#so yeah hanna literally put himself in some shit

[trion-revolutionary]

Broken Bat, page 121

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[graceslavenderhaze]

dance denial {connor stevens}

you have a flirty and playful relationship, when the week of the glow dance rolls around she gets the courage to ask him but is sidelined by a supernatural disturbance.

also the gif belongs the @lovethephantoms idk why it doesn’t say it doesn’t have their handle under this. ( if they see this, omg hi i love you.)

requested fem!reader but it's not a main focus of the imagine.

trigger warnings: talks of bad crushes and boyfriends but nothing explicit, cursing ( not safe for Ramadan.)

It took a lot for you to come to terms with your feelings about Connor. You knew you had feelings for him, you just hadn't decided if those feelings were positive or negative in the long term. Your friends were tired of you dancing around your feelings, they just wanted you both to be happy. They didn't care if that meant you two dating or just having a friendship with flirtatious tension.

You had made up your mind on asking him to the dance on Monday night. After having a two hour long facetime with Gabby and Hanna they'd convinced you their was literally no reason as to why he would say no. So when Tuesday morning rolled around you were dead set on asking him. But he wasn't there. Then possibly one of the weirdest and scariest weeks of your life started taking place, so asking Connor to the dance was sidelined ultimately.

Then everything was reset. The shadowman was gone. Connor was back, and it was Friday night again. You had another opportunity to ask him but pushed it away. You'd already asked him, or his possessed state? It wasn't worth the possible humiliation.

"He rejected me once, I can't deal with that confrontation again." You said to Hanna as you got ready together. Gabby on facetime getting ready with you guys in spirit but her mom promised her she could drive so she opted to get ready at home. "Ok in the past twenty four you've battled a shadow demon." Gabby said as she stopped applying her highlighter to give you a dead stare over the phone for dramatic flare before continuing. " You can ask him to the glow dance."

"Seriously, you saved his life. He owes you a dance date at least." Hanna said as she began doing her hair. You shook your head, "He doesn't owe me anything. I would've done it for any of you." You said as you applied eyeliner.

"Yeah but for Connor just a smidge more." Gabby giggled over the phone, you rolled your eyes. "It's okay, you have a crush." Hanna said turning her attention to you, "Not the end of the world, literally everyone on the face of the earth has had them."

"It's not a crush!" You exclaimed, you hadn't had the best track record with crushes. Therefore you refused to even put Connor in that category. It seemed like every time you'd get close to someone, they'd hurt you and leave. You didn't want that with Connor. Even if you denied your own feelings, your walls were so high that you didn't notice them start to crack and grow flowers around your best friend.

"Is this about hewhoshallnotbenamed?" Gabby didn't have to ask that, it was a dead give away. Your ex had hurt you really bad. He was the first boy you dated in freshman year and slowly but surely he broke your heart with a sledge hammer.

"We all know my track record is shit, Connors just." You didn't even know how to explain it. "I chase people away. I don't know if feelings are worth losing him." You'd put your eyeliner down at this point. "Fuck that!" Gabby said before covering her mouth and checking to see if her mom was home yet. "Sorry but, you almost lost him this week isn't that more the reason to tell him?"

"When I first showed up in the dark the first thing he asked about was if you were okay." Hanna added, "If he didn't like you why would he have gone through such lengths to protect you this whole time?" It was true, since he got out of the light house he hadn't taken his sight off of you or let you get out of arms reach. Was the only thing stopping you, your own paranoia?

You'd finished getting ready with Hanna about half an hour ago. She went home so her moms could take pictures before she showed up at the dance and Gabby hung up not so much before hand. You stayed cleaning in your room so when you got home it wasn't a total disaster.

Your parents weren't back from work yet so you were enjoying blasting your music before going to the generic recycled playlists the school constantly played at the dances. Then your doorbell being rung distracted you. "Got it!" You yelled rushing towards the door incase it was a mail carrier or something like that.

Opening the door you saw Connor, his usual dark and distressed clothing tossed aside wearing something more fitting for the glow dance. "Hey!" He said walking in as you closed the door behind him. "Hey, I thought we were all meeting at the dance?" You asked, it had been mutually decided in the group chat. After Gabby's mom agreed she could drive there, Hanna's moms wanted pictures, and other personal conflicts that had presented that meeting up individually would be the best idea.

"We still are, I just thought that I should pick you up." He said as the two of you made your way back to your bedroom. "Why would you pick me up?" You asked as continued to clean your room while Connor jumped onto your bed. "Cause we're us, y'know." He said taking sudden interests in your squishmallows.

You stopped in your tracks. If there was a nobel peace prize or some societal outstanding award for stubbornness, you win beating every nomee in a landslide. "There isn't an us, there just is just our flirty friendship that has a suffocating amount of romantic tension which sucks!" You declared turning around. Taken aback he sat up, "I thought that you liked this flirty friendship."

"Not if it's only going to be a fucking friendship." You said lowly leaning against your desk. Realizing what you'd said you spit out whatever would save your ass, "Let's just pretend like this never happened." Standing up and walking in front of you. "I'm not okay with pretending, especially when I've waited so long." You try to push away but you're already in a corner, both literally and metaphorically.

" I'm bad luck, trust me. You deserve a girlfriend who can actually tell you how she feels, Con." It was like a lightbulb flashed in his head. Turning around and grabbing a reversible octopus off of your bed. "Tell me how you feel then." He said placing it into your hands. It was on green, green would be playing it safe. Your friendship would stay the same and you wouldn't have to risk ruining it. No deep end.

You flipped it to purple before handing it to Connor. He smiled, "You deserve to be loved." You looked up at him, deep end bound. He placed his hands on either side of your face. "So let me through those walls." You breathed in. "Only if you promise you won't hurt me."

"Never. I could never hurt you." You felt the moss and ivy that had grown upright on those walls slowly retracted. You moved to place your head in the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around you. "Shit, there goes my stone cold bitch reputation." You joked.

Loosening his grip he curled one of fingers and placed it under your chin. "You were never stone cold to me." Pressing his lips to yours. "But my girlfriend is a bitch and I like her very much." He joked causing you to giggle.

"So, are we going to the dance? Because I like this." You said, He stepped back. "Yes and we can do more of this later." He said as you grabbed your shoes. "Didn't take you for a clinger, Con." You said sitting down to tie them. "Really?" He said jumping onto your bed and crashing into you, "Cause I can get clingy-er." He said pulling himself into you as you finished to tie your shoes. You looked over and smiled.

"M'lady." He said holding his hand out with a dorky british accent. "Why thank you kind sire." You said taking it and walking out of your room.

[gross-gal]

yo!! i dont know jackshit about Darkstalkers!! What's it about?? What do you like about it?? What do you NOT like about it?? Tell me alll!!!! (@gamer-gremlin-gf-ships)

AAAAAA THANK YOU @gamer-gremlin-gf-ships​

SO. I’LL PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT.

Darkstalkers is a fighting game developed by Capcom. The main gimmick is that, most of, the fighters are based off of horror archetypes. So ya got vampires, zombies, frankensteins, fishmen, ghosts, all that shit.

There isn’t really much story wise I can elaborate on since, fighting games don’t usually have that much of a story to begin with. BUT, in Darkstalkers 1 and 2, main story is that this big bad dude named Pyron kinda wants to determine if the Earth is worthy to be ruled under him or if he’ll destroy it. Pyron is a shape shifting alien dude from the planet, Hellstorm and he’s really looking for a good brawl so he goes and fights the most powerful Darkstalker, which is whoever you choose to play as.

Now then, to avoid confusion, Darkstalkers 1 and 2 (or Vampire Hunter/Night Warriors: Darkstalkers’ Revenge) are basically the same game. 2 is more of an updated version of 1, has two new characters, better gameplay, and it also changes some part of the story because Demitri (the vampire dude) actually was the one who originally started the whole tournment thing in determining who was the most powerful and I think? Pyron kinda ends up in the way. In 2, it basically is changed to Pyron is the one that starts the tournament, and that’s the canonical version.

So 2 isn’t really that much of a sequel, while Darkstalkers 3 (or Vampire Savior) is an actual sequel to the series. This introduces the antagonist, Jedah Dohma, whose plot is that he wants to collect all the powerful darkstalker souls and put them into this big demon baby, which then be used as a vessel for him. Jedah’s whole thing is that he’s basically disappointed in what has become of the demon world (makai world) and decides that he’s going to annihilate both the demons and humans. He sees himself as a savior, and while there really isn’t a protag, Jedah kind of is considered to be one in 3.

NOW. WHAT IS A DARKSTALKER? It’s literally just...fucking monster? I guess? There really isn’t a specific definition but just know, everyone, besides B.B. Hood because she’s the only true human in the series, is a Darkstalker.

Just gonna get my problems out of the way. Obviously, the series has some sexual stuff, which is fine but it can get uncomfortable. Demitri is a pretty big example since he literally has an ability that just involves transforming the opponent into a younger, more desirable person so that he can drain their blood? I won’t go to into it since it’s gross but yeah. Then of course there’s Lilith and yeah...REALLY WISH THEY DIDN’T MAKE HER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE SHE’S A PRETTY COOL CHARACTER.

Darkstalkers also doesn’t offer much as far as a story, this is sort of good because it offers a lot of freedom as far as writing, but to be honest? A lot of stuff which tries to elaborate on the Darkstalkers lore or whatever, KIND OF SUCKS. I myself, am not into the Udon comics or the mangas, the OVA also doesn’t offer much of a great story. Which is a shame because Darkstalkers has a lot of potential but so many attempts, just kinda fail because they miss the point in the series. Udon and the Vampire Savior manga in particular because they take the series way too seriously or just characterize really strangely? The OVA probably offers the best in terms of story but it’s not even much because the only actual good and satisfying one, is Donovan’s story. His is the only one that actually has a conclusion. Otherwise, the OVA suffers from poor pacing, lots of exposition, or just OOC moments. LIKE??? REALLY DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AS TO WHY FELICIA GETS ALONG WITH ZABEL OR MORRIGAN ENDING UP WITH DEMITRI?

And then I guess a more minor complaint. Darkstalkers has a very specific style, I really think the series look best in the first two games and in the OVA. I personally am not a big fan of the character art in 3 jdskal

NOW FOR THE POSITIVES.

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MUCH I ADORE THE ART AND ANIMATION IN THE SERIES????

The main artists for the series are Bengus (Gouda Cheese) and Daigo Ikeno. Bengus really fucking nailed how the series should look. It’s got that perfect balance of the gothic, sensual aesthetic with exaggeration and fuckin weirdness of the series. Darkstalkers is a series that completely embraces it’s wacky side and just how campy it’s influences are. I mostly love Bengus’ earlier works from 1 and 2. Daigo’s stuff is much more casual and less elaborate compared to Bengus’ works but I kinda love that, he’s really great at showing off the characters in more casual situations and showing off their goofier sides. I’ll share some of my favorite pieces at the end.

OH GOD. AND HOW CAN I NOT BRING UP THE ANIMATION???

While I wouldn’t say it’s as fluent as Street Fighter Alpha 3′s sprites, because Darkstalkers is able to be more creative with it’s moves, the results are some super wacky and fun animation. Darkstalkers animators heavily referenced old Looney Tunes and Hanna Barbera cartoons when it came to animating. I really don’t know a whole lot of fighting games, especially from Capcom, that look the way Darkstalkers looks. And a lot of that comes from the fact that Darkstalkers isn’t very limited. Characters can launch missles, fireballs, fucking blood?. Characters can extend or manipulate their body. Or just do weird shit like transform characters into basketballs, make characters perform in a rhythm game?, A CHARACTER STRAIGHT UP USES HIS ASS CHEEKS TO GRAB YOU AND SUMMON LIGHTNING?? Everything is super fucking wild and that’s what makes the series.

A lot of people say Darkstalkers needs to be gorey and sexual but that’s really not what the series is about. Yes, Darkstalkers is def sensual but it also really doesn’t take itself seriously. That’s what so many people miss. And honestly? Even though it was terrible, the American cartoon ends up being the most accurate to the source material because it gives no fucks and so much weird shit just happens.

Another thing I love about Darkstalkers is how much it subverts it’s characters and just how creative they got. You have an Australian zombie rockstar, a catlady that’s also an idol and a nun??, a demon possessed samurai ghost armor guy. The character design is genuinely fucking brillant and not at all what you’d expect to get when given the idea for monster characters. I would talk about the characters but you see how long this post is starting to get.

And I haven’t talked that much about gameplay but Darkstalkers feels fucking great. If you’re curious about which game to get into, absolutely go with 3/Vampire Savior. It feels great, combo inputs are relatively simple, you can straight up beat the game just by button mashing, and no character really feels too similar. It’s also a very fast game too, if you ever watch tournaments, they go by so fast and when you play it, you’re very much engaged. It’s a game that requires a lot of attention and I enjoy that. I also have to mention this but, pretty much every character has their own unfair, bullshit tactic that, if you plan on getting good, will require you to figure out how to avoid depending on what character you use. There’s a sorta popular joke with the game that, it’s balanced if all the characters are broken. I’ll admit, probably not the best game for someone like me that sucks as far as remembering stuff and being able to plan ahead, but I still have lots of fun with the game!

