#so uhhhhhhhhhhh :-) thats my first long term consistent and deeply tangible delusion ever.
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Ohhh. I'm like crazy for real okay. Well that's not very good! I thought I just had a little psychosis and now I come to find I have a lot of very detail oriented psychosis!
#turns out I've just been hallucinating coughing up concerning brown/gray/black shit. like i have been coughing up mucus#but my wife reality checked me last night and now it looks... completely different?#this would also explain why; in hindsight; the exact concerning property of the mucus changed as my anxiety changed.#so uhhhhhhhhhhh :-) thats my first long term consistent and deeply tangible delusion ever.#ive had anxious delusions and even some unconvincing but still believed delusions about being a corpse/in mid rot#but this is a straight up months long very very very very convincing delusion of coughing up dirt and blood and mold.#WHICH I HAVENT BEEN DOING APPARENTLY???
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