#so they can tell me 'babe youve not been well for 15 years' and i can go missy voice: oh thats right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saintmurd0ck · 2 years

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hey babe hope ur doing well. i've been scrolling through ur nyc posting and... ur making me miss nyc sm i'm actually tearing up. i love. that fuckin city so much idk how to describe it. i know it sounds so fckin stupid and cliche but legit since i was little i wanted to live there.

seeing it in shows and movies when i was little and becoming obsessed with various marvel characters who lived in different boroughs (my main one being matt ofc lol)

and then visiting for the first like a few years ago and staying in the city a long weekend and finding little local places to eat. getting into the residential areas and everything just feels so... right.

you can hear people moving down on the street, you can see the chrysler building from your window, you can hear the ambulances and the construction workers and the trash collectors, you can smell the food the neighbors are cooking when you step out in the tiniest hall and into the tiniest elevator

seeing people talking and yelling at each other from open windows cause these people have lived here years and sitting there eating the best damn food youve had in your life from a tiny hole in the wall place on the edge of china town.

going across the street and down steps into a second hand bookstore where the floorboards creak with EVERY step and the back is literally a shed shoved up to the door taking up most of an alleyway and you just feel so fucking at peace and alive because the city is alive and FUCK

the subway and the architecture and the PEOPLE

RHI the first time i ever visited i was doing all the dumb tourist things and was walking through hells kitchen (didn't even realize I was at the time) and some middle age guy stops me on the street

he has a thick ny accent and starts asking me about my day and if i'm a tourist and what attractions ive visited and hes cracking jokes and acting like he's known me for years and telling me about his wife and hows hes traveled the world and giving me tips on how to dodge random vendors

and he tells me he stopped me cause i reminded him of his kids and he says "oh, welcome to hell's kitchen by the way, best part of the whole city"

and i. i'm so fucking broke im so broke but i swear im going to live there i have to live there i have to

and i thought it would wear off, cause that's what everyone says. the more you visit the more trash you see and the more bad things you see. and you do. i saw more trash and rats and all of that but. it just made me fall in love with it more

everyone's just there, trying to survive and trying to live their lives and i love that. yeah it has it's problems but i don't care. every time i visit i see one bad thing and twenty good things, and twenty-one reasons to love that stupid city even more

anyways let me actually shut the fuck up, ily hun, hope your day continues to get better

i am absolutely over the fucking moon receiving this, ren. i hope you know how much it means to me that you took the time to write all of this out and share your thoughts with me. firstly let me say, i feel like new york city is kinda a city of clichés, but they're all true. it has this... magic to it, and it kinda sucks you in.

when you say everything feels right, i know exactly!!!! what you mean. here i was, in a country i'd never stepped foot in before, over 15 thousand km (9320 miles) away from familiarity, but yet i knew what i was doing. it felt like some kind of puzzle piece had just clicked into place, and it only took me 21 years to find out.

i feel that the thing with new york is, the residents all have the same thing to say. "oh yeah this city fucking sucks" or some sort of variation on the criticism. but at the end of the day -- at the end of the day, they step back and think, "oh yeah, i live here. in new york freakin city." and it's such a bonding thing.

i thought it would wear off too, and after a while you'd just get used to it and everything would be mundane, but it never felt like that. even being back home, back to reality, i'm pining for it. the thing i've stressed the most about going away is that it never was a holiday. it was never supposed to be that. it was actually the chance for me to go there and ask myself honestly: "can i actually live here? would i like it?" and i am so glad i proved myself right.

so yeah, let's get an apartment in hell's kitchen. let's wake up to the sound of traffic and sirens and someone yelling on the street below, then go for coffee where the baristas pretend to care about our coffee orders (until they do). everything's a subway ride away, one way or another. fuck it, let's go on the staten island ferry at three in the morning and laugh about all the people who've paid $200 to go see lady liberty (when they can be doing it for free).

the city is alive, and while it can take and take and take from you, it leaves a part of its magic in your soul. and you know what? i'm fine with it.

the city awaits with open arms...

and i can't wait to go back.

#saving this forever <3 #rhi's mutuals 💗#rhi responds 💌#rhi goes to nyc 🗽

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rewrentless · 6 years

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Taz Balance Quotes

I have no idea how long ive been working on this, between 2 and 7 months but finally ive made a list of memorable quotes /quotes that made me chuckle

-Any you driads down to clown

-That was my grandfathers haunch

-Everyone needs a barry bluejeans!

-You shouldnt had your dog jump up my ass! I dont think my dog could fit in an ass! You havent seen this ass

-Eat me barry

-If you were making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you dropped some jelly on the counter are you gonna take a knife and just start cutting at it you dumb son of a bitch??

-she thinks my tractors sexy and i think im no longer welcome here

-hello hello welcome to my caev

-abraca fuck you

-hey you calm the fuck down sir theres no yelling at fantasy Costco!

-its like a bag of holding but for ass

-merle i can see 3/4 to 4/5 of your entire butt

-the railsplitter passes through the tree like a baseball bat passing through a ghost

-youve solved my shrek puzzle

-a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word i have to attend to their every need and that word is my fucking name jenkins

-infinite bean!!!

-i got a murder wall in my brain!

-time-pon! The time travelling tampon!

-lord steven q fletcher esquire the goldfish the third

-'yeah he really beat me in a test of wits and wagers' and winks at taako over and over just winking

- hey baby i love your tendrils

-i got here a few minutes ago and i can not take my eyes off you i looked at you across the square 60 feet away and i said do not be chopping on this baby

-you and the box both drink poison and you survive but the box has died. With that the box pops open

-does everyone get that i have an elevator fetish at this point?

-griffen we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20!

-my names not jerry its ... jerrieeeeee

-but listen guys now i gotta take a poop, you know like a poop like a real emergent poop

-'your name ... of course ... is... taako. Sike thats just mine say my name!' i cast magic missile

-so youre sayin we eat him

-youre all beautiful butterflake snowflies

-im actually a mongoose meow

-and inside the envelopes there is 200 gold pieces ‘thanks for these shitty jangly envelopes’

-i hand her a coupon for one free backrub

-magnus this is the nightmare scenario

-hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie

-i made you guys chairs for your new digs and if you lift up the cushion it doubles as an indoor toilet

-davenport read the room!

