#so yeah i don't remember a lot of details
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hi! #8, #11, and #13 for the writer asks please 🤍
omg.. i was waiting for one of these.. THANK YOU.
8. do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?
hard to say. the beginning can be a rough patch if you don't know what you're doing. the middle can be grueling and too much all at once. and the end can feel tortuous as you're there, but not quite. but, i would have to say the end, because at that point i have written a substantial amount to peek back at and feel proud about (or simply to edit it because.. lesbehonest.. editing > drafting)
11. link three favorite fics.
ok this is a tough one because i have to trudge back and find whatever the hell i've read that actually like.. changed my brain chemistry.. (and is also still up) more than friends by @gracieheartspedro (honorable mention: dagger in the heart) is a more recent favorite.. tbh a classic. and i love jackson ellie. second, a friend in need by @s-4pphics changed the way i think about jackson!ellie so Hard and Bad and I can't stop thinking about It. (honorable mention again: candy crush also had an impact on me, but i think that's because i was in the middle of fortnite while reading it. So. Yeah.) third, pretty girls make graves by a name i can't seem to recall (because the account was deleted) (please let me know if any of you 2023 ogs remember) but another one that still haunts me (in a good way) is marley and me by @total-dxmure again a very old, good ass classic. i miss fics like this guys where did all the good days go. quite literally what is wrong with us now GET BACK TO WORK!!
13. what's a common writing tip that you always follow?
never. over. do. it. okay, being candid, i have a lot of tips that i stringently follow, but good god starting out as a writer a year ago did i need this one. a year ago, i needed to hear that you don't need so many varying epithets. you don't need to explain the microscopic details. you don't need a poem for every emotion. you don't need big fancy words (jargon) that nobody understands. sure, words won't hurt—but a litany of them will. it will hurt your brain. it will hurt OTHER brains. if you can write soft but hit hard without expending it through an entire paragraph of repeats, similies, metaphors, epithets, and absurb amounts of drama, then that makes you a true writer. you shouldn't need 10k+ words to prove yourself. in fact, forcing yourself to hit a goal ends in a bunch of yabber jabber nobody wants to read (unless you're just writing a long-ass story. like me rn tbh. except there's just a lot of lore i don't waste 10 million words on one scene lol). so, no, all the poetical adornments aren't always better. they're fun as hell, and can be a writing style, but oh my god, do those simple one-and-done fics take me the fuck out. besides, writing all that bs will wear you down so fast (learned my lesson). i could ramble on and on about tips. stop me here.
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Rewatching ep. 27 of Love Between Fairy and Devil:
(spoilers ahead)
I still can't believe DFQC gave Xiao Lanhua permission to talk with Changheng privately. If that doesn't show growth, I don't know what does
Of course he was burning inside but still
"My affection for you is gratitude and appreciation." I am sorry, Changheng, but you got friendzoned
I like Changheng a lot, but I won't lie, I was so happy when I heard her say these words. She finally admits her feelings
DFQC is so worried, but no he'll play it cool
Oh wait
Awe and now they are being cute
Shangque, don't answer him! It is a trap. Jieli is right, you are silly *facepalm* Why on earth did you trust him with that piece of information?
Omg, not the locks. They are buying the locks. Uff, all I can think of is that bridge scene. They are being cute and I am thinking heartbreak
Yeah, Dongfang Qingcang, keep telling yourself this
Jieli and Sangque are so cute
All Shangque wants to do is see the moon with Jieli, but she is busy girlbossing
DFQC had to go to the loudest vendor in the Cangyan Sea
How does Xiao Lanhua have money? Is DFQC giving her an allowance or what?
Omg, the locks, the locks *taking deep breaths, trying not to cry*
And now he is carving her name with a silly smile on his face. Awe baby is so in love
Xunfeng, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING? Leave the man alone! He is busy carving her name on the lock and he is happy
Well, he does have a point though about the hellfire
Oh no, did he just ask him to kill her?
Tell him, Dongfang Qingcang
Xunfeng, can you please shush?
I love Ronghao playing the flute with no effort or facial movement whatsoever
Btw, Ronghao is so delulu, but so handsome. I can't stop staring at him
Poor baby Ronghao. I feel so bad for his past. But it still does not excuse all the evil he's done and the hurt he's caused
"I just want my master back. Even if she kills me, I'll feel no regrets." *sigh*
Oh good, the emperor *insert sarcasm*
"I really don't know how to spend my days." Changheng needs desperately a new hobby
Oh now the emperor is like "look, bro, I didn't mean I'll kill you, just admit your mistake and punishment and all is well. I kinda need you to kill DFQC for me, because I may be the emperor but you are stroooonger"
Tell him, Changheng!
Is there a magical medical device indicating the percentage of recovery for DFQC and in earlier episodes for Xiao Lanhua?
DFQC is so worried for his people, but Xiao Lanhua is there for him
Jieli, I trusted you, I really did
#apologies for the long post#i admit i can't rewatch after ep 27 on my own#i need company#and emotional support#it would be funny if it weren't true#i am a big baby i know#this drama is such a rollercoaster#also i watched the last episodes in a hurry because i wanted to see the end#so yeah i don't remember a lot of details#see you in episode 28#love between fairy and devil#lbfad#thoughts#rewatching#mine#orchid's reactions
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I was reading a collection of Māori myth retellings (Pūrākau: Māori Myths Retold by Māori Writers) and there I read the myth of the creation of the first woman, Hine-nui-te-pō, which was very similar to John and Alecto's story. She was molded from the earth/dirt by the god Tane, and she was his wife until she ran away, ashamed because he was her father and husband, and became a goddess of darkness and death/underworld. Here's a link to a very short summary of the myth. The way the book presented the creation myth was the standard, men longed for company/sex, but she does seem to be a fairly important and powerful goddess (killed the hero Maui) which differs from John's comparison of Alecto to other women who were created in stories
#i actually read it forever ago so i don't remember a lot of other specific details#and the web doesn't have much so i highly recommend reading that book#so yeah i can't do much more analysis of why tazmuir might have done this other than the leo pointing meme#i'd say it's a miss tm didn't say it when john calls alecto eve galatea and Frankenstein but maybe it would be too on the nose#to just point out your allusions that hard#the locked tomb#tlt#nona the ninth#ntn#i hadn't posted about this bc I was like surely someone pointed this out but idk if i've seen a post
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i think my brain should be studied i'm being fr
#surely this isn't normal#my dreams are like a portal to another life#sometimes i dream about the next day in advance#like with full details. and i often plan lessons in my sleep#sometimes i dream up entire stories with full fledged characters and backstories and intricate plot points etc#last night i dreamt up not just one but about ten such episodes#in the same night i also dreamt that i started taking T and had sex with a random girl and then had. a kinky adventure with dean winchester#(i love being ace about also this dream sex was pretty nice!)#i'm not gonna tell all the stories bc we would be here all day but#there were a Lot of different stories in my dream#full stories that all felt like they happened over the course of days or weeks or months or years in some cases#god i met so many different people in one night and they don't even exist#how i am expected to function properly when my head is so full of memories from lives i never lived but also kind of did#i feel like there's a hundred different universes in my memories and they're all from dreams but they all feel super real#like oh yeah remember that time i was part of a forest dwelling society that started gaining powers and we all thought they were#evil powers but it turns out the forest had given us the ability to communicate with it and to fly and to heal#or oh yeah i traveled the world once and then on my way back i had to cheat customs that wanted to charge me an exorbitant amount of money#for my luggage#by jumping down the luggage slide and travelling with the luggage#or oh yeah i was on T once and actually lost my T pills in a swamp but i dug around and ended up finding them#and i started to grow facial hair after like a week#like stoooop that's too many lives to live#every single night i go through another portal and live a whole ass life#rain.stuff#rain.dreams
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What's the apple tree yard? And its conspiracy? (^.^)
where do I start
#basically S4 of sherlock was so utterly; mind-blowingly bad that some fans went “this can't possibly be how it ends”#and started talking about a secret 4th episode/finale#and they convinced themselves that apple tree yard - a series which was about to premiere#was actually some sort of... clue to this secret sherlock ep?#like that it was a fake show and all the promo about it was actually about sherlock#I don't remember the details#crazy fandom. crazy times.#you had to filter out a lot to have a good time#but sometimes the craziness was entertaining I'm not gonna lie#I also want to stress some people were 100% serious about this#it wasn't a “haha yeah the secret episode we've all seen it” wink-wink à la goncharov kind of joke#I'd like to say this was peak sherlock fandom insanity but I'm not 100% sure#good fics though.#asks
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oh, a fun* thing I'm noticing about when I'm writing something is that there's absolutely no descriptions of what anything looks like ever. not the rooms, not people's clothes, just nothing. everything happens in a blank void and no one... is wearing any clothes? no that's definitely not where I was going with that but now I've forgotten what I really wanted to say.
anyway, it's really not surprising and just mirrors how I read things written by other people too - I completely skip over any descriptions like that. can't do anything with it anyway so it's just unnecessary information to me
*not so fun
#context: I have aphantasia#there's no images whatsoever. so knowing what a room looks like doesn't help me at all. can't remember.#I hate detailed descriptions of what everyone's wearing. I mean specifically when it's like. it's described in detail what every damn#character is wearing all the time. as long as it's not relevant I just can't do anything with that. so I skip it#but anyway lol it's probably a very good thing that I stopped thinking I wanted to be a writer when I was like 7.#I wouldn't be able to remember to include stuff like that#but yeah anyway it just makes me sad really lol. feels like I miss like. a pretty big part of things sometimes.#and it's very hard to describe what anything looks like when you can't imagine it. don't know if that's how other people do that but anyway#I just find it interesting. mostly sad. but interesting. I just think it must be so fucking cool to see images in your mind. like damn#people are really out there living like that?? sounds made up but okay#I can just barely imagine a voice if I try really really hard. one at a time. and it takes a lot of practice. other than that?#it's just words.#personal
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At last... The final mount unlock.
