#soap opera + sitcom in the making featuring just a little more murder than average

[sparrow-stunned]

Sooner or later at this point platonic Zhongli is going to snap he already lost guizhong and now his beloved precious daughter is living in either a cave or ruins of mondstadt he's probably having a break down at mama guizhongs grave trying to see where he went wrong without her help raising their baby I wouldn't be surprised if he goes all mother gothel or story book dragon(but better because Zhongli) to try and keep his child "where they belong" because the poor old dragon doesn't won't to let his child leave the nest especially with Venti

He's probably talking to cloud retainer to like

Zhongli: my baby left the abode for some no good no money no home bard

Cloud retainer: one remembers when little ganyu left to the harbor and now one has shenhe who hasn't left there's still a chance my lord

Zhongli: you're right I can either dispose of that no good dirty bard that is barbatos or just keep my little one in liyue

Cloud retainer: I mean sure my lord but shenhe just stays in order to not start a massacre and I want her to at least leave from time to time

Ooh now we're getting into less funny overprotective dad and more scary territory with a snapped zhongli. (I’m not gonna go the very very dark route because that’s a little too close to not funny things, so.) but yes, every time he looks at venti, it’s just… guizhong died for this?? piece of shit???? to touch my child????

i can just imagine zhongli standing in guili plains or sitting on that stone table near cloud retainer’s abode, eyes distant as he reminiscences over the past. Something something osmanthus wine, but then he gets so angry thinking about the marriage/little dragon leaving the nest that he just. crushes a cup into splinters accidentally without even realizing, until cloud retainer scolds him it.

for zhongli, I think it’d be hard to look at his child and realize, oh. they're not a child anymore. he doesn’t have to act so paternal all the time. I mean, if we look at canon, he only just recently gave up his role as geo archon. the man has a problem with letting things go.

but before he realizes—if he does, it’ll take decades, if not centuries—I think he would definitely try some “let’s isolate my little one… they’re just not thinking straight. some time out, and they would realize what an awful decision it would be to leave liyue.” while I think he usually wouldn’t be this, em, severe—he’s pretty levelheaded, being god of contracts and all—he doesn’t realize that he’s kind of latching onto darling as some kind of tie to the past. It’s always the nostalgia that gets you.

as for venti, I think zhongli genuinely does trust venti—but not with his child. zhongli barely trusts himself with them, how can he just let his little one wander into what he considers to be a lawless land (when compared to liyue’s legal code).

I love, love that conversation between cloud retainer and zhongli. really lets you see the difference in their thinking— adaptable vs rigidness. for all of cloud retainer’s haughtiness, she’s actually pretty lenient with her wards. she’s considerate about what’s the best for them, whereas zhongli is just all, ‘how can i return to what our relationship was like in the past?’

can you just imagine zhongli writing in a little book of all the ways to… put venti out of action, to put it politely.

zhongli: okay, so let’s start brainstorming some ideas. i think it’d be pretty hard even for the anemo archon to escape being crushed by a million spears. or we can keep him from seeing my little one by making sure they never leave liyue.

cloud retainer: that’s a bit… too forward thinking.

zhongli: okay you’re right, instead of a million spears, let’s say a thousand. that should be a good number to start with. we can always add more if we need to.

cloud retainer: I feel like we’re not on the same wavelength….

(bonus for venti rifling through zhongli’s stuff to try and impress his spouse’s parent and finds just a book, full of very detailed, graphic ways of disemboweling someone that looks oddly like him. descriptions of a person also has two braids, and green eyes, and—holy shit, he says to darling, I think your dad is trying to kill me. like actually planning to do it.

don't be ridiculous, darling says, rolling their eyes. if he really wanted it, you wouldn’t be alive to find out about it.)