#some ENORMOUS fucked up sibling vibes. as there should be. that post that's going around about siblings doomed by the narrative.

[essektheylyss]

I put my big wip playlist in alphabetical order (it's more of the playlist for a world than for a specific storyline) so it doesn't actually have a narrative to it, but also it actually does work to play it in order, and some of it has ended up wildly affecting by pure chance based on what I put on it, especially in comparison to what the songs signify, so every time I get to the sequence of "Heirloom" (Sleeping At Last) > "Hey Brother" (Avicii) > "If I Had A Heart" (Fever Ray), I have no choice but to sit quietly in a corner and lose my goddamn mind for a while. Cannot recommend this sequence of songs enough if you ever want to experience shrimp emotions.

[badatusernames]

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

[whiskehorange]

Pinhead: Chapters 1-3

I want to give a quick thank you to @wronggwayy, my editor and @tinalbion who read this over a while ago and pushing me to post and do asks! I really should thank her for everything you guys see on this page but, that’s for another post! Enjoy!

How You Met/Left

You know, you learned not to question it. Nothing ever good came from questioning it. You didn’t have the answer and you didn’t expect anyone else to, so why bother?

Frankly, you didn’t even mind feeling this way, you didn’t intend to use it for any bad purposes, yet. This wasn’t a phase you would hit when you were 12 and wanted attention of your parents and the other kids around you, you actually felt this way.

Be bad or not, you just didn’t know. And that wasn’t bad, right?

Either way, you would soon grow to crave the excitement and buzz it made your stomach feel. Your own sort of high.

~~~

Your abnormal, off-the-wall sense of humor was able to cover up your underlying masochism. The feeling of being the reason of someone laughter, the reason behind their smile, was what really made you happy.

As much as you wanted to obscure your own thoughts in pain and torment, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it to other people. Who were you to know if they enjoyed it like you did?

So, you kept it safe, and decided to make people feel the ‘normal’ good. Laughing gave you the balance in your mind; feeling satisfied about the agony, content from the laughing.

Some of your friends were masochists, which made sense why you hung out with them, but they only ever really got off on hitting others as well, so, you were the lone masochist of the group.

~~~

Your friends had convinced you to come to Mexico with them during Sophomore year of high school with one of their older siblings. He too was like you guys, but… more... out there.

Now, you had your fair share of piercings and a few tattoos but… but he was something else.

With you being considered the ballsiest of the group at the time, being around the green mohawked, tattooed, body modified clown who was also towering over you in height, you felt like a small bug. His name was Tripp and if that wasn’t sketchy enough then consider yourself an edge-lord.

~~~

It was a long trip, coming from New York. You particularly didn’t want to go with them not only because of the vibe that Tripp gave off, but because you don't necessarily like going places with them or with anyone, for that matter.

Yeah, you were all fucking crazy, rowdy, and loud, but they didn’t really know how to control themselves around other people, let alone in public.

You don’t really go up to someone or a group of people and just start fucking around with them when they don't want to be bothered, especially high class people.

Going out every once in a while was nice though, right? Even if it’s in some guy named Tripp with his younger sister and her sadomasochist friends to Mexico.

So maybe it didn’t sound all too pleasing but you just wanted to go somewhere different, and now was your chance and you were gonna take it.

~~~

Thirty-three hours of not-so-good doings and two days of driving was also worth it. The hotel’s shitty, waffle house parking lot vacancies wasn’t but you did have fun going to a few clubs and bars getting drunk on the way.

After finally making it to El Paso, it was another hour or so to get to this high end hotel that Tripp had gotten through some guy he knew in Nevada. Again, sketchy, but not the worse thing that could have happened.

“How the fuck did you afford this place, T? Mom and dad sure as hell didn’t pay for it,” Amanda said, Tripp’s younger sister.

“Shut it shortstack, I got it covered,” Tripp said, his voice monotone and cold.

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes, “That guy in Nevada probably set us up for a murderer to pick us off one by one and gut us like a fish. Maybe eat us too, like Hannibal.” Amanda lowered her voice and grabbed onto your arm, giggling.

“Oh shut the fuck up for Christ sake Amy, I got it,” Tripp spat. His voice was terrifying.

“Guys… people are staring, shut up goddamnit,” You murmured as most of the lobby’s eyes were on the group of tattooed, dyed hair, black shirts and ripped skinny jean wearing punks that you called your friends.