I really didn’t expect to become as engaged in the series as I did but there is a lot to appreciate about Darkstalkers. It’s unfortunate to because, sadly, Darkstalkers likely will never get another game.

While the series is technically popular, it’s still way too niche compared to most fighting games. It just never had the same impact as other fighting games, and ultimately, no matter how good those games feel to play, there’s always shit like Marvel vs Capcom that just is more well known and features more stuff that just is what people prefer going to. I think Capcom will pretty much stick with having Darkstalkers characters appear in crossover games vs actually giving the franchise another game

They tries reviving it with Resurrection, which was a re-release of the games on Xbox and Playstation, but it hardly even sold that many copies. Which is where the phrase “Darkstalkers are not Dead” originated from, a phrase that has become a joke now in the fighting game community. Even if they were to revive the series, it’d be difficult recapturing that same vibe since most of the original crew are working on completely separate projects. There’s also a part of me that does fear the idea of another game because of how it’ll be handled. I’ve heard people mention possibly having the Skullgirls team develop or maybe Arc Systems, I just don’t want a lot of the charm to be lost in a sequel.

Since a fighting game isn’t really possible, I do hope for maybe a show or comic series that explores the characters and story more.

My brain is kinda blanking rn but yeah. I just fucking love this series a lot. I hope maybe someday I can contribute something great to this franchise and I hope you listened to me ramble about it.

[spaceskam]

23 + davenzi

sorry this was late as hell. special thanks to this soulmate au idea

warning: mentions of suicide

Matteo didn’t know what he was expecting.

He’d heard his whole life of this magical day where, when the clock struck midnight on his 18th birthday, his world would freeze and only he and his soulmate would be unfrozen, free to spend their day together and unbothered.  Of course, everyone else would go on with their day.  It was like the universe would put you and that special someone on a whole new plane of existence.

However, no one really talked about what happened if you didn’t know your soulmate at 18 or couldn’t find them during that day.  He’d searched on it for weeks leading up to the day, reading forum after forum of horror stories.  He’d read more than one on clinically depressed people who spiraled, 24 hours of being absolutely alone with their own head being far too much.  Or anxious people who panicked until they couldn’t take it.  He even read a few who had attempted suicide.  Matteo was hoping he wouldn’t end up in that state of mind.

Still, as he looked around the party that Jonas had thrown and invited the whole school to, he desperately wanted to see someone as unfrozen as he was.  A lonely, pathetic part of him looked to Jonas, hoping he’d be moving.  But he wasn’t, he was frozen with a giant ass smile on face while looking straight at Hanna.  Of course.

“Anyone else unfrozen in here?” Matteo called, a last-ditch attempt at seeing if his soulmate was here.  He wasn’t.

A sigh pushed out of his chest, glancing around as he pushed himself towards the kitchen.  He really started understanding how people could feel so overwhelmed and paranoid by this.  It was disturbing, something out of a horror movie where everyone was so fucking far away from him and he couldn’t do anything about it.  He was alone.

He hoped whoever his soulmate is was coping with it.

Matteo moved sluggishly as he got a cup of water and made his way to his bedroom. He really just wanted to sleep the day away. Maybe if he slept long enough, he could wake up and everyone would be unfrozen again.

So he went to bed.

-

Matteo woke to the sun rudely shining in through the window. With a groan, he reached for his phone to see it wasn’t even noon yet.  He groaned louder.  He continued to lay there for a moment, hoping to will himself to sleep again so he won’t have to spend the day with everyone completely frozen.

It was one thing to isolate yourself. It was another to be forced into it.

However, he could only take so much before he got too hungry.  So, he had to get up.  He didn’t bother getting dressed outside of adding a pair of sweats and a jacket and he didn’t bother staying inside either. He didn’t like staring at all the frozen people, but, since they froze at midnight, there shouldn’t be many people on the street.

It was the quietest Berlin had ever been and Matteo hated it. He usually loved the quiet, but it was too quiet. Overwhelmingly quiet.  Which was really fucking annoying.

Still, he made it to his favorite 24-hour sandwich shop and walked right in.  There wasn’t actually anyone there except an employee who was frozen in the back, so he let himself behind the counter.  He crafted a sandwich as best he could and left the money on the counter.  He didn’t know exactly how this worked if they’d even notice anything was gone or if they’d get any money, but it subdued his conscious and that’s really all he cared about.  Well, that and actually eating.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

Matteo froze, his eyes casting up with his sandwich partially hanging out of his mouth. In the doorway stood a guy who was staring him down with fuck-me eyes paired with a little smirk on his lips.  If this was his soulmate, and that’s what appeared to be the case, Matteo couldn’t say the universe did him dirty.  The guy was fucking hot.  Coffee colored skin, septum piercing, stunning… everything.

Everything seemed to slow down. He was way too perfect.  Mind-numbing, mouth-watering, body-aching type of perfect.

Then he bit his lip and his face slowly broke out into a wild grin, his entire face beaming. Matteo nearly fainted right then and there. Who the hell was allowed to go from that hot to that cute that fast?  And why the hell were they his?

“Sorry, sorry, that was bad. In my defense, I thought I had some time to come up with a better pick-up line. Go figure that you’re older than me,” he said, stepping further into the shop. Matteo was frozen as he watched him.

This was fucking insane. How was someone that looked like him supposed to be Matteo’s soulmate? That didn’t make any sense.

The guy was still grinning as he leaned on the counter across from him, “I know you’re not frozen.”

Suddenly, Matteo remembered how to blink.

“Sorry, sorry,” Matteo said, swallowing the bite he’d taken and wiping his mouth. Maybe he should’ve actually tried to look nice.  “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” the guy chuckled, “I’m David.”

“Matteo.”

“Matteo,” David repeated, seeming to roll his name in his mouth and Matteo felt chills down his spine, “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Matteo murmured, taking him in once more before holding out his sandwich to him. David grinned but shook his head.

“I’m good, thank you.”

“So, uh, not to sound rude, but how did you find me? I mean, literally could’ve been anywhere,” Matteo pointed out. David shrugged his shoulders.

“I figured I should go to places I would go and hope for the best,” David explained, “I got lucky.”

Matteo gulped, “Yeah.”

“I just moved here too, so,” he paused, looking him very obviously up and down in a way that made Matteo’s stomach tighten, “Really lucky.”

They fell into a small vat of silence, staring at each other without any sense of shame as Matteo finished his food.  He could get used to this. David wasn’t overwhelming, he was just a calming presence that was apparently all his. He’d known that your soulmate was supposed to be calming, but Matteo hadn’t realized he would actually be getting one.  Well, he knew, but he didn’t know know. It didn’t feel real.

With David staring at him, it still didn’t.

“Wanna hang out?” Matteo managed to ask after he finished.  David blinked so slow Matteo wondered if he was fantasizing without realizing.

“That’s what we’re supposed to do, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but if, if you don’t want then‒” Matteo stopped himself, taking a deep breath. Jonas had told him that he just had to be smooth and the girl that the universe chose for him would fall for him immediately. Of course, Jonas was missing the giant ‘queer’ sign that hung over his head. Still, he had a point. Matteo dug in his pocket. “Fancy a joint?”

David glanced him up and down, “Yeah, sure.”

Matteo gave a grin, tucking the joint behind his ear and led the way outside. They leaned against the outside of the shop and the moment he lit up, he could feel the tension slip away. No more making a fool of himself in front of his soulmate.

His soulmate.

“So, what brings you here this close to the end of the school year?” Matteo asked.  David raised an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“You’re my soulmate apparently,” It was the first time either of them had said it out loud. Yeah, still insane. “Probably should get to know you.”

“Mm, maybe,” David said, tilting his head back against the wall. He brought the joint to his lips and suddenly became the cover of a magazine.

“You not gonna tell me?”

David turned his head to face him, “Killed someone. Had to go into hiding.

Matteo grinned helplessly, “Brutal.”

“I know.”

David was easy to talk to. That was obviously a good thing since they were soulmates. This was his person.  And his person was witty, hot, nice, and so much more that he would get to learn over a lifetime. He was so lucky.

“Wanna go see a movie?  I may or may not know how to work shit at a theatre,” David said, scrunching up his nose just a little bit when he gave that wide, wide smile.

“Let’s go.”

Within twenty minutes, Matteo found himself in a theatre alone with David and a movie he’d never heard of. He didn’t mind. Nor did he even really watch it.  He spent two hours with his head thrown back, staring at David and memorizing his face.

In that time spent memorizing, he also was faced with the reality that he didn’t really have a choice but to come out now.  His soulmate was a man‒and it definitely did not feel like a platonic soulmate‒and he wouldn’t be able to hide that for long.  Maybe he could lie for a while, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to even really come out. Maybe he could just introduce David as his soulmate and let everyone form their own opinion. He didn’t want to have to tell everyone, that just seemed so unnecessary. It’s his thing. He didn’t want to announce it to the world. He just wanted to say “this is David, he’s my soulmate” and have people roll with it.

Once the movie rolled to an end, they got back to talking.  He found out David was an artist, that he liked to dance, that he loved movies. Matteo couldn’t think of anything interesting about himself to share.

“So basically you’re super fucking interesting and I’m a boring ass, let down soulmate, okay,” Matteo said, laughing slightly. David rolled his eyes, shifting to face Matteo even more.

“No, you’re not boring, you’re… quiet and you’re funny. You… you’re a lot of things, I don’t know, I don’t think you’re a letdown,” David said. Oh yeah, he definitely got lucky in the soulmate department.

“Did you have anyone in mind of who your soulmate might’ve been?” Matteo bothered to ask. As much as he enjoyed hearing David say that he wasn’t a letdown, he also wasn’t one to enjoy being showered in compliments. That was enough to reassure him that David actually liked him.

“No, not really. Did you?” David asked. Silence fell over them once again as Matteo debated telling him about Jonas.  It felt like something stupid to admit since Jonas wasn’t really an option, he was more of a stupid hope.  However, this was his soulmate and what was the point of lying?

“Uh, kinda. My best friend,” Matteo admitted, looking down, “But I didn’t know if it’d be a platonic soulmate or not, I didn’t know what I was going to have.”

“I thought I was going to have a platonic soulmate,” David admitted.  Matteo furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up to him again.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, just didn’t think I’d ever have someone made for me, like, romantically. Thought I’d have to struggle to find that myself.”

“Well, what if we are platonic soulmates?” Matteo suggested though he hoped that wasn’t true. How awkward would it be to be attracted to you universe-decided best friend for life?

“I mean… Not to be rude, but I really hope not,” David said. His cheeks were tinted red and Matteo could feel his own matching it. “Do you?  Want us to be platonic?”

“No.”

“Good.”

What is the acceptable amount of time knowing someone before you kiss them?

There was something a lot more peaceful about the world being frozen when you weren’t alone anymore. He had someone to talk to, to joke with, to have dinner with, to walk around Berlin with and not have anyone interrupt them. It was like a getaway without all the bullshit that involved physically getting away. It was simple and easy and he wouldn’t have wanted to spend his day with anyone else aside from David.

As they headed back to Matteo’s place at nearly 10 at night, he was sold. The universe had given him the best gift. Part of him was even a little eager to introduce him to everyone. Just, eventually.  He wanted to keep him to himself for a little longer, to get to know him a little better.

“Holy shit, there’s a million fucking people here,” David said, huffing a laugh as he weaved through the people in Matteo’s apartment.

“Yeah, but my friend’s thought it was a good idea to invite everyone in the school so the girl of my dreams would be there to freeze with me,” Matteo feigned a wistful tone, grinning at David who snorted.

“They think you’re straight?”

“Yeah.”

“How? You’d set off anyone’s gaydar from a million miles away,” David joked, giggling even more when Matteo shoved him.  They were both smiling as he led him to his room.

“Welcome to me,” Matteo sighed, throwing his arms out and collapsing on his bed.

For the third time since he met David, the universe seemed to slow down as he watched him. David walked around the room, aimlessly touching things as he absorbed the space. Matteo hated having pretty much anyone in his space.

He liked David being there.

He liked it more when David fell to the bed beside him.

“You wanna stay the night?”

“Sure.”

Life got a little better when David changed into his clothes.

“I’m kind of going to miss the silence once the world wakes up,” Matteo admitted as David crawled under the blanket beside him, “I like being here with you.”

“I’ll still be here.”

Matteo smiled, “You got a point.”

David scooted closer, tucking his hand beneath his head. It was stupid, but it felt like they’d known each other forever. Everything was so ridiculously comfortable. He’d heard how great it was for soulmates, how everything made more sense.  He hadn’t expected it to feel this good.

He couldn’t wait until David’s 18th birthday so they could do this again.

Matteo reached out, his hand resting against David’s arm and tracing nonsensical shapes against his skin. In less than an hour, life would resume.  He wanted just this. He wanted just now.

“So,” David suddenly said, his eyes anywhere but Matteo’s, “There’s something I should probably tell you.”

“Okay.”

