#some of the packages we get are wild ngl

[a-dracon]

In light of the planned UPS strike, I'd figure I could share with you guys some ways to make things easier for your UPS store clerks before and after the strike (Source: I fuckign work here)

So first things first, we are not supposed to accept tips, not even during holiday season. HOWEVER, many stores accept gifts, such as cookies, gift cards, chocolates, etc. If you want to give something though, make sure to call or contact the store first to see if it's alright and if any workers have allergies.

AMAZON RETURNS. Oh my god the stories I have about returns. So, there's three types of codes for Amazon returns. If the code is a full shipping label and has a barcode with a tracking number starting with 1Z, then the label needs to be printed out and the item packaged. If it's a QR code with the words "No box no label" underneath, you can bring in the item without packaging and we'll scan the QR code for a label. If it's a QR code with the words "Customer Packed" underneath then you have to bring it in packaged then we can the code to print the label.

Speaking of tracking numbers, all UPS tracking numbers start with 1Z. If it doesn't start with 1Z, then it isn't a UPS tracking number. Please don't ask us to track it if it's not a UPS tracking number.

Always call ahead and ask if a service is available if it's not something like returns or copies. Some stores, especially smaller ones, may not have all the services available. Some don't have mailboxes, some can't do fingerprinting, etc. for whatever reason. Usually they can recommend another store nearby that does.

And now some stuff for customers themselves

In order to give estimates for how much a package will cost to ship we need three things: Weight of the box, Size of the box, and the zip code it's going to. We offer both UPS and USPS shipping options at most stores in America. Idk about outside America.

Speaking of USPS, some stores print individual stamps and sell books of stamps too.

More USPS stuff, most stores can take USPS packages. We cannot however provide a receipt, so if you want a tracking number, take a picture of the label. The tracking number will be below the barcode.

WANNA SAVE SOME MONEY AT UPS??? Great, you can get discounts by being in programs like AAA, AARP, Sears, etc. Again, I recommend checking online for a full list.

WE DO NOT TAKE FEDEX PACKAGES. WE LITERALLY CANT. GO TO WALGREENS OR SOMETHING.

I'll add more as I remember, and I'll definitely remember some since I'm working today and tomorrow, or if y'all got questions lmk.

[unpopularbunny]

This lowkey been a long time coming if I’m being honest. I am also a massive fucking hypocrite because I will avoid Baku/kiri/reader fics but this??? This right here??? 🙇‍♀️ I’m on the floor baby. (Ngl this has like a pinch of body shaming in it, just wanna preface by saying I do not hate any specific group of people based on any physical trait they may have. I just want more love for big girlies.)

Pairing: chifuyu/reader/baji

You already know: reader is a fat girl!!!!! everyone’s an adult, no set timeline, fuck it we ball 🏀, paranormal slutivity, your fave mans is a whore, public shenanigans, reader lowkey under the influence but there’s no dub/noncon, no beta reader again so if u point out any flaws ur being mean to me and if ur mean to me I’ll die, reblogs make u SO big brained 🗿🗿

Minors: ur mama know what you doin? I’m telling 💥

A/n: I’ll add a readmore when i get home and can make sure tumblr wont eat my post when I do.

🌹🌷🌹

you just wanted to be different for once. To ignore years of mass media telling you how to dress, to feel wild and FREE. you wanted tight revealing clothes and makeup all over your face, you wanted men to jaw drop and double take at the sight of your hips swaying.

This fantasy never got far and you never predicted you’d end up between two friends who always shared in the name of brotherly camaraderie.

Leeeets take it back about a week.

You weren’t by any means conservative in your day by day fashion, you just didn’t dress how you truly wanted to. You were always worried about the stares you’d get, stares that dared to ask ‘does she know she’s embarrassing herself?’. As time went on the urge to free yourself from the confines of stretchy jeans and sweaters was too much to ignore any longer. All it took was one night of drinking at home for you to blow nearly half a paycheck on clothes that were one inch away from getting you in legal trouble. You felt justified in this, it was your turn damnit!!! You were tired of hours doom scrolling on your phone and watching all the pretty skinny girls be drowned in affection, you wanted to make people notice you. You wanted to make men think about you as you walked passed, you deserved attention and people to fawn over you.

Needless to say, the next day you realized how fucking delusional your thinking was the night before.

You nursed a headache all through the day and when you got home you were greeted by your roommate in the livingroom looking like the cat that caught the mouse. Next to her on the couch was a plastic package, she shook it at you wiggling her eyebrows and you snatched it from her before she could even ask and shuffled to your room. You could hear her cackling. It’s not like you had any kind of bad blood with your roommate, you two were actually childhood friends, you just didn’t want anyone to see your secrets.

You showered and stood in your room, staring at the package on your bed before deciding fuck it and ripping it open. You couldn’t even remember what all you ordered anyway. Most of the articles of clothing were black, save for some racy sets of underwear you thought looked cute. You refused to believe any of it could fit you, it seemed so….small. There was no way in hell you were going to give up now though, you spent all that fucking money so there was no reason not to try the clothes on.

A mistake really.

They fit you far too good.

Sure, it was tight, but not uncomfortably so, in fact the tightness felt comforting in a way? The tops hugged your curves and even though your tummy peaked out at the bottom, you thought it looked cute in a way. The skirts wouldn’t stay down, rolling up your ass when you paced your room, you’d definitely have to wear a jacket with those. The pants needed belts, your waist to hip ratio was too different for them to stay up. They felt tigh and constricting on your hips and thighs, but there was plenty of waist room. After posing a bit in your mirror you sort of lost yourself for a bit. Falling in love with your curves and admiring how your body had so many wonderful attributes.

You almost screamed when someone’s knocked on the door.

You failed to lock it and it was your downfall.

Your roommate was all gasps and awes’ at your state. She paced around you like a tiger and assaulted you with compliments, no matter how you tried to shush her and make excuses, she wouldn’t hear it. She made you re-try on all the clothes so she could see them all. It felt like you were back to school shopping with your mom, except this time she wasn’t forcing you into bullshit khakis and polos. It actually turned into a bunch of fun as she gave you tips for accessorizing and hair styling.

When all was calmed down and you two were on the couch she took your weakness and vulnerability as a chance to strike like the snake she is.

She insisted you two go out this weekend!

You couldn’t even shoot her down, she had just spent the last hour boosting your ego and self esteem that you mumbled out a small ‘I guess’. She clapped her hands in glee and started firing off names of bars and clubs and she got the same responses from you every time ‘you pick’ and ‘I’ve never been there before.’ The most you told her is that you wanted to go somewhere you wouldn’t be recognized by coworkers or other friends and colleagues.

She just threw her head back and laughed, saying that you wouldn’t be recognizable with those clothes on anyway.

You couldn’t help but feel a little paranoid about what she had in store for you.

🌹 🌷 🌹

The week went by too fast for your liking and every time you tried to back out of the plans you were strongarmed by your roommate. She wasn’t going to let you go that easy. When Saturday arrived you tried avoiding her, but she was more determined than you’ve ever seen her.

You gave in and let her do with you as she pleased.

She picked out your outfit from the new clothes you bought and dug around your closet for some platforms you’d bought years ago but never worn (amazingly they still fit regardless of your calves.). She styled your hair and even did your makeup (you still got to pick the colors (: ), you felt like a sacrifice being painted up before the ritual.

How close to this assumption you were.

The club she dragged you two was some hole in the wall in shibuya with low lights and loud music. You were sweating before you even went in and it was only hotter once you two were inside. You could feel the bass shoot through your entire body and you felt so nervous and couldn’t look anywhere but the floor. Your friend ordered you both a few drinks, or rather ‘liquid courage’ she dubbed it. You were thankful for it, seeing as after a few drinks you felt much more comfortable in your skin than before. Your friend excused herself to the bathroom and you smiled and waved her off as she went, taking a few more sips of whatever new fruit concoction was in front of you.

After a few moments you were occupied on both sides by two new people. You glanced to your right and had to look up to see the man, Jesus Christ, even with platforms on he still had a few inches on you. He had long silky black hair, brown eyes, and a smile so sinister you would normally feel scared. You smiled right back and when you glanced to your left you were a few inches taller than other man. This man had short cut black hair, the cutest green eyes you’d ever seen, and ear piercings. Speaking of ears, the tips of his seemed to be tinted a little….pink?

You weren’t sure what to do now that men approached you first so you went back to looking down at your drink and sipping at it. You were a little hunched over and caught bits and pieces of the men having a conversation over your head. ‘You like this one?’ ‘Baji don’t objectify women like that, its kinda gross.’ ‘I’m just trying to help is all’ His laugh caught you off guard and you jumped.

“Eh? What’s wrong girlie? Did we scare you?” You glanced to your right and..baji? Was leaning down into your personal space. When you leaned back you were leaning into his friend, who didn’t exactly seem to hate your body pressing into his.

“No- you’re just a little…close is all” you were surprised anyone could hear you over the music.

“C’mon baji let’s le-“ baji waved his hand and chifuyu stopped.

“Wanna dance with us?” He was pressing himself against your side, his hand gliding up your thigh towards your hips. He laughed at the confused face you responded with, “yeah girlie, both of us, unless that ain’t your type thing. I just assumed on account of how you dressin and all.” You couldn’t tell if your face was hot from being drunk or the embarrassment.

You should feel outraged at the fact that he assumed you were a loose woman but…..was that such a bad thing? You wanted to feel desired, you wanted to be lusted after, and it was happening. He wasn’t using force, in fact his hand was merely resting at the small of your back rubbing small circles. You were still in a public place so it’s not as if he could do anything to you, you didn’t dress up to weigh the pros and cons. You downed the rest of your fruity drink and nodded, relinquishing yourself to whatever ungodly fate awaited you.

