#so they molded the world to the best of their ability

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

*comes back from the grave to grip your shoulders* FGO/TWST but its Adeuce who are the equivalent of gudao/gudako amd Yuu is the equivalent of a lostbelt king (me thinking like a mix or castoria and morgan), and the three of them meeting in NRC again.

-ray

Raynon PLEASE

THE ANGST??? IS THAT WHAT U WANT??? SUFFERING??? PAIN????

Oh but can you IMAGINE the Lostbelt being a crude recreation of what Yuu longs for? Can you imagine Grim being forced to evolve so that he can guard Yuu because at the end of the day Yuu and Grim are nothing without one another.

Yuu who tries so hard to appease the vestiges of humanity that play up the traits of the Seven Dorms and their family, where they blend and mix and you cannot discern their faces.

The amalgam of comfort and grating unfamiliarity. The hollow feeling that you are where you've always wanted to be and yet you cannot settle because in the end the experiences that you've gone through has forever changed you.

Adeuce having to face off against the crude versions of themselves based off the recollection of Yuu.

They didn't want to reunite like this. Not like this.

[sitepathos]

From Gold to Mold

Chapter 10: The Meeting

As the Megamycete watches as you stomp around your room and vent your frustrations about the last few days, it begins to wonder how the Bats came to remember their little black sheep and why they are so insistent you return to Gotham.

It searches through your memories and experiences all the sadness, fear, anger, hatred, and loneliness you experienced for years, all those emotions still so potent even after your departure from the manor four years ago, having been dredged up by their unwelcome visits. It was clear that, besides the butler, none of them considered you a part of their merry band of misfits, not even bothering to spare you a passing glance.

The exception to this is the youngest one, Damian, who constantly went out of his way to make your life harder by mocking you, hurting you, and releasing his menagerie of pets on you, forcing you to run through the endless halls of the mansion barricade yourself in the closest room you could find.

Now, after four years after your escape and maintaining little contact with the family butler, they show up on your door, one after the other, trying to force you to leave your perfect life for one that brought you nothing but pain and misery.

Why?

Why do they want you so much?

Why do they insist on you returning to a place you clearly hate?

Why do they now wish to give you the love they denied you for so long?

Why—

Wait, they are meeting in their little cave, gathering around the massive computer in the center of the massive cavern.

Its roots have long since surrounded the cave and it is still connected to the main colony back in Gotham, but when it took you as its host, it has had no need to tap into its roots to see the world above when it can see the world through your eyes and experience it through your senses.

Using its roots to see the outside world no longer has the same appeal when your senses are far more vibrant and provide far more detail.

When it proposed you become its host, it must admit, it never thought it would be so mutually beneficial. Of course, it would be able to leave the cavern and finally experience a world firsthand that had been forever just out of reach for over four-hundred years, but you would recover from your injuries and be akin to a god among men with your newfound abilities. You were the one who had more to gain from your joining, but it was willing to trade one prison for another if it meant finally seeing the world above and having someone to talk to.

But you proved it wrong.

When it became a part of you, you treated it like a person, not a thing. You value its input and alter your plans if it desires to see or experience something. You frequently talk to it, telling it things that you haven’t told anyone else and speaking to it like it was a lifelong friend.

It has no further use for that toxic city and its citizens when it has the warm haven of Goodsprings and you to keep it company.

It has come to admire you, even going as far as to see you as a friend and confidant, and wants nothing but the best for you as you so rightfully deserve and to see you suffer teaches it a new definition of rage.

“Running blood tests,” your failure of a father says as he types on the keyboard, causing a machine next to the massive device to make noises.

“If Master Y/N does test positive for the Meta Gene, what do you intend to do, Master Bruce,” the butler, the only one in this crowd it respects, asks.

“If Y/N is a meta, I’ll have to find out what his powers are and how to counter it.”

So that’s what this meeting is about, they managed to put the pieces together that you are no mere human. But how did they manage to get a sample of your blood? Since your joining, you have had no need for doctors as its influence makes you immune against common illnesses and diseases.

“Getting his blood was a simple task,” Damian taunts. “Honestly, this would have been solved already if you sent me, Father.”

Of course. It should have known the little menace gave up too easily.

While you hate Bruce Wayne in every sense of the word, Damian Wayne is right behind him. From the moment you met him, he went up of his way to make your life a living nightmare and was allowed to get away with impunity due to obvious favoritism from Dick Grayson.

The memory of Dick defending Damian after he gave you a scar made the Megamycete furious. No matter his upbringing, he had no right to harm you, and yet, he was allowed to draw his sword on you. It was only pure luck that you managed to move to avoid being critically wounded, only resulting in a scar.

The Megamycete has seen your many fantasies of hurting Damian and making him feel inferior and wants to help you make them a reality.

“Results are in,” Bruce announces, making them all crowd around the computer.

“No Meta Gene,” Tim remarks, staring at the monitor with alarming intensity.

“Yeah, but look,” Jason exclaims, pointing at one of the results. “He’s got something in him that doesn’t belong.”

“For once, Todd is right. The tests show foreign substances in his blood.”

“Wait,” Tim mutters as he leans over and begins typing on the computer, bringing up an extensive menu and going through various files. “That looks so familiar.” An image is pulled up on the monitor. “Here it is! The stuff in his blood matches the stuff found in what remained of Joker.”

Well, this is rather unfortunate. It had hoped that there would be very little of the clown left to examine after his execution by your hand, but as usual, these people cannot resist poking into areas they do not belong.

“If this is substance is in Master Y/N’s blood, does that mean he is responsible for Joker’s death?”

“Bruce, you can’t lock up Y/N after bringing him home,” Dick whines. “You have to admit, your thing with Joker was only going to end one way!”

“We don’t even know if Y/N killed Joker,” Tim interjects. “It’s possible this strain of mold was in both of them and Joker’s was somehow activated, killing him.”

“That’s not exactly comforting, Drake,” Damian responds, glaring at Tim. “That means that Y/N could be in danger. If I had my pick, I would he be responsible for Joker’s death. Knowing he can take down as formidable as the Joker is proof he is a Wayne and my brother.”

If it had eyes, the Megamycete would roll them. This insecure little terror spent years making it clear he saw you as an interloper into his “perfect world” and not as a brother and that you are a disgrace to the Wayne bloodline (although that bloodline was tainted far before you came to be). He has some nerve to call you his brother now.

It still made it angry that he had the nerve to critique your mother (your memories of her painted the woman as a saint) when his mother, the daughter of a millennium-old maniac with delusions of grandeur (yes, you are very aware of his familiar secrets) who drugged Bruce in order to bring him into the world.

“We need to bring him back here, Bruce,” Dick says, defusing a fight between the two. “If he’s in danger, he needs to be back home.”

“I agree,” Bruce responds. “Cass, you and I will go. I’ll distract him and while he’s busy yelling at me, you’ll sneak up behind him and inject him with a tranquilizer.”

The mute nods and the Megamycete wishes it has a mouth so it can scream. Not only is it offensive that they believe you are stupid enough to fall for such an obvious trick, but that they believe they have the right to decide something like this on your behalf.

If they have failed to realize that you want nothing to do with them after you have yelled it at them, perhaps they will understand if it tells so itself.

And it knows the perfect form to take.

He stands up from the chair and makes his way to the armory where they keep the tranquilizers meant for the larger criminals, like Bane and Killer Croc.

He hates the thought of using such methods against you, but you’ve made it clear you aren’t going to come back to Gotham willingly and the discovery of this mysterious mold inside you has forced their hand.

Nevertheless, improvisation is one of their many skills, a requirement in their line of work. Once they have you back home, they’ll be able to conduct more in-depth tests and be able to find out what’s wrong with you and go from there.

As much as he hates the idea of you possibly being in pain and may even be in danger, he can’t deny there’s a small inside him that’s glad this has happened. This discovery accelerates their plans and will have you brought home far sooner.

And, there’s the chance that this mold may explain most of your hatred towards them. Sure, he knows you have every right to despise them, but when he saw the look in your eye when you pushed him down that night of the award ceremony. He could tell you enjoyed inflicting pain on him.

This stuff in you must’ve made your temper more volatile and made you lash out at them.

It’s the only explanation.

“Excuse us,” a familiar voice calls throughout the cave, stoping his dead in his tracks.

That voice… No, it can’t be. There’s no way…

He turns around to see you, standing in the cave, all of them looking right at you. The small smile on your face making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“We believe there are some things we should talk about,” you say as you walk closer to them, making his children back up with each step you take.

“No fucking way,” Jason remarks, his eyes wide as saucers.

“Wait,” Tim says as he rushes over to the computer and rapidly types on the keyboard. “You can’t be Y/N. His phone says he’s still in Goodsprings and we’ve been monitoring his GPS signal, so there’s no way you could’ve come all the way to Gotham from Nevada without us knowing!”

That’s right, they’ve been monitoring your phone ever since Alfred helped them remember you, tracking you every move and committing your searches, social media usage, and all your texts and phone calls. They would’ve done the same to your computers that are linked to your phone, but your cybersecurity is tougher than they anticipated (clearly custom) and they haven’t been able to crack the encryption.

He knew you were skilled at making videos games, but he didn’t know your skills with technology expanded into cybersecurity. Ever since they made that discovery, Tim’s spent nearly all day trying to pierce your firewalls, but hasn’t made any progress. He’s also made it clear he wants to have lengthy conversations on computers and programming with you once you’re back home.

So, you’re still in Goodsprings, so who the hell is this, why the hell would they take your form, and how the hell did they get into the Cave without setting off any of the dozens of alarms or sensors?

“Who are you” Damian hisses, taking a defensive posture. “And what gives you the right to assume the form of my brother?”

“You have some nerve calling him your brother,” the Not-You hisses back, the smile morphing into an all-too familiar snarl. “He is too good for you, for any of you.”

Even though he knows this isn’t you, hearing those words in your voice still hurts him.

“Do you know Master Y/N,” Alfred interjects, trying to bring tensions down, most likely so he can learn more from this person.

“Yes, we do,” Not-You responds, looking at the butler, the snarl morphing into a look of… admiration? “And we know you, Alfred Pennyworth. We know of you and how you helped him during his stay in this wretched mansion. You have our gratitude.”

“Look, whoever you are, stop taking Y/N’s form,” Steph exclaims. “You’re obviously a shapeshifter, so turn back to normal! Or the very least, take a different form!”

“Oh, do you all wish for us to take another form,” the Not-You asks, a ghost of a smirk gracing “your” face.

“Yes,” Bruce says without hesitation.

It’s bad enough to see you look at them with such hatred, he won’t tolerate some imposter doing the same thing.

“Very well.”

Before them all, the Not-You turns into a shifting mass of some type of black organic mass before taking on a humanoid shape once again and Bruce’s heart stops when he takes in the new form.

“Hello, Bruce,” the shapeshifter says in a voice he hasn’t heard in years.

Not since that fateful night in Crime Alley.

“Good God,” Alfred says, his eyes wide and his jaw practically on the floor.

In front of them is his mother, every detail exactly how she was that night, still adorned in her favorite pearl necklace and wearing her green dress.

As he stares at her looking at him with those eyes that use to look at him with nothing less than unconditional love, he feels his breathing start to become erratic and eyes begin to mist up.

“What’s wrong, Bruce,” the shapeshifter says in her voice (god, even her voice was exactly how he remembered) as they begin to walk towards him, making him step back. “I thought you would be happy to see me. It has been so long since I was killed.”

“No,” he says, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “You’re not her. You can’t be.”

“But I am. Do you not see? I know everything you have done.” His mother’s face then morphs into a disgusted snarl, making him sick to his stomach. “And I am absolutely disgusted in you! Why did we have to die that night? Why not the disgrace we once called our son!”

He knows this isn’t his mother and she never would’ve called him a disgrace, but hearing those words in a voice he’s longed to hear for so long makes him want to cry.

He’s had dreams of seeing his mother’s in the flesh again and now he has to endure this berating? Is he truly that horrible of a man to deserve this?

“Stop it, you bitch,” Jason exclaims as he steps between Bruce and the shapeshifter. “Take another form or get the fuck outta here!”

“Oh, you want us to another form?” His… the shapeshifter shifts once again and in his mother’s place is…

“Hiya, Dead Hood,” Joker exclaims before exclaiming in that all-too familiar cackle and waving around a crow bar in his hand. “Did you miss me?”

It doesn’t take a detective to notice Jason tense up and his breathing stop; Joker left a mark on Jason that unfortunately will never be erased (another shortcoming that eats away at Bruce everyday) and whenever news of Joker escaping Arkham would bring up all the anger, fear, and sadness that was planted in Jason that night he died.

After Joker was killed, he noticed a weight seemed to be lifted off of Jason’s shoulders. Sure, he made jokes about the clown burning in hell, but Bruce could see he was genuinely happy and was ready to move on form that horrible chapter in his life.

And now, all that trauma is about to be dug back up after four years.

“You have five fucking seconds to take another form before I beat the shit outta you,” Jason says in a tone that says he means business, his eyes flickering into that shade of Lazarus green.

“How about this form,” the shapeshifter says in Joker’s voice before changing into John Grayson, making Dick tense up. “Or this form?” John Grayson then shifts into Janet Drake, making Tim tense up.

“Alright, you made your point,” Barbara shouts. “Just turn back into Y/N.”

And with that, the shapeshifter takes your form again.

“Who are you,” Bruce growls, pissed that his sons have had their trauma jabbed at. “We know you’re not Y/N, but you know him and us.”

You may call us the Megamycete.”

“Megamycete,” Tim asks. “So, you’re not human?”

“No, we are a super colony of mold given sentience via a Lazarus Pit.”

“Of course a fucking pit’s involved,” Jason mutters.

“What’s your tie to Y/N,” Dick interjects.

“Y/N is our host. Before, we were confined to a cavern beneath this city, but when we joined with him, we were freed from our prison.”

“So, you’re using him.”

The Megamycete glares at Bruce for his accusation.

“No, he and us operate on mutual trust and respect. Y/N is a respectable young man.” A smirk appears on “your” face. “A trait he clearly did not inherent from you.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut. Even though this thing is probably the reason why you feel so much hate towards them, it still pains him to know this is his reality.

“Were you responsible for the Joker’s death,” Steph chimes in. “We found weird strains of mold in his remains and you’re a walking, talking pile of mold.”

“While we are not directly responsible for the Joker’s death, we do not deny we were involved. That night, Y/N took us out to Amusement Mile to celebrate when we learned the Joker was sighted in an arcade. Upon seeing the many deaths left in his wake, our host took matters into his own hands and eliminated the biggest threat this city had ever seen.” It gives Bruce a wide smirk. “In a single night, our host did more to help Gotham than you and your brood have done in years.”

Knowing you were responsible for killing Joker didn’t sit well with him. Sure, he’d accepted that Joker’s games were only going to end with one or both of them being dead a long time ago, but knowing that you, his son, had killed him…

“What about Harley,” Dick asks, breaking Bruce out of his thoughts. “He killed her too?”

“She forced his hand. He had no choice.”

“What do you mean he had no choice,” Dick shouts. “Did you force him?”

“Do not be stupid,” it says, glaring at his first son. “Our host was in complete control of his actions that night. We no more control his actions than you. The woman was a lost cause, without Joker to keep her in line, she would have punished all of Gotham as retribution for the loss of her love. Also, she would have informed you of him, causing you to devote all your resources to finding him. In order to both save Gotham from her wrath and himself from your scrutiny, Harley had to die.”

No, this thing has to be lying. There’s no way you, one of his sons, could ever rationalize killing someone. It had to have forced you to kill them. It had to…

“How did you even find Y/N,” Damian interjects.

Upon being asked that question, it smiles. And not a normal smile, but a smile that says it knows something they don’t know and something tells Bruce he’s not going to like it.

“He was thrown into our cavern after being left for dead.”

Bruce hears the words, but they just don’t process.

You were… left for dead? When? How?

“It was four years ago, while the butler was on his vacation. That day, his boss was forced to retire due to Gotham’s high crime, so he was forced to find another bus stop within Crime Alley as he had no other way of returning here, where he was unfortunately captured by three thugs and takes to a cabin in the nearby forest. They intended to ransome him off for a high price due to his school uniform.”

You were held hostage? Why didn’t you call for them? For him?

He knows you have no reason to think he’d help you with homework, but surely you’d call him if you were ever—

Just then, memories from that time frame kick in.

Random…

Phone call…

Oh… Oh no…

“Since the butler was out of the country, he actually reached out and gave the thugs the phone number for this manor.”

He so desperately wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“You said all your children were with you and you all laughed and mocked the leader of the thugs.”

He sees all his children tense up at the realization and Alfred looks at him to see if it was true. Based on the butler’s look of shock and disbelief, he knows it’s the truth.

“The one time he reaches out to you for help, you laugh and mock. He needed you and you failed him in the worst way possible.”

He remembers that night. He thought it was so stupid that someone would think he wouldn’t know when one of his kids were missing. He said all his children were with him and meant it.

God, he really is the worst, isn’t he?

“After that phone call, the leader took all his frustrations out on our host, beating him until he could cry out for mercy no longer before shooting him in the head.”

He wants to cry when the image of you being beat up enters his head, and based on the way he flinches, so does Jason, who looks like he wants to cry.

Alfred looks like he’s ready to go nuclear and Bruce doesn’t blame him. Hearing all this years later and he had no idea what happened just proves he was never worthy of being your father.

“He was on the brink of death and had he not accepted our offer to become our host, he would be dead and the world would have been deprived of a brilliant mind.”

The thought of you dying brings a brunch of thoughts to the surface.

How long would it had taken him to notice you were missing?

How would he reacted upon learning you were dead?

Chances are your body would’ve never been found and all there would be to remember you by would be a tombstone with your name in the Wayne Cemetery. Hell, you’ve made it clear you want nothing to do with the Wayne name, so you probably would’ve never agreed to be buried with the rest of the Waynes.

“Our joining restored him to full health and gave him access to many powers, including our records.”

“Records,” Tim asks, clearly interested in this.

