#so then i make myself do things and that doesn't help

[loudclan-clangen]

So, here is the pitch:

AU where Siltsplash finds out they are pregnant around the same moon that Eklutna gives birth to the boys. (Rather than an AU where Owl doesn’t cheat because then we wouldn’t have Song, Dance, or Dash and that won’t do)

It makes the betrayal even worse because it’s even more pointless since they were going to give Owl an heir.

Anyway, meet Spindlekit

She will eventually go blind I imagine, but if Owlstar suggest she retire she tells him that he should retire for being old lmao.

Warrior name is open to suggestion

I love her and I’m so mad that she doesn’t exist now.

The fact that Song doesn’t have a little sister is a CRIME. This is what he was born to do.

Not only am I okay with it, I would love to see it!

You are so right, here's a flashback that was cut for time from Moon 28:

Erminepaw has had a crush on Songpaw since they were in the nursery together, he just never called attention to it. He honestly probably doesn't even register that it is a crush, he's doing that thing that kids do where they're like this is my best friend, of course I want to marry him that's how everyone feels about their best friend. Nothing out of the ordinary here! Just my best friend that I must be holding hands with at all times for best friend reasons!

Yes! This is Fox----, he has been causing problems since the literal day he was born. You've met both of his parents, but I would be a little bit surprised if you guessed them correctly. Parental drama is kinda part of his whole deal. He's one of the first 3rd generation cats born in Loudclan.

I have SO much advice, about the images, the recommended size is 1280 x 1920 pixels, that's always a little too short for my panels, so I try to aim for 1280 x 2000 - 3000. It still deteriorates them a little bit, but people can always click on them for better quality. Bigger text and variation in values also help for readability regardless of size. (value meaning how light or dark a color is. if you want something to stand out it's more important to change the value than it is to change the hue generally speaking.) As for grabbing attention, I would recommend making sure that the image you're trying to show is visible above the cut off for longer posts, posts with only text visible are a lot less likely to get interaction. That being said, the most important thing for the longevity of your blog is making sure that it's something you are doing for yourself. There's nothing wrong with liking when your posts get attention, but it's not likely to happen for a long while (I think moon 5 was the first time I got double digit likes which was three months after I started.) I appreciate all of the love that Loudclan gets now, but if I had started with that as the goal I never would have been able to reach the point of it happening. (I actually started posting Loudclan with the intention of proving to myself once and for all that posting art was not a viable endeavor for me, so... I'll consider that a successful failure!)

You CANNOT DO THIS to me anon- "the canadian city"- YOU MEAN JUNEAU? YOU MEAN THE CAPITAL OF ALASKA JUNEAU?!?! JUNEAU?!?! CANADIAN?!?! When I catch you anon- anon when I catch you-

Come here, anon. I just want to talk. I just want to have a word with you.

[ariiadnes]

╭ ⿻ ･ TENDING TO THEIR INJURIES ( part ii. )

ଓ.° ・ ayato ･ kazuha ･ xiao. genshin impact. repost. ・ ・ ・ pt i.

❀ ﾟ. ༄ ayato

"my goodness," the head of the yashiro commission laughs, but you catch the way he winces, "how unbecoming of me."

"unbecoming indeed." you mutter, brows furrowed in absolute concentration as you rummage through the first aid supplies scattered before you.

"adding insult to injury, i see." ayato smiles wryly at you, indifferent. "well then, i leave myself in your hands."

"you should bring thoma back. i think he might be more helpful than me in this case." comes your murmur, a quiet apology leaving your lips as you press the washcloth against the wound on his temple. he sucks in a breath, lets out a deep exhale before he places his hand over yours.

"that won't be necessary. i would rather have no one else but you, love."

"stop flirting."

"i am your husband."

ayato considers teasing you once more, digging himself further into this rabbit hole he knows as amusement, but he feels your hand trembling under his. the smile wavers ever so slightly, turns into one of bittersweetness.

it is a difficult thing to remember, this reality that comes with the role as the head of the clan. you both knew what you were getting into, but when you are reminded of such burdens and possible consequences, it is hard to tell yourself that danger has always had a place in your life together.

"there is nothing to worry about." he tells you, and gently does he lace his fingers with yours, lowering your hands together until the bloodied washcloth hits the floor. "as long as you exist, i will not leave you. you have my word. i swore this to you, did i not?"

such pledges of adoration from him are nothing new to you, but the tears still come, anyway. you feel the heat in your cheeks surface when he presses a gentle kiss against your nose, and for the rest of the day, you do not let go of his hand.

❀ ﾟ. ༄ kazuha

the tides are not always kind ; kazuha knows this first and foremost, understands that nature is not one to be messed with. the storms are endless at sea, the lurching of the sails an indication of the danger ahead.

his head hurts, an endless ringing in his ears. he does not remember much of the struggle, only remnants of the chaos of the waves here and there. the bandages wrapped around his head are beginning to come undone, his restlessness slowly unraveling the fabric that fails to keep hold.

how long has he spent trying to redress this? he struggles, a long sigh released when it all falls into his lap for the fifth time. he glances in your direction, smiles brightly when you merely raise a brow at him.

"would you help me, please? this doesn't seem to want to cooperate."

you make your way over, sit on the floor in front of him. gingerly, you wrap the bandages around his head, careful to not pull on his hair. he remains silent, unable to focus on anything else but you.

"even vagabonds rest. you should take it easy, save the adventure for another time."

you secure the dressing, stern gaze abating as kazuha's laughter fills the room. your expression softens into something of ardor as your hands trail down his face, cup his cheeks. he looks at you, crimson eyes holding utmost warmth before another smile blossoms on his lips.

"who will keep this lonely wanderer company while he rests?" he hums, nonchalant, before the smile turns into a grin. "if adventure cannot occupy my time, then who will?"

you nearly roll your eyes, pinch his cheek.

"beidou."

you do not think you've ever seen his content expression falter so quickly.

"no, that's not who--"

"i know who you meant, my lovely crimson leaf." now you are the one who is smiling. you kiss his lips, gentle, and note the pink that blooms on his face. "i'll stay with you, kazuha."

❀ ﾟ. ༄ xiao

xiao knows pain like it is a longtime friend ; the past & present & future filled with such hindrances. this is nothing compared to what he has endured once before , karmic debt dwelling in the crevices of a corrupted soul that is undeserving of redemption renounced. an adeptus covered head to toe with wounds, sanguine clashing with porcelain skin.

it stings, all of it. leaves a searing sensation throughout his body, makes him almost see white. his jaw clenches, fists balled up. he knows this pains you too, so he thinks it's better that you don't see him in such a state. he'll push you away, just as he always does, because that is all he knows.

"leave me be." he tells you, his calm demeanor sharpened with jagged edges. "this is nothing to worry about."

your hands tremble, fumble with the bandages that nearly slip through your fingers. you swallow hard, misery in your eyes, and you almost feel stupid. because it is not your injury, but the hurt is yours to carry too, and you wish xiao would realize that.

he does not meet your gaze ; he doesn't allow himself to, because he has always succumbed to a moment of weakness and will not allow himself to fall any further. but there is something in the way you whisper his name, and there is something in the way your voice breaks that makes his heart shatter. your gazes lock, shock meeting sorrow, and how devastating it is to see the tears trail down your face and know that he is the cause of it all.

"xiao," his name falls off the tip of your tongue, pleading, "won't you let me help you?"

so he does. he does, silently, and when all is said and done, you are still crying.

"i'm sorry." xiao says, tenderness in the heart as he kisses your tears away. "please, don't waste your tears on me. i will be alright."

[teencopandthesourwolf]

read on ao3 HERE

.

“I'm good, Stiles.”

Stiles thinks about the times when, all too often, he himself says I'm good in that particular way, and thinks about how it actually means everything in his life is currently lighting up like a dropped match landing in a trail of gasoline.

In the space of a single heartbeat, he knows he would somehow harness the contents of an entire fucking lake to dampen down that metaphorical trail for Derek, murdering the thought of that lost little boy playing Hide-Go-Seek in Derek's pale eyes.

Only he isn't about to start talking about things being on fire. Not to Derek, not ever.

Instead he says, “I always had this rule, you know, where I’d flat out ignore a problem and wait for it to—and I used to swear to myself that this would actually happen—” His lips drag themselves up one side of his face as he sweeps an arm dramatically through the drizzling rain and the pressing twilight. “—just go away.”

He then allows his arm to fall unceremoniously to his side, and the sound of hand slapping khakis rings out through the sparse and quiet branches of the preserve's stripped bare trees.

“Okay.” Derek says the word with an infinitesimal shake of his head, looking as if he wants Stiles to stop talking.

Thing is, if Derek wanted Stiles to stop talking he would say Stiles, stop talking.

So, Stiles troops on.

“And it kind of worked, a little bit. For a little while, at least. ” He takes a hit of chilly November air. Releases it slowly, enjoying the crazy plume of breath-smoke it creates. “Until I met you,” he shrugs.

Derek blinks and it's a betrayal, giving away his hard-won secrets.

Stiles briefly wonders who else—who left in the world—would know this about the werewolf standing opposite of him. Stiles doesn't need to be a ʼwolf to know this stuff, not when it comes to Derek Hale.

He tries not to look at Derek's lips when Derek licks them before asking, “What are you talking about, Stiles?”

“Magick,” he answers, his feelings and other things shifting underneath the layers of his skin, crackling away like a hundred tiny Roman Candles traversing his bloodstream and manifesting as gooseflesh.

Rolling his hoodie sleeve, he lifts a cold hand between the two of them and allows a miniscule fraction of whatever beats like a heart at the earth's core to flow up through the ground and into his feet and up his legs and down an arm, warm and thrilling, to then spring free out of his right palm.

A small sphere of pure light around the size of a tennis ball now glows about an inch above his hand, kind of like an oversized firefly—and just as alive.

“Cool as fuck, huh?” Stiles mutters, basking in its incandescence, super-proud of himself. Then he gets to his point. “Deaton showed me how to harness my spark, yeah? But I would never have found it in the first place, if you hadn't followed Scott and I into the woods that day.”

Derek blinks again. His jaw ticks like a clock.

“Stiles, that's a little like saying one, two miss a few, ninety-nine, a hundred,” he deadpans, and Stiles can't help but bark out a laugh.

Then he steels himself for one anticipatory moment before daring himself to take a step closer to Derek.

Derek stays put.

“Doesn't make it any less true,” Stiles shrugs.

Derek just stares at him for a moment, before peering down properly at Stiles's little orb, for the first time since Stiles summoned it.

“You've been practising,” he says simply, his eyebrows doing their thing.

He's now staring at Stiles's effort as if he wants to sink his fangs into it, like you would a quarter to test if it's real.

“Is it freaking you out?” Stiles asks.

“No,” he answers flatly. “I think it's cool as fuck,” and he looks up at Stiles like he might want to keep looking.

Stiles wants him to never stop.

“Then here, you can have it,” he says.

He takes another step closer to Derek.

They are toe to toe, now, and still Derek doesn't bolt, nor pounce, nor warn Stiles off.

So, Stiles—really slowly—reaches for Derek's hand.

Derek lets him.

Stiles then transfers the light to Derek's palm, cupping his hand around Derek's to ensure it keeps hovering there. He directs their hands to Derek's chest, stopping right over his heart and flattening them both there, he and Derek watching as Stiles's spark dissipates into Derek's body, leaving behind a few wispy tendrils of light that Stiles guides back into himself with a couple of waves of his free hand.

“Now, whenever you're good, I can be right there being good with you, even if I'm not around,” Stiles says, and then he hopes and hopes when he asks, “Is that okay?”

Derek smiles, and it's the first truly happy-looking smile that Stiles has been privileged enough to witness blooming on that beautiful, beautiful face of his.

“It's better than okay, Stiles,” he says. “It's magick.”

.

unedited, soz! this is for @dontcallpanic (pip knows why) <3

.

...edited version now found HERE on ao3 :)

[weaselle]

Early human match ups with animals

Wolves: have a very similar social structure and lifestyle as early humans, benefit greatly from group dynamics -- teaming up with humans allows them greater access to food at less risk, safer sleeping, higher pup survival rate, better protection from the environment. One wolf eats about as much food as one person, so it's a normal member to add to the group in terms of resources.

Cats: have some amount of social overlap (cat sisters often help raise each other's kittens, and grouping approaches common in some cat species, notably in lions, but also for example in cheetahs, where brother cheetahs often stay together for life in groups of up to 4). Humans are HUGE prey attractors for them, drawing in rodents in large numbers - also meaning people don't have to give up their own food to feed them. Human housing is safer from the elements, keeps competitors and dangers like snakes and larger cat species away. Associating with humans gains special grooming and healing unavailable to wild species, such as draining and cleaning abscesses caused by infected bug bites or, very importantly, feeding and caring through a major illness or injury. A wild cat with a broken leg will often die, a human's cat with a broken leg will live to hunt again.

Goats (which we actually turned into Sheep): Herd structure similar enough to human social structure as to be compatible. Guaranteed food during winter and other times of scarcity -- and none of it is human food. Higher offspring survival rate, robust protection from predators and the elements. Horses : same. Cows: same. Deer/caribou: same but a little less so, actually surprisingly good at both fight and flight (cows, specialize in fight, horses specialize in flight) often travel more distance for resources so have better access during lean times; can match but less beneficial to the deer.

Other animals be like

Big cats like Tigers: Why the fuck are there so many of you in one place. This cold doesn't bother me at all because i'm so big my core stays warm. Just what do you think i need protection from? I'm super capable of feeding myself, and even if food is scarce? you have to sacrifice enough food to feed several people to keep me fed, which is a bummer for your group if food is scarce, and i cannot eat your stored food like dried fruits and grains. Your lifestyle is incompatible with mine, i hate everything about being forced to live with you and also it doesn't benefit me at all. Lions: yeah, plus I already have all the group dynamic benefits you could offer me, you're actually the weakest link in my group, be careful or we might outnumber you, being near us all the time greatly increases the number of times murderous male lions attack this group

Bears: Listen. Even if i get injured i'll just eat something that doesn't run from me until i heal (some brown bear populations spend a couple months a year mainly eating moth colonies, they will eat anything, including moss and fungus). This makes me a direct competitor for ALL you food, btw. Speaking of which it takes like 15 people's worth of food to keep me fed. If i get angry someone is definitely going to die. Protection? from what? The most dangerous thing to a bear is another bear, so also you can't really have more than a couple of me in any group, and staying near me greatly increases the chance of some territorial wild bear rolling up to camp with murder on their mind. What do you meeeean keep wandering around actively instead of sleeping in one spot for months at a time? My life is literally worse with you than without you, and your life is probably worse with me around too.

Weasels: Fuck off you can't keep up with me i eat half my body weight in food every day and bite everything near me. Try to contain me and see what happens i'm made out of teeth and murder and cleverness, and destruction of property and theft are my favorite games and i'm basically always bored unless i'm hunting or fighting or fucking with something. What do you meeeean hold still for 30 seconds now i'm mad and you'll basically have to kill me to stop me from going after whatever i want forever. I will absolutely try to murder every other animal you associate with no matter what size it is, and i will totally also eat all of your other food too because i love fruits and fungus and anything else you like to eat probably - you can't keep me out of your food stores and what i don't eat in the moment i'll steal and hide in my own stash for later. Excuse me now i have to sleep for 18 hours i do not understand why you want to keep doing things for so much of the day.

Don't ask me about ferrets they must have been bought with rodent hunting opportunities like the cats, total fluke if you ask me (ferrets are, in fact, domesticated, after more than two thousand years of human intervention. And it's kind of weird that it happened but i think they were the exact right size to make it work)

I think it's a common misconception that domesticating animals is somewhat like enslaving them. It really is more of a symbiotic relationship. No wild animal would have willingly put up with early humans if they didn't get something out of it. Wolves wouldn't have stayed with us and become dogs if they weren't getting food and safety out of it. Many large herbivores that are now domesticated could and would have easily trampled their early human captors or broken their enclosures open if they didn't have a reason to stay. Sometimes individual animals still do if we don't give them what they need.

The animals that have stayed with us for thousands of years have evolved to cooperate with us better. Dogs have additional facial muscles around their eyes that wolves lack in order to mimic human facial expressions. Sheep grow their wool perpetually while their wild counterparts don't because a bigger fleece means they're more likely to be allowed to breed and be kept around. Domestic dairy cows produce much more milk than wild bovine species and domestic hens lay more eggs. Do you know how energy costly producing eggs or milk is for an animal? It's pretty intense! They wouldn't be able to do that if we hadn't given them the food and safety from predators and the elements to.

And we really need to show these animals respect and gratitude for what they give us by taking excellent care of them. They gave up a lot to be with us, often including the means to take care of themselves in the wild. That's a huge reason why I'm not against using animal products, but I hate factory farming. They are still living, breathing creatures with needs and feelings. They deserve a comfortable life and, when the time comes, a humane death.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Mildly warm take, Tommy does NOT owe his entire career to Dream

Because, YES the dream smp help propel his career as a content creator, but it does not constitute to everything you've done to make himself and his brand better

Did dream write all the jokes? The vlogs? The books? The MCC wins? The friendship formed before and after? The smp's to follow later? Origins? The comedy? Twitch con?

Because if you say That Dream did all of that for Tommy then I'm going to assume Dream Is Crawling into his skin and piloting his body

Saying dream owns Tommy's as well as other people's careers, is like saying that if I were to bake a cake it wouldn't be my cake it would be the person who made the ingredients. I still baked the cake, put the ingredients together, bought them, got the recipe and just because I didn't grow the wheat or milk the cow it doesn't make it not my cake.

The smp did objectively help his career there is no fault in that and even Tommy acknowledges it, but you can't attribute every single thing that he does now to Dream.

And you can also argue that dream was a bad person, because he was. Regardless of allegations and other people's experiences, dream intentionally seeked out a 14 year old streamer, made him sign a legal contract, took every single bit of credit, got into fights with him on a regular basis, a made him feel so bad you will slamming his head against the desk.

That's not normal. None of that's normal.

And then in an alternative perspective dream didn't do us much for the smp as he claims. The only things he did was bring the content creators together, start the server, and play as his own character.

I do not get me wrong there is credit in that and he did do those things that allow the server to operate, but those with the only things he did.

Wilbur (as much as we hate him) wrote the scripts, and alot of Tommy lore. Will stopped writing the Script after he died canonically, and then later came back because in his own words " lI had to write myself back into the narrative [...] I didn't like where it was going. Not to see dream is a bad writer, but we had different ideas". That's him putting it nicely, the worst bit for the smp realistically was when dream was writing the lore.

And I'm not saying that it was bad but what I am saying is that the majority of people found it bad, so bad in fact that they had to bring Will back.

Dream did not write his own story.

And to the other content creators, on the server they will their own lore. And they acted it out themselves, dream was no part of that yet they still had to sign contracts because it was still on the physical server.

Ranboo and Technoblade in particular had some of the best story writing and telling, and they did it all themselves.

But there's only one thing in common, that makes sense but I think we all missed, dream was in every single person story or had planned to be. And I get it it's his server but on the other hand they could have had amazing stories without his input. Ranboo could have replaced Dream with a mysterious unknown character in his lore, and the outcome and affect would have been the same story-wise. Dream didn't need to be Puffy's son, but he was. Technoblade and Philza could have skip to the side plot of saving dream and instead it needed to return a favour to someone else.

The storytelling within the server is a amazing but if you subtract dream and put someone in his place it's still would have been the same story. It's like he was made to be sandwich in everyone's story. And yes he was a great character in most stories, but in others he was unnecessary.

Put with the overall fact that he had to be in every single story obviously ties back to the server being his, but it's also a reflection of his own ego. He probably still to this day believe that every single person has a career because of him and do not because of who they are now. He definitely helped but it's not all him.

And I would say George, Sapnap and Dream, have the same issue with ego. You see the way dream behaves with over people, he dominated people's careers for many years and had it done by fear.

Sapnap, he would swear and curse every single person, to the point where Scott said he was the most difficult person to put on a team because no one wanted to play with him (I have a different post about MCC). There were many offensive and situations in which the pair of them actually ruin the game for a lot of people. If you were not a person who watched MCC back in the day then I can tell you from now they had to change so many rules, Scott had to start making applications because of the amount of times that they would bail or not communicate with him or simply people didn't want to play with him and wanted to avoid him, and due to their obsessive behaviour in needing to the practice the maps so much that when the game was chosen some people didn't even try because they knew who would win.

