#so then I come to work feeling like a badger with a pinecone up its ass

[neothebean]

Me: I will stop complaining about work, as my friends and family have heard it all and maybe if I stop complaining I'll stop finding reasons to complain

Me, five minutes later: *foaming at the mouth because everything and everyone is so stupid and infuriating*

[elizabethemerald]

Skin like a Porcelain Doll

“Focus Claire!” Merlin snapped. 

Jim flinched at the wizard’s harsh tone and he knew Claire bit her lip on a retort. With Trollmarket constantly on the move the only times Claire was able to get time for magic lessons with Merlin was while they marched. Which created its own host of problems. 

Claire was a few yards ahead of him as he walked. She was trying to a power orb, similar to what Morgana had used during their fight with her. Apparently it was one of the most basic forms of magical attack that every wizard used, though both Morgana and Merlin used much more complex versions. 

Jim was glad Merlin had finally agreed to teach her some offensive spells, but wished he would ease of Claire before she hurt herself. Prior to this he had only taught her small spells for repairing items and cleaning things. Women’s work he had called it. Ms. Nomura had taught her everything else, including the purple flames she used and the ability to check if she was being observed. 

For the past couple of hours Merlin had been harping at Claire do to better. She had almost walked into a tree several times while trying to focus on the spell. Jim could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was defiantly trying to prove him wrong and get the spell right. He could also tell by her stumbling feet that she was exhausted. Walking and trying to perfect a complex spell were taking their toll on her. 

Nomura was a few paces behind Jim. He could hear her grinding her teeth even from that distance. He knew she wanted to but in and tell the wizard to leave her alone, because he wanted to do the same thing, and had wanted to do so for hours. The only reason neither of them had done anything yet was because Claire had ordered them not to. She was going to master this spell no matter what abuse Merlin heaped on her and heap abuse he did. 

“If you can’t even complete this simple spell I am never going to show you the more complex ones!” Merlin said. 

Jim felt a growl build up in his throat, he quelled it with difficulty. Then he spotted the impending disaster. With his better night vision he saw the tree root in Claire’s path. She had a glowing orb in her hand that she was focusing on. He bounded forward but wasn’t fast enough. Her foot got caught in a tree root and she fell hard with a cry. The orb in her hand blasted off into the sky before exploding in a shower of sparks. Jim was immediately at her side.

“You fool girl!” Merlin shouted immediately. “If any human saw that it would immediately put all of Trollmarket at risk! Now get up and try again!”

Jim looked closely at Claire, she was on the edge of tears, her mouth in a tight grimace. He tried to hold her hand, but she flinched away from his touch. She was breathing fast, too fast for it to be just from falling. 

“Come on girl, you are holding up all of the trolls, we don’t have much night left and we need to get under way.”

“Enough Merlin!” Jim growled out. “You’ve been pushing her too hard, can’t you see she’s hurt?”

“Oh and you know so much about training in magic?” Merlin sneered. “She lacks focus, that’s why she failed. She just needs to try again.”

Jim was about to argue when Nomura stepped in between them. 

“I do know something about training in magic!” She growled. “And she needs to rest, or practice without your badgering!”

“Badgering?!” Merlin said. “Is an Impure going to lecture me on magic?”

Before Merlin could say another word, Jim unleashed a wordless roar that shook the trees. He noticed his Eclipse Armor had formed around him, the blackened blade in his hand. 

“I said, enough!” Jim roared. 

He stood up to his full height, towering over the wizard. Merlin took an unconscious step back from the champion he had created. Then stepped sideways and vanished. Jim immediately turned back to Claire. Nomura was crouched down to her level, staring in her eyes.

At that moment Blinky hurried up. He had been at the head of the troll column and had been probably rushed back when he saw Claire’s flair. Jim looked from him to Claire for a second then made a snap decision. 

“Can you set up camp near here? We need to stop for the night.” Jim said. Some of the trolls would groan about it later, but near him said anything. Probably too afraid of him after his display with Merlin. Blinky nodded at once. Nomura stood up and walked past the two of them. 

“I’ll scout a safe place up ahead for us to stay for the day.” She said. Then she jumped into a near by tree and began jumping from tree to tree. The other trolls slowly followed her away. 

“Will you two be joining us?” Blinky asked. His six eyes were filled with compassion as he looked at Jim and his love. 

“I’ll find you and patrol the area in a few minutes, we need some time here.” Jim said with a small glance at Claire. Blinky nodded again and hurried after the trolls. 