“We have existed for four-hundred years, our roots expanding towards every corner of this city. As our roots touched those buried beneath the ground, not only have we watched the goings-on of Gotham, but we absorbed the memories, knowledge, and structure of the deceased. As horrible as the city is, it has attracted many brilliant minds, like artists, scientists, engineers, and many more. He has access to the knowledge of these people, making him one of the smartest humans alive.” It chuckles. “In fact, many of your employees are in our records and he used this knowledge to get revenge on you, selling the secrets of your company to Lex Luthor for a tidy sum.”

You were the one who did that? He’s been racking his brain and reviewing network logs to find any sort of security breach and it was you using the remains of his dead employees.

“Alright, so that solves a lot of mysteries,” Dick interjects. “But that still leaves one: why are you here?”

“We have been by our host’s since that fateful night, peering through his memories and seeing the world through his eyes. Ever since he was forced to move to Gotham, none of you ever made him feel welcome here. For years, he wanted nothing more than to return to his rightful home, where he knew nothing but love. Now, after four years since his departure from this wretched manor, you appear, one after another, trying to bring him back to a place he despises more than anywhere else. We wish to know why.”

“He’s my son,” Bruce answers, not liking what this thing has to say.

“He’s family,” Dick adds. “Of course we’d want him back.”

“But none of you have ever made him feel that way. And if you are honest with yourselves, you never saw him as one of your own. You only want him because you feel guilty about how you treated him, and that guilt is making you believe you are owed a second chance. And you seek to obtain that second chance, no matter how much harm it does to him.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re taking about,” Jason exclaims, clearly getting more and more pissed. “Yeah, we fucked up! But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a part of this fucked up family!”

“He was never a part of this family. We know for a fact that he wishes he could take out the Wayne DNA and return it.”

“That’s because you’re manipulating him,” Damian interjects. “Nothing will change the fact that he’s my blood brother.”

“It is funny you say that when the last interaction you had with him was a fight.” It lifts hits arm and manifests a gold pen in its hand. “Do you remember this? This is the pen you tried to steal from him and then threw out into the rain when he gave you a much deserved slap upside your head. Do you know the significance of this item to our host?”

Bruce gets the feeling that he’s not going to like why that pen is so important to you and based off Alfred’s expression, that feeling gets even worse.

“This pen once belonged to his mother, made by her father when she set out to become an author. When she was taken from him, this pen was the only thing he had to remember her by. And you, the arrogant beast that you are, felt you had the right to take this, his most treasured possession, from him.” It turns its gaze from Damian to the rest of them. “And the rest of you supported this irreverent mongrel and condemned our host without listening to him before passing judgment.”

It seems like a day can’t go by that Bruce feels like the scum of the earth; ever since he learned of how he neglected you for years and forgot you even existed, his sense of worth has taken hit after hit. He was thinking about that argument you had with Damian and how furious he was when you refused to obey him not too long ago, thinking how stupid it was for you to cause so much trouble over a simple pen. Now to find out that “simple pen” was the only thing you had to remember your mother by…

It just never ends, does it?

He could spend the rest of his life atoning for everything he’s ever done to you, spend his last dollar to make your wildest dreams come true and he’d never come close to earning your forgiveness.

He knows he’s not the best father for his children, but he was never worthy of being your father and he’s certainly not that now.

“Y/N,” he whispers, knowing this isn’t you, but it has your face, your vice, and your memories, so it’s the next best thing. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He knows tears are falling from his eyes, surprising both Alfred and his children. He doesn’t want them to see him like this, but he can’t help it; the last few days have been one emotional turmoil after another and he’s reached his limits.

He failed his baby in every way possible.

“Now you understand,” it responds as it walks closer to him. “You fulfilled your purpose, Mr. Wayne. You brought Y/N into this world and had him brought to Gotham, where he was delivered into our custody. Now please, do not worry for him, we assure you we will provide him with true happiness. Go on, all you have to do is stay in Gotham and out of our host’s business.”

“Father,” Damian exclaims. “You can’t possibly be considering this!”

“Bruce,” Dick adds. “You aren’t going to actually do it, right?”

“Don’t fuck this up, Bruce,” Jason adds.

“We can’t just give up on him,” Tim adds.

“Yeah, he’s your son,” Barbara adds.

“He’s our brother,” Steph adds.

‘Family doesn’t give up on one another,’ Cass signs.

“Master Bruce,” Alfred warns, clearly not pleased at the thought of giving up on you.

He should, though. He knows that he’ll never be worthy of calling himself your father and you’ve made it clear you hate him and your siblings in every sense of the word. You wanted to go back to your childhood home in Goodsprings, a place that made you feel loved, something his home never made you feel. And the last four years were good to you based off your appearance and success. Plus, you had the Megamycete, that apparently has been more of a family to you than them.

If he was a good person, he’d put your needs and wants ahead of yours and agree to leave you alone and tell his children to do the same. Repeatedly harassing you would only make you hate them more and widen the gap between you and them. You don’t need them and clearly learned how to live without them. Over the past few days, he’s gathered every piece of information about you he can find and from what he sees, you love it in Goodsprings and fully intend on living in the house you and your mother lived.

But he’s not a good person, not by a long shot.

The night his parents were gunned down like animals in that disgusting alley, his sadness had turned into a bright inferno of rage; he wanted to inflict on every criminal that he met every ounce of his never ending vengeance and make them so afraid of him that they refuse to step outside whatever hole they call home, so that no one ever has to lose a child, a parent, a friend, or a loved one to some scumbag with a gun. That was his reason for donning the cowl.

After his parents were taken from him, he made it his mission to never lose anything of his ever again and two things that he holds dear more than anything in this world are Gotham and his family. And as long as he’s breathing, he’ll hold onto those two things until the bitter end.

Is it possible that in his mission to protect his city from Arkham’s inmates have made him forget the little details? Of course, Gotham needs Bruce Wayne as much as it needs Batman.

Is it possible that his need to hold onto his children with an iron grip has made him lose them on multiple occasions? Absolutely, he’s constantly remembering that his children are their own people and that even though they may leave him, they’ll always come home.

And that’s what his situation is with you. He knows he fucked up with you and he can never undo the damage he’s done to you, it doesn’t change the fact that you are his blood, his son, his firstborn.

You belonged to him the moment you were born and there’s nothing that can change that. He wishes he could go back in time and accept the gift of your affection that his past self spurred, but he can’t (his time as a Justice League member has taught him that going back in time is more trouble than it’s worth) and his only option is to move forward and make you see that the only place in this world for you is with him and your siblings here in Gotham, a city that has and always will belong to the Waynes.

And right now, this Megamycete is an obstacle standing in his way of completing his family. And if there’s one thing Bruce is very good at over the years, it’s overcoming obstacles.

“No.”

“Pardon,” it says, confusion etched onto its face.

“No,” he says loudly, making it clear he has no intention on letting you go. “Y/N is my son and their brother. He belongs here, with me and his family, not in some backwater town with some sentient mushroom. We’ll find a way to bring him back here and separate the two of you. And when we do, he’ll have all the time in the world to realize this is where he needs to be. Once he realizes that, all of Gotham will celebrate his return.”

He looks around and sees not only does his family seem happy with that statement, but they think the same as him.

The Megamycete looks at him, silent, seemingly shocked at his statement.

Then, it begins to laugh. First, just soft chuckles, then a laugh so loud, it echoes off the walls of the cave.

“Our host was right, you have clearly lost what sanity you had left. You reject him for years and now that you realize your folly, you seek to make amends? Please, spare us your delusions. This has nothing to do with our host and everything to do with your guilt. The moment you feel absolved, you will return to the status quo and forget he exists.” It motions to his children. “You have plenty of children here to drown in your need for forgiveness, surely you can make do with one of them.”

Then, it leans closer towards him, a smug look adorning its face.

“Also, Y/N belongs to us. He has the moment he fell into our cavern and will continue to until the end of time. Attempt to take him from us and you will suffer the same fate as those three thugs who left him for dead.”

It’s then another mystery gets solved: the slaughter at My Alibi. The three men in the back of the dining room who looked like they had gone through a meat grinder. That was your doing and they had been the ones to kidnap you and leave you for dead.

While he never advocates for killing people, he’s more than happy to make an exception for them. If they tried to kill you, they deserved to be slaughtered.

He only wishes they were still alive so he could pay them a visit before being turned over to Red Hood.

“We’ve fought plenty of Metas in the past. Do you really think you’ll be any different?”

“We have the knowledge and wisdom of countless people over the course of four-hundred years, all of them at the disposal of our host. You still think of him as that timid little thing from all those years ago, but he has become so much more since our joining. You believe yourselves superior than the rest of the general population, but you will find our host far surpasses you in every respect. He also possesses one thing your past adversaries never will.”

“And what’s that?”

“Unbridled hatred towards you.”

He wants to laugh at that. This thing must not have watched too carefully if it thinks people like Joker, Penguin, Poison Ivy, and so many in Arkham don’t hate his guts. He’s spent years being cursed at by all of Gotham’s rogues and beating all of the Riddler’s countless murder attempts to know Batman is at the top of many people’s Most Hated lists.

“If you don’t think half of Arkham doesn’t have dart boards with our pictures on them, you’re not as smart as you think you are,” Steph mocks.

“We do not doubt the genuine animosity the inmates hold towards you, but they are too far gone to imagine a life without any of you; you have foiled many of their crimes so many times, it has become one of the few constants in their lives. Every time they are put back in Arkham, they devote their time to coming up with their next attempt to best you until it is the only thing they care about. If any one of them were to ever defeat you, they would eventually realize how empty their lives are without you and their victory would soon sour.

“Joker would be a perfect example of this as he was as obsessed with you as you were of him.”

As much as he hates to admit it, the talking pile of mold is right. The clown made it clear that as much as he hated Batman, he was just as obsessed with him, going as far as to go after any criminal that took up too much of his time, Harley included in that.

And Bruce was just as obsessed with Joker, coming up with countless contingencies to counter any plot his sick and twisted mind could come up with, as well as devising security protocols and measures for Arkham to keep him contained and treatment plans to find a way possible bring his sanity back (assuming he had any to begin with).

“But our host is not like them. He has longed for a life free of you lot and now that he has that, he has no intention of surrendering it. Attempt to force him to return to this wretched manor and he will be more than happy to bring his fantasies of killing you a reality.”

He knows you hate them, but hearing that you hate them enough to fantasize about killing them cuts him deep.

“Please, I tried to kill Tim and Bruce back when I returned to Gotham,” Jason mocks, but Bruce can see Jason’s obviously concerned about hearing you thinking about killing them. “And Damian took a few tries at Tim. Everyone in this fucked up family’s got anger issues, it’s nothing weird.”

“You are kidding yourself if you believe you and that monster can a hold a candle to his fury. Your so-called anger is nothing more than a candle compared to the inferno that is his rage. You will feel the full might of his righteous fury, which will swallow you whole and leave nothing behind. And when you all are dead, you will be denied entry into our records.”

“So you don’t plan to absorb us,” Dick asks.

“Our host is the one who made that decision. To be added to our records is to be a part of us, and to be a part of us is to be a part of our host. He refuses to have you in his life in any way.” A small smile etches across its face. “We agree with his way of thinking. When you are gone, there will be nothing left and the world will forget any of you ever existed. And that is when our host’s revenge will finally be complete.”

It takes everything Bruce has to not flinch.

With this… thing inside you, what are you capable of? Would you really attack them with intent to kill? Would you really murder your own family?

“Make all the threats you want, creature,” Damian boldly states. “Nothing will stop us from bringing Y/N home.”

“Then this concludes our meeting, we suppose. We had hoped that we could convince you the best thing for you and our host would be to leave him alone and let the past rest, but we see now you all are too deep into your delusions to see reason. We look forward to seeing our host tear you apart, bit by bit.”

In the blink of an eye, the Megamycete turns bone white and crumbles like chalk, scattering all over the floor, leaving them all to stare at the remains in silence.

“So,” Alfred says, breaking the silence. “Was anyone ever going to tell me about a call regarding a random?”

The tension becomes so think, Bruce thinks he’ll start to choke on it. He racks his brain to come up with any answer, but doesn’t find any. At lease not one that won’t make Alfred pissed.

Clearly his children came to the same conclusion, because they remained silent as well, looking away or at the floor when he met their gaze.

“I have to say out of all the disgraceful things all of you have done throughout the years, this definitely takes the cake. I know Master Y/N wasn’t a priority for any of you, but I never would’ve dreamed you would allow him to be put in danger like being held hostage by common thugs.” Every word he says is dripping in venom. “I am absolutely disgusted with all of you.”

The words cut him deep and he deserves it. It was thanks to his incompetence that led to you being kidnapped, beaten to a pulp, shot in the head, and tossed into a cavern like trash and left for dead in a place no one would ever find you.

There’s nothing he can do that will ever make up for all that he’s done to you. He can apologize until he loses his voice permanently, spend all his money to buy you apology gifts, and subject himself to whipping by your hand until he’s lost every bit of his skin and he’d never scratch the surface of everything he’s done to you.

You came to him, a scared little child who just lost his mother and was forced to move to a massive city to live with a man he’s never met and all you wanted was for him to tell you that he loved you and that everything was going to be alright, but no, he was too caught up in his work as Batman instead of finding a healthy way of dealing with losing Jason.

But that’s not all he did, was it?

As much as he wants to, he can’t deny that he replaced you with Tim after the boy lost his parents. He suffered the same loss as you, but he gave Tim the help he needed while denying it to you. But that’s his fault, not Tim’s. His inadequacies are his alone to deal with, not any of his children’s (a lesson he keeps forgetting).

And he did the same thing several more times, bringing in more children and giving them all the love and affection you were denied as a child. He can’t help but wonder what went through your mind as you saw him spending time with them, both in groups and individually. And when you watched them hanging out in the dining room when they came home from patrol, enjoying themselves and each other while you were left alone in some room barely the size of a closet.

God, how many times did you wonder when you’d be asked to join before giving up?

When exactly did you give up on them?

And of course, he can’t forget about how he handled you and Damian meeting, another sign he was never fit to be a father. He knew Damian’s LoA upbringing left him unable to interact with others the proper way, but he still allowed him to see you (because he never considered your safety a priority) and allowed the boy to draw a sword on you, give you a scar on your face, and make several threats on you and insult your mother.

And what did he do after that?

Did he do the responsible thing by taking away the sword, scold the boy for his unacceptable behavior, and make it clear you were his brother and that he’s not allowed to hurt you?

No, of course not.

He did nothing but carry Damian off while allowing him to shout even more threats and insults, thinking nothing about the harm you just experienced and thinking Damian would just outgrow of his behavior on his own.

If he had to guess, it was probably that day you realized you didn’t matter to him and that Damian was the only one he considered a biological son.

Y/N, his baby boy.

He’s so sorry.

“This doesn’t change anything,” Bruce finally says, making his family turn their eyes to him. “We still need to bring Y/N home. Meeting this Megamycete just makes it more important we get him back to the manor.”

“And if Master Y/N fights you? Based off what you were able to gather from both crime scenes, this Megamycete appears to make him a formidable opponent.”

“We can find a way to neutralize it,” Tim chimes in, motioning to the crumbled remains. “I’ll analyze the remains to find a weakness.”

“And if that’s not enough, it said it has roots all over Gotham,” Barbara adds. “I can use the Clocktower to locate the closest sample.”

“Say you manage to subdue Master Y/N and rid him of the Megamycete. What then?”

“Then we make it clear he’s a part of our family now. And we’ll keep telling him that until he believes it. And when he does, we’ll give him the love we should have given him.”

Alfred looks at him before glancing at his children, all of them nodding in agreement.

“I shall hold all of you to that promise. We have a second chance to right our wrongs. I highly doubt we’ll be given another. But don’t think for a second this conversation is over.”

And with that, the butler turns on his heel and promptly makes his way out of the cave, clearly still furious at them.

“Alright, everyone,” he says, getting their attention. “We have work to do. Barbara, get to the Clocktower and start searching for the Megamycete’s roots. Tim, start analyzing the remains and see what you can find. And be ready to receive new samples. The rest of you, be ready to go out and retrieve the roots.”

They nod and set out to work, leaving him with his thoughts.

Fuck, after hearing all that, his mother probably sees him as a failure now. He had so many opportunities to make this right, but he being the complete and total fuck up that he is, missed them, leaving you all alone to fall into the hands of low-life thugs and a sentient mushroom.

He balls his fists so tight so tight he draws blood, but not caring at the pain or the drops of crimson falling onto the cave floor.

All he had to do was be there for you, love you, tell you he’d always be there for you, but he couldn’t do that. When he first learned of you, he was shocked to hear that he had actually been stupid enough to not take precautions to prevent getting a woman pregnant and actually thought you were an inconvenience, blaming you for something that wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t asked to be born, you didn’t ask to lose your mother in such a tragic way, and you sure as hell didn’t ask to be given to a man who had no right to be called a father.

He—

No, this line of thinking isn’t doing him any favors.

He takes a deep breath and releases it, throwing all his thoughts and emotions into a dark corner of his mind and locking them behind a massive door (like he always does instead of dealing with them in a healthy way). He’s done the same thing to so many other thoughts and feelings, what’s the harm in doing it now?

What he needs to do now is find a way to deal with a Megamycete and figuring out a method of getting close to you to administer it so they can bring you back home. While that’s already an uphill battle, the true war will be convincing you that they’ve changed and that you need to come back to the manor and live with them.

You’re his son and the brother to his children. And as much as you want to deny it, you have Wayne blood coursing through your veins, tying you to him and Gotham. You belong here, by his side.

And when this is over, he’ll throw the largest gala Gotham’s ever seen to show his love for you.

He’ll do whatever it takes if it means having you back home so h and your siblings can bathe you in their love and affection.

Even if it means taking away your powers and dragging you back here.

Like he said, he’s not a good person.

