#some bits are actually quite humorous?

[amazinglyashy]

Too heavy for me? Never

LADS men reaction to you only somewhat joking about being too heavy for them

Sylus -

He'll raise an eyebrow at you, staring down at you as you realize the joke fell flat. You try to back peddle, not wanting to cause any confrontation that never helps you feel better about your body anyway, but he simply holds up a hand to stop you with a shake of his head.

"I don't want to hear it, sweetie. I already know the nonsense you're going to say. How about you just come with me right now to the gym instead?"

You don't know how to tell him that saying that truly shattered your heart into a million pieces, so you just follow him in silence instead. You didn't think he would insult you so casually, and you were now trying to brace yourself for the inadequate feelings and self-loathing you were about to experience by having to train at the gym with him.

But... he didn't ask you to do a workout. He didn't tell you to get on a piece of equipment or to lie down on a mat for a physical exercise.

He told you to sit on a small bench against the wall while he went to the free weights close by.

Wordlessly, he loads weights- two- no, three times your weight onto the bar, before moving to lift it. Once. Twice. Again, and again and again-

His eyes flicker over to you at some point, and instead of making any remark or reference to the emotions clear across your face, he flashes you a slight smirk, just like he always does.

"Have I made myself clear, sweetie?"

Zayne -

Zayne will definitely think you're just pretending to be stupid at first.

He will look down at you with his brows furrowed and a small smile creeping on his lips, thinking it's all a joke.

"I lift myself during my workouts fairly easily, and I am capable of lifting a lot more. Quite funny, though I wouldn't make this form of humor a habit. It isn't particularly good for your mental health."

Then he realizes you're actually being serious in what you're saying.

He's upset, to put it lightly, but hes trying not to let it show. Favoring a small frown across his usually firm expression as he studies your face. Your heart will jolt just a little bit when you process just how sad his eyes look though... obviously he's hurt that you would even think something like that about yourself, much less come to believe it as true.

"Allowing a part of your brain to lie to you is not healthy if you don't push back with the truth. And the truth here, is that you are nowhere near too heavy for me to lift or carrying, even for prolonged periods of time. To demonstrate-"

And like it's nothing, he's picking you up and carrying you. His destination is not important, and the protests spewing from your lips fall on deaf ears as you try to gentle squirm out of his grasp. He'll continue to explain why your viewpoint is flawed, methodically and with logic, and in a way that you find yourself unable to argue back.

He doesn't want you to.

He knows you're wrong, and he will stop at nothing to prove it.

Xavier -

He's more surprised at the statement than anything. At first, he thinks you're making a jab at his strength, and wonders if he slipped up in front of one too many Wanderers and now needs to prove himself just to get you to stop teasing him for being 'weak'.

Once he (quickly) realizes that you're talking about yourself, jabbing at your own body and state, rather than at him, it's like a spark igniting in him.

"What? What would ever make you think that? No- that's not right. That's not right at all."

He's immediately going to try and grab you to lift you up, he doesn't care where you both are or what you're doing. Even if you've just woken up in bed and are still relaxing, he's trying to pick you up right then and there.

He stumbles trying to lift you, falling backward onto the pile of blankets and plushies that has taken over his bed. He feels awful, worried that you'll take his misstep as him falling over from your weight, immediately apologizing and trying to sit up and pick you up again before falling forward from the plush surface he's trying to rise on giving out too much beneath him.

You're both a giggling mess by then, and it's obvious to you that he's going to keep trying to prove it to you, just... a bit clumsily so. Several more attempts will be made as the evening goes on, and pretty soon he's showing you just how easily it is for him to lift you up- especially if he keeps doing it over and over and over again.

And he will continue to do it over and over and over again, even after today. As many times as it takes.

Rafayel -

You definitely made a mistake saying anything self-depreciating around him. Especially with how much he likes to prove you wrong in playful situations, this is something similar, but a lot more serious to him.

He'll make fun of you for anything, as long as you know he's just being lighthearted even if he's grumpy or upset when he fires a quip off at you.

But the second you agree with him, or say something bad about yourself- whether jokingly or dead serious- the gloves are off. He won't accept that from you, and he's already on it to figure out how to turn the opinion you've formed of yourself on it's head and into a more positive outlook.

Lifts you up bridal carry while spinning- quite literally sweeping you off your feet while he whisks you away. You would think you were a princess with how he spins around his studio with you in his arms, with no regard to the paintings or projects around him as he dances with you in his arms. And no matter how hard you protest, he doesn't stop until he feels for himself that he's done enough, giggling the entire time.

"Are you really going to doubt a sea god's strength? Geez, I didn't realize you were such a rude human."

He'll hold you up enough to press his forehead against yours, nuzzling against you with a smile, the slightest sadness playing across his expression.

"Man, I must be pretty lousy that you would ever think something like that about yourself. That must mean I don't think to pick you up enough like you deserve. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you by whisking you away every chance I see you from now on."

[landoughnut]

Pit Stop Staring

♡ masterlist - request

♡ pairing - lando norris x mechanic!fem!reader

♡ summary - lando notices you during a pit stop, gets distracted and stares at you, and embarrasses himself on the radio being aired as he gushes over you, but with a little push from Zak, he makes his move on you!

♡ warnings - fluff, BLUSHY and nervous lando, love at first sight, a pinch of jealousy, Zak's a wing man, lando being cute and STUTTERINGGG hehehe

♡ w/c & a/n - 1.86k | #ilovetommy

Today was your first day working as a mechanic during an actual race, and you couldn't be more excited. You'd just finished your months of training and you felt pretty confident in yourself, so you weren't too nervous.

The McLaren team was more than welcoming when you first started, although some were a little apprehensive to have a girl working with the heavy tires, you proved them completely wrong and quickly gained their admiration, making friends with some as well.

As for the two papaya drivers, you had only briefly met Oscar about a month ago while leaving a meeting. He told you he was happy to be working with you soon, and he thought you will do amazing. You spoke shortly before he was being called off by someone, but he said goodbye and wished you best of luck.

The other driver, Lando, you had unfortunately not met yet. You heard quite a lot about him, and people said he was kind with a great sense of humor, so you crossed your fingers and wished you were able to catch him and introduce yourself. You also had seen some edits of him on your feed, not that you would tell anyone that, but you couldn't deny that he was quite a looker.

Back to today, though, you were waiting to see the bright papaya cars pull into the pit stop for their tire exchanges. After some laps, the first one to pull up was Oscar, and you and the others quickly got to work with a successful change in just about 2 seconds.

You beamed as he drove away and got a high five from your mechanic friend, Tommy, and he grinned at you, "That was great! And your first time too! You'll be putting me out of my job soon," he laughs.

You shake your head and poke his side, walking back to the garage, "Don't be silly! I did learn from the best," you say and give him a dramatic wink.

"Ha. Ha. You flatter me," he pats your head. You just push his arm away and turn your head to look at the race stats.

Oscar is in a good fourth place currently, and Lando in second, four seconds behind Max. You watch the race for about three more minutes before you hear that Lando was told to box next lap, so you and the mechanics rush out to the pit once again and prepare your gear.

A few moments pass before you can spot Lando's bright helmet in his car coming closer. He finally arrives and pulls up into his spot, while doing so, he glances around and his eyes land on you.

His mouth drops open slightly and he whispers a little, "Wow." Everyone does his tire change just as fast as Oscars, but Lando was still staring at you, who he thinks might be an angel sent down from above just for him.

Wow, he thinks to himself again, you have to be the most gorgeous person he's ever seen. He doesn't even realize that everyone has cleared the way for him to exit the stop until he sees you tilt your head and he hears his race engineer's voice, "Lando! GO! What are you doing, mate?!"

That snaps Lando back to reality, and he quickly drives away, now in last place due to how long he was there. He feels his neck and cheeks heat up in embarrassment. There's no way he would have a chance with you after that.

"I-I'm so sorry, she was s-so beautiful, and she looks like an a-angel, I-I got distracted," he stutters quietly to Will, his race engineer.

"Oh my- Lando this is being aired, you can't say stuff like that, mate!" Will sighs but he can't help but laugh a little bit. However Lando does the opposite now, he chews his lip like he's about to cry of humility, since now he knows you just heard him say that and you were the only girl there, so you know he had to be talking about you.

Back to where you were, you laughed at the radio message, curious to who he was stuttering over. Tommy's eyes bulge as he hears it, head whipping toward you.

You look at him and furrow your eyebrows, "What?"

He just blinds at you before yelling, "Lando Norris said you're beautiful! And look like an angel!"

"What? No he didn't?"

"Are you- who else would he be talking about?!" Tommy puts his hands on your shoulder and gently shakes you.

"Uhh," you laugh and glance at the other mechanics who are smirking and you and raising their eyebrows up and down. "I don't know, there are some women team members right over there," you point to the side.

Tommy just drops his head down and shakes it, "No. He was talking about you!"

"But.. I'm.. well, me? Just an average new mechanic," you look down at your uniform, "in some very unflattering working clothes."

Tommy just steps back and crosses his arms, "First off, don't ever say you're 'just you', because you're my best friend here," he whispers, so the others won't hear him, and you giggle. "Second, the clothes may be a little unflattering but you're still a very pretty girl," he smiles at you.

"Awhhhhh, Tommy! Who knew you were such a sap!" You hug the boy in thanks and he reciprocates it as you walk to the garage once again.

"So are you going to ask him out later?"

You almost choke on your breath, "What? No! Of course not! Are you crazy?"

He rolls his eyes, "Come on, he was just stuttering. Lando Norris was stuttering over you, if that isn't love at first sight then I don't know what is," he shrugs.

"Tommy!" You slap his arm, "We are done with this conversation."

"But-"

"End of discussion!" You huff, turning on your heels and walk away. Leaving your friend to rub his face in defeat.

When the race ended with Lando placed seventh due to the mishap from before, he hopped out of the car and rushed over to Zak.

Zak pulls the boy in for a hug and ruffles his hair, which was quite the opposite reaction Lando had thought he would see, since he cost the team points.

Once he lets go of Lando, the only thing he gets out of his mouth is, "Who was that?"

Zak lets out a laugh and tries to keep in a grin, "Who? Her?" he nods over to you, standing while chatting with Tommy again. Lando frowns as he watches you two.

"Are they dating?" he asks the older man.

"Hmm," he pretends to think about it, "yes," he nods. Of course he's only kidding, trying the get a rise out of the British boy.

"What?" Lando's head snaps to the man, looking utterly devastated. Zak starts laughing loudly, looking at him, and thinks this is what the human version of a kicked puppy would look like.

"I'm only joking, buddy, why don't you go and ask her?" Zak pats Lando's shoulder.

"U-uh I don't know...."

"Oh, come on! You're Lando Norris!"

The boy sighs and looks at you longingly. That was until you glanced over at him and he quickly turned back to Zak, his face now turning red again at being caught. "What about no work relationships?"

Zak sighs and shakes his head, "Listen, I'll talk to people about it and I'll make it work, okay?" He smiles and Lando lets his lips twitch into a tiny smile. "Now, go get your girl!" He turns his shoulders and pushes him forward a little bit.

Lando blinks fast and his heart races as he nervously makes his way over to you two.

You don't notice but Tommy does and bites back a teasing comment. "Lando Norris! The legendary man himself!"

You look to your right and see the boy bouncing slightly on his feet, twisting his hands and he looks back and forth between you both. "H-hi," he whispers to you, his ears turning red at your kind gaze.

"Hi! It's nice to finally meet you," you smile at him.

Tommy nods, "Yeah, and nice radio message today, man, real smooth," he chuckles.

Unbeknownst to you, Lando now wishes the floor would swallow him whole. "Uh, y-yeah, thanks?"

Tommy just laughs, "Oh! I think someone is calling me, gotta go!"

You watch him walk away, and Lando glares at him. "Did you hear someone calling him?" you ask.

"No, but, um, I-I'm sorry for today, a-and I didn't-"

You quickly shake your head and smile, "No! Don't apologize, really! I'm honored!" You put your hand on his arm, causing him to tense. You quickly remove it and apologize, "I'm so sorry! I should have asked-"

"N-No!" Lando says, and Zak drops his head into his hands as he watches the scene from afar. "You can touch me anytime! I-I mean- bloody hell- n-not like that! I mean you can if you wa-" he slaps a hand over his mouth before he can embarrass himself and more.

You just blush as you watch the boy, you find it endearing, to be honest, you've never had someone act like this with you before. "Lando! Please, don't worry, I think your rambling is cute, and... you yourself are cute too," you put your hands behind your back.

"Me? Really? You think I'm c-cute?" He lets out a nervous laugh in disbelief.

"Is that so hard to believe?" You frown.

"I... guess not.. but you're.. you! W-way out of my league..." he trails off.

"You have to be joking!"

He just looks down at his feet and smiles, his body slowly untensing as he feels a little less nervous. It's not that he's stuttering and blushing because he's scared of you, he's just never met someone so... perfect.

He slowly raises his eyes back up to look at you, "Well... then would you m-maybe want to... get dinner with me later?"

Your smile widens at the hopeful look in his eyes, you pinch your arm once, just to be sure this is really happening and not a dream. "Of course! Oh, I'd love to, would you like my number to send me the details?" you ask him.

He nods and pats his pocket for his phone, "Oh! I left my phone in my driver's room... but if you have yours, I'll give you mine?"

"Sure," you nod and hand him your phone, watching as he creates a contact for himself. "Well, I do have to go back, I promised my friends to hang out for a bit after the race but I'll see you later," you tell him.

He smiles at you, "Alright, see you!"

You turn around, walking to your friends who were giggling to themselves, watching the whole thing.

Lando is left in his spot, practically lovestruck, "What a woman," he whispers to himself dreamily.

He jumps with a yelp when he feels a hand on his shoulder, "Well done, kid! You got yourself a date!"

Lando turns to look at a way too excited Zak Brown, "Yeah... I suppose I did."

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Terry Pratchett about fantasy ❤

Terry Pratchett interview in The Onion, 1995 (x)

O: You’re quite a writer. You’ve a gift for language, you’re a deft hand at plotting, and your books seem to have an enormous amount of attention to detail put into them. You’re so good you could write anything. Why write fantasy?

Terry: I had a decent lunch, and I’m feeling quite amiable. That’s why you’re still alive. I think you’d have to explain to me why you’ve asked that question.

O: It’s a rather ghettoized genre.

Terry: This is true. I cannot speak for the US, where I merely sort of sell okay. But in the UK I think every book— I think I’ve done twenty in the series— since the fourth book, every one has been one the top ten national bestsellers, either as hardcover or paperback, and quite often as both. Twelve or thirteen have been number one. I’ve done six juveniles, all of those have nevertheless crossed over to the adult bestseller list. On one occasion I had the adult best seller, the paperback best-seller in a different title, and a third book on the juvenile bestseller list. Now tell me again that this is a ghettoized genre.

O: It’s certainly regarded as less than serious fiction.

Terry: (Sighs) Without a shadow of a doubt, the first fiction ever recounted was fantasy. Guys sitting around the campfire— Was it you who wrote the review? I thought I recognized it— Guys sitting around the campfire telling each other stories about the gods who made lightning, and stuff like that. They did not tell one another literary stories. They did not complain about difficulties of male menopause while being a junior lecturer on some midwestern college campus.

Fantasy is without a shadow of a doubt the ur-literature, the spring from which all other literature has flown. Up to a few hundred years ago no one would have disagreed with this, because most stories were, in some sense, fantasy. Back in the middle ages, people wouldn’t have thought twice about bringing in Death as a character who would have a role to play in the story. Echoes of this can be seen in Pilgrim’s Progress, for example, which hark back to a much earlier type of storytelling. The epic of Gilgamesh is one of the earliest works of literature, and by the standard we would apply now— a big muscular guys with swords and certain godlike connections— That’s fantasy. The national literature of Finland, the Kalevala. Beowulf in England. I cannot pronounce Bahaghvad-Gita but the Indian one, you know what I mean. The national literature, the one that underpins everything else, is by the standards that we apply now, a work of fantasy.

Now I don’t know what you’d consider the national literature of America, but if the words Moby Dick are inching their way towards this conversation, whatever else it was, it was also a work of fantasy. Fantasy is kind of a plasma in which other things can be carried. I don’t think this is a ghetto. This is, fantasy is, almost a sea in which other genres swim. Now it may be that there has developed in the last couple of hundred years a subset of fantasy which merely uses a different icongraphy, and that is, if you like, the serious literature, the Booker Prize contender. Fantasy can be serious literature. Fantasy has often been serious literature. You have to fairly dense to think that Gulliver’s Travels is only a story about a guy having a real fun time among big people and little people and horses and stuff like that. What the book was about was something else. Fantasy can carry quite a serious burden, and so can humor. So what you’re saying is, strip away the trolls and the dwarves and things and put everyone into modern dress, get them to agonize a bit, mention Virginia Woolf a few times, and there! Hey! I’ve got a serious novel. But you don’t actually have to do that.

(Pauses) That was a bloody good answer, though I say it myself.

[i-like-loserz]

discord calls

pairing: gamer!yunho x reader

cw: slight angst/fluff, afab!reader, teasing/banter, light flirting, online relationship/long-distance friendship, crush denial, voice kink? (NO BUT THIS FIC IS PG), gamer tag usage (yunho -> yunnie/yunz, reader -> blue/bluey), e-boy!yunho, smitten!reader, jealousy, e-girl side character, valorant (yes it deserves a warning), swiftplay slander, realistic discord + online interactions...(this one is text msg heavy!)

wc: 3.0k

note: so i, too, play valorant (peak plat 2 lol)... wouldn't it be interesting to have e-boy!yunho as a duo? i'm not sure if this one will resonate as well with you guys, but i hope you still enjoy it. especially those who game!

masterlist

---

you were never the type who sought an online relationship, especially with someone you met in valorant of all places.

the game is literally known for its oversaturation of e-boys looking for their e-kittens (even when they've only peaked gold 1). look, it's a nice change of pace from usual ultra-misogynistic games like league or cod (call of duty), but it presents a whole different set of issues for girls.

but there's something about his deep voice, humor, and cool temperament that makes him super attractive. you've honestly been avoiding a face reveal from him so you can keep this fantasy going.

you don't even know what his real name is.

you just call him yun or yunz when you talk to him (his username is yuniverse69 so it came naturally). he calls you blue or bluey because of your user bluez420 (you tried to make a gender-neutral username so guys would stop immediately disconnecting from the game when they'd see your name).

your chemistry was clear the moment you met.

and not just you're gaming chem -- your ability to play off of each other -- but personality-wise, too. since then, you've been messaging each other daily to game, talk, or watch a movie. even when you're away from your PC you continue to text him throughout the day.

from the start, you've wondered if he's nice to you because he's genuinely a nice guy, or if he's just trying to get something out of you. some people will be nice for a week or two before confessing their undying love for you -- then, when you reject them they'll have a major meltdown (you shiver thinking back to your failed online friendships).

but it's been about a year and a half since you started playing with him, and he hasn't even asked to see a photo of you. each interaction has been completely innocent -- okay not completely, but part of your dynamic is a bit of teasing and flirting here and there. nothing crazy.

so you've cherished the friendship. when you hear discord ping in the background, your heart beats a little bit faster in excitement because you always know it's him.

yunz: comp?

there's no need for pleasantries anymore. a simple comp? or call? or wyd is enough.

you answer immediately:

you: yea, join vc.

---

but then you started seeing yourself get a bit too excited to hear his voice, or to get an invite to join his party. so you may have gotten a bit too self-conscious and started to distance yourself.

you didn't want to be that person to have a crush on a faceless voice. especially when everything has been going so well between you.

so you took a break.

from valorant, gaming, and him.

yunz: comp? you: actually im gonna take a break from val yunz: rage quitting?

you gnaw at your bottom lip, deciding to go with it

you: yeah, it hasn't been fun lately

that's not exactly true. as much as valorant exhausts and pisses you off, it's been fun duoing with yun. but lately, you've been laying the flirty attitude a little too thick. you wince every time you overhype one of his clutches or laugh way too hard at some stupid joke he makes.

yunz: wanna play something else?

you're caught off guard by his message. valorant has always been his main game. sure, he plays league sometimes, and he'll hop on other multiplayer games if there are enough people -- but he's never asked you to play something else.

then again, you've never really turned down valorant.

you: you play other games?? yunz: only if you want to

you grip your mouse tight when you realize you're blushing. over a discord message! ugh. you feel so pathetic for reacting to something so simple -- so platonic.

you want to cave. download some random game just so you can keep talking to him. but you hold back.

you: actually i'm not rly in the mood for games :/

dots appear above the chat box. he's typing. you wait.

and then they disappear.

shit. did you hurt his feelings?

no way. he probably has a bunch of other people to play with. he just asked you first because you've been duoing forever.

still… what if he was offended?

your brain goes into overdrive. before you can spiral any further, you shoot off another message.

you: maybe another day?

the dots appear again. and this time he replies:

yunz: gonna touch grass or something??

he's fine. if he’s still joking, he's definitely not mad. he probably just got distracted earlier.

and why would he get mad? you feel presumptuous, acting like yun is obsessed with you or something.

you: im not a total degenerate like you 🤨 yunz: mhm. well watch me rank up without you you: sure buddy

he stops responding after that.

---

you've been pulling back for the past few days -- just enough to make it feel casual. like waiting a few minutes before responding to him, or telling him you're busy when all that's waiting for you is an anime that you're forcing yourself to rewatch.

the thing is, he's taken it way too easily. no follow‑up, no double texting, no 'you good?', just quiet.

you didn't think you wanted him to chase, but the lack of any reaction kind of stings. you have to remind yourself that you're doing this because you're getting to interested in him while he probably has zero interest.

and that's fine -- you try to convince yourself. you value your friendship over whatever misguiding infatuation you hold for his voice. but you wish he'd want you back, as pathetic as that is. you wish he'd suddenly flip that switch on your friendship...

you finally join the server again after a handful of days of short dm conversations. he invites you to play valorant once more as he does often, and this time you agree to join.

navigating over to his server, you see that there are two icons under the 'general' voice channel. you click on it, waiting to connect.

on closer inspection, the other icon is one of a cute anime girl.

with a familiar sound effect, you're in the call. you hear his voice, deep and masculine, even as he laughs out-loud...and then someone else's. a girl.

her voice is cute. chipper. she sounds effortlessly sweet…and pretty. like someone who'd pair really well with yun.

"yunnie, help! they're on B and i'm really scared!"

"i'll be there in a sec. i think sova died in mid..."

they're already in a game.

you feel awkward barging in like this, listening to them play together while you just sit in the call silently. so you say something to announce your presence.

"hey, you guys already playing?"

yun responds first, "oh hey! yeah we're just in a swift so it shouldn't be too long."

"oh, is she playing with us?" the girl asks.

"yea, if you don't mind." he says off-handedly, "oh yeah, bluey this is viv. i met her in a swiftplay a few days ago." yun introduces her like it’s no big deal, like you haven’t been lowkey avoiding him for a week.

"oh cool."

your stomach turns before you can stop it. okay. of course he found someone else to play with. and she does sound nice. but still.

"is this your duo?" viv asks. not to you, but to him.

you stay quiet.

"yeah," yun says. "we climbed from diamond to immortal 2 together."

"is she, like, your pocket-sage or something?"

okay... maybe she's not as nice as you thought she was.

"nah, she mostly plays smokes and initiator," yun replies, unfazed.

ok, maybe he thought that she was genuinely asking about your preferred role. there is a good chunk of girls who only play to support their boyfriends as healers...(you detest that stereotype). but there's an attitude underneath her sweet voice. one that leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

you stare at your screen, headset suddenly hot on your ears, wondering why her question hit you so hard. but then she's acting all sweet again -- "oh that's good because i like playing sage the best! it's good that we have an immortal duelist and controller!"

you let out a friendly laugh -- she just wanted to make sure you wouldn't steal her agent, you think. "i used to be a sage main before too! maybe i could show you a few walls i know."

she brushes off your offer, "that's okay, i'm mostly here to just heal yunnie."

---

viv talks a lot. asks questions, both about the game and about 'yunnie'. she laughs at everything yun says, even stuff that wouldn't normally get more than a breathy exhale out of you. and you wonder if you sound like that when you're talking to him.

you feel like a hater every time you roll your eyes at the things she says.

so what? she's flirting with him. she's allowed to. you tell yourself. you don't own him...and he doesn't seem to hate it either...but it's difficult to listen to her talk to him like there isn't another person in the call!

another issue is her lack of skills.

look, you're not one to make fun of people for being new to a game, but you can tell that she's minimizing her skills to look helpless in front of yun. there's no way she's genuinely playing like that...no one above iron is that clueless.

and then there's the issue of her rank keeping you from playing the game-mode that you enjoy the most: comp. since you and yun are immortal, you can only queue with ascendents and up. she's...

"viv is silver so we'll have to do swiftplays."

you hesitate.

"you okay with that?" yun asks. "it's the only way she can play with us."

you smile into your mic even though no one can see you.

"yeah, sure," you say. "whatever works."

and usually it is fine. but only playing swiftplays for three hours?

what is the point of playing this miserable game if you're not grinding for your rank? at least comp makes you rage for a good reason!

somehow, you lose four matches in a row at some point. actually, not somehow, you know why. yun knows why. viv probably knows why too.

she keeps getting picked off (killed) early in the rounds, keeps following yun around with her healing orb out instead of a gun, keeps self-deprecating herself for some comforting words, and you're this close to leaving the game.

of course, she's still in good spirits, but you notice yun going quiet between rounds -- less comms, less banter. at one point, viv calls him 'yun‑yun,' and something flares inside your chest like jealousy dressed up in a clown wig.

you tell yourself you’re being dramatic. but you literally cannot take it anymore. you suppress your irritation as you pause the game queue. you cannot play another swiftplay.

"ugh, you know what guys, i'm actually not feeling val anymore..." you try to sound tired, but still unaffected and friendly.

surprisingly, yun agrees, "yeah, three hours of swiftplay is too much for one day." you all log off the game, but no one leaves the call.

it’s a quiet ritual by now -- the post-match limbo. when the games are over, but you’re not quite ready to hang up. any gamer would know the feeling. the soft hum of a call still going. just... existing together and having a chill conversation before logging off for the night.

you sit in your chair with your legs pulled up, headset slightly askew, wondering if it'd be weird to just disconnect. if you were to leave without a word that would make it obvious that something's up. plus yun is used to chilling for a good bit before leaving. so instead, you sit there while yun and viv trade song recommendations.

then viv says something that makes your ears perk, "yunnie, what do you look like? like, irl."

he snorts. "why?"

"i dunno. i just feel like your voice doesn't match your vibe."