“I… I thought I had more time, honestly, and I’ve been thinking all day about when I should tell you.  But you’re my soulmate and I figure starting this whole thing with keeping secrets is probably a bad idea,” David said. Matteo’s eyebrows slowly pulled together in concern.

“What’s up?”

“I mean, I, I have like a rough draft of how I should tell my soulmate typed up on my phone if you wanted me to send it to you, or, like, let you read it. I could read it to you,” David offered, still not looking at him. Matteo thought about taking his hand off him.  Instead, he moved it to grab David’s nervous hand.

“Just say it.”

With a heavy breath, David said, “I’m trans.”

“Okay,” Matteo said, still staring at him. David finally, finally looked at him again.

“Is that okay?” he asked, a mix of confusion and hesitation scattered all over his face.

“Yeah,” Matteo agreed. He paused for a beat. “What does that mean exactly?”

David’s eyebrows instantly pulled together and he searched Matteo’s face a handful of times before breaking out into a wild smile.  Laughter was bubbling out of him as he asked, “You just said you were okay with it without even knowing what it means?”

“Yeah,” Matteo said. Even though he was still pretty confused, David’s smile was contagious and he gave one right back. “I mean, you’re my soulmate, you know? You’re literally specially crafted for me, so I’d eventually be okay with whatever you are. Why should waste time and energy?”

“You are insane,” David said, shaking his head, “But thank you.”

“What exactly does it mean, like, for you?”

“I, uh, it means…” David paused again, looking at him and then looking away. He eventually made eye contact. Matteo added brave to the list of things he learned about him. “I was born in the body of a girl.”

Matteo nodded slowly, “Okay. So that means you’re a‒”

“Boy. I’m a boy,” David said simply, “I just have to try a little harder.”

“Sounds like work,” Matteo said, scooting a little closer. David smiled at him, an easy little smile.

“Yeah, you could say that,” David hummed, “You really don’t mind?”

“I mean, I don’t fully understand all the mechanics of it, but if it’s who you are, then who am I to do anything but accept it and appreciate you not being a dick for me not knowing,” Matteo said, again scooting closer. David pulled him into a hug, wrapping him up in his arms all nice and tight and secure.

“I’ll answer any questions you have,” David said. Matteo shut his eyes.

“Tomorrow?”

“Absolutely.”

They fell silent all over again and Matteo found solace in the fact that the only sounds he heard were David’s breathing and his heart beating.  It was better than any pillow he could’ve ever been given.

He had spent years fearing the prospect of a soulmate and he had spent the last few months worrying that he wouldn’t find him and that he’d go insane from loneliness. From what David had said, it sounded like he hadn’t expected much either.  Instead, he got to spend most of his day with this guy who he would get to spend forever with and it was so fucking easy.

This wasn’t scary. This was safe. He prayed that David felt the same way. He had to assume he did.

Eventually, Matteo felt himself drifting off and he couldn’t really have chosen a better place to do so than in David’s arms.  The last thing he heard before time unfroze and they were given back to reality was David’s voice.

“Happy birthday, Matteo.”

[chappela]

Quarter Life Crisis

Pairings: Friendship only!! Hanna x Eadlyn (MC)

Rating/Warnings: G. Like super stupid G haha! And no real warnings...maybe some language?

Words: 1182

Disclaimer: I do not own Hanna or Maxwell or really anything to do with TRR or Choices. I will take ownership of dear sweet Eadlyn, my MC.

A/N: This fic is something I’ve been meaning to write for a very long time. It has been brewing within me for years. A few years back I went through a self proclaimed ‘quarter life crisis’. To be perfectly honest I am still dealing with a lot of the things that came about back then. It may seem silly to some but as adults we all know we can’t possibly ever have life figured out. Whether we are 25, 40, 50 or beyond, we all struggle. I struggled, and am still struggling with feelings of jealousy, confusion, the thought of disappointing those who mean the most to me, as well as myself. I made a pact to myself back then that I would attempt to be a bit more selfish and begin going down a path paved for me and by me. I am a people pleaser, I hate disappointing those around me even if it means putting myself last. This is not healthy, and this is what I have come to realize.

When I found choices and read TRR I immediately knew Hanna would be the character vessel to help me let this all out.

It has taken me some time to finally get it together and write this, and honestly its really just a personal therapeutic word vomit. There is no romance in this fic, and I understand that most prolly won’t give this fic a second glance. I realize this may not be everyone’s shot of tequila, and thats ok. If you find the will to power through, then thank you, but please know I take no offense if you don’t. I hope this story resonates with some of you out there, and if any of you are ever in a weird place please know I am always here to listen. 😘😁❤️

Also my tag list is basically only the few people who have asked after my last fic to be tagged for any future writing I do...not super sure if this is any of your styles.

Hanna was conflicted. Confused about a lot of things. Worried about most everything. Overall frustrated with what she hadn’t done with the past 25 years of her life. 

 She cursed Maxwell. Why did he have to bring up the catch phrase ‘quarter life crises’? It was too damn accurate a description for her current emotional state.

She envisioned herself at 8 years old. She had imagined her life as being so different than what it was currently. Then again she had wanted to be an astronaut back then, which she knew was out of reach after she failed her very first physics exam.

She never envisioned the life of a noble. The life her parents expected of her. Yes expected not hoped for, but actively betrothed her too. How was it possible that with all of their demands and larger than life expectations she was still somehow, single, farther from any throne or title, and on the verge of a complete breakdown. She had never had a job or experienced a frat party. Sure she could play the piano like Beethoven himself, and was fluent in several languages, but at 25 what did that all really get her?

She wished she could have gone abroad for personal matters not court dealings. She longed to experience the nitty gritty that life had to offer. She wished she could be more like Eadlyn. There she thought it! The green eyed monster suddenly took hold. She was jealous of her best and closest friend at court. Shit, in the whole damn world!

How could she be jealous...it made no sense. Eadlyn was amazing. She was perfect. She was both the pageant show winner as well as miss congeniality. It was hard for Hanna to admit that every now and then she wanted her friend to fail, just at something, anything just to prove she was human.

How awful can one be that they wish for the failure of someone they love?

Then again this was certainly nothing new for her. Any and all friendships she ever partook in were arranged by her parents, the social season, or just the damn demands of nobility. This meant friendship and competition seemed to always be fused together. Her friends were always her competition in every way. Ulterior motives were like friendship bracelets seared on the wrist.

Her jealousy made sense. It wasn’t romantic in any way, just pure frustration. Eadlyn simply appeared one day in the world Hanna had always been a part of. The new kid on the block moved in and immediately made the biggest splash. It just wasn’t fair...right?

Eadlyn made friends literally everywhere she went. She was beautiful, kind, grounded, humble, helpful, only intimidating in the sense that she was so popular. The second one opened up to her though, it became clear she was as intimidating as a cotton ball.

Hanna let out a heavy sigh. What was she doing? How could she be so vindictive towards someone who had always been there for her? There was truly no reason for her to feel this way. She was angry at someone because they were too good of a friend?!

She thought on the subject a bit harder. Was it truly Eadlyn she was jealous of or maybe it was the other people in Eadlyn’s world. The more she pondered this the more she agreed that this was what she truly held issue with. Eadlyn had other people in her circle who she was closer with. There were friends back in America surely whom she had known for years. Even people here in Cordonia that must mean more to her then Hanna. She had only been in Eadlyn’s life for a year and a half at most, and a good part of that she was supposedly competition. At that she let out an aggravated snort. As if Hanna had ever truly been competition. As if she was even in Eadlyn’s inner most circle today...

What was she doing to herself? What was she doing to her relationship with Eadlyn? How could she think this way?

She hated herself for thinking like this. Eadlyn loved her and she loved Eadlyn. They were friends, best friends she reminded herself. And maybe that sentiment applied more towards her than Eadlyn but in her mind the feeling was hopefully mutual. Friendship meant lifting each other up not tearing each other down. She needed to support her friend unconditionally not root for failure.

She internally apologized to Eadlyn as she slayed her green eyed monster. She needed to move forward by confessing this internal struggle of hers to Eadlyn. She knew she needed to clear the air and she knew Eadlyn would understand. That’s just the kind of friend she was. And that was exactly the type of friend Hanna was always in desperate need of growing up.

Who could have ever suspected she would have found her in an optimistic, sassy, American? There was suddenly a knock on her door. Hanna reached for the handle opening the large oak door to reveal the one and only Eadlyn White.

“Ready for the greatest sleepover evvvverrrr?!!!” Eadlyn sang the last word letting her jovial voice float through the room.

Hanna could only smile as she took in Eadlyn clad in a ridiculous plaid onesie. Rom-coms in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other.

Hanna just shook her head and stepped to the side to allow her friend access to her bedroom.

“You better believe I am!” She retorted in what she hoped was an equally sing-songy tone.

“Before we begin though there was a confession I wanted to make to you that has kind of been weighing on me lately.” Hanna became nervous, wringing her hands together. Eadlyn turned to her suddenly much more serious than a moment before.

“Is everything ok, hun?” She inquired stepping towards Hanna, concern etched across her face.

“Yeah I just had some unsavory feelings I have been meaning to express to you for a while now...” Hanna paused and took a cleansing breath before opening her eyes to continue. “Why don’t we crack open that bottle and have a roaring round of Hanna tells all?”

“Sounds like a plan Chica!” Eadlyn replied as she opened the bottle and offered it to Hanna to take the first swig. “First sip is always the best”, she smiled as Hanna accepted the bottle and took a long pull from it.

The night progressed with more confessions, stories, secrets and tequila then either girl could have ever anticipated. In the end Hanna had nothing to worry about. Eadlyn made sure of that. She and Hanna had one of the greatest sleepover/therapy sessions any girl could ever dream of.

It was that night that Hanna learned the most important relationship lesson of all...

The key to success in any situation is communication. And from that day forward Hanna never held in her true feelings towards those she cared about. Thanks to her quarter-life crisis, a good friend, and a bottle of tequila.

Tag List?: @burnsoslow​​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @emceesynonymroll​​ @loveellamae​​

[loplainlointhemorning]

@yung-tamale tagged me for this and I’m actually gonna respond lolll

name: Liv/Curt

nicknames: i absolutely don’t have any other than ‘hey this picture of pj harvey made me think of you’ which is sexy

zodiac: Cancer

height: 5’6”

languages: sadly only English. i May need to learn Italian eventually for undisclosed reasons

nationality: American. i wish it were anything else

favorite season: S U M M E R

favorite flower: hyacinths, roses, irises, morning glories, day lillies, snowdrops, clover flower, daffodils, cherry blossoms, dogwood flowers, and anything I ever saw in my grandmother’s garden

favorite scent: bleach, dad’s cologne, mom’s shampoo, rain, uh. girls

favorite fictional character: OK MM

Curt Wild is part of the reason why I’m currently going by Curt and it’s bc he’s handsome and stupid and people keep hurting him like me

Brian Slade is the actual definition of what I would look like ideally and we’re both bottoms who believe we’re otherworldly and important with 0 evidence other than ego

Mark Renton is also the definition of what I would look like ideally and I feel such a strong connection to his miserable cunt life that idk how to watch Trainspotting 1 or 2 without crying

Orlando in the 1992 film is me but masc and they get a crush on this dark haired foreign girl that throws them into a YEARS LONG poetic depression & then have sex w a dick 1 time & have a daughter like same :/

Tommy Gnosis/Hedwig Robinson bc I’m the definition of their chaotic blend of stupid, horny, and philosophical

Euchrid Eucrow from And The Ass Saw The Angel is honestly one of the most relatable characters in existence and his internal monologue and how he feels abt himself and views the world is exactly how I’ve felt more and more as I’ve gotten older

Dorian Gray is who I would be if I could make my life the way I wanted it. I ruined your life and I’m a sexy twink. oops 💋

Harley Quinn,, I don’t feel like I have to explain Harley Quinn. me

coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate?: coffee or hot chocolate tea is for the English

average sleep: 7 hours usuallyfjdjdndn

dogs or cats: cats 🐈

number of blankets: quilt, top cover being fleece blanket, covering ur entire body lest you fall prey to some demon ur anxiety pulled out of Hereditary

dream trip: I wanna go to London literally so bad, and Seattle and San Francisco And Berlin and. yknow. all the gay haunts.

blog established: dec. 2017, but I’ve been here since dec. 2015

random fact: when I was a kid I got so obsessed with the game Wolf Quest that when I finished it and got separated from my last pup, Snow, who id formed an actual maternal bond with, I became depressed for three months. one of the reasons I didn’t actively try to destroy myself at the end of 2017 was bc they’d announced Wolf Quest 3. i am a fucking furry

Gender: androgynous(any pronouns, most comfortable with she/they)

Current time: 4:05 PM

Favorite musical artists: David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love, Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, PJ Harvey, Leonard Cohen, Kathleen Hanna, Placebo, Elton John