Tag List: @space1crow @lunaluz432 @type-ink @bat1212 @eyeless-kun @deathbynarcisstick @minkyungseokie @orbitingtraveler @1s3v3n1 @nosyrobin @roseytheteacup @bunbunboysworld @kitty-from-daaaa-voidddd @feral-childs-word @phoenixgurl030 @soriansick @hellcatsworld @bellethesleepypotato @prettyboys247 @marsmabe @exactlynumberonekryptonite @paolexsstuff @fantasyhopperhea @c0l1fl0r @ellaprime7 @starryperson @kore-of-the-underworld @kiarst @vanessa-boo @moxiemy @ratchetprime211 @greatwhisperspaper @tatsuri-zomushiki @bunbunbread @starsdotalk @luna57765 @solelifauna @jsprien213 @diejager @lizz-lrm @v0idl1nq @chericia

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

1: LONGING

Masterlist > Chapter 2

Summary: You were born into HYDRA, it wasn't a choice you were offered. The Winter Soldier is thrust into your care and you realize there is more to him than meets the eye.

Pairing: Winter Soldier x HYDRA!reader, Bucky Barnes x HYDRA!reader

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: SMUT: guided masturbation— If there is any more you find not listed here please be sure to let me know so I can add it.

Being born into a HYDRA legacy family was a burden you never asked to bear, a responsibility thrust upon you from the moment you took your first breath. Try as you might, you could never fully escape the dark shadow cast by your family's ties to the sinister organization, its tendrils snaking through every facet of society. No matter how hard you fought, HYDRA's grip was inescapable. As a child, you were shipped off to the HYDRA Preparatory Academy nestled deep in the Appalachian Mountains, where you were indoctrinated in the group's twisted ideology and forced to endure the bitterness of the unforgiving winters - a trial by fire meant to temper your resolve.

Yet, despite HYDRA's best efforts to mold you into a loyal, unquestioning soldier, your sympathetic and tender nature refused to be extinguished. This inherent compassion led you down an unlikely path, guiding you towards a nurturing profession that eventually landed you in the frozen tundra of Siberia. Here, you and two colleagues were tasked with attending to a single HYDRA asset, expected to provide the organization with your complete and unwavering dedication. It was a duty you were well-trained to fulfill, for you were the type who gave your all to every task, driven by an unyielding desire to do good in the world, one person at a time. No matter the personal cost, you would fulfill your obligations to the best of your abilities, driven by a sense of duty that spoke louder than the icy winds that howled outside your door.

You reported to Karpov. He was a ruthless man. He marched you into a room with a leather bound red book in his hand.

“Stay,” he barked at you.

Karpov's gravelly voice then laid bare your new mission; to cater to the asset's every need, to attend to the most minute details of the Winter Soldier's care. From the mundane tasks of washing and grooming him, to tending to his injuries or indulging his wildest desires, you were to be wholly devoted to his well being. The weight of this responsibility settled upon you as you silently nodded, your mind racing with the implications of this assignment.

Suddenly, the ominous sound of a door creaking open pierced the tense silence, and you felt your breath catch in your throat as the infamous Winter Soldier strode into the room, his heavy footfalls echoing with each step. Towering before you, the living embodiment of HYDRA's ruthless efficiency, you could scarcely believe that this legendary operative was now your charge. His history of unparalleled skill and merciless brutality was the stuff of whispered legends, and now you were tasked with catering to his every need. In that moment, the gravity of your mission became painfully clear, and you steeled your resolve, prepared to serve the asset with unwavering dedication.

He was your mission.

“Soldat has just been woken from the cryostasis chamber. Ensure he is ready for his mission in 24 hours.”

As you stood before the soldier, his vacant yet handsome features captivated you. His eyes, devoid of any discernible emotion, seemed to gaze through you rather than at you, leaving you transfixed by the paradox of his striking appearance and unsettling detachment. You found yourself utterly enraptured, unable to look away from this enigmatic figure, your awe manifesting in a stunned silence. It was in this moment of captivation that Karpov, observing your reaction, must have mistaken your rapt fascination for fear. Sensing your unease, he swiftly moved to reassure you, his words cutting through the heavy silence that had enveloped the space between you. 

“He will not hurt you. He will comply,” he said before leaving you alone with the beast before you.

After a few moments of staring at Soldat, his gaze flicked down to meet yours. His ocean blue eyes seemed to soften slightly as they surveyed your form. They raked their way over your appearance with an emotion you couldn't quite identify. His face was still a blank slate but the pale blue windows into his soul betrayed the fire that blazed deep down inside him. 

“Soldat?” you whispered, unsure of how to address your new ward.

Immediately his attention was focused on your face, his gaze boring into yours. “Gotov soblyudat' (ready to comply).” His response was barely a breath.

You surveyed your charge with curiosity, walking around him slowly, taking in his appearance. From the way his unwashed hair stuck to his scalp and his unevenly trimmed bangs obscured his eyes like a sheepdog, down to his dirt covered boots. The higher powers of the agency hadn’t even seen it fit to grace the soldier with the dignity of clean clothes before they had placed him back into the stasis chamber. You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth and a quiet ‘tsk’ left your mouth before you looked back into his surprisingly handsome face. You had never been this close to an asset before and you were shocked by his natural beauty. There was an irresistible pull inside you and you found yourself reaching out to sweep the hair from his eyes, your thumb brushing over his well defined cheek smearing the black camouflage paint over his face.

“We need to get you cleaned up, Soldat.” You turned and made your way over to the dresser on the side of the room that you knew contained clean clothes and towels.

Despite your back being to the soldier, you could feel his stare following you around the room. He didn’t make a sound, just watching as you moved around collecting different items. Unbeknownst to you, the Winter Soldier was suffering from an internal quandary. For the first time in many years, his body was behaving in a way that hadn't been ordered, but it was still out of his control.

His attention was drawn to the unique features of your face, tracing the smooth curves of your waist, right down to the fullness of your ass in the tailored scrubs that hugged your figure in a rather erotic manner. It was always a conscious choice you made, dressing in a way that highlighted your assets. It helped you get noticed in a world full of sadistic, testosterone driven egomaniacs who otherwise wouldn’t lift a finger to help you or those in your care. Your form and bearing were definitely getting you noticed today, not that you’d had a chance to see it.

You handed him a towel and waited for him to move. But the soldier’s only move was to accept your offering, waiting on you for further instruction. The intensity of his stare was unnerving, almost like he could see into your soul. For a moment, you wondered who he had been before, before HYDRA had made him. There was a fire behind those blue eyes, maybe his dreams weren’t as empty as his conscience seemed to be. You lost yourself in contemplation for a moment, admiring the allure of his majestic form, seemingly unaware of the way his presence warmed your body.

“Soldat!” you exclaimed, shaking yourself out of your reverie. Suddenly you remembered the task at hand, not wanting to be caught slacking your duties on the first day of your assignment. “Go and take a shower.”

You watched him comply, traipsing into the adjoining room without closing the door, stopping short of the glass cubicle. He hesitated before stepping inside, fully clothed.

“Stop!” you cried with exasperation, following him without thinking. “You need to take off your clothes first.”

He looked at you with an unfathomable expression and you felt a pang of guilt for your tone. “Take off your clothes first,” you repeated in a more gentle voice. “Before you get in the shower.”

Slowly, Soldat held out the towel gripped in his titanium arm and you accepted. His stillness made you wonder if he even knew what to do next. Did he need more specific instruction? Or were you going to have to undress him yourself? The thought made you blush slightly. This had never come up in the job description. Not that you would object seeing him without clothing. Just as you opened your mouth, he brought his right hand up to his chest.

You watched him undo the fastenings on the vest covering his torso. His biceps bulged with his actions and you wondered if he felt the cold when he slept. It made your heart contract with an unexpected sadness.

Winter shed his layers one at a time as you watched with a burning curiosity. The leather around him unraveling to reveal his chiseled abs and lithe torso. The tiniest gasp escaped your lips as he undid the zipper on his pants, burying his thumbs under the seam to push them down. You averted your gaze as he pushed them to the floor unabashedly. He stood up, frowning with confusion at your reaction. Dignity wasn’t a luxury he had been offered for the last half century and he didn’t understand it.

Seeing you flush made him feel something foreign. It wasn't new, but it wasn't familiar. Like a dim distant memory of a life unlived. It awakened a part of him that they considered to be long dead. Passion. If you hadn’t turned away, you would have noticed how his body reacted to you. His impressive girth swelled and lengthened in response to your presence. Desire. But as he entered the shower, his arousal remained unseen by you. 

“Turn on the water,” you instructed. It finally occurred to you that maybe he needed more detailed instruction, like a complex computer programme. You’d seen how other handlers had kept soldiers as blank slates with electric stimulation targeted at the hippocampus. It suppressed their ability to recall memories and your Soldat had only just been wiped, immediately after being woken from stasis. It made sense that he was befuddled by his handler’s actions.

“Make sure the water isn’t too hot or too cold,” you added, listening for him to adjust the taps.

You closed your eyes, picturing his actions in your mind’s eye, resisting the urge to look over your shoulder to take a peek. It was the lack of change in sound that got your attention. The sound of water falling against his body didn’t seem to be changing in the way you expected of someone who was attempting to clean themselves. There was nothing else for you to do but to look.

If your life was a cartoon, your eyes would have been popping out of your head before falling to the floor and rolling around like golf balls. You wanted to trace the well defined contours of his toned back, eyes settling on where flesh met metal, following the branching scars that spread out like a mycelial network, leaching their poison into his sturdy form. You bit your lower lip to stop a soft whimper escaping when you finally dragged your eyes down to look at his firm ass.

Maybe he could sense the ferocity of your stare, or maybe he caught the soft sound of your stimulation, but he turned around to face you. And as he did so, you became aware of his soldier, standing tall and ready for attention. You were caught off guard by the gargantuan signs of his arousal, not having considered the man before you as anything other than an asset. But here he stood, before you, giving you a full view of his humanity, the passion that resided within. His state was more than just a mere physical response. The asset that you’d been assigned wasn’t just the empty shell of someone who had once been a man, there was still someone behind those cold blue eyes.

“Do you understand what you need to do, Soldat?” you asked, feeling flustered by the situation you had found yourself in.

He nodded and you took this as a cue for you to leave, turning to drape his towel over the nearest hook, you took a step towards the door. Except-

“Ostavat'sya.” (Stay)

There was such a raspiness to his voice, that it was a wonder you even understood the word. Your Russian wasn't as fluent as you would have liked it to be. There was definitely more behind those blue eyes than you had been led to believe. There was more to your job that you'd initially expected. Karpov’s words rang in your ears from earlier. The asset’s every need. The longer you spent with him, the more you noticed that he was coming to life. The emptiness you’d seen when he had stepped into the room had given way to something new, something intense. It was that intensity which drew you in, that made you seek out a connection, that made you feel bold. Bold enough to speak up.

You weren’t exactly shy, there was no room for that in HYDRA. But you were more reserved than the other men and women you’d trained with. You would often let your suitors come to you rather than seek them out. Today though, you were in control.

“Do you need some help with that, Soldat?” you purred.

The Winter Soldier didn’t answer but you saw the ways his eyes became darker, pupils dilated and his breath came faster with anticipation.

“What is it, Soldat? Are you expecting me to do that for you?”

He looked back at you, fire dancing in his eyes. His tongue slipped out of his mouth, ghosting over his stunning lips before giving you a hint of a smirk.

“Do you speak?” you demanded, accepting your dominating role.

“Da.” (yes)

“Do you speak English?” you wondered out loud. Your language skills were not quite as sharp as some of your others. Russian was not your strong suit.

“If you want me to.” The husky tone of his voice made you swoon and your core tingle.

“Is this what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Put your hand on it,” you commanded. 

With a firm, authoritative tone, you commanded him to comply, leaving him no choice but to obey. The moment his warm, calloused hand made contact with the sensitive skin of his shaft, a jolt of electric pleasure shot through him, igniting a burning desire within. Wrapping his fingers around his impressive, throbbing length, he could feel the blood pulsing through his veins as his breath quickened into short, shallow pants. The sensation was overwhelming, every nerve ending alight with sensation. He was rock hard now, aching to be touched, to be stimulated further. Your words had elicited a visceral reaction, and as you wondered what it would feel like to have that rigid, engorged member buried deep inside you, a shiver of anticipation ran down your spine. The very thought of him filling you, stretching you, driving you wild with ecstasy was enough to make your core throb with need. You yearned to find out firsthand just how incredible it would feel, to experience the full, throbbing weight of him inside your most intimate depths. 

“Squeeze.” You ordered and he complied. He would gladly obey you, he was under your spell. His hand tightened around himself, eliciting a low groan. The constriction made his hips jerked involuntarily, making his dick slide through his calloused digits. It was the most salacious sound you'd heard in a long time and you wondered if he would come right then. “Slowly,” you warned.

The blood flow to his cock seemed to have woken his brain as well and he started to take his own initiative. He slid a finger through the small bit of precum dripping from the slit and spread it over the head. You watched as he did as you instructed, running his fist up and down his slick cock.

“That's right. Up and down, loosen on up and tighten going down.”

Your mouth was practically watering, as you pushed away the urge to kneel down and take him into your own mouth. Your front teeth bit down on your lower lip to suppress a whimper as you watched his balls rise up with each stroke. You pondered for a moment before deciding that they needed their own attention. 

“Use your other hand.” You pointed in an instructive way. 

The soldier looked down to where your finger was aimed, at the shining titanium prosthetic they had mercilessly fused to his skin. He started lifting his metal palm as you asked, always ready to comply. But something in his face changed. It was subtle, but you could sense the disgust of what you had asked of him. What did he think of the gift that HYDRA had given him?

“No?”

He slowed his pumping to answer you. “Net… no.”

“Fine.” You had never been cruel. Your job was care. “Carry on.”

His eyes flicked back up to yours in an unasked question. Did he want something more? Did you dare ask for something you weren't sure you were ready for?

You watched your soldier, studying his expressions as he pleasured himself. Attention to detail had always been your strong point, reading the flickers of emotions on people's faces and how they told their untold stories, things they wished to keep undisclosed. It wasn’t just his face that told you that he was close to coming undone.

He had increased the speed of his movements, his eyes half closed, his spine arched and pelvis thrusted forwards into his hand, almost mindless in his lust and uncaring of his audience. His reckless abandon seemed to defy all your preconceptions for the Winter Soldier. Everything you had heard about him came down to control, and here he stood before you lost in an almost animalistic appetite with no thought or concern of judgment. You were taken aback by the vulnerability he showed in front of you, sharing this intimate part of him, you’d never seen any documentation of this sort of behavior from an asset before. It felt exhilarating and your body responded to it in kind.

You could feel your arousal pooling between your legs and you pushed your thighs together in an attempt to quell the feeling, only succeeding in creating a thrilling friction that sent a shock through your body. It was instinctive. You reached out, slipping a finger under the rugged ridge of his chin, gently tiling his face up towards yours. As his gaze met yours, his eyes widened, blazing with a mixture of lust and surprise. The blues of his irises had vanished completely, his eyes blackened completely by desire. A low guttural sound came from his throat. Then you understood, he wanted your permission to let go. So you gave it to him.

“Do it. Cum.”

You shivered as his eyes lost their focus, you watched as his cock throbbed expectantly. Your breath shuddered along with his as he made a mess, his cock spurting out what looked like a river of pent up seed, painting the tiles of the shabby bathroom. Your eyes widened as lewd moans fell off his lips in the most sinful manner as he pumped himself as the last and strongest wave of pleasure engulfed him. Goosebumps erupted across your flesh as a shiver traveled down your spine as you watched his jaw slacken and his member soften. He finally looked back up at you.

“Spasibo.” (Thank you) His hoarse voice was barely audible.

“That's quite a mess you've made, Soldat. I hope you aren't expecting me to clean you up.” You turned around and left him to his own devices. 

You tinkered around with his uniform, checking the fastening and leather harness that he usually wore. Waiting for him to return to you. You knew he would and he did. In silence, he followed your instructions, let you dry his hair and paint his face, finally tightening his belt. Just in time as Karpov unceremoniously stormed into the room.

“Soldat!” He pointed at the door, indicating for the asset to move out.

Your heart shattered into pieces, hearing the cruel tone he had used when addressing the Winter Soldier. Your instinctual response was to defend your asset, but you knew better than to go up against Karpov. He would only take your protest as an excuse to punish the soldier.

With one last look, he lowered his head and whispered. “Do svidaniya, Kotyonok.” (Goodbye, Kitten)

Masterlist > Chapter 2

[starcurtain]

Following Topaz's explanation that Cornerstones are made to fill the hole in the user's heart, what "hole" in Aven's heart do you think his drag queen powers are meant to fill? Especially since Topaz remarks he's the only one with such showy powers

Still trying to catch up with all the messages in the inbox; sorry to everyone for taking a million years to respond.

So cunty, and for what???

Anyway, first, when Jade talks about the Stonehearts' "voids," the alternate reading above that word is actually "ambition." And she mentions that the reason she risked reaching out to Firefly is that she views herself as similar to Firefly--Jade is someone with an unfulfilled wish.

I think there's enough here to suggest that the Stonehearts' voids are not quite what we would normally think of when hearing the word "void"--rather than being best understood as something removed or something lost, their voids seem to be "something desired." An unfulfilled goal. An unmet need. A burning ambition. A secret wish. They all have somewhere they want to get to, and they've signed on-board with Diamond's Preservation project because his power is the fastest way--maybe the only way--to get there.

The implication here, by the way, is that the Stonehearts are acting out the very act of Preservation itself with Diamond. The goal of Qlipoth is for the universe to be saved, an unshakeable resolution to stop Destruction's wanton obliteration. Thus, Preservation itself can be understood as "A desire that must be continuously protected and relentlessly pursued." To live. To endure.

In using the power of an emanator to protect and provide the Stonehearts with ways to pursue their own desires, we replicate in miniature the exact resolve and endless pursuit of perseverance that Qlipoth is acting out in the broader universe. The will of Preservation empowers the Stonehearts--and in turn, the Stonehearts swear an oath to aid in Preservation's mission. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement, and it also simultaneously imitates Jade's shop perfectly: I'll give you exactly what you want, if you give me what I need.

