#so we won't even have much time to get work done. fuck this gay earth and my stupid baka life

[yisanged]

my english teacher has a lot of nerve giving us a stupid ass quiz with incomprehensible questions and then also giving us two homework assignments due the next morning saying "they're not long at all so don't freak out..... it should be easy for you to get them done" and one of them is literally four pages long and the other is a big ass chart about narrative foils to fill out plus making our own whole image on google drawings or slides or something that shows a different example of narrative foils plus a whole explanation of how they're foils. and the four page one is the purpose of syntax and diction and one of the things we have to analyze for syntax and diction is literally just “Some things are hard to remember” what syntax? what diction? it is literally a simple six word sentence with absolutely no punctuation. she even left out the period at the end of the sentence when she copy pasted it. what the hell

[caffeineandsociety]

I think of voting the same way I think of taking medicine. Sometimes it's really, really, really fucking hard to stay motivated to do it when the difference is between "fucking awful" and "slightly less awful" - but I still do it anyway, every time. Why?

Well, sure, as a severely disabled person who can't get a conventional job, there is no politician at a level high enough to make a meaningful change in a reasonable timeframe who will have my best interests at heart (and by extension the interests of those like me). It's great that AVERAGE wages are finally outpacing inflation, and we SHOULD be celebrating that more than we are, but not to the point of forgetting that MINIMUM wage still isn't keeping up except in a small handful of bluer areas at the local level and disability benefits REALLY aren't.

But it's so much worse under conservative policies that won't let ANY of the working class stay afloat - even for me personally; at least this way my limited independent work has customers - and the fact that bluer areas have a middle class again and are raising local minimum wages is not exactly meaningless.

American foreign policy is ALWAYS trash. Always has been. I work, I petition, I call my representatives, and hell when I have the physical capacity to I even protest to make it less so, but as long as it's been so dogshit or even worse I do sadly fear that the best I may be able to do in my time on earth is make it a LITTLE less dogshit.

But it's easier to work under leadership that's LESS enthusiastic about criminalizing protest - at least I'm less likely to die at a blockade - and it's more likely to be effective under leadership that's just greedily sucking off military contractor companies for money than under leadership where killing as many people as possible is the point.

I live in California, home of State-Level Homonationalism. I fucking despise how much we act like the fact that we love Amazon-sponsored Pride parades makes us immune to invading privacy and "save the children" rhetoric, never mind a truly disgusting level of classism and smugness about red states as if they're not rigged to shit. I complain about this a lot. My representatives probably know me by name and go "oh boy not this guy again" every time I email them about some anti-privacy bill that they think SURELY won't be used to prosecute people for just not being cishet because come onnn, maaaannn, we LOVE the gays here~!

But I still try to get friends from out of state in with my doctors and offer my couch while they get their shit done, because I know that we'll likely always be one of the last holdouts no matter how bad the national anti-queer backlash gets - if nothing else, I believe these naive dumbasses' claims that they'll (TRY to) always be a sanctuary state even if other states are frothing at the mouth to prosecute me over whatever's in those records, because they've lived up to it before, and in the VERY worst case scenario that policy buys me time to flee.

It's hard to see how much worse things can be when they already suck, just like it's hard to see the motive to take a horse-choking pill when the consequence of not doing it feels theoretical but the disgust of how stale the pill tastes to result in still feeling like crap feels very, very real.

But here's the situation. We have a presidential election coming up in, at the time of this writing, just over 5 months. One of two candidates WILL win. One of them is a doddering old man who's done pretty damned good things for the American working middle class, some people with certain very specific common disabilities, and very few other people, who just like any other politician at his level, is in bed with US weapons manufacturers because it pleases The Line. The other is an omnicidal fascist dictator wannabe, or maybe a less openly rabid but, terrifyingly, more competent understudy for him, depending on how a series of criminal proceedings go. This will not only decide the next 4 years, but thanks to the balance of powers and namely how the Supreme Court is structured, have knock-on effects that may last for generations.

