#so they’re about 2 cups of butter a ‘stick’ and I having no context for what an American stick of butter was did not know it meant 1/2 cup

[seeminglyseph]

The danger zone of buying craft patterns online is sometimes they will recommend very specific craft supplies that are only available in their country and suddenly I have to figure out what the equivalent exchange of craft supplies is for random American brands and shit that’s available in Canada because I just wanna go to Michael’s not deal with shipping, duties, taxes and the possibility of border security deciding it’s suspicious that I’m ordering yarn and holding it for 6 months until I lose interest in the hobby.

[castletown-cafe]

Castletown Café Episode 5: Java Cookies

This week on Castletown Cafe, we’re making something that was cut from the game: Java Cookies. I’m sure many of you in the fandom might be excited to see me include cut content, and we have all the dataminers out there to thank for their hard work at uncovering early concepts and all kinds of items and ideas that never made it in to the final game.

I love the concept of the Java Cookies. Not only are they a reference to JavaScript, they’re also described to be a delicious coffee and chocolate cookie, and words come out as you eat them. According to the game’s files, these wordy cookies would have healed Kris more than any other party member, due to their love of chocolate, which I can’t blame. Although, since they’re similar to CD Bagels, which play music when you feed them to your party members, I wonder if these Java Cookies were an early version of those. And given that these would have healed Kris more than anyone else, and adding the context of a certain…..alternate route….hm…..I wonder indeed.

But, never mind all that! If you ask me, a real-life Java Cookie sounds like your basic chocolate chip cookie with the addition of coffee flavor via instant espresso powder. Which sounds to me like a match made in [[HEAVEN, ARE YOU WATCHING?]]!

…..wait, what was that?

Anyways, it’s a shame these cookies never saw the light of day. But I can imagine these being served at the Color Café! I’m sure they’d go nicely with a cup of that Personalized Tea that the Addisons sell. At least we’ve got them available in our Castletown Café - complete with recipe.

It’s super simple: just your basic chocolate chip cookie recipe with the addition of espresso powder! Mine’s a small-batch recipe, but it still yields about two dozen cookies. Need more for a party? This recipe is easy to double!

JAVA COOKIES

Ingredients:

1 & 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

2 tsp instant espresso powder (if you want it stronger, add a third teaspoon)

1 stick (aka 1/2 cup) butter, softened

1/2 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed

1/4 cup granulated white sugar

1 egg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or milk chocolate if you’d prefer sweeter)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C) and gather and measure your ingredients. In a bowl, combine your flour, baking soda, salt, and espresso powder. Set aside.

Cream together your softened butter with the sugars. Once fully incorporated, add your egg and vanilla extract. Mix it together, and then…

Gradually combine your flour mixture in with your wet ingredients. Once your wet and dry ingredients are fully mixed together to form your cookie dough, add in your chocolate chips and fold them in until fully incorporated, so that every bite of those cookies have chocolatey goodness when baked.

Spoon drops of your cookie dough onto a cookie sheet, leaving enough space for your cookies to spread as they bake. Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Have them cool on the cookie sheet for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack for them to finish cooking - but absolutely enjoy one (or two) while they’re fresh! They’re best that way!

Store these cookies in an airtight container for a few days. They have a short shelf life, so eat ‘em quick! And with how good these are, they’re sure to disappear fast. In fact, I think Kris just polished off the last of them. I just hope they shared with their friends.

Wait….is it getting cold in here, or is it just me?

……

Uh-oh.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Iruma-kun 8 - 9 | BnHA 68 - 71 | NGL 8 - 9 | ID: Invaded Sneak Preview (i.e. eps 1 - 2)

Tw: suicide for ID: Invaded, by the way (it’s only briefly in the commentary, but it’s in ep 2). Plus, ID: Invaded gets its hashtag well before its debut.

Iruma-kun 8

“Lady Redhair”? I think Amelie’s hair is orange, but you do you, Clara.

I paused at the wrong time and saw Asmodeus had bug eyes behind his glasses.