Stuck in my head: Never Let Me Down Again- Depeche Mode

Last movie I saw: Last Days- Gus Van Sant

Last thing I googled: Ben Folds lyrics I’m so sorry

other blogs: ok @iknewishouldcreateasensation and @everyonesintothisscene are my two velvet goldmine blogs, but I’ve been putting a lot of shit on @untieformeyourhighbluegown like aes/vent stuff, all my original art, and all my music. it’s like a museum of me

do I get asks: The asks I get fall into three categories

1- why are you such a lesbian hater for being mean to x terf

2- why do you like David Bowie

3- you’re sexy

4- something pj Harvey related

5- one of my cool gay friends saying cool gay things to me and ya just generally vibing abt loving each other

6- random accusations and transphobia that I don’t understand

so yeah boys pls send asks!!!

reason for url: i lov Oscar Wilde and I love Velvet Goldmine

followers/following: I have like 500 followers MAYBE it might actually be 300 and I follow like 2,000 blogs

lucky number: 6

currently wearing:

Johnny Cash target t shirt

dream job: jack of all trades artist & touring musician

favorite foods: pastries, sugar, sharp cheese, any bread that isn’t soft, garlic, Mac n cheese, p-

instruments: vocals/guitar, but I want to learn piano again I think??

favorite song(rn): Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin On(Jerry Lee Lewis), Levi Johnson’s Blues(Ben Folds and Nick Hornby), Clap Hands(Tom Waits), I Hope That I Dont Fall In Love With You(Tom Waits), Life And Death Of Mr. Badmouth(PJ Harvey), Ballad Of Hollis Brown(Bob Dylan), Don’t(Ed Sheeran)

i tag:

@wannabegothgurl @pawnshopbluez @wherearemyelephants @beatle-capaldi @lionslove @glamrock-lizardman @joestrummershowl @bigembarrassingheart @old-memoria

[vitalpen]

Redesign

(Yo.  Its been almost a year, Chapter 5 came out a couple weeks back, Squiggly was lookin’ for some stuff to read, and I missed this AU.  So have a little thing just talking about how scary change can be, but how necessary it is.  Not specific to Toon Henry, but using it as a setting becuase I’m (ironically) and creature of habit.  Here’s a link to a visual aid

https://squigglydigg.tumblr.com/post/166168062821/so-whatisthisnonsense-and-i-were-talking-a-little)

“Morning,” a tired man groaned his way down the stairs, still in mint green pajamas and rabbit slippers..

“Mornin’”, the cartoon character sitting on his couch, flipping through channels at a comedic speed, groaned in a similar fashion.

Henry Ross stretched a little, working out the kinks in his back and trying to wake himself up a little more.  “Where’s Alice and Boris?”

“Morning walk, the lunatics,” Bendy replied.

“Mmm,” was Henry’s only reply.  He wasn’t surprised.  Those two always did have an easier time getting up in the morning.  He was old and Bendy was… Bendy.  “How’d you sleep?”

“Dang storm kept me up.” The toon jerked a thumb upward, “Must be one heck of a bowling tournament goin’ on up there.”  In his groggy state, it took Henry a moment to realize Bendy was talking about Heaven.

“Yeah, must be,” he walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge.  After a moment, he called back, “You eat yet?”

“Nope,” came the answer. Another thing that wasn’t surprising.

“I was thinking eggs and toast, sound good?”

“Ooh!  Can I help?”  The reply came from just on the other side of the fridge door.   Henry closed it just a little to find the toon with enormous, glistening eyes, and his hands folded next to his cheek, “Pleeeeease?”

“Sure, you can do the toast,” he replied bluntly.

Immediately the toon deflated… literally.  He just as quickly re-inflated with a nonplussed expression and an indignant puffing of his chest.  “The toast? What kind of amateur errand-boy do you take me for?”

“The kind that might still find a way to set something on fire.”  The toon’s track record in the kitchen was anything but spotless.

“You’ve got insurance,” Bendy verbally handwaved.

“And a fire extinguisher now on standby,” Henry countered.  It hadn’t been there two months ago.

With a final puff and dramatic sigh, the toon relented.  “Fine, I’ll do the stinkin’ toast.”  He grumbled his way past Henry to the breadbox and yanked the bag out.  

With a chuckle, Henry took out the egg carton and looked at the time.  “When did they leave?”

“Around half past 7.” Bendy climbed up onto the counter and sat at the ready next to the toaster.

It was about 7:50 now, which meant they would probably be back soon.  “Did they eat?”  He looked over to Bendy, who shrugged.  Henry pursed his lips for a moment, then decided against making something for them just yet.  The eggs didn’t take long to make.  If they hadn’t, he could just make some when they got home.  With that decided, he put two frying pans on the stove and grabbed a mixing bowl.  A little bit of milk, four eggs, and some mixing later, the scrambled eggs were ready to be cooked.  He melted butter in the bottom of both pans and poured the egg and milk mix into one, then cracked the last two into the other.  “Alright, put the toast in.”

“Oui, mon capitaine,” Bendy saluted and pressed the lever down on the toaster.

Henry pursed his lips again, debating something for a moment, then nodded to himself.  “Hey, can you head to my office?  In the top drawer, there’s a folder with a couple sheets I want you to grab and bring back here.”

“Sure.”  Bendy hopped off and left the room.

“Don’t look at them until you’re back in here, alright?”

“Sure, sure, keepin’ yer secrets, I getcha,” Bendy called back.  In less than two minutes, he was back, carrying a folder full of papers. He set them on the kitchen table and waited patiently.  “Sure you’re not worried about getting’ grease on’em?”

“It’s fine, we’ll be careful.” He flipped his eggs and continued moving around the slowly solidifying batter for Bendy’s.  “Open it and look at the first sheet, tell me what you think.”

With a curious raise of the eyebrow, Bendy did as he was told.  What he saw caught him entirely off guard.  The first sheet was full of sketches, designs, even a fully colored image.  He, Boris, and Alice, all looking a far cry from themselves.  He was probably the most untouched.  His solid black form, head shape, and gloves were all intact, but his limbs were a bit thicker, his proportions a bit less stretchy, face less rounded, and his bowtie was yellow.  Boris and Alice had gotten a much more thorough treatment.  Boris was sporting dark brown fur, blue overalls, and a brand new ascot.  Alice was by far the most striking.  The black had been traded for white on the dress, red on her gloves and boots, and blonde in her hair.  “What’s all this?”  He finally asked.  “You applyin’ to Hanna-Barbera?”

Henry chuckled, flipping his eggs one more time and starting to scoop Bendy’s onto a plate.  “No, just throwing some things at the wall, seeing what sticks.”  The toast popped and Bendy took the opportunity to get a rest from the new designs.

“Why?”  He asked cautiously as he climbed up and plucked the slices from their hot cradles.

Henry handed Bendy the plate of scrambled eggs and started getting his onto a plate.  “Well, the designs for you three have been around for decades.  Black and white, massive pupils, it’s something a lot of other studios have moved away from.”

“You thinkin’ of doin’ that too?”  Bendy set his plate down and held a hand out for Henry’s, still sorting out the feelings as they arose.

“Not yet,” the old man replied, offering the plate for his toast.  “But if we do, I want to make sure I have some idea on where we’d be going with it.”  He sensed the toon’s worry and offered a reassuring smile. “After all, I’ve got three very important opinions to take into account.”  They both took their plates to the table, and Henry retrieved the salt and pepper.  “Now, you’ve clearly got some feedback for me.”

“Is it that obvious?” Bendy grabbed the silverware for them and a carton of orange juice.  Henry just replied with a smirk as he set a couple glasses out.  “Well, if you’re up for a critique.”

“You don’t get by in the industry without it,” Henry replied as he sat down.  Bendy joined him, having grabbed some jam for his toast.

“Well, I don’t hate the splash o’ color, but I’m not sure how I feel about havin’ cheek bones,” the toon took a moment to tear into his eggs.  “However,” he continued with his mouth full, “I think the limbs are what looked the weirdest.  I’m used to these noodles,” he displayed his spaghetti thin arms to demonstrate, “not normal lookin’ arms and legs, you know?”

Henry nodded, the toon had been reflecting a lot of his own thoughts on the designs.  He liked them, and he knew that the three could do with some updating, but drawing them in such a starkly different way than he’d been doing his whole career, it would definitely take getting used to.  “What about Boris and Alice?”

“Well,” Bendy rubbed his chin, giving his thoughts time to form into words.  “Boris is the easier one to swallow.  He still just looks like plain ol’ Boris.  He’d probably like the ascot, when I think about it.”  He cast his eyes to Alice’s new look.  “That one gets me.”

“Thought I’d try something daring,” Henry explained.

“It’s daring, alright. Switching out the black for all this bright n’ vibrant stuff.  She looks a bit more angelic, that’s for sure,” he paused with his eyes squinted.

“But…” Henry urged.

“But it doesn’t look like her,” Bendy blurted out like he’d been holding his breath.  “You know me, I’m a ‘glory days’ kinda guy.  I like how we look, and seein’ that change is kinda hurts, you know?”  He stopped and stood up and started pacing, “But things gotta change, right?  Clinging to the past ain’t healthy,” he looked meaningfully at Henry, “we both know a thing or two about that.”  His circuit back and forth continued.  “And change ain’t always a bad thing, sometimes ya need it.  Most places are doin color shows by now, even the mouse put some red in his shorts years ago.  Most of the cartoons we make these days are in color, we’re the holdouts on that one.”  

Henry waited quietly as the toon debated himself, more than a little amused by how similar the train of thought was to his.

“But does that mean we gotta start lookin’ like the Jetsons?  Do we all gotta start wearing shit collars so talkin’s easier to animate?”  He stopped pacing and started tapping his foot with his arms crossed and his stare boring into the floor, after a moment he looked back at Henry.  “Am I overreacting?  I think I might be overreacting.  Maybe I’m just too much of an old man, scared by these new-fangled cartoons.”  He slowly made his way back to his seat, taking a bite out of his toast.  “But I don’t want us to do it too much, and lose all the great stuff we had in the first place.”  He looked at Henry again, a little lost.  “Am I making sense?”

That was when Henry finally had to laugh.  It was like was hearing his own thoughts acted out in front of him.  “More than you realize.”  He brushed the crumbs off his hands and turned to the next page.  “How about this?”

What was meant to be a glance at the sheet devolved easily into staring.  His eyes were glued to the paper, completely silent as he looked over every line, every detail.  As he looked, the toon’s lost expression changed to intrigue, then to wonder and a wide smile broke out on his face.  “Well, helloooo there, handsome.  Have we met?”  The page was filled with a second set of designs.  The first attempt had been such a tumultuous thought process afterward, he’d decided to try again.  It was always a good idea to have multiple takes on an idea anyway.  

Like before, Bendy was the most unchanged.  Instead of yellow, Henry had gone with red, changing his bowtie and the soles of his shoes. Boris was also mostly the same, with tan overalls colored different from his white face now and there was a bit of blush in the cheeks to accent the black and white.  Alice had the most done to her; like the first attempt, she’d been given a real skin tone, but instead of white and red, he’d kept the black and added some blue.  These designs also kept the more prominent eyes, just giving them whites to frame the pupils.

When he got his fill, Bendy looked up at Henry with a questioning look.  “You had these the entire time?’  With a knowing grin, Henry nodded.  “And you decided to let me have an existential crisis before you broke’em out?”

“I had some doubts and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just me,” Henry defended.  “I didn’t expect you to get that far into it, though. Besides, I had a feeling you’d like these ones more.”  With that, he stood up and took Bendy’s empty plate, stacking it on his own.  “What do you think?”

“You’re right, I do like’em more,” Bendy grabbed their glasses and followed him, feeling oddly optimistic.  “They feel more like us, you know?  It’s not tryin’ to make us into something we’re not, we still look like we could stretch a little bit, like we belong in a slapstick show, not a cartoon family sitcom.”

Henry laughed; the comparison was fairly apt, he had to admit.  “So is that a green light from you?”

“Bright n’ shiny,” Bendy confirmed with a nod.  Henry took the glasses from him and he went to retrieve their silverware from the table too.  As they cleaned the kitchen up, the toon felt a thought nudge its way into his noggin.  It was only by the time they were done that he’d finally worked it into a question, “Change is a good thing, right?”

Henry smiled down at the toon and nodded. “It’s gonna happen anyway, so it might as well be.”

They walked to the couch Bendy had been occupying before and sat down.  “Then,” Bendy started, but stopped, forming the question a bit more before he tried to ask it.  “Why’s it gotta scare the heck outta everybody everytime it comes ‘round?”

“Because it’s usually not gonna wait for you to be ready,” Henry sat down and Bendy hopped up.  “Sometimes the only thing you can do is roll with it, try to keep up, and,” without warning, an arm hooked around Bendy and pulled him in close to the man, forcing a grunt and a chew toy squeak from the little imp, “make sure you’ve got a pal nearby to keep you going.”

Being allowed room to breathe, the toon cast a pair of annoyed, squinting eyes at the old man, then laughed.  “Yeah, well, lucky for you, I’m here, ya jerk.”

“Yeah,” Henry agreed, probably more sincerely than the imp was prepared for, “lucky me.”

[anachilles]

hey! about ficlet ideas about hanna x jonas maybe one where when jonas is sober the next day he apologizes for trying to kiss her?

Hey anon!! I was originally planning on only doing short lil ficlets for these prompts, but after having so many emotions because of Friday’s clip of them, this one got away from me. So thanks for the prompt/inspiration!!