Scarlet can have an extra fluffy skyscale, as a treat.
#GW2#Guild Wars 2#Scarlet Briar#i technically unlocked it like 2 days ago#i just kept forgetting to actually announce it HDHFDHGDFH#anyway she gets a lunar mane and there's a story behind it#where the hatchling was a rude little thing that kept nipping its siblings and gorrik could Not figure out what to do about it#and the Commander was zero help and none of Taimi's suggestions were working either#so. he RELUCTANTLY asked Ceara; at that point they don't know each other well yet and she's only Kind Of turned her life around#so she's like. hm. irritable little baby creature. doesn't seem to like its siblings. doesn't respect authority. hm. mood.#she separates it from the other hatchlings and decides to let it take the lead and show her what it wants#she notices it keeps messing with and chewing on its leg. takes a look: it's angry at the tracker (which is why it doesn't like Gorrik)#apparently the critter remembered where he put it and decided it Does Not Like That. so she ignores his protests and removes it#and. it calms down. just like that. it still avoids the other hatchlings and glares at Gorrik occasionally but can be fairly friendly#but the final detail that seals the deal#is that it looks a lot like a minotaur calf when it's young#and one of my many headcanons is that Ceara has a soft spot for minotaurs (hence why her first steam creature is one)#so she decides it's extremely cute and keeps spoiling it with treats#and then. surprise. it keeps Following Her Home#so everyone just kinda decides. yeah that's her problem now.#it's a very soft and fluffy thing but if you're rude it Will take your fingers#anyway. that's all for the lore hours. //scurries away
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hm it is perhaps time for a Video Game. it is friday evening and i am allowed to rest. amen.
#started mgsv over again today because i hate myself#but also it's been like a year since i last played the story so sigh i figured i'd start it over#it's just that i have come to absolutely fucking hate the opening#like it's FINE it's just that you play it twice per playthrough and i have played this stupid game. so many times.#it loses its novelty quick#was at the sahelanthropus fight last time which again is fine it just takes too long and i don't care#velegrin it sounds like you don't even like that game. do you even like that game?#the answer no but also yes <3#though might crack and put in mgs1#solid snake my beloved#was worried about the quality of the remaster and yeah it might end up being not-as-good as existing emulators#but GOD lots of little details and extras that i appreciate#oh wait you know what i'm going to play mgsv i just remembered my wife kazuhira miller
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Oh pog I just aged
#I WASN'T#EVEN PAYING ATTENTION#Ok but like I'm gonna see the Mario Movie for my bday with a bunch of friends and I'm excited for it and it'll be awesome#which is on Saturday soo not the same day but STILL#and also sleepover at my house with two of my close friends hell yeahs#I'm a sleep paralysis demon I don't get out much 😭#and I'm totally prepared for my voice to get hoarse because I'll be talking a lot#because I barley talk#or I just whisper and mumble idk#uuh yeah 🔥 AUTISM 🔥#I remember when I first found out I had it like 2 or so years ago and I was like#ooh shit EVERYTHING makes so much more sense now#only thing I don't like about my autism is my struggles with directions#like if it's not written down me step by step in a very specific and detailed way I'm gonna have a hard time#other than that being autistic is nice I love being a deranged fucking GREMLIN#I'm getting VERY off topic UM#back to playing Cuphead for me#still gotta S rank all the DLC bosses#/#rambles
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#ok so this probably really random and personal but whatever#so my hometown has a main street right? and my great grandfather was on the first town council & was active in the community#so the main street is named after him#& he's 'german'. kinda. both his parents were born in Lower Lusatia which is in East Germany & immigrated to Australia as teens#so he's Sorbian/Wendish but nobody knows what that is (including me until I was 16) so from all outwards appearances he was German#like his mother tongue was german & learnt at school his name is very German etc#anyway there's two parts of this#so when he was born my great great grandparents gave him an obviously German name & told whoever to write that down#on the birth certificate & this was the name he went by for a lot of his life#however when he was 35/40 he decided to buy land & he needed his birth certificate to complete the deal#but literally NO ONE with his name existed. however there was someone else with all the same details with an Obviously English Name#so someone change HIS NAME without telling anyone & we don't know who#and because it's the 1920s he decides to keep the name + he mainly went by a nickname anyway#also I imagining changing your birth certificate would be somewhat complicated in the 1920s?? idk tho#so remember the main street? yeah so it's his last name right?#the only part of his name not anglicized is his last name#there's a bakery on this street that supplies bread to the local supermarket#and a few months ago I happened to look at the bag more closely where they added their contact information#THEY SPELT THE STREET NAME WRONG#it could be a typo but it's on their socials too :/ & it's a small change#but distinctly anglicizing it (-mann -> -man)#it's probably not that much of a big deal but it pisses me off soooo bad#like don't touch that. don't do more :(#that's my grandmother's name#anyway 🤪🤪 descendant of immigrants thingz#bella talks
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Truth be told, that scene I'm trying to get to is usually the scene I write first now when I start a story. (Or very close to first.) That way, I get that scene out of my head and don't have to worry about it again until the story begins to take more shape.
Then, if I honestly don't have a full plot (or story structure) in mind for the scene, I'll work backward from that scene to see if one can be put together that makes sense. And, when I do that, I usually find that the scene I'm trying to get to either gets better than I first imagined due to rewriting and making sure it fits the plot and structure I've come up with . . . or the scene gets cut and one even better takes its place.
When I was first having trouble writing my fic Now or Neverland, I couldn't get inspired to write past the opening scene of that fic for a long time (a few months). It was hard at first to make myself do it, but instead of just staying stuck and not getting anything done, I jumped ahead and wrote two scenes I had more passion for and that I wanted to get to more than writing the stuff before it. (Which was feeling like a slog at the time.)
After jumping ahead and writing those two scenes, writing that fic became much easier for me to do, as I became less and less afraid to write out of order. And scenes I had skipped ahead to write first became even better as I rewrote them when the plot and structure started taking more shape (and it all became better than I first imagined it).
So yeah. I say, don't be afraid to write out of order. At least for me, I feel it makes my writing better when I do so. And I don't have to wait around to find a plot and structure that gets me to the scene that might have inspired the work. Nor do I end up trying to rush through the boring exposition scenes either. Instead, the scene will inspire the plot and structure, and the scene will usually end up being even better than I first imagined it when I'm done with the story. (And those more boring scenes, oddly, don't become so boring to write anymore either, when I can just do it later after the more fun stuff.)
#and don't be afraid to cut that scene either#because usually an even better one will end up replacing it#and that inspiration scene -- if it stays in -- might not even end up being your favorite scene in the end as well#I just wrote a scene that I didn't even plan for#for my next fic#that I ended up *loving* when I finished it#and for#Now or Neverland#that happened a lot as well#and if I remember correctly it was the phone call scene between#Daniel and Armand#that first inspired that fic#and that scene didn't even end up being my favorite scene when I finished that fic#also#it isn't so much the plot as it is the structure of it that I always end up having to figure out when I writing#because I usually have a plan before I start#which inevitably all goes to shit when I actually start writing#hell I just restructured the plot of my next fic *two days ago*#after writing a detailed outline and writing one scene already for it#so yeah#it's not usually a plot problem but structuring the story of the plot for me#writing#creative writing#fiction#fanfiction
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ooo that's minty babyyy
#just me hi#almost wrote 'babuuu' up there loll#anywho i got gum yesterday cuz i'm tryna stop chewing on my. everything hkfsh#lips + cheeks + finger skin. i don't like cuts v-v#i got miiiiiiiiint because they didn't have waaaaaaatermelon hbfsh :)#it's not so burny but i do still wish i had watermelon... ou....#//i wanna do something rn but i don't. know. wghat#pi.e is always welcome but i wanna work on bl.s but i'm also having my siblings play through a story that i have Stuck in my brain so hkfsh#i didn't think i'd get so Brained abt this one. and because i had them play it before i had an actual plot ready(just had basic world stuff#i can't think of this going any other way hbfshv - lotta fun interesting and weird things have happened that simply cannot be reproduced#/hang on my oven food must be turned lol#okey :3#/like the spy they ran into - idk if i've ever talked abt it lol but m gonna do so now hbfsjv#so they - my brothers whose names are fry and leo in this story. fry is an 8 yo tabby-cat sparrow and leo is the cat-dog-rat thing Shock :)#- anywho they're with the character Teddy and the three of them were going to head to the Crow Fortress to. fight them i guess lol ?? there#wasn't a like. real plan jfhsjv#so they're on their way out from the shore village-turned-fortress called Shimmery Shore and they run into a cloaked figure like a couple#miles off going towards Shimmery Shore (where fry's mother runs the fortress as general) and they start debating each other#fry goes 'wait what if this is a spy??' leo 'i dunno. we're going somewhere. so.' 'but if it's a spy??' 'well what are you going to do abou#it???' so fry asks the stranger 'are you.. a Spy [eyebrow raise]?' the stranger obviously says 'no!! what are you talking about???'#'that's exactly what a spy would say!' 'i'm sure a spy would also be saying the same thing! YOU'RE spies aren't you? this is all greatly#suspicious !!'#and the argument quickly came to the stranger pulling a sword and saying 'i'm going to pass now and you're not going to stop me' and the#group p much just put up their hands and went 'okay yeah sure man' and let them pass lol#the Squad argued abt it for like a couple minutes and then forgot about it shortly#anyway Shimmery Shore later fell to the Crows and it was due to some sort of slow collapse of their internal structures. and when they hear#that the two of them slowly looked at each other. and then started laughing kjhfsjgjhsv#anyway yea i do a lot of thinkin for this one on the fly. lotta stuff going on hbghfs#i'm bad at remembering finer details but at least i can keep my world here together lol :3#//ouh i've run out of tags.. okay m gonna eat my food n then do something hfh :) tooooodles !!