When they were alone Jim knelt back down at Claire’s level. He had seen her in pain a dozen different times before, but never like this. He tried to put his hand on her arm, but she snatched it away like he had burned her. She was looking at her hands like they were foriegn objects to her. 

“Claire, what is this? Is it because of the magic?” Jim asked. Sne snorted. 

“No I’ve had this for years. It’s just way worse now.” Claire said with a grimace. “Sometimes my body just hurts. My nerves feel like they are on fire. Even the softest touch causes this ache that won’t go away.”

Tears were streaming down her face. Jim stayed silent, wishing desperately that he could hold her and take her pain away. 

“Ever since that portal in the gyre station…” She paused taking a shaky breath. “When I cast that portal it felt like my skin was breaking like I was a porcelain doll. I thought for sure my face would shatter completely. It ached for weeks after that. Even after… She was gone my body still hurt.Your mom thinks it might be fibromyalgia. I’ve tried to hide it and pretend like nothing was wrong.”

Claire ran her hands over arms while she spoke, then pressed them to her chest and rocked forward her eyes squeezed shut. 

“I’ve been so tired lately, we’ve been pushing almost nonstop for weeks. I can barely sleep during the day, and we are marching every single night. And then on top of that the spells I’m trying to learn. And the way He just won’t let me practice in peace.”

Claire’s voice faded away. Jim didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. 

“What can I do to help you?” He asked instead. Claire shook her head at first, then seemed to think for a moment. 

“I need a lot of painkillers. And when I was at home I would take a hot bath, that would help me relax.”

“I’ll raid our medical supplies. Maybe Nomura knows of some troll strength pain killers that would be safe for a human. And hey maybe she was able to find a place with a natural hot spring.”

Jim gave her a wide grin, and Claire gave him a sad one in return. Jim flicked his ear back at the sound of someone rapidly moving through the trees behind him. Nomura jumped out a tree and landed in a crouch right next to him. 

“I’ve found a small cave for the trolls. It’s not ideal but it will work for today.” She said softly, watching Claire the whole time. 

“Were you able to find a hot spring?” Jim asked. The changeling looked confused for a second before shaking her head. “Oh well. We can’t have everything right, Claire?”

Claire gave a small chuckle, then struggled to her feet. She gladly used Jim’s offered hand to help her rise, but didn’t let him touch her more than that. Jim’s heart panged as she rose. She had been fighting so hard to pretend she was ok, and now she was moving like she was decades older than she was. 

As she slowly walked through the woods, Jim and Nomura moved to flank her on either side. 

“I’m sorry He called you that, Zelda.” Claire said softly. The changeling merely flicked her ear and growled in response. 

“And I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Claire” Jim said just as softly. “I’ll tell you what, tomorrow night when we set off again, Nomura and I will find a nice deep cave, where Trollmarket can settle for a couple of days, then you and I can go into the nearest town and stay at a hotel. You can take a long bath then we can call Toby and Darci for another video date. How does that sound?”

“That sounds great.” Claire’s exhaustion was loud on her voice, but Jim could hear the sounds of the trolls settling down, they were almost there. He could see by the flicks of Nomura’s ears that she heard them too. The changeling picked up a couple of large pinecones as they walked, each as big as her fist, then leaned over to them in a conspiratorial manner. 

“And if the bastard wizard tries to give you a hard time, I’ll help you shove these up his ass!”

Jim and Nomura laughed uproariously while Claire quietly chuckled in between them.

I wrote this because I’ve been dealing with a lot of my own Fibromyalgia lately and I like to project onto my favorite characters. Sorry Claire! Also Merlin can eat a bag of dicks. 

[acashgirl]

Untitled Marvel Project: Part 8

WOOO guess who doesn’t entirely have writers block? Me! So here I am turning out the next part. Enjoy or don't, and I’ll catch you on the flippity-flop!

(First) (Previous) (Next) (Index)

