#so we just have peony intervention instead for now

[spiritsncrystals]

New Forging bonds Shitposts

[botanistlester]

The Most Beautiful Forbidden Fruit

Summary: In a world where witches and humans live side-by-side, a war breaks out after the two species procreate, producing bloodthirsty children. As a result, the government puts laws into place: Witches and humans must never fall in love or bear children. It’s a rule that Dan Howell and his family have lived hand-in-hand with, even going so far as to make sure that Dan never has prolonged contact with the other species. When Dan goes to his favourite magic shop one day, he meets the new employee, Phil Lester. A human who he can’t seem to get rid of. Warnings: violence, prejudice/discrimination, burning at the stake, mentions of death, blood, alcohol A/N: Holy fuck. it has been WAY too long since i've attacked this fic. i'm seriously so sorry, guys. I've had a lot going on recently and this semester at uni was absolute hell. I'm hoping to get back to this fic soon as i absolutely love the idea so much and have most of it planned out. Thanks so much for sticking with me anyways! Love you all!

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Masterpost

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Chapter Seven

It’s been weeks since Dan had first met Phil and he was already starting to feel considerably more relaxed around him. He didn’t get as worked up whenever Phil’s skin brushed against his own and he didn’t even panic all that much either. Of course, he still had those moments of anxiety where he wondered how he was even talking to a human, but that quickly passed when Phil’s gentle blue eyes glinted back at him.

Because that was why he was talking to a human. Phil was hands-down one of the nicest people Dan had ever met and he slowly found that he wanted to know more about him. But how could Dan bring up that fact without utterly embarrassing himself? Or making it seem like Dan wanted to go on a date? He didn’t want to go on a date. Not with Phil. Not with anybody. But mainly not with another human when it risked Dan losing his wonderful powers.

“Dude,” Louise said flatly one night as she was closing up the shop. She gave Dan an unimpressed look as he balanced on the edge of the glass display cabinet. “You gotta ask him to hang out sometime. I know you’re still going through your weird anti-human thing, but you live in the same building for god’s sake. You already know you have a lot in common because you gushed about Muse and anime for two hours straight. But even so, every time you see him, you look like you’re going to shit your pants.”

Dan glared at her. “I do n-!”

Louise stood up straight, pulling her wand out of her pocket and slapping it on the wooden wall with a loud thwak! “You do. And I think it’s time for an intervention.” Before Dan could ask what in the hell she meant by that, the tip of her wand was glowing brightly and Dan’s phone was flying out of his hands and into Louise’s own.

“Hey!” Dan screeched, lunging towards her. She stopped him with a simple flick of her wand and he was suspended in air, stuck, watching as she easily unlocked his phone and visibly typed out a message. “Can you at least let me know what you’re saying?” Dan whined, pouting his lip out and feeling fear flash through him so strong that he wondered how he hadn’t been flung backwards with the force of it.

Louise rolled her eyes. There was the distinctive noise of the sent message tone going off on Dan’s phone and he blanched. “I just asked him if he wanted to go to a human-friendly witch bar with you tonight.”

“A bar? Tonight?!”

“A bar,” Louise said slowly, as if Dan was stupid. He wasn’t stupid, just nervous. “Tonight.” Dan was about to curse at her, already planning which spell he was going to cast on her for revenge that night, when his phone let out a shrill whine. He got a text. Louise’s eyes immediately lit up and she pumped her fists in the air. Dan’s heart sank and his body lowered to the floor with it, finally in control of his limbs again.

He snatched the phone out of Louise’s hands, heart pounding in his chest.

Phil Lester That sounds great! I’ll be at yours around nine?

Dan looked at the clock. It was eight. He cursed under his breath. “Mother fucking bitch,” Dan hissed, scrabbling around for the rest of his supplies that he’d bought. He was considerably low on dragon’s breath and poison ivy so he’d run by the Witch’s Cauldron for some and ended up staying until close just chatting up with his best friend. But now it seemed as if his actions were being payed for and he didn’t know whether to be pissed or anxious. “I hate you so much, you know that?” Dan growled, stalking towards the door.

Louise’s laugh followed him out as the door swung shut behind me. “You’ll be thanking me later!” She called. Dan doubted it.

Don’t get him wrong, Phil was a nice guy. That much was obvious. But he was a human. Dan and humans didn’t get along. He didn’t mind them, of course. He just got so nervous and became a bumbling fool around them, not really knowing what to do or how he should act. Should he talk about the new bottle of fish eyes he had to get for one of his potions? Should he talk about how his cat kept throwing up after Dan accidentally burnt a shitton of sage?

Dan wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t know because he’d never had to deal with this sort of thing before.

He paused outside of his apartment for a bit too long, trying to calm himself down. He couldn’t be worked up when Phil got here because it would make him more of a bumbling fool in the first place. So he just breathed for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to pretend like Phil was just another witch.

Except he wasn’t. And Dan was screwed.

Chamomile pounced on him as soon as the door opened, making him cough as cat hair flung into his mouth. “Dan! I smell anxiety and teenage hormones!”

“What the fuck do you mean by teenage hormones?” Dan grumbled, detaching his cat from his face and setting her on his shoulder instead. He made his way to the bathroom, making sure that his hair was presentable and he didn’t look like a complete funeral. He was wearing all black, as per usual, but he decided not to change anyways.

“You smell like angst and worries. What’s going on?”

Dan sighed and sorted his hair out, splashing cold water over his cheeks to try and calm himself down. “I’m going to a witch bar with Phil.”

Chamomile gaped at him. “But- that’s awesome! You can finally get to know him better!”

Dan didn’t think she understands. But then again, she is a cat so what could he expect really? “He’s just-”

“A human, I know. But who cares? I thought you were over that.”