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It's the agricultural fair soon (WHICH I CAN'T WAIT FOR!!!!) i think i'll wait that to work on my comic again!! :))
#maybe our conventions are very mid (i loved it but the no indie merch artists is </33)#BUT WE HAVE BETTER!!!!#there are gonna be a lot of stalls (from agricultural stuff to. that guy who sell anime merch.. i know he's gonna be here)#and rides (i'm very easily scared on them and the ones i could do are for kids so uh.. i'll see)#and animals!!!!#it's gonna be so fun#also the agricultural fair i really miss is Miel Vert each time i went it was so fun.. but it's so far and going in bus is </333 uuh#and after that i'll work on the story board of my next chapter!!#that let me 3 days to finish my art trades which is impossible#but doing art trades during the story boarding is fine#it's a step that doesn't take me much energy#(maybe it's because they're. so undetailed)#(like yeah it's the point of storyboarding but i happen to have no idea of what i wanted to draw because it's just some random lines)#(and mostly don't even draw any character detail because i'm like “i'll remember who is talking here it's fine!” and hm. fuck you!!!)#what i was talking about already. these posts are too longs fr
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The frustration that Satoru feels when he completely stops seeing you as just one of his best friends.
You’re so pretty, modeling the dress you’ll be wearing on your date with some guy who probably dims in comparison to you. Suguru says you should try the outfit without the cardigan, so you take it off for a second and do a little 360 for the trio. Shoko gasps when she sees the lacy details that were hidden by the coat and Suguru claps in validation. “You’re so gonna get some.”
Satoru just watches, cheek resting in his fist as he half listens to the little debate between Shoko and Suguru. It’s all a blur as he focuses on the one glowing in front of him.
“Satoru?” You wave your hand in front of him.
“Hm?” He blinks up at you, acting like he wasn't zoned out while staring.
“Tie-breaker. Coat or no coat?”
He had heard what Suguru said when you took the cardigan off. 'You’re so gonna get some.'
He doesn’t want that.
“You should stay layered. You might get cold later.”
Suguru groans in disapproval, falling back into the couch cushion, while Shoko grins, smugly, at her small victory.
“Coat it is.” You smile, running back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
“You like her, huh?” Suguru asks as soon as you’re out of sight, a squint of betrayal in his eyes.
“Pfft, nah. What makes you think that?” Satoru defends.
“She asked for our opinion on the dress and you went silent," Shoko says, throwing a knowing smirk at Satoru.
“You don’t want her to get laid or something? Why’d you vote for the granny cardigan?” Suguru adds, arms crossed over his chest.
“I want to see you take care of her when she’s sick. I did it last time, and she was unbearable. Also,” he turns to answer Shoko’s remark, “what can I say? I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“A lot of her on your mind.” Suguru nods over at you.
Satoru turns, a lucent gleam in his eyes when he sees you.
“Alright, guys. I’ll be back before-“
“Don’t rush!” Shoko says, giggling at the dopey look on Satoru’s face.
There’s a smirk tugging on Suguru’s lips. “Have fun.”
“Call if you need me to pick you up," Satoru blurts, sitting up straight on the lounge chair he was seated in.
Shoko gasps and Suguru’s eyes go wide for a second.
“Uh... sure. Will do. Love you guys, bye!” You walk past your friends, opening the front door and shutting it behind you.
Your perfume had some effect on Satoru because for some reason his heart was racing and he was unable to calm it down.
“What?” Satoru asks when he notices the way his friends look at him. “I’m the only one with a car here.”
“Uh-huh, let’s put it that way," Shoko says, sharing a menacing look with Suguru.
—
You did end up having to call Satoru. Your date was the most annoying, insufferable person you had ever met and you weren't going to pretend like you were enjoying your time with him for the rest of the night. How can someone be so different the moment you’re alone together? You couldn’t stand him, so you excused yourself from the table and went to the restroom halfway through your meal.
You called Satoru, hoping he wasn't kidding about calling him if you needed a ride home.
“Hey, uh, I know this is really inconsiderate of me, but can you come pick me up from the restaurant? If you can’t it’s totally fine. I’ll stay.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I'm fine. It turns out I can’t stand this guy.” You chuckle, your hand reaching for the sensor beneath the water faucet, the cool water running through your fingers. "He's gross and just... I don't know."
“Did he do anything to you? Are you okay? ‘Cause, you know, I can kick his ass.”
“You already asked me that, 'toru. I’m okay. He’s just…” you pause, a sigh filling in the silence, “...different from what I remember. I don’t know this guy.”
Satoru is already sitting in his car. The moment you asked him to pick you up, he grabbed his keys and headed for the car.
“Give me ten minutes.”
“It takes twenty to get here.”
“Too bad. I’m running a few red lights. Sit tight.”
“Sa-”
The call ends and you’re left staring at the contact photo you have for him. You turn your screen off and stare into the mirror. You don’t know if you should stay in the bathroom until Satoru gets there or if you should go back out to the man waiting for you.
—
“So, Satoru likes her, huh?” Shoko says, leaning back in the lounge chair Satoru sat in before.
“Who would have guessed? We’ve all been friends for years and he’s never looked at her like that.”
“We should invest in some noise cancelling headphones. Who knows what could happen after tonight?”
Suguru furrows his eyebrows in confusion, so Shoko grins and demonstrates. She rocks back and forth in the old lounge chair, the chair creaking and squealing.
“Oh.” Suguru’s face further scrunches. He didn't need the image of his friends doing that together, in his mind.
—
Your phone vibrates on the sink, and Satoru’s name appears on the screen when you flip it. You quickly answer the call.
“Hey, i’m outside.”
“How do I walk out of here without seeming like a bitch? I didn’t think this through.”
“First, walk out the restaurant doors. Then, get in my car. It’s pretty simple, honestly.”
“We haven’t paid the bill.”
“Fuck it. Let him pay.”
“That’s just wrong. Alright, i’ll be out in a bit. Bye.”
“Bye.”
You sum up all the courage you have and walk out of the bathroom. Once you reach the table, you pull out some cash you have just laying around in your purse, like forty-something bucks, and set it down in the middle of the table.
“Hopefully that’s enough to cover half of it.”
“Where are you going?” Your date asks.
“To keep it polite, I have to go. Have a good rest of your night.”
You walked out of the restaurant, immediately spotting Satoru’s blue Camaro.
The second you get in, you make yourself comfortable, removing your heels and taking down your hair from its updo.
“What’s wrong?” Satoru asks, when you don’t say anything.
“It’s fine. This guy just wasn’t the one.”
Satoru’s chest feels tight now that you’re in the car. The smell of your perfume has returned and you’re glowing in the moonlight. It makes him think of the effort you put into looking the way you do, and how you ended up having to hide in the bathroom.
“Do you wanna go home?”
You’re looking in the sun visor mirror, bobby pins in your mouth as you fix your hair so that it’s not in your face once Satoru starts driving.
“Mm… whatever you want to do,” you say, muffled by the pieces of metal pressing into your lips.
It wouldn’t be whatever he wants to do, though. All he wants to do is kiss you, right now. Do something to soothe the ache you must be feeling.
“Why are you acting like this?” He asks, watching you as you place another pin in your hair.
You laugh through your nose, a bobby pin still between your lips. You put it in your hair before answering.
“Like what?” You look at him while you put your seatbelt on.
“Like this doesn't bother you. You don't have to put up a front, you know? I'm not gonna laugh at you."
The metal clicks, and you fold the sun visor back up. “Because it didn’t bother me. I’m not gonna settle for someone I hate being around."
Part of Satoru wanted this to go well for you. He wanted to see a brilliant smile on your face when you got home. So, the fact that it didn’t end up that way strangely caused some heartache for him.