I do not have ANY confidence that "sacrificing ourselves" to "punish" the former into being better will work, particularly because there is no universe in which replacing a guy who's in bed with weapons manufacturers with a guy who explicitly WANTS to escalate our imperialist bullshit, the-cruelty-is-the-point style, says "Americans want more compassionate foreign policy". Historically, they've typically compromised WORSE to regain lost votes, not put their foot down for better, because it implies the "kill everyone" policies are the more popular ones - and also, I don't consent to being fucking sacrificed! It's not just you, personally, who will suffer!

Similarly, I do not have any confidence that we will be able to start, fight, and win, a sweeping revolution - a.k.a. a fucking civil war - in 5 months to get a third option. Not only that, but even in the long term, I fully recognize that as a high cost, high risk option, and therefore want outright warfare to be doing as little of the heavy lifting as is reasonably possible.

So I vote for the same reason I take my fucking disgusting-ass pills every morning - because of the options I am given, I would rather be sick but semi-functional than bedbound, hospitalized, or dead.

[shinydixon]

this is long but if this is how the fandom behaves during a small controversy, i don't wanna be here to see the day joe does something that pisses people off for real. and it's going to happen because he's human but all this fame thrown onto him will begin to rot his image a little bit. i like one of the most controversial person out there: courtney love. she's accused of horrible things daily and she has had her share of controversy and brought public humiliation onto herself when she was on drugs. but she's an amazing musician and she's brilliant. she also stands for very noble causes and calls out hypocrisy. she was recently calling out the rock and roll hall of fame for their sexist behavior towards female musicians. the reason i'm saying this is because my tolerance for controversy is pretty high. i know the artists i look up to are flawed and they will make mistakes. putting this pressure on joe to be perfect and ideal, to be the greatest man on earth is only going to hurt him and push him away from you and by you i mean his fans. i'm gonna be honest, since i began following joe's career and all, i do believe his this amazing man, very kind, very brave, very talented. but he does have a small vibe to him, that naughty kind of vibe. like he acts impulsively and then has to deal with the consequences. that's NOT a bad thing but it's something that will get him into trouble one day or another. i think some of his fans need to work on getting a thicker skin or stop stanning him so much this won't be the first time he's involved in a controversy. he's only starting. sure he had amazing works before st but let's be real, st turned his career around. he's not joseph quinn, he's THE joseph quinn, the actor who portrayed eddie, the beloved metalhead who sacrificed himself in the end. i get the impression sometimes that because of rpf fics and stuff, some fans have a very idealized version of joe in their heads and when they see the real thing or see something that shatters this version, they spiral. i'm not saying they're wrong about being mad at this charity. i'm really not. i'm just saying that it's that time. joe made a mistake. did he know? probably not. but i don't see him addressing it. he doesn't use social media, he does seem to truly hate it. do i think he sometimes browses his insta? yes, all the time. but he doesn't post, he carries a camera around and takes a lot of pictures and he's never posted them. at least not on his insta. so i don't think he'll say something. it took a year and a con and a very silly girl to corner joe so he would address the verbal abuse grace has suffered. that question was out of place but that's what it took him. he never decided to make a post about it, he never even implied he knew about it. i hope i'm very wrong but the only way i see him addressing this is if a fan asks him about it. it's just a choice. like, if he had no insta we wouldn't even get the crumbs we get and there'd be no way to even tag him on important posts. so he chooses to be silent. don't think it's a bad thing, i have a tendency to let the dust settle before i decide to dust it again. but yeah, guys, thicker skin. he's gonna mess up even more because he's human and he's flawed and he's in a business that showcases all of his mistakes and we live in a cancel culture. we know exactly where he stands. there's a video of him screaming 'fuck donald trump' during a protest, there are pictures of him celebrating the fact gay people could finally get married...he's good. you gotta know this and stand your ground, if you can't do that, then having a celebrity as an idol is a big mistake.

THANK YOU

I'm for real so done with people trying to cancel Joe even for breathing.

This Fandom became hell on earth for real

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

Why I Won't Say I'm In Love is a Jeremy song: the essay, as requested by one (1) person

Hope you're happy @peanut-butter-and-theatre /lh

In the past I've seen cosplay vids of Michael singing IWSIIL about - you guessed it - Jeremy. But when you look at Meg's backstory in mythology, which is touched on briefly in the movie, Meg's lover before Herc died and she sold her soul to Hades to bring him back. Shortly after he came back, he left her for another woman. With her heart thoroughly shattered, she completely abandons her love of romance and denies any feelings she has for Hercules in an almost three minute song and sings about how shes not going to put herself through that again.