I should clarify that I don't actually think the cornerstones themselves fill the Stonehearts' voids. Rather, they seem to me to be a tangible symbol of the oath between Diamond and the Stonehearts--"I'll give you this power to fulfill your deepest wish, if you work for me." Jade suggests that the power of the cornerstones provides Stonehearts with the means to fill their voids (I.e., having superpowers makes it possible for you to pursue your wish), so I think their individual cornerstone abilities are best understood as "The exact power I need to achieve my particular goal."

So what does that say about Aventurine's "showy" transformation?

Pretty much all the rest of this is just going to be my personal speculation, but I'd say the most telling glimpse we get into why Aventurine's power is so "visual" comes from these lines with the future "Aventurine" in 2.1:

There's two completely contradictory desires being expressed here: Aventurine's life "is the chip he's most eager to lay down" and "always has been"--that is, he genuinely wants to die. He isn't just willing to gamble with his life, he's eager to. The future "Aventurine" also says real Aventurine wants to be "polished up" (to be controlled and molded by others) and "cuffed with red-hot chains" (to be made powerless and not responsible for making his own decisions, to be punished).

But conversely, the real Aventurine also wants to be perceived as "a smooth operator" and "the solid gold deal-maker who doesn't waste a drop of sweat." He wants to be in charge of his image. He wants to be the one who controls the narrative and defines how others think of him. He wants to be "spotlit center stage"--to command the eyes of the world. In short, we could say that Aventurine wants his death (and conversely, his life) to mean something.

From these conflicting desires, I think you can derive a few totally opposite but equally valid interpretations of why Aventurine's cornerstone power is so "visual":

A combat-oriented transformation is another means to seek death.

Jade's power is scary, but she isn't using it to literally launch herself into fights. Topaz's seems to be similar--something that might allow her to win over her opponents in some way (she was about to use it in Belobog to no-sell the Trailblazer), but she clarifies directly that it is not a "transformation." Aventurine just literally turns into a boss enemy and goes straight out on to the battlefield.

In the fight, he doesn't even use shields. (Now whether that's something he never does because the cornerstone powers don't actually come with shields while in his monster form, if he couldn't use shields because his cornerstone was broken, or if he just chose not to use shields in this fight to give Trailblazer and Co. a fighting chance, only time will tell. However, it might be worth noting that his empowered Apocalyptic Shadow form doesn't come with shields either, despite having other new mechanics.)

The point is, this form, while looking cool and seeming strong, is actually a gamble in and of itself. To go out onto the battlefield, where you might not actually be the strongest combatant, is always a risk. And I think this is the kind of risk that Aventurine manifests continually in his life. He is constantly creating opportunities for his own luck to fail. His unfulfilled desire, the "ambition" he was desperate enough to join the Stonehearts to pursue--as his original goal to save his people is completely gone, his only current goal might actually just be a chance to die. His powers may manifest as a combat-oriented transformation because that is just one more way to throw himself into the crossfire.

In fact, this is exactly what Sugilite accuses him of in Jade's myriad celestia:

You didn't need to snatch his wig this hard, Sugilite. (Also I need you all to know I originally wrote "You didn't need to come for him this hard, Sugilite," but then I realized how unfortunate that wording was, so...)

You could even argue that the fact Aventurine's transformation comes with a mask that obscures his entire face is a sign that we're supposed to see this form as dehumanizing.

The facial features are completely obscured and asymmetrical, there's no mouth, his fingers have become claws--despite his body staying mostly human-shaped, it's obviously intended to hint at something monstrous, subsuming his original identity behind a violent facade.

Kakavasha disappears entirely behind "Aventurine" when he transforms, becoming a faceless enemy at the risk of (perhaps in hopes of) entirely losing himself. Maybe every transformation lets Aventurine throw himself closer and closer to the edge of death--and perhaps, before Penacony, only death could ever have filled the "void."

But, on the complete opposite hand (because Aventurine is always both sides of the coin), we could also argue the other end of the spectrum entirely:

A combat-oriented transformation is a show of force.

This screencap brought to you by Mr. Rubhen925 of Youtube.

Aventurine's entire life has been marred by disenfranchisement, by violations of his basic human rights, freedoms, and agency. At every turn, he has been victimized by others more powerful than himself: his childhood consisted of his clan being relentlessly hounded and hunted to extinction by the Katicans, having their food constantly stolen, their meager belongings burned to the ground, and each one of his family members systematically slaughtered, often in front of his eyes.

After his childhood, he was bought and sold as chattel for pennies, branded like an animal, and forced into a fight where to he had to beat other innocent people to death just to keep himself alive, all for the entertainment of the masses. Even Jade, who promised to help him achieve his goals, treats him like a business investment more than a friend.

In Penacony, we watch everyone he talks to degrade and ostracize him. Even though Aventurine led him into doing it, Sunday tortures and re-traumatizes him live for our entertainment.

Even more that, we see Aventurine constantly struggling with the question of whether his life is really his own or whether his blessing from Gaiathra means that his entire existence has been predetermined, his fate sealed in blood and sand from the very moment of his birth, utterly inescapable.

No matter how Aventurine tries to portray himself as the ultimate winner, he's only ever the "final" victor--being the only one left standing at the end is meaningless if on the road to getting there, you were treated like fate's favorite punching bag. Winning in the end is utterly pointless if on the road to winning, you still lost it all first, from the things you loved to your personal freedom.

What does a person who has been made powerless again and again truly desire? What void do you seek to fill if life has denied you your agency over and over?

Power. Dominance. The ability to literally strike back at those who've wronged you. The strength to intimidate and force people into a corner the way you've been intimidated and forced before.

If we say that Aventurine's "void" is not a literal desire for the release of death, then it might make sense for the "void" to instead to be a frantic desire to gain control over his circumstances. To be the one finally in charge of deciding his own fate.

Particularly in light of his character story which tells us that Kakavasha's original goal for joining the Stonehearts was to save his people, the desire to take on an impressive form that screams "I'm powerful" and has the ability to physically enact vengeance on others feels directly aligned. And it remains aligned even after the reveal that the Avgins are all gone--once more fate strips Kakavasha of his power to make a difference in the world, to achieve what he truly dreams of.

The Apocalyptic Shadow version of his boss fight is called "Desperate Diceroller."

How angry he must be, deep down. How hateful the world must seem. How sad it is to feel that way.

If destiny won't let you out of the cage, your only choice is to grow claws to tear it open.

Okay, but WHY so much swag though?

Are the peacock feathers and spandex really necessary?

Listen. Everyone talks about Ratio having "gifted kid" syndrome, but I'm here to tell you that Aventurine is actually a burnt out gifted kid extraordinaire.

He's literally, canonically, explicitly the chosen one of his people.

From the moment of his birth, his mother and sister--and presumably others in his clan even--were telling him that he was their clan's most precious treasure and that he would lead them to prosperity and safety.

He carried this weight even after fleeing from the massacre, all through his childhood and teenage years, through slavery and abuse, putting his very life on the line to join the IPC in hopes of finally fulfilling the destiny his mother and sister promised he could.

He was supposed to save them. That was his meaning. That was his purpose in life.

But he was too late.

The fate he was born for, raised believing, and risked everything to achieve... is still incomplete.

So, for all that talk about suicide and power-seeking, my real answer is this: Aventurine's "void" is his unfulfilled destiny.

His whole existence has been predetermined, his life's journey laid out in prophecy and blessings from the very beginning. Yet what he thought was his fate betrayed him, and where you head after becoming an unsuccessful chosen one is a question without answer.

His thoughts constantly circle around how he is a "failure" and a "loser."

When you have no sense of purpose, when your life has no meaning, when what you are still seeking is the role you were supposed to have from the moment of your birth: the glorious destiny of being a savior, being the "happiness" of your people, being the hero...

Of course you crave the spectacle. Of course you long for the spotlight--you long to be recognized. Because Kakavasha's the chosen one. "Spotlit center stage" is where he's supposed to be--in the leading role that was stolen from him.

I think that Aventurine's cornerstone transformation is so flashy because, at the core, it represents a longing to truly be the "precious wealth" of the Avgin that his sister promised him he would be. It represents his desire to transform from a useless, "discarded" person into a larger-than-life version of himself. (Hey, fun fact, out of every official depiction of Aventurine, his boss model wears the only outfit in which his slave brand is not naturally visible.) He literally transforms into a supernatural being, capable of seizing others' fates in his hands. It represents the power he needed to save his people and himself. Its extreme flashiness screams for attention, demands to be witnessed as something beyond a helpless human.

It's almost as if Aventurine is a child writing a wish-fulfillment story where he transforms into a hyper-glamorous, all-powerful masked superhero who is capable of saving the day and winning against his enemies every time.

Unlike Jade and Topaz, Aventurine can't hide his deepest desire. It was always going to be a "transformation," because Aventurine's unanswered wish is to be someone better than himself.

His "void," his deepest unachieved ambition--it's written right there, all over his body.

Aventurine's cornerstone power is a story he's telling himself about the person he was supposed to be.

But as Acheron claims, that's life itself.

Aventurine doesn't feel like he has any control over his journey's ultimate destination.

He doesn't know where's he's headed or what the purpose of it all is. But...

Jade explicitly describes the Ten Stonehearts and Diamond's endeavor as a "journey" as well:

Because Preservation represents the continuance of life itself, and the Stonehearts with their endless "voids"--Aventurine with his soul-deep longing to become someone better than himself--represent all of us very real human beings, trying our best to find our own "cornerstones," to gain the means to finally, finally achieve our own sweet dreams.

[riririnnnn]

Noa really gasted all my flabbers.

Before this chapter (278), I knew that he is the World's Best Striker, but after this chapter (278), I can see why he is the World's Best Striker. He is literally him. It's like looking at some kind of genius mastermind of some sort. The "Instead of assisting my teammates to win 1-0, it feels better to pull off a hat trick and lose 3-4" makes so, so much more sense now!

I won't lie, till now, his character did seem pretty bland to me—just some dude established as someone at the top of the game who was, in the end, going to adopt the protagonist in some way and then the sappy ending of student winning over the mentor.

Oh boy was I wrong.

The curveball he just threw at me, hurled me outta this universe. And just like in Loki's case, I feel like a fool once again since I have misunderstood Noa's whole character.

Firstly:

You know how some things just stand out for no reasons at all? Like, it's a trivial thing, but it just keeps on silently scratching the back of your head—the above panel happened to be that exact thing for me. My dumb ahh was really thinking, "Tf they talking about?" when I first saw this panel.

Before this small exchange, Noa was taking about how there are two philosophies in BM—and it depicted Kaiser and Isagi in the opposite of eachother—and this is exactly when, according to me, the whole Kaiser Vs Isagi rivalry's roots got firmly cemented. Yes, I do understand this rivalry started when Kaiser grabbed Isagi by his chin, but hear me out, okay?

You see this thing above?

Yes. Exactly.

We were told that BM's basic principle is Logic and Rationality, and considering Noa's personality, one can assume that Blue Lock-ers in this team would've been coerced into following this motto too, but Noa didn't do remotely anything like that. In fact, in all the other NEL teams, the coaches low-key molded the Blue Lock-ers to their respective mottos whereas Noa remained hands-off throughout everything—one of the main reasons why the majority of the Fandom considered him the worst coach in NEL.

But, well, I used to use this (above) reason to defend him—that he isn't tampering with Blue Lockers' originalities by letting them do things on their own accords just like Ego used to do.

Keyword: I used to.

Because I really don't know what to feel now that I've a whole different perspective in my hands—look at this:

These are Kaiser's words.

Kaiser was, in a way, already competing against Noa in BM, and now Isagi was added into the equation too which made him more hostile. I mean, instead of disregarding the rather, comparatively, un-rational philosophy of the Blue Lock-ers, Noa was accepting it and giving it room to grow! And if this philosophy won, then Kaiser (not in a literal sense) would be wiped off of the team! Further, it also seems like a small jab of, "You think you are the shit? Then prove yourself." which Kaiser was able to sense, and that's why, I think, he asked, "Are you testing me?"

Secondly:

LMFAO LAVINHO'S FACE! THIS IS MY FAV PANEL OF HIM!

I highly admired Noa for never stepping in the field until and unless the opposite team's coach had stepped in. It used to be my favourite argument for defending Noa's coaching ability. And just like my previous point, I can't look at this the same way anymore.

Of course, he isn't wrong—the coaches stepping in definitely throws off the balance in the field. But, well, if the power dynamics shift too abruptly and too much, it would tip off Kaiser and that'd ruin Noa's plan for the NEL—it would also tip off Isagi which would also ruin Noa's plan for the NEL.

So, in short and straightforward words, he always stepped in the field for the sake of himself and not for the sake of younger players in his team.

Thirdly:

This convo happened after Shidou's goal—PxG's first goal in their match with BM.

Right after these words left Loki's mouth, Noa went out to make changes in the positions of BM—he went out to suggest things and all just like an actual coach would do. And though this panel stood out to me in an odd way, I also remember finding it so damn hilarious for him, seemingly, being threatened by a mere 17 year old—I was actually going to make fun of him for this when this chapter (253) came out, but then I guess I chose to do otherwise.

I think it's because before this chapter (253) dropped, I was going to make a wholesome post about the possible relation between Noa and Loki since they are from the same national team—some kind of Father-Son relation. But then the I saw their convo and felt embarrassed, and probably decided to not talk about them till more of their story got revealed.

Now their convo makes a lot of sense in a different way.

And lastly:

I remember being caught so off guard by this. Like, till that point, Noa had never ever talked regarding Kaiser in such a way—it nearly felt as if he were rooting for him, and I found it so sweet that I even included it here.

But now that we have a bigger picture, it doesn't seem that much sweet to me anymore.

I can't understand how I dismissed his poker face in the (above) panel as simply his usual emotionless self when it clearly looks like he isn't surprised at all—like he knew what was unfolding in front of him beforehand, like he was expecting it and.. he was quite literally expecting it, didn't he?

All this time I thought that Loki was the sneakiest about his personal goals in NEL meanwhile Noa was two steps ahead from the start.

[little-pondhead]

Thinking about if Dani ever gets added to the Villain Everlasting Trio au, like how would she fit in? Obviously the JL would have to figure out she's a clone and try and figure out why she exists ("maybe fenton is just that narcissistic?" flash asks, meanwhile batman is already texts agent a to get ready another room in addition to the three already prepared). Maybe she acts like the innocent kid in danger until heroes get close? batfamily trying to pspspsps her away from fenton? The trio collectively calling her their daughter?

I love this au so much, even if I still don't fully forgive you for making Tucker hot.

The way I SPRINTED to my computer.

Disclaimer: This particular AU has nothing to do with Fun Sized and Feral by @nutcase8691 or my Dani Fenton redesign from a while ago. This isn’t really important, but I thought the plot of this au might be straying the tiniest bit too close to the Feral AU (which I love btw) and I just didn’t want to cause confusion.

TLDR: Dani had to mature too quickly in their home world, so when she arrived in the DC universe, she finally got to slow down and be a kid. :)

Okay okay. Give me a moment. Since everyone is acting like the opposite of their usual self when they're playing villains, your question was, how would she fit in? To backtrack to this earlier post, I said that each of the trio's specific gimmicks somehow ties into their everyday lives. They looked at their immediate friends, family and acquaintances, picked out the traits they saw as 'villainous,' and then applied that to themselves.

Danny became a mad scientist because even though his parents love him through and through, they still hurt him the most. The threat of capture and dissection from the GIW didn't help, either. He wears a suit similar to his parents, pushes his hair up so he can see better, and his white lab coat looks a little like the GIW's suits. The suit is also red, which is the opposite of green, distancing himself further from his hero life as Phantom and connecting him more to his civilian self, where red is present on his shirt. He refuses to use his powers, as well.

Sam looks like an angel, which seems odd given her completely goth look and slightly pessimistic attitude. And if she uses her plant powers (shut up, she totally has them) as part of Team Phantom, then that rules out using them as a villain. They want to completely separate these alter-egos from each other. Well, one of the most significant sources of strife in Sam's personal life is her parents. In the show, they're seen constantly fighting with Sam, trying to mold her into their perfect daughter, when Sam is very obviously happy with how she is right now. So as a silent fuck you to her parents, Sam gets a hold of a Realm artifact, the halo, which gives her a pair of ghostly wings and the ability of flight. Now, she's the one in the air, and Sam is still doing what she does best, even as an angel. She tries to show the world that not all angels are perfect, and in fact, they can be downright monstrous. (This is where her more aggressive and destructive attitude comes in.)

As far as I'm aware, Tucker doesn't have any trauma related to his parents. (The lucky bastard.) He is the tech-nerd stereotype, however. And since he's from a cartoon from 2004, that means he gets bullied. A lot. The show focuses mainly on Danny, but you cannot tell me Tucker wasn't bullied like that, either. For the sake of the au, let's say Danny was taking all the beatings for Tucker. Maybe he was in canon; I can't remember. But not only is Tucker being physically bullied but so is his best friend. (Eventually lover!) And imagine his feelings when Team Phantom shows up to a ghost fight, and Tucker is absolutely useless the entire time. He just can't help at all. Danny and Sam are on the front lines, redirecting hits and doing damage control, and here he is, waiting for the Wi-Fi to catch up on his PDA. It eats him up. He wants to be helpful in more ways than one, and that's what the DC universe gives him. He takes another Realm artifact; this time, it's actually his by birthright, and the artifact drastically increases his physical power, just like he's always wanted. He learns Egyptian magic and dresses in a way that gives homage to his time in Egypt-which was traumatizing by itself, but hey, he has sweet beetle magic now.

Basically, Fenton, Manson, and Foley are all the results of the trio's frustrations and fears. They become the things they stress about the most to help cope with their everyday lives. The DC universe is their outlet.

So where does Dani fit in?

Well, Dani is a clone, as we know. Her creation and introduction to the world were rather sudden if you compare her to a typical baby. And that's what she is; a baby. Unless you jumped the timeline far into the future, Dani is barely a year old in canon (I think.) And after her team-up with Danny to defeat Vlad, she makes the decision to leave Amity and travels the world. She has to navigate an entire world independently, even if Danny wants to help her. So now, plop her in the DC verse. What's the opposite of an independent clone who's had to fend for herself from a very young age and has had almost no real familial bonds?

