#solely bc you hate lgbt people.......... good god

[morshiberna]

the things happening in turkey are especially hurtful to witness with the political debate happening in my country rn

[migleefulmoments]

I feel like we should go back and find their comments on how gorgeous Darren looked when he wore that "puke green" jacket. I'm sure they're out there somewhere. Funny how it's suddenly hideous bc Mia is wearing it.

I actually thought the same thing so when you wrote this I did go check Abby’s and Mleigh69′s blogs and nothing.  No comments about his clothing at all. There were lots of the generic “he looks so sad...my heart is breaking” nonsense and this from Abby.  

So I made a promise to myself recently to keep my blog focused on happy things and reasons why I believe in CrissColfer.  

But today my heart is breaking and I needed to say something on the off chance that anybody that matters or has control might be listening.  Because I feel like I am watching one of the people I admire most in the world being stripped of his soul and I don’t know how much longer I can continue to watch this train wreck. (wash-rinse-repeat)  Before I go on, I realize I care way too much about a person I have literally spoken to twice, for maybe, if I include the conversation he had with my friend, 5 minutes in total.  But I do. And the reason I care is that Darren has provided me with so much entertainment over the past 5 years and has continued to blow we away with his talent and truly believe, if allowed, the places he will go are limitless. (Oh, well as long as you think he’s limitless than please, speak up, bitch about what you don’t like about his life.  He’s listening)  And when I feel like his talent has been sidelined and his value as a commodity has become more important, not to mention getting press and PR for his beard, a person whose name would not be known if not for him, I become enraged. So since I woke up at 3 AM  (She’s been waking up and checking tumblr since 2015) and made the mistake of checking Tumblr to see if he appeared, I have felt sad and angry.  And no this anger is not directed at Darren, I still support him 100% and cannot imagine what it must be like to live his life, it is directed at the people controlling his life and playing games with it. (It’s never directed at Darren. She hates everything he does but it’s never his fault.) 

And I want to say to the powers that be, that my voice matters and that I support him regardless of his sexuality.  I buy tickets, I saw How to Succeed, A Starkid Show (where literally I was the oldest person without a child), Listen Up (2x), Hedwig (2x), Elsie, Gross Indecency and  I have tickets to the Alan Cumming Show in February.  Not to mention I have seen every episode of Glee despite the fact that it suffered so much creatively and forced myself to watch AHS to support him.  So my voice should be heard just as loud and clear as the hand full of people who will not accept him for anything but straight. (Darren’s life is a choose-your-adventure game and fans get a say.  also Abby watched all of glee AND AHS so she gets extra credit).  

And last night was a complete and utter failure First, there was NO purpose for him being there (He attended a fundraiser...there was plenty of purpose for him being there)  He was not an announced performer or presenter (People actually attend to give their support and money-I know, shocking).  Therefore the sole purpose was to place him on a red carpet and once again, remind us that he has a girlfriend (UGH).  

And then there was the interview, which could have been worse, but it certainly wasn’t good. Trevor is about youth advocacy, agreed, but about LGBT+ youth and I know Darren knows that and to diminish that is to take something away from the cause.  And I know Darren is passionate about this cause.  But I am certain he was briefed before the event on how to answer questions and to steer any conversation away that may even hint that he is anything but straight (which I believe completely, the evidence is there based on his words and actions).(What kind of weird dystopian world exists in your head Abby? Who in the world would “brief him” on what to say at an event? He’s a grown man..he decides what he wants to say). 

But what is bothering me so much isn’t the charade.  If I truly believed that this was what Darren wanted and needed and that it was good for his career, I would keep my mouth shut. B/c he is a 28 year man, and while I may not agree, he is entitled to make the decisions that he feels are best for himself and his career. (But what could he possible do to convince you? There is nothing because you rewrite, belittle, and deconstruct everything he does say to prove you wrong).

