#so well if it looks off there is a reason
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dedalvs · 1 day ago
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In one of your Google talks you said that "crafts" was one of the worst English words, due to the awkwardness of having to articulate "fts" at the end.
This morning I saw the word "twelfths" written out and thought "Well hey, that's gotta worse than 'crafts' right?" Any thoughts on "twelfths?" Lol
"Sixths" and "strengths" are probably worse in that regard, but I simply disdain "crafts" for no other reason than that it conjures up silly associations. There's nothing scientific about it.
Really, though, we should all take a moment to reflect on how odd English is. We can just throw consonants on the ends of stuff and pass it off as inflection. It becomes more obvious if you respell the language in a more regular fashion:
stilt => stilts
bask => basks
keiv => keivz
bild => bildz
limp => limpt
wurk => wurkt
bask => baskt
rig => rigd
rib => ribd
We look at languages like German and Russian and say those have too many consonants in a row? "Bask", "basks", "basked", "basket", and "baskets" are all different words, like, what?!?! We pack so much information into a space that is incredibly non-prominent acoustically. Consider that "shirt", "shirk", and "shirked" are all different words. You have to reliably be able to tell those apart in English! Thank goodness "shirp" isn't a verb!
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dollfacefantasy · 3 days ago
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caleb x fem!reader
you and caleb used to play fight a lot, but things are different now that you're older
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, fauxcest, dry humping
a/n: um hehe just a small drabble cause i've been thinking... also i like the pipsqueak thing idgaf kiss me about it. imagine this takes place when she’s staying with him.
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"isn't this around the time you'd usually cry mercy, pipsqueak?" he breathes, his smooth voice warming the air next to your ear.
a small grunt escapes you as you try to lift your arm to shove him off. your effort is pointless though. his grip tightens around your wrist, and he brings your limb back down to the floor without much effort.
“caleb, quit it!” you whine.
he just laughs at you. his body doesn’t move away an inch. he stays right where he his, hovering over your smaller frame.
the two of you used to play fight all the time as kids. you’d squabble over the remote or your toys. whiny arguments would morph into a small scuffle, a test of wills. so it felt natural today to lunge at him when he held the book you wanted to read just out of reach. getting physical made sense. you’d been so agitated with him keeping you here, you needed to blow off some steam. it just didn’t feel so good when reality set in as he wrestled you down to the floor like always.
“it’s not funny,” you say and try to jam your knee up into his abs.
he dodges the move and continues to smirk at you. “maybe not to you. but it’s pretty funny from up here. pretty cute too,” he teases.
you scowl, squirming some more. in your younger years, you’d always been able to fight back a little. you’d lose in the end, sure, but victory had been in reach a few times. now, caleb is stronger. he’s bigger, and he doesn’t fight like a scrappy high school kid but rather someone with training. you’re starting to realize you have no chance now, and part of you wonders if you ever did. or maybe he’d been going easy on you.
as if to taunt you, he slides your arms up above your head and grabs both your wrists with one hand. even with his other one free, he keeps you pinned with the same amount of force. it’s fucking humiliating. you feel your cheeks starting to heat up as he drags the back of his fingers along your jaw, cooing at you.
“you always used to get so angry like this too. so frustrated. you’d think you would’ve learned not to start fights you can’t win,” he mocks.
his thumb comes to sweep along your cheekbone, back in forth in slow strokes. he stares into your eyes while he does, almost studying you. it gets you heated for a whole other reason you don’t even want to acknowledge.
“get off of me,” you squeak, your voice much less aggressive now.
“maybe i will if you beg enough,” he taunts, “if you use your manners and say please like a good girl, i��ll consider it.”
“shut up!” you say. you kick a few more times and buck your hips to try and get loose.
in response, he grabs your hip with his free hand and slams it back to the ground. you let out a little growl, assuming you’ll have to restrategize. but then he pushes his pelvis down on top of yours.
you gasp. all the fight leaves you in a harsh blow because now, unlike any of the other times you play fought with him, you feel a solid bulge pressing between your legs.
your eyes widen, and you sputter. you’re sure you look totally stupid right now. but you don’t know what else to do. there’s no question about it. he’s got a boner, and he’s rubbing it right up against you.
“i told you. you’re not gonna win. might as well surrender,” he says. he speaks in a completely even tone, as if nothing is different.
“c-caleb. what are you doing?” you start, “don’t be weird.”
“i’m not being weird,” he defends with feigned innocence, “we always used to mess around like this. what’s got you all shy now?”
you know why he’s asking. because he knows you won’t say it. the answer is so easy, yet you can’t bring the words to leave your lips.
“you know what,” you whine softly.
he chuckles and leans in even closer to your face. “maybe i do. but i don’t think that it’s weird. we’re not kids anymore. you can’t whine and wriggle around like that and expect me not to react,” he murmurs.
your heart beats harder in your chest. you can feel every thump. before you can say anything in return, he grinds his hips again, rolling his hardened length right up against you. and this time, it feels good.
“i- caleb- we can’t,” you whimper, biting your lip.
“we can’t? we can’t what? we’re not doing anything,” he says before grinning at you, “it doesn’t count if it’s over the clothes.”
you want to smack him, but both your arms are still immobile.
“it’s still weird. we’ve never- i don’t see you like this,” you insist, though the last statement is a complete lie.
he tsks and shakes his head before pushing his erection between your legs for another time. this one draws a whine out of you. his hips jump forward at the sound, but he doesn’t let his face show that burst of desire.
“what do you see me like then?” he whispers.
silence fills the air between the two of you as you fail to answer. you know what you see him as. you know your crush on him goes back years. you know what fantasies fill your head at night when you’re alone.
but you also know how you want to see him. what you’re supposed to see him as. what you’ve tried to limit his role to for so long.
“it’s ok,” he finally says, “i won’t make you say it if it’s that hard. but i know you like this. i know you, remember?”
he grinds against you again, but this time it’s not only once. now he sets himself into a rhythm, consistent swings of his hips against your center.
“i know when you’re happy, when you’re sad, when you’re ashamed,” he says, “i know when you want something, but you’re too scared to ask.”
ducking in, he kisses your neck. you moan in response, putting no effort into suppressing the noise now.
“that’s right, princess. your big brother knows you better than anyone, doesn’t he?” he coos mockingly.
“caleb!” you whine. you internally cringe at both titles, but outwardly, your face still contorts with pleasure.
“what?” he laughs, “that’s what you were gonna say before, wasn’t it?”
“but i didn’t,” you whimper.
“but you thought it, and it’s all the same to me,” he teases.
he refocuses his mouth on your neck again. his lips move over the column of your throat while his cock continues pressing right on your pussy. it feels better by the second. maybe it’s because he’s kissing your neck too, you’re not really sure. all you know is the hot, sparkling feeling in your stomach is building.
nipping at your pulse point, he then sucks on the skin like he wants to leave a mark. his tongue laves at it for a few moments before he pulls off.
“i’m gonna let go of your arms. you’re gonna behave, ok?” he mumbles against your skin.
“mhm,” you whimper and nod. the overt submission feels pathetic, but losing the feeling of him would be even worse.
“good girl,” he praises.
he keeps his word and releases his hold on your wrists. the air feels cool on your skin that’s all warmed up from his hands. now with his other arm in use, he can snake one around your ass and boost your hips. the new angle allows him to thrust against you harder.
“fuck, baby,” he grunts. you feel his lashes brush your neck as his eyes flutter.
your arms loop over his shoulders, pulling him impossibly closer. more little mewls spill from your lips. you can feel his stiff length sliding right up against your folds through your clothes. every swipe brings a blissful burst of friction to your poor throbbing clit.
“there you go. i got you. big brother’s got you,” he mumbles mindlessly. he chokes out a moan into your shoulder as his hips move like they have a mind of their own.
your body starts to squirm more. that hot feeling inside is reaching a boiling point. you clutch at his shirt, your nails digging in so hard they threaten to tear the fabric. the constant push and pull of his lower half is nearly hypnotic. it seems like you’ll be under him forever while also on the brink of letting go.
after a few moments more, he pulls back to look at you. his eyelids hang low, heavy with his desire for you.
“god, you’re so pretty. so fuckin’ beautiful now,” he says and presses his forehead to yours. his eyes shut while your breaths mingle. “i knew you wanted this too. just look at you. almost falling apart, and i haven’t even really touched you. i knew no one else could do this better.”
all you can do is whimper softly and cling to him harder. you pull on him as if trying to pull him into your body, to meld your two beings into one. the pressure down below feels dull and muted, but it’s blooming nonetheless.
“yeah… you’re gonna cum all over your pretty panties,” he mutters, “get ‘em all nice and wet so i can have some fun with ‘em later.”
“caleb…” you whine, useful words falling out of your grasp in this moment. one of your hands flies up and laces in his hair. your fingers clench into a fist, giving the strands a sharp tug.
he groans and bucks his hips extra hard. “c’mon. cum for me, baby. let me make my sweet little angel cum,” he murmurs.
it really doesn’t take much to get you there. the friction burn he’s rutting you both into works, and you feel yourself hit the high. euphoria rushes through you. a little breathy whine erupts from your lips. your back arches off the floor, but he keeps you cradled against him securely.
the whole time you’re cumming, he’s still humping you like his life depends on it. it’s when you start to come down, that he finally explodes. he buries his face in your neck, letting out the loudest moan you’ve heard so far. his arms tighten up around your frame as his fingers dig into your malleable flesh.
his hips jolt forward in random twitches now, chasing the last remnants of release while he spills inside his pants.
when he’s done, his breaths are harsh and labored. he nuzzles the crook of your neck before kissing your cheek and receding off your body. his palm runs over his face lazily.
“fuck, i gotta change now,” he says, not bothering to look down at the dark patch at the front of his pants.
without even really thinking about it, you reach forward for the waistline. you’re already craving more of him. but before your hand can get there, he takes your wrist.
“not so fast, pipsqueak. i think you should actually beat me before i let you have the real thing,” he smirks.
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un-fwuit-un-fwog · 3 days ago
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Cards and Casts
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Part five of The Rain series
Synopsis: Ace and Deuce's visits to The Prefect in the infirmary after Ramshackle's collapse
TW: Aftermath of Ramshackle collapsing on The Prefect, Ace is out of it, Deuce is (more) all over the place than usual (in a trying to process things kinda way)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 (here), Part 6 (coming soon)
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The next person to come and visit you was Ace.
The moment the news had been announced, Ace was already booking it to sign up to see you. At the time, it hadn't yet been announced that the further up on the list you were, the sooner you'd get to see The Prefect; Ace was just desperate to sign his name as soon as he could. It was almost as if he thought doing so would in a way prove that he did care. That it would redeem him for not being there when you needed him. That it would make him feel less guilty.
A knock was heard from the other side of the infirmary door. You had been told that your next visitor would be ace, but Ace never knocked.
You rand the little bell next to your bed to tell whoever it was to come in (you had a bell because you couldn't yet raise your voice much).
An unfamiliar boy walked through the door. His hair was a ruffled mess, his clothes were wrinkled, and there were dark circles under his eyes. It took you a moment to realize it was actually Ace who stood before you. He looked like a mess. He didn't even have his signature red heart painted on his face.
The smile he gave you looked strained, but you didn't comment on it.
You ended up having to beckon the boy closer after he had been standing in the doorway for a good five minutes. He dropped his shoulders and basically hobbled to your bedside. He nearly toppled over as he tried to take a seat, but caught himself at the last moment.
Tick Tick Tick Tick
"I. . .I brought cards."
And so, that's how you ended up playing a few games of Rummy with him. But he was still off. He was playing like an absolute novice. He was letting you win. He NEVER lets you win.
Eventually, you had had enough, and you set down your cards with a scuffed huff. He didn't even notice!
You carefully reached up a hand and pushed his cards down onto the bed and he just let them tumble.
"Ace." Your voice was gruff, but still somehow airy.
"Oh, uh, yeah?" Ace seemed to snap out of a trance. . .well, more like slowly drift out of.
You tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look directly at you. You thought about asking if he was okay, but the answer to that question was pretty obvious. You didn't ask him what was wrong for the same reason. Instead, you took a deep breath and held it as you painfully shifted over in the bed. You did your best not to make a noise as not to worry the already clearly upset boy.
Ignoring your screaming body, you mustered your best smile (your bandages kept it from reaching your eyes though) and gently patted the space next to you on the bed.
Ace gave you a hesitant look, but you just patted the space again to tell him it was okay. He wouldn't hurt you simply by sitting next to you.
When he finally did sit next to you, you let your head rest against his shoulder. Neither of you spoke
Tick Tick Tick Tick
When the silence was finally broken it was with a single mumbled word: "sorry."
"Hm?" you coughed.
". . .I-I'm sorry." His voice wasn't much louder, but you could hear it this time.
You slowly picked your head up and looked at him incredulously "What for?"
"I wasn't there."
"You knew Ramshackle would collapse?"
"No, I-"
"If you were there, you would have gotten hurt too."
"No! I could have helped. . .I could have-"
"No. No, you couldn't."
He went silent and his face fell before tightening slightly in the way it does only when someone is on the verge of tears.
"Nobody could have stopped it after it started. Nobody could have made it out in time either." Your voice reduced to a croak, but you continued. "You didn't know the dorm would collapse. It's not your fault-"
"Still!" His voice raised and a waver in his tone became apparent "If I was there, I-"
"Would have gotten hurt too. Then I would be too worried about you to do any healing myself." You could tell your voice wouldn't hold out much longer, so you said one more thing: "It's not your fault. You're doing all you can now by being here and being safe. Thank you."
Tears dripped steadily from the boy's face, but he didn't make a sound.
You lightly took his hand in yours, and you sat like that for hours. Together and safe.
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Deuce walked in not long after Ace left.
He walked into the room silently and took a seat next to your bed.
"How are you doing?"
You were about to grab the notebook and pencil next to your bed to write a response as your voice was shot, but she spoke up again before you got the chance.
"Wait, no! That was a dumb question!"
Before he could start further rambling, you shook your head and began to write: 'I'm doing much better. I appreciate you asking.'
Deuce sighed and began fiddling with his hands. "Does. . .does it still hurt?"
You took a moment to think about whether or not you should answer his question truthfully, but ultimately decided not to lie. 'It still hurts, but not as much."
Deuce frowned, but nodded.
'I bet I'll get some cool scars! Like battle scars. We'll match!' You scribbled out sloppily as you weren't exactly able to properly hold a pen with your hands looking like a mummy's. It was meant as an attempt to cheer him up, but he only frowned further.
"You shouldn't have scars. You're a good person."
It was you're turn to frown. 'You're a bad one?'
Before Deuce could reply, you tapped the space next to you: telling him to sit.
Similarly to Ace, he hesitated, but you eventually got him to sit next to you on the bed.
He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off again. This time you did so by dragging his arm closest to you onto your lap and grabbing a marker off of the nightstand. You uncapped the marker and rolled up his sleeve.
Deuce was too stunned and confused to say a word as he watched you scribble little pictures on his arm. The pictures were cartoony renditions of various times he'd done kind things for you. When you were done he finally snapped out of his daze.
"Wait! I should be the one cheering you up! First I let you get hurt, and now I can't even comfort you properly! I-I can't do anything right!" Deuce's head falls into his hands and you watch as tears fall onto the sheets.
A marker slips into Deuce's hand and he looks over at you with confused, tear-filled eyes.
You point to the cast on your leg. A blank slate. 'A drawing from you on my cast would make me happy'
"But. . .I can't draw-"
You cut him off by basically shoving the notebook in his face. 'Doesn't matter. Anything you draw will remind me of you, and thinking of my friends will make me happy.'
He ends up doodling a flower and an endearingly poor depiction of him, Ace, Grim, and you together and signing his name.
For the rest of his visit, you take turns doodling different things in your notebook and adding funny little details to each other's drawings.
When Deuce finally leaves, you let out a breath you had been holding. Your face contorts in pain and a soft whimper leaves your throat.
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sleepyhoon · 3 days ago
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i see you (always, forever). - l.hs
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synopsis. following your ex boyfriend’s sudden disappearance, lee heeseung seemingly enters your life at the perfect time.
pairing. stalker bf!heeseung x fem reader
genre. dark romance, smut, light humor.
word count. 6.1k+
warnings. swearing, obsessive behavior, stalking, brief mention of drink spiking (doesn’t actually happen), mention of alcohol consumption, person held in captivity, mention of past infidelity, extremely brief mention of childbirth, smut [ consensual somno, oral (fem receiving), p in v, sex toy usage ]. this fic contains dark content and is not at all how i view these idols. minors and ageless blogs dni. 18+ content read at your own discretion.
featuring. hwang yeji & shin ryujin (itzy)
a/n. happy valentine’s day babies!! wanted to do something cute and light but i fear it just wasn’t working out … so this right here is for my dark romance girlies hehe enjoy! drew inspo from the television show “you”! shoutout to bae @yangkkomi for beta reading
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Lee Heeseung has the worst case of separation anxiety when it comes to you.
The mere thought of being away from you for too long is enough to send him into a spiral, and you barely even realize the effect you had on him. His naturally clingy nature raised no concerns to you; in fact, you relish in his borderline unhealthy infatuation with you — seeing as your previous boyfriend of ten months disappeared on a random Tuesday afternoon, leaving nothing behind but a note claiming he needed to start a new life.
The week of Park Jongseong’s sudden disappearance was agonizing. Yes, he assured everyone he was okay and simply was moving onto a new chapter in his life, and that no one drove him to make such a rash decision, but something about the situation didn’t sit well with you.
Jongseong wasn’t impulsive in the slightest, and you would argue he was one of, if not the most, mature, level headed men you’ve dated. He was distant at times which often felt unsettling, but had his reasonings and assured you he couldn’t have been happier in the relationship. That was one of your favorite things about Jongseong, how he always knew just what to say to calm your nerves, and how he always had a rational explanation for everything.
Running away so suddenly was out of character for him, and a part of you feared that, despite the note left behind, there was something malicious going on that led to his disappearance.
Your older sister, Yeji, had just given birth and was in the midst of planning her wedding, while your parents deemed themselves as “too busy to deal with your issues”, leaving you to become a shell of yourself without having anyone to confide in. Days turned into weeks of you locking yourself in your apartment, typing your ex boyfriend’s name into the search bar over and over, hoping something new would pop up; but nothing ever did.
After a long, tiring day of Zoom meetings and doing more research on Jongseong, your eyes had begun to flutter shut when a knock on your front door wakes you. Expecting it to be your Doordash driver dropping off a greasy, million calorie cheeseburger and a can of soda, you yell out to leave it at the front door. The knocking persisted, and with a sigh, you dragged your feet all the way to the front door, certainly shocked at the man that stood before you.
You don’t even give him the chance to explain himself before you’re asking, “Why do you look familiar?”
He grins at you, absentmindedly drumming his fingers against the cardboard box in his hands. “Unless you’re a book lover we probably don’t know each other; I’m a manager of a bookstore downtown, I’m there all the time.”
“Is it… Brookhaven? You guys have K-pop albums too, right?”
“Book-haven,” he corrects you with a polite nod, “and, yeah, we have albums. Have you been to the shop?”
“A few times.” You mumble, suddenly feeling very self conscious of your outfit choice. With the option to have your camera off during the Zoom meetings, you felt no desire to get dressed for the day, opting to work in your oversized sweatshirt and sleep shorts. 
The unnamed man wore casual clothing — a grey North Face jacket atop a black t-shirt and white cargos — yet, you felt completely underdressed in comparison to him. His gaze was piercing yet gentle, like he carried a certain confidence about himself in a way that didn’t come off as cocky or arrogant. Though, you really couldn’t blame him if he were the conceited type; he was definitely an attractive man.
The silver chain on his neck had been paired perfectly with matching earrings, including a silver hoop on his helix. His hair, though likely not his natural color, suited him perfectly; the subtle curls and waves giving him a classic, boyish look with bangs that fell just beneath his eyebrows.
You clear your throat, gesturing towards the package in his hands, “Are you dropping this off?”
“Yes! Uh, FedEx dropped off some packages at my store yesterday and it looks like this must’ve gotten mixed in,” he explains, extending the package towards you, “I tried calling the number on the label yesterday but no one answered, so I’m just swinging by to drop it off.”
You accept the package, rolling your eyes at the mixup. “FedEx is always doing bullshit.”
He lets out a dry chuckle, “Trust, I’m fully aware. The driver for our block is this old-ass man; I once caught him asleep in his truck.”
You laugh a little too loud at this, inwardly cringing at yourself afterwards as you tuck the package beneath your arm. “Well, thanks for bringing my package…?” You trail off, hoping he’ll complete your sentence by offering you his name.
“Heeseung, Lee Heeseung.”
“Thank you, Heeseung, Lee Heeseung.” You repeat, earning a grin from him.
“No worries,” he responds, fishing something out of his pocket, “and feel free to stop by the store sometime, especially now that you have a coupon.” He says, offering you the small slip of paper from his pocket.
You accept it, eyes widening at the “BOGO FREE KPOP ALBUM” staring back at you. “I…is this real? You really don’t have to.”
Heeseung shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets, “It’s no big deal, I keep coupons on me to hand out, anyway. Plus, we’re trying to make room for more stock.” He says, slowly walking backwards down the hall as he inches away from your door. Like a magnet, your body automatically angles towards him, hoping he’ll say something else.
“You’ll just have to request a manager when you’re ready to use it, regular associates can’t process certain coupons under their employee number.”
You nod, free-hand gripping the doorframe as your eyes follow Heeseung, “What days do you work?”
He shrugs again, “Doesn’t have to be me, I have two assistant managers that are there pretty often.”
“Right, but, when are you there?”
He pauses, titling his head at you before responding, “Monday through Friday, eleven-to-eight. Sometimes I stop by once or twice on the weekends to check in.”
“Will you be there tomorrow?”
“All day, eleven-to-eight.”
The following morning, you had the sudden urge to buy a K-pop album and get another one for free.
Heeseung had spent a good portion of that morning conversing with you from behind the counter, listening intently when you got on the topic of your previous boyfriend’s disappearance. It’s still a touchy subject for you, and probably not the best thing to talk about while getting to know a guy you’re interested in, but Heeseung’s question on how “such a pretty girl” like you was single required a truthful answer. Initially, you feared your response of “my boyfriend went missing” would be enough to scare him off, but Heeseung didn’t seem phased in the slightest.
