#so when she leaves uni late and is set to arrive early i offer her to stay here

[blackdiamondwrites127]

The Royal House of Trastámara (Redux)

So since the Trastámara family has become even more complete with the addition of Juan, I figured I'd make redo of this post! So here are the daughters and son of the Royal House of Trastámara.

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Isabella of Aragon, Queen of Portugal

The eldest child of Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castille, Isabella was named after her mother and became the heir presumptive to the Crown of Castille after her mother took the throne from her uncle Henry IV of Castille. She was betrothed and married to Prince Afonso, heir and only son of John II of Portugal. Her marriage with the prince was a happy one but unfortunately, Afonso died due to a riding accident and Isabella vowed never to marry again. Until six years later, after the death of John II of Portugal, his brother, Manuel I of Portugal, usurped the throne and asked for Isabella's hand in marriage. Her parents offered Maria's hand instead out of respect to Isabella's wishes to never marry again but Manuel refused. Eventually, she married him and became queen consort of Portugal. She later gave birth to her only son, Miguel de Paz, Prince of Portugal, and due to her poor health and constant travelling during the later stages of her pregnancy, she died within an hour of her son's birth.

In her second life, Isabella owns and works in her own music shop located just below her flat. She sometimes fills in for Maria on the drums whenever she's sick and just generally enjoys the simple things in her second life. She's grown to be very passive due in this life and can be quite sarcastic at times which may come off as rude but she means well. However, bad mouth her younger sister she'll go after you.

Isabella Trastámara belongs to @lexartsstuff.

John, Prince of Asturias

was the only son of Isabella I of Castile and Ferdinand II of Aragon who survived to adulthood. John was born in Seville in 1478 to the sovereigns of Castile, Isabella I and Ferdinand II. John's birth helped consolidate Isabella's position as sovereign as she had given birth to a legitimate male heir. At the time of his birth, he had one elder sister Isabella; his younger sisters were Joanna, Maria, and Catherine. During his early years, Isabella and Ferdinand came to plan a double alliance with Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, for the marriage of his children, Archduke Philip the Handsome and Archduchess Margaret of Austria. On 20 January 1495 in Antwerp, a preliminary alliance, which included a wedding of Prince John with Maximilian's daughter was agreed. Similarly, Maximilian's son Philip and John's sister Joanna were to be married. Joanna left Spain to marry Philip the Handsome in late 1496. Philip's sister, Margaret of Austria, aged 18, married John on April 3 the following year in Burgos Cathedral. It was a good marriage and John was devoted to Margaret. On 4 October 1497, a messenger came to John's parents and informed them that their son lay dangerously ill in Salamanca. He and his wife Margaret had arrived a week earlier, on the way to the wedding of his older sister in Portugal. Ferdinand was with his son as John died in the arms of his former tutor Fray Diego Deza. Two months later, on December 8, the Princess of Asturias gave birth to their only child, a stillborn girl.

When he was reincarnated, he found that he was blind in one eye but that didn’t stop him from having the time of his life. He’s very fun loving, happy, energetic and a bit oblivious at times. He’s married to Margaret of Austria, who he calls Maggie. He works as a costume designer for SIX the musical, mainly so he can see his baby sister more. He now goes by Juan rather than John as a ay to stay in touch with his spanish roots.

Juan Trastámara belongs to @weirdbutdecentart100.

Joanna of Castille, Queen of Castille and Aragon

The second eldest daughter of Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castille. Known historically as 'Joanna the Mad' or 'Juana la Loca' in spanish, she was Queen of Castille and Queen of Aragon. Modern Spain evolved from the union of these two kingdoms. Joanna was married by arrangement to Philip the Handsome, Archduke of Austria of the House of Habsburg. Following the deaths of her brother, John, Prince of Asturia, her elder sister Isabella, and her nephew Miguel, Joanna became the heir presumtive to the crowns of Castile and Aragon. When her mother died, Joanna became Queen of Castile. Her father proclaimed himself Governor and Administrator of Castile. Despite being the ruling Queen of Castile, Joanna had little effect on national policy during her reign as she was declared insane and imprisoned in the Royal Convent of Santa Clars in Tordesillas under the orders of her father, who ruled as regent until his death, when she inherited his kingdom as well. When her son Charles I ruled as king, she was nominally co-monarch but remained imprisoned until her death.

In her second life, Joanna or Juana as she preferred to be called, came back a troubled teen. In her misfortune, she was taken in by a very religious and abusive family. The father, named Fernando, would often lock her up in a dark room whenever she had mental breakdowns which are usually bouts of painful laughter. She finally escaped the house and was homeless for years until she found her youngest sister, Catalina. Catalina helped her by housing her until she got back on her feet and got the help she needed for her mental wellbeing.

Juana 'la loca' Trastámara belongs to @ellielovesdrawing.

Maria of Aragon, Queen of Portugal

The third eldest daughter of Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castille. After the untimely death of her older sister, she married her husband Manuel I of Portugal and replaced her as queen of Portugal. As a queen, she wasn't that involved in politics at all and her focus consists mainly of religious teachings, sewing and child rearing. Although, she is sometimes credited for convincing her husband into acts of 'mercy' whenever he flew into a fit of rage. During her marriage and reign as queen, she gave birth to ten children. Eight of whom reached to adulthood. She was constantly pregnant most of her adult life. Only having a few months in between pregnancies and giving birth to her tenth child caused her untimely demise.

Reincarnated into the modern world, Maria woke as a young woman in her early twenties. She's a laid back woman and loves the experience of a good party or a night at a club. She's not as religious as she was in her past life. Not atheistic per se. She'll go to church if she feels like it and even wears a rosary bracelet as some sort of connection to her religion was raised and taught in. She has a friend with benefits that she has fun with weekly. She is 100% childfree in her second life because ten pregnancies in her past life was way more than enough for her. Despite being childfree, she still adores children so she had applied for uni and took up an education course. Graduating after four years and landing her first teaching job at a private academy where Hal and his siblings and cousins go to. That was where she reunited with Catalina during a PTA meeting and the two sisters have never been happier to meet again in their second lives. They then set up a meeting where she reunites with their older sisters, Isabella and Juana.

Maria Trastámara belongs to yours truly.

Catherine of Aragon, Queen of England

The youngest daughter of Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella I of Castille. Catherine was three years old when she was betrothed to Arthur, Prince of Wales, heir apparent to the English throne. They married but Arthur died five months later. She was the first known female ambassador in European history. Catherine subsequently married Arthur's younger brother, Henry VIII. For six months, she served as regent of England while Henry VIII was in France. In 1525, Henry VIII was infatuated with Anne Boleyn and dissatisfied that his marriage to her had produced no surviving sons, leaving their daughter, the future Mary I of England, as heir presumptive at a time when there was no established precedent for a woman on the throne. He sought to have their marriage annulled, setting in motion a chain of events that led to England's schism with the Catholic Church. When Pope Clement VII refused to annul the marriage, Henry defied him by assuming supremacy over religious matters. Their marriage was consequently declared invalid and Henry married Anne on the judgement of clergy in England, without reference to the pope. Catherine refused to accept Henry as supreme head of the Church in England and considered herself the king's rightful wife and queen, attracting much popular sympathy. Despite this, she was acknowledged only as dowager princess of Wales by Henry. After being banished from court by Henry, she lived out the remainder of her life at Kimbolton Castle, and died of cancer.

In her second life, Catherine or Catalina as she prefers to be called to avoid confusion with the other C/Katherines, found herself in a house with her ex husband's five other wives. Tensions were high on the first few months, especially between her and Anne Boleyn but the six soon got things settled and managed to create a family dynamic within their shared home. They created a musical about their stories and garnered quite the success. She mostly acts as the head matriarch of the house. Making sure that everyone was alright and knew not to cause any trouble that might get them hurt. The addition of their children being reincarnated made her even more attentive, caring and loving to her new found family.

[lokis-little-kitten]

Teaching Assistant 12

Loki his lads turn out to be rather nice. Evan has short haze hair and deep brown eyes. He is tall and lean like Loki but with much fewer muscles. He is a dom and does a lot of pet play with his partner. He is rather playful and a bit of a clown but a very loyal one. 

Luke has blonde hair and blue eyes. Not as tall as Loki but he has more muscle which makes him look bulky. He is kind and sweet as he is a Daddy Dom. You knew pretty quickly that he would be one of your favourites. 

James is tall, dark and handsome. He is a sadist and seems the most dangerous but Loki told you you had nothing to worry about. James is a fair man and straightforward. 

Micheal is quieter and he is a switch. He has a Mistress at the moment and is quite soft. He is very caring towards everyone. He has short black hair and dark brown eyes. He has dark skin and quite some muscle on him. 

Loki walks towards the couch and sits down with you still wrapped around him like a monkey. ‘’Hello there, what is your name,’’ Luke asks who is sitting next to Loki. ‘’I’m Y/N,’’ you whisper back at him. Hesitantly you shake his hand and then hide in Loki’s neck. ‘’She’s a shy one,’’ Luke chuckles. Loki tells you all of their names and ‘titles’ but just leaves it there. 

‘’How is Eliza,’’ Loki then asks Micheal while slightly rocking you. ‘’She’s great, we’re thinking maybe take a sub,’’ he beams. ‘’For real,’’ Luke asks with a smile. ‘’Yeah… John might know a girl for us but that is still in early stages.’’ ‘’Still,’’ Evan chimes in, ‘’big step even thinking about it.’’ Micheal just nods this time and sips his beers. 

‘’But, back to this cutie. How did you meet,’’ James asks with a smirk. ‘’She wrote some rubbish BDSM stories and so I offered to teach her the ropes,’’ Loki simply explains. ‘’She then turned out to be a little… I think. We are figuring this out at our own pace.’’ You only nod a little looking around the room. 

‘’Loki?’’ Loki looks at you and kisses your cheeks. ‘’Yes dear?’’ ‘’You promised me a bath,’’ you pout looking at him. ‘’That is true. Be a good girl now and then I’ll allow you a nice bath tonight, huh?’’ He kisses under your ear which causes you to giggle. 

‘’Okay,’’ you mumble and nuzzle your face into his neck. Loki chuckles but then goes back to the conversation with his friends. They drink some beers and chat. You eventually mingle in some conversation. Your answers stay short. It’s a little daunting to be in a room full of men. 

Eventually it is Luke who walks to a cupboard in the corner. He opens the doors and frowns. “I could have sworn you had a bunch of board games here,” he calls. Loki stands up after peeling you off of his lap. He takes a look at the cupboard as well, as if he had forgotten he even had it. “I think those are downstairs as well. I didn’t use them much anymore.” He then walks towards the table next to the front door to grab his key chain. This strikes you as odd. You sit up a little to take a better look at what he is doing. 

“Luke, we can go grab them from storage,” he explains and holds up his keys as he opens the door. Immediately you shoot up from the couch. Quickly you grab his arm and look up at him. You try to beg him to stay with your eyes alone. 

“You can come with me, dear, don’t worry.” He places a kiss on your hair and rubs your back. He tells the other lads he’ll be back in a few minutes. You go into the lift all the way down to the storage area. You hadn’t been here before yet. 

Loki confidently guides you to the right storage box once underground. Even the storage boxes in this building are posh. It nearly looks like these are flats as well. The ground is hard wood and the hallways are rather light. 

Loki finds his box and opens the door. He flicks on the light. Together you walk in. Luke immediately looks out a few board games. You are more so occupied with other things. Loki has quite some storage cabinets with files, old books and boxes stored in them. Everything is in a set place so the storage box is very neat. There is one storage rack with large moving boxes. Some of them have kink labels on them. One has BONDAGE written on it in Loki’s neat handwriting. Others have things such as Masochism/Sadism, Impact, Humiliation, Non-Con and there was a box with Age play written on it. 

You want to pull out a box to take a look but Loki catches you. He wraps his arm around you and kisses your shoulder. “What are you looking at?” You giggle as he does and you point at the label of the box, Non-Con. He chuckles and pushes the box back into the rack. “We’ll talk about that later, love.” He pulls you away from the boxes and towards the rack with a collection of board games.

“I was just curious,” you counter as you look through the games. You feel a bit more comfortable now that it is only Luke along. 

“That’s good to hear,” Loki replies as he pats your bum playfully. You just start browsing through the games together with the other men. You pull out a few that seem fun and hold those under your arm. 

When everyone has a few Loki calls it quit and you guys go back upstairs. When you return to the flat the others cheer a little overexcited. Their arms are up in the air with their hands in fists. You put the games on the counter and look at the ones Loki and Luke grabbed. 

James joins you as well to take a look at them. “What would you like to play,” he asks as he also starts to browse. You then see Loki or Luke had grabbed The Game Of Life. You pick it and take it to Loki. “Can we play this one,” you ask in a small voice as you lean into his side. He takes it from you and let’s you hide your head in his arms. He agrees and starts setting up the game. You quickly pick your favourite colour pin before the others choose theirs. 

“Loki,” you whisper. You sit tightly against him with your arm around his. “After this game I’m going home. Early morning tomorrow.” He kisses your forehead as you tell him this. 

“Of course. Whatever you need.” You cuddle a little closer and start the game. It’s fun to play with the other men as well. It helps you let loose a little more. You do stay close to Loki but you manage to talk a little more now. 

When the game is over you grab your stuff. You are absolutely exhausted. It was late already and you had an early class. You were dreading the drive home but knew you had to. You didn’t want to stay over at Loki’s. No matter how nice it was, everything was moving very quickly and you needed your space and boundaries. 

Loki brings you downstairs and helps you seek out your motorcycle. He notices you rubbing your eyes and moving a bit slowly. “Can you drive back yourself or do you need me to drive you?” Quickly you shake your head. 

“No, I can do it myself. I need my bike at home and I don’t want to risk someone seeing us.” Loki reluctantly agrees and then presses a gentle kiss on your lips. He rarely kissed you there so it took you a little by surprise. 

“See you tomorrow. Be a good girl and sleep tight.” He also kisses your nose after saying that and pulls you a little closer. 

“You too. I will be.” 

“I will who,” he asks you as he pulls you a little closer to him again.

You put your arms around his shoulders and get on your tippy toes. “I will be good… Daddy.”

A pleased smirk creeps on Loki’s lips. “Good girl.” After that and a last kiss you get on your back and start the drive home. 

Once you’re on the road the fatigue really starts to catch up with you. Your eyes feel heavy and you can’t concentrate on the road as much as you would like. The lights appear much brighter and cloud your vision. 

Luckily you live close by. Just one more traffic light and a few more turns. The intersection, however, was a busy one. When you arrived you were shocked to find it was broken. There was no one directing the traffic anymore either because it was so late in the evening. No other vehicle is approaching so when it seems clear you cross over. 

When you nearly reach the other side of the intersection a small car suddenly comes from around the corner. It was going very fast. It hit the breaks but it was too late. It hit you. You are knocked off your bike and hit the pavement. You land on your collarbone. The air is knocked from your lungs as you are thrown across the asphalt. Eventually you come to a stop when you hit one of the traffic light poles. You gasp for air but the shock prevents you from breathing for a moment. Eventually you’re able to suck in some air again and start to couch. 

The driver from the car runs up to you. He has his phone against his ear. You can’t hear what he’s saying. Your ears are ringing. The street lights blur your vision more than before. You can feel yourself slipping into unconsciousness. 

You try to stay awake. You count to ten, list the names of the days of the week, list up the classes  you take at Uni and recall your phone number. 

The blinds from your helmet are popped open. An ambulance worker is in sight. He calls something to his college but you still can’t hear him. You’re too out of it to worry about anything. 

Eventually the ringing becomes less when the ambulance worker sits down next to you again. He is a middle aged black man. 

“Stay with me dear, we’re gonna get you to the hospital,” he tells you but you don’t reply. He shines a light in your eyes. You try to squint and look away from it. 

Now that the adrenaline starts to fade you start to feel the pain. Your entire body aches. Your collarbone and ribs in particular. 

Quickly you are hauled into an ambulance. Once in there you get a neck brace and your helmet is removed. They soon start padding at your head, take a blood sample and give you an IV. You can only watch as they work on your. 

The pain starts to fade away again when the IV is connected to some bag of fluids. The ambulance workers kept telling you things but it didn’t register. You felt so terribly tired. You just wanted to go to sleep. You didn’t. You started to count again and name the days of the week. You look outside and see the trees, flats and street lights pass. 

Eventually you get to the hospital. They roll you out of the ambulance and into the ER. They got you into a room where they started their tests. One woman then looked you in your eyes and smiled. “I’m doctor Nelson, I’m gonna take good care of you. What’s your name?” You choked out your name and started to cry. 

“I’m gonna take good care of you Y/N,” doctor Nelson replies. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” You tell her no and then she joins the other people working on you. The next thing they did was take an X-ray of your chest. They then checked your neck and took off the brace when you were cleared. A doctor looked at the X-ray. 

They discussed some discussion doctor Nelson addressed you again. “Your left collarbone is broken. It’s a complicated break so you need surgery. Do you consent to that?” You quickly do and only a moment later you are brought to the surgery room. Once in there they put you to sleep. 

The anesthesiologist tells you to count to ten for him. You start for him. A bright light is shining above you and doctors in scrubs start to come in. The closer you get to ten the more blurred everything becomes. Your eyes feel heavy and soon they close. 

[with-all-my-heart-arwen]

The Scare

A/N:  An AU fic about Arthur and Gwen and a possible life changing event.

The sun is bright as it filters in from the wide curtainless windows.  The office continues to buzz with busyness and life seems to move right along despite the turmoil Gwen is feeling inside.  She sighs heavily as she packs her meager belongings into a cardboard box.  She’d had the desk for three weeks and now her dream internship was at an end.  She was only standing up for herself, something her father taught her, and now she feels as if she’s being punished for not allowing a client to talk down to her.

She can feel the eyes of the other office occupants as they glance her way, some with sympathy and some with a good riddance smirk.  Her choice of vocation is competitive and she has already mired her path to success.  The realization of loss is heavy and stifling. She tosses the last few items into the box, grabs her purse and exits with her head held high.  Once she’s in her car, the tears start to stream down her cheeks and she can’t muster the energy to start the vehicle and drive away. She reaches for her mobile and taps the last number called.

He answers hurriedly. “Hey.  I’m kind of busy at the moment.  Can I ring you back?”

She is so choked up she can barely talk.  “Ar….Arthur…..”

“Guinevere….what’s wrong? What’s happened?”  He asks anxiously, noticing her difficulty to speak.

“I….I need you.”

“It’s fine.  Tell me where you are and I’ll come to you,” he offers.

“Can you…..meet me at the park?  By the fountain?’  She asks.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Twenty minutes later, they are walking hand in hand as Gwen relays the incident with the client and then her boss and her subsequent firing.

“I thought for sure she’d speak up for me or at least see my side of things.  She completely threw me under the bus and told me I should have never spoken to a client in that manner.”  She pauses as she looks her boyfriend in the eye.  “I wasn’t cross with her like she was with me but I wanted her to know I would not tolerate being talked to like I was an imbecile.  How was that wrong?”

“It wasn’t wrong at all.” He shakes his head.  “Maybe you can speak with Isabel again, explain yourself….”

“You want me to grovel after the way she treated me?  She didn’t have to fire me you know.  This was an isolated incident.  Maybe I didn’t handle it as I should have.  Maybe I should have allowed the client to speak to me the way she did.”

“No.  You weren’t wrong for standing up for yourself.  I just hate to see you so miserable.”

“Well you’d better get used to it.  I can’t afford my flat now so I guess I’ll go back to Reading with dear old dad.  That means an hour commute each day for school, add in the wear and tear on the car and it all equals misery in my book.” She stops walking and drops his hand. “Oh Arthur what am I going to do?”

She feels awful asking her boyfriend of six months for answers but she is desperate.  Her life here was starting to come together nicely and now she appears to be backtracking.  It’s not fair.

He steps in and hugs her tightly.  “It will be fine.  I promise.” He places his hands on either side of her face.  “Why not start plans for your own business?”

“Are you forgetting I have one more year of uni?  No one’s going to take a graduating senior seriously.  I have to have that degree in hand.  Not to mention a bit of experience under my belt,” she reminds him.

“Ok.  Well this will leave you more time to devote to your studies. You may even finish early,” he suggests.

“Did I fail to mention my other problem?”  She lets out a soft breath.  “I need to complete an internship to get all my credits to graduate.  I’ve clearly mucked that up now.”  Her voice breaks on the last word and Arthur cringes, wishing he could take it all away.

“Let’s solve at least one of these problems.  Move in with me.  That way you won’t be back with your dad, you won’t have to drive so far, and I’ll cook breakfast each morning.”

Gwen smiles and wipes her tears.  “Eggs and toast?”

“Only the best for you.”

“Oh Arthur please be serious.  I really need some answers here.”

He frowns.  “Who says I’m not serious?”

“I couldn’t do that. I mean, it’s too soon.  We’ve only been dating for a few months.  What would everyone think?”

“Who cares what others think?  I understand this would be a big step for us but….I’m ready.”

“Ready?  Ready for what exactly?”

“Guinevere….I love you. Moving in together is a big commitment and I want that…..with you.”

“I…..I love you too Arthur but I don’t want you to feel obligated just because I’m having a bit of bad luck,” she states.

“This is not about your incident today.  This is about two people in love….taking the next step.”

She looks at him for a few seconds, recognizing his seriousness.  “Well, since you put it that way…..”

They laugh and she loops an arm through one of his as they exit the park.

Two months later

Gwen has ensconced herself into Arthur’s living quarters seamlessly.  He made good on his promise to prepare her breakfast every morning, she attended her classes during the day, he worked until six most evenings and she usually had dinner prepared for them once he was home.  Their lives merged almost perfectly.  The only thing she hadn’t accomplished was securing another internship and she had to have that in place within the next few weeks in order to complete her graduation requirements.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit stressed over it but she had a couple of prospects and she was just waiting for an interview.   She puts the finishing touches on tonight’s dinner and goes over a couple of assignments while she waits for Arthur to arrive.  She smiles when she hears the lock turn on the door and the love of her life enters their home.  He walks over to her and plants a sweet kiss on her lips.

“Sorry I’m late.  My father is really bad at knowing when to call it quits.”  He sets his keys in a bowl on the coffee table and moves towards the stairs.  “I’m going up to change. Be right back.”

That night was like so many others they’ve had.  Discussing their days, current events, news from friends, etc.  They spend an hour or so on their devices, checking emails, work obligations, school assignments and then they take a long hot shower together that ends with sensual lovemaking in his oversized king bed.

The next day, Gwen is seated at the coffee shop near her school with friends.

“Where’s Jessica?” She wonders.  

“Sick with cramps. She has them something awful.  I feel sorry for her,” Dreena answers.

The others continue their conversation but Gwen is stuck on the word cramps.  It automatically brings to mind her monthly cycle and she realizes she hasn’t gotten it yet.  She quickly thinks back to last month and knows she should’ve had her period by now. She takes out her mobile and pulls up the calendar to figure out just how late she is.  She gasps and tries not to panic as her heart rate increases with the thought of what could be causing her late period.

“Gwen are you ok?” Eugenia asks.

“Yeah….I…..yes I just remembered an assignment that’s due.  I really need to go.  I’ll see you guys later.”  She grabs her belongings and makes a beeline for her car.  She picks up her mobile several times to ring Arthur but she’s not sure what she would say, so she drives home and waits for him.  She can’t even think about eating she is so consumed with her thoughts.

The clock reads 7:30 and she scoffs as she thinks, ‘of all nights for him to be late’.  He did send a text earlier but she thought late would be 6:30 or 7.  At this rate, he could be even later and she knows she will be out of her mind in only a few more minutes.  She grabs her shoes and rushes down the stairs ready to snatch up her keys and drive to the nearest drug store.

Arthur walks through the door looking a bit disheveled.  “Hi love. Sorry I’m so late.  Merlin actually closed a deal and we had to celebrate.”

Gwen stands silently, looking at him.

“Are you ok?”  He asks.

“I’m late.”

“Late for what?”

“I mean…..I’m late.”

Her boyfriend’s eyebrows go up in surprise as his mouth forms a silent ‘oh’.  “Have you taken a test?  Do you know?”

She shakes her head. “No.”

He nods slowly. “Okay.  Okay….well let’s uh…..let’s get a test.”

“A test?”  She agrees.  “Yes we should get a test.”

They take his car and drive a few minutes away to a nearby drug store.  The entire time Gwen is racking her brain trying to think of how this could have happened if it has actually happened.  She and Arthur were careful.  They used condoms and she was on the pill although she was a bit forgetful from time to time.  Surely that wouldn’t result in a pregnancy?

She places the test on the counter to purchase it only to have Arthur drop a big box of condoms right next to it.  She gives him an annoyed look and remains silent as he retrieves some cash from his wallet and purchases their items.

The silence between them continues on the ride home, her mind still racing as she makes a beeline for the bathroom upstairs.  He follows at a slower pace and sits on the bed quietly.  He checks his watch, wondering how long this would take.  He stands quickly as he hears the door open. She holds a white device in her hand and shakes her head.

“It says I’m not pregnant.”

Arthur lets out a loud ‘Woo!’  He claps his hands together, then scrubs his face with them, releasing a relieved breath. “That was close.”  He walks toward her and places his hands on her shoulders. “Gosh I feel like we dodged a bullet.”

Gwen scoffs.  “I didn’t know you’d be quite so relieved.”

Arthur scoffs back. “Well aren’t you?”

“Yes…….and……no,” she answers.

“What?  What does that mean?”

“I don’t know.  The thought of being pregnant terrified me but now that I know I’m not…..I guess I’m just a bit disappointed,” she admits.

“Disappointed? Guinevere, we are not ready for a child. You haven’t graduated uni and I’ve just started a leadership role in my father’s company.  The last thing we need is a baby.”

“I know that Arthur. Don’t you think I know that?  You just…..you’ve just made me feel like a child with me would be the last thing you’d want.  If two people love each other, isn’t it natural that they’d want children together?”

“Children?  We’ve never even discussed children.  You’ve never expressed a desire to have any and to be honest I haven’t given it much thought.  All I know is that I’m not ready to change nappies and be up all hours of the night with a screaming infant.”

“You make it sound so dismal and I think it’s one of the most beautiful things in the world,” she answers softly.

“I’m sure it is beautiful for those who plan it and want it.  I’m not saying we won’t have kids but it’s just not something that should happen now,” he offers.

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t mind having kids with me?”

He takes his time answering her.  For some reason becoming a father is something that terrifies him.  His mother died giving birth to him and his father never truly got over her death. He’s not sure he can put the woman he loves in the same predicament.  “Can we please discuss this later?  I’m feeling a little drained right now.”

“Arthur…..I need to know. I love you but if you don’t see a future for us……..”

“What are you talking about? We had a scare Guinevere.  We’re ok now and we know to be more cautious in future.”

“But if we don’t want the same things then how can we stay together?”

“There’s no urgency here. How about we revisit this in another…….five years?”

Five years?  She watches dumbfounded as Arthur removes his jacket and tie and leaves the room.

That night, Arthur pulled her into his arms and held her closely.  The previous scare and conversation lingered in the room but they didn’t discuss it any further.  Gwen was surprised by her feelings and Arthur’s admission.  She replayed the conversation in her head again and again, her thoughts keeping her awake long into the early morning hours.

Two weeks later

“Arthur, I need to talk to you,” Gwen expresses as they place their dinner plates in the sink.

He nods.  “I know what it’s about and I haven’t changed my mind.”

“So are you admitting there is no future for us…..that we want different things?”

“No, of course not. I’m just saying we aren’t ready to be parents.  Don’t you agree?”  He wonders.

“Yes but…..if we’re going to have a future together, shouldn’t we discuss the things we want and expect when it comes to family?”

“It’s not a conversation we have to have right now.  We have plenty of time,” Arthur reminds her.

Gwen accepts that as his reluctance to discuss a future therefore he must not want a future that includes her and what she wants.  This only added to the stress she was experiencing which resulted in a late period. She realizes she needs to relieve some of that stress so her decision was the right one. “Well, I’ve accepted an internship.”

Arthur smiles, relieved to change the subject.  “That’s great!”

