#so this morning in my sleep ig i sweated buckets and then it got too cold

[lunar-fey]

oughhh i feel so sick

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Cole is a Self Destructive Dumbass

(But it’s okay the ninja love him anyway)

SO FOR SOME BACKSTORY

I have been challenged. Indirectly. But still, I have been challenged. How, you may be asking?

Well, I’ll show you

do you see that? That is a clear indirect challenge.

So naturally I immediately forced myself to write some hurt/comfort with some legitimate comfort in there just to show that I could. So there @cakeforcole​, I can do it!

Who wins in this? Uhh.

Everyone ig

Anyway here have this ily

Cole has an off day that the guys mistake as him being sick. Except it’s a little bit more than that.

2161 words

Cole woke up earlier than normal. His head was pounding with a headache, but it could’ve been worse. It was just an annoying little knocking in his skull, like when Jay tried to talk when everyone else was trying to sleep. If it was actively ignored, it wasn’t terrible.

He sighed, glancing at the clock. He had about an hour before anyone else would be waking up. He sat up, groaning quietly, his head spinning with the motion. He was just going to take a nice, long, hot shower. That would make him feel better, surely.

He didn’t actually end up taking that long, probably because he was used to rushing (thanks to Kai and his bathroom hogging). Still, he felt refreshed. Although the steam hadn’t done much to help with his minor congestion. Stupid allergy season.

He still had maybe a half hour before anyone else would be waking up. Still, for some reason he was way more tired than he had been when he’d first woken up, so maybe he could go back to sleep until he actually needed to be awake. Even thirty minutes would be likely to help a little.

He crawled back into bed, shivering despite the warm temperature they tended to keep the room at. Above him, Jay shifted, but it sounded like he was still asleep. That was good, he’d feel bad if he woke anyone up.

Before long he drifted back to sleep.

It felt like no time passed at all before the alarm clock was blaring. He faintly heard shuffling, but his head hurt, and the last thing he wanted to do was be awake.

“Hey, dude, you gotta get up.” he heard from somewhere above him. 

“I don’ wanna,” he mumbled, barely able to get the words out. He was just barely awake enough to hear and respond, and that was already too much.

Something shuffled, it kinda sounded like the guys were talking, but he was already drifting off again.

Out of nowhere, his blanket was dragged off the bed.

“Nooo,” he groaned, blearily opening his eyes before they got any other ideas, like turning on the lights or splashing him with water or something. He didn’t doubt they would, because they’d done it to each other before.

“How late did you stay up?” Jay asked, already dressed and ready for the day and way too awake for six o’clock in the morning.

“I need coffee,” he grumbled instead of answering, shuffling into the kitchen. Truth be told, he had no idea he’d stayed up, but it couldn’t have been that late. He recalled drifting off pretty quickly, actually.

He coughed into his arm. That was probably nothing, though, just a little tickle in his throat. He just needed some water.

As he was waiting for the coffee maker to do its thing, Zane was starting on breakfast. The smells were unusually vivid for some reason. It kind of hurt his head.

It was probably just that headache from earlier making a comeback.

The thought of the coffee he was making sent his stomach churning. Okay, maybe he would skip that for today. He’d be fine without it.

He was up first for training Lloyd today. They were going to be practicing simple hand to hand combat, not using powers whatsoever, just because you could never know if something might happen.

“Alright, you’re gonna try to pin me,” Cole said, pausing to clear his throat. “The only rule is no powers, got it?”

The little ball of green nodded, practically bouncing with energy. Cole wished he had the energy to think about acting like that.

“Ready… go!” Zane yelled from the side, watching with the others as the pair fought. It was rare that Lloyd won, so this was probably going to be easy.

The only problem was that Cole kind of felt like trash, and the movements he was going through were making him dizzy, and suddenly he was on the ground with a nine year old on top of him.

He groaned, and Lloyd hopped up, triumphant. Cole, however, made no move to stand. Instead, he rolled over, pushed himself up with his hands, and threw up. 

“Oh, ew.” Lloyd said, taking a few steps back.

He was shaking violently, and if he didn’t move or something, he was going to fall into his own vomit. He gagged a few times, distantly hearing the others concerned cries, but he was more focused on the sweat coating his body and the hair matted to his face and the food he’d eaten last night that was coming back up.

Finally, when it felt like he was done, he crawled away and dropped onto the floor.

“Lloyd, go get a bucket, okay?” Zane said, kneeling beside Cole and feeling his forehead. “Jay, get a cold rag please.”

The two ninja raced off to find whatever it was Zane had just said.

“‘M fine,” Cole groaned, trying to sit up. Zane gently pushed him back down.

“Dude, Lloyd had you down in less than a minute.” Kai said, staying far across the room from the other two and making no move to get any closer.