In fact, in the two-and-a-half months you’d been dating Heeseung there was almost nothing you could say or do that would phase him to the point of genuine concern. Not how it took an insane amount of motivation for you in order to clean your apartment (he was fine cleaning it himself), or how often you’d forget to take your very much needed medication (he was more than happy to remind you every morning and night, and even went as far as requesting a refill when the bottle was nearly empty and picking it up for you). Catering to your every need was just another simple task for him, and you’re more than grateful that the universe seemingly dropped him right in your lap when you needed it most.
Heeseung was patient, understanding, and was absolutely devoted to your relationship. In his eyes, you deserved nothing but the best, and was keen on making sure to provide for you. 
Cooking for you was probably his favorite task. He wasn’t the best at it per se, but improved with every attempt, and you seemed to enjoy his meals despite them not being to his liking.
He’d woken up early this morning to prepare a Valentine’s day breakfast for you, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead as he slipped out of bed and into your kitchen. The original plan was to go all out and cook a ridiculous breakfast feast he’d seen on TikTok that featured cinnamon rolls, sausage, and fluffy pancakes.
He burnt the first batch of cinnamon rolls and decided it best to simplify your feast down to eggs, bacon, and french toast sticks. Slightly disappointed that his original plan didn’t work out, your boyfriend sighs at himself as he pours a glass of cranberry juice before setting it on a wooden tray table. How he made it to your bedroom without dropping everything was beyond him, considering how he was still weak from sleep and could hardly keep his eyes open.
Heeseung pushed the door open with his foot, peeking his head in slightly and furrowing his brows at your sleeping figure. If not from the noise of clattering dishes, he was almost certain the smell of food would be enough to wake you up. He knew you were a heavy sleeper, but never realized how heavy.
“How are you still asleep?” He mumbles to himself with a sigh, setting the tray of food on your desk before retreating to your bed. He digs his knee into the edge of the  mattress, gently shaking your leg in an attempt to wake you. You don’t budge, your slumber remaining unaffected as the sounds of your light snoring continue to fill the room. His fingers trail down your leg until they reach the sole of your foot, his fingernails softly tickling the sensitive area until you’re jerking your leg away in discomfort.
“Weirdo.” You say through a yawn, angling your body until you’re laying on your side.
Heeseung rolls his eyes at your insult, grabbing ahold of your leg as he responds, “A true weirdo would’ve put their mouth on it, you’re lucky it’s just me. Now get up, I made breakfast.”
Waking you up was no easy task, whether it was seven in the morning or half past noon. Heeseung suspects you’re still recovering from sleep debt after all the nights you’d spent lying awake researching Jongseong’s disappearance. The nights you could sleep didn’t typically didn’t last long; it’d either take hours until you finally drifted off, or you’d wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare; leaving you unable to go back to sleep.
Your sleep schedule hadn’t gotten back on track until you met Heeseung, who made sure you were taking melatonin, iron pills, and just about anything that would help you sleep soundly and feel less tired during the day. And while the extra supplements may be working, there was still a lot of sleep debt you were recovering from; an almost concerning amount that made it difficult for you to get up most days.
You groan into your pillow when the smell of Heeseung’s freshly made breakfast hits your nose, your mouth nearly salivating from the scent alone. As much as you wanted to sit up and start eating, your limbs were still heavy with exhaustion. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be up,” you plead, “I promise.”
Heeseung shakes his head. “Y/N,” he whines, “just get up, I wanna spend time with you before work. You can go back to sleep after I leave.”
Today was the release day of author, Shin Ryujin’s, newest sapphic romance novel that Heeseung could not remember the title of; just that it featured a lot of smut, has over twenty-four chapters, and was highly anticipated. Her team had reached out to Bookhaven not too long ago, inquiring about hosting a Q+A session and book signing event on the day of its release. Initially, Heeseung had planned to reject the offer since it fell on Valentine’s day and that type of event required his presence, and he’d originally planned on spending the entire day with you. The payout of said event, however, was more than enough to get him on board.
He’d be leaving the shop and heading over to you around five, and have Sunoo or Jungwon close up, leaving him with just seven hours with you that he’d planned to make the most of. All he needed now was for you to wake the hell up before he has to leave.
You still don’t budge, mumbling something incoherent before the snores resume and you’ve drifted back to sleep.
“Babe,” he says flatly, shaking your leg. “Y/N. Baby. Dude, get up.”
Still nothing, and Heeseung’s on the verge of kissing your forehead and calling it a day, but there is one thing that could get you up.
Slowly, he peels the thick comforter off of your body, relishing in the fact that you chose to sleep in one of his shirts. Allowing himself further onto the mattress, Heeseung’s hand reahes for the hem of your shirt, pushing it up just enough to reveal your lavender colored panties. He pauses, glancing up at you momentarily before lowering his head and nestling it between your thighs.
He starts off slow, placing a light kiss on your inner thigh before trailing his lips upwards. Pausing right at your hip bone, Heeseung’s fingertips move to the core of your underwear, lightly scratching at your cunt through the soft material. Frustrated, he whines your name once more before slowly trailing your panties down and off your legs, discarding of them on the other side of the mattress.
Fingernails digging into your flesh, he grips your thighs as he repositions himself at eye level with your cunt, inching forward slowly until he’s pressing his lips right against yours. It’s gentle at first, much like how he’d kiss you any other time, a few gentle pecks until he was desperate for more.
Heeseung tilts his head slightly, and finally has his tongue fall flat against your entrance. The groan that escapes his mouth from the contact comes from deep in his chest, his fingernails leaving crescent-shaped indents on your thighs from how hard he’s gripping them.
He licks a long, slow strip along your cunt upwards towards your clit, licking and sucking at the bud as if savoring the feeling of your taste on his tongue. He repeats his movements a few more times, growing desperate as the seconds pass by, each moan and whine from him becoming more desperate and whiny than the last. You shift around slightly, furrowing your brows a bit, but still not fully awake.
Another minute passes by and you’re still asleep. Your body automatically responding to Heeseung’s touches, but they’re still not enough to wake you. He’s not bored in the slightest, though, and would argue that he could probably go on for hours if that’s what it took; but he has to leave soon, and needs you awake as soon as possible.
With a sigh, he kisses your thigh once before twisting his body and reaching over to your nightstand, opening the bottom drawer and digging around slightly until his fingers brush against the rubber vibrator he’d been searching for. It’s an air pulsing one you’d bought before you’d met Heeseung, and when he’d discovered it in your room for the first time, he’d insisted on implementing it into your sex lives as much as possible.
He turns it on, choosing to keep it on the first setting before pressing it directly on your clit. A sharp gasp escapes your lips at the contact, with Heeseung keeping his gaze fixed on your face. Gently massaging the toy against your cunt, your eyes slowly began to flutter open, a loud moan echoing through the room as Heeseung turned the toy up to a medium setting.
You grab a fistful of Heeseung’s hair, yanking him forward until his mouth is on your cunt again. The sudden roughness takes him by surprise, but he doesn’t seem to mind it in the slightest; in fact, he can feel himself stiffening in his boxers from you gripping his hair alone.
Moaning into your cunt, Heeseung does his best to keep the vibrator pressed against you while he eats you out. His desperation was astonishing, his moans nearly being as loud and whiny as yours as he continued.
When you’re finally close, which doesn’t take very long; Heeseung discards the vibrator completely; mindlessly tossing it on the floor to lap at your cunt with his tongue. He presses it flat against you, dragging your wetness up to your clit before sucking the swollen bud between his lips.
You orgasm almost instantly at that, trapping Heeseung's head between your thighs as you come on his face with your back arching off the bed and swears pouring from your lips.
You’re panting as you come down from your high, breath rigged as you drape your arm against your forehead, “Wow.”
“You okay?” Heeseung asks, voice muffled as you finally release his head was still trapped between your thighs.
“Shit,” you loosen the grip, “sorry, Hee.”
“Don’t apologize. Oh my God, I could’ve died like that and would’ve been okay with it.”
Weirdly enough, you don’t think he’s joking.
“Anyways,” he continues, “you okay?”
You nod, pressing your lips into a thin line, “I’m definitely up.”
“Yeah, me too,” He responds, tapping on his painfully hard erection. “Can I…?”
“If you do all the work, sure.”
Heeseung scoffs, already moving to tug his pajama pants down, “As if I ever let you do any of it.”
It’s not a complaint, Heeseung was more than happy being the more assertive one when it came to your sex life. He didn’t mind doing most of the work as long as it meant you were getting off.
When he turns you to lay on your side you let him, resting your back against his chest as he teases his tip at your entrance. You bite down on your bottom lip, hand gripping the bed sheets when he finally does slide himself in. Heeseung grunts into your ear, placing a gentle hand on your hip, “ ‘m gonna go a little bit fast, okay? We don’t have a lot of time.”
He wasn’t exaggerating, either.
At your confirmation, Heeseung pulled out of you entirely before pushing himself back in; his thrusts overwhelmingly fast but not painful or rough. You yelp when he bites down on your neck, though, a habit he picked up upon finding out you enjoy being marked up.
He was certain that neither of you will last long like this, so it doesn’t surprise him that after a few minutes you’re already creeping up on your orgasm. Heeseung takes this as a sign to speed up his already quick thrusts, his nails digging into your hip as he presses his head onto your shoulder.
You finish first with Heeseung just a few seconds behind you, squeezing your eyes shut at the feeling of him filling you up with his cum. As always, he keeps his dick buried in you for another minute longer, only pulling out when he’s reminded of how little time he has.
Sitting up, Heeseung moves a few stray strands of hair out of the way to plant kisses on your face, but you stop him with the excuse of not having brushed your teeth yet before he’s able to properly kiss you on the lips.
He scoffs, “You just came on my face, do you think I care if you have morning breath? Don’t insult me.”
“At least let me eat first so I can get this weird taste out of my mouth,” you counter, reaching over your shoulder to pat Heeseung on the cheek. “Can I do that?”
Heeseung lets out a loud, dramatic sigh, “If you insist. Let me clean you up first, though.”
He stands from the bed, awkwardly pulling his boxers and pajama pants back up before excusing himself to your bathroom. He takes care of himself first before running a rag under the sink faucet and returning to your bedroom.
After cleaning you up with practiced ease, Heeseung discards of the rag in your bathroom hamper and slips back into your bedroom, finally delivering you the breakfast in bed he’d been anticipating all week, a wide grin on his face as he sets the wooden tray down on your lap. “All your favorites: french toast sticks, bacon, scrambled eggs with cheese, and a glass of cranberry juice. Bone apple teeth.”
You chuckle at his joke, admiring the feast laying in your lap as you grab a strip of bacon, “Where’s your food?” You ask, noticing there was only enough servings for one person.
Heeseung shakes his head, resting the palm of his hand on your bare knee as he sits across from you, “I’ll pick up something on the way to work, didn’t have time to make enough for both of us.”
With a pout, you take a bite of the bacon strip, “Now I feel bad.”
Heeseung grins, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “Don’t, consider this part one of your Valentine’s gift.”
You’ve finished the first strip by now, moving onto the second one as you use your free hand to retrieve your phone from the nightstand. “Well, at least let me pay for your breakfast then.”
He shakes his head at you, reaching for your phone that you manage to pull out of reach. “Babe, you seriously don’t have to.”
“I want to,” you respond, halfway through Venmo-ing him fifteen dollars, “that should be enough.”
“Y/N…”
“Done! And don’t send it back or else I’ll be really sad, you know gift-giving is my love language.”
He chuckles, using the fork and knife on the tray table to cut a piece of the french toast stick, “Thank you, baby. You spoil me.” He dips the fork into the container of maple syrup before bringing it up to your parted lips, cupping his hand underneath to prevent the syrup from dripping onto the bed sheets.
You hum, cupping Heeseung’s face as you chew, “Anything for my princess. Also, you said this was part one of my gift?”
Heeseung nods, cutting another square off the french toast, “Part two is still later tonight, once I’m off work.”
“Can you tell me what it is now, please?” You plead, clasping your hands together as you jutt out your bottom lip, staring up at him with a pout. For the past week, Heeseung had been teasing about this big Valentine’s day surprise he had planned for you, claiming it would be the “surprise of a lifetime”.
He hums, feeding you another forkful. “I’ll tell you this, when you have the time, you’re gonna have to pack an overnight bag.” Your eyes light up, waiting patiently before speaking as Heeseung continues, “And, you’re gonna have to be dressed up once I pick you up after work. Nothing crazy fancy, just… something nice.”
Heeseung can tell you want to bombard him with more questions, and brings another forkful of food to your lips before you have the chance. “I’ll be picking you up around five-forty-five, ‘m sorry I’ll have to be at the shop most of the day.”
You shake your head, picking up the glass of cranberry juice, “Don’t be, I hope the event goes well. If you have extras, can you bring me a copy of the book?”
“For sure, and I’ll see if I can leave any sooner so we have some extra time together.”
“You seriously don’t have to,” you assure him, taking a sip of your drink, “besides, I have some errands to run in the meantime.”
Heeseung raises a brow at you, “Oh? You’re going out today?”
You nod excitedly, setting the cup on your nightstand, “Yeji and I are taking the baby to a Mommy-and-Me yoga class then doing some shopping.”
Heeseung rolls his eyes at the mention of your sister, setting the fork and knife back onto the tray table. You frown at him, shoulders slouching as you tilt your head, “Why do you hate my sister so much?”
“I never said I hated Yeji.”
“You didn’t have to, it’s pretty obvious. You never wanna talk to her when she’s around and you roll your eyes whenever I mention her.”
Heeseung shrugs, “She’s just not my cup of tea, is all. Our personalities clash.”
Of course there’s more to it than clashing personalities, but you’re not quite ready for the full truth just yet, so he decides to leave it at that. “Anyways, how are Jake and Jihan?”
Your eyes light up at the mention of your future brother-in-law and nephew, “I talked to Yeji yesterday and she said things are good! Jihan is starting to roll over and Jake plans on asking his friend, Sunghoon, to be his best man. Oh, and Yeji says the baby is finally starting to look like Jake.”
“Really?”
You nod, “Mmhm, Jake is so happy.”
“Good for him,” Heeseung mumbles, watching as you take a bite of the eggs. “Gonna have to head out now, but I loaded my card onto your Apple Wallet, ‘kay? Use that while you shop.”
You blink at him, “When’d you do that?”
“Last night, consider it part one-and-a-half of your gift.”
“You spoil me.”
Heeseung grins, “Anything for you.”
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The drive to Bookhaven is quiet, with Keshi playing from the stereo as Heeseung made his way to the shop and parked by the employee entrance.
Stepping right into a pile of snow, he shuts the car door behind him before making his way across the street and stopping by his favorite breakfast cafe, Heaven’s Treats. He ordered his usual: two bacon, egg and cheese sandwiches on croissants and two bottles of water; using your fifteen-dollar Venmo gift to pay and tipping the staff with a few dollars cash.
He heads back over to his shop afterwards, unlocking and entering through the employee entrance. Once inside, he unlocks his office door first, setting the bag of food down on his desk before heading into the main area of the shop. Taking a few minutes to wipe down tables and put away loose books, Heeseung hums to himself as he enjoys how quiet and peaceful the shop is. Shin Ryujin was sure to bring in a crowd later today, and he can already tell he’d be leaving the shop with a headache.
Once finished, Heeseung retreats back to his office and shuts the door behind him, grabbing the bag of food from the desk before walking over to the closet door. With a sigh, he opens it up, pushing the file cabinet to the side to reveal the door to the hidden basement. His eyes jot down to the keypad under the doorknob, where he quickly types in your anniversary before twisting the knob and pushing the door open.
Staring down at the wooden staircase, Heeseung sighs once again, “Let’s get this over with.”
Carefully, he retreats down the steps and into the basement, looking over into the glass chamber and finding Jongseong, your ex boyfriend, sound asleep on his mattress. Heeseung chuckles once he’s made it down the stairs, walking over to the pass-through attached to the glass chamber and opening it, sliding in the breakfast sandwich and bottle of water before shutting it with a loud click!
Heeseung retreats over to his desk and computer monitors that sat opposite of the glass chamber, sitting on his office chair before grabbing and turning on the intercom microphone. “Sleeping in?”
His voice comes out ten times louder in the glass chamber’s speaker, jolting Jongseong out of his sleep as he presses the palms of his hands onto his ears. “Jesus fuckin’… is the intercom necessary?! You’re right there! I can hear you through the glass!”
Heeseung shrugs nonchalantly, setting the microphone back on the desk, “You’re a heavy sleeper.” Jongseong sighs in response, rubbing his eyes as Heeseung continues, “Brought you breakfast, it’s in the pass-through. Eat before it gets cold.”
“How do I know you didn’t do something to it? Sick fuck.” Jongseong spits, arms folded across his chest as he stares at Heeseung through the glass.
“Do something like what?”
“I don’t know, spike my drink like last time?”
Heeseung lets out an agitated groan as he slumps in his chair, retrieving his own food from the takeout bag as he responds, “How many times do I have to tell you I didn’t fucking drug you that night? You actually made everything a lot easier by getting blackout drunk at a fucking nightclub.”
“Yeah, and if I didn’t blackout? Then what?”
“Who cares? It doesn’t matter, what matters is that you’re away from Y/N.”
Jongseong shivers at the mention of your name, immediately looking away from Heeseung and focusing his attention on the food in the pass-through.
Around six months ago, you’d showed up to Bookhaven hand-in-hand with Jongseong, and Heeseung had been enthralled with you ever since. He spent is every waking moment doing his research on you, which included doing a deep dive on the people closest to you: your immediate family, close friends, and stupid fucking boyfriend.
Heeseung knew the moment he laid eyes on Jongseong that he was no good for you, and was clearly putting up a facade when the two of you were together. Heeseung saw right through it, how quickly he’d pull out his phone to snap a text when you were looking, how he’d roll his eyes whenever you got too excited about something, how he almost never responded to your PDA — he was the fucking worst, and you deserved so much better. You deserved Lee Heeseung.
Days leading up to Jongseong’s disappearance, Heeseung had been watching him like a hawk; cyber-stalking him as closely as possible without being caught, until, finally, Jongseong decided to go clubbing one night.
Heeseung’s original plan was to wait until Jongseong was slightly drunk and knock him out, but Jongseong getting blackout drunk on his own accord made things way easier for Heeseung — all he had to do was pretend to be a friend to Jongseong and convince everyone else he’d be getting him home safely.
Dumbasses, all of them.
Jongseong stands, scratching the back of his neck as he walks over to the pass-through.
“Anyways, it’s Valentine’s day,” Heeseung says after biting into his own sandwich, “you have any plans? Oh wait.”
Jongseong rolls his eyes again, mumbling “Fuck you” under his breath as he retrieves his food and drink. He inspects the sandwich thoroughly before taking a bite, chewing slowly as if trying to taste each and every spice and flavor.
“Wait,” Heeseung speaks, suddenly realizing something, “if you just woke up, that means you missed the show.”
Jongseong rolls his eyes a third time, already knowing what Heeseung was getting at. “I’m sure I didn't miss much.”
Heeseung swivels around in his office chair to face the three monitors, each one surveilling different areas in your apartment. You were blissfully unaware of the hidden cameras he’d set up in your home that have been recording your every move for months on end. He’s doing it for your own safety, really; keeping an eye on you at all times.
You’re in the kitchen now, loading up the dishwasher with music playing from your phone, stopping every few seconds to belt out the lyrics or make an attempt at doing the choreography. Heeseung enjoys watching you like this, when you truly get to be yourself because you think no one is around.
He grins, switching over to the center monitor and hitting the rewind button until he sees himself entering your bedroom, “There we go.” Heeseung monitors himself closely, watching as he sets the tray of food down on your desk before walking over to your mattress.
He moves out of the way so Jongseong has a better view of the screen, a smug expression on his face as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. The monitors were on at all hours, meaning the only entertainment Jongseong had was watching you stroll around your house. Weirdly enough, it pleases him to keep an eye on you like this, making sure you’re still okay after all this time.
He can do without watching you and Heeseung have sex, though.
Jongseong turns his head away the moment Heeseung removes the blanket from your body, groaning in disgust as he takes another bite from his sandwich. “I don’t need to see this.”
Heeseung shrugs, mumbling, “Your loss” as he speeds up the replay. He prefers to focus on the key moments anyway, like the face you make right before you come on his, or how your entire body tensed when he leaned down to bite on the nape of your neck.
As arousing as it was to play back all those moments, he primarily used it as a personal study guide on what you liked the most, so he’d be better at pleasing you going forward. This behavior had started before the two of you even got together, if he’s being completely honest. One simple, playful retweet from you about preferring to receive oral rather than give it had him ordering a pocket pussy the very next day to practice on.
The first time the two of you hooked up, Heeseung had spent approximately twenty-four minutes going down on you, only stopping when you expressed concerns about his jaw locking up — not that he cared.
“Wait a second,” Jongseong pauses, crumbling the empty food wrapper into a ball before tossing it to the floor, “what happened to that big breakfast feast you kept talking about, huh? With the, uh, the pancakes and cinnamon rolls?”
When Heeseung doesn’t respond, Jongseong continues taunting, “What, realized you couldn’t do it? That you can do something as simple as prepare a meal? Wow, are you—”
“Shut up, dumbass.” Heeseung interrupts him with a shake of his head, swiveling around in his office chair until he’s facing Jongseong, “You think you’re better than me because you know how to cook? Go on then, cook something. Go to the stove and prove you’re better at me than cooking.”
Silence falls between the two, with Jongseong glaring daggers at Heeseung as he tightens his fists.
“Oh, wait,” Heeseung continues, tapping his chin, “you can’t cook; you’re trapped in my basement while I fuck your girlfriend.“
“Whatever.”
“Oh, now it’s whatever, but just a second ago you were so much better than me for knowing how to cook — you also know how to lie and cheat.”
“Whatever, Heeseung, just drop it.”
“How do you think Y/N would feel if she found out you were cheating on her with her own sister? How old do you think Jihan will be before Jake realizes why they look nothing alike?” Heeseung questions, tilting his chin at Jongseong, as if expecting a legitimate answer.
The mere thought of Jongseong and your own sister getting together behind your back is enough to make Heeseung gag; he couldn’t fucking believe two of the closest people in your life would deceive you like that. It was beyond disgusting, and he had a strong distaste for Yeji the moment he found out.
Ashamed, Jongseong turn away from Heeseung’s gaze. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
Heeseung rolls his eyes, turning around in his seat until he’s facing the monitors, “Anything involving Y/N is my business, fuck-face, including you and anyone else that bothers her.”