“I just get nervous,” Dan mumbled.

Chamomile sighed and laid down on his shoulders so she was literally a giant fluffy scarf around his neck. It was comforting, especially with the way her purrs felt like a little massage on his skin. “Just be yourself. There’s nothing to be worried about. You and Phil have been getting along great and he’s a really nice guy. I’m sure there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door and Dan visibly paled. “It’s Phil,” he said dumbly.

“So open the door,” Chamomile replied gently.

Dan did. Even though he knew who it was, he was still surprised to see Phil’s face staring straight back at him. His eyes were shining and his cheeks were tinted a nice peony colour. “Dan!” He exclaimed, and Dan had a moment where he could have sworn Phil was going to hug him.

He didn’t, and Dan didn’t know why he was a bit disappointed by that. “Hey, Phil. You want to come in or should we just go to the bar now?”

Phil shrugged, grinning. “Up to you. I’m fine with leaving now if you’re ready though.”

Dan agreed. What else could he do now, anyways? He’d already had his daily dose of anxiety, and now it was just time to act on it. Without any further contemplation, Dan grabbed his jacket and followed Phil into the cool air of the night. He’d decided to go to a fairly close human-friendly bar called The Brew, which he’d only been to once. From what he remembered, it was a very nice place with decent alcohol. To humans, it’d probably be about ten thousand times better than just regular bars, but to Dan it wasn’t anything unusual.

So when they walked in, Dan couldn’t help his initial first reaction at being surprised when Phil let out an amazed gasp. “What?” Dan asked, eyebrows raised with amusement.

Phil was gaping, his mouth dropped in awe. His eyes were shining, glittering in the dancing lights, and he looked even more pale in the darkness. “This is… this is bloody amazing!”

The remark made Dan try to look at it from a human’s perspective when he took another glance around. There was fog that crept over the floor without the usage of any fog machines. Lanterns floated in the air, flashing different colours, and there was the faint smell of lavender and vanilla in the air despite the sweaty and alcohol-ridden bodies. Artwork hung from the walls and the portraits moved, seemed to be dancing with the throng of people. As they walked further inside, they were each handed a crystal necklace that glowed in the dark. Phil’s crystal was blue and Dan’s was pink, just like his wand.

Dan smiled a bit, finally understanding why Phil was in such shock about this. Compared to a normal human bar, this one was like a fantasy come to life. But to Dan? This was normal. It was fucking amazing.

“Well are you going to keep standing there?” Dan teased, grabbing Phil’s wrist and tugging him over to where he saw the bartender balancing six shot glasses on each arm, a bottle of vodka magically pouring itself into them. “Or are we going to have some fun?”

Needless to say, Dan didn’t have to ask Phil twice before he was ordering six shots of whiskey. The only problem that Dan’s ever found with a witch bar is that the alcohol was way too strong. Compared to a human bar, Dan got blackout drunk far quicker than he’d ever anticipated so he always tried not to go over three shots of whatever the hell he was drinking. He tried to tell Phil but before he could get the words out, Phil was on his fifth shot and was giggling over the stupidest things that he could think of. Dan couldn’t say much because he was giggly as well, just a little bit less so than his human friend.

“There’s a freaking goose on the dance floor!” Phil cackled.

Dan looked. There was a fucking goose on the dance floor. He snorted, accidentally inhaling some of his drink through his nose and coughing violently. “Why- why’s there a goose in here?” Dan snickered, wiping off his nose and putting his hands on his cheeks to try to cool himself down. It was getting hot in here.

“You’re the witch, you tell me!” Phil shot back. He was laughing so hard that he leaned against Dan, the bare skin of their arms touching and sending a weird buzzing feeling through Dan’s entire body. He tried not to pay too much attention to it. Instead, he continued to stare at the goose, trying to figure out why there was a fucking goose in there.

Eventually they downed the rest of their beverages and got up to join the goose on the dance floor. They danced and laughed and spun around until Dan could have sworn he was going to be sick, and he had to wipe his eyes when the goose suddenly turned into a person. He almost had forgotten that witches were a thing at that point, but realised all too late that a witch had probably turned the human into a goose for some odd reason.

He didn’t care. He was too drunk to think about it that hard. And Phil was too, by the looks of it.

“This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” Phil yelled over the booming music. He was doing a weird dance move that made him look like a white dad at a barbeque, but Dan wasn’t judging him because he probably looked the same.

Dan grinned back at him, watching as the floating lanterns made Phil’s eyes shine in the darkness. “Me too, I haven’t felt this relaxed in ages.” He threw his head back and laughed, almost stumbling over, but Phil was right there to catch him, to steady him and make sure he didn’t fall. Instead, Dan was collapsing into Phil, his head on his shoulder and a stupid grin on his face that wouldn’t go away. His voice was breathy when he said, “I guess humans aren’t so bad, are they?”

Phil giggled and his lips were right by Dan’s ear so he could hear him. “That’s what everyone’s been trying to tell you, you idiot.”

When they stumbled to Dan’s flat at one o’clock in the morning, Dan didn’t have to think twice before inviting Phil to stay. Even though they were both pretty trashed, it was entirely too innocent as Dan fell onto his bed, watching through half lidded eyes as Phil stumbled onto the other side of the bed. He didn’t have the heart to tell Phil to get off of his bed, not when he seemed so tired that he looked as if he was going to pass out right then and there.

So Dan just let him stay. He’d had a great time that night anyways and he figured it was only normal for friends to sleep in the same bed together. Because that’s what friends did, and Phil was Dan’s friend.

Friends. The word lifted a huge weight off of Dan’s shoulders and suddenly he wondered why he was so afraid of humans in the first place.

And if Chamomile was so quiet as Dan drifted to bed, he didn’t even notice. He was too tired, too drunk, to care at all.