Hmm, where have we heard this before?

Jeremy Heere, a hopeless romantic desperate to get his crush to notice him, sells his free will to a megalomaniacal supercomputer that promises to give him everything he wants and more. When this all starts to blow up in his face (through some fault of his own), he gets rejected by Christine on Halloween and, though she agrees to go to lunch with him at the end of the show, depending on which version you're going off of (I'm going off of two river), it's left open ended as to whether he Gets The Girl or not.

But. For the purposes of IWSIIL, let's say things fall through between them in some form or another.

Without even making some headcanon as to how much of a romantic Jeremy really is or how many unrequited crushes he's had, he clearly has anxiety. And if you go through a Metric Shitload of trouble for a crush only for it all to end up meaning nothing, that's gonna deter you from ever trying again. Ffs Meg brought her boyfriend back from the dead and he just ran off with another chick. It was ancient Greece so everyone was slutty as fuck but the point stands, Meg was rightfully devastated.

ANYWAY if Jeremy starts to realize he's crushing on - oh ya know for the sake of example - Michael, he's gonna slam on the breaks SO FUCKING HARD and say "nope. I'm not doing this shit again. There's too much that can go wrong, too much to lose."

And,, you can make the argument that Michael would have those same thoughts and the song still works for him, but we don't have the same canon knowledge of his experience in relationships. We don't Know if he's had any relationships fall through. We don't even know if he's dated anyone.

The one way I could see you finagle it to make it work would be to say that he's trying not to fall for jer all over again because he's cautious abt messing with their friendship after everything with the squip is all said and done. But simply looking at the history of who IWSIIL was originally written for and seeing how Jeremy's story unfolded, the parallels between Meg and Jeremy fit SO much better.

And just because I'm extra and it's 11pm and I have work tomorrow, heeres some more lyrical comparison yOURE WELCOME.

"If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that"

Jeremy's full willingness to trust the squip being horribly and embarrassingly wrong in hindsight, leading him to spiral into wishing he'd known better at the time.

"No[body's] worth the aggravation. That's ancient history. Been there, fuck done that"

He doesn't even want to try to date anyone again because things went so Balls To The Wall Batshit that he doesn't wanna risk going through so much trouble just to get his heart broken again.

(Insert the squad as the muses with the "who you think you're kidding? He's the earth and heaven to you, try to keep it hidden. Honey we can see right through you. [Jer] you can't conceal it. We know how you feel and who you're thinking of" and "you swoon, you sigh, why deny it" because the trope of the squad knowing how gay Michael and Jeremy are for each other while they're both neck deep in denial is Too Good)

"It's too cliche, I won't say I'm in love"

Pretty self explanatory. How cliche is friends to lovers??

"I thought my heart had learned its lesson, it feels so good when you start out. My head is screaming 'get a grip, [Jer,] unless you're dying to cry your heart out"

Jeremy would think that after royally screwing up trying to get Christine, he wouldn't be so quick to fall for someone again but lol heere he is, and he's trying so hard to not let his emotions get the better of him when he thinks things can only ever end badly for him.

("You can't deny it, who you are and how you're feeling. [Jeremy], we're not buying. Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling. Face it like a grown-up, when ya gonna own up that you got got got it bad" and "give up or give in, check the grin, you're in love" and "YOURE DOIN FLIPS. READ OUR LIPS. YOURE IN LOVE")

And all. Of Jeremy's. Doubling down.

"No chance. No way. I won't say it. No no"

"This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love"

"You're way off base, I won't say it"

"Get off my case, I won't say it"

He's trying so hard to deny it. So hard to make the feelings go away because he doesn't wanna put himself through that pain again. Until of course...

"At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love"

He knows his feelings. He knows how much Michael means to him. And just because he doesn't think he can ever admit that to Michael doesn't mean that he can't admit it to himself.