He navigates the surveillance controls until he’s back to watching you in real time, the corners of his lips quirking up into a smile when he sees you facetiming someone. He shushes Jongseong, who hadn’t even been speaking, as he turns the volume up in order to hear you better.
“…and I think he looks just like you, seriously…Jake?…I mean, I don’t know…I’m not really seeing the resemblance yet…”
Realizing who you were talking to and what the topic of conversation was, Heeseung clicks his tongue, “They may even find out sooner than you think.”
The sound of Yeji’s voice through the speaker has him rolling his eyes as he turns down the volume, not that it mattered, considering you disappeared into the bathroom a few moments later.
“Hey,” Jongseong taps on the glass, “let me ask you something.”
“No.”
“Why do you have a camera in every room except the bathroom?”
It’s a genuine question, but it comes out more perverted than Jongseong had intended it to.
As if the answer was obvious, Heeseung raises a brow as he responds, “I’m giving her privacy, pervert.”
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sooniebby · 1 day ago
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an idea; a (bottom) male reader who’s apart of an indie jpop boy group. The members are just you, a childhood friend, and three other people you met through college/random events. Your group was lucky one of the members comes from a rich family that doesn’t mind spending some money to help you guys out—waiting until a company finds interest and asks to manage you.
The first month or so is rough so you all find part time jobs in the mean time. But regular jobs just don’t interest you so it takes you awhile to even apply for any… mostly getting fired after the first week or so because you end up showing late all the time.
You’re left wondering what to do when you come across a website of camboys and camgirls. Some of them show full nudity while others stay dressed for the most part.
It intrigues you enough but you don’t do it without running it through your members. They’re mostly shocked you even want to do that… but other than that, they just tell you to not speak and wear a mask.
Easy peasy. You chose a simple and almost silly name, “Shy Usagi” since your mask resembled a rabbit.
The first stream is awkward, you had to figure out a way to talk. Surprisingly, a few of the people that dropped in were intrigued by your refusal to talk. You had expected them to immediately want you naked but it seemed you attracted people that liked the teasing aspect of camboys.
Though you were 99% sure it was only men watching you. The first few weeks, you only wore skimpy clothing and did anything they requested. The most sexual thing you did was suck a dildo.
Occasionally you’d masturbate on live and that would always garner more attention. But there was always one person who would tip you no matter the stream.
“Hitachikoi”
You were sure he was probably an old man but you didn’t care, money was money. He knew how to flirt so you never felt weirded out with his attention.
Things were going reasonably well until after your group’s performance at a little festival. You had spilt away for a second to look around when you bumped into someone. He had his face covered with a mask and baseball cap.
You were going to apologize and go about your way when you caught that he was holding a poster of your group. He didn’t say anything as he simply held up a marker.
It took a second before you finally realized what he wanted. “Oh! Sure.” You were a bit excited, having never really signed anything before. Your signature was a bit messy but still legible.
“Here you go, thanks for coming to see us!”
“I only came to see you.”
“Hm?” You leaned in closer, wondering if you had heard him right. Only you?
The man let out a laugh as he reached up and pulled down his mask, leaning down so you could get a clear look at his face. “Mhm. Only you… (Name)… or ah,”
His hand reached up and cupped your face, his thumb pressing on your bottom lip. It was only when he pulled off his cap that you got a good look at his face.
He… he wasn’t some random guy. He was a famous actor… a famous actor knew about you?
“Shy Usagi? It’s nice to see your entire face… that mask never hid your lips.”
You could stare as he pushed his thumb into your mouth. The only thing you were thinking of was if he was about to ruin your career before it even took off? But why would he care? Why was he even—
“Don’t worry your pretty little head. Someone like you isn’t made to think so hard,” he said, a slight frown on his lips. “I just, well I got tired of watching behind a screen. I wanted to touch you…”
His other hand moved to rest on your hip, pulling you closer as he pressed his lips against your ear.
“To be inside of you instead of that dildo… I mean, I’m paying you so much money, it’s only fair I get to have you, right? Mhm? I can have you, yea? I’ve thought of fucking your mouth for days now.”
“(Name)! Where are you?”
He pulled away, rolling his eyes. You only watched as he slipped back on his mask and cap, pulling your shirt back down. “You’ll stream tonight.” He said, as if he was giving you an order, not asking.
“I’ll see you tonight, baby. Wear something red tonight… that’s my favorite color.”
With that he left you standing there, mouth agape just as one of your members walked over to you.
You… were so fucking screwed.
In more ways than one.
Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @secretivemessenger @chill-guy-but-cooler @star-3214 @tehyunnie @remdayz @cherry-blossoms-187 @tomoeroi @mello-life25 @kiiyoooo @ofclyde @smellwell @iwishtobeacrow @euthymiko @rhetorical-conscience @mooncarvers-world @love-kha1 @anchoredphoenix @yuzuukix @bensontrechic
I already made a face claim lol.
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kyeomofhearts · 3 days ago
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Bed Wars | J.WW
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+ summary: after spending countless hours building a house for your boyfriend... you're suddenly met with his bed placed right next to yours? what the hell man! + pairing: wonwoo x fem!reader + word count: 800~ + content: fluff, established relationship, they're just playing minecraft lol, reader likes to bicker.
[ᝰ.ᐟ] happy valentine's day!!! thought i would post something small to celebrate since i didn't post for last year's valentine's day. also i would like to (unfortunately) thank @cherry-zip for bullying me into posting this on time! hope you enjoy, thanks for reading! <3 (borders made by @enchanthings !)
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"C’mon dude,” you groaned, staring at the sight in front of you. “I made you a house for a reason!”
Wonwoo’s response? Moving his bed right next to yours. 
“Well, I want to sleep here,” he stated simply.
You let out an annoyed sigh, arms crossed. “Like, seriously? The colors don’t even match!”
Wonwoo only giggled, enjoying your frustration with him. “What are you talking about? My purple bed goes perfectly with your pink one. Also, what if a creeper spawns in my house—how will you ever hear my cries for help?”
Your eye twitched at his insistence. God, he was so annoying. “Now, why would a creeper spawn in your house?” 
“You never know, I’ve seen it happen before.” 
“Fine. I’ll move out then,” you said, quickly destroying your bed and leaving the house. You weren’t even bothered enough to take anything from your chests.
The two of you continued playing in silence for a few minutes. It’s not like you were actually mad or anything… but it was fun to start a meaningless fight with Wonwoo. 
In the meantime, you explored the surrounding biomes in hopes of finding a suitable place to make a new house. Well, more like a camp. (Your house was way too pretty for you to simply abandon.)
After a few more minutes of silence, Wonwoo began to message you in the game.
[gam3bo1: where are you :(]
[gam3bo1: i miss youuuuu]
[gam3bo1: answer me!]
“Are you mad at me?” He asked, turning to look at you from his monitor, eyes filled with faux innocence.
You scoffed. “Oh, no. Not at all. I just love how you’re completely ignoring the fact that I built a whole house for you, and yet, you insist on staying in my house!”
Wonwoo let out a dramatic sigh. “Well, it's not my fault my house feels so… lonely.” 
You rolled your eyes as he spoke, but he didn’t stop there. Who would’ve known that he was going to be this pouty.
“Look, our babies miss you too.” He waved you down to look over at his screen.
To your disappointment, curiosity got the better of you. “This better be–” Your voice cut off at the sight of your pets. 
All of your in-game pets–the dogs, cats, and even the random parrot you found in a jungle biome a few weeks back–were all sitting obediently inside your home. Wonwoo had conveniently placed them all in front of his bed, having them turned to look at the empty space–where your bed used to be. 
You narrowed your eyes upon realizing the little stunt he was trying to pull on you. “You’re trying to manipulate me into going back home!”
Wonwoo gasped. “I would never do such a thing!”
After a few moments of pure laughter, you finally gave in. You could never stay mad at him for too long. 
“...Fine, I’ll come back.” You huffed out, finally turning back to your monitor and making your way back home.
As you neared your house, something new caught your eye.
Behind your house, was a small, heart-shaped garden. The ground was tiled in a red-and-pink checkered pattern, carefully placed block by block. Peonies and roses filled the garden’s corners, their colors nicely decorating the huge heart in the middle. In front of the heart sat a small seating area just for the two of you.
“Oh.”
“I made it while you were ignoring me,” Wonwoo said, his voice suddenly next to your ear.
Your fingers hovered over your keyboard. It was… annoyingly cute.
You continued to move around, stepping onto the checkered flooring and admiring the little details he had placed all around. It was cute.
“...You built me a garden?” you asked softly.
Wonwoo hummed. “I might have had help from a few tutorials, but yeah. I wanted to make a spot for us.” 
And unsurprisingly, your stomach did an embarrassing flip.
Wonwoo went back over to his desk, quickly moving his player to sit on one of the chairs in the garden. Following him, you sat down in the chair in front of him, and before you could even say anything he beat you to it.
“I just thought our shared house could use a little extra love. You know, since we obviously live together.”
You groaned, covering your face with your hands as Wonwoo laughed triumphantly beside you. He just had to ruin the moment! 
“Now c’mon, let’s go to bed,” he said as he pressed ‘Save and Exit’. By the time you reached the main menu, Wonwoo was already pulling you away from your desk.
“I’m never building you anything ever again,” you muttered, body betraying you as you leaned into him on your shared bed.
“Yeah, yeah,” he murmured into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “And yet you still let me sleep next to you.” 
You wanted to argue, but sleep was already pulling you away. “Mhm, whatever helps you sleep at night.”
478 notes · View notes
skeltnwrites · 2 days ago
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Break the Bed In— ⋆₊˚⌂
The first morning in your new home is slow and soft, spent tangled up in bed with Steve.
mdni 18+ fem/afab reader, p in v sex, oral (f receiving), switch!steve/reader, the fluffiest sweetest smut you'll ever read | 4k
a/n: this is dedicated to all my single ladies. happy valentine’s day you freaks! coincidentally i also moved houses yesterday so this feels extra fitting
── .✦
You wake well-rested; like every inch of you was unraveled and woven back together while you dreamt. Your wrist hangs off the side of the mattress, fingernails brushing the carpet. Your bed frame is a heap of wooden slats across the room, as is most of the furniture currently in your house. 
Steve’s arm is warm under your neck, his breath a steady string behind you. You flip over, your ear landing in the crease of his elbow. 
He’s softer in sleep. Cheek squished to his shoulder, lips pressed to a pout. He’s boyish in a lot of ways still, but growing less so the longer you know him. He’s got stubble and sun spots and smile lines. And you love each of those things, swearing he’s getting more and more handsome with them every day. Blame it on the lingering moving high but today the feeling triples. 
There’s a unique kind of joy in buying your first home together. It’s perpetual surprise, popping up in the most mundane of moments. It’s picking taupe over eggshell for the living room and it’s paying extra for matching key designs and it’s waking up beside your favorite person on a mattress on the floor. 
You stamp your lips into his skin in good morning, and again because it’s a satisfying warmth on your mouth. He smells sweet, like your new body wash since he couldn’t find his last night. You decide you like the scent on his skin better than yours. 
The quiet is strange but the farthest thing from unwelcome. No neighbors or roommates or parents to wake to. Just the soft hush of rain against the roof and the swish of your ankles underneath the blankets. 
Your fingers chase the hair from Steve’s eye socket, your thumb perching behind his ear. His pupils shift under his eyelids and he sighs the softest little sound you’ve ever heard. 
It’s cruel to wake him, certainly. He did most of the heavy lifting yesterday and was up organizing later than you were. But you’re feeling especially selfish this morning, tickling him awake with a swarm of several more arm kisses. 
There are worse things to wake up to, you reason with yourself as Steve hums, his fingers curling against the sheet. He’s quiet for a long beat and you decide maybe it's better to let him rest. 
But his lips part and he rasps out, “Mornin’.” 
“Mornin’,” you parrot. Your grin is immediate, spanning ear to ear with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. 
He smushes your face to his bare collar, the heel of his free hand climbing up his cheek. 
You turn to watch his eyes unstick themselves of sleep and continue to wonder how you got so lucky. You press another kiss to his chin. Another to the coarse thatch of hair on his chest. Another to his shoulder. You just can’t help yourself today. 
“It’s so quiet,” he murmurs, hand crawling under your shirt in a long splay up your spine. 
You beam, weaving a leg under his heavy one. “I know.” 
“We have a house.” 
“I know.” You sound as excited as you can be without yelling. 
He hums, the corners of his smile creeping wider, a hand steady on your back. 
Your finger twists a curl at his nape idly. “What’re you thinking?” 
Steve’s gaze flickers from the ceiling to you, eyes like old pennies under the clouds coloring your room a gloomy shade of gray. “Nothin’,” he whispers, lips skimming the corner crease of your eye. “Just happy.” 
You hum, one part agreement, two parts delight. “Can we get a dog now?” 
He huffs out a chuckle, vibrating the place where your chests kiss. “I can’t believe it took you this long to ask.” 
“‘Cause you always say no.” 
“‘Cause it didn’t make sense before.”
“So, we can?” 
He has a hard time pretending to hate the look you show him. Your jutted lip and raised brows show no mercy. He wants to say yes, of course he does, but he’s not as impulsive as he used to be. He’s a homeowner. His responsibilities extend beyond just himself now. 
“Can we unpack the house first? Then we’ll talk about it.”
You flick his collarbone. “Excuses. Excuses.” 
If there’s a fond way to roll your eyes at someone, he’s figured out how to do it. Steve knows you’re all drama. And he knows you’re over the moon with or without the promise of a dog. 
You bend out of his embrace and regret sitting the second you’re up. Your back aches twice its weight, muscles sore with yesterday's labor. 
But Steve relishes his view. You're in nothing but underwear and one of his shirts, the dip of your lower back exposed where the hem has scrunched up. He might buy you new pajamas if he thought you’d actually wear them or if he didn’t adore just how lovely his clothes look on you. 
And he doesn’t give you a chance to ask, his fingers automatically massaging a path up your aching shoulder. You squirm but you love it. You kiss his hand in thank you and carry it around your waist to play with. 
“Don’t get up,” he says. Pleads, practically.
You face him. “But we have sooo much to unpack.” 
“It can wait,” he argues. He steals your entwined hands for a persuasive set of kisses. One to each knuckle and then a flurry up your arm. And his hands are an equally convincing force, coercing you right back onto his chest. 
You’re putty, melting into his hot hands like candle wax. You throw a leg over his waist and settle down in a more comfortable straddle. The possibility of you falling back asleep jumps an alarming percentage. 
You bolster your chin on his sternum and meet his eyes. “But I really want that dog.” 
“More than me?” 
You hum debatably into his puckered lips.
He smiles hard and forgets about kissing you, pinching your side until you yelp. Your giggles spill through twin smiles, overlapping each other in layers. “Might have to put the house back on the market if you keep being so mean to me," he says.
“I’ll be nicer if we go look at the shelter today.” 
“Mm. Not letting this go are we?” 
You shake your head.
He pecks the corner of your mouth. “We’ll go–”
You see the shift in his expression before he even says anything. Your eyebrows jump in excitement. 
“If,” he tacks on quickly, “we finish downstairs today. Hmm?” 
“Mhmm. Easy.” 
“Easy,” he repeats. But not one lick of him believes you. It wasn’t easy carrying so many of your boxes yesterday and it certainly wasn’t easy getting you to pack everything up in the first place. 
But ultimately he’s amused. And he thinks you’re especially pretty when you’re confident. So Steve kisses you like he has something to prove. 
He gropes the swell of your ass mid-kiss and while it’s not unusual for him to do so playfully, you can’t perceive it in any way innocent when you’re pressed up against his morning wood. 
“Steve,” you scold lightly. 
He hums against your mouth, a faux sound of innocence. He knows exactly what he’s doing. 
You break apart with a wet smack. “Gotta unpack.”
“Have all day,” he says, words all smushed together so he can sew his lips right back to yours. 
“Mm-mmm.” You turn your cheek, but the hands on your waist don’t let you go far. “‘S, like, ten-thirty already.” 
He works a slow line past your jaw, spending extra time on the sensitive skin around your throat. Devious. 
“Steve.” 
“Hmm?” 
You push off his chest until you're sitting upright on his thighs.
His heart tick tick ticks under the flat of your palm. His pupils are wide, mouth kiss-bruised a bright shade of red. He’s so, so dreamy, all flushed and starry-eyed like this. He’s got you wrapped around his finger just as much as you’ve strung him with yours.  
You sigh. “Why do I let you win?” 
He smirks that stupid victorious smirk you love so much. “‘Cause you love me.”
“You’re so annoying.” 
“Me?” he laughs. 
“Mhmm. And a hypocrite.” 
The hand clasping your hip pressures you back down, the other cradling one side of your jaw. “A hypocrite?” he whispers. 
“Mhmm.” 
He fills the tiny space between you, half-lidded and heavy-handed in a fervent kiss. He’s not rough but he is eager. Open-mouthed and persistent like he’s trying to weld his face to yours. 
You meet him with the same intensity. It’s instinctual. The push-pull of your bodies, like you’re more one entity than two. You’ve been dating Steve long enough to know what he likes and what he doesn’t. You’ve made out more times than you can count. And he’s a simple man. You’ve got him hard, properly hard, in a matter of minutes. 
His bottom lip is pinned between your teeth, your chests rising and falling in sync. You grind back on his crotch and his breath hitches. 
“Ahh,” he pants. “Can I…” 
You don’t know what he’s trying to ask but you nod anyway. It’s not hard to piece together, though; not when he’s fisting the fabric of your shirt like it’s causing him physical pain to see you wear it. 
You help him hitch it up your back and down your arms to be tossed out of the way. Steve quickly stops you from lying back down. His large palms spread wide against your tummy, thumbs kneading either side of your belly button. He roves up your ribs attentively, studying how your skin pulls and dips beneath his fingers. 
You swear you feel him down to the divots in his fingerprints, the slow speed of his hands tantalizing. 
His thumbs pause at your breastbone, sweeping up and around your nipples as if he’s never played with them before. They perk up easily, to Steve's obvious enjoyment. 
He’s told you a thousand times how pretty you are, naked and not. And he doesn’t have to say it now for you to know he’s thinking it. 
He stares at your chest, your tummy, the soft stretch of your thighs, each like they’ve been carved from marble, destined to end up behind a glass at some museum he’s never been to. 
You get shy eventually, needling past his hold to hide in the slope of his neck. Your mouth peppers lazy kisses where it can reach. Soft ones, not nearly as greedy as before. You work your way up, suckling long enough to leave a couple of red rings in your wake. 
Steve's hips shift under yours as you arrive back at his mouth. He’s getting antsy, the finger fidgeting with the hem of your panties no longer satisfied. So maybe you shouldn’t be as surprised as you are when he holds your hips down and bucks up into your clothed cunt. 
Your jaw slackens, a broken moan dampened against his mouth. 
“Can be loud ‘s you want now,” he assures. His hands roam, around your ass and back up your sides. Soothing, but so feather-light you shudder. 
“Still have neighbors.” 
He hums in half agreement. Yes, you have neighbors, but their bedroom wall isn’t attached to yours. He imagines you’d have to scream bloody murder for the neighbors to hear you here. 
You slink back up to sit and Steve’s fingers fall to your hips. Your pelvis rolls into his. Again when he shudders. 
“Shit,” he sighs. 
“Feel good?”
His eyes disappear behind his lashes, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “Mhmm.” 
You continue to work him through his briefs, a slow back and forth forming a hot puddle between your own legs. With one hand propped against his sternum, you force your eyes over to the stacks upon stacks of moving boxes in the room. 
“Condoms… condoms.” 
Steve almost misses your mumbling– and to his credit, you’re talking more to yourself than him– but he blinks out of his daze and sighs vaguely at the nearest box. “Fuck. Bathroom, maybe.” 
Not ideal. 
“Think I have one in my purse,” you remember, swaying heavily to the side to scan the floor beside the mattress. 
Steve’s hands fly to your waist to balance you as he huffs. “You mean your bottomless pit?” 
“Don’t shame me. It comes in handy.” The bottomless pit in question is spotted, half buried under yesterday’s clothes across the room. “One sec’.”
Steve grumbles as you climb off of him. But his heart turns in his chest as you saunter off. His love for you is always there. It’s the shape of you as you crouch, how you tip your purse upside down and fan the contents out across the floor with a hum. 
“Aha.” You pop up, waving a glossy, square packet as you skip your way back. “My trusty bottomless pit saves the day.”
You clamber back on top of him clumsily, planting yourself in his lap like he’s no more fragile than the kitchen barstool. 
Steve groans under his breath. You’ve got him really wound up and his patience is thinning. 
Your hips roll into his again, the curve of his cock a strong silhouette through two sticky layers of fabric. You scoot back on his thighs and palm him with modest pressure. 
“Babe,” he shudders, thumbs pawing the sides of your underwear again. “Please.” 
“So impatient,” you tease. 
You watch him intently. How his nostrils flare the second you break the seal between his hot skin and the band of his underwear. How his eyebrows crinkle together as you push the cotton down his thighs. 
His cock bobs free before you take it gently by the base. Steve’s not just a pretty face, and he’s not cocky for no reason. He’s well-endowed, a dusty shade of pink blended tan into the dark curls at his hilt. 
“Fuck, baby.” 
He shifts his gaze past you because he’s certain if you make eye contact with him this’ll be the shortest sex of his life. And even the half-blurry blob of you in his peripherals is still too fucking enticing. He forces his eyes up at the popcorn ceiling and traces the shapes in his mind. 
You spread the pearl of precum down a vein on the side of his cock, using the slip to tug him a handful of times. The slick dissolves, and your hand catches twice before you’re getting ready to spit in it.  
But Steve whines, “Need to feel you.” 
Your hand stops but the pad of your pinky trails a sneaky line from tip to base. “My hands not enough for you, Stevie?” 
“Not gonna– mm– last.” 
“Well, we can’t have that, can we?” 
You mean it rhetorically but he quickly shakes his head no. You forget how much you enjoy being in charge until you have Steve squirming under you. 
You stabilize yourself on his chest, hiking one leg up at a time until you’re underwear have been flung to the floor. The slick between your folds is more palpable as you sit back on his thighs, hot skin to hot skin. 
His eyelids flutter closed as you roll the condom on. He’s flushed up to his ears, breath nimble off his open mouth. 
“Ready?” 
He nods like you’ve asked something outrageously silly. 
You guide the head of his cock up to your folds, sinking down in one tedious stride. It’s a good kind of ache, scratching the deepest part of your tummy. 