Is that the vending machine Clara attacked her bullies with…?

I wonder what rank Amelie is…

Diabolical + botany = diabotany.

Come to think of it, the Azz-Azz/Iruma relationship is similar to the Gokudera/Tsuna relationship…

So as it turns out, Clara gets her juvenile tendencies from taking care of her younger siblings. Hmm…

Aw, it’s kinda disheartening to see Clara so down. It looks a lot like Zenitsu when he doesn’t see his own abilities, or something of the sort (which I always fall hook, lin and sinker for).

I wonder what Amelie’s seduction percentage is…?

Oh, you can see Succubus-sensei in the ED…hmm.

Update: where is Clara’s dad…? *gulps if he’s passed away*

Iruma-kun 9

Azz-kun is such a proud parent…even though he’s the same age as Iruma, LOL.

Lack of ambition? Clara just proved this wrong last episode and Sabro has his own ambitions…but then again, Azz-kun wasn’t privy to such knowledge.

“Fear 1” is a pun on ikkai (first floor). (At least, that’s what I can assume from context.)

There doesn’t actually seem to be a pun when Azz mentions Execution Cannonball (shokei gyokuhou)…which, I think, is weirder than having a pun in the first place. (The later joke is that Clara says gyouki instead of gyokuhou, which is pretty far off for part of it but completely spot on for the other , so the subbers put in a phrase that matched that kind of pattern in the English as well.)

Rumour has it there’s going to be an Iruma-kun dub. I wonder how they’ll make all the puns work…?

It’s-wahahaha! It’s just dodgeball!

Huh? A high-ranking demon? Sullivan? Opera?????

LOL, you can still see the tree sprouting from one of the rooms.

The Demonitor is handing Opera the dodgeballs, LOL!

I like Opera’s nails…they’re a nice shade of purple…

Ponytail Iruma…looks a bit strange, but I’ll get used to it. I like ponytails, y’know.

Even Azz-kun’s hands are big in comparison to Iruma…

That preview was far too abrupt!

BnHA 68

The giant moving crab is actually a thing. I went and saw it one time in Ginza and again on Dotonbori, Osaka. The crab is associated with Kani Doraku, a crab restaurant.

“Amajiki” literally means something like “eats the sky”. A good name for my good boi.

The subbers didn’t even finish the word “defence”! Eesh!

Amajiki likes butterflies…? I wonder, if he ate butter, could he be a butterfly too…?

Running All Might, I see…(it’s a parody of the Glico Running Man in Osaka.)

Basically, this is what Vigilantes was for! Woot!

I love how Kaminari charges people’s phones. That’s the sort of dumb thing heroes do with their powers, since you gotta remember they’re just young dumb boys at heart as well.

The problem with a hardening power is that it sounds lewd out of context…

I wonder what Fat Gum’s first job was…?

There’s a post-credits segment…keep watching.

BnHA 69

Centipeder has such a cute voice, albeit a distorted one.

Kirishima is voiced by Masuda, so it’s fun to hear him get such a prominent role again (after Charanko in OPM s2, Touken Ranbu and Boueibu, among other roles).

“Likes: All Might” – LOL, we knew that already though.

Nighteye is Seiya Ryuuguuin: Hero Version.

There’s a post-credits segment. Keep watching.

The manga calls the magical girl series “Preyure”, so it’s weird to suddenly have the dub refer to its dub name, “Glitter Force”.

BnHA 70

Midoriya doesn’t have any bedhead…because his hair’s already messy! LOL.

“…what’s important is what you do afterwards.”

“Maybe we can catch the League…and the Hassaikai all at once!” – Yeah…that’s not going to happen Kirishima, considering the series is still going.

Come to think of it, Eraser’s goggles are the only part of his outfit that don’t really match…no wonder the idea comes from somone else (maybe saying that is a spoiler for those only following the main series and not Vigilantes, though…?).

Swordfish will become important later on…you know Tamaki’s Quirk, so you’ll see when it’s important soon.