But instead, what we are watching is an utter and complete train wreck.   We are watching a man, who has not had a project of value to focus on in over 2 months, being paraded from event to event.  His eyes are utterly and completely lifeless and void.  His smile has become so fake and sad.  I don’t see how anyone who is watching this does not see how he is being destroyed.  And yes, I know he has a private life, and I am thankful for that, but no matter how amazing that may be (and I agree with many who have said this over the past 12 hours, this is NOT about shipping) he is literally at an event 5 or 6 nights a week, pretending to be a person he is not, generally accompanied by a person I can tell he is not comfortable with.  

So to me, last night, was a loss.  The only thing that was accomplished is that once again, fans that are invested and truly care about him, have been isolated.  (always about Abby.  The event was a Trevor Live fundraiser- it wasn’t a loss).

And I do ask the question, why?  I do believe the Darren we saw during Hedwig, was the true Darren as much as he can be while maintaining a public persona (including PR and bearding).  This was a man thriving, who prouldy wore nail polish,  was not afraid to participate in Pride and wear a sticker that said “God Mad Me Perfect” and to make the Col-Fur joke on a nightly basis.  

I have to wonder if he was sent to Italy for7 weeks to distance himself from the Hedwig Darren to the Darren PR thinks they need to make money.  B/c since his return, the bearding and the PR Darren has been non-stop and it is painful to watch.  And it needs to stop.

Darren, I know you troll Tumblr and I know you read these things, I really hope you know that there are so many people who support and love and accept you. And maybe Hollywood is not the place for you right now, but I now Broadway would embrace you with open arms.  And yes, I understand there is a contract.  And I am not asking for you to reveal the truth or do anything that would be harmful or interfere with your personal life and relationships (regardless of who they are with). But there has to be a way that you can comply with the terms and conditions of that contract without causing serious damage to your mental health.

So I say, Bravo Ricky, Bravo PR, Bravo Fox, Bravo Ryan and Bravo Mia.  I hope you are all happy that you are contributing to what I see as the destruction of an incredibly talented, beautiful soul.

Off my soap box, done with my rant, I will try to go back to keeping my blog drama free, but this needed to be said.

[magical-agatha]

god my fuckin temperament is too weak to handle thinking about inguinal hernias anymore today. this: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-testicular-pain is still the only link i can find that has any confirmation of it as a danger to trans women who tuck. but it doesn't go into detail about how the actual hernia is occurring and what the relationship is with tucking. but at least it confirms a correlation so i know that it is in fact a danger and not just wild speculation or something based solely on one person’s experience, which may or may not reflect the rest of the community. from what i can guess its probably like? pushing the testicles into the inguinal cavity is distending it and weakening the muscles, which is allowing the intestines to slip through into the cavity. i wonder if theres like, something in this to do with like, physical exertion, bc it could also be that tucking is creating a weakness that is getting exacerbated by a moment of physical exertion? or maybe by moving in a way that like, affects the muscles in there? idk. there really isnt a lot of info about this and im not a doctor so the best i can do is speculation. but i dont think the idea that tucking is distending the inguinal cavity which is weakening the associated abdominal muscles is too extreme of a jump. this is one of those times where i really really wish there was more medical information and research about trans bodies, bc most of what there is is sporadic and incomplete and the rest is sourceless uhh, whats the word, when its just based off a persons experience being recounted without any like, reliable research or info. starts with A. im very tired lol. point is i wish there was more info out there cuz there really isnt a lot and im scared ppl are going to get hurt bc of that. this is also like, opening my eyes a lot about how uncertain the information i have in general about like, my body and the bodies of other trans women. bc im finding inconsistent info about things i thought were facts, like for example tucking has always been held up to be perfectly safe, but ive never been able to do it without it hurting, and apparently like?? the whole ‘hrt will turn you infertile’ thing might be inconsistent too? apparently it happens to some but not others. and the thing about like, ‘you WILL lose the function of your dick’ (with the implied ‘but thats a good thing’ that has always pissed me off) and my dick still works, it works differently and i cum and orgasm differently than i did before hrt but it still very much works, it just seems to follow different rules? and i still cum and i can still get hard, both of those things were supposed to stop happening but they didnt. it just like.. went through a process of being reprogrammed so it behaves differently now. cuz there was a period where i couldnt orgasm and i couldnt cum, but then i could again, and now my orgasms are totally different than they were when i was pre hrt. instead of it being like, sudden and intense and overwhelming, it builds up slowly to a peak, then gradually declines from there and leaves you feeling warm throughout and very very soft. and my hen leaks precum constantly when im aroused, and then when i cum it shoots a little bit out then like, leaks goo for the next half hour, not a little bit either. its a mess.

