#so yeah its all a bit mad and my mums blood pressure is also really high when normally its low but i think thats from stress lmao

[timoswerner]

im gonna scream its all going off

[rogue-durin-16]

STICK TOGETHER

Summary: When Fred finds out Y/n is planning on leaving the Wizarding World, he canalizes his feelings in the worst way possible, which leads to a terrible outcome that seems unfixable.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: swearing

A/N: @meph1stophelian is here putting pressure on me to post this already so I'm apologizing for the poorly written ending lmaoo enjoy <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

"Fred, calm down." George begged me; he walked by my side, trying to talk some sense into me, but it was not the moment. "You gotta understand her— throwing a fit isn't going to help anyone—" I didn't even look in my twin's direction while he spoke. "Bloody hell, Fred—"

"Y/n!" I quickened my pace, leaving George behind after spotting her in one of the corridors, having a chat with a couple of Ravenclaws. "Can I have a word?"

"Sure— Oi!" I hadn't waited for her to reply before grabbing her hand and snatching her away to pull her into the nearest broom closet. "What was that about?"

"Tell me I heard Katie wrong and you're not actually leaving."

"I can't tell you that." She plainly responded, her voice steady.

A single, gobsmacked snide left my throat. "You're joking, right?" My heart ached as if it was being constricted when she shook her head no. "So you're fleeing?"

"What?"

"Things are getting ugly so you're running away."

Her eyes dug into mines as she stayed in a very uncomfortable silence before replying with. "So what if I am?" When I averted my eyes from hers, she called my name. Her eyes were somewhat softer now, with a gleam of plea in them. "For the last two years we had nothing but tragedy. Diggory died, You-Know-Who is back and recruiting, the ministry is full on going against a teenager, this pink colored nasty toad is physically abusing us, and on top of that, I have to put up with my housemates' bullshit for having muggle blood— I'm tired!" Her voice had raised a bit, enough for me to know she was struggling to keep it at bay, but still managed to. "If I can have a life out of this then—"

"You're a coward."

"Fred." there was a warning on her tone, but I couldn't listen.

"You're leaving... people behind," she attempted to reason; I didn't let her. "Dunno why I'm surprised, really. At the end of the day you're a Slytherin for a reason."

Her eyes started to well up, and I couldn't tell if it was with anguish or fury. I knew I was getting under her skin, but that was exactly what I intended to do; if I was going to leave that room scarred, so would she.

"Self-preservation, you call it." I scoffed, feeling my own rage building up faster each passing second. "Pure cowardy."

"Is that what you think?" Her tone wasn't steady anymore; she was holding back the poison of her words, for my sake.

"Yeah." I wasn't capable of doing the same thing for hers. "And I don't want your cheap excuses and emotional manipulation to convince me otherwise." My face was probably red due to the anger, my jaw and fists hurt from clenching them; I was off the rails, and the person who would usually stop me was standing in front of me. "Better leave now so you don't have the chance to sell us out when shit goes down."

Silence fell upon us, our gazes locked, equally watery and with the same amount of fury and sadness within them.

And finally she snapped. "Maybe I'm a coward, but you're a self-absorbed prat who's not able to see beyond your own ego!" The way she said it hurt me more than the sentence itself. "This is not gonna be a DADA class, Fred! I don't want to fucking die because I was too slow casting Protego."

"Good luck, Y/l/n." I curtly wished her before stalking out of the broom closet I have initially dragged her into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

We avoided each other for a week. The following Monday, when I entered the Great Hall, I found George and Katie quite depressed.

"What's gotten into you?"

They shared a look before my brother turned to me, deciding to break the news himself.

"Y/n left last night." He gave me an apologetic look. "Thought she'd wait until the graduation—"

"But she's had enough." Katie finished, toying with her breakfast. "Honestly, I wish I had a life in the muggle world too."

My lungs were refusing to take the air inside; I felt as if I would choke if I stayed there, so I stormed out, jogging to reach the countryard.

I needed to breathe.

Even after the wind hit my face, that vital task felt like the most difficult thing in the world to accomplish.

I hate her I hate her I hate her I hate her.

A sob escaped my chest, realising the harsh words I had spat at her were probably the last ones she would ever hear from me.

I love her.

A Year And A Half Later

READER'S P. O. V.

I managed to apparate somewhere in the cornfield —the only place around the Burrow I remembered clearly.

I should have landed with a broom, but apparently, Mad-Eye didn't inform Lupin that I would serve as an extra escort for Harry if they were ambushed, so my broom was now smashed somewhere down the muggle road we had flown over.

Mentally cursing the damn moment in which I spoke to Shacklebolt in hopes of being useful in this war, I looked for the entrance of the Weasley home, which took me quite a while.

Funnily enough, it was Lupin who stepped out, wielding his wand and casting yet another hex at me that I somehow managed to block.

With a swift wave of my hand, he was propelled back into the house. "YOU!" A long-haired redhead I recognized as the eldest Weasley helped my old Professor up as I stalked to them with my wand up. "YOU HEXED MY BLOODY BROOM! I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!"

"Y/n, calm down—" Shacklebolt was now besides me with his hands up. "He didn't know you were coming— he was trying to protect George from further harm."

My brain was slow to process his words, but as soon as it did, I started to down my arm. "What happened?"

"Snape hit him with the sectumsempra." My eyes widened at Lupin's heavy words.

"Did everyone else make it?" The three of them remained silent, the ginger shaking his head no.

My breath caught up in my throat, but before I could ask if Fred was alright, another tall ginger flashed the corner of my eye, and my head snapped to the living room's door.

FRED'S P. O. V.

Everyone was scattered around the house. Ginny took Hermione and Fleur to her room; Ron and Harry made its way up too; Tonks went out —she needed a moment alone to mourn Mad-Eye—, and, while my parents and I stayed with George, Lupin, Shacklebolt and Bill went to guard the entrance.

I was still kneeling by George's side, holding his hand while our mother healed his wound the best she could, when we heard a yell followed by a strong blow in the kitchen.

I looked at my mum and dad, my eyes flickering to my twin while I reached for my wand.

As I got up, more yells were heard, this time clearer; the voice was familiar— I knew that voice all too well.

There she stood, at the entrance of my home.

Her eyes met mines as soon as she caught a glimpse of me, and my head started to spin. I knew I had no right to do what I was about to do, but after that night's events, in which the war became very much real, I couldn't help but rush to her and engulf her in a tight hug.

Surprisingly enough, I couldn't take more than two steps forward, since she did what I intended to do first.

"You're alright." She mumbled against my shoulder. My eyes shut, trying to block the tears that threatened to fall. "How's he?" She inquired whilst pulling away with a concerned frown.

Not trusting my voice, I nodded in the living room's direction. A quiet sough escaped my lips as she passed by, her hands lingering on my arms for a brief instant before she entered the room and took careful steps towards the settee.

I barely caught a couple of words from George and Y/n's exchange, my mind still buzzing due to the shock.

"What do you say, Freddie?" I frowned at my twin, regretting not listening to the conversation. "She can take my bed, right? I'm not gonna get far anyway."

"Right." I agreed, struggling for my voice to come out steady. It was Y/n we were talking about; I had known her since our fourth year, I had been friends and more with her, seeing her shouldn't be that nerve-wracking.

A couple of minutes later, we were all heading to our respective rooms, and as I closed my room's door behind me and Y/n, it dawned on me that I had underestimated the anxiety that could cause me being left alone with her.

Get it together, Fred.

"If you want, you can grab a shirt from the drawer." I finally managed to speak, motioning at the chest besides the window. She nodded and turned to it to look for one she could sleep in.

Now that I had the opportunity, I carefully observed her, and soon realized how much she had changed in the time we were apart. Not only when it came to her physical appearance; she stood a bit straighter, talked a little calmer; the joy with which she used to sparkle was dim now, eclipsed by a severe, worried attitude— a sign of us no longer being the kids who messed around at Hogwarts.

"I missed you" I knew right away that wasn't the best start for the conversation.

"It sure didn't seem like it." The bitterness in her tone stung my heart harsher than I expected.

"You're still mad?" The way I was conducting the conversation was making me want to bang my head against the wall.

She sighed, turning around now that she had the shirt on to meet my gaze. "A year and a half, Fred. You didn't contact me for a year and a half. I thought we were friends."

"You left me behind!" I talked back, partly because I panicked, but also because I, to my surprise, was still mad too. "What did you even expect?"

"A letter?" She questioned, throwing herself down on the bed. "I mean— I didn't really expect anything, but a letter would have been a good way to let me know you didn't fucking hate me." My eyes, now fixed on my lap, went wide when Y/n's voice broke at her last three words.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, quite ashamed of having to apologise while also being scared of saying anything that could harm her further. "I'm sorry about not writing and- uh... I'm sorry about what I said to you. I know it's not an excuse but I was really mad and..." I cleared my throat and felt the blush creeping up my neck even before I finished the sentence. "... and hurt 'cause you- I thought that maybe I wasn't important enough to you and- yeah, I'm sorry about what I said." I tried meeting her eyes but they were fixed on the wall before her.

"It's fine." She shrugged, "I guess you were right anyway."

"I wasn't right-"

"You were." She hugged her knees to her chest and hid her face there. "Wanna know why I'm back?" She didn't need my response. "They're hunting down my family." My heart stopped beating for a second due to the shockingly deadpanning tone. "A friend gave me a tip-off— they were tracking them down. I got to them just in time." I refrained myself from asking about them —the less I knew, the better. "So yeah, you're right, I was a coward and left people behind."

My body shot up and my legs carried me to George's bed; without me being fully aware of what I was doing or which consequences it could have, I sat down and pulled Y/n into my arms.

Though she was shocked at first, her body soon relaxed into the familiarity of my arms, and she let out a relieved sigh. "You're not alone on this." I whispered, pecking her crown. "I'm here, okay?"

"So you don't hate me?" She murmured against my chest.

Maybe it was the fragility of her voice, or the warmth of her embrace I missed so much; maybe it was this past year and a half of regret, or the night's events, but I couldn't hold back my words.

"I love you."

And even though she went stiff, even if I had just blurted them out almost in accident, I didn't regret saying them, because I, in fact, loved her.

She pulled away to look into my eyes. "You mean it?"

"Yeah." I replied, calmer than I had been in a while. "And I'm really sorry about everything, if I could turn back time—" words and air were cut off by her lips crashing against mines.

We had kissed before, but it was on a bet's behalf or to prank someone; this was different, this was her pouring her 'I love you' into actions, and I embrace it gladly.

"No more running away." I commanded when she pulled back. "From now on, we stick together." She nodded, her forehead resting against mine and her palms on my chest.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️🐲🐲👑 53 - do I keep it there, or do I go back to Eren and keep on trucking?