Another post-credits segment…keep watching.

BnHA 71

One of the reasons I like Amajiki is because of his intro. Now you can see why!

Hassaikai = Hassai Group, so calling the opponents the “Shie Hassaikai” and “Hassai Group” in the same translaton is inconsistent.

“…playing into their hands.” – You can’t say that when you don’t have hands, Tamaki…

No Guns Life 8

Well, there ain’t no metaphor like the blatant one – man is the deadliest weapon to himself…or something of the sort.

Geesh! I wanna dub for this!

Well…couldn’t Olivier light the cig and stick it in Juzo’s mouth…? Or is that not “sexy enough” for the target audience?

No Guns Life 9

I’ve noticed only the women have lip flaps now…LOL. (But maybe I’m stating the obvious because my head’s a bit fuzzy from lack of sleep…)

“Medico” appears to be the Spanish word for “doctor” (as you might be able to guess). Then again, what Spanish colonies are there in the world…? Spain, sure, and South America…*googles* Basically all of South America, dangit.

Context says “madre” = mother.

Context also says “mentira” = lie, or “you’re lying!”.

Geesh, that cup size joke was such a non-sequitur that I didn’t even find it funny…

Geesh! This Colt dude is basically Sabro (from Iruma-kun)! Update: He also looks like he came straight outta JJBA.

ID: Invaded 1 – 2 (SNEAK PREVIEW!) 

I thought I wouldn’t be able to access the preview, but by accessing Funimation’s videos…I can watch it!

Ohmygloooooooob, this “I’m in pieces, but I’m connected” concept is so cool! (But also hella freaky, which is exactly my style!...You do know that I’m a bit of a freak for body horror, right?)

You…probably shouldn’t be yelling at the person if they appear to be dead(!)  

This would make an awesome escape game, no…?

I never knew the future looked so similar to the present.

Ooh, this gets more and more interesting! There are people watching this murder mystery.

Whose ID Well is this…? If it’s Sakaido’s, then maybe he can find out more about himself through the celebs.

The code appears to be from the Windows operting system, since C: is the default hard drive. So I’d say it might be Windows Visual Basic, actually, or C (the programming language).

Hmm…maybe that’s when the episode ws being produced.

Okay, so how I’m understanding this is that Sakaido is in the world of the murderer (of Kaeru’s) mind and he has to find her murderer to get out.

Ooh, so Sakaido is also a murderer…and as it turns out, Sakaido’s perp drills holes in the heads of their victims…scary. What I was really here to say was that this reminds me of a movie called Minority Report.

I think one of the victims had part of his head missing in the ID Well, so maybe Sakaido’s missing an elbow in real life…?

The joke is that the word for “well” in Japanese is i (井) or ido (井戸) and then ID, of course, is ID and likewise id is id (but it’s ido in Japanese). Googling ID: Invaded reveals Sakaido is written with this same kanji, plus two others (酒井戸), meaning his name is part of the wordplay too.

It’s like Minecraft, except you make the world with your entire body…LOL.

Maybe that’s (takoya) short for “takoyaki”…? Just a guess. Update: I’m right.

The licence plates say “Shinagawa”. This show takes place in Shinagawa (or the car I read the plate of was obtained in Shinagawa)!

Huh? How did Hondomachi get into the well? Do they have a drive to kill as well????

These quotes have gotta mean something, so here’s the first one: “Is it ridiculous to believe that I have been given a certain role to play for this present world?”

What’s up with the numbers in the room Matsuoka is in…? (Apparently a terrible day volunteering is enough to put me on edge and subsequently make me a master detective, it seems.)

I went back to my old Honeyfeed stories recently and I rediscovered a character that I wrote about a few years ago – Yuki, after the matching character I axed from my original plot of Half-Paid Heroes (because the story I’m referring to is the Honeyfeed version of HPH) – who was partially close-shaven like Fukuda. I gave Yuki such a character design just to set up intrigue, but I didn’t think I’d ever see a similar design to it, ever. Now, here I am.