“Atta girl,” He took one hand while his friend took your other and gently led you away from the bar, “we’re gonna have so much fun with you tonight sweetie.” It was like micro-dosing danger. Every smile and laugh having some sinister undertone.

But god was it fun.

🌹 🌷 🌹

You got the hang of dancing in clubs a few years ago, it wasn’t hard, it didn’t take any special skill. You just needed to know what to do with your hips and hands.

Which you were currently struggling to do.

You’d danced with other men before, but mostly one at a time, never quite….like this.

You had your back against baji, his hands were on your hips to guide you. He was guiding you to sway against him, every so often pressing his hardon against your ass. one of your arms were up and behind you, wrapped around his neck to keep him close. Your other arm was front of you, draped over the shoulder of his more reserved friend (who you still had to get a name from), whom was doing things that contradicted the cool demeanor he gave off. He was pressed as close as he could be, his pelvis pushed against yours so you got a good idea of the fun he was having. Even if he didn’t do the best job of showing it. He was so close his nose would brush yours every so often and you expected him to kiss, but he didn’t. His hands were at your waist, holding a little tighter than expected, as if he were giving your exposed flesh squeezes here and there.

Something about this felt so shamelessly erotic.

You were so wrapped up that you didn’t give a thought to your friend who had gone to the bathroom, she probably had seen you by now and didn’t want to interrupt. You felt so transfixed on the green eyes infront of you and the hands sliding down your waist to your thighs and pulling up the edges of your skirt-

“Shhh don’t make a scene-“ you had seized up but Baji’s guiding hands kept you moving, “you like this don’t you?” It was his friend, his voice was much firmer, “That’s why you’re here, like this, between us. You want it.” His hand was under your skirt and sliding up up up. So fucking slow that you shifted just to get his hand between your legs faster. Just as his fingers brushed the forming wet spot on your panties, you could hear baji laugh against your neck on the other side of you.

“How the fuck are you so good at spotting the good ones chifuyu” was that his name? A man had his fingers pressed against your clit and you’re just now learning his name?

“Eh? What do you mean so good?” He shot back, his hand was in your panties, rubbing and petting at your clit while having a normal conversation as if you weren’t between them.

“Look at her!” You moaned and grinded against chifuyus hand, doing your best to make them focus on you again, “Perfect size to split between us and such a cute cheeks!” One of baji’s hands came up and pinched your cheek for emphasis.

“Do you honestly believe that every decision i make is backed by some deep analysis?” He laughed, “I guessed!” You arched as two fingers slid inside of you and curled, any noise you made was cut off by chifuyu kissing you. His kiss was desperate. The fingers inside you moved, slowly and carefully- god his tongue was inside your mouth now and you were suffocating but your head was absolutely floating. It was just so hard to keep focus on your surroundings. So many sensations- you could feel slick beginning to coat your thighs as his hand moved faster and you got sloppier. When he pulled away your lipstick was smeared on his mouth and there was a hazy look in his eyes. He buried his face against your neck on one side and baji was on the other. Chifuyu hand was between your legs and one of bajis hands had found it’s way under your shirt and was giving your nipple an unforgiving pull and twist. You three were pressed so close together that no one could really figure out what was happening, not that anyone was going to stop it.

They owned the bar after all.

Chifuyu tilted his hand and when his thumb brushed your clit your legs wobbled and baji had to focus on keeping you upright against him. Chifuyu smiled and laughed, the first you’d seen tonight, and you felt embarassed all over again.

“Hey! Don’t go falling apart on us sweet heart, we aren’t even close to being done with you yet.” Baji was encouraging you and the whine you let out only encouraged him tenfold.

Rather than fight against the waves and risk drowning, you went with the flow and closed your eyes and relaxed into them. You’d never had such a lavish experience of having two pretty boys give you attention like this. It was way past overstimulating but not in a bad way, you’d worry about that in the morning. Right now you your moans were escalating with the music. When said music began to dip but your voice didn’t follow suit, one of bajis hands wrapped tightly around your mouth while chifuyu increased pace.

“Thaaats it,” chifuyu whispered into your neck, “Make a mess for me.”

“You might wanna hold on tight girlie,” Baji mocked, “He overachieves.” You moved your arms so both of them were wrapped around chifuyu.

You had never been more thankful for loud ass music more than now. Had it not been for whatever club mix was on, everyone would hear the sloppy wet lewd noises of the three fingers that were buried inside of you. Any words or pleas you voiced were muffled and baji took on the sole responsibility of holding you up while chifuyu gladly drove you to climax.

They were both so goddamn obscene in their own right. Not only did they casually whisper conversation to eachother about all the wonderful things you three could get up to together, but they each had individual plans for you. Baji wanted to try having you all to himself for a day to see what other kinds of clothes he could put you in and then rip off of you. Chifuyu mentioned something about ‘giving support’ under his desk while he had stressful days at work. Baji definitely agreed with that and had the fucking drive to ask what you felt like inside.

“Inside? Like heaven.” Chifuyu made it sound like a sin, “She’s so slippery and soft.” Stop stop stop! “What about her mouth?” As if on unspoken command, baji shoved two fingers right into your mouth and pet at your tongue. You drooled so easily and licked without hesitation.

“She’s already drooling,” He shoved his fingers deeper, he did it so fast you gaged and coughed, “Gag reflex? We can fix that sweetheart.” Danger alarms began to fire off in your head, unfortunately they went ignored in lieu of the heat in your lower stomach. You were so close and desperate you just let them carry on, anything to keep the fingers inside of you.

Your whole body seized up when you came and you were truly astonished you didn’t blackout completely. They laughed in amazement at the sight of your eyes rolling back and the way you arched. You were putty in their hands, laying limp back against baji but still holding onto chifuyu.

Maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Sona, the Maven of the Strings build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Shilin Huang. Made for Riot Games.)

(Shit meme by yours truly.)

Revealing my Champion Mastery just to say that I play a lot of Sona. Don’t flame me for playing Seraphine and Yuumi I swear to god, and I have no idea why Teemo is in my top 10 highest mastery champs ngl.

Anyways you have no idea how happy I am as a Sona main that my girl is now top tier. I came to League of Legends from Overwatch (yes really) and I used to main Lucio in OW along with some of the more “techy” characters like Symmetra and Torbjorn. (Came to OW from TF2 where I mained Engineer and Medic.) Sona was a natural fit for me as a champion who was both easy to play and very similar to Lucio. It also helps that I joined the Rift during the single most engaging meta to ever grace this game. I was kinda too shit to play Janna but the Ardent Censer meta is also why I have such a high mastery on Lulu tbh.

But enough about my history with League: Sona! Honestly when I think of an archetypical support Sona pops into my head a lot sooner than Soraka: a champion based on empowering their teammates in as many ways as possible with heals, shields, movement speed, and CC to hold the enemy team down. I’ve always loved playing her because she feels like much more of a macro oriented character than other supports, with team-wide support as opposed to keeping one person alive like Soraka or Yuumi or focusing on CC like Morgana and Nami.

I’m going to build most if not all the champions eventually but man I am happy to tackle Sona now. She’s always been on my mind as my main but it was pretty difficult to think of how to make her. I think this build is good enough though!

Wow that was much longer of an intro than I’m used to. You can really tell which champions I’m excited for lol.

GOALS

Everything in harmony - Sona boosts everyone on her team with her songs as they fill the air.

Triple time! - Sona’s ability to boost her whole team into a good position is always beneficial.

Crescendo! - Fun fact: Sona’s ultimate is canonically extremely painful as she forces you to contort your limbs against your will. Why is Sona needlessly macabre? Well remember that Riot also wrote Volibear as an Eldritch old god.

RACE

Sona is Human but if you want to be cool you can make her a Kalashtar for resistance to Psychic damage and advantage on Wisdom saves. Regardless we’re going to be making what’s known as a dollar store Kalashtar with Variant Human. Increase your Charisma by 1 as well as your Constitution because we kinda don’t need much else. You also get proficiency in one skill of your choice which will of course be Performance, and a language which you can pick as you fancy: you won’t be speaking it anyways lmfao.

That’s because “Only you can hear me summoner; what masterpiece shall we play today?” Grab the Telepathic feat to complete this dollar store Kalashtar package. Increase your Charisma score by 1 and get a 60 foot telepathy to speak while being mute. You also learn the Detect Thoughts spell and can cast it once without using a spell slot. "Did he want... four autographs? I don't understand."

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - Charisma is tied to performance and all the other stuff a Demacian noblewoman is expected to be good at.

14; DEXTERITY - Something something medium armor; even if you wear a dress there’s no reason you can’t have some padding beneath it!

13; STRENGTH - Hey this isn’t something something medium armor!

12; CONSTITUTION - Sona may be squishy in League but I value not dying more than good skill checks honestly.

10; WISDOM - Speaking of not dying: Wisdom saves are more common, and Insight is more useful than most Intelligence skills.

8; INTELLIGENCE - We had to dump something so unfortunately Intelligence gets the short end of the stick. You may have studied under the illustrious Buvelle family but most of those lessons were music classes.

If you want a better stat array going 13 / 14 / 12 / 10 / 10 / 14 with Point Buy is perfectly viable, and if your DM is cool enough to let you multiclass without Strength then you’re more than welcome to dump it.