“You have a fever,” Zane said, brushing the hair out of Cole’s eyes. “And you’ve just thrown up. I am not what you would call a medical expert, but I am well aware that those do not usually mean you are fine.”

Cole would have protested if his stomach didn’t convulse a little. He struggled to sit up, gagged a few times, and threw up once again.

“How are we coming on that bucket?” Kai yelled, leaning back to peer through the door. 

“No, no, I’m fine,” Cole protested again, heaving. 

“You’re sick, stupid.” Kai said, cringing at the mess on the floor. “Stop with that. The “I’m fine” thing, not the vomiting. Well, it’d be cool if you stopped that too, but you can’t control that one.”

“Thanks, Kai,” Cole groaned, “very helpful.”

“Yeah, I try.”

Okay, but there was absolutely no way that he was sick. Cole didn’t get sick. He must have just eaten something bad. He’d be fine in an hour, tops.

An hour later he was piled under three blankets, shivering like it was snowing indoors. He was absolutely, positively freezing, despite the fact that he was sweating. That didn’t even make sense!

“How are you feeling?” Zane asked, walking in with a box of crackers and a cup of ginger ale, Jay and Kai right behind him.

He didn’t need this, because he wasn’t sick. “I’m fine,” he insisted again, sitting up further to prove it.

“You’re definitely not fine.” Kai said, unhelpfully.

“Stop saying that!”

He was fine, he was fine, completely and absolutely totally fine. The others didn’t know what they were talking about. He. Was. Fine.

He was met with concerned looks from each of his friends.

“Just… go train Lloyd,” he said.

“Nah, he’s excited to have a day off, and we need to keep an eye on you.” Kai shrugged, sitting down in a chair in the corner of the room as if to say he was not leaving.

“You don’t have to, though.” He wasn’t sick.

“Yeah, well we’re going to anyway.”

“You really don’t have to.” It would be better if they would just leave him alone.

Cole hated being seen like this. He hated feeling this weak, this helpless. Worse, he hated being mistakenly identified as sick, because he wasn’t. The guys were just making a big deal out of nothing.

“What’s going on?” Jay asked, legitimately concerned. Great. That was exactly what he didn’t want to happen.

“Nothing, I just—” he paused to cough, nearly choking on it. “You guys don’t need to watch me.”

“That had better not be an insult to my nursing skills. I’ve been taking care of Nya since she was in diapers, and let me tell you, I’m kind of the greatest nurse ever.” If his complete avoidance of Cole while he was puking was anything to go off of, he wasn’t in very good hands.

He coughed again, his eyes watering. The problem was that instead of going away, his eyes continued to water. In fact, they watered until they were leaking. And now it looked like he was crying (looked like, he definitely wasn’t actually crying, no, he wasn’t weak, he wasn’t crying).

“Cole’s what’s wrong?” Zane asked, combing his fingers through his hair gently. “You’re very obviously bothered. Why?”

Okay, maybe he was really insecure, and getting sick made him feel weak, and feeling weak made him feel worthless, but he was pretty sure that was totally normal. What wasn’t normal was that getting sick scared him. It reminded him too much of his mom, because it had started like a normal illness for her. They’d thought it was just a bad cold, but then it had escalated and she had died—

Okay, yeah, he was crying, but maybe they would shrug it off as random hysteria?

“We want to help, Cole.” Jay said, sitting on the edge of the bed carefully. “Please tell us?”

Telling them would make it worse. If they knew, then they’d see that he couldn’t handle his dumb emotions, and then they’d hate him, because he was so stupid.

“I’m fine,” he said, but through the tears and the lack of clearing his throat, he sounded like a glitching, dying, robotic frog.

“Please, Cole. If it would make you more comfortable, you could tell only one of us. We just want to help you.”

He sniffled. They weren’t going to let this go, were they? Fine, he would just try to explain in the barest, most minimal, most vague way he could.

Which unfortunately didn’t work out.

His emotions came spilling out, words choked out through sobbing gasps, and he was shocked they were even able to understand him. He wished they weren’t able to.

“Just leave me alone,” he said when he was finally able to breathe again. His friends hadn’t said anything, and why would they? He was stupid and hysterical and paranoid, and they were probably trying to figure out how to tell him gently that he was weak.

“You know,” Kai said, as if he were making casual conversation, “I still hate when Nya goes anywhere. I know she’s going to come back, but it doesn’t help much. There’s always just this thought… what if she doesn’t?” He was looking down, staring at his hands, but his words were sincere.

If Cole knew Kai, and by now he’d say he did, it almost sounded like… he was admitting to being scared. Kai? Scared? Admitting that he was scared? That just didn’t happen. He was probably hallucinating.