Waking up from his nap had left him in a worse state then when he'd gone to sleep. His body felt sluggish, like his mind connect to the rest of him. Not realising he was burning with an icy cold fever, or how glassy and empty his eyes looked, Eren bundled Luca into his arms before leaving Levi's room, staggering through the castle as if he'd drunk every barrel of wine in the castle cellars. He knew he'd bumped into people as he walked, he could dimly feel the impact of their bodies against his, but reality wasn't connecting with his mind. His lips silently moving as he chanted Levi's name on a loop. Levi wanted him to be happy, so he had to find Levi. Levi made him happy. Levi would know what to do to fix him. Having napped in the late afternoon, the sun was already low in the side given the shorter days of winter. His feet bare as he wandered out onto the training field with Luca trying to escape his hold. His son had trilled the whole walk, desperately trying to call for someone to help his mother. Eren heard none of this. His mind consumed with the simple and primal desire to be with his alpha. Having staggered as far as he body could handle, Eren fell to the ground in an ungainly heap. Throwing up beside himself, Eren stared at the mess in confusion. He couldn't remember throwing up... if Levi was here, he'd carry him back to his bathroom. He'd clean him up, then tuck him into their bed... Zeke did that now. The thought of the alpha caused him to wrinkle his face. Why did Zeke do that now? It was clear to the soldiers running drills on the training oval that something was very wrong with the omega. Both Zeke and Erwin were sent for, while they all tried to suppress their curiosity. No one stepped forward to help Eren, not sure how to treat their "prince" now that he was pregnant to the enemy. Also, no one wanted to go near the baby dragon that was growling and making weird noises. There was something wrong with it. They'd all seen it's demonic looking red eyes and withered wing. An uneasiness filled all of them, which intensified when suddenly a huge green dragon with black stripes formed where the prince had been. Taking the smaller dragon in its claws, there were shouts, but ultimately no attempt was made to stop the huge beast as it took to flight. More than a few in the crowd had been at the engagement party when Prince Erwin had gone mad, then had been taking by the same great green dragon. When the prince's consort had returned without the prince, they'd all realised it was really best they not get involved, and when said dragon married the enemy, there were those who quietly rejoiced over the beast being gone. Certainly none of them had expected the "prince" to return home. * Waking in Draecia, Eren was overwhelmed by the pain in his head. He couldn't remember leaving Paradis Island, nor could he remember landing on the Draecian side of the peninsula between the two countries. In the time he'd been unconscious, Luca had left him to explore the surrounding area, probably drawn to the dragons that called the area their home. Eren had no idea as he curled into himself. He just knew how much his head fucking hurt. When Luca had seen he was awake, his son had come bounding back to him, proudly trilling as he climbed right onto of him, and sat like a chicken might a hen. With no energy, Eren couldn't be bothered dealing with his son, leaving him there until Ymir lifted him off of him "Oi! What do you think you're doing?!" "Ymir! He's hurt. Eren, its Historia. I'm going to help you" Rolling him up to sit, Historia took his head into her hands. Her magic was every bit as soothing and soft as he remembered, easing the blinding pressure that had been building "Eren? Eren, can you hear me?" "Historia?" "That's right. Oh my goodness, what happened to you?" "I don't feel good" "No, I expect you don't. Is that your blood?" There was blood? Probably from Luca's claws "How did you end up like this...?" "He's pregnant" "Yes, Ymir. I can see that, can you smell him calling for Levi?" "Is that what that stink is?" Raising his head to look at Historia, Eren's bottom lip quivered "I think there's something wrong with my baby" "Alright. Shhh. I'll look at both of you, but let's get off the beach first? You're not well at all, and you're magic is all out of line" Ymir held Luca high, the baby dragon seemed completely at ease with Ymir "Does it have something to do with this dragon?" "Luca. Luca's mine... my adopted child" "I think you need to tell us everything" "Ymir, he won't be telling us much of anything if we don't help him" Moved off the beach and onto the grass, Eren laid with his stomach exposed. Night had fallen, so the space was lit with small hovering demon fires as Historia knelt beside his left side, while Ymir and Luca sat up closer to his head "I know Levi left, is that what triggered this?" Of course she knew. How much of the shit he'd been through had Erwin told her? "Do you know I'm also married to Prince Zeke of Marley?" "Word had reached us. I couldn't believe it. Did he hurt you?" "No... he told me to come here for the sake of the baby. The pregnancy isn't right. I should be bigger... there's something wrong with the baby..." Historia hushed him softly "I need to know about you. Your smell is all over the place" "I... I missed Levi so much... so I slept in his room. Historia, I blacked out... twice. I don't remember flying here... what's wrong with me?" "You idiot!" Eren flinched at Ymir's outburst, his hand going to his belly in an attempt to protect his child from the angry dragon "That's enough, Ymir" "He should know what's wrong with him..." "That's enough. It's ok Eren. I know you're not ok, but I'm going to help you and your baby" "And Luca... please, his magic is so weak..." "Ymir will watch Luca. I'm going to move your hands now, I need to feel your belly. Then we'll talk" Historia gently pulled his hands off his exposed belly "It's because I didn't want it, isn't it? It knows I'm a bad mum" "Shhhh. You're not a bad mum. I have a idea already what's happening, but I want to be sure. You know I'm not going to hurt you, don't you?" "Everyone hurts me... everyone leaves me... Levi left me behind..." "Ymir, why don't you hold his hand? I'm sure Luca isn't going anywhere without Eren" "Fine, but if his magic..." "Ymir, please" With gentle touches, Historia felt his swollen stomach. Her fingers making him whine once or twice, each time she apologised quickly. The exam only too a few moments, and was followed by a burst of her magic radiating out across his stomach "The baby?" "The baby is fine. They're just fine. One human child, and I detect no magic" "No magic?" "No, unless this one presents as an omega, I doubt very much they'll have your dragon powers" "But... I've been so flat. My stomach only grew this size last night" Taking his free hand, Historia pulled him up to sit. Not feeling dizzy was amazing "These black outs, how many have you had?" "Two. I can't remember last night, or leaving Levi's bedroom this afternoons" "And smells? How do alpha smells affect you?" "I don't like them... When Zeke tries I help, his scent makes me feel sick and his touch makes me want to vomit" "Ok. Ok. So you've had sex with Zeke?" It felt dirty to admit it "When we were married, the marriage had to be consummated in front of witnesses in Eldia and Marley" Ymir made a disgusted noise "So... nearly seven months ago?" "Something like that..." "Ok..." "Historia, what's happening to me? I feel like I'm going insane..." "It's because you're pregnant to your rider, and he's up and abandoned you. Surely you're not so stupid as to think you can just replace your rider with someone else" Eren looked from Ymir to Historia for a better explanation "What Ymir is trying to say is, your 8 months along Eren. I can feel Levi's life force in the child. Your married to Zeke, while carrying Levi's child" "Bullshit. That's impossible" "I agree. It was supposed to be, but by some miracle you are. I assume Zeke thinks it to be his" "It has to be his... I used my soul. You were there. You know what I did" "I do. I think we need to talk things through, and I think you should remain here for your pregnancy" "I can't stay here. I wasn't supposed to come here alone" "You're not alone, you brought this one with you" "His name is Luca. He's my son" Ymir rolled her eyes, Eren then releasing she was teasing him for the bite "Eren, Levi said you found an earth dragon?" Eren's heart leapt "You've spoken to him?" "Not lately, no" And there it went, his heart dropping because he was an idiot who couldn't control his emotions "Yeah. The dragon in my coma was real. His name was Hannes and he taught me how to use my dragon's breath while in human form. He said it might help burn the spell off, or at least singe the edges" Historia frowned "Dragon's don't use their breath in human form" "I can. Hannes mentioned it would be good for me to learn in case I was ever in danger. I've used it a couple of times" "You have?" "The first time was when people tried to kill Levi and I. I used life magic. Then someone tried to attack me in Marley and used fire magic..." "Did you use it against the sword?" Did he? "I don't know... maybe. I can't remember. First Hannes died..." "He died?" "He hung himself. Levi found him covered in vines" "Did you bury him?" "He was in his human form, so we buried him with the tears I cried and some of my scales. Luca was his egg. Or rather, Luca's mother was killed by a soldier for her clutch over 20 years ago. He never hatched for Hannes" Historia reached out to stroke Luca's head "I've never seen an albino dragon before" "I hadn't either. Levi said it was ok to adopt him... I know it was selfish. I went through a heat, and knowing I couldn't fall pregnant made it all worse. He showed me the egg to help me get through it. When Hannes died, I couldn't leave him behind" "He's very weak in terms of magic. But you've taken fantastic care of him" "He's what keeps me going now that Levi's gone. Historia, he's not coming back. Levi went insane from carrying Obsydin in his mind. Zeke is the only alpha I can be seen with, and if this baby isn't his..." Why wasn't he three times as large if he was 8 months, he didn't get it. The child was a normal human child... "I'm sorry Eren. Being a dragon, it's natural for your rider to be by your side through pregnancy. Normally the child of a dragon is magical given the magic both the dragon and the rider have. You're part human, and Levi is a full blooded human. I can only speculate over what that means, but I think you've been suppressing you're pregnancy because your rider isn't by your side. You don't feel safe do you? You're also out of control when it comes to your magic and emotions? And you've been very ill?" "Y-yeah... That's because Levi isn't there?" "Unfortunately. You're both an omega who's mate left and a dragon who lost his rider. If Levi was dead, you'd be able to feel it. The fact you're suffering means he's alive, and you're desperately trying to reach him. Sleeping in his room is only going to make you more mentally unstable. You're omega and dragon parts can't accept that you can smell him without him being there. They feel as if he'd abandoned you, so you grow weaker in an attempt to lure him back" Eren groaned miserably "That's fucked up" "Dragons and riders are bonded that deeply. You sleeping in his room allowed your baby to grow because while you slept, you didn't have to deal with the fact he really isn't there" "So I'm stuck being pregnant?" "No. Eventually your child will