“Don’t look so down.” You give him a kind smile and pinch his cheek. “I’m okay. Really.”
He tries to distract himself from the warmth that seeps into his cheeks from your quick gesture. “Well, I don’t want to go home. Is that okay, with you?”
“What’s up with you?” You ask, bringing one of your legs up and folding it comfortably on the seat.
“Nothing.”
You stare at him until he breaks out his contagious smile and laugh.
“Really, nothing. I just want to spend some time out tonight. Shoko and Suguru want to stay home and be couch potatoes."
You see your date walking out of the restaurant, phone against his ear. He doesn’t look too defeated, but you don’t want him to see you with Satoru and make any bold assumptions.
“Okay, that’s totally fine, but can we go?” Your leg goes back down, meeting the floor mat and you turn to face the window.
Satoru analyzes your behavior and your expression. Your arms are crossed, you refuse to look in his direction again. It’s weird compared to how you were acting two seconds ago.
“What?” Satoru turns to look at whatever made you shrink, and as soon as he sees him he rolls his window up. “Really?” His eyes are lidded in disappointment. It’s not in you as a person, but in your lack of respect for yourself, choosing someone so far below your league.
“He was nice when I first met him.”
Satoru puts the gear in reverse, backing out of the parking spot. “He looks stupid and on top of that he acts like it, too? God.”
“I know, I know.” You lean against the car door and stare out the window.
“What made you think you deserved him? Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around how low this is for someone like you.”
“I don’t know.”
Your responses to Satoru's interrogation kept getting shorter and shorter and he realized he was beating a horse that was already down.
“You know I care," he mumbles, breaking the heavy silence. “I don’t mean to tell you who to date and who you should be with.”
“I hate this conversation. You’re not my dad, Satoru. It’s fine.” You sit up, back against the seat and face forward. “Where are we, anyway?”
“I just followed a random road to see where it would lead. I don’t wanna go home, but I also don’t want to know where I am.”
“So, we’re lost.” You laugh.
“Hey, as long as we have phones with enough battery, we’re not really lost.”
“Right.” You grin, continuing to watch the road. You look over the steering wheel to see how much gas the car has. It’s two marks below the bold F.
“Can you tell me something?”
You turn to Satoru, giving him your full attention. He’s been more serious than you know him to be since you left the house.
“What’s up?”
“I’m not trying to rehash this father-like conversation, but as one of your best friends… what were you thinking when you accepted a date with this guy?” He glances over at you for a second. “What went through your mind when you said 'yes' to a date with him?”
“Potential love, dates, butterflies. All the stuff that goes into getting to know someone as more than an acquaintance or friend.” You fidget with the extra hair tie on your wrist.
“You want all of that?” He asks, glimpsing at you again.
You nod, silently.
“You’re pretty enough to fuck around with whoever you want, you know? I know some people who wanna do some pretty... vulgar things with you."
Your eyes go wide at how far south the conversation went. You cracked the second you looked at Satoru though. He looked somewhat proud to be friends with someone who could get some anytime.
“That’s… good to know, I guess.” Your mind stumbles over the part where he called you pretty enough.
“You’re not interested in that, though, are you?”
You wince, jokingly. “It’s just not my cup of tea. I want something more long-term.”
Satoru grins, almost like he wants to talk about himself.
“That’s not your cup of tea, is it?” You reciprocate the grin.
“No, no. Believe it or not, the last relationship I was in lasted a whole two months.”
You slapped the car door dramatically. “A whole two months?!”
“Stop it. It’s nothing, really," Satoru jokes, grinning with faux pride.
“Hey, i’m not shaming you. You’re not down with commitment and that’s fine. We're young. There's no need to rush."
“I haven’t found someone I really want to commit to. I'm not stupid enough to ignore the fact that people are really only attracted to my body. They can't stand when I open my mouth, so I figured it’s better to fuck around than to put my heart into something that won’t last without sex.”
Satoru's personality was for people with acquired taste. On the other hand, Satoru's physical appearance was for anyone and everyone. The people who could appreciate all of him would be in for the most amazing ride, because even as his friend, you could confidently say that there is no one like him anywhere in the world. You can only hum in acknowledgement of how romantically lonely he must feel.
“What?” You ask when the car stops. Satoru puts the car in park before turning it off. “We’re not out of gas, so what’s the problem?”
He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to face you, one leg bent on the seat. He’s met with a breathtaking sight. You look stunning in that navy blue dress, and that shade smeared over your lips was calling his name. He can see part of your thigh from where your dress rides up.
“Can I talk to you about something?” The tension behind the question was enough to make your ears go red.
“Of course you can. You’re scaring me, but go on.”
He smiles, trying to lighten up the mood. He knows better than to just dump information like this on you so heavily, but he can't go home tonight without telling you how he feels. He already doesn’t expect much to come of telling you this, but it's been eating him alive and he can't keep it in anymore.
“You've been on my mind a lot, lately." He sees your slightly furrowed eyebrows. They match the unintentional pout on your lips. You’re confused and for some reason you feel nervous, like your heart might escape your ribcage.
“What does that mean?” You ask, wanting a clearer understanding. He could be worried about you in a totally platonic way. He could be wondering about what you've been up to lately. You're having trouble assuming there's romantic notes to his statement after the brief discussion you just had.
“It's exactly as it sounds. I've been thinking about you." He's not smiling, he's not laughing yet this still sounds like a joke that he’s running to mess with you.
“You done with your jokes? We could both be home right about now," you say, not intending for your words to come out as sharp as they did. His hand is suddenly cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing away a speck of glitter from it.
“You say goodnight to me in the sweetest way—like you won't see me in the morning. And the soft smile you give me before you shut the door... it lingers in my mind. I dream of it from time to time."
You're trying so hard not to lean into his touch and nuzzle your cheek into his palm, but you make no effort to push his hand away. “What are you talking about, Satoru? Don't you think you're reading into it a little too much? I do that for all three of you. Ask Shoko and Suguru.”
His hand has been on your cheek for a while now, and he’s still looking at you like he has things to get off his chest. “I know you don't say it the same way to them as you do to me." He stops, a little sigh leaving him. He’s probably making you dizzy with all of this news, based on the look on your face. He retracts his hand and rests it on his thigh. You look stunned, so he cuts to the chase. “To be even more clear, I don’t see you as a friend. It doesn’t seem right to see you that way when I can picture us doing more. Being more."
“Doing more?” You repeat, cheeks growing warm.
“Holding hands, kissing, being alone together—more.”
The heavy silence returns, both of you nervously avoiding eye contact.
“I..." you huff. "I need some air.” You unbuckle yourself before exiting the car. Your scent remains in the car even after the door shuts behind you, leaving Satoru to wonder if things are screwed with you.
Your back is against the door, your hands interlocked in front of your eyes, shielding you from the gentle moonlight. You groan, irritated by the conflicted thoughts that came with Satoru's revelation.
It’s not long before Satoru comes out and joins you, leaning on the side of his car. It's cold and he doesn't want you to get sick again. His heart could barely handle your involuntarily weak display the first time.
“I didn’t stress you out, did I?” He asks, turning his head to look at you. You shake your head, your hands still covering your eyes. “There’s really no part of you that can envision an us between me and you?”
You chuckle, a sound that makes his heart pang. “It’s funny... you know, a long time ago it was all I dreamed about.”
Now this was baffling news to Satoru. How long ago was a long time ago? A couple months ago? Last year? Three years ago? And why didn’t you say anything?
“I considered you a pursuit that was out of reach. You had—have— all these girls just throwing themselves at you, and I couldn’t be one of them, so I befriended you instead.”
“How long ago was a long time ago?” He asks, nervous to hear the answer.
“Like last year in March. It was during your phase where you would never come home.”
He feels like an asshole. Especially since not too much later, he developed similar feelings for you that he endlessly denied.
“You liked the me you never got to see?”
You both chuckled at the rhyme of his words, your broken senses of humor adding some lightheartedness to the conversation.
“I guess you not coming home was more calming because I didn't have to be nervous to see you.”
You crossed your arms. The cardigan protected you, but not enough. The cold wind was starting to nip at your cheeks. Satoru notices and moves closer to you.
“Let’s go back inside, yeah?”
You didn’t want to. You were nervous being “stranded” with Satoru already, but minimizing the space between you was even more nerve-wracking. He was your greatest temptation before, and you could easily create those labyrinths that guide him into your mind again if you got close enough.
“I’ll be fine," you say, looking straight ahead at the field of weeds in front of you.
“You’re gonna catch a cold. Get in the car," Satoru prompts. He thought back to the tired look on your face as you laid in bed sick, waiting for him to bring you warm soup.
“No," you insisted, turning away from him.
He inched closer, not wanting to look at your back. “Please, get in the car." He thought of the gracious look on your sick face when he brought you another blanket to keep you warm.
“I said no, Satoru. I don't want to get in the car with you."
You were being stubborn as hell, and something about it made Satoru’s blood boil to the point where he did whatever his mind told him to do. You were suddenly pinned to the car, your hands on Satoru’s chest to keep some distance. He blocked every gust of wind that threatened to bite at your skin, and enveloped you in his warmth. You don’t know how, but in this freezing temperature, Satoru’s hands felt like sunlight on your cheeks. His face was centimeters away from yours, his bright eyes searching for a loophole in your feelings for him. Your eyes spoke with an infinite amount of possibility, and some of it didn't make sense, so he kissed you in hopes of translating what you were trying to say.
