#soapy. hands numb from the hot water. scrubbing dishes with barely any strength. crying. begging god for mercy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

simptasia · 4 months

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bless all the nurses who sincerely told me i'd make a great nurse, during the months my mum was dying and i was taking care of her near constantly to the point of around the clock emotional and physical exhaustion. and then i'd have to, thank them but gently inform them I'm Only Doing This Well Because I Have To

#like ''haha words cannot describe how badly i dont wanna be in this situation''#typically i'd say ''oh i couldn't handle the stress''#and they'd be like ''whaaat you're doing great!''#yeah 1. i fucking had to be. my mum was dying and needed to be cared for #and 2. i was in pain everywhere all the time #anyways i have a lot of nurse skills now. indeed i was often doing a better job than Actual Trained Nurses #but like. the toll on me was insane #well... in a weird way this proves i'd make a good mother #in the sense that i'll never fucking give up. but lord i really hope i have some fucking help #there were several times during The Five Months Of Hell #where i was wishing i had siblings to help me out #i distinctly remembering wishing that whilst slumped over into the second hour of doing dishes #soapy. hands numb from the hot water. scrubbing dishes with barely any strength. crying. begging god for mercy #...i fucking hate the dishes #silly wish really because having siblings doesn't inherently mean they woulda lived with us or helped out :(

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