#so thats how his hat and boots are gonna look for now. sorry.

[sleights-of-hand]

✍Preston Garvey?

Redeeming aspects of Fallout 4 are this guy, and the retcon of 'cats extinct in Fallout'.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Emp-ire “At Gunpoint.”

Sorry for posting so late. I wrote this yesterday, but have been kind of absentminded lately. I hope you enoy.

Adam woke up with a numb arm and a groan. He rolled onto his side, hearing the clatter of glass as he did, sitting up and slamming his head hard against the table above. He cursed, rubbing his head as he crawled out from under the table and stumbling to his feet. Quiet snoring over by the bar alerted him to another human’s presence and found Ramirez sprawled on top of the bar itself using a boot for a pillow. He looked up to find the bartender smirking at him from behind the bar.

He smiled rather sheepishly boots clattering over the floor as he walked over and unceremoniously turfed Ramirez onto the floor.

The other man yelped in surprise and flailed about for a second before looking up, “Adam!”

Adam looked around the room trying to find his hat, and surprisingly, found it sitting on top of a mounted ram’s head on the wall. He walked over and picked it up, placing it back on his head as Ramirez wobbled to his feet.

“You boys enjoy your night.”

Ramirez squinted at the light leaving in through the window, “That was…. One eventful night, drinking, debauchery and catching outlaws.” He slapped Adam on the shoulder, “What a good time.” A ‘small’ smile crossed Adam’s face, “Leave it to us to manage not to have a normal evening. Now come on, let's go find some horses.”

***

They found their houses in the stables just outside of town. The place was enough of a tourist trap that it was likely the horses were available to rent. He doubted they would just be allowing anyone to take one for a joyride though and stepped into the stable first with Ramirez walking behind him.

“Smells like horse in here.” Ramirez muttered

“Stop being such a Diva.” Adam said walking forward to where a farm hand was carting away a wheelbarrow of waste and the stable manager was standing patting one of the horses.

The smell of horses and fresh hay wafted over him and he had a sudden flash of his childhood.

His father’s voice echoing in his head.

“That’s it, not too tight on the reins, Adam. There you go.”

He shook himself and walked up to the man who turned, “Mornin’ the man greeted touching the brim of his hat, “What can I do for you.”

Adam motioned a finger at himself and Ramirez, “We were hoping to rent some horses,”

The man looked them up and don skeptically, “Do you boys know how to handle and take care of a horse?”

“I do, my friend there doesn’t… so he'd need something…. Gentle perhaps something you use to teach children.” 

Ramirez frowned, Adam smirked at him.

“Well guess we will have to see. I don’t just rent out my horses to anyone you know. Have to prove you can take care of them and treat em nice before i allow that.”

Adam nodded, “i’d question you a bit if you didn’t have that policy.”

“Well  I can suggest a few.” He turned to walk down the line, “For your friend there, he might want to take Buttercup, she's a sweet old girl, still has some spirit left in her but she's gentle and sure footed out of all the animals I had ever known. How about you sir, what’s your experience.” 

Adam shrugged, “Dad taught me to ride when I was a kid. I can gallup and stay on at a jump, know how to groom and take care of one, but I admit it's been a few years.”

The man nodded slowly and thoughtfully before walking to the end of the stable and patting a stall door, “This is Maroz, she’s a bit stubborn, but I think a man like you might be able to handle her.”

Adam walked over with Ramirez at his back to look at the horse, Stunning, white like a pearl, with thick legs but a long mane managing to look elegant and imperious at the same time.

“Wow, she's gorgeous.”

“Well go on, let her get a sniff at you.”

Adam walked up to the gate offering her the back of his hand fingers slightly curled inward, in an almost fist. She stuck her head forward sniffing at his hand, hot air blowing in great gusts over his skin.

After a moment she snorted and nosed at his hand allowing him to gently pat her along the velvety skin of her muzzle.

“Well hello gorgeous.” He said.

She tossed her head a bit.

The man nodded pleased and opened the gate, allowing Adam o take the rins and walk her onto the floor.

“A firm hand, thats good, a lot of people arent firm, but you have to be. You have to let them know you are in charge. It gives them a sense of security.”

He led Ramirez over to another stall where a silver horse stood tossing her head. She stopped as he approached and sniffed at him.”

He looked a bit nervous, “They are a lot bigger up close.”

Adam smirked, “Oh come on, they’re sweet.” he patted Maroz’s side and the horse tossed her head.

Adam left Ramirez with the stable owner for a moment as he went over to put a saddle on the white house throwing the leather over her back and tightening the girth-strap before adjusting the stirrups. 

The stable owner walked over to check his work and seemed pleased.

Go ahead and hop on take her for a ride around while I get your friend saddled up, and show him a few of the basics.

Adam nodded, throwing his foot up into the stirrup and then hauling his other leg over the back of the horse. She shuffled a bit, but once he had himself situated things started to become more familiar and he gently tapped the rains urging her forward into a slow walk.

Ramirez was still eying the horse like it was going to eat him, which made Adam smile a bit.

He walked her outside and urged her into a light trot ad then into a canter around th stables, his hips moving with her as her body rolled under him.

He lifted his face to the open air.

He had forgotten how much he enjoyed this.

Once that was done, he urged her into a gallup and she responded to him thundering over the desert ground sending up clouds of dust after the. He whooped in glee, leaning low over her neck before turning her around and pulling her to a stop before the doors of the barn.

Ramirez was there strategically trying to figure out how to haul himself into the saddle. He tried once, overbalanced and fell backward into the dirt in a puff of dust. The horse whinnied like it was laughing at him. Adam laughed, “Guess ice dancing doesn't exactly translate into horseback riding eh?”

“Shut up Adam, By the end of today this beast will be my bitch.”

Adam leaned against the pommel of the sadel with some skepticism. Ramirez tried again and ended up hopping away off balance.

He patted Maroz’s neck, “See girl, I did that and I only have one leg.”

“An ENHANCED prosthetic if I may remind you.” Ramirez said. The silver horse sat there with no end to her patient nature.”

Ramirez finally managed to haul himself into the saddle, and from there wasn’t too bad. He had a good sense of balance even at a trot and got the hang of it pretty quickly, walking and even trotting slowly around the small paddock.

The stable master urged Adam t jump the horse a few times, and he managed a few low fences before chickening out at something bigger and pulling the horse to a stop.

The man tapped his chin lightly, “Alright, I suppose you’re capable enough. I’m still gonna give you some instruction before you head out.”

Adam took the instruction very seriously, forcing Ramirez to sit down and listen as well. What they were about to do wasn’t going to be a picnic and they wanted to be as safe as possible while they did it.

After a while they had their extra clothing and bedrolls rolled up and packed on the horses.

They purchased a map and a compass and were waved off into the open country at a slow walk with the sun high overhead.

Adam held the reins gently in one hand, fist resting against his thigh.

“Showoff.” Ramirez mumbled almost white knuckling the reins off to his side.

“I can’t believe you are from Texas and don’t know how to ride a horse.”

“An ice skater from texas, a sexy almost Olympian from the city.”

Adam snorted and laughed, “You asked for this trip, you asked for this to happen.”

“I wanted us to dress up and go drinking, I didn’t think you were going to drag me out into the desert to go live on the land and…. I dont know skin alien rabbits or some shit.”

“We brought food quit being dramatic.”

Ramirez looked up at the sky, “Forgot my harmonica, guess I’m going to have to start singing.”

“Sing what?”

“I don’t know, country songs and shit.”

“What country songs do you know?”

He shrugged, “Plenty.”

“Like what.”

“There Is the, I love my truck song.”

Adam and the hose snorted at the same time.

“There is the, I lost my wife song, the I like drinking song, the I love country dirt song,and the I love lovin women in corn fields song.”

Adam choked and started to laugh, the sun beating down on them, “I would LOVE to hear your rendition of the love lovin a woman in a corn field song. And yes that is a challenge.”

Ramirez reached up to stroke his chin just a bit, “Hold on, gotta remember the lyrics.”

Adam waited grinning as his friends tared intently at the saddle before him.

“I….. Ah ha um…. Driving my girl down to the field…..er.”

“Go on…..” Adam reached down for his canteen and took a sip

“Getting all ready to uh…. Plow her field.”

He regretted pretty quickly taking that drink as sudden laughter caused him to spurt water out his nose like a broken faucet. He choked and gagged and gasped for air, howling with laughter to the point he was bent double on his horse silently shaking ad slapping his leg repeatedly with murth.

When he could finally speak he sat up and gasped, “You dumbass rymed field with field. You could have at least used yield or wield or healed or kneeled. Heavens above, now I KNOW why you’re a marine.”

Ramirez flipped him the bird, and Adam urged them into a light canter over the dirt. He kept an eye on the horses, making sure not to tire them out too much though he doubted the pase at which they were riding would actually have any adverse affect on them. He doubted Ramirez would be able to handle a full gallop any time soon but was happy to feel the wind rushing against his face and neck.

The air smelled alien, as alien planets tend to smell. It was hard to describe it, almost metallic, like he could taste it, and as the sun set the sky overhead grew purple. They said there was a higher concentration of oxygen on this planet which is what made the usually red to orange sunsets on a place like earth purple on a palace like this. It was pretty in a very strange way, casting an eerie light over the orange red desert as if they had been thrown into some strange space cowboy fantasy, which he supposed they had.

As soon as the sun met the horizon, Adam ordered them to a stop below one of the rock formations against the leeward side and set up camp. There was a pamphlet in the saddle bags that discussed local flora and fauna of the area, what was safe to burn, and what was safe to eat.

They had more than enough food to last them on their trip out to one of the settlements, so they didn’t worry about that as they sat down by the fire watching as the sun cast bright orange streaks of light access a purple sunset. 

Adam leaned back against his saddle watching the horses as they grazed quietly off to the side on strange bluish rock grass that was apparently pretty good for horses.

“Not half bad.” Adam muttered, taking a swig from his canteen.

Ramirez only grunted from where he leaned against his saddle using it as some sort of pillow with his hat drawn low over his eyes.

Adam reached a hand down to his belt, fingers brushing over the stolen knife.

What was he doing?

He had never stolen anything, not in his entire life.

Not even when the person desperately needed to be stolen from. He glanced down at the knife again. What had come over him in that moment? Were his thoughts of Sunny really so profound that he would think about becoming a thief just to impress her.

Was it…. Was it perhaps this whole atmosphere that made him so likely to steal.

The wild west, the final frontier, a place where the rules were fast and loose and finders meant keepers.

Off to his side Ramirez was breathing deeply probably asleep after a long day of riding.

Adam felt that, his legs hurt somewhat, and so he stretched them out, leaning back against the rock.

At least they didn’t have to worry about rattlesnakes or spiders. The biggest issue here were these sort of one eyed looking lizard things that had little spines on their skin that could cause a mild rash on people, though that was only on the people who happened to be allergic to them.

He closed his eyes trying not to think too much and certainly trying not to think of Sunny.

Wherever she was.

Likely alone.

Likely still mad at him.

He cursed himself for ruining their friendship which had taken so long to build. What they had come from before just go go back to square one so many years later. He took a deep breath and tried not to think, just tried to let himself sleep.

***

He woke to the disturbed nickering of the horses.

Anda cold gun barrel pressed to the back of his head.

He jolted upright reaching for his gun, but the barre pressed harder against the back of his skull, “I wouldn’t try that if i were you, Partner.” the words came out spitting and derisive, and Adam held his hands slowly in the air blinking against the light of their little campfire.

On the other side of the circle he could see another dark figure standing behind Ramirez's gun pointed at his head in a similar fashion to Adam.

Ramirez looked almost as groggy as he felt, and chanced a look at him across the fire.

“Don’t you boys even THINK about trying anything.”

Adam kept his hands where they were his voice calm, “I am sure….. This is all just some sort of misunderstanding.”

He winced as the gun barrel pressed harder against the back of his head.

“No misunderstanding about it ‘friend’ you’re being robbed, so you are going to sit there and shut up.”

“Go ahead, I’m not stopping you.” Adam said his hands surprisingly steady”

He watched as the men rifled through their things pulling out food ad ammunition only to shove them into their bags and keep rooting through.

One of them went rifling through Adam’s pockets and gumbelt while they had them sat on the rocks, Pulling out his handgun and the knife which had already been stolen. 

“Are we done now?” Adam asked probably not intending to have such an acerbic mouth, but finding the annoyance biting to the front of his thoughts against his will. And were out before he could stop them.

“Get insolent would you.”

A sharp pain exploded on the side of his head, and he went sprawling to the dirt, his hat rolling off towards the fire.

He groaned and crawled to his hands and knees spitting dirt and blood onto the ground.

Someone knelt in front of him, gripping his chin aggressively and forcing his head back to look up at them, “I-”The man paused and then frowned, “Do i know you…. You look familiar.”

Adam jerked his head away, “Guess I just got one of those faces.”

“No, no I know you from somewhere.”

Adam sighed, this was all playing out like some poorly written trope, and if he knew where this was going ---which he thought he did-- than it wasn’t going to end well.

“You been drinkin again Davis.”

“No I swear, take a look at him.”

There was a shuffling around the fire and Adam’s head was forced back again by a handful of hair as the group leader clomped over the dirt,spurs jangling as he did, coming to crouch before Adam with a contemplative expression. Unlike their encounter with the outlaw last night, this man was…. Well he was a lot more put together. He was clean shaven with a well tanned complexion and a velvety black hat only slightly coated by dust. He wore a red vest over a black shirt, and all the silver buckles that held him together shone in the darkness of the fire.

He scrutinized Adam for a very long time before.

“Well slap my ass and call me Nancy, if it isn’t Admiral Vir of the UNSC.” he spit into the dirt and the rest of the men around the fire moved in to circle around him.

Adam sighed, he knew he had been had.

“Figure that out all on your own '' He wondered staring the man in the face with barely concealed contempt.

Across the fire Ramirez was staring at him with a ‘what the fuck do you think you are doing.” Sort of expression.

The man laughed mirthlessly, “You’ve got a tongue on you, Admiral.” He glanced over at Ramirez, “And who is this, faithful dog or your lover.”

Adam sneered, “I could ask the same thing about you and all your….friends.”: He glanced around the campfire  at the group of armed men.

What the fuck was he doing/?

“You’re funny Admiral,” h looked around, “isn’t he funny boys.”

Around the fire, the group of men laughed with cold derision.

Their leader crouched down, and patted Adam slowly on the shoulder, “I am Happy to see you Admiral, very happy to see you.  I’m a big fan, loved your movie, though learning that you were in support of those alien fuckers put me off a bit, I have to admit.” He placed the barrel of his gun below Adam’s chin and tilted his head back slightly. “Almost didn’t recognize you without the eyepatch.” He tapped the side of Adam’s head with the gun barrel, “Freaky that thing is, referring to Adam’s eye.

Adam snered, “Then you’ll really find this freaky.” 

With a sharp whirr, the steel eye prosthetic jolted to life and flashed upward with a ferrel hiss. No one had time to react before the sharp thud of metal on flesh as his metallic shin drove itself hard into the fork of the man’s legs.

He achieved the desired effect as the man crumbled like a wet piece of tissue gagging and choking into the fetal position.

Adam was grabbed by the shoulders and pinned bodily to the ground, more than five weapons pointed at his face.

Just ahead the bandit leader lay on the ground mewling and gagging every so often.

It took him a good fifteen minutes to recover and when he finally staggered to his feet Adam more than expected to be shot. In a blur of motion the man pulled his gun and pointed it at Adam’s head a grimace still plastered over his face. His hand trembled with what must have been rage but he eventually lowered his weapon, “If you weren’t so valuable, I would shoot you where you stand.”