They're talented don't get me wrong but there is an extent in which that their Talent crosses with ego and makes the whole game unplayable. This is without mentioning the amount of people who were scared to play with this team or against this team. No one had a fun.

And even in the smp, some people purposely avoided Sapnap, because he didn't know how to manage himself.

And George you could argue also has a large ego because of the people he surrounds himself by and he's a success. He is an objectively/ conventionally attractive male, and there have been many instances including in recent times and in certain develop it situations that he used it to his advantage. He doesn't behave his age and he treats people cruelly.

And most importantly, the fans. Yes YOU. You heavily contributed to the success of the server and to the success of the creators. But the level of obsession people would have regarding these content creators is something that will always baffle me.

And alot of people asked them to speak out, especially Dream. And he didn't. Dream actually encouraged his audience by selling sketchy merchandise and a USB stick with his baby pictures on it. He enables his radical audience because they are what keeps him going. Realistically without the radical side of his audience he would not be as successful and financially well off as he is now.

Additionally those people attack literally anyone that set something bad about him, and at first he tried to downplay it, then he assured people he would manage it and tell them to start, but then along the way he must have realized that these people a Ride or Die for him and that if he drives away these people he drives away a lot of money, free advertisement and a defense system against his brand- and I say this because these people would defend him in any circumstance

So then he doesn't stop them, and now you've got a 19-20s yr old with an unfortunate amount of mental health issues, some people who continue to jab him with needles anytime he's upset.

And it's sad. Is far beyond something that his parents can protect him from, yet he hasn't found the resources to protect himself. He's not happy with himself. He used to be scared to stand with someone successful even though he's successful.

And I'm genuinely proud of how much Tommy has grown. He is and continues to be a dedicated, passionate and nice person regardless of circumstances, he continues to be real with his audience and tries not to waste thier time. And none of that was taught to him by Dream. He taught himself how to be himself. If I see one person saying that he's a clout chaser I'm gonna have to tell you that you're wrong because he's done so much for himself to the point where you can't even count it yet you can count the things dream did for him on a Post-it note.

Tommy did well

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

More "Bumblebee and Optimus meeting as ✨Adults✨ but still being Father and Son" stuff I came up with, plus extra because I can't get these chuckle-fucks out of my head.

Link to my prev. post for context. incase yall missed it bc I'm not explaining myself, we're just diving right into the deep end

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Bee knows Optimus isn't one for physical affection, and he fully understands and accepts that. He doesn't want to make Optimus uncomfortable by disrespecting one of his boundaries, that's just a shit thing to do. And Bumblebee is not a shit person. But... he's also desperate. Look, being deprived of physical parental affection your whole life fucks you up something good, let Bumblebee tell you, it makes you do some odd shit just to get a taste of what you've been missing out on. And! And most of the stuff Bumblebee has done are perfectly normal things to do! Plenty of casual stuff, leaning against his chair to look at what Optimus is working on, high fives and fist bumps (Optimus rarely, if ever, does these but for Bee he'll do anything just to make him smile, see Optimus acting totally normal about his feelings what are you talking about), leaning against him for a second when he's tired, totally normal! There are, less normal things, like when one of Bee's legs nearly got torn off on a mission and Optimus had to carry him back to base and Bee curled up close in Optimus's arms the whole time- because of the pain, totally 100% definitely only the pain that was Not mostly taken care of by some field anesthetics. It felt nice to be carried like a kid, sue him.

Getting injured is a special case with giving and taking affection. For example, when Bumblebee had to drag Optimus to a med bay after he passed out from a mission. They were walking into the common room together; Optimus was telling Bee he was fine when he CLEARLY wasn't because he didn't want to wake the medics for something as Trivial as THEIR LEADER and FREIND'S HEALTH (Bee is this close to strangling him) when Optimus just pitched over onto the floor.

Optimus, clearly tried and hurt: I will be fine, there is no need to wake the medics, I just need some energ... *faceplants*

Bumblebee: What did I say? What did fragging I say?! *Hefts Optimus's limp body onto his shoulders* fragging, stupid, slagging, moron, 'I don't need a medic, I'll be fine' he says, if I had been the one doing this, you would have torn the base apart getting the medics up, fragging idiot. *drags Optimus's body out of the room*

Optimus: *Mumbles something about not wanting to bother anyone*

Bumblebee: Too fragging bad, big man, you are going to take care of yourself and you're going to like it!

So now Bee has to drag a bot much bigger than him back down the hall and into the Medbay, just because Optimus was being fucking stupid. Yes it looks as funny as you're thinking. Optimus is semi-conscious but delirious as they make their way down the halls of the base and says "I don't want to take anything that would be better served helping any of you, I care about all of you so much I don't want to see you hurt. I love you." and Bumblebee's like Optimus, I feel so loved and so angry right now, but fuck what you want you're getting taken care of. No, you did not just make my fucking day, I lOve yoU tOo dAd-. He gets Optimus into the medbay on a berth then goes to forcibly wake the medics up to calm himself down because he is seconds from crying.

Optimus eventually gets better with affection, and now Bee gets a hug whenever he asks. He has yet to come down from this high.

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Bumblebee calls Megatron his "Shit Ex-Stepfather". The entirety of team prime thinks this is hilarious. Even Optimus can't help but smile, though he tries to hide it. Someone, probably Jazz, changed Megatron's file name to "Worlds Worst Stepfather". After the war, if Megatron is still alive, he will mysteriously acquire some kind of award saying "Cybertron's #1 Worst Stepfather". He is very confused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you could get Optimus drunk, he would become such a sap. Like, insufferably soft and emotional. And he would be talking about Bee damn near the whole time. He would be so annoying.

Optimus: *Drunk* Did I ever tell you about Bumbl-bee? He's, he's my boy, my bumble boy, my gold'n boy, my buzzy boy, my sweet cheese. An, he's really yellow, you'll know it's him, he looks like- he's really yellow, it's hard not to see him, but he's really really good at sneaking. Even though he's so yellow. He can sneak around so good, no one sees him. I can see him, 'cause he's my boy. He can sneak around and nooo one finds him, 'cept me, 'cause he's my boy. He can hide so good, he hid under sshockwave's chest once. Riiiight under his eye, his big purple eye. Bee's so funny, he tells such funny stories. He tells his stories better then me, they're a lot funnier. I'm not good at funny stories. He's really good at it. He's really good at lots of things. Bee's so cool. I'm so happy he's here, he's so cool and funny and nice and cool. And he fights real good too, he's so cool. he once- Bee once punched my ex once, right in the face. Riiight in the kisser, just, boosh. My ex sucks, Bee's so cool. I like him, he's my boy. An-and he taught himself how to do aaaaall the cool things he does. He didn't have anyone to teach him, he did it all by himself. All alone... I wish I met him sooner, when he was small. He says he was really cute when he was small and I want to see him small. I like him big though, he's really fun when he's big. He's- *Sobs* He's my booooy, and I love him so muuuuch.

This continues for hours. Luckily he never drinks so no has to suffer through this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you thought Optimus was the Serial Adopter, you'd be wrong. It's Bumblebee. No bot is safe from his clutches. He scoops up family members like a pelican scoops fish. Optimus is barely aware of how many family members he technically has, he stopped keeping track a long time ago.

Bumblebee: *Bursting into the room dragging some bot he was on an extended mission with* OPTIMUS, I GOT ATTACHED AGAIN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER

Optimus: *Not looking up from his data pad* That's great, son, go put it with the rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Optimus would be such a good grandparent. In the future, after the war ends, Bumblebee comes into possession of a kid; whether he finds someone and takes them under his wing or he just fucking makes one, I don't know nor care, but he gets a kid. And when he introduces them to Optimus, Optimus just fucking melts. He was already a huge softie before but he's so much worse now. He goes full grandma mode. He has snacks in his pockets (or whatever bots have) that he sneaks to the kid every time he sees them. He gives them money at random. You best believe he would destroy anything that even looked at his grandbaby wrong (Bee: Optimus, stop attacking the door. Optimus, the door just bumped them, they're fine. Dad stop, omp(rimus))

The "Bee finds a kid and both of them get attached and now are a family" is the funnier option. Because the kid knows who these guys are, they saved Cybertron. The kid's still getting used to having Bee as their guardian, so when they meet the 13th Prime: Holder of the Matrix of Leadership, Savior of Cybertron, they don't expect Dotting Grandparent Extraordinaire.

Bumblebee: and this is Optimus Prime. He's your Grandpa.

The kid : *nervous* He's my what?

Optimus: *on the verge of tears* mY grAnDbABy-

The "Bee made a kid" version is still pretty funny.

Bumblebee: *Exasperated* Optimus, give me my child back.

Optimus: *violently crying* nO, It'S mY bAbY nOW.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine, if you will, Optimus and Bumblebee sitting on a roof together, not talking, not touching, just watching the sun set. Just enjoying the silence together, maybe with some energon to go with it. Because they get it, oh they get it. Sometimes you just need to be alone with someone. That good mutual respect and love from a found family that understands you. this is why I need bee to be an adult, I need both of them to be hurting and find some comfort in each other, to find solace in each other, to be a family and to be equals, is that too much to ask?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A list of things Bumblebee is allowed to get away with:

Interrupting Meetings to Tell Optimus Something, important or not (hi dad)

Casually touching the Usually Touch Adverse Optimus (Physical affection ftw)

Calling Optimus out on his self-sacrificial bullshit (you're going to see the medics and you're going to like it, old man)

Using the three points above to drag Optimus into the Medbay by force (Ratchet is so smug about this)

Getting Optimus to do something fun and relaxing (father son bonding time, as Bee says.)

Swearing aggressively (for everyone else it's unprofessional, for Bee its therapeutic. He stretches this excuse as far as it goes)

Making Insulting comments about others to their face (look they deserve it if the Perpetually Friendly Bumblebee is saying it)

Talking about Megatron (Usually team prime avoids talking about Megsy outside of war related convos out of respect for Optimus's history with him. Bumblebee does not give a shit, Megatron is a bitch and he's going to make his opinions known (Everyone thinks it's funny dw))

Illegal activities (this fucker street races in every universe, you think he isn't doing shit like this on the daily?)

Murder

Stealing/Sneaking snacks (he shares with Optimus)

Making jokes about Optimus being his dad (he thinks it's funny bc they're not related and they met like 6 years ago. Optimus explodes with emotion every time bc you consider me good enough to be your dad?)

Bee is a fucking menace, Optimus loves him so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Misc. funny word vomit I came up with that have no context, reason, or sense

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Optimus is working at a desk focusing on some data pads. A tiny energon cube flies into frame, bouncing off Optimus's forehead and landing on the desk. Optimus grabs the cube and eats it without looking up from the datapad. A few minutes pass, another energon cube flies and bounces off Optimus's head. He eats it without looking. Bumblebee is sitting off to the side in the room with Optimus with a bag of energon snacks, periodically throwing one at the distracted Prime. This is Bee's and Ratchet's newest scheme to get Optimus to actually eat, and it's working splendidly. (Actually, Bumblebee originally was throwing the energon onto the desk, but over time he got bored and started just throwing the cubes directly at Optimus. He hasn't noticed any of the cubes hitting him at all, so Bee's started trying to do trick shots.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Bumblebee?"

"Absolutely, now throw me."

"Alright... Three, two, one- Ngha!"

*distant loud metal slam*

"..."

*distantly* "I'm good! We're in business!"

*quietly* "oh thank primus..."

*distantly* "Okay, I'm done. I'm coming back down."

"Wait-"

*distantly* "Hup!"

*loud crashing metal noises*

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's early morning, everyone got back to base late the night before. Everyone is tired. Optimus is sitting at the table in the common room, slowly drinking a cube of energon. His eyes are half open and bleary. Bumblebee is beside him, head in his hand, dozing. Bee's head falls from his hand and slams onto the table. Optimus doesn't even blink at the noise, just takes a sip of energon.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bumblebee takes a lot of pictures. Mostly of his team. He's pretty sneaky about it too, usually just taking a capture from his visual feed and saving it to his personal datapad. And at a glance none of the pictures are all that special, captures of a group of bots hanging out between missions, selfies of Bee and company on missions, drunken mishaps, quiet moments, he's got this really funny one of Cliffjumper stuck in a storage closet, but Bee keeps all these photos out of sight. The others are aware of his habit but they never see most of the photos, they never ask. Bee only opens his photos folder when ever he has a quiet moment alone and just scrolls through, reminiscing. His favorites are the ones where he caught someone's genuine smile. Sometimes they're in the background of a larger group shot, or it's just them smiling at Bee in conversation. He's got a lot of Optimus's smile. Optimus doesn't smile a lot, but he always seems to smile when Bee's around. Bee's proud that he can do that for him.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this could literally be anyone on team prime: *teasing* You playing favorites, Prime? Giving Bumblebee all this special treatment is making the rest of us feeling left out.

Optimus: You all treat him the exact same way I do.

again, literally anyone on team prime: ... Touché, Boss bot, touché...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After spending an extended period of time in close proximity to Megatron (for what ever reason), Bumblebee and Optimus talk.

Bee: You had terrible taste in partners.

Optimus: *sighs*

Bee: Physically, I can see the appeal, but everything else is a wild thing to say yes to.

Optimus: ...

Bee: His personality, his interests- just why none of that clocked you onto how fragged up he would be is beyond me.

Optimus: ........

Bee: You're not stupid, I hope that your next partner will be leagues better than him. Ratchet maybe, oh or Elita, they would make great partners (and even better step-parents), or maybe-

Optimus: CanwePleasestoptalkingaboutmylovelife??

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Bumblebee: If you get back together with Megatron I'm disowning you.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BB: This is... so dumb.

OP: The higher I am the better I can see.

BB: You can- You can fly.

OP: Hush now Bumblebee! I am searching...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk man, brain rot hits something different when I think about it for long periods of time

[genderqueerdykes]

the election results have me feeling really bummed out as a closeted/pre-everything transmasc person. i feel like im grieving a version of myself that will never get to exist because im too scared

hey it's okay to feel this way, i'm sorry you're so scared right now

something i'd like everyone to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible for trump to change everything overnight. i hate our government but it has to fight with itself in order to function. individual states in the country are proposing some very questionable and unsafe bills, but it's not a reason to give up hope. there will always be states in our country like California who have and maintain strong enough trans protection laws that people will still have somewhere to go

change when it comes to government is gradual. it doesn't happen over night. that's how transphobes and republicans want you to feeel. they want you to give up, to become defeated and to never, ever try to transition. youre not wrong for feeling bummed, but do not give up on your transition because of them. that's what they want. fight like hell for your future. fight like hell for your comfort and identity

if anything now is the best time to get started. trump literally cannot do anything until January. and even then that's the motion of attempting to put bills and laws into action. attempting. there's no guarantee anything will be passed. reminder that we lived thru 4 years of trump before and barely anything happened. republicans are not as scary as we think they are. trump is a fascist yes but he can only do so much when it comes to bickering with the rest of the government

government moves slowly. change happens gradually. if you need help relocating to a safer place, feel free to ask. pursue transition now if you have the ability to. don't let some fascists get into your head and make you think it will literally be impossible. i promise it won't. they want you to get scared and feel like they're so powerful you can't do anything. fortunately the're not. you don't have to give up on your future. you don't have to give up on transition

take care of yourself, okay? it's okay to feel bummed but don't let them get too deep into your head. thats exactly what they want. they want all the trannies to detransition, go back into the closet, or never transition. and it's okay if people do this. but this is what they want. im going to continue being shamelessly trans. im going to continue being a tranny who looks acts and sounds queer. i know not every queer can do this. i know not every trans preson has that luxury

if you genuinely can't medically or socially transition it's alright. a lot of people just can't. it genuinely is very unsafe for many people. but i just want to stress that things will not become 1000x worse over night. you still have a chance. and there are people fighting for your right to transition right now. we will continue to fight harder. defeat is not an option- we will not let it be.

good luck, i hope you're able to feel better soon. take care of youreslf, no matter what you choose it's okay. but remember that change happens gradually. we will adapt

[fearecia]

Huh. Yeah. Far as I know, this isn't a common thing in the US. But also, neither is taking off your shoes when you go inside (though that seems to be a bit more common, depending on the household).

Are you in the US? Are your parents from another culture? This mindset screams "Japanese" to me, but that's probably because I associate the whole "you have inside shoes and outside shoes and never shall the two be confused" with Japanese culture. I also associate the willingness to wear masks when ill with them as well*. So I'm wondering if you grew up in a family with a different cultural background and that's why you're facing what I would consider to be "culture shock."

Conversely, I've worked in healthcare. And it ironically had kind of the opposite effect on me. Like, after the literal shit I've been exposed to, I'm seriously not worried about what's in the general environment. Of course I still wash my hands whenever I'm doing food prep, but I'm generally not worried about it when I'm out in public. I sort of consider anything I come into contact with as a way to keep my immune system trained up and active so that I'm less likely to get sick. Exposure therapy, if you will. That doesn't apply to anything obviously disgusting; I keep my hands to myself and avoid touching excess stuff. I also don't just go out to go out, so there's a lot less exposure in general for me, so that may play into things. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Of course I'm super OCD about washing my hands whenever I'm doing anything healthcare/client/other people related. I'm just less concerned in general about myself, if that makes any sense.

*Please note that I am terrible at differentiating all peoples and cultures ftom each other and I'm very well aware of it. My labels are very often wrong/incorrect/likely fueled by bad stereotypes. I'm only associating this with Japanese peoples and their culture because my brain is screaming that it's isolated to them and not a generalized Asian cultural mindset, and I'm half remembering images from some educational show about it. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but know that I'm not trying to be an ass. This is one of those things where because my brain has not had a good reason/enough exposure to all the distinctions, it positively refuses to remember things, and I constantly get stuck in generalizations. No offense intended, I swear.

I'm also face blind and literally cannot physically tell the difference between different peoples, so that doesn't help either.

in the vein of "how do you stay safe from getting sick", I wanna say that something I always noticed as a kid was that a lot of the time when I went to people's houses and we would leave at some point to the mall or the park or something and then come back home…I don't remember any of them washing their hands when we got back inside. they'd just immediately lead me back to their room or the living room or something, and then I'd feel incredibly self-conscious about going to their bathroom to wash my own hands. and I always thought it was absolutely bizarre because the way I was raised, the first thing you do when you come back home after taking your shoes and jacket off is go wash your hands. it's common sense. why on planet earth would you not wash your hands. you've just been touching a hundred public surfaces that could have anything on them and you think as soon as you set foot in your own house all the germs you've picked up just evaporate? it's absolutely insane to me to know that so many people don't bother washing their hands. WASH YOUR HANDS.

[worriedvision]

A marriage of convenience - Mr Reca

Gender neutral reader, sitting on this one for a while. Angsty ending, basically yet another example of poor communication and misinterpreted comments from both parties.

--

"Oh, dear you need to get married soon! You still have years to get your career sorted, but finding yourself a good spouse is a different story!"

"Still no ring on your finger?"

"No bitches?"

These are comments various family members just kept asking you. It didn't make sense to you, your personal life was your own business and you didn't ever think to move on the comments. You'd brush them off, but after they never stopped you began to vent to your best friend, Mr Reca.

"Ah, why don't we use this as an opportunity to explore a marriage! It'll help be with my, uhh, my scriptwriting!" Your friend stumbled momentarily before rounding off confidently.

It made sense at the time - both of you were single, he needed 'script material' and you needed the comments to stop. It was fortunate you had the chance to work with your friend through this, and it was more likely he was just seeing this as a chance to see his next film idea come to fruition.

--

As time moved on, and you got married with a large extravagant wedding - filmed on old cameras - you begin to realise just how infatuated you were with your husband. When he was in public with you, he would be non-stop gushing to people about how amazing he was for landing someone as amazing as you. The public affection, the fact he would take any chance to get you something nice.

It wasn't there as much behind closed doors, and it made you yearn for more private moments with him. He was a busy man, however, so it proves difficult.

You try, though! Making him packed lunches, kissing him on the cheek whenever you got the chance and trying to initiate hugs at home.

None of it seemed to do much, though. He wouldn't react, but it wasn't a good thing. It was like he was thinking 'yes, this is what a marriage should be, good job _!' instead of a quiet appreciation.