-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm davenport

-i start to very subtly and very easily cry

-last time i was in an elevator vines tried to eat my dick

-the late merle highchurch rolled a 5

-’youre a god!’ I definately am

-youre not stupid youre beautiful

-its kinda ridiculous how many pies we got our toes in

-your mother would swaddle you young taako baby taako and just sing to you oh shit sweet flip oh dip sweet flip my little nugget

-god liiiieed to me

-magnus can kiss my kenny chesney tattoo

-you found her?!

-hey thug whats your name im about to tentacle your dick?

-if travis cant move his legs then i shall create his legs!

-im just an elevator climb on in ma belly!

-press ma buttons from inside a me

-if you wanted to lure me in there you shoulda stayed handsome ma fella

-'i tap it with the gluttons fork and i swallow it' 'what the f uck'

-ive got to switch between different accents to trick my prey

-when that day comes little man oh when that day comes i will summon whatever powers i still have at my disposal that you have not sipphoned away from me and i will take all of my canny and all of my cunning and all arcanas still within my reach and i will use it to strike you down little man

-dungeons and dragons and daddies

-fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts!

-i cast zone of truth!

-junebug

-this chair smells like grandmas

-this scene is memorable to you now but in the moment you werent thinking im going to remember everything about this moment

-inifate bag of boys

-if it had flesh then it would be a bag of skin full of fucking goo

-"how do you not have a six it comes with every board game?" "My daughter..." "eats them for power??"

-because in wonderland... there is no healing (shit eating grin)

-liches get stitches

-son of a lich

-you built the fucking door out of wood shit wood

-bad luck

-ill be having my body back you undead fuck

-sturdy. denim. and blue

-i have updated my list of people i trust and things i believe to no one and nothing

-those are the arms that have held my wife

-i cant fight i cant protect i cant do anything in this body

- i saw seven birds

-the twins, the lover, the protecter, the lonely journal keeper, the peacemaker and the wordless one

-i dont know but i feel like i trust you

-dont let them erase me magnus

-how could you forget lup

-nerd alert!

-greg grimaldis you owe me $15 and i aim to collect

-i have to believe that im gonna get those $15 back from greg fucking grimaldis

-the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of and its time

-I dont know about in love its only been... 21 years

-are you my friend?

-what brings me joy is... life. I think you can find joy anywhere in life i thibk its a concious choice i think you choose joy in life and no matter how bad things are no matter how crummy no matter how dark no matter how many times some guy named john kills your ass you find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, getting to know you. I’ve found joy playing chess with you. I have enjoyed - i haven’ t enjoyed you know, getting my ass killed, but i find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart, and I don’t always do a character voice, but whatever i do, i find joy in it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you got. It’s looking back on the joy you had, and the joy you found, and the joy you gave other people

-soon you will call us ascendent

-kiss my ass you sanctimonious bastard

-huh. I feel sad

-its not perfect but its the best i can do

-our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people but too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favour of others and by the time we realize just how importnat it is we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with but the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had time all the time in the world time enough to grow indescribely close time enough to learn how to care for each other how to allow yourselves to be caref for and in the case of barry and lup time enough to fall deeply and truely in love

-there was romance in every measure and longing in every note

-have we not earned a little wrath?

-i made it

-you are my heart you know that right?

-sometimes there arent right decisions sometimes theres just decisions

-when someone leaves your life those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying others are abrupt and unfair but most are just unremarkable, unintentional clumsy

-back soon

-who?

-taako kill me

-you fucking took everything from me

-understand this, i have nothing and i don’t give a shit. The world is ending and i don’t care

-phantasmal and resplendent

-youre dating the grim reaper?!

-ill take one taco with extra destiny

-i tell the trees when to shed their leaves and i make every piece of fruit taste the way that it tastes and i taught every blade of grass in the ground where to grow did you really think i had forgotten about you?

-im not your pan but you will always be my merle

-i run over and im already kissing him this is ridiculous

-I want to warm up my face i dont want it to be cold and weird

-whats up ghostrider

-i met god no big deal

-lets save the world and 420 blaze it

-hear that babe? We’re legends

-youre going to have to fight and… youre gonna win!

-you hear it now too dont you? The song is now yours, just as the story has always been yours and with this final piece your understanding of these impossible events is complete. Like i said before, youre ready now, darkness surrounds you but be not afraid, after all youre going to win, we know that much but that is the limit of my knowledge. Youre all caught up now, whatever happens next, well, we’ll just have to find out together

-you boys know the best of the fantasy costo? Free samples

-we won

-youre going to be amazing

-it takes time as all difficult and important things do, for the world to recover from what was done to it that day. But it does recover, and not just that, it thrives.

-im about to smooch your fucking brains out babe

-one small criticism, i think you may have forgotten to make it taste good

-‘youre kinda full of dog shit sometimes’ thats what it was i forgot i did include dog shit

-i should mention my boyfriend is death

-if you will all excuse me i have… to shit

-i tried to make you proud

-we see you one last time as magnus rushes in

-even happier days were to come, because that was the world that you made, that was the ending you earned

#taz #taz balance #taz quotes #taako taaco #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #lup taaco #barry bluejeans #lucretia #davenport

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theaterboyinwonderland · 6 years

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U make me answer 25 q I make u answer 1-50 :^)