He glanced over at Ramirez awith a thoughtful expression, “Try anything like that again, and I kill your friend.”

That mande Adam Freeze, and he glanced over at Ramirez with wide eyes,

The man snarled, “Thought that would get your attention, but still…. I owe you.”

Adam probably should have seen the boot coming, but he only registered it at the last moment before blacking out completely.

[ten0rreaper]

Here’s my entry to the @pnatsecretsanta for 2020! @quarktrinity, I hope you enjoy! It’ll be crossposted to ao3, link will be in a reblog. Thank you for your patience!

Isabel: hey so

Isabel: when are u going to get here

Max: wat?

Max: its xmas ev

Isabel: you really need to get a new phone

Isabel: and remember? youre supposed to come to my place tonight, wait it out

Isabel: max?

Isabel: if you were spacing out again im going to kill you

Isabel: you WERE doing the face again now that i think about it

Max: u guys ned 2 mak imprtnt info cler. Y i spcd

Isabel: you need to listen! this time mr spender remembered to tell u and everything. youre not allowed to be mad at us this time

Isabel: in short, get ur butt over here before midnight. sneak out if u need to, thats what isaac does

Isabel: in long, if u dont santas gonna kill u

----

“Let me get this straight.” 11:30 P.M. December 24th, 20XX. Max sat in Ed’s room on a chair hastily drawn up, with a jacket pulled hastily over his pajamas and hat still jammed on his head, massaging his temples. “Santa’s real, he’s a spirit, and he hates all spectrals and is coming to kill us?”

“That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but yeah,” Isaac said, and Max shot him a glare. He could hear that smugness. “So like, there’s a lot of spirits that kinda grow from ideas humans have, right? I don’t know what’s up with Scrapdragon, but like, Muse came from the ideas around ancient Greek muses, like his name. They can be really off base but still have the same ideas- like Lucifer, Mr. Spender’s spirit, is just some lightbulb guy, but Lucifer does mean light and stuff, so they can just be along those lines. But like, a LOT of kids believe in Santa and think about him a lot, so there’ve been a few spirits that manifested around the idea of a guy who can get anywhere to deliver presents to good kids and punishments to bad ones, especially with stories like Krampus too.”

“But most spirits can’t interact with humans, so this guy mostly goes around to other spirits and ghosts and stuff,” Isabel said, distracted by her attempts to spin her umbrella like a top. “So he likes spirits a lot. And we kick a lot of spirit butt,” she punctuated this with a particular spirited spin of the umbrella, “so he hates us and comes to try to kill us every year. And because he can teleport, he can get inside the barrier. So gramps makes us all stay with him until sunrise every year so that all the adults can fight off santa and his reindeer so we don’t get put in a sack and teleported somewhere.”

Max groans and tries to fall backwards in his chair, but the chair doesn’t budge. “Your paint really isn’t good for drama,” Max informed Ed.

“Don’t be so dramatic then,” Ed snickered. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Says you, You just stay at home all night. I have to sneak out! My dad’ll kill me if he finds out!”

“I just put a pillow in my blankets and it’s fine,” Isaac says with a shrug. “If your dad looks harder than that, we probably have a tool lying around that can wipe memories or something.”

“I don’t want to mind wipe my dad,” Max grumbled, but resigned himself to slumping grumpily in his chair to watch Ed play some punching game or whatever. Bad enough that his own baseball bat might want to eat him, and he was trapped in this town with no way out- now Christmas hated him too. 

Isaac caught his eye and smiled sympathetically. “You get used to it,” he whispered.

“I thought I was used to it a month ago.”

Max jumped as a knock on the door sounded, glaring at Isabel’s laughter. The door opened without waiting for a response. Mr. Spender poked his head in through the door with a goofy grin. “Alright, kids! You all ready for this year’s Christmas night?”

Ed didn’t even look away from his video game, waving lazily. “We could use some snacks. That’d be nice.”

“Yeah, where are the snacks, old man? You want us to starve?” Isabel waved her umbrella at him like a grumpy old woman might a cane.

“You’re well fed enough already. I made sure of that.” It spoke wonders to how used to this existence Max had become that Mr. Spender knocking politely had scared him, but Isabel’s grandpa floating through the wall didn’t. The man’s bulk and imperious gaze still caused him some anxiety, though, and he had to consciously remind himself that he’s a punk, he’s cool, and he doesn’t respect anyone’s authority, even a scary ghost’s. Yeah, totally. 

The atmosphere of the room quickly shifted, and Isabel’s eyes dropped. “Yeah, I was just joking. Sorry, Grandpa.”

“Joke or not, this night is too much effort to make light of. My students and I are putting ourselves at risk for you,” Mr. Guerra said, looming over the room, “so only vocalize a need if you need it.”

Isabel glowered at the carpet. “Alright, Grandpa…”

“So. I will ask again. Are you all prepared? Midnight strikes soon.”

“We are, sir,” Isaac said. Max fought not to pull a face at Isaac’s please pay attention to me, authority figure tone, but for once it was helpful, so whatever. He could let it slide. 

Mr. Guerra eyed Isaac. “...good. We’ll get you once the sun begins to rise.” And with that, he turned away and slid down through the floor. Max could already hear him barking at the pupils below.

Mr. Spender grimaced. “Well… good! Everything’s all set then.”

Isabel grumbled, picking at the carpet.

“...trust me,” Mr. Spender said, forcing audibly fake cheer into his voice, “This isn’t a hassle at all. You guys getting stuffed into a sack- now, that would be quite the kerfuffle!”

They all stared as Mr. Spender slowly deflated. “...sure,” Max said. “Uh, we’ll be good, stay up here, it’s fine.”

“Great.” Mr. Spender nodded, stared awkwardly for a moment, and stepped out the door. “Well, Merry Christmas, children!” He shut the door behind him. Max listened with the others as his footsteps hurried down the hall to the stairwell.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, a distinctly uncomfortable experience for Max. It was almost impossible not to ramble, and he was reaching his breaking point and about to open the floodgates of inane and overly verbose chatter when Ed, thankfully, took point.

“That sucked,” he said simply, and Isabel groaned and fell back.

“I hate when he does that!” Isabel laid her umbrella by her side and waved her hands in the air exasperatedly. “It’s like he has no in between and I’m always either The Best And He’s So Disappointed In Me For Not Being Perfect or A Helpless Kid He Needs To Do Everything For! He always gets like this tonight!”

Ed paused his game, and reached around to pat her on the knee. “I mean, we could prove him wrong. We beat up spirits all the time, how hard could this be?”

“Okay, hold up, hand on,” Max said. “No? I- this is a terrible idea, you just got finished telling me about how if I wasn’t here I’d be killed by Santa, and now you want to go out there and fight Santa?”

“Well, not Santa,” Ed said. “Duh. He mostly just sends his reindeer to do everything and hangs out on rooftops.”

“And no offence Max, but uh…” Isaac scratched the back of his head.

“You’d totally get killed if you were on your own.” Isabel flipped herself upright. “All you got is that dinky bat, and magnet powers. You can’t even do a spec shot, dude, you’d get thrown in a sack in no time. We’d be fine.”

Max crossed his arms. “Alright, screw you too.”

“But other than that… that sounds like it could be pretty fun.” Isabel grinned. “Show the old man and his big dumb deer who’s boss. Maybe then he’ll stop coming to Mayview every year.”

“That would be pretty nice actually.” Isaac was clearly thinking hard- he had his broody face on. “I would like to stop having to sneak out every year. Sooner or later my parents will notice.”

Max shuddered. “Actually, yeah, Isaac has a point. I don’t want to die to Rudolph or anything, but if we keep having to do this, I’ll die to my dad, which is way worse honestly.”

“Your dad’s a teddy bear,” Isabel said, and rolled her eyes. “Stop complaining.”

“You haven’t seen him when I fail a test!”

“So are we going or what?” Isabel was already pulling her jacket back on, tucking her umbrella firmly under her arm. Ed bounced on the balls of his feet with a grin, already eyeing up the window and painting himself a rope. 

Max looked at Isaac, who shrugged and got to his feet. Max sighed, and stood up, regretfully leaving his scooter on the floor. “Yeah, alright. We’re going.”

Well, Max was regretting this. He was regretting this so much. He tromped through the snowy woods, eternally grateful for his boots. “Why in the world do we have to fight the spirits of Christmas in the woods? Why can’t we do it in town, or like, on the road at least? The roads we salted. The roads wouldn’t be as cold.”

“Cuz we’d get caught, dummy,” Isabel snorted. Or maybe it was a sniffle. “Either someone from the dojo would hear us and yell at us and get in the way before we can prove anything, or someone in town would yell at us and call the cops or something.”

“Maybe having people nearby to help isn’t a bad thing? You can’t just say that after saying that I’m the most likely person to die!”

“You came out here anyway,” Isaac pointed out, and looked all too unaffected by Max’s glare.

“I hate you. I hate you with everything in my being you- you chump elf.”

Isabel laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this place looks pretty good, huh?” She stopped, looking around the snowy clearing they’d come into and turning in place. She nodded, satisfied. “There’s room to fight here, and we could come up with some pretty solid traps. Isaac wouldn’t have to worry too much about blasting a bunch of trees.”

“Looks pretty good!” Ed pulled off a mitten with his teeth and dug his paint brush out of his pocket. “What’re you thinkin, Izzy? Tripwire? Net?”

“Let’s go net,” Isaac said. “They can fly.”

“Plus, last time you tripped Isaac, remember?” Isabel elbowed Ed in the side. “Max and I are pretty fast, but Isaac needs some help.”

“Please. I can jump higher than your house is tall.”

“But you still fell just flat on your face,” she cooed. Isaac grumbled, cursing her just loud enough for Isabel to overhear, but she just batted her eyes and paid him no mind. “Okay, so,” she said, looking up at the sky through the hole in the canopy, “we probably only have a few more minutes before one of the reindeer finds us-”

And that’s when a dark shape, faster than cheetah and twice as forceful, barrelled into Max.  And off he went, hanging by the hood of his jacket on a wicked sharp antler prong, into the sky and away to the sound of jingling bells.

----

Things were quiet this year, Richard reflected. It was honestly a relief- maybe the spirit had finally given up. Probably too much to hope for, but, Christmas miracles and all. In any case, there seemed to be plenty of time to get the kids some mugs of hot cocoa and cookies to wait out the night with.

“Need any help balancing those?” Day asked, and Richard felt his mood become momentarily strained.

“Actually, that would be nice, if you think you could.” The tray of mugs and cookies he was balancing was quite the challenge, after all. Day reached up and somehow grabbed the plates of cookies perfectly- Spender could swear he saw her eyes flash for a moment, smart woman- and left him to balance the four mugs. A much easier task now.

“I really thought things would be more eventful, with how much Francisco was fussing over it, but everything’s pretty quiet, isn’t it?” Day smiled and followed Richard’s footsteps to the stairs.

“Well, usually there’s more cause for it, but the spirits seem to be laying low this year. Not an unwelcome reprieve in the slightest, but I do worry about Max… if this isn’t the new status quo, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“He’s a- well, he seems like a really smart kid,” Day reassured him. “I think he’ll make sure to be careful next year too!”

“I hope so. He does seem resourceful, but… he can be reckless.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” she said, before stopping with a small frown on her face. “They’re being pretty quiet…”

Spender listened for a moment himself. “Hm, they are… mayhaps they went to bed early?”

“That doesn’t sound like them.”

“No,” he said, dread creeping into his heart. “It doesn’t.”

He set the tray of cookies on the floor. He approached Ed’s room. He knocked.

He opened the door.

Richard’s lips thinned into a grim line as he surveyed the dark room. “They’re gone.”

------

Max screamed for his life as he was lifted faster than he could process into the sky. It was a clear, starry night, and they all looked like streaks as his captor circled through the sky, closer and closer to the top of the dome before colliding headfirst into it. Max didn’t have any more air in his lungs to scream as he was jostled loose and began to fall down, down- only to be caught again, this time like a sack of potatoes on the spirit’s back. He was overwhelmed by the sound of silver bells as he caught his breath, eyes screwed tightly shut.

Eventually, his lungs rallied to his call, and he was able to take in an unpleasant few gulps of animal-scented air. Max cracked his eyes open a peek- and immediately shut them again. Too high. He was way, way too high up. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, and the wind burned his face and the tips of his ears.

Hold on.

“My hat,” he wheezed reaching one hand up to grope the top of his head. “My hat’s gone!”

“Soon that will be of no matter.”

Max screamed- even he was getting fed up with his own screams at this point, but instinct didn’t seem to be on the same page.

“Quiet,” the rumbling voice said, and the spirit turned to look at Max. “Your sounds irritate me.”

The spirit that held Max on its back was by far the biggest deer of any Max had ever seen. It was shaggy and majestic, even as its fur was electric yellow, and its huge rack of knife-like antlers shivered as if they were made of candle flame. Its many eyes blinked, and it beared serrated teeth- a stark contrast to the many silver bells that seemed a part of its pelt. Max looked away, avoiding its cruel gaze, to see three pairs of legs, hooves thundering over empty air. And below him, seven more enormous shapes were blazing their way towards the distant forest clearing, led by an eerie red light. “Oh no, oooooh no, no no no no no no…”

“But yes, child. At last you have been retrieved, and soon your friends will be as well. Then, you can all face your punishment.” The spirit laughed cruelly. “I am Dasher, and I was simply the herald.”

“So you’re just, you’re just Dasher? Like from the poem? One of those things down there is…” Jeez, this was surreal. “...Donner? And, Vixen?”

“Many tremble in fear before those names. It would do you right to show some respect.”

“What? No, nobody does! You guys are like, goofy little stop motion dolls, man, how’d you guys end up looking like this?”

“Our powers are untold by your human poems-”

“Aren’t you guys based on the poems?!”

Dasher snorted and tossed his head in anger. “That is an egregious oversimplification-”

“I thought your name was Dasher, not Dictionary.”

The spirit cried out in frustration, and Max felt something in him settle a bit better. Poking things with words, he could do that. Just don’t look down. “So, uh,” he began, shifting a bit so it was less like he was thrown over Dasher and more like he was riding him, “why am I not in a sack yet?”

“Our pilot is attending to his annual business in Mayview,” Dasher growled. “It is we who have the ability to fight and fly- so it is we who collect naughty children. Once your compatriots have been obtained, then we may return to our stations.”

“Wow,” Max drawled. “I can’t believe Santa needs his reindeer to deal with three preteens.”

“You do have a teenager within your ranks. That does provide some extra challenge.”

“Whoa, wait, really?”

“Yes. He cannot fully be counted as a child by our pilot any longer- he has aged enough to become a teenager. It is not he that we seek.”

“Wow, that’s weirdly arbitrary and nitpicky.” Max was so going to tease Isaac about this later. If he didn’t, well, get thrown into a sack and… baked into a pie? Eaten alive? Thrown into a dungeon? Whatever. Try to be positive.

“If you take issue, you may air your complaints to our pilot.”

“Taking it straight to the manager, alright.” Max stared at his hands, balled in bright yellow fur, and took a deep breath as he relaxed them. He wasn’t going to fall, he was certain Dasher wouldn’t allow him, channel a Karen- and he released the fur, balancing on the spirit’s back with only his legs. Before he could lose his nerve, he swung his backpack off his shoulder and grabbed his bat. Okay, weapon acquired. Just… what to do with it.

Dasher huffed. “Puny weapon. Even with the power of an enslaved spirit, you cannot defeat me. Especially not with a spirit as weak as that one.”

“Ugh, not you too,” Max grumbled. At least this thing wasn’t getting aggressive. “I’m kinda tired of being called the weak one, it’s getting old.”

“It would have been better, then, if you had kept your power to yourself, and not bothered the true denizens of this world, as the other child does.”