You yearn to have more moments, and it doesn't help that the press have clocked that your affections carry out privately as opposed to the public. People accuse you of being a gold digger, of being a leech that's too stupid to realise it's being a leech.

Once you get home after a particularly difficult day, dealing with dirty looks, you decide to bring up divorce with your husband. It breaks your heart how willingly he is to accept a divorce like it was nothing. It had been a while, you'd have thought he would care even if it was just for script-writing. Part of you thinks he's just wanting a sad dramatic end for this chapter, but he can write a much better ending than the one you're about to provide.

The paperwork gets signed and filed away, cameras around you as the two of you leave the building, and you turn to your now ex-husband to say some parting words, and to leave him with one last act of affection.

"I'm sorry, I fell in love with you. You're a wonderful man, you'll find someone who can treat you better than myself." You smile, Mr Reca seemingly only realising in that moment you actually had feelings for him. You grab him by his cheeks lightly, delicately yet passionately kissing him before pulling away, tears brewing in your eyes as you pull off your wedding band and drop it.

Before he has time to stop you, however, you run off into the crowd, the crowd swarming him for interviews now that he was a newly divorced man.

[redvexillum]

Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi ♡

I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.

Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.

But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.

You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.

Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.

While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.

People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.

All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.

You're the beating heart of positivity.

It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.

I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.

Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Cirice, I honestly don’t have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls I’ve ever had the honor to meet, and I can’t thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something I’ve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. I’m just deeply grateful that you’re part of this community.

You and so many others are the reason why I’ve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. It’s been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.

Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing we’re all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. 💖

Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie

[astr-venus]

｡⁠☆ Who Is This Diva✦

｡⁠☆Content: Izuku Midoriya BF headcanons

｡⁠☆Cw: a few uses of she/her, one singular pregnancy mention, no use of y/n, light cursing

✦ Always writing in that damn notebook, there is nothing you can say or do that won't end up there

✦ If you're creeped out by it, he will commit what you said to memory and write it down later

✦ The best gift giver. He notices everything about you. From your face to your body to your brain. All of his gifts are thoughtful

✦ Didn't know how to do his own hair until Mina showed him, however if you know how to do it he'll play dumb

"My hair... ? Y-Yeah, Mina normally helps me with it, b-but I seen you take care of your own so... Do you mind helping me instead ? Not that Mina isn't great, b-but she isn't you... Sorry, is that a weird thing to say ?"

✦ Sometimes YOU are the third wheel when Katsuki's around. Good luck with that.

✦ Nervous forever. Constantly apologizing. Trips over everything when you're around. His face is always bright red. Nervous talker for sure. Heaven forbid you compliment him, he might pass out on the spot

✦ He stays on Uraraka's phone. He needs advice before he does anything, especially if you're a girl. He used to take advice from Kaminari, and then he learned his lesson (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

"I-It's not sexist to assume she likes flowers just cause she's a girl right ?.... What ?! Of course I know that not all girls like flowers !! .... N-No way I can't just ask her. What if she thinks I'm weird" (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

✦ Doodles you everywhere. Aizawa is fed up with the scribbled pictures of you in all the corners of his homework. He's debating whether or not he should take point off his papers just to get him to stop. Mic and All Might think it's cute

✦ All this to say he is the sweetest ever. He makes sure to know every single thing about you, it borders on obsession. He follows you around like a lost puppy. His receiving love language is physical touch/quality time, and his giving love language is gift giving and acts of service

✦ Izuku is selfless to a fault, but when it comes to you he can't help but be selfish. No matter how much he gives to you, he feels justified because your love, affection, time, and attention, is the ultimate prize.

☆ PROHERO ☆

✦ Interviewers are tired of hearing about you. Any questions lead right back to what you're doing, something you've said, what you think, what you look like. It doesn't matter as long as it's about you

✦ Puts your needs first which can be really nice, but definitely neglects himself in the process. Like this man has chronic pain in his hands, but will stay up until ungodly hours giving himself carpal tunnel making something that you didn't even ask for just bc he knew you'd like it

✦ If you're not a prohero (hell, even if you are), Izuku is overprotective. His worst fear is you being taken from him in any sense of the word. Losing you isn't something he would ever get over

✦ Rarely ever yells, but when he does he sounds just like Katsuki. It's annoying how much like Katsuki he sounds. Otherwise though, he prefers to concede to whatever you want, the only time serious arguments occur is if it's about something like your safety

"Shouto, I'm gonna throw myself off a cliff... No she's not hurt she's perfectly fine don't even joke about that !!! .... The problem ? Shou she's so mad at me.... Don't look at me like that, I'm serious !"

✦ A sass monster. Rarely ever to your face, most of the time it's just a mutter under his breath that you barely catch but you just know he said something smart.

✦ If your first language isn't Japanese then trust and believe he's learning whatever your native tongue is. He has the cutest accent too. If he's feeling bold he'll use your lessons as an excuse to flirt with you, and after that there's a high chance you won't get anything done

✦ NOT a morning person. Clings to you and the bed like his life depends on it. Moaning and groaning in your ears about how mean you are to him, how could you make him get up for early morning patrol ? Death for 10 thousand years have been cursed upon him.

"Hmm ? I don' care 'bour the alarm. Turn it off... Where you goin' ? Noooo don' go shh i's okay, mhmm it snoozes itself. Jus' lay back down, yeah 'xactly baby.... Hmm ? Late ? Patrol ? OHMYGOD PATROL !!"

✦ Pet name extraordinaire. It takes a while until he finds his favorite, so he spends his time cycling through all types of sweet names. Anything from baby to darling to pookiebear to beautiful. He probably doesn't stray too far into weird names, but he dips his toes in if it feels right.

✦ Won't admit it, but he loves it when you flaunt him to your friends. Makes him feel like a big strong man, especially when you feel up his arms. His face flushes bright red and he tries to wave it off but he stutters so much that his sentence is barely distinguishable, but of course that only makes you want to do it more

✦ When you get married it's honestly been inevitable, especially if you met while in highschool. If it was only up to Izuku you would've been married within the month, but lucky for you he has self restraint. If you both want kids they truly won't be far behind marriage, and if you thought he was obsessive before just imagine if you get pregnant.

First post,, how exciting !! Not sure if I'm sticking with this format, but I think I like it. My blog is almost completely set up and I have a few reblogs so... My askbox is open if you so please (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Who f/w black Izuku like I do ?? 🗣️🗣️

｡⁠☆Requests open

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato

The angst was so real (in the best way)! 😭

She does, she's just afraid to admit it to herself and afraid to have those feelings for someone who doesn't love her back. And it really makes you want to hit her over the head with a frying pan LOL. And thank you! That's how I intended it to be, which is even more heartbreaking 😭

It does make sense, poor thing. 😭 She's so unwilling to believe he could love her the way she wants/needs, while he's hesitating to allow himself to do it. And I'm thinking he's fighting off some self-doubt/self-worth issues as well?

I love this journey of self-discovery for her, both with her brother and past, and with her expanding powers. It's pique Hero's Journey stuff! 💚

Plus, I really think that the creature is adorable, well, besides the murder tendencies. (I guess we could also say that about Ben LMAO)

LMAO factssss. Who could say no to that adorably confused grandpa face?

The reader is killing me tbh. I know I've said this before, but writing slow burn is literally almost as bad as reading it. Don't get me wrong I LOVE slow burn, but oh my stars sometimes it's so frustrating for them to both be in so much denial lol. I shouldn't complain because I did this to myself and now it really is "oh look the consequences of my own actions" lol.

LOLL the slow burn is a killer for both of us! "The consequences of our own actions" is so deeply relatable for the writing process. 🤣🤣

Thank you so much!💗 For me there really is something wonderful about reading/seeing creative chaos in a home, and also looking at creative spaces that people have. I think that there is warmth and comfort in a home that looks lived in. It's why I don't love minimalism, because it looks cold if that makes sense lol.

Aw you're welcome! I totally agree. I love seeing that as well -- it's like getting a window into a person's mind through their living space. I don't like minimalism for that reason either!

Again, I was so on the fence about Soothsayer, but what you said about her being in "an even better position to give her advice when it comes to that man" is exactly why I decided to include her.

Honestly it was a great twist! It makes her friendship with Ben more fleshed out and her own past, and how it serves to help the reader now. Especially now that it seems she's going to help get the reader and Ben together! 😂

I know 😭 She is going to realize it soon and I am so excited about that reveal. Oh plus I do think that she does know deep down that she does love him and care about him, but she's afraid to admit it because she doesn't want to fall for someone who she believes doesn't value relationships like she does.

God I can't wait!! lol And I totally get that. She really does seem to realize how deep her feelings run for him, but she's afraid, for the reasons you said. 🥲🥲

Mayyyybbbbeeeee...😉 Honestly, as much as I love reading fics where the reader isn't a supe, there's always a little part of me that can't help but see the reader growing old and Ben staying the same, and it always breaks my heart. There really is something so intimate and romantic about being able to truly spend your life with someone else, not just your life and then they go on for another few centuries.

Ooooh yesssss. 😏 And totally agree with you there! It's too bittersweet for me when you know one of them is going to die someday and the other keeps living on, carrying the weight of their memory. It's why I had to come up with that twist in BMD loll. Thank you for noting on that! It took some head scratching and BS science (and some inspo from my love of Smallville), but I think the reasoning was convincing enough on how the reader in BMD "caught up" with his longevity of life. 😂 I also love the idea of the plants giving her healing abilities and prolonging her life through that cell regeneration. 💚💚

It's my favorite line too! That and the bundt cake 😂. But you're right, he's afraid of everything that he's feeling and after Countess, he's not sure if he should fall for someone again.

Can't forget the bundt cake!!

Oh yeah, Countess sure fucked him up. 😬 That, along with the torture and years of being treated like a god in all other respects. 🫠

Oh Ben, he'll get there. He just needs some actual love in his life, and someone stubborn enough to not only put up with his shit, but like you said, "take a chance" on him. 😉

It's always my pleasure to read your stories, hun! Giving the feedback is the least I can do. 💕

Chapter 14: Don't Be A Bundt Cake

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you never expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Soft Ben/ Soldier Boy, Protective Ben/Soldier Boy, Miscommunication Trope

Word Count: 13.1K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), Swearing, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Innuendo, Talks of Death, DENIAL, Idiots in Love, Pining by the Reader (and SB, but he won't admit it) Depressing Thoughts, Mentions of sexual assault/rape (not detailed at all, really just in passing) Talks about weed, Sexist comments, Ben makes derogatory comments, Threatening Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: I am so sorry this one took me a bit longer. The writers block was fighting me the whole way, but we are very closely nearing the end of this series and the moment the reader and Ben stop being so stinkin' stubborn.

Reader POV

You lean your forehead against the cool window, watching the world flash by in a flurry of color. The wooded forests had vanished hours ago and all that was left were the yellowed sprawling fields of corn and grain and family farms that were laid sporadically along the interstate. Each one a little world that caught the flecks of golden sunlight as the sun began to peak above the horizon.

The bus rolled smooth and steady over the weathered pavement towards it's destination and was filled with an odd assortment of people young and old. There was man with a brightly colored parrot that had been singing "It's A Small World After All" since you left NYC, a woman with a little boy playing with an iPad and who refused to turn down the volume no matter how many times his mother asked him to, a group of teenagers a few seats up that continued to pass around a flask, and due to how far back you were sitting on the bus an uncomfortable smell emanated from the bathroom each time the door was opened.

But you didn't notice any of it.

The only thing on your mind were the events that happened almost twenty hours ago. They continued to circle your mind, playing over and over again like a perverted cassette tape making you sink further into the worn cloth covered seat at the back of the bus. The images were haunting, some new and some old, but all the more still horrible to re-live.

The song "Nights In White Satin" floating into the backseat of your family's car, the flash of unnatural light you knew was never lightning, the caskets at your parent's funeral covered in flowers that were much to pretty to lay on something so morbid, Elijah's body succumbing to the poppies that ripped him apart, the proud sneer on your brother's face when he admitted to killing your parents, Darren's broken and bloodied body strewn in pieces over the street with the creature standing over him with a dripping red maw, the ruined building that housed "Please Don't Die" reduced to nothing more than rubble, and the look on Ben's face when you turned your back on him and fled the scene.

For some reason that particular image seemed to cling on to you and refused to fade. You'd never seen him look that way, almost… helpless and a little fearful. In all the time you'd known him, Ben had never looked at you that way. Sure you'd seen him proud, angry, cocky, lustful, mischievous, but never fearful. And you were sure that it wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling, but that begged the question… why?

Why was he looking at me like that? Why wouldn't he let me go? And what was he afraid of?

The creature curled in your lap snorts something in it's sleep, turning it’s head further into the cradle of your elbow to shut out the brilliant early morning sunlight. It was now the size of a toaster and had warranted several odd looks whenever you got off to change buses, but you didn't care.

You weren't sure about anything anymore. Everything your brother confessed to you made you feel like you were living a lie and the revelation of exactly what your powers could do- take life from plants to heal yourself, create whatever the hell it was on your lap, and speak to plants… it scared you.

You thought for so long that you knew everything about your powers, that you were in control, but now you weren't sure.

You felt different, as if something had unlocked deep down that you couldn't shut up again.

You'd felt different after you killed Elijah, but this was more alive, weaving and twisting in the pit of your stomach. You felt more connected to the earth, to the world outside the bus even though you were divided by glass and metal. You could feel the energy that thrummed through the body of the creature on your lap, bending to your will, the life force of the plants it was formed from molding with you, becoming a part of you.

You felt so different than the person you had been before Darren entered the shop, so uncertain, and there was only one place you wanted to be when you felt like this… home. You couldn't wait to run up the worn front steps of your grandmother's house and into her arms. She always knew what to say in times like this.

And you desperately needed the comfort of her embrace.

The phone in your pocket buzzes again and you flip the screen to see the ridiculous selfie Annie and you had taken on Halloween last year. The one that you'd both spent dressed up as the two brothers from your favorite paranormal tv show. It wasn't the first time she'd called. Annie had called and texted you more times than you could count over the past twenty hours but you didn't answer her. You didn’t want to.

It was the first time that you didn't want to talk to her, but talking to her meant that you'd have to re-live all of it again and you were clawing at the last shred of sanity you had left to keep it together.

The overwhelming waves of emotion kept pummeling you, dragging you deeper beneath the white surf. Each one brought the memories of what happened surging over you and were followed by everything that Darren said to you. Years of taking care of Darren and doing whatever he wished were tearing at your soul, years of giving up little things in your life to make him happy, and years of taking care of a man who you thought cared about you, but hated you enough to kill your parents and try to kill you too.

It made your skin crawl. Each time your brother told you that he loved you was an even bigger lie and now that you knew the truth and saw him for what he was, it felt like you were drowning. The darkness that ebbed just on the edge was begging you to leap into the abyss, but you were resisting the best you could.

The tears had stopped falling miles ago, but you couldn't stop the memories or the emotion that formed a cold ball in the pit of your stomach.

A sigh works it's way up and you pull your legs on the seat underneath you, jostling the creature on your lap that raises it's head for a moment to blink it's black eyes at you sleepily.

It was surprisingly docile right now, especially considering that twenty hours ago it had ripped your brother to shreds. In fact it seemed to understand how upset you were and had spent the better part of the last twenty hours rubbing it's head against your arm as if trying to bring you some comfort. It was settled on your lap, the weight of it a comfort, almost like a weighted plushy that gave you something to focus on.

"It's alright buddy." You whisper, scratching him under his chin. "We're almost home."

The phone in your jacket pocket buzzes again, but when you pull it out to turn it off, you catch a glimpse of the screen, and you hesitate. Because this time it's not Annie who's calling, it’s Ben.

The picture that flashes on the screen under the contact name "Gramps" is the picture of Mr. Fredrickson from Up. It always made you smile whenever he called you and you saw the picture because Ben did often remind you of him. He was certainly just as grumpy as Mr. Fredrickson and just as out of touch, but you thought it was cute.

Your thumb hovers over the answer button and you think about talking to him.

But what would I say?

You weren't sure what to say to him, or why you wanted to speak to him so badly, why you wanted him to be sitting here on the bus with you as you went home, and why you wanted him to hold you against his chest while you allowed yourself to break, but you did. You wanted to feel his awkward shoulder pat and his awkward version of hand holding and you wanted to hear him try to tell you to "buck up" or whatever he thought that a comforting word should be.

He's really not the best at that.

You smile to yourself at the memory of how he tried to comfort you back at the hospital, but the longer you sit there and look down at the picture on the screen the worse you feel.

Maybe that scared you more than your newfound powers, how much you were realizing that you needed him, how much you depended on him when things got too much for you to bear. The memory of him appearing as soon as you needed him back at the shop, another of him grabbing Darren and throwing him into the street as soon as Darren insulted you comes in a flash, and finally followed by the memory of Ben carrying you out of Elijah's office while you curled into his chest. You couldn't remember too much from that moment, in fact you'd thought that Ben had kissed you on top of your head, but you ascribed that to the haze of pain you'd been in from your broken arm.

What you did remember was how wonderfully warm he was after you'd been trapped in that damn freezer and how nice it felt to be in his arms. Another memory of Ben sleeping on the couch at the hospital bubbles up and you feel something in your chest begin to crack open. And you try your best to tell yourself the same thing that you always do when you feel like Ben might care more about you that he was letting on.

Ben doesn't want that. He's made it perfectly clear. He doesn't want a relationship. He's only wants one night, that's why he goes out with all those women-

You hesitate, thumb still hovering over the answer button as you do, the memory of the week you'd spent at the apartment with him flickering in the back of your mind. The week where he refused to leave you alone in the apartment, where he refused to do any jobs for Butcher, where he took care of you the best way he could, when he sat with you on the couch and made you laugh with his ridiculous movies, and the week where he hadn't had one date.

Your finger itched to answer the phone, but you couldn't, because you didn't want to feel this way about Ben, not when he'd told you countless times that you kept romanticizing him, not when he told you that he didn't want a relationship, and not when you could feel yourself beginning to fall for someone you thought was the wrong man.

For just a moment you tried to pretend that it was different, that he was different, but you didn't want to. It only made it hurt more.

The phone stops ringing, but the pit in your stomach still gapes open at you and for the first time in twenty hours you feel tears begin to fall. You didn't know why you were crying about this, why the thought of not picking up Ben's phone call seemed to hurt more than everything that had happened, but something made it hurt.

The bus driver announces over the overhead that you're reaching your final destination as he takes the exit for your hometown. The familiar buildings that line the streets are sheathed in a honeyed glow from the sun, the long shadow of the bus darkening them momentarily as it rumbles down the small streets to the bus station.

When it rumbles to a stop at the bus station you wait for everyone else to get off, trying to summon the strength to stand, and swipe the back of your hand across your face to rid yourself of the remaining tears.

The bus station was about a thirty minute walk from your grandmother's house, and you still hadn't called her. You didn't know what to say, didn't know how to tell her that Darren was dead and that he was the reason why your parents were dead.

The creature crawls up your body to drape it's warm body over the back of your neck as you stand. It wasn't bothering to hide, besides the people in your hometown already thought that you were odd because you were a supe and you'd always welcomed it. You give him a scratch on top of his head and his warm tongue flicks on the bottom of your earlobe as if thanking you before it curls further into the side of your neck, seeking warmth.

The first few steps on solid ground are shaky, but you find the strength while taking in a deep cleansing breath of the outside world, letting the gentle warmth of the sun and the tickle of the autumn breeze pull at your coat. You hadn't stopped at your apartment before coming here, instead you had stumbled your way to the bus station covered in dust, flecked in blood, and demanded the first ticket back to Illinois. It was lucky that the next bus was leaving immediately, because you didn’t want to spend another second in NYC, not when all you wanted was to be home.

Plus you were worried that someone had recorded what exactly happened outside the plant shop and you didn't want to get arrested.

It was self defense anyway. Maybe Jake would represent me in court.

The thought of Jake makes you twinge. You hadn't checked to see if he was alright before you ran from the scene. Not to mention you'd destroyed the shop he'd put all his life savings into after he stopped being a lawyer.

Oh fuck, what if he sues me? He can't exactly sue Darren…

You hear someone call your name and you open your eyes.

Your grandmother is standing in front of the same baby blue pickup truck that she'd had longer than you've been alive, wearing a long multicolored skirt and a pressed white blouse tucked elegantly into it. Her silver hair is loose and long, curling over her shoulders in gentle waves. She looks the same way she looked one week ago when she left, and you've never seen anything so beautiful in your life.