“It’s not stupid to let things like that affect you,” Kai continued, having paused to… probably to curse himself for being so awkward about being so vulnerable. Or even being so vulnerable in the first place. Cole had to be hallucinating. Kai didn’t do vulnerable. 

“Trauma sticks with you for years,” Zane said, “and it does not make you weaker. It makes you stronger for being able to carry on.”

Except he wasn’t able to carry on. He couldn’t even get sick without fearing for his life, and every time anyone else got sick, he feared for theirs. What about that made him “stronger”? None of it.

He hadn’t even realized he had voiced these thoughts until Zane carefully pulled him into a hug.

“Oh, Cole,” Zane muttered, quiet and sad. “You are most certainly not weak.” But he was. But Zane also didn’t lie… “And even the fact that you were able to tell us about this says a lot about your character.”

He hadn’t even meant to tell them in the first place. But… something in him was glad that they knew. They weren’t belittling him for it. They were being… kind, and understanding. Even Kai, who tended to shy away from talking about emotions. In fact, he had been the one to share his own problems.

They really didn’t think any less of him for being scared.

“It does?” He found himself asking, just to make sure, even though he was scared to hear the answer.

“Of course it does, Dirtclod.” Jay said, and Cole couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. “And besides, you’re one of the strongest people I know, if not the strongest. This doesn’t change that.”

The tears that he had only barely managed to stop just came back again, but this time in a less negative light. His friends actually cared about him to the point where they understood. They didn’t care that he was a little bit messed up. They actually loved him.

He’d never had friends like that before.

“Oh no, was it something I said? Crap, I’m sorry—” Jay said, backtracking quickly, but Cole stopped him with a choked laugh between his cries.

“You guys are the best.”

[thestudyfeels]

🎨 Graphic made by @indiaisstudying​: India is brilliant my pals, and I recommend checking her out for studyblr/artblr inspiration. My girl tHIRIVES.

The singular takeaway from this post: Do a creative binge. Much productive than a Netflix binge. Period.

Two months ago, I reached my peak when I coined the term ‘bood day’ (a bad to good day, in my article How To Flip A Bad Day By 180°). Today, puppies and kittens, I present to you— a creative binge.

*crickets chirping, that one dude in the audience scratches his nose and turns away* 

…This one actually works but okay, we get it, y'all are bitches. But gonna do my job anyway– if you're a creator reading this, please do a creative binge at least once every two weeks.

I started doing these binges two months ago, and I've seen a VAST improvement in my creative energy. I feel my commercial voice coughing and saying hello to the mic, so before I start listing side-effects for a sponsored pill, let's dive into the basics. 

🍵 Quick PSA — 

↪ JOIN MY TAGLIST? If you aren't on this yet, please get on it, it'll mean a lot to me! By joining, you get a new article on lifestyle design & productivity every week.

100 Days of Sweat: This challenge starts TOMORROW (10th of April), so if you wanna hustle on your bod this year, join us! Accountability does crazy things.

Ever questioned your life, experienced writer's block, painter’s pain or blogger’s… block? (Narrator: aaaand she's back to advertising.) A creative binge helps deal with fixing exactly that.

“A creative binge is based off the equation of quality in = quality out.”

A lot of creators feel that they're supposed to magically create out of their head, and that's just ridiculous. It's ludicrous considering you don't know shit, read shit, do shit and watch shit.

Even to write fiction, my pal, you'll have to expose yourself to the world to know its ways, read great books and take tips (not to mention stock up on coffee, and prepare to cry a lot) before you start cranking out the pages. Everything you create is ultimately inspired by the Ways Of The World. (And that's a fantastic novel title)

So in short, you’ve got to consume content, to make content. And in a creative binge, you conscious choose content that'll help you create. Genius, I know!

Okay, but what if I'm not a creator?

Brilliant question! Wanna become more valuable and leave the people you interact with better? Take a creative binge.

Allow me an elaboration: Take a janitor and a neurosurgeon. The said janitor is paid much less than the neurosurgeon. Why is that? Is the neurosurgeon a better person? That's debatable. Is the janitor less efficient at his work? Again, debatable. The primal reason lies in the neurosurgeon acquiring more valuable skills than the janitor. Society rewards them by paying more since there are less folks who can do what the neurosurgeon does.

To recap: In order to be indispensable in the role you play (whatever it is, a student, calligrapher, CEO of the Janitor Club), you HAVE to become valuable. Grow your curiosity & know more than yo’ buddies (also bring more value than anybody else). And to become valuable, you consume value. Tada!

(And if you still ain't convinced, I'll pull out the Netflix card. You'd really rather watch shows? Or binge YouTube? Than learn a new skill, or develop existing ones? Question your priorities, my friend. Victims love entertainment, victors love learning.)

