#so there is no way this is like. not riddled with lore errors but w/e

[lassieposting]

Anyway on the subject of the Ainur being Higher Forms Of Life, things I think would be hilarious: Morgoth/Sauron lowkey finding it difficult to tell the elves of the First Age apart.

Like. Human beings can tell lesser primates apart very easily...by species. Gorillas are massive. Orangutans are orange. Mandrills are brightly coloured, and tamarins are tiny and cute. But if you ask a human to tell apart the different individuals of a gorilla troupe - unless that human has spent a lot of time observing/interacting with/studying the gorillas - they're gonna struggle. Because to the average human, gorillas all look the same.

Perhaps that is also true of the Valar and the Maiar. Little babby Mairon knows the races of Arda as well as any of his kind: elves are tall and fair, dwarves are short and hairy, men are a scruffy bunch who multiply faster than rabbits, and ents are trees who talk. Easy-peasy.

But like. While the Ainur who live in Valinor shelter and protect - and therefore, spend a lot of time with - the first elves, and come to know how to tell them apart as their own kind do, Mairon spends that period of his life metaphorically sneaking off to smoke and set fire to things with Melkor, so he doesn't get that extended contact. Most of his interactions with the early elves take place either from a distance - as in, he's directing Morgoth's troops and keeping track of intelligence on the opposing army - or on the battlefield, where a) he's wearing a helmet and b) so, if they have any sense, is his enemy.

So like. He still thinks they all look alike. One tall, blond, fine-featured elf is much the same as another, honestly, and their fëar don't look that different to him either.

(If Galadriel were to show "Halbrand" a memory of her childhood, of herself with her three golden brothers, Sauron would not be able to immediately pick out which was Finrod, despite having come face to face with Finrod before. Nor, most likely, would he be able to tell Aegnor and Aegrond apart.

Galadriel herself, on the other hand, he'd be able to pick out instantly, even though elflings all look the same to him. Because he's spent long enough with her that he knows her mannerisms, obviously. It's got nothing to do with being able to identify her fëa among a crowd of other fëar. Sentimental? He's not being sentimental. You're sentimental. Shut up.)

Bonus thought: When it comes to men, though, the board probably flips. Men are not taken to Valinor when they awaken, they are not sheltered by the Valar, they do not go there after death. Sauron has had more close contact with men than any other Ainu save the Istari - he rules them, treats with them, leads them in battle, learns to whisper in the ears of their kings and play them like music. His human disguise is virtually faultless; he can feign humanity so convincingly that he doesn't trigger the uncanny valley effect at all until he knows he's been caught out, and we see him drop the act.

But most of his fellow Ainur have rarely (if ever) directly interacted with the race of men. So I think it would be deeply funny if, when Elrond and Galadriel show up to Valinor with two hobbits in tow, the Ainur react like...well, like that one tumblr post of well-meaning angels unintentionally getting Real Fucking Weird about trying to set the humans they appear to at ease. Or their idea of mannish customs has been influenced by the stories told by dead or returned elves who met a weird man once, and so they're expecting and trying to accommodate some really odd behaviour that has the Hobbits like, what? No? Why would we do that?