mature. Your body is keeping them safe for as long as possible. This is all a theory though..." "If I want to get better, I need to avoid Levi's scent?" "I know it's hard, and that's why I'd feel much better if you stayed with us. I know my father is... hard, but we can set you up with another pregnant dragon who can help you through your pregnancy. We all know Levi helps acts as regulator for your magic, without him, it's not flowing properly" "It was ok during that year" "You weren't pregnant then. You need the comforts of a rider..." "I'm not sleeping with someone else... I'm married" "Eren..." Historia didn't get it. She had Ymir. She had the small swell and the happy smile. She had her dragon and her lover by her side to support her "Historia I don't have a choice. You... Zeke's changed. He's trying so hard for this baby, if he was to find out it's not his, it'd break him. His mother would probably murder me on the spot and Eldia would dissolve into war" Historia sighed deeply "I don't know what you want me to say. If you want to be physically intimidate with Zeke, it might help relax you around him... and maybe that might help speed up your pregnancy, but he isn't your alpha or your rider and that's what all this comes down to. At this stage, all you can do is nest in a safe place for you to give birth. You're simply too scared without Levi" "I'm not scared without him! He left me! He abandoned me! He threw me away after he lied and said we'd go back to Draecia together. I woke up to find both him and the sword gone. Luca lost his father, again. I lost the one person I thought would never ever leave me... I have less than three years to birth this heir and have it pass as Zeke's child, or Eldia and Marley are going to go to war. God! I wish you hadn't said it was Levi's... I'd thought about abortion... I couldn't do it, then I felt them moving and... Levi wanted this so fucking badly... we wanted this..." Placing Luca on his lap, Ymir moved so Historia could wrap her arms around him "I'm so sorry that I can't do more. I've given you a bit of a magical boost, your body isn't taking the stress very well, so it should ease any symptoms related to issues with the pregnancy, sore throat from vomiting and such, and I'll do what I can to align your magic" Eren sniffled as he nodded "I'm sorry. I'm such a terrible friend, I didn't even ask how you're doing?" "Good. Really good. It's only going to be a very small clutch to begin with, but Ymir already wants more" "I'm happy for you" "I know you are. No one understands a dragon like another dragon" "Everything has gone to shit" "I know" "You don't know the half of it... you can read me if you want. I can't even explain half the stuff I've been through" "Do you want me to?" "I can't go home without knowing how I ended up pregnant... I need to know if I did something, or if it was Obsydin. He took the collar off my neck, and I have no idea why" "Ok. Just close your eyes. Let me guide you" "I trust you" "You don't trust anyone right now, your instincts tell you not to, and that's ok. You're trying to protect you unborn baby" Having Historia dig through his headspace didn't really hurt. She'd brought up memories he didn't know he had, such as he'd used his breath on the sword after Hannes's death. That was probably when he singed the spell on the sword, and claimed back some small fragment of his soul that had lead to this. It was probably also what accelerated Levi's condition towards the end. He'd come to Draecia hoping Historia had a magical cure for him, only to find it was Levi that he needed more than ever. But he already knew that. Maybe he'd known all along that the baby wasn't Zeke's because he just wasn't gravitating towards him like a pregnant omega should? He didn't know anymore. He felt so incredibly confused. He wanted and needed Levi scent, but it was bad for both him and the baby. He'd also known all along that he collar write to his alpha. A spell would make sure the letter found Levi. But what would he say? And what if he said something he could never take back? He'd tried to cut everything between them off, yet it would have been easier to cut down the tallest tree in existence with a salmon than to tear Levi from his life entirely and never think of him again. He was a a hopelessly romantic fool. This baby was sure to only bring him more trouble, especially when Zeke found out it wasn't his. He could lie... but if someone was to test for paternity, he'd fault miserably. Dozing in Historia's lap, he did feel better once she was done in his headspace, and aligning his magic again. His body didn't feel so foreign, yet that may have been because Levi's scent was fading from him body. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he sat up, not needing to voice anything else as Historia understood that not everything had been that great. Her wide eyes were filled with tears as he turned to look at her. Ymir punching him so hard in the arm for making her mate cry that he was sure she'd broken it. He couldn't blame her, nor could he help but be jealous. Living with Rod might be hell, but they had each other that was the important thing. With his "treatment" complete, Historia turned her attention to Luca, who lapped up all the attention he could, trilling and cooing as he flapped his small wings in an attempt to show off for the princess. It would be impossible for Luca to ever take a human form, like he'd said long ago. His body simply wouldn't be able to handle it, and like Eren, she'd never met a dragon with so little magic. Giving Luca a small magical boost, his son sat proudly as he stared up at Eren. Rubbing the bridge of Luca's nose, his son let out a happy chirp that had Historia cooing over the baby dragon to the point where Eren thought he might just have to fight her for his own son. Luckily Ymir was there to remind Historia that it was getting late and that sun would be rising soon. He hadn't intended to stay this long, and prayed he hadn't left the castle in uproar. Hopefully he'd just walked outside and flown off without being too strange. He wanted the people of the castle to trust him, not fear that he was going to freak out and level the castle with his dragon's breath. The flight back to Eldia was made as the sun was rising. Luca sat between his horns, his son gripping into his face with his claws as they soared over a world dyed in pinks, oranges, and greys. Weaving and diving with the wind currents, Luca chirped on like it was the best day of his life. It probably was. He'd met another dragon, as well as a princess. Plus whoever else he'd decided to introduce himself to while Eren had been unconscious. With wings as wide and powerful as his, they made it back to the castle with ease. The sky barely lit as they landed on the dewy grass and an alarm horn sounded from the castle. At least they knew he was back... He'd have to talk to Zeke... his husband wouldn't be happy, and he still didn't know what to tell him. If he wanted the pregnancy to continue smoothly, he needed to feel safe without the presence of Levi. Zeke was the only one he could seek "comfort" form without risking war. And if they came to war now, it really would be for nothing. Letting Luca jump down off his head, Eren waited for his head wounds to heal before shifting back. In the distance he could already see the forms of Pieck, Yelena and Porco jogging towards him. Here came the lecture. Leaving Luca to walk, Eren wrapped his arms around himself as he strode towards Zeke's three favourite goons. It was simpler to get this over with. Reaching Yelena first, the woman carried herself with her usual stance of not caring "Prince Eren. Prince Zeke has requested your presence immediately" "I figured he would" Luca had already run ahead, probably to find food. His son was too happy to be thinking about his own safety "How was Draecia?" "Most informative. The child I carry is in perfect health. I'm sure Zeke will be relieved to hear that the pregnancy is simply extended due to his dragon heritage rather than there being something wrong" Yelena smiled "I'm sure he shall too" As Pieck and Porco fell into step behind him, Eren had no reason to think they'd harm him. He missed the looks between them three of them because he was looking ahead for Luca. From behind him, something hard was rammed down against the back of his head, dropping him to his knees. A second blow quick to follow the first as Yelena whispered softly "Queen Dina sends her regards" Struggling his way up, the third blow to the back of his head finally rendered him unconscious. Trapped in the dungeons of his own castle, Eren had to give it to them. It was the ideal place to hide him. It would have been the first place checked given he'd been seen returning. A scrying spell would point to the castle. A letter sent to him to be tracked, would be delivered to the castle. If Luca was going crazy, they'd think his son was trying to look for him in his own way by following his scent around the castle. This had to be Yelena's plan, Pieck and Porco didn't strike him as smart enough. Preparations had been made ahead of him waking. Magic covered the walls of the small cell, and his wrists had been bound with the same kind of magical cuffs Rod had had him placed in, to prevent him shifting into his dragon form. He couldn't have anyway, the cell was barely wide enough for him to sit up with his legs straight out. A bucket for his bodily functions. It was cold and he was fucking miserable. He'd tried scratching and picking at the threads of magic, but without his own magic, nothing had happened. Eren had had no idea how long he'd been left there for, time blurred and warped, all he could was curl around his swollen stomach as his mind grew foggy. A random guard he didn't recognise would bring him food from time to time, the meal small and scarce. When the cold had gotten to his lungs, they'd brought him a blanket... which was nice, all things considered. He would have thanked them if he hadn't screamed his throat raw. They probably couldn't have him dying too soon. Queen Dina didn't know that the child wasn't Zeke's, and Zeke had definitely grown attached to the life inside of him... he was trapped again. Like a bird in cage who's wings had been clipped back to bloodied stumps. * With Eren missing, "Levi" and Zeke were quick to blame each other. Zeke already angered that Eren had left him behind to head to Draecia without him, after acting so strange beforehand. Erwin confused as to how Eren could go missing between the training grounds and the castle, without interference by Marley soldiers. Luca had been found in the castle kitchen's, where Nicollo and Armin were trying to prevent the baby dragon from eating everything in sight. Armin having heard that Eren had headed up to Draecia, had figured that Eren would appear shortly... Then, he didn't. The blond beta first to raise that alarm that something was wrong. With both sides blaming each other, and no signs of Eren having been found, Prince Zeke returned to Marley. Zeke had known he'd started to develop feelings for Eren, the omega had always been a beautiful creature in his mind. Yet, upon hearing the news that Eren had been missing for weeks now, his mother declared Eren had run away, voiding the terms of their marriage and declaring war upon Eldia. Zeke didn't believe it to be the case, yet, he could not go against his mother or Marley. The alpha left to take up his sword against Eldia, while now suspecting Eren's disappearance may indeed have been the work of Marley.