“Other child-? You know what, I don’t know what you’re talking about and I do not care. Now let me think.” Max re-gripped Dasher tightly, this time grabbing the reigns, and looked around. Man, of course Max got magnet powers in the place where there’s no tall buildings anywhere- it would be great if they could pass by a skyscraper or two for Max to attach himself to. But alas… then, his eyes caught a gleam, a dark silhouette against the colorful lights of Mayview. 

A transmission tower in the woods. And they were heading right for it. Max shrugged his backpack back on to his shoulder and gripped his bat as tight as he could.

“Thinking will get you nowhere, child.”

“Yeah, but it’ll keep me quiet,” Max mumbled.

“True,” Dasher said. And started to turn back towards the clearing.

“No!” Max yelped, holding his bat out desperately- he knew the tower was too distant still, but he put all his will into the bat, trying to extend its power as far as he can-

Dasher lurched beneath him with a confused cry, the bells jangled, and Max’s focus was broken with a shout. Immediately, Dasher steadied beneath him.

“Child, if you do that again I will throw you off into the ground-”

“What- I don’t even know what I did-” Max’s breath caught as he realized what happened. The bells. They were metal, and he had what was definitely a terrible idea. But it was his only idea.

Quickly, before Dasher could retaliate, Max activated his bat. Dasher howled with rage as all the bells in his body strained in the direction of the magnetic center, and Max laughed with panic. 

“RELEASE ME AT ONCE-”

“No,” Max said, filled with thrill and panic, and directed Dasher back towards the clearing. The spirit barrelled towards it at supernatural speeds, a furious scream echoing through the night as he crashed into the snow like a comet. Max tumbled off of the spirit’s back, and the bat’s angle changed wildly, forcing Dasher in mad circles.

The other seven deer spirits, crowded in the woods, were as thrown into chaos as Isabel, Ed, and Isaac were, but Ed recovered fastest. “Max!” He crowed, head popping out of the snow. “You’re alive!”

“Somehow!” Max laughed, voice squeaky with panic. “For now!” In the corner of his eye, he noticed another spirit- a large one that was on fucking fire, so must be either Comet or Blitzen- and quickly swung his bat around to point at it. Dasher was forced to charge full speed into the other spirit, which dissolved into a wisp with a cry of shock.

Isabel whooped. “I can’t believe it! Magnet powers are good for something!”

“Serves you right!” He felt about to shake apart, and still dizzy from the crash, but spinning Dasher around like a top was easy enough- and the other jingling spirits were drawn in too. It was a glorious explosion of color, sound, and christmas spirits as one by one they melted each other away into whisps. Finally, only Dasher stood in the snow, puffing furious, cloudy breaths into the air.

“You will pay,” Dasher hissed. “Naughty children. You will not escape your punishment, this I swear to you.”

“Whatever you say, bub,” Ed chirped, and raised his scythe above his head.

“Wait!”

Max and the others turned back to look just in time to watch an arrow streak through the night and imbed itself in Dasher’s forehead. “No, no,” he groaned, watching Isabel’s face light up with glee.

Agent Day and Mr. Spender ran into the clearing, both panting and exhausted. “Thank goodness we found you,” Agent Day breathed, hands on her knees. “We were so worried that you were taken…”

“But I saw Dasher fall from the sky!” Spender’s chest heaved, and he swayed with effort, but he somehow managed to stay upright. “I’m so glad you’re all alright, even Dasher alone is quite the challenge to combat…”

“Nah, we got all of them.” Isabel grinned and punched her palm. “Max was able to yank ‘em around by the bells with his bat, and he got em all to poof each other. It was really easy to hit ‘em when they were all clumped up, too.”

“You- you really beat them all? Where are their tools?!”

“Right here, Mr. Spender!” Isaac called, arms full of a few rocks and sticks. “They’re, uh, not much to look at, but…”

“Amazing! Wonderful job, all of you- these will be great for the club’s stores!”

“But you shouldn’t have snuck out. We were so worried about you, and you’re glad we found you! Your grandfather is worried sick!” Agent Day wrung her hands together, cane stuck in the snow.

“Yes, he’s… not happy,” Spender admitted. “But, surely he’ll be proud when he finds out what you’ve accomplished?”

“Probably not,” Isabel sighed, sticking her hands in her pockets.

“...probably not.” Spender came over to put a hand on her shoulder. “But, for what it’s worth, I am.” Isabel looked up at him, then threw her arms around him. Spender smiled softly and hugged her in return.

“This is great,” Max groaned. “But I’m being crushed by a flippin’ reindeer, so can I get some help?”

Oblivious to Max’s irritation, Dasher continued licking Max’s hair life the reindeer he resembled. “You’re not so bad, I suppose. Resourceful child.”

“It always happens to me.”

“The arrow will at least last the night,” Agent Day said thoughtfully. “It should be safe for you to go home, in that case- you too, I think, Isaac! Since all the others are gone, after all… Maybe Dasher can take you home!”

“Nooooo!”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Ms. Day,” Spender said. “You could perhaps take Isaac and Ed back to the dojo, and I can take Isaac back to his home…?”

“Yes sir!” Day smiled. “Merry Christmas, Max, Isaac,” she said. “I hope you get back undetected.”

“Thank you, Ms. Day,” Isaac said. “You too.”

“You guys suck,” Max grumbled.

----

It took a bit for Max to wrangle Dasher into taking him home, but under Day’s spell, the spirit was a fairly easygoing ride. As Max climbed back in through his window to his undisturbed bed, he heard the spirit settle on the roof to keep watch for the sunrise. And, taking comfort in not being discovered and in the knowledge that next year, when he’s a teen, he won’t have to worry about any of this, Max changed back into his pajamas, settled into bed, and slipped into a deep sleep.

[apffee]

My Thoughts Rewatching TGWDLM and Black Friday:

*btw the section for tgwdlm is much shorter than the one for black friday because it’s less new so more people have already said almost all there is to say about it i guess*

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: - in the first scene the same phone rings about 32/33 times wow (i counted) - when charlotte is talking about sam singing in the shower, let it out plays real quiet and it's cool - i’ve always wondered what emma was gonna say before join us and die, and to me it seemed like she was gonna talk about paul’s crush on her and maybe reject him (she was acting remorseful, like she was sorry for being about to hurt his feelings maybe), idk if anyone tweeted nick lang about this yet but i wanna know - emma seems to jinx herself every time she says "we made it" or along those lines, like in the helicopter she says "we got outta there!" and before inevitable she says "paul! we made it!" - fuck nora :)

***

Black Friday: - the sniggles deserve betterrrr also lauren sniggle <3 - mnfnmggghfht them <3 paulkinsss <3 - silent night playing while we enjoy paulkins - "oH SHIT A BABY" - emma has beanies shopping bags so she either still works there and brought snacks or she just went there with paul idk - paul like "it's christmas time in hatchetfield isn't that fun" and im having flashbacks - i love paul's awkwardness but emma, he's your boyfriend ok (ok? ok. ok.) - emma copying bae like - how does lauren turn into an entirely different person with emma and linda ik it's acting but I CAN'T ENVISION THEM TOGETHER AS THE SAME PERSON - if i think about videos and streams of lauren, it seems like emma's personality is kinda similar to lauren's own personality huh - i think this part with emma and paul is so funny not just cause them and their wonderful delivery but also cause the paulkins content is more condensed in smaller amounts of time since they aren't the protagonists anymore, so it's more funny at once, while tgwdlm is probably more funny in total but it's more spread out - i love emma’s adorable laugh snort thing when tom tells her about the surprise it's so lovable <3 - tom just getting in emma's face when he says "he was sledding. WITH HIS MOTHER" ;-; - they just sneak off while tom sings like - what if emma has a different hairstyle in each musical? anyway lauren is so pretty no matter what her hairstyle is but her hair looks even more amazing down in general, i should probably stop now or i'll keep rambling on about lauren - but like lauren and jon are so cool i'm just more attracted to lauren in general but they're probably my two favourite starkid and YES I AM BIASED, SO WHAT? - tom teleports to the parking lot of the mall during what tim wants - tom: what tim want? tim: JUST ASK ME WHAT I WANT - why does linda look over when sherman says "omg its becky barnes" like u just spoke to her and hate her guts lmao why do u care -adore me plays when linda belittles becky bout stanley -webby: hey hannah do the thing ethan's doing with his hands hannah: *does it and gets scolded* webby: *wHeEEeEzeee* - paul in wdywp "i want what everyone wants, money, a partner, kids someday, maybe.." and linda talking to wiley "i want what everyone wants, to be loved" - linda is holding one of her boots, why did one come off? the camera doesn't show below her waist while she's talking to wiley so idk - lauren lopez as jingle the elf doing a bugette voice is attractive as hell - tom: "i'd do anything for him" me: awwww thats sweet! tom: "even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp!" me: :/ - what would happen if tom managed to give the doll to tim? tom: take this doll son. tim: i don't want that lmao? tom: W-WHAT? tim: i want u but ur distant and sad now :c tom: :'o - sHE'S hEaVY! D: - do ya think it's a coincidence that wiley AND xander call the president the nickname howie? maybe xanders dead and this is a fake idk lol - the sniggles are still cute in made in america (especially lauren sniggle) and lauren looks so good with her hair like that actually her hair always looks good why DOES HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD AND HER NOSE AND (this is just a rant about lauren now whoops) - at 1:42:55 when wiggly is talking to john the "look what happens nightmare time" riff (i think its a riff) plays hmmmmm; also someone else mentioned how the light in not your seed is green, so i think grace chasity (yeah apparently it’s chasity) is the connecting thread in all these things and since she is likely the protag in npmd its probably important. oh also maybe grace and jane are connected somehow? idk just trying to think of stuff that could be in npmd - when wiggly gasps after his hiccup laugh thing it's so uncomfortable and creepy i love it good job jon! - you have pOonies?? - i threw em in the FUCKING TRASH! - you killed the pOoNIES! -"she can go on her own" NO LEX HANNAH NEEDS YOU ;o; -lex: reach? like this? *gun flies towards her and smacks her in the nose* ARGH! - lex: patiently waiting for tom to finish singing - i remember something about either the song a meteor hits or just the wiggly jingle scratch track or something being to the tune of if i fail you, so thats cool - jon is so damn feral as gary and it's wonderful i'm having so much fun - gerald's such a good dramatic device - she's drunk AGAIN? what would you know about becky being drunk linda? im imagining drunk becky and linda talking in a bar idk how else linda would know about that eh - behold the wonderful shriek of lauren lopez - i can sing the range of adore me and califorMIA since im an alto and yet lauren can do her high octaves as well as my own comfotable octave she's just destroying the song wiggle and my belief in what singing ability i have with her TALENT!!! - *obnoxious laugh* bECkY BaRNeS! - lets just appreciate jon and lauren sneaking off stage and doing a quick change into their paul and emma outfits in like 40 SECONDS WHAT also everyone else saying their lines slower so they had more time to quick change - "taaahm?" (i love lauren's midwestern accent) - emma and tom never got to talk about jane :'( but also her grateful little smile when he says it and ghfighdfisdfskh emma and paul <3 - why does emma always want to go to hidgens tho lmao like how trustworthy is he really? aw but i guess emma doesn't have anyone else in hatchetfield except paul and jane's family :'( - PAUL SMILING AT EMMA TO COMFORT HER AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (2:14:02) like i don't mind about how well lauren and jon know each other because their acting is so good that it gets me so invested in paulkins <333333333333333 - i wanna see the paulkins hug D:< i can just see emma in her cute ass bobble beanie hat thing coming over and then the camera pans away WHY - i love that at the end everyone's just squinting at the sky in confusion and paul's just doing a bug-eye face of shock like O-O - ok at the end of tgwdlm it was sad and scary that emma was still in character and screaming for help but i'm just imagining as everyone bows in a line emma just screaming and staggering around again even though this is black friday and it would be really weird but my brain's also weird - tim died alone in the car :( - fuck nora

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[hockeysweetheart]

Canadians in Situations in the Hunger Games... 74th and 75th games  This is Basically just a random canadian wondering around the games. And doing saying very Canadian things 

74th Games 

1. The cornuopia bloodbath. We would be like excuse me can I just sneak right past you to the cornucopia. / Wait their turn politely  to get the goodies. / Or run the hell outta there to the woods grabbing a backpack or something. 

2. Running into another Tribute in the woods. Hi there sorry I ran into you I’ll be on my way. Here is a timmies gift card for running into you again sorry. It’s my fault god bless you. Runs into the tribute again sorry.. and again sorry... 

3. Starting a fire at night... ( Sees other tributes) Oh hi you came for a camp fire come on room for everyone... I got smores... 

4. See’s wild life Hello friends you know what this is one beautiful place love the nature of this place  

5. See’s a canadian goose Runs the hell outta there... Not those evil bastards... 

6. See’s Katniss in the tree.. Hi up there you okay. Should I be up in the tree too. Don’t fall. Btw nice snare back there. 

7. See’s the firewall... OH MY GOD someone call the water bombers... 

8. Notices Katniss is injured. Are you okay that looks like it hurts. Here let me help ( Helps Katniss) ( Pulls out a first aid kit  of everything)  Always be prepared . Lucky for you we  know to treat burns. Got an cold water by chance... Well your screwed sorry... 

9. See’s the careers and Peeta  has Katniss treed... Climbs the tree. I got water food. timmies, poutine. your burn cream. You know what people are so nice here. I saw this parachute falling from the sky and thought I  should give it to you.  Hi rue .... Oh yeah btw there is a tracker jacker nest...  good luck 

10.  In a fight with another tribute. Tribute asks any last words. Canadian “ Sorry we didn’t get to know each other you seem like a nice person”. 

11. See’s District 3 working on the  land mines... Need help there... Oh sorry I scared you. Yeah if they put all their stuff in one huge pile and your land mines it shouldn’t blow up...  A few days later well shit... sorry that happened.. Hi Katniss...  Do you happen to know if you can hook up my phone to the games ?

12.  See’s that Katniss past out due to the tracker jacker stings... Builds a tent around her. makes a nice meal. cleans up her arrows... cheaks on her... 

13. Walks past Peeta who’s hurt Good Morning young man. Have a nice day... You might want to get that checked out ... Free heathcare after all.. Oh wait  that’s on canada.. well hope you have good insurance. 

14. See’s Katniss singing to Rue. Joins in ( Kinda like in elf how they are singing baby its cold outside). 

15. To the beast mutts... Okay I’ll just move outta your way I come in peace mean no harm... 

16... Finds the maple syrup. At the feast... See’s whats going on ohhh thats not pretty.. 

17.  Taking a walk by the stream and see’s Peeta need help there okay.... good you sure you want to scare her. ( has this heart to heart with Peeta likely) 

18. See’s the cave oh sorry Didn’t know this cave was occupied I’ll just go find another one. 

19. At the cold nights. Canadian wearing full out snowgear  hat gloves scarf boots.  We sleep in igloos ya know. EH. 

20. Katniss and Peeta win... Can I be the first to say congrats this has been fun i’ll be back next year...

( Bonus one) Some where finds a canoe. Canoes at the lake... see’s people you will never guess what I saw a moose. Didn’t think they were out here... 

The 75th Games 

1.  Enters the arena... Oh my god am I in BC. OR PEI... Get out sunblock a floatie Nice day to float eh... 

2. See’s the rocky stokes to the cornucopia... Okay easy now rocks get slippery when wet...  Hi there 

3. See’s Katniss hi again congrats on the baby  Good luck. and congrats on the marrage... 

4. See’s that they got a spile and they are trying to figure it out... You idiots thats a spile we use it for maple syrup at home...  These babies are basically in all our trees. 

