#so the flowers make her feel like she's powerless and helpless

[pineapple-frenzy]

Hello! If you are still taking prompts, literally anything from your flower soulmate au for Zutara 👀💜🌸

Aahhh this took quite a while but I had too many thoughts and ideas for what to draw

I went ahead and made another comic and I'm just gonna ramble for a bit qlfjlqkwqk

I think I mentioned this before, but Katara didn't like her soulmark flowers for a quite some time because they remind her too much of painful memories and her inability to protect those dear to her. So for the longest time she would pick them off her face and pretend they weren't there. It wasn't til she worked things out with Zuko that she started to accept the flowers as a part of her and she didn't feel the need to pick them anymore

[novaursa]

hii!

can you make a where dragons dare oneshot focused on reader and alicent? the other one had nothing of her and the story was originally about them so we need the ship back <3 it could be about the kids being around the driftmark episode ages and reader take alicent for a dragon ride and they have some cute date/picnic bc alicent is too stressed about something (could be the aftermath of the driftmark drama) and reader notices her harming herself at her fingers again and decided to do something. they go to a pretty place with flowers, a small river etc etc thank you in advance

-🌬️

Where Dragons Dare (Lost Chapter With Alicent)

Requests are closed!

- Summary: In the aftermath of events at Driftmark, you take your wife away from it and comfort her.

- Paring: male!reader/Alicent Hightower

- Note: This is another expansion of the story Where Dragons Dare. You can find all parts of the story on my first list that is pinned to the top. This part will be on the second list.

- Rating: Mild 13+

- Previous part: Lost Chapters

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff

The wind rushes past your ears as Dallax’s massive, dark wings slice through the sky, each powerful stroke carrying you and Alicent far from the oppressive atmosphere of Driftmark. Beneath you, the landscape stretches out—a patchwork of green fields and rocky coastlines dotted with clusters of wildflowers. The sea shimmers in the distance, the sunlight glittering off its surface like shards of glass.

You guide Dallax down toward a small clearing by the edge of a river, where wildflowers grow in abundance, their vibrant colors standing out against the lush greenery. The clearing is secluded, far from the eyes and ears of the court, and the only sounds are the soft rustle of the wind in the trees and the distant roar of the sea. It’s peaceful here, a sharp contrast to the chaos that has consumed your family in recent days.

As Dallax lands with a graceful thud, his scales shimmer under the afternoon sun, the deep black glinting like polished obsidian, his glowing green eyes watching as you dismount first. You turn to help Alicent, offering her a hand as she slides from the saddle. You feel the slight tremor in her grip, the remnants of her old fear of flying, though she has grown accustomed to it over the years. Her green dress, embroidered with gold threads, billows around her as she steadies herself on the soft grass, her eyes flitting nervously to Dallax before settling on the river that flows nearby.

“A small reprieve,” you murmur, your voice low, trying to ease the tension you see in her. “A place away from all that’s happened.”

Alicent’s smile is faint, her lips barely curling, but the strain in her expression is unmistakable. Her thoughts are elsewhere, caught in the tangled web of recent events. You can see it in the way her fingers twitch at her side, picking at the skin around her nail—a nervous habit she has developed in the wake of the stress that has overtaken her life since childhood. 

Your chest tightens at the sight. The weight of everything—the bitterness, the pain, the powerless feeling that gnaws at your heart since Viserys refused to punish Rhaenyra’s son—presses down on you. Aemond’s eye is gone, your son maimed, yet there has been no justice for it. The bitterness threatens to consume you, but you push it down. Not now. Not here.

You kneel beside her, gently placing your hand over her own, stilling her fingers. “Alicent,” you say softly, your voice barely more than a whisper. “You’re hurting yourself.”

She looks down at your hand, her brow furrowing as if only now realizing what she had been doing. Slowly, her fingers relax under your touch. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything, but you can see the turmoil in her eyes—the exhaustion, the fear, the grief for Aemond, for your family.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” she admits, her voice barely audible over the sound of the rushing river. “Everything is falling apart, and I…I feel so helpless.”

You shift closer to her, your hand remaining on hers, a grounding presence amidst the storm that swirls around you both. “You’re not helpless,” you reply, your voice firm yet gentle. “We are not helpless, Alicent. Aemond did nothing wrong. He claimed Vhagar as was his right. No one can take that from him, or from us.”

She exhales sharply, her gaze lifting to meet yours, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But he’s lost an eye because of it. And Viserys…he refuses to act. He refuses to defend our children, his grandchildren.”

Your jaw tightens at the mention of your father. His inaction stings more than you care to admit, but you can’t show that to her now. Instead, you lean closer, resting your forehead against hers, your voice low and steady. “Aemond is strong. He will rise above this. We will rise above this, together. And when the time comes, justice will be done.”

She closes her eyes at your words, as though drawing strength from them, from you. The tension in her body begins to ease, her breathing slowing as the weight of your presence offers her a moment of peace, however fleeting.

After a long silence, she pulls back slightly, her hand still in yours. “I hate feeling this way,” she confesses, her voice softer now, more vulnerable. “Like everything is out of my control. Like I’m losing everything.”

You cup her face with your free hand, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “You haven’t lost me,” you say firmly, your gaze locking with hers. “We may not have control over what others do, but we have each other. And that is something they can never take from us.”

Her eyes search yours, as if looking for some reassurance, some promise that things will get better. And though you can’t promise her that the days ahead will be easier, you can promise her this—your unwavering support, your love.

“I needed to hear that,” she whispers, her voice cracking slightly. She leans into your touch, resting her cheek against your palm.

You smile softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Then you’ll hear it as many times as you need.”

For a moment, the weight of the world falls away, and it’s just the two of you in this quiet clearing, the sound of the river and the distant sea a comforting hum in the background. You sit with her on the blanket you had brought, sharing a simple meal, your fingers occasionally brushing hers as you pass her bread or fruit. It’s a small thing, this picnic, but it’s enough to remind you both of what truly matters.

You watch her as the afternoon sun casts a golden glow across her face, softening the lines of worry that have creased her brow for so long. She looks at peace, if only for a moment, and you find yourself wishing you could keep her in this moment forever—away from the court, away from the bitterness and the bloodshed.

But for now, this is enough. This moment, here with her, is enough.

[cleave-and-plough]

YOU SON OF A BITCH

what a warped episode, huh? the black rose arc seems to come to a close, the whole thing seemingly orchestrated by akio, using anthy as a false mamiya. some questions are answered, but many more are raised as nemuro dissipates and akio solidifies his place as the power behind the scenes.

down to the final black rose and unable to find a way to defeat utena head on, souji redoubles his efforts to recruit her into the seminar, unromantically confessing to feelings for her and posing himself as a savior - someone with the genius and resources to help her and her friends out of any trouble. utena considers; she's usually able to get herself out of any scrapes, but there is someone dear to her who seems powerless. dreaming of her time in the coffin after her parents' death, utena wakes in a dim room, the tv playing static, anthy's hand entwined in hers. a transference occurs in this ghostly, liminal space - utena recognizing her past helplessness in anthy and that sometimes outside help is needed.

meanwhile, souji experiences his own transposition, seeing utena as tokiko and substituting her in utena's place. it's an uncanny moment that foreshadows the strangeness to come. as the end approaches, he coldly dismisses his secretary, who notably resembles tokiko, and her comment that she can "finally let her hair down" seems pointedly loaded. untethering himself from his worldly connections, he floats between the present and the past over an unending banquet table, remembering how he refused the lab boys' duel challenges once his work had finished. mamiya appears at his bedside, bringing flowers as if to a funeral, and questions his opening of the arena and castle. knowledge of the arena's existence seems to instill the academics with the belief that eternity will be attainable by the champion duelist. suddenly, mamiya changes tone. "don't you want the power to revolutionize the world?.... i want... eternity."

until now, it had seemed mamiya was reluctant to be preserved like the roses in tokiko's garden, but his strong words now spur souji into action. in the memorial hall, as utena beholds the portraits of the black rose duelists, he confesses to her yet again, this time as both the architect of the black rose and tokiko's would-be lover. but, he argues, utena and the other black rose duelists aren't so different, are they? at their core, they are bound to their most precious memories, have based their lives upon them, and are willing to fight for them. and fight utena will, punching souji and pinning him to the ground for daring to equate them. he smiles, acknowledging her memories must be very precious indeed. he's not entirely wrong, which is what angers utena, but he does seem to make a key misapprehension - utena doesn't wish to live in the past, she looks towards the future. her childhood experience of pain and salvation is something that she draws strength from, but it isn't something she wants to eternalize. nevertheless, she can't allow souji to continue his schemes, which have threatened her friends and endangered anthy, so she formally challenges him to bring an end to all this.

collapsed in the elevator, souji has a vision of the past, extending his funeral-like air from earlier into something like his dying words. visited by mamiya's spirit, he accepts that dueling utena is his last hope, as she is closest to the power of dios. and yet, there is some relief in this desperation, as he feels he has been reunited with tokiko - perhaps, to die by her sword is its own kind of eternity. somehow, the spirit of mamiya hands him the final black rose, allowing him to call forth a sword that looks strikingly like the sword of dios.

the duel begins amid a sea of photographs of tokiko and mamiya. souji continues his psychological warfare, drawing parallels between himself and utena and claiming that their lives were both changed by a special person in their past. this, he says, is why they can enter the arena - their lives are built on an elusive memory. utena rejects his comparisons as mere manipulation, and souji begins to falter more and more. his shoulder wound ails him, he slashes the photo, and, most damningly, he fails to realize anthy's deceit in the duel's final moments. hearing "mamiya's" voice in the arena, he becomes lucid for a scant few seconds before his rose is severed, his last sight the true image of mamiya.

akio takes a phone call. calmly, he reveals everything to souji. nemuro's regrets over tokiko froze him in time, and mamiya passed away long ago. akio used this to some advantage, but no longer. "the path you must take is not prepared for you. now graduate from this place." and with that, just as all the black rose duelists lost their memories of the black rose, so too does ohtori lose its memory of professor nemuro. the hall he had rebuilt in his memories lies derelict and forgotten. "he was never really here," akio says, sounding very like the end of the world. "just like you." anthy turns to face him, smiling.

reflecting on nemuro's last moments and his life of regret, i thought of the lyrics to "komm, süsser tod” from end of evangelion:

i wish that i could turn back time 'cause now the guilt is all mine can't live without the trust from those you love i know we can't forget the past you can't forget love and pride because of that, it's killing me inside

...

i'll never love again my world is ending

stray thoughts:

during the duel, souji's style seems to mimic past duelists' techniques, just as the black rose duelists' imitated those of their swords' sources. i noted saionji's sweeping horizontal slash and juri's footwork - i'm sure there are other connections to be made.

the silhouettes depict a father missing the golden days of his youth, which have been replaced by the challenges of adult life. to recapture that glory, he attempts to re-enter high school, just as nemuro reinvented himself as the student mikage souji to remain at ohtori.

the use of the word "graduate" seems significant, extending the metaphor of the school as purgatory, and begs the question of what (adult) life outside the school is like. the staff don't seem to be a viable source of information, and the only visitors have either been transfer students or tokiko herself (and nemuro, at first). perhaps kanae, hoping to advance in life, realized that akio would always be "in school" and misdirected her frustration towards anthy.

i look forward to learning more about the nature of the school and how the saga of nemuro aided akio's plans, especially given that utena doesn't seem to remember the experience - what role will the black rose come to serve in all this?

[nasy-tarot]

Intuitive Reading for the Eclipse 18/09/2024

This reading is specifically for the oncoming Full Moon Eclipse that happens on 18/09/2024 <3

Choose whichever photo you are most drawn to 1 to 4~

Group 1

During this Eclipse, I see you purging a lot of ‘mess’ - stories others told about you that you took as truth and let it shape your view of yourself, narratives you consumed that didn’t help your growth, what I see mostly is family and home life-related memories that start coming up to the surface. I hear “you are ready to be uprooted and repotted into different soil”. There is a lot of grief for childhood you wished to have but never had, and how your parents treated you that shaped you as a person. There is a lot of purging in your heart chakra, I see a person laying on the bed face down crying and letting a scream out - whatever helps you let go of your past, group 1, do it. I also see some old woman sitting besides you on the bed holding your hand while you purge, she looks at you with sweet compassion. This could be a grandma or a female ancestor (feels more like someone closer to you, grandmother or great grandmother), she wants to let you know you are not alone. She is also holding some pink dry flower in her hand like rose or lily as if she is giving it to you and saying “don’t ever let your light go out”.

I also see you as a person standing in the garden and around you are many stones, some of them are turned and some are unturned. I hear you saying ‘no stone will be left unturned’ and ‘no weed will be left unpulled’. Spirit is saying that even your determination is commendable, take your time to rest as it is an act of self-love and we all need love to exist and live (You were made with love, you begin with love and will return to love once your journey here on Earth is ‘exuded’). Turning stones also makes me feel that you have been looking for something, a treasure or a part of yourself that you feel will make you happy. Spirit is saying you have been looking in all the wrong places and the true happiness lies in you, in your inner child who is just happy to be here every day and just happy to exist and embrace new opportunities as they come, without the anxiety of the future or a fear of not having enough. You are being called to be the support you need, strengthening your body and spirit every day and create a safe space where your inner child’s spirit won’t be questioned or judged.

Writing down all things you were told as a child that took a toll on you and burning them in a fire and letting the ashes get carried away by the wind could be very healing at this time (be sure to only light anything up in a well-ventilated space). Fire gazing is also a practice you are being called to attend to.

I also heard oil pulling so this could be a good time for you to practice that self-care ritual and any others, especially in regards to your nails, teeth and bones. Also there is something about vinegar that Spirit didn’t elaborate on but drinking apple cider vinegar has health benefits so it’s advised to look into it. Walking barefoot, burying your feet in the soil where it is safe would be also a great experience for you to have at this time. Spirit is saying that magic is everywhere, and even if you have hard time seeing it at this time, you will see it later. You are a Magician at heart, willing to create your own destiny, and Spirit is saying to not forget how unique and magical you are at your core.

In terms of gemstones garnet, ruby, yellow jasper and jade are your strength stones, they will help you root yourself into the current reality. Dark red colour is your color of support and empowerment, and in terms of food choose foods that were planted in the soil (carrots, beetroot etc). If you are feeling helpless and powerless at this time, Spirit is calling you to balance your life so that you have moments of being in the present, having sensory experiences that bring you to the present, as easy as touching your favourite scarf, fallen leaves and the bark of the trees. By the end of the month I see your energy getting lighter, so be the support you need right now and remember that Spirit is on your side.

Group 2

Honestly, I see you having the most fun during the Eclipse (other groups could be struggling a bit). There is a dormant wild rebel energy that you might hide inside on a daily “because it’s inconvenient to others”. You might be scared to embody that powerful Scorpionic energy because it scares or triggers people who are not very deep within themselves thus your core void-like energy makes them feel threatened. In this period however I see you reopening ‘old wounds’ and letting your true self out to play. This energy feels like raw feminine energy with all of its dark and light aspects. I see a funny imagery of this part of yourself being a crow locked in the cage amongst other people’s selves also being locked in little cages and all of those selves are also represented by different animals like dogs, cats, birds etc. As soon as Eclipse energy hits all cages open and lots of other people selves run towards their owners and start biting and being aggressive towards them and I see a lot of people fighting with their selves trying to stop them and part of your self is just happily running towards you and embracing your hug. Part of why you feel familiar with this dark energy is because you are a very ancient soul and you probably was a mediator between worlds of living and the dead in other lifetimes, possibly a shaman or a sage. Your signs could also be Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Capricorn, Pisces or Libra.

Rutilated quartz is your gemstone for this period as it It helps with concentration and memory, clears the aura, and balances the chakras. It can also relieve anxiety, ease depression, and promote self-discipline. This time is beautiful for great manifestations, big projects and anything that intimidated you before but you really wanted to do it. This Eclipse gives you an acceleration point and a ton of energy to jumpstart and finish anything you are willing to do. I see your energy being centrifuged in a vortex and a lot of old hurt and wounds could be coming up; among them I also see your energy as water-like and I see light hitting certain hidden parts of you, you could be discovering new talents/gifts at this time; you are also being called on nurturing your feminine energy, take things easy and if any negative emotions come up to the surface of your consciousness, relax and allow them to float up so you can let them go. Your ancestors and Ascended masters highly around you at this time, helping you to keep your head above the water and not get lost in the chaos. You are doing great. Lastly, you could see a dog on the street that could be a message bearer at this time or see a man that could catch your eye and help you realise certain things at this time (I see a dark haired man with pale skin hiding his face under black hood wearing all black).

Group 3

Something has run its course in your life, group 3, especially in regards to your body and your self-esteem. I see you carrying burdens of others on your shoulders, carrying a weight of the world on yourself, and it is your kind nature that wants to help and nurture, but it feels like at some point you have lost control of what energy you take on and what you say no to. I see throat chakra blockage and you not being able to say no. I also see that you just accepted your role of a giver and there is a feeling of fatality in your current situation. You possibly feel like there are people relying on you and you cannot let go of the burdens you have taken on yourself. I also see family trauma that has been poured into you and poisoned the way you perceive your very own body, your reality, your fate and destiny. I see the image of Ten Of Wands and I also see you carrying different old items on your back, some of them are broken, passed to you in order to be fixed, some of them are just incredibly heavy, varying in size. I see Spirit standing behind you acknowledging all of the weight you are carrying and saying that there are maybe 3-4 items that belong to you and the rest are made-up projections of other people.

I see a visual of you standing on a small rock in the middle of a water stream holding all the baggage on your back and suddenly water starts rising. You have the choice of dropping the dead weight and jumping to the other side or drowning and Spirit is saying that you will jump. This can be painful as you are letting go of old belief and setting yourself free from the exhausting victim mindset you have carried for years. Fei are surrounding you during this time, lifting the veil of your old perception of yourself so that you can see yourself clearer, apart from your service to others and your occupation. I heavily get messages that this is related to your body as well, your body is tired, and you are called at this period of time to take care of yourself as you would for a small helpless child. Taking a hot bath with salts and essential oils ( putting clearing crystals is optional but Spirit is saying clear and rose quartz are good for you at this time), getting a massage, especially your shoulders, getting in a sauna or simply putting essential oils of mint, lavender or rose on your pillow to improve sleep quality is a good enough start of your journey of self-discovery as it should always start with your body and soul.

I’m also hearing jubilee very strongly so someone significant for you could be celebrating their birthday soon or there is something significant to be celebrated (I’m hearing what’s celebrated is you ‘coming home’ aka coming back to yourself).