[isuckandotheressays]

PART 1 ; self-saboteur

How can you even start to talk about something like this without sounding so fucking cliché it makes your teeth hurt. Stuff is hard, like really hard, and it will be forever, and I know that. I am like, obscenely good at whining, I can whine about pretty much anything, the weather, the fact I have nothing to wear, the fact that I don’t get what I want. I'm internally spoiled, but I think everyone is really, any one that isn't is lying, what type of crazy person likes when they don’t get what they want? Unless you are ,like a masochist, which in some ways I probably am, or at least a self-saboteur.

Anyway, unimportant. More importantly, my life is currently in shambles. The love of my life won't talk to me because he's upset that I tried to kill myself. Now I'm sure from an outwards perspective that makes him sound unfeeling, a dick, but to be honest I'm the dick.  

Don’t get me wrong, I 100% wanted to die, I could not see my way out. I weighed out my options, I could hang myself from the loft bed he built for me, but I'm too tall and it wouldn’t have worked. I would slit my wrists, but then I would get heaps of blood on the 70's carpet and that would be just like, disrespectful to my housemates. So, my final thought was just to take as many of my sleeping meds as I could and just like, go to sleep. I wrote a note, in tears, obviously, I had fucking lost it.  

I individually popped out the pills and took them one by one, slowly getting more and more tired, getting less and less conscious. I kept thinking about random things, like how mad everyone is going to me if I survive this, how fucked it's going to be for Luke, how I've probably ruined his life. So I thought in my drug addled state, I should probably just like message saying I'm sorry to all my friends or whatever. Because I'm a dirt human.  

Suicide, is a really selfish thing, the most selfish thing you can do, but at that point in time, I couldn’t see my way out. I felt worthless, that the person I cared for the most in the world was never going to trust me again, that my best friends didn’t want to hang out with me because I'm so fun because I'm a useless sad lump that wines, can't even drink red wine because I become some heaps horrible bitchy cynical version of myself. That I would always disappoint my parents, because to this day, I don’t actually want to do what they want me to do and I really just want to be a starving artist and make art about how sad I am all the time.  

Anyway, I squeezed out some drama queen ass text to the people that meant the most to me, 'I'm sorry I love you' , which I meant but in hindsight as someone that wanted to die peacefully and alone in their house, is not a good move because people care about if you are dead or alive and well, got scared if they get that message out of the blue. So next minute, my dad, arrives in a cab, and I go to Emergency, and no one really takes what goes on particularly seriously and then in a bed and some doctor is making me drink some sludgy black coal shit to soak up all the medication in my stomach (side note it's been three days at this point and all that is coming out of me is like spirited away anime style sludge.  

So, I wake up and I'm going to the ward, this is like 8 at night, I did all this pill business at about Noon, and I'm sitting in the waiting room with my mum and dad who are literally at their whit's end with their nerves shot because their only child has an inability to cope with real life.

Side note, I am a productive member of society, I have job, that I mostly like and work hard at, I do a little bit of 'faffy' modeling for cash when I can, I get up I get coffee, I catch the train to school etc. Granted my mum pays my phone bill because I'm a 22 year old child that can't do real life human things. But yeah, back to the ward.

PART 2 ; repercussions

I'm sitting there waiting at the mental health ward and they literally come and give me some belongings I left there the time before. Like I'm some frequent flyer, I sort of laugh under my breath but try to stifle it because I love my parents  more than anything and I don't want to make this situation any more confusing and awful than what it is. I go to the tiny mini fridge and fish out a cheese sandwich because the stuff I took to OD makes you so fucking hungry.  

So I'm admitted, given the awkward PJ's, some hectic sedatives and put in the room with the vinyl mattress like the ones in jail I'm sure, except in the ward they give you milo and night and speak in hushed tones and take your blood pressure a lot and offer you adult colouring books.  

Then I'm in the room and I'm thinking things. The things I'm thinking are about the fact that I did not succeed in ending my life and now there are repercussions. I have to not only feel shit, I have to feel guilty because what I have done to the people who love me is so monumentally horrible and I'm a bad selfish person who is never going to be loved, etc. Then I think about if I had done it another way, if it had worked, then I fall asleep.

I'm woken up by a student nurse that looks about 15 rolling in a huge blood pressure machine. The soft voice ensues like fucking silk "so, uh, cay, do you feel safe? Do you feel like hurting yourself? Killing yourself? Feeling a bit better than yesterday?" And me, being a fucking idiot, says, "oh yeah I'm fine now, just tired you know". Because, from lots of practice, I'm a master at pretending I'm okay (I'm being sarcastic hopefully you get that and I don’t just sound like a prized IDIOT).  

Hours down the track in walk out in my gross green PJ's and look at who else in in the ward. Literally exactly what you would expect, some full grown woman with pink hair doing a puzzle of teddy bears, some 'methy' looking guy talking to himself in the room (until this point I thought this was a ward for woman only) that has a video of a waterfall on loop and an extremely greasy middle ages Asian woman being scolded for trying to sleep when she has to be awake because its day time. Nobody talks to each other, we are all sort of collectively embarrassed, no one really knows how to act, do we like smile at each other? Or do we have to prove our sadness to each other? I just keep my head down mainly until I get handed the sludgy meal that we have to eat with a spoon because u could mince yourself with a fork or knife. I recon if you really wanted you could use a spoon, I recon if you really wanted you could use anything like, it's pretty fucked up but I think about that all the time. I know pretty much all the things in a room that I could use to hurt myself.  

Like spoon? Easy, I would just either with all the force in my body, sorry for the gore, slam the not spoony part into my wrist and like , blood would Tarintino style go everywhere. I could also just like shove it down my throat and choke. I recon I could like, paper cut myself to death, that’s so morbid, oh my god, sorry.  

PART 3; insidious thing  

Fast track to now, I'm at my parent's house, with a shaved head, in the country, the love of my life won't talk to me. I'm almost certain that he's going to leave me, he's already moved out and he's basically sick of my shit. And to be honest, even though it fucking hurts, its fair enough.

Backtrack again, I worked at the pub, and everyone there just like, happened to do cocaine, so I tried cocaine, and of course, it was great but very expensive. If went from something fun to something I needed to get through a shift because I was so tired. Then I would spend all my money on it. Then the guy would show up at the bar and I would just swipe my card and take money out of the till. Like at the start it was spending my money, and then I started stealing the money.  

Now, I have a huge problem which honestly, I like being on drugs, plus being bipolar, oh yeah, but now that’s up for negotiation and could be a personality disorder or whatever. I didn’t tell anyone I was doing this, not even my partner or my friend who could have helped me. Especially, my partner. But again, dirt human remember.  

So, I was holding that secret in for ages, like was literally killing me. It was the most insidious thing ever. But I've always stuffed in and marred the truth to protect myself. When I was younger, like childhood till I was 16, I had a really hard time at making friends so I literally would just make shit up. But when I was first diagnosed and had my first break up, I worked out that, that probably wasn’t optimum to being like an alright human. So I stopped saying I was related to famous models and that I got kicked out of karate because I punched the teacher and started telling the  true story about the stress nose bleeds, of the white robes and I was related to a bunch of people that lived in Yass, as in many merinos (no offence to my family - you are all phenomenal).

PART 4; him

Forward, I hadn't told my parents this immense thing, and I was lying about what actually happened. So I told them. And, they really didn’t care. Not only what this an insane and complete surprise to me, it made me feel even worse that I have been an absolutely horrendous person to my partner.  