5. See’s Peeta runs into the force field... Sorry for your luck bud... Anyone know cpr... 

6. Walks past the allance. Hey anyone know the hockey score. 

7.  See’s the Tributes outfit well that wont save you from anything... 

8. Yells to the sky... Will it kill ya to get me timmies... and a some ketchup chips. 

9. starts singing In the Jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight... 

10. See’s the fog well thats sketchy better move...  See’s the Monkeys Hi I come in no harm.... Waves.... 

11. Drinks Milk outta the bag... ahhh Thank goodness I brought my cooler... Points up to a tree see. 

12. Sees that Katniss’s  alliance has bread... Say’s hey do you mind helping a friend out. 

13. See’s jabberjays Hi oh you want to convince me my family is in danger no they are not they are in canada... unless Oh no we are out of poutine...

14. See’s Katniss Peeta and Finnick get with Johanna Wiress Beetee....  Waves hello there need some help. You might not want to get that wire wet... 

15. See’s Katniss and Johanna at each other... Steps in  violence is never the answer.

16. On the spinning cornucopia ( Canadian brushes off there shoulders) Everyone stairs. What that little spinny ride  was just like driving on our streets. Sorry. 

17. See’s Katniss and Peeta  making out on the beach.. Walks by them... Excuse me..Sorry...  didn’t mean to interrupt you. Just keep doing what you were doing.... Goes to Johanna those two are... Ohhhhh yeah I understand well see ya. 

18. See’s Beetee’s plan even I don’t understand it. ehhh....  good luck

19. Points a wepon at a tribute... Hey can you please move so I don’t harm you. I want take down that animal im hungry 

20. Hears a loud explosion Did the Raptors win again... Oh well if this is how im gonna go then it’s my time I guess 

[chemicalmagecraft]

The Gamer Hero, Deku Chapter 28

A/N: Sorry about the wait. I made a new fanfic (btw if you like ATLA but think it needed more deadly airbending ninjas check out A Black Wind Howls) aaand then college started back up...

xoxoxo

I opened my eyes and deactivated my Quirks and skills, stepping on the perfectly generic object with one foot and jumping off a moment before it fully dissolved. "That was way smoother than it had any right to be," I muttered as I checked the time. About an hour had passed since I entered my mindscape. Huh. It felt like it was longer than that. Maybe time passes faster in the mindscape? I checked the text boxes that had popped up while I was meditating. It looked like the menus I'd tried to open when in my mindscape had opened in reality, for one... I closed them and looked at the ones that were left over.

Your WIS has increased by one! (x4)

Your DEX has increased by one!

Your CON has increased by one!

Shock Sphere (Active) LV1 EXP 1.49% MP 100

That was surprisingly good for an hour of meditation. Especially because neither of my stat boosts were set to WIS. I guess stumbling around in one's own mindscape is a great method of self-discovery. For one thing I decided I should probably stop raising All Might on such a high pedestal. Maybe I'd ask him if I could call him Yagi-sensei?

I shrugged. "I wish I could talk to the past bearers in the real world, though. They were really nice. Plus having seven seasoned heroes that I can ask for advice at any time would be really handy. Too bad I can't just invite them to my party." I thought about that for a minute. "Actually, can I do that?" I recited the party invitations and crossed my fingers. One by one they appeared in my party window and I opened up the voice chat.

"So is this how your party ability works?" Kaizen asked.

"Honestly I didn't think that would work," I said, "but I'm really glad it did."

"We're glad it worked too, kid!" Daigoro added.

I laughed. "Thanks! There are probably going to be times when I can't talk and have to use the text chat, and other times where I'll have to disband the party temporarily, but you guys don't mind keeping me company, do you?"

I heard Shimura chuckle. "I don't mind at all. And I'm sure the others don't either."

"I'd be glad to keep you company," Honenuki said.

"Better than playing another of Ichigo's stupid games," Hikiishi added.

"Hey!" Ichigo said indignantly.

"They are fun, but it does get old sometimes..." Sokolov muttered.

"Not you too!"

I laughed. This was going to be great.

xoxoxo

Bakugou Katsuki: youre real fuckin blase bout the voices in your head deku

Shigaraki Ichigo: To be fair we are actual people and we can only be voices in his head using his Quirk.

I'd decided that, because Kacchan already knew about One For All, I would tell him about the past bearers. I did it on the morning of the day that we were going back to Yuuei. He was surprised, but almost immediately shrugged and said, "You know what, this might as well fucking happen." Currently we were on the train to Yuuei.

Hikiishi Jiroku: if you think about it, we're like ghosts haunting your friend.

Bakugou Katsuki: oh like thats so much better

I saw a young girl with bright eyes staring at us out of the corner of my eye. "Mommy, it's the magic people!" she shouted to a woman next to her that I assumed was her mother.

"Don't bother them, Chi-chan," the woman said.

"Are you talking about us?" I asked the girl.

She gasped. There were stars in her eyes. Literally. "Yeah! I watched you guys on the sports festival! Your fight was awesome!"

Kacchan smirked at the girl. "You know it, kid."

She bounced on her feet. "Yeah! You guys were all like bam, pow, woosh!" The rest of the people on the train were starting to look at us. The girl pouted. "I wanna be a cool hero like you guys, but my Quirk is dumb..."

"I'm sure your Quirk is great!" I objected.

"All I can do is make my eyes glow."

"Well I mean for one thing you can probably use it to see in the dark." Kacchan said.

"That's the only way I can use it, though!"

"I wouldn't be too sure," I said. "Can you control how bright it is?"

She nodded. "It's hard, but if I try really hard I can make it as bright as a flashlight for a bit."

I put my hand on my chin. "I'd bet that even All Might would be thrown off if someone he was fighting randomly shined a flashlight in his eyes. And if you practice really hard you should be able to make them even brighter." I poked Kacchan. "Believe it or not, when his Quirk first came in all he could do was make little pops."

"Just make sure not to hurt yourself practicing," Kacchan reminded her. "Quirk strain is not fun. I mean, mine was probably a lot fu- a lot worse than yours would be because it's caused by explosions and not glowing, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful."

The girl nodded excitedly.

"And be careful in general," I said. "Hero work is dangerous. I suggest you learn martial arts or something like that if you really want to be a hero."

"Like you're one to fuc-" Kacchan caught himself before swearing. "Like you're one to talk, Deku."

"Fair enough. You should also try to learn some magic. It's a lot more versatile than Quirks, plus you can probably enhance your Quirk with magic." I winked. "Just be mindful of property damage."

She beamed at us. "Yeah! I will!"

Her mother smiled. "Thank you. She loves heroes."

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head. "It's actually pretty flattering."

"Yeah, I got my first fan!" Kacchan said. He reached over to give the girl a high five. She looked really grateful, so I gave her a high five too.

"Thank you both sooo much!"

xoxoxo

"Damn, this is some heavy rain," Kacchan muttered from under his umbrella while we were walking to Yuuei.

"What bad luck, huh?" I said. I also had an umbrella, but at the same time the water was subtly avoiding me so I didn't even get slightly wet. Having so many elementals can be very convenient.

"What are you two doing, you're going to be late!" Iida shouted at us from behind. He was wearing a poncho and jogging.

"What the fuck are you doing, Glasses!?" Kacchan shouted. "This is not the fucking weather for a nice morning jog!"

"There is no wrong weather for a nice morning jog!" Iida shouted as he passed us.

We managed to catch up to him in the entrance hall. "I heard about your brother, Iida," Kacchan told him while he was putting his boots in his locker. "If you need to talk to someone about it... well you probably shouldn't talk to me, but I speak from experience when I say that Inui-sensei is very willing to help."

"Inui-sensei?" I inquired.

Kacchan grunted, blushing slightly. "Hound Dog," he muttered.

"I appreciate your words, but I don't need to talk about it," Iida said as he closed his locker door.

"Iida, it's okay to not be okay," I said. "It doesn't make you any less strong. Even All Might has his bad days."

"Thank you, Midoriya," Iida said as he started to walk away. "But I'm okay. I promise."

I frowned at his title.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

LV 36

Iida Tenya

"I'm gonna have to press X to doubt that one," I said after he was gone.

"Deku I know you have that whole gamer hero thing going on but that joke was so fucking terrible I think I'm legally obligated to give you a wedgie," Kacchan told me.

"Please don't."

xoxoxo

"I have a few announcements before today's business," Aizawa-sensei said, acting like normal and not at all mentioning the fact that he was wearing, with the exception of the same scarf and possibly the goggles hidden under it, an entirely new hero costume. He kept the original color scheme, but his outfit looked like it was inspired by a more close combat-oriented fantasy wizard that wouldn't look out of place in a JRPG at all, complete with a wizard hat and a collapsible bo staff holstered on his belt that Observe told me was made with an experimental design that let it more effectively channel magic. He was also clean-shaven for once, though he still had the dark bags under his eyes. It made that scar he got from the USJ incident stand out a little more.

"First," he pointed to Shinsou, who was standing awkwardly next to him, "we have a new student. Make him feel welcome or whatever. Now sit down, Shinsou. There's an empty seat behind Midoriya."

"Congratulations, Shinsou!" I told him with a smile when he sat down. "I knew you'd get in!"

"Thanks," he said, then looked at Aizawa-sensei. "Was he always wearing that weird martial artist wizard outfit?"

"No, that's new. Scarf's the same, though."

"I thought so."

"If you're all done talking," Aizawa-sensei said menacingly. "We're having a very important hero informatics lesson today." He grinned evilly. "Pay attention, because this could affect your entire hero career." A terrified murmur broke out in the classroom.

"This is not what I was hoping for my first day..." Shinsou muttered.

Kacchan, who was sitting in front of me, looked back at him. "Eh, don't worry. Aizawa-sensei's just a fucking drama queen like that. Watch, he's gonna say that this is just us picking our hero names." He pointed at Aizawa-sensei.

"You'll be picking code names today," he confirmed, as if on cue. The class cheered, causing him to glare at us with his Quirk activated. His hat floated slightly before he turned it back off. "This isn't just for fun. You'll be going on a work study soon, so naturally you'll be needing a hero name to go by. Are there any questions?"

Kaminari raised his hand. "Why are you wearing a wizard outfit?"

"Are there any questions about the work study?" Aizawa-sensei glared at him.

"Is there any reason behind the work study?" Shinsou asked.

"It's meant to give you guys hands-on experience with hero work. Also, more than a few of you have already gotten a lot of draft picks from hero organizations already. Usually those offers are given to second and third years, who are more experienced, but there have been several unique circumstances for your class." He pressed a button on his remote, bringing up a list on the smartboard. "These are the offers that were extended to 1-A."

"Oh wow," I thought. My name was on the top of the board and I had almost five thousand offers!

"Congrats, Midoriya!" Shimura shouted through the party chat.

"Yeah, that's something to be proud of, I'm assuming..." Ichigo added.

"Good job, kid," Hikiishi said.

I sniffed and wiped the tears off my face... and desk... I thanked them over the text chat and looked at the rest of the board. Kacchan was below me at a little over four thousand offers. Aoyama, Todoroki, and Uraraka were next below us at around two thousand each. Iida, Tokoyami, and Kaminari had offers in the hundreds. Sero, Yaoyorozu, and even Shinsou had a few too.

"Don't worry, those of you who didn't get any offers," Aizawa said. "There are hero organizations that work with Yuuei to give students who don't have any offers work studies. And as I said, usually only second and third years get offers. So I'm sure you'll get at least a few by next semester."

"And that's what the hero names are for!" Hagakure blurted out.

Aizawa nodded. "That's right. Technically you can change your hero name at any time, but once you start getting popular chances are the public is going to call you the same name even if you change your name, unless it's accompanied by serious rebranding or something like that."

"Oh, is that what the wizard outfit is for?" Ashido asked.

Aizawa glared at her for a prolonged period of time. "No. Comment. Because having a good hero name before you even debut is so important..."

Midnight-sensei strutted through the door and stood next to Aizawa. "Yuuei strongly encourages the teachers of the hero course to organize a workshop session for their students before their work studies so they don't call themselves something dumb like, oh, I don't know... Eraserhead?"

"Fuck you, Nemuri," Aizawa muttered, causing Midnight to wink and stick her tongue out at him. He sighed and pulled a folding chair and some small dry erase boards out from behind his podium. "Midnight here is going to make sure the names we pick are all right. The annoying thing with hero names is that whatever you pick tends to end up reflecting on your hero career, so choose carefully."

"Wait, are you picking out a hero name, too?" Kaminari asked.

Aizawa grunted and started handing out the dry erase boards. "Against my better judgement I decided, for multiple reasons actually, to adopt a more public hero persona," he explained.

"WHAAAT!?" almost the entire class shouted at once.

"Yeah, yeah. 'Course, I need a new name for it, and the timing lined up so I unfortunately had the 'brilliant' idea of participating in this exercise with you guys, for solidarity or whatever." When he was done with the dry erase boards he put his folding chair next to Uraraka and sat down. "So for the next however long, just think of me like a fellow student. Plus Ultra or whatever."

I uncapped my dry erase marker and stared at the board. What kind of hero did I want to be? What kind of name did I want to have? I had a flash of inspiration, but... I sent Kacchan a message with my Quirk. I wanted his opinion on it.

He turned back to me. "Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Well I can see where you're coming from with that," he shrugged. "If ya really want to, go for it."

I wrote down my idea and waited for everyone else to be done. Kacchan looked like he was having a bit of trouble, but shooed me off when I asked if he needed help.

"And now you'll be presenting your hero names, starting with who's done!" Midnight said after more than a few of my classmates had put down their markers. Nobody said anything, but the air tensed when she said that. "Of course you have to present them!" she said with a grin. "If you can't stand proud and present your name to your own peers, how are you going to stick to it in the face of the public?"

Okay that made me a little nervous, but I shook it off. I was about to volunteer myself for the first presentation, but Aoyama and Aizawa both stood up before I could.

"I shall go first!" Aoyama glittered as Aizawa muttered, "Let's get this over with."

Aizawa sighed. "After you, kid."

"Thank you, my wonderful teacher!" He strutted up to the podium and stylishly revealed the name he wrote on his board. "'Shining Hero: I Can Not Stop Twinkling!' That means that you can't stop my sparkles!" As he said that, literal sparkles bloomed into existence around him. Honestly that was about what I was expecting from him.

"I like it, buuut maybe take out the 'I' and shorten 'Can Not' to 'Can't?'" Midnight suggested.

"Yes! That's perfect, mademoiselle!" Aoyama beamed.

"That's a good name?" Shinsou snarked under his breath.

"I don't know," I said, "I think it's kind of a nice name."

"Because you're a fucking sap," Kacchan added.

I shrugged. "Maybe a little."

Aizawa sighed. "Well, I guess that means I'm next." He walked up to the podium unenthusiastically and lifted up his board. "Magician Hero: Grimalkin," he read, blushing slightly. He'd put a cute little cat paw print on the end where a period would be.

"Ah, like the witch's familiar from Macbeth!" Yaoyorozu said.

Aizawa nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"I love it!" Midnight shouted. "Cute, but still bold!"

"Thanks," Aizawa muttered as he walked away from the podium.

"Now, do we have any more volunteers?" Midnight asked.

Kacchan got up. "I might as well get this over with too." He presented his name. "The Explosion Hero: Grenadier."

"Excellent! It's simple, striking, and goes with your hero outfit's theme!" Midnight commented.

"Thanks, teach." Kacchan said. "I figured it'd be way better than my first idea."

"What would that be?"

"King Explosion Murder."

Midnight winced. "Yeah, Grenadier's a lot better. Next!"

Shinsou nodded and got up to the podium. "I'm afraid it might be a little dark, but... Control Hero: Mindjack."

