#social anxiety really fucks with your perception of reality. i don't want to say like.. to the level of delusions but it will have you

[the-voice-of-night-vale]

social anxiety can be really funny in retrospect bc it will have you saying shit like 'is it weird to call a doctor's office and schedule an appointment?"with 100% sincerity and panicking about it as if that's not the silliest thing in the world

[fairycosmos]

Can I please ask what caused you a trauma? I don't know if I can ask this so sorry if not. I ask because I always feel like what has happened to me is not enough and not a 'good excuse' and not really deserved to cause trauma. i experienced bullying for many years and i have post trauma and social anxiety and I hate myself and i was hospitalized because depression and social anxiety but I ALWAYS!! feel that i don't! deserve! a treatment because other people experienced worse things

hey is it okay if i’m sort of vague about the first question? i don’t consider myself to be a traumatized person but Some Things Have Fucked Me Up. mostly just,,, my early childhood i was living in really unsafe situations, so some things happened to me bc of that. my parents were alcoholics lmao and they didn’t realize what they were doing to me. dealing with addiction and mental illness at a young age is weird. n even when i got a bit older there was a few instances that messed me up, the bullying got worse and my family was struggling, i won’t go into detail but most of it stems from back then. i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m just listing a bunch of dumb problems, i just want you to understand where i’m coming from but ANYWAYS what i actually want to say is this:there’s no standard you need to meet in order to make what you’ve been through valid. the fact that other people have had it worse doesn’t change the reality of your situation, and of what you’ve been through. people treating you like shit is bound to have an impact on you and your mental state and your perception of the world, especially if it was happening for a long time during your formative years. stop questioning why you feel the way you do and accept that you’re hurt, that it’s okay to be hurt as long as you know that help is available. if your best friend was dealing with what you’re dealing with, would you tell them to get over it bc other people have suffered too?? of course not, right?? well try to treat yourself with that same level of tact and care. you weren’t treated the way you should’ve been treated. it’s unfair. you’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be upset. i saw a quote once that said something along the lines of ‘someone that drowns in 2 feet of water is just as dead as someone that drowns in 100 feet of water.’ i think that applies here. no matter how insignificant your experiences feel, they’re still yours to claim. they still happened to you. the pain you felt won’t just go away bc you are empathetic towards others.

and as far as depression and social anxiety goes - sometimes there is no definitive cause. it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, it’s not always circumstantial. please, please don’t prevent yourself from getting the help you need just bc of what your brain is telling you. mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. this is an extreme example, but if you had meningitis, you wouldn’t not get help just because other people have cancer, right? if you need help, you need help. theres no ifs ands or buts about it. all you need to do is take the first step and reach out. talk to your parents about getting in touch with a counselor or a doctor again, particularly bc you’ve been hospitalized, and then just see where it goes from there. if your brain tries to convince you that you don’t deserve it, then recognize them feelings of inadequacy but don’t let them control you, okay? that’s the key here. i really hope you’re able to get what you need. i’m sending you so much love ok!! n just know that i’m always here if you need to talk. hmu anytime :)