“In France.”

Her lover falters. “Wh…what?  In France?  Why?”

“I need to get serious about this, Arthur.  I scratched France off my list because I couldn’t bear being away from you but if I truly want to graduate and if I truly want the experience, I need to accept the opportunities granted to me.”

“So you’re leaving just like that?”

“It’s for 6 weeks and I’ve been approved to complete my courses online for that duration.  It’s all going to work out.”

“But what about us?”

“You’ve made it clear that we should concentrate on our careers right now and I’ve decided that you’re right.”

“Are you dumping me?” He doesn’t give her time to answer as he steps to her and lifts her chin to look directly into her eyes.  “I love you.”  He swallows nervously.  “If this is about a baby….then….we’ll have one.  I’ll give you whatever you want.”

“I love you too but I think some time apart is what we need now.  I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“Great coz I don’t want this.  I want you to stay.”

“I want you to take this time to consider what you truly want.  If you don’t see yourself as a father in a couple of years then we want different things, Arthur, and we shouldn’t be together if our expectations don’t coincide.”

He motions to say more but Gwen crushes her lips to his, pushing her tongue into his mouth and wrapping her arms around his neck.  She pushes her body against his and gasps as Arthur pulls back.

“Guinevere, we need to talk about this.”

“I leave in two days, Arthur.  I want to spend that time wrapped in your arms.”  Not another word is spoken as they resume their kiss and move into their bedroom.

The next few weeks are torturous for the both of them but they contend by keeping busy, Arthur in his new position at his father’s company and Gwen with her thriving internship. They talk on the phone daily, send each other text messages and emails and the 6 weeks are done before they realize it.

Gwen can barely contain her excitement as she presses the garage opener and parks her car beside Arthur’s.  She leaves her bags in the boot as she hurriedly unlocks the door and enters their home.  Arthur stands by the kitchen counter and she races to him, jumping into his arms and hugging him tightly.  His arms snake around her waist and he kisses her neck soundly.

“I missed you so much,” she gasps then kisses him gently.

“I missed you too.”

“Arthur, I want to apologize.  I did a lot of thinking while I was away but I couldn’t say this over the phone or in an email.  I was wrong to make you feel like you had to tell me exactly what you wanted for your future.  We have time and I hope you can forgive me.  I wasn’t very understanding and I don’t want to lose you.  I love you with all my heart.”

He smiles.  “I want to apologize too.  I allowed my knowledge of what happened to my parents to cloud my judgment about my own future.  I will admit that I don’t know what the future holds for us but as long as I’m with you I don’t care.  I love you, Guinevere, more than anything.”

They kiss passionately, their love for one another more evident and stronger than ever.  She grabs his hand and leads his towards the stairs.

“I’ve dreamt about you almost every night for 6 weeks.  I hope you’re prepared to remain in bed for the next few days.”

Arthur laughs as they climb the stairs together, enter their bedroom, close the door and start to disrobe before falling onto the bed where they make love slowly and intensely.

[gisachi]

For the writing ask can you do number 4 please 😍💜

Hello, thank you for patiently waiting 🤗 I hope you don’t mind that I combined your asks since it’s the same prompt. ^^ It’s pretty obvious by now that I’m a sucker for College AUs and not only that but I feel like I have this thing for Drunk!Ran lmao if I’m not mistaken this will be the fourth time that I write her character under the influence of alcohol. I’m sorry!! She’s just so fun to write like this! No holds barred when it comes to saying what she wants. Also this kinda went longer than I expected so I put the rest under the cut. Anyway, here it is and I hope you like it!

4. An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose. (2,125 words)

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“Ne, Sonoko, what does a kiss on the nose mean?”

Sonoko finishes her glass and sets it down the table, its loud clatter punctuating Ran’s unexpected question. Her eyes narrow, studying Ran carefully like a professor to her student, but bereft of any form of judgment.

“Heeeh,” she cocks an eyebrow, “so Shinichi’s been doing that? For how long?”

“Since the start of this year…” she replies unthinkingly, only to turn beet red after realizing her blunder half a second later. “I-I didn’t say it was him?!”

“Ran, really? You think you can hide that fact from me?” she exclaims loud and proud, brandishing her signature grin of victory that makes Ran shrink in her seat and their other girl friends chant their excited ‘oooh’s’ around the table.

“Seriously, though. It’s about time he does that,” Kaede remarks. “Ran-chan, I only met you and Shinichi-kun here in uni but the first time I saw you both I knew right then you’re bound to get married.”

“Oh please, they’ve been married since 4.” Sonoko drawls. “I don’t know if they’re playing oblivious but everybody with eyes knows they’re practically married. Even their parents.”

“Right? Who on earth would religiously walk the other home even if their dorms are in opposite directions? Even my boyfriend doesn’t do that!” Minami adds.

“Mou, minna! Just answer my question!” Ran squeaks, torn between being flustered for what she has asked or annoyed at her friends’ embarrassing side comments, the truth of which she cannot find in her to deny.

“Okay. So since you’re such a helpless little angel, let me tell you Ran that you are surely Shinichi’s object of committed affection.”

“He finds you cute.”

“He cares for you deeply.”

“All of these, you mean like a sister or a friend?”

“Ran! As in romantically! Shinichi likes you! No— he’s in love with you! Goodness!” Minami runs her hand over her face. “How you’re so smart and so dense at the same time, I don’t understand.”

“B-but it doesn’t make sense!” Ran defends. “I mean if he uh, l-likes me... then why not say it straight to my face...we tell each other everything. We’re best friends.”

Kaede pats her shoulder like she’s consoling a child. “That’s exactly why. You’re best friends. Perhaps he’s shy of admitting his real feelings yet. So he conveys it through nose kisses instead, hoping you’ll get it.”

“More importantly though,” Sonoko leans to her, “what do you feel about it, Ran?”

Overcome by shyness, she bites her lower lip to restrain any slip of tongue that may give her away completely, although she knows deep down that she’s still unsure of her response. Her friends think he’s in love with her. Though she trusts their judgment, she cannot, for the life of her, reconcile with the idea of her and Shinichi being more than best friends by title, even if by fact they already are. The fear of uncertainty bothers her. She’s known him to be a man of his actions and words. So when he does something a guy friend won’t normally do like kiss her on the nose and without him clarifying what it actually means, she’s befuddled. Actions may speak louder than words but that doesn’t make the latter any less important.

Seeming to understand her struggle, the trio share a common look of agreement that leads them to shove her one glass half filled with alcohol.

“We got you, girl. Want a drink?”

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One glass in and Ran feels like she’s a completely different person from the woman who sat in that same chair an hour ago. She feels lightheaded and floaty. She also feels more talkative than usual, her mouth on its own accord ranting on and on about this certain detective, while her friends listen with utmost interest.

“...and when he did that the first time, I remember it was the start of school after holidays, I was shocked, really shocked, ‘cuhs he did it sooo quickly and with such a straight face and...ugh god.”

“And what? That’s when you realize you want to marry him for real?” Sonoko wiggles her brows while Kaede and Minami guffaws.

“NO! Shut! I-”

“Speak of the devil.”

The main subject of their conversation arrives, which, as they know it, means that Ran’s about to be picked up. That’s just how those two are. Still, that doesn’t stop Sonoko and Minami from offering him a shot, which he doesn’t decline.

“Sorry for taking her away from you so early. You know how her mother blames me whenever she goes home late.” Shinichi stands behind Ran and rubs the back of his head, somewhat apologetic for ruining their night out.

“It’s okay, Shinnn. We understand how strict your in-law is,” Minami coos and waves her glass in the air. “Oh, and sorry by the way if we made Ran-chan drink.”

“She drank?” Disregarding Minami’s first statement, Shinichi looks at the three then at Ran, who flashes him a wide goofy smile.

“She needs it for our session today, sorry Shinichi!” Sonoko makes a peace sign. “Only a half glass, so she’s probably just a tiiiiny bit disoriented. And she already drank water.”

Though not mad, Shinichi doesn’t hide his surprise. Ran only drinks juice whenever she hangs out with the girls, a fact he has known since they entered college. Now in their second year, this is the first time he actually hears her drink alcohol. He doesn’t mind at all because she’s in good company anyway. After bidding the others good night, he guides her out the pub.

The walk back to Ran’s apartment consists of her talking about her day half the time and the other half complaining about how she feels weird being too talkative. Shinichi walks alongside her, enjoying Ran’s newfound vibrancy as he listens, his eyes smiling with his lips and Ran forgets talking for a second because she nearly trips and falls after catching herself getting mesmerized by his beautiful smiling face yet again.

Whenever he brings her home, Shinichi doesn’t go up her floor, only to the lobby at most, but tonight is an exception. He needs to ensure that Ran makes it inside her apartment. He watches her fumble for her keys and when she finally succeeds in opening her door, he says his good night. He is about to leave when Ran tugs on his sleeve.

“Heey,” she starts. “Arentcha forgetting something?”

“Forgetting what?”

She hiccups, doesn't say anything as she drags a finger to the tip of her nose. “... Right here.”

Shinichi stares at her, startled.

“You always do that… why not now?”

“I’m... quite surprised you remember trivial details like that even when you’re like this.”

“Weell! It’s not trivial!” she puffs her cheeks, “At least for me.”

“What does that mean?” He smiles, facing her completely.

“Iunno? ‘Cause we’ve been tight since forever? And you’ve been doing that since the year started? At least be consistent? And I like it when you do that? What else?"

She catches his pupils dilate for a split second and back.

“Ran,” he suppresses a little laugh. “Stop that, okay.” Then he inches closer. “Now I kinda want to give Sonoko an earful for turning you into this shameless talking machine."

Shinichi bends a little to level with her face. “Do me a favor and look yourself in the mirror once you’re in, yeah?” One hand is in his pocket and the other he uses to part loose locks dangling over her right eye and cheek, giving him an unobstructed view of her very pink, almost swelling face. “You’re a mess.”

「A kiss on the nose means he cares for you deeply.」

“I’m nooot. You are,” she lightly punches his chest, to which he just sniggers.

“I am what?”

“You’re the messed up one. You mess me up.”

“Again, what does that even mean?”

“As far as I know, you’re the detective here. Figure that out yourself will ya.”

He gives her this tiny smirk and Ran barely catches it.

“I don’t know, Ran. Perhaps... hearing it straight from you is much better.”

She tries to keep her eyes open but they burn so much they sheen with tears, and the alcohol’s to blame. “Huh?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles, his timbre doing things to her heart that she cannot resist stealing him a glance despite the aching throb in her head.

Damn it, he’s so annoying but so beautiful, his eyes are so bright, his cheeks so rosy—

“Pfft aren’t you blushiiiing!”

“Shut up.” And he plants a little kiss on her nose.

「A kiss on the nose means that he finds you cute.」

“There. Happy?”

While that effectively shuts her up, the fleeting drop of his lips landing as gently as a falling petal on her nose has her instinctively following his head with her own, honest in wanting another feel.

“Wait no! Again. But sloooower, pretty please?”

Her grip on his sleeve tightens, and she wonders if it’s possible for the erratic drumming of her pulse to be conducted through such fabric as to make the man in front of her aware of her state. She sounds so needy and clingy, and a part of her wants to barf and slap herself into sobriety, but a part of her also insists to just keep going.  And the latter is winning.

“... You really are something, you know that?”

As swift as the night, he slowly leans his head and she closes her eyes, her senses becoming hyper aware of how open and vulnerable her entire being is before his presence. Her heart thumps mercilessly against her chest.

「A kiss on the nose means you’re his object of committed affection.」

...

What if he’s my...

The voice at the back of her head tells her to reciprocate. Which she eventually goes for as she lifts her chin, aiming to kiss his nose right before he does.

What she doesn’t expect is for their lips to brush and suddenly there is spark and both of them retract fast.

Sky-crystal eyes meet azure. For that brief second, she thinks she’s stepped one foot beyond their demarcation line, and she searches her mind and heart for that doubt and dread and fear brought about by an accidental venture to an unknown territory, yet she finds nothing. Nothing of that sort.

Instead, she feels like she has just dipped her foot on the ocean, the expanse of which scares her, but the moment the water touches her skin she discovers that it isn’t so bad and fear disappears and all that’s left is the genuine willingness to feel more of its glorious warmth, to let it consume her, to submerge into its depths.

And so she doesn’t push him away when he cups her left cheek and closes their gap; nor does he say anything when she steps on tiptoes and eyes flutter close as her lips purposely seek his. It doesn’t last long, just enough to acquaint herself with his softness, his shape; she feels him chapped from the spring cold, but really she doesn’t mind.

A kiss on the nose is sweet.

But a kiss on the lips is...

They separate as soundlessly as they merge. Both remain silent for a good minute, forehead against each other, his thumb brushing her cheek like it’s responsible for painting the crimson colors across it.

Shinichi purses his lips, before stepping back and locking eyes with hers, shyly.

“So, uh...Tomorrow. 10AM. I’ll be here. Please get a good night’s rest and I-... We’ll sort this out, properly...when you’re ready and sober. Ran.”

For the last time that night, he plants a light kiss on her nose and departs, leaving her in a trance by her doorstep.

W-Wait, Shinichi, I—!

Her eyes scan the corridor, but he’s already gone.

I’m...

Her head floats and so do her feet as she retreats to her room, all while her fingers trace her lips, trying to replicate his lips through them but she isn’t taking it. Even in this state, she cannot find the exact words to describe how he truly makes her feel. She recalls how their conversation ran. Her honest words. His vague replies. His sweet actions. Her eager response.

Their shared kiss.

Shoot. That makes everything even more confusing, doesn’t it?

She falls with her back on the bed, still in a state of trance. Reaching for her phone deep in her bag, she presses a button for speed dial, with one intent in mind.

“Hello, you’ve reached Suzuki Sonoko. I’m currently unable to take your call, so please leave your message after the beep.”

“Ne, Sonoko, what does a kiss on the lips mean?”

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[writers-hes]

meet-cute / fluff !

thank you so much for your support on my first ever fanfic! i really had such a great time writing it and i will be updating the second part of it soon. for now, please enjoy this super fluffy fic!

WARNING: UNEDITED !

word count: 3596

in which y/n and harry meets for the first time and can’t seem to get enough if each other

“lou, do i really have to go?” you ask. your sister and lou teasdale have been great friends, immediately clicking it off in middle school. the both of them never lost contact and you were glad that they didn’t because you considered her as an older sister and you knew that she treated you like her younger sister.

“of course you do! your parents entrusted you to me and i have to keep my promise that i will look over for the night.” she chuckles. you roll your eyes. you were twenty for christ’s sake and the last thing you needed was a baby sitter. your parents have always been strict, not allowing you to date till you finish your studies. sure, you had a few short-term relationships here and there. it was all part of growing up but even so, you didn’t let your parents know about them.

lou sensed your annoyance. she felt sorry for you, not experiencing the things that kids in your age should. you should be out, getting wasted and experiencing youth but you were stuck with her. “tell you what, you don’t have to come to the backstage with me. i’ll let you stay in my hotel room and you can order room service or pizza. my treat.” she says.

“will lux be there with me?” you ask, talking about lou’s adorable little girl.

“sure. i needed someone to take care of lux anyway. she’s been losing sleep layely because if the loudness in concerts.” she replies. poor girl.

“where is she anyway?” you ask. you were outside with lou, eating breakfast a block away from their hotel and it was so unusual for lux not to be joined in her hip.

“she spent the night with harry. said its been a while since he last saw the little girl,”

harry styles. out of all the members of the boy band, the person you still haven’t met yet is harry. lou speaks of the young kad fondly, telling stories about how funny and gentlemanly he is. you’ve met everybody twice, in end-of-tour parties in one of their fancy houses (with your sister by your side and your parents’ permission, of course.) still, harry would always arrive late and you’ll always leave early, not really caring for the party itself. you were just there to support lou, anyway.

“oh, what time will you leave for the arena?” you ask.

“noon-time. which reminds me, we should get going!” she exclaims, wiping off the crumbs of the sandwich she just finished. you nodded drank the last of your hot cocoa. the two of you walk side by side to the hotel. “have you ket harry before?” she asks. you shake your head no and explain what happens during the parties.

“ah, well that’s such a shame! you will absolutely love him, i promise,” you nod, not really caring that you were about to meet the harry styles—your personal favourite from the band. you were excited to see lux.

you arrive at the hotel, finally. you were so excited to see lux. “hey, why don’t you go ahead and take lux from harry? his room is 1723 and take her to my room, 1735. i’ll just go get ready and take a shower.” she says. you nod and tread your way to 1723.

you knock once you arrive, not noticing the doorbell right beside the door.

“stay there, luxy! i’ll just see who’s at the door.” you hear from the outside. you blush, anxious to finally meet harry. you hear shuffling as you anticipate the door to open.

“hey, i’m here to get lu—“

“uh, who are you?” he asks, a little rudely. you frown but immediately get over it. he doesn’t know you and was probably just looking out for lux.

“name is (y/n) and i’m here to take lux...lou told me that she spent the night with you.” you told him.

“uncle harry!” you hear lux from the inside. you smile at her cute little voice. “who’s there?” you hear her ask as her head poked from the door. you watch her face light up.

“auntie (y/n)!” she squeals. she ducks under harry’s arm to run towards you.

“lux, i’ve missed you so much!” you say, crouching down to her height and opening your arms to hug her. you see that she was wearing the winnie the pooh pyjama set you gave her and smiled even wider.

“i see you watched pooh without me...” you fake-pout, making lux giggle and hug you even tighter.

meanwhile, harry is leaning on the door frame in awe as he watch you interact with lux. he suddenly felt guilty for being so rude when you first met. he was just being protective of lux.

“y/n, is it?” he suddenly asks. you turn to him and nod curtly, still a little annoyed at how he treated you earlier. “i’m sorry about earlier...thought you were someone else...lou didn’t tell me someone else was coming to get her.”

you picked up lux and stood up.

“s’okay,” you smiled. now that harry apologized he didn’t seem as bad.

“hey, do you wanna go in? i’ll just prepare her stuff in her bag.” he offers. you told him that you were going in so he pulled the space of the door a little more and let you in. “so, how come we’ve never met before? you seem to know the atkins well.” he asks you as he cleans up the little girl’s mess.

“ah, well, i suppose our paths never crossed. i met niall, liam, zayn, and louis twice in your end-of-tour parties.” you say. “you were always late and i always happen to leave earlier.” you let go of lux once you sat on the couch of the grand hotel room.

“uncle har, up!” lux said, making grabby hands for her to be picked up by harry. he looks at you, as if asking if it was alright if he picked up lux first.

“it’s alright. i’ll clean up,” you offer. he smiles at you thankfully and picks up the little girl who’s been asking for attention since the two of you met.

“if you don’t mind me asking, how come you’re here?”

“my parents asked lou if she could ‘babysit’ me…” a little embarrassed that you’re saying this to the man who travelled the world.

“wait--how old are you?”

“i’m 20...my parents are out of the country and luckily, you guys are here so they asked lou if i could tag along. it would’ve been okay to not have someone guard for me if they were out of town,” you grumbled.

harry chuckles. “so, you attend uni then?”

“yeah, i’m currently majoring in political science and minoring in creative writing…”

“you liking it so far?” he asks, slowly rocking lux back and forth, making her extra sleepy.

“yeah. i really love comparative politics and seeing all the different patterns in different political landscapes. did you know that changing the appearance of money causes the economies of different countries to go down? i love studying about political theories by calvin, plato, machiavelli…” you gush. you suddenly stop. “i’m sorry, i’m probably boring you with all the academic talk.”

harry sets lux back to the bed. “no, it’s alright. tell me more about uni! you know, i originally planned to be a lawyer if i didn’t join the x factor. about political science and creative writing, may i please know more?” he asks, plopping himself beside you on the couch.

“well...what do you want to know? i’m still in sophomore so i really don’t know much.”

“you know more than i do and that’s enough for me. ah! look at me, being so rude. i didn’t even offer you a drink. do you want anything? water? juice?”

“water’s fine, thanks.” you watch as he stand up and retrieve a bottle of fiji water from the fridge. fancy.

“so...creative writing? do you think i can get you to read some of my poems and snippets of songs sometime? i need a professional’s opinion…”

“hey! i told you i don’t really know much yet, harry.” you chuckle. harry smiles. it was his first time hearing his name roll of from your lips and he likes it. he really likes it.

“and i said that it’s okay. you probably know more than i do anyway. how about this, let’s go out tonight after the show. we can hang around somewhere, maybe even here. you read my writing and criticise it. if you don’t like it, you have the power to make me do one silly thing. if you like it, i’ll take you to a date.” harry didn’t know if he was shotting his shot here but his smile became even wider when you said sure.

“alright. what time do you want to meet up?” you ask.

“i’m free midnight. do you know anything open by that time?”

“well, there’s a nice coffee shop that sort of serves like a flower market near the hotel. nobody’s really there because it’s hidden but we can go there if you like.”

“deal. i’ll pick you up at lou’s room and then we can go.”

you really like harry. he was so warm and humble. he listened to you while you ramble about politics. you obviously loved your course and he could see that. throughout your conversation, you could feel warmth radiate through your body, not knowing that that was how he felt too.  

---

“looks like you’ve spent the whole morning with my little sister, huh, harry?” lou teased while blow-drying his hair.

“yeah...quite lovely, isn’t she?” he mutters, blushing a little bit.

“oi, niall! someone here got a crush!” liam teases. harry blushed a little bit more, his whole face was red. the lads looked at him funnily. it’s been awhile since harry had a crush on a girl. sure, there were a few flings but those either didn’t work out well because of his busy schedule or because it was for publicity.

“who’s he crushin on?” louis asks.

“you know my friends’s sister, y/n?” lou replies, finishing up harry’s braids.

“oh, pretty girl. she’s super smart too.” zayn comments.

“yeah, m’taking her out tonight…” harry mumbles. he felt like he was back in high school crushing on a girl.

“you didn’t even ask me, oi! i’m her guardian tonight,”

“fine! may i take her out then?” harry asks. why can’t these people let him be? it was just a little crush.

“alright. just make sure to be back before the sun comes up. no funny business, haz. or else.” lou threatens. harry nods while the boys look at each other. it was so unlike harry to have a crush on a girl the first time meeting her. still, they couldn’t deny that y/n was a lovely girl. she was very polite and was well-raised. she was exactly harry’s type.

---

harry felt guilty. he was running late. it was almost 1 a.m. and he still wasn’t at the hotel. the concert ended a few minutes early and harry immediately left after the meet and greet with some fans. he still had about thirty minutes to spare before twelve. he asked his driver to drive around the area in hopes to find flowers for her. in the end, he only got her red and white floating balloons from a liquor store.

once he arrived at the hotel, he ran to the special elevator and jogged to where you were. you were sitting on lou’s bed as she put your hair up in a high ponytail.

“now, love, i know harry’s very attractive and very kind but don’t you forget to come home before the sun comes up. your parents will pick you up here tomorrow noon and you can’t look like you’ve been out dating a popstar. you know what will happen if they find out.” lou warns. you nod absentmindedly. you couldn’t wait till harry arrives. he’s been on your mind since you parted. was he alright? how was the concert? did he enjoy performing? you’ve never really been to their show, finding no time because you were always busy with coursework.

knock, knock, knock.

three hasty knocks were heard and you know it was harry. you immediately zoom your way to the door to find harry holding red and white balloons.

“hey, harry. what are the balloons for?” you ask.

“well, i’ve been looking for an open flower shop around the area since i left the arena but i couldn’t find any. so, i got you red and white balloons from a liquor store instead. just think of them as red and white roses…” he offers you the balloons and you take it from him. lou was smiling in the background, feeling as if she was watching two awkward highschoolers go out on their first date.

“thanks. i love them.” you say. “lou? is it alright if i tie the balloons on the door knob?”

“yeah but lux will play with that once she sees it tomorrow…”

“it’s alright. lux and i can play with it together.” you tie the balloons on the doorknob as harry waits outside. “hey, harry? are you ready to go?” harry nods and offers you his hand. you take it as he bids goodbye to lou from inside the hotel room.

“hey, i hope it’s okay for lux to play with the balloons you gave tomorrow.” you start. you were walking arm in arm down the hallway of the fancy hotel.

“it’s alright. i’m glad that you’re willing to share it with luxie. it’s really cute how you interact with her,” he replies. he was looking really good tonight--even better than how he did in the morning. he was wearing a white britney spears t-shirt, straight cut denim, white socks, and old school black vans. he was also wearing black nail polish on his ridiculously pretty hands adorned with rings and a small gucci pouch that he tucked on his other arm. “so, love, where are you taking me?”

“well, it’s this small flower-slash-coffee shop downtown. we can walk there if you’d like,” you say. he nods in agreement as he unconsciously pulls you closer. “hey, harry?”

“hm?”

“you look really good tonight.” you both blush at your words.

“hey, you look even prettier than i do!” he gushes. you say thanks and look the other way. your face was so red. “let’s walk there, yeah? i’d love to spend more time with you and i feel like if we use the car, we’ll just tire out the driver,”

you nod, in awe at how he just said that so confidently.

--

you arrive at the small coffee shop. flora it read. this was your favourite coffee shop in the whole town. you loved how rustic everything felt--from the white walls to the flowers scattered all over the place. you loved how the smell of coffee and flowers are all mixed in the air.

“wow, this is beautiful.” harry comments. there was no place like this was. flora was so beautiful with the string lights hung from the ceiling. even though the coffee shop is empty, it still somehow felt comforting. “how did you find this place, love?”

“well, once i graduated from high school, i had the mission to drink something from every coffee shop in the area. i guess i was also looking for the best cup of coffee at the best price. coffee here is quite out of my budget. this place, though, it has the best coffee and it’s also quite cheap.” you tell him truthfully. you walked, still arm in arm, to the counter.

“hey! what can i get you today?” the barista asks.

“hey. i’ll get the cookie cream milkshake, please. also, please add a shot of espresso,” you tell him. it was your usual order. “what about you, harry?”

“oh, no. i’ll pay for this, y/n. i was the one who asked you to read my writings and critique them,”

“but--”

“no buts, sorry. hey, may i get a large homemade milk tea, please?” he says and before you could even take out your money, he slides his credit card to the barista. “take something for your tip, too.”

the barista smiles at him gratefully.

“you know, i have to pay you back, harry.” you grumble, making your way to one of the corner seats of the coffee shop.

“no! take that as an apology for the shitty balloons and for being late...also as a payment for the time you’ll be spending tonight. okay?” he protested.

“but i don’t think that the balloons were shitty...i think they’re pretty sweet.”

“okay....why don’t you spend your money on dessert and we will call it even.” he offered.

you smiled and immediately went back to the barista, asking for a honey almond toast with extra whip--your personal favourite.

“thanks. i will just serve your orders once they’re ready since there’s no one else here.” the barista says right before you turn and go back to where you sat.

“so...here’s my journal. read whatever you like. some of them are bits of song lyrics that i have yet to finish. or maybe i’m not gonna finish them.” he shyly slides a leatherbound journal towards you. he watches as you pick it up gently. “i really wanna hear about your opinions on them...we can even edit it together or write something together!”

you chuckle at his excitement. “here. this is my journal. some writings that inspired me for some of my papers. it’s a little bit all over the place. political papers, some emotional, and also some rubbish. i figured, since i will be knowing lots about you tonight, you should also know about me. i mean, if you want to…”

harry smiles at you widely and gratefully takes your journal from your hands.

the barista arrives and sets down the toast and your drinks.

“whoa, this toast! i’ve never seen one of these before.” the toast lays in its glory. thick, golden brown, and syrupy.

“yeah, take a bite! it’s one of my favourite things to eat.” you say. you offer him a forkful of the toast with some of the whip cream and watch him take a bite as you feed it to him. the both of you blush at the interaction.

“this is really good. what is this called?”

“honey almond toast. it usually has lesser whip cream but i really love how it mellows down the sweetness. wanna try my milkshake?” you ask. you give him the glass of sweetness and watch him drink from your straw.

“hey, this is also delicious. taste my milk tea?” you nod and reach for his cup. it was also delicious.