“Let ‘em look honey, Let ‘em look!” Amanda yelled and made a “v” sign on her mouth with her fingers and stuck her tongue out.

“Amy!” You punched her in the arm and sneered. The eyes of everyone else made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

“Ooh hit me again.” Her eyebrows bounced up and down, in a playful manner.

“No asshole, now move.” You spat, pushing past her.

~~~

Your rooms were on the 12th floor, near the end of the hallway away from the other rooms. The posse entered the room and within 10 minutes, the place was trashed and two of your friends were shitfaced, not surprising.

Tripp was nowhere to be seen and Amanda was asleep in the downstairs bedroom. Unpacking a few of your things you notice how big every room really was, like a whole house. It had an upstairs with two bedrooms while downstairs had one bedroom with an enormous kitchen, living room, bathroom and balcony that looked over the ocean.

The upstairs also had its own bathroom and even a smaller office area to accompany the bedrooms.

You shared a room upstairs with Niko, the closest friend of yours in the group, who at the moment was  currently shitfaced downstairs talking about raccoons. Argo got the bedroom downstairs with Amanda while Tripp got the second biggest bedroom upstairs.

You checked out the bathroom upstairs first, it was the biggest one. Furnished marble flooring with a large vanity and sink, a jacuzzi tub and a glass shower right next to it.

The window placed right above the tub seemed a bit out of place, but the moonlight lit up the bathroom so well; Dreamlike, really.

Looking at yourself in the mirror you see Tripp standing in the doorway, just staring at you.

“Oh, hey Tripp, sorry did you need to use the bathroom?” You said, startled at first.

Nothing.

“I was just looking in here at the beautiful floors and view,” Your hand gestured to the sink and window.

Still nothing.

“Well… If you need to use the bathroom I can go...” You swallowed, not know what else to say as you rocked on your heels, your thumb pointing outwards towards the door.

“It’s nice. Spacious.” He finally said. His voice never had any emotion in it.

“Hah, yeah,” You smiled. You noticed he had something in his hand.

“Don’t tell Amy I said this but, I didn’t really get this place in from a guy in Nevada.” Tripp took a step closer.

“Oh, okay.” You cut your eyes for a second. Did it really matter? As long as no one died it was fine.

“I got it as a deal.”

“Ok-”

“None of them would believe me, but maybe you would. You seem level headed enough to do this for me,” He brought what he was holding up to your face, “I need you to open this.”

You just looked at him, then at the trinket in his hand. He had never spoken this much, let alone to you.

“What is th-”

“Doesn’t Matter. Open it,” He pushed the box to your face again as you slowly took it.

It was very light although it looked like it was made from almost solid gold. Each side had a different pattern on it, each intricate in its own way.

“Open it,” He scoffed.

“Why?”

“Just do it. Now.” His voice was demanding and rough.

You flipped the box over in your hands a few times as you traced the middle of the box with your thumb in a circular motion hesitantly, but it was almost like you needed to do it. Your finger naturally went in its motion without your brain’s approval.

As soon as you did, the top of the box slid up and turned to the side and back down, almost like a Rubik’s cube solving itself.

The box seemed to be getting heavier as you looked up at Tripp, though it wasn’t Tripp anymore. You weren’t even in the bathroom anymore. You had drank a bit but not enough to be hallucinating for Christ’s sake. Alcohol doesn’t even do that… does it?

The room changed at once.

It seemed to be dark and black, no doors or anything, just straight, long corridors. Pillars in various parts of the room had meathook like chains draped across them with body parts hooked on them.

Silver, bloodied chains hung from the ceiling, and they were long enough to the point where you couldn't walk without hitting at least three.

You felt like you should be scared, but you weren’t. You felt… confused, but mostly intrigued. Yeah, it was fucking scary, but not scream or cry worthy, for you at least.

Looking back down at the box you blinked hard, trying to somehow wake up. You looked back up again and you’re still in the same spot, same room.

“What the fuck did I drink?” You said to nothing.

“You did not drink anything.” A rather rich, deep, raspy voice called out from the darkness.

“Oh. I didn’t think so.” The words rolled off of your tongue.

The disembodied voice spoke once again, “You opened the box.”

“Lament Configuration, you mean.”

Maybe correcting something that seemed to have a… higher power wasn’t the best idea but, fuck it.

A deep chuckle emitted from the voice “Yes, it would appear as though you have corrected me.”

“Hey! I had her open the box, now spare me god dammit!” You look back to see Tripp rushing up behind you, “She opened the box, and you made a deal fucker!”