BACKGROUND

There’s two obvious backgrounds that fit Sona: the first is Entertainer for proficiency with Acrobatics and a skill of your choice (since we already took Performance lol.) You also get proficiency with Disguise Kits and your Etwahl! (That’s what Sona’s instrument is called btw.) Your background feature By Popular Demand allows you to play any stage once. "Some, just the once.” You can perform in exchange for a place to stay, and when you do so the local people will remember your wonderful performance!

But making an Entertainer Bard is kinda cliché, no? If you want to lean into Sona’s Demacian heritage go for the Noble background. This gives you proficiency with Persuasion and History as well as a gaming set of your choice: unfortunately Tellstones isn’t an option (unless your DM decides otherwise!) so a Dragonchess Set will do well enough. Oh and you get another language that you won’t speak: fun! Your Position of Privilege makes it easy for you to arrange meetings with other important people, and the commonfolk will be kind and cordial with you.

(Screenshot from the Tellstones: King’s Gambit trailer by Riot Games.)

I personally opted to go for Noble when making this build, but if you want to choose Entertainer go right ahead! Backgrounds don’t affect too much overall and it’s up to you (and your DM) to make your own Sona!

(Artwork from League of Legends Wild Rift. Made for Riot Games. RIOT PLEASE UPDATE MUSE SONA ON PC I’M BEGGING YOU!)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - BARD 1

I mean what else did you expect? Bards get proficiency in three musical instruments of their choice: a Lyre is the closest you’ll get to Sona’s Etwahl, though a Dulcimer is also pretty close. I’d also recommend grabbing a Lute since most magical instruments come in Lute variety.

You also get proficiency in 3 skills of your choice like Perception to watch wards, Insight to watch people, and Athletics for a bit of Tenacity to break out of grapples. (As well as potentially grab some people yourself! Although Acrobatics is also perfectly fine for escaping grapples.)

As a Bard you can boost your ADC with Bardic Inspiration, letting them add a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You have a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier and they come back after a Long Rest.

But of course the main reason to play a Bard is to do Demacian-banned Spellcasting! You learn two cantrips from the Bard list like Vicious Mockery for some diminuendo, making it harder for the enemy to hurt your allies while also cutting them down to size. (I don’t know if your DM will let you slap your Etwahl angrily and then point at them judgingly, but you may have to break your vow of silence every now and then.) You can also learn Prestidigitation for all sorts of general magic stuff that you really shouldn’t do in front of anyone important.

You of course also learn 4 Bard spells like Cure Wounds and Healing Word for the atypical healing spells, Dissonant Whispers for some Hymn of Valor damage, and Detect Magic which you’ll likely be expected to cast as the designated support. *Sigh* Always gotta buy wards.

LEVEL 2 - BARD 2

Second level Bards could be called a Jack of All Trades, as you get to add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you aren’t proficient in. This means even if your ability scores are bad the skills you don’t have proficiency in are still good enough! You also get Song of Rest, letting your allies recover an extra d6 of health during Short Rests. And if you have Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything  Magical Inspiration will let your allies add their Bardic Inspiration to the damage or healing of a spell they cast!

And finally you can learn another spell: against as the designated support you’re expected to take Identify.

LEVEL 3 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two skills: Performance is an obvious must and Persuasion would probably be good as well.

But more importantly you get to choose your Bardic College and if you want to both shield your allies and speed them up look no further than the College of Glamour! That’s because Mantle of Inspiration grants 5 temporary hitpoints to a number of creatures within 60 feet of you equal to your Charisma modifier (which can include yourself by the way!) Additionally those creatures can move up to their movement speed as a reaction without provoking opportunity attacks, making this a great tool to reposition an ally who’s caught in a dangerous position!

You’re also capable of creating an Enthralling Performance: if you perform for at least 1 minute, you can attempt to inspire wonder in your audience. At the end of the performance you can choose a number of humanoids within 60 feet of you who watched and listened to all of it, up to a maximum equal to your Charisma modifier. Each target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by you.

While charmed in this way, the target idolizes you, and speaks glowingly of you to anyone who talks to them. They also hinder anyone who opposes you, although they avoid violence unless it was already inclined to fight for you. This effect ends on a target after 1 hour unless they take any damage, you attack it, or it witnesses you attacking or damaging any of its allies. If a target succeeds on its saving throw the target has no hint that you tried to charm it, and you can use this ability once per Short or Long Rest.

Finally you can learn second level spells like Hold Person, for a one-man version of your ultimate.

LEVEL 4 - BARD 4

Ah the first of many Ability Score Improvements. You may have noticed our deliberately uneven Charisma modifier: that’s because I’m going to be taking the Fey Touched feat for +1 to your Charisma, the Misty Step spell (for Flash, of course), and the Gift of Alacrity spell from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount for a Song of Celerity! Accelerated movement? I concur.

You can also learn another spell as well as another cantrip! For your cantrip take Mage Hand for help warding those hard-to-reach areas, and for your spell take Lesser Restoration, because yeah it’s also your job to buy Mikael’s. *Sigh.*

LEVEL 5 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get a Font of Inspiration that lets their Bardic Inspiration come back after a Short Rest as well as a Long Rest. That’s good because your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8, which also boosts your Mantle of Inspiration to grant 8 temporary hitpoints!

You can also learn another spell like Hypnotic Pattern: while it won’t do any damage and your allies can’t hit the dancing enemies it’ll still be the best recreation of your ultimate for now.

(Artwork by Katie “TeaTime” De Sousa. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 1

I hope you weren’t expecting this to be a pure Bard build, because then I’d just be building Seraphine again! Grab your something something Medium Armor as well as a shield (well technically you need both hands free to play a musical instrument) it’s Paladin time, master of auras! 

Paladins get a Lay on Hands pool equal to 5 times their Paladin level for some more healing. You can touch a creature to give them any amount of health from your Lay on Hands, or use 5 hitpoints from your Lay on Hands pool to neutralize a poison or disease affecting them. You also get Divine Sense to locate any Celestial, Fiend, or Undead as long as they’re within 60 feet of you and not behind total cover. Don’t worry it gets a lot more exciting later.

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins can choose their Fighting Style and you’re still more of a mage than a warrior, so Blessed Warrior will give you two cantrips from the Cleric list that use your Charisma! Guidance is an obvious must for a support and Toll the Dead is a great option if you want to go full AP.

Should you have options for attacks to target enemies who have high Wisdom? Yeah probably: Sacred Flame might be a good choice.

Of course cantrips also imply more Spellcasting! You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level (rounded down) which is currently a freaking lot of spells. Let’s just go down the list, shall we?

Bless is great to buff your team and make them harder, better, faster, and stronger.

Command is a mostly harmless Enchantment spell that will force your foes to do as you, well, command. I’d argue “dance” is a reasonable Command.

Protection from Evil and Good is never bad to have in your back pocket in case you’re fighting either Kayle or Fiddlesticks.

And Shield of Faith will let you boost your ADC’s survivability with Ardent Censer!

I know you can prepare more spells but there isn’t much I want from first level of Paladin. I am contractually obligated to mention that you can also turn your spell slots into a Divine Smite if you hit an enemy with a melee weapon, but you aren’t really going to be using weapons in this build. That’s right boys hop aboard the caster Paladin train!

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 3

Third level Paladins get to choose their Sacred Oath and Oath of the Watchers may seem weird but it’s really good at defending your allies. That’s because you get two different Channel Divinity options: Abjure the Extraplanar works similarly to the Cleric’s Turn Undead feature except it affects Aberrations, Celestials, Elementals, Fey, and Fiends.

Watcher’s Will meanwhile lets you choose a number of creatures you can see within 30 feet of you, up to your Charisma modifier. For 1 minute, you and the chosen creatures have advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws. This means that in a party of 6 this ability can give your whole party advantage on all mental saves, which is huge for keeping everyone alive against nasty casters! See? Demacia can use your magic!

Speaking of magic you get Alarm and Detect Magic as Oath spells. (Might want to swap Detect Magic from your Bard list with Mass Healing Word ty Tasha’s.) You can also use Harness Divine Power to regain a spell slot equal to half your proficiency bonus a number of times per Long Rest. And you get Divine Health, because you don’t take a sick day to stop complaining about Seraphine.

LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 4

4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement: cap off that Charisma for maximum AP scaling!

(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 5

5th level Paladins can finally prepare second level spells! As a Watchers Paladin you get access to Moonbeam as well as See Invisibility, both of which are very good for dealing with incoming gankers.

You can also prepare spells like Aid to boost your allies’ HP, Prayer of Healing (ty Tasha’s) for some out-of-combat healing, and Warding Bond for a Knight’s Vow.

Oh and you get an Extra Attack, which sure would matter if you were actually using weapons.

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 6

6th level reasons get the main reason Sona’s a Paladin: Aura of Protection! All your saving throws are increased by an amount equal to your Charisma modifier, which is a full +5 currently! But what’s special about this ability is that it also applies to your allies within 10 feet of you, letting you give out auras a plenty to keep your allies safe!

You can also prepare another spell but again: not much I really want. So we’re going to be waiting a little while longer once again.

LEVEL 12 - PALADIN 7

7th level Watchers Paladins get Aura of the Sentinel, or as I like to call it: Song of Celerity. When you or any creature of your choice within 10 feet of you roll for initiative, they gain a bonus to initiative equal to your proficiency bonus. While this may make positioning a little difficult (everyone’s going to have to huddle around you) this ability guarantees that you can speed up all your important allies to make sure they get their powerful abilities off!

LEVEL 13 - PALADIN 8

8th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement or a Feat. You may have noticed your uneven Constitution score: grab good ol’ Resilient Constitution for a boost to your health and even more insurance on your Concentration checks. With your Paladin aura and proficiency you’d have a +12 total to your Constitution checks currently, meaning that if you take 24 damage or less you won’t even have to roll for Concentration!