So yeah thank you for coming to my tedtalk go watch the tiktoks I made of Jeremy singing I Won't Say I'm In Love

[maremote]

honest to god thank you for your opinions on flint/thomas hamilton and especially flint/silver/hamilton I’m new here but i feel like i’m taking crazy pills in this fandom. I have never cared less about anyone than about thomas hamilton. we barely know him! at least we know miranda? and what even is flint/silver/hamilton how on earth does that work? (not even mentioning madi because that’s a whole nother can of worms). and even if the ending was as silver said (doubt), what would flint and thomas even have except an extremely brief shared history? what is the hold thomas hamilton has on this fandom? why is there is much flintsilverthomas? ao3 is chock full of it. it can’t just be a gay man on screen because…because it can’t just be that. what am I missing that everyone else sees? anyways good of you to say so as well i’m digging your takes

it quite literally IS just that he's a white gay man on screen. that's it. there's nothing else to distinguish him in a positive way. he showed up for 30 minutes to quote the bible, advocate for colonialism, wear ugly wigs and spout a totally incoherent political position.

like yes his plan was to offer a universal pardon. and when the pirates said no? when they said we won't take your pardon (because from what we know of the pirates at this time, there's no way they would have said yes) you'll have to kill us first? what does the fandom think thomas hamilton would have done. just leave? ask nicely again? is he stupid? is he complicit? the answer is both.

i actually do think silver was telling (his version of the) truth. i think flint & thomas reunite, though i have a very different interpretation of how their relationship played out post-series- looks mournfully at my fic outlines- one day i will share my thoughts on this further.

i think that thomas is absolutely positioned as flint's penelope, but like all the parallels in this show, this parallel is most interesting for its subversiveness. like odysseus and penelope get along so well because they're both smart, manipulative fucking liars (silverflint cough cough.) but the Narrative positions flint & his return to Thomas after twenty years as being the odysseus-penelope reunion, whereas flint only becomes peak Odysseus after becoming flint from james mcgraw. to me in The Show About Not Taking Things At Surface Value it could not be more obvious that silver is trying to frame the story as odysseus returning to penelope. i mean we only see what happens in his story about it. flint returns to "penelope" in chains he is FORCED there. so when people are like "aww he returned to his true love" like to each their own i guess but it must be so boring watching black sails as you.

"not even mentioning madi cause thats a whole nother can of worms" congratulations you just described the thought processs behind every silverflinthamilton work on ao3

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXII)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Worry about you

(6x15/6x17/6x19)

Hi my friends! Today I want to talk with seriousness about one of the most hilarious episodes from season 6. And because it was written by Ben Edlund, there's juicy Destiel elements there. I will talk too about episode 18 and 19, near to the end, because I will take some points from those too.

I want to give thanks to my friend @agusvedder , she made the gifs for this meta! Love ya girl!

Ok, let's start this volume...

Balthazar calling Cas as Cassie

When 6x15 "The French Mistake" starts, Balthazar appears in Bobby's house, moving fast as Cas did in 6x03, appearing and dissapearing the whole time looking for things to use in a spell... In the middle of that loud scene, this dialogue is developed...

BALTHAZAR: Raphael is after us all. You see, he's consolidated his strength. And now he's on the move.

SAM: And where's Cas?

BALTHAZAR: Oh, Cassie? He is deep, deep underground. So, good old Raffy put out a hit list on every last Samaritan who helped our dear Cas – Including both of you. And so much more importantly, me. See, he wants to draw Cas out in the open.

First of all I want to say, each episode written by Edlund, shows us DEAN AND CAS ARE IN LOVE, each one of them. The man knew what he was doing writing their relationship as romantic. So, I would say... This wasn't the exception... Why Balthazar would name Cas as Cassie (Dean's first love?) Balthazar doesn't know that, but we do, the spectators.

Dean exaggeratedly eye fucking Misha/Cas

One of the most hilarious scenes was this one here ...

Dean playing to be Jensen playing to be Dean, and the eye fucking. Delightful, just because Dean knows Cas and him do that thing the whole time. So, he plays his role, but because Dean is an awful actor, that's the result.

Pretty interesting Dean is aware of it... Just saying.

Dean starts to worry about Cas

By the end of the episode, Raphael find the boys and Balthazar, but Cas makes his apparition. But why on Earth the camera just took Dean's facial reaction to what Cas was saying and doing?

