#some honorable mentions that didnt make this cut cause their oh woah woahs were too short:

[loud-whistling-yes]

Oh woah woah definition: a part of a crane wives song that has no meaningful words other than extended "oh woah woah"s to convey vibes

With that new definition, and now that beyond beyond beyond is finally announced, fellas....

[bechloetoxicgirls]

Canyon Moon Chapter 1

Fat Amy POV: I walked out of my car with Beca behind me. I had on my sunglasses and I put my hand over my face to block the hot sun from my eyes. “This is it girls,” I said as three more girls rose from the car behind me. Jessica and Ashley rolled out of the trunk groaning. “This is pretty cool, I guess” said Beca half-heartedly. Beca had been really upset upon receiving the invitation to Chloe and Chicago’s wedding and all of us had been named bridesmaids. To everyone’s surprise, Aubrey was the maid of honor and not Beca which only made things more awkward between Chloe and Beca. When they were in college and afterwards too they were roommates. I noticed how close they were so I gave them plenty of room to hang out but once Chloe started dating Chicago, things got tense and Beca started distancing herself from Chloe. Chloe’s invitation came out of the blue in sparkly pink handwriting. I pretended not to notice that night when I heard Beca’s sobs.

“This is a really nice spot 👌 for a wedding,” said Jessica. “Though it is hot as hell!”

“Yeah”, replied Ashley, “but not as hot as Chicago! I can see why Chloe picked him!”

Unfortunately, this was when Beca chose to walk into the conversation. She winced at the mention of Chicago’s name and stared despondently into the distance.

Beca POV

I’ve been dreading this day. Chloe is going to marry a dimwitted airhead because like all straight girls, her taste is absolute garbage. She probably thinks young Joe Biden is hot. I just hope that I can hold it together during the ceremony. Thank God Chloe asked Aubrey to be the maid of honor. I don’t think I could take it, having to give a toast to their happy future when all I really want to toast to is my marriage with her. I’m not even sure if I can stand being a bridesmaid. (I’ll just have to channel my inner Taylor Swift and pretend to be straight.)

I am 5'10 suck it lindsey <becqa is like 5’ 2”>fake news probably from salty lindsey

“Ready to go?” Asked Amy, “we’re grabbing lunch with Chloe and the rest of the gurlz at Chipotle”

I snapped out of my reverie to reply, “sure, yeah, sounds good,” but my mind was still filled with thoughts of chloe.

Chloe POV

I take a deep breath before walking into the restaurant. This is the first time all the girlz are together in 3 years and I don’t know what to expect. Mostly, I was worried about Beca. She’s grown more and more distant over the past few years, despite my constant texts and invitations to meet up. After I announced my engagement, she stopped replying at all, so I had to choose Aubrey as my maid of honor, which has gone exactly the way I expected. COMPLETE bridezilla.

Someone clears their throat behind my and I jump, realizing I’m blocking the door. I skitter like a rat out of the way, apologizing, but the person doesn’t move. I finally look up and see Beca staring at me.

“Hey” Beca mutters and pushes past me.

“Hewwo?” I call after her, confused. Is she mad at me?

Before I can run after her, Aubrey appears next to me so suddenly I feel sure that she has teleported and it makes me jump.

“Why aren’t you getting ready for the rehearsal dinner?” She asks me forcefully. “I specifically told you half an hour ago to go to your room and change because the dinner will be starting at any moment but you’ve just been standing here lingering by the door.” I wasn’t processing what she was saying because my thoughts were elsewhere but I made out that I was supposed to go to my room.

I went to my hotel room across the street with my head filled with the way Beca had just brushed past me like I didn’t even matter. When I got back to my room, I laid down on my bed and cried until my head hurt and I was exhausted. I let my eyes close and allowed myself to forget about Beca in my dreams. Or so I thought.

It’s the day of the wedding. I look in the mirror and sigh. Yes, I look stunning and my hot bod fits perfectly in my dress, but it’s for the wrong person. Chicago is great, but I just don’t feel passionate about him. All our conversations feel like small talk.

“Ready?! You have to hurry, the wedding is starting!” Aubrey screeched. I rubbed my ears(which are quickly losing their use to her obnoxious voice) and got up. I resisted a last look in the mirror-I didn’t need to see my miserable expression again-and headed out of the room.