Turquoise, star jasper, manganese and yellow amber are your supporting and revitalising gemstones for this period. Juniper and bay leaf are great for clearing your space and manifesting. There is also a message of you making your space as cozy for you as possible as if being in a virtual space, physical space etc. I see warm yellow light surrounding you just being in your own space, embracing feminine energy of self-love and nurturing. When you shine your light inside out just because you have enough you will end up pulling right people and opportunities into your life.

Group 4

Your energy is quite similar to group 1 yet it’s a little different. You could be feeling the veil between realities thinning on intuitive level, yet on a 3D scale you feel grief and confusion. Could be because of some kind of loss which I am so sorry for, and it feels like your Higher Self wants to talk to you and communicate to you and shake you up a little at this moment of time. You could be feeling stagnation and lack of direction right now and your Higher self is coming to you through dreams, signs and synchronicities to call you to your Divine purpose. They are not here to judge or scold, Your Higher Self is reaching out in compassion (to call you out on your bs Spirit is saying XD). You have free will of denying or accepting what your Higher Self has to say but from now on it will be harder and harder for you to deny that you have to leave the past behind and roll in this new era of you. You may feel like the world is going way too fast and you are being left behind but Spirit wants you to shift your focus from the outside to what you are holding yourself back on, emotionally and physically.

You may have been yearning for a concrete answer to your prayer or a question that has been worrying you recently and the answer is ‘very much in the middle of your heart and your mind’ Spirit is saying, while also saying that you can always receive the true authentic answer to your question if you quiet your mind and listen to your heart. Phrase “anxiety screams, intuition whispers” fits your energy at this point of time. Kali Maa is also coming through as a guide for you at this time so don’t be afraid to ask her help you clear out all things in the past that you don’t need to hold onto anymore. I also see you being contacted by water spirits in your sleep, nymphs and fei and I see them bringing you gifts (I see mostly food and drinks from the other realms) to energise you and prepare you for this next chapter. Your Angels are also very close to you right now, pray to them on a daily and ask for any kind of help and they will help you, you might see white flashes of light in the corner of your eye as a confirmation. Right now it’s important to prioritise rest, both mental and physical, and bring in the movement for your body - for most of you it’s yoga and pilates, that can strengthen and help your body get relaxed to be coaxed in this new energy. Also eating clean would be another good aspect of changing your routine; I hear Spirit saying ‘you are what you eat’. Drinking lots of water and spending time by the water if it’s in nature or in the shower is highly beneficial for your growth. Some of you also need more sunlight (I see you as plants at home being dehydrated and not having enough sunlight). If you are doing all things below, you are doing amazing, keep going <3

I see a visual of a damp and you sitting on the dry side looking for scraps to satisfy your thirst and I see people passing by throwing crumbs and trash to your feet and you willingly accept it as you think there is nothing else that can nourish you in any way. And then I see damp starting to crack and water flows in all at once. All the people and trash gets washed away; only you remain. This is a start of a new cycle of growth for you; make a vision board, write your manifestations on the New Moon and burn them on the Waning Moon, get in the harmony with the cycle of the moon because I see you are very sensitive soul and are very sensitive to planetary changes. Spirit is saying ‘this is the end of the times when you had to beg for your happiness; it is time to get up and create your own happiness with your own hands’. I also see a tall white blistering spirit, deity or an ancestor dressed in long white dress surrounded by other smaller deities covered in white veils covering their faces and hands, I see her coming up to you and covering you with the same white veil and saying ‘you are one of us. Let’s go’. She is taking your hand and walking in white abyss that looks like a huge ballroom of some kind. The message of the spirit for this period is