there was something else i wanted to say here but i forgot it. all in all im just. mad that the only ppl who care about the health of trans ppl are some doctors and trans ppl themselves. and that information about our bodies is inconsistent even between professionals. i cant be sure that my doctor actually knows how my body works and whats best for me. it makes it so much harder to trust doctors and feel safe when i see them. what a nightmare. i want to help ppl. i want to find and compile info about our bodies to keep us all safe but i can barely look after myself and i cant commit to doing that. i have to focus on myself. so all i can rly do is like, give advice and try to warn ppl of potential dangers and do what research i can. which is what we’re all doing. the danger is when personal biases conflict with caring for the safety of other ppl, which is the root of all the problems with trans medical stuff i think. whether its doctors enforcing their biases on trans ppl thru medical advice/medicine, or trans ppl themselves giving advice that is warped by their personal beliefs. it leads to misinformation and inconsistency and thats dangerous. that means people getting hurt. so i have to be careful when i give advice to be aware of my own personal biases. such as like, i hate tucking, but i cant tell ppl to just not tuck bc its not my body, i dont know if theres a way to tuck safely or not, so instead i have to tell ppl to be careful and to be aware of potential risks, and to listen to their body bc pain and discomfort are important indicators of harm being done. but im scared that will be lost in the tide of ‘tuck or you arent a real trans woman, you need tucking to pass, it cant hurt you’ that has been spread among us for a really long time.

i feel like this is like, tied to another big problem which is the like, necessity and obsession with passing. which are two very different things. necessity is like, passing to be safe, which i feel like has room to accept that tucking might not be totally safe and comes with certain risks, because it isnt about affirming self worth or identity, only about staying safe. then obsession, which might not be the best word but it will do for now, by that i mean ppl who feel they Have to pass at all costs, bc they think that if they dont they arent a real woman or something like that. they tie passing to self worth and identity, if they dont pass they are worthless or incomplete or like, inferior to cis women, and they will do anything to pass, with little to no regard for personal safety. they will do risky things like skipping meals or tucking unsafely bc they want to pass at any cost. but they spread their perspective on this through advice to other trans women, telling them they need to tuck and they need to wear makeup and they need to do voice training and get implants and srs and all manner of things or they are a trender. a faker. they put insecurities into other trans women and bully each other to propagate their personal biases and force other trans women to conform. most trans women pre hrt are extremely vulnerable and lost, which is when these obsessive trans women give them bad advice and twist them to their world view. that happened to me. i got sucked into that when i was trying to figure out my identity and needed validation. luckily i got out of that and i know better now. its really fucked. ive talked about like, versions of this idea before. that there are two kinds of trans ppl, those who love being trans and those who hate is and want to be cis. and i think as im getting a bit older and learning more and getting further thru my transition im starting to put together a bigger picture of the interplay between all of this stuff. like, the interactions between cis society and its expectations of trans ppl, how trans ppl deal with those expectations and how they deal with living and moving in a cis society thats hostile to trans ppl. this is all one big mess. and thats not even touching on the interactions between terfs, transmeds, and the various levels of trans communities both online and irl. its an absolute nightmare. and then as well there’s like, further interactions with like, nb and gender diverse ppl, gay vs straight trans ppl, intersex ppl, exclusionists, and the mess that the current lgbt+ community online is. i could write a book about this. im living in a nightmare. a massive roiling chaotic community thats fighting itself and the world around it and trying to survive and destroy the parts of itself that it thinks arent ‘valid’. which sounds like a metaphor for my experiences as a trans woman. god and theres more i keep forgetting. im so scatterbrained tonight. i havent had enough sleep to be trying to talk about something so complex as this. and im destroying my hands by typing this much. time to stop. i can sort all this out later. what a mess.