As I walked to the hall(what’s the main part of a church called? I know i’m a fake christian), I tried to amp myself up. This wouldn’t be so bad. I need to get over Beca anyways, she’s happy with tort boi, sad as that makes me. Chicago is loving and kind and he loves me, and as for me, well, I’ll just fake it till I make it. I walked down the aisle oblivious to my surroundings, but when I looked up at my groom, Beca was there, looking gorgeous in a tailored dress. She always did have good taste.

“Why are you here? Where’s Chicago?” I asked, stunned into oblivion.

“Why would you need him? You know I’m all you need. We are aca-perfect,” she replied, her voice soothing. Too soothing. And since when was Beca so forthright and mystical? I opened my mouth to jumble together a response, but all that came out was

“Chloe! You are drooling all over my bed! Nap on your side, puh-leAse!”

Ugh. So it was a dream. Aubrey was still deafening though. I guess that’s the very essence of her soul.

“Anyways, you can’t be napping, you’re the woman of the hour! Tonight is the rehearsal wedding, and everything has to be perfect!” she snapped again, her pinched mouth reminiscent of a snapping turtle. Huh. Maybe she and Theoi should get together.

That line of thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so, with a Herculean effort, I got out of bed, grimaced at the drooled-on pillow, and went to get ready.

Chicago POV

I can’t believe I’ve let it get this far. I mean who knew that when I saw a pretty girl touring with her failing a capella group, it would last this long? And now I don’t know how to get out. But I have to.

I threw off the sheets and rolled out of bed, shivering because Chloe had turned up the AC so high, but she didn’t even stay the night. Our hotel had lots of pictures (over 12) of the Grand Canyon, despite being an almost hour drive away. I tried to picture us saying our vows with the beautiful red rocks in the pictures behind us, but it just didn’t sit right. I knew I had to do something.

I took a quick piss outside (I don’t believe in modern plumbing), and decided to call Chloe.

She picked up the second time I called her, sounding half asleep even though it was already eleven.

“What?” She asked urgently, as though something was wrong.

“Uh, nothing, i was just wondering where you were since you didn’t come back last night.”

“Oh! I just, uh, decided to spend some time with the old gal pals. You know, catch up on life and stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Um… okay,” I said, even though I did understand, because she was just talking to her friends, “are you coming back soon? I kind of want to talk.”

“Yeah sure,” she responded, but seemed distracted by something (or someone) else, because she abruptly said, “catch you later,” and hung up.

I knew we had to talk about our future, because even though she was excited about the friends, and the food, and the planning, I felt, I knew, she was just a little bit less excited about me. This marriage was not going to end in divorce 6 months later if I could help it, so my options are call it off right now, or fake it till we make it. And I think the second option was going to be a little bit harder, so I decided the stronger one of us would have to do something (and I am stronger because I am in the army).

Beca POV

I can’t stop thinking about that moment with Chloe. Seeing her after so long, it all came back to me, no matter how much I’d tried to repress it. Her constant peppy texting had caused me a mental breakdown every time I got a notification. It got to be too much and I had to give her a random number from a burner phone to text instead, like I did with Theo. When I saw her at the restaurant I just froze and couldn’t speak. Also she yelled hewwo and I didnt like that.

Now I’m trying to get ready for the rehearsal dinner, but this dress is uuuuugly. I’m pretty sure Aubrey picked it out because she hates me more than usual recently. The dress is also really tight, too tight to breathe. I give up on making it look nice and cut it crudely down the front with scissors. Hopefully no one will notice. I see that I’m late for the dinner and run out of my room, straight into Theo, the turtle man.

“W.T.F.?!?! What are you doing here?” I demand, angry that he’s slowing me down.

“Woah, heh heh, why are you so worked up?”

I practice my Miss Congeniality self defense - Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin - and step over him curled up on the floor like a grub.

As I run away from his body on the ground, I turn a corner and run straight into a hotel attendant in the hallway. She staggers a little and almosts trips but I catch her by grabbing her arm to steady her. “Oh I’m so sorry!” I say and she smiles at me.

“That’s okay,” she says and I smile back. She frowns and says “are you okay?” I turn serious and say “ummm… yeah.. Why?”