Words: 2.6k

Summary: Jonas needs to apologise for the way he acted the night before, and may have gotten more than he bargained for when Hanna puts everything into perspective for him. Whether he necessarily wanted to hear it or not.

» [ read on AO3 ] ☼

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[ SAMSTAG; 12:16 ]

In the stark light of day, clear (but sore) headed, Jonas knewhe’d fucked up. Actually, no, he knew that last night pretty muchinstantaneously after he did it.

Waking up, thankfully in his bed (God bless Matteo for seeing tothat), feeling like he’d been ran over by a semi-truck and regretting what hedid the night before was becoming a regular occurrence for him lately, and hecertainly didn’t feel any better for it.

After he woke up, he just sort of lay there and contemplated theaborted move he’d tried to make on Hanna, cringing through every second of thememory. The whole night was submerged in a drunken fog, but that particularmemory cut through it and he recalled it clear as day.

Jonas couldn’t believe he’d done that.

He was wasted.

He was upset.

He missed her so fucking much.

He... was an asshole for putting her in that position.

Despite their rocky break-up, the last thing he’d ever want inthe world was to hurt her, or make her feel uncomfortable.

Jonas closed his eyes against the sun streaming in through thegap in the curtains, and groaned as he tried to scrub some of the ache out ofhis eyes with his fingers.

In the cold light of day he just felt like a massive arcshloch. Andit didn’t sit comfortably with him.

Hoisting himself upright, Jonas grabbed his phone from itscharger on the bedside table. He sort of dreaded to unlock it, flopping downagain against the pillows.

Whatsapp: [Hanna]: Did you get home okay?

There went that funny feeling in his chest again. The dumb,pathetic one that raised its head any time Hanna so much as acknowledged himthese days.

He took a moment to scroll up through their chat log, noting allthe times she’d tried to initiate conversation, to reach out to him - but ithad been too painful for him to do anything other than leave her on read orblow off her offers to catch up.

[You]: Yeah lol, all thanks to Matteo

She read the reply pretty much instantly. Jonas nervouslychecked his other messages (firing one off to Matteo in both appreciation andapology), and flicked through a couple of apps, waiting for... literallyanything.

He tended to miss her most in the quiet moments. Where she’d beexactly here on the other side of the bed, stretched out beside him, or cuddledin close to or around him. Just existing together. Totally at ease.

When she didn’t say anything in response, Jonas feltinevitability creeping round the corner. He had the insatiable itch to run awayfrom this situation, to avoid it, shut down communication, quash it down andpretend it wasn’t an issue. If there was one flaw Jonas had that he was nowcompletely self-aware about, it was his tendency towards avoidance and wilfulignorance rather than facing issues head on and dealing with them outright. Howthat allowed things to spiral and blow out of proportion and control.

It led to destruction and pain for all involved.

So, basically, he knew he had to put on his big boy pants andactually deal with this. He couldn’t imagine walking into school and seeingHanna every day with this dark cloud hanging over them, as much as he’d beensulking and wallowing this past while.

Taking a deep breath, Jonas started to record a voice message.

[ “ Hey. I, uh... I understand if you’d rather not, but do you...want to meet? Like, later today maybe? What I did last night was shitty and Ijust want to apologise face to face. You deserve that much. If not - that’scool. Bye “ ]

 [ SAMSTAG ; 15:31 ]

 Every nerve in Jonas’s body buzzed with nervous energy, practicallyvibrating where he sat in the little booth, right in the corner of the coffeeshop as he waited for her.

The coffee shop was dimly lit, cosy (with seating that was actually comfy), not far from school,and served the best homemade coffee cake they’d ever had.

It was strange; the place was as comfortingly familiar asit always had been, but the overall vibe felt… off. He and Hanna used to come and waste so much time in here theywere practically on first name basis with some of the baristas, but he didn’trecognise anyone behind the counter that day. Big, ornate maps hung on theaged, wood-panelled walls in decoration, and had prompted countlessconversations between the two of them about all the places they wanted to seewhen they left school.

Hanna talked wistfully of having wanted to go on a girls’holiday with Leonie and the rest to somewhere warm; like Italy, or maybeGreece, before all the drama and had shit not hit the fan as badly as it did.

(Looking back, Jonas feels guilty about not taking the sadnessin her voice as seriously as he should have. More examples of his God-giventalent for wilful ignorance. Maybe it was easier to pretend and convincehimself that she was okay).

Jonas talked, somewhat jokingly (but also sort of not) aboutwanting to go with Matteo and the boys to Amsterdam.

But the best conversations were the ones about the tripsthey’d promise to take together. Most ideas were far-fetched, dumb and probablynot feasible (at least finance-wise) anyway, but it was fun and dreamy enoughjust to talk about and imagine going on adventures to all those cool places withher.

“OnceI’m selling out arenas all over Europe, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go”

This is Jonas’s first visit back to this place the break-up.

His leg jiggled incessantly up and down and he worried athis lip with his teeth.

Eventually, the door opened and he saw a familiar head ofred hair. And his heart promptly dropped into his stomach.

“Hi…” she greeted carefully, approaching a littlecautiously before sliding into the seat across from him. She looked tired.

A ghost of a smile twitched at her lips as she nodded downtowards the table, upon which sat what was recognisable to her as her usual drinkof choice, and between her cup and his, a plate with a slice of coffee cake onit. One fork.

“You didn’t have to”

He shrugged.

“It’s nothing. Call it penance, or a peace offering orsomething”

Hanna nodded and took a sip from her cup, then picked upthe fork.

“I’m not sharing this with you, by the way” she said, hervoice edged with a slight hint of playfulness.

“It’s all yours” he replied, throwing his hands up inmock-surrender.

“Knowing you, you probably already had a piece before I gothere”

“More like, ‘couldn’t stomach it’”

The comment appears to yank Hanna’s mind back to the matterat hand; why they’re actually here. And it wasn’t for coffee, cake, and mutualreminiscing. Her face fell back into a serious expression.

An extended beat of awkward silence settles over the table.Neither look directly at each other, and neither speak. As if they’re bothwaiting for the other to go first.

Jonas is the first to crack.

“Look – I’m reallysorry about what happened last night. The position I put you in; it was unfair.I was w-”

“Wasted. Yeah, I could tell”

Jonas felt guilt settle in his stomach, her accusing tonecutting somewhere deep inside him. He started fidgeting with his hands under thetable.

“I don’t mean it as an excuse, just… explanation”

“You were always a sad drunk” she commented.

He laughed humourlessly.

“That’s why I smoke weed so much more than I drink. Well –apart from recently, obviously”

It was true. Even in back when things were normal, he had anotoriously small barrier between ‘fun and tipsy’ and ‘drunk and maudlin’. Hedidn’t always like who he was when he drank, but somehow between now and thenthat fact had become easier to disregard.

He looked across at her sincerely, body suddenly still andat peace, and she slowly met his gaze.

“Honestly, I’m really sorry if I made you feeluncomfortable. I’d never intentionally do that to you, I was just… too drunk.And upset”

Hanna nodded in acceptance, but her face remained serious.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Forget about it. But for real,man – what’s been up with you these past few weeks?”

“You know what’s beenup with me”

“I don’t really, seeing as every time I try and talk to you,you shut me out!”

“You can’t have it both ways, Hanna! You broke up with me,which I understand, but it hurt. Itstill hurts, clearly. And it hurts even more you trying to be my friend rightnow because it feels too close to what we had before, and it’s playing with my feelings”he explained, visibly frustrated.

She looked as if the words had reached out and slapped her.Fuck, he hated disappointing her but what more could he do now than just tellthe truth.

“It was easier before school started again. Before we hadto see each other every day, and Matteo started talking to your girls, andCarlos got involved with Kiki. I thought I had it together but all theproximity just made me realise how not over you I actually was” Jonascontinued, speaking more honestly than he had in a long time, even to himself.It was these sorts of thoughts he’d been running from – clouding in smoke, drowningin alcohol, and blocking out with the deafening club music.

Thoughts he didn’t entertain because they made him feelpathetic whilst Hanna was out there being amazing and having the time of herlife. That made him wonder why he couldn’t be like that too.

Hanna’s expression turned sympathetic. Almost painfully soft

“I get where you’re coming from. And I’m sorry for tryingto force something you weren’t ready for. It’s selfish, but I just… reallymissed you. No matter ‘where’ we are, I’d never want you to not be in my life,so maybe I hung on a bit too tight when I should’ve let you have space”

She took a breath, with which came a steely edge to her voice.Jonas tensed, knowing what it looked like when Hanna had something she needed to say.

“But that being said, in the nicest possible way, you needto pull your head out of your ass with all this dumb self-destructive shit you’redoing. Seriously. All the drinking, getting high in school and before exams,wallowing. If it’s all for dealing with pain, then you’re just going to end uphurting yourself and feeling worse than when you started”

Jonas feels like he shouldfeel patronised or annoyed at what she was saying, but honestly - he was sotired and sick of everything that he knew it was what he needed to hear. Theincident with Hanna last night had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“And if it hurts just to see you like this, I can’t imaginewhat it feels like inside your head. But you owe it to yourself more thananyone to sort things out”.

It was uncomfortable to hear, but it was necessary. He’d beenlooking practically everywhere but her eyes before as it took it in, but suddenlylooked up and met her gaze.

“Be the best version of yourself you can manage, and thebest possible things will come to you” she finished, causing Jonas to have asudden break of hilarity in what should’ve been an otherwise serious moment.

“Did you come up with that last line all by yourself?” he joked,smiling despite himself.

“Okay – it might’ve been something Amira said once, but itwas a good point!”. Her smile mirrored his.

The jokes and laughter felt easier between them, likefamiliar ground. It was a dynamic they both felt comfortable in together, andstill came easy to them. It made Jonas happy to see that was still there atall, though he had his suspicions after the secretly shared smiles between themat the Christmas party.

“I’m excited to see you be ‘you’ again – you deserve to behappy” she said, still smiling at him. It made his chest ache a little, but nowsomehow it felt like a more bearable pain.

“You too. I didn’t realise how much I missed seeing yougenuinely happy until after everything was over”

Hanna smiled solemnly and nodded, taking the final sip ofher coffee that ended up emptying the cup. She unlocked her phone screen infollowing silence to check the time, then looked out to the grey, dimming skiesof Berlin on a winter afternoon.

“I should probably think about heading home. Dad’s home thisweekend and I promised him I’d help him make dinner; ‘bonding time’ apparently”

Jonas chuckled lightly as he started gathering his stufftogether.

“Which we all know to be Hanna-code for ‘watch him peelpotatoes while I sit on insta’” he teased.

She quickly flipped him the bird before getting out infront of him and leading them outside.

He hung around for a second more as she unlocked her bike fromthe rack, more comfortable in a moment alone with Hanna than he had been in along time.

Once the bike was free, she turned to him.

“Remember to be nice to Matteo, by the way. He sulks aroundlike a lost puppy whenever you guys aren’t speaking”

Jonas rolled his eyes.

“Oh c’mon, that was one day!”

“And all that sorrow on his little face for that one daywas almost too much to bear. You need each other”

Assuming she was alluding to the tense situation with Matteo’shomelife, Jonas instantaneously decided that he’d call him when he got back.Thank him properly and check in.

They hesitated for a second after that, prompting a silenceJonas didn’t know quite what to do with. Hug her? Wave?

“Thanks for meeting with me. It helped a lot – and I’msorry, again” he settled on, with a curt nod.

“No worries. I’m glad we did it too. See you around”

Then she cycled away, and he stood there watching herleave, icy wind whipping her hair about her face as she rode.

Jonas leaned up against the lamp-post he was standingbeside and pulled out his little pouch of rolling tobacco and papers, making acigarette for himself and lighting it. The first inhale immediately calmed him.

Of course, not everything had magically been fixed and maderight. He still loved her more than he’d ever imagined loving anyone, he still missedher so much it ached – their laughs, their intimacy, her overall presence inthe world and inclusion in his orbit. It still hurt to feel a distance betweenthem.

But he felt so much… lighter. Like he’d unloaded some arduousburden on his soul by sitting down and having an honest conversation with herabout everything, coming clean about what he felt. And hearing how she sawthings too. It felt like a step forward to something better.

He loved her, and maybe he always would. Maybe he’dnever stop at least a tiny bit of himself from wanting her back – but for thefirst time in a long time it felt possible to accept the reality of the breakup. Perhaps even move on.

At the very least stop sulking around and torpedoing hisown life in self-pity and melodramatic heartache. Feel better about himself.

Inhale.

Exhale.

He set off home, her smile lingering in his mind.

[whimsical-ness]

Oh, Baby! | 04

◇ Link to Masterlist

◇ Sehun series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

◇ Genre: ‘Life As We Know It’ AU, Fluff (involving babies!), Slight Angst

◇ Summary: You and Sehun have always maintained your mutual dislike for one another. But what happens when an unexpected incident leaves the two of you in charge of a baby, together?

◇ Word Count: 2.7k

It was a long while past midnight when you finally heard the click of the lock and the apartment door being shut. 