You look back as a figure steps forward. He was slim but toned, in an all black sort of robe with slits missing on the chest and down the center of his stomach, which you could also assume was blood from gashes in his chest. Apart from him being deathly pale, his head was covered in small nails; pins, for a better use of words.

As you studied him another figure walked up from behind him, then another, and another. Each had on a similar black robe on, but different in their own way.

One seemed to be morbidly obese with a pair of thick round goggles almost embedded into his face. The other had no eyes, that could be seen, as his mouth was pulled open by hooked wires that connected from behind his head. His teeth would constantly chatter, loud enough for you to hear if it was completely silent.

The last seemed to be a female with no hair and also deathly pale. At this point their skin was actually white and their lips and facial features were tinted blue. She had two wires protruding out of cheeks that connected to the skin on her throat. The skin was being pulled back as the red muscles and tendons were being exposed, beating and convulsing. Still, none of them seemed to be actually bleeding.

“Jesus Christ…”  Was all you managed to spit out.

“Not quite,” the man, or thing said.

“I held up my end of the deal! I brought you four sacrifices all the way from New fucking York to spare myself and you’re supposed to kill her for Christ’s sake!” Tripp hissed.

“Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?” The man with pins bellowed, his attention snapping back towards Tripp.

At this point you felt about fifty different emotions at once. It was like being at a friends house and having that friend and their parent argue, and all you can do is stand there and wonder why you came or what you could possibly do.

Who are they? Where are we? What deal did Tripp make? Sacrifices?

“It is not hands that call us… it is desire.” All figures moved their attention to Tripp. You just assumed the guy with the pins in his head as the leader, as he walked over to Tripp and just stared at him.

“The last time you were here we made no deal. You, out of human compulsory, pleaded for my Cenobites and I to spare you. Hell hath no deals, Tripp. Your flesh is what we desire, not your soul. Your flesh and pain gives us a drive of what you humans experience with substances like cocaine, or heroin, yet at a much greater altitude, or high as you might call it. You know what it feels like to be in a high, don’t you Tripp?”

“What the hell man, you’re…. You’re evil! Pinhead, you evil bastard!” Tripp yelled out harshly, pointing and swinging towards Pinhead.

“Ahah, oh how uncomfortable that word must feel on your lips; evil, good. There is no evil, there is no good, there is only flesh. The patterns to which we submitted.” Pinhead chuckled, almost mockingly.

Before he could reach Pinhead he stopped dead in his tracks, blood oozing from his mouth. A chain had cut through the air from the darkness behind him and burrowed itself right into his chest.

Four others from the sides tore the skin from his face and his palms before dragging him into the darkness.

They turned back to you, as all you could do was look back and sort of sickly smile. The feeling that rushed through your nerves when watching Tripp’s skin being lacerated and torn apart gave you a warm feeling inside.

You almost wanted to ask if you could have done it, but small tears streamed down your face. Not so sadness, but of…. of….

“Aw, no tears please. It’s a waste of good suffering.” Pinhead focused his attention you now.

“As…. as a matter of fact I’m not actually sad? This… rush I am feeling, to seeing whatever the fuck you just did you Tripp is immeasurable, I- I would have loved to have done that myself.” You grinned, thinking about the pain of Tripp, or the pain Pinhead might have caused you.

You raised your fingers to your mouth in bewilderment. Maybe you had more in common with your (ex) friends than you thought.

“Oh, you suffer beautifully,” Pinhead laughed, “Just what type of rush do you feel? Pain? Sorrow? Sweet agony? Or something...more…?”

“To be honest with you, Pinhead, I’m assuming, all of it, and more. Oh so much more. Not just thinking of the pain that could have been done to me, but wanting, no needing, to experience the euphoria of hurting him and ripping his flesh makes me go into a state of bliss and exhilaration.”

You grinned once more, rambling about your endless, needy thoughts.

“I too can smell the exquisite stench of what you really are.”

“I just have one problem,” You looked down and laughed, “I don’t have a ride back to New York….”

Reuniting

Remembering Mexico made you smile.

Yeah, Amanda, Niko, Tripp and Argo ‘disappeared’, but the feeling of indulgence to be able to have ripped them apart yourself was priceless.

Now, considering that it had been five years, you were much more sharply dressed and well mannered. You praised the day that you would find the Lament Configuration once more, you had only seen Pinhead, or Elliot as he had you call him, twice after being in Mexico.

Your bond had grown stronger as he subjected you to the sights of hell. Still that was about four years ago before someone stole the box when they had broken into your apartment back in New York.