Hey! Fuck you you hoe :D Tumblr mobile wouldnt let me.copy paste so i wrote this shit in a google doc admire how.much energy i put into this. You fuck 1) counter couch or top of the dryer? Easy couch its comfy and easy to sit on. Plus diff postions are easier2) Your last sexual encounter? Good or bad and why? Depends, do u count phone sex? If so ugh…? A week ago? irl probs like...4 or 5 months ago. For real sex like 2 or 3 years. Phone sex was good! My mans hot. Irl dude was also goo! Hes a pretty close friend ive hooked up with b4 and probs will later but eh. And for real sex god he sucked. Last longer bro3)Fictional person you think would be good in bed? Lust from FMA.4)Something that never fails to make you horny? A guy biting my neck and saying “like that baby/love/ect” my neck is SUPER sensitive and a homie love a good pet name5)Where is one place youd never have sex? A hospice 6)The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when? I was with the dude from 2 and we were both WASTED. He like wanted me.to blow him so naturally i did but he thrusted into me without telling me. Now heres the thing i got a gag reflex but i can control it kinda well. Drunk me however cant and if a long phallic thing goes down outta nowhere i also cant. Anyway so i puked on him. Needless to say we didnt finish that night. 7) Weirdest thing to ever turn you on? When i was a kid id get horny hearing the sex sounds from fable. Which after replaying them are SOOO bad8)What is the best way to sexually bind someone?Im a sub bottom dude dont fuvking ask me. Probs get them to love you?9)Fastest way to make you horny? Pin me to a bed force eye contact and then kiss/bite me neck/throat. Dirty talk also helps.10Top or bottom? Bottom 11)We were about to have sex but then…. I probs said im tired 12)Is one orgasm enough ? Are multiple necessary? SEE…depends..i fucking HATE over stim. I legit banned jd from doing it to me. THAT BEING SAID. If irs an ALL NIGHT thing and i only.cum.once (probs at the end edging fuck) im gonna be a mess. 13)Something you've hidden in your room that you dont want anyone to find? The body14)Weirdest nickname a SO has ever called you? Ugh...idk ive never gotten more than babe till i started dating jd and his are nice like baby/my prince/my everything. I use cringy ones like darling sweetie honey. Ughh t help one guy see if he liked she/her pronouns i called him princess. He later decided he like he/him so i just called him my prince15)Two things u like about oral? Taste, hearing a guy get more horny and start that low whimper/moan when they're close.16) weirdest sexual act someone has ever preformed or tried to perform on you? All of my so and shit are basic af. Bondage and a collar are the furthest anyone has asked me. Though a random asked if i was cool with water sports.17)Have u ever tasted yourself? Ive tasted my cum and it was….okay? Ive never sucked myself a bitcg aint flexable.18)Is it ever okay to not use a condom? Ive…never…..used….one...haha….19)Who was the sexiest teacher u ever had? I never had one but FUCK there one this one just outta college history teacher (who apt had a big dick) and like DAMN he was fine.20)A food you would like to use during a sexual experience? I dont really wanna do food stuff? Its to messy and like...a waste of food? 21)How big is to big? 10+22)One sexual thing you would never do? IF YOUR FEET EVEN COME CLOSE TO FUCKING TOUCHING ME.23)biggest turn on? Wasn't this a q already? On a guy in gen i love singers. Abs and blonde hair dont hurt. Also being taller than me.24)Three spots that drive u insane? Neck hips collar bone25)Worst possible time to get horny? At work sense i work with old people (hey cas coulda stopped here you furry pope fucker)26)Do u like it when yoursexual partner moans? HELL FUCKING YEAH I DO! Im super audio based and i lovethat. I also have a praise kink so like moans are basically praise27)Worst sexual idea you ever had? What if i was straight?28)How much fapping is to much fapping? Ugh...HMMM...if you do it more than 3 times EVERY day maybe stop 29)Best sexual compliment youve ever had? So at the party me and the friend were at there wa:. Him. My ex. And another fuck buddy of.mine. a q came up about who gives rhe best head and whos the best kisser AND ALL OF THEM SAID ME. I was like “i am a damn good kisser “ and my ex said “fuck ya he is”30)Bald, landing strip, jumanji? Do whatever idc. Hairs hair.31)Is it good sex if you dontnut? No. Im impatient and needy.32) If they *love me* we fucking33)Fav part of your body? My eyes! I think they're nice. Other than that i hate myself lmao34)Fav forplay activities. Idk never done much. Pinned make out sound like a blast with grinding35)Love or sex? Love. Id rather have someone who really cares about me over a good fuck.36)What do u wear to bed? Underwear. Im not a pj or commando kinda guy37)First time u masturbated? Ugh….i must been like 11? It was b4 like i ever knew what it was and b4 i could cum. 38)Do u have any nude/masturbating pics/ videos of yourself? My boyfriend lives in another country, what do u think?39)Have you ever/when was the last time u had sex outside. Ive never had SEX but ive blown a couple.dudes in either a park or a park bathroom. One time.in a casino parking lot40)Have/wouldu have sex in public. See 39? Full blown sex PROBS NAH but bjs probs 41)Have/would u have a 3some?Ive had one! The ex and the fuck buddy while me and the ex were together. We never fucked but we all blew each other. Slash im down for a polyam resltionship if my partner is so id always be down. Slash slash me and jd are horny as fuck and have talked about having threesomes b4 so ye42)What is 1 random object you've used to masturbate? Ugh…? I humped my bed b4? Idfk?43)Have/would u ever masturbate at work/school. Ive blown several guys at school. So yeah id jo there. Work ive debated but thats cause SOMEONE os a fucking tease. 44)Have/would u ever have sex on a plane. No45)What is one song youd like.to have sex to? Dead girl walking.46)What is something nonsexual that makes you horny ? Hey fuck u i said this one47)Most attractive celeb? Thomas sanders or tom holland. now THATD be a threesome. Please no one show thomas this.48)Do u watch gay/lesbian poor? Why/why not? HMM I FUCKING WONDER49) If a child was born on the occasion of the last time u had sex, how old would that child be? 2 or 3 years old. God i need to get fucked. Soon50)Has anyone ever posted nude pics of.you online? No and if they do I'll murder the prick.Thanks for the qs cas i stg the next time u post an over 50 ask im.making u do them all :’) love you bb 💛 that was more fun than i thought itd be

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doggonneit · 7 years

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The Last Red Scribble | Part 1/2

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing/Characters: Kuroo/Tsukishima

Rating: T for Teen

Warnings: Single Parent AU

A.N. This is a part of the KuroTsuki Gift Exchange 2017, written for @moonislander on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo.