You didn’t have any fight left in you. Not when you felt so secure in this close proximity. Now, all you wanted was to be in the car with him, alone.
The kiss was released with light breaths from both of you, a look of feeling complete on Satoru’s face. “Will you get in the damn car,” he whispers, his arms caging you against the car.
“Say please," you say in the same intimate volume as him.
“Please," he complies, allowing his eyes to flit between your eyes and your lips.
“Pretty please?" you push.
“Pretty please," he says, the corners of his lips twitching.
“How about pretty please with a cherry on top?”
“Get in the car," he says through a laugh.
You chuckle, shoving him lightly before opening the door and entering the car. Satoru gets in the drivers seat and suddenly it all feels strange. Strange, but in the best way.
The tension from before returns. There's no wind blowing to fill in the silence when you both stop talking.
“Do you ever think of me when you're alone?” It was a weird question to be asked by him, especially since you had already told him that your feelings for him were left behind.
“Never," you reply, a softness in your tone that held memories of when all you thought about was Satoru.
He's somewhat disappointed, seeing as though there's a chance he might be too late.
“Do you think that will change after tonight?” He seems to be getting closer, or at least his hands are. Your skin is irresistible and he wants to feel how soft you are. He's been craving you for so long, and you're right there.
“There’s no way to tell.” You can see how slowly his hand is traveling. A minute ago it was on his lap, now it’s on the armrest between your seats. You can’t wait any longer. The suspense might make you jump out of the car again, so you grab his hand and put it on your thigh, where your dress rides up.
“I’ll throw the question back to you. Do you think of me when you're alone?” You ask him now because he won’t give you some bullshit response at a time like this, when he’s getting everything he’s wanted for who knows how long.
“All the time,” he responds so quickly. “When I wake up, before I go to sleep, in the shower, while I brush my teeth.” There’s this foolish look on his face, like he would give anything to never lose the ability to have you on his mind all the time. "You're in there, organizing the shrine I made for you," he admits, with a grin. His thumb presses into your thigh, massaging the plush skin. It makes you nervous as hell, but you like it.
“Have you told Suguru and Shoko?”
He chuckles, remembering the conversation he had with them after you left. “I’m positive they know."
Once again, you're left staring at each other in silence, drowning in the tension you’ve created within yourselves. Satoru has yet to move his hand away from your thigh, not letting up even when he feels goosebumps spread on your skin. He tests the boundaries you have set up, finding no resistance from you when his hand reaches further up your dress.
“You’re not gonna tell me to stop?” He asks as his fingers are met with lace, a texture that makes his heart thud rapidly in his chest.
You shake your head, leaning back in the seat. His fingers ghost over the front of your panties, finding a satin bow just below the elastic band.
“Were you going to let that guy touch you? Is that why you wore these?” He hasn’t even seen them, and yet he can tell they’re the cutest thing ever.
“Maybe," you mumble, looking away in slight embarrassment.
“Can I see them?” He asks.
You nod, allowing him to slowly pull up your dress. Your heart drops when you hear him gasp.
“God, no way," he says, sounding defeated. His ears slowly turn a bright shade of red as he observes the material covering your intimate area.
“Stop,” you whine, feeling flustered by his reaction and the way he stares.
His hand returns to its previous spot, continuing to play with the part of the elastic that sticks to your hip.
“You wear these types of panties on every date you go on?”
You nod, biting your lip as his fingers move just to feel the fabric. His touch is still ghost-like—light, barely there, but it’s working you up anyway. There’s barely enough friction, yet you can feel your wetness begin to ruin the garment.
He sighs. “You know, no one deserves you.” His tone is smooth and he smiles at you, an angel taking control of his features. “Not even me, but I can make up for the one who missed you tonight.”
He spares his attention to the spot in the middle of your panties, only smiling when a breathy moan involuntarily leaves you.
“God..." you groan in embarrassment, covering your face with your hands. "I can’t with myself."
His thumb rubs up and down your clothed slit, applying pressure when he reaches your clit.
“Don’t be shy. Make as much noise as you want,” he says, luring a gasp from you.
You look away again, red-faced, feeling embarrassed beyond belief.
“What?” A low chuckle follows. His hands settle on your thighs as he leans in and tries to look at your flustered face.
“This is weird.” You look out the window, too nervous to look at Satoru.
“How come?”
You giggle. “I can’t stop seeing you as one of my friends. It’s strange to experience something like this with you.”
“I would hope Suguru and Shoko aren’t touching you like this.” His hand splays on your thigh, kneading softly. “Are they?” He asks, after a pause.
“Of course not.”
He seems satisfied with that response because he’s trying to hold back a smile, but the corners of his lips are twitching. His fingers snap the elastic band of your panties against your skin a couple more times.
“Is it too weird to go on?” He asks.
You consider the facts. He already touched you, he confessed his feelings for you before he touched you so you know he wasn't lying about his feelings for you and he doesn’t just want sex. You had those feelings for him before, but claimed to have lost them with time.
Your overwhelming thoughts are enough to put an end to what was going on. You pull down your dress, hiding the evidence of his touch, and sit up straight in the seat. “Maybe we should head home before we do something we might regret later.”
He hums and smiles, not an ounce of disappointment in his features. “No argument from me."
Satoru put his seatbelt on and watched as you did the same before starting the car. There was no need for him to set up the GPS because all he did was drive straight, so all he had to do was drive back the other way.
You didn’t expect the car ride to be so quiet. Maybe he did want things to go further. You couldn’t bear to look back at Satoru, even though you could feel him side eyeing you as he drove. There were a couple times where he turned his head to look at you when you stopped at red lights, but you knew you couldn’t look back until you had something to say. You were overthinking everything that happened until that point. What can you say when you just went through an entire roller coaster of emotions with someone you call a best friend? Someone who has now seen you in a vulnerable position.
“Did you at least eat?” Satoru asks, finally breaking the heavy silence that engulfed the car.
“Uh, yeah. I was able to get through my meal," you respond, glancing at him quickly before turning back to face the window.
He nods in acknowledgement. You see the stop sign at the end of your street, signaling the closeness of home.
Satoru parks the car in the driveway, and you finish removing your shoes. You enter the house, expecting to see Suguru and Shoko up waiting for you guys, but to your surprise, the doors to their bedrooms are shut.
“Goodnight, Satoru," you say. “Thanks again, for picking me up.”
“Yeah, no worries,” he responds. “Goodnight.”
You can’t shake the void left in your gut after your time with Satoru. You sit on your bed for a moment thinking of the intimacy that occurred between you and him. The gentleness of his touch, the lack of judgement from him when you basically told him that you dress your best even for scumbags. Something inside you was begging you to tell him how much you wanted him to sleep in your room—in your bed. And that’s exactly what you aimed for with this rush of adrenaline that surged through you. You rose off the bed quickly, and made haste to reach his bedroom.
You knocked, calling his name once. Once was all it took for him to leap to open the door.
“Can you help me with something?” You asked, hoping he held no ill will towards you and that he wouldn’t deny you.
“Sure. With what?”
You motion for him to follow you to your room, and he does with no further questions, following your bare feet as you lead him to your room.
“I tied the knot for my dress a little too tightly." You let out a quiet chuckle, your nervousness imbued into it.
“Oh, I see," he says, stifling a grin. "Turn around.” His finger circles in the air.
You turn your back to him, facing the mirror on your vanity. You can feel his knuckles grazing your lower back as he takes the time to slowly loosen the knot, the straps that once sat wrapped around your waist dropping loosely.
“There,” he murmurs, still standing behind you, looking at you through the mirror.
“Thank you,” you say so quietly that it’s almost a whisper.
Normally, that is the cue for someone to leave, but there was this branch of electricity connecting him to you. He couldn’t find a reason to step away from you, so instead he stepped closer. His arms encircled your waist, his hands interlocking above your lower abdomen. Your stomach swarmed with butterflies—blood thirsty ones that knew all too well that they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, so long as Satoru was in your room.
He leaned in to kiss your shoulder, an act that brought goosebumps to your skin. "You look really pretty." You give in to the feeling, tilting your head to give him the entire canvas of that side of your neck. He wondered if you would be upset if you saw his kisses on your neck in the morning.
He stops and looks for your approval first because he has arrived centimeters behind the line between friends who are really comfortable with each other and something deeper. You have to let him know that it’s okay to cross this line.
“It’s okay,” you say, squeezing the hands that rest on your lower abdomen. “Don't stop."
That’s the green light he needed in order to move on. He did not hesitate at all in pulling back his arms and undoing the knot that held your dress up. He watched as the smooth velvet cascaded down your body, pooling at your feet, leaving you in nothing but those precious lace panties. You felt vulnerable with your bare chest out, but made no attempt to hide yourself.
He was frozen for a second or two, speechless at the sight before him.
“No one deserves you,” he finally says, his arms snaking around your torso. His lips start leaving behind their marks on the other side of your neck. He drags his kisses down your shoulder, biting once, then twice, resulting in a couple giggles from you.