You had a well settled down life now, while still being a sadomasochist, just very well controlling of it, but you still made people laugh with your out-of-the-blue comments.

Now, a typical business woman with her black and white blouse, black pencil skirt with black heels, hair in a neat ponytail and little to no makeup (which wasn't needed in your case) you headed home only to have a package laying front of your apartment door, untouched.

How no one in your halls had stolen it you will never know, but you pick it up and headed inside.

You had gotten the money from Tripp and Amanda's parents a while back. You played the victim role quiet well when you made it back to New York, enough to where the adults had given you thousands upon thousands of dollars of pity money.

Once you bought the expensive, luxurious apartment you call home, it was only broken into once, before you got the security alarm installed.

The only thing that bothered you was that the box was taken, fuck the TV, or the Rolex, but the fucking box. You were pissed and demanded the police to find the intruder and your things, in return for a very large cash reward.

You walked into your office with the package in your hand and sat at your desk, turning your chair to face the magnificent windows that stretched from ceiling to floor overlooking the city. Being on the 23rd floor was a major plus. You would kill for this view any day of the week, but now it was in the palm of your hand.

You looked at the small yellow envelope that had “Sorry” scrawled on the side. Tilting your head you opened it and pulled out a small letter,

I don’t know why the fuck you would keep a thing like that in your house but fucking keep it and never let anyone touch it ~X

You pulled out the object as it fell into your lap. It was your box, with droplets of blood on the sides, dripping onto your black skirt.

“Oh Elliot,” you chuckled, “You’re so impatient.”

Deciding To Stay

A few weeks before you received your box, as Pinhead called it, you saw multiple accounts of mass murders or suicides that linked to the box. It was always found at the scene, but no one could get ahold of it before it would disappear.

I have to get rid of this.

The thought only stayed in your mind for a second before you pushed it away immediately.

I can't get rid of it. I just got it back and now Elliot and I will be able to talk again.

That’s ridiculous, if the police find that in your apartment, you'll be in jail!

No, I can hide it.

Where?

I don’t know. 

I’ll find somewhere.

You went back in forth for a while, deciding on weather to open it or not. Ninety-five percent of you wanted to, but the other five percent, the I’ve-got-my-feet-on-the-ground-finally voice told you it wasn’t worth it. You would always be the fucked up person you were when you were a teen, you were just more physically appealing now.

You mentally slapped yourself. This time, not to make you focus, but to get the voice to simmer down for a second so you could think

Fuck it.

You opened the box anyways.

At first nothing happened, but it didn’t take too long until the room around you faded into the all too familiar blackened and damn corridors that you saw that night in Mexico. The skyhigh city apartment you sat in was now gone and you stood in your second home, the hooks dangling and clanging together oh so slightly.

You couldn’t help but think of the blood on the chains and hooks to be that of Amanda’s. The warm feeling in your stomach made you almost moan out. You last time you felt that was when you were a teen, ripping your friends to bits and pieces. 

Almost shameful really, you put your fingers to your mouth modestly and took a deep breath, closing your eyes.

“Back once more, Princess?”

It was Pinhead. His voice just as rich and deep as before.

You spun around, the bubbling in your stomach from pure pleasure make you gasp out as you locked eyes.

“Elliot!” He had only ever let you call him Elliot. Anyone else would have endured such an excruciating pain that even his fellow Cenobites would wince and look away.

Pinhead grinned at you, looking as smug as ever. You eyed him. His deathly pale skin, his leather attire and most importantly pins that have never looked any better to you. It had been so long, you couldn’t hold in any of the excitement you felt for him.

Like a kid at a candy shop, you bounced on your feet for a few, but composed yourself quickly. The teen showing through made Pinhead chuckle; he had always like that side of you. But seeing you now, the more elegant and composed, professional really, side of you was much better.

With his arms spread slightly, he embraced you in a small but meaningful hug, one you’d never thought you’d have the chance to experience again in your life.

“So, hows…. Hell?” “Hell is more… ordered since your time, Princess. And much less… amusing”

“Oh, it’s because I haven’t been around huh?” You joked. You had a way with being able to make Pinhead laugh, or smile at least with your humor. 

The hooks in your hands felt as cold as ice, the dried blood leaving a rusty copper color on your hands, something you were familiar with. It brought back memories, ones you forgot you had until now. You were genuinely happy now. The box was in your hands, Elliot was by your side, nothing could stop you.