LEVEL 14 - PALADIN 9

You are probably the only Paladin who cares about spells, so it’s nice that you get 3rd level spells now! Watchers Paladins get two very strong third level spells: Nondetection will help you deward and keep your allies safe from enemies that may try to sneak a peak at you, but Counterspell is the true best choice to stop danger from befalling your allies. What’s very good about Counterspell is that as a Bard you get to add Jack of All Trades to the skill check, meaning it’s far easier for you to deny an incomming spell than any other spellcaster! “Mages have enough problems without you.”

Of course you can prepare some more spells like Aura of Vitality for Aria of Perseverance, and Revivify for an ADC’s Guardian Angel. But having access to spells like Remove Curse, Dispel Magic, Crusader’s Mantle, and even Daylight on the Paladin spell list are all extremely useful to be able to prepare. Remember that you are doing yourself a disservice by not taking time to think about what the best spells to prepare would be for your current quest. "Every note is important."

(Artwork by Kelly Aleshire & Esben Lash Rasmussen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 15 - BARD 6

Now that we’ve got all our auras it’s time to go back to Bard for Mantle of Majesty! As a bonus action, you cast Command without expending a spell slot as you take on an appearance of unearthly beauty for 1 minute. During that minute you can cast Command as a bonus action on each of your turns without expending a spell slot. Additionally any creature charmed by you automatically fails its saving throw against the command you cast with this feature. You do have to concentrate on this feature (like a spell), and once you use it you can’t do so again until you finish a long rest.

You can also learn another spell but there isn’t much I want from the third level of Bard, really. Oh and you get Countercharm which is awful and I hate it, but since you didn’t take a 10th level in Paladin I suppose you have to use it. Spend an action to give allies advantage on their saving throws against charms and fears, I guess.

LEVEL 16 - BARD 7

7th level Bard; 4th level spells. Freedom of Movement will let you help either yourself or an ally with Mikael’s Crucible, and Dimension Door is great to get into lane fast, or back to base fast!

LEVEL 17 - BARD 8

8th level Bards get another Ability Score Improvement, and if you don’t like the look of something something Medium Armor then the Eldritch Adept feat might be able to help. Take the Mask of Many Faces invocation to be able to cast Disguise Self at will to change your skins as you please.

Could you have taken this earlier? Absolutely. Are there better invocations? Yeah probably, but by level 17 you can make some of your own choices. Build your own Sona: this is merely a guide and you can make your own choices.

Speaking of own choices: take whichever spell you want at this level. There’s plenty of great ones for a 4th level Bard and I can’t recommend anything in particular to you. Every musician has their own style, and it’s up to you to find your own!

(Artwork by Yan Li. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - BARD 9

9th level Bards get to pretend that increasing Song of Rest from a d6 to a d8 by total level 18 is helpful.

You do get access to 5th level spells like Mass Cure Wounds, which is like Mass Healing Word but better! "Harmoniously."

LEVEL 19 - BARD 10

10th level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception is an obvious must to watch over your wards but beyond that? Honestly pick your poison with whatever skill you want since by level 19 you can make your own choices. (Though my personal choice would be Athletics to hopefully give some more safety against grapples.)

But of course the main boon of reaching level 10 in Bard is the Magical Secrets! ...I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you again: there honestly aren’t any spells in particular I want as Magical Secrets. Sure I could recommend spells like Haste or whatever but are they really going to be that great by total level 20? To be honest even the spells on the Bard list like Animate Objects, Greater Restoration, Hold Monster, Rary's Telepathic Bond, Scrying, and Synaptic Static are very good (although I’d sooner replace some of your old spells with them.)

Again I know this is supposed to be a “guide” but most people won’t hit level 19 anyways, so I don’t think it’s that bad for me to recommend you take your own steps to make your own Sona. Hell, build some AP if you want! I know I would!

LEVEL 20 - BARD 11

Our final level is the 11th level of Bard and I’ll be honest: it’s just to add Otto's Irresistible Dance to your spell list. It can only affect one person but it’s still your ultimate by total level 20.

Oh and you were supposed to get a cantrip last level. Uhhhhh I dunno take Mending lol.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

The rhythm connects us all - You have dozens of spells to keep your team alive and active during a fight, not to mention that all your Paladin auras and abilities really help them give 110%. It’s worth mentioning that Gift of Alacrity combined with Aura of the Sentinel is a d8 + 6 to an Initiative roll, which will almost always guarantee that whoever you want to go first will be going first!

A true masterpiece should celebrate living - Despite your somewhat weird level split you maxed out the only stat which matters for you: Charisma. And woah holy shit turns out Paladins are really good with maxed out Charisma! +5 to all saves means even your lowest save is a +4, and the saves your proficient in vary between +13 for Dexterity and Constitution (both very common!) and a whopping +16 save on Charisma!

Curtains up; I'm ready - Jack of All Trades also does quite nicely to help your middling skills. Even though I dumped most of your mental skills you’re still proficient enough that you won’t be completely helpless when caught off guard. And when you’re in the zone with Persuasion or Performance you are easily the best girl around!

CONS

Don't make me get off stage - It was my intention to recreate Sona’s positional gameplay with this build but it does present some gameplay issues when trying to maximize your effectiveness. Where do you position yourself as a character who’s still primarily a squishy caster despite your good saving throws and AC? Can you give everyone in your party support, or are they too spread out to get value out of your 10 foot range auras?

Quiet, please! - You have a damn good concentration check, but what do you concentrate on? Not only do you have a ton of spells but they all scale very good with levels and you have spell slots that go far higher than your maximum level spell. It can be hard to choose what to do with those 7th and 8th level slots.

The world is cruel... Until that changes, I'll never stop playing - One of many “meta” problems with this build was my choice to focus almost entirely on support. Sure Toll the Dead is a great damaging cantrip but your only two damaging spells are Moonbeam and Dissonant Whispers. Again: you don’t have to follow my build point-for-point and while you’ll be flamed in League for building Sona full AP I don’t think your friends will mind if you take some damaging spells.

But if you can’t tell it was really hard for me to come up with those downsides. With the exception of the positional requirements a Bardadin is a very strong build and Sona is a very strong support. Boost your teammates with your own amazing power and make sure everyone’s alive and jamming! Your power may have been forgotten over the years but no one’s ever upset to have a great support at their side. And remember: Seraphine may be in K/DA but you’re in Pentakill, and you have your own label! No one can replace DJ Sona!

[leejungchans]

— the road ahead.

juliet’s masterlist | 👀 ask juliet anything!!

word count: 1.4k

set in late january, 2018 and before juliet was invited to join ateez’s lineup

summary: after the end of mixnine, ryujin and juliet discuss their future plans.

a/n: oof this is kinda angsty but it ends on a positive note i promise 😭😭 please leave feedback and chat with me :3 💕

“What a wild ride, huh?” Juliet laughs sadly, taking a sip of her soda. The fizzy beverage really isn’t helping. As it travels down her throat, she feels as though it’s freezing every part inside her, filling her with a sense of numbness and deepening the pit of dread in her stomach.

Or maybe it’s just the weather. She loves winter, but something about the biting cold when she’s already in a bad headspace sends her further down that downwards spiral.

Juliet curses herself for her choice of beverage, and again for not finishing it so she wouldn’t still be holding onto it as the two girls walk out the warm restaurant and out into the streets.

“Yeah,” Ryujin agrees quietly. Their dinner was full of exchanged bittersweet smiles and unspoken words, though neither girl dared bring up the elephant in the room until they finished eating. It being the disappointment from losing on MIXNINE. Of course, they both knew they gave it their all, and ultimately there could only be one winner, so there really are no hard feelings towards anyone.

It just never feels good to lose out on such a chance; to be so, so close to reaching your dream only to fail at the last second.

She remembers the staff at KQ congratulating her for making it that far into the competition, and she could tell that they were pleased how she managed to garner so much positive attention for both herself and the company from the show, however unexpected it was. She also remembers how excited the boys were for her when she made it into the girls’ team for the final competition, happy at the prospect of their friend debuting.

Perhaps this is why losing hurts even more, because she didn’t only let herself down, but also the people who believed in her.

It’s been a while since Juliet’s felt this way. The first was when she left SM. While knowing the decision was necessary for her mental health, another part of her blamed herself for being unable to endure it and giving up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when so many others would kill to be in her place. The second time being when she was approached by the KQ scout, not knowing whether it was all worth a second chance but also not wanting to go home to her family in Sydney having accomplished nothing.

Why has she not gotten better at dealing with these emotions? Shouldn’t she have developed a thicker skin? Why doesn’t it hurt less?

And to think that she thought she really had a chance after performing so consistently in MIXNINE. Had it all been wishful thinking?

For Juliet, desperation always led to naivety. It seems like this was no exception.

“What are you thinking about?” Ryujin asks gently, pulling her scarf up to cover her face more as a gust of icy wind hits them.

“Just what I should do now... I guess.”

“Did your company discuss any plans with you?”

“No,” Juliet sighs, her breath condensing into a small puff of white fog. “There aren’t any other female trainees yet, so either they’ll start recruiting some to form a girl group for later, or... I don’t know...”

Ryujin hesitates before choosing her next words carefully. “What about your friends? The boys in your company?”

“The company is planning to debut them late this year. I think they’ll also be heading to LA soon to train further. They’ll be great, I just know it.” A small smile tugs at Juliet’s lips at the mention of the boys, because no matter how terrible and lost she feels about her future in the industry, she is unquestionably happy for the boys for being one step closer to their dream.