“look at us. meeting for the first time and already sharing each others’ drinks! how chummy.” he teases. you chuckle at his comment. you open his journal and he opens yours.

sweet creature had another talk about where it's going wrong but we're still young we don't know where we're going but we know where we belong

wow. he thought to himself. it was a four line poem of something but it was so good. so, so, good.

just let me know i'll be at the door, at the door

hoping you'll come around

just let me know i'll be on the floor, on the floor

maybe we'll work it out

i gotta get better, gotta get better

i gotta get better, gotta get better

i gotta get better, gotta get better

and maybe we'll work it out

“you wrote this?” you ask. you’ve been flipping the pages, so immersed with his writings.

“y-yeah…?” he replies. he was afraid that you wouldn’t like it. “it’s actually a little song...haven’t finished it yet but i sorta like the flow.”

“it’s brilliant! may i suggest something?” you ask. he nods. “um, well, it seems to me as if this is about someone leaving yes? if this is a song...i think it’s nice if you make it about someone you want to meet again. you know? like, let’s escape together. meet me in five…meet me to where we used to be...in the hallway?”

“i really like hallway...makes it sound more intimate and secretive.”

“here, write it on this page.” you move a beside him, arms touching, and point to a blank space right before what he originally has written. you watch as his boyish handwriting fill up the space. damn, this man is so beautiful and everything that comes out of him is even more beautiful.

“what about that?” he asks. you nod in approval. really loving what he got so far. “i really like your piece on this sweet creature. love the way it’s titled and written. are you planning to finish it?”

“y-yeah...just don’t have the motivation to write. politics has drained the life out of me,” you chuckle.

harry hopes you could write sweet creature soon. harry hopes to be the sweet creature you speak of so fondly.

// end of part one //

[slothgiirl]

forever isn’t for everyone part 9

Even Alex looks more hungover than usual as we all pile into the bus after the concert, taking our very late night dinners on the go. We’ve got a extra day but there’s press to do there so we leave around three in the morning, on the road again.

Ben and I go over some last minute detail, Lucy having passed on food for sleep an hour ago. My eyesight blurs as I try to keep awake for a few more minutes and Ben rubs at his face. “Being thirty five sucks,” he groans, “can’t drink for bloody shite.”

“You could always cut back,” I tell him.

“And look like an old man? I don’t know how much longer I can do this job. It’s great but rough."

I roll my eyes, going to my bunk and ready for the sweet release of sleep, "get over yourself then. They’re not asking you to party hard with them every night."

I had only gotten up because I’m starving.

Lucy still looks like shit. And so does Ben. But the rest of the crew are already hooked up, watching the telly or some video on their phones. God bless wifi. There’s nothing but desert as far as the eye can tell and I’m struck again by how vast the states are compared to back home.

"Saved you some brekkie Ellie,” Tom says, passing a bag of Mcdonald’s gone cold. I don’t bother to microwave it. Washing it down with soda and not feeling the least bit guilty about it. I’d had a late night.

I change into jean shorts in an attempt to feel more like a living breathing person.

And Lucy shakes her head, face void of any makeup for once, “I’m leaning into feeling like a zombie.”

“Europe’s better,” Ben offers, “travels only a few hours instead of a whole day.”

“I think we’re all just feeling it today,” another techie observes, “but it’ll pass.”

“Burnout,” I utter, knowing it well from uni, “we’re burnt the fuck out.”

“I think this calls for margaritas,” Lucy grins, clearly ascribing to the idea of keeping it going.

I roll my eyes, propping open my laptop and going over the schedule for the thousandth time. There were always last minute additions. Emails I had to go through for time changes and the list of questions that would be asked. Then I had to go cross reference it with the list the boys had drawn up.

Someone draws down the shades, making the noon time sun almost bareable as we leave the city behind. Soon we'll be surrounded by nothing but greenery. Like something straight out of a painting; the colors more lush and vivid under the strong sun then in England.

I scroll through pages of emails. Some are just meaningless platitudes sent by companies, filling time. Others were actual confirmations. I jot down any changes in the calendar, trying to find time to explore Los Angeles. Then it's off to the next country before the festivals kick off.

I didn't even see the statue of liberty.

"Why are they stopping," Lucy asks outload, already pullin out her phone and calling Ben. It was straight a straight drive down to California. No room for stopping if we wanted to get any rest once we arrived.

"Dunno," the driver shrugs, flicking the arrow so that we can pull over as well. "Didn't say anything to me."

Lucy starts on Ben as soon as he picks up. I close my labtop, already factoring in this little stop. It'll put us and hour or two behind schedule depending on why they're stopping. We should still get there by tomorrow morning. And there was a three hour cushion before the first interview.

The boys would have to head straight there.

It was up to Miles and Nick, Lucy wanting to help develope each of the member as individual people and not justin have Miles be the face of all. A hard task when only Miles would answer questions half the time. And they were always taking the piss out of interviewers.

"Somethings wring with the bus," Lucy sighs, "can you call the company?"

"I really fucking hope it's just a quick fix," I grumble, we were only two hours out of salt lake. Enough to make it suck it we have to turn back to get the bus fixed.

"We have an extra day," Lucy notes, as she plops down next to me. "And phone interviews can work. Might even get a few words out of Nick."

"I think it'll only make it worse." I find the number and call.

The sun is setting by the time we make it back to Salt Lake City. A whole afternoon wasted. Some cable or sensor had fried on us.

"I just don't understand," I repeat for the hundredth bloody time, "why you can't just give us another tour bus! It doesn't have to be perfect but we're hours behind schedule."

The pencil pusher, hair long gone grey at the temples, doesn't even look up before replying, "for insurance purposes only this bus is covered. If you'd like to amend the policy you'll have to fill out form H-17 and attach the previous policy statement." Which sounded a lot like horse shit to get more money out of us. The whole point of insurance was to not worry about things like this.

I roll my eyes, backing off the counter. "Thank you," I smile, feeling my eye twitch.

"Any luck," Jaime asks, Ben trailing like a dog behind me.

"None." I run a hand through my hair. The crew, like ants, had finished moving the most vital equipment onto the working bus. Jamie and Nick had run to get everyone food. "I think our best bet is to just let them fix it. They'll have it done my the day after tomorrow and have them met us in LA before we head down to San Diego."

Ben nods. "Fuck it then. We've lost enough time as it is."

"Who goes and who stays," Lucy says, eyes flickering between all the people assembled. We were hardly a large group. Seventeen in total, including the band.

"Us , the band, and the stage tech," Ben answers, leaving no room for arguement. "Sound checks going to be a bitch for you," he tells Nick and Jamie.

"Not if they get to LA early," Jamie retorts.

Ben and I go back in to sign the paperwork.

By the time we're done and back out, Miles and Alex have finally deigned to grace us with their presence. Miles in black skinny jeans and an adidas jumper, glitter still clinging to his hair after the last concert. Alex right next to him, cigarette in hand, as he laughs at something Miles just said, in an old strokes shirt and jeans even as the cold of the desert settles in for the night.

I swallow, my heart lurching at the sight of him.  

There goes any pretense that I might be getting over him. I bite the inside of my cheek, following Ben onto the bus as Lucy tells Miles what's going on. Unlike all of us, Miles and Alex had remained holed up on the broken bus, content to smoke week and sleep until we figured things out.

Miles had only come out for some fries and more cigarettes.

Thankfully, I didn't have to move anything. Just have to share a bus with my ex. No biggie.

Lucy glances at me, eyes wide, while smiling thinly.

We pile into the bus, waving the rest of the crew goodbye, but happy to not be the ones that had to sit around and wait.

Taking a seat once more on the couch, I open up my lab-top and start sending emails to try and squeeze in all the interviews in an afternoon instead of over two-ish days. Anything to keep me from having to deal with the Alex situation. Alex who, I couldn't but notice, as I glanced over the rim of my computer, had dark shadows under his eyes despite having slept the majority of the day away.

Miles, like a shark smelling blood in the water, takes a seat next to me, smiling shamelessly. "Not surprised you couldn't bully them into giving us a new bus Ellie."

I raise a brow, "oh what? Was I supposed to fight the man?"

"Might've done the trick," Miles nods, "but they probably looked at you and decided they could get their way."

"Oh fuck you," I scowl, heart not really in it. Writing professional sounding emails was mind numbing work. "Not like crying would've softened up their cold dead hearts."

Miles smiles bitterly, "very true there."

"So we're not stoping until California," Jamie asks.

"No my lad," Miles calls back, "you mum'll have to do without the nice mug from Vegas."

"Amateur," Ben shakes his head.

"Should've just gotten it when we were there," Lucy joins in.

Nick grins. "Cut him some slack lads," he says as he claps Jamie on the back, "Cookie was too busy downing shots to worry about dear old mummy."

I laugh along with them, allowing myself to forget all the complicated feelings I have at the moment. Miles' easy way of worming his way into things, making people feel included as much as he was able to turn around and sink into his own private circle of him and Alex. It was no wonder Miles had brought Alex along.

If not for the fact that I'd spent countless nights watching Miles snog one girl only to go home with another, I'd have wondered. Alex, my gaze flickers to his sleepy eyes, most likely form the weed. Alex I wasn't so sure.

Though I'd spent hours with him, I now felt as though I hadn't known him at all. He'd been so warm and open in the beginning. Though, as I try to recall anything at all about him, I realize anything he'd shared had been surface level. I didn't know anything about his parents, or childhood, or even what his favorite food was. Only that his appetite for music was rivaled by his ability to devour books in a single sitting. That his wardrobe extended into random cupboards.

His dark romantic eyes catch mine. Catch me staring at him like a pathetic lovestruck girl.

I lose myself in all the work that has now piled up.

[aworldoffandoms]

Runaway - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Long Awaited Answers

Authors Note: Hey everyone. Sorry for the long wait! I’ve had a lot of personal things happen lately (also uni ugh lol) that took precedence than writing but it’s here! I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to my beta reader who looked over this for me. You're the best! :)  

Pairing: Liam x MC [Ariel]

Word Count: 5, 188 (+/-) 

Rating: PG-13 

Warnings: Minor swearing

Summary: Liam gets his answers while Ariel processes Leo’s appearance. A new face appears that spells danger for both Liam and Ariel.

You can find the first few chapters of this fic on my masterlist that's in my bio :)

Tags: @hopefulmoonobject @annekebbphotography @am-i-invisible777 @blznbaby @khakie4 @lauradowning29 @blackcoffee85 @captain-kingliamsqueen @moneyfordiamonds @super-secret-fandom-blog @jovialyouthmusic @zaffrenotes @ao719 @umccall71 @carabeth @furiousherringoperatortoad @pixieferry @pixelpenny  @jlouise88 @dcbbw

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Pixelberry and all characters belong to them. The plot is all mine.

Please let me know if you would like to be tagged!

Today was the day.

Liam bounces on his feet in an unfamiliar show of anxiousness. His face pinched in anticipation as his fists clench and unclench, waiting for Bastien to bring around the car. Plumes of chilled air waft in front of him as he adjusts the heavy woollen collar.

He was fidgeting. That was unheard of. A near constant experience with diplomacy and serving as a good host to any self-impressed general or chancellor visiting the palace showed any sign of restlessness could spell dissatisfaction. How far the calm and collected king had come.

This, however, he determined, was an exemption to that specific rule.

Maxwell shoots a glimpse at Liam’s form, regarding the tense way he carried himself, his posture posed at the ready. Prepared for anything.

Maxwell exchanges a glance with Drake and Olivia, their eyes meeting in shared concern.

“You think he’ll get the answers he wants?” Maxwell asks.

Drake shrugs as his eyes cut to his best friend who had started tapping his foot on the snow-covered pavement impatiently.

“I don’t know, Maxwell. All we know is where we are going and . . . never mind, that sums it up.”

Drake pauses, sending another worried glance at the young man next to him, eyes now downcast and fixated on a few ruts of Moscow pavement.

“Drake. Will you stop?” Olivia huffs as she adjusts the silken collar at her throat. “Liam’s an adult. He doesn’t need you hovering over him. Just leave him be.”

Olivia glances over herself and seems to struggle to extinguish the worry bubbling up from her chest. Maybe her words had a sense of hypocrisy to them. She hadn’t seen Liam like this since the day of the royal wedding when Olivia had spotted him inside the cathedral, casting glances to the large ornate doors almost willing them to open to by sheer force of will alone.

And even that now that seemed like a distant dream. Her heart clenched for her oldest friend, not having seen him smile since that penultimate night. That had to be a record she noted. How many days had it been, a hundred? Two? She’d figure it out later.

She shook her head in disbelief. Olivia, the fearless and headstrong Duchess of Lythikos wished for the sweet, adorable interactions between the King and Queen just to see them both shine with joy.

Ugh. She’s turning soft. What an appalling prospect.

Bastien pulls in front of the hotel and Liam immediately turns to the car slips in silently.

The car ride to the location is silent. A not so subtle undercurrent of tension rides through the car. Most of the occupants in the vehicle decide to overlook it. It assuredly wouldn’t change anything if one were to start a conversation.

With the snow steadily falling, and their surroundings melding into non-descript houses and run down shops, the silence was too much to ignore.

“Are we going to talk about what to expect when we arrive?” Olivia says, irritatedly. Her foot was stuck in between the seat and the door and the way Drake was pushed next to her, it’d be impossible to get it out. Well, not entirely impossible. There were a few ways she could think about, but they involved pain and fury. Not worth it, she decided.

The car falls silent again, yet it was only a moment before there is a long exhale of breath and Liam turns.

“Well...I’m expecting answers at the very least. That’s all we’re telling ourselves today. I want to know why the queen decided to leave. I fear this is my last resort before I just...”

Give up.

It was two simple words. Two short syllables.

He did not wish to give up the pursuit for Ariel but he was on his last tether. There was no softening this conclusion. It was predominantly true. He didn’t want to admit it but...that was to be the culmination if this didn’t end well.

Liam prepares himself as they continue their journey, hand instinctively reaching up to the message securely tucked into the breast pocket of his coat before lowering it. Surely there was no need for it anymore. The words burned into his mind anyway. Why confirm what he already knew?

The words on the page repeat in his mind like a mantra.

Kolomna

25715 Priroz Street…

Knock three times, rap three, wait...

Knock three times, rap three, wait…

“Your Majesty? Sir?”

Liam tore himself away from the chant and meets Bastien’s gaze the best he could.

“We have arrived at our destination.”

Liam glances out the window and as in the photo that was sent to him, he finds a nondescript, run-down apartment complex with an elaborate arrangement of graffiti on the wall next to two sets of doors, the cruelty of Russia’s weather wearing down the material of the large metal doors. Both had further complicated designs of graffiti on them and words in Russian that read something along the lines of this area being some sort of hellhole.

Liam’s fluency in Russian was good, though more than a little rusty after years of non-use. Of course, the language seemed to vex everyone except for Kiara. Little did.

Liam gives an uneasy smile to his bodyguard, stepping out of the car. The snow falling around him in gentle, elegant waves contrasted with the warring of emotions inside Liam’s gut.

Anticipation. Fear. Nervousness. Curiosity. Anger.

That last one wasn’t a surprise. Behind the carefully shot photos and stoic face, the anger had simmered. It would be a lie to say he didn’t remember his cotillion classes and Constantine’s stern warnings. Anger was not something to be shown in the face of others. His father would be proud to see his teachings had survived, even if he had not.

Liam squares his shoulders as he strides to the door, almost wincing at the soft crunching sound from the few layers of snow that had fallen since the early hours of the morning.

“You ready, Liam?” Drake says eyes fixed on the doors rather than his friend for once. Despite the cold air stinging at the skin, he reached for Olivia’s hand before sending an apologetic smile, at the sight of her famous fiery glare.

Liam is oblivious to anything taking place, only staring at the door for a few moments, his entourage waiting patiently for him until he’s ready.

Three knocks, three raps. Wait. The wind whistling through the trees and dancing with the snow is the only sound to settle in the air encircling them. The little puffs of breath swirling through the air stop as the group holds their breath.

There’s the whisper of footsteps behind the door and the unmistakable sound of locks being turned screeches the door open.

His eyes widen as he catches the sight of the individual standing in front of him. No, it couldn’t be. The last time Liam had seen Princess Marguerite of Monaco, it had been at an engagement dinner party to that obnoxious American billionaire. How far both of them had come since then.

The person on the other side of the door gives him a small, timid smile, her amber locks still pinned up in a dignified bun, her posture set with quiet grace, bracing for what was to occur.

Despite the situation and the precariousness of what was happening, she’s polite as she gives Liam a slight curtsy.

“Hello, Your Majesty.”

Liam cannot believe his eyes as he stares at the woman in front of him as she continues to speak, her voice carrying over to them in the elegant and sophisticated drawl of her native accent.

“I believe you will have some questions for me. Please come in, out of the cold. I will answer the questions you are longing for.”

Liam doesn’t hesitate as he steps through the doors, following the woman in. With a cursory scan around the apartment, Liam notices small, dignified touches of her royal upbringing. The table neatly set with a bright, but fading bouquet despite the icy chill blowing in through padded windows. A tapestry hanging down beside the entryway to the kitchen, the familial crest on full display proudly. A single porcelain teacup quivering precariously on the cracked stone countertop, painted with a delicate flower, though the petals were worse for wear now.

“So…” Drake starts, wanting to diffuse the tension that had settled into the room ever since they discovered who was behind the door.

How could she be here? Wasn’t it dangerous?

The lounge room is cramped with a small, worn divan which they all take their places, finding places to sit where allowed. The woman smiles, dutifully crossing her legs at the knees, leaning them slightly just as any noblewoman would do when in public. Marguerite meets the gazes of all those that reside in her lounge room and when her eyes finally land on Liam, she gives him a short encouraging smile.

“Please. Go ahead, Your Majesty. I’ve been expecting you.”

Liam’s smile falters as those emotions bubble up, but he manages to keep down the rage wanting to erupt from him. “Well... where do I start?”

Marguerite offers some sensible words. “How about from the beginning?”

Liam lets out a shaky chuckle. “Well...I suppose that is a good place to start as any.”

Liam fights to pull his thoughts to string together coherently. All the questions he anticipated asking her about were already jumbling inside his brain, crashing into each other and breaking into tiny little off thoughts.

“Why are you in Russia, Your Highness?”

Marguerite makes a slow exhale, her shoulders slumping with the action, her earlier tenacity slowly ebbing away to be replaced by a deep sadness. Her teal eyes dull as she answers him.

“I am here because it is the only place where both my family and I can be protected.”

Liam’s face contorts in confusion as she talks. His ears pick up on the tone, the words sounding practiced like she was reciting off a teleprompter or at least a practiced speech of some sort. It was more like she was trying to convince herself of the fact more so to herself than to him.

“Safe? What could warrant you leaving your family, worrying them, and your country...to be holed up here? And alone, no less?”

Marguerite exhales again, the sound dejected.

“It is because of my family that I had to leave. They would be harmed if I did not leave.”

“Harmed? By who?”

Marguerite freezes, her eyes growing in panic. Liam reads her expression and he can tell that she has disclosed too much too early. She sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth.

In the few moments that pass, Marguerite must come to a conclusion because her face contorts into a firm mask of calculated divination, chin lifting up in a dignified show of her lineage, her jaw clenched in purpose.

“I am here because the Sons of Earth made me. Anton Severus more specifically.”

The floor drops. It’s happened once or twice in his life, Liam admits. There was the moment when the alarms had been raised for the queen’s disappearance at their wedding, at the sound of his father’s exultant voice as he proclaimed the new king. This was perhaps the third or so. If he was counting.

Nazario had been right. Liam had suspected it all along, but the now that it was confirmed, it seemed like a whole new level of hell.

“What would the Sons of Earth have to do with you going missing? This was Cordonia’s failing, not Monaco’s. I see no reasons why you would be . . . implicated.

The Princess of Monaco doesn’t explain but only answers his question with a small nod and Liam bites back a snappish retort. What more could this man want? The crown had spent the last two years trying to find common ground with the neighboring countries after the fear Anton spread through Cordonia and beyond the borders. And now, this organisation was bringing Europe to its knees. Was all his work wasted for no real goal in the end?

But now that it was said to his face, it all made sense. All the puzzle pieces coming together.

“Can you tell me what Anton Severus has to do with any of this?”

As soon as Anton’s name leaves Liam’s lips, the petite princess’ face contorts into utter disgust as she spits out expletives in French, all former hints of glory and royal upbringing gone within an instant.

Gaining her composure, she offers them a self-practiced smile.

“Anton has claimed the figurative ‘throne’ of the Sons of Earth. He took over from his father who died a few months after your marriage to Queen Ariel, though I suspect you already know this. He still believes in the teachings of the Nevrakis’ lineage but he has resorted to executing that on a much . . . larger scale.”

Liam slumps backward in his chair, calming his shaking hand as to not betray a hint of weakness. So, because Anton couldn’t obtain the throne of Cordonia he’d try his hand at the European monarchies.

Could Anton be so arrogant to assume he could get away with trying to usurp the sovereignties of Europe? How could he have that much power? Ludicrous.

Bastien stood straight from his place by the entryway to the lounge room, his brow pinched in concentration. His hands crossed in the center, a silent signal he wished to speak. Liam would know. He and the bodyguard had perfected it years ago for dinner parties and boorish meetings with foreign leaders. How he wished it was that situation now and not this.

“What is it, Bastien?” Liam asks, himself fixing his posture to match that of Bastien. Alert. Weary.

Bastien raises his eyes to Liam and rests his arms behind his back. “From what Princess Marguerite has given us I believe I can connect some of the dots from the interrogation we conducted in Cordonia.”

He moves closer to the group of nobles huddled together in the apartment as his eyes rest on Marguerite. “Your Highness, King Liam had me conduct some investigations on some prisoners from the multiple assassination attempts on him and the queen. We got some mediocre information, however, there was one name that kept resurfacing.”

“Does the name Gregory Williams mean anything to you?”

Marguerite shakes her head. “No. Do you have a photo of him?”

A little slip of paper holds the spotlight as Marguerite plucks it delicately from Bastien’s hands, the royal mask of serenity passing back on her face before snapping back to one of anger. Behind her, the clock chimes a tiny song.

“I suppose I’ve had the misfortune to come across him. He was the one that threatened my life by knifepoint. Even though he‘s one man — he has connections.”

“Well...that is unsettling to hear. Tell me, Marguerite...over the past few years I have been trying to find her but I have come up with nothing. Do you know where my wife is?”

There is a long pause before Marguerite sighs, standing up, her shoulders slumping as she runs her hands along her arms. In the moment, the born and raised princess disappears, a timid child fearing the wrath of others surfacing. She stares outside the window for a moment, feasting her eyes on the soft snow falling to the ground and blanketing the streets in white, before she turns.

“Marguerite? Is there something you’d like to tell me?”

“Yes, there is. I know she won’t like it but I feel that you have to know…”

Liam’s brow furrows at her words, leaning closer to gauge her expression. She was definitely in a fight for logic right now.

“And what may that be, Your Highness?”

Marguerite sighs, running a hand down her face in a rare show of normalcy without the need for decorum.

“I know where Ariel is.”

If he was floored before it was nothing compared to what he felt next. Now it was as if he’d been hit by the royal train then hit with all the weapons in Olivia’s estate. Knowing Olivia, it would have been quite a lot.

“Excuse me? What did you just say?”

Blue eyes lock onto deadly serious green ones, one frantic, the other painfully calm.

“I know where your wife is and I will tell you but you have to promise that you will not immediately go to her. There are lives at stake here.”

The rest of the room seems to disappear for a hot moment, a sharp contrast to the biting swirls of winter knocking at the windows.

“Hang on...this is insane. How do we know you aren’t stringing us along like some piece of wolf bait?”

Olivia Nevrakis stares at the princess with a trademark burning gaze. Marguerite stares right back, unflinching.

“I am not, and to prove it to you I will give you her location.”

Liam leans forward, his stomach twists in anxious anticipation. He needed to know as the desperation of it crawling up his throat and lodging there.

The room stares at the princess in silence and she opens her mouth to tell them before a forceful knock hammered at the door, sharp and undulating.

Marguerite's eyes flutter closed and she heaves a sigh. Reluctantly mumbling something incoherent, she nevertheless heads over to it, her posture that of someone who had been stuck in place for too long and had almost lost hope.

The door opens and the princess gasps as her head turns to the group in horror before snapping back to the shrouded figure standing in the doorway.

“What--what are you doing here?”

The figure steps through, pushing the princess to the side and slows to a stop in front of them, his lips pulled up in a smile which made Liam’s skin crawl. He knew what he was capable of. If he wasn’t dangerous four years ago -- he was now.

“Well, if it isn’t the King of Cordonia and his posse. I’ll have to say . . . it is quite a pleasure to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the same for you.”

Anton laughs and the sound is hollow, full of arrogance.

“Ha! Well . . . I’m sure you’ll be able to appreciate what I have in store for you.”

“And what may that be, Anton?” Liam scoffed, stepping out from behind one Bastien furiously trying to tug him back.

Anton raises his eyebrow as if Liam should know what he’s talking about. He steps closer.

“Oh, Liam. After all these years I would have thought you’d be more smarter.”

“What do you want?” Liam spits out the words, the venom behind them clear.

“It’s better if you offer me no resistance. There is someone I think you should meet.”

“And who could I possibly want to see from you?”

Anton’s gaze flicks over to Olivia who was standing behind Drake before his gaze rested on Liam again.

“Come along now. It’s rude to keep the queen waiting.”

***

Ariel lets out a shuddering breath as she peers at the man before her. The low din of conversation in the tavern all but a dull echo in her ears.

Leo gives her a grin, still set in that easy relaxation that she’s grown to love and hate at the same time.

“So . . . are you going to tell me why you’re in Alaska and not by Liam’s side? Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful,” he gushes, raising his hands in mock defensiveness. “But I don’t think you’re the Queen of Alaska.”

Humour, mischievousness and a free-spirit come to mind when describing Leo, being blunt was not one of them.

Ariel’s haunches rise and she narrows her eyes in defense, her voice falling to a low hiss. “I could ask you the same thing too. Alaska? Really?”

Leo’s mouth quirks in an amused smirk. “I’ve always wished to visit Quebec. Katherine however, wanted to be here. And of course, like the good man I am, I most politely acquiesced.”

The woman beside Leo gives Ariel a slight, timid smile and matches that with a faint attempt at a royal wave. “Hello, Your Majesty. Please, call me Katie.”

Ariel shushes her, well aware Tiana was more than likely eyeing her from her spot behind the bar. People were more than fair to gossip in this tiny town than to come across a grizzly bear, which Ariel had just come across the other day.

“Serena!”

Leo and Ariel stare each other down, Ariel not registering her alias until a cold hand clamps down on her shoulder, letting go immediately when she jumped in shock.

“Are you alright, honey?” Tania says, worry creasing her forehead as she glances from Leo to Ariel in quick succession.

Ariel gives her co-worker the well-practiced smile she learned while surviving under the hawk-like gaze of Cordonia’s press.

“I am fine, Tania. Can you be able to take my tabs two, six and eight? They have orders waiting. Please?”

Tania stalls for a minute, her eyes staring Ariel down, yet she relents and gives a nod.

“Sure. I’ll tell Herman that you’re taking your break, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Thanks, sweetie. I owe you.”

Tania gives Ariel a wink as she tucks her notepad in the pocket of her apron, the sharp ding of the bell signaling a new order splits the air.

“Definitely. I’ll hold you to it.”

Ariel gives one last quick glance around the tavern before she sighs heavily and slides down in the booth with Leo and Katie.

The air’s quiet despite the din of clinking glasses and scraping forks nearby until Leo clears his throat, pushing a tiny cup of weak coffee towards the waitress.

“Ariel…” Leo starts, his voice gentle.

Ariel flicks her eyes to his face and finds his expression somber. Gone was the mischievous prince who loved to have a laugh. Now, all she could see was a man who was concerned for those he loved.

“Leo. You can’t tell anyone you saw me.”

“And why not?”

“Because you can’t. It’ll put me in danger and Liam. You can’t.”

Leo sighs heavily, running a hand through his blonde hair as he glances over to his companion, giving her a warm smile.