[kurtwagners]

What did you think of the new issue of Champions?

Oh my god i was so fucking stressed out about miles��when he snapped and pushed both sam and kamala away i could feel my heart break! He really didn’t learn anything from Peter if he thinks its fine to make a deal with mephisto huh… Also I’m really worried about the fate of vivheart now if riri completely rejects viv I will be. so upset. 

It was an exciting issue and I feel like it was a pretty good start for the reboot. I’ve been wanting to rant about Champions though and you kind of opened up this avenue for me with your question so I’m sorry but I’m gonna release it all here:

So I feel like the interpersonal relationships of the core champions members is still not fleshed out enough. Shifting the focus to so many new side members isn't the direction I would have gone in personally… I still really don’t know how a lot of characters feel about each other or work as a team, so introducing so many new members, even if they’re back-ups, is stressful and distracting. For me, the main selling point of teen superhero groups is character relationships and drama over the grandiose “political” or event-based narratives of the x-men or avengers so I dunno. I’m just not really feeling this decision.

This leads to one of my major issues with the entire series: I would prefer if Champions continued to focus on core group stories that involve each member’s own communities rather then constantly enforcing the abstract idea of champions as a larger, global movement. While it's supposed to be inspirational, I feel like Mark Waid’s original execution of this was flawed because the champions didn’t earn their success. A group of mostly nonwhite teen superheroes (and a mutant with a history of being labeled a “terrorist leader”) is immediately loved and supported by the general public? sounds fake but okay. There was no struggle for recognition that made me want to root for this team of underdogs, and when they did struggle it felt hollow and flat bc it was just instances of Waid using these diverse characters as his liberal soapbox for his really basic and uninspiring takes. 

I just don’t really understand why it's necessary for the Champions to participate in superhero foreign intervention when their own communities at home need so much help. Police brutality and the treatment of black people in America, abuses committed by ICE/border police and Latinx rights, post 9-11 rampant Islamophobia, indigenous fist nations/inuit rights in Canada, racism against Asian Americans/Asian identity politics, and homelessness and abuse of LGBT youth are all issues that I feel like could be executed successfully using the Champions as a platform. The key is that each member has a personal connection to the issue, which can help further their character development while addressing an important and relevant matter that young people should be aware of in a nuanced way. Two birds one stone. This CAN be done successfully with proper research and consultation. I’m not saying this type of narrative should be the sole focus for Champions (Weirdworld was fun) but I feel like it could be more successful then “Champions has 35 members and we’re going to _____ country we barely know anything about to save people”. Kamala literally learns her lesson from Red Dagger about how meddling in another country without the proper understanding can be harmful in Ms. Marvel when she goes to Pakistan (her own home country!), but because Jim Zub doesn’t have a grasp on intersectional immigrant identities like G. Willow Wilson does he doesn’t understand why a metaphor for “good-intentioned” American foreign intervention can be insensitive and suspicious. How do these teenagers have access to the resources and funding to execute an international movement anyway?! This all really is Avengers territory… (especially when it comes to US propaganda ie the Western savior complex in relation to foreign aid) The Champions are just really giving me Peace Corps/missionary trip vibes and I hate it, especially since out of all people this diverse group of heroes should have the most sensitivity about this.

Jim Zub has done some things right though, I adore Amka! But I want to know more about her!). These are just my “if I wrote Champions here’s how I would fix it” thoughts. If he just works a little more on characterization and team dynamics I’ll be satisfied.