That's fear and concern in Dean's face... He is maybe seeing things are not good... And he's worry because CAS doesn't tell him the whole thing...

CASTIEL It was Balthazar's plan. I would have done the same thing.

Castiel is in soldier mode these words made Dean be a little mad at him...

DEAN That's not comforting, Cas.

He would expect something different from his friend, like maybe, some kind of protection, and not be used as bait. So here Dean is feeling a little disappointed.

CASTIEL When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael, we all lose. Everything.

Edlund is pointing one of the excuses for Castiel taking this kind of decisions and positions. Castiel needs desperately to win against Raphael, and he's willing to everything to fulfill that mission. Even lie to the Winchesters and work with Crowley.

DEAN Yeah, Cas. We know the stakes. That's about all you've told us!

CASTIEL I'm sorry about all this. I'll explain when I can.

Cas would love to count with them and not lie them, but he's at war.

DEAN Friggin' angels.

Edlund's Dean quote each time an angel surprisingly vanish in front of him 🤣

Jealous!Dean attacks again

In episode 6x17 "My heart will go on"

When Fate is attempting to kill Dean and Sam

In that abbandoned restaurante, i noticed something interesting. Remember I mention the colored codification started in this season? Well... We have another Destiel Coded Colored foreshadow. The burner knobs were colored in BLUE and RED, representing Dean and Cas, but toxic, angry Dean. And the whole place exploded... So... What a big and huge foreshadow for the settlement of the bid Destiel fight and break up in the following episodes, isn't?

But we're here to talk about Jealous! Dean, because we love it.

When Cas saves the boys from that explosion, this was part of the talk...

DEAN So we've pissed fate off personally.

CASTIEL If I know her – and I do – she won't stop until you're dead.

DEAN  Awesome. So what do we do?

CASTIEL Kill her.

SAM Kill fate?

CASTIEL Do you have another suggestion?

SAM No, I'm – I just mean, uh...Can you even do that?

CASTIEL Balthazar has a weapon that will work against her.

DEAN Of course he does. Yeah. Boy, that guy's just got it covered, doesn't he?You need new friends, Cas.

Do you notice the shade of jealousy here?? And then...

The dialogue between Fate and Cas showed us again how desperately was Castiel to win the war. And Balthazar was working for him. We see more about how CAS is getting into the dark side for the biggest purpose.

But even so, they showed us too, he's worry about Sam and Dean safety.

By the end of the episode, we had another dialogue between Castiel and the boys...

And Cas lies to Dean...

And then Dean makes a bad joke, and Cas dissapears again.

DEAN I'll tell you one thing about Cas, he does not appreciate the finer things.

Dean says this because isn't the first time he makes a joke and Cas vanishes. But I wonder if is related to Castiel feeling a little bit offended, and you'll know what I mean in the next point...

Dean mocking CAS, just because he enjoys it

In episode 6x19 "Mommy Dearest" we can see how since this scene happened...

So, Cas feel offended, and Sammy pointed that to Dean. Dean gets a little surprised, but...I'm sure this was very enjoyable for him, because then he'll mock him again.

Also... I want to mark here something... If Cas was able to dissapeard by flying here, I'm sure he may do it. Because... I recall that scene in the car in season 5 (last episode) when Dean mocked him about not having sense of humor, he vanished then. And the we had the Kate Winslet's breast joke, and now this one... So...

We had this one here...

Again mentioning babies, because he knows Cas got mad about that, and he repeats the action. He's enjoying it, for sure.

But we will have a sweet Innocent comment, I just wanted to share...

The thing here is the sexual innuendos in this episode, firs the famous "Cas get out of my ass!" And now this one here, so funny the double meaning... And Dean's gay panic face 🤣🤣🤣😏.

Castiel is worried about Dean

This episode showed us too, Cas in his soldier mode, can see things the boys can't. Like those little kids in that police station.

Castiel and Dean fought because CAS wasn't agreed with them in driving those kids to their home.

CAS: Dean, Dean. Millions of lives are at stakes here, not just two. Stay focused.

Castiel in soldier mode, trying to make Dean to understand the danger in his decision, but it was late, because Sam and Dean saw in those kids themselves.

DEAN: Are you kidding?