[Read on AO3]

Monday PM

(2:33) I’m about to slam my head into the wall. (2:33) Tobio got into another fight. (2:34) He’s fucking five, how does he keep picking fights.

(2:35) what a champ

(2:35) What the fuck, Akiteru. (2:35) You’re not supposed to say that.

(2:36) wrong number bud but legit (2:36) tobios got a future in cage fighting (2:36) whos tobio

(2:38) Oh, sorry. Wrong number.

(2:40) well dont leave me hanging (2:40) i need to know who to put my money on in the future

(2:41) Don’t make this weirder than it already is.

(2:41) :)))))

(2:42) Tobio’s my son.

(2:43) are you an old man (2:43) is that why you started texting me (2:44) STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER

(2:45) What the fuck, no. (2:46) I messed up my brother’s new number. (2:46) Evidently.

(2:46) eviDENTly (2:47) arent you all smart and proper (2:47) thats how i like em

(2:49) Are you seriously flirting with me over text? (2:49) You don’t know stranger danger at all. (2:50) I don’t have time for this.

(2:53) :((((( (2:55) come back

(2:56) I have to deal with my son.

(2:56) what an adulty adult (2:57) tell tobio hes a fucken champ

Tuesday AM

(7:22) sooo (7:22) i know your brothers name and your sons name (7:22) but not your name

(7:25) …

(7:25) hint hint

(7:26) Have you seen the latest stranger danger campaign? (7:26) It’s got your face all over it.

(7:27) you think youre being funny but my mates crack jokes about my ugly mug making children cry (7:28) would tobio cry if he ever saw me

(7:30) He doesn’t even know what you look like.

(7:31) *image attached*

(7:34) I really don’t have time for this. I’m getting Tobio ready for school.

(7:35) if life were a party youd be the clown that sucks all the fun away (7:35) XP

(7:36) Why are you making that face?

(7:36) you hurt my feelings so im sticking my tongue out at you

(7:38) No-one uses that emoji for hurt feelings.

(7:39) i just did (7:39) XP (7:39) oh look i just did it again (7:39) XP (7:39) and again look at me go

(7:42) All right, all right, I’ll ask. (7:44) Tobio says you look like you killed a cat.

(7:44) how does someone even look like that (7:44) your son needs glasses (7:45) what do you think then (7:45) smouldering eyes wicked grin (7:45) admit it im pretty

(7:46) Yeah, pretty atrocious. (7:46) What’s with that hair?

(7:47) HI THIS IS KUROOS BEST FREIDN FOERVER BOKUTO PLS DONT METNION HIS BEHDEAD IT MAKES HM SELF CONSCOIUS

(7:47) Aww. Is Kuroo sulking now?

(7:47) sajfkdsjp (7:47) asdffhajlkkasdfghijkl

(7:48) I feel like I should be concerned. (7:50) I am actually concerned.

(7:51) how do i get rid of a body

(7:51) What.

(7:51) how do i (7:51) get rid of (7:51) a body

(7:51) Cook him and serve him to the police who knock on your door asking for his whereabouts.

(7:52) babe thats brilliant (7:52) youre a committed accomplice now

(7:52) On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hit on nameless and faceless strangers over the phone?

(7:52) 1 (7:53) its only ever been you (7:53) *heart emoji*

(7:53) I’m flattered.

(7:53) we have a dilemma (7:54) you know my name and my face (7:54) ive lost the advantage (7:54) who are you o mysterious phone man

(7:54) You really want to know?

(7:55) yes!!

(7:55) Well (7:55) My name is (7:55) *middle finger emoji*

(7:56) i am (7:56) fucking betrayed (7:56) my own accomplice

(7:57) :)))))

Wednesday PM

(4:17) *image attached* (4:17) fight gloves for tobio when he grows up lololol

(4:20) Don’t even joke about that.

(4:21) did he get into another fight (4:21) whatd he do steal another kids party pie

(4:22) He ruined someone’s sandcastle.

(4:22) that punk

(4:22) He also threw the bucket at their head and made them cry.

(4:23) holy shit (4:23) i know you cant see but im pissing myself laughing

(4:23) That’s the second time this month. (4:24) Is he going for a new record? How concerned should I be? (4:24) I should ask my brother for advice.

(4:24) okay but in all seriousness (4:25) dont kids usually act out because theyre upset about things

(4:26) Yep.

(4:26) you sound like you know whats going on

(4:27) Yep.

(4:27) is the thing not an easy fix

(4:28) Tobio can’t exactly move back into his old neighbourhood and old school.

(4:28) ohhh (4:28) i get that totally been there (4:29) though that happened to me in middle school so i handled it differently

(4:30) You mean you didn’t stomp on sandcastles and throw buckets at people’s heads? (4:30) Shocking.

(4:31) real mature of me ayy (4:31) but its chill tobio just needs time to adjust

(4:32) He’s been living with me for four months already.

(4:33) hes trying to survive a new environment (4:33) go easy on him

(4:35) All good and well until he accidentally kills one of his classmates.

(4:35) what could he possibly do (4:35) nah dont answer that

(4:36) You’re not inspiring much confidence right now.

(4:37) okay hows this (4:38) the most dangerous thing in a school is a pencil (4:38) if he stabs it through someones eye (4:38) what are the chances of a five year old having that good of an aim

(4:39) We could be surprised.

(4:40) lets give tobio the benefit of the doubt (4:40) have i brought your fears to rest or nah

(4:50) You’re interesting to talk to, I’ll give you that.

(4:50) is that why youve kept talking to me despite the anonymous and rather suspicious nature of our relationship

(4:50) Sure.

(4:51) *heart eyes emoji*

Thursday PM

(6:44) ive been thinking

(6:46) Make sure you give yourself a break every ten minutes. We wouldn’t want to strain your mental capabilities.