“Close the door, please,” you say, realizing Shoko and Suguru would see what was happening if they opened their doors.
Satoru releases you only to close the door, locking it for safe measures. As soon as he’s back, he’s wrapping his arms around you before pushing both of you towards your bed. He starts stripping his clothes off, until he's left in just his boxers. His eyes never leave yours, a lovestruck smile on his face.
“You will never know how many times I’ve dreamt of this scenario."
“Stop.” You giggle, withstanding the sting of his lips on more than you neck. It’s heat on your chest and on your stomach now, his hands holding your waist so gently. You’ll look like some abstract piece of art by morning with the endless waves of kisses that Satoru gives you. He wants you so badly. Devastatingly so. He wants to prove that he is the closest to deserving you by the end of the night.
Your heartbeat is inconsolable in your ribcage. The eye contact brought some reality to the situation. He chuckles at the doe-eyed look on your face before refocusing on his task. He's nearing the elastic band of your underwear, those cute lacy ones he got to touch in the car. His touch is already affecting you, the evidence being a wet spot reemerging in the middle of your underwear.
"You're so warm and soft, and..." he sighs, your body making his mind cloud. He couldn't have ever accurately imagined how stunning you would be with just the golden street lamp's light shining through your window. "...you smell really fucking good." His hands go beneath the elastic band of your underwear, dragging his dainty fingers through your slit enough times to earn a small gasp from you, before pulling his hand out. "Bet you taste amazing, too," he says, wrapping his lips around his glossy digits. "Mhm..." he practically moans when your taste coats his tastebuds. "Sweeter than I could have ever imagined."
You don't think you'll get over Satoru saying these explicit things to you.
"More. Fuck, I need more." There's so much he wants to do to you, so little time in the night despite it only being 11:30. "God, you're so..." he cuts himself off and kisses down your stomach, impatiently—desperately. "...so pretty. So—fuck— so pretty. Gonna make you feel so good."
"Okay, 'toru, make sure to breathe," you tease, running your fingers through his soft locks as he nears your throbbing core.
He drags his nose up and down the wet patch of your panties, audibly inhaling your scent and exhaling through shuddered breaths. He sounds feral, his aching cock creating its own pool of arousal in his boxers. The tip of his nose was covered in your slick, the remnants of you on his skin driving him absolutely crazy. Once he absolutely couldn't take it anymore, he yanked your underwear down, almost tearing the pretty fabric and tossed it onto the floor. You were soaked at the sight of his pure lust towards you. Those eyes were darker than you've ever seen them before.
He tries to be slow and gentle for you. You're the one thing he's wanted for the longest time and now he has you. You're not guaranteed to be his forever, after this, but at least the night is secured and he has this one chance to prove that he would do it right with you. That he could handle your body with a tenderness and loving that would make you weep. Everything you want in a lover will be given to you in one act of demonstrating how undeniably in love with you he is.
His attempt at slow sensuality never reaches you. His arms are hooked tightly around your thighs to prevent you from squirming away from his greedy mouth. He wants everything you give him to never end. The melodic sound of you moaning his name, the sweet nectar that just keeps drooling out of your cunt, the sting on his scalp from the firm hold you have on his hair and the tugging. He's in heaven. If the possibility of this reoccurring is nonexistent, he wants this moment to loop. For there to be a glitch in real life that allows him to replay this scenario as many times as he likes, like a story with multiple endings.
"You taste so good. So fucking good, princess. Wanna give you a taste," he rambles. He unwraps his right arm from your thigh and uses his forearm to pin it down so that he can use his fingers on you. He bends all his fingers down except for his index and middle fingers. Your slick is already streaming out of you, ready to be collected, but he can't resist the urge to dip his fingertips into your pulsing hole. "Oh fuck, you're so wet," he utters in awe, quickly tossing the idea of just his fingertips going in when his long, lithe fingers sink into you with ease.
"Satoru," you choke out, a sharp gasp following. The pads of his fingers brush against that spot within you that forces you to bite your lip. Your heart is racing. What if you get caught? How would you explain what's going on to your friends and would the dynamic of your living situation change because of it? You care, but clearly not enough to second guess this moment again, like you did in the car.
"Mmm..." he moans against your clit, his lips smacking after releasing the now throbbing bundle. "So sweet." He pulls his fingers out of you and admires the glaze that drips down to his knuckles. He wants to be selfish and put them in his mouth, but his need for you to know how good you are to his tastebuds overpowers those thoughts. "Open, pretty," he says, tapping his wet fingers against your lips. He watches with parted lips as you take his slick coated digits into your mouth, shutting your lips around them to completely suck off your essence. "Good, huh?" A pleased grin appears when you nod. "Yeah... I want it back." He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and puts them on your right breast, smearing your saliva all over your nipple until it pebbles.
All you can do is say "huh?" before your lips are enveloped by his. The kiss starts out slow— he's taking a moment to appreciate how perfect your lips feel against his. For a minute you can feel the way he innocently wants you. You have butterflies in your stomach all over again.
His hunger for you grows with every sharp breath you release and the squirming beneath his unrelenting hands on your chest. Your heart has been pounding in your ears since he slipped his tongue into your mouth and you have goosebumps from all the rubbing, brushing, and tweaking he offers your nipples, the throbbing in your cunt only intensifying as you withstand it. He thinks the whimpers that seep into your kisses are the cutest sounds ever and he doesn't want them to stop, so he glides a hand down your abdomen and gives you the touch you're missing.
You break the kiss, throwing your head back into the pillow at the feeling of Satoru rubbing your clit. He watches through gleaming eyes the way your jaw hangs and allows the sweetest moans to spill from your kissed up lips.
"Feeling good?" He asks, grinning when you respond with a moan that makes you clasp a hand over your mouth. "Yeah? That's an answer, too." He chuckles, watching intently as you crumble beneath his touch, not some zero's who made a fool out of himself.
You uncover your mouth, your sounds amplifying and flowing freely. "Satoru," you gasp. "Oh, fuck– S-Satoru!" The last words you manage to cry out before you cum without a warning.
You look way too pretty arching your back off the bed and chasing friction from his hand. Your neck looks palpable like that, exposed for him like you want him to mark it up and take a few bites.
"Let me make you feel good, pretty girl," he coos, drunk off the cute sounds of the heaves and sobs that wrack through your chest, your little whines shining through them. Lustful, lidded eyes watch as you try to wriggle away from his touch.
"P-Please," you huff out, your trembling thighs working to shut around his hand. It's too much, your peak has passed and now you're left to bear the overwhelming feeling of his unstopping fingers.
"I know, I know. It's terrible..." he murmurs. His tip is leaking so much at the sight of your body jerking and your eyes welling with tears. He really loves the way you've surrendered yourself to him. "You're so pretty." He sighs, dreamily. He stops and wiggles his hand out of the tight embrace of your thighs. You take a deep breath and blink away tears, focusing on the comforting movement of his hands caressing your thighs. He can see the way you look at his body. His chest, the sculpted muscles of his abdomen, the pale happy trail that leads to a part of him that you are unfamiliar with.
He crawls over you, his lower body wedged between your legs. "Don't be scared to touch," he says, his tone sultry. He grabs ahold of your hand and places it on his chest, initiating the contact for you. You take control and allow your hands to roam his body. Like you're in a room full of random unpressed buttons, you explore the different reactions you get from touching different parts of him. You discovered that his nipples are sensitive. He groaned into your neck when you palmed at his pecs and borderline whimpered when you focused your touch on his peaks. He shuddered when you traced along his ribs, but once you neared his stomach and waist, things got hot for you all over again. Your heart raced as he breathed into your neck due to the feeling of your nails gently scratching along his abs. He was rutting his clothed bulge against your cunt, desperate, low moans leaving him with every graze of your nails along his waist.
"F-Fuck, I can't wait anymore. Please, let me in." He whips out the cutest puppy eyes you've ever seen, and though they're unnecessary, you're not opposed to him having to resort to those means.
"Y-Yeah, okay," you breathe, feeling the throbbing in your cunt intensify when he stopped rolling his hips against you.
He's rushing, his movement stuttered and his hands shaking with desperation as he works his boxers off. He's impressed with the amount of precum that went into them, but he doesn't waste time admiring the mess any longer once he frees his achingly hard, drooling cock. It's sensitive to the touch. He'll cum if he doesn't play his cards right while lathering his length with the essence that beads at his tip. With that taken care of, he comes close to you again.
"This is gonna be the slowest start ever," he says under his breath, eyeing that sweet little smile on your face, like you understand the turmoil he's going through with just trying to get inside you. His tip nudges your clit, spreading some of his precum onto the nub as he guides it up and down your slit a couple times. He's working himself up to sinking in because he knows how wet you are. After a few more strokes, he presses just the tip in, nestling it into your warmth with a groan. You gasp as he slowly drives himself into you, the stretch his girth induces proving to be immense. He tries to steady his stuttering hips as he pushes more of his length in.
"Little more, just a liiittle more," he says through soft breaths, more to himself than you. Once he glides the rest of his length in, he feels like he's going to explode. He's throbbing so hard and you're not helping at all with the brief, inconsistent spasming of your walls. "Oh fuck... shit," he whimpers, thrusting only halfway into you. "Sorry—fuck—s-sorry... I can't-" He gasps when he thrusts the rest of the way in, spewing his load as he just grinds against you.