“Katie, babe, would you be able to give Ariel and I some privacy? Family stuff, you know.”

Katie gives an understanding smile to Leo, leaning over to kiss his cheek before getting out of the booth and perusing the selection of music on the jukebox.

Ariel glances at Katie and around the tavern, just about anything to avoid the oncoming conversation. Why did she decide on Alaska? Why didn’t she go to Siberia or Antarctica? Those were places that people couldn’t find her, probably because she would have frozen to death within a week. Now, sitting here with a man she newly feared, that seemed all the more reasonable.

“Now that my wife is gone...would you care to explain what the hell is going on?”

Leo’s hands squeeze hers and she doesn’t realise she’s crying until he slips her a handkerchief from the pocket of his winter jacket. It’s a little crumpled maybe, but clean. The latter surprises her.  

Ariel gives Leo a smile and dabs the piece of cotton underneath her eyes to catch the tears running down her face.

“Okay, I’ll tell you . . . but again, you have to promise me that you will not tell Liam or Drake or any of them. I cannot have them coming after me. It’s even more dangerous for you to be here. They have eyes everywhere. It’s a miracle that I’ve lasted this long…”

Ariel glances at Leo and finds his expression blank, as usual, the massive question mark in his eyes evident in the way his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth turns down in confusion.

Ariel sighs again, shifting in her seat as she leans closer to him, dropping her voice to a low murmur.

“Anton is after Liam’s throne again but this time, he won’t just take Cordonia’s throne. He’s going to take the whole of Europe if he can. That’s why royals have been going missing.”

Leo holds up his hands as a gesture for her to stop. “Wait . . . how is Anton making these royals go missing?”

“He’s using their families against them. Choosing which ones go missing. It’s not going to be long before the entirety of the European crowns fall.”

Ariel leans forward, grasping Leo’s hands in hers tightly, her eyes wide as she stares at him.

“Leo, you must understand that Anton is holding us all hostage in the manner of threatening of removing those we love from our lives permanently. He’s reigning us in, and I can’t get out,” Ariel pleaded. “None of us can. If we get out, then the others lose their lives. There’s no way any of us can win here. My guess is that Anton is doing this on purpose to make each monarchy falter so he can easily swoop in and take control.”

Leo stares off in contemplation. “Hmm...I wonder…”

She leans closer to him, her palms flat on the table as the tavern’s jukebox switches to an upbeat Dolly Parton song. A few patrons whoop with boisterous joy at the song choice and Katie smiles from far away, so blinding she could feel it at the back of her head.

“What is it, Leo?” Ariel’s tone is almost forceful, her heartbeat echoing in her ears.

Leo swallows, his voice calm and neutral, not at all revealing any of the dread that Ariel was feeling as her pulse quickened in her veins.

“European Crown Summit.”

“The Crown Summit?”

Ariel blinked. Liam had talked about it once or twice before, sharing the stories of the Spanish queen and her fumbles, how a certain minor Greek nobleman had attempted to carry off a French marchioness, how an eccentric Norwegian duchess had claimed her pearls to have been stolen.

“The Crown Summit,” Leo shrugged. “It’s all Anton could ever want. A bunch of crowns, kings, and queens in one place. Take them out, and it’s all over. Don’t stress though.”

Shit. This was the kind of knowledge her contacts needed to know. It was unlikely they’d hear the news on the shores of Indonesia or the edges of Laos without her.

It gave them an in to ending this with Anton, once and for all.

She had the means to. Why not flaunt them for once.

“How do you know about this, Leo?”

Leo gives Ariel a smirk, shrugging his shoulders as he leans back against the booth, his earlier shock dissolving into the relaxed free-spirited man Ariel knew all too well.

“I visited my brother a few months back and he mentioned it. But it didn’t last long. Never does these days now that I think about it.”

Leo glances at Ariel and for the first time since he showed up, she saw the spark of that anger. If she was any other person, she would have shrunk back against the heat of the glare but she had gone through too much in the past to crumble under one gaze.

“Liam’s risking his reign to find you. Cordonia is failing in his neglect and he doesn’t see it because he is trying to get the queen back. If he knew you were only a stone's throw away….”

Ariel's head snaps up at his last words, the panic residing in her chest expanding to full-on terror.

“No! Please, Leo. He can’t. I know that I have hurt him but this is for the best.”

Leo growls as his hand comes down on the table with a sharp slap in his anger. How could she be so callous?

“For the best? How can you ripping my brother’s heart out be for the best?”

“It has to be, Leo. I’ve done too much to fail already.”

“Well...you’ve already succeeded in that,” Leo scoffed.

Ariel’s heart drops to her stomach like a stone, her throat suddenly thick with tears. She clears her throat as she crossing her arms along her chest.

Ariel’s next words were weak, defeated. It was like all the hope had abandoned her and all was left was just a shell of emotions, nothing of substance.

“I’m sorry, Leo. I know I fucked up...but I did it for him.”

“Ariel...I know that what you did was for the sake of him...but don’t you think three years is enough? I know that I couldn’t be away from my wife for that long. We’ve been married a year and even I miss her after only a few hours.”

Ariel sniffles, the tears that she had been trying to avoid now freely flowing down her cheeks.

“Liam’s going to hate me. He’s going to be so angry with me when he finds out all this. I’m not even there and I’ve hurt him.”

“He won’t hate you, Ariel. He’d be overjoyed. He loves you more than anything.”

Leo gives Ariel a wink as Katie returns to the table, slinking in beside Leo as both of them lean forward and give each other a kiss.

Ariel pushes down the pang growing in her chest with a waitress smile, gathering up her stack of menus and reclipping the tiny pager at her waist.

“Well….my break is over. While I’m here would you guys like anything?”

Leo and Katie grin at her, nodding their heads as they quickly glance over the menu and recite their orders to her. She jots them down and steps away to send them to the kitchen but she backtracks to table twelve.

“Leo...before you go. Promise me that you won’t tell them. Please.”

Leo stares at Ariel for a while before he gives her a reassuring smile, nodding his head. “I won’t, Ariel.”

Ariel nods, stepping away from the table and walks to the kitchen to hand the ticket to the cook, who groans at the sight of a complicated order, the low din of conversation now a loud roaring in her ears as she opens herself up to the sounds around her.

Boisterous conversations. Clinking glasses. Joyous, drunken laughter. Classic country music.

Perhaps she could forget for just a little.

***

Meanwhile...

The phone rings in his pocket and the hooded man sighs.

“What could be so important that you had to disturb me from my important meeting?”

“Sir, we have secured the last of the royals. It is time to implement our plans.”

[zoeygreensimblr]

Wonderland (Episode 53)

"Happy birthday Princess" Angus greeted me the morning of my 19th birthday. He was in the kitchen cooking me pancakes.

"Thank you baby" I say, sliding up next to him and wrapping my arms around him. Angus had taken the day off work to spend with me but he wouldn't let me know what he had planned, "Can I get just one clue of what we are doing today?" I ask him, watching the cheeky smile spread across his face

"We are going to get very dirty" He teases, winking at me, "Eat your breakfast, we've got a big day ahead of us" He places a plate with 3 pancakes in front of me and I drizzle maple syrup all over them and take my plate to the dinning table.

"Is Tess and Brian joining us?" I question him, usually Tess would wake me up on our birthday but I hadn't heard a peep out of her this morning.

"Brian took her out for breakfast but they are meeting up with us for lunch" He explains, sitting himself down at the table with his own stack of pancakes covered in strawberry jam.

"And where exactly will lunch be?" I ask, trying my best to squeeze any information out of him.

"Your breakfast is getting cold Princess" He tells me, ignoring my question while smiling to himself, he loves surprising me. "Pack your swimsuit though" He says and that's the only clue I'm given.

The first surprise on the birthday list is Newcrest Day Spa, a place known for it's luxurious mud baths, yoga, sauna and range of massages, we are greeted by a tall, thin, blonde woman with glowing skin who offers us cucumber water on arrival.

"Good morning Mr McKenzie and Miss Green, my name is Lola, we have you booked in for stone massages at 10am and a mud bath at 11, feel free to join a yoga class or unwind in the sauna, we also offer hand and feet massages."  Lola tells us, handing over plush white robes for us to change into, "Down the hall you will find change rooms with lockers, your locker is number 66, and here is your passcode to unlock it" Lola say, handing over a small piece of paper with a four digit code.

Angus and I make our way to the change room where we change out of our clothing and into our swimsuits, wrapping the robes around ourselves.

"How did you get a booking here? I've heard it's booked out months in advance" I ask, amazed.

"The owner is a client at the gym, I had her pull some strings and get us in" He tells me proudly, he knows he's done well, this is nothing like the day spa Tess and I go to for massages in Brindlton Bay.

We make our way upstairs to the massage suite, take off our robes and hand them on a rack then lay face down on the massage tables and wait. Two women enter the suite and introduce themselves as Chloe and Nicole.

"Happy birthday Zoey, ready for your stone massage?" Chloe asks me cheerfully.

"Yes please" I reply, smiling over at Angus.

My hot stone massage leaves me feeling very relaxed and refreshed.

"Please try our lemon, honey and ginger detox tea" Nicole offers us as we are putting our fluffy robes back on, "It helps elevate your body of toxins". We take a cup of tea each, it tastes sweet with a hint of citrus and ginger, drinking it on the way to the bathing room. The mud baths are already set up for us so we, once again remove our robes and climb into the baths.

"So this is what you meant when you said we'd be getting dirty?" I ask Angus, rubbing the green facial mask on my face and placing two slices of cucumber over my eyes, I relax into my bath.

"I did, I just didn't realise what I was getting myself into, I have mud going into every opening" He laughs.

"Thank you Angus, this has been a great surprise" I tell him.

"The day isn't over yet Zoey, you've still got to pick out your present" He says, dropping a clue.

"I have to pick out my own present?" I ask him, confused

"Shhh Zoey, it's relax time, all will be revealed soon" He tells me, laughing to himself.

We finish our mud baths and then take separate showers to clean ourselves off.

"Time for lunch my Birthday Princess" Angus tells me when we meet up in the change room. I'd been eating small meals lately to keep the morning sickness away but today I was craving a juicy cheeseburger.

Next door to the day spa there's a bowling alley and waiting out front is Tess and Brian.

"Happy Birthday Teresa" I exclaim, wrapping my sister in a tight hug.

"Happy Birthday Zo, have you had a good day so far?" Tess asks me and I smile brightly at her.

"Oh yeah, I had a massage and a mud bath, what about you?" I enquire.

"Brian took me out for breakfast with his parents and gave me this beautiful gold locket" Tess tells me excitedly, "What did Angus give you?" she asks me curiously.

"Zoey's gift is coming, I'm taking her to pick it out after we bowl" Angus tells Tess before I get a chance to open my mouth. Tess and I exchange looks but she doesn't say a word, I think she knows what my gift is but she's not going to spoil the surprise.

We enter the bowling alley and get assigned a lane. The lanes are all black with neon lighting up the sides that make the bowling balls glow when you bowl. Angus orders food for our group while Brian enters our names into the computer.

"Brian is a professional bowler, he's even on a team in the league" Tess boasts, she's so proud of her man.

"Meanwhile I may need to put the gutter rails up so my ball doesn't go in the gutter on each throw" I laugh, I always have fun when I bowl but I'm not the most co-ordinated bowler.

"Well since it is your birthday I think that can be arranged" Brian says as he hits the option on the computer.

Angus returns with our table number and a sparkling pink bowling ball.

"For you my Princess" He says, handing me the ball.

We played 3 games of bowling, with Brian winning 2 and Angus winning 1 and even though Tess and I didn't win we still had a blast playing. Angus had ordered cheeseburgers and fries for lunch, he knew I'd been craving it and that it would be a long time before I get to enjoy another cheeseburger again.

"Are you ready for your present now my sweet girl?" Angus asked me after lunch.

"It's been driving me crazy so yes, I'm more than ready" I laugh.

We say goodbye to Tess and Brian and head back towards Brindlton Bay.

"Are you having a good day so far Zoey?" Angus asks me, reaching over and taking my hand

"This has been the best birthday" I tell him, trying to watch where we are driving so I can understand what my present may be, Brindleton Bay isn't really a shopping district, it's just a small town by the water.

"Your parents have something planned for You and Tess later this afternoon and they want to do dinner at the restaurant tonight" He informs me, I knew we would be having a meal at the restaurant at some stage today, it's a birthday tradition.

Angus pulls the car up outside of the Brindleton Bay Animal Shelter and my eyes go wide, now I understand what he meant by me picking my present.

"I'm getting a puppy?" I ask him with absolute joy.

"A puppy or an adult dog, it's up to you, the dogs that are brought here have been mistreated and are looking for a loving home and you've got so much love to give Zoey" Angus says to me, smiling brightly.

We walk into the animal shelter and are greeted by Max, the vet who runs the animal shelter.

"You must be Zoey, happy birthday" Max says, holding out a hand for me to shake, he then leads us through a door where there's about 12 dogs, all separated into pens, some with others, some alone, most of them playing, all except one, a Maltese terrier sitting alone in her pen, she comes up to the side of the pen when she sees us approach and rolls onto her back.

"This is Lily, she was brought in about a week ago, she's very shy and quiet but she loves having her belly rubbed" Max explains, I reach my hand down and rub her tummy as she wiggles around, I notice that she's very under weight for an adult dog though.

"Was she neglected?" I ask Max and he nods his head.

"Unfortunately yes, she's started putting on a bit of weight in the week that we've had her, we've been feeding her small meals of dry and wet food, she wouldn't eat at first but now she can't get enough of it" Max tells us. I look at Angus, he's smiling back at me because he knows that Lily is the one for us.

"We will have to get some dog food and a bed for her to sleep on and a leash so I can walk her every day" I say to Angus, making a list of everything we need for Lily, he crouches down beside me and pats Lily.

"It's all been taken care of Princess, why do you think I got you out of the house so early?" He says, laughing.

We finalise the adoption of Lily and Max places her into a carry cage to take in the car.

"I'd like to make a donation to the shelter as well" Angus tells Max, pulling a cheque from his wallet and handing it over.

"Thank you very much for this, we are a non-for profit organisation and do rely on donations from the community to keep us going, I appreciate your generosity Mr McKenzie" Max says to Angus, shaking his hand.

"Zoey is going to be a vet one day herself and she loves animals so we are happy to help out" Angus says to Max.

As we are driving home from the animal shelter, I can't help but overthink what Angus said to Max about me becoming a vet.

"Do you still believe I can go to Uni this year?" I question him, I honestly thought it was off the cards for me since I found out I was expecting.

"Zoey, becoming a vet is your dream job and I'm going to help you achieve that" He tells me, smiling brightly at me.

"But how? You're going to be doing year 12 yourself this year so you can get into Uni too" I stress.

"Well I've been thinking about that too, I thought I wanted to get a degree but I'm kinda happy where I am in life, I'm training Tess up on how to do all the book work and scheduling and I love being a personal trainer." He says to me, he's willing to sacrifice his own dreams to help me achieve mine but I feel a strong pang of guilt, I don't want him to lose out.

Angus pulls into our driveway and I notice there's a shiny, red car parked out the front of our house, I don't recognise the car as belonging to anyone I know.

"Do we have visitors?" I ask Angus.

"Not that I know of" He replies with a smile spreading across his face, "Why do you ask?"

"The red car, parked out on the curb in front of our house" I tell him as if he didn't see it there too.

"Oh that car, that's yours" He informs me, fishing a key out of his pocket and handing it over to me but I can't accept it.

"No, Angus, this is too much, you can't buy me a car for my birthday" I exclaim but he just laughs, takes my hand and places the key in it.

"Zoey you needed a car and it's nothing too flashy, just a little Honda that will be easy for you to drive, plus you may have appointments for the baby when I'm not home and it will give me peace of mind to know you're safe and not on the murder train" He explains. I lean over and kiss him.

"Thank you baby, I love you so much" I say to him.

Walking into our house is like walking into a puppy wonderland, there's a new dog bed and chew toys, a giant ball, feeding bowl, leash and a dog collar. I place Lily's travel cage on the ground and she slowly steps out, wary of her new surroundings.

"Tess come meet Lily" I call out to my sister who pokes her head out from her room.

"Who is Lily?" She asks me and then she lays eyes on our new housemate and she comes running out from her room and sits on the floor where Lily is, Lily rolls onto her back and Tess knows to rub her belly.

"This is Lily, she's 2 years old, she's a bit shy but loves belly rubs" I tell Tess.

"She's adorable" Tess says as she plays with our new dog, I join them on the floor to play, grabbing the ball and rolling it to Lily who gets it and then takes it to Tess who then rolls it back to Lily who brings it to me.

"She loves to play" Angus remarks as he watches Lily run around between Tess and I. Lily is going to be very loved in our house.

While we were out my Mother had delivered dresses for Tess and I to wear that night, every year on our birthday she buys us a matching outfit but in different colours, this year our outfit was a long, sparkling dress, Tess' was blue and mine was magenta, the dresses were gorgeous but when it came time to putting them on I struggled to zip mine up.

"I've put on weight, I feel so fat" I complained to Angus, giving up and throwing myself down on the bed.

"You're not fat Zoey, you're pregnant, this is all normal" He reassures me, holding out his hands to pull me back off the bed, once on my feet he helps zip up my dress and he manages to get it zipped all the way, "You look beautiful my Princess" He tells me as he kisses my neck softly.

"People will start to notice soon" I fret, I can't keep this secret for much longer.

"Zoey, it's been a month, I think we're good for a little bit longer" He laughs as he takes my hand and spins me around and we dance together in our room.

We arrived at the restaurant just after 6, straight away I notice the 'closed' sign on the door so I knew this wasn't going to be just the usual family birthday dinner. Mum greets us at the door.

"Happy Birthday my beautiful baby girls" She cries as she hugs Tess and I, "And why didn't you tell me Zoey?" She asks me, I feel my heart jump up into my throat.

"Tell you what Mum?" I ask nervously, surely she didn't figure it out already.

"That you got into Brichester, I'm so proud of you" She exclaims excitedly, I had been so sweep up in all the baby drama that I had forgot to even check my results, Mum hands over the acceptance letter she had stashed on the hostess stand.

"I actually forgot to check online" I confess and my Mother just laughs

"Well luckily they send an actual letter of acceptance out and you were granted a full scholarship too" My Mother says, she cant wipe the smile from her face.

"Congratulations Zoey" Tess screams as she throws her arms around me.

"Did you get into Brichester too?" I ask Tess, she hadn't mentioned anything about her results or Uni

"I didn't apply, I decided that Uni wasn't for Me and that I'm going to do some art classes locally while I also run the gym this year" Tess tells me and I'm so happy for her, it took her a long time to figure out what her passion in life was but she was always so good at art and design, "And I got an offer to paint a mural on that giant blank wall in the city, the council saw what I painted at the gym and wants to see more of my art"

"I'm so proud of you too Teresa" My Mother says to my sister, wrapping her in a big hug, "My creative and artistic baby"

Inside the restaurant all our friends are waiting, there's a table at the back full of presents and the dinning area is decorated with balloons and streamers.

"Happy Birthday girls" Cassie says to Tess and I, handing us a glass of champagne each, I look at Tess, knowing I cant drink mine but not wanting to be questioned why.

"Thanks Cass, I'll take Zoey's though because she's driving tonight" Tess says, taking both glasses from Cassie.

"You're driving on your birthday, that seems unfair" Cassie pouts

"I got a new car and wanted to drive" I explain, only half lying. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, luckily I see our food is be brought, "I'm starving, let's eat"

"Don has been preparing this for you all afternoon" Mum says as she places our food in front of us, an appetiser of savoury bacon love petals followed by our main course, sizzled brisket over sour clover salad, I knew Don had been trying out some new, experimental foods to add to his menu, just to keep things fresh and this was delicious, so full of flavour. After dinner Don came out of the kitchen with chocolate sponge cake with blue icing, topped with a "19" candle. When we were kids, Tess would blow out the candles first because she was born 20 minutes before me but as we got older we started blowing them out together, so our wishes would be sent out at the same time.

"Ready Zo?" Tess asks me after everyone has sang Happy Birthday to us

"Yep" I confirm, and together we blow out our candle as our friends and family cheer.

"Happy Birthday my baby girls, nineteen years around the sun and both so beautiful and smart" Our Mother gushes over us, wrapping her arms around both Tess and I.

"We couldn't have gotten this far without you Mum, or Don" I tell her, kissing her on the cheek.

"Thank you girls, I love you both very much" Don says to Tess and I, handing us a knife so we can cut the cake and share the pieces out.

"Did you make a wish" Angus whispers to me as I hand him a piece of cake.

"I did" I tell him, placing my hand on my stomach, "And in 8 months time we will see if it comes true"

[islareeveswriting]

World of Our Own| Harry Styles Uni Au | Chapter 9

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LISTEN TO Keeping Your Head Up Birdy Everyone keeps a darker place To lose control, you're not alone And when you come looking for embrace I know your soul; I'll be your home Til you can breathe on your own

Harry couldn’t remember the outgoing little boy his mum described when they were looking at old family photos. Harry couldn’t remember ever being anyone but the boy who shut himself away because of nerves and anxiety, in fear of what could potentially go wrong. He knew he did it, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier to stop it. Harry often felt like he had a steam train coming straight for him, but he was powerless to slow it down let alone cease it’s journey.

If Harry stopped to think about it, he knew there were plenty of negative outcomes that could result from the photoshoot with Rae. At best he might embarrass himself or the photos might not work. At worst she could decide to mention the kiss that both of them seemed to have silently agreed to leave in New York.

Three weeks had passed since their trip and they’d continued their friendship as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t that Harry hadn’t wanted to talk about it, he had. At the time he just kept talking himself down from it, telling himself, if Rae wanted to, she’d bring it up. Of course he didn’t know she was telling herself the same thing, not wanting to make him feel awkward or freak him out. But now they’d let three weeks pass, and aside from their own personal reasons for not bringing it up, it felt like too long had passed to do so.

Despite it all, somehow, despite even himself, that morning he’d managed to push it all to the back of his mind. Front and centre was having a great day with Rae, watching her doing what she loved, and revelling in the feeling of being chosen by her to be photographed for her project. It felt great. It was the second best feeling he knew.

Harry was typically early as he took his long legged, even strides towards the studio building Rae had told him about. He couldn’t help himself. Even when Rae had told him to meet her there, she had things to set up. Even when she assured him that she’d be fine on her own, he found himself eager to make sure he was there before he was needed. It was like the airport all over again, despite everything else, he found he wanted to put himself out there more for her than anyone else he knew.

With two coffees in his hand, he was glad the door had been left open. Inside the studio was a complete parallel to how it appeared outside. Outside it was cloaked in old red brick, slightly crumbling at the edges, flaking black paint on the doors and no windows. Indoors however, was bright white, somehow clinical. Large, heavy lights hung from the ceiling casting an almost neon-esque glow. Rae had her studio lights encircled near the centre of the room, a tripod already set up with her Canon camera, wired up to her laptop set up on a table beside the camera. Harry was a little taken back by how professional it all looked.

Rae stood from where she was crouched on the floor fiddling with leads at the sound of Harry’s feet on the polished concrete floor. She smiled up at him as she sunk her hands into the pockets of her baggy black trousers, the loose jumper tucked in at the front. She looked comfy and relaxed, as she always seemed to. It astounded Harry sometimes, that she just seemed to fit no matter the backdrop she found herself in.

‘Hey, I brought you coffee.’ Harry started, handing Rae one of the cardboard cups, full of coffee. Flat white, extra hot, the way Harry knew she liked it ordered.

‘Oh thanks,’ Rae grinned taking the cup from Harry. ‘I brought you - no wait, I didn’t bring you anything, I don’t know why I said that.’ Rae backtracked quickly, creasing her brow at herself and shaking her head. Harry hummed a quiet chuckle of endearment. At the back of his mind though was the message he had, had from her sister the previous night.

‘You ok?’ Harry asked, trying to be blase, even with the message circling around inside his head.

It was on his phone when he’d gone up to bed. It was on his bedside table charging and when he’d crawled in under the duvet, his book on his lap, he’d grabbed it to have a quick scroll before getting stuck into his latest read.

@essieobrien has sent you a private message

Harry frowned at his screen. He and Rae’s sister had been liking photos on each others Instagram feeds since Christmas. Harry had done it first by accident, liking a photo Elsie posted of Rae at the airport. Since then Elsie had gone on to like anything Harry posted and so Harry had returned the favour. He swiped it open, waiting for the message to load, a little impatiently.

Hey sorry to message, hope you’re good? I just know Rae won’t have said anything but basically its Jonah’s anniversary tomorrow and I don’t like the thought of her being on her own, cause that hasn’t happened before haha. Maybe don’t say anything unless she does, I dunno, but thought you should know and maybe you could just keep an eye on her? Xx

Hi, thanks for letting me know. Yeah I’ll definitely make sure she’s ok, don’t worry. Thanks again xx

‘Yeah, are you?’ Rae asked with furrowed, concerned eyes that didn’t match how Harry knew she might be feeling inside, knowing what he knew. Harry wondered if she was ever selfish.

‘I’m fine.’ Harry smiled with a nod before taking a sip from his coffee. ‘What’s the-’

‘Hiya, I’m here, sorry I’m late.’ The, somewhat, shrill, northern voice rang through the hollow building, echoing off the bare walls and cutting Harry’s question short. Harry watched as Rae glanced past his shoulder to where the voice was coming. A shy smile crept onto her face, her eyes flicking back to Harry for barely a second.

‘Hi Lou, how are you?’ Rae moved past Harry, Harry turning to look towards the visitor. It was clear to Harry, she wasn’t a first year student, but she wasn’t much older than them. Her hair was almost silver and her skin golden. She had a grey vest on that could have done with an iron and a pair of baggy, ripped jeans, flip flops on her feet. She looked friendly, a bright beaming smile the only real thing that caught Harry’s eye.

Harry watched on from a distance as Rae and the new girl greeted one another with a hug. Harry hadn’t seen her before, even around and he knew he’d recognise her if he had. Even so, for some reason he didn’t feel particularly nervous, not by his standards anyway.  At the pit of his stomach was something that resembled anxiety, but it wasn’t half as pointed as the anxiety Harry knew, and although it rose its head at the arrival of this new person, it quickly settled back down to being simply down to the day ahead when he saw Rae greet the stranger so happily and easily. There was serenity in her ease.

‘Harry, this is Lou, she’s here for hair and makeup.’ Rae explained with a smile that Harry could tell was nervous and he was sure he knew why.

‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ Harry extended his hand politely as he spoke, looking Lou in the eye as confidently as he could.

‘You too, I’ve heard so much about you from Rae, nice to put a face to the name.’ She grinned, something endearingly warm about her. Harry chuckled and looked to Rae who he could have sworn was blushing. ‘I’ll be with you in a sec, just gotta go to the loo.’ Lou excused herself and trotted away from Harry and Rae.

‘You coulda told me it wasn’t just the two of us, would have picked up another coffee.’ Harry pointed out nodding towards the cup in Rae’s hand that she took a tentative sip from as he spoke.

‘Sorry, I didn’t want you to get nervous before we’d even begun.’ Rae explained cautiously, spinning the cup around in her fingers and trying to look Harry in the eye but he could see she was looking just shy of them, more at his left temple than anything.

‘Don’t do that.’ Harry urged, taking a step forward, closing the unnecessary gap between them.

‘What?’ Rae questioned, with drawn in eyebrows, finally finding Harry’s eyes as her shadow of guilt turned to something like confusion. She knew she should have just told him, she realised that when she saw the way he looked at her as Lou left the room. However, she hadn’t anticipated how guilty she’d feel when he looked at her like she’d done the only thing he hoped she’d never do and walk on eggshells for his benefit.

‘Treat me like a baby bird,’ Harry all but sighed, the eye roll implicit even if it wasn’t actually there. ‘I’m a big boy.’ Harry stressed with a sarcastic smile to try ease any tension that might be there, even though Rae wasn’t feeling any.