So now, I am petrified. I'm writing this with my newly shaved golf ball head, he's not talking to me and I'm this total wreck of self-hatred and total disarray. Because I want to be with him, I don’t want to hurt him. But I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know how to make someone trust you again, and I sure as hell don’t think I deserve to have such a fucking angel in my life.

Like you know those classically handsome boys from teen movies, yeah think about that, but like Bowie dreamy. Big ass blue eyes, freckles, tall, absolutely killer smile. He supports my art, he's good with kids and animals, he's stupid crazy intelligent, goofy and gets my humor, that I barely get sometimes. Like I have no idea how human trash like me could have made this person fall in love with me. One time, he fucking flew overseas to see me on our anniversary because he missed me. He has written obscure punk songs about me. He also supports me immensely, which I owe my life to, on many occasions.  

To be honest, I will understand if he's over it, he could do so much better, he could like, date a  girl who is not legally insane, that would not self-harm and lie and do batshit stuff like some crazy murderer. But, I do want to get better for him. And I am trying, I've enrolled in this crazy program that the psych lady said would improve my honesty as well as make me be able to deal with real life grown up situations like an adult and not some mentally inept baby thing. I am trying. Shaving my hair was a thing for me. I needed a physical change to put stuff in motion. I'm in motion now. And I hope that he sees that, but I understand, I truly I am the worst.

Skip forward to two weeks later, we ended it, I broke it I really did. But that okay, because you have to have a red hot go at being by yourself. I am weirdly happy, elated even, I feel like ive got myself back. Its crazy that you don’t even notice how much you have lost yourself until your alone, the cracks in what seemed like a perfect relationship start to show. Not to throw shade, but I think that I embarrassed him sometimes and tried to hard to act cool. And to be honest, I recon I am pretty fucking cool. I bent myself to fit around him, even my aspirations, even my work even my internet presence. He never let me 'vlog' he thought it was lame, seems like such a teeny thing but I full want to vlog. I want to talk into the abyss that in Instagram, hear an echo or not.  

I guess its all a learning curb really, you got to lose what you think you want to get what you need. I could 'smiths' along and ask to 'please please, please, let me let me let me, get what I want this time' but right now, I'm still working out what that is. It's pretty flippin' great.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - 24? Eren's date with court

Having Floch come to see them on the 5th, Eren was nervous about the 6th. He was supposed to take the stand again, and it seemed like the man was pinning all his hopes on him. The only problem was that being on bedrest with an adventurous toddler wasn't quite happening. Viren didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to jump on the bed or why Eren wasn't allowed to come and play with him and Anna. Anna didn't understand it either, but she was much more reasonable than Viren. Hanji had told her she had to be gentle with him, so he'd been stuck "gently" playing dolls with the girl, while Viren wasn't impressed. Everything Eren did, was closely monitored by Levi. Bathroom trips, sponge baths, changing clothes and even rolling over in bed, Levi was there. Taking the stand would be the first time that Eren would be allowed some space to breathe, and unlike before, Floch wanted him to give his statement in three parts, rather than a series of statements. Like it made any real difference, no matter how "nicely" Floch tried to word it. Nick's lawyers still weren't done with him, and had scheduled to call back to the stand towards the end of the month. It was naive, but he'd prayed the trial would all be over by now... yet, apparently they were still questioning witnesses... a majority, Floch had a feeling, had been paid off. * Unable to get comfortable or sleep, Eren had crept out of their bedroom while Levi was sleeping. He couldn't take the constant pressure on his hips and lower back... and he was sick of feeling useless. His stitches were mostly kind of healed, or enough that he felt like he could sneeze without risking everything busting out. Which surely had to mean the stitches inside of him were the same. He was only on rest really to prevent any amniotic fluid leaks given they'd had to go through the sack to reach the pup. Stealing a proper shower, unaided and alone, he felt more human coming out of it than he had since before the surgery. He hated the feel of dirt against his skin, or the feeling of his being thick and oily. Even after drying and blow drying his hair, he still had time to do his make up and make a start on breakfast with Viren, before Levi came rushing out "You're not supposed to be on your feet!" Marching into the kitchen, Levi took the fry pan off the stove top, scaring Viren as he slammed it down on the counter "Levi..." "You're supposed to be resting. Do you want to go into labour?!" "Levi..." "I can't have... not today..." Despite his heart racing from Levi being so angry, he knew his alpha was only angry because he was scared "Ok... ok, I'm sorry. I wasn't comfortable in bed, so I got up. I've been taking it easy. I know you're worried, but I feel alright" He still felt like shit over the pup, and it stung to know Levi thought he'd intentionally place their child in danger after all he went through to keep them alive. Biting his lip, he felt Viren taking his hand "Mummy?" "It's ok, baby. Daddy isn't really mad. Let's go sit on the sofa and watch 'toons" Rubbing his face, Levi sighed. Reaching out, Eren flinched away. Levi's scent was still too angry for him to handle. Without being able to distract himself from the trial with trivial things, it was flooding back into his mind "I'm sorry. It's just... everything is place to keep you safe. The last thing we need is the pup making an early appearance" "Don't you think I know that? My stitches are mostly healed and you're going to stick me in that stupid wheelchair today. I hurt from sitting all the time. I want to be on my feet, even if it's to just walk a little... making breakfast isn't going to send me into labour, but fighting with you over everything just might" Leading Viren out the kitchen, and to the sofa, Titan rose long enough for them to settle, before climbing into Viren's lap so he could place his paws on Eren's stomach. Titan had been super affectionate with all of them since their return. Patting Titan, Viren looked up to him "That's right, be careful with Titan" "He's heavy and furry!" "He is. He's also mummy's best friend" "You can have a cat for a friend?" "Yep. He's very special to me, just like you're very special to me" "Eren, he better not be on your stomach!" Stupid Levi... "He's not. He's in Viren's lap. If you're going to make breakfast, hurry up and make it!" "Mum, did dad do something wrong?" "No, baby. Mummy and daddy aren't fighting. Daddy is just super worried about mummy's tummy" "Mummy's tummy is big!" Wasn't that the truth. 30 weeks and he looked every single bit of it. Nothing fitted anymore, even the shirt of Mike's he was wearing was stretched to breaking point. He really needed new clothes, but the trial came first... or maybe he could just get his own back at Levi and stop wearing shirts at home. From the way he'd wake with Levi poking him in the arse, his alpha was struggling like hell with his desires. Sucked to be him... Eren was struggling with his own horniness, but he could "enjoy" his body, while Levi had to watch and wait. After all, they didn't tell him he couldn't jerk off, and with all that pressure on his arse, these things were bound to happen "Mummy, will my tummy get all big like that?" "No baby. You're so much like your father, I'm expecting you to be a little alpha like him" "I'm not little!" Eren sighed. Levi's input wasn't helping "Not everyone can get pregnant baby... some guys can and some girls can. But your tummy isn't going to get all big like this" "It looks funny" "It does, doesn't it. Here, give me your hand" Moving Titan's paws out the way, Eren placed Viren hand on his swell, where one of the pups were kicking. Letting out a shrieking laugh, Viren jerked his hand back "That feels funny!" "That's your little brother, or sister... in a couple of months, you're going to be a big brother" "What if I don't want to be a brother?" "It doesn't quite work like that. But I promise, mummy and daddy are going to love you just as much. No matter what baby" "It's not a girl is it? I don't want a girl" "Mummy and daddy don't know yet..." "But it's in you" "Really? I hadn't noticed. Why don't you keep patting Titan? He really likes being patted softly" "Do you like being patted softly?" Eren snorted "Yeah, baby. Daddy gives the best belly rubs" "He likes your tummy!" "He does. And when you're an adult, you'll understand all about it... but not before you're 30" "That's soooooo old" "How old do you think mummy is?" Viren hummed "12!" "And daddy?" "15!" Oh god... his son was way too fucking cute, though a little alarming over how young he was making them "And how old are you?" "Ummmm... this many" Holding up four fingers, his son gave him a toothy grin "Not quite. You're this many, baby" Pushing down Viren's little finger, Eren nodded "Yep. My little big man is 3" "Three!" "And how old is kitty?!" "I don't know, you'll have to ask daddy!" Viren climbed off the sofa, to run into the kitchen to ask Levi all about how old Titan in. In his haste, Titan was dislodged from his lap, the tom jumping onto Eren's belly in annoyance. Scratching his chin lovingly, he whispered to Titan "If you don't tell, I won't. I love you, handsome man" * Forced into the loathsome wheelchair, Eren hated it. Arriving after the start of the trial was organised by Floch, with two of his team members acting as Eren's guards. With the piece of shit known as Nick, already inside the courtroom, he wasn't in danger of being pushing down again, though he was in danger of yelling if people didn't stop fussing. Mike was there to monitor him, with the medic, before taking the stand, while Hanji had taken Viren to the natural history museum with Anna. He hated disrupting everyone's life over his past. He'd tried so hard to keep them all out of it, yet there they all were, dragged into another one of his messes. Allowed some decency, he was permitted to walk into the courtroom. Mike would be waiting behind the scene on the off-chance something went wrong while he gave evidence. The man a little concerned at about his high blood pressure, but as there hadn't been any fluid loss, Eren wasn't as concerned. Stepping into the room, everything was too quiet for his liking. Nick looked disgustingly pleased to see him... a sentiment Eren couldn't echo. Taking his oath, he could tell more than a few people were surprised to hear him speak, though the translator was on hand incase his voice decided to desert him again. Sitting in the hard wooden chair, his back complained at the lack of comfort. Whatever Floch had planned, it better be worth all of this. Smiling at him, Floch's lawyer tried to be friendly... tried being the key word. The man talking to him softly as if he was going to break if he raised his voice too loud "Hello Eren, it's nice to see you've recovered. I want to ask you some simple questions today, is that alright?" "Y-yes" "Excellent. Now Eren, Nick's team hasn't really explored your life, so today, I want you to tell us a little more" Nick's lawyers automatically objected, because "it has nothing to do with the current case". Arguing that it spoke to Eren's state of mind and relationship to his father, it was surprisingly allowed "So Eren, let's start with the basics shall we? How old were you, when you presented as an omega?" "I was 8" Floch hadn't told him much about what to expect from his legal team, only to go with it "You were 8 years old when you presented. That's awfully young... and just for the sake of memory, how old are you now?" "I'm 24. 25 at the end of the month" "So you've been an omega for 16 years. How long did it take for you to become accustomed to your secondary dynamic?" "I... don't think I ever really have..." "So you've never felt comfortable in your own skin?" "No... it was worse before I met my alpha. But society isn't that great with its treatment of omegas" "Like with your foster home placements. Eren, could you tell us how you ended up on foster care?" Ooooh... so... nope. He still wasn't sure where this was going "After my mum died, my father changed..." "Sorry to interrupt, but your mother dying, can you tell us a little more about that?" "My dad shot my mum in front of me when I was 10... in the kitchen of our old house. I was knocked unconscious by him. After that night, he became abusive. He's regularly beat me and abuse me for being an omega. He broke my arm and abandoned me... after that, he disappeared and I was placed into foster care" He hadn't even been on the stand for 10 minutes and he was tearing up... "And you had no idea he was alive?" "No... they said they'd tried to find him, but instead they found Zeke" "For clarification, Zeke was?" "My older half brother. He took me in when I was 17" "And we'll get to that. Eren, can you tell me what happened in foster care? In particular what happened in that last house?" "I couldn't forget, even if I tried... I was passed from family to family as... as I'd presented so young and no one wanted the hassle of a young omega in heat, near their children. The last house I was in... was the worst. At first I thought it was something I'd done. Something I deserved... I did everything for them. Because I'd been moved around so much, no one came to check on me. I'd already stopped going to school after my mother died, and I was, am, an omega. They'd found a home that hadn't sent me back, and that was that" Shit... he was starting to panic. Scratching at his leg through his jeans, he wanted to tear into his own skin "Eren, it's alright. You're doing great. You said you did everything. Can you elaborate on that for me?" "I cooked and cleaned... and was... was the entertainment. They kept me gagged and bounded so I could do things, but couldn't complain. As I got older... they um... started using me for more than just entertainment. They wouldn't knot me, but everything else was ok to them... sometimes they got carried away, but they directed most of it at my stomach, so even if they did get carried away... nothing could have survived" "So they raped you?" Rape was such a harsh word... a word he really hadn't understood until Levi explained everything to him and helped him understand that things done to him hadn't been his fault "Y-yes... I thought it was all my fault. That I deserved it for being an omega... but one night they were talking. They knew... they knew who my father was... they were doing everything to me, because of who he was and what he'd done" "They knew who you were?" "Yes... they... they kept me in the basement... that's where they found me. They... they made me eat and drink from bowls like a dog. I slept on thin blankets that were always wet and cold... when it'd rain, the basement would flood... and there were rats" Nick's lawyers objected again, and this time Floch's lawyer was told to make his point already. Shaking like a leaf, Eren really wanted things to come to an end soon. Levi had healed so many wounds, but now those wounds were being picked open again. It didn't matter if he objected anyway... Eren was getting it now. Floch was making him more human for the jury, by exposing how bad omegas were treated by society "I'm sorry Eren. You're doing so well, but we don't want to put any pressure on you or your pregnancy. I understand you had a slight fall and complications?" "I was pushed down the steps of the courthouse" "Ah. I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're anxious to get off the stand, so can I ask that you tell us what came next? What happened once you were taken from that house? Then you can take a break" "After... after I was found, I was in hospital. My skin had grown over the plastic restraints around my ankles. My body hadn't grown right from being constantly restrained. I was underweight, covered in sores and bites that were infected... my teeth grew funny because of the gag and I nearly died... I had to have surgery, but I couldn't speak. Someone had reported the family to social services and the police... about two months after I was brought in, I met my older brother"