You're running before you can stop yourself, crumbling into her warm embrace, with more tears streaking down your face, but she doesn't mind.

"Shh. It's alright honey." She whispers, rubbing her hand over your back, her embrace steady and surprisingly strong. "Let's go home."

Her home is the same as it's always been. A two story Victorian house painted in a happy yellow shade, with a white wrap around porch and two white rocking chairs sitting empty on the front porch. You'd spent more nights than you could count rocking silently beside her with a crochet project in your lap listening to the rain fall and soak the world outside, while the plants sang praises with every gentle bend beneath the heavy droplets.

You could barely remember the home you spent in your early years with your parents, not when you'd spent most of your childhood spending the night here and after your parents died living here permanently. There was still a large oak tree were a wooden swing swung in the slight breeze on the left side of the yard, a gardenia bush that stretched as high as the second story on the right side of the house and brushed it's soft leaves against the sunshine colored outer walls, a garden filled with both flowering plants and herbs that perked up on both sides of the front yard as you walked up the path, and a cobblestone path that Annie and you had spent hours of your shared childhood covering in chalk art.

Neither of you were good, but when the rain would fall and smudge the clean lines, you'd jump in the puddles that pooled along the walkway singing the lyrics to ABBA's "Cassandra" not quite understanding what it meant.

Standing here outside your house made you miss Annie and feel worse about not calling or texting her back, but you didn't feel like talking about what happened and you were sure that Butcher filled her in. The only thing that you wanted was to collapse in your bedroom upstairs and curl under the comforters.

Despite everything the house was a welcome sight, but at the same time it was different. You could feel the plants calling out to you, asking for you, bending towards you just to touch your shoes as you walked by. You'd never felt so connected with them before, not even when you were in your apartment or working at the shop.  It was overwhelming.

And although a part of you was frightened by it, another part of you rejoiced in it. You didn't feel alone, didn't feel weak, and you knew that you never would ever again.

The creature nuzzled into the side of your neck with a sigh, soaking up the sun's healing rays as you walked up the front steps with your grandmother following behind you silently. She hadn't spoken since she picked you up at the bus station and you hadn't supplied anything in the ten minute car ride back to her house.

You didn't know where to start and you were still trying to process everything yourself.

The inside of her house was just as cozy and warm as it was the day you moved out. There were photos of your parents and you covering the walls (Darren's had been placed in the closet long ago), half-finished knitting projects sorted in different baskets on both the dining room table and the living room coffee table, spools of yarn were strewn over the couch sorted by color, and the fresh smell of gardenia wafted through the open windows on the breeze.

It was home. This was what you'd been missing the moment everything began to crash over you, but as you stood there in the familiar living room it felt like something was missing. Something tugged at the back of your mind, but you couldn't put your finger on it.

There was something or rather someone that should be here, but you didn't know what or who. And your mind supplied Annie, but you weren't sure that's who you meant.

"Let's have some tea." Your grandmother says from behind you and you feel her soft hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the familiar creative chaos and into the large kitchen at the back of the house.

The kitchen isn't spared from the madness, it rarely was. There are boxes upon boxes of cookies in different stages of being packaged all over the counter, dirty bowls and a measuring cup stacked in the sink, and a large opened bag of chocolate chips spilling over the flour covered kitchen island.

It wasn't unusual to find the kitchen or the house in a state of chaos, your grandmother always said that a house should look lived in and that the mess was part of the fun of any major project as long as you were responsible enough to clean it up.

"Bake sale?" You ask as you sit down in the breakfast nook, uttering the first words that you'd said to another human being in twenty hours.

The next breath that you inhale was supposed to be cleansing, but you can still feel a weight pressing down on your chest, the same one that settled in the moment everything happened with Darren.

You contemplate again how you're going to tell her that Darren is dead and was the reason why your parents died.

Damn it Darren.

"Mhmm." She hums, filling the well used red kettle. "Annie's mother practically cornered me in the supermarket yesterday and begged me to make cookies. I love Annie, but her mother needs someone to pull that stick out of her ass. It's been up there for so long that I'm sure it's rotten."

The creature crawls down from your shoulders and down your arm to sniff at one of the chocolate chip cookies nearest you. It hadn't eaten since…

Darren.

You wince slightly at the thought and hope that you hadn't created something that needed and craved human flesh. The last thing you wanted to unleash on the world was Audry two especially in the wake of Homelander.

Truthfully you were waiting for the guilt at killing your brother to come, but it never had and you wondered if it ever would.

Probably not. He deserved that, he killed our parents, he tried to kill me, he tried to kill Ben.

The thought of Ben again makes a lump form in the back of your throat. You didn't know what was happening to you only that you felt guilty for leaving him like that, for yelling at him to let you go, and just vanishing on him when he probably thought that you were going back to the apartment.

He doesn't know where I am. Maybe that's why he tried to call, because he got back to the apartment and couldn't find me there and he was worried. You press your lips together. Yeah. Worried. Right.

"Honey?" Your grandmother says in a soothing voice

You look up from the box of chocolate chip cookies that you didn't remember picking up. Even the creature is looking at you with an expression that you can only explain as worry.

"Yeah?" Your voice shakes slightly.

She's leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, head tilted slightly to the side, her beautiful grayed hair pulled up in an elegant bun, but in her eyes you can see genuine concern. "Fuck." She sighs after a minute.

You blink in surprise. It was the first time that you'd ever heard her say that word in your entire life.

"I shouldn't have left." She breathes. "I told Ben to look out for you. I told him, that little bastard was bound to show up again and what did he do? He left you at that plant shop alone with no protection!"

You'd only seen her really angry a handful of times in your lifetime. Like you, your grandmother often had a gentle disposition and didn't get angry unless the situation called for it.

I mean, Darren admitted to killing our parents and then got fucking ripped apart. But how does she know about any of that? I haven't told her…

"How did you know that he left me there? Did Ben call you?" You ask putting down the box of cookies.

An odd expression crosses her face, as if she's contemplating something. "No." She hesitates again. "I saw it."

"No." Your grandmother hesitates. "I saw it."

"You saw it?" You repeat, confused.

What's going on?

"Too late of course, but I'm a little rusty. I was able to warn Ben that Darren was coming back. That's how he got there so quickly or rather-" She shrugs sheepishly. "He got there in time to make sure that Darren didn't get you to forgive him. Which you shouldn't have at all, but I know he's always had a talent for manipulating you."

"What?"

Is she saying what I think she's saying?

Instead of explaining further your grandmother walks out of the kitchen, leaving the kettle behind on the stove and you in a state of utter confusion.

Is she saying that she can see the future? Because that would mean that she's a supe and there's only one supe in history that I know of that can do that. A supe that no one has seen in over forty years.

You can hear her open the door to the closet under the stairs and the sound of her sifting through all the junk that the two of you had shoved in there over the years instead of finding the right place to put it.

When she comes back into the kitchen, she's holding a giant cardboard file box that you'd never paid attention to each time you opened the closet to find something. Your eyes shift from the box to her still not comprehending exactly what she was saying.

"I probably should have told you this a while ago, but…" She trails off and nods her head at the box before turning back to the kettle on the stove that has begun to scream. "I kept putting it off."

The box is old, worn at the edges, and theres a musty black fabric beneath a collection of yellowed photographs. You pull out the one on top to examine it.

Ben is standing there in his full Soldier Boy regalia outside of Vought tower and the woman standing next to him is Soothsayer. The outfit she wore was familiar, a black-skin tight suit with a blind fold tied over her eyes.

Soothsayer was a supe who could see the future and who was apart of Payback, a supe that had vanished a year before the mission in Nicaragua and no one knew where she went. There were rumors that she'd died and that she'd been a Russian spy, but you'd never believed them. You'd heard Butcher talk about how he tried to find her when he was trying to figure out what happened to Soldier Boy, but he never had. Said that the trail went cold.

But now you knew where she went, because she was standing directly in front of you.

She's Soothsayer? Holy fuck that's why Ben kept accusing her of cheating in the poker game because he knew that she could see the future.

"You were Soothsayer?" You gasp. "But why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me?"

She continues to measure the tea leaves. "I didn't tell anyone."

"Grandpa didn't know? But he was alive when you were a supe?"

Your grandfather had never spoken about a history with supes that you remember.

"No." She turns to look at you, a hurt expression crossing over her face for a minute. "Well, I know that I said I was going to have tea, but if we're going to talk about this I'm going to need something a little bit stronger."

Your grandmother opens a cabinet under the stove an pulls out an enormous bottle of scotch. Truth be told you'd never seen her drink more than just a glass of wine, to see her like this was about as shocking as seeing a polar bear sunning itself on a Florida beach.

"Do you still want the blueberry tea or do you need something a little stronger?" She looks back over her shoulder at you as she pulls down a glass for herself.

"I think I need something stronger." You answer honestly.

Learning about everything Darren had done was one thing, but finding out that your grandmother used to be a famous supe and that she never told you about it was another thing. It was like looking at another person. You'd always loved your grandmother's gentle way, her care for her community and her family soft, but now you weren't sure you really knew who she was.

She sits down across from you and hands you a glass of the amber colored liquid. There's a heavy silence that hangs between the two of you as she tries to find a way to start. The photo of her and Ben is laying on top of what you realize is her uniform inside the box and she smiles down at the photo, just a little twitch at the corner of her lips.

"I met Ben when I was twenty three years old." She begins taking a sip from the glass. "Legend 'discovered' me. I had the injection of Compound V maybe two years before that, not when I was born, but I hadn't gotten popular. Other powers were much more flashy and by then there were so many heroes coming out of the woodwork that someone with the ability to see the future didn't seem as marketable."

There's something reflected in her blue eyes, the same eyes your father had, that you can't place. "I had just moved to New York, I had no money, and the way I was getting it was by pretending to be a fortune teller and betting on some sports events on the side. It wasn't hard to prove that I could see the future, the past was more difficult, but Legend somehow stumbled into my shop and figured out that I was a supe. And he didn't think I was too bad looking so he helped me get big."

"You pretended to be a fortune teller?"

She snorts into her glass. "Mhmm. People really will believe anything if they're desperate enough and back then there was so much turmoil going on with Russia that people were scared and wanted to feel comforted. My job provided some of that."

"But why did you walk away from it if you were such a big hero." You ask. "Everyone knew your name, you were-"

Your grandmother raises an eyebrow at you and you fall silent so she can continue. "When I got onto Payback that's when everything exploded for me, the films, the commercials, the ridiculous ads." She sighs. "That's also when I met Ben."

You take a sip from the glass in front of you, sputtering slightly. It was stronger than you were expecting. "And you two were-"

Please don't say dating, please don't say dating, please don't say…

"Friends. Just friends." Diana sits back against the back of the breakfast nook, sinking into the navy blue pillows. "But he is almost as charming now as he was then."

You cringe at the thought of Ben coming on to a younger version of your grandmother.

She taps her glass with her index finger deep in thought. "But I think that I was the only person that Ben actually talked to, the only person that he was comfortable being around."

"What do you mean?" You ask confused. "Didn't he talk to Countess and to Legend?"

Her expression hardens at the mention of Countess's name. "He didn't talk to her the way he talked to me. Ben is difficult, he always has been and I think that most of the people he meet him write him off as this asshole with a chauvinistic look on the world, but he's not. At least, not all the time. There are so many people that he's met that are never willing to take a chance on him. To trust that there is really something beneath all of that bravado."

It was what you had been thinking for the past week, that there was more to Ben than he was willing to let people see, but you were slowly realizing that Ben was letting you see those parts. In the quiet moments at your shared apartment when he sat with you while you read or made you laugh or walked you to and from work you saw another side of Ben that you never saw when he was around anyone else. The guilt rises again when you think of how you ran from him, how you turned your back and left him standing there to clean up your mess.

I shouldn’t have done that, but it was all just so overwhelming and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"I think that Ben is the most loyal friend I ever had. No one ever seems to believe me when I say that. That we were just friends, but nothing happened between us."

"You didn't date? Or sleep together?" You ask cautiously. It was difficult to imagine Ben being friends with a woman and not having a sexual relationship with her.

Well. We're friends, but that's different.

The last thing you wanted to think about was Ben and your grandmother having sex.

I would need so much therapy after that. You sigh. Yeah, because after all the shit I've been through and found out about my life in the last twenty hours, the knowledge that Ben fucked my grandmother is what's going to push me over the edge.

"No." She shakes her head with a small smile. "About a week after I met Ben, I was running late to a movie shoot and I stepped off the crosswalk without looking. There was a car coming and I didn't see it. Ironic isn't it?" She laughs at herself. "I can see the future and I didn't see a car coming, but your grandfather did and he grabbed the back of my jacket and yanked me onto the sidewalk, saved my life. And the second my eyes locked with his I saw our future. I saw our wedding, our first house, I saw our son take his first steps and I saw how much I would love him and how much he would love me." She clears her throat for a minute, her fingers tighten on the glass, and her gaze drops to the wedding ring on her left hand. “The future is never set in stone, it’s fluid. It morphs and shapes with your decisions, but in the future I saw, I was so happy. And I didn’t want to lose that.”

Your grandfather had passed a few years ago, but you knew it weighed on her everyday. She had spent the week after he died in her room not saying anything to anyone. And sometimes she'd look out the window into the backyard with an odd expression, but you knew that meant she was thinking of him.

Growing up you'd seen how in love the two of them were, more so than your parents. Seen the flowers your grandfather always brought home just because he was thinking of her, watched him do little things around the house without being asked, saw how they never walked away angry from one another, and seen the soppy expression he'd get when he watched your grandmother move around the kitchen baking with a grace that you'd never possessed.

You reach across the table to touch her hand and she takes it gratefully.

"I didn't want to tell him that I was a supe, and at the beginning I thought I could balance it all, but then Ben started dating Countess." She takes another sip from her glass. "She hated me."

"What? Why?" You ask. The creature crawls across the table to sniff at the glass in front of you, before it snorts and falls into your lap, curling into a ball.

"Countess was a bitch." Your grandmother says mirthlessly, her expression hardening. "She wanted to possess Ben completely. Only loved how famous he was, how popular it made her, and he threw himself at her feet, in his own way, not understanding that love didn’t look that way. He’s never had a good example of it in his life. And she never understood that Ben and I were just friends. By then I had been dating your grandfather for a few months and things were getting serious. It was about a year before everything that happened in Nicaragua."

She presses her lips together as if remembering what happened to Ben there. "She was jealous, possessive, and she came to me one night. Ben was out of town for a film so she knew we wouldn’t be interrupted. She threatened to tell your grandfather who I really was and threatened to kill him.” Her jaw sets. “My powers were never really as offensive as hers were. And she said that Ben wouldn’t ever protect me over her because he loved her and would do anything to make her happy. So I left and I never looked back.”

And here I thought I couldn't hate Countess any more than I did for what she did to Ben.

“You didn’t talk to him ever again?” You wonder out loud.

She left without telling him goodbye?

“There was the occasional phone call. Sometimes Ben would ask me to see who was going to win a ball game or something so he could make a few bucks. He stopped by to say hi a few times because he was in the neighborhood. One time he brought your father a baseball glove that was way too big for a one year old.” She snorts, the memory flashing in her eyes. “I always thought Ben would be a good dad some day. But I think seeing your father was when Ben realized how much he wanted to have kids. And I think seeing the way your grandfather treated me made him start to feel conflicted about Countess. But he respected that I walked away, he saw that I was happy.”

“But what about Nicaragua?"

A dark look crosses her face followed by something that looks suspiciously like guilt. “I saw what they were going to do to him.”

“What? But why didn't you tell him what they were planning? Why didn't you-"

"I tried." She snaps, shoulders tense, but then they drop. "I called Ben, but Stan answered. By then your father was turning two, your grandfather had opened up his practice, and Stan threatened me, he knew where we were and knew everything about us. So I kept my mouth shut and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

You could feel your heart breaking for her.

Ben was her best friend and she had to sit by and watch them do that to him. She saw what they were going to do and they were going to kill her for it, kill my family for it.

The anger that surges in your chest makes the creature in your lap stir and grow a few inches, but you tamp it down before it gets bigger than a small dog.

“Does Ben know?” You ask her to distract yourself.

You didn't want Ben to hate your grandmother for this, didn't want him to hate her for something that wasn't her fault.

She nods. “Yes. I told him everything.”

“When?”

“The moment I saw him in your hospital room. I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I wasn't expecting him to be there, but it all poured out of me. I was so surprised to see him there. I hadn't seen a future where he came back."

“Was he mad?”

I mean… he didn't seem mad when I woke up, not to mention he was upset when she left to come back to Illinois.

“Not at me.” She shakes her head. “He knew how much I wanted a normal life and how much I loved your grandfather. He doesn’t blame me for any of it.”

“Good. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

The glass in front of you is still more than half-full but you don't want to risk another sip of what you're sure is gasoline packaged to look like Scotch. Your grandmother reaches to pour herself another glass.

“I didn’t want to until you were ready.”

“And when would that be?”

Your grandmother shrugs. “Maybe on my deathbed.”

You weren't angry for her not telling you, more surprised, but now that you knew everything about her it was hard to see her the same way you had.

 You snort. “And no one knew?”

“Your dad figured it out.”

“How? When?”

“The moment you made that strawberry plant grow from your high chair.” She shakes her head with a smile. “It skipped a generation. Don’t know why, but you got it all somehow.”

“I was never injected?”

“No. That was a lie your father created. He knew that your grandfather didn't know and he knew that I didn't want your grandfather to know."

“Darren thought I was.”

“I know.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you watch her expression harden and she takes another swig from the glass in front of her, not flinching as the liquid goes down her throat.

“Did you see everything that happened?” You ask in a small voice.

You still weren't 100% sure how it was her powers worked, but you figured that she was able to see some of what Darren did and what he said.

“Yes.”

“You heard everything Darren said?"

“Yes.”

You chew the inside of your cheek for a minute hoping that she didn't take it as hard as you did. “Did you know that he killed them?”

“No.” She breathes, rolling the glass between her hands for a moment. “The night they died, I got a vision a few minutes before the car ran off the road. I was the one who called the police and who told them where to look, but I never saw that it was Darren or that it was anyone causing the accident. All I saw was the three of you in the car. I should have known.” Her voice breaks.

“It’s not your fault.” You squeeze her hand.

“And it’s not yours either.” She squeezes your hand back.

The memories are beginning to float up from the recesses of your mind and your teeth clench together as you try to keep them at bay.

“I know.” You breathe. The memory of the ruined shop flashes through your head. “I didn’t know that I could do something like that.” You gently touch your healed right arm and glance at the creature that is nibbling on the edge of the cardboard box with its sharp splinter-like teeth. “I feel so different and I don’t know how to go back to the way I was.”

“I don’t think you ever will.”

"Really?"

The thought was unwelcome. You were hoping that all of this was going to blow over, but you knew it wouldn't. Your powers had changed. There was an energy that thrummed in your veins now, stretching out of the house to the plants that grew in the garden. You could feel them all if you concentrated.

She frowns. “When you told me that you were working for Butcher I was worried about you getting involved in the supe world. I didn’t want that life for you, didn’t want you to suffer the way I did-“

“Was it really that bad?"

“Not all the time, just at the end. But I think that’s why I loved your grandfather so much. Because he was different than all the supes. He was down to earth, not just normal but-“ She shrugs. “I think Compound V does something to our minds, makes them more susceptible and when you’re surrounded by people using their powers and thinking that they’re gods it’s easy to lose who you are. I was glad I left when I did."

“Great." You huff, thinking about how your powers had grown exponentially since you killed your brother. It was scaring you to think that you would reach a point where you acted like Homelander, where you saw yourself as a god and killed anyone who stood in your way.

As tired as the stereotype of you only being able to make the flowers grow, you liked doing that. You liked healing plants, tending to them, and helping them grow. For you it had never been about using your powers the way that you had to kill Elijah and your brother and had always been about spreading a little more joy and love like your grandmother did with her kindness in her community.

Your mind flashes back to the first night that Ben stayed with you in your apartment and he'd asked you why you worked for Butcher and told you that he thought you "didn't fit."

Before you hadn't. You knew that. You weren't intimidating to look at or fueled by revenge or had a bone to pick with supes. You'd joined because you thought it was the right thing to do and because you wanted to be closer with Annie. She had been so involved in the supe world and you'd felt like you were losing your best friend. When in reality being at "Please Don't Die" was the only thing that felt natural for you.