(6:47) hush child i got something to say (6:47) about tobio sort of

(6:48) I’m listening.

(6:49) so yesterdays conversation made me go all introspective (6:49) and if all tobios doing is throwing things (6:50) the lil guy will go far in life (6:50) i mean when i was five i was eating sand

(6:51) Congratulations, you just tripped over the lowest bar society set for its most basic standards.

(6:51) savage i love it (6:52) bokuto just called me a masochist (6:52) he doesnt even know what that means i bet he learned it from akaashi

(6:54) … (6:55) Who’s Akaashi?

(6:55) the most beautiful man to grace the earth and bokutos boyfriend (6:55) im not even kidding his face was sculpted by gods (6:56) *image attached*

(6:57) Wow.

(6:57) exactly (6:57) no one knows how bokuto snagged him (6:58) my moneys on witchcraft

(6:59) Have a little more faith in your Best Freidn Foerver.

(6:59) hes my best bro but he does NOT have that much game

(6:59) You misspelled Best Freidn Foerver.

(7:00) all right he types like an electrocuted toddler (7:00) hes there for me during the good bad and ugly (7:00) and i support him 100% (7:01) but theres no logical explanation for how he got akaashi

(7:01) Maybe he has charm.

(7:02) gasp (7:02) babe (7:02) did you just imply i dont have any charm

(7:03) I didn’t say anything of the sort but it’s an apt description.

(7:03) you really are a savage (7:04) totally my type just saying

(7:05) For all you know I’m a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly.

(7:05) im a personality kinda guy anyway (7:05) so what do you look like

(7:07) Shh.

(7:07) ?

(7:07) Can you hear that?

(7:07) ??

(7:08) Stranger danger.

(7:08) DUDE COME ON (7:08) or are you actually a sixty year old man with whiskers and a pot belly (7:08) because no judgement if you are

(7:10) *image attached*

(7:11) holy shit (7:11) HOLYS HIT (7:11) AJGSFAJKALHHJKKKLLLL

(7:13) Uh. (7:14) Hello? (7:15) Are you there? (7:18) I’m actually kind of worried now.

(7:20) Hi, this is Akaashi. Kuroo’s fine; he’s muttering to himself on the floor. (7:21) Something about being sculpted by gods and touched by angels?

(7:22) What the fuck.

(7:22) Nice selfie :)

Friday PM

(9:28) arms (9:28) abs (9:28) legs (9:28) sore

(9:31) Do I really want to know? (9:31) No, I don’t.

(9:32) :( (9:32) i experienced life death and hell all in the same day

(9:33) Now I can’t not know.

(9:33) i had vball training for a match next week and it was torture (9:33) and when we thought it was done no (9:34) we had practice matches with alumni and it was torture round two (9:34) then i had coaching which i usually love (9:34) but the kids kept spiking balls at me (9:35) 10 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS BODY 50 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS HEAD 100 POINTS IF YOU HIT HIS NOSE

(9:36) You play volleyball?

(9:37) thats all you took from that

(9:37) I used to play volleyball in high school.

(9:37) wait are you serious (9:37) what position??

(9:38) Middle blocker.

(9:38) me too!! (9:38) what are the chances of us both playing vball and being middle blockers (9:39) this is destiny i feel it

(9:40) That was another lifetime ago lol.

(9:40) once a vball player always a vball player (9:40) how tall are you

(9:41) 195cm, why?

(9:43) 195 and yOU DONT PLAY VBALL (9:43) this is a crime (9:44) tell me tobio plays vball

(9:45) I... don’t think he’s ever tried it?

(9:46) the outrage (9:46) how could you (9:47) i just felt my heart crack (9:47) oohhh the pain

(9:47) Poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?

(9:47) i (9:47) ijakl

(9:48) ?? (9:50) Did you disappear on me again. (9:50) This seems to be a growing trend.

(9:51) Hi, this is Akaashi again. Kuroo is currently incapacifjskkl (9:51) WAHT DID U DO TO MY BSET FREIND FOREBER WHYS HE ALL RED N CHOKN ON HIS WORSD

(9:52) Oh. (9:52) Scroll up.

(9:52) OHO (9:53) OHOHO

Saturday AM

(11:10) my mates wont stop laughing at me (11:10) i live in a house of dicks (11:11) cant even escape them theyre on my team (11:11) i blame you

(11:15) Sucks to be you lol.

(11:15) are you taking pleasure in my pain

(11:15) It sounds wrong when you put it that way.

(11:15) ;) (11:16) i’m still upset though (11:16) make me feel better?

(11:17) You seem to think I possess the ability to feel pity. (11:17) I don’t.

(11:18) you know what you do possess (11:18) the ability to feel annoyance (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) is it annoying yet (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) ! (11:18) !

(11:19) ALL RIGHT, STOP.

(11:19) victory

(11:20) What do you want.

(11:17) whats your name

(11:17) Are you serious.

(11:17) i wanna know

(11:18) You reek of desperation.

(11:18) not gonna change my mind

(11:19) …

(11:19) wanna do the whole !!! thing again

(11:21) Fine. (11:21) You’ll ask politely.

(11:21) dom huh (11:21) im into that (11:22) will you pretty please with a cherry on top tell me what your name is

(11:22) N (11:22) O (11:22) *heart emoji*

(11:24) i cant believe (11:24) how could you (11:24) youre so mean

(11:24) :)))))

(11:25) shouldve expected it (11:25) do you always play with peoples hearts like this

(11:25) I enjoy jerking you around. You make some pretty good entertainment.

(11:26) glad to be of service :’)

(11:26) I suppose I could throw you a bone.

(11:26) im not falling for it this time

(11:26) Tsukishima.

(11:27) …

(11:27) My name is Tsukishima.

(11:27) it is (11:27) up down left right with you

(11:27) Disappointed?

(11:28) NEVER WITH YOU (11:28) TSUKKIIII

(11:28) No. (11:28) Do not.

(11:28) i love your name its beautiful like you

(11:29) I revoke your right to say my name ever again.