His hips jerk involuntarily as you release your full weight onto them, his nails leaving crescents on your skin. “‘M not gonna last,” he warns again. 
“I’ll go slow.” 
It’s not much consolation. No matter what you do to him, he’s not gonna last. You’re too damn irresistible for your own good. 
You rock your hips forward and back in a continuous cycle. The pace is indulgent, just slow enough to make things last. Your eyes unfocus, your head tipping back. Every drag squeezes the coil in your stomach tighter. 
Steve’s eyes flick to yours, his voice wavering as he mumbles, “Tease me too much.”
“I do?”
“Mhmm.”
You smile softly at him and his eyes jump away. He’s drawing loopy patterns into the meat of your thigh to distract himself. And it doesn’t help when you cover his hand and sweep your thumb across every digit. He’s so focused on not blowing his load that he can’t even speak. 
You pause your rhythm and hum to yourself before continuing. “Know what I just realized.”
“Hmm?”
“Forgot the shower curtain.”
Steve exhales hard, words sticking to his teeth.“We’ll get a new one.” 
“I really liked that one.”
He can’t think straight long enough to tell if you’re purposely trying to distract him or not and he doesn’t care all that much either way. He just needs you to be the same level of fucked that he is. 
His hand trembles over to your pubic bone, thumb snaking right up to your clit. 
You nod as he presses. Right there. 
He rubs slow circles, a spark of pleasure each time he closes a loop. 
“Fuck,” you drawl simultaneously. 
You laugh, blissfully unaware as your muscles clamp around his cock. 
But Steve’s fingers pause on your clit, his other hand tense at your hip. “Don’t,” he shudders out. 
You close your mouth, a soft little apology grin that sends Steve’s stomach flipping. He’s so fucking in love it’s not even funny. 
“Sit on my face.”
You hum, so high on cloud nine you’re sure you’ve misheard him. 
“Let me taste you.”
Your breath stutters. He’s serious. 
“Come here,” he’s pushing you up and off him before you have much of a chance to process it. “Wanna make you feel good.” 
Your cheeks burn a hot shade of embarrassment, your tongue suddenly too heavy in your mouth. You wriggle up his body, guided by the relentless hands on the backs of your thighs. Steve’s eaten you out, but not like this. 
“Steve,” you manage. 
“What?” He knows you better than he’s known anyone in his life. He feels your shaking and he hears the rampant doubts coursing your mind. “I want to,” he promises, pressing a long, love-packed kiss to the soft flesh of your inner thigh. 
You’re unconvinced. You’re certain you’ll break his face the second you sit down. You’ll be so mortified you’ll have to break up with him if he doesn’t first. You’ll have to sell the house before you’ve even unpacked–
“Please?”
He’s not trying to be pushy or even funny as he bats his eyes. He just so genuinely craves to see you unravel in the same way you’ve spun him around. And yeah, he has a sweet set of brown eyes. Sue him. He loves you too much to look at you with any less adoration. 
You nod emphatically. 
It’s been a long time since you’ve been this nervous about sex with Steve, but you’ve learned just about everything there is to know about him since. You trust him in every capacity, especially in bed.   
He nips his way up your thigh, pulling you lower and lower until his breath is hot on your cunt. Steve licks a wide stripe up to your clit, sucking before swirling his tongue around the sensitive hood. And then his mouth starts lapping you like you’re his last meal. 
Your fist jerks, fingers knotted through the hair on his scalp, and he moans. You don’t hear it over the wet smacking as much as you feel it, the vibrations sending pleasure through you like a pulse. 
His tongue drives you to a mess. He’d push you completely over the edge if you didn’t stop him.
“Okay, okay,” you gasp, pushing up onto your knees. “We’re even.” 
He smirks and strokes down the backs of your calves. “Are we competing?” 
“You seem to think so.” 
He shimmies to a sit with an arm around your waist and bestows you with a fleeting kiss, lips washed with the taste of your juices. “Lay down.”
How the fuck could you say no to such a pretty face? 
You scooch down, face up on the sheets. Steve parts you by the ankles and crawls up your body, planting kisses like seeds. His teeth graze the inside of your wrist before he stretches it up and flat against the mattress above your head. 
Your fingers thread through his, his other hand steadying his cock at your entrance. He swipes the head up and down your wet folds before sliding in with a groan. There’s less resistance this time, a fluid in and out to his hips. 
His thrusts are languid. He indulges more closely in the taste of your mouth and the balmy feel of your waist. 
The winding in your tummy resumes, your fingers naturally finding your clit while Steve rocks into you. A heavier thrust and your lips detach, Steve’s rehoming to the skin beneath your jaw. He picks up his pace, puffing and panting into your neck in short bursts. 
Your legs wrap around his, the heel of your foot digging into his lower back. “Mm– Steve.”
“Yeah?” he huffs. 
“Mhmm.”
If the sounds you’re making are anything to go by, Steve thinks he’s doing a pretty good job. And you know he’s just as close to cumming. You know his little sounds and twisty little expressions like the back of your hand. How his stomach tenses and his breath catches. 
You burn the entirety of this to your brain, rubbing yourself faster, more in time with his movements. 
“‘M close,” he says, desperate and hopeful that you are too. 
You nod, focused on the high climbing higher each second. 
His hips stutter when you clench around him. The coil releases and you come undone simultaneously. 
“Fuck, ah– fuck,” he whines, sharp but breathy in your ear.  
Your fingers slow and his thrusts wane and the pleasure softens. Steve wobbles down onto you as gently as he can, taking your interlaced hand between your bodies. Your hearts kiss with each rise and fall of your chests. Steve mouths over the most accessible bit of skin under your ear, thumb sweeping the gentlest curves around your face. 
You exhale into his crown, raking a hand through the dark mop of curls damp at his nape. Your other eases down his back, savoring the contraction of his muscles as he breathes. You travel down the curve of his ass and give him a firm squeeze. “How’s your ass? Still sore?” 
He huffs at you, nose crushed to your neck. “I fall down one flight of stairs and I never hear the end of it.” 
“I told you to be careful.” 
“I was being– whatever.” His thumb continues to caress your jaw, his lips idle on your neck. 
This is Steve’s favorite part of sex. To hold and to be held, easing off a high that’s miles better than a good smoke. There’s nothing greater. 
“Should I check for bruises?” 
“If you kiss ‘em better.” 
Your chest aches with the sweet swell of laughter. Steve’s your person. You realize it time and time again. 
He peels himself off like you're double-sided tape. His hair’s still crazy despite your finger-combing and his eyes are just as heavy as they were when he woke up. He slides out of you with a hiss, sitting back to knot the condom and toss it toward a pile of bubble wrap. 
He looks back at you fondly. “Shower?” 
You shake your head. “Just lay with me.” 
“Downstairs isn’t gonna unpack itself, you know.”
“Shut up.” You palm his chest until he lays and you throw an arm across his middle. “This was your evil plan all along.” 
He chuckles, taking your hand to massage between both of his. “I’m just the worst aren’t I?” 
536 notes · View notes
cheyisagirlkisser · 1 day ago
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sevika.com..
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➜┆ ↻ 𝙇𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜... ⟳ sevika x fem! camgirl reader
possible warnings on your browser: unofficial sugar mommy sevika who would go nuts over camgirl websites these days (as opposed to brothels in zaun), mechanic! sevika(who bffr is probably getting dirty cash from silco at his auto shop), 18+ content, masturbation (both), lingerie and vibrators, dirty talk.
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Sevika is the type of person to make fun of the guys who actually think the stripper likes them. That is just who she is.
However, camgirls? Totally different story.
Something using her money she racks in from a sketchy auto shop named "Silco's Auto Haven" to purchase monthly subscriptions for lingerie-clad women? Absolutely.
Imagine it—Sevika walking through the door after a long day at work. Her muscles are aching, and she just wants to take a shower, collapse on her ratty couch, and send her hard-earned income to her favorite camgirl, you. With two fingers in her aching cunt, of course.
Meanwhile, you are in your comfy bedroom. You've got a mountain of pillows pushed back out of your iphone camera's view so you can be the main focus, and your cheeks are visibly dark with desire. You look right into the camera and lean forward, your tits nearly spilling out of the pretty, pink Victoria's Secret lingerie set you were able to buy with money that Sevika donated to you. Only slightly can the hundreds, if not thousands of viewers see a hint of pebbled skin, your nipple peeking out of the bra. You're a fucking tease, and your fans love it.
slipknot_slut commented: take off the bra for us, baby.
You squint your eyes to read the influx of comments, but that one stands out in particular. You huff out a teasing laugh, leaning slightly out of frame on purpose.
"Slipknot_slut says i should show everyone my tits. Well, maybe after a donation or two. Go to pornhub if you wanna see some free titties." You say with a slight shrug.
onomatopoeiabitch22 commented: GIRL? WE LITERALLY PAY TO SEE THIS. SHOW US UR TITTIES.
ambessahub commented: i could eat you for protein
"Uhh, okay." You scoff, both amused and weirded out. Chat is getting pushy, and in all truth, you need some donations for rent. (The only reason you're struggling is because a certain someone had been working overtime as a mechanic, missing your most recent livestream).
And then, practically godsent, you see your favorite username.
iluvgamblingngirls has joined the livestream. Say hi!
"Sevikkkkaaa!! Hi, baby." You coo over the screen excitedly, unaware of how wet you're currently making Sevika's pussy.
Sevika is already pumping her cunt tightly with her fingers, eyes transfixed on the way you begin to unclasp your bra, already knowing that she's got you. It nearly makes her laugh at the thought that you're such a huge slut for her, and you don't even know what she looks like. She knows it's the money, she isn't stupid. But you get so desperate, it makes both her heart and pussy warm from inside her cheap apartment, laid out on the couch with her phone tight in her grip. With shaky hands, she begins the bidding.
iluvgamblingngirls has left a donation of $500. Say thanks!
Your eyes widen, and you finally throw your bra behind you haphazardly. You don't make Sevika wait like you do your other fans, grabbing the string attached to your panties around your hips and sliding the fabric down the wide expanse of your thighs.
"Fuuck.." Sevika curses underneath her breath when she is able to see the glistening wetness on your panties, simply because it catches on the light and the camera just barely picks it up. Regardless, she finds herself fucking herself at a harsher pace.
Your center your naked body back into frame, and your hand slides a vibrator right between your legs. Suddenly, Sevika isn't feeling good alone. Your clit pulses with each vibration, your moans exaggerated but real. Sevika wonders if you've been pent up. It may sound creepy, but Sevika has a knack for distinguishing your real moans from the dramatic, pornographic sounds that are truly from pleasuring yourself, but obviously aren't fully realistic.
The thought that you struggled to get off without Sevika on the livestream sends a pang of heat throughout her lower abdomen, and she tries to find a pace that matches yours. She can't help herself from wanting to talk to you, however.
iluvgamblingngirls commented: wish you could ride me into the mattress
iluvgamblingngirls has sent a donation of $500!
When you read Sevika's message, you let out a soft moan, allowing yourself to fall back onto the bed and spread your legs wider, growing desperate.
You don't know what it is about Sevika's messages and financial support, but it has an effect on you. It's the countless donations that go towards rent/groceries, lingerie for live streams, and expensive lotions to keep your skin smooth. It's the comments that do not hesitate to inform you of the filthy things Sevika wants to do to you. Ride her into the mattress. You shouldn't get yourself so heated over someone who is practically faceless to you, but you can't help it. You always react to her comments, and she knows it.
"Sev, gonna cum..are you gonna cum with me?" You whine, rocking your hips to meet the intense buzzing of the vibrator. Your clit is nearly numb from the sensation, but it feels so good.
You get no answer, but do not think much of it. You can only imagine a faceless, bodiless woman, cunt stuffed with herself as she struggles to type out her reply because she is on the edge of a cliff. Cute.
Nevertheless, you let yourself go, savoring every wave of pleasure as your cum drips down onto your bedsheets. You're left a quivering, spent mess.
At the same time, Sevika's body arches and her back stretches. She feels the hot pangs of pleasure pulse until it is her own heartbeat that she feels, still rapidly racing, but trying its hardest to come down. She nearly laughs at how carried away you were able to bring her.
iluvgamblingngirls has left a donation of $1,000.
You nearly fall off the bed when you read that. Sevika surely likes to take care of you, huh?
You manage to compose yourself and sit up, turning off the live stream. Sevika almost lets herself feel disappointed before ultimately freezing. An email about a friend request on the camgirl website. A friend request from you.
Sevika is in over her head.
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ladyzephroar · 9 hours ago
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Wait... What? There's actually people saying that there should be a dislike button on AO3? Why? What would the point be outside of dissuading fanfic authors from posting their stories or even continuing a story that they've started?
There's other issues I see with this option as well. A lot of bullying goes on within fandom with authors being catty towards one another. These authors could totally take advantage of this dislike feature to send hordes of their fans to bully and intimidate authors they feel are stealing their thunder out of fandom- and potentially off the writing sites altogether.
There have been fic I've read over the years where I just don't get on with the writing, the plot, the themes of the story (or sometimes lack thereof), and the way the canon are portrayed. If I don't like the story, then I press the back button and move on. Even if such an option existed where a dislike button was present, I would never use it because that is just so cruel.
I was part of Wattpad when they allowed down voting to happen on stories. Not sure if they still do it even though I have an account (for reading purposes, only)- but let me tell you just how detrimental that down-voting system was (still is?). It chased away so many writers because of how misused the feature was. I've heard arguments both for and against the down-voting feature. Apparently, some people viewed it as a form of criticism (Newsflash, it's not)- anybody who is too much of a coward to express their criticisms of a story in words has no business calling themselves a concritter.
And even then, criticism of a story should be worded in a way that is polite and supportive. Down-voting is just so cruel. Adding a dislike feature to sites like FFN and AO3 is cruel and I am glad to see that it has never taken hold even though I have seen arguments for it.
Anyway, this got longer than I expected... It's just, can we please stop treating writing sites like social media platforms? Can we stop making these sites which are meant to be safe spaces for everyone so toxic?
One of the many reasons for why I left Wattpad as a writer was because there is a feature that can be compared to a dislike function. It hurts authors, regardless of their skill level as a writer... and it hurts future writers who are looking at different sites to judge which platform works for them as a writer.
heard someone say archive of our own should install a "dislike" button and I thought I should say this: no, there's absolutely no need for archive of our own to install a "dislike" button.
why? because archive of our own isn't tiktok or youtube or twitter/x where users can monetize their content. archive of our own is a nonprofit site run by fans for fans, which means every content — every fanfic — you see on archive of our own was made out of pure love and passion from the artists/authors.
ao3 authors write because writing about these characters is their happiness and passion. they write for themselves, but they were generous enough to share with you their creations.
they're not "content creators" the way tiktokers or youtubers or instagram models are. they don't "make content" for views and engagements that can be monetized.
so no, you don't get to "grade their works" unless they specifically and directly ask you to.
you don't get to "say what you dislike about their works" unless they specifically and directly ask you to.
you don't get to "dislike" works that are not made specifically to please you in the first place. you're just a guest in someone's house, a house in which they let you in because they were kind, you don't get to roam around their house and say what you dislike about their furniture. you don't get to roam around their house and say you "dislike their house".
of course, you can have your opinion about the house its host invites you in. but if it's a negative one and you find yourself not liking the house, the polite things for you to do is excuse yourself and leave without telling them you dislike their house.
and just because you personally dislike the house doesn't mean the house is "ugly" either. the house you dislike could be a favorite, most luxurious place to many others.
my point is, don't be entitled by wanting the rights to voice your disapproval of things that you get to enjoy for free. don't be entitled by wanting the rights to voice your disapproval of things that were made out of love and passion — things the artists made for themselves for fun.
it makes you look like an entitled jerk with main character syndrome. the universe does not revolve around you.
now repeat after me: don't like don't read. no one forces you to continue reading a fic you don't like. quietly leave instead of being rude to authors who write for free because writing is their source of comfort.
people are so used to contents that were made because it's a trend / contents like tiktok that were made with the main purpose of reaching high engagement and making profits that they forget sometimes things can be made out of love and be made just for fun. sometimes things are supposed to just be for people to enjoy, and if some people don't enjoy them, then they can simply leave without being unnecessary unkind.
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jiminomenon · 3 days ago
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model! karina meets assistant! reader’s family
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pairing: model! karina x assistant! reader
word count: 1k+
summary: when jimin spots y/n laughing with a gorgeous stranger at a café, jealousy flares up, and she wastes no time strutting over to interrupt. armed with sharp remarks and passive-aggressive digs, she’s ready to stake her claim—until she finds out the “stranger” is actually y/n’s younger sister. turns out, y/n’s entire family is in seoul for a visit, and jimin, the reason y/n hasn’t been able to take any time off, suddenly finds herself face-to-face with the people who know y/n best.
from my series: the devil wears prada
a/n: happy valentines to these 2 idiots right here
jimin was not in a good mood.
she had been on her way to grab coffee when she spotted y/n sitting at an outdoor café across the street. that wasn’t the problem—y/n was always running errands, always moving, always working, and somehow, always looking good while doing it.
no, the problem was the girl sitting across from her.
she was pretty. too pretty. and she was laughing—too much, too close, touching y/n’s arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.
jimin hated her instantly.
with a scowl, she marched across the street, her heels clicking against the pavement with purpose. by the time she reached their table, y/n was mid-sentence, her lips curled into a fond smile as the mystery girl giggled at something she had said.
“oh, y/n, you’re so—”
“who’s this?” jimin cut in, sliding smoothly into the conversation as if she had been invited. she rested a hand on y/n’s shoulder, staking her claim before shooting the other girl a not-so-subtle once-over.
y/n blinked, surprised. “jimin?”
jimin ignored her, eyes still locked onto the girl like a cat sizing up a rival. the girl, to her credit, only tilted her head, a bemused smile tugging at her lips.
“uh… hi?” she greeted, offering a polite nod.
“hi,” jimin echoed, though her tone was anything but polite. she shifted slightly, her presence now looming over the table. “you are?”
y/n exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “jimin—”
“i’m lia,” the girl answered easily, unfazed by jimin’s sharp tone. “y/n’s younger sister.”
silence.
jimin froze.
y/n stared.
lia smiled.
“her what?” jimin asked, voice suddenly a touch less confident.
“sister,” y/n repeated, sighing. “you know, family? blood-related? my parents made another one after me?”
jimin’s mouth opened, then closed. then opened again.
lia leaned on her palm, watching jimin’s reaction with clear amusement. “you thought i was her date, didn’t you?”
jimin stiffened. “no.”
y/n and lia exchanged a glance before turning back to her.
“yes, you did,” lia grinned.
jimin huffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she definitely did not sulk. “whatever. doesn’t matter.”
“oh, it definitely does,” lia teased.
y/n, shaking her head, decided to finally put an end to it. “jimin, my family’s in seoul to visit. they wanted to see me, but a certain someone wouldn’t approve my leave request, so now they’re here.” she gave jimin a look, and for once, jimin actually looked guilty.
“…oh,” she muttered.
“yeah,” lia smirked. “oh.”
just as jimin was about to formulate a response—or an escape plan—a voice called from inside the café.
“lia, y/n!”
jimin turned just in time to see a well-dressed couple walking toward them, carrying their drinks. the resemblance to y/n was undeniable.
oh no.
“speak of the devil,” y/n muttered, standing up. “mom, dad.”
jimin straightened so fast that lia almost laughed.
“this must be jimin?” y/n’s mother asked, giving the model a once-over.
“the boss who won’t let y/n take a break?” her father added, raising a brow.
jimin swallowed. “i—”
“jimin, this is my mom and dad,” y/n introduced, shooting her a knowing smirk. “and i’m sure they’d love to hear why their daughter’s been overworked.”
jimin opened her mouth, then shut it again.
lia, fully enjoying this, leaned in and whispered, “good luck, boss.”
jimin had been in many high-pressure situations before—runway debuts, designer fittings, interviews with vogue—but none of them compared to the pressure of sitting across from y/n’s parents.
they weren’t intimidating, exactly, but jimin could feel their eyes analyzing her, sizing her up like a pair of shoes they weren’t sure fit right. y/n, on the other hand, looked far too entertained by the situation, casually sipping her iced coffee like she hadn’t just thrown jimin to the wolves.
“so,” y/n’s father began, adjusting his glasses as he leaned forward. “you’re jimin.”
“i am,” jimin confirmed, keeping her posture straight, dignified.
“the boss who won’t let our daughter take a break,” he added.
jimin barely kept from wincing. “i—”
“to be fair,” lia chimed in, propping her chin on her hand, “y/n does like her job. or, at least, she likes complaining about it. specifically about jimin.”
jimin raised a brow, interest piqued. “oh?”
“lia—” y/n shot her sister a glare, but the younger girl only smirked.
“oh, yeah,” lia continued. “you’re basically all she talks about.”
y/n groaned. “that is not true.”
“really?” jimin hummed, turning to y/n with a teasing smirk. her earlier nerves were fading, replaced with pure amusement. “because if it is, that would explain a lot of things.”
“don’t start,” y/n muttered, glaring.
“what kind of things?” y/n’s mother asked, clearly intrigued.
“well,” jimin drawled, resting her chin on her palm, “she always acts like i’m such a headache, but now i’m wondering if she actually enjoys being around me.”
y/n scoffed. “i don’t—”
“oh, come on,” jimin pressed, now fully enjoying herself. “if i’m all you talk about, that must mean i’m on your mind a lot.”
y/n rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath that sounded a lot like “should’ve left you across the street.”
her mother chuckled, sipping her tea. “you two are quite close, aren’t you?”
“they are,” lia agreed, ever the instigator.
“mm,” y/n’s mother hummed thoughtfully. “y/n talks about you so often that, honestly, we thought you two were dating at first.”
y/n choked on her drink.
“mom—!”
jimin’s smirk widened. “oh, really?” she turned to y/n, voice dripping with amusement. “you talk about me that much?”
“okay, we’re done with this conversation,” y/n declared, standing up so fast her chair scraped against the floor. her ears were red—an adorable contrast to her usual stoic demeanor.
“we’re just saying,” her father chuckled, clearly entertained.
“we’re not dating,” y/n insisted, glaring at her sister, her parents, and—most importantly—jimin, who looked far too pleased with herself.
“pity,” jimin mused, standing as well. she leaned in slightly, lowering her voice just for y/n. “we’d make a great couple.”
y/n huffed, looking away. “come on. you’re paying for my coffee after putting me through this.”
“oh, i’d love to,” jimin grinned, throwing an arm over y/n’s shoulder as they walked toward the counter. “maybe i’ll pay for your love while i’m at it.”