You could feel yourself changing and you weren't sure that you wanted to and you weren't sure if you were changing for the better. Deep down you still felt like you, despite everything Darren had revealed, but your powers were greater than you'd thought they could be.

“No.” She squeezes your hand pulling you out of your head. “I don’t see you losing yourself in this.”

“You’ve seen-“ Your eyes widen.

“The future yeah.” Her lips twitch up at the ends in a smile. “It is what I do.”

“That’s so weird.”

You hadn't meant to say it, but you really didn't want to know too much about your future.

Well, not all that much. Maybe just a little.

“You of all people have no right to judge what’s weird. Not with Godzilla sitting in your lap.”

"Godzilla" yawns, flashing a mouthful of his pointy teeth, before settling back down on your thighs.

You smile for the first time in twenty hours, but then it drops. “I don’t like losing control. I thought I knew who I was but now I don’t-“ The emotions were bubbling up again, chest tightening, and lungs beginning to gasp for air. “I don’t know who I am anymore or what I am or what I can do and-“

“There’s nothing wrong with not being in control.”

“But what if I hurt someone? What if I kill-“ You body shakes as you think about all the important people in your life, Annie, Hughie, Butcher, Kimiko, MM, Frenchie- and then your mind stutters on Ben.

“Your powers are growing and there’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. If you’re afraid of them it won’t get easier for you. You have to embrace the fear to see the lights that line the path through it.”

"I killed Darren, I killed Elijah-"

"Not because you lost control. You did it because you were protecting yourself and protecting your friends."

"But-"

"Who is it that you're scared of hurting? Annie?" Her expression turns sympathetic. "Annie is a supe and understands what it's like to lose control. None of us are in control all the time and it's ridiculous to believe that you won't lose control at least once."

Your throat clenches tightly, because when she asked the question you didn't see Annie's face, you saw Ben's. You knew that it was probably ridiculous to worry about hurting a guy with a nuclear reactor stuffed in his chest or a guy who'd been through every torture known to man, but you were. And you weren't entirely sure if you meant hurting him with just your powers.

Tears crest and fall down your cheeks as you sit there, throat thickening. "I don't want to hurt Ben."

"He's a little more indestructible than us sweetie." She cracks a smile, but you can't smile back and you don't answer because you're unsure how to.

She sits back against the breakfast nook and sighs, examining your face and slowly realizes what you mean. "Ben is complicated. He always has been. I like to think that most of it, is his father's fault. Has he told you anything about him?"

You shake your head.

"He was a dick. Made Ben think that he was a disappointment his whole life. I don't think that Ben has had someone love him unconditionally since his mother died. And loving Countess only made it worse for him. Her love was jealous, possessive, and I don't think that he's really come to terms with what real love should look like." She lets out a breath, tapping her index finger against the glass. "I never saw him as more than a friend, but I do love him. It's not a crime to love him."

"I don't love him." You say it immediately.

"Why not?"

"What?" You sputter. "I don't know what you're-"

"Tell me why you don't love him." Your grandma says methodically, as if she's trying to talk you through it.

"Because I-" The pressure was back in the back of your throat and you couldn't quite meet her eye. "Because-" You scramble for the answer, trying your darndest to keep your heart from clenching in your chest. "I want what you and grandpa had, what Annie and Hughie have, and what my parents had. A strong relationship with someone who sees all my flaws, the little parts, and the darkness and still choses to fall in love with me anyway. I don't want just one night I want every night. I want something real and Ben has said countless times that he-"

"So you've talked about it with Ben?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Only because he kept trying to sleep with me and I told him that I didn't want to have sex with him." You reply exasperated.

"You don't?"

"Gran!"

"What? He's attractive."

"It doesn't matter. None of it does. Because Ben has said that he doesn't have relationships, that he doesn't care about feelings, or emotions." Saying the words that Ben had told you countless times made something inside begin to shrivel up and die. "And I do. And I don't want to manipulate him into being something he's not or force him into a relationship that's doomed from the beginning. Ben is Ben. He's not changing or-"

"He has." She interrupts.

"What?"

"The Ben I saw in your hospital room is not the one I knew." She says it so matter of fact that makes it hard to breathe. "And neither was the one that I saw in your apartment when I stayed with you. I mean he is in essence Ben, but-"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"He is changing. Not completely, but he's acting differently than when he was with Countess. I mean, I saw all the things he did for her. The way he was around her."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because he loved her."

The words make your heart seize in your chest. "Ben doesn't love me. He's my roommate and my friend-" It was the same thing that you kept telling yourself on repeat to beat back the other feelings that you hadn't quite identified yet. "And he's told me that he doesn't want a relationship and that I should try to meet other people."

That last part was a lie, but you honestly didn't know where she was going with this conversation or why it was getting so hard to breathe.

"Have you thought that maybe Ben doesn't want to love you because he's scared?"

"He doesn't love me and Ben isn't afraid of anything."

"He is. It might not look the same way on him as it does on everyone else, but if you pay close enough attention you can catch it." She hesitates. "And I think if you pay attention to you, you'll see what it is that you're afraid of too."

What does she mean? What the hell am I afraid of? Ben isn't afraid of anything, he's practically shouted that from the mountaintops like Julie Andrews.

"I already told you what I'm afraid of."

"I'm not talking about you hurting someone honey. There's something else that you refuse to admit to yourself because you're scared." She smiles sadly at you. "You should though, because when you embrace it, what comes after is really beautiful." There's a far off look in her eyes and you realize that she'd seen something further ahead that she wasn't letting on.

"And it's all I want for you. To be happy." Your grandmother stands from the other side of the booth "I think you need some rest. You drove all night long and I doubt you got any sleep. And I have to package all of these before Annie's mother calls down the four horsemen of the Apocalypse on me."

"Wait-"

"Please sweetie." She lays her hand down on your arm. "I think you'll feel a little better about all of this when you've had some rest." Her fingers raise to push back some of the hair that's fallen forward into your eyes. "Hmm?"

You didn't want to rest, you wanted to talk about this, but you knew better than to argue with her. Not to mention she was right, you hadn't slept.

"And when you wake up I'll make your favorite for dinner, alright?" She smiles, but there's something behind it that you can't place.

"Okay."

And this time you don't argue with her. You go up the worn staircase that you have your entire life and collapse onto your bed, wondering exactly what it was she saw your future hold, and what it is that you won't admit to yourself.

Soldier Boy POV

There was no light in the apartment save from the burning red tip of Ben's blunt and the bluish glow emanating from the tv that caught the dips and sharp edges of his face. But it was nothing more than background noise.

His hand absentmindedly stroked along Bean's back, his eyes focused on the ceiling above the couch. He hadn't moved in hours. It had been over twenty four hours since everything that happened at the plant shop, since you'd summoned a creature from the depths of the store, since Darren had thrown Ben through the plate glass windows of the bakery, and since Ben had last seen you.

He didn't understand why you hadn't let him take you back to the apartment and why it was that you had to leave. Ben hadn't liked the feeling that stabbed him in the chest when you turned your back on him and ran away. He'd felt the urge to comfort you the way he'd watched Hughie do for Annie in the car a week ago, but you hadn't let him.

Instead all he'd done is stood there and watched you run, still covered in dust, rubble, and blood. Worse was you hadn't let him check you for injuries and Ben hated the thought that you were hurt somewhere and he didn't know where you were.

You were so much more fragile than he was. He was realizing that more every day, was acutely aware of it after everything that happened with Elijah. Honestly, sitting there in the hospital with you laying there asleep with nothing that he could do, but wait for you to wake up had been agony. Not to mention that looking at the bruises around your throat, over your eye, and the bright green cast only made him feel worse. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life and he hated it. Because Ben wasn't some helpless damsel in distress, he was a man and a man shouldn't wait on anyone or feel out of control, or at least, that's what he told himself.

Ben hears someone walk down the hallway outside the apartment and he perks up to listen, hoping that it's you finally coming home. Ben's mind stutters on the word "home." He'd lived many places in his life, apartments that felt more like way-stations, and the drafty cold mansion back in Philadelphia where he grew up, but neither felt like home. And although he hated how small your apartment was, it was the first place that Ben liked living in. He was starting to understand the word home.

But the feet keep moving past the apartment and Ben sinks into the couch cushions. Even Bean seems to be disappointed. "It's alright buddy." Ben mutters. "She'll come back."

But he wasn't sure.

Ben also wasn't used to feeling this way. It was close to the way that he felt when he went to Boston and was sitting in that damn hotel room waiting for something to happen and he still didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand why he couldn't stand it that you weren't back yet. It made him feel like a woman waiting for her husband to get home from work when he told her that he was "running late." He'd tried to distract himself by looking at some possible prospects on Tinder, but just like the week after you'd come home from the hospital and just like the date he had in Boston, no one held any appeal.

His mind was awake and roaming around, pacing back and forth. The blunt was supposed to help, but it hadn't.

His phone chirps and Ben picks it up to look at the screen, but it's not you, it's Jake.

Jake: I know that I'm not your favorite person, but thank you for what you did.

Ben huffs and turns his phone face down on the couch once more. "What a fucking pussy."

When you left Ben had realized that Jake was still inside the building and as much as he wanted race after you, he understood that you'd be even more upset if you'd killed Jake. So Ben had tromped back through the building and found him trapped beneath some rubble. Jake was okay, just unconscious, but Ben had carried him out and put him on the sidewalk before he high tailed it out of there. The last thing that he wanted was to be caught with a shredded body outside a ruined building.

I didn't do it for him. I did it for her. Ben thinks to himself, looking down at the text message.

As much as he hated the thought of saving your future boyfriend, he didn't want to see what it did to you if you found out that you killed Jake, so he'd done it to avoid watching you cry again.

Ben didn't understand why he hated watching you cry.

Women cry. They're damn emotional all the time. He tries to reason with himself taking a puff from the blunt pinched between his thumb and forefinger. And she fucking cries way too much.

The image of you crying outside of the shop in the wake of everything that happened pricks something under his ribcage. Fuck.

Ben didn't feel remorse for what happened, well, the only thing he regretted was not getting there sooner and getting to fuck Darren up himself. When Diana had called him to tell him that Darren was coming, Ben had practically ripped the apartment door off in his haste to get back to you. He hadn’t wanted to leave you at the plant shop, but Butcher had told Ben, that he had a possible location for Darren, but it came up empty and Ben had been at Butcher's apartment chewing him out for sending him on a fucking wild goose chase.

It only made Ben more angry to allow Darren to speak to you, but he was trying to let you handle it even though he wanted to handle him. But it had brought him an unholy amount of joy to throw Darren in front of that minivan and to watch that creature tear him apart while the final whitish blue pulses of electricity jumped and crackled down the street making the streetlights shower sparks everywhere.

But Ben was more upset that Darren had been able to land a few hits on you before you killed him.

Ben remembered the giant lizard that crawled out of what was left of "Please Don't Die" and felt his lips quirk up into a smile. As much as he hated the entire situation, Ben couldn't help but feel a little surge of pride at what you'd done to your brother. He'd never seen you look so powerful standing there in the street, your eyes glowing a brilliant green, arms outstretched, and the ground trembling around you as the world begged to be unleashed.

Of course he'd been just as surprised as you were at the fact that you'd healed your broken arm. He wasn't sure if you'd noticed it yet, but you looked different too. There weren't as many lines on your face and your hair was more springy, the few silver hairs that Ben had noticed in passing were no longer there.

He wasn't sure what that meant, but there was something that felt suspiciously like hope tingling in his stomach, hope that you weren't as fragile anymore and hope that it meant you wouldn't die.

When Diana had told Ben that her husband had died, he saw the pain in her eyes when she said it, saw her relieving the memory, and for some reason as soon as she said that he was dead, the first thing Ben thought about was you. Ben hadn't considered his inability to age as much in the past, hadn't cared about outliving anyone before. Seeing Countess as an older woman had made him more aware of it. Looking at the woman who he once thought he loved, had showed him what that was like. Not that he had a problem with daring older women, Ben always thought that women really did get better with age, but it was what came next that Ben wasn't fond of.

And for some reason thinking that one day he'd wake up and see the marks of age on your face or one day he'd wake up and he wouldn't be able to annoy you or hear you yell at him made his chest tight.

Ben takes another hit of his blunt. The longer he sat there the more then unnatural feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach, thrumming through his veins, the feeling that he was trying to avoid. He thought that the joint would calm him down, but he found himself jumping at every creak and footstep in the apartment building, perking up each time and hoping that it was you coming home.

He didn't know where you were. You hadn't answered any of his texts or calls and Ben was ashamed at how many times that he had tried to call you.

Get a fucking grip. He'd thought to himself when he typed out another text message to send you, stopping himself from sending it.

But he'd been so desperate to hear from you that he'd actually gone to talk to Annie who seemed upset that she couldn't get ahold of you either. When Hughie and Annie had seen how upset Ben had been, Hughie had laid his hand on Ben's arm and told him not to worry. Ben had yelled at him that he "wasn't fucking worried and to mind his own business" and had shaken off Hughie's comforting hand before stomping out of the shared apartment.

No one else seemed to be as concerned about finding you. Butcher, MM, and Frenchie were all deeply involved in trying to figure out the cover-up for what happened outside the plant shop. By some miracle no one had caught a picture of your face, but there was little they could do about Darren's body that had been strewn across the street. Annie was having to deal with the repercussions at work, trying to handle what the news was calling a "super villain threat."

Personally, Ben thought that since they froze Homelander, the Seven looked weak and Ben believed that the superhero team that represented America shouldn't look weak. Of course before Ben had also thought that they looked like a bunch of pussies and again felt himself sink deeper into the couch when he thought about what his supposed son had become.

He shakes off the feelings he has about it and his thoughts turn back inevitably to you.

Ben wasn't used to thinking about someone as much as he thought of you, but each time he settled back into the apartment and you weren't there he was hyperaware of how quiet it was.

Maybe I should call Diana. She might know where she is.

As soon as Ben thinks that, his phone begins to ring, but Ben doesn't bother to look at who it is before he answers it. 

"Hello?" Ben huffs out a breath of smoke that hangs in the air in front of his face, catching in the bluish light coming from the television.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice on the other side of the line yells at him.

"Di?"

"Yes it's me. Who did you think it was? Santa Clause?" Your grandmother snarks.

"Why are you calling me and why the fuck are you so mad? What did I do?" Ben answers slightly annoyed.

As much as you got under his skin, your grandmother had been the same way. He actually thought that it was amusing that even before he figured out that she was your grandmother that he had often compared you to her in his mind. You had the same mannerisms, the same defiant and stubborn attitude that drove Ben up the wall, and you were just as beautiful as she was.

Ben was okay with admitting that he was attracted to you. To him that felt normal, it was the other feelings that he was conflicted about, the ones that he'd never felt before stirring in his chest that made him feel "too emotional" and "woman-like."

Truthfully, Ben was sure that if your grandmother had given him a shot that maybe he would have felt that way about her too. She was the only person that Ben actually trusted in the 80's, the only person that was brave enough to call him out on all his shit. You did that now. But he liked her husband also, so Ben was content with letting her go. He liked how happy that Henry, your grandfather, had made her. He knew that she wasn't happy as a supe and seeing her so happy and in love made Ben feel something that was close to happiness.

And it was seeing the way the two of them were together made Ben wonder if what he had with Countess was the same thing. Because he did have feelings about her that were different, but each time he went to visit Diana and saw your father playing on her lap he felt that there was something missing in his life.

It was the same way that he thought something was missing when you weren't in the apartment, but Ben hadn't realized that yet.

"Because I don't understand what the hell you're doing!" Diana replies and Ben honestly doesn't know why she's angry with him.

"About what?"

"My granddaughter."

Ben sits up the blunt in his fingertips forgotten. "Is she there with you?"

"Yes." Her voice softens for a moment.

Ben relaxes and leans back onto the couch, sighing in relief. "Good.  That's good." Relief swelled in his chest when he thought about you staying with her, safe.

That's what she meant when she said that she wanted to go home. Home is with her grandmother. Ben stopped the next thought before he could go there.

The thought that home wasn't with him.

Ben was trying not to think about that or think about you hating him. He didn't think you did, well, didn't think you did anymore. At first it really was touch and go, but now he was almost eighty percent sure after you'd told him more than once that you weren't afraid of him and didn’t hate him that you sometimes wanted him around.

"No, not good."

"What do you mean? Is she okay?" Ben's grip on the phone tightens so hard that he's sure that he hears the screen cracking.

"No."

"What happened?" Ben's voice is a growl, the feelings of relief evaporating as soon as they had begun to bloom in his chest. He mentally calculated how long it would take him to get to you.

"Her entire life fucking fell apart and where are you? Not here!"

Oh. Ben relaxed a little bit.

"I don't need to be there." He says on an exhale of smoke.

"Yes you do!" Diana presses.

"No, I don't. She a big girl she doesn't need me there, she's-" Ben takes a puff from the joint.

“If you were any denser you’d be a Bundt cake Benjamin!” She says exasperated.

"What the fuck are you talking about doll? I am not-"

“Let me guess." She interrupts and Ben can imagine her tapping her foot. He hated when she did that. "You’re moping around smoking a blunt on the couch probably with a glass of something that you're hoping to numb whatever the hell it is you're feeling."

Ben's eyes shift to the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table that he hadn't touched in a few minutes.

“I’m not fucking moping and stop spying on me!” He snaps back at Diana.

He hated how well she knew him. She was his best friend in the 80's through all the shit, she had seen him at his worst and at his best too many times to count.

“I don’t have to use my powers to know what you’re doing. I know you Ben.”

"Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart.” Ben grits his teeth, temper flaring hot. “But if you know me as well as you fucking say you do then you then you know that this is-“

“You avoiding your feelings by acting aloof and brooding like a fucked up version of Mr. Darcy.” She interrupts.

She certainly hasn't changed.

“I am not avoiding-“

“She needs you here Ben.” Diana stamps her foot, the same way you do when Ben pisses you off, and Ben can hear it.

“She doesn’t need me! She said that she wanted to go home, that she didn’t want to be here with me! I tried to-“ Ben shouts back standing up. It was the exact thing that he'd been thinking for the past twenty four hours, that you didn’t need him and that you didn't want to be any where near him.

That last thought made an uncomfortable sensation prickle in his gut when he thought it, because all it did was remind him of how you acted when the two of you first met, when you didn't want him to live with you and tried your darndest to make him go away.

He didn’t want to and he wasn't sure why that was.

“Try harder.” Diana interrupts him again and frankly it was pissing him off.

Ben clenches his jaw. “I think that you’ve confused me with someone else baby.”

“Don’t you 'baby' me Benjamin! We both know that you’re doing what you always do when things get hard for you.”

“And what’s that?”

“You pretend not to care and shut out everyone who tries to care for you. Not to mention you drown yourself in drugs, booze, and women.”

“She doesn’t care about me!” He spits.

“She does!” Diana snaps back. “And believe it or not she needs you here and she wants you here.”

"But-"

"Ben please." It was the first time that he'd heard Diana sound softer and almost pleading since the conversation started. "Don't do this to her. She's worth more than Countess and all those other women you've fallen into bed with."

"Do you really think I don't know that?" He roars. The answer surprises himself. "Do you think I don't know that she's different?"

Wait what?

"If you know that, then why aren't you here?"

He hesitates.

Everything you said to him the night of the party comes roaring back. You looking beautiful in a dress that made his throat tight, and you telling him that you just wanted to be friends and that you understood that he wasn't the type of guy to have relationships. He didn't understand why it stung a bit when you said that, but it had.

Ben thinks about the week that the two of you spent together after Diana went home, when he tried his best to take care of you, distract you from everything that happened with his movies, and would sit with you and try to make you laugh. He'd never wanted to take care of someone before.

Not to mention he kind of liked the way you laughed. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, but each time you did, it made him want to laugh too. That had never happened to him before. But he wanted to make you laugh to forget everything that happened with Elijah. His fist clenches when he thinks of exactly what Elijah tried to do to you and it makes him feel so mad that he feels close to spontaneously combusting. Ben might not be the best role model when it came to women, but he couldn’t imagine the type of man who would force himself on someone else.

It had made him angry when he thought that you were suggesting that he would try something when he first moved in, because he wasn't that type of man.

Ben was trying to be better for you. He wasn't admitting that, but he really was trying to be better. He didn't understand why. You'd told him countless times that you didn’t want to be with him, that you wanted to be with someone else like Jake.