Narihisago? What a name! I checked what “hisago” means and apparently it means “gourd”.

Is this Kaeru (the one that committed suicide), perhaps, the one in Hondomachi’s head and that’s not actually the case…?

The CGI’s a bit awkward in this show.

Is “Muku” Sakaido/Narihisago’s daughter…?

I think the old guy – the head of the cop team – uses a Mac, based on his GUI.

New quote: “Wind comes in this hole and out the other, and it makes the world a little bit clearer.” This reveals the quotes are actually from the episode.

This music which acts as the ED is nice. I’m basically sold on this show, y’know.

The original work is by “The Detectives United”. I wonder what that means…?

[theloveliestpartsofasexuality]

Destressor List: One Each for the Five Main Senses

So, it’s the holidays. School finals are coming up. Pretty much everyone who’ll end up reading this is probably a minority group in at least one way and has to deal with bullshit because of that.

I figure we’re all a bunch of stressed people. Therefore, here are some things you can do to relieve stress that may also even help with anxiety if you have it, like me. These are things that help me, so they won’t necessarily work for you, but it’s worth a shot.

Coloring apps:

Do you like art but don’t feel like you can create anything? Well, do you remember coloring books? There’s apps for that! For adults! There’s a plethora of pixel art apps that are basically color-by-number. I personally use Sandox because it includes a lot of pop culture stuff. The pictures can be simple or complex. Here’s some examples:

If you’re feeling more traditionally ~artsy~ there’s also apps that are pretty much coloring books. I find you can do a lot creatively on Recolor with the free tools. Here’s one picture from start to finish.

You can surprisingly add extra details with crayons. Everything you see added in the third picture was done with the crayons. They can be solid or more transparent and require a bit more patience to use since it’s more than just tapping to make color appear. It’s worth noting that the crayons are not very crayon-like. I feel that I should add that while I did used to draw kinda-sorta decently, I CANT DRAW FOR SHIT anymore because of my tremors, but I can still do stuff like that with the app (Don’t look at those flowers too closely. They look okay in the whole context of the picture but if you zoom in you can see they’re actually just squiggles, ha). The last picture looks that way not because I did anything extra to the picture but because there are filters. I finished the coloring in the third.

Hot Beverages:

During winter especially, it feels good to drink something hot. My main go to is tea. Like coffee, you may not like what you first drink, but it’s a matter of finding what flavor, strength, and level of sweetness you like. Sugar, artificial sweeteners, honey, milk/cream/coffee creamer can all be added to offset the initial bitter brew. You can find crazy amounts of detail about how to brew tea, but you don’t have to try that hard. Just don’t steep longer than ten minutes, though you can steep less. Put a microwave safe mug full of water in a microwave for two minutes. Put the tea bag or infuser in the water to steep. Bam, tea. There’s floral tea, fruity tea, earthy tea, herbal tea, whatever flavors you think might sound good as a hot beverage and more. You can find caffeine free tea easily, but even the strongest teas typically have less than half the caffeine found in a home brewed cup of coffee. Here’s a graph:

You can also go for hot chocolate(try homemade, it’s ridiculously good), hot apple cider(add cinnamon if you want), and decaf coffee. When it comes to coffee, if you want to relax, it has to be decaf.

Fuzzy Things:

When you’re feeling stressed, fuzzy things can be great, especially if they’re warm. Personally, I think the best option is a warm furry friend, but warm furry friends are not available to everyone. However, blankets are also great, and they do not have to necessarily be fuzzy if you’re not into that. You can sit and read on your phone (or scroll through Tumblr) or get a physically there book, watch Netflix/Hulu/cable/whatever you have. Pillows are a welcome addition. Heated blankets are awesome because w a r m t h, and if you’re a person who menstruates, it doubles as a way to ease cramps. On top of all that, you can also have a warm furry friend keep you company if you have one. Or any friend. Maybe even a human friend, why not, let’s gets crazy here.