(11:29) TSUKKIIII (11:29) *heart eyes emoji*

(11:32) I have never regretted anything more in my life.

Sunday PM

(3:24) You said you have a volleyball match next week, right?

(3:28) is this a dream (3:28) are you actually texting me first

(3:29) Miracles abound today.

(3:29) yeah i have a match next week why

(3:29) I mentioned it to Tobio and he got really excited. (3:30) He made me explain everything. I spent hours talking about rules and moves.

(3:30) i knew that kid had the vball genes in him

(3:30) I even dug up some old practice tapes from high school. (3:31) He’s obsessed with setting.

(3:31) hed get along with my setter (3:31) that arrogant ass (3:31) i love him though

(3:32) *image attached*

(3:33) what… is that

(3:33) Tobio’s lack of artistic talent.

(3:33) i hope you didnt tell him that

(3:34) He said it was you blocking and scoring the winning point.

(3:35) he drew a picture of me?

(3:35) He captured your likeness down to the last red scribble.

(3:35) omg… omg...

(3:37) It’s not that big of a deal.

(3:37) youre not ruining this for me (3:37) this is the best day of my life

(3:37) Remember when we talked about low standards?

(3:37) your son loves me

(3:38) He drew a picture of you.

(3:38) and how many other people has he drawn???

(3:38) …

(3:38) thought so (3:39) tell my biggest fan i said hello and thank you (3:39) its the prettiest picture ive ever gotten

(3:39) Don’t get nudes much, huh.

(3:40) wow (3:40) WOWW (3:40) that went beyond savage (3:40) that was straight up murder

(3:41) You like it.

(3:41) yeah im really wondering about that masochistic streak

(3:41) About that.

(3:42) ??

(3:42) I was thinking (3:42) If you were interested (3:42) I could help you explore that.

(3:44) i just dropped my fuckign phone (3:44) are you fucking with me right now

(3:45) Yes.

(3:46) i fucking hate you

(3:46) No, you don’t.

(3:46) no i don’t

(3:46) Why do you keep falling for these things.

(3:47) actually im falling for you

(3:47) Seriously.

(3:47) hope (3:47) its all i got buddy (3:49) is this going to be like last time when you said no but then changed your mind

(3:50) No.

(3:50) dammit

Monday PM

(7:18) happy one week anniversary babe (7:18) do i get a gift (7:18) eyebrow wiggle

(7:21) Did you just type -eyebrow wiggle- at me

(7:22) *video attached*

(7:23) I did not ask for a video of you wiggling your eyebrows.

(7:23) its my gift to you

(7:23) I’m so… grateful.

(7:24) cmon gift gift gift

(7:24) I don’t know, I don’t have anything. (7:24) Actually (7:25) *image attached*

(7:25) omg is that tobio (7:25) hes so fucken cute wtf (7:26) look at those hamster cheeks (7:26) whats he eating

(7:26) Blueberry cupcake. (7:26) It’s his reward for behaving in school.

(7:27) aww no fights today?

(7:28) His teacher said he engaged positively with other students. He was trying to play volleyball with them.

(7:28) omg thats adorable (7:28) i see where he gets it from (7:28) are you teaching him how to play

(7:30) I taught him how to receive but I’m rusty. (7:30) I should look into classes for him. (7:30) Do they even have classes for kids that young?

(7:31) the rec centre where i coach does (7:31) idk about other places though

(7:31) Whereabouts is your rec centre?

(7:32) shh

(7:32) You’re not doing the stranger danger thing on me.

(7:32) do you hear that

(7:32) Can you hear my sigh travelling across the wind.

(7:33) STRANGER DANGER

(7:33) Are you done.

(7:33) my centres in tokyo lol

(7:34) It wouldn’t happen to be the Tokyo Sports and Recreation Centre?

(7:34) how did you know that (7:34) oh my god this is real (7:34) STRANGER DANGER

(7:36) It’s a twenty minute walk from my place.

(7:36) i know i just joked about stranger danger but should you really be telling me that

(7:37) Take it as proof that I don’t think you’re a predatory serial killer.

(7:37) thats the nicest thing youve ever said to me (7:38) *heart emoji* (7:38) well if youre interested the kiddy classes are wed 5pm and sat 10am (7:38) you can go to one or both

(7:40) Hmm.

(7:40) times no good?

(7:42) My brother has Tobio on both those days. (7:42) I’ll have to talk to him about this.

(7:43) ahh dont wanna encroach on uncle nephew bonding time

(7:43) I don’t think Akiteru will mind-- he used to play volleyball too.

(7:43) how did you ever think tobio wouldnt be a vball player (7:44) its clearly in his genes

(7:44) Wishful thinking. I never really liked volleyball.

(7:45) what no (7:45) why

(7:46) It was just a school club. I only did it because it was something to do.

(7:47) you come into my house

(7:48) Lol.

(7:48) well hey its paying off now (7:48) i bet tobio looks at you like youre a god

(7:49) Yeah. (7:49) It’s the first time he’s really looked at me. (7:50) So thanks. (7:50) :)

#kurotsuki #kurotsukiexchange #Kuroo Tetsurou #tsukishima kei #haikyuu!!