CAS: There's a greater purpose here.

Castiel's excuse to do the things he's doing.

DEAN: You know what, I-I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay? I think what I'd like to do now is save a couple of kids. If you don't mind. We'll catch up. Okay guys, let's go. C'mon. (Dean walks out. Joe, Ryan and Sam follow.)

Cas and Dean are in different pages, Cas is cold minded, first killing Lenore as it was nothing, then torturing the sheriff, and now... Because he's feeling worry about Sam and Dean...

But we know he already fix this sending Crowley.

Another thing is, when Eve attacks Dean, the only one calling his name in despair was CAS...

But when he had to heal him, he took his time, studying Eve's dead body on the ground... He was worried there... Because it supposed that monster should be alive to find Purgatory...

But then Sam reminded him Dean was hurt. So he approached him, and the way he heals him caught my attention, he out his hand on Dean's shoulder... As if he wanted to say something... But he didn't. He just healed him. Maybe with a shade of relief Dean was ok...

Just an addition...NUMBER 25

Ok, the number 25 was mentioned a couple of times in this episode. It was the age of the patient that died and the address in which Eve was.

So... What does this number means? It represents the Argonaut in the arcana. The Argonaut is a Greek hero (it could be Cas) but it also represents in numerology the number 7 that means the inner war to choose the right path and the impulsiveness as a dangerous way to make the wrong decisions... It sound familiar, isn't?

To Conclude

Dean was worried about Castiel because he saw how dangerous was Raphael.

Castiel is between his soldier duty and the love he has for the Winchesters. As we will see in the following metas, he's worried about their safety.

Dean enjoys mocking CAS, that's not news...

Jealous!Dean is delightful too...

Castiel lying to their friends for the biggest purpose, as his excuse. And his impulsiveness and desperation to win a war.

I hope you like this meta, I see you in the next Chronicle. 😘💞

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to read the previous season 6 metas, here the links...

Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI

Buenos Aires, July 31st 2019 9:14 PM

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 3: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

ao3

Chapter Summary: There's a substitute teacher, Cheryl and Toni have a plan, and Betty is a "good fucking person."

Monday, 7:17 AM

gays united

hbicheryl: good morning gays

wannabett: CHERYL

hbicheryl: good morning gays, cousin betty

hbicheryl: happy?

wannabett: yes

hisshissmotherfucker: why the fuck are you texting us at this ungodly hour

hisshissmotherfucker: go back to sleep

nopeaz: school starts in less than an hour dipshit

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

veroffica: cheryl, you're in a way better mood than normal. what happened?

hbicheryl: im offended! cant i just be in a good mood because i feel like it?

wannabett: no

hbicheryl: fine

hbicheryl: the history teacher is sick so we have a substitute

hisshissmotherfucker: FUCK YES

wannabett: im confused why is this a good thing??

spillthefogarTEA: oh betty

spillthefogarTEA: poor, sweet betty

nopeaz: substitutes are naive and cant control the class

nopeaz: so we can do whatever we want

wannabett: im not sure thats the best idea

spillthefogarTEA: choni and i have history first period with you, cooper

spillthefogarTEA: we'll show you what we mean

8:16 AM

hbicheryl + nopeaz

hbicheryl: this is even better than i thought

nopeaz: he looks so timid

hbicheryl: this is going to be so much fun

hbicheryl: lets begin phase one

8:19 AM

gays united

wannabett: is this cheryl and tonis master plan? to text out in the open?

jugheadalones: theyre cheryl and toni

wannabett: meaning??

jugheadalones: im sure theres more to it than that

goingtoheller: ^^tru

wannabett: i guess ill just have to wait and see

8:23 AM

gays united

wannabett: okay the sub is asking cheryl and toni to get off their phones

wannabett: theyre ignoring him ofc

wannabett: asdJFDJJSSSKKDXM

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT HAPPENED

spillthefogarTEA: HE GRABBED TONIS PHONE RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS SHE LOOKS SO FUCKING STARTLED

goingtoheller: LMAO

spillthefogarTEA: OH SHIT NOW HES READING CHONIS TEXTS FROM TONIS PHONE

wannabett: ...no these are fuCKING SEXTS

veroffica: I'M WHEEZING

hisshissmotherfucker: WHAT DO THE TEXTS SAY

spillthefogarTEA: "maybe after this we can sneak in a quickie between classes"

spillthefogarTEA: "i could finger you up against the bathroom wall"

spillthefogarTEA: "or i could eat you out in the storage closet"

spillthefogarTEA: "of course... youd have to be quiet"

spillthefogarTEA: "do you think you can do that? can you be a good girl for me?"

