#some good oldfashioned fae nonsense right here

[laurasimonsdaughter]

@parthikleon left this comment on my Fae PSA:

After the humans learned this there were increased cases of humans being arrested for sitting at a banquet table in a fae circle in a forest, banging pans together and screaming "IT WOULD BE A SHAME IS SOMEONE WAS TO KIDNAP ME, IAN MCKELLEN, BUT IF IT HAPPENED I WOULD BE FINE WITH IT".

So...

“No, listen, you’re not under arrest, but I do need you to stop.” The officer repressed the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. It had been a long night. “Look- Ian McKellen, was it?”

“Yes, and no, no relation,” her charge replied sullenly.

She glanced back at her colleague who was patiently standing a little ways away, helpfully holding up a light, but as usual declining to step inside the mushroom circle. “Right. Can I call you Ian?”

The young man shrugged and half nodded. He looked positively crestfallen.

“You gotta understand, Ian, this sort of stuff happens a lot here. Drives the residents crazy. And all this dragging tables around is not great for the forest.”

“I just… I thought it work,” Ian muttered.

“Mm,” she hummed understandingly. “Had someone specific in mind?”

A faint ripple of embarrassment coloured red under his stubble. “I mean, I hear someone sing sometimes.”

“I see. In that case—” She took out her notebook. “Would you be willing to show me some identification? Just to save me some paperwork later.”

“Okay...?”

The officer quickly copied the info on his ID card and handed it back to him. “Now, anyone likely to report you missing within 72 hours? People tend to forget to send a message home before the third sunrise.”

Ian blinked at her. “Um, my cousins. But they know.”

Well, that was encouraging at least. “Brilliant. Just in case, if you could give me a way to contact either of them?” She offered him the notepad.

“Why though?” he demanded, pen hovering above the paper. “It’s clearly not happening.”

“Hm-hm,” the officer hummed. “Got dressed in a bit of a hurry this morning? In all the excitement?”

This time he gaped in confusion. “I don’t see why you—”

“You’ve got your sweater on inside out.”

His eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, so if you could just…”

He hastily scrawled down a name and phone number, colour rising further onto his cheeks, and gave the notepad back.

“Thank you, that’s going to make everything a lot easier.” She tucked the pad away. “Now, my colleague and I will give you a moment, but please. No more screaming in the woods.”

“Yes, ma’am!” It clearly took him all his self-control not to pull his sweater up over his head already.

She smiled and turned around. She had barely stepped outside the fairy circle when the familiar rush of wind swooped down behind her and the moonlight pouring down from above flickered for a moment.

When she looked over her shoulder, the circle was empty. Apart from the laughter at the edge of her hearing. And that damn banquet table they would have to have removed. Again. She sighed and shook her head. Honestly. She couldn’t wait for the day the fae figured out dating apps.