You have always been worthy. You have always been one of us. You have always had the Light, just after people continuously took it from you, it’s easy to say you have forgotten why you had it. You had it for you. You had it to serve others, not for others to try to blow it out. Winners don’t quit so won’t you give up (it’s a quote from “After the storm” by Kali Uchis and Tyler, The Creator). Your gemstones are Fairy Stone, ammonite, Opalite and blue jasper.

~~~

Thank you so much for reading and I’m sending you much love, power and healing in this period. <3

[nia-cin]

Colossal Loss

I knew I'd lose you this year. It was an anticipated loss - you, my parent, who have been battling this illness for 15 years would finally be able to rest. You will fade away and I will be powerless in it's inevitability.

When I stopped medications all of a sudden last year, the thought of you dying pushed me back to relapse faster than the thought of my traumatic ex could. The dam broke and I felt overwhelmed with my dread and the repressed feelings of the past 2 months. I couldn't navigate the thought of you dying.

In the past 15 years, we formed this complex dynamic: you are my father but you could not, completely, become one to me. We seemed more friends than kin and we got to a point where it felt awkward calling you Papa. The very beginning of my adolescent years, it was already laid out to me that things in my life were no longer going to be the same. Before I could even grasp the concept of a complete family, the rug slipped under me. All I could do in the last 15 years was adapt and make no mistake, I did not make it easy because after all, none of you made it easy too.

I complained A LOT! Kids my age didn't think about taking care of their parents' daily needs like eating, pooping, dressing, bathing, or walking, but I did. Kids my age don't get random texts during the day being told to go home early because there is no other caretaker in the house. Kids my age don't need to think of what to cook the next day and what time to wake up to feed their father before they go to school.

I disagreed a lot about things when people tried to correct the way I felt and thought about my family. I felt guilty about a lot of things. I felt powerless about a lot of things. I always carried my guilt, my anger, and my helplessness with me everywhere I went. If I wanted to be a "good person", I had to be this or that or do this or that - to my father, especially.

It didn't help that guilt-tripping became my mother's way to get me to agree to things. Her words, how she molded them as if it was my father said them to me, made me hate her, the house, and my family. It pushed me to get away from home. It's enough: haven't I done enough? Out of the 3 children you have, wasn't it I who gave my years away while they enjoyed their lives numbing their guilt and growing their pride? Wasn't it I who helped you when nobody came to visit, to call, to help, to comfort? Wasn't it I who kept pushing for better equipments, better bed, better food, better medications?

I was not the eldest. Not the adult. But I gave a shit. More than anyone. Even when I, too, needed to be tended.

It was I who was the quickest to forgive even when they had more time to have him as a father than I ever did. It was I who accepted this better even when resources went scarce and I didn't enjoy the same privileges they had when they were my age.

It's all been unfair for all of us, but I can say it was very unfair to me.

Yet, it still broke me when he left. Whatever we had as father and daughter was very small but it was all that I could keep. People who visited him told so many stories about their wonderful and enjoyable time together. How joyful. How sentimental. I wish I could tell them something but all I have is different versions of the sick you in the last 15 years: Narding who kept calling me every night to reposition him from chair to chair, Narding who would time his demands at the very minute I'm set to leave the house, Narding who would pester me with the wifi, Narding who just really couldn't let go of the damn PC, Narding who always craved for sweets, Narding who would slip me money on my birthdays and when I cry at night, or Narding who would give me money to buy my mother a Mother's day cake or flowers.

He did his best to be there for me. And provide for me. And God, sometimes he did his best to piss me off too. People might say I shouldn't be angry or pissed off at my father because he's sick but I knew him and his antics. And his tendencies and habits. There were moments when I felt he was inconsiderate to me and there were moments when I felt guilt for not being more patient.

If he's free from all the torment, I am happy to see him off. He doesn't need to look back or look after me. I never did know if he ever regrets not being there or for doing the things he did. I don't think I need to know. We had what we had and we did the best with what we had and what we knew.

It's over. There will be what ifs and maybes - but I know you'll understand me. You know me. You already saw me grow up unhinged as fuck anyways. And now you'll see me navigate the fuck out of this too.

But your seat will be warmer, comfortable, and cozy now. You will never have to think of your back or your bones. You never have to shuffle your pillows or position your sore legs. Your head doesn't need to be dipped low and you can watch all the TV and Netflix you want. No more of those episodes.

That's all that matters.

Go forth now, be free.

I forgive you, my colossal loss.

[imagine-lcorp]

Between Two Lungs (One Shot)

A/N: Hello dears, so here it is the infamous fic I’ve been writing. I really hope this fullfils my dream of crushing your hearts once again and that you have a fun time agonizing over this final choice. Because yes, I’ve made this a multiending fic...As always, remember to tell me what you think, is it something you want me to keep doing for other fics? Also, how did you feel after this? pls let me know. Also i made this PLAYLIST if you want to add some feeling to this while reading... Enjoy! 

Lena Luthor x R/Hanahaki AU//Word Count: 3,464

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It is possible to die of a broken heart.

You look it up somewhere in the internet. It's similar to a heart attack, caused by a very strong and emotionally stressful event. The death of a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal. It's treatable and rarely fatal. Following the recommendations of your doctor, you can make a full recovery within weeks. Still, it is possible to die of it.

You don't have a broken heart. You wish you had one. Because love, the one only you feel, is growing inside of you and it is much worse than that.

Thankfully, compared to others your condition it's not as painful as it could be.

You have heard about people with roses inside them, how their thorns puncture their pharynges with every breath they take. Others don't get flowers. They get apple or cherry trees with their fruits pouring juice inside their lungs and out of their mouths. Some others have pines and spruces, with cones constricting their organs and rib-cages until they bones break.

So you look at the small white petal that lays in your hand and think that, in your case, it is something almost magnanimous.

Plumerias have no thorns and, even though some can be a bit thick, their branches are soft enough to bend around your heart and lungs without much trouble. Their petals, small and delicate, rise easily up your throat without lacerating it in a coughing fit.

Maybe, you want to think in a very optimist way, if you can keep that love from growing further, you won't have to suffer through it.

Maybe.

So you prescribe for your own heart solitude and abstinence.

The first one is the easiest.

You tell your friends you are sick and need some time to recover. Most of them get worried as they don't know yet what illness has fallen upon you in these troublesome times.

"You know, If you wanted, I could get you a full medical examination." Alex offers with a raised eyebrow, giving you the look of the always concerned big sister.

"Thanks, but it's alright." You assure them with a smile. "I was thinking about spending some time at home anyway."

After a lot of questions you manage to dodge in the end, they decide there's no reason to doubt your intentions. So they leave you to your own devices.

Homemade remedies, or herbicides depending on who you ask, seem to help as you spend your days at home. Drinking some salt water with lemon in the morning, or a couple of vinegar tablespoons in a cup of tea before going to bed. They don't taste that bad once you get used to the flavor and these help you ease the new bitterness that you taste in the back of your throat.

The second is a bit harder.

You have to stop yourself from dreaming her, thinking her, missing her.

She has texted you a few times already, wanting to know how you're doing and offering her help if you don't feel like you're doing okay on your own. You handle it as best as you can. You text back, consistently enough and with measured time and words, so you don't raise any red flags. When you don't seem to answer she calls, but just thinking about hearing her voice makes your chest hurt a little.

You never answer. She doesn't try to call again. You spit your first handful of flowers after that.

It's all fine, you lie to yourself, at least until the pain reaches your insides and white petals come out of you mouth dappled in red.

"You need to tell her." Kara says softly as she pats your back after another coughing fit.

You cover your mouth with your hand, making sure there are no signs of blood or petals as you tight it into a fist. "Tell who what?"

"Tell Lena about the flowers." She sighs when she fells you freeze under her touch. "Sorry. Alex told me if I could get a clear shot at your lungs maybe we could figure out how to help. I didn't expect it to be... well, flowers."

It shouldn't come as a surprise to you but you are still amazed at how easy it is to forget Kara has x-ray vision when she's not wearing her suit. With or without it, she's still the same caring and protective person you have always known. It also explains why she has been so adamant about having lunch together, at least once a week, after your failed attempt at convincing her you were doing well after a month alone. You couldn't expect less from your best friend, you remind yourself as you catch your breath.

"How do you know it's her?" The taste is bitter as you swallow the rest of blood and petals in your mouth.

"It's plumerias, isn't it?" She rubs your back again as you regain you posture. "They are her favorites."

There are a couple of red tainted petals in your palm when you open your hand. "Yeah, they are."  

Kara looks at you and you see something in her you don't think you have ever seen before in the Girl of Steel. But you recognize it, because you feel the same way. Hopeless. Helpless. Powerless.

"(Y/N)." She says like she's already grieving. "It's spreading fast."

The easiest way to get ride of the disease is by removing its seed from your heart, the doctor says. No more than an hour in the operating room and your respiratory system would be as good as new. Common symptoms after the surgery can include aches between your shoulder blades, ribs, back of the neck or chest, weakness and hoarseness in your voice, and, in general, some memory loss and the inability to experiment intense or deep affection towards another person. Most of these stop shortly after you recover, except for the last one.

More experimental methods have been developed with the help of biotherapy. Experts in Japan are said to have reduced the spread of the flowers with other plants like kudzu or barberry, while someone in Europe has been using thrips to eat the plant and control its growth. It's like using maggots to eat your wounds, the doctor explains more enthusiastic than you feel.

You could, of course, try the simplest of things and confess your love.

It only takes to be loved in return for you to heal before any permanent damage is done. The seed that grows in your heart will almost instantly wither, the cough will purge the last of the flowers out of your lungs, and your recovery will last only a couple of weeks. You will breathe again.

But, if your love goes unrequited, you'll reach your fatal end in a matter of days. Doctors will give you a double dose of morphine or induce a coma trying to ease your pain. Flowers, fruits and cones bloom, branches and thorns grow. You convulse and gasp until your last breath when the biggest flowers come out of your mouth. All until your thorax is transformed, beautifully and violently, into a garden of flesh and blood.

Anyone who has seen it happen will tell you, how shocking it is to witness such a thing.

Whatever the case, this only serves to confirm what you already know. You can't be optimistic anymore.

You're dying and you will die, soon with flowers in your lungs or after many years with a loveless heart. Because this life and death of yours, you think, cannot be, shall not be, decided by a coin in the air.

And yet.

"It's flowers...in my lungs." You can almost tell which direction the flower stalks take inside your chest as the words form in your mouth.

"Oh." Lena says as she starts to fidget with her hands.

The anger, that had been growing inside her after weeks of vague replies and evasions, vanishes in her eyes the moment she understands what you're going through.

"Have you...talked to the other person?"

"No, not really. Not yet." You try not to lose your composure as you feel the flowers threatening to rise up your throat.  

"Will you?" She asks.

You take a deep breath, feeling the gravity pull your already heavy heart down. "It's plumerias."

"Plumerias?" You can see the moment it dawns on Lena, and the look she gives you makes you wish again you could die of a broken heart instead.

"Miss Luthor, I'm sorry but the board meeting will start shortly."    

Jess opens the door a second later and it gives you time to look at the other side and place your hand in your chest. As if that could possibly stop your heart and lungs from collapsing.

"Thank you, Jess. I'll be there." Lena dismisses her with a nod and looks again at you.

She doesn't say anything else and you feel a coughing fit building in your lungs. Stronger than you have ever felt it.

"(Y/N)!" She leaves her chair, running towards you.

You cover your mouth as your chest feels like a boxer is using it as a punching bag. I doesn't feel like it will end quick and when it finally does the only thing that remains is pain.

You thank the chair that holds you in place as you catch your breath.  

"I'm fine. It's fine." You don't want her to see it, but she manages to catch a glimpse of the bloody petals that cover your palm once you recover.

"No, it's not, (Y/N). You're dying and I-"

"It's not your fault." You cut her off, shaking your head and taking a little napkin from you pocket to clean yourself as best as you can.

The death, the break, the betrayal. You feel it all as worry and pity finally merge in her eyes. There's also guilt when she looks at you. It is there along with everything else she doesn't feel for you. So you don't want an apology, especially not from her, especially not like this.  

"You're my friend and I just- I wanted you to know. I got my surgery already programmed."

"Surgery?" You watch her draw back a bit in surprise.

"I'll be fine." You lie again.

"(Y/N), I-"                            

"Miss Luthor, the board-"

"I know!" Lena snaps and, when she realizes the magnitude of her reaction, she retracts, taking a deep breath for herself before answering. "Sorry, yes. Do you think you could hold it for a minute?"

"You should go." You say with a small voice before any of them can say more. "The meeting, sounds important."

"(Y/N)..." The way she pronounces your name makes you want to be over with this already. You just can't stand it anymore.

"We'll talk later." You say. "We got time."

She wants to argue, you know, but you won't, can't, do it. Still, you pull a little smile for her.

"We'll talk later." She replies with a nod.

There will be time for another conversation. There will be time. There will be time. There will be time. You repeat it like a mantra to help you carry yourself out of her office.

Everything else after that passes like a blur.

You know you reach the front door of the building, with the voice of the receptionist behind your back offering to call for help. You stumble on the sidewalk trying to hold onto light poles and signposts to keep yourself from falling. You clutch your hand in your chest as the pain reaches its peak. Flowers come pouring out of your mouth and you gasp for air as you finally fall.

You're delirious by the time you land on the hospital bed.

Many faces come and go then, doctors, nurses, friends, ghosts, both the living and the death. The only constants are your dying gasps and the painful beating of your heart until the morphine does its work. It helps you see, with certain clarity the only face that can make a difference.

"You listen to me, alright? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier." You open your heavy lids at the sound of her voice, and you see those emerald eyes for what could be the last time. "I love you, (Y/N), please, I love you."

You hear her words, or you don't, or it is simply to late to care anymore. The coin is in the air and there's no more time.

***

☞ You let yourself drift into darkness as the plumerias are pulled to a better light. The garden is gone and what is left behind is only an empty carcass. You cannot stand the emptiness and your heart does what it should have done from the beginning. It breaks and breaks and breaks...

***

☞ Your mind tries to grasp her words but you find your heart too weak to keep a hold of them. So you let them pass through like a shadow. No need for them anymore as the anesthesia and the scalpel give you a break from all this suffering. There will be no flowers and it is, truly, not as bad as it could be...

***

☞ Her words suddenly hit you in their full meaning and your mind does its best to keep and save them into your heart. Even through branches and petals, it has the effect of an echo chamber, repeating those words like a healing prayer. I love you. I love you. I love you...

[nohrenvia]

Angelica Spade

Picture by: @dadchiss / @papel-origami

Profile:

Name: Angelica Spade

Age: 18

Birthday: 17 December 1982

Place of Birth: England

Gender: Female, She/Her

Sexual Orientation: Demisexual

Blood Type: B

Hair color: Dark Brown

Eye color: Pale Blue

Personality:

| Moody | Sincere | Empathetic | Impatient | Open-Minded |

Likes: Flowers, watching the sky at dawn and twilight, rain, tea, designer perfume, her aunt and cousin. Claude Monet's drawings.

Dislikes: People who disregards human lives, pigeons, eggplant, spicy food, bugs, horror movies.

Fears: Dying in a painful way, ending up in hell.

Habits: Biting her nails when she's anxious.

Favorite Food: Carbonara, calzone

Favorite Movie: La Vita è Bella (Life is Beautiful)

Other Information:

Hobbies: Arranging flowers

Abilities: Reconnaissance, bilingual.

Occupation: Passione Soldatessa | Passione Secretary

Relatives:

Julia London (aunt)

Luna London (cousin)

Quotes:

"God is so cruel, he gave me a tender heart."

"You said everyone is at your mercy, right? That's why I'm going to leave you here, at the mercy of everyone."

"Right now, Trish's life is in danger. No one would help her. I know exactly how she feels, helpless and powerless. If we don't lend a hand, then who will?"

"I'm scared. I don't want to die. But, I'll swallow my fear and face you head on if it means the others can live to see tomorrow. That is my resolve!"

STAND

Name: 「La Vie en Rose」

Ability: True Illusion

The user can create illusions so powerful they outweigh reality. It can induce illusions into others and themselves, and freely shift the phenomenon from illusion to reality and back at any moment. They can change people, places, locations, rooms, events, etc. bring anything forth out of nowhere, make anything vanish without a trace, and turns anything it touches into illusions. However, excessive use runs a high risk of the user or subject losing track of reality, and gradually falling into madness. Therefore the usage is limited to 3 hours.

[hwauas]

🕊️: "the lost prince", 4

park seonghwa | 박성화 - 2,880 words

you frowned at the sudden reaction from your mom. it was very curious to you. and you suddenly remembered the gaze the two policemen gave each other when you mentioned that same thing.

you were so confused about this whole situation.

     you thought you were living a pure nightmare: everybody seemed to know everything but you, and you were powerless to this ignorance from you. your boyfriend was in a hospital, you were trying to find his real family to soothe their pain from the loss, and give Seonghwa all his answers, but everybody was throwing a spanner in your works

     everybody around you seemed to know something, and no one ever told you anything. this was very overwhelming to you. bad feelings started to grow up inside of you: distress, anger, helplessness, uselessness.

     “mom, what's happening? who is fleur-de-lis? what did fleur-de-lis leave? why would fleur-de-lis be back? i'm so done with everybody hiding things from me! i'm just trying to resolve my boyfriend's problem, to try and find his family. why is everybody being so focused on this fleur-de-lis thing!”

you started to walk around. you pushed back your hair while walking, and took a deep breath to try and call down a little. the whole situation was getting on your nerves already, and it was just the beginning of your case.

     “did Seonghwa tell you something about this?”

she was pale, as if she just saw a ghost. her tone was contrasting a lot with yours. the room held a mix of two opposites: the hot and the cold. your anger and her shock.

     “no. nothing. listen mom, you stay here. i'll do it on my own, alone. if you need something, just call me.”

as you were about to leave, your mom grabbed your wrist.

     “y/n. if you want some informations about fleur-de-lis, you should meet this old lady you talked to a lot, running the library. she'll help you way better than me to answer your quetions.”

     you left your place right after, just nodding. you were too angry to think straight at this moment.

     besides the fact it seemed to be more complicated than you thought, everybody seemed to hide something from you. if they knew why did Seonghwa's "mom" called him this way, and if they knew something about fleur-de-lis and its meaning, wouldn't it be easier for you to find his family? instead, they were all shocked yet quiet.

     on your way to the library, you were thinking about what could this lady say to you about fleur-de-lis. would she answer your questions? tell you a lot more about it? about the meaning?

the fruit you were eating while walking seemed tasteless compared to the bitter sensation of others knowing something about fleur-de-lis but you, and compared to your anger — slowly fading away. the last shades of anger within you was because of the necessity to run across the city to have answers.

     but a whole mystery was planning over Seonghwa and his whole family, and you had to resolve first this fleur-de-lis enigma.

     when you reached the library, less angry, you found the lady you were looking for at the back of the shop, reading an old book — you could tell it was an old book because of the yellowish pages.

you slowly approached her with a little smile. she looked up at you as soon as she saw you coming closer.

     “my child! it's been a long time! how are you doing? you're stunning. you know that?”

you smiled at her cute behaviour. it was very heartwarming to see her being this welcoming to you. it was soothing your anger.

     “i'm doing good. don't worry about me. and you?”

     “i'm good. old but strong, you know?”

she giggled, showing off she was just making fun of herself. you always liked her self-mockery.

“what brings you here today? are you looking for new books? you already finished the ones i recommended you?”

     “no, i didn't finish them yet. but i'm reading them, don't worry!”

you sat besides her, on an empty chair. you were looking at her with the tiniest smile ever, yet with bright eyes.

“no, i'm coming for something else.”

     “tell me.”

she put her book on the little desk, and turned over to face you.

     “do you know anything about.. 'fleur-de-lis' ? my mom told me i could ask you for informations about.. this.”

the old lady seemed to be surprised. was 'fleur-de-lis' a taboo? something no one can talk about? why did everything act like it was very important?

     “fleur-de-lis is a quite sad story.. years ago, the Queen gave birth to a lovely son. their only son. he was the King's heir apparent. all the country absolutely loved the nation's prince. he was adorable. his parents were loving him so much, treasuring him.”