Your eyes widen as you watch him, his eyes shut tightly, his jaw hanging ajar to release shaky breaths. His cheeks, neck and chest are blazed, bright color smothered over his pale skin.
"Shit..." he rasps, still taking deep breaths.
You can't even ridicule him for this when he looks so fine. The laugh he let out was enough to make your thighs twitch.
"It's alright, Satoru. It's getting pretty late, anyway."
"No-the-fuck it's not," he says, looking down at you with the smallest crease between his brows. He's wanted this—wanted you—for way too long and he can't leave your room without showing you just how badly he desires you. It's a need, at this point.
A chill runs down your spine and your heart drops at his response.
"I mean, i'm not tired. Are you?" He asks, softening a little after coming in so hot with his last response.
You're not and even if you were, it's those eyes... They compel you to want to do things for his sake. They're so soft and you feel wanted beneath their force. You feel everything he said to you in the car when you peer into his eyes.
"No. I'm not tired either," you respond, which instantly puts a smile on his face.
"Good. Let me try again."
Neither of you mentioned any of what happened within that quick span of time. No mentions of him spilling the second he got inside you or you trying to end the night to save him the embarrassment, and it turned out for the better. No awkwardness once he recovered and went back to proving his love for you. He went straight into it, thrusting at a slow pace to start you off. He held onto your hips as he leaned in and kissed all over your chest, sucking your delicate skin to leave little reminders of him for you to see in the morning.
He groans, muffled by your warm skin, when you scratch the back of his head, guiding your nails through the short hairs of his undercut and down the nape of his neck. He's purring like a satisfied cat, the soft breaths he lets out through his nose grazing your neck.
With all these good feelings comes Satoru picking up the pace. His hips meet yours a little more quickly and suddenly both of you get a little more courage to make more sound.
"Fuck," you whimper. "Satoru... S-Satoru..."
"I know..." he grunts. "I know, baby. I feel really good, too."
You just look so damn pretty, with your starry eyes and your messy hair, and the way you keep moaning his name. He has to kiss you again. Each time he kissed you before was accompanied by fireworks. This time... who knows? He certainly won't unless he gains the courage to do it once more.
He leans forward and stares deep into your eyes. The level of intimacy has doubled down and you feel like your heart is trying even harder to lurch out of your chest. He's not stopping, you can feel his breath on your lips as he pants through the exertion of his hips. Then, once again, with a whimper as he closes the distance between your mouths, he kisses you. It's not fireworks this time, it's an entire fire and you kissing him back like you need him just as much is fanning the wild flames.
"Love... you," he disperses the words through his kisses. He doesn't only say it once. He says it multiple times as your lips are moving, making those pauses purposeful. "Fuck– I love you," he repeats, breaking the kiss when you don't say anything. "Come on," he chuckles. "Say it back."
"Satoru..." you say, softly.
"You say it all the time to us. What's another time?"
You bite back a laugh when you see those brilliant eyes again. He knows the effect they have on people and uses them to his advantage.
"It doesn't..." he groans, cursing under his breath when you suddenly clench around him. "...have to mean anything more than it usually does."
You're hesitant, but figure that as long as he doesn't take it as more than what he's used to—at least until things are talked through—there can't be any harm in saying what he wants to hear.
"Love you, 'toru."
The words are way too sweet, too gentle on his ears. The smile you offered as you delivered those words was devastatingly beautiful. You've said this a million times, each time so friendly, so lovingly, the meaning never feigned or faded with its repetition, but in that moment, he felt the words more than he ever did before. Your plush thighs are pressed against his hips, your hands are on his chest, and he can still smell that perfume you spritzed on your skin before you left. He's never heard you like this before, so sultry that it almost seems like an invasion of privacy.
"Again... say it again, p-please." With the scene that is playing out before his very eyes, he wants to imagine you meaning it as a term for lovers.
"I-I..." you let out a sharp gasp, your words cut off by the feeling of his cock brushing against that weak spot within you. "I love y-you, Satoru."
You're saying it to him only, right now. It's not 'I love you guys', it's 'I love you, Satoru', and he's drowning in it all. Your voice, the words, the blissed out look on your face. He's weak.
"Yeah?" He laughs, sounding almost delirious from how good he feels and how he's trying so hard not to cum.
"Mhm," you respond.
"T-That's good to know," he says, breathily. He's picking up the pace again, almost knocking the wind out of you with that first thrust in the change of pace. You're scratching up his back, wrapping your legs around his waist while he moans into the crook of your neck.
"G-Gonna cum, gonna fucking cum, again."
"Please... cum inside," you babble, nonsensically.
"Yeah? You want it inside again?" He asks, grinning when you hum and nod in confirmation. Who is he to deny you of such a simple want?
With a few more harder thrusts, he's filling you to the brim again with his warm cum. He's breathing heavily into your neck, mouthing at your skin sloppily as your cunt flutters around him. He's babbling on and on asking you if you came and if you feel good, while you're trying not to cry out too loudly from how hard you did. It's only until he unsticks himself from your tacky skin that he sees the aftermath of your orgasm. Your lidded eyes, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the sound of your shuddered breaths brushing past your lips. He's thinking about it again. No one deserves you, but clearly, he was the closest.
He tosses himself beside you once you both come down. Your blanket is shared between the two of you, it reaches just above your chest and above Satoru's hips.
He sighs as he turns over to face you as you stare up at the ceiling. "You think they heard us?" He asks, voice low and intimate, yet a mischievous smirk that tells you he wouldn't care if they did, plays on his lips.
"Not sure. I guess we'll find out tomorrow." Now it's your turn to sigh. You don't even want to think about how weird breakfast might be in the morning.
"Hey," he calls for your attention. You turn onto your side to face him, keeping the blanket close to your body. "It's gonna be fine. What's the worst that could happen? They tease us or call us dumb?" You give him a soft smile. Normally, you're the one calling him dumb while the others agree. "Don't know about you, but I don't mind. They don't know the story, anyway. Right?"
"Right."
Time slowed down in that moment. You both just stared at each other in silence, thinking about what just happened. You were comfortable together, lying there, satisfied with your decisions. He pulled you closer by your blanket covered waist and pressed kisses into your cheek, enough to make you giggle until you started returning the kisses. To anybody, this would be considered a sight of two lovers taking care of each other after a night of intimacy. The whispered words, the quiet laughter between kisses, the gentle drags of fingers on harsh marks—it all points to love. You think things might be okay, after all.
It took a while for you and Satoru to untangle yourselves from each other. Eventually, he got up and dressed into everything but his messy boxers. You weren't going to get back into your dress so you laid back for a while and watched as he collected himself.
"Well... I'll see you in the morning." His hand is on the doorknob and he's looking at you, shamelessly raking his eyes over your body as if he's trying to memorize you all over again within the short span of his goodnight to you.
"Mhm. Goodnight."
He pulls the door open, still not detaching his gaze from you. "Goodnight," he says, his voice low, yet warm and brimming with love. He spares one more soft smile for you, before walking out and clicking the door shut behind him.
You think you finally understand why he's so hung up on the way you say goodnight.
#gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo fic#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fic#jjk fluff#jjk scenarios
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played a very brief session of pq tonight (90 minutes) 👍
#lizz.txt#i dont got nothing to say for this i did some quests + some strolls. mostly posting so i remember whens the last time played the game LOL#the stroll of akihiko and mitsuru theorizing and thinking about teddie and his costume was very amusing to me#i want to play so many persona games right now...#working through pq because i love novelty!!!! and ofc as mentioned b4 i do want to replay fes... I NEED TO SEE MINATO'S ROOM!!!#minato room.png is not enough i need to be moving my left sticka round and running around in circles and breathe in every bit of port islan#and (sighs) i also have. kind of wanted to revisit royal. it's been nearly three years since i played it#and i think i've become much more attentive to details and writing since then and im curious what things i would have missed#but also i just really miss mawuki. i really like him a lot#i would say that i want to play p4g but a part of me is like 'i don't think my brain can handle the yosk' (HES TOO POWERFUL FOR ME)#im hardly acquainted with golden's specific mechanics and weather system im not gonna consider playing it until i finish pq lol#or i'll consider it when i really feel the need to poke around yosk's brain... yeah ive watched my friend play it but!!!#i enjoy letting games sink in (i need to spend several minutes deconstructing one line and i like pressing the a button when im ready)#anyway GOOD NIGHT i hope you all have an excellent day#i've missed persona a lot lately ohhh. i dont really know what to draw 4 it rn but i do know i wanna consume the media LOL
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THE COMMISSION | SEVIKA X READER | ARCANE
'The Commission' series: pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt.4, epilogue.
Synopsis: You've been her personal mechanic for two years, but your growing reputation in the field has earned you dozens of clients and commissions. Sevika was looking for something fresh, durable and of good quality, and when it came to her sexual appetite, she only accepted the best. So she turned to you for a special commission.