You slowly got out of bed. You hadn’t been able to sleep. Not with Sehun storming out like that. Not with the hateful things he’d said floating around in your mind.

You hesitantly made your way outside, stopping when you saw Sehun opening the door of the nursery and gazing inside at a sleeping Yuna. With a soft sigh, he shut the door again gently, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw you standing there looking at him.

“Shit, you scared me,” he murmured, running his fingers through his hair. You said nothing, your lips set in a thin line.

Sehun let out a breath. “I didn’t drive. I just went out to clear my head. I swear.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall. “For 2 hours?”

“I was just...thinking. About everything. And about how I reacted. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have burst out at you like that,” he said awkwardly, and you were surprised that he’d even apologized. 

“I’m sorry about what I said about Junmyeon too,” you mumbled, looking at the floor. 

It took two to fuel an argument. He wasn’t the only one to blame, though his immaturity had triggered the whole thing. 

But you didn’t want the negativity anymore. It was stressful.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” he murmured. “She hasn’t ruined my life. If anything, she’s made it better. She’s made me realize how much I need to just grow up.”

You smiled slightly. “Wow. The great Oh Sehun finally owns up and admits he’s immature? Am I dreaming?”

Sehun rolled his eyes and sat down, glancing at you to sit down next to him. “You know,” he started. “When I was 17, I fractured my left leg. It was horrible; I couldn’t walk for over a month, and I hated the crutches. Junmyeon stayed with me that entire summer. Just sat there, watching movies, playing video games. The rest of my friends all went to the beach, or chased girls, but not him. He stayed with me,” he said, his voice heavy. 

You listened, nodding.

“I’d promised myself then. That whenever he needed me, I would be there for him. And I tried to live up to that as much as I could. I can’t...I can’t give up on it now that he’s gone. This is probably when he needs me the most,” he said softly, and with a jolt you saw that his eyes were moist. 

You patted him awkwardly on the arm. “You haven’t given up,” you said. “Yeah, you may feel like it sometimes, but so do I. But we’re pushing through it, Sehun. We’re never going to be able to be the perfect parents for her. And we’re going to have to be okay with that.”

Sehun shut his eyes and swallowed. “You’re right. We don’t have to try and fit into their shoes. We can just be us.”

You gazed around the living room, your eyes pausing on the pictures of Junmyeon and Jisoo, smiling and happy. Sehun’s gaze followed yours. “It feels like a mausoleum, doesn’t it?” he said lowly. You nodded. And then you looked at him, your lips lifting. “How do you feel about a little re-decorating?”

Sehun chuckled. “I never liked that ugly painting on the wall there anyway,” he said, pointing to a confusing modern art piece that you quite frankly had never found attractive either.

Re-decorating it was.

And so gradually, you and Sehun made the apartment feel more like home, and less like a temporary residence. And that meant donating all of Jisoo’s and Junmyeon’s clothes, changing up the furniture, and putting up new pictures on the walls.

It was Sehun’s idea to get the picture of the three of you from Yuna’s first birthday framed. You hung it up on the wall together, and the sight of it warmed your heart every time you saw it, the memory of the moment making you feel both sad, but strangely happy too. 

Yuna seemed to love it too, her face lighting up in joy as she pointed to her face, giggling. 

It was crazy how much she owned your heart. You had always adored her. But now that she was wholly your responsibility, your emotions were tripled. You loved her, even if she wasn’t biologically yours. You loved her just as much as any mother loved her child.

And it was evident that Sehun felt the same way about her, which made you realize that his previous words had really not meant anything at all. Whenever he came home, tired, his face exhausted, one look at Yuna would make him smile, and he would pick her up and give her a kiss on the cheek, his eyes immediately softening.

It was adorable.

Grudgingly you’d had to admit it to yourself. Sehun was adorable.

And it was driving you slightly crazy.

At random times, you felt suddenly awkward around him, not wanting to come out of the bedroom with your face bare and sleepy, or in your sweatpants. Not that Sehun probably even noticed, but a part of you now cared if he did. And this part of you certainly hadn’t cared before.

But now, you made an effort to brush your hair before he saw you in the mornings, did your make up with more interest than you had before, and tried your best not to look so tired all the time. It was a bit ridiculous.

And Sehun noticed. “Are you wearing lipstick this early in the morning?” he asked curiously, sipping a glass of orange juice. You averted his gaze and continued to eat your breakfast. “I always do,” you replied.

“Nuh-uh. No you don’t. No offense, but you almost always look half dead when you wake up,” he said. You glared at him. “Yeah, well, maybe I actually tried to look nicer for once okay? So that you don’t make stupid comments like that,” you retorted.

Shit. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that.

Sehun’s eyebrows perked. “Oh? Since when do you care about what I think?”

You coughed. “I don’t.”

But Sehun was smirking now. “You’re such a bad liar. I knew it. You’ve got a crush on me.”

You nearly spit out your toast. 

“You’re delusional,” you croaked. “I do not have a crush on you.”

Sehun’s smile grew wider. “Yeah you do. I can always tell when a girl is into me. And I’m almost never wrong.”

You felt your cheeks burn. “You’re just full of yourself,” you replied, and quickly got up, feeling extremely embarrassed.

You did not have a crush. You were not going to allow yourself to have a crush. Not on Sehun. Not ever.

But Jesus, was he making this hard for you.

Very soon after, Sehun made it a point to be as distracting as physically possible. He’d walk around the apartment with no shirt on, humming to himself, claiming that it was much too hot.

You had to force yourself to look away from his ridiculously defined torso, and Sehun noticed this, his ever present smirk almost never leaving his stupidly handsome face.

Whenever Hanna was over to look after Yuna, he was extra flirty, making sure to catch your eye to ensure that you saw him. He was purposefully obvious, being overly sweet to her and making her laugh.

You prayed your blatant disdain didn’t show on your face. 

He was almost more insufferable than when you disliked him. But he was making it impossible for you to do that anymore.

You were giving Yuna a bath one day, with her splashing around in the tub, when Sehun came up from behind you and grabbed the hand shower. When you turned to him, bewildered, he grinned and pointed it right at you, and you gasped, the water soaking through your clothes.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed, turning it back at him so that it splashed into his face and soaked him as well. Sehun only laughed, and proceeded to pull his shirt up over his head, throwing it at you for you catch.

You swallowed, turning away from him and to Yuna instead, who was happily playing with her bath toys. Even though you couldn’t see his face, you knew Sehun was smirking.

But you were going to do everything possible to not look at him and his wet body. You wanted to melt into the ground. 

Sehun cleared his throat. “You’re soaking wet,” he observed lazily. “Yeah, thanks to you,” you responded.

It took you a few seconds to realize what that had sounded like. But it was too late.

Sehun chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I see. Do you need some help with that, then?”

You very nearly dropped the hand shower. “Are you crazy?” you snapped. “Stop being such a perv, will you? Just because Hanna isn’t giving you any attention doesn’t mean you can try with me.”

“Only if you want it, darling,” he drawled, and then he was switching off the shower without warning, and pushing you up against the bathroom sink, leaving you very little space to move.

You thought you would stop breathing.

“Why are you doing this?” you whispered. Sehun’s lips curled. “It’s fun. Don’t you think so?” You shook your head. “It’s not fun. You’re an asshole.”

Sehun’s head tilted towards yours, his lips dangerously close to your own. “Sehun,” you warned. “Yuna is literally right there.”

At this, he laughed. “She’s not going understand anything.”

You drew on the little resolve you had, and pushed him away softly. “Stop it. This isn’t going to happen. Ever. You and me together is a disaster waiting to happen. We didn’t even make it to our first date,” you reminded him, feeling unsteady.

Sehun shrugged. “We just didn’t give each other a chance. I’ve realized things, since then. About you. About myself. If you just—”

You cut him off with a shake of your head. “I don’t even want to talk about this. Leave me alone.”

Sehun sighed. “You’re so stubborn. I’ve always found it annoying, but nowadays, I just find it hot. Is that weird?”

His outright flirting was making your heartbeat erratic. You ignored him and crouched down, picking up Yuna instead, wrapping her up in a soft towel. 

“Did you enjoy your bath?” you murmured to her, gently wiping the water off her body. You stopped when you eyes caught on to something that didn’t look quite right. There was what looked like a tiny lump on her belly button, something that definitely hadn’t been there before.

You turned to Sehun, all previous thoughts vanishing. “Sehun, look at this. This wasn’t there before,” you said, and Sehun furrowed his eyebrows and looked closer. “Isn’t that just an outie?” he said, and you bit your lip. 

“No, I know what an outie looks like. That’s something else.” Yuna looked up at you and blinked, putting her thumb into her mouth. 

You sighed. “Oh, sweetie. I think it’s time we took you to get a checkup, hm?”

You definitely hadn’t expected this Dr. Park’s clinic to be so crowded when you walked in the next day, seeing the waiting room filled with mothers and fathers and their infants.

You hoisted Yuna up on your hip, finding a seat next to a frazzled looking mother who was trying to make her toddler stop chewing on the plastic flower that was in the vase on the table.

She smiled at you apologetically. “Kids. Sometimes they’re just impossible.”

You smiled back awkwardly. “Is it your first time getting her to Dr. Park?” she enquired, smiling down at Yuna.

You nodded. “It’s not her first time, but it’s mine,” you said. “But I’ve heard a lot about him. Is he really that good?”

The woman nodded vigorously. “Oh my, he’s simply the best in the city. He just has a way with kids. It’s like magic. And he’s an amazing doctor. He can identify what’s wrong in just a few minutes once he’s had a look. I don’t trust anybody but him with my son.”

Now you were extremely curious to meet him. “It’s a shame really, that such a lovely man like that is still unmarried and single,” sighed the lady. “Any girl in her right mind would date him.”

You laughed awkwardly. “Wow.”

And then soon, it was Yuna’s turn, and you almost nervously made your way inside his room, Yuna in your arms. 

Dr. Park had his head down, writing something fervently on a sheet of paper. He looked up as soon as he heard you come in though, and you almost let out a soft “Oh!” when you met his eyes.

Jisoo had been right, for once.

Dr. Park was incredibly handsome. He had the prettiest almond shaped eyes you’d ever seen, and adorable pointy ears that stuck out from behind his fluffy black hair. He almost looked like an elf prince from a fairytale.

He smiled widely. “Why hello Yuna! It’s been a long time!”

Yuna giggled as you placed her down on the baby’s cot. You smiled awkwardly. 

Dr. Park returned the smile warmly. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of being acquainted with you before miss...”

“Y/N,” you finished for him. “I’m Y/N, Yuna’s...guardian.”

Dr. Park’s eyes immediately softened. “I heard about the accident. What a terrible loss,” he said gently. You swallowed. 

He cleared his throat, turning to Yuna. “Hiya, little one. Is everything okay with you?”

Yuna grasped on to one of Dr. Park’s large ears and he laughed, tapping her lightly on the nose. “Is she, uh, sleeping okay?” he asked you, putting his stethoscope into his ears. 

You nodded. Dr. Park passed his stethoscope over Yuna’s back softly. You bit your lip. “She does have this protrusion on her stomach and I...I don’t know what it is. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be looking for,” you said softly.

Dr. Park furrowed his eyebrows. “Let’s have a look.”

He pushed Yuna’s t-shirt over her stomach, running his thumb gently over the little lump on her belly-button. 

“I just...I don’t know much about kids, you know?” you confessed suddenly. “My friend Jisoo, she was the first of my friends to have a baby, and she was so great with Yuna—she would have been the one I would have called about something like this—”

You broke off, your voice breaking. You didn’t know what had come over you suddenly. Why were you spilling your worries to this complete stranger who didn’t even know you?

But Dr. Park smiled sadly. “Don’t beat yourself up,” he said softly. 

You blinked back sudden tears that you hadn’t realized had formed in your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, embarrassed. “It’s just...it’s killing me that I can’t talk to my friend. That she’s gone forever.”

He shook his head. “She would be proud of you, I think. To see you being so brave, and being such a great mother to Yuna.”

You let out a shaky breath.

“Yuna got an umbilical hernia,” he started, and upon seeing your widened eyes quickly continued. “But it’s nothing to worry about. Most go away on their own,” he said, and you sighed in relief. “So I didn’t do it?”

“You didn’t do it,” he confirmed, grinning. He patted Yuna’s head. “We’ll keep an eye on it. But for now, you’re good to go!”

You picked Yuna up, meeting his gaze once more. “Thank you, Dr. Park,” you said, giving him your most genuine smile. “For...everything.”

You felt your heart skip unevenly when he smiled back, his eyes creasing at the edges adorably. “Please,” he said warmly. “Call me Chanyeol.”

As you left, giving him a little wave, your chest felt much lighter, fluttery at the prospect of meeting him again sometime.

Who would’ve thought that Yuna’s doctor would prove a welcome distraction from the nuisance that was Oh Sehun?

A/N: And the cute Dr. Park finally makes his appearance! What do we think? :)

[ultraviolet-fox]

rant

don’t read if you’re sensitive to certain topics

this is something I’ve been through recently and I need to let it out. I saw Gabbie Hanna’s video today and it really sparked up some feelings about my personal life.