the old lady glanced over a vase with flowers in it.

“they never revealed their son's name. they always called him fleur-de-lis. even there, in the castle. only his parents know his real name.”

     “sorry mama but...”

you frowned at this information. it increased your curiosity.

“why did they were calling the prince fleur-de-lis? i mean, i can understand they wanted to keep his name a secret, but then.. why did they choose this?”

     “this flower especially represents the royalty. the power, the glory, and the success as a King or a Queen.”

you nodded to show her you understood this point.

“but this peace the kingdom knew didn't last. the little prince was 1. 13 months, to be exact. when the Queen and the King woke up, their son was nowhere to be seen. they immediately started to look for him all around the land. everybody were looking after this little boy. but no one ever found him. the kingdom's ray of sun disappeared, and took the happiness with him. everybody forgot him as fleur-de-lis. now, he is called 'the lost prince'.”

     you stayed quiet. you never heard about this history. neither him as fleur-de-lis nor him as the lost prince. you didn't even know the Queen and the King had once a son. was it this hurtful for them? in a way, it was showing how close to him the whole country was.

     “why are you asking me this?”

     “because... i had to call for the emergency department yesterday for my boyfriend. since then, he can't leave because the person he called mom all his life is an impostor. i'm looking for his family. i talked a little with her after we discovered the truth and the last thing she said is 'take care of fleur-de-lis'.”

     the old lady was, again shocked. but this time, you understood why.

everything was clearer to you. why did the policemen looked at each other this way, why did your mom became so pale. if this person wasn't lying, you were dating the lost prince.

     but the problem wasn't resolved. how to prove that? how to say that to him? how will he react? were you really able to solve this problem now?

     “i see... thank you mama. i'll solve this problem. i promise. i'll give my boyfriend back to his family. and if he is the lost prince... i'd be the happiest if i could give back this kingdom their lost prince.”

     “y/n! wait! please... what is... his name?”

      you stopped moving when she called you. and with a little smile:

“he is fleur-de-lis, the lost prince.”

     you winked, and walked out of her shop.

     you felt bad for hiding this from her. she helped you a lot figuring out about this problem. and she helped you solve a huge part of the problem. but you couldn't betray Her Highness and His Highness and reveal his name — if he really was the lost prince. you had to respect their choice. and you weren't even sure he was the lost prince.

     with all these new informations, you needed to ask few questions to Seonghwa now. maybe he could help you having more answers to your questions. so you naturally started to walk towards the hospital.

     you didn't even dare to look at your phone. you knew you would have a lot of messages from your mom — she was very curious and couldn't even try and control it. seeing Seonghwa was, for the moment, your priority.

     reaching Seonghwa's hospital room was a relief for you. if you thought at the very beginning of this day that you were facing a problem hardly solvable, you were now looking at the new informations which helped you progressing in solving this problem.

     hope and determination were growing inside of you, and flourishing.

     you entered the room, a bright smile. Seonghwa was here, sitting down on a chair, next to the window. the sun was illuminating his face, revealing his melanin and natural beauty to you. your heart skipped a beat, and two, before you could move.

     “baby.~”

you approached him, and sat on a chair next to him. he immediately look up at you. he had a little smile, but his eyes were more expressive: they were shining.

“how do you feel?”

     “a lot better. i wish i could go out. i feel a little bit lonely here...”

you noticed he was playing with his fingers. you knew it meant he was very annoyed by this aspect of the situation.

     “and... can i do something about this, babe?”

you softly took his hands in yours. you would always be here by his side to try and make things easier for him to live. it was unnecessary for him to worry about that. and you wanted him to feel this in your gesture.

     “i feel a little bit guilty for asking you this but.. can you stay with me this night?”

he was avoiding your eyes, yet tightening his hold around your hands.

     “anything you want. i will stay with you tonight. and the next nights until you go out. i promise.”

you rubbed his hands softly with your thumbs. and before the silence was too loud in this room, you started to talk again.

“Hwa, i'd like to ask you some questions...”

     “yes, sure y/n. i'm listening.”

his soft gaze was back on your adorable face.

     “i know you don't remember well your childhood but.. i'd like you to try. for me, please. did she ever call you fleur-de-lis?”

you saw Seonghwa lowering his head. when you saw few lines on his forehead, you knew he was just trying hard to remember for you, to help you. and you were thankful...

     “i.. i don't think so. but, i don't know why... it doesn't sound unfamiliar to me.”

Seonghwa shoot his head up to look straight into your eyes.

“why? did you came back because you discovered something?”

     “kinda.. i did discover something, but i'm not sure at all about this information. and i think few people can help me solving this problem. you're one of them.”

when Seonghwa squeezed your hands, you felt like it was a sign from him to keep going.

“do you know why the very first pictures of you you have are pictures when you were 15 months?”

     “i thought it was very curious too. so i asked her. she told me she didn't have any reasons to take pictures of me from the very first day i was born, to the very first steps i made.”

     you nodded at this information. it was very interesting: after that, Seonghwa had a lot of pictures if him. dozens, and maybe hundreds. she was taking pictures of him very often.

“okay, then listen. i asked for informations about fleur-de-lis. what is it. who is it. what does that mean. the old lady running the library i'm often visiting told me everything. to summarize, fleur-de-lis is the Queen's and King's baby who disappeared when he was 13 months. they always called him this way because they wanted their baby's name to stay a secret. even the people working at the castle don't know the baby's name. and they were calling you fleur-de-lis. what if.. it was linked? maybe i'm crazy to think about this! but what if you were fleur-de-lis, their child? all the puzzle pieces are fitting! you don't have pictures of yourself before you were 15 months because you weren't living with her. she's not your biological mother, not your official mother because she just.. kidnapped you. she was wanted, everyone was looking for the person who kidnapped the prince. she couldn't go with you somewhere and make proper papers with you as her son. that's why she had to hide her identity? why she made false papers? because everybody wanted to find her!”

the adrenaline was rushing at a light speed through your veins. everything seemed to match.

     “am i the one who actually got drugged? i CAN'T be him. i'm not a prince, please, y/n. think about it again. it's not a fairy tale.”

     “i AM serious! you, first, think about it! i'm not asking you to believe it, i'm asking you to considerate it!”

as you were talking with Seonghwa, you heard knocks on the wooden door. you both straightened up to look at it.

     “are you Choi y/n?”

you nodded, a bit lost about what was happening.

“i'm a police officer. i'm working on the case regarding mister Park to find his family. since he can't leave the hospital, and you're the one who gave us informations about the lady who pretended to be mister Park's mom, can you please follow us to the police station? she got arrested. we need someone to indentify her.”

     you were stunned by their words. did the fact you mention 'fleur-de-lis' yesterday got them being more involved in the case?

Seonghwa had to squeeze your hands for you to be back in the present.

     you nodded, feeling again the hope growing up inside of you. as complicated this problem seemed to be, things were progressing quickly. it was like a relief for you, and for Seonghwa. maybe he wouldn't stay here too long?

you kissed Seonghwa's forehead, and left to follow the policemen.

     the ride to the police station was too quiet for you. you needed to know if they knew as much things as you. if they were also thinking that Seonghwa may be the lost prince.

     “do you think.. she was right when she called him 'fleur-de-lis'?”

     “we can't exclude the possibility she was the one who kidnapped the prince sixteen years ago. but first, we need to be sure we're holding the right woman.”

     “what will happen if i tell you she's the one he called mom all his life?”

you nervously played with your fingers.

     “we can't take the decision by ourselves to proceed to a DNA test. we need the child's parent agreement since he's not major, however we're looking for his parents. we will interrogate her, and of she admits she kidnapped him, we'll inform the Queen and King we found the prince. only then, a DNA test can be done — if they want to.”

     knowing they were, just as you, thinking Seonghwa may be the lost prince made you a little bit happier. you weren't crazy or too obsessed with the idea to find his family that you started to believe harebrained things. you were right when you started to have faith in this possibility: you couldn't exclude the possibility of him being the lost prince.

     things seemed to be clearer. this seemed to be obvious: you will go to the police station, you will identify her as the kidnapper, she will admit what she did, and Seonghwa will finally know the truth about his family and will live with them.

     but then, a whole another aspect of the situation hit you: if Seonghwa is the prince, what is going to happen when he will come back there, with his parents..? will you be able to live your idyll with him..? your worlds, which were the same until now, will they stay like that..? his world will necessarily be different from yours. after all, you weren't a noble at all...

     the car stopped in front of the police station. you looked through the window. your heart was beating fastly. you almost felt nauseous.

what your reaction will be in front of her?

you stepped out of the car, and followed the two policemen. they waisted no time and led you to a room. in front of you, through a window, there was a table. two chairs at each side of the table.

     “don't worry. she can't see you.”

with that, the policeman knocked on the door. inside the room, someone you first didn't see went to the door at the opposite, and opened it.

     she was here. she sat on a chair. she looked tired, and both sad and guilty. it was the right woman.

     there you were, with an ultimatum. what to do?

[purewhitewolf]

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

Oh boy there’s a lot of kinks for her... 

Kinks she doesn’t mind sharing with partners.

Bloodplay (usually mild like little shallow scratches as she doesn’t like hurting her partners...most of the time... but will happily play in someone else’s blood with partner)

Bondage

Breeding Kink (this one should’ve been obvious)

Crushing (but only for herself or objects like cans, watermelons, or boulders- DO NOT hurt defenseless animals or innocent people)

mild Foodplay

Haematophilia (sexual attraction involving blood either on a sex partner/attractive person or the liquid itself)

Humiliation (both herself and others...mainly others)

Kissing Kink (inherited from Aya’s soul and experience with her)

Spectrophilia (would you smooch a ghost?)

Somnophilia (consensual, she’d ask during the day before trying anything. She just finds her sleeping partners very cute.)

Roleplay (includes primal and pet play)

Tentacles

Teratophilia (I mean...she really likes monsters, dragons, beastfolks/anthros, and even Eldritch horrors.)

Seeing men wearing women’s lingerie

Seeing men and women in stockings

Has a slight obsession seeing red lipstick lips

Has a slight obsession with full lips in general

Wing kink and tail kink (prefers feathery wings and bushy tails, but is fine with other kinds)

Pred/Prey or Dom/Sub

And probably more that would take forever to list.....

Odd kinks/fetishes/general sex behavior she keeps to herself and personal fanfictions but is harmless

Aroused by criminals getting karmic punishments (a literal justice boner)

Plushophilia

Hyphephilia (she really loves feeling certain textures)

Getting high off of someone’s scent by sniffing their clothes or objects (stolen or otherwise) they had touched

During a full moon she strips naked, puts on a dog collar, stares at the moon for a second, and then goes outside and conceals herself in bushes or trees to pleasure herself while staring at the moon.

Actually even during the daytime she has a weird obsession with being surrounded by nature (in a forest, field of flowers or tall grass, mud pit, waterfall, etc.) and self pleasuring or having sex with someone in the natural earthy environment.

Paraphilias she feels guilty for having (all caused by traumas and an unknown corrupting illness she had inherited) that she avoids feeding if possible or uses very safe mild substitutes for or writing private smut stories. A lot of these were developed from being put into helpless situations and feeling powerless most of her life. She has mostly successfully numbed the urges of these, but still gets a slight passing desire here and there.

Anthropophagolagnia (the cannibalistic part comes from her odd condition, the rape part from her own personal trauma)

Anthropophagy (Same as above but without the rape, this developed from her condition and need to overpower someone)

Biastophilia (stemming from power related traumas throughout her whole life, she wants to see others struggle in vain against her so she feels powerful and not be the victim anymore.)

Dacryphilia (A bit more to this than just forming from her own abuse trauma. There’s a side to this that’s artistic as in she thinks some eyes look even more beautiful while crying.)

Erotophonophilia (both her condition and being at the mercy of others made this one developed quickly in her youth. Her desire to not be prey to any pervert, bully, or killer made her enjoy killing others a bit too much.)

Faunoiphilia (kinda stems from her one with nature quirks and admiring raw strength of creatures ...also stems from her strange condition she was born with. She only feels this around wild animals mating, usually bears or wolves, not pets.)

Frotteurism (developed from trauma and being in crowded areas while going through puberty)

Hematolagnia (from her unknown condition that makes her crave blood in an animalistic way)

Objectophilia (her knives in particular, she can’t explain why she finds sharp blades so appealing or how this happened. Perhaps from licking the addicting blood off her knife and kissing the blade too many times made this happened.)

Toucherism (she has the tendencies, this also developed in very awkward situations crowded or alone with a certain Lust teacher during her puberty)

Vorarephilia (the chopping up others into bloody pieces kind, from her condition that makes her have cannibalistic cravings)

[boogiewrites]

Reports & Repertoire 19: Power & Pleasure

Characters: Eddie Brock x Venom x Candace Miller (OFC)

Summary: A sex-filled chapter that fulfilled all the things I wanted to write for these three, and give them all much-needed pause before the big finale.

Warnings/Tags: Candy x Venom x Eddie sexual content. Smut. Dom/Sub, Threesome. Pegging. Ass play. Choking/Slapping.

Click on my icon then go to Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters.

Candy had been distant, and Eddie hadn’t taken it personally but he didn’t like feeling so helpless. She slept a lot, a certain tension in her face that didn’t go away even when she smiled at him. He didn’t know how to help, he’d done everything he could think of. He’d done the classic flowers, candy, food and cooking for her, gifts of perfume and jewelry and it worked for a little while. He could get her to cuddle up to him and be content for a few hours, but it never lasted. He missed feeling so close to her. He missed her and she was right next to him. So he tries something a little more forward.

Trying to lose his nerves to ask for something from her while she was like this, he slides in closer to her in the bed and plants a kiss to her shoulder. Followed by another, a strong arm wrapping around her and cupping under her breast as he tried what his instinct told him she needed.

She had been awake and she could feel Eddie's wheels turning as he lay next to her. Her eyes hold her hesitancy as she feels his thumb brush over her nipple. For a moment he’s hopeful, it hardens and he feels her hips shift. But she brings her hand on top of his with a sigh. Despite the ache it began between her legs, crying out for release from the tightness she’d kept herself balled up in for what had been weeks now, she couldn’t be all tender kisses and soft caresses with him. Even though that was where Eddie shined when it came to being intimate.

“Eddie… baby I…”

“We don’t have to I just thought… I’d try.”

She can hear the disappointment in his voice. “I just don’t think I have it in me.” She shakes her head and groans. “I can’t be all, soft and sweet like you right now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize I was just trying something. Ya know sometimes when you’re stressed you like it when we get all close so…” he drags off, not entirely sure the point he was trying to elaborate on.

“No, you’re right.” She agrees, sitting up in bed. “That’s the logical conclusion.” She shrugs. “I’m just so... tense and I have this weird,” she growls and fists her hands “energy I just wanna,” she shakes her fists. “It makes me wanna hit things or lash out. And I don’t want to do that to you so… I’ve pushed you away, I know. I’m sorry. You’ve been nothing but sweet this whole time.”

“S’okay. It happens. I just wanna help. Can I help?” His tone was so genuine she wanted to slap his sweet face. She was being a cold bitch and he was giving her everything anyone else could ever want and still here she was, not wanting to get his affection. What was wrong with her.

Venom felt the tension. “Candy?” He appears from behind Eddie. She turns her attention his way. “Is it violence you wish?”

“No.” She replies quickly then hesitates. “But also yes? Fuck I dunno. I just don’t wanna feel so small and anxious you know? I miss feeling in control. The confidence.”

“You feel the need to take your power back.”

She blinks at the opal eyed intuitive alien that makes the third in her technically polyamorous relationship. “Yeah, you… you’re probably right.”

“We have seen things.” He begins and Candy and Eddie both shot him a confused quirked brow. “Movies. Where the women take their power back from the men. Femdom.”

“You’re letting him watch porn again?” She looks to Eddie with the most amused face he’s seen in weeks.

“I can’t really stop him.” He sighs and shrugs.

“Maybe you could lash out at us?” Venom suggests, taking her hands that we’re still fists. She hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m not mad at you. You've been great. Why would I take it out on you?”

“No, but We’ve seen movies where angry women have men on their knees and there's choking and peg-“

“VENOM! Dude. Read the room.” Eddie rubs his face in embarrassment.

“We are!” He insists with a pointed tentacle. “Candy is a strong woman. In and out of bed. You are a submissive man in bed. She needs some… violence. Some dominance, roughness, control. We can give her that.” Be insists rubbing her thigh attentively but not pushing her.

“Is... is that something you’re into? Would it help?” Eddie asks, not knowing if he was scared of the answer or not. Venom whispers to him that he’s not. That’s excitement.

Candy remained quiet and contemplated it in her head. Eddie's face was soft and slapable, wasn't it? She grins to herself and she reaches out to brush his cheek. She did want to feel power. They were right. She’d been stripped of her usual means of feeling it and needed to remember who she was.

“I think… maybe I would.” Her voice is calm and even as she nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve felt so powerless. So… looked over and ignored by these men lately I just-“ she sighed heavily. “I’ve done it before, y’know, some dom and uh, ass play and, y'know. But are you up for it?” A nervous laugh escapes her as she feels a tightness in her belly grow more and more obvious.

“Oh, hell be fiiiine” Venom exhalations and gives Eddie's butt a little slap as he quivers with laughter.

“That something you’re into Eddie? Baby?” She coos softly at his wide eyes. “Getting handled and treated like you’re just some hunk of meat to play with? Or knowing you’re serving me well by letting me fuck you hard and take out my aggression on you? Huh?” Her thumb trails over his lip as she speaks, seeing Venom stroking back Eddie's messy ruffle of hair on the crown of his head.

Eddies cheeks flush and venom beams.

“He likes getting held down and fucked.” He confesses for Eddie.

“Dude…” his embarrassment and arousal from candy’s deep voice cooing at him had him flustered.

“I can do that. Have before y’know. Put boys like you in their place. With Venoms help I’m sure we could have a night to remember.”

“The possibilities are endless.” Venom chimes in and reaches out to caress Candy's cheek.

“I...yeah, y’know…” Eddie's eyes shift as the two sets of knowing and more dominant ones look down at him. “I like it rough from time to time.” He shrugs.

“You have a safe word?” Candy asks as she grabs the edge of the covers.

“This little slut doesn’t need one.” Venom trills happily and moves the blankets off the bed. “He can take anything you give him.” He gives a long lick up Eddie's neck. The look of amusement and playfulness in Candy's eyes made the chance of being vulnerable worth it.

“I like to hear that.” She purrs, getting out of bed and moving the end of it. “First things first.” She states with her posture straight again and a pointed finger demanding.”Bring that pretty boy over here Venom.” Her brow sits as low as her voice travels and Eddie falls into place easily being controlled by Venom.

He sits at the edge of the bed, soft t-shirt and boxers on and growing tighter as he sees Candy's hands moving across her chest as she looks him up and down. “Bind his wrists together.” Her voice drops low and breathy, his forearms snapped together behind his back in a second with a bewildered looking Eddie. “Nah, in front. I want him to be able to use them.”

They both obey her commands.

“Maybe.” She smiles and walks towards him, a simple nightgown still on, fingers rubbing through his hair, looking over his face that showed his age but was still devastating. She hums and gets her mind in the right space while a happy Eddie enjoys being pet on. “Let’s get you naked.” She whispers into his ear, punctuating it with a kiss. “I’ve missed you baby boy. Lemme see you.” She pulls back and waits. “Venom, you know what to do with him.” And within seconds he was wide-legged and bare to behold for her as she bit her thumb at him. “You are one fine piece of beef you know that Brock?” She smirks.

“Thanks.” He replies shyly.

“And humble.” She huffs. “You wanna see me now baby?” She suggests with pursed lips.

“Yes. Please.”

“You do the honors Venom.” She says turning her back to him and standing proudly as his inky body covered her in a vibrating warmth, laps and licks at her as he did so, enjoying the new playtime.

“Beautiful.” He hums as he sinks back into a blob by Eddie on the bed.

“You’re so good to me boys.” Her voice is warm and sweet like caramel, her words annunciations to show what she said was important but delivered with a loving tone. “So I’ll be good to you, okay?” It was rhetorical but an in sync nod from both makes her smile. Their eyes watched her hands roam and touch her bare skin. “You like you watch?” She asks softly, turning and tweaking her nipples, moving her hips and teasing as she bent over.

“Mmm hmmm.” Eddie murmurs with a gulp and Venom begins to drool with a panting tongue.