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW 24 - full

Having Floch come to see them on the 5th, Eren was nervous about the 6th. He was supposed to take the stand again, and it seemed like the man was pinning all his hopes on him. The only problem was that being on bedrest with an adventurous toddler wasn't quite happening. Viren didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to jump on the bed or why Eren wasn't allowed to come and play with him and Anna. Anna didn't understand it either, but she was much more reasonable than Viren. Hanji had told her she had to be gentle with him, so he'd been stuck "gently" playing dolls with the girl, while Viren wasn't impressed. Everything Eren did, was closely monitored by Levi. Bathroom trips, sponge baths, changing clothes and even rolling over in bed, Levi was there. Taking the stand would be the first time that Eren would be allowed some space to breathe, and unlike before, Floch wanted him to give his statement in three parts, rather than a series of statements. Like it made any real difference, no matter how "nicely" Floch tried to word it. Nick's lawyers still weren't done with him, and had scheduled to call back to the stand towards the end of the month. It was naive, but he'd prayed the trial would all be over by now... yet, apparently they were still questioning witnesses... a majority, Floch had a feeling, had been paid off. * Unable to get comfortable or sleep, Eren had crept out of their bedroom while Levi was sleeping. He couldn't take the constant pressure on his hips and lower back... and he was sick of feeling useless. His stitches were mostly kind of healed, or enough that he felt like he could sneeze without risking everything busting out. Which surely had to mean the stitches inside of him were the same. He was only on rest really to prevent any amniotic fluid leaks given they'd had to go through the sack to reach the pup. Stealing a proper shower, unaided and alone, he felt more human coming out of it than he had since before the surgery. He hated the feel of dirt against his skin, or the feeling of his being thick and oily. Even after drying and blow drying his hair, he still had time to do his make up and make a start on breakfast with Viren, before Levi came rushing out "You're not supposed to be on your feet!" Marching into the kitchen, Levi took the fry pan off the stove top, scaring Viren as he slammed it down on the counter "Levi..." "You're supposed to be resting. Do you want to go into labour?!" "Levi..." "I can't have... not today..." Despite his heart racing from Levi being so angry, he knew his alpha was only angry because he was scared "Ok... ok, I'm sorry. I wasn't comfortable in bed, so I got up. I've been taking it easy. I know you're worried, but I feel alright" He still felt like shit over the pup, and it stung to know Levi thought he'd intentionally place their child in danger after all he went through to keep them alive. Biting his lip, he felt Viren taking his hand "Mummy?" "It's ok, baby. Daddy isn't really mad. Let's go sit on the sofa and watch 'toons" Rubbing his face, Levi sighed. Reaching out, Eren flinched away. Levi's scent was still too angry for him to handle. Without being able to distract himself from the trial with trivial things, it was flooding back into his mind "I'm sorry. It's just... everything is place to keep you safe. The last thing we need is the pup making an early appearance" "Don't you think I know that? My stitches are mostly healed and you're going to stick me in that stupid wheelchair today. I hurt from sitting all the time. I want to be on my feet, even if it's to just walk a little... making breakfast isn't going to send me into labour, but fighting with you over everything just might" Leading Viren out the kitchen, and to the sofa, Titan rose long enough for them to settle, before climbing into Viren's lap so he could place his paws on Eren's stomach. Titan had been super affectionate with all of them since their return. Patting Titan, Viren looked up to him "That's right, be careful with Titan" "He's heavy and furry!" "He is. He's also mummy's best friend" "You can have a cat for a friend?" "Yep. He's very special to me, just like you're very special to me" "Eren, he better not be on your stomach!" Stupid Levi... "He's not. He's in Viren's lap. If you're going to make breakfast, hurry up and make it!" "Mum, did dad do something wrong?" "No, baby. Mummy and daddy aren't fighting. Daddy is just super worried about mummy's tummy" "Mummy's tummy is big!" Wasn't that the truth. 30 weeks and he looked every single bit of it. Nothing fitted anymore, even the shirt of Mike's he was wearing was stretched to breaking point. He really needed new clothes, but the trial came first... or maybe he could just get his own back at Levi and stop wearing shirts at home. From the way he'd wake with Levi poking him in the arse, his alpha was struggling like hell with his desires. Sucked to be him... Eren was struggling with his own horniness, but he could "enjoy" his body, while Levi had to watch and wait. After all, they didn't tell him he couldn't jerk off, and with all that pressure on his arse, these things were bound to happen "Mummy, will my tummy get all big like that?" "No baby. You're so much like your father, I'm expecting you to be a little alpha like him" "I'm not little!" Eren sighed. Levi's input wasn't helping "Not everyone can get pregnant baby... some guys can and some girls can. But your tummy isn't going to get all big like this" "It looks funny" "It does, doesn't it. Here, give me your hand" Moving Titan's paws out the way, Eren placed Viren hand on his swell, where one of the pups were kicking. Letting out a shrieking laugh, Viren jerked his hand back "That feels funny!" "That's your little brother, or sister... in a couple of months, you're going to be a big brother" "What if I don't want to be a brother?" "It doesn't quite work like that. But I promise, mummy and daddy are going to love you just as much. No matter what baby" "It's not a girl is it? I don't want a girl" "Mummy and daddy don't know yet..." "But it's in you" "Really? I hadn't noticed. Why don't you keep patting Titan? He really likes being patted softly" "Do you like being patted softly?" Eren snorted "Yeah, baby. Daddy gives the best belly rubs" "He likes your tummy!" "He does. And when you're an adult, you'll understand all about it... but not before you're 30" "That's soooooo old" "How old do you think mummy is?" Viren hummed "12!" "And daddy?" "15!" Oh god... his son was way too fucking cute, though a little alarming over how young he was making them "And how old are you?" "Ummmm... this many" Holding up four fingers, his son gave him a toothy grin "Not quite. You're this many, baby" Pushing down Viren's little finger, Eren nodded "Yep. My little big man is 3" "Three!" "And how old is kitty?!" "I don't know, you'll have to ask daddy!" Viren climbed off the sofa, to run into the kitchen to ask Levi all about how old Titan in. In his haste, Titan was dislodged from his lap, the tom jumping onto Eren's belly in annoyance. Scratching his chin lovingly, he whispered to Titan "If you don't tell, I won't. I love you, handsome man" * Forced into the loathsome wheelchair, Eren hated it. Arriving after the start of the trial was organised by Floch, with two of his team members acting as Eren's guards. With the piece of shit known as Nick, already inside the courtroom, he wasn't in danger of being pushing down again, though he was in danger of yelling if people didn't stop fussing. Mike was there to monitor him, with the medic, before taking the stand, while Hanji had taken Viren to the natural history museum with Anna. He hated disrupting everyone's life over his past. He'd tried so hard to keep them all out of it, yet there they all were, dragged into another one of his messes. Allowed some decency, he was permitted to walk into the courtroom. Mike would be waiting behind the scene on the off-chance something went wrong while he gave evidence. The man a little concerned at about his high blood pressure, but as there hadn't been any fluid loss, Eren wasn't as concerned. Stepping into the room, everything was too quiet for his liking. Nick looked disgustingly pleased to see him... a sentiment Eren couldn't echo. Taking his oath, he could tell more than a few people were surprised to hear him speak, though the translator was on hand incase his voice decided to desert him again. Sitting in the hard wooden chair, his back complained at the lack of comfort. Whatever Floch had planned, it better be worth all of this. Smiling at him, Floch's lawyer tried to be friendly... tried being the key word. The man talking to him softly as if he was going to break if he raised his voice too loud "Hello Eren, it's nice to see you've recovered. I want to ask you some simple questions today, is that alright?" "Y-yes" "Excellent. Now Eren, Nick's team hasn't really explored your life, so today, I want you to tell us a little more" Nick's lawyers automatically objected, because "it has nothing to do with the current case". Arguing that it spoke to Eren's state of mind and relationship to his father, it was surprisingly allowed. Maybe it was just surprising to him "So Eren, let's start with the basics shall we? How old were you, when you presented as an omega?" "I was 8" Floch hadn't told him much about what to expect from his legal team, only to go with it "You were 8 years old when you presented. That's awfully young... and just for the sake of memory, how old are you now?" "I'm 24. 25 at the end of the month" "So you've been an omega for 16 years. How long did it take for you to become accustomed to your secondary dynamic?" "I... don't think I ever really have..." "So you've never felt comfortable in your own skin?" "No... it was worse before I met my alpha. But society isn't that great with its treatment of omegas. But Levi's always seen me as more than omega... not like everyone else" "You mean, like with your foster home placements? Eren, could you tell us how you ended up on foster care?" Ooooh... so... nope. He still wasn't sure where this was going "After my mum died, my father changed..." "Sorry to interrupt, but your mother dying, can you elaborate on that for us?" "My dad shot my mum in front of me when I was 10... in the kitchen of our old house. I was knocked unconscious by him. After that night, he became abusive. He's regularly beat me and abuse me for being an omega. He broke my arm and abandoned me... after that, he disappeared and I was placed into foster care" He hadn't even been on the stand for 10 minutes and he was tearing up... "And you had no idea he was alive?" "No... they said they'd tried to find him, but instead they found Zeke" "For clarification, Zeke was?" "My older half brother. He took me in when I was 17" "And we'll get to that. Eren, can you tell me what happened in foster care? In particular what happened in that last house?" "I couldn't forget, even if I tried... I was passed from family to family as... as I'd presented so young and no one wanted the hassle of a young omega in heat, near their children. The last house I was in... was the worst. At first I thought it was something I'd done. Something I deserved... I did everything for them. Because I'd been moved around so much, no one came to check on me. I'd already stopped going to school after my mother died, and I was, am, an omega. They'd found a home that hadn't sent me back, and that was that" Shit... he was starting to panic. Scratching at his leg through his jeans, he wanted to tear into his own skin... he knew what Floch's lawyer wanted... and now he'd have to spill his shameful secrets to the whole courtroom... they were all going to find him dirty and wrong... he was... "Eren, it's alright. You're doing great. You said you did everything. Can you elaborate on that for me?" "I cooked and cleaned... and was... was the entertainment. They kept me gagged and bounded so I could do things, but couldn't complain. As I got older... they um... started using me for more than just entertainment. They wouldn't knot me, but everything else was ok to them... sometimes they got carried away, but they directed most of it at my stomach, so even if they did get carried away... nothing could have survived" "So they raped you?" Rape was such a harsh word... a word he really hadn't understood until Levi explained everything to him and helped him understand that things done to him hadn't been his fault, and that his body belonged to him. It was his right to decide who touched him and how "Y-yes... I thought it was all my fault. That I deserved it for being an omega... but one night they were talking. They knew... they knew who my father was... they were doing everything to me, because of who he was and what he'd done" "They knew who you were?" "Yes... they... they kept me in the basement... that's where they found me. They... they made me eat and drink from bowls like a dog. I slept on thin blankets that were always wet and cold... when it'd rain, the basement would flood... and there were rats" Nick's lawyers objected again, and this time Floch's lawyer was told to make his point already. Shaking like a leaf, Eren really wanted things to come to an end soon. Levi had healed so many wounds, but now those wounds were being picked open again. It didn't matter if he objected anyway... Eren was getting it now. Floch was making him more human for the jury, by exposing how bad omegas were treated by society "I'm sorry Eren. You're doing so well, but we don't want to put any pressure on you or your pregnancy. I understand you had a slight fall and complications?" "I was pushed down the steps of the courthouse" "Ah. I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're anxious to get off the stand, so can I ask that you tell us what came next? What happened once you were taken from that house? Then you can take a break" "After... after I was found, I was in hospital. My skin had grown over the plastic restraints around my ankles. My body hadn't grown right from being constantly restrained. I was underweight, covered in sores and bites that were infected... my teeth grew funny because of the gag and I nearly died... I had to have surgery, but I couldn't speak... I'd been gagged for so long that when they took it out, I felt like I didn't deserve to have a voice. Someone had reported the family to social services and the police... about two months after I was brought in, I met my older half brother Zeke Yeager, who became my legal guardian. The police also weren't aware that my father was alive and working just outside of Karanes in an omega breeding farm known as "The Church"" Nick looked ready to have a stroke, Floch's lawyer looked happy as fuck, and Eren... was crying silently. He was done. It was all too much. Pulling power, the judge released him from the stand. Probably because his scent was oozing out and making more than a couple of the courtroom staff uncomfortable. Collapsing into Mike's arms, Mike stroked his hair like Levi would. He'd opened his mouth and the truth had come out... as proud of himself as he was, he wanted Levi even more "I need Levi" "Let me take care of you first..." Deposited into the wheelchair, Mike returned him to the room they'd been waiting in. A few minutes later, Levi was there. Despite knowing he was supposed to remain sitting, he needed his mate. Levi catching him as he threw himself at his alpha "Bright Eyes, you're ok..." "I want to go home... take me home..." "I will. I will, I've got you. You did so good" "Nick was mad... so mad..." "I know. And that's because he knows he's screwed. You did so good" "I wasn't up there long..." "It doesn't matter how long you were up there for, you told them in your own words what happened because of your father. Don't you see. Nick employed Grisha... but he also had to have had someone in the foster system. They knew about your father. This has opened up a whole other line of investigation now. All those kids being mistreated, people are going to be demanding someone checks on them. You did so good" "Can we go home... I... need you to do something for me...?" "Anything for you. Anything at all. I couldn't be prouder of you. I'm serious" "I feel dirty" "You're not dirty... not at all. You did so good" Stroking his face, Eren nuzzled into Levi's palm. He could almost believe it when it came from Levi "Eren, I want to give you quick look over and make sure you're ok, then Levi can take you home" Eren shook his head, he wanted to get out of the courthouse before he ran the risk of running into Nick or one of his paid friends "Eren, its ok. Mike won't hurt you" God. Levi could be clueless sometimes "It's not about that... I don't like risking seeing Nick" "Nick's being dragged off again. It's probably safer to stay in here" "Ok..." "Hey, he's not going to lay a finger on you" "I don't want to talk about it here" * Viren was still with Hanji while Eren led Levi into the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Levi moved to take his face into his hands "Do you want to talk about it now?" "I... this morning you upset me... I know I'm supposed to be resting, but it just brings nightmares and makes my arse hurt" "You knew this was going to be hard, and you agreed" "I know. It's just harder than I thought it'd be... and today really... really brought back things you'd made go away" "Is that why we're in the bathroom?" Eren nodded "What is it? What do you need?" "I feel dirty... you know what they did to me and I said that in front of everyone... I didn't want people to know" "I know you didn't" "I don't want to go back there... I don't want to feel like that" "What do you need?" "I... want