“shut up.”
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pricegouge · 1 day ago
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shovel talk
it's not even six in the morning and yet the shovel grates across the walkway, grit of pebbles beneath its steel edge scraping and catching. it balks in unsteady hands, tries again with another drawn out rasp before meeting the wall of the bank. trembling as it rises, it spills a portion its spare load back across the pavers before being tipped meticulously atop the mountain of snow that runs parallel the walk. she lets the shovel fall carelessly ahead of her and grits her teeth, rises an inch and scoots forward minutely, dragging the cheap lawn chair she's been perched on along by a hand shoved between her knees, gripping the seat. it scrapes just as much as the shovel, heavy with implication. she's not even wearing a proper jacket, just a flannel over a zip up hoodie, the wool weave of her button up already beaded with melted snow.
she looks ornery and mulish, but so are you and you can't just keep walking past.
clear blue eyes turn on you when you call to her, ask if you can help. her hands might shake but her gaze is level, taking you in from head to toe before scooting herself along another inch. "shouldn't be doin' that," she advises, voice croaky in her old age.
"neither should you," you counter, nodding at her makeshift mobility aid. it teeters when she turns to chuckle at you, though she hides it in a cough. stubborn old bat, you can already tell.
"anyway my son will be here soon."
pursing your lips, you look the walk over properly. the poor woman's already done over half of it - how late is the son exactly? but you don't comment on it, step closer when her shovel catches on a shelf of ice instead. "give it here, please," you offer rather diplomatically. she frowns apprehensively but does as told, shuffling her seat back a smidge to give you room to work. it takes a couple tries but you catch the bottom edge of the ice, ply it back and huck it over the bank easily enough. it thunks as it sinks through the snow, a real ice breaker.
"and here i'd pegged you for some soft, sweet thing," she laughs, sheepish.
"must've loosened it for me," you shrug, and turn to finish the walk while she's distracted, laughing herself into a minor coughing fit. "should you go inside?" you offer, unsure if it's a good suggestion seeing as that would leave some strange woman alone on her front lawn.
thankfully she just waves you off as she calms herself down, heavy breaths clouding around her like the smoke that's probably catching up to her. "can't. gotta take credit for your work when my son gets here."
"oh, i see how it is," you snark, and purposefully leave a good quarter inch on the paver, a base level that will freeze solid soon enough and create another sheet of ice for her to struggle with in the future.
she just eyes you, thin eyebrow pulled low on a once-heavy brow. she may be old and frail but it's a sort of sternness that doesn't dull with age and you can only smile to yourself as you fix it. no wonder her son still comes by to help. "he running late?" you ask conversationally, nod up the path where she's already done most of the work by way of explanation when she hmm's at you.
"oh, no. he'll be two hours early, probably. which is why i'm out here three hours early. a woman's got to have her pride, after all."
you nod along as if that's reasonable. "well what's he gonna do when he gets here, then?"
"fix my water heater," she gripes. "say, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
it earns an unladylike snort from you, but you don't think she's the type to mind. "'fraid not."
the stoop is easy enough, just a quick swipe to clean the steps. you note the name above the door with some interest, a misplaced desire to keep tags on her, come back and check maybe. "got any salt, mrs. price?"
she motions you toward the open garage behind her but sticks a hand out for help as you pass. her grip is surprisingly strong on your forearm, the fingers of her other hand digging into your tricep almost cruelly when she uses you to drag herself up. you snatch the lawn chair up before she can even try it, nod toward the garage questioningly.
"next to the overhead, please," she agrees, and you find the bucket of salt right beside it, an empty coffee can already filled and ready for dispensing. when you emerge from the garage, there's a truck parked out front.
"give me that," mrs. price hisses and you jump to find her so close, already snatching the can from your fingers. old bat can still move.
the driver's door creaks when it closes. you can only see the top of a blue beanie from over the roof of it but mrs. price doesn't wait to see him before hollering at her son. "i thought you wouldn't be here until nine!?"
tall and burly with his mother's same stern brow, price junior rounds the corner of his truck and frowns between the two of you."and i thought you didn't like when other people shoveled for you," he counters before tacking on a quick hi pet towards you.
"hi -."
"who's shoveled for me?" she demands, motioning up the walk with another spray of salt. "did this all on my own."
he hums as he comes closer, boots crunching over the thin dusting of snow that still coats the driveway. you sincerely hope mrs. price didn't shovel all that, but judging by the banks that line the drive you suspect a service was likely hired. why they couldn't take an extra two minutes to clear an old lady's walkway you'd never know. you think maybe the son is wondering the same, the way he's inspecting the short stretch critically, but when he opens his mouth it's not at all meant to insult the snow removal service. "you're losing your touch, woman."
you're unsure who's more offended, yourself or his mother. "what's wrong with it?" you blurt, unheeding of the way mrs. price elbows you again.
"i've done a fine job," she supplies, trying to save face.
he just tilts his head at her patronizingly, rocks up onto his toes to appear unnecessarily bigger. "you've forgotten we're expecting more snowfall soon. you'll want to widen the walk to push the banks back, make it easier to shovel out the next storm."
this ass. "well if you'd wanted it done right, you should have shown up on time," you huff, unreasonably defensive of the quick job you'd done.
he's still got that insufferable expression on when he turns to you, but you think you see an edge of something playful glimmering in his clear blue eyes, that same expression his mother had worn when she'd asked if you could perhaps also take his job fixing her water heater. "'on time' would be hours from now," he reminds you. "would you have had this all fixed by then?"
the worst part is, calling him out on the insult would mean admitting you'd done it, and you're suddenly very aligned with this man's mother re: his versus her pride. instead you turn his own words back on him, leaning close to your new friend to ask her if she's going to take that.
she chuckles. "oh, don't mind him. john here's just scared because he knows his job is at risk."
you watch john frown between the two of you, the furrow between his brows deepening in a way which brings you too much pleasure. part of you wants to stay, keep carving away at his pride, but you're now running late for work and you still have a few blocks to walk. "well, it was lovely to meet you, mrs. price," you say with an overly formal shake of her hand.
"pleasure doing business," she agrees with a wry smile. "see you again bright and early next snow storm."
john doesn't budge to let you pass, instead squints down at you in open assessment. you note his cheeks are rosy with the cold and you briefly hope he gets stuck outside fixing the damn walk, cold wind stinging the chapped apples of cheeks which his ridiculous beard doesn't quite cover. they scrunch up when he affects a smile, lend a sort of disarmingly childish quality to the patronizing tone he still can't quite drop. it just pisses you off even more. "didn't actually catch your name," he prompts, gloved hand extended, as if attempting to continue the ruse.
"that's because i didn't give it," you chirp in your best customer service voice. you brush past him when he can only blink in confusion, the contrast between your words and your tone evidently too much for him to process so early in the morning.
"she usually pays me with breakfast if you want to stick around!" he calls after you, far too late to start acting sweet.
you nearly slip in your haste to spin around and fix him with an overly saccharine smile. "oh, i already ate. got here at five," you lie, just to watch his face crumble into genuine concern.
behind him, his mother's thin mouth twists into a cheshire grin and you stumble away before she can solidify any real plans.
too bad she's just as stubborn and ornery as you.
too bad john's worse than both of you.
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pretentious-blonde · 2 days ago
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never second best
pairing: steve harrington x reader
summary: after a run-in with his ex, steve reassures you that you'll never be second best, proving it in a way he knows will stick
warnings: 18+ this is smut, graphic depictions of sex, p in v, oral (f receiving), tears, insecurity
a/n: part 5 but can be read as a standalone. half of this is super long, pure filth, AND my first time writing smut so pls feedback is welcome. thank you @andvys so so much, hopefully, i didn't let you down <3
series masterlist
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Steve perched on the edge of his neatly-made bed, hair painstakingly combed into that signature swoop, the red knit jumper hugging his broad shoulders just so. The sleeves are pushed up to reveal his forearms—a look he recently realised drives you a little wild, and one he now makes an effort to wear often. 
He liked to catch you staring. 
He’s wearing his go-to faded jeans, and every time he glances your way, his eyes take on a softer appearance. You’ve already spent some time in his room before, but every time he sees you there, he still can’t believe you’re in his space.
He’s trying—really trying—not to grin too widely. If he breaks into the excited smile he’s been fighting all morning, he worries he might come off too eager. But truth be told, he is too eager. Hosting Dustin’s birthday party is one thing, but now he has the honour of introducing you to everyone. Officially. 
He’s practically bursting at the chance to show you off, the very thought turned his mind all giddy. Knowing that you would be the one with his arm around your waist for everyone to witness. 
The idea distracted him from the real drama occurring not four feet away from him. 
From your spot by the mirror, you can see him watching you, and it sets your stomach off again. You’re not sure why today feels so monumental. You’ve met Dustin in passing, shared a few laughs with Robin over coffee after she basically saved your relationship a few weeks back.
But tonight is the full show. Everyone. All at once. And for some reason, your carefully chosen outfit no longer feels quite right. You tug the hem of your top self-consciously, tilt your head, and scrunch your nose at your reflection.
“I look awful,” you say, voice laced with the sort of frustration that’s all nerves. “This looked so much better in my head.”
His brow furrows, and he pushes off the bed in a single fluid motion. “That’s nonsense,” he replies, crossing the room to you in three quick strides. He rests his hands lightly on your shoulders, gaze flicking to meet yours in the mirror. "You look beautiful, sweetheart. Always do. You know that."
You huff out a breath, trying not to get lost in the warmth of his praise—easier said than done.
“No, I don’t,” you insist, staring critically at your clothes. “I should’ve brought something else.”
“Well��do you have anything else here?” He asks gently.
There were little traces of you scattered around—a few forgotten items here and there, most notably, the new toothbrush sitting beside his. Still, nine times out of ten, you took your clothes home, leaving behind only your pajamas.
“A set of pajamas.” You sigh dramatically, cursing yourself for not packing more than one option. “That’s about it.”
“Hey, that could work,” he teases, eyes crinkling with amusement. “That’s one of my favourite looks on you.” His hands slide down your arms, his grin growing as he watches your reaction.
Under normal circumstances you would lean into his teasing, but this was not the time. You turn to give him a shove, but he catches your wrist before it can make an impact.
“Steve,” you whine, trying to see the humour in this the way he is.
“What? I’m just being honest,” he says, eyes dancing. “Would you rather I lie?” 
Truth is, he does love you in those pajamas—almost as much as he loves you wearing his old shirts. Honestly, you could throw on a trash bag, and he’d still think you’re stunning.
“Please stop,” you groan.
You’re not smiling the way you usually do at his jokes—no little giggle, no playful roll of the eyes. 
The shift clicks for him: you’re actually stressed. 
Concern crosses his features, and the jovial edge in his voice softens. He lowers his tone, warmth flowing through each word, and slides his hands down to cradle your waist.
“Alright,” he murmurs, thumbs drawing gentle circles against your hips. “Talk to me. What’s not working here?”
“I don’t know,” you admit, exhaling as you sink into him. “I just feel… unprepared. I mean, I’m meeting everyone. Should I have brought something? I should’ve baked. Everyone likes baked goods.”
A breathy chuckle escapes him, and he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 
Like you’re not already sweet enough.
“Angel, Robin is bringing the cake. And you”—he squeezes your waist a little firmer—“are a guest here. Your only job is to relax and look pretty. Can you do that for me? Please?”
The earnestness in his voice steals the protest right out of your throat. You look up at him, heart thumping in that heady way it does whenever he turns on the charm full-blast. 
Damn those big, stupid brown eyes. 
You turn back to the mirror, pulling at your shirt once again. There’s a crease here, a wrinkle there—things no one else would ever notice, but to you, it’s just off. You can feel his eyes on you, his concern and affection practically radiating from behind. 
He’s been so excited, so patient, and yet you can’t shake the last bit of anxiety churning in your stomach about today.
In the reflection, you watch him hover, trying to be casual even though you can see every thought flit across his expressive face. He wants you to be happy and comfortable. He wants to show you off and make sure you feel like a million bucks doing it.
“Can I wear something of yours?” you ask softly, turning to meet those wide, hopeful eyes. “I want something more comfortable.”
Comfortable.
His heart practically leaps at your request. He’s not sure why that single sentence sends a jolt of excitement through him, but it does—and it’s powerful. He tries to school his expression into something normal, but the eager beam that spreads across his face betrays him.
“Absolutely,” he says far too quickly, glad to be of use. “Knock yourself out. Have at it—any one you want.”
He opens the wardrobe, stepping aside like he’s unveiling some prized collection. You slip past him, still self-conscious, but the warm brush of his hand on your lower back comforts you. 
Leafing through the soft fabrics, you finally find one that matches the rest of your outfit—a cosy, oversized number that’s equally stylish and undeniably Steve’s. You hold it up, glancing back at him for approval.
He grins—big, unabashed. “Fantastic choice,” he declares, in an exaggeratedly formal tone meant to make you laugh.
It works—you giggle. The sound washes over him like a balm, chasing away the worry in his eyes. 
He lives for that sound.
Then, your focus shifts back to the mirror. You pull off your shirt in one smooth motion, baring your bra and the long, graceful stretch of your spine. 
The air feels cooler against your newly exposed skin, and you instantly sense the spark of awareness coming from the boy behind you.
He goes still. A part of him wants to look away, to be respectful, yet he can’t stop his eyes from drifting along the curve of your waist and the softness just above your navel.
He’s had the privilege of touching your bare skin before—tentative, lingering caresses that never ventured too far. He’s wanted more, of course he has. He’s human—he’s got a pulse. 
But you deserve slow. You deserve a careful pace, no pressure. He’d beat himself up about it for weeks if he even thought he made you uncomfortable.
But that didn’t stop his mind from running. 
He wanted to trail his fingertips down every inch of your body, to feel you melt under his touch. Imagining the way you’d arch into his palms, voice breathless as it tickled his ear, egging him on. Images of pressing you up against the mirror, sliding his hands across your hips, your ribs, your chest, discovering every inch he’s been dying to explore. 
He tears his eyes away, cheeks heating at his own explicit thoughts. 
You slide his jumper over your head, letting the fabric fall into place. Instantly, you’re enveloped in the faint smell of him: cologne, fabric softener, a hint of hairspray. 
You turn, a playful, knowing smirk on your face, you catch the flush on his cheeks—his pupils slightly dilated, his posture taut with the effort of keeping his hands to himself.
“More comfortable?” he asks, managing a wobbly smile.
“Yeah,” you smooth the jumper over your sides, nodding. “Much better.”
A smile spreads slowly across his face, relief flooding his features. He steps closer, gently adjusting the jumper on your shoulders, as if making sure you’re perfectly bundled in his warmth. His knuckles skim your collarbone, the gesture sends a pleasant shiver through you.
“Good,” he murmurs. In the silence that follows, you can almost hear the unspoken thoughts swirling behind his eyes. He drops his hands, brushes a quick kiss to your temple, and lets out a breath. “Come on, let’s get downstairs before the others barge in. The peace isn’t gonna last once the party kicks off.”
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The house was buzzing with the kind of kinetic energy that made the walls hum. You can feel it reverberating through the soles of your feet the moment you step back into the living room. The cosy space was adorned with colourful streamers and a Happy Birthday! banner—Dustin’s own insistence, of course.
Steve had nearly suffered a heart attack watching you put it up single-handedly earlier, bursting into the room just in time to steady the wobbling chair beneath you.
I mean, Jesus, were you trying to take years off his life?
You had been blissfully unaware of the impending disaster, balancing precariously as if gravity was a suggestion. 
He had been right there. You could have asked for help. But no—apparently, terrifying him was just part of the fun.
None of that mattered now the party was in full swing, chatter overlapping, laughter weaving in and out of a sweetly melancholic track Max had just dropped onto the record player.
He had introduced you with obvious pride, making sure to state—loud and clear—that you were his girlfriend. Watching you greet everyone with a tender smile. His attention lingered on each reaction, quietly noting how they took in the girl he was lucky enough to call his.
It felt like unveiling a winning hand in a game he never expected to play so well—like holding onto something rare and knowing, deep down, that he’d beaten the odds.
You quickly spot your host—your boyfriend—hovering near the stereo console, running a hand through his hair, trying to appear unruffled while Max and Lucas sift through his precious vinyls. And in typical Steve fashion, failing at appearing calm, because he can’t quite hide his grin when he sees you looking. 
From across the room, he gives you a gentle wave, checking that you’re still alright. His eyes stay on you as you maneuver around the coffee table and dodge a crumb-strewn plate that might have once held cake but now looks suspiciously empty.
“Hey,” he greets, sliding an arm around your waist the second you’re within reach. His hand settles warm and comforting at your side, fingertips lightly pressing into the soft fabric of the borrowed sweater. 
“Hey yourself,” you reply, leaning into the contact without a second thought.
He seems to shine in a way you haven’t seen before. Surrounded by the people he calls family, he’s the best version of himself, brimming with confidence and a natural leadership that emerges when he’s trying to make sure everyone else is okay. 
You see it in the way he’s just handed Max the next record she was eyeing (despite complaining it’s not appropriate music for a birthday party), the way he’s offered Dustin a refill on his drink twice in the last ten minutes, and the way his entire face softens whenever he looks at you.
You hear Will’s loud gasp behind you—apparently, Jonathan just teased him about some underground album you had never heard of. The brown-haired boy claps a hand on his brother’s shoulder, spinning him into an ongoing argument about what to play next. 
Meanwhile, Robin’s perched on the arm of the couch, describing some comedic fiasco at work with her trademark flair for dramatics. You catch only snippets—something about a misfiled horror movie in the kids’ section, a frantic parent demanding a refund, and Steve heroically stepping in to salvage the day.
He rolls his eyes at that particular story, mouth curving in a half-smile. “She’s gonna exaggerate it,” he mutters to you, “just watch.”
You grin, nudging him gently. “Hey, maybe it’ll make you look good.”
“What, me saving the day?” He shakes his head. “Sweetheart, I already look great,” he says in a faux-arrogant tone, then immediately flushes when he realises how that might’ve sounded. But you know him well enough to catch the joking glint in his eye, so you laugh.
“C’mon, Steve,” comes a voice from the left—Nancy, stepping forward with a cautious smile. Her hair is pinned back, a few strands framing her face, and she looks surprisingly at ease despite the chaos around her. “Give yourself some credit. You’re basically running a daycare every shift the amount of times the kids are there,” she teases, though her tone is warm, not biting.
“Yeah, well, if it keeps me from being bored outta my mind, guess it’s worth it.” He snorts.
You shift, letting Nancy into the conversation fully. She meets your gaze with an inviting smile, and it strikes you how nice she is. 
Steve had mentioned her coming, and at first, it rubbed you the wrong way. Not in a dramatic, soap-opera kind of way, but in that small discomfort that settled in your stomach before you could talk yourself out of it.
You didn’t want to be that person—the one who couldn’t handle a little shared history, who needed their partner to rewrite the past just to make the present more comfortable. But still, the thought sat with you longer than you liked.
Steve had noticed, of course. He was too perceptive when it came to you, reading the tension in your jaw before you even had the words to explain it. So he reassured you—gently, patiently, with that soft-eyed sincerity he always had when something really mattered.
Without hesitation, he’d offered to uninvite her. But you shook your head because that wasn’t fair. If they were all part of the same friend group, who were you to come in and break it apart? Nancy was part of his history, but that didn’t mean she had to be an issue in his future.
And if he could move forward without looking over his shoulder, then so could you.
She was not the intimidating figure you’d somewhat imagined— the girl he had cared about so deeply in the past. Instead, she’s approachable, her eyes bright with curiosity as she acknowledges you.
“Hi,” she says, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think we’ve had a real chance to talk yet. I’m Nancy.” She offers her hand, and you take it, noticing the gentle, firm shake.
“It’s really nice to finally meet you properly.” You tell her, giving your name in return. “Steve’s told me a bit about you.”
She arches a brow at him, a playful glint there. “All good things, I hope?”
“Nothing but the best.” He raises both hands, half-defensive. 
She laughs quietly, then turns that inquisitive gaze back to you.
“So, I heard you’re, um… you work in—”
“Journalism,” you supply with a small nod. “It’s not as glamorous as it sounds, but I really like it. Kinda took your place at the Hawkins Post.” You joke. “They treat me a lot better now though. It’s not anything huge, but I get to read new articles, help shape them a bit, get the occasional coffee run… it’s fun and sometimes totally insane.”
Steve leans in, beaming with pride. 
It had gotten easier—less and less often did you show up at his house on the verge of tears after a shift. Turns out, grown men get pretty uncomfortable when you call them out on their bullshit directly. And damn, was he proud when they finally started taking you seriously.
He always knew they would. You’re a smart girl, after all.
“She’s underselling it.” He says, without the slightest bit of shame, gently nudging your shoulder. “She’s great at what she does.” 
“That sounds so much better than when I was there.” She shakes her head, reminiscing about her experiences. “I still do a lot of writing myself. I’m working at a local paper in Massachusetts right now.”
Something about her tone clicks into place for you, like a puzzle piece sliding in. 
“Right, Steve mentioned. You like it?”
“Yeah. It’s… challenging, to say the least.” She nods, crossing her arms loosely. “Still a small paper, still small stories. But I’m building my portfolio, hoping to maybe do bigger pieces eventually.” 
A warm sense of camaraderie blooms in your chest. You completely understand that hustle, that feeling of needing to push through the drudge work to get to the fulfilling stuff. 
“Oh, absolutely,” you say. “I used to think I’d be working on these huge headlines right off the bat, but it was mostly basic editing work. Still,” you add, “I’m kind of a sucker for persevering.”
Her eyes crinkle with a real smile, and for a moment, it’s just you two, connecting over the rollercoaster that is words. 
“I know exactly what you mean. It’s exciting to be at the start of something, you know?”
“Makes the early mornings and late evenings worth it,” you tease, and she laughs. 
This was easier than you thought.
The conversation flows so smoothly that you almost forget the context—that this is Steve’s ex you’re talking to, that the only reason you even worried about her presence was because of that shared history. But here she is: easy to talk to, friendly, and—if you’re honest—reminding you a bit of yourself in how she lights up when discussing her work. You could understand how Steve fell for her in the first place. 
And that’s when it happens: Dustin bounces by with a half-eaten cake slice, eyes going wide as he sees you and Nancy chatting. He glances between you, leans in—crumbs falling from his mouth as he finishes eavesdropping. 
“Whoa, you guys are so alike.”