‘But you-’

‘No, I can deal with it,’ Harry cut in, snapping slightly and immediately regretting. Harry took a sign, and fought the urge to reach out for her hand, he wasn’t sure if they did that anymore. That hadn’t been any physical connection since New York, and even though Harry missed it he’d never be the one to rekindle it, so until Rae decided to grab his hand or put her arm around him, or even kiss him again, he’d resigned to learning to go without it. ‘Just don’t please?’ Harry begged.

‘Ok, sorry.’ Rae offered genuinely with a lopsided, half smile. Harry just shook his head and chuckled, as if he could even be close to mad at her.

‘So what’s the plan?’ Harry asked, moving the conversation on before either of them could dwell on what had gone before, long enough to overthink it, even though he already knew he probably would be doing exactly that in his bed that night. Rae bobbed her head and turned on her heel towards where her lights and camera were set up, taking a sip of her coffee as she turned. Harry followed her towards the crux of the setup, virtually on her heels as he walked after her. ‘A bathtub?’ Rae chuckled and nodded.

‘Yeah, don’t panic, no nakedness required.’ Rae assured before Harry’s mind could wander. Harry was admittedly relieved with that information and tried not to sign with it. ‘You bought some old jeans right?’ Harry nodded motioning to the satchel still hanging from his shoulder. ‘Good, so if you don’t mind it’ll be shirt off job.’ Rae winced, cocking her head towards Harry as she told him about the idea for the first time.

‘You’re doing it again.’ Harry told her, raising one eyebrow as if warning a child not to touch the expensive ornament again. ‘Not a baby bird.’ He reminded her. Rae just nodded and looked back at the bath tub.

‘Lou’s gonna make you look wet, you’re gonna get in the bath, shirt off and I’m gonna take some photos kay?’ Rae listed, quickly the way she always did. Rae hadn’t done many shoots like the one she had planned with Harry, as in one with a model, but she’d found, with the few she had done, the less the model knew the better the photos came out. It was as if they weren’t trying to play a part they felt she wanted or needed, and therefore they came across as very natural and relaxed in the photos.

‘Kay.’ Harry beamed, causing Rae to chuckle.

‘Harry, you ready?’ It was that jovial, northern voice that drew them from one another. Harry looked up to Lou and nodded at her, wandering away from Rae towards Lou and begging the anxiety in him to remain subdued the way it had done so far. ‘Do you want to take a sit and pop your shirt off.’ Lou instructed motioning at the chair. Harry did as he was told dropping his bag to the floor by his feet, with his t-shirt and spare jeans, trying not to spare a thought to the fact he was half naked in front of someone he didn’t know, and Rae for the first time. Lou had her things set up on a table that looked like something Harry might have normally found in a primary school. Her set up was such a contrast to how professional it all looked as Harry walked in, it served as a reminder they were just uni kids, doing uni work.

‘So Rae, says you’re an art student.’ Lou began, picking up a brush and pushing it through Harry’s hair. Harry nodded not sure what to say at first. His anxiety had a way of convincing him he wasn’t good at social interaction even though when it came down to it, and he got over the hill of it, he coped fine and could maintain good conversation.

‘Yeah, second year.’ Harry told her. At the back of his mind he was telling himself not to focus on the initial few minutes. Harry knew the first moments were the worst for him, and he was learning to ignore them and not think about them, but just get through them to the part where it felt comfortable. For those first minutes he had to just let be what would happen and not let himself get too far into his head.

‘How’s it going?’ She asked, kindly. Harry had to wonder if Rae had warned her he wasn’t great with new people. If she didn’t know she was obviously good at reading people, if she did, she was doing well to be both sympathetic to him, but not appearing to feel sorry for him.

‘Not so bad, more stressful than first year.’ Harry laughed closing his eyes as something was sprayed into his hair. Harry wasn’t sure why Lou was working on him so efficiently. Surely if Rae needed Harry to look wet he could just dip himself under the bath water, but Harry was aware Lou and Rae definitely knew better than him. ‘Are you at uni?’

‘Yeah, third year though.’ Lou explained beginning to work on Harry’s face. He closed his eyes as she did so, tilting his chin to move his face towards the light a bit. ‘And at the make up school.’ Lou added with a little laugh.

The pair continued to chat as Lou finished up with Harry. Harry felt mentally more relaxed, physically he’d been making sure he looked as relaxed as possible from the moment he sat down. Slowly, though, the urge to find his ring or tug on sleeves he wasn’t wearing, dispersed. He found himself laughing naturally with Lou and not using it as a shield to hide anxiety, because it wasn’t there.

Harry was subconsciously aware that that he didn’t normally feel so calm so quickly around new people. For a while he’d been aware he felt different, he didn’t feel so on edge all the time. Although nerves and anxiety was still a battle for him, there were more mornings than normal when he woke and his heart wasn’t already racing inside his chest for no apparent reason. Less Sunday nights were spent chewing his nails until they were raw, not really focusing on his politics show at all.

Before Harry could even get to thinking about what had happened to cause the change, Lou was humming in satisfaction and smiling happily at him, her eyes scanning over his hair and face. He knew that look, he was sure it was how he looked when he finished a page in his sketchbook that he was happy with.

‘We’re done Rae, wanna come check.’ Lou called still admiring her masterpiece. Harry looked over to Rae though, watched her push herself up from where she was crouched on the floor fiddling with wires, and wander over to Lou and himself. Rae stood next to Lou, looking like the antithesis of the blonde haired, slight, woman. A gentle smile crept onto her face as she looked over Harry, and Harry tried not to blush reminding himself it was Lou’s work that was making her smile. ‘Ok?’

‘Yes, it’s perfect, thank you.’ Rae grinned looking to her friend for a second, but quickly looking back to Harry still grinning flicking her eyes over his hair that Lou had made look wet, styling it in such a way that he looked like he’d got out of the bath. She hadn’t done much to his face, but it looked glossy and damp, the sheen visible in the light. Rae caught his eye quickly though, her smile only getting bigger when she did so. ‘Do you wanna go and put those old jeans on, there’s a toilet through there.’ Rae told Harry, still smiling as always, and pointing towards the back of the room.

Harry nodded and walked towards the door Rae had pointed to. As the door of the single toilet closed behind him, he felt nerves erupt inside his stomach. They rose up from the pit of his tummy like flames from embers that had been smouldering away. They’d been there the whole time, simmering, but now he was alone with only his mind and without Rae to focus on, they boiled over and made him feel like he was teetering on the edge of something he should fear.

With hands threatening to shake, he undid the belt of his everyday, black jeans and pushed them down his legs. Harry stood in front of the mirror over the small sink, staring at himself. He was focused so hard on reasoning with himself and rationalising the day ahead, that he didn’t even really notice the small pink petals dotted in his hair. The sink took his weight as he leant on it, gripping at the cold porcelain until his knuckles turned white. He breathed in until his lungs were so full they felt like they might burst through his ribcage, and his throat ached with the need to release the air. He let it through his slightly parted lips, painfully slowly, counting down from ten as he did so.

He was going to be ok. I’m going to be ok. It’s going to be ok. Harry reassured himself silently in his head, staring into his own eyes in the mirror and not flinching away from the confident words repeating in his mind, in his voice.

Harry took one more of the painstakingly even, deep breaths he’d trained himself into doing. When he felt completely out of control of everything, when he was in a situation that put him on edge, it helped him to feel completely in control of his breath and how far he could push his body. What made him feel worse was when he felt people could sense his anxiety and it was making them uncomfortable. Therefore it was important for him, to at worst keep it hidden behind smiles and laughter, but at best to have it so under control it was hard for him to notice let alone someone else looking on.

Once he’d pulled on the old blue jeans that had been stuffed to the back of his underwear drawer, kept for any occasion that might mean he got dirty, Harry left the toilet. Lou and Rae were around the laptop, Rae stood up and Lou sat beside her on the long legged stool. Rae was talking, Lou looking up to her with a twisted neck, looking a little concerned as she nodded at Rae’s words. Harry couldn’t hear a word of what they were saying, but the way they fell silent and quickly looked to him when they heard his footsteps made him think they might have been talking about him.

Without him wanting it, his mind fell to New York and their kiss. He hadn’t told anyone, and suddenly his heart was beating with the fear that she’d just told Lou. Despite their smiles, he couldn’t help but feel under a spotlight he knew only he could see. It made him want to tell Niall, but he knew that was very different to Rae telling Lou, even if she had, and at the back of his mind he knew she probably hadn’t. Rae wasn’t like that. Even so, Harry felt suddenly isolated. Who could he talk to about what was going on inside him when he saw her smile, saw her name flash on his phone or was in her proximity, when his best friend was her best friend?

Harry didn’t let himself dwell, he self-regulated his thoughts they way he so often did, pulling himself in and away from the feelings rolling around inside. He pushed a smile on and reminded himself of the calm feeling he’d managed to find in the bathroom, the bliss of the deep breaths and the relief of letting the air out of his lungs and his own pace. Slowly he talked himself down from the hyper aware state he felt like he was in. The anxiety that was always just around the corner for him, would not ruin this for Rae, and for once he wouldn’t let it ruin it for him either, he was determined of that.

‘Ok?’ Rae asked moving away from the laptop and delving her hands into her pockets again. Harry nodded as he chucked his jeans to the floor where his bag and t-shirt lie next to the makeup chair.  ‘Great, well hop in and we’ll get started.’ Rae instructed with a smile. Harry was acutely aware of Lou’s presence as he stepped into the bath. The water inside was pink and a floral display was floating inside it, the leaves and petals shifting abruptly as Harry moved the water and sunk into it, glad the water was warm. ‘Is that warm enough?’ Rae called from behind him.

‘Yeah it’s good.’ Harry assured, getting himself comfortable.

‘Ok, good, shout if you start to get cold though and we’ll break and warm it back up.’ Harry nodded as Rae reached his side again, camera in hand. Harry was curious about the colour of the water but chose not to ask, instead focusing wholly on on being exactly and whatever Rae needed him to be.

‘Just relax, just going to do a few test shots, completely chill yeah?’ Rae reassured kneeling beside the bath, getting comfortable on her knees whilst she held Harry’s eyes. He nodded again, relaxing, not letting the nerves inside him (whatever was causing them) distract from what Rae was saying or her comforting tone of voice.

Harry was looking down at his legs and was distantly aware of the camera shutter sound in the background as Rae moved around in his peripheral vision. The more times the camera clicked the more the butterflies wound up inside him. Harry saw Rae stand up from how she was crouched, his eyes followed after her, scanning her from behind, not being able to stop himself from swallowing down on nothing as he watched her hips swing. He was fully aware the stirring inside of him was moving on from more than just a crush, but he was more than fully aware sat in the bath then was not the time to think about it.

As Rae stood at the laptop, her fingers flicking against the trackpad, Harry saw the smile lift the corners of her lips. Nervous anticipation had kept him on edge all morning, not knowing how the photo shoot would go played right into his anxiety’s hands. However, as he saw the content smile on Rae’s face, a smile he was getting to know very well, he felt more relaxed than when he’d stood in front of the mirror taking long, deep, even breaths.

‘They look great Harry.’ Rae beamed, looking up from the screen to meet Harry’s gaze the way she so often did. Harry smiled and let his eyes linger on her unashamedly, the way he regularly caught her doing with him, as she walked back towards him.

‘Are your necklaces gonna be ok?’ Rae asked motioning towards the silver chains that were always around his neck.

‘Yeah they’ll be fine don’t worry.’ Harry told her looking back down at the water now she was next to him.

‘Ok, well just in case.’ Rae murmured, picking up the necklaces and twisting them around his neck so they lay across his back. Harry shivered at the soft brush of her fingertips, but Rae was too focused on the pendants to notice. She’d never been close enough to really see them. Of course she’d noticed the cross that never seemed to come off, but now she also saw the lotus flower engraved into the square piece of silver that hung from the longer necklace. Harry rolled his shoulders and the cross fell back over his shoulders but the lotus stayed facing her and Rae tilted her head at it, deciding to leave the jewellery be.

‘If you just put your head forward,’ Rae directed, moving his head gently with her hand. ‘I’m gonna pour some water over you, ok?’ Harry nodded and closed his eyes as he heard a surge of water from behind him and then began to feel water crashing over his head and pouring over him. Harry could hear the camera shutter clicking incessantly, but was sure his eyes closed wasn’t the look Rae was going for. Harry lifted his hands to his eyes, rubbing the water out of them with his long fingers. Rae was stood to the front of him rather than behind, when he looked up mouth slightly agape, for some reason a little breathless.

‘Look at the water,’ Rae smiled, crouching again. ‘Sink down a bit.’ Harry heard the camera click. Suddenly he was feeling on edge but he had no idea why. The camera clicked and butterflies erupted inside him, each time more ferocious than the first. He should have known it couldn’t last long. ‘Relax.’ Rae breathed, reaching out for his arm and gripping his bicep loosely. Harry looked up to catch her eyes and she had that gentle, somewhat homely smile on her face. Rae tilted her head at Harry and everything inside him calmed back down. Rae let go of Harry’s arm and he looked back down at the water. The camera clicked again, but this time no butterflies.

‘I want one of just his eye, but I don’t want that water to get in his eye, can you do something?’ Rae asked turning to Lou, and it made Harry wonder, yet again, how the water was pink.

‘Sure.’ Harry could hear Lou busying herself from behind him, but he didn’t look to her instead looked Rae up and down as she sunk down onto her bum and crossed her legs. Rae, as always, was already looking at him and smiling sweetly up to him. ‘Ok?’ She asked silently and Harry just gave her a reassuring nod and smile, because he was now.

‘Close your eyes for me hun.’ Lou asked kneeling in front of Harry. He did as he was told and felt single droplets fall onto the skin under his eye. ‘Open.’ Harry did so. ‘Ok just relax.’ Harry tried, but winced quickly at the sight of a mascara stick coming towards his eye. Harry heard Rae chuckle and threw her an offended look.

‘Hey, don’t laugh.’ Harry pouted.

‘Just relax Harry, it’s not going in your eye.’ Rae laughed moving closer to him and Lou. It didn’t matter how many times it happened, Harry could never get his head around how she made him feel so on edge with something but simultaneously so easy.

‘I’d hope not.’ Harry exclaimed causing both Lou and Rae to laugh as Lou reached out to hold Harry’s head still so she could brush the clear mascara onto his lashes without him jolting back again.

‘Good?’ Lou asks reclining back a little.

‘Perfect, thanks.’ Lou smiled happily and grabbed her things wandering away as Rae turned her attention back to Harry. ‘Just look right at the lens,’ Harry swallowed and looked straight down the barrel of Rae’s lens. Despite the huge piece of technology between them, Harry was sure he could see her dark brown, hot chocolate on a winter's night, eyes. They made him feel warm even when he couldn’t see them in front of his own eyes, they were fairly well etched into his mind. ‘Blink.’ Rae instructed and as Harry opened his eyes the camera clicked again. ‘One more time, blink again.’ Harry did the same again and so did Rae. She smiled down at her camera and stood up. ‘Ok, just a couple more, put this on.’ Rae chucked Harry a patterned piece of fabric that Harry quickly unfolded.  

‘Where’d you get this?’ Harry asked looking at the black, but red and green floral patterned shirt that fell out of itself as he lifted it up.

‘Charity shop.’ Rae told him waiting patiently for him to put the shirt on.

‘What? I love it.’ Harry’s voice was mumbled as he pulled the top over his head pushing it down into the water around his stomach. Even so Rae laughed, rather than sighed as he covered up the artwork on his body that she could have stared at all day long.

���You can have it if you want.’ Rae told him, tilting her head and chewing at her bottom lip as she contemplated what was before her. ‘Ok, hm.’ Rae sighed, tilting her head to the other side. ‘What do you think?’

‘About what?’ Harry queried, creasing his forehead at her.

‘What do you think would look cool?’ Rae explained motioning to him sat in the bath clad in a lairy shirt, his hair letting go of water droplets that fell down his face and tickled the back of his neck. Rae hadn’t expected to feel so flustered by him, half naked and soaking wet in front of her camera. It had definitely done the job of taking her mind of what else that day might mean to her.

‘I dunno it’s your shoot.’ Harry pointed out matter of factly, Rae smirking at him and taking steps closer.  

‘You’re meant to be an artist are you not?’ Harry chuckled and shook his head. Looking down at the water, he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and thought what he might do if it was his project. He let his mind wander the way he let it wander when he was thinking of a concept for a new project. Harry didn’t know why, but Millais’ Ophelia came to mind. Slowly he lowered himself into the water, until the back of his head was under it, his ears brushing the surface but slowly submerging.

‘Careful of your eyes.’ Rae warned as Harry twisted his head, but then she saw it and her eyes went wide. ‘Ah ok, this is great stay there.’ Rae all but ran towards the bath and Harry could just about hear her fidgeting around through the water. Next thing he knew Rae was standing in the bath over him, her culottes rolled up nearly to her knees. Rae smiled down at him, a halo of flowers around his head. She lifted the camera to her eye and began taking photos, moving herself around him to get the shot she could see in her mind. ‘That looks awesome, nice.’ Rae beamed as she looked at the screen on the camera and stepped out off the tub. ‘You can sit up now,’ She laughed as she walked away from him, looking back to see Harry still laying in the water. ‘Just stay there a sec.’

Rae did the same as she had done earlier, scrolling on her laptop as the photos uploaded from her camera. The same pleased smile drew onto her face and Harry couldn’t have been happier to see it. He twisted further watching as Rae continued to look over the photos, waiting patiently for her to say something.

‘These look so good Harry.’ Rae glowed, finally looking to him again and putting her camera down. ‘Do you wanna take those wet clothes off?’ Rae suggested, pacing back to him with a towel and empty plastic bag. Harry pushed himself up in the bath, Rae noticing his triceps twitch and wishing she’d never suggested him putting a shirt on as she imagined the rippling muscles in his back. She half got her wish though as he pulled the shirt over his head. Her eyes wandered, without her really even meaning to let them, down his body, his broad chest and shoulders stretching even wider and his tight abdomen making her own flutter.

Rae took the shirt off him and put in the bag, trying with all her might not to blush as he unbuttoned his jeans and stepped out of the bath before pushing them down his legs. They swapped jeans for towel and Harry wrapped the towel around waist as Rae stuffed his jeans into the bag and he wandered to the bathroom, grabbing his dry clothes as he went, missing the wink Lou gave Rae as Rae turned back to her, cheeks scarlet and a little lost for words.

Harry couldn’t wipe the smile of his face as he towelled himself dry and got into his dry clothes. All along he knew it couldn’t really go as bad as his brain was telling him it could, but even so he felt relieved that Rae had been so happy with the photos. For once he didn’t doubt himself either. Rae had told him they looked good, so he was happy and content that they looked good.

Harry didn’t hang around getting himself dressed again. He roughly tousled his hair with the towel to get the majority of the water out, but just left it in a wet, half curly mess as he left the bathroom. When he got out, Rae was packing her things away, no sign of Lou anywhere. Rae turned to the sound of his feet, spinning on her heels and rising to her feet as she did so.

‘I coulda helped you tidy.’ Harry pointed out, tossing the towel over his forearm as he walked towards his bag to sling it on his shoulder.

‘Models don’t help tidy darling.’ Rae mocked, sounding more like Patsy from Ab Fab than Charlene from Neighbours for, what Harry hoped would be, the first and only time.

‘What are you doing this evening?’ Harry asked stopping just short of her, Rae pushing her hands into the pockets of her jeans comfortably.

‘Nothing.’ Rae shrugged, her mouth moving to one side as she looked up at Harry, almost through her thick dark lashes.

‘Home then?’ Harry suggested, and Rae nodded, smiling happily up at Harry.

++

Over the years, Rae had managed to figure out the best way to carry all of her equipment un aided. Even so, it was nice to have Harry’s help getting her things from his car to the house and up the stairs to her room. Harry left her to sort everything out though, putting all her things back in the place she kept them. It didn’t take her long, it was a well perfected dance by that point.

With everything back in its home Rae trotted down the stairs, phone in hand, to find Harry. The house was quiet when they got in. There were no lights on, no sounds, and a lack of shoes to block passing traffic in the hallway. There was rarely a time when no one was in, but Rae found that evening, she quite liked the stillness of the house. It rested easily on her and the invitation to join her other three housemates down the pub was one she could have easily ignored had she not had Harry to mention it to also.

‘Everyone’s down at The Ship, if you fancy it?’ Rae didn’t mean to make it clear that she didn’t fancy it, but Harry could see it written all over her, traipsing down to the pub on the corner of the high street, ten minute walk away, was the last thing she fancied doing. If he was honest, he wasn’t really up for it either. Especially when the other option was some time alone with Rae, something he’d been missing since their change in schedules meant they no longer got Wednesday afternoons alone together.

‘Or we could just have dinner and watch a movie?’ Harry suggested, half tentatively. The part of his brain that made him think the worst, twinged like a twisted muscle with too much pressure on it, making him think how she would laugh in his face at the idea. Not for the first time though, the other part of his brain that was normally just a twinge, but seemed to be becoming stronger now, laughed that pessimism away and reminded Harry that Rae wasn’t like that.

‘That sounds better,’ Rae smiled gratefully. ‘What do you fancy?’ She asked turning to the cupboards and pulling them open to look at what was inside. There wasn’t a lot, the last time they’d done a big shop of sorts was nearly a month ago and supplies were running thin.

‘Why don’t you let me cook for a change?’ Harry countered, pushing the cupboard closed from out of her hands. Rae looked up to him a little hurt, but also a little surprised.

‘No don’t be silly, let me, as a thank you for today considering you won’t take anything else off me.’ Rae pushed rolling her eyes as she remembered how he’d refused money, and a coffee, and food or a drink on the way home.

‘No, I wanted to do today and I want to cook for you, so you put the kettle on, make us a cuppa and sit down, for five minutes, please.’ Harry all but begged, holding the cupboard shut so Rae couldn’t pull it open again no matter how much she tried. She eventually realised Harry was adamant on cooking, so gave an exaggerated sigh, making sure Harry could hear it, before turning to fill the kettle up not giving him another word or another glance and therefore, missing the humoured grin Harry was wearing as he watched her begin to fill the kettle.

As Rae set about making two mugs of tea, Harry began gathering ingredients for one of the only dishes he was confident he could remember exactly. Marmite chicken. Harry’s sister had made it for him one night when his mum was out, on a date, and Harry had thought it had sounded gross, but he was wrong. It was delicious and he knew he had to have the recipe. He’d been cooking it ever since, but hadn’t done in a while after Rae’s arrival and her domination of the kitchen. Not that him or any of the other boys were complaining. There was no denying she could cook and none of them had resorted to pot noodles or buttered toast for all three meals of the day since she’d been living with them.

‘Oh shit, please don’t tell me someone's finished my marmite.’ Harry groaned as he searched the fridge in case some fool had decided that marmite needed refrigerating.

‘Well it wasn’t me, vegemite for life.’ Rae quipped taking a sip of her tea and widening her eyes as she did so. Harry had to suppress a chuckle as he glared at her, one hand on his hip. ‘You can use it instead if you want?’

‘Is it the same?’ Harry queried, clearly not convinced by the alternative option.

‘No it’s vastly superior but it can only make the meal better right?’ Rae jested, tilting her head as she did so. Harry smirked. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it endearing how she dipped her neck to one side when she was joking with people, sarcasm dripping from her voice like honey.

‘I dunno about that.’ Harry doubted with one cocked eyebrow.  ‘One way to find out.’ He shrugged in defeat, reaching up for Rae’s cupboard and pulling down the jar of vegemite. It wasn’t the one with her name on it that he’d bought her for Christmas, that was long gone, she was at least three jars down since then. Even so the memory of how ecstatic she’d been with the gift bought a smile to his face.

The room fell silent of their voices as Harry cooked, the only sound the hissing and spitting of the wok as Harry added an array of ingredients. It wasn’t normal for Rae to sit in silence, she always found something to talk about. Harry was aware the quiet was full of all the thoughts in her head that were surely making her mind noisy. As he looked over his shoulder his suspicions were confirmed. Rae was staring down into her mug that was still mostly full, the liquid inside almost definitely stone cold by now. Harry could tell she was chewing on the inside of her cheek, the way she did when she was lost in thought or concentrating on something.

There had always been a part of Harry that wanted those in his life to feel loved and accepted and comfortable. It made him feel better in the same way seeing people uncomfortable at the thought he might be feeling anxious made him feel worse. With Rae the urge was stronger, it always had been. It was what made him arrive far too early at the airport at Christmas, what had made him share his journal with her, what had made him suggest getting her guitar sent over. There was a stirring in the bottom of his stomach, aware by trying to make her comfortable now, he could make her uncomfortable, but he couldn’t say nothing.

‘Ok love?’ Rae looked up quickly to Harry’s question and flashed a fake smile at Harry, nodding just as unconvincingly. Harry shook his head, skirting the table to pull the chair out next to her and sit down. ‘You’re a rubbish liar.’

‘I’m not lying.’ Rae exaggerated with a false chuckle.

‘You are, you’re clearly not ok.’ Harry pointed out. Rae just looked down at the tea she’d taken two sips of, not really sure what to say to Harry.  ‘It is ok to not be a ball of sunshine all the time y’know?’ Harry implored, silently begging her to open up to him, but also knowing better than most not to push too hard.

‘Just hate being negative.’ Rae murmured reaching for the mug, wishing it was still warm when her icy fingers clasped it.

‘You’re not being negative Rae.’ Harry sighed, Rae shrugging, her bottom lip pouting a little. ‘Stop it, you’re fine, you feel sad, you’re a human, you’re allowed.’ Harry stressed finally reaching for her hand, taking it off the mug and holding it tight, frozen cold as always.

‘It’s Jonah’s anniversary.’ Rae admitted quietly. Out of the corner of her eye she looked up to Harry, trying to gauge his reaction. She hated how out of sorts it could make people feel saying something like that, and he hated having no choice but to say it. There was no way she could sit and lie to Harry, not when he could see straight through her. He didn’t recoil though, and his eyes didn’t flicker as his mind raced to find the right words. He just started back at her, the only change his nostrils flaring so slightly if she’d have been any further away she might not have seen. ‘Essie already told you didn’t she?’ Harry just nodded slowly, feeling guilty, like he shouldn’t know.

‘Do you mind?’ Harry questioned, quietly, nervous that she would mind and she’d get mad at him.

‘Not particularly.’ Rae mumbled. She didn’t, not really, although she did a bit. Of course she understood why Essie had done it, but she would have preferred to be the one to tell Harry. Entering her mind then, was the knowledge he’d known all day, but she couldn’t see how he’d treated her any differently, walked on eggshells around her because of it, the way she knew he should have done according to past experiences. And then she didn’t mind at all. Harry never handled her like she was a china doll in spite of anything she ever told him, he couldn’t possibly understand how grateful Rae was for that.

‘Sorry I should have told you I knew.’ Harry fretted as moments of silence passed that felt too long for him.

‘It’s ok, it’s fine.’ Rae reassured with a smile that Harry knew meant she was being genuine.  

‘Will you tell me about him?’ Harry asked before he could stop himself. He didn’t know where it came from or why he said it, but now it was out there he supposed he should continue.  ‘About Jonah, I want to know about him.’ Harry informed her and it wasn’t a lie. Ever since the first time Rae had told Harry about Jonah, all he’d wanted was to hear all about her big brother. It was clear from the way she spoke about him, even if it was minimal, that he was instrumental to the person she’d become and was still turning into, and not just because of what happened to him.

Rae took a deep breath and thought about it for a second. Where to start mainly. She hadn’t spoken about Jonah properly in so long that it almost felt foreign to be doing so again. She hadn’t forgotten about any part of him, but it took a second to find it and bring it through the brambles of her mind that kept the part reserved for him slightly shadowed. When she started though, she found she couldn’t stop. So much of her formative years involved Jonah. He was always there, when she looked back, at every checkpoint and although it made her sad that he wouldn’t be there with his goofy grin and soft amber, brown eyes for the upcoming checkpoints it filled her with a warmth reminiscent of the first summer day to be talking about him again.