She spreads her pussy lips apart, presenting herself and rubbing her clit a few strokes to get a satisfied hum out of herself before turning to play with her breasts again. “Looks like you do.” She whispers, a foot fondling Eddies balls as his cock grew. “I love watching you get hard for me.” She pays his face no mind which is now slack with content. “But I like feeling it more.” She pauses and gets on her knees. “In my mouth.” She kisses his tip before taking him in to feel the softness turn to the solid veiny pleasure giver she knew she would use well tonight. She murmurs and suckles only lightly, feeling him push towards her throat.

“You like feeling us get hard for you? Feel us... filling you up?” Venom suggests as the white veins in his mobile body start to pulse.

Candy flashes sultry eyes up to his and nods. Eddie whimpers at the exchange.

“Like you Eddie. When I push down your throat. Remember?” He echos in Eddie's head as he swallows audibly.

She hovers over him with an extended tongue to trace his underside from his balls to his head. “I want you so fucking hard it hurts baby. Make a cock ring around this lovely cock Venom. Nice. And. Tight.”

Eddie whines, now viced and feeling his blood rush as Candy traces his bulging veins with her tongue.

“I do love a man sounding helpless.” She gives a broad lick up his shaft before wrapping her lips around his heavy balls as best she could. “Love it when you moan and whine and whimper for me baby boy.” She pushes him to his back, legs bent by forcing his knees up and nuzzles her face between his legs. Venom floats forward to watch her enjoy the feeling of Eddie tensing at her touch. She kissed his thick thighs, nibbles before sucking his balls noisily again, his dick twitching for her now.

“Yes, we love this. Don’t we Eddie?” Venom rests against his strong thigh, watching and pulling Candy's hair out of her face. “Tell her.” He orders.

“Feels so good Candy, baby, it does.” rushes out as her mouth wanders farther south.

“If you want him to moan, this is the way.” Venom grins and lets his enormous tongue out and lick up the middle of Eddie's body.

Candy giggles and sees Eddie's toes curl. “My dirty little boy.” She purrs watching Venom tease his hole while she kissed at his cheeks. “Didn’t know we were going to have this sort of fun tonight.” She grins and strokes Venom's head, tongue now pushing into Eddie and eliciting the sweetest moans. “I’m going to ruin you baby boy. WE’RE going to aren’t we?” She asks Venom with a nuzzle of nose to his side.

“I’m going to make you both scream.” He pushes back, forehead to forehead with her. “I’m going to fill every hole. We’re going to be one tonight Candy. And you’re calling the shots.”

A thrill of cold ran down her spine and straight to her clit. “Fuck you have been learning haven’t you? My good boys.” She sighs and gives him an affectionate lick like he liked to do to her from time to time.

He takes the open invitation and pulls her close, kissing her, minding the teeth and he makes his tongue play with hers, filling her mouth and leaving her a bit dizzy from the intensity he managed to convey. It was wet, messy and turned Eddie on to see more than he expected. He could feel Candy in his arms, feel his lips against hers, her breath and moans into his mouth just the same as Venom did.

“Let's not leave the baby out of this.” He laughs as he pulls away. “I think it would be fun to see how hard we can make him without fucking him.”

A small noise of retort comes from Eddie. But luckily Candy didn’t have torture in mind.

“I could never forget him. Plenty of teasing for us to do to him tonight. She crawls up his body and settles with her knees on either side of his head. “Bring us up on the bed and lock his ankles in place. Hands above his head.” She orders and soon he’s laid out beneath her like a buffet. The stout and strong muscle spread under her did wonders for her visually. “These arms Eddie. She moans and bites her lip. Hands rubbing up against his biceps. “One day I’m going to have you choke me with them.” She nods in agreement to her idea. “Not tonight. Tonight you get choked.” She grins wickedly and leans forward to sit on his face. “Now be a good boy. Get me nice and wet.” She shakes his head by the hair at the crown and wrinkled her nose in anticipation. Eddie was a giver, and Venom wasn’t the only one with a talented tongue and hunger.

Both moaning and hips bucking he does as he’s told and licks, flicks and sucks away at her clit and entrance to taste her.

“Mmmph. He’s got an appetite tonight.” She taunts as he keeps his tongue out after she lifts herself off him. “I wanna try something new.” She chirps and moves, ass in his face as she gets into an inverted position over him. “I wanna tease you. Get you hard as a diamond…” she groans happily with a tracing finger on his swollen head by her mouth. “But I also want to get fucked.” She pouts and licks at the pre-cum leaking from his rapidly darkening cock. “Since you like to watch… Venom's going to fuck me, and you have to lay here and watch. While I have my fun with this beautiful cock of yours.” She takes it at the base and he moans from just her breath against him. “Fill me up boys. But let the baby see.”

“Yessssss.” Venom enters the play and forms a well-sized appendage that he sinks into Candy's already wet pussy.

“Fuck, you boys are big aren’t you?” She keens and moans happily as she gently worships at Eddie's cock.

He has to lie back and watch Candy get stretched and drip, tensing around Venom when he could feel everything just as intensely. Her moans against his sensitive cock were enough, the playful bites and kisses and roaming hands on his thighs, ass, and balls. He considers he should feel used but it only felt good.

She wiggles her ass at him, hearing him moan and whine her name and the gentle push of their third inside her. “You like to watch don’t you baby boy?” She feels him twitch against her tongue in response and gives a confident laugh against him. “Think it’s time we let him in on the action Venom.” She raises her body weight off Eddie and pants as Venom gets a few good hits inside her before he follows orders. “I want you to be honest Eddie.” She begins, moving to her knees between his legs. “Have you let Venom fuck this fat ass of yours?” She giggles and him a few good hard spanks with his knees held back to the bed.

“Yeah.” he answers bashfully.

“I have too so don’t be ashamed,” she kisses the insides of his knees. “But I think it’s my turn.” She gives a hard bite that makes him flinch. Before he can ask she gives orders. “Venom, you know what strap ons are right?”

“Oh yes.”

“And pegging?”

“Mmmm.”

“I want to wear you like a cock I can fuck Eddie with. You wanted every hole filled right? So you can fuck me, fill me up like we’ll do to our baby Eddie here." she slaps his cock. "Everyone gets a piece. But I get to have this sweet ass all to myself.” Her face reads with a dark excitement and Eddie can’t bring it upon himself to care as her tits graze his aching cock. Bouncing as she gave little pats to his balls to make him moan and slaps to his ass as she enjoyed watching the chunk of a man jiggle. “You want that you gorgeous prize stud?” She gives a warm smile and kisses his knees.

He gives a nod and a content sigh.

“Let’s show Candy those sexy moans you let out when I hit your prostate.” Venom grins and gives his human a loving pinch to his nipples.

“You boys have been naughty without me huh?” She gives a confidence wide knees stance as Venom encases her, giving her a cock much more real than any she’d worn before. She could stroke it and watch Eddie leak from his almost purple ringed member.

“Eddie is quite the little slut when he’s in the mood. We have a good time. He likes it when I make him pass out.”

“VERY naughty!” Candy gives an almost happy squeal as she leans forward and slaps his cock and then his cheek. “Leaving me out? So rude. I want to make you feel good too baby boy.”

“Oh, you do.” He answers with a tension in his neck. “He only does it when I need it. Like you need this.”

“Now we can all play together can’t we?” She leans forward and wiggles her hips to rub herself against him, kissing him before giving his thick lips a bite.

“Fuck yes we can.” A deep growl of a response from Venom before he began the process of making them both forget they were ever stressed out.

He slips inside Candy, a thick and long custom cock that he knew would make her eyes tear up with pleasure at its size and shape. He covers them both in a black throbbing web of himself. Every erroneous zone covered and being sucked at with little puckering suction like a sea creature on its tentacles. Nipples, necks, and lobes were all stimulated, the juices flowing from all parties involved as Eddie and Candy moaned into each other’s mouths, an abandon they’d both needed.

“Free his hands.” She moaned between kisses as they wrap each other up for a heated make out with messy tongues and porn star moans as they were stroked and swelled up to reveal every nerve for Venom to find. She groans and curses, pulling herself away to ready at his entrance. “Don’t you hold back Eddie. I want to hear you.” She instructs as his eyes roll back and mouth goes slack as she enters him.

“Oh fuck.” A deep gutter all sound that she feels in her belly as she spits on her hand and begins to stroke him to the pace of her hips.

“Not leaving me out are you?” She gives a deep teasing laugh to venom who had preoccupied his tongue with her chest.

“Never.” He grins and gives a long lick around her as he spreads himself to fill up the same hole she was doing for Eddie.

“Fuck.” A deep exhale from her, a warm tendril to her neck as she wanted to fall forward but kept her hips going. “Eddie you’re so hard baby. Fuck you’re both so… BIG.” She yelps as a strong wave of pleasure ran over her.

“You can take so much Candy.” Venom drools, purring as their bodies all worked as one. “She takes us so well Eddie. She's so hot… so tight around us. I know you feel it. You’re purple you like it so much.” He speaks aloud to them both, as they all move as one unit, all connected. He covers Candy's hands to keep her on Eddie's rock hard cock, engulfing it to make Eddie's eyes cross as he moves to cradle his prostate inside him.

“I’m not even gonna.. last long.” A cock drunk laugh escapes Candy. “You gonna cum hard for me baby? Maybe cum at the same time? Let me feel you so fuckin...unf… hard and tight Eddie fuck this is...”

“Fuck you feel so good. I’m close.” A whine from Eddie as Candy slaps a hand up his chest to get her balance then pushing it to his neck. “Choke me Venom. Make me cum you big mother fuckers.” She growls and Eddie feels her squeeze his thick neck.

They’re lost in it together, that final rise before the big drop. Candy's hips as fast and hard as she can use them, thighs on fire being fueled by Venom keeping her pace. Eddie moans loudly and it is the sweetest sound. He carries on between slaps to his handsome face and growled praise with her hand around his throat as she fucks him as hard as she can. She had an animalistic desire to pull every noise she could out of him. Their hearts raced and blood ran hot together. All three, in perfect rhythm as they peaked and crashed. Venom roared as he felt it all, Candy squirting, coming in rounds as he kept stimulating her, and Venom soaking it up like it was precious ambergris not to be wasted. Eddie came so hard he shouted, both crying out for each other and a hot mess of panting mouths and dizzy heads.

They shook and shivered together, sweat and cum and spit all ignored as Candy collapsed on top of Eddie. Both too weak to move their arms.

“Fuck.” Candy is the first to speak after a long pause of moans and groans and gasps. “Eddie… baby… you…?”

“S’good.” He slurs, accent thick and voice high as he slaps a hand to her back after a grunt of exertion.

“You will stabilize.” Venom coos and begin pushing back Candy's hair. “Sleep. You pushed your limits.”

“Roll me over please.” A tired chuckle from her as she realizes she can just ask for things now. “Tuck us in.” She smiles and pulls Eddie close. The blankets find them, Venom wraps them up close and pats their heads.

She didn’t dream of revenge and he didn’t dream of his worries. For a night they got to suspend it as they cuddled like kittens after being vulnerable together. It was the brief sanctuary that they’d needed.

@hardygal69​​​ @marvelgirl7​​​ @emerald-bijou @brianaisasongbird​​​ @vale0413​​​ @izzy-the-ginger​​​ @chortletortoise @onomatopoetic-aesthetic @anrm1 @jademox​​​ @nightcraver​​​ @venomous-possibiities @tinastarkandco​​​ @chipster-21​​​ @ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes​​​ @queenof-wakanda @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s​ @peakys-mystic​​​ @jaegeeeeer​

[mysticalmessimagines]

could you write the RFA helping MC who is a bit of a control freak and currently trying to cope with a situation in which she is powerless? for instance maybe she’s planned a yearly trip for a long time and always found ways to make it work but this years quarantine prevents it. she legitimately has no power and is not coping well.

RFA helping MC who's feeling powerless

Hey! This one is little special, I wrote 3 different situations with two characters for each one. (Zen/Yoosung, Jumin/Saeyoung and Jaehee/Jihyun). Those are not spoiler free!

TW : Loss of a family member

Zen

Like every year you planned a road trip across Europe. This was something you did for years, as you want to travel one day all around the world.

You had a few problems the past years, such as delayed flights or too expensive tickets, but you always found a solution.

But today you are powerless. Because of the pandemic, and of course the quarantine, you have to stay at home. 

And you aren’t too happy with this situation. You are having an hard time coping with it. 

But luckily you have Zen by your side. One of the sweetest guy ever, I swear. 

He buys you flowers every time he’s allowed to leave home. Because he is an actor, he teleworks.

Obviously it pains him to stay at home, but at least it allows him to be by your side. 

A lot of cuddle. He takes a lot of time to comfort you. Zen loves taking care of you, so be prepared for a SPA at home.

Masks, massages, body care… Okay he can be like your grandma sometimes. Kinda.

Yoosung 

Quarantine is like a dream to him ! Staying at home, skipping classes and playing video games !

So at first our boy doesn’t really understand why you feel so bad. Yeah he gets that you are annoyed because of your road trip.

You have to explain him that you’re having an hard time when you aren’t in control.

Poor boy will probably quickly apologize if he made you feel bad.

Yoosung will 100% cook for you ! And if you want to, he would be so glad if you choose to help him. Cooking is undoubtedly his quarantine hobby.

Of course you can expect a lot of LOLOL. I mean he’s still a game addict student. 

By the way you will probably have to help him study. He has an hard time getting in gear so you’re going to be his motivation.

Yoosung will try to do as much as he can to distract you. He doesn’t want you to feel bad because you couldn’t leave. 

(He will secretly ask V for help. Borrowing him pictures of his travels, just for you.)

Jumin

Today was to be an ordinary day. Well, that was what you thought. You visited your parent’s home earlier.

And they told you they were getting divorced. You didn’t say anything and just left. You hurried to be at Jumin’s side as soon as possible.

When you arrive, you start to cry. Jumin is puzzled and concerned about you, so he hold you tight. 

You love both of your parents, and you aren’t ready to see them apart. Of course you thought of trying to get them back together, but you can’t do anything about their choice.

Jumin can’t really relate to you, since he saw his dad getting divorced already a few times.

However he will reassure you the best he can. You can expect a lot of discussions. He will gently caress your hair and explain everything you may need to know.

He might also recommend you a good psychologist if he thinks you are feeling too down. He cares about you a lot, and he will do anything to make you feel better. 

Jumin will pick for you the best psychologist of the whole country. He only wants the best for you.

Saeyoung 

Saeyoung can’t really relate either, since he wasn’t “in good terms” with his parents.

(And it was for the better since the two of them were toxic as fuck).

However, he knows what it feels like to care for a family member. He parted ways with Saeran when he was a child, so he understands that you are scared.

Saeyoung never had proper control over his own life since his birth. He gets better than anyone else how much it is terrifying to be left powerless. 

He tries to convince you to talk to your parents. He wants you to explain them how helpless you feel. 

He sort of lost his brother because of their absence of communication, and he doesn’t want you to go through the same thing.Saeyoung knows how painful it is, and he wishes to protect you from sorrow the best he can.

He proposes to come with you if you are scared. (he will hold you hand tightly)

Saeyoung will help you coping with this lack of control as much as he can (expect a lot of sweet attentions-).

Jaehee

Your mother was recently hospitalized because of health problems. 

You knew it was serious, but you never expected to learn she would die soon because of a malignant tumor of the pancreas.

Needless to say, this news broke your heart. You found Jaehee as soon as you learned it. 

She knows what it felt like to lose your parents. She hug you without a word first. 

Jaehee let you cry in her arms as much as you want to. She is aware that you are inconsolable at first, when you learn such news. You can’t do anything about it, since doctors discovered the tumor too late.

She will be right besides you as you get through her death. She will be there as you grieve. 

Jaehee doesn't try to give you advice since she knows there are as many ways to grieve as there are people.

She just want you to know that you aren’t alone. You can’t do anything about her death, so Jaehee wants to make sure you don’t feel guilty or anything.

Jihyun 

Our boy also lost his mother. Even if it wasn't because of a disease, he instantly knew how destroy you could have been feeling. 

One of the first things he tells you is to spend as much time with her as possible. Jihyun doesn’t want you to feel regrets like he did. 

He reads books about the different stages of grief. He wishes to know how to help you ; and like Jumin he’s gonna suggest you to see a psychologist. He knows how much those are helpful.

Jihyun being some kind of hippie, he will convince you to do meditation. He doesn’t want you to blame yourself as you are as powerless as possible. 

Jihyun will help you finding peace as soon as you are ready. He might suggest you pour your emotions into art; he would leave you a blank canvas and paint to free you from a burden.

He is always there if you need to talk, like literally anytime. Also available for cuddling.

If you are okay with it, he will offer you to paint your mother. He wishes to create beautiful memories of her for you.

Hey! I hope you liked it and you are okay with what I wrote. I had a lot of ideas so I try to make it as diversified as possible :)

[yandere-ac]

may i request freya,,

Yandere Freya X Reader

Pretending

So peaceful, so beautiful, so calm yet intriguing. As her fierce and untamed eyes brushed over your sleeping body she couldn’t but feel her heart soften. Freya has always felt superior to everyone else around her and it had made it difficult to get close to people because of it. But the first time she had ever laid her eyes on you, she had fallen so hard for you. And when she heard you speak, not only were your voice so soothing and angelic but you were so nice as well. You had complimented her clothing and style and she could feel herself heating up when you smiled. You were just so cute. That was the day that she decided. You had to be hers.

The only problem was, she had competition. Competition that shared the place in your bed right now. Looking beside you she saw her rival, the wolf that stood between you and her. Audie.

She was the bane of Freyas existence. Always laying her dirty paws on you when you belong to Freya! Anytime Audie was close to you Freya could feel her blood boil. She wanted to pounce on that obnoxious, dim-witted, two-faced cockroach and teach her what happens if she tried to take something that isn’t hers. She should know not to touch other people’s things. She didn’t want you to be close to Audie at all, but she didn’t blame you. No. Never you. How could she possibly blame you? It’s not your fault that someone as amazing attracted so many people. One of which was Audie. But that didn’t mean Freya felt any less anger when Audie cheerfully held your hand or wrapped her arms around you. And if she ever had the AUDACITY to kiss you when Freya was present, she had to run away and take deep breaths to keep herself from murdering Audie.

Freya tried not to think of what happened between the two of you when you slept over with each other and the lights turned off. Usually she wouldn’t visit you when Audie was over, if you woke up when you were alone Freya could just abduct you, she was a lot stronger than you after all. But if Audie was there to, well that would make things a bit more complicated. Abducting you would be easy but if she had to fight off Audie that would be a whole other story. That was another thing Freya liked about you, you were so weak. So utterly helpless. So defenseless against her. She could literally just swoop you off you feet and keep you to herself if she wanted. The thought of her being able to abduct you without anyone seeing it existed her beyond belief. You’d be hers, and she would be able to do anything with you. But she knew that thought was very unrealistic. Plus, she wanted you to love her back. Freya wasn’t delusional, she knew that if she kidnapped you, you would be petrified of her. And that simply wouldn’t do. She wanted you to enjoy being with her, she wanted the relationship to be two sided. Although. She’s be lying if she said the thought of you shivering out of fear, knowing how powerless you’d be in that situation, didn’t make her smile.

She gad seen you scared before, you were just so adorable when you were scared. You had been chased and cornered by a tarantula, you didn’t seem to have a net with you and as you saw Freya you had called out to her. “FREYA! HELP ME PLEASE!” Hearing you call out her name in desperation had given her a sudden rush of bravery. Doing something she’d never done before. She ran over to the wretched bug and stomped on it, seeing you let out a relived smile and running over to her giving her a big hug was the greatest feeling in the world. Your arms around her felt so good, she couldn’t help but return the hug, lifting you up from your feet and spinning you around a little before putting you back to the ground. And while she did enjoy your fear, she enjoyed your happiness a whole lot more.

But even though she had to admit, Audie made you very happy, she was not gonna let her have you. You were meant for her. And she could make you so much more happier than Audie ever could! She had a bunch of different choices on how to break you and Audie up, and she had tried to find a solution that wouldn’t make you sad. But if course, she couldn’t. There was no way of separating the two of you without you getting sad, or worse, heartbroken. But she knew it had to be done. She could of course do this in a multitude of ways, kidnap you, kill Audie, manipulate you into hating her, abduct Audie and kill her, really it was hard to chose. But in the end she’s have to go with the option that may hurt you a lot, if Audie suddenly went “missing”. But of course. She wouldn’t go missing, no. She would be stuck in Freya’s basement, and lord knows what Freya planned on doing with her from there. Part of her wanted to just make it a quick death, another part of her wanted to make it as slow and drawn out as possible. As a punishment for taking you away from her.

But no matter, right now she could just enjoy the sight of your sleeping body even if it was next to Audie. It’s not like she would be beside you for very long...

“Hey Freya could you help me for a second?” You asked her, tilting your head whilst giving a caring smile. Freya could feel her heart beat as you said her name. She wanted you to do that more often. “Yes? What is it Y/N?” You ran up to her and grabbed her paw in your much smaller hand. You led her to a big table near the beach. “So...I may have bought a table that was to heavy for me to lift by myself and I was wondering if you could help me carry it?” You asked her, looking down on the ground. Freya have you a gentle and loving smile as she agreed to help you. And so the two of you carried the big table towards The plaza where you set it down, you then proceeded to unpack a bunch of flowers out of your backpack and put them onto the table. “That looks really nice Y/N” Freya complimented you. “Hey? Do you know where Audie is?” She asked. She had to keep herself from throwing up as she said that name, but she had to keep her mask on.