"what is my vibe?"

"like... maybe nerdy? soft? you probably wear glasses or something."

"i actually do wear glasses, sometimes. i wouldn't say i'm a nerd though."

"you should send a pic. i wanna see if i'm right."

he laughs, "uh, okay?"

you feel your heart do a weird little jump. and you hate it. why do you care? you've been fine all this time not knowing how he looks... but still, you wait for it with a bated breath.

and he does it.

he drops a photo in the chat like it's no big deal.

you silently click on it.

shit. he's... really cute.

soft brown eyes framed by thin wired glasses. dark hair that falls perfectly over forehead. pink pouty lips. the kind of face that makes your heart ache a little. you weren't expecting him to dress so...nicely.

an exaggerated gasp sounds from the call, “oh my god, wait -- you're actually cute??’

yun laughs. “why do you sound surprised?”

viv giggles. “dunno. you just seem like the type to hide behind a cat profile pic forever….um, should i send one too?”

“sure,” he says casually. “you both should.”

you freeze.

you too?

“wait, me too?” you ask.

“yeah,” he replies, like it's obvious. “we've been friends for so long, but i've never seen what you look like.”

your pulse jumps. before you can think too hard, you scroll through your camera roll, pick something decent – something safe – and send it.

viv sends hers right after.

"so what do you think?" she asks him.

"you look like how you sound."

"yeah? and how's that?" she prompts.

the whole call -- all two of you -- wait for his response

"like a girl." he answers casually.

you feel stupid for the way relief washes over you. like you were holding your breath without even noticing. like it mattered. like it means something.

and maybe it doesn't. maybe he really is just that straightforward. but still. you smile to yourself, just a little. and then immediately feel ridiculous for it.

viv whines into her mic, "what? that's it??"

"yeah. what do you want me to say? that you look like a boy?"

viv just sighs in defeat.

after a pause, yun speaks again: “and bluey... you actually look like you touch grass--” he jokes. "but that can't be true. not if you're immortal."

“wowww,” you tease, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. “so i look like a regular person. thanks.”

"well, not regular." he chuckles. low and warm. "definitely not regular."

---

you'd hate to admit how many times you looked back at his photo after leaving the call. you just can't believe he looks that good. how can a guy like that no-life valorant as much as you do?

a dm notification pops up as you're staring at his photo.

it's yun:

yunz: you look pretty. yunz: sorry i didn't wanna say that in vc earlier. thought it'd be weird.

your eyes widen as you read his message.

pretty? he thinks you look pretty??

ok, what if he's just saying that to be nice? better act casual. don't read too into it.

you type something out. then delete it. then type something again. god, he can probably see your indecisiveness as you type.

you: thanks. you too. you: i mean. you look handsome. you: not that you don't look pretty too.

you stare at your screen, horrified. did you really just send that??

nice one! he definitely won't know that you're freaking out on the other side of the screen...

you wait patiently and not at all stressed out as he writes out a response.

yunz: lol yunz: ur cute when you overtype

you think you're about to hurl. you reread his message again and again – half-smiling, half-panicking.

you: are you making fun of me 😤

his reply comes quickly.

yunz: nah yunz: i wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it

holy shit, when did he get so smooth?

you pause to run over to your bed and scream into a pillow, jostling the fluffy thing against your face until your heart rate slows down. then you collect yourself and sit back at your desk.

you: well you: thanks

okay, so that’s not how you're supposed to receive a compliment. 

fuck, why do you have to be so awkward!

after a longer pause, another message pops up. like he’s been debating whether he should send the message or not. 

yunz: i missed you this week

your breath catches. you stare at the words, trying to make sure you're not misreading them. but they're still there.

you: yeah? you: i kinda missed you too yunz: only kinda? you: shut up

you both stop typing. your cheeks hurt from how wide you're smiling and you can feel the blush that's plastered right over your face.

what are you supposed to say after that?

so... did you miss me because you like me?

no way. absolutely not. that’s way too bold. way too risky.

so you end up responding the only way you know how to in situations like this:

you: hey you: can we play comp tomorrow?

he answers almost immediately:

yunz: i was literally about to ask you the same thing

you take a risk.

you: no viv?

and it works.

yunz: nah, i can’t play another swiftplay after today. kinda just wanna play with you anyway.

you literally have to sit back after reading that. 

just the two of us?

sure, you're used to duoing, but after tonight...

you click away quickly to look at his picture again. 

still cute. unfairly cute.

you: ok let's play tmrw. goodnight yunz 💤 yunz: night bluey yunz: sleep well you: dream of me 🥰 yunz: ...i already do.

you close discord and sit there for a second. just breathing. the crush is definitely real. and for the first time, it feels like maybe… he feels it too.

---

note: this is the photo he sent ☺️ he KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING! (i like to imagine he had it saved on his desktop in case the reader ever asked to see him. he's so proud of the pic hehe)

[hurtspideyparker]

"What's up small fry?" Tony asks when he catches a blur of red and blue in the corner of his eye.

He continues unscrewing pieces from inside the old car engine at random, deconstructing the machine. Tony looks up at Peter when he gets no reply.

"Pete?"

Peter's hand slips from the door frame, trudging over to Tony across the workshop.

The sun must have gone down without Tony noticing, the only light in the room coming from a few scattered table lamps. Explains all the squinting he's been needing to do anyways. Peter doesn't have his mask on, but his face is too shadowed to read.

"How was patrol? I think someone made dinner, we can heat it up together. Or there's that mac and cheese you like—"

Peter comes closer and doesn't stop until he's crashing into Tony in an all-encompassing embrace. His arms constrict around Tony's waist, face squashed into the older's chest.

"Oh."

Tony looks down at the tuft of gelled curls, a warm sigh leaving Peter's mouth as his body melts into Tony.

Tony's arms jerk to catch the boy, scared he'll simply wash away, but Peter only relaxes further into the hug. Peter secures his grip with an unwavering hold despite the tension that drains from him in a steady stream.

When the hug sustains Tony pulls him closer, tucking his chin over Peter's head and breathing out his own restlessness. One arm rubs up and down Peter's back, thumb drawing a strong pressure into the firm muscle.

They stay like this; Tony's eyes close at some point, their breathing syncing into even exchanges like heart beats. He isn't sure if he should be worried or confused, but all thoughts flit out of his brain at the genuine expression of affection being laid upon him.

It's Peter who lets go first, death grip sliding away until Tony becomes aware enough to unwrap his own self as well.

"Sorry, I just really needed that," the boy mutters.

"Um. No problem."

Peter steps away, and Tony gives him a look up and down. He doesn't seem injured, but a weariness clings to his bones like laundry scent on fresh sheets.

"M'hungry. Can you make the mac n' cheese?"

Normally Tony would refuse, mostly out of the habit of saying 'no' whenever someone asks something of him before he even actually considers it, but Peter's eyes are big and earnest, and he quite possibly has turned Tony into a giant teddy bear with the way he's been appeased and clung to.

"Sure thing. Why don't you go get changed and I'll meet you in the kitchen?"

Tony is plating up the steaming, alarmingly orange food with a side of the lamb chop someone cooked earlier and a peeled clementine when Peter wanders into the room. He's in his signature hello kitty pajama pants and a striped sweater Tony is sure is his girlfriend Michelle's.

He looks a bit better now, simply sleepy instead of dead on his feet, the attempt of usual pep in his step as he comes and lays his head down in his arms on the kitchen table.

Tony places the food in front of him, Peter immediately shoving a spoonful of the pasta into his mouth without picking his head up.

"Fank 'ou."

Tony lets a humorous puff of air out of his nostrils.

"You're welcome, now don't talk with your mouth full," he says while ruffling the boys hair.

He swallows, "your hand smells like oranges."

Tony pilfers a piece of fruit from Peter's plate, taking a seat across from the boy and shooting a brief raise of his eyebrows his way.

"I wonder why."

Peter smiles at him.

He smiles back.

[jimilter]

the ferrari guy | jjk.

You hire an assistant – and Jeon Jungkook loses his mind. Is that irrational of him? Not when the guy you’ve chosen flirts like a hooker, looks like a runway model and dresses like he’s Giorgio Armani himself. 

pairing: jungkook x reader rating: pg-15 genre: humor | fluff | chaebol!au | fwb!au | ceo!jungkook warnings: swearing + implied sex + jealousy + insecurity + a certain loml charming everyone’s pants off <3 word count: 3 k note:  helloooo fam! i am alive and still writing apparently lmao. jimilter is still a safe space, a wonderful escape from real life and i have no plans of quitting this in near or far future (: no comments on the occasional disappearances tho bec real life has been hectic af! anyways, enjoy this humorous lil drabble from jk's pov (set between part 3 & 4) while i work on the massive angst in part 5! <3

— masterlist | feedback!

↝ the damsel & her knight ⁘ 01 02 03 [3.5] 04 05

On Thursday evening, while leaving work, Jeon Jungkook finds a flashy, bright red Ferrari convertible blocking his car in the parking lot of his office. An office in a building his father owns. 

Needless to say, he is beyond mad.

"Who the heck even drives a Ferrari in our company?" he barks into the phone, scowling when his secretary gives an exasperated sigh.

"President ma'am interviewed some people today, sir. Maybe it's one of the candidate's cars?" 

"What kind of a douchy person comes to a job interview in a convertible?" Jungkook is still scowling at the vermillion vehicle when his brain catches up with the rest of the information Haeri imparted. His mouth dropping open, he raises his free hand up in front of his face, as if to stop time. "Hold on – did you say President ma'am?"

"Uh, yes, si—"

"She interviewed people? Why? What for?" he cuts his secretary off, frowning.

"She is hiring an assistant, sir."

"Wha—why does she need an assistant?"

Haeri is quiet for a while. Then she clears her throat. "I would suggest you to not ask her this, sir."

Jungkook sighs. Haeri is always so straightforward with him. Sometimes a bit too straightforward. But she’s always guiding him around making stupid decisions, and maybe that is why he's had her in his office for nearly two years now. The longest he’s had a secretary ever since he joined the company as the CEO. 

There’s also the fact that Haeri actually has a boyfriend and is immune to all of Jungkook’s charm… Not that he’s actually tried them on her, per se. He’s been otherwise occupied in that department for a while. Very happily and proudly so. 

Clearing his throat, "Yeah, sorry," he grumbles to the girl, turning around to eye the offensive car again. "I'm texting you the license plate number, will you make an announcement on Prez's floor?"

"Sir, I—"

"Good. Thanks, Haeri, you're a gem!"

Even as a security guard comes and removes the obstructing vehicle within minutes and Jungkook is free to leave, his mind doesn’t feel settled. At all. He isn’t sure what it is that irks him about you hiring an assistant, but it is something for sure. Maybe he fears you’d pay him even lesser attention at work than the scant amount you do now. Maybe he thinks you won’t need his help with the integrated Firewall-VPN project anymore. Maybe he… Well, he isn't sure.

But something about this just usettles him. Which is what has him texting you close to midnight, casually dropping his question without offending you with a ‘why’ just like Haeri instructed him to.

↪ hey prez ↪ heard you’re hiring an assistant?

Your reply comes exactly ninety-four seconds later. Yes, he counts.

You heard that in the middle of the night?

He bites his lip, rubbing his reddening cheeks against the cold cotton of his pillow in embarrassment, but doesn’t lose hope because you’re still typing.

I have actually already had the interviews today The guy joins tomorrow You wanna drop by with a welcome gift basket? :)

His glare stays fixed on the little, taunting smile for a long while, before it moves to the word ‘guy’ in your text. You’ve hired a guy assistant.

Jungkook wonders if the bile suddenly roiling in his stomach has any correlation with the explicit images his brain suddenly conjures up of you and a faceless male making out in your office.

God, he’s going insane.

The next morning, Jungkook is barging into Yoongi's office with a frown. "Prez hired an assistant."

Min Yoongi very slowly looks up from his computer screen, gaze wary. "Good morning to you too, Jeon. I’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

Jungkook ignores the man’s sarcasm and instead drops into one of the couches placed on one side of his office, groaning. “It’s a guy.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Head whipping up faster than the blink of an eye, Jungkook gapes at your Creative Director. “You have heard?”

Yoongi gives him a tired look. “My office is on the same floor as hers, Jeon. I have more than just heard.”

“Have you seen the guy?” he quickly rushes out, wide eyes boring into Yoongi’s disinterested ones.

“Met him. Kid’s jovial and efficient. She’s gonna love him.”

What? Jungkook stalks up to Yoongi’s table with a scowl. “Kid?”

“Oh, he’s probably older than you.”

“Jovial?”

“Yeah, always got a smile on his face; not a word out of his mouth without giggles.”

Giggles? Jungkook's pinky finger twitches in irritation because giggling is supposed to be his thing. How dare you.

“And he's really freaking efficient too, man." Yoongi continues when Jungkook has stayed quiet for too long. "He's got a typing speed of 96 wpm, can speak five languages, is capable of charming every guest with a grin and some sweet words—oh! And he’s quick on his feet! Delivered five coffees on two different floors with the steam still coming out of the cups.” Yoongi has a fond, dreamy look on his face, and if it wasn’t for the wedding band on his finger, Jungkook would have assumed the guy has fallen in love with your new assistant.

Which doesn’t sit well with Jungkook at all. Teeth gritted and fists clenched, he gazes out of the glass doors of Yoongi’s office to yours. 

You aren’t in, yet. Should he pay your oh-so-wonderful assistant a visit before you are?

You’d surely have his head if you catch him threatening the dude – not that he plans on it; he just feels like he might – but it’s a risk he is very much willing to take.

And so, over Yoongi’s protests, Jungkook marches out of the guy’s office and, crossing the long corridor, lands at yours.

There’s an additional table placed perpendicular to yours within the glass cabin and Jungkook wishes he had laser vision so he could incinerate the damn thing in its place. He looks around the office for the guy of the hour, grunting at the small trinkets he finds adorning the new table.

Who keeps a freaking potted plant on a desk? What if it fell off and died?

Jungkook doubts this guy is as efficient as Yoongi talked about him being. He chokes in the middle of the accompanying scoff, though, because his eyes suddenly locate, well, keys.

Sleek, black, no bigger than a matchbox, with a silver, galloping horse engraved on the obviously custom made leather surface. Keys to a Ferrari. What are the odds?

“Ma’am, you’re in earl—oh…”

Jungkook twists on heels at the voice, coming face to face with a guy that honestly doesn’t look much older than him despite what Yoongi said. His eyes are wide and lips rounded, brown hair brushed off his forehead to display the perfect arch to his thick eyebrows. He wears a – Jungkook hates to admit – gorgeously tailored dark brown suit that Jungkook knows to be Armani because he just made the same purchase a week back.

The guy, simply put, doesn't look assistant-material at all. He could be on Vogue's cover with those plump lips and shapely eyes of his. Or perhaps pose for swimsuit commercials with that bubble butt. Or walk the ramp for Armani, Patek Philippe or Chanel, given the brands Jungkook can spot on him.

But he isn't in any of those places – he is here, in your office, as your assistant.

“Good morning, sir!” he suddenly exclaims, and here’s the jollity Yoongi talked about. “You must be Mr. Jeon, the CEO?”

Jungkook gives him a jilted nod, hating the flawless mannerism the guy displays and the accompanying subconscious twitch his lips give in response, and inches back towards the door. “Um, yeah… I was just leaving…”

Your assistant’s smile falls and a concerned look overtakes his face. “But you just got here?”

And something about the innocent pout with which he looks at Jungkook has him rooted to the place. In wonder? Confusion? Shock?

Awe?

He can't freaking tell.

“I can get you some coffee, if you’d like? Everyone’s been telling me I brew a killer espresso!” He flashes a proud smile while Jungkook just helplessly gapes. “I can also get you some snacks? Sandwiches? Cookies? Ooh, would you like some pastries? Our office canteen has some amazing Danishes, would you like one? Ah, your forehead is all misty. Here!”

Before Jungkook can react, the guy is in his face with a tissue, dabbing the sweat away from Jungkook’s arched eyebrows. His smile is blinding, dear God, Jungkook cannot articulate a single word out of the storming confusion in his head. Since when do men have such pouty lips? 

When he steps back, he immediately gestures to a couch. “Make yourself comfortable, sir! May I lower the temperature? You still haven’t said what you need.”

Finally, finally able to collect his thoughts, Jungkook releases a long exhale. 

Who the actual fuck is this guy? A witch? A siren?

Jungkook needs to get out of here and he needs to talk to you.

“Uh, no, thank you, none of that. I, um, I’m good.” Quickly flashing the guy a tight lipped smile, Jungkook slips out of the doors. “I came to see Prez, but she's obviously not here, so… I’ll – I'llcome back later. Good day.”

Even as Jungkook immediately storms out of the office and rushes to the elevators to hurry back to his own floor, your assistant calls out a very happy sounding, “You have the best day, sir!”

Well-mannered, fashionable, charming in a very alarming way. Dude literally had him gaping for a whole minute with his head pretty damn empty. Jungkook's head is never empty.

This guy is so weird and… dangerous. Where did you find him?

And, in fact, why did he come here?

The guy's obviously rich, given all the brands he wears like second skin, so why the heck does he want to work as your assistant? In the same office as you?

Jungkook roughly swallows as the images he conjured last night make a return to his head – this time, with your assistant’s regrettably very handsome face on the previously faceless guy you were making out with. 

He wants to punch a wall.

What he does, instead, is shoot off a text to his secretary, telling her he isn’t feeling well and is going back home. And then another one to you, asking you to pay him a visit tonight. And possibly stay the night because he bought some extra alcohol.

He hasn’t, but the first stop he makes after leaving the office will be to pick up some expensive red wine.

Everytime Jungkook pulls out of you, spent and sweaty and satisfied, after the deed is done, he is left in disbelief. Every single time. Is this really happening? Are you really sleeping with him? Do you actually feel attracted to his body?

He is smart enough to not delude himself into thinking there's more to it, but it doesn't matter because whatever there is between you both is enough to astound him every time the two of you have sex.

Right now, as you sit with your back to him, pulling on his t-shirt over your bare frame – Jungkook's mind is caught onto something a little different than his usual daze of disbelief, though.

And even though he’s risking it by questioning the ‘why’ despite his secretary’s warnings, Jungkook can’t help it when he brings it up. "So… Hiring an assistant. Why so suddenly?"

You hum and give a noncommittal shrug. "I can't be in the office all the time. It's high time I hired one, don’t you think?"

Jungkook doesn’t think so. But he’d definitely be dead meat if he said it out loud. “Sure… What tasks will you give him?”

That earns him a confused look from you over your shoulder. “Do you wanna tell me something, Jeon?”

Wide-eyed, he gapes at you. “What?”

“Did something happen with Haeri? Is that why—”

“Oh, no,” he exhales, beyond relieved, then shakes his head with a smile when you continue to eye him suspiciously. “I just… Well. I’m always making Haeri pick up after me as if she’s a babysitter and not an office worker, you know? So I thought I could use some tips from you…”

You nod at that, turning back around to pull on your panties, and Jungkook breathes easier. He has sold his lie and you’ve bought it. “That’s actually thoughtful and mature of you. Where was this maturity when you had me running after you, though?” you grumble with a playful glare, and he just laughs. 

“It is because of all of that that I’ve finally learnt to be mature, Prez.”

Straightening after having covered your lower half, you inch back on the bed and rest your back against the headboard. “Well. To be fair, he has been running around for tiny errands for the two days he’s been here, so I can’t really lecture you, right now,” you admit. “But I wanted someone in the office for the meetings-season that is about to arrive as we near the launch, you know? Both you and I will be busy with the project. Poor Yoongi will need all the help he can get.”

Jungkook frowns. “Why doesn’t Yoongi hire an assistant then?”

You snort at that and gesture to the bottle of wine on the nightstand. “Why’re you pressed about it? You said you need tips, right?”

“Ah, yes, of course. I just want some tips.” Quickly catching his slip, Jungkook pours you a glass and settles next to you, bare, with the covers thrown across his lap for modesty. “So… will he be accompanying you to meetings, then? Or fill in for you while you’re busy with other stuff?”

“Well, initially he will shadow me for a week or so. And then when I get busy overseeing the launch event and coordinating with the Lims and other investors, he can switch between locations around the city to ensure everything is in order because Yoongi can’t be doing everything, you know?” You take a sip from your glass of wine and shrug a shoulder. “He’s our Creative Director, he needs to hold the fort while everyone runs around like headless chickens.”

Jungkook sips at his wine and musters a thin smile. Because yes, it definitely makes sense why you needed to hire an assistant. Speaking of, Yoongi probably needs one as well. 

Damn, when he used to work as a Software Analyst at a different company, he had no idea the executives of a company had so much to do. It always looks like an easy life looking in from the outside. But as CEO, he has come to learn that if someone in a higher up position makes a mistake, they initiate a dominoes’ fall all the way down.

“You met him, didn’t you?”

His surprised eyes fly to yours at the question. You’re looking at him with a smirk, and Jungkook’s heart gives a thump at how sexy you look. Your question, though, throws him off. "I… How did you—”

You roll your eyes. “He told me you came in to see me and then left. I checked in with Haeri and she said you weren’t feeling well.”

Wow. They both snitched on him. Just great.

And now you're looking at him with barely contained laughter as if you know how jealous he feels. Who is he kidding, of course you know how jealous he feels. You always know this kind of stuff, ugh.

“Don’t be getting insecure, Jeon, my assistant will remain only an assistant.”

He doesn’t know why you say that, but he appreciates it all the same. The twinkle in your eyes expresses playful adoration and the way it makes his heart race kinda scares him.

But then you lean in with an exaggerated kissy face to press a wet smooch on his mouth. When you pull away, he looks at you with a slight pout on his lips. You tilt your head to the side with a squint.

"What?"

"It's… Why did you pick the Ferrari guy?" Jungkook sounds a little whiny, but he can't help it.

You look at him over the rim of your glass, eyebrows nearing your hairline, amusement spilling from your gaze. "Uh, what's wrong with the Ferrari guy?"

"Nothing, of course, that's not what I meant," he tries to amend with a chuckle, but given the way you narrow your eyes at him before putting your glass away to cross your arms, you probably don't buy it. So he speaks on. "It's just that he doesn't look like an assistant, you know?"

"I… don’t actually. What does an assistant look like?"

Are you being purposely difficult or is Jungkook being completely weird? He's not exactly sure how to explain it better, but he's definitely sure that any other way would have been better than what comes out of his mouth next. "I mean, a bit… less… flirty, I guess?"

"What? What the hell did he do to you?"

He groans at your excited expressions. "Dude had me gaping at him for fifteen minutes while he talked about God knows what, because I couldn't focus on his words! I don't even like men like that!"

You give a loud snort and then break into loud peals of laughter. "Well, Jungkook, maybe you do! Maybe you just haven't had your awakening yet!"

"Not funny," he grunts, even as a humored smile slips on to his face at your loud giggles. "What did you say his name was, again?"

You raise an eyebrow. "I didn't."

He rolls his eyes. "Well, my dear Prez, what is your new assistant's name?"

"Park Jimin." Your smile turns goofy and eyes almost dreamy. "Pretty name for a pretty man. Right?"

He rolls his eyes at your suggestive wink, grumbling as he finishes his glass of wine in a large gulp.

You give a small sigh. "He's a nice guy, give him a chance. Heart of gold, or whatever they say."

Jungkook decides that he, for reasons way beyond his supposed homoerotic awakening, absolutely hates Park Jimin's guts. He's going to convince you to fire him. And soon.

© jimilter | 2024

[cherry-leclerc]

we never talk about it ☆ op81

genre: humor, angst, yearning, massive crushes, and lots and lots of miscommunication, assistant!reader

word count: 11k

It's unwise—longing for someone like Oscar. While he's the epitome of someone anyone can easily fall in love with, you're the epitome of a devoted girl who will fall in love with him. You might not even care too much about all the heartbreak you endure along the way.

inspired by sharpest tool, sabrina carpenter !

cherry here!... based on real events.

Do you remember the day we first met?

The wind doesn’t do its job in blocking him out, the way you prayed and wished it would. You’re still able to catch the crack in his voice—a distant reminder of the way it once made you giggle. Even his nose is beet red, matching the Christmas lights. But apart from all that, you still hear him. You still see him. 

You always have.

“A little bit. Yeah.”

He flinches, then tries to play it off with a soft smile. Like he doesn’t want you to uncover the slight hurt he feels. But he can’t read your mind. He never could. And that was the problem.

Oscar nods, feigning indifference. “I do. Remember it all, I mean.  Think back to it quite often."

-

It’s utterly useless to try and ignore him, really.

His hair is too fluffy, his eyes are too bright, and his accent is making you want to flaunt the way some loony character would with a hand over their heart. It was honestly a tad bit demeaning.

But you can't help it. You admire the way his brown locks fall in a lousy manner when he towers down to sign the contract. You blush when his eyes get that twinkle in them. And you swoon over almost anything he says with a shy smile.

“You’re drooling.”

Mortified, you briskly run the back of your hand against your mouth before sending a harsh glare. Lando snickers. “Would you please stop?”

His jaw drops, theatrically. “You’re not actually into him—are you?”

He says it with a trace of humor, but also shock, and you can't help but have your mouth run dry. A loose grin starts to expand across his lips as you hurriedly shake your head. “O-of course not. Are you crazy?”

But if anything, you feel crazy. You must be, right? With every passing second of your heart beating faster and faster against your chest simply just by looking at the young Australian, you’re sure you fall straight into the category like some love fool.

Lando squints his eyes. “I don’t know.” He leans in straight into your face, nearly hissing. “Am I?”

“Am I interrupting?” 

Flinching hard, you turn quickly to face Anastasia. You’d initially met the black haired girl back in 2019. As you started off as the Brits personal assistant, she took over as Carlos’ and later also Daniel’s. Over the course of time, you two came to be as close as sisters. 

“No! Not at all,” you squeak, nervously before pushing the McLaren driver away and patting towards the open chair next to you. She giggles, rolling her eyes and adjusting herself. “How was the flight over?”

A shrug. “As good as it can get. Sat next to a silver fox, so I guess that must count for something, no?” Lando shudders. She leans in closer, plopping her head against your shoulder. “What’d I miss?”

“Not much.” Only, that’s not true. She missed the way he laughed awkwardly when the doors wouldn’t slide open and let him into the headquarters. She missed the way he rolled his R’s a little too hard when saying ‘sorry’. She missed the way he grabbed the pen with a certain glow on his face, like he almost couldn’t believe any of this was happening. Lazy fingers pat her head gently once before sighing. “He seems nice.”

“How do you know?”