‘He had these golden bits in his eyes, me and Essie didn’t get them,’ Rae rolled her eyes as Harry thought how much he loved her pure, espresso coloured eyes, ‘He used to bag on us all the time, saying he was the golden child because of it.’ Rae chuckled and Harry smiled as she clearly filled with joy as more memories came to her mind. ‘Sorry I’m talking too much.’ Rae blushed looking down at her lap.

‘No I like it.’ Harry grinned squeezing the hand he was still holding onto. ‘It’s nice to hear.’

‘You should probably finish dinner though.’ Rae reminded Harry nodding towards the pan that Harry had turned down to a low simmer before he’d begun their conversation.

‘It’s ok, I don’t mind if you want to carry on talking.’ Harry offered, but Rae shook her head.

‘My tummy’s starting to growl at me, so maybe we should eat.’ She jested. Harry chuckled, standing and wandering over to the food.

Harry dished up the food into two bowls, handing one to Rae. They agreed they’d eat on the sofa in front of a movie, Rae’s choice as long as it wasn’t Cars again, Harry bargained because he really couldn’t watch it for a tenth time in two weeks. Rae opted for Ghost, one of her favourites and potentially the only movie of that genre Harry hadn’t seen.

They sat on the sofa, closer than they normally would and finished their dinner to the soundtrack of Unchained Melody, Rae quite happy she could use the excuse of scraping up the last few noodles to be looking away. She didn’t know why she felt hot under the collar as the movie got a little steamy, she was definitely not a prude, but with Harry sat next to her she felt like a teenage girl sitting on the couch with her high school crush after being invited round for tea for the first time. It gave her the same excited butterflies, and made her feel just as light and fuzzy.

Harry took her empty plate from her, placing them on the floor beside the sofa before relaxing back and unashamedly sliding his hips a little closer to Rae. Fuck it Rae thought to herself doing the same and letting her upper body lean into Harry’s. She didn’t feel him freeze or recoil from her, so she leant in further, until her head found a place on his chest, the broad muscles solid underneath her.

It didn’t take long for Harry to give in to his urges too and wrap his arm around her pulling her as close as she could. It didn’t take much longer for him to shift Rae so he could put his legs up and they could lay on the couch together. Rae tucked into him, pushing her back into his front as his arm gripped her securely to prevent her from falling of the sloppy sofa cushions.

The film hadn’t even really started when Rae’s body got slowly more limp by Harry’s. She squirmed in front of him, wiggling against him and groaning sleepily before turning herself over to face Harry. Her eyes were closed as Harry looked down at her, her face completely relaxed as she made her head comfortable on his arm. Harry couldn’t help but sigh contentment and give in to pressing a soft, but long kiss against her forehead. Rae didn’t seem to feel it, she didn’t make a sound or a movement, but with her asleep in his arms, Harry found himself sleeping into an equally blissful state.

++

Harry stirred, slowly. He groaned quietly as consciousness came back to him. Light was pouring into the room and it took him a few seconds, and lots of blinking his vision back, for him to realise he was still on the sofa, Rae still pushed into his body but facing the room rather than him. He could feel it. He could feel her against it, and really he should have known it would happen. Too many mornings he’d woken with the image of her soaking standing on her bed, or with a towel around her in the kitchen doorway, that he should have foreseen it being too much for his body to have her that close and not react.

Rae squirmed against him, her backside rubbing him enough that he had to bite his lips together to keep from groaning as the sensations roared through him. This can’t be happening. He cursed himself and his male urges as he peeled away from Rae. There was no way she could wake to him in this state, that’s if she wasn’t already awake and knew what was happening. Of course she knows. Harry convinced himself before he hopped from the sofa as carefully as he could not wanting to wake Rae.

His bag was by the door, he didn’t know what was in it, he didn’t care. Harry grabbed the bag, pushed his feet into his boots and rushed out of the door. He’d be spending the day at the library whether there was work he could do in his bag or not, he’d find something, let Rae get her laughter at his expense out of his system. She’s not like that Harry. It didn’t matter how much he knew it to be true, he couldn’t face her now.

A/N Thank you to @huninthesun for letting me know this was missing. Apparently it had been taken down, anybodys guess as to why, but here it is for those who were tryna find it. Hope you like it!

[albionscastle]

First Impressions Part 9

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been in a dreadful funk since getting back from Scotland and I haven’t written hardly at all. But I was putting up the tree and thought of a scene which turned into this.

This chapter doesn’t really further the story much but gives an insight into what Lizzie and Jack are thinking. 

MASTERLIST AND PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

FIRST IMPRESSIONS PART 9 - SNOW DAY

LIZZIE

Winter had officially arrived, several weeks early in fact. Lizzie sat in her window watching the children walking to school, bundled in their coats and scarves, happily throwing snowballs at one another. Shop owners were salting and shovelling the sidewalks while the trucks came along to give the same treatment to the roads. The first decent snow of the season the week before Thanksgiving was almost unheard of. Since Lizzie had been in high school it had only snowed before Christmas maybe three times. Up at 6am she’d already shovelled the sidewalk outside the theatre, the landlord was far too old to be having to worry about it and if she was honest she enjoyed the simple labor of it.

What she didn’t like, however, was driving in the snow, especially in or around Chicago. She’d admittedly been called a crazy driver more than once but she had nothing on the idiots who came out in the bad weather. It was far safer for her and everyone else for her to just, not. The museum had already been informed that she wouldn’t be back until March, and honestly Lizzie was looking forward to taking the time off to explore some online classes, anything to pad her resume. Today, though, she was free just to relax and watch the flakes fall while she nursed her tea.

A ping from her phone distracted her, no-one usually texted her at 7am unless it was an emergency, or they wanted her to work.

Brad: Hey Red! It’s snowing!

Lizzie rolled her eyes. In the weeks since Charlie’s birthday, the weird feeling she’d had about Brad had almost vanished and she’d engaged with him a lot more. Though she had yet to take him up on his offers of dinner, she had allowed him to sit beside her at the movies once or twice. For his part, Brad had eased off while still making his attraction clear. Lizzie couldn’t understand why she was so reticent about getting involved with him. On paper he was a hell of a catch - gorgeous, charming, successful, friendly and fun. Brad Wickham ticked a lot of boxes, except two. Attraction and trust.

The truth was - she just didn’t think of him in that way. If he brushed her hand or touched her she felt nothing. Literally nothing, it just wasn’t there for her and no amount of trying had changed that. There was also the niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she just couldn’t trust him. Whether it was because he was just too perfect, or her own personal fears, she just couldn’t tell, but it was there.

It didn’t stop her from enjoying his friendship though.

Lizzie: Your powers of perception are second to none. I never would have guessed.

Brad: Ha ha, there’s talk they may cancel filming today.

Lizzie: It’s barely a dusting! And wouldn’t that just put production behind? Brad: Nah, we only have a few days of filming left and today is just us lowly bit part actors lol

He was right, Lizzie realised suddenly. Even Tom had mentioned more than once that the whole thing would be done by Thanksgiving, which was only seven days away. She made a mental note to ask Maya what plans her and Tom had made.

Lizzie: I forgot you will all be out of our hair this week.

Brad: Well our mutual ‘friend’ will be, me, I might stick around for a while.

Don’t.

She didn't’;t even realise that she’d said the word out loud the thought was so sudden. But Lizzie knew without a doubt that deep down she didn’t want Brad to stay in town once production finished.

Lizzie: trust me, there’s NOTHING here in the winter. Just ice and assholes, other than that, nothing happens.

There was no text for a while and Lizzie hoped that she’d gotten the message across diplomatically enough. She knew damn well what he meant when he talked about staying and she didn’t want to give him false hope.

Brad: Subject change, are you going to the wrap party?

Lizzie: Half the city was invited so yes. What about you?

Brad: Well it's sure to be awkward but I’m determined to. After all, Jack’s the one who should be ashamed, not me. If he doesn’t want to see me there he can leave and hide in his hotel room.

Lizzie: Now that would make the night perfect lol

Brad: Gotta go, we just got called. TTYL

The wrap party had been a bone of contention for Lizzie since the invitations arrived. Her mother and Lydia were over the moon, naturally, but when Lizzie had suggested she stay home with Ben she had been vetoed across the board. Reluctantly she’d had to agree to go, even though she wanted to avoid a great many of the people who would be there.

Still, maybe the night would be bearable with Brad and Charlie there. Maybe.

As expected, the snow had eased off by mid-morning and would be melted away by late afternoon. Maya had arrived at lunch, arms stacked with books and looking all flustered.

“Can I study here? If I go home Mom is just going to distract me and I’ll get nothing done, I’m behind already.”

Lizzie couldn’t say no to Maya, even if her presence meant that her planned day of solitude had gone out the window. Leaving her sister with her law books spread out all over the dining table, Lizzie had pottered around cleaning the apartment and hauling the Christmas boxes down from the storage room. Chloe was strict about the tree not going up until December and Colin had never allowed one. This year she was going to have it her way, Christmas was her favorite time of year.

It was dark by five and finally Maya shut her books.

“I’m done. All caught up, thanks Lizzie.”

“No probs, are you hungry?”

“Famished, I should get home for dinner.”

“I’ll rustle something up, stay and relax for a while.”

Lizzie could see Maya’s forehead wrinkle nd she knew what was bothering her.

“You have plans with Tom?”

“Just dinner with him and Jack.” Maya looked guilty.

Taking a deep breath, Lizzie made the decision.

“Invite them here.”

The thankful look on Maya’s face was worth any irritation that Lizzie felt at the prospect of Jack being in her apartment. Besides there were just a days left and she was, as always, willing to put up with anything if it meant Maya’s happiness.

Lizzie busied herself in the kitchen, making sure she was busy when the men in question arrived. She could hear their voices, the difference between their accents always so clear. Despite herself, she enjoyed the burrs and lilts when Jack spoke and loathed that she actually found his voice quite comforting.

“Could ye use a hand?”

Speak of the devil and he’ll pop his head into your kitchen.

“I’m actually good.” Lizzie didn’t even look up  from chopping the carrots.

“Are ye sure? I think those two want some time alone, if ye ken?”

You could have stayed home, she thought bitterly.

“Fine, can you chop these for me?” she sighed.

“What are makin?” he took the knife from her hand and got to work.

“A coconut curry, nothing special.”

“Sounds better than McDonalds again.”

Lizzie couldn’t help but snicker. Whiting wasn’t known as a hub for the discerning diner, and their McDonald's even had a Facebook page declaring it the worst in existence. For good reason.

“You’re gambling with your life eating at that shithole.”

“Take it up wi’ the young’un, he’s go a stomach made o cast iron.”

“And apparently the taste to go with it if he willingly eats that crap to begin with.”

“Well, to be fair, the lad’s no had a lot of experience past uni, and ye know how tha goes.”

“I remember. I existed on a diet of ramen, takeout and toast. Oh and chocolate, naturally.”

“Naturally.” he chuckled, sliding the veggies into the skillet at Lizzie’s beckoning.

The conversation lapsed into a comfortable silence as the meal came together. Jack seemed able to anticipate her needs and they worked together like a well-oiled machine.

“It’s almost ready, let me check the rice.”

Lizzie lifted the lid on the pot and held her hand out for a fork. Jack handed one to her, fingers sliding over hers as he placed it in her palm. The jolt that hit her made her catch her breath, hand shaking as she gripped the utensil. The last time he’d touched her this hadn’t happened, but she’d been upset and his touch had been comforting in the face of Colin.

This. This was trouble.

Lizzie waited until Jack went to set the table before she let out her breath, her hand still tingling and her body far too warm for comfort.

What the fuck had just happened? JACK

His hand was twitching, literally twitching as he flexed his fingers. He’d seen Elizabeth take a deep breath and he knew that she felt it too. The attraction that simmered was white hot and coursing through his veins and it was all he could do to slow his breathing. Jack barely even paid attention to what he was doing, his mind wandering to far more interesting thoughts.

Stop it! He muttered to himself before his body betrayed his thoughts.

Jack forced himself to calm down before going back into the kitchen. Elizabeth had her back to him as she transferred food to serving dishes. He took a moment to appreciate her, even all covered up she was a treat. For a brief moment he allowed himself to imagine walking up behind her, lifting her braid so he could press his lips to her neck. In his mind she leaned back into him with a smile as his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her as he whispered in her ear.

“Can you get the others?”

His bubble burst and reality came into sharp focus as he called out to Tom and Maya, taking a serving dish from the counter. He gave himself credit for rallying well during dinner, telling stories from different sets that had the women howling with laughter. There were moments he noticed that Elizabeth would have her brows furrowed in confusion, and he definitely noticed her watching him when she thought he wasn’t looking.

Bolstered, he not only dragged Tom to make sure they did the cleaning up, but he also broached the subject of the Christmas boxes in the corner.

“Lizzie always was gung ho about getting Christmas up and moving.” Maya laughed. “Mom would never even let her look at tinsel until December.”

“I’m all fer decorating early ma’self.” Jack shrugged, noting Elizabeth’s surprise. “There’s summan magical about Christmas an I think the longer ye can experience it each year the better.”

He didn’t add that he hadn’t decorated his flat since Lisa buggered off and even then it had been all her, designed purely to be shown off and with no warmth or charm. There had been no magic to it.

“Lizzie! Why don’t we do it now?” Tom suddenly piped up with excitement.

Good boy, Jack thought as he murmured his agreement to the idea.

“Well I guess we could.” she seemed uncertain at first but he could see the excitement brimming in her eyes.

That was all it took. Within minutes the boxes had been dragged into the center of the room and the corner emptied.

“I prefer real trees,” Elizabeth sighed she cut open the huge box containing the tree. “But I couldn’t justify the expense when I already had this.”

As it was, her fake tree was impressively real-looking, and large. Jack could see that it had been packed away for quite some time as even the scent packets in with it had lost their smell. It was a lovely tree but in the back of his mind all he could think was that he deserved the real thing.

Maya lit pine-scented candles, while Tom turned on a Christmas playlist. Jack helped Elizabeth piece the tree together, pulling and fluffing the branches until it looked perfect. For the next hour or so, lights and tinsel were hung, and box after box of baubles opened. Many were the typical colorful glass balls, glittering stars, pretty but impersonal. The last couple of boxes were different. He watched the sisters as they lifted each one out, some hand made and some old and well loved. There was even a box of ornaments that were nothing but Star Wars, Marvel, Disney, a wonderland of pop culture. Jack’s personal favorite was a Darth Vader in an ugly sweater who spoke about presents and Sithmas every time someone moved past him.

“When did you get all these, Lizzie?” Maya was hanging a golden Snitch beside a sparkly Merida.

Tom was unboxing a Captain America and jack was playing with a shark that played the Jaws theme.

“I’ve just bought them at sale over the years, Mom never wanted them on the tree and Colin…” Jack watched her visibly gather herself. “He wasn’t big on Christmas.”

It occured to Jack that this might well be the first time Elizabeth had her own tree, in her own home, and he wasn’t sure how it was making him feel. Shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts he handed her the shark, watching her while she hung it. After it all was done and the boxes carted back to storage, Jack stood back looking at what they’d done.. The tree was a hodge podge, with no apparent style or theme and he had to admit he thought it was perfect. The result was warm, inviting and somehow uniquely Elizabeth. This apartment wasn’t designed to please anyone but her and it worked, in the fact that one felt so much at home here.

His flat in London was pathetically sterile, had been even during the time he shared it with Lisa. She’d been all for the ultra modern, with white everything and the place had looked like a damn photoshoot. He’d been afraid to even sit on the fucking couch. In the year that she’d been gone the only thing he’d done with the place was buy a couch and a tv, most of the time that was where he slept too. If he was with a woman it had always been at her place or a hotel, somewhere that he could make a quick, discrete exit. There had been no morning afters, no desire to have a woman in his space.

Until now.

Elizabeth would hate his place, he knew by looking at her jewelled throws and little knick knacks, and he’d be embarrassed to take her there. But here, he could see something more than taking her to bed and sneaking out while she was asleep. He could see snuggling on the couch as a movie played, he could see cooking together again.

He could see a future and it scared him to death.

It wasn’t possible, least of all with her and all of this had to be some weird side-effect of being in close quarters to the woman he wanted to shag and couldn’t. There was no future with a woman who lived in a different country and whose whole family belonged on some trashy American talk show. Not to mention that he was never ever going to put himself in that position again. He could never allow himself to be blindsided and betrayed again - especially when the woman in question was already friendly with Wick.

While the others dug into dessert, Jack excused himself to the bathroom, finding that he needed a few moments to be alone with his thoughts. Strolling down the hallway he ran his fingers along the wall, taking in the gallery of photos. Most were of Elizabeth and her family or friends. He chuckled to himself at one of her and Charlie as young teens, skinny and awkward looking, their teeth in braces. Further along, closer to her bedroom door were two framed documents. With some surprise he realised they were diplomas, from Northwestern University. Somehow he’d known in the back of his mind that she’d been to school, something he’d overheard maybe. He hadn’t considered a place like Northwestern, or that ‘gone to school’ meant a Masters degree in History.

He was honestly taken aback. What on earth was she doing working in a bakery with a masters degree? Jack couldn’t wrap his head around it, or around why the hell he cared so much what she did or didn’t do with her life. Splashing his face with water in the bathroom, Jack tried to shake some sense into himself. With a resigned sigh he instead gave into curiosity and opened the bathroom cabinet, all the while telling himself that he was a despicable human being.

“What on earth?” he murmured aloud as he took in the row of prescription bottles on the shelf.

His brow furrowed as he read the labels; Hydroxyzine, Lexapro, Amitriptyline, Naproxen - that one, he knew was for pain. The others though, he had no idea what they were but it didn’t bode well. Whatever was wrong with Elizabeth, she did a good job of hiding it, he’d certainly seen no signs of illness or weakness.

“That was a nice night, even you have to admit Jack.” Tom remarked later as they walked back to the hotel.

“Aye it was. Say, do ye know if Elizabeth is sick or summan?”

“She looked fine to me, a bit tired maybe.”

Jack just shrugged, surely if it were something  like say, cancer, Maya would have mentioned something to Tom. Whatever it was it apparently wasn’t bad enough to cause anyone any real concern.

Again, why did he even fucking care?

Short answer, he didn’t. The woman had gotten under his skin, yes but for no reason other than him being horny, wanting to scratch the itch. Anything else was simply sentimentality, maybe a touch of loneliness.

“Nuthun, jus thought she seemed a bit, off, probably jus tried like ye said.”

“Awe how sweet of you to care you big softie.” Tom laughed, despite the dark look that Jack shot him.

“Shut the fuck up, asshole.” Jack muttered, shoving Tom good-naturedly.

As much as Jack hated to admit it, Tom had a point. He did care, despite his better judgement and every argument against it. He cared. Very much.

And he was miserable.

[historyrepeatsitself-phff]

Chapter Seventy-Four Part Two

A/N: You can read Part One here if you missed it. I hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!! 💖

“And now we have some breaking news,” the newsreader said on the TV – yes, the Lindo Wing was so fancy it even came with its own TV set. “It has just been announced that The Duchess of Clarence has gone into labour. The announcement, tweeted by the official twitter account for Kensington Palace, says that she was admitted to St Mary’s Hospital, a private hospital in Paddington, at six o’clock this evening in the early stages of labour. Prince Harry is with her at the hospital, and we can go live to our junior royal correspondent, Hannah Jones. Hannah.”

The screen shifted to the view outside their window, where dozens, perhaps hundreds, of press from around the world had been camped out for weeks. A young journalist whom Emmy had never seen before – and she guessed had just been stationed outside the hospital because no one else wanted to do it – was centre of the shot.

“Yes, Sophie, I’m here outside the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital and the atmosphere has changed within the last few minutes. For the last few weeks we’ve had cameras and equipment set up here waiting for this moment, and then finally the tweet came through – the Duchess of Clarence is in labour. The feeling has changed, suddenly everyone is very serious, very excited. There’s some crowds gathering down the street, down there. The news of the tweet spread rapidly throughout our group of journalists and now we’re all fighting again for the best spot, discussing when we think they’ll be leaving the hospital, whether it’ll be tomorrow or the day after.”

“And what do we know about this birth? The Duchess is apparently overdue, if I’m not mistaken?” Sophie said.

“Yes, Prince Harry earlier on this week let slip that it was the Duchess’ due date on Tuesday, so she was four days overdue, and that tardiness has only made the whole affair that much more exciting. We know that The Duke and Duchess arrived at the Lindo Wing around six o’clock, that was tweeted by Kensington Palace. And the fact that they told us that, that they almost wanted us to know roughly when she went in to labour suggests that they will be keeping us updated concerning when the baby is born, when they think Emmy will be leaving the hospital. When it was the Duchess of Cambridge in this hospital giving birth, the palace were incredibly cooperative with us, with the press. They even e-mailed members of the press, telling them that Princess Charlotte had been born, before they’d even announced it on Twitter, so we are waiting and hoping for the same sort of approach with this royal birth as well. Of course, any updates that we are given by the palace we will let the viewers know as soon as we do.”

“Hannah, how different will this birth be compared to the births of George and Charlotte, not only in terms of tradition – because, of course, this baby will only be sixth in line to the throne – but also in terms of time, both George and Charlotte were born in the day but Baby Clarence could very well be born in the middle of the night looking at the time Emmy was admitted, will that change any of the announcement procedure?”

“Although Baby Clarence is only sixth in line to the throne the announcement will be exactly the same. The easel will be put up outside Buckingham Palace, there will be gun salutes to celebrate also. We also expect there to be a town crier here once the baby is born to “traditionally announce” the royal arrival. If the little baby does arrive in the middle of the night, I should think that will only delay the usual procedures. We would like to think that Kensington Palace would announce the birth of the baby as soon as possible, regardless of whether it is in the middle of the night or not, and we will have a colleague of mine here overnight to report on any updates we receive through the course of the night. Whether they announce it in the night or whether they wait until morning, I think it’s safe to say that the other typical things we see – like the easel, and the town crier, will not happen until later on tomorrow. We also don’t know exactly what is going on, we may see the Duke and Duchess of Clarence tomorrow if the baby is born during the night. Most of this is speculation, Sophie, but we will, of course, let you know of any firm updates that are given to us over the course of the evening and the night.”

“We know that Harry is there with Emmaline, yes?”

“Yes in the tweet from Kensington Palace they confirmed that the Duke of Clarence is with the Duchess in the hospital behind me. It’s not very surprising, especially after Prince William was present for the birth of both of his children, and we all know how excited Prince Harry has been for this baby. Earlier this week, during a visit to an injured athlete’s charity he spoke non-stop of his little baby and how excited his is. And – oh, actually Sophie, it appears we may have an important arrival here at the hospital. The journalists around me are certainly getting very excited over this car, it may potentially be a member of the royal family.”

The camera panned out to show Skippy, Jake and Taylor jumping out of the car, blinded by camera flashes and deafened by the shouts of the paparazzi before them. They spared small smiles for the cameras, Taylor leading the way into the hospital, and then the screen was back on Hannah.

“That was three friends of the Duke and Duchess, of course one of which, Taylor, you may recognize as being one of the bridesmaids at the royal wedding last June. The other two I believe are close friends of Harry’s, one of which was present on his infamous holiday to Vegas five years ago. We don’t know what their arrival signifies -  maybe this means that the little royal baby has arrived, or maybe they are simply turning up to offer their support to the royal couple-”

Harry switched the TV off. “God, it’s all just speculation.”

“I didn’t realise they were coming,” Emmy mused, brushing her hair into place. It had gotten disheveled in the twenty minutes since the announcement, during which she’d had a particularly painful contraction that had made her rub her head into her pillow in agony. Mary had come back and checked, and they were now still only 4 centimeters gone.

“I said it was going slowly,” Harry said. “I guess they wanted to come and say hi.”

“Might as well, we’ve got all the time in the world,” she said bitterly, glaring at her bump. He laughed lightly, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.

As Taylor, Skippy and Jake arrived, Claire and Edward left for the visitor’s room down the hall, worrying about overcrowding Emmy. As soon as she’d entered the room, Taylor squealed in delight.

“Oh my god, Emmy!” she said. “It’s happening! Oh my god! Harry told me! Are you excited?!” She hurried over and sat on the end of Emmy’s bed.

“I just want her out of me,” Emmy complained. “She’s taking so long.”

“She must like being in you,” Taylor said gently, smiling.

“Takes after her dad, then,” Skippy muttered, sniggering.

“I’ve already made that joke,” Harry said.

Jake barked a laugh, then threw Emmy a smile. “How’s it going, Em? You coping?”

“I’m fine,” she said.

Harry scoffed. “That’s what she says, after biting my head off for leaving her to go to the toilet.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Think of the pain Emmy’s going through right now, you could at least try and hold it.”

“I bet we’ve got a few more hours yet,” Harry said. “I wasn’t going to hold it all day.”

Emmy sighed at that. “A few hours,” she quoted miserably.

“Hey, don’t be upset,” Jake said, smiling reassuringly. “This is one of the most exciting things to happen to you, trust me. Don’t wish it away. You’re going to look back at this and wish you’d enjoyed it more.”

“Yeah,” Skippy said, snickering. “Last few hours without a little baby.”

Emmy nibbled her lip anxiously. “Shit, it is,” she murmured.

“Ignore them,” Harry said gently. “Skip’s just trying to scare you.” He threw his best friend a glare, and Skippy chuckled. “Think of how beautiful our little girl’s going to be when she gets here.”

That earned him a breathless smile, and he grinned, stroking his thumb over her knuckles soothingly. “So, what’s everyone been up to today?” Emmy asked, trying to make conversation to take her mind off everything.

“I went and saw my parents,” Taylor said. “They send you their love, you know.”

“Thank them for me,” Emmy said. “How’s Izzy?”

“Izzy’s good, she started uni back in September, so she was telling me about how drunk she’s been lately,” she replied, with a roll of her eyes. Izzy was Taylor’s younger sister.

“And I was out shopping,” Skippy said, grinning. “Looking for new baby presents for a certain someone.”

Emmy giggled lightly in anticipation as Harry rolled his eyes. “Skip, you don’t need to do that,” he said, sheepish.

“But there’s no point in taking any gifts back now,” Emmy said hastily, throwing Harry a scowl.

He chuckled, brushing her hair from her eyes. “You just love getting presents, don’t you?”

Before Emmy could answer, a contraction tore through her womb and drew a cry from her. She scrunched up her face, balling her hands into fists as she tried not to scream out. A minute passed, and then she relaxed, puffing air up onto her face.

“Oh Em,” Taylor said, wide-eyed.

“Maybe we should go,” Jake said gently. “It wasn’t a good idea for us to come and see you guys, you should be resting and getting ready for the birth.”

“You guys don’t need to go,” Emmy said, looking worried.

“We don’t want to intrude,” Jake said. “This is a personal time for you guys, we should go.”

Emmy watched miserably as they bid goodbye, each of them hugging her in good-luck, before they left them to it. She pouted as they went. “Do you think they should’ve stayed longer? They came all this way?”

“They just wanted to pop by and show their support,” Harry replied, settling back into the chair and leaning forward, taking her hand in his. “Besides, we’ve got bigger things to think about.”

“By big things you better not be talking about me,” she said, scowling.

“You won’t be big for much longer,” he answered, unable to refrain from breaking into a grin.

Emmy sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, and then she cried out as another contraction tore through her. “Oh, oh, fuck!”

Harry winced as she clamped down on his hand, feeling as though she was breaking his fingers but not wanting to say anything. It lasted a while now, almost a minute, and then finally Emmy’s grip loosened and she sank back onto the pillows, panting.

“That one hurt,” she complained weakly.

“And the others didn’t?” he said, trying to lighten the mood. His teasing earned him a scowl. “Sorry.”

She ignored him, rubbing along her bump and begging that it would speed up a bit. She wanted her out. She wanted this done. She didn’t want to be in pain and discomfort any longer.

Her contractions continued for the next hour and a half, and she said nothing as Harry put the TV on and found them a crappy movie to watch. He could tell she wasn’t paying attention – neither was he, really. They were both too absorbed in what was happening, both imagining the arrival of their little girl, both half-anticipating, half-dreading the moment when Mary would come and tell them Emmy was 10 centimeters gone.