“Took you long enough to notice.” Erica chuckles, passing behind him.
Steve nearly chokes on air. “Excuse me?”
“I told you—” Dustin smirks at Steve, “both super nice, pushy in a good way, and way too into all that reportage stuff.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Patterns, man. I see them.”
Nancy, amused, shakes her head but doesn’t deny it. Meanwhile, you feel a curious prickle in your stomach. 
Even though you haven’t felt threatened by Nancy at all, it’s… interesting, hearing Dustin phrase it that way, noting how similar the two of you are.
Before you can dwell on it, Steve is in full damage control mode, waving Dustin away. 
“All right, all right, that’s enough outta you, birthday boy.”
Dustin, unbothered, snickers, then scampers off to deposit his napkin onto Jonathan’s pile of party rubbish. You catch Nancy’s eye, and she looks like she wants to say something, but a flush of colour creeps across her cheeks instead. You wonder if she’s embarrassed at the topic or if she’s also noting how the conversation just positioned you and her in the same category.
“Anyway,” Nancy says softly, clearing her throat, “it was really nice talking to you. And I do want to chat more about writing. Would be great if our paths were to cross again.”
“Sure. ” You nod, smiling. “Anytime.”
She dips her head in a polite goodbye, departing to rescue Mike from an argument with Lucas. That leaves you and Steve standing there in the aftermath of Dustin’s remarks.
“Uh… sorry about that,” he mumbles, glancing down at you. “Dustin’s always been, like, embarrassingly direct.”
A wry smile tugs at your lips. “It’s okay. I’m not offended.”
The evening drifts into its final hours with a soft sun lingering in the corners of Steve’s living room windows. Most of the balloons have deflated a little, and the noise has died down into pockets of lingering conversation. 
Dustin’s boisterous laugh echoes one last time as he heads out the door, hauling an armful of presents. Max trails behind him with the rest of the kids, carrying a few he couldn’t manage. She pauses to give you a small nod and a grin—her quiet way of saying, I like you.
You thought at first she was a tad standoffish, but her actions made you feel accepted into the small group. And if they approve of you, that's a sign that maybe you do belong here, in this makeshift family. 
Not that you’re getting ahead of yourself or anything…
Robin departs next, hooking her arm through Erica’s at the last second to drag her into some half-joking conversation about finally getting a break from babysitting Steve. Which she wholeheartedly agreed with, even if she was multiple years his junior. 
Nancy laughs, glancing your way as if to share the humour, and you wave goodbye with a soft smile. Jonathan, her hand in his, offers you a polite nod. They looked so in sync, bodies unconsciously angled toward each other, moving as a unit. There’s no tension, no leftover drama—just two people who found their other half. 
The thought made you more anxious than relieved. 
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When the door finally shuts, the hush that falls over the house is unsettling. You can still hear the faint crackle of the record player, the needle resting in a quiet groove before you switched it off. Now, there’s just the quiet clink of dishes in the kitchen and the soft hum of Steve’s voice—he’s singing along to the old radio as he stacks up the glasses. He told you he had it under control, and knowing you didn’t like the feeling of leftover food in the sink, he took this job for the team.
You’re left gathering discarded wrappers and balled-up napkins, your mind spiraling in circles you really don’t want to follow but couldn’t help yourself.
Nancy is lovely. Infuriatingly so. 
In fact, she was so kind, so pleasant, that it almost stings more than if she’d been cold. Because it means you can’t hate her. Not that it was your goal to do so, but you couldn’t just dismiss her as some memory in Steve’s past. 
She was right for him once, and the knowledge of how closely her life aligns with yours—similar ambitions, the same drive for success, the spark of curiosity—makes your throat feel tight.
What if Steve also sees her in you? What if every moment you thought was unique and special was just him trying to relive something he used to have with her?
You can’t stand the idea, but the rational side of your brain doesn’t seem to be cooperating. 
Steve isn’t cruel. You know that. 
He’s never been anything but considerate, thoughtful, patient with you. Hell, the amount of times he was there for you—without hesitation, without needing to be asked. Holding your hand when you were nervous, pressing a kiss to your temple when you overthought, making you laugh when you wanted to cry.
He had never once made you feel like an afterthought. He was all in. And yet, the thought gnawed at you—was he here because he chose you, or because he was still reaching for a shadow of the past? Was he even aware he was chasing her ghost?
Your fingers tighten around a crumpled paper plate, and you swallow against the lump forming in your throat. You wonder if you really are just a Nancy 2.0 as you step into the kitchen, tossing the rubbish in the bin and retreating back to the now clean living room. Not wanting to talk to him just yet. 
The water stops running, the tap squeaking as Steve turns it off. You hear him dry his hands on a dish towel, then he appears in the doorway, face lighting up for a moment—until he sees your expression.
“Finished in the kitchen,” he starts, voice warm and a little proud, then pauses. “...What’s wrong?”
He settles beside you on the couch, the cushions dipping under his weight. Your shoulders tense a little—his proximity normally soothes you, but tonight, your mind won’t quiet down, and every small gesture feels magnified. He notices immediately.
“Nothing,” you say, forcing a small, tight smile. “I really liked your friends. They’re all super sweet. I can see why you get along so well.”
“Oh yeah?” There’s a warmth in his tone, a hopeful rise.
You nod, dropping your eyes to your hands. He slides closer, until his knee brushes against yours. 
“You even got Erica to like you,” he points out, sounding genuinely impressed. “It took me weeks to win her over, and you waltz in and manage it in a few hours? So not fair.”
You can’t help the soft laugh that escapes. “I’m sure she’s just being polite.”
A quick scoff breaks from Steve’s throat. “Erica doesn’t do polite unless she means it.” He places his hand lightly on your arm, and despite the tension coiled in your chest, you feel a rush of affection at the contact. “No, seriously—I loved having you here, angel. Made the whole day so much better.”
“Really?” you ask, voice wavering just enough that he picks up on your uncertainty.
“Well, yeah,” he answers, brow creasing. “I’m just glad they didn’t scare you off.”
Your lips form a weak smile. “Oh, they didn’t.”
But there’s something about your tone—some waver you can’t quite hide—and his eyes sharpen. 
“Okay, spill,” he says, leaning in. “What’s going on?”
“Huh?” You try to keep your expression neutral, but his gaze pins you.
“I know you,” he insists, a furrow carving between his brows. “You’re stressed about something.”
“I’m so not,” you counter, folding your arms tight against your chest.
“Yeah, you are,” he replies, undeterred. “You have tells.”
“Tells?” you echoed.
“Yes, tells.” He shifts forward, voice low. “So tell me—what’s on your mind? Did someone say something? Because I swear to god—”
“Steve,” you cut him off, irritation sparking. “Nobody said anything.”
“Then what is it? Was I too much? I swear I just wanted people to know how much I—”
“Steve,” you say again, louder this time, frustration rolling through you in a hot wave. “I’m fine. Drop it.”
His expression crumples the instant your sharp tone slices through the air. It’s like someone yanked the rug out from under him, and he sits there, quiet and unsure, those warm eyes losing some of their usual shine. It kills you to see him look so hurt, and you can practically feel the guilt creeping up your spine.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs at last, voice soft and almost hesitant. “You… you don’t have to come to the next one. If it wasn’t fun, or if it was too much—”
“That’s not it,” you say, cutting him off. You watch the confusion linger on his face, and it only makes the ache in your chest worse. 
He just wanted to have a good time, to share his world with you. 
And now here you are, turning what seemed like a perfect day into something heavy and complicated.
“Then—what?” His shoulders sag. “I don’t know what else could’ve gone wrong.” His gaze flits over your features, looking for answers you haven’t yet spoken.
You swallow, steeling yourself. 
“It was just… Nancy.”
“Nancy?” Steve’s eyes widen in surprise. “I thought you two got along really well tonight.”
“Yeah,” you admit, speaking around the lump in your throat. “We did.”
He pushes a breath through his nose, like he’s sifting through every possible explanation and coming up empty.
“I thought you’d, I don’t know, bond over books or something. I mean, I know you were anxious before, but you’re both so… nice. She’s already with Jonathan, you’ve got me—”
“Steve.” You cut him off again, trying not to let your voice waver. “We’re similar. That’s the problem.”
He blinks. “What d’you mean?” His tone is gentle, even though you see the concern in his eyes.
You rake a hand through your hair, fighting for the right words. He shifts forward, bracing himself.
“Steve, we’re really similar,” you say at last, voice low. 
“Okay?” He nods, urging you to continue. “So you have some shared interests. Where are we going with this, sweetheart?”
A shaky breath escapes you, and you force yourself to look him in the eye. 
“Are you sure you’re not still… looking for her?”
He frowns, confused. “Looking for her? I don’t—”
“Yes, Steve. Searching for someone like Nancy because you couldn’t have her. Like I’m just the next best thing. Even the kids picked up on how alike we are.” Your voice cracks, and you hate how vulnerable you sound. “I don’t want to be some bullshit replacement, filling up the space she left behind.”
All it takes is that one word—bullshit—and the floor drops out beneath him. 
You’re looking at him, voice trembling with hurt, and the realisation that you think you’re not enough guts him. Because he knows that feeling too well. He’s been there, on the other end, wondering if he was any good for anyone. But this? This is a thousand times worse. Because it’s you—and if there’s one thing in this world he’s certain of, it’s you.
He can’t stand the heartbreak in your eyes. Can’t stand the idea that he might be the one making you feel that way. His mind scrambles for something, anything, that might put your mind at ease—words to counteract that awful notion of being not enough. 
Then, suddenly, clarity strikes. He can’t think of anything else but to go full-force, stern, direct, because you’re far too precious for soft reassurances that could be mistaken or ignored.
“Hey,” he says, voice firm enough to startle even himself, “listen to me and listen to me good, all right?”
He can see how shocked you are at the tone he’s using; you go still, your gaze locking on him in a way that assures him every word will sink in. It has to.
“Never—and I mean never—are you some kind of half-ass replacement. You hear me? So get that thought out of your head right now.”
He’s never spoken to you quite like this before, but desperation thrums under every syllable. 
I can’t lose you. Please believe me.
“I don’t care how long it takes or how many times I have to say it—you are not second place. You are not a replacement. I didn’t settle for you, I chose you. You think I’d waste my time with someone I didn’t want wholeheartedly?”
He asks the question as though there’s no logical answer except the truth: Of course he wouldn’t. And he can’t stop now; your silence pushes him to continue. He needs you to know.
“God, if you could see yourself the way I do, you’d never think this again. You would never doubt how much I love you. How stupidly lucky I feel every day just to have you. You are not some ghost of my past. You are my future. And nothing—no one—could ever change that.”
There’s a ringing in his ears from the intensity of his own words, and he breathes hard, every muscle coiled with tension. Your eyes are wide, shining with an emotion he can’t decipher—shock, relief, maybe both. He hopes to God his message got through.
And then—amid the silence—your voice comes out soft, almost a whisper. 
“You love me?”
The question slices through him like lightning. He falters, suddenly off-balance. 
Fuck.
Because he’s just laid bare his entire heart, more than he’s ever dared to before. But there’s no taking it back. No gentle way to hedge now.
“Yes.” He swallows. His voice is steadier than he feels inside. “I do... Simple as that.”
That was all it took.
The words barely leave his mouth before you surge forward, meeting him in a kiss that’s all teeth and tongue, messy and urgent, the taste of each other a heady mix of relief and need. 
He gasps when you grip the collar of his sweater, tugging him closer, refusing to let a single breath of space linger between you. In response, his hands slide down your waist, pulling you tight against him until he can feel every curve, every line of your body against his.
“God,” he rasps against your mouth, already sounding relieved. “You—fuck.”
You hum a soft, breathy laugh escapes as he hauls you closer, helping you out as you sit and straddle his lap. His mouth is trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your throat as you sink your fingers into his hair, tugging, making him hiss against your lips.
He’s so desperate he doesn’t know where to touch first—fingers skimming over the curve of your hip, the dip of your waist, sliding boldly beneath the hem of your—his—jumper to feel the heat of your skin. 
Everything about you feels like an invitation, a promise he’s craved for far too long. And each gasp, each little whimper you give him, only fuels that growing ache inside of him.
“Steve,” you whisper, voice cracking with urgency. He glances up, eyes dark, pupils blown. There’s something unbridled there—devotion, longing, raw determination to make sure you never doubt him again.
He pulls you closer, one hand curling around your waist, the other sliding around to grip your ass, pulling you flush against the growing hardness in his jeans. 
Then, as though a last spark of caution flickers through his brain, he stills, pulling back just enough to look at you—really look, eyes darting between yours. There’s a flush high on his cheeks, lips reddened from your kisses. But behind that is a tenderness, a protective streak that roars beneath his surface need.
“Tell me you want this,” he says, voice so low it practically reverberates through your chest. He needs to hear you say it. Needs to hear you tell him it’s alright. “I want to make sure you’re positive, because I—I want this more than anything—to show you, to make you feel so fucking good, but…”
You let out a noise that’s both a laugh and a moan. 
“Steve,” you repeat, more breathless this time. “I want this. I want you. Please.”
He groans, eyes squeezing shut. Thank God. 
“Shit, you have no idea how long I’ve—” He takes a breath as he shudders against you, every nerve ending on fire. “Angel—fuck—wait, just a sec.”
You blink, momentarily dazed. “What—did I do something?”
He just about melts at the concerned look you’re giving him, hands immediately cupping your face as he presses his mouth against yours as he mutters reassurances. 
“No, sweetheart. You didn’t—you’re perfect.” He wills his brain to formulate a coherent sentence. Easier said than done when he has you sitting on his lap. “But, if I’m going to make love to you, I’m not going to do it on the living room couch.”
A glint sparks in his eyes, but there’s nothing playful about the way he suddenly gathers you up into his arms, hands cupping beneath your thighs, hoisting you effortlessly against his chest as he stands. Your squeal of surprise echoes in the now-quiet house as you cling to his shoulders, heart pounding.
You laugh out his name and his only response is to tighten his hold on you, a grin tugging at his kiss-swollen lips, before he turns and starts up the stairs, carrying you like you weigh nothing. 
Your arms wrap around his neck, your lips brushing the line of his jaw, and his low groan vibrates in your ear, spurring him to climb faster.
He kicks the bedroom door open with his foot, all too eager to finally have you in his arms, in his bed. He sets you down on the edge of the mattress, his hands lingering at your hips as though he can’t bear to lose contact. 
You’re about to tease him for being so careful, but the sight of him—flushed cheeks, hair a disheveled mess from your fingers, lips reddened—steals the quip from your tongue.
“You okay?” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. As urgent as he feels, there’s that undercurrent of protectiveness, that need to check you’re here with him for all the right reasons.
Your smile is a little breathless. “I’m more than okay.”
He exhales slowly, like your reassurance is the only permission he needed to keep going. Then he nudges your knees apart so he can step in closer, pressing your bodies flush. The warmth of him is addictive—solid arms, broad chest, that steady heartbeat thrumming beneath your palms.
A shiver runs down your spine when he bends to brush a slow kiss along the side of your throat, teeth just barely grazing your skin. Your head falls back, and he uses the moment to trail more kisses along your jaw, your collarbone, mapping the curve of your shoulder as if memorising every inch.
“Lie down for me,” he whispers, voice trembling with the effort it takes to keep it gentle.
You slide back onto the bed, propping yourself on your elbows, and he kneels near the edge, guiding your legs up so you’re fully on the bed. His hand glides beneath your clothes, pushing it slowly upward, knuckles skimming the bare skin of your waist. His gaze locks with yours as he slips it off over your head, making sure you’re still okay with each inch of exposed skin. You can’t help the small, playful grin that tugs at your lips. 
“Careful, Harrington,” you tease, breath hitching when he plants a soft kiss at the center of your sternum. “At this rate, it’ll be sunrise before you get these clothes off.”
He huffs a little laugh against your skin, the warm puff of air sending a tingle racing across your flesh. 
“You deserve careful,” he says, words muffled by the increasingly desperate kisses he’s leaving along the tops of your breasts, your clavicle. “But don’t think for a second I’m not dying to tear everything off you, angel.”
His fingers drift to the waistband of your jeans, undoing the button and zipper with a focus that makes your stomach flip. He eases them down your hips, helping you lift so he can slide them all the way off. Then, with a featherlight touch, he glides his hands up your thighs, sending sparks of electricity racing through you.
“Steve,” you breathe, voice catching when he leans down to kiss your newly bared skin. He starts at your calf, working his way leisurely up, each press of his lips driving you a little bit more insane. By the time he reaches your inner thigh, you’re trembling—desperate for him.
“Look at you,” he coos, voice shaking with something close to awe. His fingers slide along the band of your underwear, and he gently pulls them down, letting them join your jeans on the floor. With each inch, he leaves more of you uncovered, and the intensity in his gaze leaves you feeling bare in more ways than one.
You try to close your legs, feeling slightly exposed with the way he is gazing at you, but his hand is firm as it grips your thigh, holding you open. You hold your breath as his fingers skim over your folds, head falling back as his thumb circles your clit slowly. 
“Shit,” he breathes out, second hand joining to gather some of your wetness on his fingers. “You’re fuckin’ soaked, angel.”
“Steve,” you murmur, voice quivering with need. Your fingers thread into his hair, urging him closer, your body already winding tight from the warmth of his breath against you.
“God,” he mutters, words muffled by another kiss to your thigh. “I’ve wanted this—wanted to do this—for so damn long.”
He shifts, situating himself more comfortably. Then, with a half-lidded glance in your direction, he leans in and presses his mouth against your clit in a way that shatters every remaining thought in your head. 
A soft cry tumbles from your lips, and he groans at the sound, pulling you in deeper, his grip on your thighs tightening.
He moves carefully, learning your reactions, letting your gasps and moans guide him. Each flick of his tongue, each gentle suck, is a question: Is this good? More? Show me. And every time you arch your back or let out a ragged whisper of his name, he answers with another fervent, deliciously slow pass of his mouth.
"Fuck, angel, I could do this all night.” He dives back in. “Keep you here, keep you shaking over and over on my tongue."
He’s so tender in his insistence, balancing the sharp edge of hunger with a profound concern for your pleasure. One of his hands slides up to lace your fingers together, and he squeezes—almost like he’s grounding himself in the moment, sharing each pulse of sensation so you know he’s right there with you. The other hand strokes up your thigh and curls around your hip, keeping you anchored against him.
“Oh, God,” you gasp, voice pitching higher when he drags his tongue across your pussy with a pointed languidness. Your thighs tighten around his shoulders, and he shudders, his fingers reflexively pressing into your skin.
He pauses just long enough to rest his forehead against your thigh, breathing hard. His voice comes out in a low rasp, intense in its sincerity. 
“You taste so fucking good,” he mumbles dazed as he returns to his ministrations. Lapping against you like he couldn’t possibly get enough. 
A wave of warmth crashes over you at his words—any lingering insecurities vanish beneath the heat of his devotion. You tug lightly at his hair, guiding him back, and he happily obliges. His tongue moves in slow, deliberate strokes at first, building you up in a dizzying ascent, then quickens when your moans become urgent.
Your heels dig into his back, and you choke out something unintelligible—his name, a plea, a broken sob of bliss. He groans in response, the sound reverberating through your entire body, heightening the sensation until you think you might shatter from it. 
There’s something almost reverent in how thorough he is, like he wants to memorise every reaction, every hitch of your breath.
“You’re making the sweetest fucking noises, baby.” He murmurs. “Driving me insane.”
Tension coils in your stomach, winding tighter with each measured flick of his tongue. Your grip on his hand is borderline crushing, but he just grins against you, absolutely thrilled by the desperation in your touch. 
That’s all the encouragement he needs to push you closer and closer to the edge. His name tumbles from your lips again, a breathless entreaty, and he groans, the vibration sending sparks skittering across your skin.
He can tell you’re close—he can feel it in the way your hips jerk, the way your pussy clenches, the way your voice climbs. And he wants it for you, wants to be the reason you come apart so completely that you’ll never doubt his devotion again. 
“Come on, sweetheart, I’ve got you,” before diving back in with a perfect, rhythmic swirl that makes your entire body tense.
The tension snaps. A rush of pleasure bursts inside you, and you let out a cry that would embarrass you if you could think about anything but the ecstasy roaring through your veins. 
Your hands grip his shoulders, nails biting into his skin, and he moans like the taste of your release is exactly what he’s been dying for. He works you through every pulse, every aftershock, with gentle flicks of his tongue until you’re quivering in oversensitivity, pushing lightly at his head to let him know you can’t take another second.
When he finally straightens up to see you—lying back against his pillows, clad in just your bra—you spot a flicker of pure hunger crossing his face. He swallows hard and you see your release glistening against his chin as he does. He’s trying to keep himself tethered to sanity, but it’s a losing battle.
“Not fair that I’m the only one so… exposed,” you breathe out, hooking a finger into the hem of his jumper.
 “Impatient, huh?” He lets out a shaky chuckle as he licks his lips.
You roll your eyes in faux annoyance, tugging firmly at the fabric. He gets the hint. In one smooth motion, he yanks his shirt over his head and tosses it somewhere behind him. You catch a glimpse of toned arms and the lean planes of his chest, and it steals your breath all over again.
But he’s not done—he pops open the button of his jeans, sliding them down until they pool at his ankles, stepping out with a sense of urgency that has you biting your lip. For a moment, he just stands there, letting you take in the sight of him, hair messy, eyes blown wide with desire, wearing only his boxers.
“Better?” he asks, eyebrows lifting.
You drag your gaze up and down, unrepentant in your ogling. “Much.”
Steve’s eyes glitter with raw need as he hovers over you, his body pressed so tight you can hardly breathe. Every breath you take is steeped in the mix of his cologne and the sweet, desperate scent of your own arousal. 
“God, you’re so fuckin’ gorgeous,” he mutters under his breath, his gaze roaming over your curves with a barely restrained hunger. One of his hands grips your thigh, dragging it higher around his waist. “Don’t know how the hell I got so lucky.”
You can’t manage a reply—your breath stutters as he runs his other hand up your side, fingers skimming your ribs, his thumb grazing the underside of your breast in a fleeting touch. The contrast between how tender he’s being and the way his voice drips with a filthy promise makes you whimper, arching into his touch.
He leans in, teeth nipping at your lower lip before he kisses you slow and deep. It's messy and you can taste yourself on his tongue. 
“Fuck,” he whines, “I need you, sweetheart. Need you right now—can I?” His voice cracks with urgency, and you feel every syllable reverberate through your body.