Bake ALL of the Goods:

I already did taste with the hot beverages, and this is technically a heavy taste thing, but my favorite part of baking is probably the smell(especially bread. You wouldn’t believe how good homemade bread smells). Cookies are an easy one that most people enjoy the smell of and I could give you all SO MANY recipes. Like, you have no idea how many recipes I have. It’s ridiculous. You don’t need many tools for most cookie recipes, not even a hand mixer. In fact, sometimes you can’t use a hand mixture if the cookie dough is too thick. The catch is that you will have to give up on using a spoon near the end and dig your hands into it. No kneading techniques are necessary, but your hands are gonna go in the dough. If you cannot stand the way dough feels, then I’d recommend getting someone to finish mixing the dough for you or get already prepared dough. For a lot of people, however, dough is actually kinda fun to play with.

Here is my comparatively easy, completely unhealthy, absolutely amazing Super Secret Family Recipe for chocolate chip cookies. The base of this recipe can be found on the back of a Nestle chocolate chips bag, but if you compare the two, you’ll notice this one has been...modified.

Baking tools you absolutely need: two large bowls, measuring cups and spoons, baking sheet, something to mix wet(first six) ingredients. May use a large spoon, hand mixer, or stand mixer.

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar (packed)

2/3 cup shortening (Crisco)

2/3 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks, softened)

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

3 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda (not powder!)

1 bag of Semi-sweet chocolate chips

1.) Preheat oven 375F or 190C

2.) In a large bowl, mix both sugars, shortening, butter, eggs, and vanilla together.

(Your butter needs to be soft. You may simply leave it out and let it come to room temperature or you may microwave it. Both ways work most efficiently if butter is cut into tabs. If you microwave, be careful! Don’t melt it. Microwave no more than 10 seconds at a time.)

3.) Sift flour, salt, and baking soda together in a separate large bowl.

(To sift, put all the ingredients in the bowl, then you may gently shake the bowl and/or whisk it. I shake the bowl, my grandma used a whisk. Both work fine.)

4.) Pour the dry (ingredients from number 3) ingredients into the wet and mix.

(It is easiest to do this by pouring the dry ingredients by roughly a third of the entire thing at a time. This is the point at which you should stop using a mixer, though you can keep using a large spoon until it becomes too difficult to do so. Mix the ingredients with your hands.)

5.) Fold in however many chocolate chips you want into the dough. I use about half a bag, but you can always use more or less based on your preference.

6.) Form balls of dough roughly one inch thick. You can use your hands, two spoons, or a cookie scooper(easiest). Place on baking sheet a couple inches apart. Bake for 9-12 minutes.

Yields: about 3-3 1/2 dozen cookies. Might give you four dozen if no one eats any cookie dough, I don’t know, never tried that.

Unfortunately, despite how many times I’ve made this, I don’t have a picture of cookies where I followed this recipe. I do, however, have one where I didn’t have shortening and substituted for another 2/3 cup of butter, totaling 3 sticks of butter. If you follow the recipe, the cookies will look similar, but less smooth than these:

If you have any questions or want a different recipe, ask away or DM me. If you’re uncertain about how your dough is turning out, send me a picture and I will be able to tell you how to fix the dough if it needs fixing. Don’t worry, I have corrected every mistake you could fathom with this specific recipe. You won’t be bothering me with questions. In fact, I would love to help out with it. Send me pictures of the resulting cookies, if you’d like!

Music:

So, I’m a musician. Like, I study music education at a college known for their fine arts program. My main method of trying to relax and relieve anxiety always involves music. I do a lot of playing music, but listening to music is the most relaxing thing. My advice here is to branch out and try new music. Even music you’ve never considered before. We have over a thousand years worth of music that you can still listen to today, with endless variations, from all over the world, and you’d never run out of new music.