Recently ive been in a toxic friendship. It was good at first I’m not gonna lie but it quickly started to turn to shit. for the first 6 months it was fine but then he started to catch feelings for me. I had a boyfriend at the time so I couldn’t date him nor even felt anything for him so needless to say he got really upset over that. Sometimes he would just ignore me and never talk to me without even telling me what was wrong and I’d get so confused and I would get mad at him for not telling me anything. Like how could I fix anything without him telling me what was wrong? Every time this would happen I would always blame myself first before anything. (This happened a few times and I was in a really dark place so I would always make excuses for him.) I got so fed up one time and he told me it was because he liked me, that he ignored me because he couldn’t bear the thought of not having me. Of course I felt really bad and I tried to comfort him but he just, wasn’t there anymore? Like I said, I was really fucking depressed so I would do anything to make him feel better which led me to kiss him while I was still in a relationship. My biggest regret to this day. I told my boyfriend afterwards and we broke up obviously. Having just broken up with someone, I was so mentally fucked and I needed a friend with me so I had him. I would do anything to make him happy.

Though he’d always get so upset because he would always think about the fact that he could never have me instead of being appreciative over the friendship we did have. I always gave in and gave him what he wanted because I needed a friend and it seemed like he was the only one there for me. I always let him kiss me, fuck me, touch me, even when I didn’t want it. But I never wanted to stop it because I knew, I knew he would blame himself. And that was my weakness.

I want to please everyone as much as I could. And I did please him. But at the cost of my mental health.

I would always be the one to end it but eventually one hang out would lead to us making out and me feeling guilty about it after. But I couldn’t say no. How could I? After I said no, he’s always so depressed and I felt like I had to babysit him to make sure he felt okay.

He told me he loved me multiple times and honestly I believe it. The way he looks at me, talks to me, talks about me, I do believe he loves me—but no one should ever treat someone they love like this.

He would get jealous even over the little things. He would get upset over me hanging out with my girl friends, guy friends, hell—even my own boyfriend when I had one. He got so upset because apparently I was “having fun with them and I couldn’t with him.” He was so possessive over me, even though I wasn’t even dating him. That was a red flag but I proceeded to ignore it.

I eventually felt like I had to cut off all of my friends and only hang out with him to make him happy. Here’s another thing: I’m a really shitty texter, I prefer irl shit but he couldn’t get over that fact. He claimed I’m not a shitty texter and I just choose to be one. And you know what, I believed him. So I actually started putting effort into talking to him. I texted him so often because I knew that’s what he wanted. I’m that kind of person that never texts anyone for a week but always asks people to hang out but he couldn’t grasp on to that. He got so upset when I wouldn’t text him for a week, even though I’m not obliged to text him every single fucking day.

Not only that, whenever I would complain about anything about my life, he would be so unsympathetic. Actually—he would, but it would always end up being about him and his life problems rather than mine. It’s like he doesn’t even listen?? I remember I was complaining about my mom and how rude she is, and this fucked proceeds to say “that’s weird, your mom usually seems supportive of you” like ?????? Excuse me ?????????? I’m literally complaining about my mom and you say that, basically disregarding everything I’m saying ??????? But I brushed it off. Because that’s what I do. I’m so afraid to lose friends so I keep them around even if it meant sacrificing my mental health.

Here’s a deeper darker story, we were at school for a fundraiser and we saw each other and started talking. Of course I was still his friend because I was so naive at the idea that he was emotionally abusing me. I ended up confessing everything I’ve been feeling for the past month. My depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc. I told him all that. He was really sympathetic and asked if we could go to my house and so I said yeah we can. We started talking and I noticed him get a bit flustered. I ignored it because I thought he would have self control but I was wrong. He pulled me on his lap and tried to kiss me but I said no. He asked why not one more time? And I said, we always say one more time but there’s never one more time. He got really upset and he wouldn’t talk to me and I just wanted him to talk to me so I asked maybe we should cuddle? And it worked, he did feel better but at what cost? He eventually started touching me and I kept grabbing his hand and trying to stop him but he wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t say anything because I don’t know why? I could’ve said something—why didn’t I? He took off my clothes while he took off his and then started to have sex with me, I didn’t like it at all but I knew if I said no he would hate himself. I eventually got so fed up that I told him stop. I said stop. Multiple times. But he didn’t stop. But after that we sat down. He tried sitting down next to me but I didn’t let him get too close to me. He eventually left and I couldn’t get over what happened. In a way it felt like I asked for it. Because I was the one that asked him to cuddle, but I was the one that couldn’t say stop at first, because I was the one that couldn’t stop his hand from touching me. I was mad at him and confronted him about it but he apologized for it and for some reason I believed his intentions were good. But I never should’ve been his friend. I hate saying the word rape because it seems so weird that a friend would rape me. And it feels like I’m calling out for attention. But it was. Anyone can do this to you and it fucked me up. But I kept being his friend because I needed one.

After a month there was a time was when I led him on a bit. And I admit that. I led him on because that certain day was so perfect, I had to have attention. He asked me out and I said, wait for my answer because I love the mystery. And this was a time when it was going good for once. But A few days past and I’ve been thinking about it, thinking about the fights we’ve had and how incompatible we actually were and no matter how much I forced myself to thinking that I liked him, I didn’t. It was one of those where you know you’re gonna break up. And I couldn’t have that. I told him no and he got so upset/confused. He asked me to talk irl and we eventually did.

Fun fact: he never actually told me we were talking at my house so when our friend dropped me off at my house, he got out of the car with me and it sparked a curiousity in our friend. So not only, was there drama in our relationship, he had to make our drama THEIRS. but there’s more to that later :)

So there we were at my house. And he asked me all these questions saying why? Why would you do this. And I said sorry for leading you on but I mentally cannot get myself to date you. And he tried so hard to convince me rather than just accepting the answer no. He said “why not test the waters out? Why not just date me?” Like are you fucking serious? I repeatedly said no, and that was the first time I have EVER said no to him. He tried to kiss me but I rejected him and I told him, I’ve been “hoeing” around a lot, you don’t want to date a girl like me. And this fucker said to me “if you’re such a hoe why can’t I convince you to do it with me?” And I Just was in disbelief that he just fucking said that to me. I replied with excuse me? And he apologized and that was when I realized, I can’t date a guy who even remotely thinks that’s an okay thing to say to someone. I repeatedly told him no and then he started overthinking and got really upset and got his friend to pick him up. It was only until later, I realized he sent his friend a message “hey not to use you as an Uber or anything, but can you pick me up later? I’m about to do something really hard” SOOOOOO NOT ONLY DID HE SPARK IN INTEREST IN OUR FRIEND THAT DROPPED US OFF, HE TEXTED ANOTHER FRIEND THAT ONLY LEAVING UNANSWERED QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. he literally made what was our business, their business, his whole entire friend group was in on it now and that made me so fucking mad.

I eventually met up with the friend that dropped us off later that day and I told him everything that happened. He comforted me and told me he understands, and that he and all of his other friends are on my side rather than his which is such a relief to hear because there has been rumors about me and the other guy.

After that whole situation I was still his fucking friend for some reason. We hung out for one day and my mom suddenly decided to ground me so I couldn’t go out anymore. I was okay with staying home but I didn’t talk to anyone for a week.

This fucker proceeds to unfollow me on social media, and not only that, asks me to remove him from Snapchat. Call me an over dramatic person or whatever, but you don’t fucking ask someone that?? Like 1. It was so fucking uncalled for and 2. What kind of fucking person asks someone to remove them from Snapchat? And it just made me so mad because the amount of times he would get mad at me for removing him from my social media’s.

FYI: I have a spam account on Instagram and I post stuff about me drinking/smoking and he gets upset at me whenever I do it so I just remove him whenever I post about that

But anyways, I got so fed up and i realized all the shitty things he has ever done to me. I know he misses me but god I don’t miss him. He never appreciated our friendship one bit, he only wanted more. I broke up with my boyfriend to make him fucking happy. He manipulated, mentally and physically abused me. And now I am so drunk on the idea that no one is ever going to love me for who I really am. Because that relationship fucked me over so hard.

[thisisdefinitelyaboutyou-blog]

‘13 reasons why’ episode 13; season 1 finale.

I understand this is the one with the suicide scene. I think I might be able to watch that. Maybe. If I trigger myself I will laugh so fucking hard.

Hannah’s giving life one last try. Somehow that’s how I ended up living until 32. Sometimes I think that’s my biggest mistake of all.

Only sometimes though. Right now I’m generally okay with existing.

Hannah’s shrugs off her ‘suicide project’ as ‘just this stupid thing’. 

And once she purged that shit on tape she felt better. I get that.

She tried to reach out for help. 

But took the razor blades as back up.

Marcus thinks he may have hurt Hannah’s feelings a little bit after trying to sexually assault her. KILL HIM.

“I THOUGHT SHE WANTED TO DATE ME BUT SHE DIDN’T"  D: Just fuck off Marcus.

Clay taped Bryce’s rape confession on side B of the last tape.

Tony seems impressed.

I am (even if I’ve read some spoilers).

Clay <3

Tony has a point about them having sat on evidence for weeks.

Blow it up! Blow the fucking thing up!

Courtney giving her deposition.

Clay and Jess’s convo <3

I understand Jess’s reluctance to report the rape. It must be such a difficult thing to do. I have never had the courage myself. 

I’m glad Clay noted that Hanna let Jess down by not telling her about being raped while unconscious, but I also don’t think Clay can be passing judgement on Hannah’s failure to do so, especially since the girl was already pretty mental at that point. 

Who the fuck is Kat?

Is she the one from the pilot who spoke a bunch of truth and was then written out?

Yeah; with the amount of truth she’s speaking right now it must be her.

Justin and Jess are alive so I’m guessing it’s the nerd kid who shot himself in the head.

Justin, I give exactly zero fucks that you’re homeless.

Is Justin seriously emotionally blackmailing Jess right now?

“Try harder”. Damn Jess, the best line you ever spoke <3

Good Jess. Make that piece of human garbage go away.

Hopefully Justin’ll kill himself now. After killing Bryce.

Hannah is talking to Porter to get help. I’m sure this’ll end well.

If Porter cannot gauge that this Hannah doing suicidal talk he really needs to be removed from that fucking school. ASAP. Even in a fucking bubble a professional would be able to pick up on something being seriously wrong here.

Wow. Turns out Porter is almost an even bigger shit than Justin and Bryce. Almost.

Wow. I cannot believe Porter. Or rather I can, because I’ve dealt with neurotypical healthcare professionals devoid of empathy and they sound exactly like this guy. They’re not all like that of course, but some are. If you meet one, RUN.

“Just help me out here, please?” SHE CAME TO YOU FOR HELP YOU ONE-LEGGED CLOTHES HORSE.

“I need it to stop. I need everything to stop”. Reminds me of my incoherent ramblings during my breakdown :’(

YES CLAY. CALL THIS USELESS PIECE OF SHIT OF A COUNSELLOR OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT.

OMG THAT FUCKING PHONE. PORTER FINALLY HAD THE DECENCY TO PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY. HE ALSO NOTICED HANNAH IS DISTRESSED. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. 

GOOD QUESTION. WHY DID THIS DIPSHIT NOT INFORM HANNAH’S PARENTS OF HER THREATS OF SUICIDE IMMEDIATELY? I think wanting for ‘life to stop’ is a pretty big give away.

Hannah tells Porter he doesn’t want to talk about her being raped. He denies it. Fucking right he doesn’t want to talk about it. Most men shy away from talking about rape. You know, if they don’t do it, it doesn’t exist, even if it is very much happening. LOL seriously fuck this Porter guy.

This fucking useless piece of shit is literally asking Hannah if she’s "done something she regrets" rather than actually considering the possibility that she might have been raped.

Someone needs to walk in with a 44 and blow Porter’s head off.

Oh my God. Is he gaslighting her about her own rape?!

Fuck that. This calls for an AK. 

CANNON!!!!!!

Some of Hannah’s behaviour reminds me of BPD.

How many times have I been in a position where I’m about to kill myself and want to but can’t so I don’t? Too many. 

The hyperventilating. That’s when your fucking survival instinct starts kicking in and starts telling you to fucking stop this tomfoolery. At that point I’m generally like “Fuck you, instinct, I want this. Can you just not let me have some dignity while I finally off myself?”

OMG Mrs Baker finding Hannah is so heartbreaking. She literally cannot compute and is talking to her as if she were a child who grazed her knee :’(

Porter, stop fucking acting like you suddenly care now that someone;’s called you out on your bullshit, You knew what Hannah had been through, but you only suddenly care because people are going to find out what an utterly useless and irresponsible cheap excuse for a therapist you are. 

A lot of people failed Hannah and Porter is right up there.

Clay and Skye. Kinda cute. I’m nit a big Skye fan because of the yikes shit she said about Hannah’s killing herself, but yeah.

Wait, so if nerd kid/Tyler is still alive (and thus hasn’t shot himself in the head), that leaves... RYAN? YOU SERIOUS?

But nerd kid is still stockpiling guns?