You know because of the way he talks to everyone. Like he cares about what they have to say. Whether it’s about how great his career is going to be here in McLaren or if they introduce their kids to him via FaceTime. He always wore the same smile, talked in the same warm tone. So, could your guess be far off? Yes. It could be completely far off. But you would bet money that it wasn’t. 

“Just a wild hypothesis.”

Her laugh isn’t too loud, not ridiculously so, at least, but the fact that it echoes is what makes it appear as such. Anastasia is quick to slap her hand over her mouth, the Brit turns fast to face her with panic evident in his eyes, and you simply blink with a shade of red slowly creeping towards your cheekbones. 

Zak grins. “You three.”

“Oh, we’re out,” Lando mumbles in monotone, already grabbing your wrist and dragging you to the exit. You follow numbly, like you don’t have any strength left in your body. 

“You’re leaving me?” Anastasia hisses.

“She’s my assistant,” he says like a matter-of-fact. “Where I go, she goes.”

“Oh, you Judas—”

“All of you,” Zak clarifies, narrowing his eyes over to you and the Brit. You gulp.

With a soft curse, Anastasia stands up, tall and firm, and makes her way over with all the confidence in the world. You frown, craving to be the same way, even just a small percentage. Instead, you have to be forced by the McLaren driver. 

With every step, your head just spins faster because now, he’s more than real. You can smell his cologne. You can count all the moles that cover his face if you really wanted to. You can spot how his hair is still a bit wet, indicating an early shower. 

He’s just becoming— too real. 

“Lando, buddy, meet your new teammate!”

“Nice to meet you,” the blue eyed boy declares with a loopy grin, letting go of your hand in order to shake his. 

“Likewise.”

Zak claps once. “Oh! And meet your personal assistant, Anastasia.”

“Here for anything you might need,” she cheers with a bright smile.

“Fantastic.”

A wave of silence overlaps your four before Lando clears his throat. “And even though you might not be working with her one-on-one, this is my Anastasia.” A snicker. “My assistant, if you will.”

“Nice to meet you—”

“Nice to meet you—”

You both freeze, hands intertwined for a second longer before abruptly letting go. He lets out a dry laugh while you do the same. The way your skin tingles makes you blush. 

“This is fun and all, but we actually have somewhere to be,” the Brit claims with a suspicious look slashed across his usual laid back expression. You nod. “But we’ll see each other soon, man. Can’t wait to race together!”

In a flash, you two are out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Oscar blinking slowly.

-

“He fucks with you.”

“Excuse me?”

Another bench press. “As in, he likes you. He’s into you.”

You don’t dare ask who he is because you already know who the Brit’s referring to and that would only inflate your ego. Snapping your fingers, you narrow your eyes. “Focus. Two more sets left to go.” He groans, flipping you off.

It would be a lie to say that this didn’t make your self-esteem skyrocket. Could he be right? Could someone like Oscar ever lay eyes on you? Somewhere in your dreams, you’d like to say yes. Yes. That is a possibility. But the longer you think about it, the more unrealistic it gets.

You don’t have what others do. And that itself is enough to pop the bubble. 

-

The start of the season is always tough. 

“He’s extremely nervous.”

For some more than others.

You frown. “Really? But he’s usually so…relaxed.”

Anastasia shrugs, hair falling over her shoulder as she continues typing. “I mean, I tried talking to him but with everything I said, he’d just reply—'that's nice’. It was sarcastic, if anything. I would have laughed if I didn’t feel for him. Poor boy.” Her fingers freeze mid-air. “Wait—do you think you could talk to him?”

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea—”

“Come on! Maybe it’ll help him ease his nerves!”

“Ana—”

“Please.”

You huff. “Okay. Fine. Yeah. I’ll see what I can do.”

As soon as you knock, you almost want to turn away. Maybe it was all an exaggeration. Plus, it’s not like he’s going to die from having butterflies in his stomach. Yeah, surely he’ll be fine and he doesn’t really even need you to—

“Come in.”

He wasn't expecting you, that much you can tell by the way his brows go up. But he’s quick to erase the confusion, settling with a fond expression. “Hey.”

“Hi,” you squeak before cringing at the sound. He chuckles, returning to his warm-up exercises. “How are you feeling?”

Another chuckle, this time amused. “Anastasia sent you, didn’t she?”

“What?” A beat. “No.”

He hums. “Tsk. I’m a bit nervous, that's all.”

You lick your lips, kicking your foot up against the doorframe. What could you possibly say that she hasn’t already? If she couldn’t ease him, then how can you? The thought of messing up and making it worse makes your stomach churn. 

“You’re going to do g—”

“Great?” He sighs, blowing his cheeks. “That’s exactly what she said.”

“And what’s wrong with it? She’s only trying to help.”

“No. I know she is, but…” He looks down onto his lap, pausing all movements. “Look, I appreciate you both. What you’re trying to do for me, but I can’t stand hearing what others think I want to hear.”

“It doesn’t do it for you?”

His eyes grow slightly wide with the way you go about and ask. He’s never seen you be anything other than sweet and reserved. But this—right now—is stern and very coach-like. Something and someone you aren’t. Not even close.

“It doesn’t,” he admits, finally looking away. “Never liked it. Always sounds too forced.”

You nod, crossing your arms. “Fine. I can tell you the truth. I can be truthful.” He perks. “Oscar, you’re a terrific driver.” He groans, covering his face with his hands. “But just because you’re great doesn’t mean you’ll be great all the time.” The Australian frowns, uncovering and looking up at you with attentive eyes. “You’re going to mess up. You’re going to be second, or third, or sometimes even twentieth, but that doesn’t matter, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you signed that contract, so you sort of have to suck it up, either way.” He lets out a loud laugh. Very unlike him. A weak smile threatens to fall as you try your best to push it back. “There’s going to be bad races, but there’s also going to be very good races. It all depends on you and how hard you work. Sometimes you’ll have a good car, a good strat, and others you’ll have a shitbox and a bad strat. That’s just the way this sport works, okay?”

Oscar blinks slowly, as if trying to decipher who you are, and that itself makes you dizzy. “I-I-I don’t care if you’re nervous, I don’t care if you’re sure—all we care is that you drive that car, and that you try your best no matter what. Can you do that?”

It’s foreign. The feeling in his chest. He’s not used to hearing any of this. As of recently, everyones been texting him to say how great he’s going to be. How far he’ll go. And while he was grateful for having unconditional support, he also dreaded hearing it sometimes because he doesn’t even want to picture letting any of  them down. He’ll act like he’s fine, he’ll act like he doesn’t care—but none of that would be true.

The brunette tilts his head to the side, slightly squinting. “I can. I can always try my best. Even if I fall short.”

“Good.” A beat. “We all believe in you. No matter what, okay?”

A timid smile. “I know…”

He ends up having to retire the car by lap fifteen, but the most astonishing part is that he’s not even upset. He tried his best. He listened to every single advice his engineer would alert him with. He practiced long hours in the stimulator.

This is just the way things go sometimes. Just like you said.

-

“I’m bored. Can I get a ten minute break or something?” Lando grimaces, rolling his wrist like it's the worst pain in the world. 

You hum, fixing the signed hats back into the box. With eyes screwed, you shrug. “Fine. But only ten! I’m serious. We need to have this done by one.”

“Yes! Ten—got it.”

He doesn’t come back in ten. For the matter, he actually goes missing. 

You narrow your eyes towards the clock, watching as it clicks like some mockery. You’re going to strangle him. You vow at that very moment that you’ll strangle the Brit as soon as you lay hands on him. With one final huff of desperation, you stand up, rubbing your eyes. People frolic through the paddock—you’re sure you even catch a glimpse of Lewis being papped—but that’s not what catches all of your attention. 

Instead, you find yourself leaning against the rail, squinting down to where the man of the hour sits, microphones huddled all around him like some interrogation. Anastasia smiles politely, back straight, and voice-recorder in hand. 

It’s faint—you almost can’t hear a thing—but it’s just enough. 

How does it feel to be back home? Enjoying it, no?

Oscar hums, straight brows slightly furrowed due to the bright sun, but just one adjustment of his hat makes that all go away. “Feels good. I’m able to sleep in my own bed, so that’s pretty cool. And yes. It may be a bit biased, but I am enjoying my time here more than the last two races.” Everyone chuckles. 

Can we talk about your expectations for this weekend? 

You can see him pause, and from where you’re standing, the way his fingers drum against his chair. “Well, I, uh…I hope for a good car.” The joke is supposed to be there, but you can tell everyone was expecting more with the way they murmur to one another. You wince.

Will raises the microphone up to his lips, along with his hand in order to catch the brunette’s attention. “I’m sure there’s been lots of people reaching out to you since this is your first home race, but has there been someone’s advice that has stuck like no other?”

Oscar smiles gently. “There has been, actually.”

You freeze, gripping the steel bar with anticipation. Your knuckles nearly feel like they’re about to snap, and you feel like you’re probably leaning a bit too far over the edge to hear it all, but you don’t even care. Will chuckles. “If it’s not too much to ask, would you mind sharing with us all? I’m sure it’ll help a lot of youngsters watching.”

Anastasia slides the recorder closer. Oscar visibly swallows. “I’m not sure I can. I never asked her for permission to talk about it. And quite frankly, I’d like to keep it between us.”

Will perks up. “Her?”

The black-haired girl is quick to whisper into his ear, turning the opposite way so no one can even attempt to read her lips. He nods, eyes trained forward like some guard. “Any more questions?” But everyone’s intrigued at this point, so all the questions that follow remain the same. Something that makes Anastasia panic and Oscar regret his choice of words. 

“Can we get a name?” some blurts out, nearly seeming desperate to get the inside scoop.

Only, his face remains still, jaw slacked. “No.”

Will raises his hand. “Very well, we don’t have any right to know, but are you willing to share a bit about what she said?”

And it’s almost as if the Australian can foresee that the only way to get out of this situation is by giving them what they want. Even if it’s a stupid little crumb. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She told me to try my best. That’s all I can really do.”

The mix of photographers and journalists deflate. “I-I’m sorry,” Lawrence Barretto slides in with a light tone and an ever lighter smile. “Don’t mean to lessen its meaning, but isn’t that a common thing to say? To hear?” An awkward laugh. “I mean, I just thought it’d be something a bit more…deep. Inspiring, perhaps.”

Blood rushes to your cheeks and you’re grateful to whatever God may exist that you’re not down there. On the other hand, Oscar is a bit bothered by the innocent comment, but then realizes he doesn't have to be. They weren’t there. They don’t know just how much more you said. How upfront you were with him without sounding condescending. Something most people did without even realizing. 

The brown eyed boy spares a smile. “Like I said—some things I’d like to keep between her and I. And even if it was just that, it’s the way she said it.” A beat. “It’s quite a lavish thing to have. A sincere person to talk to, I mean.”

Will tilts his head suspiciously. “It appears she might be someone special to you, yes?”

The Australian freezes at the unwanted interpretation. Suddenly, the atmosphere is far too crowded. He lets out a forced chuckle, rolling his neck before messaging it gently. “Well, yes. I’d agree.” 

A mix of giddiness and shock rushes through your veins as you refrain yourself from jumping up and down with excitement. 

“You’d be lucky if you had her as a friend too.”

-

“Is everything okay?”

Biting down on the churro he had gifted you as an apology for not getting back on time, you growl. “Yes. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Lando raises a thick brow. “Dunno. Maybe the fact that you’re moping.”

Your jaw goes slack, immediately turning to face him. “I am not moping.”

The sound he lets out indicates he doesn’t quite believe you, but is choosing to let it go. Also, he doesn’t want to see your patience run out, too scared of what you might do. The curly haired driver plops down onto his bed that stands in his motorhome, closing his eyes. You nearly envy the indifference in him. The lack of worry. 

“I can hear your teeth clenching. Gross.”

A grunt. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee. Need anything?”

“Only a nap. It’s a good thing you’ll be gone.” He turns over to his side, bringing your jacket over his face to block out any light. You bite the air, swinging silently for a minute or two before exiting the cramped room. 

The sun hurts, you remember thinking, but the upcoming migraine you’re getting is even worse. You should be used to this by now, given you’ve suffered from them since elementary, but based on the way you zig zag without meaning to is enough proof to know that you’re not. Everyone's voices are suddenly muffled, even the sound of engines roaring is as soft as a feather. You wince, massaging your temples as if that might help. 

Woah, are you feeling alright? 

“I’m fine,” you respond meekly, to who even knows. You wave them off rudely. “I’ll be fine. Just. Leave me alone.” 

Anastasia frowns, all while fanning your face. “No. You need to lay down.” She nudges the Australian, who up until now, you had no clue he had his arm clung around your waist. If you weren’t too busy feeling like shit, you’d definitely be making a fool out of yourself. Her green eyes fill up with worry. “I’m gonna go look for a paramedic.”

“You’re doing too much,” you slur, body letting loose and making the brunette shriek as he grips you harder, trying to keep you upright. 

A deadpan expression. “Oscar, take her back to your motorhome and have her lay down.”

He nods, hesitantly. “Y-yeah, okay. Okay.” Once she runs off like a headless chicken, you let out a dramatic gag. Sharp brows knit together with horror. “Do I smell bad?”

A giggle. “No. As a matter of fact, you smell rich.”

With his arm still wrapped around you securely, and warm eyes flickering from you back to see where he’s heading, he grins, eyes crinkling. “Rich? That just so happens to have a scent?”

You purse your lips, wincing at the fact that your peripheral vision has gone completely dark. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I’m a terrific liar and I’m only stroking your ego for my benefit.”

Another chuckle. “Benefit? What benefit may that be?”

Tsk. “How else am I gonna get you to take me to bed?”

The Australian instantly chokes hard on a string of his own saliva, causing you to flinch at the loud sound. Loud to you, at least. He apologizes, but not before taking a glance down, like it’s the first time meeting you. 

As soon as you lay down on the miniature mattress, you release a groan. Even just having your eyes closed makes you dizzy. You let out a loud groan, kicking your feet against the cushion in desperation.

“That bad?”

“That annoying.”

And even though you can’t see him, he nods, internally freaking out, trying to think of ways to help. “Does this happen to you often?”

“Yes.”

He nods, sheepishly. “W-what do you normally do? You know? To help?”

Tossing over to lay on your side, you pinch your eyes, grinding your molars. For a minute, you sort of thought your teeth might crack. Everything about this situation was becoming unbearable. “My mom, she, um…she’d normally braid my hair. It helped sometimes. Others it didn’t.” Messy hair dangles over your face as you let you out a loud exhale, as if you were in the middle of releasing some demon. “I moved too much, she said.”

Oscar smiles, coming across like a faint memory locked in the back of your mind. “I-I-I can try…” Loopy eyes flicker up to face him, and he’s quick to scrunch his nose. The sight alone makes you breathe easier, though he doesn’t know that. Of course he doesn’t. “Only if you want me to…”

“You know how?”

“Sort of? When I was younger, I used to sit across from my sisters at the breakfast table. I was bound to learn a thing or two.”

The subtle proud smile makes your heart beat flutter, smitten at the insight to his childhood. You wish you knew more. Like what was his favorite show? Did he have any imaginary friends, just like you did? Or maybe his favorite superhero? But you swallow all those questions down your throat as soon as he kneels down next to you. The whiff of soft musk distinctively adds to your headache, but you’re too focused on him for something as dumb as that to matter. 

“Just…close your eyes.”

Taking one last glance at him, you comply, lashes fanning slowly before going completely dark. You can still hear him adjusting, you can feel him take your hair into his hands, but nothing makes you stop breathing like his touch that grazes your cheek. 

It’s almost ghostlike—doesn’t really stay on the same spot for too long—but you know it’s real. Long fingers calmly push strands of hair behind your ear, tranquility expanding over your body. The slight tickle it causes helps ease your pounding migraine, little by little. 

“Are my hands too cold?” he whispers, not trying to intrude, but at the same time, wanting to know. You twist, bottom lip jutting out. Not at all. Keep going. And he does. He ends up tangling your hair a bit, because as it turns out, he doesn’t remember much, but he’s sure to delicately fix his mess, brows drawn in with heavy concentration. 

As soon as your hair is back to flowing free, he relaxes, wincing a bit at the pain in his knees. Your hair feels soft. Just what he would imagine a cloud would feel like. For a second, he begins to wonder, who’s this really for? He feels like this might be soothing him more than you. 

Just then, his finger catches on a knot, and he freezes, stopping all movements. “Holy crap, I am so sorry, I—”

You let out a low whimper, but don’t do so much as bat an eye. You’re sound asleep. The brunette lets out a breath of relief, falling back to sit on the ground. 

Your face is a bit squashed—and you’re drooling just a tad bit—but for some odd reason, he finds himself admiring. You’re full lips. You’re lashes. God, even the way you breathe. He feels a tender smile itching, but it never truly gets to see the light of day, because before he knows it, the door is swung wide open. 

Anastasia stops dead in her tracks. “What happe—is she asleep?”

Oscar opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. He does this a couple of times, awkwardly turning to face you and his assistant, back and forth, back and forth. “She, um…just did. A minute ago.”

She pouts, scratching her head. “Weird. Usually when this happens it prolongs for at least ten minutes before it gets any better.” The green eyed girl sheepishly waves the group of paramedics away. A trail of sighs echo as they turn away. As soon as they’re gone, she gently shuts the door, then tippy toes towards the edge of the small bed. Neat brows furrow. “At least she’s feeling better, no?”

Brown eyes follow her gaze. “Yeah. At least.”

-

Lando ends up throwing—and according to him— “The World’s Coolest Jamboree”. You beg for him to call it anything but jamboree, but he’s too attached to it by the time he sends the last text invite, which so happens to be to the rookie driver. 

“Has anyone RSVPed?” you question over his shoulder. He’s in the middle of mixing some mysterious liquid, but by the looks of it, doesn’t look any good. You grimace. 

He lets out a bleh before dropping his utensils. “No one RSVPs these days. They either show up, or they don’t.” 

A slow nod. “So, you don’t know who’s coming?”

“Not a clue. But most likely everyone.”

You scoff. “How are you so sure?”

He gives you an ‘are you kidding me?’ type glare before sending a sly grin. “First of all, it’s my party. They’d be crazy to miss out. And second of all…it’s only the biggest, funnest, coolest jamboree!”

“Funnest is not a word.”

“And party-poopers aren’t welcomed.” You gasp, smacking his chest harshly. He lets out a snicker, picking up a bag of ice and spilling it into the glass bowl. “But I’ll make an exception. Just this once.”

“Just this once,” you mimic before dipping your pinky in. He instantly slaps your hand away. Smacking your lips, you let out a yelp at the bitter taste. “This tastes like ass. God—not even Daniel will drink this, and that guy drinks anything in his way. I’m surprised he hasn’t been accidentally roofied.”

Lando claps his hands with amusement. “God forbid. And please, pay your respect to Lando’s Best Worst Decision.” A beat. “™.” 

“™?” you deadpan. “What? Are you planning on adding a trademark to this sewage water?”

“It’s good, okay?” Mixing the clear liquid once more, he smiles fondly down at it. “And maybe. I’m seriously considering it.”

You sneer, already walking away.

He ends up being right. Not even an hour later, the party is in full swing. Sure, a couple drivers aren’t able to make it, but it’s still jammed packed. It's honestly a miracle to get through the Monaco flat. 

You’re still sober?

Laughing, you nod, raising your water up in the air like some toast. Daniel frowns. “Considering I have to make sure my number one client doesn’t make any bad choices tonight, then nope. Can’t have a sip of alcohol.” 

Brown eyes flutter slowly. “I’m sure there’s other beverage choices. Have you tried Lando’s Best Worst Decision?” He leans in, winking. “™.”

“Oh no. Don’t tell me you actually like it?” He shrugs and you shudder in disgust. “I’m sure I saw him add ten energy shots and God knows what else.”

“No wonder I feel kinda funky.” Your face drops. “Hey, if you pass out, can I crash tonight?”

“Daniel!” you groan, covering your face. “I swear, I’m going to spill that stupid drin—” Only, Daniel is gone. Craning your head, you circle the room. From where you stand, you’re able to see Carlos and Lando taking part in a heated round of pool, all while Charles sways back and forth, infamous red cup in hand.

Marching over to the kitchen island, you pick up the glass bowl and carry it over to the sink before tipping it over. You huff, hair fanning across your nose. 

“Stupid, stupid boys—”

“Hey.”

You shriek, dropping the bowl, and wincing at the sound of glass shattering. 

Oscar grimaces. “Shit. Sorry. Are you hurt?”

“No.” You sigh. “Lando’s gonna kill me.”

Grabbing the nearby broom, the Australian sweeps carefully while knitting his brows. “Why?”

“It’s a family heirloom.”

“A glass bowl?”

You giggle. “I wonder why too.”

Despite the blaring music, and constant chattering, the room feels rather silent. You fiddle with the hem of your dress, and that seems to catch his eye as it dawns on him that he hasn’t really seen you in anything other than your usual uniform. To be fair, you could say the same. He likes it. 

You clear your throat. “Halfway done. How do you feel?”

He sips on his water, jaw clicking before settling with a sharp tsk. “Good. I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. Anastasia even congratulated me the other day when I diverted a series of questions with ease.”

Impressed, you raise your brows. “Bravo. Wish that was the case with Lando. I swear, sometimes I think he does and says things to make me look bad on purpose.”

“He should stop,” he says with a goofy smile. “Does he not know how lucky he is to get to call you his assistant?”

You blush. “Best friend, actually. I’ve been promoted ever since I pretended to be his girlfriend last New Year's Eve.”

The brunette inches forward with curiosity. “Wish to clarify?”

You hop onto the island, fixing your dress and crossing your legs. “Don’t tell him that I told you any of this, but I secretly think he was embarrassed of not having a midnight’s kiss. Especially since his ex was there with her new boyfriend. Talk about the unexpected.”

His chest tightens. “You two, um…kissed, then?”

“Yes,” you confirm with a childlike grin, and for some reason, it makes him want to puke. “Oh God, I haven’t thought about this in forever!”

He pretends to find interest in the crowded room, but really, it all remains on you. “Was it any good?”

You blush this time and he swears he’s close to walking away. “Yes and no. I mean, it wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right.”

He perks up then, floppy hair bouncing at the sudden speed. “Really?” He coughs, then fixes his watch, training his eyes towards the floor. “Erm, I mean, is that so?”

A nose scrunch. “It felt like kissing someone you’re not supposed to. Which I suppose is true. We’re better off as friends.” He relaxes. “Thinking about it, we might’ve gagged each other's mouths.” You grimace. “If that doesn't show our discomfort, then I don’t know what will.”

“Good to know.” Oscar rubs his arm, up and down, then steps closer to you. You blink. “Hey, I was meaning to ask—”

Strippers? I didn’t order any strippers. 

Hire, a male voice interjects. He means to say he didn’t—hire—any strippers. 

“Son of a…” You wince apologetically, to which he shrugs. Don’t worry. Go. Biting your lip, you nod, rushing to the living room, where Lando, Daniel, and a bunch of other randoms circle the almost nude girls with long legs. 

“I mean, I won’t turn you away, ladies,” the Brit mumbled, already wrapping his arms around their waists. They all giggle, inching closer until he’s a blushing mess. 

You snap your fingers, pointing towards the exit. “All of you need to leave.”

Is that your sister? the one with a cowboy hat whispers into his ear. He quickly shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at you like a deadly weapon. 

“No. That’s his girlfriend,” Daniel yodels, face pressed up against the couch, admiring the group of girls. “But they’re in an open relationship.”

“I’m not his girlfriend—”

“She’s not my girlfriend—”

Oscar’s jaw clenches, eyes focused on the entire commotion. The older Australian rolls his eyes. “Right. We don’t talk about it.”

“Would you stop trying to help?” you shoot back, sarcastically, and clap your hands as if you’re rounding up a new high school cheer. “I need you all out. You want money? Fine. He’ll give you money,” you declare, signaling towards Lando. 

“Hey,” he groans, instantly letting go and stepping closer to you. “They haven’t even done anything to earn it….”

Your eye twitches. “I swear to God—”

“Deal,” the redhead shoots out. “But we need a moment to come to an agreement. You know? On how much we want to ask for.”

“Perfect,” you chirp, rolling your heels. “Take out your wallet, Big Boy.”

“You used to be fun.”

“And you used to be terrified over a pair of tits when I first met you. Whatever happened?” Lando blushes profoundly before pushing you away. “Want them gone, Lando, gone!”

“Yes! Jesus Christ—let me deal with this.”

“I’m done,” you promise with your hands raised up in surrender. “But just remember what happened last time.” He frowns, cocking his head to the side. You wiggle your brows. “São Paulo.” 

Color drains his face before letting out an unhinged laugh and motioning you away. You giggle, heading back to where Oscar stands. 

“I see what you mean,” he announces. What? “How he can have a bit of a headache.” 

“See! I told you! Four years of this!” A dramatic yawn. “I’m tired.” 

A string of boo’s follow once the strippers prance out the door, waving all their money in the air. Specifically Daniel, who genuinely looks upset to see them go. Oscar leans down against the counter, the proximity between you becoming smaller. “You should get some rest, then.” But he selfishly doesn’t  mean it. He wants you to stay—to keep talking to him. 

You let out a snort, grabbing your sides. “I mean, I'm tired of being Lando’s assistant. It’s a full time job, y’know?”

“Oh.” He stands up straight again. “Right. Of course.”

You purse your lips, looking down to your shoes. “But that was actually quite thoughtful.”

She thinks I’m thoughtful, he internally swoons because that must be a good sign, right? Not everyone is thoughtful, but he is, and that must count for something. Gathering all the strength he has left—which is not much considering you blink up at him like some angel—he licks his pink lips. “Back to what I was going to say earlier before you left—”

“I wasn’t trying to step on him! I already said I was sorry!” you hear a familiar voice, instantly turning to find Anastasia kicking Daniel’s face back into place, well, since he now lays asleep on the floor. You curse beneath your breath, jumping off the island once again. 

“His head did a complete 360!” Yuki accuses, clearly panicked. “That's not normal, is it?”

“No, it is,” Pierre replies with a bored tone. “I’ve seen it happen before.”

Crouching down next to the curly haired driver, you jab his cheek before motioning Oscar and Anastasia closer. “Help me carry him to the guest room,” you instruct, already taking off your cardigan. 

The black haired girl is quick on her feet, grabbing the Australians right leg as you grab the left. Oscar, however, swallows hard at the amount of cleavage you’re suddenly displaying, but instantly snaps out of it when both you and Anastasia blink back at him. He picks up the Alpha Tauri driver’s upper body before puffing. 

You blush bright pink at the sight of his muscles pulsing against his t-shirt. “I-It’s just around the corner.” 