Midnight nodded with a grin. "I can see your concerns, but it's perfectly fine. Better than King Explosion Murder, at least."

"You're welcome for the example, I guess," Kacchan grumbled.

"Now, who wants to go next?" Midnight asked.

I stood up. "I'd like to," I said. I walked up to the podium, took a deep breath, and showed the class my dry erase board. "The name I decided on is the Gamer Hero: Deku."

xoxoxo

A/N: The naming session went about the same as it did in canon from that point onward, just without Midoriya, Bakugou, and the grape.

Originally I was going to make this chapter longer but then I realized that ending the chapter on the first time the name of the fic is cool.

Elemental list: Midoriya: Halitus, Dune, Rayne, Blaise, Juniper, Mifuyu, Raimon, Iggy, Sonia, and Claude Bakugou: Pyra and Leaf Tokoyami: Corvo Uraraka: Nebula and Ion Hagakure: Lucy Tsu: Bubbles Aizawa: Charlie and Cassiopeia All Might: Seth O'Scope

[wanderingsoul210]

Ranger Charlie

(This is a story where Charlie meets Mike, a boy who had run away from home and had gotten lost. The 2 wound up even more lost and must work together to avoid dangers, hunters, and to get back to safety. But there seems to be a hidden past behind Mike, and Charlie wants to find out what exactly he’s hiding. If you don’t know, Mike is my Panlie fan kid who “spoiler alert” gets adopted by the Panda and Charlie.)

P.S( Apologies ahead for typos, bad writing, and of course, this weird formatting. I promise I’ll get better, I have to, because the WBB/Panlie fandom is dying fast!)

Chapter 1: The Lost Boy

It was an accident.

That’s all Charlie could think as he walked through the woods in what appeared to be his Ranger uniform. He wore long boots that neared his knees, a tucked in collared shirt along with a sash that contained useful items for being about in the outdoors, and finally a pair of shade sunglasses hung from the base of his collar shirt and a long hat similar to Tabes.

The twigs snapped under his steps as he casually walked through the woods. His eyebrows were burrowed as he was deep in thought, barely even paying attention to his surroundings. The events that had transpired earlier had kept eating away at his mind and he couldn’t help but stay unfocused as he pondered around with these thoughts.

He closed his eyes for a moment and slowly the events replayed themselves in his mind...

-/-

5 hours earlier...

“Right! I’ll let him know right away! Uh-Huh! Yes sir! Goodbye!” Ranger Tabes hung up the phone and looked out into the woods. Her mind filled with worry with what her supervisor just informed her.

She bit her lip and grabbed ahold of her phone before she paused.” This is serious. Do they really think he can handle something like this?” She thought about it for a moment before she shook her head to shake away any doubt.”No! Of course he can do it! If anyone could it would be him...”

She bit her lip as she contemplated her choices.” No one knows the woods like Charlie , so he’ll be perfect, but...this is nothing like our usual rounds. Whoever or whatever is screaming in that part of the woods needs ours help! It could be a deer giving birth, or an injured animal, or worse, a hiker who needs help...!”

Without wasting another second, she grabbed the phone and began to dial someone up...

Meanwhile, the Bears sat on the couch, watching what appeared to be a weird reality show about making urban people survive in rural areas and vice versa.

A guy dressed in overalls and a straw hat watched helplessly as his roomba drove out the front door and began to drive down the street.” My roomba! It’s running away!” He said in a heavy country accent.

Grizz chuckled as the show cut to commercials.” Heh-heh, this show is so crazy! Who comes up with this stuff!?” He said, turning to his bros. Ice Bear shrugs and Panda frowns.” I don’t know, but couldn’t he have just, you know, picked up the roomba an problem solved?” Asked Panda confused.

Grizz just tskd tsk’d and shook his head.

“You just don’t get it,”he says.” Where’s the drama in that? Where’s the action or adventure?” At that moment Charlie stuck his head through the doorframe and turned to the bears.

“Hey y’all, sorry I took so long.” He said as he walked over to the couch.” What’d I miss?”

Panda rolls his eyes and sighs.” Nothing much, just idiots being idiots...” Grizz squints at Panda for a moment before he turns to the tv.” Meh, some guys roomba ran away and now he’s all sad or something...huh, I guess it is kind dumb...” said Grizz.

Panda turns to Charlie and glared at him .

Charlie’s face blushes a bit as he put on a nervous smile.” Uh, what’s up Panda? You look a little...”

“Dude, were you in my room again?”

“Huh?”

Panda sighed and shook his head.” You said you had to ‘drain the main vein’ and that was 15 minutes ago...so what took you so long...”

Charlie was silent for a second before he sputtered.” I...may have clogged the toilet again...and needed...a....really big pillow to unclog it...and stop the water from going to the living room...”

Panda was silent for a moment before he leaned over and peered into the hallway.

His face lit up with anger as he saw the mess in the hallway and the pillow...the pillow!?

“Miki-Chan!”

Panda hopped and pushed pass Charlie as he ran up to the soggy mess and knelt down. His paws shook as he reached down and caressed her face.

Shocks soon converted into anger as he spun around and pointed a finger at Charlie.” Charlie! Why would you do this to my Miki-Chan!?” He cried out causing Charlie to take a step back.

“I-I’m sorry Panda! I thought... I thought she was just a pillow, y’know? I didn’t think...” he sputtered before Panda interrupted him.”Just a pillow!?” Panda let Miki-Chan fall to the ground as he rose to his feet.

“I know she’s not alive, but she’s a better friend than you’ll ever be!” As soon as the words left Panda’s lips, he knew he regretted them. The look of pain on Charlie’s face once he said it. With one final cry he carried Miki Chan off the floor and ran into his room leaving a trail of water behind.

Panda slammed the door and locked it before Charlie ran forward and tried at the the knob.”P-Panda wait! Please! I’m sorry!” Charlie apologizes before pounding on the door.” Please! Let me make it up to you! I-“

“Will you just go away and leave me alone!?” Panda cried out.

And Charlie let his head fall in silence.

He messed up. He knew that. He turned to see Grizz and Ice peeking their heads around the corner. Grizz was the first to step out.

“Hey man, I’m sorry Panda’s acting a little over dramatic with Miki-Chan. He’ll get over it, trust me...” Said Grizz. Charlie just shook his head and looked at the water in the floor.” No, no I should’ve thought about how Panda would feel about this...” Charlie frowned for a moment before sighing.

“Well, I guess I’m gonna head home before I make things worse. Tell Panda that I’m really sorry for all this, and I promise I’ll make it up to him...” Charlie said as he made his way to the front door.

Grizz turned to Ice for a moment before running towards Charlie.” Wait! Charlie, we can fix th-!”

Before Grizz could finish his sentence, a familiar ringtone began to play from the living room. They all paused and turned their heads towards the sound. Grizz walked forward and picked his phone up from the table and looked at who was calling.

“Oh hey, it’s Tabes!” He stated before answering the call.” Hey Tabes!”

“Hey Grizz, Uh, would you by chance happen to know where Charlie would be? It’s kinda urgent...” She stated. Grizz let out a small chuckle.” Sure I do, he’s 3 feet behind me!”

Tabes sat up in her chair at what she just heard. She was relieved that it was much easier to find Charlie than she anticipated. Grizz turned, phone raised up to Charlie’s face, and smirked.” It’s Tabes, she’s asking for you.” Said Grizz.

Charlie looked at the phone and hesitantly grabbed it and raised to his face.

“H-hello?” Charlie stammered, to which he joked when Tabes called his name.

“Charlie! Glad to hear your nearby!” She said, turning on her chair to look at a nearby map.” Listen, I need you to swing by my station as soon as possible.” Charlie burrowed his eyebrows in confusion.” What? Why?” He asked.

“Is it serious? Cause me and Panda just fought and I really want to make it up to hi-“

“There’s no time for that!” She interrupted.” Look, this is serious, probably the most serious mission you’ll get, so please partner, try to get here soon...!” Charlie looked down in silence for a moment before sighing.” Ok, yeah, Tabes, I’m on my way. See you soon...”

Charlie presses the hang up button and turned to Grizz and Ice Bear.

“Well guys, looks like I’ll have to make it up to him another time,” he said followed by a sigh. Grizz frowned.” Thats ok, but is everything ok with Tabes?” He asked.

Charlie shrugged.” I dunno, but she said it was urgent, so I guess I better skidaddle,” and with that he left the cave, stopping at the edge of the clearing to wave goodbye before continuing...

-Present time-

Charlie sat motionless for a while, his eyes closed as he stayed silent. Slowly though, a sound began to ring in his ears which drew him out of his focus. He shook his head before looking around realizing, that this might be what he was looking for.

“Huh, the cries sound like they’re coming from over...there!” He stated as he instantly took off towards the noise. As he ran, the noise began to grow louder with each step. Charlie ran and ran until the sound was in seeing distance. He slowed down to a walk as he approached a clearing. What he saw made his heart drop and his blood freeze.

Charlie stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed a young human boy around the age of 12. He wore cargo shorts that passed his knees as well as a black shirt and a small back pack. He had scraggly black hair and brown eyes. A look of worry was plastered on his face and he appeared to be filled with fatigue as he weekly struggled to pull his leg free from 2 logs that had somehow managed to trap him.

Charlie kept his distance and watched as the kid manage to pull his leg free before he fell over and landed hard on the ground. It was quiet for a moment before the a small cry came from him. The boy turned over and sat up before examining his ankle by raising his pant leg. Even from the distance Charlie kept, he could see that the ankle was swollen and red.

“Oh C’mon!” The kid cried out, tears welling in his eyes as he tried to stand up, but only fell back down upon feeling the intense pain.” Crap...this is it...I messed up...I should’ve never run away from home...dammit...!”

Charlie knew as a Ranger, it was his job to protect any wild life that needs the help, but did this kid count as wild life? He leaned more against the tree and tried to get a better view, but to his dismay, a twig snapped under his boot causing the boy to snap his head in the direction the sound came from.

“Wh-who’s there!?” The boy cried out with a shaky voice only to get silence as Charlie ducked behind the tree, but it was too late.” Hey! I can see you behind that tree! Pl-please! I need help! I’m hurt! Can you help me...!?”

Charlie’s heart raced as he took a breath and stepped out from behind the tree. The boy looked at Charlie before it dawned on him what exactly he was looking at. His eyes widened with fear as Charlie slowly and carefully walked towards him.

“N-no! Stay back!” He cried out as he tried to crawl backwards, his gaze not leaving Charlie’s as he continued on. “Get the hell away from me! Leave me alone! Someone help! Anyone! Save me!!!”

“Hey, it’s ok little guy...!” Charlie Said causing the boy to shake his head in disbelief. “I’m not gonna hurt you! Calm down, please. I’m here to help...!” The kid stopped moving and swallowed nervously as Charlie knelt down in front of him.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was staring at, but it spoke to him. And...he was wearing Ranger clothes? What the hell was going on? He thought as he tried to calm down.

“Y-you...you spoke...” The boy sputtered causing Charlie to chuckle.” Well yeah! So can you!” Charlie Said. The boy tried to wrap his head on what was going on.

Was he hallucinating? If so, this was one hallucination he couldn’t see past.

“But...you’re a monster...”

Monster?

That was a new one. Charlie had been called many things, Chupacabra, big foot, heck, even a mysterious creature. But monster?

“I know I’m not the friendliest looking Charlie, but I promise, I want to help you,” explained Charlie as he took off his hat.” That’s my job, to help the helpless...”

The boys fear turned into anger as he scoffed.” I’m not helpless...! I’m...just kinda lost...!” He muttered before Charlie pulled out a gauze from his pouch and wrapped it around the boys ankle. He winced as the pain extended up his leg for a moment before he relaxed as the pain subsided. He looked up at Charlie before turning away.

“But...um...thanks anyways...” He said, causing a smile to break on Charlie’s face.” Aww, shucks! Don’t thank me yet! We still gotta get you back safe and sound...!” The boy nodded his head.

“Yeah, but that should be easy right? Since you know the way?” The boy asked as Charlie helped him slowly stand upright. With a grunt, the boy stood steady on his feet, a slight wobble to his stance.

“Sure Do!” Exclaimed Charlie as he took a few steps back to give the kid some space.” Just follow me and I’ll bring you back to the Rangers Station, er, wait, I don’t think I got your name? What was it?”

“Oh,” the boy looked down quietly for a moment before he chipped up.” It’s uh, Mike...” Charlie gleamed with excitement as they began to walk down the path.” Mike Huh? My name’s Charlie! Or you can call me whatever if that makes you comfortable.”

Mike shook his head.” Nah, Charlie’s a good name for you...it really suits you...” he stated with a smirk. This just seemed to make Charlie more excited as they got to know each other more, so he had to ask.

“Thanks...But um...how did you get wat the heck out here Mike?” Charlie asked.

Mike’s walking slowly came to a halt before he looked up nervously at Charlie.

“I...I was on a hiking trip with my parents...and I guess I kinda split up from the group...and gotten lost...”

Charlie burrowed his eyebrows and frowned.” Oh man! Then we better get back to the station quick! Your parents must be worried sick about you...!” It was after a few moments before Charlie realized Mike had stopped walking and was several feet behind him.

“Hey!” He called as he ran back to him.

“What’s wrong pal?” Mike shook his head as he let his bangs cover his eyes.

“I doubt that...” Mike said with a weak smile. He looked up at Charlie before turning on his heel.” There the reason-“ He sped off in the opposite direction before Charlie could react.” Why I’m here...!”

“M-Mike!” Charlie called out before he took off right after him.” Wait!” Even though the pain in his ankle made every fiber in his body shiver and ache, he knew he had to keep going. He wanted to find civilization again, but not if it meant by meeting his parents again.

Mike hopped over a fallen over tree and continued running, ignoring the faint calls of his name in the distance. Without warning, a vine wrapped around his ankle causing him to tumble and slide down a steep slope. Mike desperately grabbed at every branch and shrub on the floor, but to no avail.

He looked back in the direction he was sliding down towards and his eyes got wide. Growing nearer was a literal cliff drop, that appeared to go hundreds of feet down with no chance of surviving.

Mike could only watch in horror as every second that passed, he grew closer to his death. His life flashed before his eyes as they welled up with tears. With one final cry, he shut his eyes and grit his teeth and braced himself for the fall.

As he felt himself fall over the edge, he could only accept his fate. Was this his fault? Probably. All he could think about was how his death would go unnoticed. No one would care that he was gone, not even his parents. He just wished that at least someone was here to comfort him. He was a scared kid after all.

With a breath, he waited for the impact. And waited. And waited. But it never came. In fact, it didn’t even feel like he was falling at all. He slowly peeked open an eye before he opened both of them wide. He realized he was dangling upside down, swaying softly to the wind.

“What the?” He muttered. His leg above him appeared to be caught on something around the ankle. Hesitantly, he looked up and gasped at what he saw.

“Whew! I got you!” Said Charlie, one hand enclosed on his ankle and the other hanging on for dear life to the cliff edge.

“Just hang on! I’ll get you outta this...!”

Mike could only watch as Charlie struggled with what to do.

This is my fault.

Tears welled up in his eyes as they blurred his vision. Just moments ago, he was afraid to lose his life, but now? It’s all he wanted. Because of him, he was going to get this nice...creature killed... With one final breath Mike couldn’t take it anymore. He let out a cry of despair.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” Mike cried out.” Just let me fall! If not, we’re both gonna die...!” Charlie just shook his head and scoffed.” That wont happen! Everything in this forest is mine to protect!” Charlie shouted, gritting his teeth as his grip got weaker.” The trees, the life, everything! I’d give my life up for it all if it meant I could save you...” Mike looked at Charlie hysterically and yelled.”What!?”