Still, there’s a pang in her heart from the thought of not being able to see the boys as often now that they weren’t going to train as regular trainees, but as to-be idols. She wonders how she’ll be able to handle training alone once they leave for LA.

It hurts to think about it—being in their practice room without hearing Wooyoung’s signature laugh, or Seonghwa nagging everyone to stay hydrated, or Hongjoong’s pleading voice urging everyone to sober up when things get just a little too chaotic.

And what about eating lunch without sharing laughs over Yunho and Mingi’s jokes and retellings of funny incidents that happened to them? Or not getting to beat Jongho at arm wrestling even though it’s only because he let her win? Will she also start looking at fried chicken differently because she won’t have Yeosang and San to share it with?

So many questions, not enough answers. Juliet’s chest constricts, so she shakes her head to rid herself of those thoughts before she starts breaking down in the middle of the busy Seoul streets. She’ll deal with them later, she supposes. “Enough about me,” she chuckles weakly. “What about you?”

“JYP is debuting me next year with a few other girls,” Ryujin admits after a few beats of silence. “They said I have to start preparing for it next week.”

Juliet grins. “That’s amazing!” Her smile drops immediately when she notices Ryujin’s frown. “But why do you sound so sad about it?”

The shorter girl pouts. “I don’t know... I guess it just feels... wrong bringing that up at this time. It feels like I’m rubbing salt into the wound.”

This time, Juliet lets out a genuine laugh as she clasps her hands over one of Ryujin’s. “Silly, I’m happy for you more than anything! Don’t think like that!”

“I wish you were in JYP, they’d definitely put you in my team, and we could’ve debuted together.”

“That would be fun,” Juliet admits wistfully, “but it’s not the end for me. At least, I hope not.” She doesn’t know if she’s trying to convince Ryujin or herself. Maybe both. “My contract is not up yet, so at least I’ll be in Seoul until the end of this year, and we can keep meeting up until then!”

“You’re planning to leave after that?” Ryujin asks with widened eyes. This is the first time she’s heard Juliet mention leaving Seoul. “Where to? Home in Sydney?”

Juliet shrugs. “Yeah, but nothing’s set in stone yet. For now I’ll just keep training, see if the company has any plans for me in the next few years. If not... I’ll probably go home and continue with my studies.”

The thought of returning to Australia empty-handed makes her stomach twist. How can she look her family in the eye after that when they’ve been nothing but supportive of her dream? The least she could do is repay them with some form of success, but her future seems so murky that it doesn’t seem possible, and she wonders if it’s really that bad going back to Sydney. At least she’d be home.

“They better have plans for you,” Ryujin says fiercely, snapping Juliet out of her daze. “I don’t want to lose you so soon!”

With the help of the warm glow from the street lamps, Juliet catches sight of her friend’s glossy eyes.

“Ryujin... are you crying?” Alarmed, Juliet stops immediately rummage through her bag for tissues, letting out a small aha! when she hears the crinkle of the plastic packaging underneath her fingertips. Ryujin lets her gently dab away the tears trailing down her cheeks.

They may have only known each other for a few months, but they’ve been through so much together that Juliet considers Ryujin one of her closest friends now. “Don’t cry, Jinnie,” she soothes. Both of them don’t comment on how her voice cracked at the end of the sentence. “It’ll be okay, we’ll always be friends even if I go h—oh no, I’m gonna start crying too.”

This makes Ryujin giggle, and she takes the opportunity to take several deep breaths. “It’s just... I’m really happy we got to be friends. I’ve seen so many of my friends come and go because of how this industry is... and it doesn’t hurt any less each time. I think I’ll actually be crushed if I stop hearing from you too...”

“I’ll never stop bothering you, so don’t worry about that,” Juliet says brightly in effort to cheer her up, though she herself is rapidly blinking back hot tears. “I promise I won’t give up so soon.”

“Swear on it.”

Juliet puts up three fingers, albeit a little clumsily due to her thick gloves. “I solemnly swear that I will not give up on debuting.”

Ryujin raises a brow. “And?”

“And I also solemnly swear to never stop being friends with Shin Ryujin.”

She nods approvingly. “Good. Seriously though, your company is blind if they don’t have anything planned for you. You’ll be huge someday, I know it.”

Juliet links their arm together as they continue walking, their conversation restoring a sliver of hope in her.

“We both will. Count on it.”

a/n: ngl writing that part about juliet and the boys made my heart hurt aHa 💔💔 i think this update gives even more insight into ryuliet’s friendship!! being on mixnine was very mentally taxing on juliet, and ever since meeting ryujin they’ve been each other’s rocks throughout the competition ;-; now look at them both being 4th gen it girls ✨🥺

let me know what you think!! 🥺🥺 i really do love interacting with you guys!! thank you for reading and take care 💕

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

What a Time to be Alive - Diego Hargreeves x reader

Chapter 3- The Swedish Job

Summary: After learning of Diego’s wonderful ‘cough cough ‘terrible’ cough cough’ plan to stop the assassination of JFK. And figuring out Sir Reginald is in the recovered footage, you, Diego, and Five went out to find him. Ending the night with Diego getting shanked by his own father. Now here you are in the aftermath trying to convince Diego, he needs to rest.

Tagged: @white-wolf-buckaroo @la-vie-en-amour1 @fandomoverlord221 If you want tagged just hit me up.

This is like 55% smut ngl.⚔️

To make a long story short, you didn’t end up talking it out with Sir Reginald Hargreeves, or find anything worth dying for either. No hidden notes or files were to be found. And all that you took away from this fun little adventure. A bleeding Diego, and a cranky old man in a 13-year-olds body who also happened to get scratched by an aggressive monkey. Who turned out to be baby Pogo, things have been weirder. So you took it in stride, and hauled Diego’s ass to Elliot’s house, while Five drove, you keeping pressure on the wound the whole time.

——

Getting some medical supplies ready, you glance at an unconscious Diego, who’s sleeping soundly on the couch. Shirt off and looking as handsome as ever, contrary to the bloody bandaid covering his injury that you applied earlier. So far he was doing fine, and that’s all you needed to know. You cursed yourself for not stepping up in time to prevent this little mishap. But how could you have known Diego would get stabbed? All that mattered was that he’s alive and not dead. Ben wouldn’t want anyone else hanging around Klaus most likely anyways. He deals with enough nonsense already, you assume.

While holding the steel medical instruments, one in each hand, you carefully position yourself next to Diego. Slowly bringing the utensils closer to his damaged skin, preparing to cauterize the bloody cut. A second later you make contact, hearing a gross sizzling sound and smelling the burning of human flesh. Disgusting. Instantly Diego’s eyes shoot open, gasping at the hot pain your causing him. Being dramatic and starting to get louder, sounding like drums in your ears. Not helping whatsoever.

“Would you quite yelling I’ve never done this before” You tell him honestly while concentrating on the task at hand.

“What happened?” Diego asks you, confused as to how he got here.

“I saved you...again.” You reply bluntly, still working on his wound.

“Did you even listen to the plans?” He mumbles sassily.

“Your plans were stupid and it was entertaining watching you get your ass kicked by your own dad, if I might add.” You reply while finally looking up at him.

Suddenly he goes wide eyed again, lifting his head up to better access the situation. “Where are my clothes Y/N?! The hell happened to my clothes?” He says distressed, trying to get up.

Frustrated with his lack of listening skills you push the cauterizing tool closer into his skin, listening to the sizzle once again. Diego looks down at the damage as he yells out loudly in agony, then abruptly laying down with a groan in defeat. Falling unconscious from the large influx of pain, and conveniently not moving again either. Good.

Focusing back on the task of playing doctor, Five sighs, walking into the room. “Oh. He isn’t dead.”

“Disappointed.” Lila asks, trailing in after him from some hidden corner.

“Oh, to see you? Always.” He jabs back.

“So much hostility in such a tiny package. How are you two friends?” She asks, glancing at you unamused by Five’s rudeness.

“He’s an added bonus for dating Diego.” You vaguely explain, smiling to yourself as she nods and focuses her attention back to Five.

“Did you cut yourself shaving? I could tech you to shave like a big boy.” Quips Lila bluntly.

Snorting in amusement at her banter with Five, you look over to him. Who’s holding up a cotton pad over his scratch marks. “No, just ran into an old family friend.” He says tiredly with a sigh.

Looking briefly behind him, he points to Elliot who’s still tied to the dentist chair, unable to properly speak. “Neither of you untied him?” He asks.

“I was preoccupied.” You shrug.

“I wasn’t told otherwise.” Lila says, while sitting down and reclining in a chair.

——

While you’re throwing one of Diego’s knives into the nearby wall for some pastime target practice. An annoying alarm begins to sound throughout the room, “Hey, we got one. Hey, one of those machines you asked for his going crazy.” Announces Elliot from across the room in his swivel chair. Five speeding past you to see what the commotions about.

“Which one?” He asks quickly.

“It’s the, uh, atmosphere radar.”

“Good.” Five adds.

“I don’t get it. What are they tracking? A hurricane? A storm front?” Elliot wonders, confused as to what his radar system is showing them.

“Sound waves.” They say collectively in realization.

Five starts to back away, you knowing exactly what he’s about to do. A flash and he’s gone.

“Wow. What...Hey, where are you going?” Inquires Elliot, not used to Five’s way of handling things. Which is usually alone.

Giving him a shrug you turn back around to throw another knife, hitting the bullseye with a thud, and splintering the wood in the process. “I wonder if he’ll actually find Vanya?” You think, pondering the possible whereabouts of the rest of your friends.