A kid. A scared, touched-starved child who's had no one to look after her for who knows how long. (Vlad doesn't count here.) Dani gets to the DC verse and cries because she and Danny can finally bond like she always wanted to. She doesn't have to put up a strong front because the trio is there to protect her. Dani is extremely young, and now she can finally be a kid. It's not mental age regression; instead, Dani no longer has to hold herself back from doing childish things or crying. Both are things that could be a danger when you're living on the streets. She spends almost all her time here now.

The Everlasting Trio had already missed her before, but they had just fully adopted her in this new world. Dani is their baby. Their little girl. She didn't ask to be born-she shouldn't have to suffer because it was unsafe at home. Well, they can make a new one, just for her, here in this universe. And look! There’s more clones for her to bond with! The GZ is more accessible than ever, and their commute between universes really isn’t that bad. They like it here! And the heroes and villains will never take her away, no matter how hard they try. Sure, Dani can have playdates with some of them, but she will wail and scream if anyone so much as suggests she stay the night without her parent's permission.

Oh, and she never stops being a little shit. If anyone doubts that Fenton and Dani are related, they are simply ushered online to see that one viral clip of Dani latching on to King Shark with her teeth and not letting go in the middle of a shopping plaza. The camera pans to the left a moment later, and the audience spots Fenton doing the exact same thing to John Constantine.

The first time the Justice League meets Dani, it's right after she got lost during a spacewalk with Danny and Sam. She enters the first place she sees, the Watchtower, and breaks down in front of Wonder Woman about how she can't find her parents and doesn't know how to get home. The heroes are baffled and try to comfort her until Danny comes barging in five minutes later, panicking over his baby girl missing. They reunite, the heroes are reeling, and Superman mentions he didn't think Fenton was old enough to have a kid.

Fenton looks up from his bear hug and goes: "Huh? Oh, no. I'm only seventeen. (work with me here) Dani is technically my clone, but we adopted her properly as soon as possible."

And now the League has two issues. Their most annoying enemy is only seventeen. And he has a clone.

What the f u c k.

Extra analysis: Dani's outfit is cleaner and a little fancier than what she wore in the show. She ties her hair up like Tucker and pins her bangs back like Sam. She already looks identical to Danny but likes to wear his sweaters, especially in cold weather. The oversized clothes remind her of her time with Danny in Amity Park, and helps hide her physique better, so it's hard to tell how old she is. She wears leggings to show that she no longer has to fight for her life every day on the streets. Now that the trio adopted her, she can relax and let someone else take the hits for a while. (We all know how fast leggings and tights can be ruined when doing literally anything.) Fright Knight gifts her a cursed doll that helps protect her in stressful situations and functions like an SOS beacon. JLD hates the bear. (She named it Strawbeary.)

She acts on her impulses more often, which the trio sees as a good thing. Even if that impulsive desire gets her in trouble, it gives everyone a chance to learn and grow as a family. Dani also refrains from going ghost at first, following her dad's wishes. Right now, she's just giving herself a break from her previous nomadic lifestyle. After a bit, she and Danny will bond over their halfa status, and she'll grow into her own unique core and powerset. The heroes dread the day the littlest Fenton decides to join her parents in their shenanigans.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Feyd Rautha Would Include

Absolutely ruthless. Feyd is the kind of yandere who would do literally anything for you. He would go to any lengths to protect you, whether it be killing, torturing, or even starting a war if necessary. Nothing would stop him from keeping you safe. He would also be hyper-possessive and jealous, going so far as to kill anyone who tried to get close to you or take you away from him. You're his and nobody else's as far as Feyd is concerned.

Feyd craves absolute devotion and possession over those he cares about. He has a deep-seated fear of rejection, leading him to become increasingly possessive and controlling in relationships. His idea of love is rooted in possessiveness, making him fiercely protective and jealous if he perceives that his love is threatened.

He will go to great lengths to keep this person close, often resorting to manipulative and coercive tactics. Despite his intensity, he also harbors complex feelings of insecurity and neediness, fueling his excessive behavior to maintain the connection he desires.

Feyd would also be extremely obsessive and possessive; constantly stalking and monitoring your every move. He would become extremely aggressive and abusive if his partner ever tried to distance themselves or end the relationship - going so far as to physically restrain you. He would also be extremely controlling and manipulative, using any means necessary to ensure that his partner stayed with him. This could include gaslighting, guilt-tripping, making threats, etc. Essentially, Feyd is the embodiment of the absolute extreme of yandere. There is no limit to what he will do.

Feyd would be incredibly obsessed with you. He would spend hours obsessing over everything about you - your quirks, your habits, even the way you move. He would want to understand you completely and would never hesitate to ask you a thousand questions.

He's a control freak, to say the least. Feyd would want to have complete control over your life. He would monitor you, track your movements, dictate your relationships, and make sure you're doing exactly what he believes is best for you. He's also a major sadist and has no issue with inflicting pain on others. If you were to try and run away, Feyd would do anything to ensure that you never leave his sight again.

Feyd would always be watching you, always making sure that he knew where you are at all times. He would become easily paranoid when it comes to you, and would always be thinking about the worst-case scenarios. He would also be extremely violent and aggressive to anyone or anything that even so much as looks at you the wrong way. If someone were to try and hurt you, Feyd would make sure they regretted it deeply and would do whatever it took to protect you from harm.

Despite his cruel nature, Feyd would want and expect absolute loyalty and devotion from your end as well. You must be completely committed to him and never waver in your fealty to House Harkennon.

He's demanding, egotistical, arrogant, and unapologetic in his approach to any situation. Feyd is used to getting what he wants, and he sees no reason as to why you'd be an exception to this rule. He's confident in his abilities to mold you into the perfect partner, and he's not afraid to use violence to ensure you stay in line.

Feyd has a very twisted view of love. He believes that pain and suffering are a normal part of a relationship and that to love someone means to go to extreme lengths for them. He would also be completely obsessed with you, to the point where he would think and dream about you constantly. You would be his everything and he'd go through anything to make you happy.

He may also have a secret room hidden away somewhere that contains your old belongings - like photos, clothes, and other personal items - which he would guard fiercely.

He's obsessed with you, to the point that he would see the whole world burn before ever letting you go. Feyd has a tendency to switch his emotions rapidly from love to sheer bloodlust. He can go from tender and affectionate to cold and cruel in a matter of seconds.

He craves your attention and validation, to the point of being desperate at times. Feyd would constantly look for ways to make you happy, even if it involved doing terrible things.

Feyd is an intensely jealous person. This includes both romantic jealousy (if he finds out you’re interested in someone else) and non-romantic jealousy (fear of you abandoning or betraying him). It wouldn’t be odd for him to snap and attack your love rival, or start a violent argument with you over it to get you to pay more attention to him.

He typically puts on an arrogant and cold presence when around others, often displaying a condescending and slightly cruel attitude. Feyd isn’t interested in small talk and pleasantries, he sees them as pointless wastes of time. Only a select few people (such as the emperor himself) are given his true respect.

Feyd is actually very good at giving reassurance, albeit with a possessive undertone. He often reassures you physically, holding you tightly as if to make sure you can't slip away from him. He likes to shower you with compliments and praise, both public (in front of others to emphasize that you're his) and private (whispering them into your ear).

Feyd is very good at rewarding you for doing as he says. He will heap praises on you and shower you with gifts for following his orders. Feyd is also an excellent provider, making sure you have anything and everything you could possibly need or want. If you follow his orders, not only will you get rewarded accordingly, but the amount of love that Feyd has for you will grow exponentially each time you prove your obedience.

Feyd can get extremely creative with punishments. He is not above using physical torture as a form of teaching. Feyd also knows how to use emotional manipulation to get what he wants, such as making you feel unworthy for disobeying him. He may also decide to cut you off from the world for a period of time, forcing you into isolation so he can be the only one to decide what you do and when you do it. Feyd is a sadist by default, so he enjoys punishing you.

Feyd is naturally a very aggressive and confrontational person, so he is used to fighting with others. He can get extremely heated during arguments, often shouting and using intimidating tactics to get his point across. When you fight with him, he will do anything to make sure that he wins. Whether it be verbally berating you or threatening your loved ones, Feyd will do whatever it takes. His love for you can easily turn into anger if he perceives you not following behind him.

Feyd will go all out with dates, trying to give the most expensive and luxurious dates as he has the means to do so. He will often book tables at the finest restaurants and then take you out on a romantic walk in a beautiful park in the quiet hours of the night. He sees this as a time for you and you alone, so Feyd will take steps to ensure every date is isolated from outside interference. He will be possessive and protective during each date, constantly monitoring you, holding your hand, or even kissing you.

Feyd is a very physically affectionate person and will take every chance he gets to touch you. He loves holding your hand and kissing you, even if others are watching. He will also be very cuddly and clingy, often hugging or holding you for no reason. He loves showing affection in public, as much as possible. He sees this as a way to lay down his claim on you and warn away others.

Feyd is a very physically affectionate person and will take every chance he gets to touch you. He loves holding your hand and kissing you, even if others are watching. He will also be very cuddly and clingy, often hugging or holding you for no reason. He loves showing affection in public, as much as possible. He sees this as a way to lay down his claim on you and warn away others.

Well, Feyd is the heir to his planet's royal family, so marriage is probably something that would be forced on him if he didn't already want it. He would definitely want a big, luxurious wedding that's the talk of the entire galaxy. There will be grand processions, lots of food, a huge feast, expensive gifts, and beautiful decorations. After the actual wedding ceremony and reception, he'll take you back to his massive palace to celebrate privately.

Feyd is all for having children, as it will allow him to further extend his bloodline. He would make a very protective and possessive father, shielding his children from everything and everyone that is deemed as a threat, and only allowing what he sees as the highest quality of food and clothing for them. Feyd would have a multitude of nurses and other servants to help look after his children, so he would make sure they were constantly under watch at all times. He will also encourage them to become as powerful as they can, making them train in combat.

Feyd is someone who gets what he wants, so he’d be extremely insistent on you having kids. If you told him you could not have children, he would likely seek a divorce and find another partner who could give him children. If you are unwilling to have children, Feyd will try his hardest to pressure you, manipulate you, or, if all else fails, force himself upon you. He may also have you sent to a hospital to do medical procedures on you, in order to make it possible to have children.

"You belong to me, and me only. Your body, your mind, your soul - everything about you is mine. You are my property. I will do anything to keep you close. If any man even so much as looks in your general direction, I will kill them. I will never let you go... You love me, yes? Then never forget who you belong to."

Ownership and Power - Feyd loves to dominate, and the feeling of being in control is something he craves. He loves the idea of having you belong to him, and being able to give and withhold affection or pleasure as he sees fit.

Sadism and Masochism - Feyd really likes to push your limits, both in terms of pain and pleasure. He enjoys the feeling of having you completely submit to him and the power that comes from being in charge.

Teasing and denial - Feyd likes to toy with your emotions, such as teasing you with the promise of potential reward, then punishing and denying you.

Restraint - Feyd enjoys using various methods to restrain you. This can be as simple as using rope or handcuffs, or more creative options like a collar and leash.

Humiliation and Degradation - Feyd also enjoys humiliating and degrading his partner as a way to assert his dominance and control. This could be anything from name-calling to public humiliation.

Feyd is a very sexually active person and loves to take the lead and be in control. He's open to experimenting with lots of different kinks, but he really enjoys things like light bondage, light humiliation, impact play, sensory play, and breath control. Additionally, Feyd also has a strong fetish for certain materials and textures, such as leather, lace, ropes, and ribbons.

[meazalykov]

Good Game, Sal

Salma Paralluelo x Barca!Reader

summary: are they enemies, or lovers?

Salma Paralluelo and I, both rising stars of Barcelona's Femeni team, shared more than just a common jersey; we shared a rivalry that burned hotter than the Catalan sun on a July afternoon.

Salma, with her quick footwork and innate goal-scoring abilities, was a product of La Masia, Barcelona's renowned youth academy. Her journey to the top seemed paved with gold, crowned by her recent triumph in the World Cup with the Spanish national team. Me, on the other hand, hailed from a humbled path, I considered my talent raw and untamed, molded through sheer determination and grit.

Growing up in the United States, I’ve played through many unknown summer leagues, clubs mainly filled with boys, school teams, and futsal in the winter months before I put the pen on paper with Washington Spirit at the age of 15. 

After four great years with building my talent, creating new friendships, and enjoying my life in the United States Capital, my contract was expiring. 

Washington Spirit offered me a renewal, but Barcelona contacted my agent with a proposal that sent my jaw dropping to the floor. The Catalan Club was my dream club while growing up. I’ve admired Alexia Putellas, Ronaldinho, Messi, and Xavi for years. So I followed my heart and denied another four years in Washington DC, so I can accomplish my dream. 

However, I had to put in hard work when I arrived in Barcelona. This challenge was needed, since the challenge to score on the pitch fuels my passion. However, I didn’t expect a rivalry to happen WITHIN the club rather than the opponents I’ve played against.

First, it was a constant competition for playing time. Overtime, I’ve thought that I harbored a deep-seated resentment towards Salma, envying her success, her effortless grace on the pitch. 

Against Madrid CFF, my debut game in September, I scored a brace that drove the club to win 4-0. Afterwards, I’ve held a record for scoring at least once in a game I’ve had minutes in. 

However, Salma seemed to have the upper hand when it came to having a start. I had to swallow my pride every time I had to be her 67th minute substitute. She always hugged me when she would come off, but my body would tense up everytime. Nobody noticed the small resentment for her, except for Salma herself. She started to piece small things together. 

“You did great today Niña, I'm impressed by your dribbling and speed in training.” Alexia, or my captain Ale, patted me on the back as we headed into the locker rooms after training. A few days ago, we won the Champions League semi-final against Chelsea. Thanks to a goal from Aitana, Fridolina, and I. 

Alexia was a huge advocate for me which made my heart melt. I’ve admired her as a fan but now I am her teammate, so I express my gratitude to her whenever its possible. 

“Thank you. I learn from the best people surrounding me.” I smirked and Alexia breathed out a chuckle. Something the girls noticed when I came to the club is how much I’ll compliment or support people on their skills. Aitana said that I've been a light in the dressing room when it comes to boosting morale. This is a reason why people don’t notice a small resentment I held for a-certain-someone on the team. 

“Well, Don’t get your hopes up when I say this— but Jona might consider you as a starter for the final— Don’t take that as a guarantee, but your speed will be needed against Lyon's defense” Alexia’s Spanish accent poked through as she held onto my shoulder. The Spanish are very affectionate. 

“I won’t get my hopes up— I do take that as a compliment though.” I said. 

“Good. We’ve been looking between you and Salma as the third forward in the finale. Since Frido and Caro will have the left and right wing.” Alexia spoke. I felt my stomach turn at her name. Aware that I will have to work harder in training to start in the final, I know Salma will do the same thing. 

A week later, my “animosity” towards Salma only intensified when I discovered that Salma will start in the final over me as a striker. Back at my apartment, I’ve cried myself to sleep. I’ve worked hard in training. My tears represented the fear that nobody is seeing the skills and potential I have. 

“Hey Y/n” As I walked out the locker room after training one morning, I turned around and saw Salma approaching me. My eyes widened and I turned to walk away in a hurry. 

“Hi.” I said quickly as Salma continued to walk beside me. What did she want? 

“We should go watch The Challengers movie with Esmee on our day off Sunday. I know you both used to play tennis and such, it looks like a great movie.” Salma hesitantly spoke. My eyebrows knitted together at what she said. I did play tennis for a few years in middle school back in America, but as a hobby not a sport. Esmee told me that she could’ve gone professional at tennis in the Netherlands but chose football instead. The Dutch girl is the only person that knew about my old tennis hobby, so she had to have told Salma about it. 

“Um–” I say as we both pushed the glass doors outside into the parking lot. As much as I wanted to say no, express to Salma how much I've resented her, and drive home.. I couldn’t. I felt my heart ache as I looked at the girl who had a shy smile. Wait– huh? Why am I doing that?

“I–I can go with you guys–Just have Esmee text me the details when you guys decide the time.” I said before walking away to my black SUV, my emotions not handling what Salma might’ve said or reacted to my acceptance. 

The last few days before Sunday came along. I’ve talked to my best friend, Isla, about everything. She doesn’t live in Spain, since she plays football for Gotham FC, but she had a clear understanding about the community.

After my rant which lasted an hour, Isla said something which made my heart stop for a quick second. 

“Are you sure that you hate Salma?” Isla asked over the facetime call. 

“Well-No! I don’t hate anybody, I just hate how big of an advantage she has over me.” 

“Oh– because it sounds like you’re in love with her–” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Well the way you’ve talked about Salma reminds me of how I started off with Esther here at Gotham. However it was the other way around. She was in love with me but refused to accept it– so she found reasons to try and hate me instead before she was forced to confront the truth.” 

That part of the conversation replayed in my mind for the last few days. Throughout training, throughout the game against Granada that won us the league, it replayed non-stop. It didn’t distract me but I couldn’t look at Salma without questioning if I am in love with her. A subtle shift began to take place within my heart, even if I didn’t want it to happen.

Salma started noticing the small things too. After the Granada game which granted us Liga F champions, she noticed when I wrapped my arm around her and Esmee as we jumped around in the red-colored locker rooms. I’ve noticed that as I started to slowly accept my possible feelings for her, my “resentment” faded away with it. 

“Good game, Sal.” I whispered in her ear as everyone posed for a group picture in our “Liga F Champions” shirts. She looked at me with widened eyes before smiling softly.

I found herself drawn to the challenge Salma posed as the Champions League final was coming up. Salma always craved the intensity of their encounters, the adrenaline rush of chasing victory side by side with her rival, just like I did.