Ben frowns when he thinks about the man he'd pulled from the rubble of the shop. And again thinks to himself that you should be with someone different, someone who was a supe and could understand you. Ben had seen how difficult it was for Diana when she was keeping her supe life a secret from your grandfather and he didn't want you to have to do that with someone.

"Because I'm not-" Ben begins to say, but he holds his tongue. It was too honest, too raw, too unlike him to admit this to anyone.

Because I'm not this guy. Because I'm not the one she wants. Because I'm not some knight on a white horse. Because she's everything right with the world and I'm just a fucking asshole who sleeps on her couch.

"Ben." Diana breathes and he can practically hear her pinching the bridge of her nose. "In all the years I've known you, you've never done what you did for her with anyone else. You carried her out of that warehouse, you stayed with her in the hospital even after she woke up, you took care of her when she came home, you protected her from Darren. You can't ignore all those things."

"I'm not ignoring them. She's my friend." The word sours in his mouth as he says it. "And she would have done the same thing for me." He knew it was true.

She's a good person and she wouldn't let me chase her away if any of that shit happened to me and I told her to leave me alone.

"Yes she would. Because she cares about you." Diana sighs.

"She doesn't."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Because she's told me what she wants!" Ben shouts so loudly he can feel the room shaking. "She wants to be friends-“

"Because she doesn't think that you want a relationship you nitwit!"

"I don't." Ben spits the words before he can stop them, but as he does something tightens at the base of his throat.

"How is it that it's been forty fucking years and you're still able to dance on the grave of my last nerve?"

Ben chuckles. "I missed you too sweetheart."

She sighs into the phone again making it crackle in Ben's ear. "She needs you.” Diana repeats. “And I think you need her too.”

His temper was flaring again, the thoughts that his father pressed into him surging up before he can stop the words. “I don’t need anyone. I’m Sol-“

“If you say that you’re Soldier Boy, I’m going to reach through this phone and slap you silly.” She snaps. “And you do need her, but you’re still just too stubborn to admit it.”

“I-“

“Ben I know that everything that happened with Countess was fucked up, but my granddaughter she-“ Diana pauses before she changes the thought.  “You say that you know she’s different, but right now you’re treating her the same way you treat all those other women.”

“I’m not-“

“My granddaughter has decided you’re important to her and once that’s happened it’s hard to make her let go. You saw the way she was with Darren and that guy was a manipulative asshole. Imagine what she thinks of you.”

“I-“

“Stop making excuses!”

“You didn’t even hear what I was going to say!” Ben shouts.

“And I don’t need to! Think what you want Ben but if you’d stop acting so stubborn and so ridiculously blind to what’s right in front of you. I promise that what comes next is worth the risk.”

“Don’t go all fucking mystical on me doll.”

“And don’t go all macho- no feelings asshole on me! So stop being so damn stubborn, get on a plane and get your ass here.” She retorts. “Don’t fuck this up Benjamin because if you do I’ll fuck you up.”

The line goes dead.

Ben sat there for a minute in the silence still holding the phone up to his ear, listening to what your grandmother said to him ring around in his head for a second.

No one ever spoke to him that way. In fact, Ben had never allowed anyone to speak to him the way that she did, well, not until you came along. You reminded him so much of her that it was astounding and he wasn't going to admit that maybe it's why he liked being around you so much.

Ben frowns at what Diana said, thinking about the unusual feelings that were swirling in the pit of his stomach. He felt wrong and the feelings were odd for him. He hadn't felt anything remotely like this ever in his life, not even for Countess.

And although Ben refused to be afraid of anything, the feelings he was having scared him. He didn’t understand and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see where this ended up. He felt like he was in too deep.

As much as he wanted to go to you like Diana ordered him to, he wasn't sure that he should. Something was holding him back, digging it's heels in and refusing to budge.

But why do I feel like-

His phone rings and he doesn't look at the caller ID when he picks up, expecting it to be Diana again, yelling at him.

"Di I-"

But it's not Diana.

"Hello Ben. It's nice to hear your voice again." The familiar voice says, sounding calm and collected.

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben snarls.

 "I thought it was time the two of us had a chat.”

A/N: At this point Diana is really just trying to give both Ben and the reader the kick in the pants they need. And yes I know another cliffhanger, but you know you love it. 🤭😉 We are quickly reaching the end of this series, but that means the confession scene is coming and I am so excited about it!!

As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, likes, and comments are not required, but are always appreciated. I love hearing what y'all think! If you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series let me know. 😊

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[theagstd]

One Night Stand ; 10

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter ten ; wc | 3 k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

Jungkook's pov

It's quiet during the drive, but my mind is racing with thoughts. The impulsive part of me questions, 'What are you doing, Jungkook? Who is she to you? Why are you helping her? Stop wasting your time.' Meanwhile, my moral guide, reassures me that I'm doing the right thing by helping, supporting, and taking responsibility like a gentleman.

Unsure which voice to follow, I decide to go with my mind since I never trust my heart. As I enter my house, silence greets me, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. Bam doesn't greet me, so I assume he's asleep. As I walk to the kitchen for a glass of water, I reflect on the satisfaction of helping but remind myself to be aware of the consequences.

I'm involved in a situation that could be shameful if discovered. I can avoid being implicated, but I'm not sure if Y/n can handle it. I could be selfish if I listened to my impulses, but my rational side steps in, guiding me to follow my mind without involving emotions. 'Do your part, Jeon Jungkook, and good things will come,' I tell myself.

After placing the half-empty glass on the counter, I head upstairs for a shower and bed. My mind refuses to shut down, replaying thoughts about work, investments, Bam's appointments, my checkups, and Y/n. She's probably asleep, overthinking, or relieved, while I stare at the ceiling until exhaustion finally takes over after a couple of hours.

;

The morning sun hasn't risen yet, but I'm awake before my alarm, likely due to Bam's squeaks and whines. "Bammie," I call softly to my Doberman, who looks at me with his puppy eyes. It's yoga time. I believe in shaping my life purposefully. Waking up at 5 a.m., I don't reach for my phone first thing, and I advise others against it.

It's a waste of time. Statistics show 62% of people reach for their phones first thing in the morning, and 44% do so after snoozing their alarms. I'm proud not to be one of them. I put on my yoga pants, roll out the mat, and sit down with Bam on his own mat. He may not do yoga perfectly, but he enjoys mimicking my stretches and trying new positions. It's our routine, and he loves weekends because I'm around more. Our 5 a.m. yoga sessions are calming, especially with the quiet streets waiting for the sunrise.

I start with basic positions, taking deep breaths as I stretch. Bam follows with his dog stretches, making me chuckle at his antics. We continue until the morning sunlight fully brightens the day. "Good start, I'll prepare your breakfast, come Bam." After rolling up the mats and placing them against the yoga room wall, I head to the kitchen. I prepare Bam's meal of fully cooked chicken and beef, adhering to the saying 'breakfast should be eaten like a king.'

Bam's breakfast is a high-protein meal with his favorite meats; he absolutely hates fish and won't eat it, even if I offer it. I respect his preferences and avoid getting fish for him, as his likes and tastes are very important to me.

For myself, I prepare a full English breakfast: two fried eggs, caramelized bacon, toasted bread, and a slice of avocado toast with a cup of tea. This is my Saturday morning ritual, and I never skip it. I usually eat lightly during the week, but weekends start with a hearty meal to fuel the days ahead. As I toss the bacon onto the plate and wait for Bam's beef to boil, I put two slices of multigrain bread into the toaster and grill a slice of baguette for my avocado toast.

Once Bam's protein is fully cooked, I let it cool before cutting it into pieces. I wrap the remaining meat in foil for his dinner, place his food in his bowl, and add a well-done egg on the side. "Bam, sit!" He obediently sits in his spot, and I place the bowl in front of him. He waits for my command, "Come on, eat!" I pat his head and return to the kitchen as my toast is ready. I don't usually sit at the dining table; the emptiness bothers me, so I lean against the counter, watching Bam enjoy his meal while I eat mine.

Living in a mansion has its pros and cons. In hindsight, building such a large house seems wasteful since I barely use most of the rooms. There are about ten large rooms that have never been used. After finishing my toast, I clean the kitchen and take a shower. Weekends aren't free for me.

Running a business that's the second-best advertising agency in Seoul requires constant attention. Every decision and detail must be managed and organized by me, so weekends are never a day off, even though my employees are capable of handling things in my absence.

I look at the suit and shoes in my closet, ironed with no creases. It amuses me that people see me only as a CEO. I'm much more than that; I'm still a 28-year-old man who wears sweatshirts and pants when alone at home. But this side of me is not widely accepted. I put on the suit, button up, and apply my black vanilla-scented perfume, a gift from my ex-girlfriend. Despite disliking everything about her, this perfume is too good to discard.

Bam's caretaker arrives just in time before I leave for work at 8 a.m. as usual. Although workdays are Monday to Friday, my dedicated employees often work on Saturdays to avoid a Monday backlog. They don't ask for extra pay and work for about two hours. To my surprise, Y/n arrives at the same time as I do. She usually doesn't work weekends. Her style has changed; today, she's wearing an oversized sweater and skirt layered with a coat, her style is understandable even though the dress code is required, she's an exception due to her pregnancy.

She gives me a soft smile and a bow as our eyes meet. We take the same elevator, maintaining a polite distance. She looks refreshed this morning. We part ways when she reaches her floor, and the day progresses as usual.

Park Jimin has been quiet for weeks, a welcome change with no complaints or requests from him. It's a positive development. Mr. Jung and Y/n have lunch together, bonding well—a healthy sign. I didn't interact with Y/n today, and she left earlier than I did. As an employee, her work is outstanding. Her design skills have significantly improved, making her stand out among our graphic designers. She has a bright future, and I'm glad she chose to work at Jeon Industries.

Sundays always pass slower. Maybe it's the workaholic in me that can't bear spending a day doing anything besides work, but it is what it is. Everyone must admit that Sundays should be taken off the week. It's nothing but a waste of good 24 hours that could be used better. If I had the choice, I would have open working hours for Sunday too but my employees wouldn't like that and I respect their choices too. Hence, I sit on my couch, staring at the tv playing a rubbish movie that I don't understand one bit.

Bam rests his head on my lap as I run my hand over his short fur, giving him the comfort I neither have nor desire. Touch disgusts me. Cuddles and random kisses are nauseating, like a stain on a brand new white shirt—that's what a hug or kiss feels like.

Sex is different. Sex is just sex. Kissing during sex is merely a way to turn someone on, and touching is part of the act. But kissing and touching out of love? That's horrifying. People need to stop. Watching it gives me anxiety. A cuddle feels like a python wrapping around you, tightening until you can't breathe. I've never cuddled, and I never will.

Bam lifts his head from my lap, his loving eyes meeting mine. "Want something, Bam?" He lets out a soft whine, nudging his nose against my waist and making me laugh. "Bammie, walk time? Alright, stop—s-stop, Bam!" He finally stops when I mention the walk, sitting on the couch and waiting patiently for me to get up.

;

Author's pov

Monday unfolds like any other Monday. Jungkook remains in his office, immersed in the latest deal. You're feeling more at ease today, noting that the spotting has remained minimal, just a few red dots. You're hopeful that it's a sign of things finally slowing down and eventually stopping altogether. "Ms. Lee, I think you left this on my desk on Saturday,"

Beomgyu says, handing you a file you thought you'd misplaced at home. You thank him and quickly check to see if everything is in order. Fortunately, all the papers are intact, and you let out a deep breath of relief. Just then, Rosé rushes towards you, carrying a pile of multi-colored paper files. "Y/n, Hoseok's waiting for you at the cafeteria," she says hastily. "Thanks," you reply, smiling as she hurries off to avoid losing her balance.

Hoseok had plans to visit you this weekend, but you didn't want him to come over since you were still feeling down, making the usually cheerful Hoseok a bit gloomy. You take the elevator and meet him at the cafe. There he is, pouting and playing with his sugar cookie decorated with a little duck. You walk over to him, trying to suppress a smile. "Hi, Hoba—" "You canceled our plans? That's not fair. You didn't even dance with me at the business party last week."

Hoseok is teasing you, and you can't help but play along because he's so endearing. "I'm sorry, Hoba, how can I make it up to you?" you ask, sitting beside him. He sighs dramatically before pulling out a beautifully decorated cookie with cheesecake sugar icing. "Nothing, just have this. I made it." Your eyes widen in surprise. You knew Hoseok could bake, but seeing this adorable creation amazes you. "You made this for me? You drew this?!!"

you exclaim, examining the detailed icing. "Of course, it's my secret talent," he whispers, giggling and flashing his lovely smile. "Try it, tell me how it tastes," he urges, eyes sparkling with anticipation. You don't want to ruin the little masterpiece, but you can't resist his pleading.

"Let me take a picture first." You pull out your phone, snap a photo, and then take a bite. The cookie is soft, decadent, and filled with delicious strawberry jam. You close your eyes, savoring the taste, a smile spreading across your face. "How is it?" Hoseok whispers, anxious to know if his efforts have paid off. "Tell me!!!" "Hobi, this is the best thing I've eaten in months!" you declare, and Hoseok claps his hands in delight. Seeing your happiness fills him with satisfaction. "Give me that bag—I'm taking it home!!!!"

Packing up your things, you realize the office is once again empty, leaving only you and your CEO behind. After a dull weekend, today had gone surprisingly well. Work and lunch were great, and you felt a sense of contentment. Jungkook stands in your doorway, watching you pack up with a gentle smile. This time feels different; he's not just waiting for you to leave but seems to be genuinely enjoying the moment. "I'm done, Mr. Je—" you start,

but then pause as a strange sensation between your legs makes you frown. Jungkook notices your change in expression and mirrors your concern. "Y/n? Is everything fine?" he asks. "Yeah, I think so," you reply, but as you take another step, the sensation grows more alarming. "I think I need to use the washroom," you mumble, your words barely coherent. Jungkook, confused, watches as you drop your bag and rush towards the corridor.

He sets his bag down and follows you, stopping just outside the restroom door. You lean against the cabinet, not bothering to enter a stall. There's no one else around, and you know Jungkook won't intrude without permission. Taking a deep breath, you try to push away the negative thoughts flooding your mind.

You remove your coat, untuck your shirt, and pull your skirt down just enough to see. With closed eyes, you whisper to yourself, "Whatever it is, just not the same color. Anything but that." When you open your eyes, you see a darker splash of blood. Your chest tightens, and you struggle to breathe.

Your mind goes blank, filled only with anxiety. You grip the cabinet so tightly your knuckles turn white. "I'm bleeding, shit," you finally mutter. Everything seems to turn black, the walls closing in on you. You sink to your knees, curling up against the wall, tears streaming down your face. Jungkook hears your cries and rushes in. Seeing you on the floor, weeping and holding your visibly showing stomach, he understands the gravity of the situation. "Y/n—"

"I'm bleeding, Jungkook, please," you whisper. Though your voice is faint, he catches the urgency in it. He kneels beside you, noticing your struggle to breathe and realizing you're having an anxiety attack. He places his hands on your shoulders, feeling the tension. "Hey, look at me, Y/n! I want you to close your eyes and try to breathe," he urges.

You push him away, feeling suffocated and unable to catch your breath. "Y/n, look at me!" he yells, his eyes filled with concern. "You're alright, the baby is alright. Take a deep breath—"

"I can't—" you gasp. "Yes, you can. If you want the baby to be fine, you need to take a breath. Come on!" he insists. Crying, you follow his instructions, trying to calm down for the sake of the little one inside you. Slowly, you manage to steady your breathing. "We need to get you to the doctor. I'll take you," Jungkook says, his voice firm but gentle.

The drive to the hospital was a blur of sniffles, sobs, and tears. Jungkook didn't ask any questions; he knew you couldn't answer. You could barely breathe, let alone speak. He drove as fast as he could, hoping Dr. So Hee would still be available despite it being 7 PM. "Dr. So Hee? It's an emergency—" Jungkook began as soon as you entered the building, but the receptionist cut him off. "Sorry, sir, she's not accepting any appointments now."

"Inform her that Ms. Lee Y/n is the patient—" "Sir, it's not possible—" "God damn—" "Y/n?" Dr. So Hee appeared behind the two of you, bag in hand, ready to leave. The moment you met her eyes, you broke down. She saw the distress and immediately understood. "I'll take them. Ms. Lee, come with me." You followed Dr. So Hee, leaving Jungkook to handle the payment. Once inside her office, you took a seat, your body trembling. "What's the matter, Y/n?"

"Dr., I'm bleeding—I have no idea what happened. I was fine over the weekend, but now I'm bleeding," you said, voice shaky. "Is it spotting?" "No, it's more than that," you replied, just as Jungkook knocked and poked his head in. "May I come in?" he asked. Dr. So Hee nodded, allowing him to enter and sit beside you. "Is it more like a puddle or like a period?"

Dr. So Hee asked. "A puddle," you said, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over you. Your crying had stopped, but you kept sniffing and fidgeting.

Dr. So Hee sighed. "I can't do an examination right now, but I have a few questions. May I ask them?" You nodded. "do you have hormonal imbalance? have you dealt with it during your teens? or maybe you've smoked or are a heavy drinker?" You met her eyes, hesitant to respond with Jungkook beside you. "I was a heavy drinker and smoker for about three years. I stopped smoking, but I occasionally drink. and yes, i've dealt with hormonal imbalance, still do."

"since you were unaware of your pregnancy, did you consume alcohol?" You closed your eyes, feeling ashamed. "I did drink a few times before I knew I was pregnant." Dr. So Hee nodded while Jungkook maintained a poker face, though clearly surprised.

"I need you to visit me tomorrow at 10:30 AM. I will do a full examination. For now, don't take any pills, drink plenty of water, and stay with a parent or friend. You shouldn't be alone tonight considering your panicking state."

You nodded, and Jungkook did too. "Meet me tomorrow, Y/n, and please take care." Walking back to Jungkook's car, you stood in front of it, breathing in the open air. Jungkook hesitated but finally asked, "Are you okay?" Looking down, you felt the tears welling up again. "You think I'll be okay?" He licked his lips, unsure of what to say. "You've got someone at home, right?" When you didn't respond, he frowned. "Wait, you live alone?"

Avoiding his gaze, you felt your temper rising. "I'll do what I want." He gasped, realizing the implications. "Does your mom know about this?" Closing your eyes, you bit your inner cheek. Jungkook stepped closer, his concern turning to frustration. "What do you think you're doing with your mom knowing nothing? Do you have any idea about the consequen—"

"I'm a big girl, Jungkook. I know exactly what I'm doing, and none of it matters to you!" you snapped, meeting his eyes with a furious glare. "Does anyone know about this? Or is it just me?" "Jungkook, stop getting into my business. You helped me, thank you. That's it. I didn't ask for help, so don't involve yourself in this mess," you said, stepping closer,

the safe distance between you almost gone. "I've been in this mess since day one. Y/n, you're not doing the right thing by keeping things to yourself. You need to be with someone tonight—" "I can manage on my own!" you shouted, furious at his condescending tone. The distance between you vanished, your faces inches apart.

"You can't!" "Yes, I can!"

"That's it. You're coming with me!"

"Drink up," he muttered, holding a glass of water in front of you to help prevent further choking. Jungkook had anticipated this reaction and regretted not telling you at a more suitable time, instead of during dinner when you were devouring pizza as if you hadn't eaten in days. Once you calmed down, you glared at him, and he gulped, leaving you even more confused.

"Is this a prank?" you asked, and he rolled his eyes. "When have I ever pranked you?" "So, you're telling me I'm going with you on a business trip to France?" Your voice rose sharply in pitch and volume. Jungkook wasn't entirely confident about this decision. He had planned for you to stay home, believing nothing could go wrong.

But everything could go wrong, especially when you least expect it. You raised an eyebrow, seeking an explanation, and he nodded, prompting you to sigh. "But why?" The speed of your speech irked him, though he didn't want to show it and risk another argument. He was exhausted and needed sleep. Jungkook slurped his noodles, trying to ease the tension, but his actions only fueled your anger.

"Jungkook, I asked you, why?" "Because I can't leave you alone." "Why not?" Your rapid-fire questions left him struggling to think clearly. He needed time to form his sentences to avoid mistakes, but you weren't giving him any.