——

Halting your arm from throwing another dart, your ears prick, abruptly catching the sound of Diego creaking the bed from the other room. Oh that man is not about to get up, you thought, turning to Lila. “I’m gonna have to forfeit, wolfman apparently thinks he’s okay enough to get up.” You tell her while rolling your eyes, setting your spare darts on the table and turning to find Diego.

Walking into his makeshift room you watch as he painfully stands up from the bed, grimacing and trying to breathe steadily, as not to cause anymore pain for himself.

“So what are your plans now tough guy, by the way Elliot’s made mushy tuna.” You tell him while leaning against the door frame.

“No. It’s a tuna mold.” Replies Elliot while walking away with his tuna mold, half offended.

“Y/N, where’s my shirt?”

“Last I checked you had a stab wound, so if you can all of a sudden miraculously harness my healing powers. Your ass is staying in bed.” You tell him sternly, knowing he’s not gonna listen.

“What, no I can’t, this is all connected to JFK, and my Dad’s right in the middle of it.” He explains while putting pants on. “That’s why he attacked me last night.” Looking to your right you pick up a mop-less wooden stick, and decide to have some fun getting him to shut up. “Cause he knows that I’m actually getting closer to..” he doesn’t have time to finish before you poke him directly into his bandaged bloody wound. Earning a gargled yell from him in the process, he then falls directly onto the bed grunting in pain from your cheap shot.

“Yeah you look like you’re ready to throw hands, why don’t you fight me right now. And if you win I’ll let you go.” You tell him with a shit eating grin plastered onto your smug face.

He looks up at you slightly offended and very much frustrated. “What is wrong with you?” He exclaims from the bed, still in pain.

Throwing your arms up in irritation, you try and reason with his stubbornness. “Just going out on a limb here, but if I remember correctly, you almost got killed last night. Take a day off, D.” You tell him, setting your temporary weapon off to the side. Swiveling back around on one foot, you gracefully jump onto the bed, positioning yourself right next to Diego’s discouraged and mostly naked form.

Propping your left arm up to look down at Diego, he tells you sadly, “I can’t believe I got shanked by my own father.”

“Wild right. What a prick.” You say trying to comfort him with a little humor. “Listen, if it helps any, he didn’t know you were his son when he shanked you.”

“Still, he cheap-shotted me.” He says still looking sadly off into nowhere. “Man to man, that son of a bitch wouldn’t stand a chance.” He tells you with hidden fight in his voice.

Not wanting to fully dampen his withering spirits to much but still wanting to tease him a little. You carelessly caress his skin, trailing up to push on his cut ever so lightly. Pulling forth a pained gasp from Diego, giving him a silent reminder that’s he’s in no shape to fight.

“Why didn’t you stick to the plan?” He asks finally turning to face you. Taking his statement into consideration, you lay down next to him on your back. Staring up at the ceiling, you can feel his eyes on you. “I trust you Diego, just not what’s always going on up in there.” Pointing to your head, referring to Diego’s own problem making skills. Breathing heavily you start, “I know what it’s like to die, it’s lonely and dark. You feel cold and weak, you can’t move, see, hear, or feel anything.”

Sighing you continue, “I remember the first time I died. Have I ever told you about it?”

Looking at you more intensely now he replies in a whisper, “Never.”

You glance at him for a moment before diving right back into your story, trying to make a point as to why he shouldn't be actively putting himself in danger. “I was 5 at the time, my heightened senses and all that other shit came to be before I figured out I was immortal. It was hard not understanding why I could hear so well. Or run in the dark through my house without tripping, unlike my parents, who couldn’t see shit without a flashlight.”

You kept your eyes fixed on the ceiling with a troubled expression crossing your face, letting the memories flood back into your mind. “A fire started late one night, mum had left one of her scented candles burning on a wooden table downstairs. She didn’t mean to leave it there, but the dogs were getting rowdy again, so she had to put them away in their cages. And dad was already in bed snoozing away. I could smell the smoke before I new something was wrong, then I heard my mother screaming and my dad yelling for her to calm down.”

“Shit” Diego whispered.

“The fire had burned so fast through our house, it had gone up the stairs and reached our hallway. Fortunately for my parents, their room was at the end of the hall, so their escape to freedom was easy. But unfortunately for myself, I was trapped, I couldn’t open my windows and the door handle burned to much to touch. I huddled in the corner of my room terrified, and then just like that, my door was gone and the flames shot in.” You tell him with a shaky breath as a lone tear runs down the side of your face and into your hairline.

“What did it feel like?” He asks softly, nervous as to what you’re about to say. Letting you take your time.

“It was excruciating. I’d never felt pain like it before. Sure I’d scraped my knee or walked into the wall a couple times when I was smaller, it happens. But this pain, this was like having boiling water poured over you all while standing on hot coals.”

“Jesus.”

“When the firemen found me, they thought I was a charred corpse. They picked me up and set me down in the grass, and that’s when I woke up. The guy fainted and my mother rushed over to me in hysterics.” You yawned, tired from the emotional roller-coaster you were currently putting yourself through. “After that they realized something was definitely up with me, and 7 years later they decided I was to much to handle and then ‘poof’ I was an unwilling member of the Umbrella Academy. The end.” You finish, turning your head to look directly at Diego, as he sits up on his right elbow turning to fully face you.

“I had no idea. Why haven’t you ever told me before?” He wonders.

Bringing your jaded gaze back to Diego, you go to explain. “It’s not like it’s that fun of a memory. And anyways you never asked.” You mutter, taking in a deep breath, and relaxing again.

“I guess we could stay longer...for a bit. I guess that’s okay.” He murmurs in that gravely voice of his that you’ve missed so much.

Sitting up on your left elbow to meet his dark eyes, faces inches apart, you start to contemplate where this close proximity may lead you. Smoothly hinting at your excitement you tell him while smirking, “I’ve spent one year and 7 months trying to find you, if you don’t kiss me in the next...” you don’t have time to finish before his lips come crashing onto yours for a sweet and hungry embrace.

Pulling away instantly you lightly slap him across the face, making him groan loudly and throw his hands up to his stinging skin. “What the hell, Y/N?! What is wrong with you woman?!” He exclaims muffled by his hands, until he pulls them away to reveal an incredibly confused expression littering his features.

Laughing for a moment, you smile while climbing on top of him, pinning him to the bed between your unmoving legs, “You didn’t let me finish.” You say lovingly, hovering over Diego’s shirtless body.

“Ow. Oh, oh, ow, ow, ow.” Diego suddenly says while flinching in pain at the sudden new pressure of your body weight on his torso.

“Oh, shit. Sorry love.” You tell him smiling as you lean your body onto your legs more, so you’re not completely crushing him.

Mock glaring up at you, Diego breaks out into a huge smile. “Just. Be gentle.” He says kissing you again. “God, you’re the most weirdest and fantastic person I’ve ever met.” He says breathlessly, staring deep into your beaming eyes. Not being able to hold yourself back anymore you lean down attacking his lips in a heated embrace. His hands instantly go to your hips on instinct, like he’s done it a million times before. You both begin exploring each other’s bodies like it was the first time all over again, wanting nothing more then to feel every muscle and curve both of you have to offer.

Breaking his lips away from yours, he quickly goes to tell you something important, as a fake pout falls to your face, “These have to go.” He says, as he reaches for the bottom of your white tank top and begins to pull it up, you helping him speed up the process. Taking your shirt in one hand he throws it, not giving two fucks as to where it could have landed. You also not caring in the slightest, just eager to get things rolling. Next you skillfully unclasp your bra, taking it off and flinging it off to the side. Diego stares at you with a giant grin spread across his face. Reaching out to gently caress the sides of your breasts, his hands slowly trailing up your body to bring you down to kiss him again.

“I guess I won’t be needing these.” You mumble in between kisses. Referring to your pants and underwear, annoyingly concealing the prize jewels. On both of you in fact. Awkwardly struggling to rip your pants off, you lay next to Diego for a brief moment finally getting your jeans and chucking them across the small room. Jumping back into action, you straddle him, hands roaming all over each other once again. As your lips make contact, savoring every second with him for as long as you can.

Moaning in deep satisfaction you take a breath to tell Diego, “As much as I’m digging you in white, these things gotta go.” You explain while kissing his cheek, sneakily reaching down to tug at his tight white underwear that now are concealing a noticeable bulge. “You first mi amor.” He purrs seductively in your ear, you just about die. As gracefully as you can muster, you tear your undergarments off accidentally kneeing Diego in the gut, thankfully not near his stab wound. “Oh shit.” You laugh breathlessly, as Diego grunts in pain but only for a moment, before flipping you over, pinning you to the bed. “I’ll let that slid.” He says smiling at you, kissing you again real quick before he takes off his own underwear. Revealing the true king jewels, you’ve been absolutely dying for, no pun intended.

Diego looks deeply into your eyes, opening up your legs and kissing your inner thigh. Sending shock-waves of pleasure and pure joy throughout your whole being. God it’s been a long fucking time, you thought. As agonizingly slow as ever, Diego gently kisses your stomach. Inching his way up to your mouth with light butterfly kisses that make their way up in between your breasts, then to your collarbone, neck, cheeks, and eventually arriving at your wanting lips. All the while he continues to feverishly feel you up, you not shying away as you do the exact same. In true Diego style, without warning he thrusts into you, making you moan loudly in pleasant surprise. His thrusts are slow and full of passion at first, both of you savoring the moment for as long as you can take. Until it’s not enough for you anymore, you begin bucking your hips into his, trying to get more friction. Diego takes your not-so-subtle hint and obliges by picking up the pace., pounding into you harder, perfectly hitting your sweet spot every time.

