#so then how does anxiety and self image issues play into that yknow? when youre Constantly Afraid of being wrong and also dont actually know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gibbearish · 7 months ago

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like i need yall to understand the sequence of events here was

me: haha since this section is about jokingly saying people are Absolutely Wrong about minor opinions itd be funny if i said the minor rhubarb pie opinion is wrong as a joke because i fuckin love rhubarb pie *does it* hee hee hoo hoo anyways reading onwards

book: bet u rhubarb pie lovers thought it was funny to be pointed out and were laughing along with me

me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I SURE WAS, UP TOP

so committed to being committed to a bit i just played out a bit with this book

#also raises the question of how many layers of joking can you put onto a bit before it becomes indistinguishable from an unironic statement #like. you guys will never know if it actually did happen like this or if the first part was actually meant genuinely and then when i hit #the second part i got defensive and was like 'shit make it look like a joke'#and to a certain degree neither do i #like yes i did include the (lol) from the start and genuinely was intending it to be playing along with a bit‚ tho i didnt realize the bit #would indeed play me right back #but theres also the question of like. is that what i actually think or is that me lying to myself to cover up embarassment that #i did in fact get played right back? i dont think im embarassed about that but im also embarassed by the idea that someone #else would think i didnt understand that it was a bit as well as i did or that i could in fact be wrong and theres an #extra layer of irony in all of this that puts the joke on me and I Dont Want To Be Wrong #yeah you can tell this book is already rewiring my brain a bit JEBFKSNFKSBFKDJ #and plus then its like. are these tags also part of that? am i performing a bit for myself right now? i kind of feel like i am but also #thats also how it feels to talk down unhealthy thought patterns #because like the book says like. theres no present tense of feeling wrong‚ you can only feel that you /were/ wrong #the only present feeling of wrongness is of feeling right otherwise the whole thing wouldnt be possible #so then how does anxiety and self image issues play into that yknow? when youre Constantly Afraid of being wrong and also dont actually know #who you are‚ how can talking about yourself and your feelings ever feel like anything but a lie?#idk. many things to ponder #origibberish

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