By Sunday, the day where Salma Esmee and I will go to the movie theaters, I've accepted it—I finally realized the truth that had been staring me in the face all along. Due to past heartbreak, I didn’t want to fall in love again but here I am in Spain. As I stood in the mirror, looking at the nice casual outfit I've put on (imagine what outfit you want, reader <3) I knew with absolute certainty that what I’ve felt went beyond rivalry with Salma, beyond competition.

It was love.

In that moment of clarity, my resentment melted away. I knew that I couldn't keep denying her feelings any longer, but a fear started to grow inside of my heart. What if it's too late? 

Salma did notice my resentment towards her. There were times where I’ve blown her off because of that. I couldn’t blame her if she started to hate me for what I've done to her. 

Four hours later, The Challengers movie ended. I’ve sat in-between Esmee (on my left) and Salma (on my right) in the movie theater. The movie was good but I had the urge to look at Salma at times. Once, I looked down at her hand that wasn’t too far from mine. As much as I wanted to reach to hold her soft hands, I couldn’t do it. What if she pulled away? What if things would’ve been awkward between us? I didn’t risk it. 

When we hugged Esmee as she left the theater, it was Salma and I in the parking lot. I could’ve said bye and left too, but Salma wanted to say something to me. Esmee and her gave each other an unknowing glance, so I believe Esmee might know what Salma is feeling. 

“Y/n, Why do you hate me?” Salma frowned. My heart broke as I bit my lip in nervousness.

“I don’t.” I said I looked at her with a sad smile. 

“Yes you do. Every time I wanted to talk to you at practice, you always ran away to talk to someone else. I’ve noticed that you’re the only person that never congratulated me separately after a goal. I’ve seen the way you’ve brightened up people’s days with your compliments, love, and hugs. Why can I not have that Y/n? Did I do something to you for you to hate me? Just tell me because I don’t want to start off next season knowing that you might hate me for something I might’ve done.” Salma took my left hand and held it with both of her soft, moisturized hands as she looked me in the eyes.

A tear fell out of my left eye as I felt guilty. I’ve fucked up. I’ve hurt Salma and she doesn’t know why— I need to tell her how I feel. 

“Salma, I don’t hate you at all. I am so sorry for what I've done to you. All you did—really—was be great on the pitch. When I came to Spain, I noticed how loved you were by everyone. You had the minutes, skills, awards, and recognition that I could dream of having. However— I’ve admired you more than everyone else at the same time. I know that's hard to accept due to what I've done to you, but I felt like you were too good for me. I look at you more than everyone else. I wanted to hug you and congratulate your success with you but the vulnerability scared me. I’ve been hurt before so in order to protect my feelings, I’ve covered it up with resentment— Salma, I am in love with you.” By the time I told her that I love her, tears poured down my cheeks and Salma held me in a hug, tightly, as she cried too. 

“Y/n, I am in love with you too. That's why it hurt me when I believed that you might’ve hated me.” Salma said through her tears.

“I am so sorry–seriously. I don't hate you. I love you. I will never hurt you like that again, I swear.”  I said. 

After that night, we started over and became lovers. Our undeniable bond blossomed between us. The team adored our relationship and were happy for us. I did keep my promise, I never hurt her again. I’ve found love in giving my love to her without the fear of getting hurt. After the debut game in the 24/25 season, we walked off the pitch hand in hand, my heart fluttered as I know this is the beginning of our longtime relationship. 

<3

[bodydoublegame]

hello! it's amy! if you follow my personal account, you'd already know what this is. body double is a side project that i do for fun inbetween infamous, just for when i need to refresh my brain! i decided to make a blog for it so i don't flood my personal account with this game lol.

This game is a side project that I do when I need inspiration for Infamous. That means development on it will be sloooow. Infamous is my main priority right now!

Body Double is a an interactive story that takes place in a cyberpunk inspired world where top secret operatives of an elusive Cypress Industries have the unique ability to jump bodies.

Agent Sawyer is the best Agent in the business, tasked with protecting Cypress Industries and all of its assets.

Until three weeks ago.

Framed for the president's murder and in a last-ditch effort to save their ass, they switch bodies with our regular, ordinary IT-tech MC...who is now walking in the body of a suspect the entire city is looking for. Stuck in a citywide manhunt, MC is now on the run with a pesky Agent who refuses to tell them where their body is. To make matters worse, Agent Sawyer's subconcious is stuck in their head, speaking to them like a pest MC can't shake off.

Wonderful.

With a help of a host of characters from Sawyer's past and MC's present, MC will have to throw themself in a conspiracy to clear Sawyer's name and get back to normal. Relatively. No pressure.

The usual IF stuff: customize your mc from personality to appearance. Unsurprisingly from me, BODY DOUBLE is a character driven story with a focus on relationship dynamics, angst and drama...but this time with action.

Mold Sawyer in the prologue and be stuck with them in your head for the rest of the story. Are they humorous? Stoic? Vulgar? Emotional? Arrogant? You decide.

Romance characters like Sawyer's ex (messy) or the human-mech hybrid trying to kill you (messy) or your measly IT tech friend who has no idea what the hell is going on but they're a trooper. Or an AI. Your call.

Try to uncover a conspiracy and solve a murder in a cyberpunk setting.

Don't die?

SAWYER [RO][customizable]: the agent accused of murder. The wires get crossed when they switch bodies with you, and somehow you have their subconcious in your head. They refuse to switch back until you help clear their name even though you're in their body, which means people are after you now. Asshole move, really.

ROACH: Sawyer's twin brother and perpetual hermit. As a hacker, he has eyes all over the city. He also misses his sibling, so he's determined to see it through.

AGENT BECK [f or m] [RO]: A cool and intimidating fellow Agent of Cypress Industries...and Sawyer's ex partner. Sawyer dumped them, broke their heart, and since then, ghosted them (as one does.) With that said, Beck is determined to help you. And them. Just make sure to try to ignore the longing looks they send your way. It's not towards you, of course.

CAI [RO] [f, m or nb models] : Cypress AI or CAI is Sawyer's former field partner. Honest, cold and emotionless, you can't believe CAI is actually helping you. It must be going against their every makeup to go against Cypress, but having someone like them on your side is beneficial, at least.

HAWKE [m][RO]: the mech-human hybrid tasked with hunting you down. Well, hunting Sawyer down. Their one mission is to see you (Sawyer) dead, which poses a problem so as long as you're in this body. So there's that.

SOLANA [f][RO]: the elusive club owner...and the last person to see the president alive. You can't tell if Solana is an ally or an enemy, but you do know the one thing that drives her is power. Good to keep an eye on her, anyway.

AXL [nb] [RO]: the wealthy child of the now dead president and new heir of Cypress Industries. They hate your (Sawyer's) guts. They have hired all the best operatives and assassins to take you (Sawyer) down, and will stop and nothing to get their justice. If only you could convince them otherwise...

MAV [f or m] [RO]: your best friend and fellow IT employee. A trooper, who decides to be your sidekick on this weird...journey. No biggie. Make sure they don't die.

As usual, BD is 18+ for adult themes, explicit language, suggestive situations, violence and more! <3

[pr0cyon-lotor]

I was turning my favorite jiuyuan trope (which is older SY with no system if you're curious) around in my head for my own enrichment, and I think I finally know why I like it so much.

(I ramble ↓)

Shen Jiu will never get out of the narrative unscathed. That's just not possible. He's too brash and sharp for the world that punishes that sort of behavior. The strong will suffer and will be forced to persevere. To become Shen Qingqiu, Shen Jiu will suffer no matter what. That's the rule of the world and PIDW.

So to have SY, who is an anomaly in the world and doesn't play according to PIWD's rules, come in as a player it means that the narrative doesn't touch him much. It can't since his mind hasn't been molded to fit PIWD's rules. He escapes wifeplots, dodges characters he recognizes, and avoids sects.

Be it that the system doesn't touch him or simply discarded him as soon as he came in, either way he'll not touch the narrative. So everything he does is because he wants to.

So SY being much older means he's aware of all the rules and can ultimately become a neutral party. Sects don't mean much to him. Rich nobles can't touch an man that lives under no laws. And laws are useless to someone who lives outside of their jurisdiction.

If he meets SJ, SY's habit of helping injured birds will come in. Especially if he doesn't realize SJ will be SQQ. The Qiu name means nothing to him. And Wu Yanzi is just a name to be forgotten about among the sea of names he had heard in his lifetime. Shen Yuan has no reason to judge Shen Jiu.

SY will try to help SJ to the best of his abilities, picking up any pieces SJ can't find and handing them to SJ. But he will not overstep. He lets SJ attempt to fix what is broken; he won't baby SJ. He treats SJ with respect and only helps when it's absolutely necessary.

SY helps SJ he does not try to fix SJ.

Shen Yuan knows Shen Jiu isn't a charity case and doesn't even entertain the idea of this brash and sharp kid being a helpless creature. He simply gives the injured bird a splint to fix its wing. He doesn't stop it from hunting or scavenging for food. He only helps when Shen Jiu asks for it.

Shen Yuan plans to leave the bird once it's healed (no need to overstay your welcome y'know?). At that point Shen Jiu refuses to leave. Adults and men alike have let SJ down, tried to baby him, or hurt him. So to have someone older than him not only be a man, respect him, care for him, and even aid him of course he'd become attached.

Shen Jiu is attached and proclaims that he will make Shen Yuan his. (Shen Yuan is shocked and confused, but when is he not?)

I just love prickly and sharp characters realizing that they can soften up towards one person because they won't be punished for it. Even more so if they become stupidly attracted to that person. ❤️

Also I love it when one person is somewhat put together so they can help someone else, who is doing much worse, put themselves back together. ❤️❤️

Also old man Shen Yuan is iconic. ❤️❤️❤️

[dyeher]

High Stakes| Ran H.

Includes| secret agent! Ran Haitani x secret agent! Reader

Warnings| fem! reader, violence, murder, mentioned gambling, implied harassment, guns, mirror sex, dry humping, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, choking, creampie, dirty talk, multiple orgasms.

Notes| mwah! another repost.

Ran is making plans to return to the Bloody Lotus when he’s not working. Bright eyes scan the clientele, and fingers drum the side of his glass, he decides he likes the energy. Rich people are always eager to spend their earnings, to show off their pregnant coin purses and boast about investments and returns and how they’ve recently deprived the world of another useless piece of art that costs more than it has any right to. Rich people paired with alcohol makes this place a breeding ground for ‘Too Much Information’. Ran affectionately calls it TMI, and it’s the reason he’s here tonight. To collect some of that.

When he returns though, when he’s off the clock, he’ll be here for the pretty call girls and the lacquered cards that are screaming his name. Absently he raises his glass to his lips. Tonight he is not Ran Haitani, Agent 001. Tonight he is simply Ran Haitani, one of Japan’s most eligible bachelors, and a potential investor in whatever business venture Izana Kurokawa has cooked up.

He glances around the lobby, careful not to make eye contact with you as the balding man’s hand snags on the exposed flesh of your upper thigh. Ran’s grip on his glass tightens reflexively. He reminds himself that if he kills Lorano now they’re fucked and you would’ve been groped for no reason. He remains quiet, pretending to take in the brightly lit room with its marbled floor and high ceiling.

To his left is the entrance to the VIP section where he’s currently perched at the bar. It’s a pair of glass doors flanked on either side by two large men dressed to the nines but sporting firearms. Through the glass, he can see regular patrons, the upper-middle-class dressed in their best and whispering to each other over glasses of overpriced champagne. Some are gambling their way down the social ladder without really paying any attention to it.

To his right is the entrance to Izana’s private quarters. Well, for the most part. To his right actually stands a set of hand-carved mahogany double doors. Those doors don’t lead anywhere. Behind them is an elevator leading to the rooftop of this fine establishment and the only true way to access Izana’s quarters is from the rooftop entrance. A little way off from those doors is a simple nondescript door that leads to the stairwell on the inside of the building. The stairwell gets as high as the private rooms of Izana’s friends. If all went well Ran would be on that floor within the hour.

He’s brought out of his reverie when you warble spilling a little of the drink in your tray onto Lorano. He’s impressed by your ability to mold into any character as he listens through the earpiece. You lay on a faux Italian accent, as you scramble to apologize that immediately has Lorano perking up, and Ran has to sip from his glass to cover his disgust when one of the buttons on the man’s shirt pops open at the movement.

Izana dresses his female employees in the most ridiculous things. Tonight’s number is a sheer black leotard, the front covered in some sort of stitched design that just barely covers your breasts, the back so low it dips beneath the band of the too-tight, too-short black skirt paired with it. The shoes are strappy and wound all the way up to above your knee. The heel and platform are so high that Ran winces internally as he watches the ease with which some of these girls can maneuver the tables and crowd in them.

He’s whispering to you in rapid-fire Italian, things Ran wishes he didn’t understand, promises to treat you right, questions about how long you’ll be working for. His grubby hands trail down to your thigh when you bend across him to replace his drink and even from this distance Ran can see the way your fingers on the tray flex.

An irrational amount of pride swells in his gut when your smile doesn’t even waiver, and for a second he’s so transfixed he almost doesn’t hear when one of Lorano’s lackeys bends into his other ear to let him know Izana was ready for him. Ran’s heart slows, his eyes locking with yours as he starts moving. Based on Wakasa’s intel Izana’s meetings are held on the roof, and there should be a viewing room on that floor. Only one elevator goes to that floor and it requires either Izana’s Identification card or the code, a code only he knows. Ran subtly adjusts the face of his watch, a beautiful Patek Phillipe piece he’d paid Inui out of pocket to have modified. He chuckles when he reaches the door of the stairwell and Wakasa’s voice filters through his ear.

“I think I threw up in my mouth a little when Lorano asked if she eats ass,” Ran can hear Wakasa’s shudder. He uses the knuckle on his index to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, activating the screen on the camera on the left screen. “Take a step back Ran, need to see the entire door.” Ran shuffles back feigning glancing at the floor in front of the door and then back up. “Thank you,” Wakasa says, and Ran fidgets as he begins to count down in his head. “You ready big guy? You have thirty seconds to climb three flights of stairs before the camera’s auto-reboot.”

Ran glances to his left and right quickly before nodding. “Go.”

He doesn’t even register the door slamming behind him as he flies up the stairs. He’s mastered the art of running in suits at this point. His chain lifts with his movements until finally, he catches the pendant between his teeth to stop it. He uses the rail to hoist himself up, taking the stairs four at a time until the leather sole of his shoe lands on the dark marble of the top floor. He skids a little, catching himself on the wall. “Twenty-six seconds,” Wakasa tells him. “Not bad.”

Ran chuckles. “You talk too much Wakasa. Anyone ever tell you that?”

“You,” Wakasa retorts. “Every time we work together.”

“Lorano’s on his way up,” your voice interrupts them both. “And I’m coming with him.”

Ran tenses. “That was not part of the fucking plan,” he says as he stalks the length of the hall. He passes his room, heading for the elevator. He watches as the numbers change.

“Yeah but it’s smarter than the original,” Wakasa admits. “If she gets up there Izana’ll send her back down because employees aren’t allowed on that floor. Which means she’ll control the elevator.”

Ran curses, because Wakasa’s right. “Fuck.” He watches as the elevator gets to the top floor and then ten minutes later he watches as it begins its descent. The impromptu change works and Ran finds himself face to face with you not thirty seconds later.

“Camera’s are down,” Wakasa announces. “Double-loop so it looks like she came off the elevator. Shouldn’t have any issues if no one is standing at the elevator doors.”

And no one is standing there. In fact, getting into the viewing area is too easy, not only that but they find that it’s not just a viewing area. Ran takes a good scan of the room following Wakasa’s instructions until they land on a row of computers and Wakasa almost moans in both your ears. It’s the central command.

“I despise Izana Kurokawa,” he hisses. “I hope he knows I’m praying for his downfall. Specifically, because this setup is so beautiful he doesn’t deserve it.”

Ran glances at you out of the corner of his eye and almost swallows his tongue when he finds you squatting at one of the outlets. Your ass stretches the material of the skirt and Ran has to force himself to look away as you get on your knees to press the switch. One of the older computers lights up next to Ran and Wakasa honest-to-gods giggles.

“Ran, plug the flash drive in there,” Wakasa instructs. “Turn it on and where is my beautiful little amateur hacker. Get your ass over here.”

Ran tunes in to the conversation between Izana and Lorano, looking out through the glass at them from his spot. Izana as always is dressed in some elaborate get up, his second in command stands to his left his arms folded and the disgust in his expression clear as he looks at Lorano.

“It’s quite simple,” Izana is saying. “You join me, I get control of your men, I pay you to speak when spoken to.”

Lorano looks torn. “It’s not that simple, my men will not respect me anymore,” he tries to explain.

“Lorano,” Izana coos. “Your men don’t pay you. Your men are ungrateful pigs. Your men are incompetent criminals. Your men are failures as men. Their respect for you isn’t worth hot shit even if it came from a god.” Izana’s men laugh and Ran winces at the shade of red Lorano turns. “Think about the respect you’ll earn from the rest of Japan when they find you’re associated with me.”

This seems to give Lorano pause and Ran scoffs. He wonders what Izana might have offered him if he planned to stick around long enough to hear.

“How much are you offering?” Lorano finally says.

“I’m offering you a salary,” Izana says slowly, in case Lorano misunderstood. “Not a percentage cut of the shit I make.”

Lorano swallows, and the microchip in the collar of his shirt picks up the sound extra loudly. Ran almost gags. “How much?”

“Five hundred thousand dollars a month,” Izana says and Ran is appalled at the way Lorano immediately agrees. He wonders if Lorano knows that he’s signing this document in his blood. And just as Ran expected when Izana verifies that Lorano has in fact signed over his properties and his men he opens his palm and Ran shifts when a gun is placed in it. “It was great doing business with you,” Izana frowns and Lorano doesn’t have time to scream before the gun goes off and his pudgy body is falling face first into his dinner, blood mixing with the delicacies on the plate. Ran’s thoughts are interrupted by Wakasa’s curse.

“What?” he snaps turning back to where you’re tapping away at the computer screen.