Listen to songs in languages you don’t understand. And no, I don’t just mean K-pop, though obviously that counts. People make music in every language you can think of. Music is one of the only constants in human history. There’s music for every emotion you can think of and some music paints pictures in your head if the performer is skilled enough. You don’t even need words to do that, either. It can make you feel things just with sound, if it’s good enough. I would recommend songs, but I would need to make a master list, honestly. If you want a starting point, you can give me an emotion, a genre, a time period, a language, a favorite instrument/voice type, and/or any other criteria and I can find something for you.

[lookwhatilost]

swissless swiss mac and cheese: a spite motivated recipe

so i guess internet recipe etiquette involves writing a drawn out story about what inspired the recipe, or what relative you stole it from, or whatever. i know that nobody cares abt stuff like that, so i’m going to keep the context short and sweet and get waste 17 paragraphs on troubleshooting instead

mac and cheese is a preposterously simple dish, but almost no one seems to know how to make it well. i dnt know if people dnt have taste, or if bad advice jst keeps being regurgitated to them or what, but i’m at the point where i’m always really skeptical of homemade mac and cheese unless i’ve tasted that person’s cooking before, because i’ve had so many unfortunate experiences with it. usually i’ll make it myself for thanksgiving, but my stepsisters’s cousin insisted on bringing it this year. it was foul, like, sincerely the worst. bland, dry, questionable pasta choice, rly jst every potential fuckup that one could potentially commit. my thanksgiving dinner was jst a huge plate of grilled mushrooms bc my usual dish was no longer an option. i felt robbed so it finally motivated me to throw this together. sometimes you jst need to eat something gross to put things into perspective, and push you to refine your cooking skills a little further.

i dnt like to share my rly good recipes bc i want to maintain the illusion that i am some kind of untouchable kitchen deity, but i’ve decided to leak this one as an act of community service.

the base sauce (bechamel) without the wine and nutmeg is what i always use for mac and cheese: 3 cups of bechamel to 2 cups of cheese with a pound of pasta. you can modify it with whatever cheeses you see fit.

some general advice with mac and cheese:

you’re going to get the best results if you serve it immediately and dnt bake it. this is probably one of the only foods i can think of where the texture is more important than the taste itself, and if the sauce is too thick, it’s going to taste dry and have a weird mouth feel. most people go wrong by putting it in the oven for too long. dnt do that. if you’re insistent on having a baked breadcrumb layer on top, then dnt keep it in the oven any longer than 5 minutes or so. any longer will compromise the creaminess. this recipe has a pretty big yield, so if you have to refrigerate leftovers, add a little milk when you heat them back up.

if it doesn’t taste cheesy enough, it’s because there’s not enough salt in it. i promise. salt it and then taste test it again. if you add more cheese, you risk making the sauce too thick.

the salt you use makes a difference. iodized salt is good for baking, or adding a pinch of it to something a little bit under-seasoned, but it can add a weird metallic taste to food if you cook with it. i usually use kosher salt, or sea salt, or that stupid pink salt that my mom always used to insist on buying, depending on what’s available to me. if you dnt have kosher salt or can’t rationalize purchasing it, then cut the portion in half to avoid cyborg mac.

the age of the cheese you use is going to be one of the biggest factors in the taste. usually the longer it ages, the cheesier it tastes, but the taste profiles of aged cheese are obviously dependent on the cheese you use. it helps to read up on them when you’re hashing out cheese choices and flavor combinations. i personally always use at least two cheeses, so before i pick them out, i make sure the ages of the cheeses have similar or complimentary taste profiles. it’s a lifesaver. w cheddar specifically, i never use one that’s been aged less than 9 months.

pasta choice is a big part of it. wagon wheels are usually my go-to, but rotini looks a little bit more sophisticated if you’re serving this to other people. shells are a little bit more obvious, but effective. i like to shoot for something that has a lot of external surface texture so the cheese sauce adheres to it better. elbow macaroni and penne dnt live up to my standard, personally, but if you wanna use one of those, get something that’s ribbed. same goes for cellentani. pipette works a little better. dnt bother with rigatoni, campanelle or farfalle. dnt use spaghetti unless you want to look like an idiot.