Contains: arcane!sevika, feminine reader, lesbians, lots of dialogues, arcane universe, cannon sevika, mechanic!reader, wlw, slow burn baby 💋, several parts btw
Word count: 1,862
Note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake in my writing. Enjoy!
Sevika recognized your skills and abilities, you were an intelligent and astute bastard in an environment that being pretty was related to being naive. You knew how to use your looks to your advantage and enchant people with your words, your charisma and your talent. What was your talent? The mechanics, specifically the mechanics with Shimmer. You knew how to use the drug to your advantage, manufacture the best pieces by combining the quality of your products with the functional guarantee of shimmer. You managed to earn loyal customers who were looking for high quality prostheses, weapons and even… other types of products. You were a versatile inventor and Zaunites appreciated it. You came to the Last Drop for that particular reason that night, Sevika had summoned you for a check of her mechanical arm and a certainly special commission. You pushed your way through the crowd, the smell of alcohol and Shimmer in the air, and looked for the tall woman. You spotted her at the back, sitting with three other individuals, gambling with a cigarette between her lips and a confident smile curving them.
"Good night, Sev." You greeted, to which the woman put her attention on you, exhaling the smoke from her cigarette.
"Well, well, well... You're earlier than usual." She replied, gesturing you over. "Come; I have something to discuss with you."
Sevika shooed her gambling companions, her attention focused on you and on that brown overall that you wore at every maintenance meeting. You used to unbutton the top, revealing your arms and torso in a tank top and accentuating your waist. Certainly the fact that you were sweet to Sevika's eyes made the meetings with you more pleasant.
Sevika poured you a glass of whiskey. "Two ice cubes, and with a little soda, as you like." Said the woman, having learned your preferences after two years working for her. You put the toolbox on the table, the exclusive place where you were gave you some privacy and calm to work.
"I see that you remember my whims." You smiled, sitting down.
She pushed the glass towards you, watching you sit down. "Of course I do - I pay attention to detail." Her eyes scanned your attire, taking a quick drag of her cigarette. "You look good, as usual."
"I won't discount for flirting." You teased, leaning back against the cushions with a smug smile.
"It wasn't a flirt." She replied, a smirk playing on her lips. "I'm simply making an observation."
"You either flirt or fight, don't fuck with me." You smiled, sipping your glass. "The arm's acting up again?" You asked, aiming at her mechanical left arm.
"Yeah, it's been giving me a pain in the ass." She replied, rolling her left shoulder. "Not acting like it should; slower than usual."
"Mhm, tell me more." You asked, already putting the glass down to lean and start observing the prosthetic arm.
"It's been slower to respond to movements - and the strength has been weakened. It's also... overheating a little more often than usual."
'Overheating? It must be time for a thermal paste change." You assured, taking a screwdriver to start disarming the arm. "How's the shimmer working?"
Sevika rested her arm on the tabletop for you as you got to work.
"Shimmer supply is fine - no change there." She replied. There was a noticeable difference in the movement of her arm compared to the last checkup. "But I've been feeling a little... on edge lately. Shimmer usually doesn't affect me much with its side-effects... but..."
"Mhm?"
"I've been more irritable, frustrated." She replied, watching you closely. "It's like some kind of... primal urge of something."
"Huh. You sure it's the shimmer's fault?" You asked, you couldn't contain a smile. "Or maybe you need to visit the brothel more often."
"Trust me, I've been to the Pleasure House plenty of times." She responded playfully. "But you know damn well it's not the same thing."
"Huh, really? I thought you had your fair share of girls that could satisfy you."
It was no secret that Sevika was a regular customer in the red light district of Zaun, quite mentioned in the conversations among the people for being a fairly skilled woman in bed. Much more was said about Sevika than her lethality and character, her stamina in sex was mentioned, her fondness for the most vocal women, without preference between slim and chubby, but always testing the resistance of her bed partners. She's tireless said the hookers who had provided their services to her. And with the sexual appetite of a person like Sevika, the task of satisfying her was arduous.
"Oh trust me - they satisfy me, alright." She replied, her voice huskier. "But that's not what I need." She exhaled another plume of smoke. "I need to dominate someone."
"Geez." You stopped working on her arm, you rose your brows. "Getting honest, are we?"
"Only with you." Sevika replied, keeping her eyes on you. "You're one of the few people in Zaun I tolerate."
"Well, I don't think the arm has anything to do with your... sexual frustrations." You stated. "Actually, as soon as I change the thermal paste and grease the joints, your arm will work as usual."
You worked carefully on her arm, noticing the slight tremor in Sevika's right hand.
"I think you're overdoing Shimmer again." You said, unscrewing the last part to unclasp the prosthetic arm and pull it off. You laid it carefully on the table, continuing with your work. Sevika didn't complain, she trusted you enough to end up armless before you.
"That's rich coming from you. You probably have shimmer running through your veins right now."
"Huh." You smirked. "Too much work, too little energy." You excused yourself.
"I guess I can forgive you this time." She responded, watching you work with her prosthetic. "Besides, I need you to focus. I have a commission for you."
"A commission?" Your ears perked up, taking a sip of your drink. "Alright, I'm listening."
"I need you to make me something... special." She said, her voice low and huskier. "Do you think you can manage that?"
You scoffed. "What, a pipe?" You teased, but Sevika's answer dropped your jaw.
"A strap." She replied, her eyes slowly roaming over you. "Can you make one?"
You rose your eyebrows, certainly it wasn't the first strap-on you would make but it would be the first for Sevika. Many inhabitants of Zaun asked for prostheses or toys, you were a good manufacturer and your talent with the shimmer made your pieces reliable and high quality, but you certainly did not expect this type of request from Sevika.
You swallowed. "Sure, sure. I can." You said, your gaze fixed on the prosthetic arm.
"Good." She leaned back in her chair, taking another drag of her cigarette before continuing. "There are a few... specifications I want for it."
"I'm listening." you mumbled, annoyed with the way your cheeks blushed.
"7.5 inches, and it must have ridges along the shaft." She said, casually taking a drag of her cigarette. "Textured veins are preferable. Will you need a cast for that? I have a..." She shifted, pulling out a small pouch filled with coins - a small 'advance payment' for your services.
"A cast?" You asked. Your eyes were exorbitant before the coins that protruded from the bag, it was a good pay. Sevika never asked for discounts for your work, she knew it was worth every penny. "I mean, I don't really know any man I can use for a cast." You said sheepishly.
"You know you can get any Zaunite with a coin here." She teased. "Find a willing candidate - I'm sure it won't be too hard."
You were flabbergasted. "Are you suggesting me to hire someone to take a cast of his cock?" You asked with a subtle blush on your cheeks.
"I'm not suggesting, I'm telling you to." She replied, taking another drag of her cigarette. "This is a commission, and I'm paying you generously for it. You'll find a taker - I know you're a sweet talker when you need to be."
"I can't believe this." You sighed sharply.
"Oh, c'mon, you'll manage." She teased. "Just do what you do best. Seduce."
"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, can I take a cast of your cock? It's for a commission of mine'."
Sevika laughed heartily, enjoying this way more than she'd care to admit. "That pretty much sums it up, yeah." She replied. "I'm assuming most men won't say no, at least not with a pretty face like that."
"Huh. I think you're observant enough." You couldn't refuse an order to a customer as loyal as Sevika, it was a good pay. You just had to gather courage and find a candidate to take the mold, there would certainly be no shortage of suitors. The only problem is how they would take the offer, they would probably try to take advantage of you. You frowned, tensing at the idea of dealing with horny swines.
Sevika observed your frown, noticing the tension in your shoulders. She leaned forward, catching your gaze.
"Relax." She said firmly. "I'll be there with you. If anyone decides to be... insistent, I'll put them in their place."
Your shoulders relaxed. You trusted her, more than people believed. And you knew that Sevika would protect your integrity throughout the process, since she was a woman who kept her word, and her sense of protectiveness was simply unmatched.
"I'll take the measurements of your hip and crotch then." You finally said, looking for a measuring tape in the toolbox.
Sevika smiled pleased as she stood up from her seat. You knelt in front of her, unrolling the measuring tape to take the hip and crotch measurements. As you moved around, your hands touched her thigh, and your face came a few inches from her crotch.
"Lift your hips slightly." You said, trying to remain professional.
She lifted her hips slightly, watching you closely. "This good?" She asked, her voice betraying no hint of emotion.
"Yeah." You nodded. "Poor women that will have to keep up with you on a strap." You mumbled.
"Oh, the ladies will be fine." She retorted, a smirk on her face. "They'll enjoy it, if they know what's good for them."
"I don't wanna hear any details, thank you."
"Fine, we'll move on." She agreed, her eyes still fixed on you. "You're too focused on the details. I'll handle finding the... talent for the cast then."
"Fine." You finished taking the measurements, standing up. The size difference when you looked up at Sevika was... intimidating to say the least.
"You're too short." she teased.
"You're too tall." you said back, picking up your toolbox.
Sevika smiled, knowing it was time for you to go and time for her to resume her gambling session. "Tanner will walk you out." She said. "Make sure she gets home safe." She ordered.
You followed Tanner out the door, glancing at Sevika who was leaning against the table and crossing her arms with a smile on her lips. "Take your time, doll, I trust your work."
To be continued...
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