“You’ve been away too long Princess,” Elliot continued.

“Yeah, I have, haven’t I?” A smirk ever so slightly creeping onto your face, the hook still digging into your hand, the blood still marking and leaving their traces of someone else on you.

Elliot, now behind you, placed his cold, lifeless hand on the small of your back. You both looking down a corridor where light seemed to manifest and convulse in colors or white, yellow and that light tint of blue you sometimes see when you close your eyes just a but too hard. That of course, was the corridor where the Leviathan reigned. 

Your fingers twitched, as so did he hooks around you. You missed the power you had in this realm. Your body ached every moment you where in the real world, not being able to hold the configuration in your hands, to not hold Elliot in your sight. But you were home now, where you had the power alongside him.

A deep breath puffed your chest as the chains curled and moved as your hands did, 

“Way too long…”

[atrophiedcompassion]

the last jedi review

spoiler free: it was overall good, but not as good as it could’ve been. it had about 30 mins of filler and some of the plots execution was less than desirable. certainly needs at least one more viewing for a proper opinion

spoiler full review under the cut

what they did well was near perfection: Luke, Leia, Kylo and Rey were beautifully characterized, their arcs clear, well done, exceptionally emotional and powerful.

First of all, they finally gave Leia the standing she deserved in the new trilogy. it was like Rian Johnson heard my criticism of TFA Leia (no force sensitive mentions, just an old hag they had no clue how to use. it was and remains one of the most disappointing things about TFA) and finally gave her a meaty role, in a way, the perfect way to end Carrie’s work with Star Wars. sure, the travel through space scene was a bit cartoonish, but finally, FINALLY, we were given, shown, FORCE SENSITIVE LEIA. it was emotional, especially that it came after the very clear moment between her and Kylo, when he hesitated in shooting at her ship. it was very clear that they were sensing each other and Kylo’s reaction when the ship was shot after all was also amazing.

her whole role was great, finally the General i had always expected from post ROTJ Leia to be. and even if they didn’t kill her on screen, and it’ll have to be an offscreen death (or who knows...who knows), i think they did conclude her arc remarkably and whatever happens in episode IX it can only finish her participation in a great way. 

the final meeting with Luke, the forgiveness, the closeness, i am so glad they gave us that. the space twins live on, and we were given true closure.

second of all, Luke. LUKE WAS PERFECT. the guilt, the wisdom, the cranky old master behaviour a la yoda in ESB, it was miraculous. every time he was on screen it was emotional and powerful. the awe and fright at Rey’s abilities. his disappointment that she went straight to the dark, that she didn’t fight temptation at all, when it was clear that he had done that all his life and it had cost him so much! i mean, it’s clear that Luke’s resolve in ROTJ is strong, and that he will certainly not cave in to the Emperor’s requests. but now, with his anger at Rey’s easy temptation, it becomes clear to me how much it had cost him to say no to Vader in ESB. at his lowest moment, having just been mutilated, having just learned that his great mentor Obi Wan had lied to him, at the very revelation that the long sought after father was finally before him offering him the world, he still found the courage, the strength and maybe even the weakness to say no. to allow himself to die rather than to fall to the dark side. and then this kid, with enormous grasp of the Force, dives right into the darkness on the first occasion!! the fact that they gave us that on screen was immense.

and then, the final battle, when he displays the most stupendous command of the Force, when he shows Kylo off in a spectacular fashion, that was amazing, it was one of the best moments in the whole SW saga.

the death moment was perhaps a little sudden, because it clearly stemmed from the fight with Kylo, and not later, but it still comes peacefully, and not at the actual, real hand of his nephew.

Now, Rey, her journey was not as spectacular as it was in TFA, but she was the emotional core of the film and in many ways, the only true pure Force sensitive person in the saga. sure, Leia was as pure and free of temptation as possible, but there is something murky about the relationship between her, Ben/Kylo and Han. something happened to Ben to have all that great darkness inside him, and as a comic panel once said, it surely came from her side of the family. Rey can and did dive into the darkness and came out unscathed. she not for one second yields to Snoke nor is she willing to accept Kylo’s offer of joining him to rule the galaxy (at some point in these movies, this has to stop tho. it’s the worst offer in the galaxy ffs! no-one seems to take up on it). she is the voice of reason and the hope the galaxy needs.