As soon as you make it into the room, you three carefully place Daniel onto the bed, to which he squirms before flipping over and snoring away. You motion a finger over your lips before pushing them both out. Gently closing the door behind you,you let out a breath of relief. 

Anastasia lets out a whistle. “Surprisingly not that heavy.”

Oscar scoffs. “Easy for you to say. I had to carry most of his weight.” 

She shrugs, hugging you hello and apologizing for being so late, and you’re quick to reassure her that it’s fine, though she missed the chance to see strippers give Lando a tough time. She sneers. “I didn’t even know there existed strippers in Monaco.” And then she’s off, clapping loudly at the sight of Lando giving out a round of jello shots. You sigh, rubbing your temples.

“I-I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”

He freezes. “Oh. Just that—” He panics. “Only that I like your shoes!”

You blink, deflating from within. But you try to cover it up with a soft smile. “Thanks, I guess?” Orbs flicker down toward your white Sambas. “Lando says they are overrated, but I like ‘em.”

He nods. “Yeah. I like them too.”

-

It happens one Friday afternoon—the decision. 

You’re in between races, you’re in between headaches, and you’re ready to self-implode. So, before any of that happens, you make your first decision. To go on a walk. 

It’s getting rather chilly these days, something you love, but also hate. You love it because there is a certain coziness that comes along with it, but you also hate it because you can’t always be cozy, so you’re left shivering. Much like now. But to be fair, this was your own choosing. 

The pounding that takes over your head lessens the longer you stroll, the longer you breathe actual fresh air. You don’t really think much, you mainly remain blank, but the sound of tires screeching rips you away. Squinting hard, you catch a glimpse of a lady with grocery bags flipping off the fellow driver, who shares nothing but an apologetic smile before driving off. 

“What happened? Do I have something on my face?”

Dusting your nose, then your cheek, you blush faintly. You instantly assume it’s the powdered donuts fault—the one you had gobbled up in a hurry during the drive back to the paddock. It was an early morning, and no one really made it on time when it came to early days, but you always did. And so did Oscar. So, a sleepy Zak gave you a wad of cash, and sent you two to the nearest donut shop. 

The Australian shakes his head, blinking straight ahead. “N-no, I was just checking my blind spot.”

That only makes you blush harder because in what crazy world would he be looking at you? 

A single nod. The car is quiet apart from the sound of his hands moving against the steering wheel, and the sound of the blinker clicking. It’s gloomy, too. You clear your throat. “I love it when it rains.” He hums, calmly, encouraging you to continue. “It just makes me happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” You purse your lips. “I sort of wish I were home. That way I can snuggle near the window and fall asleep to the sound of light drizzle.”

The brunette quirks a brow towards the road. “That sounds nice. Like…really nice.” A pause. “Why can’t you do that here, though?”

Here—here means where you are right now. Here means this place that’s not home. Here is not close to being enough, but he doesn’t figure that one out. You blink, dragging your finger along the pink box sitting on your lap. “Trust me, I’ve tried.” A small shrug. “But it’s just not the same, y’know? There’s always something missing.”

He doesn’t waste a moment in asking. “What do you think that is?”

Taken aback by his inquiry, you let yourself surmise for a second or two before licking your lips. “Maybe a pup. To keep me company”

He semi-frowns, cocking his head to send you a deadpan expression. “A dog?”

Now it’s your turn to frown, sending him a glare. “What were you thinking?”

The red light lets him take focus on you. “Dunno. A boyfriend, maybe?”

You’re sure you’re nearly as tomato red as the light staring at you both. “What? You instantly just assume I don't have one already?”

He freezes. “Well, I, um…t-that’s not what I meant—”

“Look, I know I’m not a guys’ typical ‘dream girl’, but sheesh I’m not that unlovable. At least, I hope not, but now you’re making me second guess. I mean, your opinion must indicate everyone sees me as some sort of lonely widow.”

Oscar shakes his head, adamantly. “I don’t see you as such.” A slow pause. “A lonely widow, I mean. I find your words to not be all that true, really. You’re nice. You’re persevering, You’re beautiful. And you have a good heart.” The light translates back to green, and you’re freakishly thankful, that way he can’t see you burn up. “You could easily be anyone's dream. Whoever makes you think otherwise is a phony.”

It’s getting harder not to laugh—most likely out of skeptic shock—but you refrain. He’s simply being kind with you, but that doesn’t stop you from nearly going into cardiac arrest. His words should have been labeled with a warning. 

“Guess this world is filled with lots of phonies.”

He scoffs. “There shouldn’t be. Not when it comes to a girl like you.”

Your breath catches. “Os—”

All of a sudden, the car comes to a harsh stop, sending you flying, but not the Australian, who remains sitting up straight. An older man flips him off before riding off on his bike. You both breath hard, turning to face each other. 

“Are you okay?” he questions, voice laced with worry. 

You nod, slightly dazed. “I, um—yeah. Are you?”

A nod. “I didn’t even see where he came from.”

A weak laugh finally erupts. “Blame it on the poor innocent man— clever.”

Brown eyes soften. They flicker from your orbs back to your pouty lips. He’s only checking if you’re okay, of course. You send him a reassuring bow and he releases a heavy breath. 

“Guess I was too focused on my blind spot, once again.”

The next decision comes when you opt in to join your neighbor, Mr. Lennon, for a cup of tea after he finds you shivering. By that time, it’s raining hard, you're soaking wet, and it only makes sense to accept his kind offer. 

“Mint. To hopefully push back any upcoming cold. God, what were you thinking?”

You let out a laugh. “Not much. That’s why I was aimlessly roaming.”

“What about now?”

You halt, mug raised up to your chapped lips. “What about now?”

He smiles, softly, mixing his own tea with a heavy spoon of honey. “Did the walk help? Were you able to get the wheels rolling?”

Now you giggle loudly. “That’s not very nice! The wheels are working just fine, thank you very much.”

The light scent of pine trees enter the room as soon as he stands up to open his window, the sound of soft rain singing to you as some much needed therapy. “So? What were you pondering about out there?”

“I wasn’t pondering.”

“Walking alone in the middle of a thunderstorm?” A sore laugh. “Been there. Done that. There’s always something on someone’s mind when that happens. Which isn’t often, or usual, so that must mean you’re really stuck up on something.”

“Or someone,” you mumble beneath your breath. His brows dart up, and you sheepishly settle the mug down. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

You blink. You don’t really talk about him out loud. Not with Lando. Not with Anastasia. Not even with your own reflection. Everything has always remained with you. A place you knew to be safe because you made it safe. But Mr. Lennon’s eyes prove to you that he’s lived enough lives—enough scenarios—to maybe understand. Even just a fraction. He watches you visibly gulp. And he knows that look. The confusion, the yearning. 

“I’m in love with this boy.”

He hums, leaning back against his wooden chair. “There’s always a boy.”

You look down. “He’s a friend of mine, which makes everything much worse because I can’t ruin that. But for the first time in all my years of living…” Round, glossy eyes stare back at him with a hopeless expression. “I really—really—want to.”

He’s attentive, he listens like some frozen statue, and maybe that’s what fuels your courage to continue speaking. “My entire life, I’ve had crushes, sure, but I’ve never loved someone. Not seriously. So, of course I’m caught off guard when I do feel that for someone who I’m not even in a relationship with.” A playful snort. “God, I feel so stupid.”

The silence that lingers is comforting. Your nerves flow away with the rain, and you feel at peace. Quietly, he clears his throat. “Can I tell you a story?”

A soft sigh. “I’m all ears.”

Gray brows furrow as if trying to recover a distant memory. “I once loved a boy, too.” Your eyes widen. Sure, you knew he was never married, never even had a kid, but you never thought of any reason as to why not. He nods, faintly. “Not many know, and not because I’m ashamed, not by any means…” A single beat. “But because real, sincere feelings are easier to ignore. Because who wants to deal with reality, right? Who wants to confess and be turned away like some dog at your door?”

Exactly, you think, nodding along. “Everyone is always going to be scared of something, but avoidant people like us are terrified about the what-ifs.” He sends a wink. “And I’m living proof that being that way won’t get you nowhere. And you'll realize sooner or later in life that you’d rather be nowhere with someone you love, than nowhere…” His eyes circle the nearly empty kitchen, despite living there for the past twenty years. “...all alone.”

Your chin wobbles. “You know you have me, right? I’m always next door.” A wet laugh follows. “Anyways, I might even join you in this lonely life, eh? Doesn’t sound half bad if I’m doing it with you.”

Tender eyes close slowly before blinking back at you. “No. I want you to be the complete opposite from me. Be different. Tell him how you feel. Even if it costs you a broken heart, tell him. Because I’m telling you right now that a broken heart is always better than the constant desire that will always follow you like the devil.”

A warm droplet rolls down your cheek as you sheepishly laugh, but he doesn’t judge. He never has. Instead, ever the true gentleman, he hands you his handkerchief. “Did you ever get the chance to tell him that you…”

His wrinkles imprint more vividly as he breathes out. “I did, but it didn’t really make the difference I had hoped for. He was already married to someone else.”

A loud sob escapes. “That’s not f-fair. You deserve to be happy with the man you love.”

“I do. But you know what?” You rub the tears away, eyes connecting. “I’ve made peace with the consequences of my own actions.”

By now the rain has died down, and so have you. With one last smile, Mr. Lennon gives your cold hand a soft squeeze.   

“Learn from my mistakes, won’t you?”

-

That same night, as you cried over a bottle of wine, you made your third and final decision. And you would execute it all the next time you saw him, no matter the outcome. 

But now that you spoke about it once to someone, you felt almost invincible. Which is why you called Lando. 

You what? 

A wince. “You can’t tell him, okay? I’m legitimately trusting you with this!” He opens his mouth, but you’re quick to signal him off. “Including Ana.”

“Wow. I thought she’d know.” You shrug because you don’t really have an explanation for not having had confided in her, but you know deep down that you’re not really into playing a game of Cupid, and that’s exactly what she'd turn this into. The Brit nods, sympathetically. “Alright. I won’t tell a single soul.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you going to tell him how you feel?”

His question comes out hesitant—like he’s afraid of scaring you away from the possibility—but it doesn’t. Instead, you nod, to which he’s extra surprised because you’ve never been the kind to. “That’s the main reason I told you any of this. Because I wanted to ask you if you knew if he has a girlfriend or not? Someone he’s trying to pursue? I’d hate to…intervene.”

Lando let’s put a soft smile, dimples imprinting neatly onto his face. “I mean, he’s particularly private—you know him—but I’ve never heard him mention having a girl. It doesn’t seem like he does. Go for it. What do you have to lose?”

“My dignity? A good friend?”

Silently, he grimaces because even he can see how much this all means to you—how much you’re scared. So, to boost up your confidence—which is something he definitely doesn’t lack—he flashes a loopy grin. “He probably likes you, anyways.”

You come to a fast halt. Suddenly, painting your nails isn’t your top priority. “Really? You think so?” He nods, and you can’t help but smile back. “What’d he say?”

“Well, as I already stated before, he keeps his things locked up pretty well. But I do recall one time…” He closes his eyes harshly. Then, he snaps his fingers loudly. “I believe in Hungary. He was on a high. And we shared a bottle of champagne to celebrate. So, he sort of let loose. Like insanely loose.”

“And?” you push, eagerly trying to get whatever he has stuck in his throat out of him. The green eyed boy snickers. 

“He wasn’t very clear, but he did say he had a crush on a girl. Someone he really wanted to get to know. But that  things were a little bit difficult.” You nod, urging him to continue. “I asked why, and he said it was because she had a good heart, or something of that sort? Good intentions? Can’t remember—and that he didn’t want to ruin it.”

Your breath hitches.

And you have a good heart. You could easily be anyone’s dream. 

-

Ironically, you’re huddled in Lando’s flat once again when it happens. Well. Almost happens. It’s filled with a few McLaren members because he insisted on hosting a nice brunch. And it was. Nice, you mean. 

“Pretty,” Anastasia says, sending a soft smack towards your ass. You yelp, swatting her hand away, and pulling your skirt downward. She snickers. “You should tie your hair up more often. Let’s everyone admire such an angel face.”

“Stop it,” you hiss, but can’t hide the pink flush. “But thank you.” 

She grins, eyes crinkling. Black hair sways as she moves to the beat of the music, nursing her drink. “Nice to have a break…”

“Definitely.”

At some point, she slithers away, leaving you all alone on the balcony. Which was quite lonesome until he came along. Oscar scrunched his nose, meekly. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. Don’t own this place, do I?”

He lets off a raw chuckle. Deeper than when you first met him, and you come to the realization that a lot about him has changed. His hair is longer, his neck is thicker, and his shoulders are wider. But his smile and eyes remain the same. Boyish.

“Thinking?”

You sigh, admiring the ocean set out right in front of you. “Thinking, yes. A lot these days.”

And if he’s patient enough, he’d notice the way your hands shake. Tiny vibrates, but still. He’d notice the way you bite down on your lip, brushing it along the way. He’d notice the way you blink feverishly, like even the wind hurts. 

And he is. He is a patient person. So, he does notice. 

“Do you know what song this is?”

Brows furrow, deep in thought. And he’s quick to note that the ticks you had are coming to an easy halt. Mentally, though, you’re cursing yourself out because you do know. You do know the song that flows nicely into your ears, but simply having him next to you is what’s making you forget. How dare he have that kind of power over you?

“I know it,” you start. “But I can’t seem to remember right now...”

The brunette gently nods his head along to the beat. His eyes close, and his hair delicately tussles, and suddenly he’s the only thing you see. “Sex,” he says. You blush, ripping your gaze away before he catches you in the act. Oscar laughs. “It’s Sex by The 1975. How could I forget?”

“Oh yeah.”

The guitar screeches when the volume somehow gets louder, despite not being inside. “Would have killed me not to get it right. My sister listens to it all the time.”

Plump lips pressed together. “You have a sister?” But you know the answer to that question, of course you do. You’re a girl. You’ve done your research, even when you pinched yourself not to. 

He nods. “Three, actually. Talk about a headache, am I right?”

And it’s almost nostalgic—your laugh. Like it might be one he heard in his past life, but in his current one, can't remember. But it’s okay if he doesn’t because at least he knows he can learn it. And he has. 

“You look really pretty when you laugh that way. Insanely so.”

You can’t seem to register his words. The way they come off as soft and ginger as they could possibly get. As if he really means it. And for the first time since your first interaction with him almost two years ago—you sort of believe he might. 

“You’re just saying that?” you question as some test, round eyes challenging him into finally spitting out the truth. The same truth you carry. He shakes his head, taking a step closer.

“I mean it.” 

Like a sudden magnet, you two are hesitantly connecting closer and closer together before either of you could stop it. Not that either of you would. The Australian towers over you, almost caging you like some endangered species he’s afraid of slipping away and going extinct. 

You swallow, lashes fluttering, and he smiles at the sight—melts. You’ve always been reserved. Quiet. Shy. And so has he, so he can’t really judge you, but he’s willing to be different—just once in his life—to get what he’s been wanting for a long time now. 

His eyes follow your lips. Admires how plump they are. How they’re the perfect shade of pink. So, when he leans in and you don’t pull away? He thinks he might explode with the need to kiss you. One time. If he’s lucky, just—once. 

“You’ve always been my dre—”

“There you two are!” Anastasia cheers, zigzagging to you both as an apologetic Lando follows right after. By now, Oscar has jumped far away from you, and you’re left feeling empty and lost, blinking at an alarming rate. “We’ve been looking all over!” A hiccup. “What were you doing?” Your lips remain open but Oscar is the first to let out an awkward cough.

“We were just talking about…logistics!” He turns to you, sparing you a pleading look. “W-weren’t we?”

You finally come to, nodding slowly, eyes buzzing between the two McLaren drivers and your best friend, who wobbles from left to right. “Yeah, I….we—logistics, and whatnot.” A beat. “Doesn’t matter.”

He flinches, avoiding your doleful stare. Oscar forces such a bright smile—the kind that can’t go unnoticed by even the biggest idiot on earth—and nods in agreement. “She’s right. It doesn’t matter.”

Lando analyzes you, then his teammate, and wishes he had done more to keep Anastasia from barging in. But really, was this some sign? Maybe you were some delusional little girl who truly believed she had a chance with the boy next door. The one everyone wants, but only one will get to have.

And let’s face it. 

It was never going to be you.

-

You’d make an excellent detective in your next life, you’re sure of it. But for now, you’re just some brokenhearted assistant who mourns the death of her what-ifs. Someone who is really good at picking up on clues. 

It’s right before Christmas—right before Anastasia’s birthday party—and you’re curling your hair quite poorly. You daze off every now and then, you apply mascara almost zombie-like, and you’re dreading even showing up. Have you been avoiding him? Yes. Yes, you have. Have you been good at it? Only the best, if we’re being truthful here. And were you ready to face him without feeling the need to bolt? 

Nope. Not in this lifetime nor the next.

But still, you force yourself to finish getting ready because this isn’t about you. This isn’t about him. It’s about being there for your friend. 

Mindlessly, on the drive there, pouting in the back of the yellow cab, you click onto Instagram and the first thing you do is smile at the birthday post Anastasia had posted not even five minutes ago. You scroll, smile wider, and then come to a harsh pause. The kind that makes your throat close up. The kind that makes you stop breathing. 

The kind that lets you know—

You’ve lost.

His arms are tied around her waist, his head nuzzles between her neck, but you can still tell it’s him. His hazel hair can’t go unnoticed. Maybe to someone else, but not you. 

Then, as if all odds are against you, your feed refreshes and you’re left far more dumbfounded. 

She appears in most of his pictures because why not? It’s his girlfriend's birthday, it goes as expected. Museum dates. Pictures of them with each other's families. And you feel greedy like never before because—why couldn't that be you? 

Venmo or cash? You look up, making eye contact with your taxi driver who looks just as tired as you. You press your lips together into a fine line. Digging into your purse, you grab all that you have and jump out of the cab. 

It’s chilly out and the lights are beautifully hung, but it doesn’t do you any good. You just want to go home. Curl up in bed and die. Dig a hole—self-suffocate—who cares. And you’re ready to turn around, go back and apologize to Mr. Lennon for not doing better. You really thought you had it in you, but it just wasn’t enough. 

Only then, the door swings open and Pierre curls a brow. Kika waves from behind “He thought you were some serial killer. He’s been watching too much Dateline.” The brunette scurries over, throwing her arms around you and takes a step back. “Come in before you freeze to death.”

But even that didn’t sound too bad. You sheepishly thank her, following the couple back in. A string of jazz cradles the warm lit living room and the scent of apple pie makes you inhale sharply. A giggle stirs up behind you. Anastasia grins.

“You’re here!”

All of a sudden, you hate her smile. You hate her laugh. You hate her entirely. But you also don’t. You can’t hate her smile. You can’t hate her laugh. You can’t hate her entirely. Because even though you feel like she owes you loyalty, that’s not really true. She had zero idea about your feelings towards Oscar and she won. Fair and square. That doesn’t mean you had to like it.

“Happy birthday, Annie.” Hugging her, you giggle against her ear when she jumps up and down, nearly knocking you two over. “For you. From me.”

She wiggles her neat brows, green eyes buzzing with suspicion. “Is it a vibrator again?”

You blush. “No. Even better.”

“Wow! Even better?” She rips the small bag open, eyes widened double in their size. “Oh my God, you got me the Mary Jane’s I wanted?”

“Well, you kept bugging me, and so I thought—”

“D'accord, je comprends. I love them, thank you.” Grabbing your wrist, she tugged you into the empty hallway, and you can already feel her buzzing with excitement. Your stomach churns. “I wanted to tell you as soon as he asked me out—I really did—but he insisted on keeping it between us two for a while, and I told him no, I had to tell you, but then I understood that maybe it was for the best, and I’ve always liked him—”

Every word makes you feel smaller and smaller because the light in her eyes gives it all away. She, too—much like you—is in love with Oscar Piastri. You shake your head, sharing a light laugh. “I totally get it. There’s no need to explain.” 

The green eyed girl visibly relaxes, shoulders rolling back. “I knew you’d understand. Oscar was right—you have a good heart.”

Ana, Yuki just spilled wine on your coach, Daniel rattles from the other side of the room, pointing accusingly towards his teammate who rubs the cushion with his Dior sweatshirt. She sighs. Be right back!

At that moment, you don’t care if you wind up with a deadly case of hypothermia, you simply walk out of the warm house.

“What are you doing? You’re going to get sick.”

Screwing your eyes shut seems to be the only answer to help your mending heart into not breaking completely. And fuck him—fuck him for sounding so goddamn caring. 

You turn with a soft smile, shrugging nonchalantly. “Won’t really make a difference, I already feel sick.” You cough for emphasis. “See?” Oscar rolls his eyes, ignoring the poor excuse, and hands you his puffer jacket. You shake your head. Take it. “No.” He frowns. Why not? Rocks crunch with every step he takes. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“What? Borrowing a jacket from a friend?”

“Borrowing my best friend's boyfriend’s jacket.”

His stomach drops, rolling with a wave of anxiety as he tries to not show his uncomfort. “She told you?”

Your teeth grind harder. “That, and you both posted about a thousand pictures together. Wasn’t that difficult to understand what was going on.” A sore laugh. “I’m happy for you two, though. Really. I am.”

“You are?”

Sending a nasty glare that you tried to keep in for the life in you, you turn over to face him, nose rosy. “Yes. Over the fucking moon.”

He flinches. “Listen, about that day at Lando’s house. I-I-I was caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have said what I said, o-or tried to kiss you—”

“You’re a phony, you know that, right?”

Another flinch. “I’m trying to apologize to you. I’m sorry. I feel bad, okay?”

Tears well up inside your eyes. Somewhere deep inside your chest, you feel a harsh sting, and still that doesn’t compare to his pity. You let out a scoff, crossing your arms. “You feel bad, for what? For messing with my emotions, or for getting with my best friend?” You poke his chest hard, but he remains as still as a brick wall, a pained expression mapped out. “Which one is it?”

“For all of it!” He grabs your face, making you freeze under his fire-like touch. “I loved you—God—I loved every inch of you. Your humor, your heart, your jokes that never land, the awkward giggles that follow afterward—everything. There was not a single thing you could do that could have pushed me away.”

“Then what happened?” you whisper, eyes tracing his pink lips, trying to enjoy his hands. They’re calloused, sure, but they’re by far the closest thing you’ve had, so nothing else matters. His breath hitches, soft eyes looking down at you in complete defeat. You grimace. “Why was I not enough for you to try?”

His hands drop. Brown locks shakes as he rubs his eyes, like this is all some part of a fever dream. Maybe it was. The Australian frowns. “I could ask you the same thing.”

It’s a slap in the face, and it burns like never before because you know he’s right. “I wanted to tell you!” A shaky breath. “I was going to tell you.”

Leaves rustle. “You were?”

“Yes,” you confess, nodding adamantly. “That day at Lando’s place—I wanted to tell you.”

The McLaren driver bites his tongue hard, blinking rapidly. “W-what would you have said?”

“That I loved you too.”

He can’t hide his pain just by hearing those words. He scrunches his nose. He nods robotically. And he keeps his eyes trained towards the ground, like he’s in the middle of solving a puzzle. 

“I really did like you. From the moment we met.” Finally, he looks up, round eyes searching for any sign of intimacy. If there’s any left—any you still save for him. “Do you remember the day we first met?”

“A little bit. Yeah.”

A second ticks by. “I do. Remember it all, I mean. Think back to it quite often.” He lets out a boyish grin, crinkles forming, making your heart flutter. “You took my breath away.” 

And as if humanly possible, despite the icy air, your cheekbones flush harder as you bite back a giddy smile. “You barely even noticed m—”

“You wore a white ribbon. Hair half up, half down. Denim overalls with your initials sewn onto them. Emerald earrings.” You blink, clearly taken aback by his polished memory. His eyes soften. “I’ll always notice you.”

-

Anastasia pecks the Australians cheek, giggling after each one. Oscar smiles, letting out a shy laugh. From the corner, seated next to Lando, you sigh sadly. The Brit bumps his shoulder up against yours. What’s wrong? But you must not have heard him, or you ignore him, but he, too, has eyes. 

“I swear I didn’t know a thing about them,” he whispers. “If I had, I would have warned you, you know that—”

“Lando,” you cut him off, voice weak and mellow. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”

He frowns. “I know that, but—”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat, this time more firm. He swallows, nodding hesitantly. With a soft laugh, you poke his ribs and he’s quick to let out a yelp. “Just want to forget, you know?”

Lando hums. “Understood.”

Anastasia clinks her spoon against her mug. The one you each painted differently in that one pottery class years ago. She grins. “I’m so glad all of you could make it, really, it means a lot.” Her eyes crinkle sweetly towards Oscar who traces shapes down her back. She blushes for him—the same way you do. “I feel like…I finally have everything I ever wanted.”

A string of oohh's echo the room, whistles ringing. She laughs, head falling back, and he lets out a single chuckle, rosy cheeks making everyone grow louder. Meanwhile, you stay silent, focusing on Lando’s shoes. The Brit winces, rubbing your shoulder awkwardly. 

Daniel yodels, raising his beer. “Well, in that case, I feel like I do too!” He hiccups, making Pierre and Yuki snicker. “A hot girlfriend, good ‘ol friends, and a nice pair of abs.”

“They are nice,” Lily mumbles, earning her a soft smack from Alex who rolls his eyes. 

Carlos cackles. “Me next—um, okay. A good team, my girlfriend, and…and—my hair.”

“Narcissist,” Lando whispers, trying to get a good laugh out of you. And it works. You giggle, muffling the sound with the back of your hand. Oscar perks up, orbs floating over to where you and the Brit whisper to one another, smiles only growing wider. His jaw clenches. Either way, you tune out all the constant chatter after hearing how Pierre was grateful for having a massive cock. 

“I really hope nothing changes between us.”

You laugh. “I think it might be a bit too late for that.”

The Australian scratches his shoes against the wet pavement. He agrees. He won’t admit it, but he agrees. Everything has changed. Timidly, he glances over at you, biting the inside of his cheek. His gaze burns—just like always—and you turn to face him.

By now your tears have dried, but your heartbreak still continues. Something deep inside tells you that it will for as long as you live. You despise yourself for letting any of this get out of hand. For letting your fear of rejection play a big part in losing him. He smiles.

“I love you, okay?”

You smile. “I love you, too.”

Your voice sounds sweet—just like honey. And if it’s a lie, just to make him feel better, then he’s a grateful bloke. He might not have your heart—not completely—and he might not have your hand in his, but he’s fine with that. Because he’s heard all he’s needed to hear. And he can live at peace.

