#so. i really shouldnt trust any of those sorts of feelings 😭

[wuntrum]

loose photostudy (ref)

[oraclekleo]

Hi so you are wise to me and i like your bluntness so id like to ask your opinion on a matter

I do this combat sports and we are 2/3 women but it happens that im the only one and the rest being all men

Last time we were doing push ups and the guy next to me wasnt doing them proprely and the coach said something along the lines of "what the hell are those push ups shouldnt you try to impress the young girl next to you?" and i know its just a joke to tease the guy but i didnt like it im here to train like them not to be impressed by guys 😭 also i felt bad for the man

(also when the guys dont work hard enough the coach says they should go to the womens class)

i really like this coach as a teacher but its kind of annoying as a woman

do you see what i mean about the comment about impressing me ? maybe i am over reacting i know its not really bad or anything

Hello!

I totally get why the comment made you feel uncomfortable or angry even and it surely felt bad for the guy, too.

I mean this is the whole issue with the toxic masculinity going around. The coach clearly hints that the only motivation for someone to do better is to impress the opposite sex. The guy might not be even interested in women, or maybe, just maybe he also goes there only to do training and not to hit on women because that would be pathetic. The coach clearly has no idea what they are implying with it and you are right to notice that kind of behaviour. Next time don't be shy and tell them that you're not some sort of a carrot hanging in front of a donkey, that you are a person and you go there to do something for yourself and not to be used for anything. The coach in general sounds like a pretty annoying person to me. Using you as if you weren't a person to motivate someone, bullying guys, what's worse by again putting women down... I mean, I know this is a usual thing when it comes to sports but it truly needs to stop and really, if you feel uncomfortable about what your coach says or does, voice it! This is a person you should trust, they oversee your training. If they behave in a way that's disrespectful, they should know about it. You know... People will never change how they act or talk when they are not told that what they do or say is unacceptable.

I'm not saying you should start yelling at your coach but just politely and calmly express how such comments make you feel and how truly outdated and unacceptable they are. I have learned that the calmer and more reasonable and logical you remain in any kind of argument, the better chances for you to win because the moment emotions take over, you lose, no matter how good your arguments are because the other party, especially a man, won't take you seriously. So yeah. Calm and decent approach but don't feel shy and set the boundaries. Most people will understand the point and correct their ways when explained. Only psychos and freaks will continue doing something they were told not to.

Rooting for you and I hope you can feel safe and unbothered during your trainings. 💖💖💖