“Oh, well actually. Audie’s sick still the moment. I’ve given her medicine but nothing seems to be working. Poor thing can barely lift a finger, she’s stuck in her bed” you told her with a saddened look. “Oh really? Ell maybe I should...visit her”

And there you were, sleeping peacefully. Stomach gently going up and down in a relaxed manner. You looked so cute, so sweet, so blissfully unaware of what was going on. Freya wanted nothing more than to snuggle up against you under the covers. Well...maybe if she just-NO! It would be...stupid and risky for her to...but...what if she would be really careful. Yeah, then she could just lye with you for a couple of minutes. The deed has already been done, so no one is gonna be able to stop her. Carefully, Freya slowly but surely lifted up your blanket and crawled up next to you. Her body was not touching yours yet, but oh how she wanted it to so badly. No, she had to control herself, it was risky enough for her to lay in the same bed as you. But...Audie wasn’t here...and it’s not like you were strong enough to do something...Alright then. Freya carefully wrapped one arm around tour waist. You made a little noise and she froze up as you moved slightly, but thankfully you fell back asleep. Okey Freya, you can do it. Freya moved her body next to yours and pressed it up to you, now actually doing a spooning motion instead of just laying next to you. My god. Your skin felt so soft, having your body pressed against hers, feeling you breathe. It was nice, it felt like you were a couple and not a stalker and it’s victim. Freya closed her eyes, letting the moment sink in so that she could truly feel enjoy it. She could stay like this for a little longer. Audie was under control, and as long as you didn’t wake up, this was fine. She might just lay here the entire night, but she’ll have to go before you wake up. She’ll still need time to...”take care” of Audie. But that didn’t matter right now. Right now she just wanted to pretend that everything was normal, maybe that you and her were dating and you wanted her next to you. Pretending, it’s a funny thing. You can pretend all you want, but no matter how hard you pretend.

You can’t fool yourself

[elonscult]

The Awakening - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

At times it seemed like it was only yesterday that Elon went off to Texas, and only a moment since that fateful bucket of flowers arrived at her door. But the empty spot next to her at night told Sabrina in no uncertain terms that Elon was not coming back or changing his lifestyle any time soon. After all, this is all she knew, lonely nights and waiting home for someone.

Sabrina opened the door to her walk-in closet to find a black gift box sitting in one of the counters. She reached for the card hanging from it, it was from Elon. Inside of it, there was a long white silk slit dress.

“For Kimbal’s wedding” Sabrina thought.

She ran one of her hands through the soft fabric, imagining herself wearing it but most importantly, she thought about the sound of water slamming the floor coming out of the bathroom. Elon was finally home.

The mirror in the bedroom reflected a beautiful image, an ethereal figure highlighted by the smooth nature of the dress it was wearing. But when Sabrina looked at it all she saw was a body and appearance that never fully felt like her own.

“You ready, love?” Elon said stepping into the room, his bone-colored tux looking impeccable.

“Yeah” Sabrina answered nodding.

Elon let out a deep breath while he reached for her hand, suddenly wanting to feel her close to him.

“Are you aware of how amazing you look?” he said rubbing his thumb on her soft skin. He felt a bolt of electricity traveling inside of him, a sensation he needed more of.

“You too, babe” Sabrina said kissing his hand lovingly.

“We should just stay here instead, I could think of a couple ways to pass time” Elon said.

“Shut up” Sabrina smirked.

The darkness in the room began receding, replaced by a creeping faint orange light. The sunset snuck up on Elon and Sabrina, who were sitting at a large table with his family. The event was taking place outdoors, in a neatly decorated white tent that matched the dress code for all the guests. The sight looked romantic in the dim golden light, the mutual agreement of two souls wanting to be together. “Adorable” Sabrina thought watching Kimbal and his -now- wife dancing to some cheesy love song. And so, she buried her face into the side of Elon’s neck and closed her eyes for a moment. It had been so long since she held his body, so warm and full of life. But even now, his body was different than the rest. All of those other guys did nothing to fill the sinking pit inside of her. His body gave her a sense of joy, excitement, and peace. She relished every dying second, being there next to him. Time was suddenly infinite, but in short supply.

“I’ll be right back baby” Elon whispered kissing Sabrina’s head and standing up to get lost in the multitude of people. The seat next to her was quickly occupied by his blue eyed sister.

“I’m so glad you’re back in the family!” Tosca said with a bright smile. “We seriously need to catch up.”

“I thought I stopped being your favorite” Sabrina said teasing her.

“Never!” Tosca laughed “You’re the only one that makes Elon happy, you should get him to take some days off too”

“Yeah I know” Sabrina said frowning “I’m trying”

Sabrina scanned the room looking for her loved one and was surprised to find out he was looking right back at her. She smiled as he motioned her to come closer.

Sabrina gave tosca a warm smile and excused herself before standing up and walking towards Elon. After introducing her to his close friends he grabbed her waist and guided her to the middle of the dance floor. Something highly unlikely of him.

“So you’re a dancer now” Sabrina said placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Yeah it’s one of my many hobbies” Elon said smiling. “I wanted to dance with my girl, is that a sin?”

She leaned in and gave him a kiss before resting her head on his chest.

Every bit about him ravished her imagination, entering her fantasies with titillating thoughts of his mind and body. The way he laughed, the way he smirked. The way his hands were resting on the back of her waist. The way he looked into her eyes. Every little bit of it, she kept consuming, falling deeper into a hole she wasn’t sure she could get out of.

“I love you” Elon suddenly whispered.

Sabrina felt her heart skip a bit.

“You do?” She asked.

“I always have” He answered.

She looked up to see his face but her eyes quickly focused on a familiar figure close to them.

“What is she doing here?” Sabrina said taking a step back.

Elon turned around to find his former wife standing in front of him. The blonde woman looked angry.

“What’s happening here?” Camille asked staring at Sabrina with disgust.

“Why are you here?” Sabrina asked bitterly.

“He invited me” Camille said pointing at Elon.

Sabrina searched for Elon’s gaze only to find him looking as surprised as she was.

“I-I might have invited her” he finally said “I forgot about it honestly”

“Fine, then your little escort can leave, she’s only embarrassing you anyway” Camille said.

“Camille” Elon muttered looking distressed.

Sabrina felt a sharp pain go through her as he watched Elon brush the entire situation off.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go” Sabrina said.

She walked through the tent and quickly said goodbye and apologized to the newlyweds for leaving early, then she hurried until she reached the front part of the venue.

“Sabrina wait up” Elon said coming behind her pulling her arm.

“Don’t touch me” she said.

“Are we really doing this now?” he said, frustrated. “Can you fucking listen to me for once?” Elon yelled.

“No!” Sabrina snapped back. “And don’t yell at me”

Sabrina continued walking only to stop and turn back to face him.

“You have no idea how humiliated I feel right now! And you’re acting like its not a big deal” Sabrina said.

“It’s an honest mistake, I forgot” Elon said. “You always blow things out of proportion”

“You’re so fucking insensitive” Sabrina yelled holding tears back.

“And you’re so fucking high maintenance I don’t know what else to do to keep you happy” he yelled.

“Then do nothing!” Sabrina said as she finally caught a taxi and jumped inside of it.

The ride to her house was painfully silent, she strictly devoted herself to look through the window. Love. The reason she disliked that word was that it meant too much for her, far more than anyone could ever understand.

When Sabrina arrived at her place she felt comfortable enough to let herself cry. And so she did. She climbed the stairs to get to her bedroom but when she opened the door even with her -now- blurry vision she saw all of the room ravaged.

A pair of hands grabbed her abruptly and slammed her against the wall. A knot began to form in her stomach as she quickly became aware of what was happening. The tall dark figure of a man now standing in front of her with one hand over her mouth so she could not scream.

“Quiet” the man whispered. He was too close to Sabrina, so close she could feel his hot breath touching her skin. She instantly felt the need to throw up.

“I wasn’t expecting you home soon” he continued.

The horrific stranger was wearing a ski mask and the only thing visible were his brown eyes.

Sabrina tried to free herself from his grasp but he was stronger than her.

“He’s going to kill me. Or worse” she thought.

“Be a good girl and don’t fight back” he said as he slowly moved his hand away from her mouth.

She took advantage of the moment and kicked him as hard as she could to run towards the exit of the house. He followed her through the staircase until he finally grabbed her by the hair pulling her back to him. Sabrina still fighting back. She felt a strong hand punching her in the face and then she passed out.

The smell of leather and old rope woke her up. She was being tied down to a chair, her face now bruised after being hit earlier. She panicked. She wanted to take it all back, the discussion with Elon, what happened at the wedding, she wanted to still be dancing close to him.

“Please don’t hurt me” Sabrina cried. “I can give you money I-I can give you whatever you want”

“I don’t want money! I want you” he said tightening the knot on her right hand and moving to the next one. He looked up to see her and he quickly approached her to give her a kiss. His mouth felt like two worms pressing down on Sabrina’s lips. She bit him. That shocked him enough to make him take a few steps back and Sabrina managed to free herself before running to the closet and locking the door behind her. Still shaking and with an acid sickness on the back of her throat she grabbed the house phone that was hanging from the wall, thanking whoever decided to put it there. After calling 911 and explaining the situation to the police she still needed to wait for them to come over. She instantly felt small in that big room, like a little child that needed her stuffed animal to deal with the nightmares. Her mind rationally thought about calling Elon, and so she did. She called him about a dozen times before she gave up, and he didn’t answer a single time. Sabrina felt helpless, the security of his love was no longer there and she longed for his arms to be around her.

Approximately an hour later, not Elon’s but Alec’s arms were around Sabrina. The pair now sitting in the steps of the main entrance of her house. The red and blue lights of a police car shinning through Sabrina’s tearful eyes.

“You’re safe now, I got you” Alec said, trying to comfort his long time friend.

The man who had broken into Sabrina’s place was the one responsible for the situation at her office too, he was now being taken to the police station.

The lights of a car came flashing across the front yard of Sabrina’s house. The passenger’s door quickly opened to reveal a very distraught Elon. Sabrina tightened her grip on Alec, she was way too traumatized to be dealing with their problems right now.

“Are you okay?” Elon said. “I-“ He looked for the right words to say but no words could describe how powerless he felt. How sorry he was.

“She’s fine” Alec said clenching his jaw.

“It’s fine Alec” Sabrina reassured him and turned to face Elon “And I’m fine”.

A wave of sensations came crashing down on her, he was her safety net, and when she needed him and he wasn’t there it felt like falling into a hard rock floor.

“Ms. Vanderbilt, we need some information” A police officer interrupted, cutting the tension that was building between the three of them.

“Alec, could you?” Sabrina asked.

Alec gave her a resentful look before standing up and walking away with the officer.

“I’m sorry for not picking up the phone” Elon said.

“It’s okay” she said.

But it was not okay.

He sat down next to her. Elon analyzed Sabrina, he looked at her gestures, her eyes, he felt a sudden urge to kiss her, to hold her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was, tell her that everything will be okay and that she can trust him, that no matter what happens he won’t ever leave her cause he loves her so much and she makes him so happy and because his feelings for her are the most sincere thing inside of him.

“What I said earlier, I meant it” Elon said. “No matter what, I’m here with you now... And I love you”

————————

sorry for taking so long again:) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys like it!! Thanks for reading this thing 🤍

🤍🤍 @xjjlex , @ourloveisforthelovely 🤍🤍

[bareillykibarfis]

mess(ed up)

[ GUYS!! Thank you so much for 200 followers!! So, as a gift to you guys, I present to you a Karman fic!! It is based on this post by @legendarilymessedup. Thank you for giving me inspiration to write something!! Hope this reaches your expectations!! ]

You can also read it on ao3: here.

-

Kartik makes sure the flag is correctly set around his neck.

He isn’t nervous. He probably should be, considering what he’s gonna do, but there’s this rush of adrenaline in him, and he feels invincible.

He is so thankful Rajni convinced him to do this. This was his Amitabh Bachhan moment, and he’d be damned if he didn’t saviour every moment of it.

He takes a deep breath. With the microphone in his hand, he steps forward, so he is in everyone’s view.

“Bhaiyon aur Behenon” He does a dramatic turn, ready to give a speech on homophobia, that was bound to leave them speechless. (He’d prepared for it the entire time they’d taken to reach here, and he was proud of it.)

As he turns around, the first thing he sees is all the family gathered in front of the tree, looking at him. He has an audience, exactly what he wan-

And then he sees it. Aman. No, not Aman. A framed photo of him. And the garland of flowers around it.

His heart drops. He looks at the scene below him, frozen. There’s the pundit, and there’s the entire family… except for Aman.

“Chalaa ja yaar.” Aman had said. But, Kartik hadn’t listened. He’d been selfish, he’d stayed. And now…

“A-Aman..”, he whispers. His eyes fill with tears, his throat tightens, and there’s this ache in his chest. Everything hurts.

Aman. Aman. Aman. Where have you gone? It’s unbearable how he feels. He’s crying and crying, and his heart feels so heavy. He drops down on his knees.

“Arey khana to khaale yaar”, Aman always pestered them before they went out for their job.

“Bas kaar na!!”, Aman had laughed that day, when they were both in their bed, and Kartik wouldn’t stop throwing the pillows at him.

“Kya baan raha hai?”, Kartik always asked, himself not helping Aman at all, letting him do all the work in the kitchen. Whatever was the answer, the food was always god-tier. “The secret ingredient is love.”, Aman would always say when asked how he cooked so good.

Who would take care of when and what he ate? Who would love him? Who would he have pillow fights with now?? Who would he call family now??

Kartik’s cries have turned into screams, and they’re horrifying, pain-filled screams. His cheeks are damp with all the tears, and yet they never seem to cease.

How will he ever live with this? It’s all his fault. All of this. He should never have insisted they come here, he should never have kissed him on the train, he should never have stayed. Aman was.. dead.. and it was because of him.

-

Down at the courtyard, the entire Tripathi family is looking at Kartik with a baffled look on their faces.

Champa is the first to realize what’s going on. She looks at Kartik, who is on his knees, and then at the base of the tree, where there’s Aman’s photo, with the flower garland around it, and suddenly it's all clear. Her heart drops for a second.

Kartik is shouting now, and there’s agony written all over his face. Champa decides she has to do something. Something before...

She shakes her head, removing any negative thoughts, and starts going towards the roof. Shankar and Chaman Tripathi, both clueless, watch as she goes past them. “Kaha ja rahi ho?”, there’s an edge to Shankar’s voice, but Champa ignores him. She starts ascending the stairs.

-

Rajni enters the gate. At the sound of the door opening, both men look towards it. Seeing Rajni enter, Chaman’s face immediately lights up with a smile.

“Rajni!! Beta tu aa gai?” he asks. But Rajni pays no heed to his question, she’s looking at Kartik, who is shouting. She’s confused. This wasn’t what they’d plann-

She looks at the courtyard and sees Aman’s photo. And the garland around it. She immediately brings up both her hands to cover her hands, her whole body numbing.

Aman wouldn’t… he couldn’t have.. Shankar and Chaman follow her gaze, and they both finally realize what is going on.

“Nahi.. Beti nahi. Esa kuch nahi hai..”, Chaman starts moving towards his daughter.

“Aghe maat aana aap.” she says, her voice breaking. “Khush hoge na aap log? Ho gayi na aapko tassalli? Tut gayi na Kartik aur Aman ki jodi!!!” She is crying now.

-

Champa reaches the roof. Kartik has stopped screaming and now looks more broken than ever. He’s whispering, “Aman. Aman. Aman.”, like it’s a prayer that will bring him back to life.

“Kartik.” she says. He doesn’t seem to hear her.

She reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. He flinches and turns up to look at who it is.

The look on Kartik’s face breaks Champa’s heart. His eyes are red and swollen, his cheeks are wet with all the tears, he looks heartbroken.

“Kartik. Kuch nahi huwa hai. Sab thik hai.” But he ignores her, and goes back to staring at the floor, whispering the same word, tears falling from his cheek to the ground.

Before she can explain any further, she hears Rajni shout.

-

When Sunaina and Aman get out of the room, Champa is trying to console Kartik, Rajni is crying while Shankar and Chaman are trying to explain to her that everything is fine. “

"Arey, yaha kya ho raha hai??” Sunaina asks. At the sound of her voice, Rajni turns to look towards her.

She sees Aman.

“Aman?” her voice is filled with disbelief. She runs towards him, and hugs him tightly. Aman is confused, but hugs her back. He feels her teardrops on his shoulders. He breaks the his, looks at her and asks, “Kya huwa? Sab thik toh hai?”

As she looks at Aman, she’s reminded of Kartik.

Oh God. Kartik.

“KARTIK!!” she shouts, turning towards the roof.

Champa looks towards them. Rajni points to Kartik, so as to ask her to make him turn around.

-

Kartik feels his entire world crumbling. He feels numb. He has nothing left to live for. His heart is still aching, and he feels so powerless.

“Beta. Dekho toh sahi.” Champa chachi is saying, but he ignores her.

“KARTIK!! KARTIK!!” Rajni’s voice reaches his ears. He turns his head to look towards the direction of the voice.

His vision is blurry from all the tears. But he sees that Rajni is pointing towards someone… Aman?

He wipes his eyes to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. He really hopes he isn’t. He can’t afford to have his heart broken again.

He looks again. Aman. Is. Still. There. Aman. He’s alive.

The feeling he feels in his heart is unreal. This, he realizes, is true happiness. He slowly stands up, his legs shaking. Champa holds his arm, giving him support. He shakily comes down the stairs, looking at Aman the entire time, not blinking even once, afraid he’ll disappear.

Aman has a tired look on his face. He’s wearing glasses, and a shirt which Kartik knows wasn’t Aman’s choice. He looks fed up, like he’s gonna let the world win. Like, he’s ready to give up.

“Aman.” he says just this one word.

“Woh ab Aman nahi hai. Hum usko naya naam de rahe hai. Mar gaya hai Aman.” Shankar Tripathi says, in an icy voice.

Kartik feels anger boiling within him. “Aur kitna karoge aap??” he snas. He points towards Aman. “Dekha hai aapne bete ho?? Halat kya ho gaayi hai?? Khush lag raha hai kya vo?? Kya paaoge ye kar kar??”

“Hum jo bhi kar rahe hai, soch samaj ke kar rahe hai. Tum bich me na aao, warna bhari padega tum pe.” Shankar says, glaring at his own son.

“Arey yaha par ho kya raha hai?? Kya kar rage ho aap log??” Kartik says, exasperated, laying his hands in front of him. “Bete ki aadhi zindagi nahi kati hai aur aap log antim sanskaar karne chale??”

“Hah. Hum Aman ki antim sanskaar kar rahe the. Uska naya janam hone wala tha. Ab yaha se chale jao, warna Aman ke saath tumhara bhi karna na pade.” Shankar Tripathi says, his voice curt and blunt, but mostly angry.

“Yaar..” Kartik puts a hand on his forehead, exasperated. “Laga tha aap log to samjhoge.” he turns around and starts walking away.

Kartik. Is. Walking. Away.

Aman feels helpless. He feels like he should do something, anything. He even opens his mouth to say something, but his mother digs her nails in his arm, so as to say, “No”. He looks at her. She isn’t looking at him, she’s looking at his father, who is glaring at him. He closes his mouth.

What is he to do now? Have they lost this battle?? His heart is breaking. Will they ever see each other again? Where is Kartik?? Is he leaving already, without a single goodbye?

“Chalo suru karte hain.” Shankar Tripathi says in a smug, satisfied voice.

They’re all just going to go to the mandap, when Rajni laughs. “Tauji, aapka problem yaha nahi waha hai.” She points towards the roof.

Aman looks. And there’s his boyfriend. Kartik. Shirtless. The pride flag around his neck. (How had missed all these details before??). A microphone in his hand.

“Bhaiyon aur behenon.” he starts, and Aman feels his heart clench with happiness.

The speech he gives is just iconic. And the look on Shankar Tripathi’s face is quite the sight to see. When Kartik shouts, “Homophobia!!! Homophobia!!! Homophobia!!”, each time doing a different pose, Aman feels his face break into a huge smile. He is so so so proud of Kartik.

Aman’s happiness spell is broken when he hears his father say in a voice filled with anger, “Beta.. Tu wahi ruk.”. Shankar Tripathi then proceeds to go inside the house.

Aman now, free from his father’s angry glared, runs up the stairs to the roof. As soon as Kartik sees him, he practically engulfs him with a hug.

“Tu thik hai.” Kartik says, and Aman feels teardrops on his shoulder.

“Main thik hi to hoon. Mujhe kya hona tha??” he is confused. “Arey, tu ro kyun raha hai?”

Kartik breaks the hug, and Aman sees his eyes are red.

“Yaar.. Tu.. Tu.. Tu maar gaya socha tha maine.” Kartik is crying again.

“Par… kyun..” Aman’s voice trails off as he turns his head towards the courtyard, where he sees the sight below him.

“Oh God.. Kartik” Aman turns towards his boyfriend, whose face is red from all the crying. He cups his face. “I’m alright. I’m right here, okay?” He wipes the tears. “Ab isse pehele ki papa aa jaye, nikalja yaha se.”

Kartik wipes his eyes. “Arey mein kaha jaunga? Kyun kahi jaunga? Aaj to ye solve karke rahunga.”

“Nahi yaar papa tujh ko-” Aman begins, but Kartik cuts him off.

“Bas papa ko shoot karne se rokle. Mere last wishes ke list hai yaar. Sun-” Before Kartik can finish, he sees Shankar Tripathi coming out of the house, holding something in his hand.

IS THAT A GUN??!! Please don’t let it be a gun, I’m not ready to die. God, no, you know I have so much left to do. Please don’t let him kill me.

Aman is pulled back by Champa chachi. Kartik is left all alone.

Shankar Tripathi isn’t carrying a gun (Kartik is so thankful). Instead, he’s carrying a stick, a huge one at that. He has this look of revenge in his eyes... 

Suddenly Kartik is once again a helpless 9 year old, he’s back in his room at Punjab.

“Papa, nahi-”

His father hadn’t even let him complete his sentence. “Ladkon ke saath ghumta reheta hai? Haan??? Sharam nahi aati tujhe?” He’d been hit with the belt once, and then again, and then again. It’d hurt, and he’d cried, but his father had been ruthless, determined to beat the homosexuality out of him.

“Agar firse maine tujhe uss ladke, ya kisi bhi ladke ke saath paya na, toh tujhe kaat ke rakh dunga.” His father’s eyes had been red with anger, and he’s been so scared that day.