Oscar grins, leaning down to kiss your cheek. It’s tender, just the way you pictured it. You smell like flowers, just like he had dreamt. He pulls away. “You can always talk to me. Whenever. I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thank you. But I won’t bother you too much.” His brows furrow, mouth opening to protest before you wave him off with a tired smile. “Don’t want to vent to you about…well—you.”

“What about you?” Anastasia squeals, making your jump in place. 

“What about me?” 

She rolls her eyes, theatrically. Oscar remains as still as a statue, enjoying the moment to admire you without having to explain why—all eyes were on you, after all. “Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted?”

Wistfully, your eyes look up, connecting with the ones you know so well. You admire his boyish features one last time before looking down onto your lap and then focusing on Anastasia.

“No. But I once got very close.”

taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious @notkaryna

[cvnt4him]

Save a horse-, ride a what?! ᯓ izuku midoriya.

synopsis ᯓ ❝ you meet a well-known cowboy around town! he seems awfully sweet and charming. He gets you out of a pretty sticky situation; little did you know it came with a price.. ❞

warnings ➪ bondage, spit/drool, fingering, ass slapping, choking, sir kink, size kink [slight], m4f

day 5, ೃ࿔ 𝑐𝑣𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯!

You were moving in from the city to the country. It was a sad change you weren't exactly ready for. Your grandparents were welcoming you in with open arms after you had to move. You'd been driving for some time already and had come up to a sign.

You sigh as you read the sign.

❝ WELCOME TO ‘TAFU! THE TOWN WITH PEP! ❞

It was cutesy to be honest. The whole aesthetic was welcoming.

As you sigh and drive through the dusty road past the sign you buckle yourself up for your future. The town wasn't exactly within range, it was a couple miles away. You'd be driving for quite some time.

A couple minutes pass as your car starts making odd noises. This has never happened before and to be honest it worried you. You try to push past it only for your car to literally shut down.

“ what?! no! no! no! damnit....”

You groan in annoyance and bang your head against your steering wheel. You let out a heavy sigh before remembering your phone!

With the slightest bit of hope still in you, you fish your phone out of your back pocket only to see....

“ there's no fucking service?! COME ON.”

You yell out. Anyone near would've been able to hear. You try your hardest not to just cry before you get out of the car to check the hood. Maybe it was your oil? Not that you knew shit about it...

You'd been on the road for about 5 hours. Who knew the city was that far away?

You lift the hood of your car to see smoke literally emitting from it. What the lovely fuck. You groan and just stare at it absentmindedly. What the fuck were you supposed to do?! You didn't know dick about cars..

That was your final straw. You slammed your hood shut in anger yelling out and stomping around before falling to your knees in the dirt.

You sobbed your eyes out. You'd gotten evicted from your small apartment in the city. It was expensive rent to pay and you only worked as a meet barista. The pay wasn't enough for you to live comfortably. You hardly ate and you tried your damnedest to pay your bills on time.

But it still wasn't enough. You felt so shitty for getting evicted yet even then you didn't cry. When you called your parents to see if you could come back home, or even for just a little bit of advice. They turned you down. Not offering a helping hand or friendly advice. They didn't care.

Even then, you didn't cry. You felt you had no one and nothing. You thought you'd be living in your car in the city. But even then....you didn't cry. You'd gone through so much and hadn't cried. It was about time you finally let it out.

The only reason you decided to move to the country was because in the middle of packing up your things you got a random call from your grandfather, telling you to come out to the country and see him before he died.

His humor was always different and you awfully enjoyed it. You couldn't help but to ask if you could say for a couple of months till you get back into your feet. Within an instant he said yes. You filled with utter joy. You wouldn't be lonely nor homeless!

But the drive was just so far.

Clearly.

You're stuck in the middle of fucking no where with no directions and no idea if you're actually going the right way, besides the sign you'd past before.

With your head buried in between your knees you hear distant footsteps. None of humans however. The way the steps clicked and clacked as they walked across the road sounded far too different from a humans footsteps.

“ y’ alright there, darlin’?”

At the sound of the husky deepish voice your heart jumps in your chest and you were quick to lift your head. Your eyes widened at the sight of the man atop of a beautiful and what looked like a well taken care of black horse.

The man was wearing a cowboy hat and a scarf around his face. You could hardly see anything other than his eyes and tufts of his hair peeking through the front of his hat.

You gulped and wobbly stood on your feet. Shaking off the dirt that got onto your pants and your butt. You clear your throat and try to speak before coughing.

The man raised an eyebrow and looks you up and down. Seemingly judgmentally.

You nervously smile and point to your car with a chuckle that seemed to never end.

“ yeah uh, hah! My erm- car just uhm, hahah! randomly stopped working uhm.. yeah! hahahah! hahah! hah.. hah.... ahem.”

The man scoffs before hopping off of his beautiful horse with a grunt. He stands tall, roughly by guessing around 6 foot? Wow...quite an intimidating height.....

He walked towards you, his footsteps heavy and dragging against the dirt. You leaned back against your car as he kept coming towards you. You gulped down hard trying your hardest to fight the warm feeling rushing to your face.

He stops directly in front of you. You closed your eyes before opening them again, it was as if he teleported in front of you. When you reopened your eyes your sight was met directly to his chest. You gasped before you looked up to him, who was looking down at you through his.....green eyes?

They were quite dark for green eyes....

He nodded towards your car before speaking,

“ may I take a look?”

His accent was thick, definitely fitting for the look. You gulped once more before stuttering out an “mhm..”

He tried moving to the side to take a look before you move to that side as well to get out of his way.

“ oh—! shit, sorry I'll just uhm...”

And to your luck, it happened again. You could tell he was quickly irritated and you groaned to yourself face palming and mumbling something before you felt large vient hands on the sides of your arms.

“ move.”

His voice was deep and undeniably sexy....he moved you to the side of him as he took a quick look at your car.

It didn't take him long to start working on it, rolling his sleeves up and getting to work. It was heart warming honestly... This random sweet man was helping you with your car..for free?! He didn't ask for anything. Literally didn't even say much..he just helped.

You admired him as he worked, he soon took off his hat and wiped the sweat on his forehead he set the hat down on the roof of your car before he got bacm to work.

You seen his luscious curly hair glow at the sides of his head, the forest green color was quite unique and oddly attractive. The sun shined in his sweat glistening body in such an enamouring way... You felt guilty for staring at him like this but damn can he work.

His horse neighed in your ear, scaring you making you scream and jump back. The side eye he gave you was so fucking embarrassing, he gave you the stankest eye before rolling his eyes and getting back to work.

You gave him an awkward smile before you saw him getting back to work. The way you wanted to commit horrible animal abuse is quite inhumane and probably would've landed you in jail. You swear the horse did it on purpose.

Within the next couple of minutes [45 minutes.] He was finished working on your car. He was sticky in sweat and car oil, he had taken his mask off to clean himself the best he could sighing heavily as he could finally breathe fresh air instead of the fumes from the car.

You swear this guy is a Greek god. His forearms were messy albeit but hot damn was he fucking sexy. His had boyish freckled peppering his cheeks and the longer you looked at him the more adorable he got.

It wasn't until he finally spoke to you that you realized 'damn.....that's a man....'

“ so the problem with your car is.......”

He started talking about god knows what and you couldn't even hear him. The way he looked you directly in your eyes with no fear whilst he spoke was....breathtaking.

Your eye moved down to his lips and the way they moved as he spoke. Slightly chapped but a hue of pink in color. His teeth were surprisingly pearly white aswell.... Now that you think about it, the smell that emitted from him was fucking sexy too. It was a mixture of sweat and just a bodily musk that smelled oddly delicious and alluring..

It suited him so well. Despite his boyish facial features he was nothing less of a man. He was strong, knew things about cars, polite for the most part, and just helpful. He was a divine human being with sexy features.

“ ...-so, ’ts safe to drive. course, i would urge you to please be careful until ya’ get it looked at by a professional. say...where er’ ya’ headed anyway?”

You didn't respond. Just so starstruck by this heavenly man.

He looked you up and down once more before paying a little more attention to you. His eyes followed the best they could to where you were staring, which wasn't his eyes,

His lips. The devilish smirk that appeared made you mindlessly bite your own. This time when he looked you up and down, he took all of you in. Inhaling to smell the sweet aroma that left you.

You were absolutely gorgeous. He scoffed to himself.

“ ma’am?”

The way you literally jumped back into reality was nothing less of embarrassing, the look he was giving you. You wanted to die inside of a hole. All of a sudden you felt as if you deserved for your car to be fucked up.

“ I-I am so.. so sorry I uhm...what- what did you say?”

“ why don't you let me give you a ride t’ where yer headed. might be safer than t’ drive that ol’ thing.”

“ that was my first car...”

“ ‘fraid to leave ‘er? think somethin’ bad’ll happen to ‘er?”

He teased you with a chuckle. He grabbed his hat from the top of your car and his scarf as well and tucked it in his shirt.

“ tch. whatever.”

You respond defensively walking towards his horse with your arms crossed. You nodded to the horse telling him let go and he quickly abliged.

He walked in front of you and hopped on top of his horse. Ushering for you to hop on.

You look at him as if he's crazy. There was no way in hell he actually expected you to get up there without his help.

“ awwh, does the pretty princess need upsies?”

He coos at you.

He snickered to himself before hopping down and hoisting you up with ease on top of the horse. He got back into and grabbed both of your arms and wrapped them around his waist. The way he pulled both of your arms made your cheek hit his back which was surprisingly very muscular and toned....

“ hold on tight...princess,”

The ride was long and you weren't sure if you fell asleep or not. Once you got to town you admired the scenery. Looking at the local shops and the people in town. They all seemed to wave at the two of you.

“ evenin’ zuku.”

“ howdy zuku!”

“ hello, zuku darlin’!”

You looked up to the green haired man who's tough demeanor seemed to change. He looked much more at peace, calmer in a sense. He had a bright smile and waved to everyone who spoke.

“ where are ya’ headed princess?”

“ uhm, I don't actually know.”

“ whaddya mean ‘you don't know’?”

“ I'm moving in with my grandparents and uhm. They haven't exactly told me where they lived. I don't get how they even managed to call me when I literally tried to call them before you came to fix my car and I had no reception.”

The scoff he let it was likely one of disbelief and annoyance.

“ y'know, just because we live in a lesser part of the world doesn't mean we're broke. We have reception. You weren't in town where your car broke down so ‘course you didn't have any service. ”

The way he spoke was definitely laced with attitude.

“ what's yer’ name.”

“ wh..what?”

“ yer’ name??”

“ oh... uh, y/n.”

“ and yer’ last?”

“ huh? oh, uhm l/n..”

“...l/n huh.. I know where yer’ folks are.”

“ you do!?”

The silence after you spoke was enough to make you cringe so far back into your skull you were sure you seen your next life.

You had your eyes closed as you guys rode the extra mile to your grandparents place. Once he spoke you opened your eyes to see a familiar house that hadn't much changed since you were a kid. The nostalgia hit hard and brought a smile and almost tears to your face.

“ we're here.”

You quickly hopped down literally almost falling asleep you did so. You rushed to the door and rang the door bell repeatedly until you heard an old man's voice.

“ I'ma comin’ damnit?!”

“ who the hell..— oh! pumpkin! Is that you!?”

“ hey papa!”

You laugh as you hug his tightly hearing a groan leave him.

Your grandmother came to give you a hug as well, the three of you standing in front of the door and laughing all together.

Izuku would be a lie if he said this wasn't sweet and wholesome. Because it wasn't he knew it was. He thought you were awfully pretty as well. It sucks you were a stereotypical bitch.

“ oh zuku, dear is that you! how is your mother doing these days!”

“ she's doin’ just fine Mrs, l/n. I've gotta head out y'all enjoy yer’ evenin’.”

“ nonsense dear, why don't you stay f’ dinner! you did us such a pleasure and brought our pumpkin home to us! It's the least we can do!”

“ well that's awfully sweet n’ all but I've gotta-”

“ c'mon in!”

Your grandpa was quick to get his horse to relax enough to lie down whilst izuku was on its back. Which izuku wasn't even skilled enough for that to happen.

Izuku stuttered on his words as he tried his hardest to say no but your folks just weren't budging. They were dead set on him eating with you all.

Izukus eyes turned to yours defeatedly while you looked at him with wide eyes and batted your lashes at him.

He sighed and finally agreed.

As you all say down for dinner you all ate chatted and you learned new things about your grandparents a few things about the towns cowboy.

Despite being handsome and awfully kind, he was humble, caring for all, and quite humorous.

All the jokes he shared with your grandparents were sweet and wholesome..... at first.

“ so y/n deary, any relationship we need to know about?”

“ yeah pumpkin. I want great grandchildren!!”

Your grandpa and grandma joked. Izuku wasn't..not, curious about your relationship status..

“ well I had a fiance but uhm... He uh, cheated on me.“

Izuku nearly choked as your grandparents tended up for bringing up the dating topic.

“ oh...I'm sorry to open that old wound, deary.”

Your grandmother apologized to you, reaching out to hold your hand. You smile and izuku just stares at you. No thought behind his eyes.

You gulp down and look back to your plate, playing with your fork.

“ yeah well, he wasn't right for ya’ anyways!”

“ what you need is a strapping young man, like zuku here!”

Your grandfather spoke proudly as he points to izuku with a smile. Izukus eyes wide as he lets out a “hm“ in acknowledgement.

Your grandmother claps and giggles.

“ oh yes! That would be amazing! Imagine that!”

“ yeah....imagine...”

You sulked in your chair. It seemed like izuku was more distant than when you first met. It's not like he was just talkative at first but now it's like he doesn't even want to be in your presence.

“ hm, yeah maybe. I mean who knows.”

You perked up and turned to the man next to you eating. You eyed him for a moment until he glanced at you. Your grandparents just silently watched the interaction go down. He looked at you with those dark and daring green eyes..God it's like you could get lost in them.

“ you should take ’er out! how about she walks you home!”

Your grandfather insisted.

“ what? I'm sorry I don't mean to offend, Mr, l/n, but it's far too dark out there for a lady like herself to be walkin’.”

The way he spoke was just so...perfect. he was perfect. He cared about you in some way. Maybe you hadn't fucked up after all!

Maybe...you had a chance!

“ I uhm.. don't mind walking with you, if you'd want me too that is....”

You shy away from him and his gaze as you insist. He looks at you before back to your grandparents.

“ no.”

His voice was cold and harsh. One word cut you like a knife. You gulped down and bit your lip, the rejection really really hurt.....

“ I'd better head out. night ’all.”

Everyone said their goodbyes as izuku walked out and headed back to his place in his horse. You closed the door behind him and walked to your bedroom. It was empty and had a nice bed however. It was quite big and they gave you fresh sheets and a blanket and pillow. Straight from the drier.

You sigh and lie down. You didn't have a fresh change of clothes so your grandpa agreed tomorrow he'd take his truck down to where your car is stranded and would pick it up.

The next day had came and you were able to shower! Your grandfather had actually gone in the middle of the night and made sure to have it back for you once you woke up!

You thanked him and showered putting on some cute little skirt and white shirt and some random accessories you could find.

“ y/n, deary, do you mind heading down to the shops to fetch me some milk for breakfast! It's not too far from here!”

“ alright granny.”

You headed out and got yourself ready for the walk. You looked at your car as you past it by. Your first baby, lord knew how long it'd be before you got to drive it again. He also knew it'd probably be hella expensive.....

Upon arriving you see tons of people out. They were all nice enough to give you a hello or how are you doing today which was sweet. Most people in the city just mean mug you or bump into you. It's a nice change.

You walked into the market and grabbed the milk quickly fishing out your wallet. Just as you were about to leave you bump into none other than the towns local cowboy himself.

“ welcome zuku’, here f’ yer’ regular?”

“ yup.”

He looked over at you now standing beside him to quickly get out of his way. He nodded at you before grabbing the bags the person at the front had for him. Paying quickly then walking past you.

“ hey! hey wait!!”

You yell out to him causing him to stop and turn to look at you.

“ somethin’ the matter?”

“ uh.. I uh.. just. would you like, maybe wanna grab a bite? some time? maybe.....?”

His eyes widened at your sudden ask. It's not like izukus never been asked out before. He has tons of people constantly complimenting him and telling him how sweet he is. He's had tons of ladies swoon for him and even mothers try and get with him. He just normally thought dating was a waste of time.

Izuku is a hard working man and of course he's dreamt of having a wife and settling down and starting a family but he had to take care of his mother first. He wants to make sure that his mother has all that she needs and wants.

“ if yer’ asking because of what went down durin’ dinner the other night, —”

“ yes well I just-”

“ I only said that to keep them offa yer’ back. y'know make them think about it. I don't have time for somethin’ as silly as datin’.”

“ oh-!”

Oh.

He turned around and hopped back on his horse holding his back tightly as he looked down at you. The way your lip quivered lightly and you looked at the ground. It was quite the sight to see....maybe he liked seeing you crying. He smirked.

“ but uh, maybe I could still show ya’ a good time, hm? y'know for me fixing yer’ car n’ what not.”

You were stunned as your head shot up to meet his gaze. The shit eating smirk he had on his face as he sat atop of his horse.

“ hop on princess, lemme take ya’ back and we can uh....get down to business, eh?”

You gulped and climbed atop of the horse the best you could, literally falling off. He sighed at the pathetic attempt and hopped down to put you up there.

“ hold on tight princess. unless you uh, know how to ride?”

The way he looked back at you with a mischievous glint in his dark eyes, his smirk was sexy and so was he. You could tell he meant something by his words but you were speechless. You huffed at him before wrapping your arms around his waist.

“ go on n’ take that inside so we can get.”

“ oh, okay...”

“ good girl.~”

You did exactly as you were told. The excitement and butterflies that swam around your tummy nearly made you throw up, all of a sudden your legs felt weak.. you placed the milk down before explaining to your grandmother you were going out with izuku. Of course she had no problem with that ushering you out the door and telling you to have fun with a wink.

He helped you back up and the two of you rode down to his house.

“ this is where you live...it's beautiful.”

“ yup, ma is out with a couple of ’er friends n’ what not so ts’ js me. I've done all I've gotta do so I'm pretty much free.”

“ ah, I see.”

He unlocks the door and holds it open for you to enter first. He was a true gentleman.

You looked around as he closed the door behind the both of you and set his hat down. You both took your shoes off before he directed you to his room which was quite fitting for him....for the most part.

“ Is that....all might? that actor from that one TV show? what was it....”

The blush that rushed to his face was adorable to say the least. He groaned and closed his closet door which held all of not most of his all might merchandise.

He sighed and plopped onto his bed, lying back and closing his eyes. You sat on the literal edge of his bed with your knees together and your hands onto them, your back stiff and straight as a board.

Izuku looked at you to see what you were doing. Surprise surprise, you were literally js sitting there looking around.

“ ya’ can relax y'know. we're supposed to be hanging out, sit back and make yourself comfortable I don't mind.”

You jolted at his voice. It was quite soft actually. You cleared your throat and got more comfortable on his bed sitting with your legs crossed and you faced him.

He hummed and watched you closely, just staring at you whilst you looked at him and gulped.

“ c’mere.”

Izuku motions for you to come closer with his finger. You do exactly as you are told once more which brings a small smile to his face. Once you get closer he grabs you by your hips and pulls you on top of him. The squeak you let out went straight to his lower tummy. There was a feeling erupting inside of him.

Izuku wasn't one to have a lack of self control but for some reason.......he just wanted to devour you.

You sat atop of him and he lifted up a little resting his back against his headboard which was quite wobbly. He held your waist tightly and bit his lip. Looking up at you and how you just barely towered over him.

Your breath was picking up just from the way he held and looked at you. His fingers started digging into your skin. The way he gently rubbed circles in the spot whilst hardly pressing down surprisingly felt....good.

He felt the way your cunt twitched on his thigh from the way he touched you.

He leaned In closer to your ear and whispered lightly,

“ d’ya want me, princess?”

All of a sudden the name made you feel some type of way. A sudden urge building inside of you. You wanted him and little did you know, he wanted you more.

You nodded your head before one of his hands moved to your ass giving it a quick harsh squeeze making you squeak.

“ use yer’ words baby.”

But you couldn't. You didn't trust yourself.

It had been a while since you've been intimate with anyone. You hadn't felt this way in quite some time. You didn't trust that your words would pull through. Maybe they'd get caught in your throat and make you choke on nothing, ruining the mood!

Or maybe worse.....you'd accidentally whine whilst you spoke letting him know you were desperate?!

You just looked at him in silence furrowing your brows at him in a pleading manner. But that wasn't enough for him.

A frown appeared on izukus face as he tsked. He was so disappointed. He expected you to abide by what he said like the good girl he knew you were. Maybe you just needed a little....coaxing.

He lifted your skirt and slapped your ass harshly making you yell out, he was quick to pull you into a hug and you buried your face in his neck sniffling lightly at the intense action. Your skin is still stinging and slightly turning red. In his opinion he hardly touched you but the way it felt....damn did it hurt.

He rubbed the skin where he hit you and cooed at you.

“ awwh... my pretty princess... that didn't feel good did it? so I'll tell ya’ again....use yer’ words.”

You sniff in his ear and muster up the best words you can think of.

“ yes.. I.. I want you ’zuku.”

Your voice was breathy and whiny, clearly desperate and needy for him. He seen that, he heard it. He could practically feel it with the way your cunt was twitching in his thigh. It really got him off, his hardening cock pressing against your ass.

And goodness, the way you said his name. It was so whiny and breathy, fuck.....

He sucked in through his teeth and held you close, gently using his hands to grind your body down on his. He groaned within an instant the second you started doing it on your own, rocking back and forth on his thigh, your ass rubbing his cock so deliciously.

The clothes at the top of hid cock giving him more friction, his eyes fluttered thank the kord you couldnt see it with how your face was still stuffed in his neck getting high off of his smell.

But fuck, he wanted to see your face. Many things started clouding his mind but they all vanished instantly once he heard the tint mewl that left your pretty lips. His eyes widenend and his grip on your body tightened.

A small growl left his throat as he rolled his eyes back and let you grind on top of him to your hearts content.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and began grinding harder and faster against his thigh, feeling the way your panties brushed roughly against your clit they were getting damp from how wet you were.

You couldn't help but to feed into the desperate urge to chase after your own orgasm. You groan lightly before moans started leaving your lips, your eyes rolling as you chased your high.

Izuku smirked at all the noises you let out for him. You were moaning because of him, you felt good because of him.

His cock was twitching and leaking so much precum through his pants. He groaned and tried his hardest to hold back and wait for you to cum first. Everything holy knew he wanted you to cum before him.

But with the way you were grinding on him he wasn't sure he would last.

“ f...fuck. c'mon baby, c'mon. ju...- just’ a lil’ more...”

his eyes squeezed shut as he held you as close as possible letting you grind as much as you want.

He expected you to keep going until he came but unfortunately for him, you'd already cum and were growing tired. You slowly ground down onto him trying to catch your breath.

His eyes shot open and he turned to you breathing heavily as his cock jerked and ached against the cheek of your ass.

“ ‘s that the best y’a can do?”

Before you could answer or even question him he pushed you black slightly to unbuckle his belt. The clacking of the metal part against the other coming undone. You could see just how needy he was for you. His cock was drenched in his own pre. It was the most adorable thing in the world to you, and fuck, there was just so much.....

He watched the way you eyed his every moved, watching as he slowly teased you stroking his thick and wet cock through his soiled boxers. You could see more pre bead at the top of his cock through the already soaked boxers. He quickly smeared it with his thumb and let out a shaky sigh. The sigh he let out caused you to whine lightly above him making him laugh at the desperation.

“ needy are we darlin’.”

He finally pulled his boxers down just enough for his fat sticky cock to spring free. The way it bounced up before falling against his tummy. He was well shaved down there, slightly trimmed green tufts of hair sticky with his pre.

The only thing you could think about was the fact his cock was so huge it couldn't even stand up on its own. It was just so fucking fat and heavy it needed help to stand up. You were sure it would plug you so good, and so was he. He could only imagine how wet and ready you were for him.

Before you could fulling soak in this thick and awaiting cock he picked you up and moved your panties to the side, sliding his fingers inside of your cunt quickly just to give you a quick stretch.

“ o..oh my...mmph..”

“ damn baby, so fuckin’ tight..”

“ won't be able t’ fit in here if ya’ aren't stretched...”

His fingers worked wonders, so thick and strong inside of you. He fingered you with ease, touching every spot inside of you that he could, he was quick to apply his thumb as well to help aid pressure to your clit.

A gutteral moan left you as you nearly fell over, getting light headed from the pleasure, your eyes fluttered and your mind was getting hazy.

He reckoned you were bout ready to take him.

He took his fingers out of you before slurping all of your essence off of them. Letting his tongue lick the pad of his own fingers to taste every last bit that he could. He groaned at the taste alone, his cock twitching against his tummy and a drip of precum sliding down the tip.

Izuku popped his fingers out of his mouth and lifted you once more, he sat in his hand and rubbed it all across his sticky cock. It wasn't that either of you weren't slickened enough, it's just that you were terribly tight which isn't a bad thing necessarily but he wanted this to be as pleasureful as possible.

He stroked his cock a couple of times with a shaky breath before putting his tip to your hole, he exhaled heavily at the warmth of your cunt around his tip. He could feel you twitching on it.

He gulped down before shoving it inside all in one go making you yelp.

“ oh! my.....god!- izuku— ”

“ ngh... damn.. I know darl, I know just.. fuck. take it f’me.”

The way he demanded you take it was hot nonetheless. But you couldn't exactly do that. He was so big and you were so tight neither of you could exactly move, just so stunned against each other from the sheer feeling of one another.

Izukus breath was shaky as tears prickled at the corners of your eyes. That didn't go unnoticed by him. He sighed before his kissed the tears away making you whine lightly at the softness of him.

“ sh sh sh, it's okay darlin’ I've got ya’...”

“ damnit...”

You whisper under your breath, the sniffle that left you made izukus heart break. He didn't want to hurt you, he wanted to make you feel good. And he only wanted you to cry if it was from feeling good.

It took you a while to be able to actually take him but once you did the pleasure truly began. Izuku let you go at your own pace, letting you ride him slowly to start to assure you were alright.

You held onto his shoulders for support, and just for extra he held your hips not applying any pressure or any weight, just letting you do you ,

You slight move back and forth on top of him, slowly to start. But then your clit brushed up against the base of his cock making you shutter. It's like it turned on a switch inside of you.

You started lightly hopping up and down on him your boobs bobbing as you did so. It was hard to keep a straight face when his cock was hitting so deep. And just as you thought, it plugged you so full the dirty sloshing noises that came from you both were just so filthy.