51 notes · View notes

the-origin-story · 7 years

Conversation

Origin Story Text Posts and Onion Headlines Part 9

Kira: one of these days i'm going to roll my eyes too hard and i'm going to go blind, i just walked into this room at a party and someone yelled "dibs!", I'm sorry you must be at least a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory, I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting., how ones one turn their emotions off, idc (I do care), This Shit Again, i hope common sense is the next cool trend, no offense but i hate myself and i hope i die in my sleep, i need a tall boyfriend so he can get things for me off of tall places. i changed my mind boys are demons ill get a ladder, "your eyes hella red u been smokin??" no I been crying bitch leave me alone, why do ppl think its ok to waste my time, who let me adult I can't adult, japanese legend says that if you shut the fuck up you wouldn't be so annoying, "yall need to chill" says me, who isn't chill not even a little bit., here i am, cuter and more kissable than ever, and how many kisses am i receiving? zero, why doesn't anyone appreciate my sarcasm and bitterness as much as i do, what the hap is fuckening, current mood: angrily bisexual., buying clothes that aren't black is hard, are those feelings get them away from me, girlfriend: why don't you take off that battle armor and slip into something a bit more.....comfortable me: i am most comfortable when i am impervious to most forms of physical attack, "I need to you to totally straight with me-" *nervous bisexual laughter*, i can't stop laughing at the fact that i used to think that i was straight me a heterosexual, ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened, Youve heard of Best Buy, now get ready for... me (the best bi), ATTENTION! The rumors are true! i AM beautiful AND hilarious at the SAME TIME. yes it is a lot to take in take ur time my beauty is timeless, Fact: Bisexuals are open to everything. Coffee dates, crowded parties, underground robot fighting rings, secret witch covens. We're open minded., bi people are are wonderful and magical and their identity is so so valid pass it on, Your Safety Is Our Second Concern, anyway sorry I sound really gay and bitter, list of things i'm handling well currently 1., my life's resume: i tried, anyway *goes to push my glasses up my nose by the bridge and accidentally gets fingerprint on lens* fuck okay hold on, do you ever just look at someone and think "I'm glad your parents had sex", If I had a dollar every time someone called me ugly I'd have 0 dollars bitch you thought lmao, I may be short but you're still beneath me

Jean: me 300 times a day: im so done, that person you just called a nerd? they are a giant nerd. you made a good call on that one., "if u like someone just tell them!" yeah sure goodbye, why does life feel like i'm playing on expert difficulty, the robot apocalypse will be caused by people talking about the robot apocalypse so much that the robots will think that's what we want and they're just trying their best, i want to give him (Becket) things like blowjobs and self esteem, I am awake but at what price, me: *discussing w/ myself in my head* me: my thoughts exactly, I'm like four days past my bedtime, no offense but some of us *looks pointedly at self in mirror* need to fucking chill, reasons to date me: 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: please lol, "its dark im scared" don't worry bae i got this *stomps foot* *sketchers light up*, me: *talks for 30 minutes straight on a subject no one cares about just because i love sharing information*, me:*lies down* things:*continue to happen* me: lieS DOWN HARDER*, friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it's the stress, it's raining but it's not men so what's the point

Cypress: is it gay in here or is it just me?, im the seductive malicious forest spirit your parents warned you about, me: hangs out w/ little kids and tries to reach them self love and feminist ideas, I am a dream girl I already know, i'm a good person i don't deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual, *me flirting* hey wanna suffer together, "sit up straight" how dare you i'll sit as gay as i please, Area Women Not Listened To Again, "women are weaklings!" i'm strong enough to carry your corpse to the woods, I'm in love with this girl. She's gorgeous, smart, talented, funny as hell, and totally badass. That girl is me. boy: says something sexual or flirtatious me: right...anyway, "you can't wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!" the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won't quit??" honey that ain't wrong that's just a fact

Becket: am i a complex carbohydrate because i am slowly breaking down, I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on, no offense but what the fuck am I doing, eyebrow game strong?, more like eyeBAG game strong. i'm fucking exhausted. haha lol, au where i'm not crying, i expect the minimum and am still disappointed, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE who are simultaneously GIANT DORKS are my ULTIMATE WEAKNESS, me: knows exactly what i have to say me: stutters and fucks up a 5 word sentence, me, a sensitive and very emotional person who cries easily and can't take any criticism: i wanna fight someone

Liam: im fluent in talking shit, is it morally okay to pray that your crush's relationship doesn't work out, I walk this broken road on the boulevard of broken roads Don't know where it broke but it's only me and I broke the road, can you not date people that are not me? it's rude., i think i stole all of the wrong personality traits when when making my identity because no one fucking likes me??, hot people who know they're hot are the worst and can't be trusted, I thought you were in love? just with myself, *avoids even people i love w all heart*, I may look calm but in my head I've killed you three times, Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father's Murder, i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, i try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because i am an asshole, why are 15 year olds so angry

Bean: wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours, don't look at me i'll fall in love with u, Do you ever look at a person and get the urge to just drop everything and yell I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU, here's a little song i like to call "i cherish our friendship so i won't tell you i would totally have sex with you if you asked"

Cyra: IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD I'M GOING TO GRAB YOUR FACE AND kiss it because you're cute , do you ever just want to hold someone in your arms for about 37 years, QUICK. PUT YOUR LIPS ON MINE IT'S AN EMERGENCY, @god thanks for making girls so pretty, they're just really cute and in love, my kink is a happy n fulfilling relationship, my seduction style is is genuinely caring about your life & wanting you to improve & be happy, otp: smol and tol, you can't be hot and just expect me to act normal

Jean and Kira: I'm Always Open To Feedback I Can Get Defensive About And Ultimately Ignore

The Squad: Group Of Good-Looking People All Headed Toward Same Place

0 notes

vitalmindandbody · 7 years

Text

If not my surname or my husband’s, could we announce our child after a New Zealand volcano?

Franki Cookney and her husband didnt much like one another surnames, so now theyre having a baby theyve are determined to pick a new one

When my husband, Rob, and I married last year, the question of what to do about our surnames barely participated our debates. We are both scribes, so our figures are on every piece of work we do. That we would save our own seemed a passed. There was just one niggling disbelieve. What would happen if we had children?

I had always had considered that we would just fasten both our identifies on the birth certification, but I knew this didnt quite solve the problem. Whose figure would go first? And which appoint would end up being used?

We could use a double-barrel call, but didnt seem our surnames, Cookney and Davies, gave themselves to hyphenation. Whichever tell you choose, research results is clunky and we were reluctant to saddle a child with it.

We could have just opted whichever call clanged best with our newborn first name. But in that scenario, one parent discontinues up not sharing a surname with their child and neither of us craved that. Plus, Id heard too many tales of mothers being stopped at airfield insurance because the names on their passports didnt accord that of their children.