Another contraction bought tears to Emmy’s eyes, and she gasped for breath, crushing Harry’s hand, before finally collapsing back onto the bed. She rose teary eyes to Harry’s.

“I don’t want her anymore, Harry,” she said to him, on the verge of sobbing. “It hurts too much, she’s taking too long-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he murmured, crouching down beside the bed and holding both her hands in his. “Baby, it’s okay, I know that you’re scared. But we’re nearly there now. We’re nearly there, she’s nearly with us.”

“I just want her out,” Emmy wailed, reaching up to wipe tears messily from her face. “It hurts, it hurts!” She screamed the last word as her uterus contracted violently again.

Harry watched, helpless, as she rode through it, before she rolled onto her side and buried her face in the pillow, biting it as, after a few minutes, a smaller contraction happened too, almost like an aftershock.

“Harry,” she moaned, glaring at the floor from where she laid awkwardly on her arm. “This is all your fault.”

Harry fought a laugh as he got to his feet; Mary had just entered the room, ready to check again.

“How’s it going?” she asked the couple.

“We’re getting bitchy now,” Harry replied cheerfully.

“Hey!” Emmy snapped, scowling at him.

“Emmy, can you just roll  onto your back for me, let’s see how far gone you are,” Mary said.

“The contractions are getting a lot closer together,” Harry told her, moving to Emmy’s head as Emmy moved her legs apart.

“And they hurt more,” Emmy said. Her voice was weaker now, she was exhausted and the worst hadn’t even come.

Mary nodded to them. “Sounds like you’re getting closer then, let me have a look.” And she ducked down, before emerging a few moments later and saying, “Well, she’s definitely sped up a bit, you’re between 7 and 8 now.”

“Ugh!” Emmy groaned. “Still two more to go?!”

“Yes, but think how far you’ve come now,” Mary said. “You’re in the final phase of labour now, the Transition Phase. You’re on the home straight, so to speak. The next stage is the birth.”

Her words sent a terrified shudder through Emmy, but she nodded, glad that things were finally moving along. She looked at Harry, who smiled and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

“I’ll be back in about five or ten minutes,” Mary said. “If your contractions start becoming worse, and even closer together, then do come and get a midwife. If you have any concerns as well, just come and grab one of us. I’ll leave you both to start preparing for the arrival.”

As she left, Edward and Claire returned, looking concerned. Claire looked tired.

“Maybe you guys should go home,” Harry mused. “Claire, you have your own daughter-”

“We’ve both phoned home, told them what’s happening,” Edward answered simply, taking a spare seat and sighing as he sat down. “How is everything going?”

“About 7 centimeters gone,” Harry explained, his thumb stroking circles on Emmy’s palm. “And we’re, er, ready for her to arrive.” Emmy was scowling at her sheets.

Claire yawned then, resting her head on the wall, and Emmy’s angry glare softened. “Go home, Claire.”

“I’m alright.”

“You’re dead on your feet,” Emmy said. “I don’t need you, it’s fine. Just go and get some rest.”

Claire hesitated, then came over and kissed the top of Emmy’s head. “Good luck, okay? You’re going to do great. Just remember to breathe.”

“I was at risk of forgetting to do that,” she replied, somewhat sarcastically. Claire looked over at Harry.

“Good luck to you too,” she said, giving him a knowing look. He grinned.

“I’ll be fine,” he said.

“Damn right he will,” Emmy retorted. “What about me? I’m the one pushing a human out of my vagina!”

Claire laughed. “And I’m sure you’ll do it very well. Ed, let me know if anything happens.”

“Will do,” Edward said, throwing her a tired smile.

“Why don’t you go home too?” Harry said to Ed, as Emmy underwent another painful contraction.

“Someone needs to stay,” Edward replied. “Make sure everything is going smoothly and privately.”

Harry hesitated; he wanted his secretary to get some sleep, but at the same time he wanted everything to go well and for nothing to be leaked.

“I’ll go home once she’s born,” Edward answered, almost as though he read Harry’s mind. “And I’ll leave Zach and Jamie to keep guard for you three.”

“Zach and Jamie?” Emmy asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is it them now?”

“Mm-hmm, they’re going to do the “night shift”,” Edward said. “We don’t know what time you guys will be going to bed.”

“Never, at this rate,” Emmy said, glaring at her bump.

“She’ll be out soon,” Harry said soothingly, squeezing her shoulder.

Emmy huffed, letting her head fall back onto the pillow and puffing air up over her face. Then she turned somewhat sad eyes to Harry. “Harry, I don’t want to go through this anymore. It hurts so bad.”

“I know, baby, but it’s nearly over,” he breathed, kissing her forehead. Then he looked at Edward. “Ed, can you come and sit with Emmy for a sec, just while I go to the loo?”

“Of course,” Edward said, getting to his feet, but he looked wary. He’d seen how hard Emmy was crushing Harry’s hand during those contractions. He fought the hesitation, and moved to replace Harry in the armchair. “How are you feeling, Emmy?”

Emmy raised an eyebrow at him, then said, “I’m nice and comfortable, thanks. Happiest time of my life.” Her voice was dripping in sarcasm. Edward chuckled.

“Stupid question, I know,” he said, and then, to his horror, another contraction engulfed Emmy and she started moaning. Instinctively he reached out to try and help her, and before eh could correct his actions Emmy had grabbed his hand. She squeezed it tightly, a scream leaving her, and Edward hissed too, feeling as though his fingers were breaking. But, finally, after what felt like a very long time, Emmy collapsed back onto the bed, her muscles relaxing, and Edward pulled his injured hand back into his lap, massaging it.

Emmy saw the pain on his face, even though he tried very hard to mask it. “I’m sorry,” she said genuinely.

“You have every reason not to be,” he murmured. “I can’t imagine the pain you’re in.”

“You don’t have kids, do you?” Emmy asked. She knew Edward was married, but she’d never heard talk of any children.

“No, my wife never wanted any,” he said. “And neither did I. My job has always been too important for me. First the army, and now supporting Harry which is like fighting a whole different war.”

She laughed lightly. “You’re very important to Harry, you know.”

“He’s very important to me too,” Edward admitted. “He’s a friend.”

“You’re more fatherly to him than his dad sometimes,” she added. “We’d both be lost without you.”

He reached over and patted her hand – surprising for him, since he was always so reserved and hated physical contact. “I’m just doing my job, Emmy. As are you, and right now your job is to give birth to that perfect little baby.”

She smiled at his smooth way of changing the subject. “Yeah,” she said, not missing the way his eyes had lit up at her words. It was good for Edward to realise how much he was appreciated.

Harry returned then, and he smiled lazily at Emmy as he crossed the room. Her heart sped up slightly at the sight of him, looking shockingly handsome for someone who was so tired and disheveled, and she reached out. He entangled his fingers with hers before swapping seats with Edward, who returned to his chair in the corner. Harry sat forward on his knees, watching as Emmy had another contraction. This one was incredibly long, long to the point that Harry wondered whether this was it, whether this one wouldn’t stop.

But finally Emmy laid back, panting. “Shit,” she said weakly.

“That was bad,” Harry said. “Ed, can you get Mary-”

But Mary entered the room at that moment anyway, and she looked concerned at the pain still written on Emmy’s face.

“Please check,” Emmy gasped. “That one was awful.”

“It lasted ages,” Harry agreed, watching Mary’s expression. “Is this it?”

Mary examined Emmy, then nodded, smiling slightly. “Ten centimetres. You’re ready, she’s ready. You’re about to become parents.”

[justporo]

Full Circle Chapter 2: From the Beginning

I’m terribly sorry for forgetting to post the second chapter here. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

You tapped nervously on your knees. It was a very long flight, but almost over. You leaned your head back until you could see the luggage rack above you. You could see your bag through the bars and above that… You could see the respiratory masks that dangled preventively under the ceiling of this small plane.

You gulped – this had been the first flight in your life and it hadn’t been exactly joyful. For the most time the nice blonde girl beside you had chatted with you – obviously she had been trying to calm you down since you were sweating through all your clothes. She had told you her name was Angela and that she was from Switzerland and that Overwatch had asked her to join since she seemed to be a rising star in medicine even though she had only just turned 19. But it was almost the same with you: You had only been to University for two years studying computer science when you had been asked to join Overwatch. 

You clearly remembered the day: you had been at uni, programming a little something that would allow you to automatically search and sort all the literature you needed for all the damn essays you needed to write, when a man in a black suit and an Overwatch pin on his breast pocket wanted to speak to you. He introduced himself as a government official, coming to you on behalf of the famous Overwatch strike force. “You seem to be very talented in your field. Haven’t you won a price or two already for your works in data analytics and artificial intelligence?”, he had said and had smiled at you. You had smiled and waved it off – you had just fun doing all this stuff. “I spoke to your professors too. They all said you are one of the most talented students they have ever seen and that you could probably be already working on your PhD if you wanted to.” You had laughed a bit at that. True, exams weren’t much trouble to you – you just enjoyed having a bit of free time for friends and gaming too, so you didn’t rush your studies exactly. “Now to what we have to offer you. We offer you to join Overwatch. We will pay for your whole education and living costs. Besides your computer science studies, which you can of course continue while you’re with us, you will be trained in armed and hand to hand combat. And after your training is completed you will be deployed on missions.” Now, that had been a handful. Of course, you had dreamed as a kid to join Overwatch – you even had posters of all the agents hanging in your room at home. They had been the heroes that had saved the world. Who wouldn’t want to be like them. After he’d given you all the details the government official had left, telling you that he’d return in a week to get your final answer. And now, now you were sitting in a plane to Watchpoint Gibraltar – the place where the new recruits were to be trained. “Don’t worry, we are almost there”, Angela said beside you and gently squeezing your sweaty palm and giving you a big smile. You liked her already. She seemed to be a very nice and gentle person – also she had shared some chocolate on the flight with you, who would not like a person like that? And she was right too: Soon the plane set to landing. You fought your hardest not to panic and barely succeeded. When the plane had come to a stop Angela, you and the other handful of new recruits got up, grabbed their luggage and exited the small plane. When you left, you were immediately hit by bright sunlight. You could hear the sound of waves smashing against the cliff. You took a moment to get used to the light after the long flight and took in your surroundings: it was a wonderful day at Gibraltar. The sun was already slowly setting. From where you had left the plane and where the new recruits where now lining up to be welcomed you could see the ocean to your left and on the right and behind you – as you looked curiously around – were the buildings of the watchpoint. You were still turning left and right, trying to see as much as you could while standing next to the other recruits: 6 other young people plus Angela and you. “Recruits”, a harsh voice made you jump and turn to look in front of you again. A few persons had obviously come out of one of the buildings. You didn’t have to guess who they were. You could tell who everyone was by just one glimpse: Ana Amari, Reinhardt Wilhelm, Torbjörn Lindholm, Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes. They were all rather casually dressed: tees and what seemed to be combat pants and boots – everything of course with Overwatch emblem. “Recruits”, the harsh voice said again, this time a little softer. You realized it must be Commander Gabriel Reyes who was speaking “we welcome you all here at the Overwatch Watchpoint: Gibraltar. You were all chosen because you have very special, unique and outstanding talents.” Some of the recruits started cheering while Reyes walked along the line of them. He was just passing you and you could see the smug smile on his face. He turned on his heel. “This does not mean it will be easy”, he continued with a stern look on his face and eyeing you all seriously from under his black beanie. “You don’t pass a test, you’re out. You complain, you’re out. You do something you are not told to, you’re out. You disrespect me or my comrades, you’re out. You are late to an appointment, you’re out. For starters, you can lose the attitude: You might have been superior in what you’re doing where you came from but not here. This is an elite strike force and we will only take the best, most loyal and team-minded. If you can’t be that you can get right back on that plane.” Everyone had turned dead silent. Reyes stood in the middle of you, muscular arms crossed over his chest, his dark eyes showing no emotion but the corner of his mouth slightly curled into a small smile, barely visible. While his eyes wandered from one to another along the line, your eyes locked for a single moment. You couldn’t stop yourself from mimicking his facial expression: one corner of your mouth slightly pulled up into a small, half-sided smile. You could have sworn there was a small glimmer in his eyes before he went to look at the person beside you. He slowly finished looking at everyone: “So, since no one decided to leave right away: Training starts tomorrow at 0600. I will see you all here. And remember: be on time!” With the last of his words he fully grinned, turned and walked off into one of the buildings. After that no one really knew what to do or say for a moment until Commander Morrison stepped forward and started speaking. In a completely different manner he welcomed you all, explaining that all your luggage would be brought to your dormitories which you all would share and that for this evening a welcome dinner was planned so the recruits could get to know the Overwatch agents which also would be your instructors. You were led to the dormitories by Athena – Overwatch’s service, analytics and security system – while she was telling the lot of you the story of the watchpoint: when it was built, what purpose it served, which rooms and locations where important to you. Arriving at the dormitories you were all split up into groups of two to share a room. You were lucky to hear you and Angela where meant to be roommates and you both smiled at each other, entering the small but clean and well equipped room. No windows, but a bed, a wardrobe, a desk and computer for each of you. In front of the beds stood your suitcases, on the bed lay a few pairs of Overwatch uniforms: tees, pants, jackets, even underwear, and a pair of boots – everything like you had seen the Overwatch agents wear – different only in the colour: agents wore grey or dark blue, recruits wore black. You unpacked your suitcases and chatted a bit until Athena reminded you that it was time for dinner. After putting on the uniforms, you and Angela left together. “Oh uhm. I need to go to the bathroom before we go. Please, you don’t have to wait for me. I’ll ask Athena how to find the room, okay?”, Angela said and hurried back into your shared room. “Let’s try and remember the way, recruit (Y/LN). We passed the cafeteria on our way here”, Athena said in her machine voice. You rolled your eyes at the AI trying to teach you but you still started walking. Finding the way wasn’t so easy though. The long hallways all looked the same, the best way to locate yourself was looking outside the window whenever you passed one. You were almost sure you had completely lost orientation you heard to voices from around a corner. “Was it really necessary to scare the new recruits that much. You know the last group didn’t make it at all. After two weeks, EVERYONE was out!” “It was you, who said, you only wanted the best, Jack, remember? I only try and find the best, not my fault if the U.N. brings us arrogant youngsters who can barely do anything but complain.” It must be Commander Reyes and Commander Morrison who were talking. You stopped in your tracks and gulped listening to their conversation: sounded like you were meant to have a lot of fun here. You heard Morrison sigh: “At least come to dinner with us to welcome the recruits.” “No, I have paperwork to do. I’ll get to know them tomorrow, Jack, that’s fairly early enough for me”, you heard Reyes say. “Well, then”, you heard Morrison say and his voice started to get quieter as he seemed to walk away in the opposite direction “see you later.” Reyes only groaned in response. You could hear that Reyes was obviously walking in the direction where you stood listening to their conversation. You panicked: of course it would look terrible when he found you sneaking and eavesdropping. You didn’t want to get thrown out on your first day. You rapidly turned around the corner like you had only just come along the hallway and crashed immediately into Reyes. You hit him with such speed and force that you tumbled backwards and would have fallen on your butt if Reyes wouldn’t have caught you with his inhumanly fast reflexes. “Watch, where you’re going, recruit!”, he said harshly, his big hands holding you so firmly it almost hurt. “I would but I can’t look around corners yet”, you spat back in a sudden fit of anger. He called you recruits arrogant? Well, he didn’t exactly seem like the perfect, humble role model. You glared at him but he didn’t seem impressed. His dark, almost black eyes watched you carefully. “Bit of a smartass, are we?”, he said and started grinning suddenly. “I hope you know when to shut that mouth of yours when it’s important. Otherwise we’ll have a problem with each other”, he spoke and slowly released you. “Cafeteria is down the hallway and then right.” He nodded into the direction. “Thanks, sir”, you mustered to answer before you rushed off. You angrily clenched your fist. This man would drive you insane if he always acted like that. “And watch, where you’re going, recruit.”

[heyfragics-blog]

Jonny’s Story - Part 1

“I’ve always been a romantic person, to believe that there is such a thing as true love, happy endings do exist and that there is nothing in life that completes someone as much as being in love. At 18 I met a girl who I fell hopelessly for, I chased her for the whole summer after I left school, I was moved by her, that feeling of invincible happiness just by being so happy to be flirting and decidedly falling for somebody. I spent hours on my roof watching the sunset listening to music and being so happy with the world, maybe the happiest time of my life.She was wonderful, clever, ambitious, caring in her heart, and loving in her actions. Weeks of ups and downs followed with me chasing her. I had slept with her best friend in a moment of drunken lust and I spent all summer trying to correct for that and convince her. Twice we were together in a bed or alone on the floor of a party kissing and so close together but it was too much and tears started that no apologies could correct for. After a confusing summer of love tinged with rejection she left for uni and I was left searching for a job to chase my dream of becoming a pilot. It took her leaving for  uni for one drunken fresher night FaceTime for her to say she had told people here she had a ‘boyfriend’ back home and she thought it was me. My heart exploded at the thought, to hear those words from her mouth made me feel untouchable, it made my soul glow to think we were 'together’ at last. I came to see her at university, to see each other at last and she was waiting with a complicated message from her friend to tell my girl she wasn’t happy with the two of us together because (her best friend) found it weird. I was so angry and frustrated with her, she had been silent all summer about us but the moment we acted on it she wasn’t going to allow it. We were both heartbroken, acknowledging the complexity of the situation, but still we were here at last, together and I wasn’t going to leave. We had our first kiss, nervously. It’s like a firework in your soul to be connected to that person, to hold them in your arms and be with them. We had a perfect day in Bath, seeing the city and wandering around hand in hand completely in love. A perfect meal over candles, it was perfect, true romance, not a cliche, just pure, natural and perfect in both our eyes. We saw each other maybe twice more and then we were together in front of our friends for the first time as an open couple. Of course everybody knew but as we stood there, holding hands we were both glowing at the feeling. It was wonderful to be put in front of people as one couple. At the stroke of midnight and to 'I will wait by Mumford and sons’ on the first of January 2014 under confetti and lights of a club I told her I loved her and she smiled the most wonderful smile and told me she absolutely loved me too. I felt a raised level of connection for her, to be closer to anyone else than I’ve ever been before. Everything feels perfect when you are in that space. Life’s challenges become easy, you’re confident, relaxed, fulfilled as a person and being truly in love helps you grow and lift yourself in ways you never even realised. It helps you to be your best self and realise your potential. We spent the entirety of 2014 in love. We worked together, it never lost its honeymoon sweetness, of course reality and routine crept in but we would make the effort to see each other. Driving down after a late shift in the dark through the Cotswolds excited to see her, still with butterflies when we met, when we kissed. We would make the effort for each other, I stole her away for weekends in fancy hotels it was ridiculous two 18 year olds, one a waiter and one a student could afford but I saved up tips and my hourly to make special things happen. We were so happy, I touched the perfect balance, true romance but still firmly in the real world, stable, healthy and so so happy. She helped me through my bitterest disappointments, crying over my failed attempt to get into British airways and helped me back on the path to success. Whatever subsequently happened I will always be grateful for the help she offered me in those moments, I would maybe not be where I am without her.

I became very very close with her mum, truly the loveliest woman I have ever known, she had a heart of gold and was fighting her own demons but saw the best in anyone, even the ex-murderer she once met on the bus. She welcomed me into her and her daughters life unreservedly, even bringing us cups of tea on Saturday mornings in bed. She helped me almost as much, maybe even more than Amy in my critical lowest moments, and I will absolutely always remain thankful for her kind words when I needed them. I even saw her in her house to say goodbye and thankful after the relationship had exploded to wish her a heartfelt thank you and best wishes for her struggle.

I never felt the same welcome with her father, I was always at arms length, polite but no more than that. Somewhat of an inconvenience and not unwelcome but at the same time not comfortable, I was always on my best behaviour and never at ease, her step mum did her best to ease things and was lovely but I was always more comfortable in her mums house.

I set out to carry on my journey to the cockpit. I started literally at the bottom, with a temporary summer contract as a baggage handler. I got the interview and offer on my birthday and started a week later, moving into a BandB to start my training for the ramp. It was painfully obvious I was a little posh boy, I always try to carry myself modestly and I made no mention of being a pilot or British airways but I stuck out. I quietly tried to do my job and be professional but I was constantly reminded of how much people disliked me, how much I didn’t belong there. I was working physically hard breaking my body throwing 200 20 kg bags into a plane and packing them in 20 minutes again and again and again at any time between 4am and 3am. I was desperate to give up, I hated it and I only found comfort in the encouragement and support given to me by Amy. I was helped by her and her mum so much, even my own parents weren’t supportive of me, they decided I had no other option but to carry on, I had to for my dream. I spent so many nights desperate to come back to Amy, my broken body and at my limit of what I could put up with, I was made to feel better, helped through the worst by her. I felt lucky to be so supported and it bought us both closer, I felt so blessed to have someone who helped me selflessly and we were still smiling and easily in love even in the worst of it. We ended up living together in her student house. It was a half hour or so from the airport and perfect for cheap living. It was super stressful, lots of early starts being polite around students going for nights out when you came back in and seeing them coming back as you left, it was exhausting but we still made time for each other. We still went on cute dates and did special things. The routine was there but we still made stand out moments. My job improved, moving off the ramp into the job I wanted via a stint in ops, now I was controlling the turnaround out on the apron and I felt motivated I was moving in the right direction toward my goal. The hours were just as long but t was more bearable being motivated. Christmas came and went still in love and new year. It still felt special but at a certain point, somewhere in the new year I felt I ran out of superlatives, when you tell someone every day you are souls yes or you love them with your whole heart it becomes routine, a baseline, how can you say more than that, how can you make it special. It was just a thought but it crept into my head. Her Christmas exams did not go as expected so the pressure was on for her to do well in her summer exams. The opening for British airways arrived so I was waiting for that and striving for the next stage, the next interview, the next test. One day I felt it. Suddenly she was distant, I wasn’t feeling the same, the special feeling disappeared. 'I love you’ became so normal it had no meaning, we were drifting, the magic had gone completely. Overnight. We were living together, both aware of this growing elephant in the room but neither of us were doing anything about it. After the break up I saw the music video for 'Still’ by daughter and the similarities struck me hard. We carried on for maybe a month, I was desperate for the old relationship back and I pushed for that. And then the word love meant missing, we were sleeping next to each other, facing away just too timid, too afraid of the answer to ask the question seriously. I was still in love with her, I was terrified, upset, I could feel something going terribly wrong but nothing I tired was working. It was like watching a car crash in slow motion from the passenger  seat. One day I came to start my 6 day pattern, driving the 1 and a half hours down to Bath, I dragged my suitcase through the door and she grabbed my arm and pulled me into our room. She told me that she couldn’t do this anymore, things had changed, she didn’t feel the same and she didn’t love me anymore. I felt like I had jumped out of a plane, my stomach falling and I went into panic, I begged, I pleaded, I professed my love entirely. I told her I felt the magic go and I was desperate to be 'back like we were’ , we cried, I was on my knees and her sat on the end of our bed. Tears dripping everywhere I just felt helpless, my whole world, the last 20 months disintegrating in front of me. She begged me to stay and not to drive home but I couldn’t, I dragged my suitcase back, I got Easter eggs from my car I had got for the house and handed them tearfully to a housemate who gave me a hug and wished me well. I sat in the car feeling empty, destroyed. I called home to tell them I would be coming back and I started driving home. I called my best friend. Crying and crying he had broken up with his long term relationship 2 weeks before. He listened to me as I cried and drove home through rain and my own tears. I felt no better for all his consolation. I didn’t really accept it, it was so much of an attitude change to have someone you have spent nearly two years with evaporate from your life. I wished it had never happened, I could forget, I could be like the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and have somebody delete my memories. It sounds incredibly dramatic but it is comparable to having someone you live pass away. Suddenly, even with an incling of  warning it all disappears and then go through the same processes. At first I couldn’t accept it, I wouldn’t, it wasn’t possible. I couldn’t imagine my life going forward with that big of a hole in it. Gradually it faded to a grim acceptance. The adage that time is the only healer was repeated to me by countless friends. It is cruel but true, there’s nothing you can really do right now to make t better but one day it will be okay. That night I came home to my mother who hugged me and sent me to bed. I was two hours in my own bed before I had to get up for work. I didn’t sleep at all, I dragged myself up and into my uniform, I set out at 2am for Bristol airport. It felt like a bad dream, driving by moonlight, all alone in a very contemplative zone I almost convinced myself it didn’t happen. I cried all the way there, for nearly 2 hours. I took 5 minutes to gather my thoughts in the staff car park. I wiped away my tears, I got my shit together and I put a very fake and unconvincing brave face on it. I was a zombie, reactive but not present. I was so tired, physically and emotionally. Everybody of course knew something was up, even passengers looked at me funny and friendly familiar crew faces asked if I was alright. I got out an unconvincing yes, everybody looks like they’ve been crying when they dragged themselves up at 3am. I t was raining as it often was, I didn’t have my waterproof trousers and I sat there on the wing watching people board silently crying. The tears lost in the rain. I was staring at couples wishing so strongly to be that lucky, to have someone and to be with Amy, to make sense of it, to process what had happened but I could not.