 “Ah, fuck.” 

He grunts while pushing you further into the mattress with that muscular heavenly body of his. He sloppily kisses the side of your opened mouth that’s quietly releasing satisfied moans with each new thrust of his cock into your soaking walls. To say that you are on cloud nine would be a severe understatement. It’s been way to damn long since you’ve had a good fuck, and there was no way anyone from the 60′s was getting anything from you while you patiently waited for Diego. The bed shakes as his sweaty body rocks you back and forth into the soft blankets, your hands hold onto his back for support while he continues to fill you up to the max as he pulls in and out of you like a madman. You suddenly let out a shaky gasp when his hard cock hits your sweet spot in the most perfect of ways. He leans his elbows onto the bed as he looks down at your pleased face with a smile, satisfied with his fruitful work at making you get this way, so completely undone, and all because of Diego. You bite your lip as a knot begins to form into your dripping core, you open your eyes to watch as Diego appears to mirror you, he begins to moan loader as he starts pumping even harder into you, teetering on the edge of oblivion, you about to do the same. A couple more deep thrusts from Diego’s angelic body sends you fully over the edge, screaming in ecstasy as your orgasm explodes throughout your entire being. Practically sending sparks of electricity racing through you, your walls tighter around Diego’s cock as you ride out your high. With one more ragged thrust, Diego moans as his own orgasm hits, loudly spilling into you with everything he’s got left to give.

Kissing your sweaty cheek, Diego pulls out of you, flopping on the bed to your right while making it shake for a second. “God I love you, Y/N.” He says tiredly, not sure if it’s from the blood loss or your goddess-like body. Turning to face Diego, you scoot in closer, cuddling him as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I love you too, my hairy wolfman.” You tease him with a laugh. Closing your eyes you start to feel the weight of the past 24 hours hit you like a sack of bricks. Smiling in content and comfort, you reach down to pull the covers over your naked bodies, then throwing your left arm around Diego’s chest, hugging him gently before immediately dozing off. Diego lightly kissing your forehead, falling asleep shortly after.

——

Meanwhile.

“Hey, while those two love birds are busy I’m gonna head out, be back soon. Aight.” Lila tells Elliot, waving at him as she hastily slips out the backdoor, like a thief in the night.

Waving awkwardly back he watches as she leaves, hearing the sound of a projectile hitting the bedroom window. Causing him to jump, and grumpily walk downstairs with his tuna mold in hand.

[makeste]

checking in with Tomura, Deku, AFO, and their drunk AF quirks

yeah lol it is pretty confusing ngl. so anyway my theory on this is a little hard to explain without going a bit in depth, so let me try to break it down. first, the basics:

AFO and OFA are the same quirk. OFA is just a xerox copy of AFO, in the same way that the current AFO is making do with a xerox copy of the original AFO quirk which Tomura now has. we already know that quirks can be duplicated; it’s just that in OFA’s case, duplicating the quirk was an accident on AFO’s part and not intentional. it’s very similar to how Harry was accidentally turned into a horcrux by Voldemort in HP, but more on this here; for the time being let’s move on with the rest of this post.

as explained in chapter 213, OFA’s previous users are NOT in fact just “vestiges” (although I will keep calling them that for simplicity’s sake lol). Deku says it’s much more than that, and that the previous users “are somehow alive in One for All.”

we’ve also seen other indicators that the vestiges are more than just mere shadows/echoes of their former selves. they have sentience and can think independently and even make decisions; they’re not just subject to Deku’s own will. see: the end of Heroes Rising, as well as chapters 193, 213, and 272.

I personally interpret this to mean that the vestiges are actually little pieces of the former user’s souls, who stayed behind in the quirk in order to help guide future users until their mission is finally over. and yeah, I know that sounds a little hokey and ~*~mystical~*~ and the like, but you know what, OFA is just that type of quirk though. like, you don’t have to use the word “souls” if you like -- you can go with “consciousnesses” or “wills” or whatnot instead; whatever suits you -- but the point is just that they’re much, much more than just the lingering resolve of the past users. there’s a lot more going on there.

so now, getting back to the part where I believe that OFA is actually just AFO 2.0, we can start extrapolating some things about the “vestige” that’s currently inside Tomura based on what we know about the vestiges inside Deku. if the same things hold true for the AFO-vestige as the other vestiges, that would mean that the AFO-vestige:

is sentient

has a will of his own

is capable of exercising some measure of control over the quirk, the extent of which is currently unknown

all of which is already cause for concern! BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

because if what Ujiko says about the nature of Tomura’s quirk is true, AFO-vestige... actually might not be a “vestige” at all.

“he took a duplicate of his quirk for himself... and gave the original to Shigaraki Tomura.”

in other words, AFO xeroxed his quirk, had Ujiko inject the dupli-AFO back into him, and then had the original AFO quirk transferred into Tomura. Ujiko is very clear on this point. Tomura has the original, NOT the duplicate.

so what the hell does that mean? well, if we ride this train of logic all the way till the end of the tracks, then what it would mean, as crazy as it sounds, is that AFO transferred his soul into Tomura. and kept only a little, tiny horcrux piece for his own self, in his own debilitated shell of a body.

which sounds crazy! because it is crazy. but (1) quirks are fucking wild, and (2) AFO/OFA is already the wackiest of the wacky as it is. so it’s also kind of a “this might as well happen” thing, imo. like, I can only speak for myself here, but I personally am 100% capable of suspending my disbelief, because it’s consistent with what we’ve seen of the quirk up till this point. the AFO-vestige even looks like the other vestiges; Tomura points out that he “looks like Kurogiri”, which is consistent with the other vestiges’ appearances when we first saw them way back in chapter 31.

and Tomura can hear AFO-vestige in his head in the same way that Deku could hear Lil Bro earlier in this arc.

oh and by the way, now might also be a good time to point out that AFO-vestige also seems to be able to detect his fellow vestige’s presence inside of Deku...

...just like AFO Prime can do.

that has nothing to do with anything; it’s just a fun, creepy fact I felt like throwing out there to remind everyone just how fucking unsettling this all is lmao.

so now I’m almost ready to answer your question, anon, but before I do, one last piece of the puzzle here. you see, I think that the original plan was for AFO to transfer his “soul” into Tomura’s body and take him over completely. we’ve already seen him try to take him over once, so I think this particular theory has some solid ground underneath it.

unfortunately for AFO however, and fortunately for everyone else (including Tomura), things didn’t go 100% according to plan. in fact they only went a very specific % according to plan as it turns out:

so if my thinking on this is correct, what this means among other things is that the AFO-vestige inside Tomura is not the full AFO-soul as intended, but instead only a 75%-AFO-soul. the other 25% got shattered into oblivion by Mirko and Present Mic I guess. and so AFO’s plan to transfer himself into Tomura’s body and emerge fully restored and more powerful than ever has backfired on him, because while he would like to have full control over Tomura, I think we have seen pretty clearly that he does not. Nana’s grandson doesn’t intend to play by his rules. and while I do think that Tomura is still underestimating just how much danger he himself is actually in here -- right now he’s confident that he’s shrugged off his old Sensei’s influence and has gotten rid of it, which I don’t think is actually the case at all -- I think we can already see the cracks starting to form in AFO’s plan, though the full extent of the damage remains to be seen.

anyway! so now getting back to your original question, anon, let me break it down piece by piece:

What do you think happened to AFO after Tomura rejected his vestige? - I think he pretended to go away and is currently just watching to see how Tomura handles this, and will step in again if he feels it’s necessary, or once he has gathered a bit more of his strength (he did only just hatch from his test tube like fifteen minutes ago, so he’s probably still working on that).

Do you think that the AFO vestige is just a copy of his mind, or the transferred consciousness? - I think it’s the transferred consciousness/soul, but only 75% of it.

If it is the former than I’m surprised that he went for it. If it is the later did he temporarily leave his body only to be ejected out of Tomura? - I think they duplicated the quirk first, so original!janky!AFO had two AFO-quirks inside his body, the original and the duplicate. then he transferred the original-AFO (and his soul) to Ujiko, or to an external quirk hard drive, or whatever, leaving only the dupli-AFO quirk -- and the horcrux!soul -- inside his original body. so the AFO we’ve been seeing for the majority of this time has only been a feeble little horcrux version of his former self all along. meanwhile the bulk of his soul has just been chilling inside some hard drive somewhere until Tomura finally transferred it to Tomura’s body. quirks. are. wild.

but here’s the key thing here -- Tomura only thinks he rejected the vestige. but I don’t think he can actually get rid of it unless he gets rid of the entire quirk. it’s a whole package deal. so that means that in reality, vestige!AFO -- who is actually real!AFO lulz -- is just chilling out inside Tomura’s body still, biding his time until opportunity presents itself once again.

tl;dr (1) vestige!AFO is actually real!AFO, (2) real!AFO is still inside Tomura and is fine, (3) janky!AFO’s body is currently housing the actual vestige!AFO and is probably laughing it up in Tartarus watching this all go down via his weird psychic connection to his discarded soul, and (4) Tomura is really deep in the shit and doesn’t even know it yet sob.

oh and also, I’m pretty sure that last part also applies to Deku, who if my calculations are correct also has a piece of AFO’s soul inside of him, because this manga is fucking crazeballs and this shit wasn’t already complicated enough somehow I guess. after all, Deku can sense AFO’s soul and AFO’s soul can sense him. just a whole lotta soul-sensing going on, back and forth. so yeah. I guess we’ll see about that.

anyway! and just for the record I’m loving this all and can’t wait to see how it plays out. also, another unrelated side note, chapter 284 should be out early because Jump is coming out early this week. so it’s likely there will be spoiler leaks released in just a few hours’ time, and the chapter itself will probably come out on Thursday or possibly earlier. so maybe we’ll see some of this either confirmed or disproved even sooner than we think. for all I know this post may only have a few hours to live lmao oh well.