“Yes,” you whisper, voice trembling with anticipation. “Please, Steve. I—”
He cuts you off with another kiss, sliding his hand between your thighs, which have only got stickier. He groans at the way you shiver, so worked up that you feel like you might combust if he doesn’t fuck you this instant.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters. “So wet for me.” Then, in a lower tone. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, baby—gonna make you forget anything else exists except how good my cock feels inside you.”
His words took you by surprise. Your usual sweet boyfriend was downright obscene with his words.
You knew he had a sharp tongue, but you had no idea how damn filthy he could make it. 
He reaches into the bedside table and tears the condom wrapper off with his teeth, making quick work of sliding it over his length.
The moment he lines his cock up at your entrance, you can feel the tension in his body—like he’s holding back a tidal wave of desire, absolutely determined not to hurt you, to make sure you’re comfortable.
“You good?” he rasps, voice tight.
“Yes,” you pant. “Steve… please.”
He exhales a ragged breath and pushes into you, inch by inch, until the stretch of him draws a moan so raw from your lips that he answers with a guttural “Fuck.” 
Your head falls back, the sensation an exquisite combination of pleasure and the ache of being so completely stuffed. He stays there a moment, trembling arms caging you in, nose brushing yours as you grip him like a vice.
“Angel,” he chokes out, voice thick, “You—you feel so fucking perfect. Look at me.”
You force your eyes open, meeting his gaze, and the ferocity of his desire sends another wave of arousal flooding through your veins, clenching around his length. 
“You feel that, sweetheart? Feel how deep I am?”
All you can do is nod dumbly as his hand presses on your lower stomach. He knows you can feel him there.
He starts a slow rhythm, hips rolling, each thrust calculated to bring you higher. And for all his filthy talk, there’s a sweetness in the way he cups your cheek, kisses your jaw, your collarbone, like he can’t decide which part of you he loves most.
“God, yes,” he groans, each thrust picking up in intensity. “You like that? Tell me you like it.”
“I love it,” you gasp, fingers clawing at his back. “Steve, you feel—God, you feel amazing.”
He lets out a breathless laugh that ends in another throaty moan as he angles his hips just so, making you keen against his lips. His pace quickens, every stroke hitting deeper, sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve.
“Fuck—baby, you’re so tight,” he hisses, his mouth at your ear. “So damn tight for me. Never want this to end—wanna keep you like this, under me, always on my cock—cumming so hard you forget your own name.”
Jesus, if you knew this was how he was going to talk, you would have given him the green light weeks ago.
He punctuates the filthy promise with a particularly deep thrust, and your toes curl, a cry spilling from your throat as you cling to him. You’re quickly losing yourself in the haze of his words, his body, his everything.
You utter his name in a choked sob, and it’s like a starter’s pistol. He shifts his angle just enough that the strokes perfectly grind against that sensitive spot inside your walls. The pleasure mounts in a dizzying spiral, your body tensing as you hover on the brink of release.
“That’s it,” he coaxes, voice gone ragged, snapping his hips more insistently. “God, cum for me, sweetheart. I need to feel it—want to feel it so bad.”
And with one more roll of his hips, you do—crying out, body arching as the orgasm shatters through you. Every nerve in your body lights up as you clamp down, and his guttural moan tells you he’s right there with you, grinding through your climax until he’s spilling himself into the rubber, breathing your name over and over like a prayer.
For a moment, you’re both lost in the aftershocks, hearts pounding, bodies tangled in the sheets. Then he sags against you, pressing lazy, tender kisses to your shoulder and murmuring small, breathless praises that make your cheeks burn with warmth.
The afterglow is still pulsing between you—soft, warm, and intimate. He leans down to press feathery kisses to your shoulder, your chest, up the side of your neck, murmuring words of reassurance and awe.
“You did so good,” he breathes, voice low and reverent. “So perfect.”
Heat flutters in your chest at the praise, and you can’t help but giggle, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair and guide his face to yours. Your lips meet in a searing kiss, slow and sweet. When you finally pull back, you find him watching you with those big, earnest eyes.
“Was I… okay?” he asks, cheeks turning pink in a bashful sort of way. “Like, everything good for you?”
“More than okay.” You let out a satisfied sigh, your body still humming with pleasure. “That was perfect.”
“Yeah?” he echoes, a shy grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah.” You brush a thumb across his lower lip, feeling a spark of amusement as you remember the filth he whispered moments ago. “When were you gonna tell me you had such a dirty mouth?”
Instantly, his face flames. He cannot be blamed for what he said in the heat of the moment. It was hard to have a filter when he had you mewling underneath him.
“Hey, well, uh… I don’t… I mean, I—”
“Shh.” You chuckle, placing a finger over his lips “I loved it.”
“Oh yeah?” He exhales, relief and pride mingling. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind—my girl likes it a little dirty.” 
“C’mon, lover boy.” A fresh wave of laughter bubbles out of you. You let him help you up, your legs still a bit shaky. He steadies you with a strong arm around your waist and guides you to the bathroom so you can rinse off the sheen of sweat and bliss.
The shower is warm and comforting, the water sluicing away every last trace of tension as you help each other soap up and rinse off. When you emerge, toweling your hair and feeling the pleasant ache of satisfaction in your muscles, you notice Steve holding out one of his old T-shirts for you to slip on. You beam, tugging it over your head before crawling into bed next to him, the soft cotton drowning you in his familiar scent.
He pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. The hush of the room, the warmth of the covers, and the steady sound of his heartbeat lull you into a sweet, sleepy contentment.
“Hey,” he murmurs, turning so his nose brushes yours.
“Mmm?” you reply, lashes fluttering.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
Your heart clenches at the simple sincerity in his tone. “I love you too, Steve.”
And with that, his arms tighten around you, and you drift into a peaceful sleep, knowing that in the morning, you’ll both wake up in the same bed, same sappy looks on your faces, same lovesick smiles as you bask in the golden morning light. Steve will probably be watching you already, grinning like a fool, fingers tracing lazy patterns over your back, because he’s just that smitten.
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emptymanuscript · 3 days ago
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I admit I'm on the fence about AI in general... well, on the I have never used it and am not sure if I ever should but I've got the deep fear of missing out side.
But in the context of learning, it strikes me as falling in the same landscape as a calculator or Excel. I use a calculator or (actually more commonly) Excel to do any math because I'm not particularly good at math and never really have been.
BUT
When I was growing up, you did NOT get to use a calculator until you knew how to calculate. This was not a thing to make us suffer or just make life more difficult.
I also had stupid tests where I had to solve 100 math problems in 3 minutes, and I'm not about to argue that was good for me, helped me, or should be inflicted on subsequent generations.
I had to learn how to calculate BECAUSE of the above. If YOU don't know how to calculate, then it is impossible to tell if the calculator gave you the correct answer or not.
Back when I used to post to r/excel, I used to get flack for not showing the "EFFICIENT" way to solve problems but instead would show things step by step. But this is the same thing. If you do things in a big complicated group, you either get the right answer or the wrong answer. If you do things step by step you can CHECK your answer step by step and see if they make sense.
Do I need to know how to do 87^2 in my head in 30 seconds or less? No. I really don't. But I do need to know what is going on and why it is happening.
87^2 = 7,569 is great for a calculator to do. The calculator absolutely can do it faster than most people can. But if I just plug in 87^2 and get 689, how do I verify it? How do I check? Can I even realize, hmmm, that doesn't look quite right. Are my functions all right?
Knowing what is going on is the insurance for that. I can probably catch that, oh, I was trying to use a clever trick and forgot some steps.
The answer isn't all that is important.
And yes, it absolutely can make you dumber. Like I got to hear a discussion between two lecturers I really liked. And one just went off on a tangent and the other was clearly wondering why the hell she was there, this isn't science. BUT because I knew the details of how they were both dealing with the basic problem they were talking about - current science not being able to successfully predict certain phenomenon without numbers to fudge the situation that represent things that can't be proven independently of the need to fudge the numbers - I was able to follow the miscommunication while they, themselves, could not. His tangent made perfect sense in the context of his field of interest and made zero sense in hers. And if all you have the answers with no information of how you got to them, there's zero way to connect "I think the Sun might be conscious" and "I think half of the standard model is based on incorrect assumptions." They were in fact talking about the same things and differing solutions but there's no way to align that without talking about the assumptions, which needs to be laid out in order to UNDERSTAND the answer.
And struggling with my FOMO on writing, there's the basic truth that the reason I fear like I'm missing out is in part because I AM an expert. I have a graduate degree in TEACHING creative writing. I know my shit. So if I ask ChatGPT or whatever to spit out a scene for me, I not only can tell if it is good or bad, I can explain WHY it is good or bad and what needs to be done to improve it. I have zero fear of amateurs asking ChatGPT to spit out a novel for them and getting a novel of quality that I will be competing with. I am scared of people with enough knowledge of how writing works and knowledge of how ChatGPT creating the equivalent situation of me doing long division on paper while they're plugging the equations into a calculator.
A calculator, used as a tool, by someone who understands what they're doing, can do calculations faster and with less errors than someone who also understands what they're doing but isn't using a calculator. But it's not the difference of one being able to do it and another not. It's a difference of speed and accuracy.
It's an entirely different set up when it's someone who understands what they're doing versus someone who doesn't. You can give someone who doesn't know what they're doing all the tools in the world and it will still take them longer and produce an inferior product because they can't understand what they're doing.
And that's the basic problem with using ChatGPT for education. Yes, it can give you an answer. But because you don't know how, you simply have to trust that it is the correct answer. With no way to double check, no way to gauge, and no way to adjust the workflow to better suit your needs.
It absolutely is shooting themselves in the foot. Because school is the point where access to help with process and WHY things work the way to do is easiest to get. It does simply get harder to find the farther away from educational opportunities you get. And when you need it to work isn't the best time to be trying to figure out what you're really doing instead of already having that education and skill under your belt.
It's also relying on the fatal assumption that tomorrow is going to look like yesterday. My earliest datable memory is June 1st 1982. The world is so profoundly different in February 13th 2025, that I am very comfortable promising you that the idea that you can depend on the world looking the same for your entire life WILL get you into trouble because that's simply not the way the world works. Certainly not now. The assumption that it is safe to use ChatGPT now because you will always be able to use ChatGPT is a set up for failure. Will there always be tools? Yes. Will you know how to get future tools to work the same way as ChatGPT? Probably not. I grew up using Dos and then Window's machines. These days, the programs are so different, I find it easier to use a Mac instead of learning the new way that Windows does things.
If you rely on a particular tool solving a problem for you in a way you don't understand beyond that tool giving you the answer, you will be relearning the tool every large iteration. And eventually it will be different enough that it will set you back. That you will essentially be starting from nearly scratch. And then what? If you don't know what kind of answer you should get, how are you going to know if you're using that new tool correctly because some engineer decided that it is more efficient to move in a different direction?
Even novels have changed over the course of my life. Every book I've read that was published in the last 15 years breaks fundamental rules I was taught back in the early 90's. The conventions that I would have insisted that ChatGPT follow have changed. But if I didn't know WHY those conventions existed how would I even know? How would I adjust? Why would it even occur to me that I needed to adjust? ChatGPT sure doesn't know.
That's probably fine if it's just something you're doing for fun.
But if it is your job? Getting things wrong can be the difference between keeping that job and going hungry. It is not a good idea to be utterly dependent on your tools. Tools are to make what you're doing easier, not to do the task for you all together.
Yeah, just don't. The grades are not as important as what you will be able to do (or not be able to do) later in life. And sometimes that later can be a LOT sooner than you anticipate. I watched a LOT of people wash out or nearly wash out of college because they didn't know the whys and hows of what they were doing academically. I saw straight A students flunk out because they just learned the cheat or because their schools were crap and only taught one way to do things or taught nothing at all and just let the cards fall. I had a good friend who came in with a 4.2 GPA and nearly flunk out because she wasn't taught basic skills I had gotten in middle school.
Which was intentional.
Because she was black and poor and I wasn't.
Her schooling was designed to fail her because the best way to make sure someone as smart as her STAYED black and poor was to let her fly without ever teaching her the skills to do better when she needed to. And she was damned smart. And she worked damned hard. And she pulled through and got a master's before I did. But she was in the extreme minority and had a lot of help and still slid through by the skin of her teeth. Most people in her position crashed and burned and ended up WORSE off than they started. Which is great for the powers that be because it makes them a demonstration of why you shouldn't even try. It shows that society is stacked against you. Because it is. Because it is designed to fail.
Understand that ChatGPT is the same set up. It will make things easier. For now. It will give you the answers. It will work. Until it hits the level it can't anymore. And that WILL happen. It is inevitable. And then you have no supports and you ARE going to crash and burn.
There is a reason that ChatGPT is cheap and being forced on everyone. It is controlled by the people who are being served by the current societal structure.
Are you being served? Are you sure? Because if there is ANYTHING about you they can benefit by crushing, washing you out, setting you out to sacrifice, they're going to do it. Anything that is free in our society is a tool to make YOU the product. And they're damn good at doing it. So think long and hard about using that tool when they have so much history and investment in making you crap out for their benefit. Don't rely on them to save you.
I just started grad school this fall after a few years away from school and man I did not realize how dire the AI/LLM situation is in universities now. In the past few weeks:
I chatted with a classmate about how it was going to be a tight timeline on a project for a programming class. He responded "Yeah, at least if we run short on time, we can just ask chatGPT to finish it for us"
One of my professors pulled up chatGPT on the screen to show us how it can sometimes do our homework problems for us and showed how she thanks it after asking it questions "in case it takes over some day."
I asked one of my TAs in a math class to explain how a piece of code he had written worked in an assignment. He looked at it for about 15 seconds then went "I don't know, ask chatGPT"
A student in my math group insisted he was right on an answer to a problem. When I asked where he got that info, he sent me a screenshot of Google gemini giving just blatantly wrong info. He still insisted he was right when I pointed this out and refused to click into any of the actual web pages.
A different student in my math class told me he pays $20 per month for the "computational" version of chatGPT, which he uses for all of his classes and PhD research. The computational version is worth it, he says, because it is wrong "less often". He uses chatGPT for all his homework and can't figure out why he's struggling on exams.
There's a lot more, but it's really making me feel crazy. Even if it was right 100% of the time, why are you paying thousands of dollars to go to school and learn if you're just going to plug everything into a computer whenever you're asked to think??
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bahablastplz · 3 days ago
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Battleground: Minho x Reader
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Prompt: "Hii, i was wondering in you could write a one shot of alpha!minho x Alpha!afab. They met through their friend/roommate Jisung who is an omega, and they are enemies and Jisung has to break up their fights, but this one time they end up having sex while fighting for dominance." Content: Smut, angst, omegaverse, enemies to lovers, switch/dom Minho, switch reader, alpha reader/alpha Minho, afab!reader WC: 5000 Note: hi yes I got carried away with this but this was super fun to write. enjoy!
˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
You should have never trusted Jisung. This is often a motto of yours, actually, seeing as he’s responsible for nine out of every ten instances of trouble you find yourself in. But he has big pleading eyes and he can be so convincing that you throw caution to the wind every time he speaks. 
You needed a new roommate. Your old one bailed on you (thank god, because she was actually the worst). She was filthy and never cleaned up after herself. She left dishes in the sink, piles of trash for you to take care of, and was blatantly rude. You let out a sigh of relief when she told you she was moving and it took all of two days for her to fuck off for no apparent reason. She left your life as violently as she entered it, however, leaving piles and piles of her junk for you to take care of as well as half of the rent once again. 
You wish that you could lie and say that you could afford it by yourself but you simply couldn’t. It was just too far out of your spending limits and so… you needed to find a new place to live. 
When Jisung suggested you come to live in his spare bedroom, it really didn’t seem like that bad of an idea. You knew the omega well enough; he wasn’t the cleanest in the world but he’s a step up from your old roommate for sure. Plus he was one of your closest friends. If anything, you knew you would feel comfortable around him. The only reason you had hesitated at first is because everybody always tells you not to live with your friends. Somehow you doubted this would be an issue with Jisung though. 
It would be fine, right? You’ve heard only good things about his other roommate, Minho. Jisung jokingly refers to him as his platonic soulmate sometimes but you don’t really know anything else about him. You were a little weary about sharing a living space with two omegas and all, being an alpha yourself, but you were no asshole alpha. They would have nothing to worry about. 
Once again, you should have never trusted Han Jisung. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
“What are you doing? You’re going to scare her away!” You hear through the door of the apartment. You’re a little unsure when you hear muffled shouting and you feel an uneasiness in your stomach that you ignore but you can’t help to continue to listen. “Why are you acting like you don’t want her here?” 
“Because I don’t. We don’t know her!”
“You don’t know her. I know her perfectly well and you should trust my judgment.” You use this as the opportunity to knock on the door which swings open to a wide-eyed Jisung. He looks guilty of something and you’re confused before it hits you all at once. 
The apartment reeks of cinnamon. Every crevice and corner is dripping of the strong smell to the point you can hardly smell Jisung’s vanilla, even if you really focus. That’s when you come to the realization that Jisung’s roommate isn’t an omega… He’s an alpha. One intentionally covering the whole apartment with his smell before he even gets to know you to assert his dominance. You fight back the urge to roll your eyes at the stereotypical alpha behavior and you resist the urge to cover your nose at the smell. Just because Minho is being rude doesn’t mean you need to be rude in return. 
And before you can even say anything to greet him, he’s walking away and slamming his door shut. You give Jisung a look and he’s already looking at you apologetically. 
“I’m sorry,” he winces. “I really am. He’s not usually like this, I swear. I don’t know what’s going on–” 
“Jisung,” you interrupt. “You never told me he was an alpha in the first place!” 
His mouth opens slightly in a small ‘o’ shape. “I didn’t?” 
You sigh at him and take a deep breath. “Just help me with these boxes, okay?” And as if he’s eager to be back on your good side, he helps you without a fuss. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
It’s two entire days before you even see Minho again. It agitates your own alpha, really, knowing that there’s someone else in your living space you haven’t gotten a proper chance to meet and scope out. But you’ve finally gotten yourself settled into your space and you have to admit it’s nice being so close to Jisung all the time. 
You stumble out of your room after an afternoon nap to find him cooking in the kitchen. It takes you by surprise, honestly, because for someone who has already tried to be so stereotypically alpha, it just seems like a very… omegan activity. You tell yourself it’s not polite to pass judgments on someone you hardly know, especially regarding their secondary gender, so you don’t say a word about it. You do, however, make an attempt to properly introduce yourself.
“Hello,” you say lightly. Minho’s shoulders tense up for a second before they relax. “I’m Y/N.” He doesn’t turn around and he doesn’t say anything. You make a face from behind him, where he can’t see you. What is his deal? You lean against the wall, trying to think of a way to make conversation. If this were anybody else, you wouldn’t bother but… you’re doing this for Jisung, after all. This is supposed to be one of his closest friends aside from you. “How long have you known Jisung for?” you try. 
“Longer than you,” he scoffs. This catches you off guard as you’re not quite sure what to make of the statement. Is he trying to be possessive over the omega or is he just trying to show you that he’s winning whatever competition this is? 
“Oh. How long would that be? I’ve only known him for two years or so, but we’ve grown really close–” Minho finally spins around and you make eye contact for the first time. His harsh gaze is the first thing you really notice about him, his feline eyes sharp as they stare daggers into you. He’s very pretty, you note, and it almost pisses you off even more. How can someone so attractive be such an asshole? 
“You’re not my friend,” he says, pointing a wooden spoon at you threateningly. “This was my space first and you have no right to intrude and try to be buddy-buddy with me. I don’t know you.” His words are blunt, to the point. He turns back around and… god, he’s trying to assert dominance again by shutting you up and ending the conversation here! Better yet, his cinnamon scent spikes and swirls around the room, haunting you. 
You won’t retaliate with your own scent. You’re better than that. But that doesn’t mean you’ll let some alpha think he’s better than you and shut you up without a fight. “Who’s fault is that?” you spit. Minho freezes so you continue. “Who’s fault is it that you don’t know me, hmm? I never asked to be your friend, Minho. But I’m not here to intrude and I’m not here to take over your territory and become the new head-alpha, okay? I’m here because Jisung invited me. I’m here because I need a place to live! Is it really so fucking bad to think that maybe you can be civil with me? Instead you’ve been defensive since the second I walked through that door!” Your anger is spiking and you need to get control of yourself before you explode on him. You turn around and slam your door shut before you can say anymore. 
Once on your bed you fight the urge to punch something. You certainly let yourself get riled up fast. It annoys you that someone you don’t even know has this sort of effect on you. But you close your eyes and will the anger away, telling yourself that maybe, just maybe, it’ll get better. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
It doesn’t get better. It gets a whole lot worse, actually. Your first movie-night in with Jisung you actually get nauseous with how much he reeks of Minho. 
“Jesus, Sung,” you tell him. “It smells like you rolled around with him right before you came into my room.” 
“Sorry,” he says apologetically. It’s so hard to be mad at him. It really is. “He’s been extra clingy lately for some reason.” 
“For some reason,” you grumble. You know exactly why. “He’s trying to intimidate me to stay away from you, probably.” 
“What? Minho would never do that!” he says. You glare at him and he cowers down immediately. “I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he admits. 
“I’m tired of him making me feel like I’m the crazy one here! Everyone I talk to shoots praises out of their ass for him and meanwhile, I’m public enemy number one. I seriously don’t know what his issue is with me and I’m getting sick and tired of everyone telling me what a great person he is!” you rant rather loudly, ending with a great sigh. 
“Have you tried talking to him?” Jisung asks. You feel like you’re going to explode. 
“Yes, I have,” you tell him. “Multiple times. Each one ends in an argument or one of us storming off. I just can’t figure out what his deal is.” 
“Maybe–” 
“Sung, let’s just watch the movie, okay? I’m starting to get irritated and you’re not the one I’m upset with.” 
He concedes and snuggles in a bit closer to you, pressing play on the laptop. If you discreetly try to cover him in your own ginger scent? That’s between you and the moon goddess. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
You find yourself in the midst of some sort of war and you’re on the losing side. Lee Minho has made it his life mission to inconvenience or irritate you in any way he can. 
Exhibit A: One morning you find yourself running late for class and you open your door just to trip over a conveniently placed pile of his shoes. Cursing his name in your head, you grab your backpack and run out the front door, just narrowly making it in time for the professor to start talking. Fast forward to the end of class when you pull out your folder just to realize that said folder is nowhere to be seen. Your homework which you spent over an hour on the previous night has vanished, gaining you a zero on the assignment. You’re sure you’re seeing red when you get home and your folder is on the kitchen counter.  
