#so yeah i am in limbo of where the funds for supporting myself are supposed to come from | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mutantenfisch · 26 days ago

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Once again stuck in the loop of being stressed out about bureaucratic things that in theory should not the biggest of deals but having my brain running in panic mode because 'what if i do something wrong/piss someone off' and then not being able to do anything due to this weird kind of paralysis and now the not-so-huge bureaucratic thing has become Even Bigger And Scarier *and* other people are involved and my perceived shame and guilt over not being a functioning adult at least one fucking time in my life has made it Even Worse.

#venting #i've been asking for help in so many places #from my mum to official state agencies #but there's only so much my mum can do and being told time and time again that i'm 'not eligible' or 'we don't have time for you'#really does wonders to already brittle self-esteem and barely treated burn-out/depression #i'm having a hard time rn #srsly going to school full-time meaning 36 hours a week and writing a test two or three times a week is the least stressful part of my life #so yeah i am in limbo of where the funds for supporting myself are supposed to come from #have unintentionally ghosted my boss which i KNOW is hugely unfair because he's genuinely such a good guy #to be deleted

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