[ruler-of-turtle-kind]

Hello! I am a Christian and I've seen what you and in-christalone were discussing. I am not here to tell you that you are not a Christian or do/say anything hateful or vindictive. Just offer some extra insight. I will preface this by saying that I can understand your reasoning and how you came to the conclusion you did (I can't say I agree, I see your reasoning). From what I can tell, it is something that you have thought about a lot. The thing with it is, from what I understand, is that while the brain may develop before the genitals- the brain that is there is not in and of itself gendered. Overall DNA would decide gender, not the brain itself. Female and male brains are different yes, but, from my understanding (as I am imperfect and can be wrong), those differences are in response to the existence of the sex organs, male/female hormones, and anatomy- upon development. So if this is the case, it would then make sense that the dysphoria is a mental, and not anatomical issue, right? If that is so, then it would be a situation where it is mind VS body. Another example of which, is body dysmorphia. To me, it makes more sense to heal the mind so it can accept the body, instead of changing the body to suit the mind. Especially with the alternative being invasive procedures, which are much more prone to going wrong and causing more harm than healthy therapies (emphasis on healthy, bc I know there have been a lot of unhealthy means of therapy/conversion for everyone under the lgbt spectrum). For example. If I think that I am to fat, but my body is perfectly healthy, would it be good for me to have liposuction when I don't need it? (most doctors would refuse to do it, after all.) Or would it be better to learn to accept my body as it is and be comfortable with it, without the risks that surgery can entail? Yes some people do actually need it, but those people's bodies are not healthy and the benefits they would have outweigh the risk. But the only way people die without gender-corrective surgeries, is when they become suicidal over it- which is, again, a mental condition that can be helped via therapy. Would one not be able to argue that God gave us therapy in order to combat gender dysphoria, like we have glasses and prosthetics for those who need them- without having to resort to expensive, harsh procedures to make those who experience gender dysphoria feel okay in their skin? That all said, I do believe that if an adult wants the surgery, they should be permitted to do with the body they were given as they wish. My overall point being is that, your perspective is worth thought (because I have come to learn that mankind can misinterpret what the Bible is trying to tell us- I mean, with all the different denominations there are, that is a pretty hard thing to argue.) but overall... I still disagree. I hope I'm not coming across as condescending, hateful, or anything like that. I am just offering a little extra food for thought...Im sorry of course if this is just rehashing a lot of things you have heard before. And by no means should you pressured to answer this if you do not want to. I'm not sending this in looking for an argument. It's just out of concern.

First off, anon, I would like to say that you're a delight. Thank you for being kind. ^^

So, while I understand the perspective that the brain is not gendered in utero, that is simply not correct. Now, I will preface this by saying that I may be incorrect, but what influences development of the baby's gender is the hormones present during development. And the baby's gender can sometimes switch mid-development (I think, gotta do more research on that. My support for this is solely because during my brother's first ultrasound, they thought he was a girl.) That's, I believe, the source of gender incongruence. I'm open to someone more learned than myself to telling me I'm wrong.

But, as you can see, it is incorrect to compare gender dysphoria to something like body dysmorphia, as one is a neurological issue, and the other is a mental disorder. It would be more accurate, in my opinion, to compare it to something like ADHD. It's something that cannot be changed about a person. However, it cannot be treated the way that adhd is, because it is not due to any chemical imbalances. It's just straight up their brain being wired differently than their body.

The reason that we have gender affirming surgeries in the first place is because, if someone truly has gender dysphoria, it does not go away with therapy. However! I always suggest trans people go to therapy first to make sure it isn't something else. The issue is that for trans people, their depression, anxiety, etc, is caused by their gender dysphoria, not the other way around. Why? Because their brain is wired differently than their body. And to only treat the symptoms instead of the source is incorrect treatment. It'd be like only giving someone with strep throat cough medicine instead of antibiotics.

Now, this all being said, things are different for Christians. We can't go changing our genders willy nilly, because God has called us all to different things. We should instead go to Him in prayer to find His will for our lives. For some, that will be gender affirming surgeries. For others, it will be to treat the symptoms. Why the difference? They both can help guide fellow trans people in the way that God wants them to go. And, in the case of the latter, can offer coping mechanisms to people that don't really have gender dysphoria, but still struggle.

Hope this helps! ^^