Charlie began to sway Mikes body slowly building momentum. He looked down at Mike and grinned.”And I won’t let you down! Not on my waaaaaatch!!!”

And with that, Charlie used all his might to swing Mike high over the ledge and smack dab on the clearing. With a grunt, he pulled himself up and later on his back, panting for air. Mike was also doing the same, his breathing more heavier than Charlie’s.

As he lay there, reality set in his mind and he felt guilty when he realized what he had cause.” Charlie...” he started, trying to hold back any tears as he sat up.

“I’m sorry...! I’m so so sorry...! I almost got us killed...I...can you forgive me!? I didn’t know what to do...! You were gonna take me back to my parents and I-“

Before he could finish, Charlie leaned in and embraced him in a hug.” Hey, hey! It’s ok!” Comforted Charlie while his body trembled slightly from his own near death experience.” I’m sure you had your reasons. It’s not your fault...”

Mike tensed up a bit before he leaned into the hug and finally, the tears began to pour. He just wanted to get away from all this. He just wanted to go home, but he knew that could never happen.

Mike noticed how scared Charlie was, so in an attempt, he pulled away and let out a shaky breath.” We should get going...” Mike muttered getting a confused look

from Charlie.” It’s gonna get dark soon...”

Charlie turned his head and did see the sun nearing towards the ground of the horizon. With a nod of his head and huff, he stood up.” Yeah, you’re right. We better get moving...”

Mike pursed his lips as Charlie pulled out any leaves that got caught in his hat as the two continued to walk. Mike was completely silent the whole time, afraid to do anything that’ll land him in more hot water than he already is.

“All he was trying to do was help me,” he thought as he stole a glance at Charlie. “If only I could tell him...but...how would he react...?” Suddenly Mike crashes into Charlie before taking a step back.” Huh? What happened? What’s going on?” He asked.

Instead of getting a response, Charlie hopped onto the nearest tree. Mike watched in awe as Charlie easily scaled the trees as if it was nothing. Clearly, he had been doing this for years because he made it look like child’s play .

In a matter of seconds, Charlie reached the peak of the tree and looked around the whole area. That’s when a worried look formed on his face. He was up there for some time, but after another a moment, he slid all the way down the side of the tree before landing with a thud.

“This isn’t good...” Charlie muttered taking off his hat and scratching the back of his head. Mike stood there and watched as Charlie paced back and force, deep in thought. It was obvious something was worrying the cryptic so Mike had to figure out what was bothering him.

“Charlie...” Mike started catching the squatch’s attention.” What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong...?” Charlie burrowed his brow for a moment before sighing.” To be honest kid, none of this looks familiar...” Charlie muttered causing Mikes face to fall.” I don’t think I’ve been to this part of the forest yet... everything is new to me and...I have no idea where we are...!”

Mike swallowed nervously as he fell back and sat down on the ground.” You mean, we’re gonna have to try and survive out here? With no equipment or food or anything!?” He asked, a feeling of despair washing over the two. Charlie nodded.

Mike looked down and let out a small laugh.” Man, could this day get any better?” As if on que, thunder roared across the woods causing several birds to fly out into the sky. Mike could only shake his head before turning to Charlie.

“So what now Mr. Expert?” Asked Mike.

“Got any bright ideas?”

Charlie nodded his head.” Yeah,” he said helping Mike back up on his feet.” First things first, we gotta find some shelter before nightfall, or before it rains, because the woods become extremely dangerous with one of those around...”

Mike sighed before nodding his head. And with that, the two began to walk deeper into the woods, with the storm and nightfall closing in in them...

(End of Chapter 1)

Ok I’ve been meaning to post this for a while now, but it’s something for the whole We Bare Bears Hiatus. Sorry for spelling errors and typos. It’s my first story in a while and I’m working on this to be made into a illustrated comic. Anyways, part 2 is already almost done, so stay tuned! And feedback is greatly appreciated!

[modharlow]

Today was one of those days again. The sky looked stormy yet shed no rain, the sun barely peeking out for a second before sheltering itself away. People were bustling about to do their everyday work, all seeming to enjoy themselves. Oh, how you wish that were you, but alas it was not. No, you were out here, passing through Valentine, because some sorry excuse of a father left the camp again. “Probably drunk off his ass again.” You lowly hissed out.

When Charles came up to Dutch and reported the missing man, the leaders eyes happened to fall on you to retrieve him. Fortunately he also sent Arthur with you. “I trust you kid,” Dutch started off as he lead you to your horse, “but not enough to believe you won’t kick Mr. Swanson’s ass.”

Well… at least he was cautious because he was right. If it had been just you, you would’ve beat the man black and blue—mostly out of anger but if you happen to fix whatever the hell was going on in that mans brain then that’d work fine too.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied hands on him, though you never want “too far”. Given everything he’d done, or hasn’t done for better words, you going easy on him was a mercy.

”Aw, now now, little birdy,” Arthur’s voice cut through your thoughts, “I know that face. Don’t tell me you plannin’ on killin’ him this time?” His tone was joking but you couldn’t help the silent “and if I do?” that came out.

Letting out a whistle, the outlaw adjusted his hat. “You ever gonna tell me what’s the bad blood between you two?”

”On my deathbed, maybe.”

”Don’t be like that.” He replied, his tone growing soft. “He’s still your father. Doesn’t help that he’s always drunk, I know, but he’s tryin’.”

You swore you’ve never felt such hot rage boil deep inside your veins. Your knuckles turned white from your grip in the horses’ reins and your teeth clenched down to prevent you from shouting at your friend. “Arthur,” your voice was tense, just like your body, “don’t be defendin’ that man when you’ve no reason.”

The ride was silent now, save for the goodhearted people that said hello to either of you as you passed, until you both made it out of town.

Arthur let out a long sigh before taking lead and changing the direction you both were going. “C’mon, we’re gonna talk this out, you ‘nd me.”

”Arthur-”

”We’ll find him, trust me. We always do. Right now you just need to explain to me why the hell you hate his guts so much when neither of you even look at each other.”

You took note at the new destination. It was somewhere away from the roads, perfect for a private talk.

Now it was your turn to let out a long sigh. You didn’t say anything until you both ended up by some trees. From there Arthur got off his horse and motioned for you to do the same. When you did he sat both you down at the foot of a tree, perfectly protected from prying ears and the possible rain if it were to happen.

Leaning his head against the tree, Arthur spoke. “When you joined our camp you were so happy, so giddy. You didn’t have a care in the world. It was… nice. A nice change of pace.”

”I was young then. I didn’t understand anythin’.”

”What makes you think you understand now?”

Scoffing, you turned away from him brought your knees to your chest. Silently, you said, “I understand enough to know he’s a dead-beat dad.”

”Feel like elaboratin’?”

It became silent again. The horses were eating grass as the tree swayed itself side-to-side, birds flying overhead in a mixture of dull colors. All were unaware of the grief and burning hatred you held inside.

Taking in a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth, you started to pick at the dirt and rocks in the ground. “I was four when mama died.” You breathed out. “I didn’t know that’s what it was. Just thought she was nappin’, y’know? She’d always seemed so… tired.” You faintly turned to face Arthur. “Was like she lost her light.” A soft chuckle filled the moment. “Guess in the end… she did, huh?”

”I’m… Listen, I-”

”You wanna know how she died, Arthur?” You were facing him now, your face calm yet the grip you had on a spare rock from the ground said otherwise. “She used the exact mechanisms my father’s usin’ right now.” You turned your attention to the rock in your hands, fingers nimbly toying with it. “Turns out, you know, that she didn’t want a child. She wanted to be free… but was tied down because of me—and dad? Oh, well, he had his teachings to do. No, he could never come home on time or spend some moments with his only kid.” You tossed the rock away from you, your eyes narrowing to keep yourself at bay. “Don’t think he wanted a child either.”

”Now that ain’t true.” Arthur interjected before flinching slightly at your glare yet not faltering. “I dunno about your mama but Reverend loves you.”

”If he loved me then why the hell are we out here having to look for his sorry ass?!” You yelled, getting up from your spot and walking away a few steps. “If he loved me then why was he never there for me? When men would be lookin’ at me weirdly, or when kids would hurt me ‘cause I only had one parent? What about when I was almost kidnapped ‘cause his dumbass had a damn “meeting” to go too, huh?”

Arthur got up too with his hands held up in surrender as he took careful steps towards you. “Easy now. It’s okay. You’re okay.” But his words fell on deaf ears as you let your pent up emotions explode inside you.

”I was six when I learned what death was. I tried killin’ myself, then tried again a few months later. I was eight when I tried to talk to him only for him to push me away. I was nine when I ran away before comin’ back. It’s funny, you know, ‘cause it was like he didn’t notice I was gone.” You swallowed down the sob that desparely wanted to come out, instead letting whimpers leave your mouth. “I was fourteen when I realized he didn’t care for me. He never did, he only worries about himself—if you can even call whatever he’s doin’, “worrying”.”

You furiously wiped at your eyes, teeth eating away at your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying more. “Arthur. Arthur, I’m bein’ honest when I say this,” you took in a shaky breath, “I’ve dreamt of killin’ him. I’ve always felt free when I did it, too. It felt so refreshin’ to me. Was like chains were melted off and I could finally run again. It’s a feelin’ I chase after every time we have to look for him.”

When you looked up at Arthur with those vulnerable eyes, he was at a loss for words. He thinks back to his own memories of you being that happy-go-lucky kid he grew up with and felt his chest tighten. So was that all a facade so you could hide away your pain? How had he not noticed to sooner? Did anyone else know? Dutch? Hosea? You were close to those two but… did you ever really let them in?

”I’m… I’m sorry, I…” Those were not the words he wanted to say. Truly, he didn’t know what to say. He knew Swanson was not an ideal father but this—this is how you were treated? How you lived your life? “I don’t… know what to say.”

”No one ever does.”

After a short pause, Arthur felt his own anger begin to form when your died down. “Why the hell do we still keep him ‘round then? If he’s like this to you, then why don’t we just get rid of him? You’re the only one we really need. You hunt, fish, and you can even haggle someone almost as well as Hosea! He doesn’t do shit-”

”Arthur, I thank you for feelin’ my anger for me but it’s… I hate him, I do, but it’s more complex than that.” Now you felt bad for pulling your friend along with your emotions. You should’ve kept your mouth shut like you always had, only showing anger when it was just you and your dad alone.

Huffing, Arthur let his hands hold onto his belt as he leaned on his foot. “Well… we got all the time in the world for you to talk.”

While you dried off your wet face with your sleeve, you tried to formulate the correct words. “It’s… hard to explain. If he’s gone then… I’ll have no more blood-family. ‘Nd despite everythin’, well, he still let me go with him to join Dutch when he could’ve left me.” You voice trailed off, your eyes straying from the looks Arthur was giving you. “I-I know, okay? It’s idiotic for me to feel like this even after all that’s happened but I just—I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He lost his wife, ‘nd now I’m all that he has. Even if we don’t talk…”

”I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Arthur muttered as he took steps towards you. “I ain’t ever been in your boots so I guess I can’t say much but,” cautiously, he put his arms around you, “if you ever want his ass gone, just say so. Or if you… if you wanna leave ‘nd let him stay with the gang then… that’s alright. Just tell me beforehand, okay? I’d be mighty down if you up and left without a goodbye.”

You nodded your head while you returned the hug. Your eyelids stung and your body felt heavy from your outbursts of emotions, though you couldn’t deny how safe you felt right at this moment.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of being openly loved by someone you held dear to you.

Arthur had been your first since you were first welcomed to the gang and a side of you berated yourself for keeping silent from him for so long. Still, within these moments, you felt alright. You felt… free. “I won’t leave. Not when I have someone like you lookin’ out for me.” You tried to bury yourself deep into his chest, wanting to stay with this comfort for much longer. Softly, you whispered out, “Thank you.”

[gum-xx-drop]

Ok so... my first one shot.

I've never wrote anything before, so this is kinda scary, sorry its kinda crap! Oh well here goes nothing!...

(I’m gonna tag some peeps, sorry, @delthewolf @shadowstakeall @kisstheashes @hotcocoachia @glixbitch )

It was cold and dark, thats all he knew. He woke up here, in this dark abyss. The last thing he remebered was recording something. What was it again? Stories Untold? Ah yes that was it! The first episode. But then, something happened. He was doing his regular outro, but then. He heard noises and the door began to open and then...

That was it, darkness consumed him and he woke up here. What the hell happened?

He decided to look around more, he attempted to walk further into the abyss only to find his wrists and ankles in chains, connected to the cold concrete floor. A combination of panic and fear began to settle in as he tugged at the chains, attempting some sort of escape. They wouldn't budge.

Peering into the darkeness more, he called out,

"Hello...?"

Nothing, but the echo of his voice was heard. Until.

He sworn he heard a faint giggle, a giggle that would send chills up ones spine, a giggle that was... familiar.

Static started to fill the air, and it was at this moment that he knew how screwed he really was. Static began to build up a few feet away from him, it culminated and a dark figure appeared . The figure continued to walk closer and closer until it stopped mere inches away from him. He knew who it was, his evil self. An entity that was hellbent on destroying them all. Since that fatefull halloween when he had first appeared and forced him to slit his own throat. But he'd survived, saved by the good doctor. The green haired demon found out of course, and since then had been behind the scenes, plotting his sweet revenge. I guess today was the day his plans came into action.

He glared at the demon in front of him, who returned the glare with a sinical smile.

"Well, ͝we͢ļl͢ ͜,̕ẁèl̕l ̸J̸a͜cķi͝eb̧oy̸.̛ L͠ơng ́ti͢m̵e,͟ n̶o͢ ͜s̷ee."

"What the fuck do you want Anti? What the hell is this place!?" he spat back.

The glitchy figure paced the floor, circled him. Like a predator circles its prey before going in for the kill.

Moments passed and Jack began to become more tense and aggitated with each second that went by without an answer.

Until finally the glitch stopped and faced him, but instead of giving him the answer he needed, the demon just laughed. A maniacal laugh that could drive someone insane.

"T͞h̴is pl͝a͢c̢e. I͡s a p͘l͝àce͟ w̧h̡ere n̸o̧ ͟ơńe ͠wi̕l͘l fi̸nd yo͡u, no͠ hęro͘es͠ ̧w͟il̀l̷ s҉av̵e̶ ́yóu̷, ͞no͟ ̴do͞c̕t̵o͝rs͟ wi͝l̨l ̡hȩal͢ y̷ou.̴ ͜It's j́ust͡ ͢y̧ou͘ ͠án͝d̢ m̀e͜ J͜acki̧ębo҉y.͏ ̷A͘ņd̡ we'͟r̶e̷ g͝oi͠n̸g to̧ ͟h̕ave ̧a̷ ͢lo̡t͘ ̵o͡f ̨fu̵n̕.͏"

And with that the he glitched in front of Jack. The demon firmly gripped his coffee coloured hair and raised his head up, then held a knife to his now exposed throat.

The movement was so quick, that Jack had no time to react. His eyes went wide with fear as he stared down at the knife that could so easily kill him.

"Why-y are you doing this?"

The glitch pressed the knife down slightly harder, a whimper escaped Jack's mouth.

"Y̴o͘u͡'v́é h̀e͠l̶d c͠o͝nt̨rol̢ ̧f҉o͝r ̸t̴oo long!͟ ͟I͢'͏vę beèn ́p͟ush́éd͠ d͢o͏ẃn̛, I̢'v͡ę be͞e̡n͝ ͝hȩĺd b̢a̶ck̡! Y҉o̸ur̷ ͠pr͞éc̷i҉ou͟s ̕co̵m̢munt̕iy p͜ra̴ct̴i̴c̢al̸l̴y͞ b͏eǵs̡ f̵or m̕e to ̀r̡et͟uŗn!"