   Peter began to notice subtly differences in you when you two were together. You began to open up more and be positive about yourself. Always would there be self doubt but the fear was fading. At the time he became more busy with school activities and would apologize about his inability to be with you. This gave you spare time that you hadn't entirely wanted. You'd practice your ability on small items, books, rocks, a pinecone randomly placed upon the patio, and generally you were getting the hang of it. No longer was there drastic pain along your spine but a mild buzz that'd expand and shrink; the larger the item the more intense the pain but the more you'd mess with like sizes the less discomfort you'd feel. This ability you had was so peculiar. It caused you pain yet if you stuck with it it'd decrease and become bearable. The people surrounding you did not experience this type of struggle, a mental game yes, but not physical strain to this degree. Tony would badger you to train with them and even though you were becoming more comfortable with the idea you did not want to commit. The thought of a possible slip up with everything crashing down around you would cause nightmares and horrid daydreams. Wanda would come to you and sympathize as she understood the scary thoughts, she had gone through them too and still did sometimes. She would try and distract you with happy stories or watching a movie or even begin talking to you about Peter since everyone knew that’d make you feel better. It would generally work but she wasn't him. Him being gone left a weird feeling inside you, his radiating personality you were clinging onto was dimming in memory. It’d been about two weeks since you'd last spoke to him and since you didn't have a phone communication was a bit out the window. The thought of becoming addicted to the feeling you felt would teeter between acceptable or worrisome; Peter wouldn't stick around forever since he has his own life and you were not the majority, you couldn't be. Eventually you'd have to learn to cope by yourself and this was as good a time as ever.   There had been a strange noise from below the floor traveling up through the stairs. They sounded like grunts and yells but the building didn't seem on alert. Following the noise you found yourself in an oddly familiar hallway, it was the one you ran through to escape the possessed Vision. Heading toward the double doors your hands reached out and pushed through them revealing the expansive covered hangar. In the middle of the room you saw two people flipping around and striking each other, presumably sparring. Once the sound wave of the doors opening reached them they stopped immediately and turned in your direction. One was a middle aged man with shorter hair that spiked gently upwards while the other was a younger woman, back toward you, with shoulder length fiery hair. The woman you recognized from the childrens photos, how could you forget that red hair, while the man seemed familiar but not enough for you to know. “Oh, s-sorry.” Squeaked out. “It’s quite alright,” the man stepped forward, “What’s your name?” “That’s Y/N.” The woman clearly said. “So you’re the infamous girl.” “Infamous?” “We’ve heard a bit about you.” The woman now standing along side the man. “Oh…” You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m Clint, and this is Natasha.” He motioned toward her. “Hi- sorry to interrupt what you were doing, I just heard the noise and curiosity took the better of me.” “It’s okay, we were cooling down anyway.” Natasha smirked toward you. “That was cooling down?” “What can we say, we’re professionals.” Clint laughed. “I can see that. I wish I could flip around like that, but I’m not athletic.” You let out a chuckle. “You can always learn, it’ll just take a while.” She replied. “I should probably learn other things before I learn to flip around.” “Like what?” Natasha furrowed her brow while Clint looked at you. “Trying to master my issue, once that’s done then I can add in some acro.” You smirked. Both their faces relaxed and they gently smiled. “Well good luck with that. Let us know when you want to add in some choreography.” Clint happily said. You nodded and smiled to yourself, “I’ll remember that. I’m gonna leave you two to finish cooling down, sorry about that again.” Sheepishly rubbing your arm and turning back to the doors. “Don’t worry about it,” Clint exclaimed. “Good to meet you!” Natasha finished.   You made your way back through the doors and headed back up the stairs. As the kitchen came into view you could see Vision wandering about. You hadn't spoken to him much since the incident, not because you were scared but because you felt his shame about the situation. “Vision, hi.” You smiled warmly as he turned toward you. “Oh, hello miss Y/N, how are you today?” You breathed out, “Doing well thus far, haven't hurt myself yet.” He gently smiled, “Very good to hear, wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.” “How are you Vision, really?” Taking a seat on the only stool you'd sit on. He stared into you seemingly contemplating if he wanted to be honest which you hoped he would be. “Please let me in.” Blinking toward the ground he sighed, “I am very sorry for what had happened that night, it was not me yet I was there. I was fully aware of what was happening but I was unable to prevent my actions. I've never felt so much hate in me and I never plan to again if I can stop it. These past few weeks I've been doing self reflection but I still can not determine what happened.” “Your gem, it had changed in appearance. What does it do?” “This?” He motioned to his forehead, “This is a-the mind stone.” “Mind stone?” “A being called Loki once housed it within his scepter. In his hand he was capable of controlling the minds of the unwilling. Once he was