you to touch me..." "Eren" "Not like that... I want you to make me dirty... so when they make me remember, I think of you" "Eren, it doesn't work like that" "Levi, you've done so much. You tried so hard to fix me. And now I'm like this again. The whole drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about it. They beat me. They jacked off on me and they pissed on me... I know it's kind of a thing you like... and I want to... not think of it as a bad thing because of you" Levi groaned, his alpha shaking his head "You're killing me here. I never meant to..." "No! No... I... it's different when it's you... it's always been different with you. You give me the choice, and the control of my own body. You taught me that it was my body... so... I want to do this with you" "You're supposed to be resting" "I'm literally sitting at the moment" "Eren..." "Please, Levi. I don't mean having sex or doing anything to extreme... I want to watch you jerk off and come on my stomach" Levi let out a laugh "That's all?" "What else..." Eren blushed as he realised where Levi's mind had gone "That's not what I... I mean... maybe? Is this stupid?" "No. I get it now... and I don't need to be asked twice, but I think our bed's more comfortable" "I want to take a shower after... with you" "Then let me take good care of you" Stripped of his bra and Mike's shirt, Eren watched as Levi touched himself. It was fucking hot. Here was a prime alpha, doing as he'd asked. Giving him the power to say no. Stripped naked, Levi had one foot up on the edge of the bathtub, and he jerked himself off. His mate smelt amazing, Eren already soaking wet with slick, despite knowing Levi couldn't mount him. Licking his lips, one hand shifted to work his left breast, as the other rubbed at his trapped dick, Levi growling as Eren mewed "You're so fucking beautiful with that big stomach of yours... you look ready to burst, Bright Eyes" "Mmm... feel ready to burst too..." Tweaking his nipple, milk started to spill, his breasts had leaked all morning, feeling puffy and swollen in his bra "Shit... Eren. I'm going to..." Nodding quickly, he watched Levi come, semen splattering across the top of his gravid belly as Levi milked every drop. Panting from his orgasm, his husband nodded to him "Do you want me to?" "Yes..." Taking half a step closer Levi kissed him deeply. Eren whimpering as his husband wet himself across his stomach. It was such a dirty thing to do, but they'd done it to him... and now his husband had asked his permission. He'd given him the power to decide and choose this for himself. Breaking the kiss, Eren choked on his emotions "Thank you... thank you... I'm sorry... I'm sorry to ask you too... I don't want to remember them... I'm not there's. I'm yours" "You're mine. All mine. Let's clean you up? Then cuddles on the sofa?" "I'm sorry... when they did it... I always felt so small... but you make me... feel good" "You're allowed to feel good. You're allowed to be happy. You're more than an omega. You're more than you think you are" "Thinking about it makes me feel so dirty" "You're not. Here, come here. Let me" Suckling from his breasts, Levi made him come in his pants, then encourage him to wet himself against his leg. It was weird. He didn't know if Levi understood his need to chose this for himself, but he did like the idea of taking it as Levi dominating him and him dominating him back, like they were claiming each other. Stripped down, Levi took pity on him. His alpha massaged him as they showered, working out the knots in his lower back until he could stand without the same amount of pain and stiffness. After their shower, Levi swept him off to the sofa. Laying in Levi's arms felt nice, his husband giving him belly rubs while Titan sat on the top of the sofa, watching over them. Each time his anxieties spiked, Levi was there, catching his hands and stopping him from scratching "Are you ok?" "Yeah... maybe... just thinking" "About what? What's up?" "Are you mad?" "Mad about what?" "What I asked you to do" "No. No, I'm not mad. I was worried it'd upset you" "It's weird isn't it? That it comes back so easily" "It's not weird at all. I could have killed Floch when his lawyer started" "I didn't get it at first" "I didn't either, but I'm proud of you and we know what's coming now" "Yeah... more shit" "If you don't want to testify, I'll steal you away" "Today was hard, but I got to choose my words" "And you did so well. Tomorrow's going to be hard too" "Mmm..." "And I'll be there. Erwin's given his testimony, so he's going to be there. You're not going through this alone" "It feels lonely up there" "I know. But you're doing so well, just a little longer and it'll be done" "God, I really hope so" "So do I" * Levi kept him up most of the night again, though this time it was his husband having nightmares. Nuzzling and kissing Levi's neck, his alpha would wake for him, stay awake for a few moments, then fall back to sleep. His sleep cycle was more of a doze anyway, having to get up and pee every 5 minutes made sure of that. Come morning, Eren was ready to go back to bed, so Levi left him "sleeping". It lasted all of half an hour before he dragged himself out of bed and made himself look presentable. Hanji was busy, so Eld was taking Viren and Anna for the day. His son had thrown himself onto he and Levi when Hanji had dropped him back the previous day. Everyone had gone into panic mode over Viren's innocent act. It'd hurt, but it'd been more shock than actually pain. Levi had growled at Viren, Viren and Anna had both started crying and Hanji was fussing so much that even he started panicking. When things had calmed back down, there was no bleeding or fluid loss, and it'd been a giant stress over something minor. Checking himself out in the mirror, Eren sighed as he smothered his stomach with Vitamin E cream. It'd helped with his stretch marks, but he knew his stomach would never be the same. He was huge... ridiculously so. And itchy as hell as long his underwear line. Watching his stomach move as the pups did, the taunt skin seemed all too thin as a small foot pushed up against it. The things mothers went through for their pups... Dressed in a tight white top with a nice open jacket over it, and a pair of dark blue jeans, he definitely looked overly feminine. Levi's words about not caring how he dressed coming to mind, and his desire for something that didn't have buttons resulted in him shimmying into a top that barely covered his bump. Mike's shirt would have been fine, had they remembered to move it from the washing machine and into the dryer. Eren finding their washing still in the machine when he'd gone looking for said shirt. Walking out to the kitchen, both pups were still kicking up a storm as he came up to Levi's side "Need any help?" Turning to him, Levi kissed him on the nose by accident. Both of them snorting at the action "I've got it under control. What do you want for breakfast?" "Plain toast and a glass of milk. Indigestion is a bitch" "I'm sorry you're going through this. I'll get your pills too" "Thanks..." Tugging on the cuffs of his jacket, Eren lingered. He didn't know if he looked alright for court, and Levi hadn't told him he looked nice "Something wrong?" "No... no... I'll go sit" "I'm missing something, aren't I?" "You're fine... I... do I look ok?" "You always look good to me" "Lee" "Sorry. Yes, you're ok for court. Though I don't know if I like how tight your shirt is..." "I... don't have anything that fits. I'm bigger now than I was with Viren" "It's that all? We can pick you up some new clothes. I don't mind at all... and don't give me that look. You're beautiful" "I'm sorry... I asked for attention, didn't I?" "No. Maybe a little, but I should have given it to you the moment I noticed. Your stomach is so fucking hot" "I feel fat" "No. You're not fat. You're beautiful and pregnant, and sexy as fuck. It makes me want to be a bad daddy" "Ok. That's enough attention" "Did Viren bruise you yesterday?" "A little... it doesn't hurt too much" "Let Mike know if it does. I know there was no blood, but it was still a hard blow" "He's solid for a toddler" "That he is. Now, go sit down and I'll get everything ready" Breakfast then court... same as the day before. Eld was baby sitting, so like the day before, Viren gave him a kiss and then was off for some adventure while Levi argued with him over the wheelchair. He hated the stupid thing more than he'd ever hated the boot he had to wear for his stupid ankle. Once again, he was in Mike's care, because apparently people didn't have jobs to at, or husbands to be babysitting. It was all much the same as the previous day, yet felt so very different since he'd taken the stand to be harassed... and it was nice to have someone there while he waited. Sworn in again, and sitting in same seat, he stared out across the court. Finding Erwin's hulking form next to his smaller husband, the man gave him the thumbs up, while Levi elbowed Erwin in the ribs. He wished he could be carefree like that. Instead he took his oath and sighed to himself. Dressed in another over priced suit, Floch's lawyer was once again all smiles "Hello Eren. Are you ready to get started?" "Yes" "Excellent. Now. Yesterday we talked about your brother Zeke, today I was hoping you could tell us all about your life with him" And like yesterday, Nick's lawyers objected. The judge gave a weary sigh, leaving Eren feeling sorry for them "How does this pertain to the trial?" "Establishing if Zeke knew of Grisha being alive" "Very well then, you made proceed" For a case about Nick, there was a hell of lot happening in relation to Eren and his family "Eren, if you please" Nodding, he really didn't please "Zeke was my older brother. Until the hospital introduced us, I didn't know he'd existed. He, however, did know about me. I was terrified when he first came. I didn't know him, and I've always had messed up heats and a weaker than normal scent... and then there was this stranger I was supposed to rely on" "So you didn't get along with Zeke to being with?" "It was... awkward. But he did his best. He taught me how to read and write, something I hadn't done since the age of 10. Because my body was messed up, and I couldn't talk, he got me into dancing as a form of rehabilitation. He had rules, but it was nice not being chained up like an animal" "You say your brother had rules? Can you elaborate?" "No social media accounts. No making a scene. No bank account and No ID. He used to say we had to be careful or they'd find us. He also had rules around the house. I had to pay rent. I couldn't be friends with alphas or talk to them. Because my heats were so mild, I still had to work through them. If I got sick, or a upset, I'd climb into bed with him. I used to hurt myself during my heats... I'd try to scratch between my legs... I didn't used to understand why, but Zeke would clean me up. He chose my clothes and hair. He controlled my diet. I couldn't weigh too much, because people wouldn't pay a fat dancer. He was the one who got me a job at the club. Then made Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover get jobs there so they could watch me..." "Just a second, would you mind explaining who they are?" "Oh. Reiner and Bertholdt were two alphas that lived with Zeke and I. Zeke had something on them. Both of them were there... were there when... he was killed" "So Zeke was controlling?" "I thought he was trying to teach me. He made me pay bills and rent, and for food. He said he was trying to teach me... because no one ever had. He'd tell me when I'd been good or bad" "So he taught you to read and write?" "Yeah... but Levi taught me how to do it better. When I was with Zeke, it was more like a game. I knew the words by matching them together, like matching pictures. My phone did that spelling thing, so I could guess some things. Zeke only made sure I knew the basics, and I was supposed to be happy with that" "Levi is your alpha?" "Levi Ackerman. He's my husband and mate" "And did he like Zeke?" "No... but he hardly knew anything about him. Zeke didn't like Levi though. He called him a bad influence... and it was better Zeke didn't know Levi. It was safer" "What do you mean "safer"?" "Zeke. Zeke got violent when I was involved. He put Bertholdt in hospital for being nice to me. He burned down the club I danced at once I got fired... he um... he killed people too" "He killed people?" "The people of the foster home... he killed them..." Eren's voice was barely a whisper. He'd fucked up by saying that... "Did you tell anyone that?" Eren nodded "No one listens to what omegas say. We're either lying or being dramatic... I never thought alphas could care until I met Hanji, Levi and Moblit" "And how did you meet them?" "I was dancing and an alpha pulled me off the stage. It's really common. A lot of dancers are harassed and abused. Hanji and Levi rushed to help me because I landed on a glass. A few weeks later, I busted my ankle. This lead to my brother abandoning me at the hospital, and Hanji and her husband Moblit taking me in" "They sound like good people" "They are... because of my past, I had problems with male alphas, but they helped me through it... I'd never met anyone who would just open their home like that. They didn't expect anything of me. Didn't force me to do anything. They were just there" "Where is this line of questioning even going? My client had nothing to do with any of this" "He has a point. Make your point councillor" Eren swallowed hard. Zeke might have been planning to sell him... but talking about him make him miss him... "Right. I'm sorry, getting back to the matter at hand. Eren, what can you tell me about your brother's murder?" Wiping his face, Eren sniffled and nodded "My brother was murdered by Reiner and Bertholdt... I... I was at our apartment. I had a fight with Hanji, an Levi and ran away. One of Zeke's friends picked me up... and brought me back to him. I was in heat and stupidly opened the door. I thought it was Zeke and he had his hands full... it was Reiner and Bertholdt... with other alphas I didn't know..." His voice trembled... tears dripping onto his chest. He probably sounded so fucking stupid "Eren, do you need a moment?" "I want to get this done... I... believed them. They said if I let them touch me, they wouldn't hurt Zeke or Levi. They knew I was falling for Levi. They knew where he lived and worked, where everyone lived and worked. They were the kind of people who'd go after them all and not care... but they broke their promise. Bertholdt killed Zeke while Reiner watched. Zeke told me to run, but I couldn't... they gave me something and my head was all fuzzy... they broke their promises. He was all the family I had and they took him away... I was mid-heat. They didn't suspect anything until I was taken to hospital... I had laid there with his body for a week... I was so stupid. I trusted an alpha because they're alphas. Omega's aren't anything in society. They used me and left me for dead... I wanted to protect my brother and I wanted to protect everyone else from them..." Breaking down into small sobs, Eren rubbed at his stomach "Do you need a break?" Eren shook his head quickly "N-no..." "Why do you think Zeke was killed?" "Because of our father. I've had a lot of time to think about it. They killed Zeke, and left me for dead, trying to kill of Grisha's bloodline. Grisha said he'd agreed to work for the church, for our protection. But they didn't actually need us alive. They just had to say we were and he'd do what they wanted. He did so many bad things, to try and protect us. Reiner and Bertholdt were recruited by The Church. They later went after my husband and I... Zeke. Dad. Reiner. Bertholdt. All these people were hurt because of what my father did, and it ruined so many other lives. How is anyone supposed to live with that? Knowing your father was involved in selling omegas and their children? They bred the kids for organs and for couples who couldn't have kids. They took babies from their parents and experimented... How could people do that to other people? And do it all for money?! It was revolting..." Starting to hyperventilate, he covered his face with his hands "I think we'll leave it here today. Medic, if you'll please escort Mr Yeager from the witness box" His words affected everyone in the room, but that was what happened when he got too worked up. Word vomit. He didn't even know what he was saying, only that he desperately needed go get his point across and the truth of what happened out there. People needed to know what kind of person Nick really was, and that he was a threat to everyone. Helped from the stand by the medic, Eren threw up the moment they were out the courtroom. His whole body was covered in a fine layer of sweat as he was guided from his mess and into the wheelchair. Tapping his face, Mike tried to get his attention, but Eren was fighting too hard to breathe. He missed Zeke. He missed Zeke and he... he missed his father. Maybe missed was the wrong word, but he was so confused over what they'd wanted from him. He'd been a good omega for Zeke and that hadn't been enough. He'd made himself too visible and was brought to his father for it. A man who only brought more questions than answers... and both were gone... why was he alive? Why was it up to him to carry all of this? Did his father know that someday he'd be in a courtroom, talking about the things he'd done? That he'd be confessing to letting himself be dirtied... and all of his secrets would be spilling to strangers? There were reporters in the courtroom. They'd probably make him sound even more weak and pathetic than he was... Why wasn't Levi ashamed? He'd been so bad. Zeke would be so mad...