He watched very closely, a small smirk forming on his lips as he watched you slowly grow needier and needier.

“ oh god! Izuku..! Izuku.. fuck! I'm gonna..- shit!”

Uh oh...

That didn't sit right with him. He was quick to stop your hips from moving forcing you to sit fully on his cock. The moan that left you was so slutty. Izuku loved it he wouldn't lie, the way it got higher in pitch really did turn him on. But he wouldn't let what you did pass.

You tried to continue to move despite his harsh grip on your hips, he was quick to slap your ass with a painful hit. It made you jerk forward and lean against him for support, tears immediately spilled from your eyes. You sniffled and shook against him.

“ good girls don't use foul language.”

“ h.. huh--”

Smack! Another harsh hit landing on the same cheek.

“ did I ask you to speak? I didn't think so.”

You whimper against the skin of his neck, tears wetting his shirt as you sniffle.

“ yer’ gonna ride this cock n’ be greatful. g’na take this fuckin’ cock n’ say thank you. you fuckin’ hear me.”

“ y..yes.... Izuku..”

“ nuh uh... ts’ sir. say yes sir like the good little thing you are..”

“ yes..yes sir.”

“ atta girl..~”

He was quick to start you back up, letting you bounce on his cock as much as you wanted. You sniffled and threw your head back whilst you held on for dear life.

Your eyes were squeezed shut and your moans were coming out like a song, one that izuku swears he could never get tired of hearing from you.

As good as this felt and as much as izuku loved watching the way your body moved and jiggled against him. He wanted more. He wanted to feel more.

He was quick to flip the both of you over in one swift move without a word. Before anything could register in your mind he had began pounding you like there was no tomorrow. Stuffing you so full with his fat cock at such a fast pace. You felt so full and so fucking good. Your mind was turning to mush as he piston his hips into your ass.

His thrusts seemed as if they got faster and harder, the smacking noises seemed like they were louder as well. His his jerked into you at a god forsaken speed, making your head dizzy.

“ thank me- fuck.. fuckin’ slut. Thank me for givin’ it t’ya.”

“ thank you...~ than you s’much....!”

Your words were slurred and for the most part mushed together. But he wanted to hear them, hear them all.

“ yeah?, s’it feel fuckin’ good baby? tell me, tell me how good it feels.”

“ nngh... yes sir, feels s..s’good m’gonna cum... oh! p..please! please sir I wanna.. f... wanna cum..”

You tried your hardest to censor your speech so he wouldn't hit you again. You tried your hardest to be a good girl like he wanted but it was had. You felt too good you just needed to cum!

Izuku was surprised when you stared begging to cum however, that turned him on terribly so. A smirk appeared on his face as he dropped his movements, quickly pulling out and getting out of the bed.

The whine that left you was adorable to say the least. You hiccupped and sobbed at the sudden emptiness you felt. You wanted him to fill you up..

“ zuku please! pl..please!! js’ wanna cum!”

The sibs were getting to him. This is exactly what he wanted. But he wasn't done with you yet.

He left to grab a quick scarf. One that he used to tie your hands around your back. Once done he turned you around and shoved your face into his bed, he walked behind you quickly lifted his foot onto the bed and fucked his cock back inside of you.

“ fuuuck yeah baby.. take m’ fuckin’ cock, yeah?”

“ ohh-!.. yeah!, y-yes sir! yes sirr!~”

Once again you were fucked dumb in his cock, he thrusted into you while your bounced your ass back in his cock. He felt the way your cunt started spasming and tightening around his cock, he knew you were gonna cum.

Izuku was sure that's what you were trying to tell him though your words and cries were muffled by the pillows as he forced your face into them. He wasn't even sure if you could breathe but he didn't care. Not then.

He quickly grabbed you by your hair and yanked your face out of the pillows, tears streamed down your face and got his pillows wet, the small amount of makeup you had on like lip gloss and mascara was now smeared on his bed and tour face as you groaned and gasped for air.

He chuckled and he looked down and seen the makeup on his bed. He leaned in close to your ear to whisper dirty things.

“ fuckin’ slut loooves~ to be fucked like this, yeah? bein’ used like the whore she fuckin’ is hm?”

You nodded helplessly the best you could. Eyes rolling and tears still just falling down your slightly crusted cheeks. Drool was leaking last your lips as you groaned from the over stimulation, you'd had cum long ago, like 2 orgasms ago. You weren't even sure if he'd noticed but you didn't care.

You didn't care about anything while he was jackhammering into your puffy and over stimulated cunt. Izuku was really enjoying himself, he was also starting to feel himself teetering towards the edge.

He groaned deeply and let the pleasure take over him. He continued to hold you by your hair before stopping momentarily to change positions once more.

The whine you let out was whorish and as sexy as it sounded, it pissed him off.

“ shut the fuck up whore.”

A quick slap to your ass before he climbed on top of you and shoved your face back down onto the bed, this time your face was towards the side so you could breathe better, he still held your hair as he fucked into you roughly.

He huffed and groaned with each thrust, growls leaving him as he felt his orgasm approaching and fast.

“ god-.. fuckin’ whore, yer’ g’na take my cum in this tight little cunt hm? g’na take it all yeah?”

You sobbed and nodded your head the best you could before you felt his thrusts stutter. The groan that left him whilst he came inside of you was different.. it was slightly more whiney, breathy, whimpery. It's almost as if he was moaning.

His eyes rolled and his brows furrowed in a sad way, izuku literally started shaking from the sheer impact of his orgasm. It seemed as if it were never ending, his cum pumping you full literally overflowing at the sides where his cock filled you.

He sighed shakily and slowly pulled his cock out. You sigh and try to catch your breath before you feel a quick slap and squeeze to your ass making you jolt forward. Izuku used both hands as he held and squeezed you tightly, pulling your lips apart to watch all of his cum gush out of you like a thick waterfall of milk. The white color was so pigmenty.

It was pearly white to say the least, which was no surprise, he was a healthy person and maintained a good diet. He hummed in approval as he watched the way it all just kept spilling out all over his bed and down your thighs, you felt filthy. Utterly filthy.

“ hmm~ good girl. took it all inside m’ so proud of ya’.”

All you could do was whimper before you felt his hands rubbing your ass. Once the feeling left your eyes fluttered shut and you passed out.

Izuku however gave you a kiss on the forehead and ran a bath in his bathroom, he wasn't evil he'd clean you up n give you a fresh pair of clothes.

AN: this is SO fucking long. Even the smut is fucking long like damn. I was VERY descriptive with this shit LOLOLOLOL. Actually spent many hours writing this yawl. Love a little mean zuku hm!!!!

[plussizeficchick]

Close to You | Denki x Chubby!Reader

Summary; Denki doesn’t play when it comes to threats to your relationship, even at the expense of his friends.

Warnings: smut (p in v, implied cunnilingus, breeding kink (I mean it’s me😂) slight quirkplay) mean!Denki (but really only to his friend, he takes it out on your pussy though😣) dickhead!bakugo.

SN: I will be posting the Jungkook fic soon!!😭but this is just a little snack I had preplanned until then😉😂

You weren’t quite sure how you got here.

As soon as Denki stormed through your door, everything had been a bit of a blur. The only things you were able to make out of the senseless rambling was “fucking dickhead” “can make her come harder than anything” “gonna fuckin’ breed her”.

That, that had your pussy quivering.

While you were busy pondering what brought on this sudden shift in your boyfriend’s mood, Denki was thinking of all the different ways he was going to show everyone just how much you’re his.

— —

“Does he always talk to you like that?” Denki looks up at you from where his head is resting on your lap. “Who?” He asks, brows furrowed in confusion. 

You’d both decided it was time for you to meet his friends and he couldn’t have been more excited about it. You met with the group at a homey sports bar for the more relaxed atmosphere and besides a few minor flubs, he thought you all got along well. You and Mina made plans to get your nails done together, you recommended the rolling papers you use to Sero, and Kirishima hadn’t found someone with his sense of humor in ages. You even managed to bring Bakugo out of his shell, bouncing recipes off of one another seamlessly. So he wondered what went wrong.

“Bakugo, I don’t really like how he talks to you.” You try to convey without looking controlling. “Like when he calls you stupid and things like that. I mean he even had you running around, getting stuff for him today like you’re some “errand boy”.” “That’s just how he is,” Denki waves you off. He was used to Bakugo’s antics after having gone to school with him, so he knows better than to take it to heart. “And he doesn’t genuinely mean it when he calls me dumb.” He chuckles, focusing his attention back to what’s playing on TV. You sigh, a bit unsatisfied with his answer. “You know your friends better than I do,” You start, carding your fingers through his blonde tresses. “I just don’t think it’d kill him to be a bit kinder to you. You’re not in high school anymore, you don’t have to cater to him.” You say, pressing a kiss to his forehead. But what you said got him thinking.

— — 

If Denki was being honest, he was pretty accustomed to the way things were. And if he hadn’t met you, he was sure that this would’ve been his everyday life.

You hadn’t meant to initially, but you made him realize that there was a sort of hierarchy within his friend group with Bakugo at the head and after being with you for so long, he realized he was actually getting fucking sick of it.

Sure, Bakugo’s kind of behavior is expected when you’re a hormonal teen struggling with new emotions, but now it’s time to get a fucking grip.

He hadn’t even meant for everything to go down the way it did, but Katsuki’s nothing if not a shit starter.

— —

“and then Mina’s gonna pick her up so they can get their nails done. I’m pretty sure they’re gonna head back to (Y/N)’s place to get ready and we can pick them up from there.” Kirishima explained to Denki, whilst simultaneously narrowly dodging a blue shell in Mario Kart. Denki grunts in frustration, his character having slipped on a banana peel. “That sounds good, gives us plenty of time-” He’s cut off by Katsuki’s brash voice sounding from the couch. “Hey, Dunceface, go and get me a milk carton from the kitchen.”

Now, normally Denki would’ve made a playful comment about Katsuki being lazy before getting up and doing what he was told, but after being with you, after spending so much time working on bettering himself not just for you, but for himself, he’s not just gonna be walked all over anymore.

“Nah I’m in the middle of something, anyways, Kiri. I was think-” “HAH?! Did ya fuckin’ hear me? I wasn’t asking-” “Is it really that serious, Bakugo? I’m doing something so just get it yourself.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at Bakugo’s immaturity. Both Kirishima and Sero watch the display with baited breath, unsure why Kaminari suddenly has a death wish. Bakugo’s eyes widen at the blatant disrespect, sparks threatening to shoot from his hands, however, Kaminari doesn’t back down.

Katsuki narrows his eyes before a humorless chuckle escapes him, “Oh, I get it. Ever since Chubs decided to fuck with your dumbass you think you’re a big man. But no matter who you fuck, Dunceface you’ll always be the idiot who can’t function after using their quirk.” Bakugo practically spits. 

If Katsuki had said something like this around a year ago, Denki would’ve probably sulked and went to do what Bakugo had told him to, but now, he felt nothing but pure indifference. “You know something Bakugo, I really used to admire you,” Kaminari starts, a smug smirk making its way to Bakugo’s lips. “I really thought I wanted to be strong like you. But now, now I just feel sorry for you. I mean you spend everyday comparing yourself to Midoriya, you’re shitty to everyone who fucking cares about you and you’re so insufferable to everyone else that no one else genuinely WANTS to get near you.” A humorless chuckle leaves Denki’s own lips, grateful to finally get this off his chest. “You think people want to be around you because you’re cool when the only reason they can even stand to be near you is because of how dangerous your QUIRK is. People wouldn’t give a fuck about you otherwise.” Kaminari stands, collecting his stuff before moving towards the door, “I’ll see you guys later,” He emphasized to Kirishima and Sero. “Maybe you can get him to be an actual decent human being.” He scoffs, walking out of Kirishima’s apartment.

Bakugo’s left stunned, Kirishima’s shocked and Sero’s impressed. Though, it doesn’t take long for Bakugo’s shock to turn to anger, explosions ready to burst from his hands. “He’s. Fucking. DEAD!!” He exclaims, and that’s all it takes to snap Kirishima out of his stupor, trying his best to calm the explosive blonde down.

— —

It’s difficult for you to form a coherent thought with the sound of skin slapping against your ears.

You’re on your knees, arch pressed deep into your back as Denki slams his cock deep inside you. You gasp at the intrusion, but you have no time to recover as he sets an unforgiving pace. “He’s a fucking bitch. Doesn’t know shit.” He growls under his breath, hips canting against the fat of your ass, the sight of the rippling skin making his mouth water. You’re trying to talk, want to ask him what happened at Kirishima’s place, but then he’s slamming against that gummy spot deep inside and you keen. 

You’re limp, practically dead weight as Denki flips you over onto your back. He has your knees pressed against your chest, your pudgy tummy folded over as he slams his hips against yours, the fat jiggling deliciously. 

“Please,” you gasp, trying to catch your breath as he aims directly for your g-spot, your cunt clenching at his unforgiving pace. “Fucker thinks he knows shit about us, I’ll fucking show ‘im.” Denki mutters under his breath, cock throbbing at the warm wetness surrounding it.

He’s ravenous, tongue laving at your neck, sucking the skin harshly. You whine as his hands reach to pinch your nipples, your clit twitching signs of your impending release. “Please, baby. Let me cum, please.” You beg, tears threatening to pool in your eyes. The sight has Denki feeling a bit merciful, after all, you weren’t the one to rile him up. 

So he pulls back a bit, sitting back on his haunches to grind his cock deep inside you, hitting spots you couldn’t dare reach on your own. He guides one of his hands down to your clit, using little shocks from his quirk on the bundle of nerves.

The feeling sends a new wave of arousal gushing from your already sore cunt, but you’re nothing if not greedy for his cum. “Want you to cum in me, baby. Wanna feel you fill me up.” You murmur, cradling his face in your palms. You do your best to keep eye contact, though, with the way his cock is drilling inside you, the action is difficult. You connect your lips together and the act has Denki’s hips stuttering before he thrusts once, twice and he’s filling you up, snatching your nth orgasm unexpectedly from you.

You slowly pull away from each other, though Denki is sure to keep his cock nestled deep inside you, flipping you both over so that you’re on top of him. You trace shapes on his bare chest, slowly coming down from your highs. “You wanna tell me what that was all about?” 

Denki sighs as he thinks back on what led him here. There was no doubt that the dynamic in the friend group has shifted, whether that was in his favor or not remained to be seen but what he could see was right in front of him.

You.

You were his present and his future, and as he slips his cock out of your sore cunt and the rush of his cum gushes from you like a river, his mouth waters at the idea of this being his new everyday. He shakes his head as he pushes you to lay back, situating himself between his new home.

“Just wanted to be close to you.”

— —

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @cherries-c0la @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon @c0pkiller

[satorupi]

new to posting on tumblr, but currently thinking ab innocentgf!reader asking experiencedbf!satoru how to give him a handjob?? hear me out hear me out

you're still not quite sure what on earth brought on the urge to ask the question.

scratch that, you actually are sure -- you'd been dating satoru for over a year and some at this point (almost two) and the furthest you'd gone were heavy make out sessions and nothing more.

it's not like you don't want to do stuff with him, because of course you do. he's your boyfriend. he's kind, great on the eyes, so sweet to you. of course you want to do more than just kiss him.

you've been dating long enough and the trust is mutual...but the idea of being that intimate just feels so unreasonably embarrassing. it's so hard to get out your own head.

steam billows out the shower satoru currently occupies, swirling near your feet, a thin fog that leaves surfaces damp in the lightest bit of condensation. the words feel lodged in your throat, already flushing at the faintest outline of his naked body through the partially frosted glass.

if you're already embarrassed at the prospect of seeing him naked, how would you even ask the question?

it takes everything in you not to retreat, really. your pacing outside the bathroom for 5 minutes before you'd worked up the courage to come inside couldn't be taken for granted.

why chicken out now when you're already in here?? you'd practiced this, it wasn't a big deal.

"satoru?"

"baby?" he responds over the sound of the water, glancing backwards like he'd be able to see you through the glass. "something wrong?"

"no. no, I just uh..." your fingers toy at the edges of your shorts, rocking on your heels, "I wanted to ask you something."

"oh?" you can see his hands slow in his hair before starting back up, "well, i'll be out in a minute so-

"no!" the words come out in a rush, high enough to embarrass you. your hands squeeze at your sides, working up the needed courage to keep from retreating, "I mean, I should probably ask you now. kind of important."

there's a pause, only the steady hiss of the shower filling the damp air.

"...alright then," he said, a little slower this time. "what's up?"

the words come out one big breathless, a too loud tumble before you can regret it. the way they always did when you got nervous. "how do you...how do I, you know, give you a handjob?"

your body flares hot with panic with the clearly startled noise that leaves him, molten hot in the cheeks, already spinning on your heel to bolt. "never mind!" "wait-- babe! don't run-- shit, ow!" you're already slamming the door behind you and making a beeline to the bedroom. then a beat and a half, muffled from the distance,

"wait! i've got soap in my eyes!!"

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

the bedroom door slams behind you with a solid thud, throwing yourself into the bed and yanking the covers over your head like it would stave off the mortification. great, just great. you should've chickened out like you wanted to. dating the most effortlessly perfect man alive and you'd just propositioned...whatever that was. sex 101?

the bathroom door flying open and hitting the wall is noisy even with all the distance. "babe! where'd you go?"

maybe if you stay really, really still he might think you'd left. maybe you could just play dead, actually.

it's mostly silent, sound of your heart throbbing in your ears louder than anything else.

...then the bedroom door flies open, frame rattling on its hinges. "did I hear you wrong?" and he sounds so bewildered that part of you feels bad. "are you seriously hiding?" that part at least sounds humor filled. oh, so he thinks this is funny? there's the wet slap of his feet against the hardwood, getting closer and closer to you till the part of the mattress near your head dips with his weight. "..you embarrassed? is that it?"

you bury your face deeper in the sheets, teary with just how hot your face was getting, a pathetic little whimper being your answer. of course you were embarrassed, who wouldn't be?

"you're okay." satoru wonders if you know how cute he finds this all. his hand finds your head over the sheet keeping you hidden, smoothing his hand up and down just to soothe you. you drop a bomb like that then run away from him while he's incapacitated? how evil. how cute. "you were asking how to make me feel good, right? you can talk to me."

your nod is weak under the covers, mortification easing up with all his reassurance.

"come on out, sweetheart." he murmured, tugging lightly at the blanket. "c'mere. lemme see you."

maybe if he wasn't being the absolutely sweetest you'd put up more of a fight...but since he is, your head pushes free from under the cover, peeking out just enough to see him. your eyes find his face before anything else. crystal blues turned stormy, hair still partially sudsy w/ shampoo, a mess of strands sticking up in different directions.

and then?

then your eyes drop, you're not sure how you hadn't locked on that first because his towel is all low on his hips like he'd haphazardly wrapped it around himself, a very clear, thick imprint straining against the white cotton.

oh.

"didn't get to wash my hair out properly.." the words break you out your momentary stupor, now glossy gaze lifting to eye him again, blinking slowly. as if you care about his half washed hair right now.

"you wanted to learn right?" his hand still strokes the back of your head gently and you nod, fighting the innate urge to glance down again. to get your first proper look. you'd felt it when your kissing got too heated sometimes but never...not this. "i'll show you then."

and that's how you end up on your knees between your boyfriend's parted thighs. the pillow under the pair had been his idea to keep your knees from rubbing against the carpet, hands on your lap idly picking at nonexistent lint.

and satoru...well, satoru's still on the bed, of course. on the bed with his dick in his hand.

minor detail.

the towel's parted and resting on either side of him, cock hard and heavy in his hand as he grips the base, pearly droplet leaking from the tip.

from 'just kissing' to seeing him stroking himself while you watch -- what a jump.

you can count how many times you'd had to look away since you two had gotten in this predicament and it'd only been 2 minutes at best.

"no looking away." he murmurs, voice low, coaxing. wrecked already just from the heat of your gaze. "you wanted to learn, baby. so you need to watch."

his free hand lifts to cup your cheek, thumb smoothing along the bone before it's sliding down to cup your jaw. he tilts your face just enough so that you're watching, eyes instinctively dropping to his dick again.

the rush of wetness in your panties makes you twitch, unable to look away now that you seemingly had no choice. "good fuckin' girl. eyes on me." you barely register the little rush of air that leaves your lungs with his first upwards pump, stuck on his only shaky sigh, hand squeezing your jaw gently.

"feels good," he says, breath hitching when he strokes down and back up again, thumb swiping lazily over the slit. "s'much better with you watching. you're so pretty down there." satoru strokes himself from base to tip, letting his cock slip heavy through his fist. his head tips back just a little, exhale shaky with the effort of keeping his pace slow to demonstrate this properly for you. in all honestly, he felt embarrassingly close. didn't peg himself as some sort of exhibitionist, but, the more you know.

"not...not too tight, and then you can twist jus' like this.." and he does exactly that, breathing out a curse as he works himself lazily. his thumb smears precum over the sensitive tip, aching to be touched properly -- by you instead of himself. his gaze drops back down to you, watching you as you watch him. all curious, thighs squeezed a little tight, lip caught between your teeth. "you can touch it too."

you're not even embarrassed at how eager your nod comes, letting him lead your hand up to wrap around his cock where he's thickest in a tentative hold. it's silky and warm against your skin, heat pulsing between your thighs. your stomach curls at his groan at your curious squeeze, swallowing lightly.

"easy now.." he doesn't let you know that it'd been slightly too tight, he just wraps his hand around yours to ease your hold, stroking your hand with his own. once, twice. very carefully. "doing so good, baby. just like that."

okay, you could do this. it's just a dick. a dick wouldn't bite you. not his at least.

a little emboldened by his praise, you shift a little higher to get closer to him, hand lifting from your lap to ease his off yours, now doing the job all on your own. firm even strokes, slow enough to feel the throb of his veins and his dick jumping in your hand. it's a slick slide with all the messy precum he'd smeared, hand doing the twists he'd done on his own, eyes up on him.

if his head being tipped back meant anything, you'd say you were doing a fine job. "is it good, 'toru?" the brush of your thumb over his tip is a little clumsy compared to how he did it, but his hips buck anyway, moan warming your body. your stare is full of fascination at the deeper flush of the head, how another hot little spurt drools out just from your touch to coat your thumb.

"y-yeah. oh god, yes. it's so good." his breath punches out his throat in a gasp, jaw falling open. "keep doing that."

you're almost desperate to keep it feeling good for him, to make him feel even better. your hand pulls along his cock in perfect little pumps, riding the high of all the previous praise, drinking in all his sounds. the twitch of his hips, the silent calls of your names, him asking for more. you're properly getting drunk on it, riffling through your thoughts to find more ways to drive him crazy.

your mind mostly draws a blank save for one idea, not second guessing as you shift closer to lean in. the side of his shaft is far softer against the wetness of your tongue as you drag the appendage along the rosy pink flesh.

the reaction is almost instant, tongue not even making it all the way up. his jerk in answer makes you rear back completely, eyes wide as your hand quickly releases him.

you freeze, horrified at the look on his face. his panting. oh god, he'd hated it. surely. "sorry! sorry, did I do it wrong?! I thought it-" "no! fuck no, it wasn't wrong. holy shit--" he rasps, lips twitching up into a grin, laugh bursting out of him. wrong? how could it be wrong if his orgasm near raced up on him with the simple press of your tongue? "where the hell did you learn that?"

you blink up at him, all sweet and pretty, rubbing your lips together to savor the taste of him. "a video! the lady did the same thing."

he laughs again, all amused and carefree like your hand hadn't just been wrapped around his cock, like you hadn't just embarrassed yourself. "a video. you watched a video on this?"

you nod like it's the most obvious thing, "I wanted t'learn how to do it."

he can't fathom that you'd seek out porn to figure out how to touch him well. "fuck, you're so perfect."

his hand eases yours back upward, kissing your knuckles to assure you that no, you licking his dick had not at all turned him off or anything remotely similar. that has you more than willing to start back up again, more confident in your strokes this time. still a little clumsy, it's inevitable with your inexperience.

you know what he likes now, at least partially -- so you're in his space again, mouthing the side of his cock, tongue dragging along wet, hot flesh just as you'd seen. trying to remember parts of the video you'd been to embarrassed to even finish.

the pump of your smaller hand on him sticks to near the tip, lost in his noises as you kiss and lick near the base, nosing at his flesh. he always smelt so good but that freshly showered scent mixed with that of his flesh this close has your mind all foggy. your thighs squeeze together tighter to ease the building ache, panting warmly against the side of his cock, stroking a little firmer.

"god, you're a natural. please keep doing that." if the twitching in your hand was a clue, it'd lead you right to the conclusion that he was close. about to cum for you. your head lifts to look at him, lashes fluttering lips parted as you eyes him in awe. "so pretty--haah--love you, please."

you make proper use of both your hands, stacked one on the other to stroke and twist. it's that same pattern again and again, fingers coated in slick that smears down his cock over and over. "I-I know. I know it feels good." his sounds rise, hips bucking into the touch of your hands, one hand cupping the back of your head. "love you too. are you close?" "yeah, gonna cum...gonna--oh fuck." you barely know what the fuck you're doing but instinct had yet to fail you, his reaction proof enough. head tipped back, his helpless groans. all because of you -- you can't get enough of it. the shaft is occupied by eager hands with your stroking, head left too neglected for your comfort so you at least attempt to use your mouth there like before. no different than how you'd been kissing him and licking earlier. you barely get to wrap your lips around him really. it's nothing more than a wet kiss, a little lick at the tip. hands squeezing between firm strokes, mouthing where he's weeping for you. "babe- baby," he shakes his head, eyes rolling, delirious, "wait, don't. i'm gonna--" he'd tried to warn you, really, but he falls apart just like that. snaps like a livewire, pulsing in your hand as his hips buck, wrecked sound tearing out of him. the hand at the back of your head tangles in your hair, you barely have time to lean back as he falls apart. cum streaks all hot and messy ropes across your lower face and your hands, enough to make you choke on a gasp. on your cheek, the corner of your mouth. a little catches on your jaw.

you freeze up, hands slowing their stroking to a stop, quivering at how filthy it is. how hot it is. god. and you can't look away from him, not for a second. his stomach flexes, cock twitching with the remnants of cum emptying from his balls, dribbling down the length of him.

"woah."

the prospect of making him cum has arousal washing you so intensely that you have to close your eyes for a bit to get a hold on yourself, whimpering before you can hold it in.

your panties are properly soaked, clinging to you with how turned on you are, thighs squeezing together instinctively. doesn't help at all, unfortunately.

