#so tht i understand fully what they want. i dont even kno if its the same evaluator each time

[nonranghaes]

heads up! college(/grad) student au. technically mentions of death/murder but its not serious at all. girl help (<- in assignment revision hell)

"seungmin?" you slump into your chair. "if i asked you to kill me, would you do it?"

seungmin looks up, staring at you over the rim of his glasses. he glances toward your screen, frowning at the fact you're in the way before he finally leans forward in his chair. he lights up with recognition, immediately grinning at the page you've been looking at. "depends."

"not even a yes?" you scoff, rolling your eyes. "i thought you loved me."

it earns a snort from him as he rolls his chair over next to yours. "is it the same sections as last time?"

you somehow manage to slump further, like you're a balloon losing its helium. "i fixed one of them. the other one is the same, though."

"let me read it this time after you fix it," he leans forward, reading what the evaluator comments were. "i'll help."

you pull yourself back into your chair at that, straightening up. okay. if seungmin's going to give you feedback this time... then maybe you can get through this after all.

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

[thecasinowolf]

Talking abt character analysises and shit below the cut enjoy

im workin on th seth playlist next but u kno who im not looking forward 2 makin a playlist for Osiris hes so hard to read i cannot get a grip on his character im already terrible at reading characters bc i view characters like im a child every character is black and white yttd has helped me break tht mindset a bit bc every character is SO morally grey like u cannot fully like or dislike th characters they r so complex and so im lowkey trying to understand the Undertronic characters better so i can make these playlists but i dont understand Osiris i dont get him i dont understand who are you what are you hhhhggnnnnhgghh- maybe i should do a character analysis on every character not that i know how to do those bc again i cant read characters well at ALL i literally view characters like this:

like i just view every character w such a concrete face value mindset like apep, seris, zeph: lil uwu smol babeyyyy hex n chro: serious business boys cider: narcissist- th hangus: bad stinky boooooo get off th stage but then there’s osiris hes like ????????????????????????????? and like making th apep playlist made me think a few things abt his character like Yeah i think hes a cute lil soft uwu baby but also think abt -He was gonna go along w osiris’ plan to eat zeph for money -he literally ate aksemhat’s livestock and wanted to be worshiped as god (tho its speculated tht was actually seth n not apep but still) -he was probably gonna murder zeph for stealing from him but then like u cant even think thts bad bc after knocking zeph into the cactuses he was like “oh noooo o baby im so sorry tht must hurt here lemme help u lemme make ur friends some tea lemme be a good host” and im i making these kinnie playlists have given me a lot to think about man idk head hurt