Shankar Tripathi’s eyes remind him of his father’s eyes. He gets an uneasy feeling on his stomach. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…

Before he can complete the thought, his eyes meet Aman’s. And he just knows. It’s either him or Aman. The latter one is obviously never going to be an option. So, he straightens his back. Yes, he’s gonna take this. For Aman. He has to. For love, for the-

The first blow lands on his back, and every single thought flies out of his mind. The pain is excruciating. Before he can compose himself, Shankar Tripathi hits him in his shoulders with another blow.

Kartik can hear Aman shouting something, but his ears are ringing and his body is hurting everywhere and he cannot make out a single word. He can hear Chaman chacha shout out, and he can hear the little gasps from Sunaina’s mouth. But he can’t fathom any of it, because Shankar Tripathi just won’t stop hitting him-

Kartik realizes he isn’t hitting him anymore. He freezes, waiting for the next blow. But it never comes. He slowly straightens his back. He looks towards Shankar Tripathi, who is standing with a pained look on his face, his hand on his back. The stick is on the ground now.

This is your chance, Kartik. You can leave if you want to.

He looks at Aman. The look on his face stops him. There’s a look of helplessness in his face, and it breaks Kartik to see him that way. He’s not gonna run away, because running away means leaving Aman alone, and he cannot have his lover’s heart broken.

So, he picks the stick from the ground, and gives it to Shankar Tripathi, who is too shocked to say a single word. Kartik looks at Aman, and nods.

The beating resumes. Kartik doesn’t even have the time to register his pain from one hit when Shankar Tripathi is on him with another.

He can feel himself getting weaker. He doesn’t know how long he can stand up.

Suddenly, he sees Aman. Coming towards him.

Aman. Aman. Aman. I love you so much.

Aman is coming towards him, and his arms are opening, preparing for a warm hug. But, Aman runs past him, up the stairs. He doesn’t even look back once. Kartik is dumbfounded.

-

His father is beating Kartik. And he’s helpless.

Aman is shouting, and trying to get to them, but Chaman is holding him back. He’s fighting, but he’s too weak. He has to do something. Anything.

Suddenly, he sees his father drop the stick; he’s too tired. He looks at Kartik, who looks just about ready to break.

Kartik. Chala ja. Yeh tera mauka hai.

Kartik even looks like he’s contemplating leaving the courtyard. But then, their eyes meet, and Aman knows. Kartik will never leave him alone.

He cannot let this go on anymore. He loves Kartik, so he really hopes he understands. He takes a deep breath.

He runs towards Kartik. Kartik looks so happy, his arms open. Aman ignores him, and runs straight upstairs towards his room. He doesn’t turn back becuase he knows what he will see will break his heart.

He enters the room, and locks the door. He now knows what he has to do.

-

Kartik stares at Aman’s room in shock. He just.. really went in like that??

For a moment, Kartik is baffled. But then, he realizes. He is trying to get all of this to stop. It only makes sense, Shankar wa-

Before he can complete his thought, Shankar Tripathi is back in his business. It’s even more unbearable now.

Just as Kartik feels like he’s gonna pass out, he hears the sound of the stick dropping, and Shankar Tripathi sighing in defeat. He looks up to see his tired face. He looks around and the entire Tripathi family looks shocked.

He spots a tap at the far side. He staggers towards it, and opens it. He then ducks under the tap so the water falls on his head.

The cold water jolts his body back to life. His steps still faltering, he stands up, facing towards the Tripathi family.

“My sexuality,” he points to himself. “is my sexuality. None of your sexuality.” Immediately after this, he feels his body give away, and he falls, losing consciousness.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Wolf-Staken || Morgan & Ulfric

@big-bad-ulf

Morgan and Ulfric run into each other in the woods. Neither find exactly what they’re looking for.

The world had become a veil to float through. As Morgan ambled through the woods, she pressed her hand to every tree and branch that passed near her fingers. Testing to see if they would notice her, if her touch would matter in a way they couldn’t seem to matter to her. A freak snow was falling in from the west, but Morgan waded through the underbrush in her thin jeans and college hoodie as steadily as if it were a clear evening. She was almost at the clearing Deirdre had taken her to twice before. There had to be deer nearby, or a roost of chipmunks. The deer she’d killed had to have come from somewhere. She scanned the trees, searching for signs of life. A heartbeat. A rustle of leaves, something that even her new body would catch. And suddenly there was. A brown rabbit nosing out from the wet leaves, checking its surroundings. Poor thing. It was never going to be enough. Morgan crouched low into the ground. Hovering just over the grass. She tilted her head, imagining what it looked like to be that helpless at the bottom of the world, to understand how beyond your grasp the order of the earth was just by looking around. Morgan reached out for it. The end of her thought wasn’t clear, but the want was strong enough to propel her, fingers brushing over its fur--

The rabbit leapt away. Morgan dove, arms closing around air. She scrambled up to all fours, only feet above the rabbit’s height and launched herself again. For a moment it was around her and she had a sense, her face buried in its matted fur, its heart pounding in her ear as if was about to burst, as if it was about to die-- Morgan gasped and the rabbit wriggled out, kicking its haunches square into the side of her face. Morgan went splat, rolled onto her back, and willed a deep sigh though her body. The bottom of the world, she thought, staring up at the sky. Didn’t seem all that different from the view from death.

It was a flash of dark hair and pale skin deeper into the forest that had captured Ulfric’s attention first. All his nerves alighted at once from the glimpse of that family contrast, and he found he was as powerless to keep from following it as he was to keep from howling when the moon was clear and bright. But there was barely a silvery sliver in the sky this night, and his senses frustratingly muted. Unable to rely on scent and sound to identify her from a distance, he trailed the woman cautiously at a slightly higher elevation, keeping his face towards the snowfall to ensure he stayed upwind and undetected as he observed her. To his simultaneous relief and disappointment he quickly realized his quarry couldn’t be Diana Aquilla. On closer inspection she looked too young, and the way she scrambled for purchase through the trees didn’t fit with what he’d seen of hunters. They tended to drift detached from their surroundings, single-mindedly focussed on their targets like cruel mockeries of the angel of death. A lost hiker then? Ulfric pulled his body closer in line with one of the towering pines between them, concealing his silhouette. Maybe a few convincing growls from something lurking in the woods convince her to turn back? Then he could continue his patrol without distraction. Softly, he cleared his throat in preparation but it transformed into a surprised splutter as the woman pounced, or rather, made a very pitiable attempt to pounce on the rabbit. “It’s not polite to play with your food. Nor is it to trespass, for that matter,” the werewolf commented drly from his still concealed position. If she was spawn, or some other creature lacking the capacity for anything but mindless feasting, she’d attack at the sound of his voice and this detour would be dealt with quickly. If she didn’t, then deciding what to do next would get more complicated, but also certainly more interesting.

Morgan looked up from the ground, embarrassed. She was a miserable zombie, she knew that, but it was weirder and harder now that she had an audience. She picked herself up enough to dust off her hands and rub the dirt from her sleeves. The man looking over her was more or less what she would expect from a mountain man this far up north. Not enough weapons compared to the last two hunters she’d seen to be one, she hoped. “I-I wasn’t...playing,” she said. Although, for as ineffective as she was, she might as well have been. Maybe she should’ve lied. But trespassing, that was a lot less good than bad brain hunting. “I thought this was just...the woods?” Weren’t they just there? Had she gotten lost? Oh, shit, she had totally gotten lost. Morgan began to crawl back, grateful to not be able to sweat anymore. “But uh...obviously, they’re not. So, I can just...go be...somewhere else?” she said.

“The property line’s about a quarter-mile back the way you came,” Ulfric informed the woman, inclining his head slightly in that direction, squinting to see if he could make out any figures following her. Apart from the rabbit she’d let slip the forest appeared to be still. “You wouldn’t be the first to miss it.” Or to ignore it, as could still prove to be the case. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, the creature in front of him was in a wretched enough state that he couldn’t rule out the possibility that she’d been sent to scout ahead of the Aquilla hunting party in exchange for being spared their wrath. It would certainly fit the family’s odd history of trying to tame nonhuman creatures. “I wouldn’t go back the way you came. You might meet someone less forgiving than me.” The wolf stepped slowly towards the woman as he spoke, corralling her further into the clearing, where the denser snow would mean less secure footing if she did try to attack or flee. “Answer a few questions, and I’ll show you a shortcut back to the road,” he continued, not asking or bargaining but instructing. “What’s your name?”

Morgan slid her attention back behind her as the mountain man checked the horizon. The more she followed small game around the woods, waiting for them to die, the more she realized how much she spent her existence acting like prey. Was that why Constance had been so sure of herself and her curse? Could she see it in her, how small and ineffectual she was? There was nothing behind her that she could see, but his warning gave her little comfort. Morgan tensed, ready to run, but forced herself still. What could he really do to her? Kill her again? The knockers in the cave of voices had tried that. No luck there. “I was just walking,” she offered stupidly. And then she’d gotten a little rumbly and a little sad. And then the rabbit was just...there. She’d wanted to remember, and she’d liked the prospect of a meal after. But that wasn’t anything to explain to a stranger. “...I’m Morgan,” she said. Her name sounded strange in her own mouth as an introduction. She didn’t feel like Morgan, not as a matter of course, but there weren’t any other names she could offer in turn. “Morgan Beck,” she said again, shrugging. “If I’m following your advice, can I at least know who you are too?”

“I’m Ulfric. We’ve spoken before, Morgan,” Ulfric answered, the name jogging his memory of conversations he’d meant to follow on before he’d found himself spending all his free time playing guard dog. Morgan Beck; seller of rocks, lover of the outdoors and seemingly to be the only other person in town who knew the names of the full moons. The signals she’d been sending out online practically howled werewolf, and catching her midhunt in the middle of the woods would’ve confirmed his suspicions if it weren't for the fact that she was trying to catch her prey with her bare humanoid hands. Was this the influence of hunters then? She seemed rather under-responsive for someone who’d been cornered in the woods. Maybe they’d used wolfsbane to disorient her? Or maybe she was new enough to this to not believe what was happening was real? “Were you hoping to find something on your walk? Or is something looking for you?” He backed up, not taking his eyes on her, but motioning that she should follow as he continued to question her. “I can help you, Morgan, if you’re honest with me.”

“Ulfric…” Morgan had to dig back deep to remember that one. Everything before the crash, before Constance sent her into hyperdrive on a bullshit cursed errand. But she remembered him: the kind sounding man with the tattoo parlor, who drew and was away from his family and admired the moon and the flowers. Morgan relaxed her stance and followed behind him, casting one more look over her shoulder, just in case something was coming up behind them. No sign. “I remember you too, yeah,” she said. “You don’t seem like the kind to lead me into a murder pit or anything, but you can say if you are. Honesty’s the best policy,” she said, laughing dryly. “You seemed kind, is what I mean. And no, nothing is looking for me that I know of, though your warning about less forgiving people currently has me slightly spooked.” Not that anything would hurt even if she did find someone, but the sight of her bones reconstructing themselves and growing sinew still made her stomach turn. It didn’t feel cool or special. It felt wrong. She trotted a little closer to him. “I just need a way out of here. I don’t mean to be any trouble. I’m expected home soon.”

“Good, that’s what I intended.” Ulfric replied tersely when Morgan mentioned being spooked by his words of caution, but his posture relaxed slightly. With the new moon preventing him getting a read on her heart rate, he had to trust his gut on whether she was sincere but her earnest words seemed to suggest so. “I’ve got no intention of hurting anyone who doesn’t intend to hurt me,” he reassured her, not mentioning what he’d do to those intending to harm people he’d chosen to protect in order to keep from compromising the Bennetts’ safe haven. He also didn’t bother to press her on where exactly her ‘home’ was in case that tipped her evaluation of him more towards being the type who would have a murder pit, confident he could track her down by her business if he needed to. Instead the werewolf gestured with a finger to his lips that she should remain quiet, before turning to scan the trees ahead for threats, trusting that she wouldn’t be one as she trailed behind. The stoic silence continued until they reached a creek which he knew would lead them towards Torrance Street while giving the trailer where the young wolf and her sister were sheltering a wide berth. The flowing water deepened by melting snow also conveniently muffled his words as he spoke again. “Are you planning on hunting like this often? I wouldn’t recommend it in your… current state.” He said referring to her blunted teeth and nails and general dazed demeanour. “But I can give you some tips, if you really insist on it.”

Morgan didn’t mind the silence. In time, she fell in step with Ulfric’s pace and was able to lift up from herself, her own secret ghost, and float away to somewhere else like a runaway balloon. She barely noticed the terrain they passed and stopped only because Ulfric was too imposing a figure to miss even with her consciousness half missing. “O-oh,” she said. She hadn’t thought that far ahead, and she wasn’t sure what to make of Ulfric noticing how not-all-there she was. No one else felt compelled to comment on it, and the animals didn’t mind her. There were times when she felt invisible even to herself, the way she imagined ghosts felt all the time.  “I don’t know. Not if it’s gonna go like this,” she deadpanned. She realized, too late, that under the circumstances she ought to exercise a little more care. “I um...you know, it’s a weird story you probably don’t wanna know, but...I don’t have to, exactly. But in a pinch, well--if you did know how to do that without having to get, like, a gun or anything, that would be appreciated. For in a pinch.”

“No guns,” Ulfric agreed, scowling in distaste at the suggestion. “You’ll want to work on your approach. No offence, but you’re easy to hear coming”. As he picked up the pace to lead Morgan out of his domain, he rattled off the instructions that had been drilled into him a million times before his parents had deemed him ready for tracking prey in human form. “When you have locked on to your target, try moving towards it with one foot directly in front of the other, like you're walking on a tightrope. That’ll force you to focus on evenly distributing your weight.” He slowed for a moment demonstrating along the ridge of the creek’s edge for a few paces. “You don’t want to bring your whole foot down at once either. Just make contact heel and then roll it forward. If you feel something unstable, just shift it softly to the side.” He brought the toe of one worn boot gently down against a brittle branch on the forest floor but slid off it silently pushing it aside before it could break. That way you won’t snap every twig between here and Bangor.” Noticing a small cross carved into the trunk of a pine ahead, marking the outer boundary of his homestead proper, he turned back to Morgan and held his hand out for her to stop. “Wait here, and I call you ahead in a moment,” Ulfric ordered. “Or you could try and sneak up on me. You could use the practice.” His tone grew a touch more friendly at the amusing mental picture. “I wouldn’t go running off in any other direction though, don’t want to lose your way again.”

Morgan was pretty sure that general incompetence at anything outside her niche fields of expertise hadn’t been what Deirdre meant when she said the bones of herself remained. And it had been, Morgan wanted to petition the underworld for better bones to preserve. She followed Ulfric’s instructions as he gave them, recentering herself awkwardly as her center of gravity shifted. He wasn’t kidding about the focus part. She did her best with the placement of her feet, although it brought back shameful memories of her brief stint in ballet class. She wobbled in the leaves as her thoughts wandered into those dusty alive memories and snapped back to attention with a sheepish expression.

“Yeah, don’t worry about that,” Morgan deadpanned. She rolled her eyes ruefully and smirked at the suggestion she could successfully sneak, but as soon as Ulfric had put some distance from her, Morgan felt a pull to test him on his suggestion. Slowly, centering herself on her toes first, she began to creep, one foot directly in front of the other. Slow and mindful of the twigs. The wind rose around her and she winced, wondering how much of the rustling grass was her, and how much was the restless earth. She adjusted herself and continued until she was close enough to call, “Boo!”

Ulfric surged ahead of Morgan, breaking through the tree line. With a sigh of relief he saw that all the lights in his trailer were off, the silhouette of the structure that stood on the opposite side of the clearing barely distinguishable from the dense curtain of forest behind it. Even if her eyesight was as good as his in the dark, he was fairly certain she’d miss it without knowing where to look for it. Confident that the Bennets were safely concealed, he made to call back to the strange straggler he’d picked up in the woods, but picked on the soft swish of frost dampened grass a few feet behind him. Pivoting on the spot, he turned to face Morgan just as she’d uttered her triumphant exclamation. “Better,” He offered her gruff but sincere praise. She was a fast learner, and now he was relatively sure she wasn’t a threat, at least not to anyone but herself, that could be considered a positive. “You’ll need to practice until you can do it without really thinking. But for now, it’s a start. Come on,” he ushered her along at an unforgiving speed, keen to get her far away from where his unlikely wards were hiding. Before long they came to a fence, which he swiftly climbed over, extending a hand to help her do the same once he was on the other side. “The road’s just here, heading east will take you back towards town. Don’t linger too long. I was serious about there being things less friendly than me lurking in these woods,” Ulfric instructed her, glad to be able to return to his watch duty, but a little disappointed he hadn’t been able to figure her out; was she an inexperienced and admittedly very strange wolf as he suspected? Or something unknown and even stranger? “I would like to hear that long story though, when it’s a better time.”

Morgan deflated with a half-hearted huff as Ulfric turned, knowing exactly where she was behind him, perhaps even the whole time. Still, it was kind of him to smile and tell her she was getting better. If things got scarce at the butcher’s, she might be able to rely on his advice to actually help her catch something. She wobbled over the fence, strong but inexperienced in using her body this way. She held on tight to Ulfric’s sleeve the whole way down. “Thank you,” she told him. “I appreciate it, really.” He even seemed to mean it when he said he wanted to know what her story was. And his voice was so kind she wanted to believe him. She winced, knowing with her luck it wasn’t true. “Not sure I know how to tell it in a way you’d believe,” she said. “But you are someone I’d like to know. Maybe I’ll scrape enough dollars together to come into your shop sometime soon, if that’s, um, if that would be okay?” She began to inch towards the road. She was still learning how to be around people besides Deirdre; so far that was adding up to a lot of awkward and apology.

“You’re welcome,” Ulfric replied, easing her onto the ground, though he wasn’t sure how helpful he’d actually been. At best he’d reduced her chances of running into one vicious cabal of hunters for one night, but there were bound to be more out there and he doubted the way in which she seemed lost could be fixed by something as simple as directions back to town. At Morgan’s suggestion that he’d find her story far-fetched, he scoffed. “I think you’d be surprised what I’m capable of believing.” He was fairly certain the bar for what he’d considered unbelievable had dropped a few feet from its already low starting point since he’d lived in White Crest, the only thing he was skeptical of now was that there was anything left in the world that could shock him. “You would be welcome to stop by,” He insisted, hopeful that she would find him again despite the cautious reception and his eagerness to send her away for the time being. There would come a time when her disorientation would pose more of a threat to her than the chance of being caught in the crossfire of the Bennett’s bounty, and he would miss their chats if she fell victim to dangers she wasn’t aware of.  “Don’t stray from the road,” the werewolf called out a final instruction, but he was already fading back into the forest, adopting again the familiar cloak of shadows and silence that would conceal him as he waited for signs of his intended quarry.

[groundzerobakugo]

running with the wolves // e. kirishima; werewolf

 gender in this imagine will be female, if you wish for me to create this with male or genderneutral pronouns please feel free to send a message my way! i would be happy to help!

word count: 4.6k

summary: you and your best friend were attacked by a wild animal during a camping trip, and as the sole survivor of the attack, it left you with more than just scarring. a redheaded werewolf realizes what had happened to you, and offers his help.

...

  “we’re gathered here to today to mourn the death of a wonderful soul.”

  you’d sat on the steps of the church with a heavy heart in the pouring rain, just a simple hoodie over your head.

  “an angel who was taken from us too soon.”

  tears dribbled down your cheeks, small sobs racking your insides.

  “they were only nineteen, with their whole life ahead of them, but god had chosen a different path for them.”

  there was a bitter taste on your tongue as you listened to the priest prattle on about your friend.

  “while only here a short time, they’d touched the hearts of all of us here.”

  it was supposed to be a simple, short, and fun camping trip.

  “please join us in prayer as we say goodbye to our beloved angel.”

  the worst that could happen was you forgot the tent and had to sleep out under the stars, or they’d forgotten the bug spray and the two of you would complain about the mosquito bites for the next week or two. not some wild beast tearing through your campsite and ripping your best friend to shreds right in front of you. not leaving you alone in a hospital for weeks as doctors attempted to heal your wounds, both mental and physical.

  the church doors began to creak open, and you stood in a haste, taking a random direction down the street and hurrying away before your friend’s parents could see you. they didn’t blame you, they never would, but you did. you blamed yourself, and you could never forgive yourself.

  especially since you became the thing that killed her.