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW - 24 update

Having Floch come to see them on the 5th, Eren was nervous about the 6th. He was supposed to take the stand again, and it seemed like the man was pinning all his hopes on him. The only problem was that being on bedrest with an adventurous toddler wasn't quite happening. Viren didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to jump on the bed or why Eren wasn't allowed to come and play with him and Anna. Anna didn't understand it either, but she was much more reasonable than Viren. Hanji had told her she had to be gentle with him, so he'd been stuck "gently" playing dolls with the girl, while Viren wasn't impressed. Everything Eren did, was closely monitored by Levi. Bathroom trips, sponge baths, changing clothes and even rolling over in bed, Levi was there. Taking the stand would be the first time that Eren would be allowed some space to breathe, and unlike before, Floch wanted him to give his statement in three parts, rather than a series of statements. Like it made any real difference, no matter how "nicely" Floch tried to word it. Nick's lawyers still weren't done with him, and had scheduled to call back to the stand towards the end of the month. It was naive, but he'd prayed the trial would all be over by now... yet, apparently they were still questioning witnesses... a majority, Floch had a feeling, had been paid off. * Unable to get comfortable or sleep, Eren had crept out of their bedroom while Levi was sleeping. He couldn't take the constant pressure on his hips and lower back... and he was sick of feeling useless. His stitches were mostly kind of healed, or enough that he felt like he could sneeze without risking everything busting out. Which surely had to mean the stitches inside of him were the same. He was only on rest really to prevent any amniotic fluid leaks given they'd had to go through the sack to reach the pup. Stealing a proper shower, unaided and alone, he felt more human coming out of it than he had since before the surgery. He hated the feel of dirt against his skin, or the feeling of his being thick and oily. Even after drying and blow drying his hair, he still had time to do his make up and make a start on breakfast with Viren, before Levi came rushing out "You're not supposed to be on your feet!" Marching into the kitchen, Levi took the fry pan off the stove top, scaring Viren as he slammed it down on the counter "Levi..." "You're supposed to be resting. Do you want to go into labour?!" "Levi..." "I can't have... not today..." Despite his heart racing from Levi being so angry, he knew his alpha was only angry because he was scared "Ok... ok, I'm sorry. I wasn't comfortable in bed, so I got up. I've been taking it easy. I know you're worried, but I feel alright" He still felt like shit over the pup, and it stung to know Levi thought he'd intentionally place their child in danger after all he went through to keep them alive. Biting his lip, he felt Viren taking his hand "Mummy?" "It's ok, baby. Daddy isn't really mad. Let's go sit on the sofa and watch 'toons" Rubbing his face, Levi sighed. Reaching out, Eren flinched away. Levi's scent was still too angry for him to handle. Without being able to distract himself from the trial with trivial things, it was flooding back into his mind "I'm sorry. It's just... everything is place to keep you safe. The last thing we need is the pup making an early appearance" "Don't you think I know that? My stitches are mostly healed and you're going to stick me in that stupid wheelchair today. I hurt from sitting all the time. I want to be on my feet, even if it's to just walk a little... making breakfast isn't going to send me into labour, but fighting with you over everything just might" Leading Viren out the kitchen, and to the sofa, Titan rose long enough for them to settle, before climbing into Viren's lap so he could place his paws on Eren's stomach. Titan had been super affectionate with all of them since their return. Patting Titan, Viren looked up to him "That's right, be careful with Titan" "He's heavy and furry!" "He is. He's also mummy's best friend" "You can have a cat for a friend?" "Yep. He's very special to me, just like you're very special to me" "Eren, he better not be on your stomach!" Stupid Levi... "He's not. He's in Viren's lap. If you're going to make breakfast, hurry up and make it!" "Mum, did dad do something wrong?" "No, baby. Mummy and daddy aren't fighting. Daddy is just super worried about mummy's tummy" "Mummy's tummy is big!" Wasn't that the truth. 30 weeks and he looked every single bit of it. Nothing fitted anymore, even the shirt of Mike's he was wearing was stretched to breaking point. He really needed new clothes, but the trial came first... or maybe he could just get his own back at Levi and stop wearing shirts at home. From the way he'd wake with Levi poking him in the arse, his alpha was struggling like hell with his desires. Sucked to be him... Eren was struggling with his own horniness, but he could "enjoy" his body, while Levi had to watch and wait. After all, they didn't tell him he couldn't jerk off, and with all that pressure on his arse, these things were bound to happen "Mummy, will my tummy get all big like that?" "No baby. You're so much like your father, I'm expecting you to be a little alpha like him" "I'm not little!" Eren sighed. Levi's input wasn't helping "Not everyone can get pregnant baby... some guys can and some girls can. But your tummy isn't going to get all big like this" "It looks funny" "It does, doesn't it. Here, give me your hand" Moving Titan's paws out the way, Eren placed Viren hand on his swell, where one of the pups were kicking. Letting out a shrieking laugh, Viren jerked his hand back "That feels funny!" "That's your little brother, or sister... in a couple of months, you're going to be a big brother" "What if I don't want to be a brother?" "It doesn't quite work like that. But I promise, mummy and daddy are going to love you just as much. No matter what baby" "It's not a girl is it? I don't want a girl" "Mummy and daddy don't know yet..." "But it's in you" "Really? I hadn't noticed. Why don't you keep patting Titan? He really likes being patted softly" "Do you like being patted softly?" Eren snorted "Yeah, baby. Daddy gives the best belly rubs" "He likes your tummy!" "He does. And when you're an adult, you'll understand all about it... but not before you're 30" "That's soooooo old" "How old do you think mummy is?" Viren hummed "12!" "And daddy?" "15!" Oh god... his son was way too fucking cute, though a little alarming over how young he was making them "And how old are you?" "Ummmm... this many" Holding up four fingers, his son gave him a toothy grin "Not quite. You're this many, baby" Pushing down Viren's little finger, Eren nodded "Yep. My little big man is 3" "Three!" "And how old is kitty?!" "I don't know, you'll have to ask daddy!" Viren climbed off the sofa, to run into the kitchen to ask Levi all about how old Titan in. In his haste, Titan was dislodged from his lap, the tom jumping onto Eren's belly in annoyance. Scratching his chin lovingly, he whispered to Titan "If you don't tell, I won't. I love you, handsome man" * Forced into the loathsome wheelchair, Eren hated it. Arriving after the start of the trial was organised by Floch, with two of his team members acting as Eren's guards. With the piece of shit known as Nick, already inside the courtroom, he wasn't in danger of being pushing down again, though he was in danger of yelling if people didn't stop fussing. Mike was there to monitor him, with the medic, before taking the stand, while Hanji had taken Viren to the natural history museum with Anna. He hated disrupting everyone's life over his past. He'd tried so hard to keep them all out of it, yet there they all were, dragged into another one of his messes. Allowed some decency, he was permitted to walk into the courtroom. Mike would be waiting behind the scene on the off-chance something went wrong while he gave evidence. The man a little concerned at about his high blood pressure, but as there hadn't been any fluid loss, Eren wasn't as concerned. Stepping into the room, everything was too quiet for his liking. Nick looked disgustingly pleased to see him... a sentiment Eren couldn't echo. Taking his oath, he could tell more than a few people were surprised to hear him speak, though the translator was on hand incase his voice decided to desert him again. Sitting in the hard wooden chair, his back complained at the lack of comfort. Whatever Floch had planned, it better be worth all of this. Smiling at him, Floch's lawyer tried to be friendly... tried being the key word. The man talking to him softly as if he was going to break if he raised his voice too loud "Hello Eren, it's nice to see you've recovered. I want to ask you some simple questions today, is that alright?" "Y-yes" "Excellent. Now Eren, Nick's team hasn't really explored your life, so today, I want you to tell us a little more" Nick's lawyers automatically objected, because "it has nothing to do with the current case". Arguing that it spoke to Eren's state of mind and relationship to his father, it was surprisingly allowed. Maybe it was just surprising to him "So Eren, let's start with the basics shall we? How old were you, when you presented as an omega?" "I was 8" Floch hadn't told him much about what to expect from his legal team, only to go with it "You were 8 years old when you presented. That's awfully young... and just for the sake of memory, how old are you now?" "I'm 24. 25 at the end of the month" "So you've been an omega for 16 years. How long did it take for you to become accustomed to your secondary dynamic?" "I... don't think I ever really have..." "So you've never felt comfortable in your own skin?" "No... it was worse before I met my alpha. But society isn't that great with its treatment of omegas. But Levi's always seen me as more than omega... not like everyone else" "You mean, like with your foster home placements? Eren, could you tell us how you ended up on foster care?" Ooooh... so... nope. He still wasn't sure where this was going "After my mum died, my father changed..." "Sorry to interrupt, but your mother dying, can you elaborate on that for us?" "My dad shot my mum in front of me when I was 10... in the kitchen of our old house. I was knocked unconscious by him. After that night, he became abusive. He's regularly beat me and abuse me for being an omega. He broke my arm and abandoned me... after that, he disappeared and I was placed into foster care" He hadn't even been on the stand for 10 minutes and he was tearing up... "And you had no idea he was alive?" "No... they said they'd tried to find him, but instead they found Zeke" "For clarification, Zeke was?" "My older half brother. He took me in when I was 17" "And we'll get to that. Eren, can you tell me what happened in foster care? In particular what happened in that last house?" "I couldn't forget, even if I tried... I was passed from family to family as... as I'd presented so young and no one wanted the hassle of a young omega in heat, near their children. The last house I was in... was the worst. At first I thought it was something I'd done. Something I deserved... I did everything for them. Because I'd been moved around so much, no one came to check on me. I'd already stopped going to school after my mother died, and I was, am, an omega. They'd found a home that hadn't sent me back, and that was that" Shit... he was starting to panic. Scratching at his leg through his jeans, he wanted to tear into his own skin... he knew what Floch's lawyer wanted... and now he'd have to spill his shameful secrets to the whole courtroom... they were all going to find him dirty and wrong... he was... "Eren, it's alright. You're doing great. You said you did everything. Can you elaborate on that for me?" "I cooked and cleaned... and was... was the entertainment. They kept me gagged and bounded so I could do things, but couldn't complain. As I got older... they um... started using me for more than just entertainment. They wouldn't knot me, but everything else was ok to them... sometimes they got carried away, but they directed most of it at my stomach, so even if they did get carried away... nothing could have survived" "So they raped you?" Rape was such a harsh word... a word he really hadn't understood until Levi explained everything to him and helped him understand that things done to him hadn't been his fault, and that his body belonged to him. It was his right to decide who touched him and how "Y-yes... I thought it was all my fault. That I deserved it for being an omega... but one night they were talking. They knew... they knew who my father was... they were doing everything to me, because of who he was and what he'd done" "They knew who you were?" "Yes... they... they kept me in the basement... that's where they found me. They... they made me eat and drink from bowls like a dog. I slept on thin blankets that were always wet and cold... when it'd rain, the basement would flood... and there were rats" Nick's lawyers objected again, and this time Floch's lawyer was told to make his point already. Shaking like a leaf, Eren really wanted things to come to an end soon. Levi had healed so many wounds, but now those wounds were being picked open again. It didn't matter if he objected anyway... Eren was getting it now. Floch was making him more human for the jury, by exposing how bad omegas were treated by society "I'm sorry Eren. You're doing so well, but we don't want to put any pressure on you or your pregnancy. I understand you had a slight fall and complications?" "I was pushed down the steps of the courthouse" "Ah. I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're anxious to get off the stand, so can I ask that you tell us what came next? What happened once you were taken from that house? Then you can take a break" "After... after I was found, I was in hospital. My skin had grown over the plastic restraints around my ankles. My body hadn't grown right from being constantly restrained. I was underweight, covered in sores and bites that were infected... my teeth grew funny because of the gag and I nearly died... I had to have surgery, but I couldn't speak... I'd been gagged for so long that when they took it out, I felt like I didn't deserve to have a voice. Someone had reported the family to social services and the police... about two months after I was brought in, I met my older half brother Zeke Yeager, who became my legal guardian. The police also weren't aware that my father was alive and working just outside of Karanes in an omega breeding farm known as "The Church"" Nick looked ready to have a stroke, Floch's lawyer looked happy as fuck, and Eren... was crying silently. He was done. It was all too much. Pulling power, the judge released him from the stand. Probably because his scent was oozing out and making more than a couple of the courtroom staff uncomfortable. Collapsing into Mike's arms, Mike stroked his hair like Levi would. He'd opened his mouth and the truth had come out... as proud of himself as he was, he wanted Levi even more "I need Levi" "Let me take care of you first..." Deposited into the wheelchair, Mike returned him to the room they'd been waiting in. A few minutes later, Levi was there. Despite knowing he was supposed to remain sitting, he needed his mate. Levi catching him as he threw himself at his alpha "Bright Eyes, you're ok..." "I want to go home... take me home..." "I will. I will, I've got you. You did so good" "Nick was mad... so mad..." "I know. And that's because he knows he's screwed. You did so good" "I wasn't up there long..." "It doesn't matter how long you were up there for, you told them in your own words what happened because of your father. Don't you see. Nick employed Grisha... but he also had to have had someone in the foster system. They knew about your father. This has opened up a whole other line of investigation now. All those kids being mistreated, people are going to be demanding someone checks on them. You did so good" "Can we go home... I... need you to do something for me...?" "Anything for you. Anything at all. I couldn't be prouder of you. I'm serious" "I feel dirty" "You're not dirty... not at all. You did so good" Stroking his face, Eren nuzzled into Levi's palm. He could almost believe it when it came from Levi "Eren, I want to give you quick look over and make sure you're ok, then Levi can take you home" Eren shook his head, he wanted to get out of the courthouse before he ran the risk of running into Nick or one of his paid friends "Eren, its ok. Mike won't hurt you" God. Levi could be clueless sometimes "It's not about that... I don't like risking seeing Nick" "Nick's being dragged off again. It's probably safer to stay in here" "Ok..." "Hey, he's not going to lay a finger on you" "I don't want to talk about it here" * Viren was still with Hanji while Eren led Levi into the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Levi moved to take his face into his hands "Do you want to talk about it now?" "I... this morning you upset me... I know I'm supposed to be resting, but it just brings nightmares and makes my arse hurt" "You knew this was going to be hard, and you agreed" "I know. It's just harder than I thought it'd be... and today really... really brought back things you'd made go away" "Is that why we're in the bathroom?" Eren nodded "What is it? What do you need?" "I feel dirty... you know what they did to me and I said that in front of everyone... I didn't want people to know" "I know you didn't" "I don't want to go back there... I don't want to feel like that" "What do you need?" "I... want you to touch me..." "Eren" "Not like that... I want you to make me dirty... so when they make me remember, I think of you" "Eren, it doesn't work like that" "Levi, you've done so much. You tried so hard to fix me. And now I'm like this again. The whole drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about it. They beat me. They jacked off on me and they pissed on me... I know it's kind of a thing you like... and I want to... not think of it as a bad thing because of you" Levi groaned, his alpha shaking his head "You're killing me here. I never meant to..." "No! No... I... it's different when it's you... it's always been different with you. You give me the choice, and the control of my own body. You taught me that it was my body... so... I want to do this with you" "You're supposed to be resting" "I'm literally sitting at the moment" "Eren..." "Please, Levi. I don't mean having sex or doing anything to extreme... I want to watch you jerk off and come on my stomach" Levi let out a laugh "That's all?" "What else..." Eren blushed as he realised where Levi's mind had gone "That's not what I... I mean... maybe? Is this stupid?" "No. I get it now... and I don't need to be asked twice, but I think our bed's more comfortable" "I want to take a shower after... with you" "Then let me take good care of you" Stripped of his bra and Mike's shirt, Eren watched as Levi touched himself. It was fucking hot. Here was a prime alpha, doing as he'd asked. Giving him the power to say no. Stripped naked, Levi had one foot up on the edge of the bathtub, and he jerked himself off. His mate smelt amazing, Eren already soaking wet with slick, despite knowing Levi couldn't mount him. Licking his lips, one hand shifted to work his left breast, as the other rubbed at his trapped dick, Levi growling as Eren mewed "You're so fucking beautiful with that big stomach of yours... you look ready to burst, Bright Eyes" "Mmm... feel ready to burst too..." Tweaking his nipple, milk started to spill, his breasts had leaked all morning, feeling puffy and swollen in his bra "Shit... Eren. I'm going to..." Nodding quickly, he watched Levi come, semen splattering across the top of his gravid belly as Levi milked every drop. Panting from his orgasm, his husband nodded to him "Do you want me to?" "Yes..." Taking half a step closer Levi kissed him deeply. Eren whimpering as his husband wet himself across his stomach. It was such a dirty thing to do, but they'd done it to him... and now his husband had asked his permission. He'd given him the power to decide and choose this for himself. Breaking the kiss, Eren choked on his emotions "Thank you... thank you... I'm sorry... I'm sorry to ask you too... I don't want to remember them... I'm not there's. I'm yours" "You're mine. All mine. Let's clean you up? Then cuddles on the sofa?" "I'm sorry... when they did it... I always felt so small... but you make me... feel good" "You're allowed to feel good. You're allowed to be happy. You're more than an omega. You're more than you think you are" "Thinking about it makes me feel so dirty" "You're not. Here, come here. Let me" Suckling from his breasts, Levi made him come in his pants, then encourage him to wet himself against his leg. It was weird. He didn't know if Levi understood his need to chose this for himself, but he did like the idea of taking it as Levi dominating him and him dominating him back, like they were claiming each other. Stripped down, Levi took pity on him. His alpha massaged him as they showered, working out the knots in his lower back until he could stand without the same amount of pain and stiffness. After their shower, Levi swept him off to the sofa. Laying in Levi's arms felt nice, his husband giving him belly rubs while Titan sat on the top of the sofa, watching over them. Each time his anxieties spiked, Levi was there, catching his hands and stopping him from scratching "Are you ok?" "Yeah... maybe... just thinking" "About what? What's up?" "Are you mad?" "Mad about what?" "What I asked you to do" "No. No, I'm not mad. I was worried it'd upset you" "It's weird isn't it? That it comes back so easily" "It's not weird at all. I could have killed Floch when his lawyer started" "I didn't get it at first" "I didn't either, but I'm proud of you and we know what's coming now" "Yeah... more shit" "If you don't want to testify, I'll steal you away" "Today was hard, but I got to choose my words" "And you did so well. Tomorrow's going to be hard too" "Mmm..." "And I'll be there. Erwin's given his testimony, so he's going to be there. You're not going through this alone" "It feels lonely up there" "I know. But you're doing so well, just a little longer and it'll be done" "God, I really hope so" "So do I"