"holy shit." he finally gets out, still breathing heavily from his orgasm and the fog it left behind, hand loosening in your hair and sliding to cup your cheek.

the dampness against his fingers has him glancing down at you, matching the bewildered look on your face. "oh shit--" and it comes out like two octaves higher, it's almost laughable. all he gets is a surprised huff in your daze.

his hand flies out to clean the mess he'd left on your face, only smearing it on your face a little more. he hates the traitorous way his cock throbs again like he isn't panicking a little internally. this was out your comfort zone already now he'd gone and came on your face? "i'm sorry, pretty. thought i'd have time to warn you-"

your hands still hold his softening cock, too stunned to even give him a proper reply. "didn't mean to-- i'll clean it up, you don't even need'ta touch it."

maybe it's the surprise that has you not flustered from this? you're not sure, all his finishing on your face had done was gotten you wet.

you don't really think about what you're doing, looking at him through your lashes from down below, curious tongue poking to the side to taste some of what had landed.

sweeter than you'd expected, a salty tang on your tastebuds. maybe you should've just let him do it in your mouth? "tastes good though.." you murmur, rubbing your lips together, shifting on your knees. his rambling stops after that one comment, gaping down at you, red rising up his face, tips of his airs flushing with color too. mouth opening, then closing again uselessly. looking like he's 2 seconds from cumming again.

then he whines, whines like you'd struck him, flopping backward onto the bed as you blink up at him in confusion.

"babe?" your hands pull off from where they're holding him, placing your damp palms on your thighs as your mind races. "did I say something bad?"

bad? if bad meant perfect, maybe. if bad meant...meant absolutely soul crushing, spirit healing, spectacular--

"no." he croaks, shaking his head, cock already stirring. how do you not get what you're doing to him here. "no, you're perfect. nothing's wrong."

satoru sits up so he can look at you again, heart throbbing at your confusion. the little crease between your brow, the slick remnants of him glistening on your skin. god, he's so in love with you that it hurts.

large hands grab at you without warning, tugging you up into his very naked lap to straddle him, frantic kisses pressed to your cheeks. fully uncaring of the mess on your skin. "nothing wrong. you did everything right. fuckin--'" he smacks a kiss to your mouth, hands cradling your face, "soo perfect. perfect, pretty baby."

the laugh that leaves you is breathless, letting him dote on your for whatever reason, arms banding around the back of his neck as soon as you get a chance, knees on either side of him. gentle fingers take their time to wipe your face clean, transferring the mess collected on his thumb to his towel, kissing you here and there. "so messy."

it all makes you feel ridiculously shy more than ever, slapping at his chest, own fingers fixing the mess on his head. "need to get you back in the shower to wash this out properly." you still can't believe he'd been in such a hurry to follow you that he'd left his hair half washed.

his laugh has him shifting under you a little and it's a pain trying not to move. an even bigger pain trying to not acknowledge the heat low and building in your belly. if it was bad when you were knelt on the floor being handsy with his cock, this is 100 times worse.

the air between you two is unsettled as is even if you'd been joking since he'd gotten you in his lap. you swallow gently, smiling down at him. dipping to give him another kiss. "I should probably go wash my face...or something. I think"

you're trying, you really are -- but it's so hard not to move. so you do, a tiny forward tilt of your hips that makes your core heat, toes curling in your socks. subtle but he notices, mouth tipping at one side. "not too much shifting. I'll probably get worked up again."

your nose scrunches up, leaning into him to hide your face in his neck like that would help in playing it off. "just getting comfy." satoru hums, hands lowering to your waist to ease you properly on his lap. no expectations of anything at all, just making sure you're steady, pressing a kiss to your temple.

he doesn't mind all your shifting, not really -- but they aren't doing him much favors. he figures you're just restless after earlier, still shy about the intimacy of it all. "you're fine. we can stay like this as long as you want."

it would be great if it was just that but the throb is almost uncomfortable, only moving on his lap seeming to help. you can’t help the way you tuck your face tighter against his neck, breathing him in--clean, soapy, warm. even his scent has your cunt throbbing hard. "sorry. just...trying'ta.."

satoru isn't dense, he knows you're turned on by now. shifting to seat yourself better didn't feel the same as deliberately rubbing yourself on his cock through your shorts. he knows. but he stays where he is, lets you snuggle up into him, careful not to push too fast. even when you roll forward more deliberately this time as though testing how it feels he's careful not to react, just squeezing your hips lightly. "you're good, go ahead."

you’re not doing anything wrong. you’re just so sweet and worked up, trying so hard to stay still that it has his mind reeling.

you swallow hard, fingers pressing into his skin, whimpering softly as you rock forward.

yeah, he can't exactly leave you to your own devices when you clearly need something. "what's wrong, hm?"

he pulls back to look at you, heart near stopping at the glossiness of your eyes, the clear strain in your expression. still rocking your hips like you can't help yourself. "satoru," you whimper softly, eyes closing, shaking your head, "'nothing, but.." you're hot all over and your cunt refuses to stop pulsing even as you're grinding on him -- so turned on that you could cry. "it's not working." your hips rock forward again, the hardened line of him creating perfect fiction against your clit that only leaves you more desperate, drawing a low groan out of him. "I know, I know. you're okay--" his hands squeeze at your hips, drawing soothing circles over the fabric of your shorts. focused on keeping you settled and staying calm himself even as his cock stirs back to life under your clothed cunt. "just worked yourself up a little, 's all."

you duck your head again, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. “i dunno,” you whisper. “just…feels good. wanna keep--" your voice cracks, and you squeeze your eyes shut. "just want you to help me."

you swear his breathing stops too with how quiet it goes, keeping your face in his neck to hide your embarrassment. afraid you'd said something wrong.

"or..or not. I can just get--"

"--are...shit--are you sure?" he interjects, voice a little strained, hand coming up to cup the back of your head. you're already worked up as is, the last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you when you two had never gone this far before. "we totally don't have to--"

"--I want to." your head lifts out his neck, hips still rutting gently, lips parted. the sensations have you focused just on how thick and hard he is under you, how much your cunt is throbbing. "I want you to help me. please."

he doesn't think any other words are as devastating as those. "yeah. yeah, of course." he whispers, hands sliding up your hips, then higher to squeeze your waist. getting high enough to cup your face to kiss you again, keeping a slow pace. "gonna make you feel so good."

well, a second lesson wouldn't hurt.

sena's note: slept on it and it sounded okay on a fresh mind so here we are 🤧

desktop optimized, did it in dark mode but MIGHT look better in light mode bc of the red hues ‹𝟹

>> pt 2

[telephoniii]

what app do you use for your smaus cause i canNOT find a good one

okay… this was supposed to be a quick and easy answer.

i use social maker. i’ve had it since 2020. it’s my personal favorite smau app and a highly recommend it. it’s pretty easy to use and you’ve got a lot of options on what you can do with it.

but, i was trying to get screenshots of it in the app store to show what app it was and…low and behold it got banned??

only people who have had the app downloaded before can use it unfortunately 😭

i feel bad leaving you hanging like that, so! i went on a trip to find an easy to use, nice-looking smau app!

and i decided to make it into a kind of smau post at the same time!

so you can enjoy some TWST silliness with the first years while I rank these apps :>

SILLY TEXTS WITH THE FIRST YEARS (while I rank SMAU apps)

First Years NRC boys x GN!Reader SMAU

Warnings: mention of political figures in Faker 2, Reader is Prefect, suggestive humor, possible OOC

A/N: this shows how much I love to yap. I did this to procrastinate but it was pretty fun! How did I turn my response to this anon from a single paragraph to a whole multi-section post? I have no clue. My brain works in weird ways. I hope you enjoy :>

SOCIAL MAKER (what I use)

I use this app for a reason! It’s so easy to use and it gives you 20 max messages. Personally, I really enjoy the look of the app and messages too. Unfortunately though, if you didn’t have this app downloaded before it got taken down, you can’t use it. At least on IOS. I don’t really know the situation for Android 💀

5/5 stars!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

SOCIAL DUMMY

This is another app that you had to have downloaded before it got taken down to use it. I think it’s a really good SMAU app! Especially if you wanna do stuff outside of messages!! (twitter, instagram, youtube, etc.) The messaging system runs pretty smoothly, the only thing is that the max amount of messages is very short.

4/5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

CHAT STORY MAKER

This app is a bit outdated in my opinion. It’s kinda hard to use since you can’t exit out of the keyboard and get a clean picture of your messages. Also, when you close the app it doesn’t save ANY of your things. (That caused me a lot of trouble making this actually 😭). You can also only make two characters. However, it has good customization!! It has a very cute look and you can change the background + text colors. It’s also really easy to switch between characters which is always nice.

3/5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

TYPE STORY

This is the app that Social Maker actually made after their OG app was taken down! It’s, unfortunately, not super great in my opinion. I got really confused when I tried using it, even with a tutorial. Once you get the hang of it, it’s alright. The app just feels overly complicated. However, if you want to make SMAUs mainly with big group chats then this app might be pretty good for you!

3/5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

FAKER 2

By far the worse app among them all. It just reeks of money-greedy creators. An add plays after almost every action you do. (From customizing characters to sending messages, an add always plays) It was also quite confusing to use and you’re limited to three characters. There isn’t much you can customize either and it has a 5 message max. Also, it made me a bit uncomfortable because the three default profiles you have to edit to change into the characters you want included Trump and Elon… Yeah 💀. Not to mention that a lot of the adds were filled with AI videos that were just uncanny valley. Back on topic! The app locks a lot of features behind a paywall that doesn’t even seem worth it. I wouldn’t recommend it.

1/5 stars. ⭐️

TEXTING STORY

In terms of making SMAUs on tumblr, I wouldn’t recommend it. But, if you were interested in making texting story videos and/or publishing them on YouTube, this would be a good option! There’s a lot of opportunities for videos as it can automatically give you a video of you typing both sides. The typing sound is also pretty satisfying to me! Unfortunately, it’s not the best for tumblr SMAUs. There isn’t really any customization— you can’t even add a profile picture.

3/5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️

TEXT STORY MAKER

Okay, I did legitimately save the best for last. This app is pretty great. It’s easy to catch onto and gives you A LOT of customizable options: background, text color, group chat cover, etc. Also, there’s an option for it to automatically take screenshots of the text which is just so convenient?? But there is a pretty big downside. You can only make two characters. That really sucks.

I think that if you want to make 1 on 1 SMAUs similar to mine, this would be a good app to use. It’s gonna be annoying having to remake the profiles and what not, but I think the pros out weight the cons.

4/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #5🖤

🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛

⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic

⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them

⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost

⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously

⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though

⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better

⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too

⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful

⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you

⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol

⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot

⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person

⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive

⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it

⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not

⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you

⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this

⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love

⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment

thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info

©rosesnbooks

[ebodebo]

Rearview

a meet ugly with simon!

You’re late.

Like really, really late.

You were supposed to be heading into your lecture right about now, but instead, you're dashing to your car, struggling to balance the heap of items in your arms.

The lady in front of you at the grocery store insisted on having all her items perfectly bagged, and now you're running late.

Go figure.

You hurriedly toss your groceries into the passenger seat, forgetting all about connecting your Bluetooth.

With a swift motion, you buckle your seatbelt and shift into gear, only to roll backward instead of moving forward.

A yelp escapes you as you feel the sharp impact of colliding with a parked truck behind you.

"Shit!" You curse, slamming the gear into park before struggling to open your door, muttering another string of expletives as your seatbelt nearly chokes you.

As you step out, you're met by the sight of a man emerging from the truck you just bumped into.

He stands tall and imposing, a mask covering half his face, making it difficult to gauge his emotions.

His bright blue eyes are striking yet carry an unsettling darkness that raises the hair on the back of your neck.

“Oh my God!” You exclaim in a fluster, rushing to inspect the damage on his car. You run your fingers through your hair anxiously, trying to regain some composure.

“I’m so fucking sorry! I—I was in such a rush,” you blurt out. “The woman at the grocery store took forever; it’s ridiculous! Who needs groceries bagged just right? And my clothes, ugh! I forgot to start the dryer, so they’re still sopping wet! Just my fucking luck!” You throw your hands up in a mix of frustration and false enthusiasm, your words tumbling out in a frenzied stream.

“I’m definitely going to miss my lecture because of this, and my professor is already on my case, so this is just the cherry on fucking top of my terrible day. And—” You suddenly stop, realizing that you’re venting to a stranger whose truck you’ve just hit.

"Sorry," you say quietly. "I'm just having a really shitty day, full of shittiness."

"Shittiness?" He replies, a hint of humor creeping into his raspy English voice, catching you off guard since he had been silent until now.

You glance up at him, your lip twitching slightly.

"Yeah," you respond softly.

He pauses for a moment, taking in your sheepish demeanor.

"You hungry?" He asks, seemingly out of nowhere.

You raise an eyebrow, caught off guard by the question. "Hungry?"

He nods.

"Well—I mean…" you trail off, noting the damage before looking back up at him.

His expression is serious.

He’s serious.

Is he actually asking you out after you just fucked up his car?

"Are you serious?" You ask, hesitation clear in your voice.

"Do I look like the type to joke?" He replies, his tone dry.

A smile breaks across your face.

"No. Not really," you admit, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

You take a moment to soak him in.

He’s pretty…attractive now that you’re really looking.

Quite built and definitely older than you.

You wonder what he does for a living.

Or if he lives around here.

"Diner's right across the street," he says, nodding toward the quaint little eatery nearby.

It’s clear he’s trying to ease your worries.

You don’t have to get into his car with him; you could just walk over where there are onlookers.

Fuck it.

You’re already late for your lecture.

Might as well make it worthwhile.

"Okay," you say, your enthusiasm a bit more pronounced than you intended.

Your cheeks warm, but he remains silent, though you catch the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

"Let me grab my wallet," you say, reaching for your door handle, but he gently places a hand on it to stop you.

"Don't need it," he dismisses.

Your lips pucker in confusion. "But, I—"

"Come on," he replies, tilting his head towards the diner.

"Alright..." you say, slowly realizing you don’t even know his name.

"Simon," he provides.

You smile.

"Cute name," you compliment as you turn on your heels to head towards the diner.

Oh, now he's definitely smiling under that mask.

He takes you to the cozy diner and covers the cost of your meal, much to your dismay because, 'I really should be paying; I messed up your car.'

He brushes aside your attempts to pay him back, insisting that you should never front the bill.

"If you ever want to talk about your shitty day, just give me a call. Yeah?" He says, scribbling his number on a napkin from the diner.

"Yeah, I will," you promise as you reach for the napkin.

After your meal, Simon walks you back to your car, even opening the door for you as you part ways with a quiet 'goodbye.'

"See you later, Simon. I’ll text you later!" You exclaim, beaming with excitement. "I’ll send my insurance info tonight," you add.

He simply nods, fully aware he’ll delete that message later because he couldn’t care less about his car.

He’ll pay to fix it, along with your car.

Even if you fight him on it, he'll still do it.

He’s just so thrilled that a pretty girl like you fell into the palm of his hand

What a lucky bastard.

a/n: bring back meet uglies!

divider by @saradika-graphics

[larxicana]

PTSD Representation within DATV

God I just need to talk about how much I love how the game handles Lucanis's PTSD, especially as someone living with PTSD.

Spoilers for Veilguard and Lucanis's story line under the cut.

Grab a drink and a snack. This is a long one XD

After -checks notes- 450hrs into Veilguard, I can confidently say that Lucanis is my favorite character, and not just because of his lethal sad puppy eyes. For this post, I'll just be focusing specifically on his PTSD and how it's portrayed.

So we first meet Lucanis in the Ossuary, after a very dramatic slaughter of some Venatori guards. For a guy who has been locked up and tortured for a year, he looks pretty damn good. I know this is just game bullshit, but I like it from the perspective of a mask, a protective front. He looks collected, well put together, suave, the perfect image of a master assassin, a Crow, a world class mage-killer. This is kind of what someone would expect him to look like. This is what he's supposed to look like. He doesn't look like a man who has been tortured for a year, because it's hidden behind an acceptable appearance.

Of course the deeper we go through the Ossuary, we see evidence of the horrendous experiments that went on there, just a tiny fraction, a hint of what Lucanis went through. Then afterwards, he talks a little about his experience with the others as we walk around doing quests. One such dialog always stuck with me:

Davrin: So this Ossuary Rook found you in, what goes on down there? Lucanis: Nothing good. Davrin: How did you survive? Lucanis: Shut down completely. Think nothing, feel nothing, except what you need to escape. Davrin: What's left? Lucanis: If you're lucky? Revenge. And bad dreams.

Every time I hear this, I feel like someone is squeezing my heart with both hands. First of all, there's a very clear deflection in each line Lucanis says. "And bad dreams" is delivered with a touch of humor and lightness, the sort of tone that's used to make the person you're talking to smile or chuckle, which would diffuse the tense moment, take the pressure off of him and sweep his true feelings under the rug while Davrin is distracted from them by the joking tone.

Once again, that mask, that front, is in place. Davrin expects the events of the Ossuary to be horrific, so Lucanis plays a bit of the part, agrees that it was horrible, but it's so incredibly surface level, and he keeps it that way. As Davrin asks questions, tries to dig a little deeper, Lucanis pulls the card of "I survived the Ossuary and all I got was this stupid shirt."

The world conditions us to wear the mask; no one actually wants a real answer when they ask "how are you?" When we've experienced trauma, we hold onto that mask even tighter because we feel damaged or hurt on the inside. We aren't supposed to be that way, feel that way. No one wants to deal with that.

A Crow isn't supposed to be that way. The Demon of Vyrantium isn't supposed to be broken, damaged. He's supposed to be a professional, a master class assassin, the heir to the seat of First Talon.

We see a lot of Lucanis struggling with who he is after the Ossuary as well, which is one of my favorite details. There are moments, like after Weisshaupt, when Lucanis says "I thought after the Ossuary, I could still take out a target." Or when we first meet him in the cell, when Rook says Caterina promised them a mage-killer and Lucanis replies "I can still work." During the quest Inner Demons, there are so many thought fragment notes where Lucanis says he isn't supposed to be like this, that he's better than this, that he can't be like this.

God, breaks my heart. I empathize with that so much. Something I personally struggled with a lot when learning to live with PTSD was the fact that I felt like I wasn't the same person I was before my trauma. I was so angry, because I really liked the person I was before. I was happy, and now all of a sudden, I felt like the exact opposite. For quite some time, I couldn't think of it as anything else. I didn't want to move forward, because that would be accepting that I've changed.

Then there's the expectation of living up to what people remember you as and the shame when you fall flat and the people you care about see that shortcoming. You feel like a burden. They didn't sign up to deal with your bullshit.

Think of it like carrying an overcrowded tray of drinks. It's heavy, cumbersome, and any jostle to your person spills a little bit of that water. Any obstacle, big or small, threatens the delicate balance of the sudden armful of crap you're forced to carry. And when you do fumble, make a mistake, step where you thought there was solid ground, only to find a pot hole, those glasses come crashing down in a loud and explosive commotion that draws the attention of everyone around you. All of a sudden you're soaked, surrounded by the signs of your failure, and you feel so embarrassed and ashamed because you just caused a scene. All of a sudden, people are asking if you're ok, and we all know that just makes it worse. They either offer to help you clean up or eye the mess with judgement and neither of those options feel good.

Lucanis is a mage-killer. He was hired to kill mages, something he's done hundreds of times. And yes it's a near impossible task and he gets so close the first time, but when his reality and sense of self is already shaken, any little jostle can threaten the delicate balance he's trying to hold on to.

-

Inner Demons is probably my favorite quest out of the entire game. It is such a fantastic representation of how PTSD feels to the body and the mind.

Before Spite even pulls Rook into his host's mind, we see that Lucanis is extremely irritated. He is extremely quick to anger, which was something we haven't really seen from him before. He's gotten annoyed with others, but never raised his voice. Here, he's snapping at Viago and growling about how he doesn't know how to deal with the situation. Teia is definitely not helping when she tells Lucanis to reason with Viago, applying more pressure when the poor thing is already pulled so tight, he's about to break.

A common symptom of PTSD is that sudden and explosive anger at seemingly small things. I once got so mad while trying to hang curtains, that I literally ripped the bracket out of the wall, threw it, screamed, then broke down sobbing.

Once Spite pulls Rook into Lucanis's mind, they're confronted with four different people they have to get past to get to the heart of the prison, where Lucanis has barricaded himself. It's pretty obvious these are protective walls he's built for himself, to keep people out and to keep the parts of himself he's ashamed of inside. However, we can already see these walls starting to crumble, because the first room Rook steps into, the outer most wall, is supposed to be their room.

Rook: Nobody's here. Spite: Of course not. Rook can't be here. Rook: Why not? Spite: You open doors. You don't close them.

Through the constant support Rook has given Lucanis, he's starting to allow some of the damaged parts of him show around them, whether it's a conscious or unconscious decision. He's starting to feel safe around them.

This is massive. I mentioned above that showing that vulnerability, that "damaged" side of one's self can be full of so much embarrassment and shame, but finding those people you can be your entire self with? Scars and breakdowns and everything, and they still love and support you without judgement? That shit is priceless. I can't put into words how good that feels. I love seeing Lucanis find that person. (I love being that person when I play the game.)

Deeper into the prison, Rook meets with Lucanis's version of Caterina, Harding, Neve, and Illario, each getting more vulnerable with what they say and represent.

I like Harding's scene in particular. If Rook takes Harding with them to free Lucanis, she is not quiet about how she doesn't trust Lucanis, how abominations only bring trouble and pain. Then afterwards, she boldly threatens him with a rather twisted arrow, one she bought specifically to use against him, should he turn against her and her friends. Later on, well before the Inner Demons quest, they have this conversation:

Lucanis: Harding, I am giving the arrow back to you. Harding: What? No! I gave you that to show you that I trust you. Lucanis: And I am giving it back to show that I trust you.

Beautiful. Stunning. One of my favorite party dialogs in the game. It shows their development perfectly, and all with just 3 lines.

But it makes her appearance in the prison fantastic, because Harding refers to Lucanis as "the prisoner," boldly asks Rook if they're sure there ever was a Lucanis and not just the demon, and points out that the mind they're standing in is broken and wrong, that it can't possible belong to a human being. Lucanis trusts Harding at this point, he knows this, understands this, but trauma and fear are never logical. You can know and understand something perfectly, but that doesn't mean your body is going to listen.

Illario gets a really good line, too.

Illario: He'll [Lucanis] carry this prison with him forever, and fill it with corpses, given time.

The theme of the prison is that Lucanis sees himself as a monster after coming back from the Ossuary as an abomination (btw I hate this term and want to burn it out of the game universe.) So, this line is probably talking about how freeing Lucanis from his mind prison would get people killed, because he'll lose control of Spite and go on a rampage and all that.

However, it also makes me think about the fear of losing the people he cares about, because suddenly he carries this trauma that can push or frighten people away. The "corpses" aren't literal, but figurative, to describe the relationships he might lose. Lucanis has his new found family that he cares about, Rook included, and he doesn't want to lose that. All his life, the only thing people wanted from him, saw value in, were his skills as a Crow. That warmth, care, and accepting for parts of himself that have nothing to do with his skills as an assassin, but things he actually likes and enjoys… It's something he's never had before.

-

FINALLY we get to the best part of the mind prison. The part that fucking resonates with me every single time I play the quest.

Rook finds Lucanis standing in the middle of the torture area, where all the tables, corpses, and cages are, where he was cut open and tested on. This is where his trauma truly stems from, so it's really cool that we find him here.

It's pretty neat to see what Spite was referring to all those times he tried to leave when Lucanis was sleeping or when he told Rook that their deal was broken, that he wanted "out." He clearly doesn't understand trauma and mental health when it comes to mortals. So seeing the prison Lucanis’s mind has become, he just assumes it’s the actual prison.

We get a really awesome bit of conversation between the three here.

Spite: He breaks our agreement. His mind. Is still here. He wants. To stay here. So he keeps. ME HERE!! Lucanis: Mierda! Why would I want to stay? Even in my head, this place is a nightmare. Rook: Right, but it's a nightmare you already defeated... I get it now. As painful as the Ossuary was for you, it was better than the alternative. Lucanis: What alternative? Rook: The Ossuary, Zara? Those were problems you could solve with a blade. But healing again? Learning to live life as an abomination? There's no clear answer there. Lucanis: No! I... That is not... Ugh!! Damn it, Rook!!

And it's TRUE!! When healing from trauma, the treatments (therapy, support groups, medication, etc.) are important, but recovering is not straight forward, one size fits all. And that can be so frustrating and scary. I can only speak for myself here, of course, but I was so angry all the time. I didn't sign up for this shit, for this extra work, this fight for normalcy and sense of myself again, when I already had it. In an instant, my life was flipped upside down and shaken out, like a puzzle that showed a picture of who I am, but was chucked at the ground to be reduced to pieces, and now I had to work to put it together again. It's also not easy to admit that something is wrong, that you could be wrong.

Spite turns to Rook:

Spite: Make him leave! Rook, diplomatic option: He's trying to leave, Spite. It's... complicated. Mortals can't just change themselves. It takes a lot of time.

Beautiful. Perfection. Such a great response. Healing, recovery, learning to live the new normal... it's difficult, confusing, and takes such a long time. It can feel like being stuck in a prison, wandering endless, dark hallways with no sign of a possible exit, to the point where you start to wonder if there even is an exit.

The next line Lucanis says is my favorite out of the entire quest. Every time I hear it, I get a little emotional. The first time I went through the quest, I had to pause the game because it hit me so hard.

Lucanis: Rook, you're right. There has to be a way forward. It's just... so much! I cannot see where to begin!

Fuck, man.

I don't think I can properly put it into words how perfect this line of dialog is. This is it. This is what it feels like.

When I first started learning to cope with my PTSD, my therapist told me that her other clients going through a similar journey told her that it took a long time, but they eventually found a light at the end of the tunnel, that hope to overcome the struggle and darkness and weight of it all. I was never a pessimist before my trauma. I was always painfully optimistic, found the good in everything, but this... I didn't believe her. I 100% did not believe that I would find that light. It felt like so much. God, it was suffocating some days, debilitating. It felt like I was being asked to move a goddamn mountain. How was I supposed to move an entire mountain??

The answer, was to move smaller, more manageable rocks, one by one.

To start small.

This is the advice Rook gives Lucanis. They tell him to start small. Find an achievable goal and work towards that. For Lucanis, it's finding common ground with Spite, a goal they can both work towards together.

When the scene eventually comes back to the bar, Lucanis has a lightness to him, clarity. He knows what he needs to do to move forward. This one goal isn't going to get his mind out of the prison it made for itself, but it's getting him moving again, walking forward. The wards and guards have been dealt with, the doors are open.