defeated it was transported to a S.H.I.E.L.D. location where it was smuggled away by sleeper agents. A man by the name of  Wolfgang von Strucker then used it for human experimentation with two survivors, Wanda and he brother.” Your brow furrowed, Wanda had a brother? “Once his lair was infiltrated the scepter was back into our hands until a being called Ultron appeared and stole it away. He was the one who built me and placed the stone upon my brow but that was for him, my body was for him. My friends got possession of my body, Thor gave me life, and now I’m here.” “Is there only one?” “Only one mind stone, but there are six stones in total, the infinity stones.” “Are they all within beings?” “No. They are spread throughout the universe if not universes. Recently though they've been appearing more and more sporadically causing for concern.” Confusion crossed your face, “Concern? Why is that?” “I do not know but it feels dangerous.” Silence crossed the room and thoughts rushed through your brain, is Vision in danger? Are they all in danger… Are we all in danger? “Does it scare you?” The confusion now crossed his face, “The thought of death or the stone itself?” You shifted awkwardly, “Either I suppose.” “I hope to understand the stone, I do not fear its power but what others would do with it as Loki had. The thought of death though… if I die I will feel no difference, I have no fear. But the death of the ones I care for, that is what causes true fear.” It was hard to hear emotional changes in Vision as he spoke similarly a majority of the time yet this was different. It sounded more sullen and raw and he was scared. And why wouldn't he be? They're basically his family and without them he'd be alone in this world. Who else would understand him like them? He appeared subtly upset now, looking toward the ground refusing eye contact. Slowly you pushed yourself away from the stool and made your way toward him. He remained in the same position either lost in his own head or uncaring of what you were doing. Closing in on his tensed body you gently placed your hand around his wrist and grasped on. Still looking down he began to relax into place and closed his eyes. “Thank you Y/N, a sense of care radiates off you.” You smiled to yourself, “I try,” quietly laughed out. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes, you could see the outside reflecting off his glossy view. Still not looking at you a small smile danced upon his lips and you softly squeezed his wrist before releasing your grip. “Vision I don’t think Wanda would appreciate you canoodling with Y/N.” Tonys face coming into view from an opposing hallway. “You have the most impeccable timing Tony.” You shot in. He smiled and Vision directed his gaze at him, “Canoodling?” “Yeah it’s when you… Well it doesn’t matter right?” “Do you even know the definition of ‘canoodling’?” Eyebrow raised. “Of course I do, I’m a genius!” “Mhm, of course.” Your smirked and walked behind Vision to pass up Tony whose head followed you. “Oh Y/N I had a question for you.” Turning on your heels you look back at him, “What?” skeptically slipped out. He smirked, “I’ve noticed you've been practicing your powers more, how about some combat?” “I don’t know-” “No pressure of course, but I believe it’d be beneficial.” Raising his eyebrows at you. “Am I going to be stopping a concrete beach ball again?” “I was thinking of a specific person, someone who’d be a challenge.” “Please tell me your not talking about yourself, I could easily slip you out of your suit.” “He is not Miss Y/N, I do believe he is unfortunately speaking of Wanda.” “Bingo!” Tony pointed a finger at Vision, “You win front row seats to the fight of the century!” “She would never agree-” “Unlike you she enjoys pushing her limits.” “So she's already agreed then.” Your eyes widened a bit as you stared past his torso. “Yup, and she's excited.” “Tony I do not believe this to be a good idea.” Vision spoke up. “Wanda won’t hurt her, she can control herself.” “I understand but it is not Y/N I am worried for.” “You think Y/N would kill Wanda?” “Practicing particlization on silverware is not the same as war weapons or a person.” “She wouldn’t particlize Wanda-” “How are you so sure?” Tony stammered something that neither of you could make out, as if he was stopping himself from confessing a secret. “I am just saying that this does not seem of a good idea.” “Wanda could handle anything thrown at her.” “Are you so sure?” “You guys remember I’m still here.” Whispered out of your near swollen throat. Vision turned his attention toward your blank face, “I do not mean to upset you Y/N I am just trying to reason with Tony. You yourself do not seem comfortable with the idea.” You blinked a few times and looked toward him, “I-I would like to try.” “You would?” Tony questioned, shock lying in his undertones. He came into your sight, “Y-yes. I want to try.” Tony looked at Vision then back at you, “Excellent!” He exclaimed. You could feel Vision staring into you but you did not face him. The discouragement he sent flowed through your body causing you to shiver and roll your head. “We’ll schedule for tomorrow, wear something you're comfortable being thrown around in.” You pulled a smile, “I only have like four items of clothing.” “Right,” He furrowed his brow, “I’ll send someone for something.” You nodded emptily, the fake smile still plastered on your face. “I have some calls to make, so I’m gonna head this way,” he pointed down a different hall, “Don’t stress to much, and get some sleep Rocky, preferably in your actual bed.” A glimpse of real joy ran through your smile and you let out a small laugh. With that he turned and walked down the darkening hallway. “Miss Y/N are you sure about this?” You sighed still looking into the darkness, “I’m not sure of anything anymore Vision.”