wannabett: cheryl is as red as her hair

wannabett: toni looks like she wishes the earth would swallow her whole

goingtoheller: I'M DEAD.

veroffica: THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

hbicheryl: GUYS STOP LAUGHING THIS ISNT FUNNY

goingtoheller: no, this is definitely funny.

hisshissmotherfucker: wait were the texts from toni or cheryl??

wannabett: he didnt say

goingtoheller: ooh, any theories? i'm still on team vers. cheryl, can you confirm anything?

hbicheryl: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

veroffica: i should hope so!

jugheadalones: ...i did NOT need to know this much about chonis sex life

wannabett: i guess the sub isnt as incompetent as you thought

spillthefogarTEA: lmao sucks to be you guys

spillthefogarTEA: oh shit i think hes looking at the notifications

spillthefogarTEA: "spill the... fogarty!" yep im done for youre all invited to my funeral except for choni bc they got us into this mess

wannabett: fangs' phones has been confiscated as well as cheryls in case you were wondering

wannabett: haha thats karma i guess

wannabett: fuck now he wants mine too why me??

veroffica: ...guys?

goingtoheller: that was the most exciting thing that i've witnessed secondhand in a WHILE.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hope nothing bad happened to fangs

hisshissmotherfucker: or toni or cheryl or betty

jugheadalones: i wonder whats going on there right now

veroffica: well, i don't have any classes with any of them for a while, so i won't be able to know what happened until they get their phones back.

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^

jugheadalones: ^^

goingtoheller: ^^

12:03 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: WE FINALLY GOT OUR PHONES BACK

hbicheryl: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE FREEDOM

nopeaz: now i just have to go live in a cave for a few years until everyone forgets about that debacle

spillthefogarTEA: thats not going to happen any time soon

goingtoheller: fangs is right, that was iconic.

veroffica: you two will never live that down.

jugheadalones: half of riverdale high is already speculating as to which one of you two sent the texts and which one of you received the texts

hisshissmotherfucker: cheryl, toni, care to make a statement?

hbicheryl: no

nopeaz: fuck off

goingtoheller: well, at least they seem to be on the same page.

wannabett: can we talk about whats REALLY important now??

jugheadalones: and what would that be?

wannabett: ALL FOUR OF US GOT DETENTION!!

veroffica: can the substitute even do that?

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, he wrote us all up for "repeatedly disobeying a clear set of instructions"

nopeaz: at least its only for today

wannabett: ive never gotten detention before! how the hell am i going to explain this to my mom??

hbicheryl: lmao cant relate

wannabett: im a good fucking person i dont deserve this

12:39 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: wait cheryl and toni what was your master plan?

hbicheryl: oh we were just going to sext for a while and then make out in the back of the classroom

veroffica: ...that was a letdown.

goingtoheller: yeah, i expected better.

nopeaz: we were horny when we came up with that plan okay

jugheadalones: now THAT makes more sense

spillthefogarTEA: tbh im still kinda disappointed tho

1:22 PM

gays united

wannabett: SHIT

veroffica: what's wrong, betts?

wannabett: i think the school told my mom about the detention :(

goingtoheller: what makes you think that?

wannabett: shes called me four times today already

wannabett: ive been ignoring her but knowing my mom she'll probably just show up here to talk to me

jugheadalones: she wouldnt do that

wannabett: you underestimate her

veroffica: b is right. her mom is just crazy enough to do that.