Healing and learning to meet himself where he's at still won't be easy and there will be set backs, breakdowns, arguments with his inner demon, but every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Every time Lucanis stumbles and falls, he'll start to remember how to stand back up again, and if he can't do it himself that day, maybe he just doesn't have the strength or he starts looking at the mountain again instead of just the smaller rocks, he's got people there who will take his hand and help him back to his feet, bring his attention back down to the manageable.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk XD

[vigilante-3073]

Honey & Lemon

Draco Malfoy x Female Hufflepuff Reader

Summary: Draco Malfoy has always longed to be loved and accepted. As he falls in love with Y/N, a studious young Hufflepuff, he starts to wonder if his happy ending may be closer than he could've expected.

TW: Lovesick Draco, kissing, hand holding, jokes.

Draco Malfoy met Y/N L/N when he was in his third year at Hogwarts. If he had to be completely honest, he didn't know that she existed before she stood in front of him after their Potions class that day.

Y/N had always been a good student but she had a lot of trouble with Potions. Y/N had gone to Professor Snape for help and he sent her to Draco for some tutoring. Draco was at the top of the class and Y/N could learn a lot from him.

"Hello," Y/N said softly, holding her books close to her chest as she stood in front of his lab table.

Draco glanced at Blaise before looking up at the Hufflepuff girl, "Can I help you?" He asked, not bothering to hide his disinterest.

"I've been having some difficulty in this class and Professor Snape recommended that I speak to you about possibly receiving some assistance," She said.

Draco straightened in his seat at the mention of the Professor, "What's your name?" Draco questioned.

"Y/N L/N," She replied.

"Alright, Y/N, bring your supplies to the library after dinner tonight. I'll meet you there," Draco said.

She smiled, "Thank you," Y/N said quickly before making her way out of the classroom.

Draco watched her leave, the smell of her perfume lingering even after she had disappeared out the door. The scent was light and warm with notes of vanilla and citrus.

"You're tutoring Hufflepuffs now, Malfoy?" Blaise questioned with a smirk.

"Shut up," Draco snapped, gathering his supplies.

Draco and Y/N met in the twice a week and she eventually began to get the hang of some potions. She still struggled, but she was much better off than she had been.

Y/N wanted to learn and it frustrated her that she wasn't picking it up like everything else. Draco almost found it humorous, seeing such a sickly sweet person be anything other than delightfully pleasant.

As their potions class approached its final days, Draco found himself disappointed. He had grown quite fond of Y/N during their time together and he wasn't ready to see it end.

They sat in the classroom for their final tutoring session, brewing the last potion that he would assist her with. Y/N was focused on her textbook, following the directions carefully and adding each ingredient to the bubbling cauldron.

She dropped the final item into the liquid, taking a breath as she stirred the potion. A victorious smile appeared on her face as the liquid changed to the desired color, a bright and beautiful green.

"I did it," She said, looking to Draco.

He watched her with a soft smile, "It's like you don't even need me anymore," He teased.

"Of course I need you, silly. I wouldn't have known how to prepare half the ingredients otherwise," Y/N said, sitting down in the chair beside him.

"You would've figured it out. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for," Draco said.

"Thank you... That means a lot," She replied softly.

"I was wondering, since classes are almost over... Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me after exams?" Draco asked.

"Really? You'd want to go with me?" Y/N asked.

"I would... I actually have a bit of crush on you if I'm being honest," Draco said, fidgeting with his quill.

"You do?" She asked, a smile slowly appearing on her face.

"Yeah," He stated.

"I'd love to go to Hogsmeade with you, Draco," She replied.

...

From that day forward, Y/N and Draco were inseparable. They continued to study and work on assignments together, he walked her to all of her classes and snuck over to the Hufflepuff table to sit with her during meals.

If the teachers noticed, none of them said anything. Y/N was good for Draco and her companionship had changed him.

Draco was kinder, the vicious jabs he often slung at other students had dwindled and the difference was definitely noticeable. Draco was absolutely smitten, devoting all of his extra time to Y/N.

Y/N made him happy.

Draco had never experienced real happiness in his life and it made him value what Y/N brought to his life so much more. Draco had only ever known pain, violence, disappointment and loss.

His father held him to an incredibly high standard that he had never been able to meet. Draco strived to be the greatest, but always found himself finishing in second or third place.

It made him angry and he chose to lash out at those around him. Y/N exuded warmth, kindness and love every single day, Draco found himself drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

Draco considered himself to be blessed when Y/N woke up every morning and chose to spend her time with him. He was lucky to have her by his side and he knew that.

Draco was determined to keep her existence a secret from his father for as long as possible. Draco had talked about Y/N with Narcissa and she was excited to meet the girl, but allowed Draco to decide if and when they would be introduced.

He wanted to keep this one good thing untainted, even if it was just for a little while.

Draco didn't know what he would do if his father ordered him to break up with her. He couldn't do it, not to Y/N. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Y/N had introduced him to her parents briefly when they met at the train station at the end of their third year. They were delighted to meet him, welcoming him with opening arms after everything their daughter had told them.

Draco had never seen Y/N's cheeks go so red and he couldn't help but smile, taking her hand in his. Y/N's mother had even made him a batch of cookies, promising to send more if he enjoyed them.

Her parents were just as warm and kind as Y/N and he fell for her even harder. He felt lucky to be accepted into such a beautiful family, especially since they knew who he was. Or more importantly, who his father was.

People tended to judge him without getting to know him because of who his parents were and he didn't blame them. He hadn't done much to establish a good image for himself, but he was working on it.

Y/N made him want to work on it.

Draco was beginning to think that he had gotten away with keeping Y/N's existence a secret until the start of his fourth year. Lucius insisted on taking Draco to Diagon Alley to shop for his fourth year supplies. Draco kept his head on a swivel, hoping to spot Y/N before she saw him if she was out shopping.

He was embarrassed, but not of her, his father tended to blurt out rude comments that left an awful taste in people's mouths. Draco hoped to avoid the interaction, he didn't want Y/N to endure any of his father's abuse.

"Draco!" Y/N called, he immediately froze and his body tensed.

Y/N made her way through the crowd with her parents following closely behind her. She wrapped her arms around Draco and he quickly returned her embrace. He held her close, breathing in the scent of her perfume to steady himself before letting her go.

"How was your holiday?" Y/N asked with a smile.

"It was good. How was yours?" He questioned.

"Fantastic! I got a lot of new books that I can't wait to share with you," Y/N said.

"Hopefully you got a few on Potions because you are still just awful at that?" Draco teased.

"I did actually. I've been reading up over the break so hopefully I'll be able to teach you something this time around," Y/N replied.

"I look forward to hearing all about it," Draco smiled.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Draco?" Lucius questioned.

Draco's smile fell, "This is my girlfriend, Y/N... Y/N, I'd like you to meet my mother and father," Draco said.

"Nice to finally meet you both, Mister and Missus Malfoy," Y/N greeted.

"You as well, dear, I've heard a lot of good things," Narcissa smiled.

"How long has this been going on?" Lucius asked.

"Since last year, father," Draco admitted.

Lucius' eyes flickered over Y/N's form before looking behind her at her parents, "You should be focusing on your studies, Draco, not gallivanting around with a Hufflepuff," He spat, scowling at the young girl.

Y/N tensed, "We actually met when Professor Snape chose your son to be my tutor in Potions. Respectfully, you can't get any higher than top of the class, Sir" Y/N said.

A tense silence settled between them before Lucius replied, "A Hufflepuff with a backbone... I suppose there's a first time for everything," He stated, walking off and into the next store.

Narcissa sighed, "It was nice to meet you, dear," She said with a smile.

"You too, Ma'am," Y/N replied.

Narcissa introduced herself to Y/N's parents before following her husband into the store.

"Darling, we're just going to head into Flourish and Blotts. You can meet us there in a bit, alright?" Her mother questioned.

"Sounds good, mum," Y/N replied with a smile.

The couple quickly disappeared into the crowd, allowing Draco and Y/N to spend a moment alone.

"I'm so sorry for my father. I knew he'd be like that and I tried to keep him away from you," Draco said, holding her hand in both of his.

"You don't have to apologize, Draco. He's your father and I would've needed to meet him sooner or later," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that," He nodded.

"Your mum is really nice," Y/N said.

Draco huffed a laugh with a smile, "Yeah, she's been wanting to meet you for a long time," He said.

"How long is a long time?" Y/N asked.

"I wrote to her after our first tutoring session in the library. I really liked you," Draco admitted.

Y/N leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss, his eyes drifted shut and his hands shifted to hold her hips. She pulled away and his eyes fluttered open, leaning his forehead against her's with a soft exhale.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," He said, lifting his hand up and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I feel the same way about you," Y/N smiled.

...

The time for the Triwizard Championship had arrived and the competitors were selected from the Goblet of Fire. Of course, by some random burst of impossibly bad luck, Harry Potter's name flew out of the goblet and into Dumbledore's hand.

Draco attended the events with Y/N by his side, the amount of risk involved with the competition made her nervous. Her nerves just meant that she held on tighter to Draco so he couldn't complain.

Draco was excited when the time came for the Yule Ball, he asked Y/N to be his date the minute it was announced and she couldn't keep the smile off her face for the rest of the day.

Draco offered to pay for her dress, but Y/N brushed him off and assured him that she already had the perfect gown.

Y/N couldn't have been more right.

Draco was absolutely awestruck when he saw her making her way down the stairs on the evening of the Ball. She was wearing a floor-length gown made of lace and silk with her hair done perfectly to match.

Y/N looked like a princess and Draco was completely speechless.

"You look absolutely stunning," He finally managed, taking her hand as she made her way down the staircase. His thumb absent-mindedly ran across her knuckles, unable to tear his eyes away from her form.

"Thank you. You look handsome," Y/N replied.

"I'm glad you think so," He smiled, looping her arm through his and resting his hand over her's on his bicep as they walked into the Great Hall.

It was a wonderful night, they danced for hours before Draco led her away from the crowd, "Is everything okay?" Y/N questioned.

"I love you," Draco stated.

Y/N smiled widely, cupping his cheeks in her hands and kissing him. Draco rested his hands on her waist, holding her close until she pulled away.

"I love you too, Draco," Y/N replied.

They spent the rest of the Ball together before the students began to disperse. Draco walked Y/N back to the Hufflepuff dormitories. Her shoes dangled from her fingers, her other hand holding onto Draco's as they walked through the castle.

Draco's bowtie was untied, hanging loosely around his neck. He glanced behind him when the voices and laughter of other students fell silent.

Draco slowed to a stop, still holding onto his girlfriend's hand, "Hold on for a second," Draco said.

Y/N stopped walking, turning to face him "Is everything alright?" She asked.

"I've been waiting to get you alone all night long," Draco said.

Y/N smiled, "And what did you have in mind now that you have me, Mister Malfoy?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know, but I certainly won't be keeping a very respectable distance if that's alright with you," Draco said, resting his hands on her hips while backing her into the stone wall.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, "I don't mind at all," She replied.

Draco leaned in, pressing his lips to her's as her hand tangled in his hair, manicured fingernails scratching gently at his scalp.

His arm slid around her waist, large palm pressing against the small of her back and pulling her body closer to himself. His thumb traced over her hip bone, grip tightening as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Y/N moaned softly into the kiss, tugging gently on his hair.

The couple pulled apart quickly as someone cleared their throat. Draco wiped her lipstick from his bottom lip with his thumb as Y/N tried to catch her breath, cheeks flushed and eyes downcast.

"Helping Miss L/N return to her dormitory are you, Mister Malfoy?" Snape questioned.

"Yes, Sir," Draco replied.

"No snogging in the hallways," Snape stated, walking off down the hallway.

Draco burst out laughing as soon as Snape was out of earshot.

Y/N smiled, swatting his chest, "That was not funny, Draco! I'm absolutely mortified," She scolded half-heartedly.

"Of all the people in the world who could have possibly caught us snogging," Draco laughed with a shake of his head. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they continued on their way to the Hufflepuff dormitories.

They arrived at the entrance to her dorm far too soon for Draco's liking. He watched her input the password before the door opened.

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Draco," Y/N said.

"I did too," He nodded.

"I love you," She smiled, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. His hand cupped her cheek, thumb brushing across her skin gently.

Y/N pulled away and he smiled down at her, "I love you too," He said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Y/N stepped away from him, "Sleep well, Draco," She said softly.

"You too," He replied, watching her step into her dormitory.

The door closed behind her and Draco walked back to the Slytherin dormitory with a smile on his face. He got changed, flopping back onto his bed with a happy sigh.

Draco looked over at his nightstand, there was a picture of him and Y/N. They were talking, she laughed at something he said and he just smiled at her.

It was his absolute favorite picture of them.

The picture made him think about what his life could be like, he could see a future with Y/N and he wanted it more than anything.

Draco wanted Y/N more than anything.

[wobblingjello]

aughhh the spencer angst <\\3 I adore the way you write ur fics…if ur reqs r open could I possibly recommend spencer x reader who’s father is very very VERY similar to house md.

basically reader decides to take a very different career than her father, and would become a lawyer that often worked with the bau.

spencer and reader have been in a relationship for quite some time, so reader invited him to meet their father

OR

spencer is in the hospital for whatever reason and happens to meet their father

Hey! This is definitely not exactly like your request, but I actually already had a WIP about Spencer in the hospital situation even before the request, then I just added your suggestion on meeting the reader’s father part. I hope you like this! ^^

— Bloodline & Bullet Wound

Summary: You’ve been dating Spencer for quite some time, and it was only natural for your parents to start asking when they’d get to meet your “mysterious” boyfriend. However, you never expected that the first encounter between your dad and Spencer would be in the operating room. OR Spencer was shot, and your dad was the surgeon who led the surgery.

Genre: General, with a bit of humor (?)

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3011

Dating Dr. Spencer Reid was not for the weak. He was very clear about how important his job was for him since the second date, as if he was giving you an out before things got serious between the two of you. Your job might not be as significant as his was, but as someone who was also passionate about your job, you understood where the concerns came from.

On top of his unpredictable work schedule that would take him miles away from you most of the time, the very same job made you live in constant fear that something terrible could happen to him at any time. So, no, it wasn’t the work schedule that worried you the most, but the awfulness that came with the job.

In the span of 7 months you’ve been dating him, every so often, you’d spot new bruises and scars on his body. Spencer knew how you felt whenever you saw those wounds. He’d tell you those were minor wounds, and the most important part was he made it home safe.

He rarely talked about the cases they worked on, however, he always insisted that having you in his apartment when he came back helped a lot. Like the current case they were working on, for example. Three days ago, Spencer had informed you that it was a local case, in which he could go back to his own apartment every night. So, you’ve been staying at his place for the last three days.

Even when working on a local case, there was no guarantee that he’d come home at normal hours. Yesterday, he was back around 11 PM, and went back to work so early in the morning. He apologized for disturbing your sleep whenever he went in and out of his apartment, but of course you never held it against him.

Early this evening he texted you that he’d most likely stay late at the office again, and you didn’t have to wait up for him. You two texted each other a few more times before Spencer was needed to go back to the case. Then you once again fell asleep in his bed alone.

A loud ringing from your phone woke you up in the middle of the night. You blindly reached your phone on the bedside table, and answered it without even bothering to check the ID. JJ’s voice on the other side of the line woke you up instantly.

“Hey. I’m so sorry for calling you this late.”

You could feel the tightness in your chest. “JJ, what’s going on?”

“Spence was shot. I haven’t heard further details since the MET brought him to the hospital. All I know is that they need to do surgery on him.”

Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach at her statement.

Spencer.

Hospital.

Surgery.

Oh, God. Your worst nightmare has become reality. Your brain tried to remember the last thing you two talked about before you went to bed. Nothing. You couldn’t remember anything. What if you said something bad to him?

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, sorry.” If she caught the shakiness in your voice, then she didn’t mention it.

“I’ll send you the details of the hospital. Garcia and Matt are already on their way there. You should contact them when you arrive. The rest of us will meet you at the hospital once we wrap things up in the crime scene. Please be careful.”

You threw on the sweatpants and hoodie, grabbed your purse and key, then rushed out of his apartment.

As you turned on the engine of your car, you keyed in the address of the hospital to the GPS. It would only take you approximately an hour to get there. If you drove close to the speed limit, while adding the probability of how vacant the street was at almost 1 AM, you could definitely make it less than an hour. 

Once your car hit the road, thankfully, there was almost no other car anywhere in sight. You dared yourself to drive as fast as you could while still being careful. The last thing you wanted was to be in an accident while Spencer was fighting for his life in the operating room.

Just like you had predicted, you made it to the hospital in under an hour. You immediately called Penelope as you walked out of the parking lot. She waited for you at the lobby, and as soon as she saw you, she was all over you — trying to assure you that Spencer would be alright, that he’d make it out alive. You appreciated her kindness, really, but right now, your mind was incapable of forming positive thoughts. No, your mind went completely blank after that phone call with JJ. Honestly, it was a miracle that you managed to get to the hospital safely.

Once the two of you walked to the waiting area, you saw Matt facing the operating room. As if he sensed another presence in the room, perhaps he did, he was an agent after all, he turned around. He looked relieved when he saw you made it to the hospital just fine. He gestured to you and Penelope to sit on the nearest 3-seat chair. 

On your left, Matt briefed you the situation as best as he could given how shaken you currently were. Penelope, sitting on your right, tried to comfort you by squeezing your hands.

It was a horrible situation. The team had figured out there were two UnSubs in this case. By the time the team cornered one of the UnSub in their hiding place, they were still trying to talk him out of the situation — hopefully they could take both UnSubs alive. As they tried to make him surrender with no violence, in some sick twisted way, the partner walked right to that situation. Not very clever of him, honestly. The team also had figured out that one of the UnSubs was messier than the other. Once the partner realized there was no way out for both of them, he started shooting. Unfortunately, Spencer, who stood the closest to the other UnSub, was shot. Eventually, both UnSubs were dead.

It all happened in a blink of an eye. Once the situation was cleared, Rossi immediately instructed the EMT to get into the crime scene. The EMT left to bring Spencer to the hospital as fast as they got in. Tara called Matt, who stayed in the office with Penelope at that time, and told them to go to the hospital. At the same time, JJ called you, and basically said the same thing.

For a split second, you selfishly wished Spencer had stayed at the office too, so none of this would have happened to him.

The rest of the team arrived at the hospital almost 30 minutes later. They all look exhausted, like they all could crash out any time soon. You spotted dried blood on Emily’s shirt — wondering if that was Spencer’s. You felt a twist in the bottom of your stomach just from the thought of it.

In the waiting area, the BAU team took turns to take a quick rest. It seemed uncomfortable given how small the 3-seat chairs were. At some point, Matt and JJ excused themselves to go home, which understandable since they had their own families.

The waiting time felt like eternity for you. Some of Spencer’s team members had told you to take some rest, but you refused to do so. You were afraid you wouldn’t be awake by the time the surgery was done. 

What was exactly happening inside the operating room? How long would it take for them to finish the surgery?

By the time it marked the 3 hours, someone walked out of the operating room. Everyone in the waiting area instantly got on their feet. The moment the surgeon took off his mask, your mouth was wide open.

“Dad!?”

He was equally surprised at the sight of you. “Muffin? What are you doing here?”

Your nose scrunched at his term of endearment. “Um, I’m Spencer’s emergency contact?” That came out more like a question than an answer.

“That —” He dramatically pointed out to the direction of the operating room. “— is your boyfriend?”

The BAU team was simultaneously shocked and amused at the unexpected family reunion. They intently listened to the exchange while looking back and forth at the father-daughter duo. Your mind was solely focused on Spencer the entire time, you completely forgot this was also the hospital your dad worked at.

You heard Emily cleared her throat at your right. “As much as I enjoy this little family reunion, can you please give us an update on Reid’s condition?” She addressed your dad.

“Right. We’ll circle back to this later, Muffin.” Then he turned to face Emily. “He lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go there for a while. If he was shot one millimeter to the left, he probably wouldn’t make it. It was a miracle, really. He still needs to recover for another few days, but he’ll be able to walk out of here just fine.”

“Can we see him?” This time, it was Luke who asked the question.

“Not right now. I’ll recommend you to see him later in the next few hours.” Then he looked directly at you. “That applies to you too.” You were about to complain when he stopped you. “Go home. Get some rest. I’ll personally call you when he wakes up.”

One by one the members of the BAU said their thank you to your dad, then left the hospital. They deserved that rest. You lingered in the waiting area a bit longer, wanting to have a private conversation with your dad. It seemed he also had the same thought, because he hadn’t moved from his position.

You walked up to your dad, and immediately hugged him. The moment he hugged you back, it felt like you finally could breathe again. Without you even realizing it, the tears started falling down your cheeks.

“You saved his life. Thank you, Dad.” Your voice was barely audible.

“I can’t believe I just performed a surgery on your boyfriend. Your mom will probably be mad at me if she finds out that I had met him without her.”

You knew the last part was him trying to lighten up your mood. “She’ll live. But I’m sure she’ll ask again for that dinner sooner than later.”

He chuckled at that. “That she will.” He released you from the hug, but put his hands on your shoulders. “Seriously, go home. I promise I’ll call you.”

You hugged your dad one more time before leaving the hospital.

If there was one thing that you felt grateful for today, it was the fact that it was Sunday. You didn’t even realize how tired you were until you were back to Spencer’s apartment. You couldn’t imagine if you had to go to work after what just happened. God, imagine how exhausted his colleagues were right now. You were sure you would fall asleep straight away the moment you touched the bed.

The ringing from your phone once again woke you up. This time, you checked the caller before answering. Your dad.

“Hey, Muffin. Did you actually get some sleep?” His don’t-lie-to-me tone was as clear as the sky outside.

You chuckled at his question. “I did, thank you for asking, Dad. Is he awake?” Now, you hesitantly asked him.

“Yes. He just woke up. The nurses are checking on him, but he can have visitors now. I’m pretty sure someone from the administration had contacted one of his colleagues, but maybe you want to inform them as well.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that.” You went quiet for a beat or two, then continued. “Thank you, again, Dad. I love you. I’ll see you later at the hospital.”

“I love you too, kiddo. Drive safely.”

You checked the time on your phone, past 10 AM. Well, you definitely had better sleep before, but considering the circumstances, it wasn’t that bad. This time around, you took your time to get ready before leaving. You knew Spencer wouldn’t mind if you came to the hospital looking like someone who just rolled out of the bed, but you intended to spend some time with your dad too, so you wanted to look at least decent enough. The hospital was still his workplace after all.

As you grabbed your purse and key, your stomach let out an embarrassing loud noise. Alright, making a quick pit stop to the patisserie wouldn’t hurt. Perhaps bought something for your dad too while you were at it.

Before you left the apartment, you sent a message to Emily, updating her on Spencer’s condition, while also informing her that you were on the way to the hospital. You were sure she’d pass along the information to the rest of the team.

When you arrived at the hospital, you didn’t go to Spencer’s room immediately. Instead, you called your dad and asked where he was. You wanted to give him a bag full of freshly baked pastries you bought at your favorite patisserie on the way.

Once the pastries were safely delivered to your dad, and spent a decent amount of time catching up with him, you marched your way to Spencer’s room.

Even from the hallway, you could tell which one his room was. You already heard the laughter of the people in his team you started becoming familiar with. You felt the warm fuzzy feeling spreading in your chest from knowing how much he was cherished by those people and vice versa.

You knocked on the door to announce your presence, and all heads turned towards your direction. You noticed how his eyes lit up from the sight of you entering his room. Everyone made some room for you, so you could sit on his bed. Your hand instantly found his — caressing the back of his hand while still being mindful of the IV.

You all shared stories and laughter in the tiny hospital room. Grateful that Spencer survived this horrifying event. JJ showed you the drawing her sons made for Spencer. Even the little ones adored your boyfriend. Through all of this, not even once you two let each other’s hands go.

Eventually, his colleagues bid their farewell, but not before wishing him a speedy recovery.

“Hey, angel.” He flashed you a smile.

“Hey. I want to ask how you are, but that sounds silly. I mean, of course you’re not fine.” You let out a shaky breath. “You scared me, you know?”

“I’m better now.” He gave your hand a squeeze. “So… Your dad was the one who performed the surgery on me…”

“Yeah. That was… Wild. I’m pretty sure half his soul left his body when he realized you’re the mysterious boyfriend.” You giggled at the memory of your dad’s reaction. “He said he’d check up on you later.”

Not even 5 minutes later, your dad knocked on the door. As if you had summoned him. He checked up on Spencer, notified the two of you on your boyfriend’s latest condition, etcetera, while keeping a straight face. He deserved to be applauded for his professionalism.

However, the spell broke once your dad was done with his examination.

“So, I heard you’re dating my daughter.” Your dad casually said while staring at Spencer dead in the eye.

Your boyfriend, clearly nervous, cleared his throat. “Yes, sir. It’s unfortunate that our first encounter is under such an awful circumstance.” He tried to straighten up his position as best as he could. “My name is Dr. Spencer Reid… But surely you already know that since you’re currently holding my medical chart.” 

“Doctor, huh? I thought he’s with the FBI?” His eyebrow went up as he looked at you now.

“Not a doctor like you, Dad.”

“Um, I have 3 PhDs.”

“That’s impressive. Well, I’m not interested in giving you any fatherly speeches for dating my daughter. At least not while you’re still recovering. I guess I’ll see you around, but hopefully not at the hospital again.” Your dad fully turned to face you this time. “My shift is about to end. Why don’t you come home with me? I’m sure your mom will be thrilled to see you. Especially if she finds out what just happened in less than 24 hours.”

Your dad gave the two of you one last look before he was leaving the room.

“I guess it went well.”

“Yeah, it could’ve been worse. Like, you know, he could secretly dose me with something that might kill me.”

“And why would he do that?”

“Because I’m dating his daughter?”

You burst out laughing at his answer. “Oh, babe. You’re as dramatic as he is. You two will be best buddies before you know it.”

“You should spend some time with your family. I’ll still be here until your dad deems me healthy enough to go home.”

“Alright. I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

You glanced at your boyfriend one last time, then closed the door to his room.

You saw your dad waiting for you at the end of the hallway — his white coat was long gone. Now that he knew about Spencer, and your mom would soon know too, it didn’t really sound like a bad thing at all. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to introduce him to your parents, it just felt too soon. Plus, between Spencer’s unpredictable work schedule and your dad’s long hour shift at the hospital, it was quite a challenge to set up a dinner with your parents.

Now that the cat was out of the bag, you were just happy that the most important people in your life would finally get to know each other. You were sure your mom would be more than happy to help you arrange the dinner, and you couldn’t wait for it to happen.