The conventional option of taking my husbands surname was never on the table. Quite apart from the feminist principle of not was intended to relinquish my identity for his, I wasnt keen on the reputation. Rob supported this and was by no means offended. The misfortune was, he wasnt a fan of my epithet either. Its just a little bit unwieldy, he said. Its almost Cockney but not quite. Youre constantly having to spell it out. We looked at our mothers maiden names and our grandparents names but ever aimed up back in the same situate, feeling that it wasnt equal, that picking one slope of their own families over another wasnt fair.

We hit on the idea of taking a new reputation about a year ago when before our marry we went to write our wills. As we chitchatted to one of the attorneys, it transpired that he and his wife had done precisely this. Theres a fair fragment of admin, but its good, it toils, he said , nodding decisively. Abruptly, it didnt seem so preposterous. This wasnt some foolish uprising or bohemian pretentiousness, this was something solicitors did!

We mooted it with friends, who were largely unfazed. What mention will you go for? was the thing they were most curious about. Good topic. Could we compound the letters of our mentions and make something new, we pondered. Listings were manufactured: Gouges, Cave, Devine, Kinsey, Dacovnicks Cookies? Nothing of them quite hit the mark.

As our bridal drew nearer, we employed the figure recreation on a back burner. But when I became pregnant 3 months later, we were forced to look at developments in the situation afresh and decided to change tacking. How about a lieu? I indicated. Somewhere weve inspected that we adored. A backpacking stint before we got married had left us with slew make their own choices but most sounded fairly bizarre when attached to got a couple of everyday Brits. Rob and Franki Tongariro owned any particular vigor, but identifying yourself after a New Zealand volcano would be ridiculous. And Zhangjiajie might create recollections of spectacular Chinese mountains, but imagine having to sorcery it every time you booked a fuzz appointment or called your internet provider. For a while Salento and Chaltn were on the register, after places available in Colombia and Argentina. But we werent convinced we could pull off the certainly Latino-sounding former and suspected the latter would lead to a lifetime of chastising people who pronounced it Charlton.

Then Rob said, What about Stone Town? The beautiful old-time township of Zanzibar City is where he had asked me to marry him. It instant appeared right. Stone was straightforward but important. It voiced good with both our first name and after a few weeks of trying it on with other calls would work well with almost anything we chose for our child. It was perfect: a solid call( with a potential for puns that was not failed on us) that felt like a constructive solution to our question. We would obstruct our original surnames for wield and accept this new family name for our personal lives.

By law, all you need to do to change your refer is, well, change it. Simply borrowing and using your brand-new reputation is enough. Revising your reports and records, nonetheless, requires a document of proof such as a wedding certificate or, in such cases, a deed canvas. “Were not receiving” official practice of acquiring a deed ballot. You can write one yourself exploiting free templates from the internet, but scarcity of lucidity about the relevant procedures answers in some institutions demanding an original certificate despite the fact that no such concept subsists. You can either fight it out or you can do which is something we did and offer 15 -2 0 for a company such as the Deed Poll Office to draw up the letter on your behalf and etch and stomp it on watermarked paper. Rendered the roster of bodies and organisations you have to notify and the potential polemics over what constitutes an original credential, this seemed a reasonable compromise.

Perhaps “its been” naive, but we didnt expect to meet with fight. Uncertainty, perhaps. Intrigue, for certain. When it is necessary to getting married, we had trenched virtually every habit exiting, forbidding the wedlock itself, and no one had questioned us. Surely this too would be seen as a modern update on an outdated custom-built. But when we announced our decision to our families, the reaction was mixed.

Franki and Rob. Picture: Christian Sinibaldi for the Guardian

While they understood our quandary, the common forbear was that the child would lose the connection to its family history. Try as I might, I cant understand this. To me, family history extends far deeper than ones call. Its in the way we live, our values, the gumption and shared experience passed down through generations. It is part of the storytelling our parents did and its in the floors we, very, “re going to tell” and the beliefs we will share.

Our springs are not in our identifies, they are in our centres. My grandmother, whose surname was Jones, is important to me not because of her identify but because of her enjoy. My great-grandmother, a midwife I never even fulfilled, let alone shared a appoint with, forms a part of my feel of identity. Why? Because of the room my loving mother talks about her, because of the pictures she has decorated in my head of that life, that household, that time.

Interestingly, the mention itself has also testified a sticking point, with a few people commenting that its tolerating. Youre doing this really unusual thing but youve picked a really ordinary epithet, said one colleague, as though by doing something different “weve been” obliged to go the whole hog and call ourselves Rob and Franki Thundercats.

In fact, the accessibility of the epithet was something we thought would help us sell the idea. It turns out “were in” naive there, more. My father, a former primary school teacher, insisted that someone called Stone would be tantalized. Another relative describing him as a dead weight of a name.

In my experience, teenagers will come up with names no matter what. I wasted much of my school years known as Franki Cookie while my given name was regularly elongated to Frankenstein, Frankincense or Frankfurter.

Never tell people your epithet picks in advance, admonished one acquaintance( too late ). Its as if telling parties in advance is inviting a exchange or consultation!

While my familys affections clearly matter to me, I believe she might be right. Eventually, this is our decision, based on our demands, and I hope they will come to see it as a practical and positive step , not an reckless one.

Its almost impossible to get everyone on board, attorney another friend, who changed her surname by deed ballot in 2004. The suggestion upset my grandma but my pa, her son, understood. When I marriage my husband, he took my name. Im still not sure his brother was 100% behind us, but when we had our first son, he was the first to be born into our empire. Im so excited that we are the first in our tree!

This is exactly how I appear. I adoration the idea that our babe will be born into this new, specially opted and carefully thought-out last name. And if one day he or she decides to change it either to something new or to one of our old family names we will fully support that.

Even when you change names, ancestry can still be traced and, if nothing else, I like to think we will be seemed back on as the ones who tried something new; who instead of establishing do with an disappointing place, supposed creatively about how to solve it. Thats their own families legacy Im glad with.