1:40 PM

gays united

wannabett: huh i wonder why the secretary is calling me to the office

wannabett: it couldnt be my mom, could it??

wannabett: who wants to bet against me?

goingtoheller: a, congrats on finally living up to your screen name!

goingtoheller: b, there is no way that i'm going to be stupid enough to take you up on that.

jugheadalones: i'll bite.

jugheadalones: 20 bucks it isnt her

wannabett: youre on jug

wannabett: be prepared to lose $20

1:55 PM

gays united

wannabett: angry-mama-cooper.jpeg

wannabett: fork over the money jones

jugheadalones: ...fuck

jugheadalones: this is what i get for believing that alice cooper wouldnt be that petty??

hbicheryl: no this is what you get for being a fool

wannabett: same thing

spillthefogarTEA: okay im sure that im going to regret asking this, but what did mrs cooper want that took fifteen minutes to talk about?

wannabett: the usual

wannabett: "youre disappointing your family, you need to do better, you dont want to end up like polly," etc.

veroffica: i'm sorry, b. :(

wannabett: it isnt your fault v

veroffica: i know, but your mom clearly isn't sorry for the crazy expectations she puts on you because polly didn’t turn out the way she wanted, so somebody has to be. and i want that somebody to be me.

wannabett: you really think so?

veroffica: i know so.

spillthefogarTEA: thats so sweet

hbicheryl: and REALLY gay

spillthefogarTEA: ofc

veroffica: *bi, and betty and i are just best friends.

wannabett: ^^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets and i are best friends and if i had said something like that to him yall wouldnt think that we were just being friends

wannabett: thats bc you and sweet pea are super gay for each other

hisshissmotherfucker: false

spillthefogarTEA: ...you dont think that im hot? :(

hisshissmotherfucker: no i think that youre the hottest person in the whole damn universe

hisshissmotherfucker: but that doesnt mean that im in love with you

hbicheryl: babe do you see this shit??

nopeaz: i see it all right

hbicheryl: im so glad that we arent like that

nopeaz: me too :)

hbicheryl: i love you toni

nopeaz: i love you too cher

veroffica: awww, that was adorable.

veroffica: but also: what will it take to convince all of you that betty and i are telling the truth??

goingtoheller: nothing, ever. you are both so clearly whipped it isn't even funny.

jugheadalones: like cheryl and toni levels of whipped

hbicheryl: except you two arent even dating!!

nopeaz: the same goes for sweets and fangs too

hisshissmotherfucker: whatever

spillthefogarTEA: ^^^

wannabett: ^^^

veroffica: ^^^

jugheadalones: why do i even try anymore

2:29 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: well its time to go into the hellish pit the school calls detention

wannabett: i wonder if theyll make us do manual labor

spillthefogarTEA: sweet pea practically lived in detention at southside high, ask him

hisshissmotherfucker: thats true

hisshissmotherfucker: and yes sometimes they do make you do some janitorial work around the school

hbicheryl: oh my fucking god im going to die

jugheadalones: stop being so extra cheryl

goingtoheller: no never stop being extra cheryl it is the best part of this chat

hbicheryl: for your information hobo i will never ever stop being dramatic and if you say that again i will fight you

hbicheryl: and dont worry keller i wont change

nopeaz: thats my girl!!

hisshissmotherfucker: as i was saying

hisshissmotherfucker: youll probably just sit in a room and do your homework

hbicheryl: thats even worse

2:34 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: THEY WANT TO TAKE OUR PHONES

hbicheryl: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THIS SWEET PEA

hisshissmotherfucker: i thought it would be a nice surprise

nopeaz: screw you

hbicheryl: IF I NEVER GET OUT OF HERE TELL MY MOTHER THAT SHES AN AWFUL BITCH AND THAT I HATE HER

veroffica: sure thing, blossom.

3:00 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: MY PHONE IS BACK I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS SCHOOL IS SHIT AND DETENTION FUCKING SUCKS

goingtoheller: that's a lot of moods.

jugheadalones: ^^

veroffica: "that's a lot of moods" is just cheryl's personality in a nutshell.

wannabett: tru

hisshissmotherfucker: tru

nopeaz: tru

hbicheryl: tru

Notes: Writing choni's sexts was the best part of this chapter, honestly. Also, I noticed that I refer to Cheryl and Toni as 'choni' an awful lot, which probably has direct correlation to my laziness. I know that this chapter has a lot less to do with the overlying plot, and that's because I'm trying something different. Tell me if you like it this way or if you want me to go back to more plot-heavy chapters.