[goldenscript]

Who Are Your Favorite People On Tumblr? They Can Be Friends And Writers. And Why Do You Love Them So?

gosh, i have so many faves on here that i’m so proud to call my friend. i’m sorry if i’ve forgotten anyone though. i can be a bit scatter-brained, like just because i don’t mention someone that doesn’t mean that i don’t love them! just wanted to make that clarification.

edit: i’ve had this in my drafts for ten years so i’m sorry for making the person who asked wait so damn long jskhfkjshf

✗@jungnoir ; i love her for so many reasons, and i don’t think anyone’s a stranger to seeing her on my blog or how much i gush about her, but i swear to you man, she is my ride or die! we go waaaay back, and it still blows my mind that we didn’t get to consistently talking until 2016 over bts and monsta x and this wild world of kpop that we’ve fallen so deeply into now. i’m truly grateful for her always being there for me when i need someone or when i have a meme to share, for being patient with me and having necessary discussions whenever we have a disagreement (which isn’t often), and for being her. she’s really like starlight to me. that brightness in my life especially when it gets hella dark and dreary at night. i love you!!!!!

✗ @boosoonhao ; gosh, it truly amazes me that we’re still friends. i mean that in the best way possible because you are truly incredible to me. even when we forget to respond to mass messages from previous conversations or we go silent for some time, we always manage to fall back into conversation with one another and it’s like no time has passed at all. plus, you’re a huge inspiration to me, and i feel like you’ve inspired a lot of my current writing as of late, and that makes me very happy and grateful. seriously, aj, i love you and i am so thankful to know you.

✗ @wonhopes ; dude, being able to talk to her about anything whether that’s who i’d bang in all my asexual-ness or whatever dumb stuff is happening in my life. ngl, whenever i’m feeling petty, i just talk to her and it feels so damn good to share our hatred of certain people or things happening in the world. she’s just so freaking funny too. i could have the shittiest day and when i get hella messages from her about kihyun or wonho or some petty shit that happened at her work, i’ll just laugh and feel better because then i can just focus on the fact that she’s being a disloyal hoe (when isn’t she a disloyal hoe is a better question tho?). she’s great. 10/10 gal that wonho would bang.      

✗ @taesthetes ; i have so many reasons to love, cat. she’s literally the definition of kindness and all things good in this world. being able to get her snaps and read her messages always makes me smile, and gosh, her humor is the best. 10/10 sarcasm. it’s amazing to me how we came together by that sweet anon who i’m always hoping is doing well, and i just want cat to know that i am very grateful for our friendship because sometimes tumblr can be irksome to me, but seeing her messages or even interacting with her own followers brings a smile to my face. tbh, she inspires me to be kinder, and i’m really grateful to her for that.

✗ @tendershepherd ; there are so many things to love about shep tbh. i think one of the biggest things is that it’s so easy for us to talk about literally anything?? i can’t even remember how we started talking, i just remember us talking and somehow we’re here still talking and i feel even closer to her than before. whether it’s about writing or just weights i need off my shoulders or just sending her a good, ol’ dose of yoonkook, i love that i can hit her up and we’ll have a conversation right then and there. she’s also a fantastic writer who deserves more recognition than she gets and i want her to know that i’ll always be down to read whatever she has cooking up because i know for a fact that it’ll be good - she’s an inspiration to me… thank you.

✗ @cupofteaguk ; GOD, where do i even begin????? this girl is the sweetest, most charming girl ever!!!! i specifically remember gathering enough courage to talk to her about “hopeless hearts” and somehow we wound up talking?? i was on goddamn cloud nine, especially after reading her work and falling more in love with her and all the softness she brought me. i think one of the biggest things i love and appreciate most about traci is how comfortable i feel talking to her about school, writing, and dumb boys that i don’t think i’ll ever forget LOL. freely talking to her about these things just… gives me a lot of comfort and i hope she knows how much i appreciate her for it.

✗ @ixiia ; damn, where do i begin with meeks? she’s one of my biggest enablers on this damn website, who will not hesitate to send me those damn side eyes emoji followed be a “do it,” before proceeding to ask me to spill the tea on whatever idea’s going through my head. i love that. i love her. she’s hella fun to talk to and that kinda person i easily click with. she always hypes me up and she feeds me with all the drama from her damn kids. gotta love ‘em though (especially saint…. but you didn’t hear that from me!!!).

✗ @gentleknj ; MY MOONBEAM. THE KINDEST, MOST LOVING GAL I KNOW. WHO I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF TALKING TO AND GETTING TO KNOW. goodness gracious, i don’t even think it’s been that long since we started talking and yet??? she has undoubtedly become one of my favorite people on here to talk to. we can talk imaginary dates with our men, horror movies, and just about life in general and i just?? i love that. i love being able to get to know someone and to just vibe with them, and it’s exactly that with her.

✗ @kihyussy ; this……girl…….. once told me she would eat sand for me. can you BELIEVE???? i was both in awe and baffled, but oh so touched because ria is literally a fucking angel to me, and i am so happy that we started talking and continue to talk. she’s funny, hot, sweet, and so fucking talented with her writing. i know it’s been a minute since she posted but i swear to god she has some masterpieces cooking in that creative brain of hers.

✗ @lilchims ; wowie, i know it’s been a minute since we’ve last talked but i swear to you i’ve never met someone i’ve vibed with as well as i’ve vibed with this girl. she’s so fun to hang with and just so goddamn chill like i really do thank whoever’s out there writing my story for letting us talk that one late ass night because it’s really been a blessing to me. thank you for existing and for just being such a down ass chick. ily!!!!!!!!!

and i can’t forget,

✗ @-happytbh- ; honestly, faye, i’m so grateful for you. every time i receive a snap from you, it’s like my own moment of happiness just to forget whatever else is happening because you always have something exciting to share! you’re really sweet and i’m just so happy that we’re friends, okay? you’re always thinking of me when you see stitch things, you drew me a beautiful painting, and you even sent me some wonderful goodies in that package you sent! i hope that the universe only treats you kindly, because you of all people deserve that.

[yourghastlycloseness]

letters of recommendation will be the death of me

ngl i sometimes watch these videos of people succeeding in life by that i mean they do things beyond their comfort zone and i don’t mind this in a cliche way rather i’m someone who places a lot of importance on lived experiences because i want to live wild fast reckless but lmao the truth is i am anxious is fuck and anxiety - mostly social - holds me back from doing a lot of the things i want to do and then i think about how i should work on overcoming anxiety but it seems like an insurmountable task because i am 25 and i have never gotten better and i may never get better despite what my goblin psychiatrist once told me as he sat there with those long pointy ears and that misshapen head features i have come to find endearing even if the man is closer to an android than human and maybe that’s the way i like my humans - the more android, the better - i’m just typing this because i feel stuck. thought jet would be way out of this city and was ready to fill in the application form and prepare the application packages but then i see ‘2 letters of reference’ on the checklist and i just can’t bring myself to ask anyone to fucking recommend me for this thing and then i think is it because my ambition isn’t enough to override the shame i would feel about selling myself or ‘putting myself out there’ honestly i have a hard time with this and it’s the reason why i put off searching for a job upon graduation from uni while everyone else was applying during their final semester i only got around to it a few months after taking my final exam but i guess we count from my actual graduation date right? which would be july and i only got this job in oct so that means i spent 3-5 months looking for work and i don’t want to go through that again, the whole process of sitting at a conference table and being sized up a panel of interviewers who may or may not be horrible people -- sometimes they surprise with their kindness or amicability -- but that said your socio-economic future lies in their hands because if they say no that’s out you go begging at the doorsteps of 100 other corporations and organizations to please give you a monthly salary but then when they do you fucking hate your life and your work and forgot how miserable you felt when you were looking for a job and it felt like you were always free-falling and with no one to catch you or point you in the right direction in school you took well-meaning teachers and counsellors for granted and these are the only people who care or at least pretend that they do because outside of that the world will eat you up if you let it so you watch every step you take, look behind you every 500m, and somehow manage to keep your eyes peeled to the ground to scan for traps, just to make sure you haven’t walked into its jaws i’m stuck and i want out but each time i reach for something new i find that it never makes me a happier person because what’s wrong is that i’m fucked on the inside and wired in such a way that i only ever know how to oscillate from a state of sheer panic and anxiety to one of stale melancholia, the stench of these tears, and in typing this post to get shit off my chest i have proven that i am exactly the person they aren’t looking for i’ve seen a trend -- they want sunshine genki girls who love to talk or at least feel comfortable doing so and will we always need letters of recommendation for everything we do? for a masters prog? for this JET prog? ok now that i’ve aired my grievances the rational thing to do would be to ask my bosses for these letters and have them write them in such a way that they can be reused and are general enough to be used for other applications but also all documents have to be submitted in a month’s time and that really isn’t enough prep time for my bosses but more seriously one perk of taking jp language classes would be having a sensei write a letter of rec for you in japanese and consider also that some applicants take 4 tries before they got in and actually did volunteer work and learnt japanese and signed up for wwoof to beef up their resume and what do i have nothing but a real dearth of lived experience and i have the audacity to dream about making it into this prog lol fat chance