garlic helps. i almost never omit garlic when i’m making mac and cheese unless i’m going for something sweeter (dnt knock it til you try it). unless i want something with a more noticeable garlic taste, i put two cloves in. dnt let me tell you how much garlic to use, though. we all know that garlic is measured with the soul.

skim milk is actually your best bet. when you’re making bechamel, it’ll thicken significantly when you melt the cheese into it. skim milk usually gives you an ideal creamy consistency. whole milk is too thick. fat free milk gives you something a lot thinner, but if you’re making the sauce in advance, it’s a helpful workaround for when the sauce inevitably thickens in the refrigerator.

kind of a given, but if you’re cooking with beer or wine, always read the tasting notes unless it’s something you’re familiar with. dry white wines work best in recipes like this, but a lot of them have strong citrus notes and the acidity can be overpowering. i run into the problem a lot with pinot grigio. same goes with beers––it should accentuate the taste, not dominate it. if you’re not sure, mix a tiny bit in and taste test. it’s a lot of taste testing.

you dnt have to waste your money. if you’re experimenting with fancy cheeses that you typically find on cheese plates, keep in mind that a lot of the reason why you only ever seem to see them on cheese plates is bc they’re best in small doses. this isn’t to say avoid them entirely, but unless you cut them with havarti, jack, swiss, etc, the end result is barely edible when the flavor is that concentrated. dnt let this be discouraging, but i’ve mostly found that the more accessible, available cheeses produce better end results, and never puts me in a position where i blew $11 on a piece of cheese and ended up throwing most of it out. that’s always discouraging. the only things you should definitely stay away from is mozzarella (eat one mozzarella stick to find out why) and brie (i know it seems like a good idea but pls take my word for it)

notes on this recipe specifically:

on gruyere and fontina: my main objective here was to highlight some of the nuttier flavors in the cheese (and wine!) without actually putting ground up nuts into the sauce. younger gruyere tends to have nuttier notes, so does older fontina, but older fontina is kind of difficult to find in general, let alone for a reasonable price. i picked up a 5 month gruyere for this, and hardest block of fontina i could find in the store, which only ended up being aged 3 months. not ideal, but it worked out fine.

on raclette: not gnna mince words, it smells terrible. dnt let that scare you. when it’s mixed w the garlic and the other cheeses, it’s fine. it’s kind of difficult to find too. i got mine at wegman’s, but if you’re outside of the mid atlantic, that’s not an option. if it’s too elusive or if you’re sensitive to smell, emmental is a less elusive, less offensive substitute with a similar taste.

on the wine: aim for something with notes of honey or almonds or hazelnuts. i used beaulieu vineyard carneros chardonnay 2015

ingredients:

1 1/2 cups gruyere, shredded

3/4 cup fontina, shredded

1/4 cup raclette, take a wild guess

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup flour

3 cups of milk

1/4 cup chardonnay

2 tsp kosher salt (or 1 tsp iodized salt)

1 tsp nutmeg

1lb rotini

green apple slices (optional)

and without any further bullshit, here’s how you make it:

cook the pasta until its a little less than al dente––a minute or two less than the box instructions dictate. strain it and put it off to the side

heat up the milk over medium heat for abt 4 minutes, until it starts to bubble (NOT BOIL) a little bit. remove it from the heat.

in a different pot, melt the butter over medium heat and add the flour. whisk it until it’s light brown. usually this only takes a minute or two.

gradually pour in the milk, abt a half cup at a time and continue to whisk it. when all the milk is in the mixture. keep whisking it until the consistency is similar to gravy. this usually takes abt 2 minutes.

add the wine, keep whisking until you get the gravy consistency back

add the salt, garlic, and nutmeg.

add the cheeses and stir until they’ve barely melted

slowly add the cooked pasta and stir it continuously until the pasta is steaming. usually this only takes a couple minutes, but it depends on how warm the pasta is when you add it

spoon it into some bowls, garnish it with the apple slices and a little bit more nutmeg if you want. or skip garnishing it and jst dip the apple slices into the sauce. surprisingly good.