the big family reveal is underwhelming for a reason. it’s something Kylo says, it’s her biggest fears that he’s voicing, trying to play with her mind. it may be a misdirection, my dad says, and he’s been right about this (after snape’s “treason” in HP6, he was the first to point out that it may play out differently in the end. plus, should her true, actual, shocking parentage be revealed in the middle film, it’d be too much on the nose copying of ESB. we already had the offer scene and the moment between the dark and the light characters.

Finally, Kylo Ren. first of all, what a pleasure it is to watch Adam Driver perform!! he is magnetic in every scene and you can literally see the conflict in his face. his weirdly beautiful face. i love the guy (i mean, i went to see Silence in the theater, a religious film! starring Andrew Garfield!). i think his arc is tremendous and if my gut feeling is right, they might actually make him the big bad. no redemption. he just follows the darkness through and through. at the start of the movie, he has that moment with Leia, he hesitates, he takes the finger off the button. at the end, he barges full on, take no prisoners kinda way, totally willing to kill every single person in the mine/bunker, his mother included. it’s interesting, because so far it seems that killing Snoke (and not his father or Rey) finally completed his apprenticeship in the dark side, killing the puppet master finally allowed him to go completely dark.

@winteredfall believes there’s the parallel with Anakin, who also made the offer to Padme, to kill the emperor & take over, and in the end he was still redeemed.  but....that was the third movie. this is just the second movie. i think it’d be much more interesting if this guy didn’t get redemption and if he was simply the bad guy. it’d make the character richer, it’d be a departure from the classic SW and it’d show that some people cannot be redeemed. it’d finally take Nu SW into a new direction and the following trilogy wouldn’t have the baggage. (side note: for me, after learning in the prequels what Vader did to access the dark side, aka kill 30 kids, Vader’s redemption in ROTJ is meaningless and unacceptable. for me, Vader cannot be redeemed after we know what he did. he can be forgiven by his son, who doesn’t exactly know the details. but me as the viewer, i cannot forgive him anymore. his son saving is nearly an empty gesture given his actual really heinous crimes. and this is why i hate the prequels, because they ruined Vader for me, arguably the most interesting character of the OT)

the offer to Rey immediately after offing Snoke shows that he never really wanted to be good. he just wanted to stop being manipulated and used. his rage after she rebukes him and takes off is not brattisness, but simply the dark side finally taking over. rage fuels the dark side, anger is the prime motivator, so it all works. and Kylo is a better character for it. and the movie could take the SW saga into a whole new direction. but we shall see.

The Force was finally restored to its original meaning, fuck the midicloridians. Sure, luke’s explanation seems a rehash of Obi Wan’s but it had to be done. also perfect was Luke’s put down of the Jedi and their hubris, it was amazing to see the concerns people had with the prequels, namely the sith emerging during the Jedi’s highest power, addressed and put to bed.

the Kylo - Rey relationship was intense, and heightened, but unlike in TFA, where it did have some dark sexual undertones (Kylo does mind rape Rey and the sexual overtones of that scene cannot be overlooked), this time it had a very sibling vibe. Rian Johnson took note of the unholy Reylo shippers and of the effects of that scene in TFA and turned it around. sure, it was weird that Rey was bashful to see Kylo shirtless (but thank you for the scene nonetheless), but all that malefic sexual energy from TFA was gone here and it felt great.

all their scenes together, be it in the Force, or actually side by side fighting were superb. they have immense chemistry and made it all seem very palpable. also, at the end, where Rey’s leaving in the Falcon and they communicate once more, that was not Snoke’s doing, so their connection IS real, and not “forced” by a higher power.

now, what they did wrong may actually be not that bad on a second viewing, perhaps it needs a little more attention to detail. but so far, the whole Casino plot, get them on the FO ship, Benicio del Toro char, all of that was awful. i understand the political aspect of the plot, of showing the war profiteering and the real reason why the galaxy is still at war, which is highlighted by the fact that at the end, no-one comes to the aid of the Resistance. but the tone of those scenes was all wrong. it was choc full of species, of way too much slapstick humour, cutting away from Resistance cannot get a moment’s respite really awful situation, to Rose & Finn riding blissfully, almost forgetting their mission, on those animals?! it was worth it now that they saved those animals, even if they were about to die and leave their Resistance with no actual hope?! WHAT THE FUCK!! i get why it was liberating for characters like Rose & Finn, who had lost everything and had always been downtrodden, to finally do something rebellious and for themselves, but in the bigger picture of what was happening with the remaining Resistance crew, it was very offputting.