"I don't think it's safe to leave you here alone. No one around knows about your condition, and you have strict meal times. I know you'd skip meals." He spoke in one breath, and you scowled at him. "I'm trying to consider your concerns. It's hard for me to process this."

"that's up to me and It's hard for me too, alright?" Your words came out faster, laced with sarcasm, making communication even more difficult since neither of you managed your anger well. "Then take me home. It won't be hard for you anymore."

You almost stood up, but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you. Exhaling, he closed his eyes and shook his head, signaling you not to do this because he knew how hungry you were. "What?" you asked in frustration.

"Eat up." His tone was firm and authoritative. After a moment, you sat back down. His persistence in caring for you was pretty impressive, and even though it was hard to accept, you appreciated that he took responsibility for his actions. Not many men do, especially regarding pregnancy.

You sat back and stared at the now-cold pizza. He looked at it too, then at you from the corner of his eye. "Think it over. I'm not forcing you. Just let me know before Thursday." You nodded, took a bite of the pizza, and chewed thoughtfully. Jungkook felt guilty for disrupting your meal and wished he had waited until morning. 'I'm so stupid,' he thought, picking at his food before finishing it, having starved himself all day.

When he was done, he threw away the trash and drank a glass of water. He saw you crushing the pizza box after licking your fingers. 'This is unhealthy,' he thought, knowing you should have more nutritious meals. But he couldn't help but notice how much weight you had lost in the past two months.

He remembered how vibrant and cheerful you looked when he first met you—damn stress. After washing your hands, you wiped your lips and headed upstairs. "Hey, don't sleep yet. You need to take your medicines."

You nodded, climbing the stairs with Bam following, bringing a smile to your face. Jungkook felt everything was happening too fast, from learning about the pregnancy to you staying at his place. He wasn't comfortable with the sudden changes, and both of you needed time to adjust—a long time.

You felt awkward walking around, always aware that this was Jungkook's place—your boss's place. He wasn't used to having a woman in his home, so he suggested this idea, though he hadn't thought it through. On the bright side, you weren't difficult to handle. Despite frequent arguments, you were content in your own quiet world.

He went to his bedroom, checked the time, and set a reminder to give you your medicine in an hour. He took his laptop from his bag and began replying to pending emails.

"Bam, funny how we got along so well. It hasn't even been 4 days and we're friends!" you cupped his face, his eyes flapping as you held them and talked to him while he looked at your eyes with his extremely adorable pair. "Should I go with him? I don't know, isn't it weird?" you asked the dog who tilted his head, like he understands. He does this action whenever Jungkook talks to him too.

"I may be scared to stay home alone too, I won't disagree." trailing your words with a pout on your face, your eyes turned to the sound of your notifications as the phone blinked. Grabbing it you look at who texted you only to see Kayla's 56th message. You're not texting her because it's getting tougher to be in contact with her. She asks you out for parties, dinners and other events that you're not interested in and you can't really engage in that sort of activity.

It's unsafe. You don't have the courage to explain everything to her, the whole damn story. Kayla is a good friend but she's not a very close friend, you are doubtful of her reactions. Bam leaves you alone in your thought bubble, zoned out and thinking about the other people in your life. Another text popped out and you noticed that this time it was from Hoseok, the smile on your face creeped up.

[ from Hoseok ] What's up? :0

[ Y/ n ] Missing me?

[ From Hoseok ] Yes :(

[ y/n ] Oh no, bake a sugar cookie!!

Oh those sugar cookies were heaven, you think and almost salivate at the thought of them. and remembering the cutest drawings Hobi drew for you, he's the sweetest person you've ever met.

[ From Hoseok ] Who's gonna eat them? you're not here :(

[ y/n ] eat them for me you're a baby Mr Jung, I must show these texts to Mr Jeon.

[ From Hoseok ] Hey, I'm not!

[ y/n ] sure thing

[ From Hoseok ] but really, work was so dull without you

[ y/n ] I'll be back soon, okay?

[ From Hoseok ] How soon?

How soon? How am I gonna answer that question? you ask yourself, the smile on your face dropping as you leave him on seen for a few minutes to think about how you should respond to his question.

Hoseok lays on his couch, waiting in your chat until you reply to him, the pout on his face getting heavy with the minutes that pass by.

He sits upright on his sofa, staring at the screen while the television screen plays the random show of grey's anatomy that Hoseok hasn't watched ever in his life.

[ Y/n ] idkkk, soon?

your reply does not satisfy Hoseok enough, laying back on his couch he heaves a sigh as he replies to you with a :) and turns off his phone, he misses his friend a little too much. Hoseok looks at the telly and chuckles, he doesn't realise that his friend does mean a lot to him.

You place your phone on the coffee table beside you, getting on your feet and walking towards the glass door that opens to the balcony. The cold wind pulls you out, placing your hands on the railing as you look out at the clear dark blue sky, the moon having its usual soft glow but never fails to amaze you.

you're not a moon person, you're more of a sun girl, especially the sun at the beach and it's funny how you haven't been to a shore in a long time, the last time you remember was.. with your ex. you haven't been able to meet the coast the same way, it's where your ex broke up with you claiming that he's suddenly got commitment issues, so abruptly after dating you for 7 months then officially being in a relationship with you for over 3 months.

He could have at least come up with a better excuse to break up with you—maybe explain what triggered his so-called "commitment issues." But no, he chose your favorite spot in the world to drop such heartbreaking news. What a coward. You looked up at the moon, its soft glow surrounded by twinkling stars,

and all you could think about was how much you missed your mom. Her face appeared in your mind—round, pink, and full of warmth, with those dimples at the corners of her mouth that you always loved to poke with your finger. The moon reminded you so much of her face that it brought a small giggle to your lips.

There were two outdoor couches set up perfectly for stargazing, so you decided to take a seat. Stargazing wasn't something you did often, but tonight, the setting felt serene. The gentle breeze, the stillness, the way the sky glittered with golden stars blinking occasionally—it all felt so peaceful, you couldn't resist taking it in. You placed your hands on your stomach, and for the first time, you truly felt the bump beneath your palms.

It's getting more prominent now and that excites you a bit, thinking about the future. Rubbing over your shirt, you continue to stare longer as you curl up, enjoying the softness of the sofa and the coldness of the surrounding. Your apartment had no view, no balcony and no comfy chairs like the ones Jungkook owns. The longer you look at the sky, the heavier your eyelids become. It's so peaceful out here, you think.

Peace was something you hadn't felt in a long time. Since finding out about the pregnancy, everything seemed to crumble around you, so this moment felt so good, so soothing. Just as your eyes began to drift shut, a few knocks on the glass door startled you, making you flinch. You turned to see where the sound came from and spotted Jungkook standing there, curiosity etched on his face as he took in your surprised expression.

"Your pills?" he asked, his voice soft but clear. You nodded, still rubbing your eyes to wake yourself up fully, you walk inside the bedroom, locking the door. Facing him, he picks up the glass and meds that he left on the bedside table. You sit on the edge of the bed and he hands you each pills so you gulp it down with room temperature water.

It feels weird to have him babysit you like this, you want to tell him that he doesn't have to do all this but you refrain from saying so because you know that it's gonna bring up another argument, which you're not ready for. "Thank you."

you say softly once you've swallowed the 5 whole capsules, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, handing over the glass back to him. Jungkook tears his eyes from yours and brings them to your collarbones, he won't admit it but when you gulped down every sip of the water, his mind only reminded him of the way you gave head.

He's unsure why he thinks of that night, it's the horniness in him. 'Maybe I should visit the club someday,' he tells himself as he nods his head and walks out of your bedroom. You do your skincare and then slip inside the sheets, the softness of the covers brings a warm smile on your face, letting you into slumber after a few minutes

-

Morning arrives quicker than you expected. Jungkook is already up, buttoning his inner waistcoat as he heads downstairs. The aroma of breakfast fills the air, prepared by Maya. He spots you sitting on the lobby couch, looking refreshed in a sweatshirt and checkered pants, focused on your laptop with Bam curled up beside you.

He directly walks into the kitchen, taking out the morning pills that you've got taken as prescribed. Placing them on the coffee table, you look up at him and meet his eyes, looking grumpy as always in the mornings. "Take them after you have your breakfast." He turns to leave but you immediately stop him. "Jungkook-"

you see him facing you with a blank look on his face, you walk closer to him, looking around as you check on his staff, not wanting them to hear you when you ask him the next few words. He raises his eyebrow, wanting to know why exactly you stopped him from leaving the house. Licking your lips, not very sure how to say it without sounding stupid, but you've given it a thought and it's a valid contemplation.

"Wouldn't your workers find it weird if you book two tickets?" This question makes him tilt his head, not exactly understanding what you're asking him, you heave a sigh and look at the ground then around checking for the staff. "The business trip?" you whisper, he then realises what you meant and pushes his head back with a chuckle.

Slipping his hands inside his pockets, he speaks. "Don't worry about that, I have my ways." he lets you know, walking out of the house, leaving you confused. you had more questions to ask him, he just left, not giving you a few seconds to ask him more. Rolling your eyes, you sat back down and began to start working from home, online. It's no different from working in the office, just the change of place and there's no people around here. So it's rather dull and boring, especially without Hoseok and Rosè around.

Maybe even Park Jimin, his taunts and conceited words were maddening yet it was some quality drama, now here you are alone just the way it always was. Except it's Jungkook's place and it just feels more peaceful and somehow a new place to be in, so it keeps you going. Occasionally taking a break to rub and pet Bam, it helps you to be focused.

While you work on your project, Bam either sleeps beside you or has his head on your lap. You both have bonded well, it feels nice and you don't feel very lonely too, you've not only got your baby but the pup too so you're happy. More than happy.

-

Jungkook officially announced that you're working from home due to personal reasons, and that you won't be back to office for months, he didn't specify how many months because he didn't think it was important for anyone to know, besides he himself isn't aware of it, it's pregnancy so..

he's a bit clueless with the months. Hoseok, Rosè and Jimin were of course left speechless. Firstly, Hoseok was aware of this, you told him but he assumed it could be some silly joke as you like to pull his leg a bit but he didn't expect it to be official, coming from Mr Jeon's mouth.

Jimin was disappointed, he isn't gonna have anyone for the next few months to tease and taunt, he enjoyed doing it all especially with your reactions, it made him want to continue more. "Did she inform you, like the reason?" Rosè questioned Hoseok as the two of them walked back to their work space. He shaked his head, letting her know that he wasn't told about it all, not even the period of online working.

"She didn't say much, just that she wouldn't be back anytime soon. It seemed like she wasn't sure herself," he muttered to the woman beside him, who nodded in understanding. Rosé wasn't particularly close to you—you were more colleagues than friends—so she didn't mind too much. But she could clearly see the impact of the news on Hoseok's face.

It drained his bright, happy aura more than it did yesterday. Looks like she's got some very important business to handle, anyway wanna have lunch with me later?" Rosè invited him, looking for any approval on his face but he declined her offer. "Thanks Rosè, I'm skipping lunch today." She hummed as a response to his words and walked away with a pat on his shoulder, her black heels clicking on the floor which got Jimin's attention. "I could join you for lunch."

The man spoke, placing his hands inside his linen black work pants as he cocks his eyebrow, waiting for her reply. Rosè looked at his eyes, those eyes that had a haughty gaze a few days back were slightly soft, even though his straight posture and smug smile hasn't altered one bit. Rosè noticed the change in his tone even so, it wasn't patronising as it was before, he had a sense of genuineness. She heaved a breath and rolled her eyes, walking past him while saying the words, "Sure thing, Park."

This left him, licking his bottom lip, seconds later biting into it to stop himself from smiling his honest grin, he's got to put up his guard, can't possibly break down his smug character for a woman. That too, an intimidating woman like Rosè. He walked back to his workspace, to get done with his work. Pushing away the interaction he just had from his mind so he can concentrate and get this done fast.

-

"Mr Jeon, you asked for me?" Baekhyun, the executive assistant walks inside the cabin after Jeon phoned him to be up at his office. Jungkook paused his typing and looked up at the man who stood in front of him with his hands tied to the back, bowing in respect. "I need you to confirm my attendance for Mr Lim's business trip." "May I begin with the process, Mr Jeon?"

"Sure, two business seat tickets for both departure and arrival, with full board services and arrangements for the best hotel for two executive suites."Baekhyun looked uncertain, his forehead creased and he was waiting for his boss to say that he's mistaken and that he just wants one. Jungkook noticed that the man hadn't moved still so he looked up to see his face,

raising his eyebrow in gesture to ask why he's still here. "Mr Jeon, are you sure about two flight tickets and two suites?" "Of course, is there a problem, Mr Byung?" "N-no Mr Jeon. I will make the arrangements." He bowed and left the next instance, leaving Jungkook to think a bit about it. He's never travelled with a plus one, he travels alone and a few of his important staff individuals. This time he chooses to not take them except his personal assistant, Min Sana who was replaced by his previous secretary Mina.

His staff usually comes by economy class to manage travel member expenses and it's been this process for years now. But it leaves him questioning how effortlessly he spoke about booking for two, obviously making his staff to assume.

Yet he chooses to push it away, claiming that they don't have any right to question him or doubt his decisions. While checking on his investments, he receives a text message from whom he least expected.

[ From unknown ] kook, yoongi here. changed my phone number. Where do you stay now?

Jungkook immediately grabbed his phone and stared at the name that the text mentioned. "Yoongi?" whispering to himself, he was about to click on the notification so it opens up to the chat but he stops himself. Placing back the phone on his office desk and taking the time to think.

"Why would he text me now? After almost 2 years?" he asks himself but has no answer to any of his questions unless the man himself answers. Jungkook refrained from replying to his text, and decided to let the man wait just the way he made Jungkook wait for months. He then looked back at his papers,

even though his mind was a bit fuzzy after that unforeseen text message he still continues to work with his mental gears not fully in the right pace.

Just when he's signing for the agreements, his screen flickers again. He can feel himself getting huffy as he tries to ignore the notification he received, assuming it's the 30 year old man again, until he takes a glance at the name. his heart hopes it's a message from unknown but his mind says to be it from someone else and it was another person. It was you.

[ From Ms Lee ] Jungkook? I need your help Is this salt or sugar? <picture attached*>

Jungkook looks at the picture you've sent him and widens his eyes in disbelief. The longer he looks, the more baffled his face looks as he can't stop thinking how stupid you are.

[ From Jungkook ] Just taste it. Are you stupid?

[ y/n ] I'm not stupid! None of the spices are named and they look the same. It's much more stupid

Jungkook sniggers at your texts, he can't believe that you're thinking so hard about salt and sugar. He doesn't want you to ask him about these simple items, he wants you to consider the place as your home too for the moment and the next few months. You're being considerate and he's thankful that you are but he can't stop smiling at how stupid it still seems to be.

[ From Jungkook ] Why do you want it?

[ y/n ] uh... well can I use the stuff from the kitchen

[ From Jungkook ] sure

You looked at his text, 'Sure.' Appears and then you pull out the rest of the items you needed. You were in desperate need of trying caramelised bananas. The youtube short that you watched a few minutes ago, triggered your craving system and so you soon hopped off your couch to get downstairs to make the easy dessert.

However, when you walked inside his jet black kitchen that welcomed you with the hint of gold. Looking around for a while, the bananas were kept right outside in the fruit basket along with other fruits like guava, passion fruits and melon. You grabbed a bunch of yellow, ripe bananas and laid them on the counter. "Where's the sugar?" you asked yourself and opened a few doors of the cabinet, finding for the sweeteners.

The top door opened to a few of the same ceramic containers that had two seasonings, the both of them were white and it wasn't named as sugar or salt. Being a little dumb, instead of taking a bite to taste it you asked Jungkook about it. You're unsure why you were being clumsy and couldn't add more pressure to your dying brain. His replies made you roll your eyes a thousand times that you're sure, by the time you leave his place, your eyes would be stuck up in the sockets.

The process of cooking the dessert began then as you took out a small sized pan that you found inside a drawer, heating it you then melted some butter over medium heat and then added sugar. A sprinkle of cinnamon while the sugar melts with the warm butter, you slice the banana and add them into the pan, frying each side until it turns golden brown.

"You get that smell, Bam? mmm." you moaned as the aroma of the burned sugar tingles under your nose, making you more excited to try it out. Your cravings are building up, slowly, gradually and it makes you so happy that you're eating and finally acting pregnant, in a joyful way rather than sobbing about it. Placing them into a small bowl, you poke a fork into it and dump the just caramelised slices into your mouth. They were warm but you couldn't wait any longer.

Besides, it tastes the best when it's just cooked. Once done devouring it, you cleaned the pan and dishes then plopped yourself into the couch. The time showed 7;45 which means Jungkook is probably on his way home. You decided to clear the rest of your stuff in his room and arrange it all into the closet and make that room more of you, it's lovely that he gave you the most feminine room of all and let you make any changes to make you feel belonged and comfortable.

Since you arrived a few days back, you didn't feel like arranging the stuff, unsure of the whole plan but now that you've settled enough, you were super excited to add your touch in that room. Bam followed you into the room and sat on the couch while you pulled out your suitcases, you tied your shirt above your bump like it was a crop top before you began with the organising. you've been choosing your clothings from the duffel bag these few days so you took them all out and placed them inside the cream closet.

Shirts on one side, pants on one, sleepwear on another and lingerie in the drawers. "Perfect!" you whisper to yourself in happiness that it looks so organised and beautiful in the empty shelves. You also brought along a few novels and plushies that you placed on the little floating shelves while the plushies remained on the bed. The makeup pouches sat on the vanity along with the few perfumes that you own and that was all about it. You took a little twirl and admired how pleasant and adorable the room looks now.

How much you loved the colours chosen for it, the blush pink, cream and grey just combined so well, painted gorgeously and now that you've added your belongings and changed the layout of the furniture, the room looks so much like you now and even better than it ever was. Wiping off the sweat beads of your forehead you exhaled and straightened your posture. "Bam, have I done a good job?" "Of course."

you frowned as you looked at Bam seated on the couch, tilting his head. 'Bam?' you said inside your mind and then you turned around and flinched at the sight of Jungkook. "Oh shit-" placing your hand on your chest, you moved a few steps back at his sudden appearance at your doorstep.

Chuckling, you took a few breaths and looked around the room to admire it for the 20th time. Jungkook looked at you, more specifically the little bump that's on display that you totally forgot was naked with your shirt being a crop top. He frowned as he continued to stare at it, gulping at the sight of it.

Did he really do that? he thinks but his thoughts were shuffled when you looked at him, you looked down to see what he's looking at and when you realised you immediately pulled out your shirt from under your breasts.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry." whispering under your breath, Jungkook rapidly scanned the area, embarrassed at where his eyes were at. "No shit- I'm sorry." "yeah you should be, creep-" his eyebrows furrowed at word creep yet he didn't say an extra word, knowing that he was indeed being a creep so he stepped out of your room completely. "I'll be making dinner, care to join?"

"No." he rolled his eyes, his tongue clicking as he nodded his head. "Why did I even ask?" he tells himself and removes his coat, entering his bedroom to get a shower. you covered your face with your hands and groaned. "That was so awkward, Bam!"

The dog barked and ran away to his owner, leaving you all by yourself. "It's new to him too I guess." you murmured to yourself and waited until you heard his footsteps so you could help him with the cooking, you obviously joked about not joining him a while ago.

-

Jungkook walked downstairs, first putting Bam's dinner then taking out the utensils to prepare kimchi soup. It was easy and healthy. He picked up some fresh kimchi from a restaurant so he could get on with it. He loved cooking, it was his favourite activity of his day. Ever since he moved to seoul when he was 19, he lived alone in a small dorm that he shared with a few of his so called friends at that time.

He learnt different skills from each friend, one was cooking. It grew inside him and he still doesn't plan to get rid of it by having a chef at home. Jungkook glanced at the stairs when he heard footsteps. You walked into the kitchen leaning against the cabinet with crossed arms, now freshened up and standing in front of him in pink and black checkered pyjamas.

"Need some help?" he smirked and shaked his head, gesturing no but you weren't gonna just stand there and look at him while he cooks dinner for you. You've got a slightly bigger heart. "So, what's cooking?" "Soup, kimchi soup." Aw man you are not a huge fan of kimchi, you were craving for some savory crepes.