i dnt know what actually defines a serving, but if you’re using it as a main dish, it should feed four people. or jst one if you try your hardest. whatever works

[natiashakirkwood]

Low-Carb High-Fiber Savory Muffins with Parmesan and Green Onions

Low-Carb High-Fiber Savory Muffins with Parmesan and Green Onions are a wonderful grab-and-go breakfast idea to make on the weekend and reheat during the week, or serve these as a dinner muffin if you prefer! Check out Low-Carb Recipes for more low-carb treats like this one.

Click to PIN Low-Carb and High Fiber Savory Muffins with Parmesan and Green Onions!

Back in February I posted Donna’s Low-Carb High-Fiber Grain-Free Breakfast Muffins, and so many readers told me how they enjoyed those muffins! I made Donna’s muffins over and over myself and ate them for breakfast. And after a while I started to wonder about creating a savory muffin variation that used almond flour and flaxseed meal as the base the way Donna’s muffins did. The next time I was cooking with my niece Kara we experimented with a muffin recipe that was a combination of ingredients from Flourless Egg and Cottage Cheese Savory Breakfast Muffins and Donna’s Muffins, and these Low-Carb High-Fiber Savory Muffins with Parmesan and Green Onions were the delicious result!

Kara and I both thought the muffins tasted a bit like garlic bread, so you could serve this as a side muffin to go with soup or dinner. But I am loving these new savory muffins for a quick breakfast option too, and I’m pretty sure everyone who likes the idea of a savory breakfast muffin is going to enjoy this new recipe. I make a batch on the weekend, freeze in a Ziploc bag, and then reheat in the microwave for one minute, just like I do with Donna’s muffins. And yes, I like to eat them spread with a little butter, but that’s up to you!

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{ "@context": "http://schema.org/", "@type": "Recipe", "name": "Low-Carb High-Fiber Savory Muffins with Parmesan and Green Onions", "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kalyn's Kitchen" }, "image": "https://kalynskitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/2-650-low-carb-high-fiber-savory-muffins.jpg", "datePublished":"2019-04-08", "description":"These savory muffins were inspired by two other favorite muffin recipes on the blog, and these were absolutely a wow! You can serve them for breakfast or dinner.", "prepTime":"PT20M", "cookTime":"PT25-27M", "totalTime":"PT45-47M", "recipeYield":"12 large muffins", "recipeIngredient": [ "1 cup cottage cheese, rinsed and drained well", "1 1/2 cups blanched almond flour", "1 1/2 cups flax seed meal", "1 C finely grated Parmesan (I used freshly-grated Parmesan but I think the Parmesan in the green can might work for this.)", "2 1/2 T baking powder", "2 tsp. Spike Seasoning", "8 eggs, beaten so they’re well combined", "1/2 cup thinly sliced green onion (1 bunch green onions)" ], "recipeInstructions": [ "Preheat oven to 375F/190 C and spray silicone muffin cups with non-stick spray. (I used these silicone muffins cups, Jumbo size; see notes.)Dump the cottage cheese into a colander with small holes that’s placed in the sink, rinse with cold water, and let the cottage cheese drain well.Put the Almond Flour, Flaxseed Meal, freshly grated Parmesan, baking powder, and Spike Seasoning (or another all-purpose seasoning blend) into a bowl, then mix well with a large spoon until ingredients are evenly combined.Beat eggs until they’re well combined.Thinly slice the green onions. (Use them all please, they were great in this and the green onion flavor wasn’t strong!)Mix the drained cottage cheese and green onion into the beaten eggs.Then combine the egg mixture with the dry ingredients (the batter will be stiff, keep mixing until it’s all combined.)Divide the batter into 12 muffins cups, start with 1/3 cup batter each and then add a little more if you have extra batter.Bake 25-27 minutes, or until the top is lightly browned and feels firm." ] }

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