Oh no. Please tell me he’s not stockpiling guns to do a school-shooting followed up by 13 tapes explaining why he did it in season 2.

Please.

Tony giving the Bakers Hannah’s tapes. Seems awful but necessary.

Of course Justin crawled back to Bryce.

But they’re parting ways for good now.

I’m so, so glad Jess felt like she could open up to her dad <3

I want to hug her and hold her and tell her it’s going to be okay somehow goddamit, even if it isn’t. Legit tears right now,

NO NOT FUCKING ALEX NO.

NOT ALEX. 

NO.

[underabr0kensky]

150 random questions (for anon)

1.) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations? Low expectations. That way if shit goes south you expected it but if it actually works out it’s a pleasant surprise.

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year? TV, if by that you mean no watching TV shows since I barely do that anyway. If you mean go without using a TV entirely, probably junk food.

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman. I honestly don’t have one. Just someone I click with who can be my best friend and will take the good with the bad, because there’s a lot of bad unfortunately. I suck lol.

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes? I don’t really care, sure they’re annoying, but at least it keeps people from feeling like shit about not being able to afford nice clothes and whatnot if everyone has to wear the same thing. What does get annoying is how ridiculous people get about what’s “acceptable” for girls to wear so they’re not “distracting”. Bra straps are a thing. Get over it.

5.)Any strange phobias? Nah, just standard fear of spiders and needles.

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit? What a weird question. It’d be kinda funny to see him shoveling shit.

7.) Who was your first crush? Her name was Jessie, I was in 3rd grade.

8.) Who was your first best friend? Uhh. Fuck, I’m not sure. Maybe John, I can’t remember how old we were.

9.)What is one weird thing about you? I keep a list of all the horror movies I’ve ever watched and update it regularly. I’m well into the 400s.

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch? Game of Thrones, House M.D., Criminal Minds, Hell’s Kitchen, and Lost.

11.) What are your favorite boys names? I don’t really have any tbh. Never really thought about it.

12.) What are your favorite girls names? Rachel, Jess/Jessica, Sam, Katie, Hanna.

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? Nope, I do want to get some eventually though.

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? I do plan on getting tats, yes.

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? Nope and nope.

16.) Do you like hugging people? Fuck yeah, if it’s the right people. I love hugs.

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now.  Who did you think of? Abby, I wonder how she’s doing.

18.) Do you have an iPhone? No, but I kinda want one.

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? Getting rejected by this job interview on Tuesday, I guess.

20.) Do you watch anime? Yes I do. Seasonally.

21.) What brings true happiness? Financial stability.

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? I paid 6 months of rent all at once when I got my first apartment because we didn’t make FIVE FUCKING TIMES the rent. Cunts.

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? Being a musician, because music keeps me sane and it’s really the only thing I’ve ever considered doing long-term.

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? Hell no. Never.

25.) Name and describe someone who you feel most comfortable around. My friend Hanna, I can talk to her about whatever and vent to her if I need to. Taylor too.

26.)If you could invent a holiday, what would it be? National Spaghetti Weekend. A federal holiday. Having that weekend off would be mandatory and all Italian-themed restaurants would give half off on their pastas.

27.)Would you rather have summer weather or winter weather all year round? Summer. I fucking hate winter like you don’t even know.

28.) If you could make an alien race, describe what they would look like. Uhh. They would probably have evolved past the need for a physical form so they’d just be invisible (or visible, I dunno) clouds of consciousness.

29.)  What was the first thing you learned to cook? Spaghetti and meatballs.

30.) Describe your sense of humor. Very dark and sarcastic. Most people are unnerved by it at first so I tone it down around strangers.

31.) What is the key to happiness? Financial stability and being with someone you love.

32.) How many phone numbers do you have committed to memory? Whose numbers are they? My dad’s, my friend Jackie’s, and mine. That’s literally it.

33.) Name three songs that make you want to dance. Wop, Shots, and Trap Queen.

34.) What job did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be a driver in the demolition derby and then a paleontologist.

35.) Do you have any talents or skills? Yeah, I play guitar/bass/harmonica/some drums and I can sing, and I’m fairly good with computers. Also good at writing.

36.) What was the worst punishment you’ve ever had? Getting grounded from my video games for like a month back in middle school. Shit sucked.

37.) Did you ever do anything weird as a child? Yeah, I liked to pick clovers and eat them.

38.) What is your dream car? Lamborghini Diablo SE-30.

39.)  Describe something that made you laugh this week. I was watching videos about big cats chasing laser pointers earlier.

40.) Did you have a dream last night? If so, describe it. Nope, last night was too solid of a sleep because of all the wine.

41.)  Do you ever have repetitive dreams? Describe it/them. No, generally all my dreams are different, but sometimes they’ll be about the same person.

42.) Describe the worst/ scariest dream you’ve ever had. Shit I don’t remember. My dreams usually aren’t scary. I did have a dream a few months ago that my friend died in a terrorist attack or something, that freaked me out.

43.) Describe the best dream you’ve ever had. I won the lottery. And then woke up pissed the fuck off.

44.) If God himself gave you a choice of either having unlimited money for the rest of your life or finding your one true love starting tomorrow, which one would you choose (keep in mind, you are still able to make a ton of money if you choose love, and you are still able to meet your soul mate if you choose money)? Soul mate, absolutely.

45.) If you could do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) right now without consequences, what would you do and why? Take Emma Watson on a date and then bang her into next century.

46.) Do you have any recipes that you know off the top of your head? What is it/ what are they? Yeah, spaghetti and meatballs, lasagna, Fettuccine chicken Alfredo. 

47.) Do you have your license? If so, do you have a car? Yes and yes.

48.) Have you ever had a near death experience? Yup, car crash in third grade.

49.) Do you personally know anyone that has been to prison? Nope not personally.

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight? Yeah, a few times.

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? Towel dry a bit and then air dry. Who has time to blow dry that shit?

52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? I usually sneak in a bottle of vodka or whiskey, buy a Coke, dump out a shitload of it and then cut it with the vodka. Makes movies a lot more fun.

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? Fuck yes, but I haven’t been in years. And I don’t mind getting wet, swimming is fun.

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nah, do people actually do that?

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? Control fire. Always wanted to surround myself with fire whenever I’m pissed off.

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? Whenever I got bored or when the world got too shitty to handle.

57.) What do you think happens after you die? I don’t think jack shit happens.

58.) Do you believe in aliens? I’m a healthy skeptic but it seems pretty retarded to just discount the possibility of aliens considering how fucking massive the universe is.

59.) Do you believe in ghosts? I’d like to. Never seen any evidence firsthand but I won’t completely write it off.

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world? Not really. Seems kind of far-fetched. But I do wanna fuck with a Ouija board and do everything you’re not supposed to do just to see what I piss off.

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make? Dragons motherfucker.

62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? I tan. I can burn too, it just depends.

63.) Describe your shower routine. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash.

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? High school was a joke but I met some cool people there, college was a fucking waste of money and I’m glad I dropped out.

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? Alone.

66.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? None of those.

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? Visiting Jess in South Dakota. Also my 21st birthday.

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? Mr. Bear is the one I remember the most. And Babas the clown. 

69.)Do you have any pets? I wish.

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. Whatever the hell I feel like putting on. Usually a T shirt and jeans.

71.)  Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. The exact same thing.

72.)  Create a character right now.  Give them a name, age, and character description. Fluffybutt McSnugglekins. She’s a 2 year old tortoiseshell kitty.

73.)What was the last thing you bought? Fuck if I know, I’ve been broke for a while. Probably bread or a bottle of vodka.

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? I’ve bought a lot of CDs, the most recent one was Metallica’s newest album.

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. A brownie sundae. Make sure the brownie is warm.

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? Immediate winning of Power Ball.

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? I like boxing workouts, I need to get back into doing those.

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? Scooby Doo and Inspector Gadget.

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse. I probably wouldn’t because I’d be too excited that the world had finally ended to be careful. I’d make sure to always keep a sidearm on me though so I could shoot myself if the zombies were closing in.

80.)What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? You can say whatever you want as long as the wrong people don’t overhear you.

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? It would depend on the person. And the people I’d be saving.

82.) How’s the weather right now? It’s a little chilly, I wish winter would fuck off.

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? It’s a road covered in red leaves.

84.)Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? A job that you love. You can’t pay away misery.

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? My iPod dock.

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? Nope, just quit a lot of them.

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? Yeah, I won some Tee Ball trophies when I was a kid, also won a spelling bee once.

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? Yup, it’s a lot of band and music-related stuff.

89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? No, I love the dark.

90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? Skydiving.

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? Emma Watson because I am fucking in love with her, Peter Dinklage because I bet he’s a fun as fuck dude to hang out with, and Hugh Jackman because he could give me voice lessons and seems like a generally good guy.

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? Depends on my mood, usually yes.

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? Nah, there have been some Super Bowl commercials that were fun but I’ve forgotten them.

94.) Do you like your handwriting? My handwriting sucks lol.

95.) Cable TV or Netflix? Netflix. Cable is so unnecessary.

96.) What are your favorite smells? Freshly cut grass, bourbon, cooking food, and Hawaiian Aloha Febreze.

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? Yeah, I’m a lot stronger than I look.

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not. I can’t remember exactly what was said, I was with my girlfriend at the time in her car, we were fighting, she said something that pushed my buttons and I hauled off and screamed at her.

99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? Usually. Furry babies make me happy.

100.)What is your most embarrassing moment? When I danced with my crush in like 4th grade, I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it? Nobody super close. My friend Shannon died when she was 16 but we hadn’t talked in a few years. It was still really shitty, still think about her sometimes.

102.)  Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house. Grab a weapon, whether it’s one of my swords or my shotgun. Prepare to end someone.

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female? I wouldn’t mind trying life as a female.

104.)  What shampoo do you use? Whatever I pick up. Usually Aussie or Pantene.

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous. I have no idea and I don’t feel like Googling it.

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away? I usually look at them right away. Except for my email, my inbox is a cesspit.

107.)  Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house? It’s like a 10 minute drive or so.

108.)  If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on? A fully paid off house, a fully paid off car, lots of musical equipment, a shitload of expensive ass food, and the rest on lottery tickets.

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten? My own spaghetti and meatball recipe. I like it better than actual Italian food made by immigrants.

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people). My best friend, Taylor, and Emma Watson.

111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often? Fuck. All the fucking time.

112.) What is your personal definition of success? Just not wanting to die every single day.

113.) How was your day today? It was alright, I got a job interview.

114.) What is the closest Big City you live by? I live right outside of Nashville.

115.) Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah, 3 of them. Only driving for 1 though.

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents? A lot of things.

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do? Not be depressed.

118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid? Ugly and smart.

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life? Man of Steel. God, that movie is terrible.

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go. Go away, depression.

121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for: Breaking a window, breaking your arch-enemy’s skull, smashing open a bottle of wine because you don’t have a corkscrew.

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be? I’m not even gonna attempt that because humans are far too shitty for a “dream society” to exist. I’d love to do away with money ruling everything though, and racist/homophobic/overzealous religious types would have no place in it.

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why? I’d love to make a mini octopus. Because they’re the shit. And they’re geniuses, they’ll take over the world eventually.

124.) What are your favorite candle scents? I like pine.

125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why? I have no idea, the least intensive one.

126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex? I usually find myself with more female friends than male, but my two best friends are male and female.

127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it? Something to do with mental disorders and researching cures and shit. I have no idea how I’d go about raising money, charities are hard. Maybe fundraisers.

128.) Describe the body you wish you had. Basically my body but a lot more lean and toned.

129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title. I want to make an atmospheric psychological horror movie. The characters would probably just be random college students, but they’d be tormented by crazy psychological shit. Like one of them goes into a room and the door vanishes, they freak out and bang on the walls for what seems like hours and then their friends come in like “What the fuck are you freaking out about”. Fun shit like that.

130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050? Entirely different. I can’t even guess at how, but it would obviously be very different.

131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Bourbon.

132.) Do you have a problematic friend? Yeah, a couple of them.

133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner? Spontaneous. Plans are lame.

134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be? I’m pretty cool with my name.

135.) What is one song that describes your life? “Never Enough”

136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for? Breaking Bad, everyone says it’s so good.

137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time? Hell no, I can’t let of anyone.

138.) Do you like children? Why or why not? Nah, they just kind of annoy me most of the time.

139.) What is your zodiac sign? Libra.

140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people? Sort of, but no, never.

141.) Name some of your favorite colors. Black, dark red, silver, green.

142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it? Yes. Food, Magic cards, headphones, a toothbrush, a comb, a DVD, I think that’s it.

143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be? Spanish, Italian, and Japanese.

144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble? Nothing serious, but yeah.

145.) Have you ever had surgery? Nope. Probably should though, my shoulder is fukt.

146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why? I’d get rid of my depression and be in much better shape.

147.) What do you want done with your body after you die? Probably cremation.

148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them? Hair, eyes, and jaw line. Everybody thinks my hair and eyes are pretty and I’ve been told I have a “strong jaw”.

149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do? It’d be cool to have my own record label.

150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest? My best friend, I’ve known him for like 15 years or so.