  it had been the first night out of the hospital, almost a month after the attack when you’d had the first transformation, the only transformation so far. it only made you wish even more that the beast had finished you off before fleeing as the park rangers appeared.

  bones breaking and clicking back into place, your skin ripping apart and pulling back together, your body lighting itself on fire and a wave of ice coming to ease the flame. five whole hours of excruciating pain; of bones breaking, skin tearing, skin alight, and head exploding. you’d never felt so powerless, so helpless, so weak than that first transformation.

  the memory made you flinch, and you shook your head to be rid of it.

  down the street, you could smell the bakery on the corner, and just a little ways further the flower shop you’d worked at in high school, and one shop down from there the deli. in the opposite direction, there was the fast-food chain restaurant your friend and you used to frequent, and then the bitter old woman who lived above a pawn shop who had tomatoes growing along the porch. all of which, you could smell despite still standing a couple blocks down from each shop.

  you could hear the employees in the coffee shop shit-talking customers from the back of house, and the businessman yelling at his secretary for buying the wrong gift for his wife from the firm a couple hundred feet away on the sixth floor, and the homeless man and police officer chatting down the alleyway just down a few buildings clear as day.

  it was a symptom that came with the disease of turning into a beast once a month. every single sense was heightened; sight, sound, taste, touch, smell. one of the many, along with quickened healing, faster metabolism, enhanced stamina, agility, and strength.

  the rain continued to pour from the sky, and you dipped into a random coffee shop to take cover. it wasn’t too crowded, just a few people seated here and there. most had their laptops out, a few notebooks; they must have been college students. coming into the coffee shop to finish up assignments and studying for upcoming midterms.

  you should have been one of them, you thought bitterly.

  someone bumped into you, and a fire lit in the pit of your stomach, anger that came with the disease. deep breaths. it was an accident, they’re not actually trying to hurt you. you turned towards the girl, slight scowl on your face.

  “i’m sorry! i totally wasn’t watching where i was going!” a girl apologized.

  you shook your head. “it-it’s fine. don’t worry about it.”

  “let me buy you a drink to make up for it,” she offered.

  you hesitated.

  “i insist, please. what do you want? coffee, cappuccino, latte, macchiato?”

  “you don’t have to--”

  “i’ll get you a chai tea latte,” she said, already turning to approach the register.

  it didn’t look like you had a choice, and you stuffed your hands into your pockets with a huff, joining her in line. “make it a dirty chai.”

  she looked at you from the corner of her eye, a smile creeping up on her lips. “i’m ashido, by the way.”

  “(name),” you said. “nice to meet you.”

  “pleasure’s all mine,” she replied. “do you go to the college down the street?”

  “used to,” you muttered.

  her eyes widened. “you already graduated?!”

  with a shake of your head, you said, “dropped out.”

  “oh, gotcha. i mean, college isn’t right for everyone. hell, i never even started. too dumb for that stuff,” she laughed.

  the conversation was put on hold as she told the barista the order. the girl had the pinkest, cotton-candy, bubblegum pink hair you’d ever seen, and it was obvious she kept up with it. her roots weren’t even tinged with whatever natural color she had, and she’d even dyed her eyebrows to match. she must have gone to a beauty school of some sort; there was one just a few stores down from the coffee shop, she probably went there.

  “where would you like to sit?” she turned to you, shoving a platinum credit card into her wallet.

  you bit your lip. “oh, i... i really shouldn’t.”

  making friends wasn’t on your to-do list. not with the new disease, the one that made you turn into a wild animal and a danger to society. you couldn’t risk anyone finding out, nor could you risk accidentally hurting someone. until you found a cure, you wouldn’t allow yourself to make friends.

  “awh, please? at least until my friends show up?” she pouted, round, golden eyes pleading with you.

  “i... i don’t know--”

  “pretty, pretty please, with a cherry on top?”

  come on, (name), she just bought you a dirty chai. it’s the least you could do.

  “i guess,” you said.

  a bright grin spread across her face. “thank you so much!”

  you nodded. “sure.”

  ashido led you to a small table near the window, and you sat down, your eyes glued to the downpour outside. a mother and her child walking down the street, umbrella over their heads and bright yellow rain boots on the child’s feet. a man in a tracksuit running down the street on his daily jog despite the rain. a young girl in her twenties walked by the shop window, balancing an umbrella in one and texting on her phone with the other.

  mundane, simple, and yet you craved that simplicity.

  “(name)?” ashido asked, leaning over to wave her hand in front of your face.

  you blinked, turning away from the window and to the company across the table. “sorry.”

  she shook her head. “it’s fine! we all blank out sometimes. but, i was asking you if you hang around here often, i’m sure i’ve seen your face before.”

  your lips straightened into a frown. “i... i was on the news, and i was in the paper about two months ago.”

  her eyebrows furrowed. “really? what for?”

  a weight laid on your chest, and you swallowed around a large ball of emotion in your throat. “my friend and i were camping when we were attacked by some wild animal. she, uh, she died, completely torn apart and unrecognizable.”

  her jaw dropped, and her eyes glistened with pity. “oh my god,” she said in a hollow voice. “i’m so, so sorry.”

  “don’t be,” you muttered. “her funeral was today, she had a good service, she would have hated it.”

  ashido’s eyes softened. “well, it’s good you went to the funeral.”

  a snort. “i didn’t.”

  “b-but--”

  “i sat outside crying, and afterward, i came to a coffee shop to get out of the rain and got a free drink,” you said, voice dull, emotionless, monotonous.

  the girl opened her mouth, but you stood abruptly and cut her off.

  “your friends are here, i should get going. thanks for the drink.”

  you turned robotically on your heel, passing by a group of loud boys arguing and laughing over something trivial from outside. a blond with a permanent scowl, another blond with a streak of black in his hair shaped like a lightning bolt that looked like he was trying all too hard to be edgy, a black-haired boy choosing to stay the neutral party and laugh of the angry blond’s expense, and finally a redhead with bright eyes and a wide smile.

  the redhead took a step back, his shoulder bumping hard into your back and sending you stumbling forward. a surge of heat filled you, and you closed your eyes, beginning to take a few deep breaths. it’s fine, everything’s fine, just an accident, just like earlier, it’s all go--

  “oh shit, sorry! didn’t see you there!” the redhead spinning around from his friends, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “are you okay?”

  “fine,” you grumbled and stalked out of the coffee shop.

  kirishima turned back to his friends; a weird feeling nestled deep in the pit of his stomach, something so foreign and yet so familiar.

  “you good, bro? that chick looked ready to blow up,” kaminari said.

  “yeah, i’m good!” his eyes followed you as you passed by the window, his smile fading slightly. “i’m gonna go sit with ashido. order me something?”

  “sure, bro.”

  kirishima walked over to ashido’s table, the pink-haired girl had wide eyes and bit her lip anxiously. the boy’s brows furrowed. “you okay?”

  ashido’s eyes focused on the redhead. “that girl... she’s the one from the news a couple months ago.”

  “what do you mean? who?” the redhead asked.

  “the girl who bumped into you,” she replied. “she... her and her friend... they were attacked by a... you know, and her friend fucking died.”

  kirishima’s heart plummeted. he’d seen the news report. two local young women had gone camping in the mountains; one had been completely torn to shreds, unrecognizable, and the other looked just as bad, but she had just enough of a pulse for the doctors to try everything they had to help her. they said it had to have been a bear, or a wolf, maybe even a mountain lion.

  but it wasn’t, and the redhead knew exactly what had attacked them. and he knew that being the survivor left you with more than trauma and scars. but, unlike him, you didn’t have anyone to help you.

  he set his jaw and looked out the window. he had to find you.

...

  you woke in a cold sweat, your head pounding. it felt like you had one of the worst sicknesses you’d ever experienced, but you knew it wasn’t. that goddamned transformation was just a couple days away, and your body was preparing for it. every joint ached as you moved, but you stood from your bed and shuffled over to the window.

  the sun was still hidden and just beginning to make its way towards you, the city was just beginning to wake up and get ready for their six am jobs, and the moon overhead still peaked through the clouds; a waxing light that you would once count as beautiful. it made your stomach twist at the sight.

  you changed into a pair of leggings, a long-sleeved shirt, and slipped on a pair of running shoes. you’d found the one “cure” that came with the symptoms of an upcoming change was exercise. the beast within loved to move, and the activity seemed to wear it down just enough for you to tire out and let it allow you to fall asleep. 

  the streets were quiet with the occasional car passing through. taxis, sedans, a couple motorbikes. trucks were rare to see in the big city; a change from where your parents lived. originally, you’d moved to tokyo for college, and through it, you’d met your best friend. the same best friend whose flesh you watched get shredded and the same one whose blood stained your skin as you stared in horror at the best slaughtering her.

  an uncomfortable shiver ran through you.

  it was hard to remember what happened after you’d witnessed your friend’s slaughter. you’d remembered being terrified, frozen in fear, and your brain had shut off completely. but then, you could remember the slice of razor sharp claws entering your shoulder, ripping through you, the oddly warm blood spilling down your skin, staining your sweatshirt, the way the beast’s hot breath breathed down your neck, drool dribbling down its teeth gleaming in the moonlight.

  the next you knew, you woke up in a hospital with your parents asleep on the chairs next to your bed, your best friend’s parents next to them. you remembered asking about your friend, and then your screaming as you recalled the attack until the doctors sedated you.

  a recognizable yet unfamiliar scent crossed your path, and you stopped in your tracks. you knew all of your friends’ scents, your families’ scent, even your coworkers’. but it didn’t belong to them, it was one you’d come across once before without formerly meeting the person, yet the beast within kept it on record for reasons you knew not.

  you cast a discreet glance over your shoulder but saw no one. the sidewalk was barren, only the flower petals from the cherry blossom trees floated past and the odd piece of trash. so, deeming it to be unnecessary of your attention, you’d kept walking.

  the sun was beginning to break the horizon, and the sky lit up into a dull gray. there were a few more cars passing, and people were starting to leave their houses and apartments, bakeries now displaying colorful confections and coffee shops cracking their windows open to draw customers in with their lovely aroma. the alarm for 7:15 on your phone went off.

  a full hour, and there was still an itch to your skin; the beast wasn’t tired yet, so you shut off your alarm and started to run.

  the wind whipped at your cheeks, nose turning a light pink color. the cool morning air felt nice with the touch of fever you had, which you knew was only to get worse the next couple days until the full moon passed. you watched as the world flew by you, but your eyes could track everything perfectly as you passed, as though you were going for a light jog to see the city. 

  but then you turned a corner, and your body collided into a wall of flesh.

  you stumbled back, dazed. “sorry, i-i wasn’t watching.” you flashed them a polite smile, but then the scent you’d smelled earlier had come back--much, much stronger.

  tall, vibrant red hair perfectly spiked, bright, toothy grin. “it’s all good!”

  the smile on your face deflated a bit. “do i know you from somewhere? you...,” smell, “look familiar.”

  he laughed nervously, one hand scratching the back of his neck. “kind of? well, i think i actually bumped into at the coffee shop the other day.”

  a light flickered on in your head. “oh. now i remember.”

  “i’m kirishima, by the way,” the redhead said, smile bright.

  “(name),” you replied, almost immediately regretting it. he wanted to be friends. you didn’t want friends. not with your secret.

  his eyes scanned your face, and the smile dropped completely. “are you doing okay?”

  you scoffed. “recognize me from the news, too?”

  “what? no, i meant you look kind of sick,” he said. “sorry if that’s rude.”

  “si-sick?” your eyes widened. “no, it’s... it’s not rude, i guess? not too sure how to really answer that. when most people ask if i’m feeling okay, it’s because they know me as the girl whose best friend died and then nearly died herself, both from a freak animal attack, so to be asked because i look sick is a bit of change, and i’m rambling, sorry.”

  “all good!” he laughed. “i get it! though if you are sick, you should be at home and resting, not running a marathon outside in cold weather.”

  you sighed. “i am, but... i just needed to get out of the house.”

  kirishima’s eyes flickered with something that looked like he knew exactly what you were talking about, but you blinked, knowing he couldn’t. the chances of bumping into another werewolf were slim to none, and the redhead seemed too nice to be a terrifying beast.

  “i should be going,” you said.

  “o-oh, uh, sure! i can walk you home if you want?” he asked, a nervous smile on his face. you could hear his heartbeat quicken in his chest.

  you shook your head. “that won’t be necessary. but thank you.”

  his shoulders deflated a tad. “okay, well, i’ll see you around then!”

  “sure,” you muttered, but you weren’t so sure you would.

...

  an uncomfortable itch settled itself in your forearm, and you scratched it absentmindedly as you headed home from work. 

  you’d begged your boss for a morning shift that day, but with the serious decrease in employees due to midterms he couldn’t grant your wishes. it was possibly the longest and most painful shift you’d ever worked; however, you put on a grand smile and worked through the pain. you didn’t want anyone to grow suspicious.

  every night breeze felt like sandpaper, and your stomach was flipping, bile bubbling and threatening to crawl up your throat. every joint ached, and you had half a mind to just hide in an alleyway and hope for the best come morning. 

  but you had to keep going, had to get home into the safety of your apartment.

  you hurried towards a nearby planter and emptied the contents of your stomach into the once-pretty flowers. you stayed still for a moment, letting the strings of throw up drip onto the flower petals. when your stomach settled down once again, you stood up straight and wiped it away with the sleeve of your hoodie. there was no time for stopping, the change was coming quick.

  people cast various glances in your direction, worried eyes and concerned brows and pursed lips. they watched as you staggered along, crouched over slightly, pale and sickly looking.

  “what’s wrong with her?”

  “do you think it’s contagious?”

  “don’t you think she should be in a hospital?”

  “looks pretty bad.”

  “don’t look, i don’t want to get involved.”

  you tripped over your feet, shoulder hitting the wall, and you braced yourself against the brick, reveling in the coolness against the heat of your fever. the clouds overhead drifted through the night sky, revealing the full moon in all its glory, and the pain in your head intensified tenfold.

  whimpering to yourself, you trudged on, trying with all you effort to avoid bumping into everyone. most avoided you and made a three foot circle around you trying not to get within a certain distance.

  just a few more blocks, you told yourself.

  a few more.

  almost there.

  you stumbled, dizzy and unable to see straight. the headache that was once just an annoying buzz had become a harsh ringing in your ears, feeling as though someone was drilling into your head. you grabbed onto a lamppost before your shaky knees could collapse under you.

  something dribbled down your top lip, and you cautiously touched a trembling finger to it, eyes widening as you realized your nose had started bleeding. you stared at it for a moment, unaware of the redhead approaching you.

  “(name)?”

  you jumped and looked up. “ki-kirishima. n-not now. i...,” you gulped. “i need to get home.”

  red eyes scanned your form, “shit, you don’t have a lot of time.”

  “what—” you groaned, doubling over. a series of pops and cracks traveled down your back, spine jutting out from under your shirt and stretching the skin so tight you could almost hear it tear. “i... please, ge-get away.”

  but the redhead shook his head. “no. i’m not letting you go through this alone, not like i did.”

  your brows furrowed. “i don’t—“

  “i can help, just come with me. i’ll explain after,” he grabbed your arm and draped it across his shoulders, his free arm wrapping around your waist and holding you up.

  a scent of some sort, one that smelt of home and comfort, filled your senses, and you couldn’t help but ease into kirishima despite the pain running rampant due to the change. it filled you with a false sense of security, but one you never wanted to leave.

  you could hardly walk straight or see through the hazed cloudiness in front of your eyes, every street lamp and neon open sign burring into a sharp mix of color that hurt your eyes. but despite being unable to hold yourself up, kirishima didn’t struggle in the least to keep you upright and semi-walking.

  the streets underfoot turned into dead leaves and twigs that snapped under every step as kirishima led you into the woods. a part of you began to panic; the woods weren’t safe. there were campers and hikers, people you could potentially hurt.

  the redhead seemed to pick up on your distress immediately, and his grip on your waist tightened. “don’t worry.”

  “i-i shouldn’t be here,” you replied, your voice cutting off into a hiss as your headache worsened.

  “i won’t let you hurt anyone, okay?”

  you looked up at kirishima, his eyes and smile reassuring, but before you could reply, one of your rips popped. you screamed, dropping from his hold and falling to your knees. another one popped, and you whimpered to yourself.

  “shit,” kirishima muttered to himself. you two still weren’t deep enough into the woods. but there was nothing he could do to stop the change.

  kirishima placed a hand between your shoulder blades, rubbing it soothingly as you whimpered and groaned.

  it had felt like hours as you painstakingly went through with your second transformation. every single fiber of your being felt like it had been lit aflame; skin tearing and bones breaking. your nose and jaw stretched into a snout, fur sprouted from the little tiny hairs on your body, your wrists and ankles thickened and lengthened. and at some point, you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head and everything turned black.

...

  small rays of sunlight entered through the cracked blinds, window open just a tad to allow in the morning breeze, the scent of a bakery wafting through. there was a peacefulness to the air, and another scent that stood out before the bakery, a vague and familiar scent. the one that smelled of home and safety and strangely like the forest after it rained.

  you curled into the bed and tightened your grip on the pillow in your arms, hugging it close to you. they smelled the strongest of the curious scent, and you sighed into the pillow. whatever it was, you knew you didn’t want it to go.

  “if this is a dream, i never want to wake up,” you murmured aloud, speaking it to the gods, the deities, to kami, whoever was listening. you snuggled deep into the blanket, basking in the warmth.

  but, the side effects of the reverse change were slowly coming on as you regained consciousness. headache, nausea, chills; your stomach flipped, and you grabbed a mini trashcan from underneath the bedside table. deep crimson liquid and bits of hide and undigested meat filled the can.

  a door creaked open, and you peaked out from the curtain of hair blocking your view, seeing the redhead you’d bumped into a few days ago. his soft smile turned into a small frown. he noticed the trashcan you’d pulled into your lap and sat behind you on the bed, twisting your hair back and holding it there as you continued to puke the contents of last night’s full moon snack.

  “sorry,” he said. “it’s rough the first few months, at least until you get the hang of it.”

  you spit into the can. “thanks,” you mumbled, talking about him holding your hair back and staying with you. kirishima passed you a tissue, and you wiped your mouth with it, grimacing at the leftover taste in your mouth.

  “there’s a spare toothbrush and some mouthwash in the bathroom if you’d like.” the redhead pointed over his shoulder. “you clean up, i’ll take care of the trashcan and make some coffee. then, i’ll explain everything.”

  you could only nod, heading towards the bathroom.

  it didn’t take long, and you were thankful to get the taste of vomit and blood out of your mouth, even removing a tendon from between your teeth. you sat back down on the bed and curled your knees to your chest. the smell of comfort and home was still prominent in the air, and you breathed it in deeply. an action that caused kirishima to blush as he entered the room again, clearing his throat as he offered you a cup of coffee.

  the redhead sat down opposite to you, and you waited for him to speak.

  “i know i said i’d explain everything, but...,” he looked up, sheepish smile on his face, “i’m not too sure where to begin.”

  “well, i’m a... werewolf, right?” you asked.

  he nodded. “you are. and so am i.”

  “okay... how did you become one?”

  “my best friend turned me,” he replied. “he’d asked me if it was what i wanted, explained the dangers and everything. i said yes, and he helped me throughout the whole process.”

  your brow furrowed. “you were... asked?”

  kirishima nodded. “that’s usually how it goes. feral werewolves are uncommon, so, what happened to you never should have happened. however, it did, and it sucks, which is why i’m here to offer my help.”

  “you want to help me... what, exactly?”

  “well, to control the beast within and teach you everything i was taught.”

  your eyes widened. “so, there is a way to control it?”

  the redhead couldn’t help but smile at your excitement. “there is. it’s not really an overnight process, though, it took me almost six months to get the hang of everything.”

  “but it’s possible, right?”

  he nodded. “it’s definitely possible.”

  “then let’s do it,” you said, going to stand but almost immediately losing your balance from the dizziness.

  kirishima caught you with ease, and the scent from earlier increased tenfold. a blush bloomed across your cheeks. “easy. we can start soon, but first you need to rest. the change is hard the first few times, it takes a toll on your body.”

  you nodded, quietly thanking him and sitting back down on the bed.

  “the rest of the pack should be on their way, too,” the redhead said. “however, you should get some rest beforehand. trust me, you’ll need it because i can only imagine how hard bakugou’s gonna grill you about the feral wolf.”

  “bakugou...?” you asked. “and pack? like, a pack of wolves? that whole alpha, beta, omega whatnot stuff?”

  he grinned and shook his head. “kind of, but not really. it’s more just like a family. no one really bows down to anyone, and there’s no hierarchy. bakugou, though, he just likes to think he’s the alpha.”

  “ri-right,” you muttered.

  “don’t worry, everything will be fine!”

...

  okay, i’m posting this now even though it’s not even close to being done. but i feel really bad not posting any writing for a minute despite posting all of my cosplay bc hey, yall don’t follow for cosplay. yall follow for my shitty writing lmao. part two is in order, but have this for now bc i feel bad