TBC in Part 2…

Author: Anonymous

[plus-dementia]

1st September 

I woke up to a text from Zoe… saying she bought us both Paramore tickets for January!! She won’t let me pay her back. I told her she’s not allowed to give me another Christmas or birthday present ever again. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by the people I am. Mom is so much more comfortable today. She’s wide awake as soon as I get downstairs. A new set of nurses have arrived this morning. We’ll be seeing them every day, four times a day. They’re here to make sure she’s comfortable and doesn’t need changing or moving. The woman who’ll be with us every day is called Avril. She’s really funny. I get showered and bring my makeup downstairs. I sit with mom while I’m doing it. She watches me through my mirror. As I’m doing it two of the neighbours come round. They tell me and Anne-Marie how proud mom was of us. We’re told this constantly, even by people we don’t know. Aunty Mary and Gerardine arrive while the neighbours are still here. They leave shortly after. I think they know this is family time now. Aunty Mary and Gerardine have barely been in mom’s room two minutes when a nurse from St Mary’s hospice comes round. She’s here to get to know us and what our plans are incase we do have to end up getting mom a room with them. Me, dad and Anne-Marie go separately in to the living room with her. She asks us questions about mom before and all the way during dementia. She seems to really want to get to know our whole story and not just what she’ll be a part of. I don’t think we’ve had that from any one else over the past few weeks. It’s strange talking about mom at the start of dementia. We all seem to have noticed the change in her at different stages. It sounds like I noticed first. We spent the most time together at the time of her changing. Anne-Marie was at uni and dad worked longer hours then. As we’re talking the home phone starts ringing. I answer it. It’s Aunty Marion. She was taking nan to the doctors today to talk about her chemo. Nan has pancreatic cancer. She’s missed a few treatments because her blood or iron levels, I don’t know which, were too low. We’ve been trying to get her to eat more to help this, but the chemo makes her nauseous. Catch 22. Aunty Marion tells me the doctor has said nan has lost too much weight. She has to go on steroids for three weeks, and if that doesn’t work she can’t have chemo anymore. This is the only treatment option she can have. Another bit of bad news. What great timing. I tell her I’ll get dad to ring her back once the hospice nurse has left. When I walk back in the room, everyone knows something is wrong. We carry on our conversation and the hospice nurse comes through to meet mom. As she’s finishing writing her notes, Avril comes back, along with a district nurse. We leave the room to let them carry on sorting mom. Just as they all leave, I tell dad and Anne-Marie what Aunty Marion said. Dad looks exasperated. Like his day couldn’t get any worse. He speaks on the phone to Aunty Marion for a while. I don’t ask what they spoke about and he doesn’t tell me. They’re coming back to ours now though. We’ve been trying to keep Uncle Gez busy with odd jobs to help him find a new routine. His life used to revolve around our nan and her routine. When we lost her, it was almost perfect timing that he could transfer that on to mom. There’s going to be no one left for him to really care for once mom has gone, so I think everyone’s trying to prepare him slowly. Me and Anne-Marie mention to Aunty Gerardine that it might seem to him like we’re keeping him away from mom. We think it’s a good idea that he has one on one time with her today. After all, second to dad he was her main carer. Natalie and Marina arrive. We could lunch together. As we are, Nan and Aunty Marion arrive back. Nan looks a bit down, but no one mentions anything about earlier’s news. She’s offered food straight away and for once she accepts the offer. Me, Nat and Marina eat our lunch while everyone else looks through the photos they brought back from Nanny’s house. After we’ve finished, and most people have left for lunch, the three of us go and sit with mom. Nan, Anne-Marie and Aunty Marion are still looking at photos. Tash rings and asks why Aunty Marion didn’t tell her she was coming over again. She wanted to visit. Aunty Marion thought she didn’t, but she must have gotten mixed up with Clariece. She has to leave to go home anyway. As she stands up, mom wakes up for the first time since she’s been here. She seems to keep doing that with Aunty Marion. We joke how she’s being rude and ignoring her. When me, Nat and Maz are left alone, I put on some 80s music, as that was mom’s favourite. We decide to have a glass of wine while we’re talking. Mom is staring at our glasses even though she never really drank wine. Her drink was Baileys. She must be thirsty, so I give her some water off the sponges. After two goes, she doesn’t open her mouth, so I stop trying. She must be in pain. The nurses come again so we leave the room. I remember that Nat and Marina are the only people who’ve visited and not had a photo with mom. I mention it to them and they say they’d like to have one. We go back in and mom’s eyes are closed. I ask her to wake up and she half opens her right eye. I tell her we’ll only be two seconds. She opens both and as I go to take the photo she’s closed them again. For another few minutes we try and make her open them. She eventually does and I take the photos. As soon as my phone is brought down, they’re closed again. Just enough time for the photo and then done. I need to get an external hard drive for my phone and Nat needs to go shopping, so we all leave to go to town. We walk to the train station and our train is cancelled. The next one is in half an hour. We decide to wait. I start to worry because I only wanted to pop out the house for an hour. We walk round a few shops and I end up leaving about 2 hours in. They ask me to go for a drink but I want to get home to mom. And all I’ve eaten today was that small lunch we had earlier. I get to the train station and dad is supposed to be picking me up. He’s ten minutes late so I ring. He’s never late, so I worry something wrong. Everything is fine. Avril has come over and he lost track of time talking to her. When we get home, I’m looking for something to eat and notice Margaret has made us a cottage pie. That’s just what I needed. Home cooked food. Nan is sitting in the room with mom. For some strange reason, mom is watching football on the tv. She’s never liked football, but she must like the movement on the green screen. Even weirder, she’s managed to eat 3/4 of a mouse nan had brought in for herself. She hasn’t eaten that much in two weeks. She hasn’t eaten anything in two weeks. She seems to be defying the odds and constantly surprising us. Aunty Mary, Gerardine and Uncle Gez come back over after dinner. Mom is still wide awake and we’re all so surprised. She’s turned a bit nocturnal. Me and Aunty Gerardine and Anne-Marie and Aunty Mary joke that we’re on two teams now: the red heads and the brunettes. We all start taking the micky out of each other. If we laugh long enough, you almost forget what’s going on. Until mom is brought up in conversation. It’s sad knowing she’s in the room next door, probably gutted she can’t join in. She was always the centre of every conversation. Me and Aunty Gerardine go and sit in with mom. We start looking through the photo album from the day I was born. Mom is still so interested and observant with photos. You can see her eyes scanning through the people. She can definitely still recognise faces, as she looks at me when seeing my baby photos. I like to think we have an unspoken language now, where she looks at me when she wants me to skip to a new photo. Mom stares at me so much. Even if I don’t talk to her, I’ll look over and she’s still looking at me. I’d love to know what she’s thinking or would say to me if she could. As we’re looking through mom and dad’s wedding photos, Aunty Gerardine asks Uncle Gez who lots of people are. I think she already knows, so I wonder if it’s asking or testing him. Me and Aunty Gerardine leave, and Aunty Mary goes in. It’s nice to leave them together as brother and sisters. I can’t imagine going through something like this with Anne-Marie. They leave quite early to let us all sleep. Dad looks so tired today. As I go in to say goodnight to mom, I give her a kiss and she makes a noise while her mouth’s open. I ask her if she’s trying to speak to me, and a few seconds later she makes a louder and longer sound. That’s the first time I’ve heard a sound that isn’t coughing or choking from her in probably a year. I like to think she was trying to say something to me then. I just wonder what it was.

[shadowofhapiness]

Looking After Our Own (5/27)

Summary: When the organization called “Underworld” threatens home security, CIA officer Emma Swan is paired up with MI-5 agent Killian Jones and the two are set to get to the core of the hazard together. Thinking that the over-confident spy was the worst of the matter was definitely an understatement however, as Emma soon finds out when the whole case turns into nightmare, with a possible traitor from within their system helping the illicit community to get their hands on something dangerous. Maybe having someone she might be able rely on in all of this mess isn’t something she ought to fear after all…

AN: Happy new year 2017 everyone! Here's the next part, getting that out there before I burry myself in my mid-term uni' exams. :)

Rated: T

Word Count: ~5.400 words (~24.500 total)

Fanficiton.net - Archive Of Our Own

A Rocky Road

“Did you find anything more on it, Elsa?”

Hastily shrugging out of her coat and hanging it on the back of her desk chair, Emma quickly hurried over to her British associate, unconsciously crossing her fingers in the hopes good fortune would be on her side, and that the email she’d sent to the technician late last night might have proven itself to be the beginning of a trail for them to follow.

Carefully setting down the box of donuts she’d picked up when passing by the baker’s earlier that morning, Emma offered one to her colleague and picked one out for herself before setting the carton package down–probably not the best things to start the day off with, but the rush of sugar would probably be sorely needed if Emma hoped for them to plough through this mess without over-working themselves- right next to the three empty coffee mugs neatly lined up next to the other agent’s keyboard. Elsa had obviously decided to come in early after getting her message then, and Emma gathered that the older woman must have been working for quite a while already.

 “I’ve been looking through the tape recording of Humbert’s call, isolating any background noise I can find and singling out the voices but not very successfully, the exchange was too short for me to get anything truly substantial out of it.” The blonde pointed back to the screen, where Emma saw what must have been one of her many computer detecting programs running, with several different colors identifying the levels of sound she’d managed to pull out from the initial recording –or at least, Emma assumed that’s what it was, while she would define herself as quite a resourceful agent (and woman in general), she’d never truly understood the intricate workings of advanced computer programming given that  it was not in her field of expertise, but she trusted Frost enough to assume she had a decent knowledge on the subject, and that she was pretty sure of what  she was talking about.

“Well, if we’ve gotten whatever we can out of the call itself, maybe we should try to extrapolate a little.” Given that the phone recording was unlikely to give them any extra information, Emma conceded that they might as well try and go down another route, see if they might not be more successful there. At the very least, it would give her something substantial enough to do with the skills she possessed and snooping around for any core-name related information from what they’d got from Humbert’s seemed a lot more engaging to her than merely picking apart a phone call and continue to beat a dead horse.

Taking a bite out of one of the sugar donuts, Emma swerved back in her chair, picking up the pack she’d deposited beside her own desk upon entering the room and pulled out the typed up report on Humbert’s case, flicking the first pages over knowing the agent’s basic details weren’t going to be of any help –might as well try and build on the hard facts that they already had.

As Nolan had clearly said, the goals of initial operation in itself weren’t overly intricate –just find the Underworld cell and try to dismantle them from the inside, but as she flicked over several of the following pages, Emma felt any hope of finding extra crumbs of information crushed to nothing when it became obvious to her that even Humbert himself hadn’t seemed to have been able to find much on the cell to further their investigation. Underworld had obviously been aware that the CIA were onto them even then, and thus had been exceedingly careful to not let the slightest piece of potential intelligence slip past them, given that most of potential assets agent Graham had met up with had given him next to nothing to work on.

It was as she flicked through the fifth page of the report that something caught her attention and, interest now piqued, Emma swung around on her chair, grabbed a pencil and carefully read through several of the reported written conversations between Humbert and what must have been a suspect he’d approached. She only made the connection after the name popped up for the third time, when she underlined it and linked it back to the audiotape she and Jones had heard of Queen’s conversation with her deceased handler but there it was, written in black and white – Hearts.

Eyes snapping back to the British tech and quickly noticing that Elsa was still typing about on her keyboard, no doubt in an attempt to get something more out of their current lead, she craned her neck over Frost’s computer, where a tuff of blondish hair signaled another fellow agent slaving away. As she got her first glance of him when she opted to actually go over to him with the intent of getting him to look into it, Emma had to admit that he didn’t look much of an agent: sandy unkempt hair, green turtle-neck sweater and wide eyes that seemed to not have a clue as to what they were actually doing –obviously one of the Brits, Emma seemed to recall getting a glimpse of him the other day but had decided against outright talking to him (what with preferring to keep to herself, Emma wasn’t particularly into the “getting to know you well” part of the job. As long as they managed to work together and get the damn thing done, it was enough in her books, no need to go and make friendship bracelets and bond over movie and food preferences with everyone she met).

“Hey you, Pan is it? Have a minute to spare?”

She must have startled him, given how his head snapped up and Emma had to repeat the question before Pan pushed his chair back and came over, hands on the desk and leaning over Elsa’s shoulder slightly as he took in the open program. “Want a hand tracking where the sound came from? I can-”

“We need you to pull up whatever you have on a possible codename, Hearts.” Emma interrupted, pointing to printed record of Humbert’s conversation as she gave him a copy. “It might be nothing but it’s the only lead that we’ve got for now. Anything you can find would be a help.”

“Right on to it then.”

Now Emma considered herself quite the resourceful agent –give her a gun, she’d know how to use it, give her a locked door and ten minutes later her own witty self would very likely have made it to the other side, have her meet up with a suspect in a luxurious restaurant and she would likely be able to talk him into revealing information she was after, but Pan, well Pan was something else entirely. As she nervously watched him typing away, unconsciously tapping her fingers the back of his chair in a poor attempt to relieve the stress, Emma watched intently as Pan alternated between scrutinizing his screen with a deep frown and glaring at his keyboard, as if blaming it for not getting him the results he was after. It was bearable for the first few minutes, but when as green light scanning the CIA’s files kept flashing on the screen as it still had not come up with anything, she found herself unconsciously biting her bottom lip and fisting her shaking hand to stop the tremors –their first lead and nothing was coming up! Dammit!

Pan had yet to say something himself since he’d leaned forward on his elbows (so close to his screen that Emma was honestly wondered how he was able to read anything), eyes firmly locked on his monitor, and Emma had been about to suggest that he might want to sit back down for a moment or even suggest digging around for more information and trying the database again if they found something that might narrow their search down when her phone buzzed in her jeans pocket, nearly making her jump.

Awkwardly pulling out, she quickly checked the caller’s ID –Jones, would you fancy that-before effectively answering.

“Swan. Need anything?” Had it not been for the previous tension, Emma might have noticed her clipped tone and done something but not now.

“Thought I’d give you a call, wanted to know if you missed me by any chance, what with leaving me in an empty apartment this morning and all-“ Emma rolled her eyes, the guy really had a penchant to be over-dramatic, which she could do without when on the hunt for a potential terrorist group on the loose.

“Yeah well I’m going to have to cut you there spy-boy, I don’t get overly attached to one-day acquaintances I’m afraid. And I wanted to come in early, had something I put Elsa on to yesterday that I wanted to look into.”

“You got something out of that tape recording?”

“Pan’s looking into a possible codename we picked up, called Hearts, although I haven’t heard back from him yet. In the meantime though, I’d need you to take a detour before coming in. Think you can drop by Asset Queen? Name’s Mills, lives on 56 Stayman Avenue, big white house. You won’t miss it.”

A moment’s pause and- “Sure, I’ll see what I can get out of her.”

“Oh, and pick up a packet of donuts on your way in, I have a feeling we’ll be needing the sugar rush.” Emma added before hanging up.

She refused to acknowledge the small smile on her face when putting the phone down.

You have arrived at-

Killian cut the GPS short as he turned off the car engine and let it cool for a moment after pulling up what he could only describe as one luxurious entrance. Pristine lush garden, an almost gleaming sheen of white paint coating the walls and a freshly varnished front door made the whole place look extremely lavish, or at the very least it was a far cry from what he’d known for a good chunk of his childhood. He and Liam had never known something quite so opulent, that was certain.

Making sure to check the name on the copper-colored flap of the family letterbox –Hood, seemed like the right place-he quickly made it to the front door and gave the bell a ring, hoping for their asset to indeed be there, for neither he nor Emma had actually thought to ring her beforehand. Impromptu visits certainly weren’t what he had the most fond memory of, some of MI5’s partners being quite the handful to deal with when deciding to be difficult to work with, but with the severity of the case on hand, there had been little choice. It was either him or Swan, and after letting her chose Killian ended up being the one saddled with the responsibility to make his way down to Stayman Avenue by his lonesome.

It was a man that opened the door to him, hair slightly disgruntled, large shadows under his eyes, and if Killian didn’t know better, he’d probably bet that the guy wasn’t long out of bed and that he must have interrupted him in getting a much needed dose of coffee ready or buttering a few slices of warm toast.

“Can I help you?” Yeah, that was definitely sleep he could hear laced with the words.

“Ah aye, does someone called Regina live here?”

The immediate frown and the whole taking a step back business it got him in return was enough proof to him that their asset Queen did indeed live here, the man not very good at the whole don’t let it show on your face business, but Killian wasn’t here to conduct an interrogation and force it out of the man. Him being slightly suspicious at a stranger asking after his wife was quite understandable, after all.

“Has she done something wrong?” His brow creased with worry as he begun to pull the door back towards him, as if hoping to be able to shut it should things go south –Killian had had enough experience out in the field back in the UK to quickly notice peoples’ skittish behavior, most days it was rather necessary for the job when trying to judge theirs suspects responses. And Hood was quite the nervous man. Might as well put him at ease right from the get-go then.

“No, don’t worry mate, I’m just here to talk. You’re all fine.” And if the words still weren’t enough to convince him, at least putting both hands up in a placating gesture seemed to do the trick, as Hood instantly let his shoulders sag a little and let out one big relieved sigh as he opened the door again.

Nodding, the man had been about to take a step back and probably go look for his wife when a woman’s head popped around the door of their living-room, dark hair falling over her shoulder.

“Robin? Everything all-right?” She asked, looking at him slightly wearily as she made her way over, eyes attempting to look over his shoulder several times as she did so.

“I don’t know, there’s someone here for you, looks like the police or something.”

Getting a better look over her partner’s shoulder, Regina took a moment to look the guy up, still not sensing anything familiar about him until she spotted the design of the file he had in his hands, one she’d known quite well in her former years working under one David Nolan –CIA files, must be one of his people then. Well, she needn’t worry about him then.

“It’s okay Robin, I’ll take it from here. Why don’t you go back to Roland? We’re probably going to be at this for a while at least.” She offered, letting the man in while trying to usher her husband away, knowing it would be for the best that he not hear anything of this lest she wished to put him at risk. And Regina knew she couldn’t do that when in the very next room was a four year-old boy who needed a father.

“And you are?” She stopped him, hand on his chest, unwilling to let him in any further without proof that she should be letting him in to her own home. The last few days had definitely made her weary of strangers, given her association to the CIA and the very direct link she had with Agent Humbert. She wasn’t about to let her husband and child get anywhere near such nasty business.

 “Agent Jones, part of the MI-5 contingency. Seems this case involves us too on some level.”

Nodding as he offered her his personal badge as proof –Regina would rather be safe than sorry, especially where Underworld and the unsavory people part of such a group were concerned- she lead him into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for him as an invitation to sit down, immediately following suit when he declined her offer for coffee and instead got straight down to business as he opened the file, the familiar records of Graham Humbert at the top of the pile making her feel queasy. Regina had a feeling she was not going to enjoy this.

“This is about the Humbert case isn’t it?” She cut straight to the point, knowing dallying around the subject would simply be a waste of both their time.

“Aye, from what Nolan told us, you were the one who kept contact with him, his handler so to speak?” At her nod, he continued on. “There’s a team looking into the phone recording as we speak, trying to get any background sounds or voices that could give us a clue on Underworld’s possible whereabouts, see if we can’t get a lead from that. But with one of Nolan’s agents and our technician, we managed to single out one name out of the whole thing, thought it might be a clue, and since you were the one who kept most in contact with Humbert, we thought he might have sent pieces of info to you. Does the codename Hearts ring any sort of bell?”

Regina pondered on it for a moment. Hearts was definitely what the panicked agent had said when she’d received his call –even remembering the whole damn conversation made her shudder- and although Regina prided herself with having an excellent memory even after quitting the service, she unfortunately could not for the life of her remember coming across the name during her time in the service.

“Can’t say I recall it I’m afraid. I’ve only kept very brief contact with Nolan very the past few years, asked him not to let me into anything particularly explicit because it might put my kid at risk, I can’t let anything happen to Roland, or Robin for that matter.” She cast a worried glance to the living room, where Robin seemed to be pacing around, no doubt worried at what exactly was going on. And while Regina wished she could just go to him and tell him everything, knowledge of what potential harm could befall her husband kept her rooted to the chair.

“Are you sure he didn’t let something out? Maybe coded language as to where exactly Underworld are located or something?” Killian pressed, leaning over slightly. This was always the nasty part about dealing with assets, you had the unpleasant part of pushing them for information when they were (understandably) reluctant to let it out. But this phone call was the only substantial lead they had so far, they needed to milk it for all that it was worth, and if Queen knew any tidbit of information, he would rather have it and it turn out to be useful than have her keep something potentially important from them, even if it meant forcing her hand a little.

Regina shook her head, honestly unable to recall anything more specific than what she’d already told Nolan. “Not really. The line was very unstable –kept cutting here and there and wherever he was when he called, the background noise definitely wasn’t helping. He was too panicked to even get a complete sentence out anyway –young agent, probably in over his head too, unfortunately.” She commented, regretfully. “He did mention that Underworld were definitely onto him though, they knew about him before he’d even arrived, so either they were listening into his conversations or someone must have sold him out. That’s my guess at least.” Regina shrugged, really not wishing to delve any deeper into this. She’d tried to come up with her own hypothesis for a short while, but chose not to let Nolan in on any of her speculations –the man had enough to deal with as it was, needless theories with very little basis wouldn’t help-but it really was the only explanation she got out of it. Someone had been on to Humbert’s case from the start, and now that that bit of speculation was in the capable hands of the CIA, she really didn’t want to be involved any further. Roland and Robin weren’t worth the risk.

“Aye, that’s what Nolan said.” Damn it, they really were opening a bloody can of worms, weren’t they?

Catching a glimpse of the troubled woman, and having little doubts that her equally worried husband was restlessly pacing up and down the room next to them, Killian judged it would probably for the best if he called it a day. Queen herself had very little to go on anyway, and he would rather not push her for information when doing so might make her panic and divulge something false. Nolan had her phone number anyway, he and Swan could always call in sometime in the future if ever they needed her.

And when sending a quick glance down at his watch informed him that he’d spent much longer here than he initially should have, Killian quickly gathered up the spread out papers, carefully putting them back in the folder before getting up and fishing out a pen and piece of paper form his pocket.

“Thanks’ for the extra info, we’ll be sure to look into it with the rest of the team, at least have our technician look in to Hearts.” And after scribbling the numbers, he handed it over to her. “If ever you remember anything else, you can give us a call. We’ll be sure to keep in touch and not let anything happen to you or the family.”

That seemed to do the trick, as Queen’s shoulders immediately slacked and she cast a relieved glace back to the living room, where her husband and child –now a lot safer than they were a minute ago, in her eyes at least- were casually playing together, completely unaware of their troubles. The less they involved potential civilian casualties, the better, Nolan and Mills has wanted to keep it to a minimum anyway.

“Thank you.” She added, as she lead him to the door, clutching the piece of paper in her right hand. “I guess Nolan’s the one I should keep contact with?”

“Aye. Stick to what you know, right?” He suggested, offering her his hand. “Take care.” He added, before heading back to the car and dumping the file on the passenger seat next to him.

He’d barely turned the keys to let the engine warm up when his phone buzzed beneath the paperwork on the passenger seat to his right, and any hopes of it being a somewhat fruitful message on their investigation turned to ashes when Killian swiped the screen and Pan’s short message popped up:

Looked into Hearts in our database, but there’s really nothing much apart from some suspected involvement with drug related gangs. Still searching for any extra tidbits though.

At this point, it was a wonder that they were even aware of Underworld in the first place, because apart from the two casualties –Cassidy and Humbert- the group was making damn sure to minutely hide the slightest hint of their existence, and tracking a ghost cell was going to be near impossible unless they were graced by a sudden stroke of luck soon. Otherwise, Mills and Nolan could kiss their chances of catching them goodbye, and Killian was just about sure to miss out on Liam’s short stay once he disembarked from Dún Laoghaire for sure. Oh he’d definitely see him sometime during the year, it was just upsetting that he’d simply have to wait longer.

Damn was this turning into a nightmare. Looking on the bright side though, he still had Swan’s donuts to pick up, and Killian mused that that had to count for something.

For all of his and Elsa’s many conversations despairing on the less-than-easy roads to drive around in London, Killian had to admit that it’s really was nothing when compared to Fairfax, because this was a bloody nightmare. He’d barely managed to pick up odds and ends for dinner and when he finally shut the door to the safe house shared with Swan finally and leaned on it heavily, he was rather relieved to finally be out of the traffic’s incessant noise –poor Swan, having to deal with this all the time can’t possibly be easy.

She was obviously still on the Grid, for there was no sign of her being home yet, and strangely enough, the whole place felt rather empty without her being there. Killian knew better than to expect anything much from the CIA in terms of housing (the few temporary places he’d shared with colleagues back in England hadn’t been much better, why would their American cousins be any different?), and judging by the baby steps they were going to take in resolving this whole affair, he and Swan were probably going to be here for a while, might as well try and turn it into a temporary home then.

Ad a temporary home meant home meals, which, If he couldn’t just pick them up in the local shop, Killian guessed he’d just have to make them up from scratch.

Hopefully Swan liked fish.

The smell was the first thing Emma noticed when she closed the door behind her, leaning her exhausted body against it just for a moment –felt good, getting rid of the day’s stress for a while, and she would have gladly stayed like that for longer had her stomach not rumbled, expressing its displeasure at not having had anything substantial in the last couple of hours.

“Swan? That you?”

“Yeah.” Emma made it to the kitchen, putting the pile of files on the table and setting her leather jacket on the chair after shrugging out of it. “What exactly are you doing?” She asked, one eyebrow raised, trying to peer over his shoulder as Jones filled up the plates.

“What does it look like? Dinner.” That was much too cheerful a tone for Emma, and she quickly gathered why when she looked down right next to her paperwork –homemade fish and chips? “Are you serious?” She almost laughed, almost, but Emma had manners, and laughing probably wouldn’t be seen as kind, especially when the guy had gone to the trouble of making dinner for the both of them when he could just as easily have picked up a back of Chinese or something. She knew the Brits liked their fish and chips, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

“Well I’m afraid it’s not exactly authentic, but it’s hot. And probably nice too, unless you let it get cold, so I suggest you dig in.” Damn that stupid grin, he was proud of himself, wasn’t he? Emma conceded when he handed her the cutlery, guessing there was little else for her to do than eat it –at least it would make one of them happy.

And truth was, Emma had to admit that it wasn’t half bad –maybe not as nice as a genuine take-away, but it was definitely something her starving stomach most welcomed.

“So… How did you end up in the service anyway?”

Emma had been so focused on chasing after every scrap she could find on her plate that she didn’t even register the question at first. It was only when she felt the silence hang between them and spared a glance towards Jones to see him looking at her almost expectantly that she realized he must have asked her something.

“Come again?” She offered between two mouthfuls –damn, this was really nice.

“How did you get into the service anyway?” He tilted his head, Emma noticing the lines of curiosity stretches upon his face, and it was only when the question hit home that her jaw froze. He was after personal information.”Forgive me if I sound blunt, but you don’t exactly look like the agent type.”

Neither do you. Emma felt like biting back, wipe that all-too-polite smile off his damn face and show him a thing or two that might just make him rethink his previous assessment.

She certainly wasn’t about let him in on how exactly she’d ended up working for Nolan –her time as a more or less illegal tradesperson wasn’t a part of her past she was particularly proud of, but Emma would be the first one to concede that it had been something of a necessary evil in her life. Clients paid her good money to get a package from point A to point B, and as long as they deliver on their payment, Emma had never judged it necessary to know what exactly it was she was transporting. It had been a means to get by before having one of those “crisis of consciousness”, as one would say it.

Her decision to enroll into the CIA had really been on a whim, Emma hadn’t really thought it through at the time, but with patience and effort, she’d managed to make a small name for herself, and Nolan had taken her as his own agent on her head of section, Ingrid’s advice-she still had to find a way to repay the lovely woman for that, by the way.

“I guess you could call it… A change of heart, of sorts.” She answered, cryptically. Good, it would get him to ponder on it for a while at least, he wouldn’t be back asking for more about herself. More Emma definitely wasn’t inclined to share at the moment. “After that, simply worked my way up to where I am now.” She added, not without a hint of pride –for Emma could confidently say that she did indeed take pride in both her job and in her efficiency at doing it. And that wasn’t something Jones was about to change.

“And you?” Bounce the question back to him, it’ll deflect from drawing attention to yourself.”You? Don’t sound like Mills or Frost either I’ve gotta add.”

At least Jones had the decency to smile –no hurt feelings then.

“’Matter of fact, I’m not. Let’s say I fit in the oversea colleague –Elsa’s words, not mine- I’m from county Wicklow, but making a life for yourself there… Not the easiest, unless you’re aiming to raise sheep for the rest of your life. I moved over to London after getting the job, got paired up with Elsa after a year or two and we’ve been a sort of team ever since. You got any mates in this whole business?”

Well, that explained the accent business then, Emma reflected as she nodded. Nice to know Nolan had managed to pair two outsiders together for this too, life never ceased to be ironic, did it?

Well, at least this outsider had close friends (Emma had seen him and Frost out of the corner of her eye. Perhaps they weren’t best friends like what one would grow up with in primary school, but she’d gathered a sense of camaraderie lingering around the pair. Made her wish she could say the same for herself, but closed-off Emma Swan was known to not let anyone in, and it was as she said the words that she realized –with a sudden pang- that that included potential friends), that was nice to know –lucky bastard.

“Nothing worth noting outside the usual CIA procedures and training.” She answered curtly, and, being an expert at building walls around herself in the blink of an eye, Emma shut herself off by digging into the chips, rather glad when Jones caught on to the queue and didn’t pry any further. She guessed that she could give him that, at least.

Or so she thought.

“So you’re telling me that an orphan ending up working for the CIA isn’t a story worth telling?”

Emma felt the chip slide out of her numb fingers.

The bastard. How-?

Almost reflexively Emma inched back towards the edge of the couch, ignoring his hand reaching out for her in a silent plea to make things right and apologize at the same time. This was getting way to personal, and she needed out, now.

Not thinking twice, Emma swiftly got back to her feet, picking up the empty wrapper and ignoring another Swan, please. I’m sorry. Maybe it was fatigue, maybe it was the added stress of having to live with a near stranger, maybe it was the personal jab –ort Hell, maybe it was all of it put together but Emma was exhausted, and reigning in her temper was definitely not her top priority right now.

“Look.” She said, turning around sharply. “Right now, you and me, we’re just colleagues working on this mess together. As soon as it’s over, we’re out of each others’ lives forever. I don’t think I need to know about you nor you about me for us to do this successfully, so until we get to the bottom of the crisis, I’d rather you not bring this up again. All right?”

She didn’t wait for an answer and instead made a beeline to her own room –thank god they slept separately- mind reeling as she did so. How Jones had managed to read her so well when they’d only met a few days ago she wasn’t too sure, but if that conversation had made anything clear, it was that Emma definitely needed to keep her guard up around him. They were colleagues, that was it, and it would never amount to anything more. And Emma would very much rather it remain so.