#social anxiety cant be helped but at no point should you ever feel genuinely uncomfortable

[hella1975]

I'm going to my first party next week for my friend's birthday and I'm very nervous because I've never drank before and I'm not sure how to act in general 😭 do you have any advice?

omg i have you covered for this romantic advice im dogshit at but PARTIES i can do okay;

dont do anything you dont want to. i hate to sound like a boring mum type but i hope that if u know my blog enough to send this you at least know that i KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT and also i am not a mum type, so hearing it from me of all people should be a big warning that im speaking facts here. i mean it. if you dont want to drink, dont. if you dont want to stay overnight, dont. if you dont want to kiss someone, DONT. i know it can seem like you HAVE to and you dismiss what adults tell you bc they tend to come from the angle of 'when you're older you wont even remember these things and it will feel silly so you might as well not do it', but genuinely from someone who is still a teenager and remembers these things vividly - it's not a matter of growing out of it; it's a matter of it not being worth it if things go wrong. seriously. you wont be glad of feeling momentarily cool if things take a wrong turn. i get it peer pressure is HORRIBLE, but if you put yourself out of your comfort zone too much you can genuinely wind up in really really terrible situations at a party. ive heard some awful horror stories and some of my own worst memories that i still have to deal with to this day years later stem from parties where i didnt set my boundaries (in an attempt to 'fit in') and people took advantage. so just stick to what YOU want

keep tabs on your friends! mostly bc that'll make you feel safer but also this is generally a good rule to stick by. also make it clear to them that you want them to keep tabs on you too. if you're super nervous, choose the friend you're most comfortable around and just latch onto them for the night. it really eases things just having a familiarity in a new space

'how to act in general' there's no rules! if you want to stay with your friends all night, do it! if you want to meet new people, start a conversation! just do what makes you happy and try not to overthink it

if you do want to drink (and there's nothing wrong with that!) but you've never done it before, then take it slow. dont do more than two shots of ANYTHING at one time, specifically harder spirirts (vodka, tequila, gin, rum). if it feels like it's not hitting you but you know you've drunk enough that it should, DO NOT DRINK MORE. i promise it will hit LMAO. having said that, alcohol typically does hit very quickly, so if after 10/15 mins you still feel the exact same, you should be good. it's very subjective though so listen to what your body is telling you (there's always the bathroom trick; something about sitting down in the bathroom at a party makes you realise very suddenly that you're drunk lmao, i cant explain it)

if someone is offering you an alcohol you've not heard of, it's probably best to check the bottle yourself unless you trust them. if the percentage is higher than 10% then it's reasonably strong, and if it's over 20% then it's strong enough to be taken as a shot. if anyone tries to undersell how strong it is, get the fuck away from them. i dont care if they're joking it's weird and DANGEROUS to lie to people about shit like that. if it's your first time, rather be too sober than too drunk