Cool, you're joining in then! Not that creative binge is NOT an entertainment binge. It's a value providing binge. What you ‘consume’ has to bring you something in return— whether that's creative inspiration, motivation or skills. *Swing arms* yup! We’re one gay, productive household. Someone remind Hallie to buy the groceries though, the Cheerios are going mouldy.

By my dictionary, a creative binge is a slot of time, 1½ to 3 hours I'd say, when you watch/read/listen to some good stuff.  Basically, binge content. 

THE 101 OF A CREATIVE BINGE 

🌿 Basics:

I conduct one every week (usually Wednesday mornings), lasting around 1½ to 2 hours.

I'll also keep a notepad and a pen nearby, to take notes and jot ideas as they come. Again, this is NOT an entertainment binge, even though it's a chill job.

Sometimes I'll get passive things done (like wiping my desk, eating breakfast and taking out textbooks) while watching. We maximize our time. 

🌿 What Do I Watch: 

The stuff I watch falls into 3 categories: creative/humor (for inspiration), business/skills (for skills) & motivation (for, um, motivation). Fair warning though, a lot of the stuff these folks make overlap, but that's alright. This is just a rough demarcation. 

Creative/Humor: some YesTheory, maybe some MacDoesIt, sprinkle in some Ryan Higa, perhaps an episode of a show with an amazing script, some stand-up comedy from my favorites. Or maybe trash that and just watch Sherlock. (Geez, Netflix, I hate you, I love you.)

Skills: Gary Vee, some artist channels, that random video on how to thrift shop even though I don't shop.

Motivation: Be Inspired, Tom Bilyeu, Mel Robbins and random videos which look nice.

🌿 What Do I Listen To: 

Oof, I love music tremendously! If you're a pal, you know it's time to RUN when I come around being like, “soo, I was wondering what's your favourite–”.

Yet, during a creative binge, I'll only listen to stuff that 1) inspires me, or 2) is creative in a way I can't explain. Some recommendations! 

Hype music:

The Score

NF

Imagine Dragons

Creative music:

Billie Eilish

Lana Del Rey

Sleeping At Last

Lorde

Conan Gray

Harry Styles 

🌿 What Do I Read: 

Usually the book that I'm reading at that point if I'm being lazy.

POETRY: It's my belief, but poetry is a writer's most powerful device. There's a novel to be said in a simple sonnet.

FICTION: I dig great fiction. PS, please read (and sob over) Away Childish Things, by @letteredlettered. It changed me as a person, changed my entire perspective about kids. I'm much kinder and softer now, and my pimples are gone. I'll literally never get over drarry too, so thanks lettered, love you.

ARTICLES: Bookmarked psychology, productivity & fitness articles on Medium. Maybe check out James Clear's & Gary Vee’s blog for new posts.

Because I wanna drive this home, here's what I did in my last creative binge as a concrete example —

Care to Note that:

All of the stuff I consume is pre-planned.

I add videos throughout the week to my Creative Binge playlist on YouTube, download albums from Amazon Music and articles for offline reading.

DON'T leave this to the last moment, you'll more likely pick entertainment vs learning then. 

Watched–

Why I'm done trying to be "man enough"

Redecorating my room 2017 (I wanna decorate my room this year so)

How to Squat Properly (I’m trying lmao)

Giving a 9-Year-Old Her Dream Job for 24hrs!! (I stan YesTheory so much)

How To NOT Be A Starving Artist (A mood. I love Sorelle)

Couple more, I could go on & on, but you get me.

Listened–

Every song on YouTube by Bruno Major

Born to die: paradise version (album) by Lana Del Rey 

Read–

Articles from James Clear's blog — (x) (x)

Articles from Gary Vee’s blog — (x) (x)

HIIT workouts for beginners

All of this birthed–

Ideas for future articles, titled: How To Be Great & Solomon Letters #2: Question Your Faith, Not Your Dreams, among others.

A small poem about faith– posted on my IG, check it out!

New content ideas, like value chains (upcoming!)

Bunch of other small rants for everyday posting

Some business and life advice that might be useful later.

Gotta say goodbye now! (literally too... but post about it coming on 12th so wait for it) Try this one out, and let me know how your binge goes (tag it with #team conquer). Mine usually end with a bucketful of philo notes, a recharged left (right? psychology? idk) brain, and a fresh perspective towards the rest of my week. 

This is the #1 strategy I've adopted to sustain creative energy when it's sapped all around by negativity and school & I promise it helps. No side effects, no sponsored pills needed. Thanks for reading!

Related: How To Get Back Into The Creative Process (if you're in a blogger's block or experiencing painter's pain)

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me— hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! Major articles, like this one, come out every Thursday! Join my taglist by to read them when they do. I also post daily wins, journal entries, rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I vow to be the loudest cheerleader. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon. 

Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

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