i liked Rose a lot, because she had heart and seemed sharply focused, but then..they gave her some really weird choices. it was almost like let’s give the POC characters something meaningless to do (because they eventually not only fail their mission, but they bring into Resistance secrets a third party who betrays them, leading to a near disaster for the Resistance), while the white characters were given the actual plot, and actual plot resolution. remember, Poe is also mistaken in his plans, and eventually, the white woman Holdo was right all along.

now, let’s get into the open misogyny of Poe Dameron’s character. undercutting even Leia, and causing massive loss (all the bombers!!!) in the opening battle and acting like he was right. disbelief that the heroic Vice Admiral Holdo is a woman (that was such a jarring moment, wtf!!) and not trusting her, and her cautious ways. of course, the plot is awfully trying to make us think Holdo is a bad guy, simply by having her not relay her every decision to an underling, which she should do why!??! (because he is the man right?) the reveal is just awful and even if i read somewhere that some folk like how the second in command is bad trope was subverted, Holdo was highly mistreated by her inferior and we can only understand that it was because she was a woman.

why they chose to portray Poe this way, i don’t know. but the whole plot was very very poor and even if the end is quite satisfying, as Holdo’s cautious, womanly plan actually works, she saves the day, and Poe’s manly action plan fails, it still begs the question why was this whole plot necessary!?

what was also filler was the minute rivalry between Phasma and Finn, absolutely pointless. also, i know Finn / John Boyega is a main character, but after giving him a horrible plot, him sacrificing himself would’ve been a little more satisfying than him being “saved” by Rose out of love. that whole romance came out of nowhere! of course, with Finn sacrificing himself we wouldn’t have the epic Kylo - Luke confrontation, still the resolution of Finn’s sacrifice could’ve been better. Also, this romance feels made up just so they wouldn’t have to “ship” Finn with Rey, even if for sure, they have far better chemistry, an actual story together and real feelings for each other. maybe i am just looking into this from an inappropriate angle, but it did somehow bothered me that they aren’t willing to let Finn/Rey happen. while i certainly don’t ship anyone in the new movies, some chars have obvious chemistry together while some don’t!

finally, who is Snoke!? his death probably robs us of any possibility of finding out who he was. i mean, this guy seems far more powerful than the Emperor even, so where did he come from? was he another hidden apprentice!? was he the emperor in a new disguise!? was he just some random dude who happened to be exceptionally good with the Force? how could he come to power when Luke/Vader ended the sith in ROTJ!?! all these questions might never receive an answer. i mean, the whole Casino scene proves why an organization like the First Order can prosper and exist in the first place, as war is profitable as fuck. but there’s no explanation for this Force sensitive ultimate bad guy. ugh!

now what was truly atrocious: all the animals, the 4 tittieded animal Luke milks (blue milk! but are they telling me this is where Beru also got the milk? because for sure those creatures didn’t look like desert dwellers. and if it was imported, no wonder they were poor LOL), the island caretakers, the porgs, the animals Rose & Finn ride, all the Casino creatures. filler filler filler. this is pure disnification and it sucks

BB8 was also just awful. he was given R2D2 in ROTS powers, remember how bad it was when R2 started flying?!? BB8 showing up in the Imperial pacer was worse!! a true great reveal would’ve been if it was the BDT char coming to an unlikely rescue minutes after selling Rose & Finn out, but no. it had to be the wonder robot! how did he get up there in the first place!? that was horrendous. and i will finally say it. i hate BB8. i didn’t like it in TFA, but here i hated it. god!

and finally, the marvel type jokes seconds away from a highly emotional/intense moment. i understand the technique and even in marvel movies it is sometimes hit and miss, but in the tonally dark TLJ, where the resistance cannot catch a break, are taking loss after loss, with less and less hope and more and more deaths, these cute moments don’t fit at all. SW needs humour, even in its darkest movies, but not this type of humour. give us something else. or at least, give us the joke after the tears have started flowing, and not when they’re just still brimming in the eyes, that is not too much to ask!

overall, this is a 8.5 i would say, even if i have a lot of criticisms, the action scenes are brilliant and it has some real, amazing, SW-like moments.