“You’ve got company,” Wakasa says quickly. “Fuck. Two incoming looks like Izana’s personal guard and the Head of Security.”

Ran’s head snaps to the door when he hears the telltale sounds of footsteps coming down the corridor. “How much longer, angel?”

You tap away at the keyboard rapidly. “We’re at 87%,” you scramble to type faster but Ran’s already dragging you away from the desk. “What the fuck are you—”

“You can punch me in the face afterward,” he whispers quickly. And then he’s kissing you. Tentatively at first, just a soft brushing of his lips that immediately has you relaxing in his hold. One large hand cups your face to angle your head better and the other dips into the base of your spine, curling you closer to him. His fingertips are warm as they trail the length of your spine. Goosebumps erupt on your skin and you shudder, your nipples pebbling in the thin material at the contact. You’re frozen, struck dumb by the gentleness of his kiss, eyes wide open so you see the way long lashes brush the tops of his cheeks.

Ran pulls back just far enough to growl against your mouth. “Kiss me back, angel.” And then he’s running the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip and they’re parting to let him in. His tongue is eager and warm and so soft as it brushes confidently at yours that your toes curl.

Your body presses closer to his, your hands winding around his shoulders as you kiss him back. It’s the consent he needed. The kiss grows intense, Ran’s tongue dipping farther, his head slanting to deepen the kiss. You’re suddenly reminded of your lack of underwear when Ran’s hand comes up to grasp the back of your head, the one cupping your face drops to your thigh as he backs you into the desk. He hoists you onto the surface easily, your body displacing the keyboard, and stack of papers next to it. His grip on your thigh slips to the back of your knee and he hikes it up around his waist, to slot himself between your legs, bending you back a little so you’re propped against the monitor.

“Fuck,” he groans when your fingers tangle in his hair. You tug his head back harshly, desperation making your movements a little rough as you press sloppy, lipstick stain kisses along the side of his neck and the column of his throat. You wonder if he’s wanted to do this as bad as you have. If he’s ever lost sleep thinking about the contours of your body the way you have. Or imagined the softness of your lips, the taste of your mouth, the feel of your hands on him. Because you’ve spent countless nights with your fingers between the folds of your pussy, rubbing circles into your clit imagining they’re Ran Haitani’s fingers or his tongue. Many nights with your dildo pumping furiously into you imagining it’s Ran Haitani’s cock molding and shaping your insides for him.

The guards are forgotten as Ran presses the length of his body to yours. The hard outline of his cock rubs into the damp crotch of your leotard when you finally bring your lips back to his. Your kissing becomes frantic and sloppy. Ran devours your mouth, fucking it with his tongue in a way you know he’d easily replicate in your cunt. Your body bucks when his fingers climb your thigh, his knuckles rubbing the sensitive skin as it inches higher. You moan into his mouth and Ran’s responding chuckle sends chills down your spine.

“Bet you’ve soaked through this flimsy thing,” he mumbles, lips not pulling away far enough for you to focus on his features. His kisses move from your lips down to your neck and throat. “Probably got a messy little pussy.”

You whine, arching as though you can get any closer than you already are. Your fingers catch in his jacket as you try to push them off his shoulders. Ran eases back just enough to free his arms, dropping the jacket next to you as he resumes his previous position. You get a glimpse of how well he fills out the silk shirt beneath and realize this isn’t enough. You want to feel his skin, you want to rake your nails down his back and mark him with your teeth. Just as you think this Ran’s teeth latch onto the erogenous area where your neck and shoulders meet. Your moan is absolutely wanton. You feel him shudder in your arms as he reaches for the strap of the onesie and rips it down your arm freeing one of your breasts for his hungry mouth. It’s only as you toss your head back, lips parted on a sigh at the gentle sucking of Ran’s mouth on your nipple, to give him better access to your body, that you see the two men in the doorway.

Your squeak of surprise is genuine as your hand scrambles to clutch Ran’s shoulders. The sound seems to snap both men out of their stupor and you watch as they straighten to their full height. Your mind clears quickly, embarrassment sinking like lead in the pit of your stomach at your actions. Ran’s grin is lazy, almost natural as he glances over his shoulder, you’re grateful for the width of him as he angles his body to block out whatever view they might’ve had of you. One of Ran’s hands still clutches your waist, his thumb rubbing soothing circles as though he knows you’re struggling to get it together.

“Gentlemen?” Ran’s smile falters perfectly, even the breathless hitch in his tone is staged. It feels like a bucket of ice water has been doused on you. Of course. Of course, none of this was real. He’d just saved both your asses. You wonder if he knows you weren’t acting. You tense in his arms and his grip on your waist tightens. “Can we help you?”

“You’re not supposed to be up here,” the shorter one says. Even from here, you can tell he’s the scarier and more than likely Izana’s head of security. Bleached buzzcut with parallel strips of his natural hair color running from the corners of his hairline back. You might’ve giggled at the fact that he resembled a tennis ball if he didn’t pull his gun. His eyes narrow when Ran frowns and glances at you.

“Sorry? Is this not the guest floor?” Ran’s confusion is so convincing you almost don’t feel when he slips the flash drive up your thighs. It takes all of your self-control not to react as his fingers dip into the sticky mess between your thighs and slide the flash drive flat across the crotch of the leotard. Your hand snaps out to clutch his arm and he chuckles. “She’s a needy thing,” he shrugs. “Couldn’t quite make it to my room.”

The taller one adjusts his glasses and steps into the room and Tennis ball follows him. “How’d you get up here, Mr. Haitani?”

Ran blinks at him like he’s stupid. “The elevator?” You squirm in his arms, playing your part as the brainless, shy employee, who’ll probably get in trouble for fraternizing with one of Izana’s VIP guests. Ran straightens to his full height, fixing the straps of your onesie and closing your legs as he turns to face both men. He stands a little shorter than the one with the glasses but he’s broader and you know that if this comes down to a fight you could take the taller one while Ran takes the other. “What’s really going on here? Have I done something wrong?” His tone is carefully accusing.

Glasses sighs through his nose. He knows there’s no way Ran should’ve gotten to this floor undetected but starting a fight with one of Izana’s friends is the last thing he needs to do right now. “This floor is off-limits to guests. They lead to Mr. Kurokawa’s private rooms.”

Ran’s expression morphs into a perfect mask of embarrassment and regret. You hope the horror in your expression as you clamber to your feet, swaying a little in your heels is convincing. “Ah, sorry,” he says, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “Got a little distracted,” he motions with his thumb to you over his shoulder and you look away. “We can move.”

He reaches for his jacket when Tennis ball chips in. “Wait a minute,” he says, slipping his gun back into the holster. “You’re not leaving until we search you.”

Ran bristles as they expect him to, head jerking back like he’s been slapped. His jaw clenches, fingers flexing. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said Mr. Haitani,” Tennis ball snatches Ran’s jacket and passes it to Glasses who begins to rummage through the pockets. “Spread your legs for me.” Ran tenses but does as he’s told.

The flash drive feels like it’s weighing you down as Ran gets the all-clear and Glasses starts toward you. “Seriously?” Ran scoffs. “She’s half-naked, where the fuck would she hide anything?”

That seems to give both men pause. You make sure to shudder for good measure as they step aside. Ran grabs your arm glaring at both men as he drapes his jacket over your shoulders and guides you out of the room. Glasses follows after you, making a quick call for someone to send the elevator down before taking you both down to the VIP floor. “This is you,” he says nodding at Ran as he leads you out of the elevator.

Ran takes you to his room and as soon as the doors are closed you shrug off his jacket. Your heart is pounding in your chest. That could’ve gone horribly. Your hands are trembling as you wobble over to the spacious bathroom.

“You still make the prettiest sounds,” Wakasa’s voice comes over the earpiece, and you yelp, stumbling back and almost falling onto your ass. In the midst of everything it seems you’d both forgotten about Wakasa. “Didn’t mean to startle you,” he says gently. “Just thought you should know. They’re the still prettiest I’ve ever heard.”

“Wakasa,” you hiss. “Can Ran-

“He can’t,” Wakasa reassures you. “I muted us. I’m gonna take these off until you’re out of this room. In case, you want to finish what you started.” You open your mouth to argue that you were just trying to save your asses when Wakasa continues. “And before you tell me you were just trying to stay alive try to remember how well I know you.”

There’s a distinct click and you know Wakasa can no longer hear you. A tentative knock sounds on the door and Ran’s voice carries through the wood. “You good in there?” He asks. “We got what we came for, we can leave.”

His comment reminds you of his earlier actions and you immediately reach between your thighs and pull the slippery flash drive free, yank open the door and slap it against his chest. “Yeah,” you say giddily. “I’m about ready to go.” And then you haul your fist back and slam it into his nose. “Do not ever do some shit like that again,” you snap. “Next time we fucking kill them.”

Ran’s eyes darken, as he clutches his nose. It’s not broken but it hurts like a motherfucker and he’s not at all surprised when he inhales and it burns. His eyes water as he glares at you incredulously. “You’re not serious.”

“Deathly,” you say, releasing the flash drive so he has to scramble to catch it. It’s soaked in your arousal, the scent heady as he clutches it. You poke him in the chest. “If you ever, ever touch me like that again I’ll fucking kill you.”

Silence envelopes you for a few seconds and then Ran chuckles. You’re about to snap at him again when his hand wraps around your throat. “You’re so transparent,” he smirks. “I bet you’re not even mad I touched you.” He squeezes your throat, backing you into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. “You’re probably mad because we were interrupted,” he drops the flash drive on the counter. “Mad that you didn’t get to cum.” He’s slowly cutting off the blood flow to your head, his fingers pressing into the blood vessels on either side of your neck. “Wanted me to clean up the mess I made of your pussy?”

His free arm wraps around your waist and lifts you onto the counter, your hands immediately reach for the wrist of the hand around your throat, your nails dig into the soft flesh as he scoots back onto the counter and spreads your legs to make room for him. You’re dizzy by the time his grip loosens. “Answer me,” his voice softens to just above a whisper, his finger massaging your neck gently. “Do you want me to clean up the mess I made, angel? Is that what this is about?”

You almost shake your head but Ran gives you a look. Like he’ll know if you’re lying. Like you’d be an idiot to pass up this opportunity. So you nod, swallowing when he flashes you a beautiful smile. “Yeah? But I need to hear you say it,” he breathes. “Say ‘Please eat my pussy Ran’. Go on.”

His hand has reached your jaw and his thumb is rubbing distracting little circles into the side of your bottom lip as you repeat after him. A not of breathlessness in your voice. “Please- please eat my pussy Ran.”

His groan as he leans forward to kiss the spot he’d been rubbing has your heart rate increasing, the organ beating wildly at his words. “You don’t know how badly I need to taste you.” He drops to his knees, careful to work your feet out of your heels before he kisses the inside of one ankle and then your calf that he massages and then the inside of your knee and then the fat of your thighs until he’s propping that foot on the edge of the counter and then he does the same to the other. Showering them in kisses, massaging them until they’re jelly and then he’s easing your skirt over your thighs. Working it down to your ankles and discarding it next to him on the floor. He’s almost reverent. The way he treats your body, and it makes sense. Because it feels a lot like he’s worshipping you.

He takes a moment to take you in. The leotard is cut higher than he’d initially expected and he almost salivates as he watches you bring your legs back up to the counter, butterflying them open for him. An entire lip of your pussy has escaped the scrap of material that should be covering it. He can’t help himself when he leans forward to suck the poor flesh into his mouth. And the sound he makes when he finally gets your taste on his tongue makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. One hand wraps loosely around an ankle as he shuffles closer, his nose brushing into your cunt as he pulls back with a wet smack only to latch onto the ruined material between your thighs. His other hand rests in the juncture of your thigh, his thumb pulling apart your pussy. “Look how fucking pretty that is,” he whispers to himself, as strings of arousal stretch and snap each time he repeats the movement. “Fucking hell.”

You reach for his head, fingers sinking into his hair to tug him closer. “Fuck,” you whine. “Ran!” Your body bows when he pushes the material to the side and properly buries his tongue into your cunt. He fucks you with it like you imagine he’d fuck you with his cock. His head bobbing, nose bumping into your clit. He groans again at the rush of liquid that floods his mouth as you squirm.

Ran’s hands press your legs a little wider when he pulls back to spit on your cunt. He watches, eyes wide, lips parted and glistening with your arousal as the spit drips down to your entrance. He drops his head between your legs again just give your clit a soft kiss. He chuckles when you whine his name, your hold on him slackening when he dips the index of one finger into your cunt. Your body swallows him eagerly, your walls squeezing around the digit. He removes it to add another two to it, his brows furrowing as he watches the way your cunt struggles to take those three fingers. “Shit and you’re so fucking tight,” he groans.

You squeal when he stands, fingers still buried in your pussy, to kiss you. He swallows every little noise you make, every whine and gasp as he works your cunt open diligently. Maybe if you weren’t so distracted you might’ve questioned why he’d need to stretch you out this well. But you’re cumming with a soft keen of his name, shuddering in his arms as he fucks you through it. The sound your pussy makes when Ran finally pulls his fingers free makes you burn with embarrassment but the way he casually stuffs those fingers into his mouth, lids fluttering at your taste. He strips with one hand, dragging his silk shirt off and quickly undoing his belt buckle.

By the time his cock springs free you’ve wiggled your way out of the last piece of clothing and you’re dizzy with anticipation. Your first reaction is apprehension. Ran’s cock is thick and heavy, the weight enough to have it hanging between his thighs. He’s also a little longer than average with a fat mushroomed head. Your second reaction is desperation. Imagining the stretch of your pussy to accommodate his cock has you shuffling to the edge of the counter, eyes wide as you reach for his cock to rest it against your cunt.

“Shit,” Ran hisses when his cock makes contact with the slick lips of your pussy. He’s bucking his hips almost instinctively, one hand pressing his cock in place as he fucks your pussy lips steadily. And the picture Ran Haitani makes drunk on you before he’s even slid his cock inside you is enough to have your eyes watering. He’s beautiful. His hair in disarray, sticking to his forehead and standing askew from your hands, his lips swollen from your kisses, his skin flushed from his cheeks to his chest, and his eyes. Hooded and bright with an emotion you cannot identify.

You’re so distracted by him that you don’t register he’s shifted his cock down to your entrance until the head of his cock squeeze into your hole and you choke on a gasp. Ran kisses you then, a slow, deep affair that wipes your mind of any coherent thought. Your stomach flip flops when he pulls you closer to him, wrapping your legs around his body as he wraps his arms around you. The position is so intimate something pangs inside you. Every lap of Ran’s tongue coincides with an inch he’s fucked into you. You’re shaking when you feel his hips bump into your thighs and he’s still not stopped kissing you.

He fucks you there, in short strokes that rubs the head of his cock into your g spot. Kissing you until you can’t breathe and then barely giving you time to catch your breath as he proceeds to tell you about how good you feel. ‘Never felt a pussy like yours angel’, ‘’m never leaving you alone’, ‘’s my pussy now, the best pussy’, ‘tell me it’s mine, tell me it’s my pussy, please’. They’re a mix between a whine and a growl as he begs and grunts and threatens your life and the life of every other man you’ve fucked. It’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever encountered and your body agrees. When your orgasm slams into you you have to drag your lips away from Ran to scream. A garbled mix of his name and thanks, as he fucks you through it, his pace faltering, his hips stuttering as he chases his own high.

You’re both weak in the knees by the time Ran pulls out of you. The silence isn’t awkward as you clean each other up. “So my pussy is your huh?” you say later as you’re waiting in the conference hall for Wakasa and the rest of the team.

“Yeah,” he answers without missing a beat, expression brightening when he catches your smile. “And I really will kill you if you try anything stupid.”

Your smile falls. “What?”

“A bullet right between your eyes,” he holds up finger guns aiming one between your brows. “Pop. Pop,” he chuckles. “I dare you to act dumb.”

You can only swallow around the mounting arousal in your gut because you think you’ve known him long enough to know when he’s bluffing. And based no the slightly crazed look in his eye as Wakasa enters the room you know this is not one of those times.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 17

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

Drew Tanaka's True Love Connections by @buoyantsaturn

Will smiled. "I have an appointment next door with the, uh… Matchmaker lady?” He winced at his own awkwardness, trying to bite back the embarrassment he felt. “Well, actually my friend set it up for me, but-- Sorry, do you know anything about her? The matchmaker lady, not my friend, I mean. I’m just not sure what to expect, you know? I’ve never, uh, done something like this before.” 

THIS WAS SO SICK I LOVED IT!!!!!! flowershop au with a twist oh yes ma’am. also im so pumped drew was in this every time i see her im like hello my love how are you

2. just desserts by @thegoldenappleofdiscord

It’s just a cupcake, Nico reminds himself. Surely that justifies breaking into the infirmary at the break of dawn. or: nico's love language is baking and will solace gets a lot of cake as a result.

end note hate me GIGGGGLIIING. also i am OBSESSED with this author but i haven’t read the solangelo book yet so i haven’t read a lot of her stuff and i’m DYING to. this was as sweet as nico's baking fr!! i'm writing less of a note on this fic (altho i love it) bc the WORDS i have to say about the next one,,,

3. caught in the river of tears that i cried by @thegoldenappleofdiscord*

In all honesty, it was really for the best that Will didn’t think about all the strange things that sometimes happened around him. After all, his mama had more than enough on her plate already. He was a good kid, and it was best everything stayed as it were. (Though admittedly, the flock of flesh-eating maniac pigeons, men with hooves, and the growing darkness in his veins might just make this a tiny bit more difficult than he anticipated) or: will can only push down a part of him for so long (will has plague powers, but he's known it from the very start.)