With each sentence, the demon became more furious, anger built up inside him. He began to glitch violently.

"S̛̕͟o̸̢͘ ̕͡n̸͘ò͟͜w͞ ͠҉i͘t̶͟͞'̵̴̢s ͏m͘͟y ̛t̷͡ur̸̡n͜͏!̨͜͠ ͏̀W̴̷i͘͜t́҉͞h ̨y̢̨̕ò̴͘u͞͏ ̀͠o̧̢u̴̶̡t̶ ̴̕͡o̧f̡̛ ̡t̷̶͞hȩ ̧̨p̢͢i҉cture,̸͜ ̷̢̕t͞h́ơs̴e ̸̕p̢̨at͞h̛e̵t̛̕i͠c ̷e͢͢g͠͏҉o͏̶s̷ of̴́ y̶o̷̶ur̀͟s̸͞ ̵̀w̨i͞l̵̸͟ļ͞ ͜͜có̷me ̸͠o̴u͜͞t ͢o͞͞f̴̀͡ ̶͡hidi͟n̵͡g.̷ ̡̡͟A̵͘n̸̡d ̴̵o͡n̕͟͞e̵̶ ͟͜b͏y ̡o̵n҉é̢ ̶̧͜I̕͠ ̴w̕͢il̶̢͟l̕͡ t̵̀a̴͏̧r̢͢͡e͟͝ ͠t҉͜h̶͘e͞m̷̢ ̸ap̸à̢̧ŕt͢͡!̶́͟ Ứn̵̢ti͡l̢͢ ̷̶̸t͢͡h̕é̡̛re҉'͘͠͞s̵̴ ̧͘n̨ó̸t̀h̶͡i͜ng̢͟ ̨l̵ef͟͢t͞,͏̷ ́͢t͢h̀͢at'̀͡s̸̸͞ w̶͞h̡è͞n̢̢̡ ỳ҉o̵̵u'̸ll ̵͜͢w̕̕͡á̵ke̛ ҉̨u͜p҉͞ ̵ąn̶̡̨d͠ ͝se̵̷e҉ ́t̕͝h̶̀a̴͢t̵̕͜ ̛͏à̸͠l͠l̵̀ t̨h͡os͜͏ę̵ ̨͘m͘͡i̕͡͞n̡̢͡dle̡̕s̷̷s ͟҉̸pu͏͏͢p̷̀͞ṕ̕èt̛͞s̸ ̛̛͝f̴o̢̨͟l͜l̴o̸w̷̴ ͢m̀͞è͘!̛͘"

Wake up? What did he mean wake up?

Suddenly, with brute force, Anti threw Jack to the ground. Only to then deliver a swift blow to the stomach that left the irishman winded on the ground.

Jack felt a boot press down on his chest as he tried to recover from the previous blow. Anti knelt down in front of Jack's face. So close that Jack could smell the dry blood that stained Anti's slit neck.

Jack grunted, trying to lift the foot of his chest but to no avail.

"W-hat do- yo-u mean... I'll wake - up?

His evil self seemed to smirk at the question. He got closer to Jack's face.

"O͢h. ̶I͟ hav͠en͝'t ́tơld you ͞the̕ b͠est͜ p̴art,͢ ha̕ve̢ I? Y͟ǫu're ͢in ́a̸ ҉c̀ơm̸a ̧J̢ac͞k. I h̢ave ̸t͝r̸ap͘ped you in you͡r̶ ͞o͠wn ̷min̶d͘. A҉nd҉ ̵y̨ou̷ will ̢onl̵y̶ wa̴k͜e̸ u̶p͟ ͜w͠hen̶ Í ̴l̶et̶ yoù..͠."

Jack's eyes widened in horror. His shallow breathing became fast and panicked. He was wrong? He had to be lying? Right? Right!?

With that the glitch released the pressure off Jack's chest and began to walk off into the neverending darkness. Jack scrambled to his feat in pursuit of the demon. Only to be yanked back by the unforgiving chains that bounded him to this place.

"Anti no wait! Come back! Anti. Please, don't hurt them!!! ANTI, ANTI!!!" The Irishman screams echoed.

Anti didn't need to look back, he couldn't afford to. Sure he'll be back for Jack but now, now he had other work to do...

[rohobi]

Pretty Woman | (B)

PAIRING— kim namjoon x reader, Pretty WomanAU GENRE — fluff, smut, angst SUMMARY — based entirely off the 1990′s film ‘Pretty Woman’. Nothing below is my original work, all credit goes to the movie. Kim Namjoon is a wealthy businessman who arrives in Hollywood to meet with a tycoon of a shipbuilding company he’s in the process of raiding. Lost trying to find his hotel, he meets you, a feisty and straight up prostitute on Hollywood Boulevard. 

↪ A/N: I am appalled by the amount of youth who have not seen this film. I have linked the film for your viewing pleasure here because it’s a fucking classic.  Otherwise, just read this lmao complete summary of the movie. 

During a phone call with his younger girlfriend, she dumps him for being too controlling. Namjoon is frustrated and sick of the women in his life only after one thing; his money. Not taking her seriously, he rolls his eyes and asks her to escort him home -as he doesn’t live in LA and this is her playground. “This is a very important week for me darling, I need you at every moment. I thought my secretary cleared you?” 

“You never give me any notice and I speak more to your fucking secretary than I do with you.” 

“I am sorry if I made you upset, this deal is very important and I need you here this minute, please if you could-

She hangs up on him after telling him to “fuck off Namjoon, I am not your beck and call girl. I’m moving out, when you get back to New York, my stuff will be gone.” Putting the phone back into his suit pocket, he slumps against the bar, drinking the rest of his coke. 

Kim Namjoon finds himself accidentally ending up on Hollywood Boulevard in the city’s red-light district in his lawyers Lotus Esprit sports car, after forcing him to give him the keys. Not thinking his actions through, he speeds up the hill instead of down, where Beverly Hills is located. 

Forced awake by the three alarms clocks, you pull yourself out of your makeshift mattress on the floor and get ready for you shift on the streets. Wearing thigh high leather boots, a small denim skirt, a white tank, short blonde wig and a train conductors hat, you walk to work. 

Except, your landlords banging on your door for rent, stopping you from leaving. Opening the back of the toilet compartment for this months rent, you find the box where you kept your rent money empty.

Sighing. You put it back into the compartment as your landlord continues to bang on your door. Grabbing a red coat, you open the window and escape from paying rent with money you don’t have down the fire escape. 

You’ve always loved Hollywood at night. Busy streets, the distant sound of police sirens, homeless men in expensive threads offering advice on the key to happiness. 

But tonight, it’s different. Detective Albertson, the usual cop on these roads is interviewing men -key witnesses. It looks like another ones been killed -drug deal gone wrong. It’s been happening a lot these days, it’s a reason why you’re thankful that you’re strictly against drugs, never letting yourself sink to that low. 

Hooking was enough. 

Only when you get close, you realise it’s not one of the boys but one of your own.  

Slipping past the police, you walk into the alleyway as police attempt to identify the body. You silently lean over the man holding the camera as they cover her body. 

Marie. 

She was only 18, had a bright future ahead of her. You hadn’t seen her in weeks. Had she been in the dumpster this entire time? 

“Another kitten on the streets buying crack like it’s milk, the fuck these kids doing these days,” a police officer says, almost a little too passively. “How many girls are we going to find in the dumpster this week?” 

Feeling vomit rise up your throat, you run across the road to Irene’s usual hangout. You love your roommate usually but today, you’re angry. Fist bumping the bouncer, he lets you in as you walk through the mostly red lit club. Walking up to the bartender, a familiar of yours, he grins. “Nice to see you this evening, run out of books?” 

“Had to use them as kindling,” you smile back. “Hey pops, you know where Irene is?” 

He nods his head to the stairs. “Upstairs kid.” 

“Thanks.” 

You spot her in the far corner, combing her hair. “Irene.” you shout over the music. She looks up, happy as fucking larry. “Hey, y/n.”

“Did you take it all? Is it all gone?” 

She looks nervous, standing up, she shouts. “Carlos sold me some good shit, we just had this great party I hosted-

-I can’t believe you bought drugs with out rent money, whats wrong with you?” You interrupt her, hands on your hips. 

Her eyes glisten with tears. “I needed a little pick me up.”

You shout at her. “Well, we need rent money.”  

Grabbing your arm, she pulls you down to the bar for snacks. She gives you the same look she gave you when you knocked on her door 8 months ago. “I gave you place to say and some money, don’t irritate me.”

“I just saw a girl get pulled out of a dumpster for buying drugs Irene.” 

She puts a couple grapes in her mouth. “Yeah, I know. Marie. She was a crackhead for months. No one could help her.”

Girls fight in the distance, you both watch them crash to the ground in nonchalance. “Look Irene,” you whisper, facing her. “Don’t you want to get out of here?”  

“Where, where the fuck you wanna go?” 

You sink in your chair, “I guess, anywhere but here.” 

Namjoon can’t drive the sports car. That he knows well as he pulls up next to a homeless man carting through someones rubbish. “You know how to get to Beverly Hills?” he asks, leaning towards the window from the drivers seat. 

The man laughs. “Honey, you’re in Beverly Hills right now!” 

Namjoon drives away. “Of course I am.” 

Irene leans on the parking metre as you rub your heel against your designated Hollywood star. “Maybe we should get pimps?” she asks and you snort laugh your way to Africa. 

“And what, ruin our lives and he takes all of our money? No way.” 

She nods. “You’re right. We say who, we say when and how much.” 

A car skids behind them. Irene gasps. “Yo, catch this out.” 

“Wait a minute, that’s a lotus?” you gasp, watching it skid to a halt on the curb a couple metres away from you.   

“No baby, that’s rent. You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don’t take less than a couple hundred. Call me when you’re done. Take care of you.” she pulls you into a hug. 

“Take care of you too.” you say back. 

In his confusion with how to drive the car, he skids over to the curb where he encounters a prostitute by the parking metre, you. 

“Sugar, you want a date?” you ask. Leaning on his open window, you watch in amusement as he tries to remember how to turn the car back on. “Do you not know how to drive your car, sir?” 

”Driving this car is the least of my worries, do you perhaps know the directions to Beverly Hills Regent Hotel?” he asks, turning back to you. You admire his stunning brown eyes and reassuring grin. 

”Do I perhaps know my own city?” you snort, chewing your gum, you look him up and down. Not bad. “I know it like the back of my hand. It’s gonna cost you $5 though.” 

“That’s ridiculous-

“-price just went up to $10.” 

He stares at you in disbelief. “You can’t charge for directions.” 

“I can do whatever I want to baby, i’m not the one lost.” 

"Alright fine. Please, will you help me? Can you guide me there?” he begs, holding his two hands up in a praying expression, a twenty hanging between them. 

You hop in. “Alright, down the road, make a right.” 

“So what’s your name?” he asks. 

“Anything you want it to be?” you wink at him. Namjoon stares at you, still waiting for a name. 

“Fine, my name’s Y/N.” 

After much discussion on how to drive the expensive sports car, it becomes clear that you know more about the Lotus than he does, and so he lets you drive instead. 

“This is gonna cost ya,” you mumble, spitting out your gum on the sidewalk as you run over to the drivers seat. “Never driven a car in thigh high leather boots before.” 

“I’ve never let a hooker drive my car before, new experiences for both of us.”

You snort laugh. “It’s gonna cost ya another $20. I’m sure you have the much on you, right?” 

He gapes at you. “Of course.” 

“So, tell me. What kind of money you girls make these days?” he asks, folding his coat on his pocket as you drive. 

“I don’t take less than a couple hundred dollars.” you lie, clutching onto the wheel. Your usual was 100 but, he looks rich. 

He gapes at you. “A night?” 

“An hour.” 

“You’re making that kind of money an hour and you’ve got a safety pin holding your boot up? You gotta be joking.”

You look at him seriously. “I never joke about money.”  

“Neither do I.” 

You drive through the night life silently. “$200 an hour, pretty stiff.” 

Without taking your eyes off the road, you put your hand on his crutch. Softly palming him through his suit pants. “Well, no but it's got potential.” 

He looks up at you with a blank expression. You put your hand back on the wheel and grin. 

Namjoon gives you a $50 note for the ride after you park his car outside the hotel, and then you separate. 

Re-calling his girlfriend one more time, or more accurately, his now ex-girlfriend, she screams at him to get a hooker and to leave her alone. 

He slumps himself against the elevator and then he looks out the window from his hotel penthouse room in thought. Maybe he should get a hooker. 

You go to a bus stop, where he finds you again moments later and offers to hire you for the night. You accept, needing the rent money and he hands you a roll of money in his hotel room. You lick your fingers as you count over $1000 dollars. Your heart races as you put the money in your boot, thats more than enough for rent for a couple months and a little extra for school. 

Pulling out your collection of condoms from your boot, held up by the safety pin. You offer him one of each colour, ready to put one on him when he stops you, asking to instead just simply, talk. 

Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you tell him you’ll be out in a moment and that the wine they just had really got to you. Thinking you to be taking drugs, he barges through the door as you hold dental floss behind your back. “I don’t do drugs, I just think you shouldn’t neglect your gums.” 

He stands at the door. 

You stare at him in the mirror. “Are you going to watch?” 

“No, it’s just,” He shakes his head. “Very few people surprise me.” 

“Well yeah, you’re lucky. Most shock the hell out of me.” 

Later on that night, he’s at his desk finishing up on his documents and you’re on the floor by the tv -boots off, eating strawberries and popcorn, and watching old movies. He sits on the couch beside you, dropping all of his paperwork to instead watch the way your smile lights up your face when something funny happens on TV. He finds it refreshing.  

Spurred on by the intense look on his face, you climb to your knees and crawl between his thighs. Rubbing your hands up his thighs, you palm him without breaking eye contact. He tries to kiss you but you hold a finger on his lips, informing him of your no kissing rule. 

You give him a blow job that night, and he falls asleep on the couch when he’s done. You run to his bedroom and fall asleep on the most expensive bed you’ve ever touched. 

You have the best sleep of your life. 

The next morning, you awake to a full table of breakfast. Namjoon didn’t know what you liked so he ordered everything from avocado on toast to bacon and eggs. 

Wearing a matching bathrobe, you sit beside him. He’s surprised by your natural hair, in fact, he thinks you look beautiful as you eat the toast with your hands. You ask him about his life, feeling overwhelmed over just how articulate and rich this man is. 

You liken his job of buying companies in financial difficulties and then selling them off to stealing cars and selling the parts. Namjoon begins to look at his business in a new light. 

Listening to music and singing in the bathtub that morning, Namjoon receives a call from his lawyer, Jackson, that insists he brings a date to the business to act as a buffer. Offering a laundry list of nice girls he knows, Namjoon cuts him off, smiling at you in the bath tub. “You don’t know any nice girls and besides, I already have one.” 

“Y/N,” he says, and you pull out the earphones, feeling embarrased over your moment of careless bliss. “Sorry, I love that song.” you whisper.  

“Y/N, I have a business proposition for you.” 

He asks you to play the role his girlfriend has refused, offering you $5,000 to stay with him for the next six days as well as paying for a new, more acceptable wardrobe for you. 

He gives you his credit card, requesting that you only purchase clothes that are elegant and conservative. He leaves not much later and you scream to your hearts content, jumping on his bed in celebration of $5,000! 

Picking up the phone you call Irene, and you both scream into each others ears. Holding up his card into the sunlight, you ask. “Where do I go for the clothes?” 

“Rodeo Drive baby.” 