“It’s just that your smile looks more like a grimace and your dress is all cut up,” and I flinch at because she was right and I wasn’t doing okay. “Do you have a minute? I ask and when she nods, I unload everything I had been feeling lately and about how I really felt about Chloe and how I really felt about this wedding.

“I am so sorry for you,” she said, placing her hand on my arm and rubbing it. “Do you need anything?”

“Actually, yeah,” I say hesitantly to her because I was worried my new friend would be scared off at my request. “Do you think you could walk me to my dinner?”

She smiles and says, “Of course,” Taking my hand, she says “I’m Sophia, by the way.”

“Beca” I say and we walk hand in hand down the hallway of the hotel.

Chloe POV

yeetmsaaaaaAAAaaa chaotic writer, i am, the universe’s power, i Have aaayyyyeeee

I’m at the rehearsal dinner, some snooty restaurant that Aubrey picked. You’d think she’s the one getting married, with the amount of planning she’s put into this. Annoying as she is, I cannot deny that she is dedicated to making my ‘best’ day perfect. Sadly, she can’t change the fact that the person I’m marrying is in no way perfect for me.

Don’t think like that, I reminded myself. You need to fake it till you make it.

“Chloe?” called Chicago, “Can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure-,” I replied halfheartedly, since Beca had just walked in with another girl. They were holding hands and looked friendly. Too friendly. Wasn’t she with Theo? Too many emotions flooded into my mind-sphere and I recoiled from the shock. Had they broken up? I repressed the joy I felt from that thought. It probably wasn’t true, and besides, she was with someone else anyways. But I always thought she was straight… No she was probably just friends with this girl, you know how normal american girlz act… But if she was with this girl, was she cheating on Theo? Should I let him know or let the relationship fall apart on its own? Was this a short fling? Would-

“Chloe! You all right?” asked Chicago, concerned. I shook my head, muttered a “yeah, fine” and followed him off to one of the changing rooms.

“Sorry about this, I wanted to talk somewhere… private,” he explained in a low tone.

Private? What was that supposed to mean? He wasn’t trying to…

“There’s no easy way to put this. But I… this isn’t working. And I’m sorry I’ve let our relationship get this far, but… It was so easy to get carried away. I just don’t feel passion for you,” Chicago said, his face a perfect picture of apology and shame.

Oh thank god, he wanted to break up. I let out a short laugh, which might have not been the best thing to do.

“Sorry,” I quickly replied, “It’s just… I’m relieved. I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s been a while since I’ve felt more than friendliness towards you. At least we didn’t get married yet!”

“Well what’re we gonna do? Call off the wedding obviously, but we’ve prepped so much!”

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could get more than an “I aca-completely agree wi-” when Aubrey burst through the door. Jesus Mary and Joseph, she really couldn’t have had worse timing!

“Aca-excuse me?! What is going on here?! Do you seriously want to call off my perfectly planned wedding!!!” she shrieked, surely letting the whole wedding party hear our issues.

“Ahhhh!” I screamed at her. “Aubrey! I don’t have time for you to make this all about you! Just because you will never find someone who loves you doesn’t mean that you get to make this all about you!” Her face looked shocked and I stormed out of the restaurant.

I looked out in the horizon and saw the stunning view of the Grand Canyon beneath me. I had always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and had wanted all of my wedding pictures to have the stunning view in the background because I love nature and it was extraordinary that the Earth made this over thousands of years. Amazing. I wanted to get a closer look so I began to walk towards the canyon.

Soon, I heard footsteps following me and I turned to see Beca chasing after me. My stomach fluttered. She ran until she was about 6 feet away from me and we looked in each others’ eyes for what felt like five minutes. I was waiting for her to tell me she loves me but I knew she never would because she loved Theo or that girl she was holding hands with or something. Instead I said “Do you want to walk with me?” She nodded silently and we walked towards the canyon together.

When we finally reached it we stood at the edge overlooking it, staring at it in silence and then she turned to me and leaned in to kiss me. I was so scared that I staggered back and before I knew it I was falling, hitting tree after tree and rock after rock. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Beca screaming “CHLOE!” and jumping in after me.

Follow me for updates and like if you have an opinion on it. Comment your criticisms and praise. I’m open to anything.