You pout, very evidently, you want him to know that you're not happy with the choice of dinner. He takes a glimpse of you and the way your already pouty, bottom heavy lips look when they are pouted, it only makes him want to- "what? Doesn't sound good?" he questioned you which you answered with a meh. "Let me lend a hand." "I can manage, Y/n. Too many cooks ruin the soup." "Heyy?" you placed your hand on your waist, offended by what he just said.

how badly he wants to pinch your cheeks! "Take a seat at the dining table, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." "Fine, I'll wash the dishes after. you can't say no, I'm willing to do it." He faced you, looking at your eyes with a glare. Jungkook didn't want you to help him, he's fine. you squint your eyes back at him and he gives up and leaves a sigh. "Alright."

you sneaked your way back to the dining table, he didn't notice the slippers you were wearing until he looked down to hear the sound of it. Then he noticed your feet inside two teddy bears. "What the fuck are those?"

he blurted out accidentally as he began to laugh like a mad man. You've never seen him laugh so hard, so hard that his eyes almost disappeared, wrinkles surrounded the sides of his eyes and his nose scrunched with his bunny smile on display. The sound of his laughs, echoes in the empty house and rang inside your ears but leaving all that, you were very deeply insulted by his belly laugh.

"Never seen sleepwear slippers in your life before, Mr Jeon? Too bad-" "Of course, I have, but is the salary I reward you not enough? Why have you murdered two bears under your feet?" He almost dropped the soup out of the pot while he laughed at your face, this angered you so you took off the damn slipper to show him that it's an actual footwear not two plushies. Walking back to him with one foot in the sleepwear and the other in your hand, you put it up on his face.

"Look! It's a slip on! It's not a plushy." He gets a grip on himself and stops laughing, the look on your face makes it more difficult for him to stop yet he does, he can't be cackling like a mad man anymore. "It's absolutely hilarious!" "Yeah, very funny. I'll surely laugh tomorrow Mr Jeon!" you throw it back on the floor and slip your foot inside, stomping your way to sit back down. He shakes his head, biting his lips to stop himself from acting like this.

Jungkook poured the soup into a bowl and placed it on the dining table, with two soup bowls, chopsticks and a soup spoon. He poured the soup for you, making sure you get enough of the kimchi, he wants you to have full healthy meals. You didn't stop giving him those looks and he ignored them as he should, the two of you slurping and munching on the kimchi filled the air. It tasted heavenly, the crepe cravings totally washed out of your mind and you were beginning to enjoy and devour the entire bowl of warm liquid.

"What did you make earlier today? There was a toasty smell when I entered." As soon as he stepped inside he was hit with an aroma of something sweet and nutty and was curious to what you prepared, he was sure that it was something sweet since you texted him about it but you left no trail of evidence of what you cooked and the curiosity was eating him. "Just caramelised bananas."

'Oh man that sounds so good.' He thinks to himself but nods to your answer, showing no special interest but his mind surely craves for it now that he knows. "Must've been salty."

you tilted your head and looked at his blank face, your eyebrows furrowed and you bit your insides. 'What does he think I am? 5?' you think to yourself. "Of course I used salt, it tasted very much like the ocean!" Muttering those words you loudly slurped on the soup, Jungkook enjoys doing this to you, he smiles and covers it up by poking the fermented cabbage into his mouth. You both spent the rest of the time having a quiet dinner, it was peaceful until it was time to do the dishes.

"Give me your bowl." "I'll wash them on my own, clean yours." "Jungkook, give them to me, I told you I'm doing the dishes." "So I'm letting you do it, go ahead." "Give me your damn bowl." Bam looked at Jungkook then at you and vice versa, quarrelling over dishes like 10 year olds, Bam has never witnessed such scenes before, this is the most sounds he's ever heard since birth. "Why are you acting like a child, Jungkook?"

"Me? I'm the child? you're the child here!" There he stands tall in front of you, holding his empty bowl above his head while you try your best to reach it. "Jungkook!" "y/n!" your face showed signs of anger, frustration and he wasn't any less. you scowled at him and then sulked. you just wanna help. he cooked dinner twice, he lets you stay at his place and takes good care of you. you wanna show your gratitude too, you can't do it by words but you can by your actions and it starts here. helping him with the dishes.

"please." Jungkook has never seen the 'puppy eyes' before, definitely not yours. you looked at him with your big amber eyes that shows innocence, he's never seen this side of you and it honestly scares him. that pout on your face as you whispered the please, did something to him. "I'm not falling for your stupid face!" he delicately presses you to the side to make way to wash his dish. you frowned telling yourself that you're never gonna help this man again, he can do his shit by himself, you don't have to be nice to him.

waddling your way towards the stairs he stops you so you turn to face him. "What now?" He shows the pills that lay on his palm with a glass of water in his hand, you took it from him and thanked him in a whisper before making your way back to the bedroom. "Pack your stuff, we're leaving for France tomorrow night." you hear him as he spoke loudly, sighing you placed the pills on the night stand and took out the suitcases that you stored away this evening.

just for two days, that's not a lot of clothes. muttering to yourself you pulled out 2 lounge sets that were just easy to wear plus they're comfortable and along with that a floral split thigh a-line dress that looked pretty for a dinner or whatever that requires you to dress a bit girly. shirts and sweatpants and done.

Honestly, if this was to happen a few months back you'll be screaming and crying over what you've got to pick or even buy clothes for but now you've got 0 intention to dress up, just being comfortable is all that matters. pregnancy is definitely changing a lot within you, it's quite evident. taking a seat on the bed, you switched off the chandelier and turned on the bed lamp beside you, throwing the pills into your mouth and washing them down with water then you leaned on the velvet upholstered blush pink bedhead.

playing with your fingers while you give everything a final thought. accompanying Jungkook to a business trip sounds invading, he's got his things to do and manage while you're tagging around him just cause you're pregnant? he's taking his responsibilities a bit too seriously at this point, he could drop you off at your place for the two days, it's not a big deal. Is it even the right thing to do? you ask yourself,

contemplating if the man is making the right decisions. Nothing feels normal, everything happens fast without a warning that makes you question everything. and besides all that, the man is annoying as hell. it's not like you're gonna share a room with him or any sort of that yet it feels weirdly wrong. no. totally wrong.

;

spoiler.

"what the fuck, Jung kook? I can't fucking breathe!" you gasp for air, struggling to get more breath while you're trapped in your seat and your chest continues to tighten. "Hey, calm down-"

"I can't!" "you're just panicking!!" "Jung kook please-"

next chapter ⇢

[thequietkid-moonie]

I don't recall if you're writing for BotW, but if so, could you do Link and Zelda in a poly relationship with a clumsy reader?

Poly relasionship with a clumsy reader

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Link & Zelda ] [ Breath of the Wild ]

Nyanya thank annooon!!! Thanks for making this request! I do write for botw and I absolutely love poly relasionship prompts soooo you have made me really happy!!

I doubted myself a little but I tries my best, I hope I made a good job and that you like it <3

Link and Zelda's relationship have being quite dificult over time, they didn't really get a along too well due personal conflicts but with time and patience they have grow to have a really stronge bond, still that doesn't mean they wouldn't be open to have a poly relasionship both know and trust the other enough to know that the feelings for are sincere

Both are quite diferent and yet so similar, they treat the relasionship with you and the other as something natural, while for Link it was a little quicker to accept his feelings than for how it was for Zelda both would talk seriously about this with each the before than doing it with you, each one is the biggest supporter of the other so at the end that would make easier things to happen

Still Zelda would be a little overwhelmed by this relasionship at the start, she passed from feeling all alone to suddenly have two people she loves and love her in return so she still need some time to ge used (and she end up pushing herself a little in an attempt to make sure non of you notice or think bad of her internal conflict), while Link has a similar feeling but for him is easier to adapt, more than overwhelmed he feels more surprised and maybe a little taken aback for anything romantic and yet for him is easier to accept it and go with the flow of things

Non of them have actual romantic experience, maybe others would like them in the past but this is the first time they are in a relasionship so both are stuck between not knowing what to do and knowing that they had to do something, Zelda is constantly pushing herself to become more physicaly affectionate but she gets easily flustered and a little uncomfortable by her own insistance, but at the end it doesn't take her much time before she relaxed at your side, while Link doesn't even know how to do it, he know in theory and it seems rather simple but when he tries to even just hug any of you he gets nervous and start doubting even if he is doing it alright

Overtime they would grow used to be in a relationship and be comfortable enough to simply let things happen naturaly without hesitantion or doubt, Link become surprisingly cuddly and affectionate while Zelda is more that reciprocating the affection when any of you start it, although whenever you end up getting hurt due being clumsy, even small injuries the usual shyness and nervousness vanish completely and they imediatly react to help you, even if they have to hold you close

Both of them are incredibly caring and protective, it isn't rare for the three of you to have trips around all Hyrule to continue Zelda's Investigation so when being in the while chores like cooking or set up the camp are always shared, non of them really mind and it actually helps to create and wholesome and intimate enviroment wich make both feel incredibly comforted, feeling like being at home, where they belongs and for what they would fight

However, whenever you are on the wild most of the time is either Zelda or Link doing the most important things to set the camp or even starting the fire, they end up keeping an eye on you due your clumbsiness, they don't try to be rude or make you feel bad but since you are in the wild they don't want to waste resources nor let you get hurt (they would apologize if they accidentally offend you but they are just too worried about your safety, they have lost too much already to let something happen to you)

Even if you know how to fight and know perfectly how to defend yourself most of the time the one leading the way on the adventures and protecting you two is Link, he is so used to fighting and since he used to be the knight of Zelda he just take it as a common thing, still he wouldn't be offended if you are the one protecting him at times (he actually feels a little flustered, but if you end up getting hurt he would feel a little guilt). Zelda also does what she can to fight when she has to, if there is a big enemy both join forces, but even when there isn't a big enemy and is just you been a little too clumsy and tripping they also join forces to try to prevent you from getting hurt (and sometimes just end up laughing about the situation in an attempt to make you see that they don't really mind having to take care of you)

Just like Zelda and Link are incredibly supportive of each other they would be for you too, non of the tried to underestimate you and actually aknowledge your strength and habilities but they try to don't take things too serious all the time, after all they have their moments where both get simply carried away by their feelings and the comfort to simply have some childish fun, so of course you will be more than safe to simply be yourself at their side without worring about being judged (the worst that can happen is being called out for making them worried or even be called adorable)

[barbs111claims]

Hi

So 2 years ago I wanted to kill myself but then I had a huge “spiritual awakening” where I say things beyond human comprehension. And from that moment I decided to give life a chance, I knew that life actually had a meaning and that was for me to discover what was beyond what I could think. It gave my so much clarity of the world around me and who I was. From that moment I also started to randomly consciously manifest things without knowing about manifesting. I’m not kidding when I say this but in that time I manifested 6 million overnight while I was just kidding about being a millionaire while listening to my rich music and then when I woke up my parents had the good news. I also manifested others things that I thought where extremely special. But I didn’t really put in effort it was just fun experimenting with my powers.

So then I decided to deepen myself in the laws. I started with law of attraction. And I ended up meditating so deeply everyday that I was so passionate about finding the ultimate truth of reality inside me, that I was extremely depersonalised from my 3D and basically lived inside my brain. I could ask things and receive answers on my questions, like the one time i asked how to invent something that could end humanity ( I still have a full doc on how to build to most effective machine that could end humanity in less than second) I also got the answer of questions about reality and my vessel. So that’s when I realised there was nothing but me. And that I was experiencing myself from the experience of myself ( if that makes sense!) I found that there really was nothing and everything at once while I was giving meaning to it. So that’s when I started with extreme anxiety and depression because I struggled so much with intrusive thoughts, not being able to ground myself in this reality and being so so scared of my thoughts. Still to this day my thoughts scare me so much that I can’t help but experience anything other than fear from myself. It’s like I’m living in a constant nightmare. I have watched so much law of assumption post and videos dedicating every second of my day on being focused and disciplined to affirming and being in the state of having what I want, but it makes me so fuckiyn angry and I don’t know why. Everytime I see a post I feel depressed because deep down I know everything but everyday I wake up in the same reality where everything fucking sucks ( I have been forcing myself to be kind self love gratitude letting go void state visualisation whatever exist I’ve done it all) and when I finally have build up that trust that everything is working out in my highest favour and I always get what I want and the 3D can’t tell me nothing yk I can delude myself into knowing I have it but it’s been over a year and I just can’t bear this reality anymore I know I’m meant for another reality and there’s just nothing for me to find here anymore. And I really don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I’m stuck in this reality where everything seems to get worse. And my thoughts are also getting worded everyday for the last year but whenever I tried manifesting a better self concept mindset etc it got worse when i don’t even want to be the person that is in conflict with themsef because that’s just a idiotic thing to do. But can you help me out?🫶

wow. Thanks for sharing your struggles I'm sure it wasn't easy.

I really want to say that we all ARE Master Manifestors. Either consciously or unconsciously. It is amazing how you found your powers earlier but also I want you to understand that there is nothing to be afraid of because "Good or bad" doesn't exist to I AM. They are just Human made concepts.

I AM is I AM.

It is being. It is the vessel that comprehends, desires and thru I AM, it gets what it want.

I would suggest you to go back meditating and just focus on the day, your thoughts and journal them and do some introspection.

Every time you have a negative thought, observe them and ask why you have that. Is it the vessel's fear or your fear? (short ans: It's your vessel's)

So as we know the creation is already done. I AM exists anywhere, It is our decision to choose what we want. I know having that power might go good or cause anxiety but the truth is that it is so freeing.

Think of the times when you manifested and the fulfilment. Feel that feeling again.

Free yourself, you aren't gonna 'manifest' anything bad to yourself truly because you are the god of your reality and god doesn't worry for being a god.

And if you still have worries, Loa is basically Law of assumptions so just assume that every time a negative thought pops, your new story manifest quicker. BE CRAZY. It's your reality<3

(btw your thoughts or your mindset getting worse are just affirmations, you can ditch the old story any moment now)

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

To expand on this as a professional Dennis woobifier myself: I think the goal of myself as well as the other Dennis fans I’ve talked to is to acknowledge and discuss the reasons WHY "bad people" do the things they do. Discussing Dennis’ traumas and how they explain why he treats people the way he does isn’t meant to be a justification or excuse for the awful ways Dennis treats people, more to highlight the fact that he’s a human being with feelings that fuel the way he behaves. I think a lot of people find comfort in the idea that rapists/abusers/"bad people" are a completely unique type of human completely different from the rest of us "normal people", when in reality they’re just as human as everyone else and they behave the ways they do for human reasons, as uncomfortable as that can be to think about. So I think talking about Dennis’ humanity and pain and struggles and seeing and acknowledging the ways in which we ourselves relate to Dennis helps to contextualize and acknowledge the reasons people are abusive in the first place and the actual ways we can curb these behaviors in ourselves and others beyond just saying "well Bad People are just Bad and nothing like us Good People". As prev said I think that is very much the point Glenn is trying to make with the character.

Dennis acts like he’s better than everyone because he hates himself. He wants to have complete control over every other person is his life because he’s terrified of being hurt the way he was as a kid. That is the whole reason they call it the cycle of abuse, which is why I think you’ll find a lot of the biggest Dennis woobifiers are themselves victims of some form of abuse. It’s not about forgiving his actions or ignoring the wrong he’s done, it’s about putting him in his full context as a complete person and the knowledge and understanding we can gain from doing that. That’s why, along with what prev said about the majority of fans seeing Dennis only as an abuser and nothing beyond that in the first place, most analysis doesn't bother disclaiming that this is all being said in the context of Dennis being an abusive person because that’s kind of baked into the premise of analyzing him at all.

And I totally get why that can be jarring if you’re not reading those posts in that context and why it can come across as justifying Dennis’ worst traits or ignoring all his bad behavior in favor of focusing on what a sad pathetic little man he is, but the truth is that abusive people are sad and pathetic and hurt and miserable, they just choose to take those feelings out on other people. But again, the fact that Dennis takes those feelings out on other people is the obvious thing that everyone already knows about him just by watching any random episode of the show, so it's not really interesting to talk about in the same way talking about his trauma or his insecurities or the fact that he does have feelings (including positive feelings) is. That's what makes him such an interesting and realistic character is all the woobie stuff underlying his actions. Again that's the whole point of him being written that way in the first place.

And don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are Dennis fans out there who do use those things to actually excuse and justify his actions, which imo would be taking the woobification too far, but it's not common even among the small circle of Dennis obsessed tumblrinas who call him our princess angel baby, at least not that I've seen. Even without any disclaimers, I've never gotten the impression that anyone is trying to say anything Dennis does is justified or moral, even when we say things like "he did think he was being helpful when he did x", there's the implied "even though he wasn't."

And back to prevs point about Charlie, I think the main difference is that there are a decent subsection of people who woobify him as an excuse for his actions rather than an explanation. Like prev said, saying he's more moral than the rest of the gang, or that he's not as manipulative or toxic as the others, is kind of missing the whole point of his character. Just like with Dennis (and like with every other member of The Gang), the point is that they're awful people who all have reasons why they do the things they do, and who all have good traits mixed in with the bad, because that's how real people work. Talking about Charlie's good traits is a fine thing to do, and talking about the way he justifies his actions to himself and others is great, calling him your precious special boy and putting animal ears on him is beautiful, but if you're taking it to the point of "Charlie is morally superior (and therefore Charlie fans are morally superior)" you've gone too far. And I'm not deep in the Charlie fandom the way I am with the Dennis one so idk how common that actually is, but just like prev said I have seen posts arguing that he actually is a Good Person who is only brought down by the gang, which I've never come across with Dennis. The Gang are all friends for a reason. There's a reason they're the only ones who can stand each other, and it's because they've all done horrible things and so they're all willing to forgive each other and keep being friends, even when they shouldn't.

Opinions on Charlie woobification? Also, do you think the fandom woobifies Dennis (too much)?

A few people have sent me asks about my thoughts on Dennis being woobified in the fandom and I’ve failed to answer them (sorry). Not for lack of interest on the subject, it’s just hard to answer. I think, though, answering this Charlie question in the same ask might make it easier to explain my thoughts on this.

When we talk about the fandom we’re generally talking about the people here, a couple hundred people on Twitter, maybe some Instagram stans(?) and tend to ignore the million (1,000,000)+ people on the subReddit and the huge chunk of people on Facebook and casual Twitter who are constantly, continually pushing a narrative that these characters have no depth, and thus their characterisation is what we see on the surface and nothing more. I think the one time it’s probably important not to ignore those people as fans of the show is when it comes to woobification.

Because at a surface level, the people who are consuming this show as a comedy and making posts that exhibit their takes/opinions on these characters to the majority of people portray the characters very simply: Charlie is an idiot and the best member of the Gang, in every sense of the word, and Dennis is a mere representation of toxic masculinity to a psychopathic degree. And those opinions are the loud majority.

So any discussion in our minority section of the fandom that woobifies Charlie or Dennis operates within and on top of the general narrative of the public perception (“face value”) of the characters. Woobification of Charlie, then, almost always further infantilises the majority of his traits to contribute to the idea that he’s not a bad guy and doesn’t deserve the position he’s in in life, while woobification of Dennis mostly works to counteract the idea that he’s a cold-blooded psychopath.

In a way, I think you have to woobify Dennis to a degree in order to properly understand his character (and Glenn makes that clear). Do some people take it too far? When it gets into the realm of genuinely somehow believing he’s not a bad person, absolutely, but in over a decade of Sunnyblr posts, I think I’ve seen that conclusion once, maybe twice. I really don’t think any post that’s diving into how Dennis' actions reflect his insecurities and trauma is ever speaking ignorant of the rest of his character, and that normally seems clear to the majority of people because rarely, if ever, does a dive into Dennis woobification cause fans to understand the character worse than they understood him at face value.

Whereas, with Charlie, you constantly do see this. Posts and threads and fights between fans arguing up and down that Charlie is better than the rest of them: he’s the smartest, actually, he means to do good, he shouldn’t be lumped in with the rest of them as sexual predators... People in this fandom genuinely argue that you are a *better person* if you’re a Charlie stan, that Charlie ships are softer, more moral, than toxic Dennis ships. The result of Charlie woobification seems to often make people less media literate about the character (and the show as a whole if we’re being real) than they would be if they just watched at face value.

They’re all morally despicable characters.

TL;DR: Due to the face value perceptions of the characters, woobification is an almost necessary tool for better exploring and understanding Dennis under his surface, while it really only exacerbates an annoying surface-level understanding of Charlie