UPDATE WHEN UPDATE WHEN UPDATE WHEN REESE PLEASE 😭😭i am genuinely so obsessed with this fic and the WAY everything is woven together....like fear is a driving force!! you can feel it!! this is one of those starred fics fr bc it Changed the way i wrote and characterized will. he is fr a character who has been controlled by fear his Whole life actually. of the world and what it takes from him. of the Fates that do not care for your fragile love. of the things they are forced to do. of the precarity of life. and perhaps most intimately and ardently Himself, and the abilities he does not want to have, the life he does not want to live. the parts of himself that do not fit in the mold he has Built for himself and Forced himself into. and this fic shows that so so beautifully like this story is Woven.....i think about it literally all the time it's insane

4. a handful of almosts by @thegoldenappleofdiscord

He’d said it so easily: “Best friends don’t do that to each other, Will.” It had been a throwaway comment after Will decimated him in a card game, which was usually Nico’s forte. Following that had been a furious, “Besides, it’s war. Entirely luck-based. Winning this game doesn’t mean anything. Stop laughing – why the hell are you laughing?” He’d mostly been laughing because of Nico’s expression – eyebrows drawn tight, mouth twisted in an adorable scowl – but also because of the sudden elation pumped into him like helium. They were best friends – and maybe someone else would be hopeful for more, and maybe one day he'll pursue it (he did want it, had wanted it for a long time) but for now, he’s content where they are, sitting in Nico’s room and cursing at each other through a deck of cards. or: 5+1 of will solace being a pining loser

A HANDFUL OF ALMOSTS!!! WHAT!!! every once and a while u just hit a title that Hits u u know. like a handful of almosts. yeah. what a deeply poignant and tragic thing. how fitting for the pjoverse, a universe of people who are haunted by their almosts. god. and then to turn around and make this story FLUFFY?? MAKE IT THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD??? "will solace and his rose coloured glasses" REESE!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

5. Damage Control by @nikkira

“I couldn’t save Lee. I couldn’t save Michael. I couldn’t save Silena.” “You saved Annabeth when she was stabbed, right? And Annabeth was kind of imperative to the whole saving the world effort. The people you save go on to do things and help people and save people. When you lose someone, you lose them. But when you save someone, you save a dozen more people.”

"i dream of the people i could not save. they're mad at me." oh i am UNWELL. ill i tell you. i read this line and had to sit down for a little while like actually. one thing about will solace is that he never stops punishing himself and no one got that like this fic nine years ago

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[idyllcy]

for all time/lovebrush chronicles boys as kisses

word count: 481

summary: how the lovebrush boys kiss you

Ai Yin / Ayn

Ayn presses his lips to yours like he's waited for you his whole life, his lips are molded to yours as he practically tries to absorb you, his passion bleeding through his hands as he holds you to him desperately. He kisses you like he's lost you in a past life again and again, and he kisses you like he has nothing left but you in this world. He kisses you like he's going to lose you and he's terrified of what's to come when you have to inevitably pull away.

Lu Chen / Alkaid

Alkaid kisses you like a butterfly— his lips brush against yours only once before he pulls away, cheeks warm and neck red, and you have to pull him in again if you want a kiss again. His lips brush yours for a second as if you're something he's not allowed to have, and his lips feel like a heaven in a world far away from you. Alkaid kisses you like he's not allowed to, like the two of you are destined to break as soon as one of you step over the line.

Luo Xia / Lars

Lars kisses you with both hands on your cheek as he leans over you to the best of his ability, the love bleeding from his chest to yours as he presses it to yours, and he kisses you like he's going to spend tomorrow and forever with you. He kisses you like that moment in time is the only thing that matters, even if you're going to leave someday. Yet, he kisses you in the present, a sense of determination that he'll never lose you, and even when he presses his tongue into your mouth for more, he is there, and so are you.

Si Lan / Clarence

Clarence kisses you like he knows there are many more to come. His fingers wrap around your waist gently as he tilts his head to slot his lips against yours better. He kisses you like he knows that you are his destined one in this world, and the way he rests his hand on the back of your head to help you angle is a reminder of how far the two of you have come. He kisses you like he's sure you're the one destined for him, and that you have eternity ahead of the two of you, so there's no rush.

Ye Xuan / Cael

Cael kisses you awkwardly, his fingers curled next to him as he's scared to touch you, worried that if he does, he'd be committing some kind of sin, that he'd break you by kissing you back too hard. He kisses you like he's not supposed to, fingers delicate against your skin as his thumb brushes your cheek and he tucks your hair behind your ear, his eyes half-lidded as he takes in your expression, always worried that some higher deity outside of his control would steal you away at any moment.

[little-ideas]

Hate Us, Please

AU where you're in the JJK world. You have a heavenly restriction that makes it so you can't die, but otherwise you were a normal person with zero energy. Gojo and Geto feel guilty over bringing you into Jujutsu Society, but can no longer let you go.

2nd person. Star Vessel Arc

CW: Death, murder, slight ventures into yandere

When they had seen your ability, Gojo and Geto had thought you might be powerful enough to be on par with them. You were not. You were...normal.

"The strong exist to protect the weak," and you were unremarkably weak in every way. To your credit, you did try! You learned quickly and fought hard, but even Shoko was stronger than you a few months later, and you were still extremely clumsy. Without being able to see curses, they honestly wondered why you entered this world to begin with?

But Geto and Gojo knew the truth no matter how much you tried to claim otherwise -the higher ups wanted to train you into a weapon. You would be molded into their perfect soldier, unable to stay dead, unable to be traced, and you had no choice in the matter, forced to choose between entering Jujutsu Society or slowly going insane in isolation, removed from the world so you couldn't be a threat.

You would have lived a perfectly normal life if it wasn't for them, wasn't for the strength of curses shifting after they were born, wasn't for the attack on your school they'd gotten to a moment too late to save you, wasn't for them witnessing your body reforming and bringing you back with them. You would be blissfully unaware, and they hated that you didn't resent them for any of it.

Instead, you smiled at them everyday, covered in new bandages and bruises from their previous sparring sessions with you, scars from your previous deaths barely healed, exclaiming you'd, "Land a blow on them this time!" You gave them notes for the classes they missed, even covering for them when they skipped, though Yaga always found them out regardless. You welcomed them back after every mission, your laughter easing their stresses as they glamorized their latest hijinks just to see your grin. You could've had a normal life, but you were here with them, and they vowed to protect you every time you told them you wouldn't have it any other way. It was their fault you were here, so they could at least keep your life as normal as possible.

But then you'd died. Geto could still see the sword piercing your body when he closed his eyes; Gojo could still feel your hands shoving him away, taking a blow in his place. Toji Fushiguro, the only other man who'd taken your life -a man who wasn't them.

They'd failed you.

But still, you didn't blame them, holding them instead as they buried Riko, being cheerful for them even as your eyes were puffed from crying, soothing them when they awoke from nightmares.

You never blamed them when Haibara died, when the reality of the missions crashed down upon you, when you learned no amount of your blood could bring a life back and sobbed into the night at another friend gone. They wished you would hate them -they could see the pain in your eyes as your sunshine companion was gone, as you tried your best to stay grounded, as your resolve to get stronger only cemented, vowing you would take every death in their stead.

But they were glad you didn't hate them -you were their only tether to light, keeping them from destroying everything in this world- you were their only link to reason. So you'd forgive them, you'd have to, for taking on your missions, for insisting on being by your side in their every free moment, for interfering with your promotions. You would love them, just as you always had, not knowing they marked you with their curse energy to always know where you'd been, with plans soon to hide you away.

You didn't hate them even now, but it was ok with them if you did, as long as you never died on them again.

[randomfoggytiger]

"Probable Cause"

Fictober, Day 3

*-*-*-*-*

Taken from @cecilysass's prompt: As part of a case, one or both agents are “cursed” with losing the ability to speak (or whatever case-related reason you want to give it). They have to communicate / argue about causes anyway.

*-*-*-*-*

I’M NOT, Scully scribbled, CURSED.

Mulder stood at the other end of the morgue, drawn up to his full height in disapproval. His eyes never left her notepad, squinting as his pinched mouth and bric-a-brac nose twitched in defiance. “You don’t have strep, either.” 

The intern at her side coughed, uncomfortable; then fled with a hurried half-excuse, sneakers streaking across the floor in long squeaks and scuds. His “Oh, sorry-- they’re busy,” wafted in through the door before it clicked decisively shut. 

She stretched her neck sideways, scrunched her eyebrows, cleared her throat: swollen lymph nodes, throbbing headache, scratchy throat. Strep throat. 

“No fever,” her partner insisted, refusing to let this go. “All your symptoms match the victim's. And if we don’t figure out what is causing this, others... might die as well.” You might, she read in his wince. 

THERE ARE NO COMMUNICABLE CONCERNS IN OUR CONDITIONS.

“You both lost your voice after speaking with Magnus Brock. I’d say that’s pretty communicable.”

YOU CAN’T PROVE-- Scully stopped, head aching, hand cramping. Glancing at her partner, she watched Mulder yawn cavernously behind a willowy arm. Three days of worry and bad sleep seemed to crash down at once: although his second yawn was smaller, it was more exhausted, more defeated. 

Autopsy concluded with no leads left to chase, what was the harm in playing along? 

*-*-*-*-*

She was dozing against the passenger side window when Mulder's door popped open. They were still parked in front of the hex shop, Scully blurrily concluded, so she couldn't have been waiting more than ten minutes. 

“Got you a little somethin’ somethin.” He handed over a paper bag, trying to speak above its unconscionably loud ruckus. “'Cure-all for hexes, curses, and speech impediments.' The woman behind the desk said to take it before bed on an empty stomach; and to make sure there are no witnesses around 'to divert the will of good' while you chant the disenchantment spell.”  Mulder ignored her incredulous What?, rifling around and drawing out two glass jars and a small, badly sewn pouch. It scratched when he pressed it into her palm. “Hold this in your dominant hand-- used to be the left, but they’ve loosened the rules-- as you drink this elixir,” he continued, placing one of the jars in her other palm, “with a mixture of water. Doesn’t matter if it’s cold, warm, or boiled, so long as it hasn’t been blessed.” 

Mulder-- is what she would say, perhaps, if she could. Instead, she tilted the glass around, peered at the choked and strangled tea weeds inside, and weighed the pros and cons of not following through on her unspoken promise. 

“There’s an ingredient card in the bag,” he added, tilting sideways to secure his seat belt. 

Scully lowered her brew next to its twin, tapped both lids methodically with the tip of her index finger. Two jars.

“Mine’s preventative,” he answered around a yawn-- Mulder’s way of promising, Partners, in all things. 

*-*-*-*-*

She wasn’t sure what she expected to happen. Best case scenario, they wouldn’t end up in the hospital with food poisoning caused by some mold or foreign bacteria.

Scully hadn’t expected immediate, agonizing torture. 

She dropped to the bathroom floor, twisting and flailing in her sweat, kicking ineffectually at the door to get Mulder’s attention. It was half a lifetime later before he appeared, grunting and straining as he tried to lift her up and haul her to the bed. Call an ambulance, she wanted to scream before realizing he’d fallen sideways, gasping in pain. His face was contorted and glistening. His focus and grip were slipping. 

“Mulder!” Scully yelled as he vanished from view and the world went black. 

*-*-*-*-*

She was pulled from sleep by the phone ringing.

Scully tried to jerk upright; but gave up, collapsing numbly where she'd dropped. Though her fingers wiggled on command, it took a second to register the tingling in her toes. Her lower torso and legs were tangled up in a sheet on the floor; and had lost circulation, crushed under Mulder's askew body. He must've fallen to his knees and crumpled sideways.

“M…Mulder.” 

He didn’t answer; and for one irrational second, she feared her partner had lost his voice, too. Then Mulder snored, low and long and pleasant. 

Finally, asleep. 

*-*-*-*-*

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy! 

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober24.

[greensaplinggrace]

🔥 Aleksander's mommy issues and if that plays a role in his relationships

I will say until I die that aleksander's relationships with others are defined by his relationship with immortality and thus with his mother - who not only taught him everything about it, but who has also been the only consistent presence in his life for over four hundred years. this is the woman that developed an emotionally codependent and incestuous relationship with him as well as groomed him into the type of man she would wish to have a partnership with, which further defines the ways he views himself, the world, other people, and his connections to them.

all of this correlates to his many relationships, but especially his romantic one with alina. he mirrors his traumas with his mother and therefore with eternity in his dynamic with her. he is simultaneously the perpetrator and the victim. where he spent hundreds of years forgiving his mother for her abuse of him because the alternative is eternal loneliness, he expects of alina the same level of forgiveness for his actions based on that same latent despair - because he was taught at a fundamental age that a dichotomy exists in the universe, and the only way to find anything good at all - safety or happiness or connection - is to center all needs around the threat of inevitable punishment. not punishment in any physical sense, but punishment at a transcendental level.

the reason baghra did this was to groom him. the reason any parent does this (and it is especially prevalent with religion and cults) is to control their children and guide them toward the ideal path (which is always the path they themselves are on).

like most abusive relationships, baghra relies on cult tactics to develop a dynamic with her son that erodes all boundaries and erases any attempt at creating them further down the line - effectively taking ownership of his personhood and growth. she redefines his emotional associations to link them all to herself, and she even takes possession of his body in a variety of ways, until she has molded the perfect partner. one who shares all of her values and so will never leave her side - and who is entirely and completely isolated through both a lack of consistently stable connections and the lack of ability to create them.

baghra has always, after all, had her control threatened most by two things when it comes to her son: his idealism - which drives his moral compass away from her - and his desire for other connections. which means that to truly have him as a partner, she must take control of these narratives herself. so, she must destroy his ability to connect, and she must mold his morals to fit alongside her own. meaning constant and consistent contact with him and every part of his life.

similarly, we see even this reflected in aleksander's dynamic with alina. aleksander attempts to relate to her in the only way he knows how: by exerting control and by guiding her down the path he is on - by claiming to know what is best for her. in the exact same way baghra has continually tried to repossess him throughout the years by leading him down the 'best path for him' - one that she defines as redemption through inaction. one that she knows could allow her to control him again through reestablishing his existential relationship with punishment, loss, loneliness, and fear.

she seeks to do this because she needs him walking beside her again, easily pliable. because while time has furthered him from her, she is at least still in his life holding some of the reins, but nothing has threatened her grasp on her son as much as another prospective partner. one that won't harm him the way she has and one that could easily reveal exactly how much of himself he has lost to his mother in her claims about living eternally. one that could prove to be a real, stable relationship for him - unraveling all of the threads she so carefully wound.

like baghra did with him, aleksander fosters a codependent relationship with alina, because he was taught that such a relationship is the only way to survive immortality (and that this is how relationships work at all). he desires alina to be his immortal companion, in the same way his mother desired him, because he longs - probably without realizing - for a relationship that is not defined by constant abuse. but he has none of the resources to break free of the cycle of abuse, because he cannot even conceptualize that the things baghra taught him are abusive.

everything baghra taught him, he repeats to alina. every lesson about immortality, he repeats to alina. the possessiveness which defines his relationship with his mother - the ways she controls his interactions with others and isolates him completely - this he mirrors also with alina. because the only framework he possesses for a long-lasting connection is his relationship with his mother, and he is so starved for real connection that he craves it.

he craves it because baghra made him crave it. because she starved him of affection and made him reliant upon her as his sole provider for it. then she destroyed any other source he might find. she did this because she wanted to ensure he would always come back to her and forgive her. additionally, they are in the position of being entirely unique, which only further provides another tool for abuse. it is so so easy to neatly isolate someone when they are already othered completely and have no reliable means of long-term connection but you. it is so so easy to starve someone and lead them to believe they are gorging themselves when there is no other source of sustenance.

but then comes alina. who is also immortal. and who is quite capable of not only walking down aleksander's path, but having aleksander walk down hers. and alina will give aleksander the sustenance he needs. alina will give a long-lasting relationship with real happiness and affection and touch and love. alina will make him realize that the ways he tries to fulfill his cravings - the ways baghra taught him - are wrong.

which brings the situation to the plot.

alina's moral conflict is falsely dichotomized into two things:

a) kill the 'monster' and believe the true social issues that caused it can be solved through inaction.

or b) give in to the latent 'evil' that comes with being grisha, reveling in power, greed, and selfishness.

baghra as the author's mouthpiece supports the former, which means alina's 'enlightenment' must eventually follow this path - for the true moral message to be conveyed. and this path leads her away from the darkling. thus, it is inevitable within such a narrative that she would have to do so.

however, contextually, baghra's actions when putting alina on this path are those of an abuser losing control of their victim. while she operates within a narrative role, she acts in a way that is easily identifiable. the very specific way in which baghra confronts aleksander's relationships with others in both the books and the show (especially his relationship with alina) is that of someone who wishes to remove outside influences from the perfectly tailored environment of their victim. if alina begins to trust aleksander and start a relationship with him, then this environment will be disrupted - possibly destroyed - and he will be removed from baghra's influence forever. baghra, as an eternally lonely person, cannot let this happen.

but she has a new way of living, now. one that her son rejects, because he is finally trying to become his own person and create his own path. so, she molds alina into exactly what she is and ties alina to her completely, effectively ruining her son's chances for any connection outside of her ever again. not only that, but she severs any future attempts at connection between them by taking control of the narrative about aleksander. meaning alina will defer to baghra about him, about morals, about what paths to walk and what actions to take. she will defer to her about anything that leads in aleksander's direction, because she must 1) do so for narrative purposes (and baghra is first and foremost the narrative compass) and 2) reject all associations with his character completely.

so aleksander is now trapped in an abusive cycle with both women, and the options are either alina, who is not only his abuser’s mouthpiece, but someone who has been cut off from any attempt at a connection with him completely. or his mother, who is in many ways relying on alina's treatment of him to drive him back into her arms.

aleksander, who cannot conceivably understand why he longs for another partner, must focus on alina. but as someone who was brutally stripped of any ability to connect healthily, he can only communicate with her one way - through possession, control, fear, and manipulation. and because she now erects the same barriers baghra does and walks the same path as her- well. the pattern of abuse continues.

so yeah. I think he mimics his relationship with baghra in his other relationships. he attempts to connect in the only ways he knows how, and when he tries to move outside of the box and connect in his own way, baghra intervenes. he is a centuries old abuse victim that will literally never gain the resources or outside connections required to develop healthy relationships. and sab is lauded as a narrative on the side of abuse survivors. lmfao.

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)