“I don’t know what game you think we’re playing, but sabotaging my grades is going too fucking far, Lee!” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says as he sips on a cup of coffee. You fight the urge to throw it in his face. 
“Don’t act like you didn’t try to make me late for class and hide my folder!” you say, waving the folder in his face. He looks irritated but it’s no match for how you feel. 
“Your belongings are not my responsibility,” he says with an eye roll. “Next time maybe don’t misplace your stuff.” You leave because you’re not confident in your ability not to punch him. 
Exhibit B: Poor Jisung has tried to set up an apartment movie night. It’s a good idea, in theory, to try to get some supervised bonding. Jisung even sits right in the middle, anxiously picking at his nails the entire movie. That’s only after Minho accuses you of burning the popcorn and fighting with you over which movie to watch. Jisung ends up picking it. It was going well until he stretched his legs out over Jisung’s lap and into your space. You shove his feet off of you faster than he put them up. The action makes him almost fall off the couch and spill his soda all over himself and Jisung. 
The omega stands up covered in soda and huffs. “I give up!” he cries out in exasperation. 
“It’s her fault for pushing me–” 
“Give it a fucking rest!” you cry out. 
Everybody ends up in their respective rooms that night. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
 You didn’t want to go to this party. You really didn’t but you figured that you owe Jisung big time for turning his apartment into a warzone. The omega already has social anxiety and doesn’t love parties himself so you promised you would tag along. 
Minho is here too. You tell yourself you won’t interact with him but you keep catching his eyes from across the room. Deep down you hope that maybe the alcohol will mellow him down a bit and make him more tolerable. And maybe you use alcohol as a coping mechanism this one night. You’re stressed and a walking ball of tension every second of each day, not even able to relax in your own apartment. 
You always have an eye on Jisung when you party together. But you indulge in some tipsy flirting for once. This guy is super cute, after all… freckled face, long blond hair that frames his face, and a deep, sensual voice that makes you giggle and fawn over him. You amp up the usual techniques, touching his arm and laughing at all of his jokes. And when he leans in close enough that you feel his breath on your neck you don’t stop him. 
But somebody else does. 
One second you're bracing yourself for a drunken kiss and the next a hand is wrapped tightly around your arm, pulling you away. You smell burnt cinnamon before you even realize what happened and the anger that bubbles in your chest is unlike any you’ve ever felt before. You retaliate just as fast with an overwhelming mix of ginger that smells so strong it burns your nose. Before you can yell you’re being pushed out the door and into the cold of the night. 
“What the fuck was that,” you spit at Minho. You yank your arm out of his grip. 
“We’re leaving,” he tells you. 
“Like hell we are! You don’t get a say of who I spend my time with or when I decide to leave.” 
“I get a say when you’re making idiotic choices,” he answers, voice low. He spins you around until you’re pinned against the wall and his skin burns hot against yours. 
“No, you don’t. You’ve made yourself loud and clear that you don’t give a fuck about me. My bad choices are mine to make, Minho, not yours.” 
“You’re not thinking straight,” he tells you once he finally lets go. He looks like he’s trying to convince himself more than you. “Felix… he’s… I know him from my dance studio, okay? Just.. trust me and don’t go home with him. You can’t kiss him. Not Felix.”
“From your dance studio? Wow, ladies and gentlemen! Lee Minho has revealed exactly one thing about himself! He’s a dancer!” you say with mock surprise. You stumble a bit and Minho steadies you by your waist. It only serves to piss you off even more. 
“Let’s go home, yeah?” he asks. It’s probably the softest you’ve ever heard his voice yet. 
“No. I think I’m going to go kiss Felix and you can go fuck off,” you protest. You cross your arms and you look away from him because his cheeks are also flushed from drinking and he worries his lips between his teeth so you can’t stand to see it. 
He takes a deep breath. “Y/N, I swear to god you’re going to walk home with me or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and bring you home myself.”
Before you snap back at him about how ridiculous he’s being, the door opens and Jisung steps out. “Guys?” he questions, looking back and forth between the two of you. You’re breathing heavily and your fists are clenched but your anger dissipates the second you see the disappointed look on Jisung’s face. He wanted you here to keep him company. To soothe his social anxiety and to prove that you could be there for him, to show up for him like old time’s sake. And just like that, the adrenaline high slowly fades when you realize you’ve let him down. Anger turns to sorrow and guilt and god, no you won’t let Minho see you cry but you bury your face into Jisung’s neck. You whisper an apology and tell him you want to go home. 
You can’t help but feel like Minho has won this round, in some roundabout twisted way. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
You avoid leaving your room for the next day. You don’t really feel like you’re deserving of wallowing in your own sorrow, especially since the one who is impacted here is Jisung, not you. You’ve let him down. You don’t get to mope. So… what you’re doing is avoiding. Avoiding Minho and therefore avoiding any more conflict. 
It’s the next day you leave your room. You notice the scent of vanilla a little more sweet than normal and when you knock on Jisung’s door you notice he’s nesting. A mixture of your clothes and Minho’s are piled in his bed and you feel a pang of guilt in your chest. 
“You okay?” you ask. If Jisung is in preheat and you’ve avoided him for the past 24 hours, he’s probably feeling pretty antsy. He does let out a breath of relief when he sees you though and brings you in for a hug. 
But of course your timing is unfortunate because Minho unlocks the front door at that very moment. When he sees you in Jisung’s arms he growls, causing you and the omega to stiffen. Minho crosses the room in seconds and the smell of cinnamon behind you gets stronger. 
“Off,” he says low into your ear. You have half the mind to snap at him but Jisung’s vanilla scent burns. You back off, giving Jisung a small nod before disappearing to your room. The last thing you want to do is distress Jisung further just before he starts his heat. This needs to stop. It needs to end. 
Jisung leaves the next day to spend his heat in a hotel. Despite the apartment being more comfortable for him, the unit isn’t equipped to deal with the overwhelming scent of heats and ruts. You couldn’t afford a scent complaint fee. Jisung doesn’t complain as you help him pack his bags and you even help him into the hotel room. You offer your best support in helping him rebuild his nest though you don’t have the same omegan instincts as he does. 
“I’m sorry again,” you tell him before you leave. “For everything. With Minho. It’s… we’ll work it out. Okay? Love you Sung.” 
He gives you a sad smile. His heat should start by the morning, you would guess. You just hope he can be comfortable and not worry too much about you and Minho. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
Minho is standing anxiously by the door when you get home. You half expect him to crowd you against the wall but he doesn’t, eyes glued to the floor instead. 
“You smell like him,” he tells you. 
“Yes Minho,” you reply sarcastically. “It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. Jisung is my friend too. You don’t have to act all possessive of him all the time.” 
He hums. You feel your blood boil again. How does he get you so worked up to the point of your heart pumping a mile a minute every time you see him? 
“Minho. Be honest,” you start. He finally looks up at you. You can’t read his face. Your alpha goes back and forth between wanting to pounce on him and run away in fear. You need to do what you think is right. “Do you want me to move out?” 
You aren’t expecting his reaction. You expect him to laugh in your face. You expect him to be overjoyed. But instead he seems shocked. 
“What?” 
“What do you mean what? Don’t act like this isn’t what you wanted from the very beginning. You win, okay? I concede. You want your space? You want to be the only alpha again? This is it. This is your opportunity. I’m offering you a way out now. No more fighting. No more upsetting Jisung. If you want me gone, just say the word. Please. I’ll leave.” 
“Don’t.” 
“What?” You almost think you’ve misheard him but he takes a step closer and he looks at you with pleading eyes. “What is your gameplan then? Why make me miserable since the second I move in? Argue with me, tell me who I can and can’t kiss, for god’s sake make me fail a fucking assignment? If you don’t want me fucking gone, Minho, what the fuck do you want–” 
You’re cut off by his lips clashing against yours so hard your head would have hit your head against the wall if not for Minho’s hands holding you as if you’re something precious. Your teeth clank together but you’re breathing him in and reciprocating his affection just as violently as he gives it. When his tongue enters your mouth and you taste cinnamon you realize you’ve never hated the smell, never hated him… He kisses into you like he needs you to breathe, like he’s been in the desert and you’re his oasis. 
You’re not sure that a kiss has ever felt like this before. You think for a moment that you might not be able to kiss anyone again after this, everyone and everything lacklustre compared to Minho. Minho. Minho. Nobody has ever and will ever make you feel this burning, boiling… hatred? lust? desire? Whatever it is you feel, you’re not sure it could be replicated. 
When you wrap your leg around his waist he grabs under your knee, hoisting you against the wall. His mouth is all over you and he explores every inch of your mouth, your neck, your collarbone. Your hands take purchase on his shoulders, in his hair, you’re not sure but you want to feel every inch of him there is to explore. Cinnamon has never smelled so sweet.
Minho brings you into his bedroom and it’s the first time you’ve stepped foot into his space but you don’t take the time to look around. In fact, the only thing you notice is that his comforter is soft, soft against your back as he throws you onto his bed. Your clothes are all but shredded from your body and if you had claws you would have used them to get every inch of useless fabric off of Lee Minho’s body. It makes you angry that he’s still clothed, so angry that you forgo pleasure in replacement of ripping the clothes off of him harshly. He grins. He has that smug fucking grin on his face you want to wipe off and you kiss his stupid lips again. This time when you kiss you’re both completely naked and every part of your body that touches his is scalding. 
When you sit on his lap your bare pussy slides along his cock and you both groan. His hands are on your hips and in desperation you both move back and forth. Every time his cock catches on your entrance you both let out a hitched breath but neither of you can stop. 
“Fuck. I’m gonna knot you, you know that? I’m gonna fuck you so full and then knot you so that everybody knows you’re mine,” he pants as he ruts his cock against you desperately. Is this just another way for him to stake his claim over you? To show that he’s the true alpha? Oh hell no.
“You’re such an asshole,” you tell him with a hiss when he finally slides into you. He’s big. You already knew this from the (not so) dry humping just moments ago but it still pisses you off when he stretches you nice and full. “Stupid asshole alpha with a stupid big cock.” 
When he looks up at you it’s with adoration and it throws you off. His eyes gleam and his teeth are caught against his bottom lip in a sultry grin. He plants his feet against his bed and thrusts up into you hard and fast–you almost fall because you have no time to plant your hands anywhere for balance. But the almighty perfect Minho catches you before you fall because of course he does. His hands on your waist only hold you in place to give him the opportunity to fuck up into you with more force and the wet sounds that come from between your bodies are filthy… but only serves to turn you on even more. 
“You were saying about me being an asshole?” he asks. His voice is breathy and low and you fucking hate how much you love it. 
“If all you wanted was to fuck me this bad you didn’t have to act like such a dick,” you say through tight lips. Okay. You’re trying not to moan, to give him that satisfaction. Who could blame you? “You only made me hate you more.” 
“Fuck,” he says, throwing his head back. “It wasn’t on purpose… didn’t like you at first but all of a sudden it turned to lust and… can’t you feel what you do to me?” He punctuates his point with a harsh thrust and fuck, you vaguely remember him mentioning he was a dancer. Perfect body, perfect hips and thighs made just to fuck you like this. 
“How you treated me wasn’t fair,” you tell him. You need him to know and you’re lowering your hips, trapping your legs under his so he can’t bounce you up and down on his cock anymore. Your hand snakes up to his throat and takes purchase there, watching the way he gulps and his eyes turn heavy at the action. You feel a burning satisfaction at the way his hips buck into you involuntarily when you squeeze slightly. “Say it,” you coo. “I want to hear you admit to me that you know you treated me poorly.” 
You expect a fight from him because, let’s be honest, Minho always puts up a fight with you. But any ounce of opposition leaves his body the second his eyes meet yours. He looks regretful. He looks small. “I treated you poorly,” he tells you. His eyes never leave yours. “I acted like a child because I had feelings for you that were misplaced. I liked you from the beginning and I… fuck, I didn’t know how to deal with that and I pushed you away. I wanted you to hate me.” 
The confession that spills past his lips is the last thing you’re expecting him to say. Your grip on his neck falters and he uses his stupidly impressive core strength to sit up, bringing your lips into a kiss. It isn’t explosive, it isn’t word-changing, but it is sweet and apologetic and very Minho. 
He places you on your back and resumes his pace, bringing your legs up to rest on his shoulders. At this angle he reaches deep inside you and the first time you gasp he resumes his brutal, relentless pace. 
“Fuck, I’m gonna knot you, please let me knot this pretty pussy,” he pleads. The first time he said it it was a demand; this time he asks from his soul, baring it to you and giving you ample time and opportunity to reject it. 
“Yes,” you moan. But if he’s going to claim you as his from the inside out, the least you could do is return the favor. And so you scratch Minho, raking your nails down his back until they’re sure to leave a mark. And when you’re both on the precipice you bite down onto his shoulder hard, just inches away from his scent gland. It’s not a mating bite but it is a mark, a claim. You suck hard into the bite just as he finishes, his knot expanding and catching on your entrance. You don’t release your mouth from his skin until he’s done pulsing inside you but to your surprise, he doesn’t stop moving his hips. Despite his knot locking you in place he grinds his hips into yours in small circles, putting pressure right onto your clit with his pubic bone. It’s too much, the stimulation of your clit, his knot, and the thick head of his cock hitting that spot deep inside you causing you to cum around him hard with a cry. 
You feel as if you’ve been electrocuted, little shocks going through your whole body with every wave of your orgasm. You almost wish he was bad in bed, if just to keep your dignity and tell him that he wasn’t all that. But with the gutteral noises he dispelled from your body, lying would just be a farce. 
When you’ve both finally calmed down and his knot finally deflates, you half expect him to kick you out of his room. You’ve built up your walls so high around him that it’s hard to imagine him treating you any other way. You’re anxious for sure, moreso at yourself for allowing yourself to be so hopeful. But Minho rolls over and grabs you, holding you close to his chest. Even when you squirm he doesn’t dare to let you go. 
“I really am sorry,” he tells you. A murmur into your hair. “I don’t want you to move out. I’m sorry for treating you the way I did. My alpha thought… that because we like you that maybe asserting our dominance would make you like us more. I know that’s illogical and just sounds  like an excuse but…” 
“I forgive you,” you tell him. “Well… maybe I don’t forgive you just yet. But I can if you prove to me that you’re done with the macho asshole alpha act. No more being possessive over Jisung. My friend by the way! Still haven’t gotten over that. And no more sabotaging my grades.” You shoot him a glare and he only looks at you sheepishly. Harsh looks turn into soft stares and all of a sudden he’s kissing you again. Your tension has already begun to melt away. You begin to see the charm of the Lee Minho everybody has told you about and you think, maybe… just maybe everything will be okay now. 
“I think we owe Jisung a gift,” Minho whispers into your hair. 
“I think we owe him a hundred gifts,” you wince. 
“He’s not going to believe his fucking mind when he gets back.” You laugh so hard your stomach begins to hurt. You think maybe you like the way Minho looks when he smiles. You think maybe you really like the way cinnamon and ginger smell together. You think maybe you could get used to kissing Minho and that burning, bubbly feeling in your stomach agrees. 
。 ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ 。˚
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lananiscorner · 2 days ago
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Reblogging this version and stealing the tags as well:
#i realized this when I was following#gen padalecki#she was talking about the garden#and livestock#and book clubs#and doing so many things with the boys#and i realized that if she had to work#like i have to work#and didn't have the money to hire people to do shit#she couldn't do all of that either#and then i unfollowed her#because it wasn't relevant to me#and was just making me feel bad about myself#even though i knew we were not on the same boat#she's in a yacht#and i'm in a rowboat#and you can't compare the two
This is so important, especially when it comes to body image.
If you ever find yourself looking at someone and thinking "damn, I wish I was as slim and toned as that insta model" or "damn, I wish I was built like that Navy Seal dude"... remember that this is literally PART OF THEIR JOB. You can't be an insta model without being slim and you can't be a spec ops soldier without being in excellent, buff shape. And as a result, people like that spend A LOT of hours in the gym. Like, a lot A LOT. And no, not off hours, after already working for 8+ hours a day like you with your desk job. If you are trying to emulate people like that while not being in that job, you are essentially trying to do two jobs at once. And that ain't a sustainable way to live (you can make it work, but good grief, at what cost...)
And any time you look at someone rich enough to afford somebody else to do their cooking and cleaning and child care? Dial your own expectations way the hell down, because those are freaking time sinks. There's a reason rich people hire other people to do that shit for them (because it's work--and unless you are rich it's work you HAVE TO do for free, because cooking is kind of important for eating and cleaning is kind of important for being healthy and if you don't take care of your kids they have a high risk of ending up dead).
I would also add to this that sometimes it really is too late/impossible to strive for something that you would like to be your top priority. I have asthma and I'm nearing 40. Even if I started working out right now, with the same diet and exercise regimen as a soldier, I would not be able to get that level of fitness, because 1) my lungs aren't build for that and 2) aging is a thing and my body's prime days are over.
And that sucks. Realizing that there are legit, unchangeable roadblocks to things you would like to make your priority SUCKS. And it's okay to be angry and frustrated about that for a while, and to grieve the opportunities you wish you had but never will. It's perfectly fine and normal and healthy. So long as you remember that grief is not a place to be forever. Life goes on. There's more beauty to find in the world and so much more to live for rather than wallowing in sadness forever.
So, if you find yourself with something that you want to make your priority, but cannot, for circumstances outside of your control, ask yourself "okay, but how much do I have to dial back the intensity to make it work and still have it be a top goal?"
One of my goals for this year is to go swimming again. I used to do that competitively. I would love to get back to that same level of intensity again, but 1) I am getting old, 2) I have a full-time job, and 3) it's not something I can just do at home anytime I want--I have to take a bus to the city swimming pool to get there and they ain't open 24/7. So no, I will not be swimming again with the same regularity and intensity as before, but I will try to find a time window that will work with my job and the commute and the opening hours and I will take as much swimming as I can get, because good grief, I miss the water.
One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.
(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)
This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”
Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”
It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)
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girllblogging777 · 3 days ago
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╰┈➤ valentine’s day with bf!mattheo
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
you knew mattheo riddle didn’t do things halfway. there was no in-between with your boyfriend. if he cared about something, he cared too much. and if he didn’t, he wouldn’t even give it a second thought. you’d seen him throw himself into everything, reckless and intense, and now, for some reason, he’d decided that valentine’s day, this overhyped, ridiculous holiday that you never even celebrated, was worth caring about.
he wouldn’t tell you much when he first brought it up, which wasn’t unusual. mattheo had this way of throwing you into things headfirst, dragging you along with that smirk and sharp eyes, and somehow, you always trusted him anyway. but now, as you walked into the astronomy tower at his instruction, you felt your chest tighten, unsure what he had planned. unsure why he was even doing this. it was mattheo. it wasn’t like him to be sentimental.
except he was already there, standing near the window, and you froze when you saw the effort he’d gone to. the usually cold and empty tower looked… soft, almost. there were candles, so many candles, hovering around the room, casting a golden glow across the space. there was a blanket spread on the floor with a small basket set on top, and even a messy cluster of flowers leaning to one side in a glass jar that might’ve been borrowed from the potions classroom.
“you’re late,” he said, his voice light but teasing, as he turned to face you. his tie was undone, his hair a little disheveled, and he had his hands shoved in his pockets like he was trying to look unaffected, but you caught the flicker of nerves in his expression as his eyes scanned yours.
“what is all this?” you asked, still standing at the doorway, because it didn’t feel real.
he shrugged. “it’s valentine’s day,” he said, as though that explained everything, like he hadn’t spent weeks teasing you for never celebrating it.
“you hate valentine’s day.”
“so do you.”
you folded your arms, squinting at him, trying to figure out what he was up to. “then why—”
“because you’ve never had one,” he said quickly, cutting you off, and his words hit you harder than you expected. “a proper one, i mean. i asked. you told me. no one’s ever done anything for you, and i…” he trailed off, frowning, like he hated how vulnerable he sounded, like it physically pained him to admit. “i thought maybe you deserved it. just this once.”
you opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. there was something stuck in your throat, and mattheo shifted on his feet like he was seconds away from regretting the whole thing.
“look, it’s not a big deal,” he said quickly, running a hand through his hair and looking away. “i just… i know i’m not good at this stuff, alright? i’m not the flowers-and-candy type. i don’t write poetry or whatever the hell people do, but i figured… i dunno. candles are nice, yeah?”
“candles are nice,” you said softly, your lips twitching upward, and mattheo’s shoulders relaxed a fraction.
“and the flowers?” he asked, nodding toward the ones by the window, a slightly smug grin creeping onto his face. “picked ‘em myself. didn’t even kill half the plants in the process.”
“that’s impressive,” you teased, finally stepping into the room, and you felt him watching you as you moved closer.
“and there’s food,” he added, gesturing to the basket as you sank down onto the blanket. “stole it from the kitchens. house elves didn’t even catch me.”
“you really went all out, huh?” you asked, glancing up at him, and you couldn’t tell if the warmth in your chest was from the candles or the way mattheo looked almost proud of himself.
“yeah, well,” he said, dropping down beside you, close enough that your knees brushed. “it’s your first valentine’s day. figured it should be worth remembering.”
you stared at him for a moment, the teasing remark on the tip of your tongue dying as you caught the way his expression softened just slightly, the way he refused to look directly at you when he said it.
“this is perfect,” you said quietly, and his eyes flicked to yours, something vulnerable flashing there before he covered it with a smirk.
“yeah?” he asked, leaning back on his hands. “good. ‘cause i have no idea what i’m doing.”
you laughed, shaking your head. “you’re doing fine.”
“fine’s not good enough,” he said, leaning forward slightly, his face just inches from yours now. “not for you.”
and before you could reply, before you could tease him or tell him just how much this all meant, he leaned in, his hand coming up to cup your face as his lips pressed against yours. it wasn’t rushed or careless, the way mattheo usually was. it was slow, deliberate, like he was still trying to prove himself, still trying to show you how much you mattered to him without needing words.
you melted into him, your hands tangling in his hair as the kiss deepened, and when he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, a small grin tugging at his lips.
“so,” he murmured, his voice low, “better than those stupid chocolate hearts, yeah?”
“much better,” you said, smiling as you kissed him again, the candles flickering around you like they were part of the spell you’d fallen under.
“good. and you haven’t even seen the fireworks yet-“
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
a/n : happy valentine’s day everyone !!! sending y’all much love and happiness <333
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