You leave the hotel with the same clothes you walked in with, gaining the unwanted attention of men and scowls from women in the main lobby. Walking down Rodeo, you marvel at the expensive threads in windows before you look back at the card in your hands, kissing it. 

You enter a designer brand with a nice dress out front. Each customer service representative in the room, look at you in distaste. “Are you looking for something in particular?” a woman asks, following you as you look at the clothes. 

You smile at her. “Yes actually, something conservative but I don’t know really.” 

“Oh, conservative yes.” 

You hold the hem of a pretty lace dress. “I like your clothes here, nice stuff. How much is this dress here?” 

“I don’t think it would fit you.” 

“Well, I didn’t ask if it would fit, I asked how much it was.” 

She turns to another customer service rep. “How much is this Mary?” 

Mary crosses her arms across her chest. “It’s very expensive.” 

“Very expensive.” 

You turn to look at other clothes. “Look, I have money to spend here.” 

Mary cuts you off from looking at a dress. “I don’t think we have anything here for you,” looking you up and down, she adds. “You’re obviously in the wrong place. Please leave.” 

Leaving the store silently, tears glistening in your eyes. You walk back to the hotel, disheartened by the woman in this world. Walking through the lobby, you are stopped by a soft-hearted Hotel Manager, Barney, who asks that you dress appropriately in his hotel. 

You cry your heart out, telling him that is what you were trying to achieve today.  He asks what you were trying to purchase. You tell him that you were trying to buy a dress for a dinner this evening. 

Walking around the desk, he picks up the phone. You immediately think he’s calling the police but are instead relieved to hear that he’s calling Womens Clothing just for you. 

“I’m sending Y/N over to you, she is the very special family member of a very special guest here at the Beverly Hills Regent Hotel.” 

You smile, feeling the kindness from an otherwise strict man. 

Now having a dress for the evening, you ask Barney, the hotel manager to teach you etiquette. He spends a couple of hours of his own free time to teach you. Still confused by the silverware, he advices you to follow after Namjoon’s lead. 

“The rich just make it more difficult for themselves don’t they?” you snort laugh, picking up the many forks on the table. 

That evening, you sit at the bar in the lobby wearing a black cocktail dress. Visibly moved by you transformation, Namjoon begins seeing you in a very different light. Openly gaping at you as you walk up to him, you chastise him for being late. “You’re late Mr. Kim.” 

“And you are stunning.” 

The dinner is intense. You don’t know an awful lot about his business but he tells you on the way to the restaurant that this is a company he wishes to purchase, sell off and make lots of money from. Even potentially gaining a billion dollars.  

You ask him what the point is when he doesn’t do anything with the money. He laughs, holding you close to him. “I bought you for the week didn’t I?” 

“That is correct but I am a dollar in the sea of billions.” 

He thinks on that as he walks you to the table where two gentlemen await; a father and his adult grandson. As the dinner continues, the men admire your innocence, even comforting your lack of knowledge on the food and type of silverware to use. 

As you try to eat, the discussions get heated as they ask what Namjoon plans to happen to their family company. He is honest, tells them he plans to break it apart and sell the pieces. 

They are understandably hurt. 

You are understandably confused on how to use the apparatus to eat the snail escargot, whatever they called it. At the peak of anger, the snail flies out of your hands and into a waiters arms. It’s a welcomed distraction, as the men laugh but it doesn’t downplay the serious business at hand. 

Namjoon is called a bastard who uses corrupt politicians to his advantages.

The men wish you well as they leave. 

“We are similar creatures Y/N,” he says, walking you back to his hotel room. “We both screw people for money.” 

Later that evening, Namjoon has disappeared and hasn’t come to bed, its now 3am. Getting worried, you call the hotel elevator service if they have seen him. In nothing but a bathrobe, they take you to the hotels piano room where Namjoon has slumped himself over the keys to play a passionate piece.

You lean against the piano.

Namjoon stops playing, asking everyone in the room to leave. 

Grabbing you by the waist, he pulls you against the keys so you stand before him. Leaning his head on your stomach, you tangle your fingers through his hair. “You okay?” 

Saying nothing else, he unties your bathrobe to run his fingers over your lingerie. Lifting you up and onto the piano, you whisper. “I guess so.” 

He tries to kiss you but you pull away. 

Not letting it ruin the moment, he lays you down on top of the piano. Eating you out. The soft sounds of mismatched piano keys are the only thing heard from outside the room. 

The next day, he takes you shopping and oh boy do you get your revenge on those nasty girls from the day before. Spending thousands on clothes for you, Namjoon informs you that people are never kind to other people, they’re only kind to money.

You remember this as you walks into the store from yesterday in nothing but Chanel from head to toe, holding up bags from the likes of Gucci and Prada. “Hi,” you say, walking up to the same woman from yesterday. “Do you remember me?” 

“I’m sorry, I do not.” 

“I came in yesterday, you wouldn’t wait on me.” 

Walking around the store, you smile. “You work on comission right?” 

“Ah yes.” she says. 

“Well, big mistake. Huge mistake,” holding your bags, she looks at the labels on each, a gasp tears through her lips. “I have to go shopping now, goodbye.” 

You leave the store with a swing in your hips. The ladies watch on in disbelief. 

In his office, Namjoon is told if he makes one single phone call to the bank, he can ruin the family business owner he met last evening. He ignores Jackson as he talks about money, as he mindlessly stacks glass cups on each other. 

Namjoon is uncomfortable with the idea that he doesn’t build or make anything like you asked him if he did. Growing increasingly uncomfortable with a company that tears smaller ones apart, he gets an idea that might just change the entire course of his life. 

Back at the hotel, you await beside a candle lit dinner naked. Namjoon comes home and with a happy face, asks that you bathe together, hoping to wash away the grime he feels like he is. 

Namjoon takes you to a polo match in hopes of networking for his business deal. His attorney, Jackson, suspects you as a corporate spy, and Namjoon tells him how you truly met after watching you converse with another man. 

He’s ashamed of the jealousy he feels. 

But when he sees you smile so widely and it’s not because of him, he’s baffled. When had you gotten so close? 

Jackson later approaches you, suggesting they do business once your work with Namjoon is finished. Insulted, and furious that Namjoon has revealed your secret, you want to end the arrangement.

Namjoon apologizes, and admits to feeling jealous of a business associate to whom you paid attention to at the match. You fight in the hotel lobby, yelling at him for making you feel the cheapest you’ve ever felt in your life. 

“Somehow, I find that hard to believe.” 

You shake your head, dismissing his comments. “I wanna get my money and get outta here.” 

He stares at you for a long hard minute before emptying his wallet and walking away. You stare at the money before deciding not to take it. Namjoon chases after you as you’re about to get into the elevator. 

He sincerely apologies and you let him take you back into the room.  You sleep together that night, staying up late, talking about each others lives. You tell him how you got into hooking because you followed an old exboyfriend who abandoned you in the city. 

You couldn’t make rent after working three jobs and then you met Irene, who took you in and made hooking sound great. “The first time I did it, I cried the whole time. It’s not like it’s a star profession, a dream, something kids grow up wanting to be.” 

“You could be so much more.” he whispers, kissing your temple. 

You cuddle into his naked chest. “But then people put you down when you start to believe that.” 

“I think you’re very bright, a very beautiful and special person.” 

“You ever notice that the bad things are easier to believe?” 

He doesn’t nod but agrees with it wholeheartedly. 

Clearly growing involved, Namjoon takes you in his private jet to see La Traviata in San Francisco. Jackson isn’t too happy about him leaving in the middle of this deal for date with a hooker. Namjoon holds back, telling him to be careful with his word. 

In a perfect red dress with a necklace worth a quarter of a million dollars, you feel like a princess. You are then moved to tears by the story of the prostitute who falls in love with a rich man. 

You break your "no kissing on the mouth" rule for him and then, you make love with Namjoon. After that, you two are constantly together. 

On dates. 

Kissing. 

Having sex. 

And in the aftermath of it all, when you’ve spent your last day with him, you tell Namjoon that you love him, but he does not respond. Your heart breaks for the first time but you knew he’d never love you back. 

You’re just a prostitute in a nice dress. 

Namjoon offers to put you up in an apartment so you don’t have to pay rent and so you can be off the streets. Hurt at his charity, you refuse, saying that this is not the "fairy tale" you dreamed of as a child, in which a knight on a white horse rescues you. 

Meeting with the tycoon whose shipbuilding company he is in the process of trying to obtain. Namjoon changes his mind. He doesn’t want to be someone who destroys things, but someone who builds things, makes them better. His time with you has shown him a different way of looking at life, and he suggests working together to save the company rather than tearing it apart and selling off the pieces. 

Jackson is furious at losing so much money, goes to the hotel to confront Namjoon but finds only you. Blaming you for the change in Namjoon, he attempts to rape you. Namjoon arrives just in time, punches him and throws Jackson out of the room.

You cower behind the couch, a bruise on your face from where Jackson had hit you. He stares at your doe eyed expression in apology, feeling his cold dead heart race. 

With his business in L.A. complete, Namjoon asks you to stay one more night with him -- because you want to, not because he's paying you. 

You refuse. 

Then you part ways.

You never accept his payment, choosing to leave the money behind. Namjoon holds the $5,000 in his hands feeling lost and empty. 

Taking the clothes however, is a completely different story. Sweeping the streets clean of your hooker friends, you give them an outfit each and encourage them to all apply for jobs. They all give you money for the clothes -enough to sustain yourself for a couple of months. 

After each of your friends receive interviews, you teach them proper social etiquette and how to look strong in front of employers. 

“How do we turn our experiences into strengths,” one woman asks. 

You grin. “You got any talents?” 

“I guess, I can blow two guys at the same time and watch the clock in the corner of my eye? Does that count?” 

Crossing your arms over your chest and then your legs, you sit up straight. “Honey, you can multitask well and you work in a timely fashion. Next?” 

“I strictly only have threesomes? There’s more money.” 

Leaning forward, you laugh. “Easy, you’re a team player. You work well in a team to ensure a good financial gain to the company and you work only for a positive result.” 

The girls sink into the chairs, laughing wildly at the prospect of this actually working. You open up a business to get people off the street and into jobs, and at first it works and then, it really works. Money starts pouring in from donations and familiar investors but it’s not enough to keep a roof over your head. The prospect of becoming homeless scares you more than you’d like to admit. 

Across town, Namjoon re-thinks his life as heads to the aiport back to New York and has the hotel chauffeur detour to your apartment building, where he leaps from out the white limo's sun roof and "rescues you", an urban visual metaphor for the knight on a white horse of her dreams. 

So what happens after he climbed up the tower and rescues her?  She rescues him right back.

[clown-bait]

Apologies (Monster Roommate AU)

So to continue my holiday mini fics for the AU heres the next one in the series! Pennywise gets in trouble and gets the silent treatment. He doesn't handle it well. On a side note I had a BLAST writing this especially the second part and Leech’s temper tantrum at work. I’ve been wanting to show her at the bar for some time now and get more of the Sawyer brothers in there! Also Penny making missing posters with sad faces drawn all over them in an attempt to be an adorable little shit. 

Pennywise Sucks at Apologies

“Who ever is playing as “trashpire” is losing badly.” Penny plopped on the couch between Freddy and Leech.

“Wow thanks for the encouragement.” Leech grumbled as Freddy stabbed her character again. The demon was himself in the game of course, playing it somehow on the stupid Nintendo power glove. Leech put the controller down and packed another bowl in a huff.

“Aww giving up so soon bloodsucker?”

“You know its not fair when you use demon magic to win. Hey Penny sweetie, help me out here do that thing you do with the tv.” she picked the controller up after taking a hit from the colorful pipe.

Pennywise growled “I am a timeless ancient evil not something you can use to cheat on video games.”

“It's not cheating if Freddy’s cheating too.”

Penny playfully covered her face with his hand causing Leech to lose once again. The clown cackled at her protest continuing to mess with her vision. Leech finally got fed up and bit down on his thumb. Pennywise growled with mock anger and the vampire released him peppering little kisses on the wound.

“Ugh can you guys take a break today? I don't want to deal with Vorhees trying to break in” Freddy scooted over as far away from the couple as possible.

“Is he at it again? Man I bet that asshole was way better when he didn't talk” Leech remembered the first time she had run into Jason and how obnoxious he was.

“Nah, He was still an asshole” Freddy grumbled taking a hit from the pipe.

“Speaking of silent giant assholes, you know who absolutely freaks me out?”

“Me?” Penny grinned proudly

“Haha you wish. You're a giant asshole for sure but you aint quiet love. No its Michael Myers, I ran into him in the store the other night and the guy just stood there silently in the middle of the aisle like he was trying to decide he wanted to stab me in the throat or not.”

Penny's face twisted into that of pure offense. HOW DARE she think someone else was scarier than HIM. HIM the eater of worlds! The master of FEAR ITSELF. Pennywise felt his eye twitch and drift apart.

“Mikey is a total jerk man, he has this high and mighty attitude. Just because you don't say anything doesn't make you the scarier monster.” Freddy let out a puff of smoke while handing the pipe to the vampire who took a long hit.

“Pfft you're the opposite end of the spectrum Fred, maybe take a page out of Myers book sometime and shut up” she passed the pipe back across Penny’s lap, who was eerily still, to the dream demon.

“Nonsense, the ladies love a chatty killer! Right clown?…Clown?…Earth to Jingles?”

Penny's eyes had rolled completely to opposite sides of his face.

“You ok Pen?” Leech waved a hand in front of his face. The clown snapped to life with a roar and his jaws extended like a goblin shark biting onto her wrist. “OW HEY WHAT THE HELL” she slapped him on the back of the head. Pennywise let go, quickly grabbing her shoulders and sniffing frantically. “Were you scared???” he asked still sniffing her “NO I'm fucking pissed off what the shit Penny!?”

“Y-you weren't scared? Not even a little?” wait was he worried?

“Looks like you're losing your edge clown! Mikey is the one who scares your girl now!” Freddy laughed and Leech threw a dusty old pillow at him.

“Kruger!!” she hissed.

Penny got up and made his way towards the well his face expressionless.

“Oooooh boy I can already tell this is going to become a thing with him.”

“Shouldn’t have said that Ol’ Mikey is the one who really gets the adrenaline pumping then!”

“Ugh don't say it like that. I don't even think he's that attractive. He wears a William Shatner mask for fucks sake”

“I'm going to tell him you said that next time I see him!”

“DONT”

“Awwww whats the matter? S-s-s-scared Mike’s gonna come get ya?!” Freddy cackled

“I will pay you not to Fred, I'm dead serious”

“Now I know what to put in your nightmares tonight!”

“You wouldn’t”

“The clown’s off having an existential crisis you're fair game bloodsucker!”

“Are you just being a sore loser because I beat you in guitar hero? I won fair and square its not my fault you don't know all the songs.”

Freddy got up and tipped his hat to her “See you in your dreams scaredy cat”

like an evil Santa he was gone.

Leech sat alone in her room trying her hardest not to fall asleep knowing that Freddy would continue to mess with her more. She suddenly wished she could lucid dream so she could just punch him in the face next time he popped up. The vampire rolled over onto her back. “Maybe if I ate something?” she thought aloud but that would require getting up and going out. She settled on reading pulling out a book she had got from the library on Derry’s history. She liked knowing about Penny’s past exploits since he was always so cryptic with her when she asked. Plus morbid stuff was interesting.

She was on a bit about an Easter explosion, over 100 children dead at the old iron works. She chuckled to herself “Man this must have been like Christmas come early for him” she kept reading recognizing his circus cart in one picture and she started wondering to herself how the hell did Penny get that down into the sewer. Her light began to flicker and Leech groaned knowing she’d have to get up and change the bulb. Stupid old house with its stupid shotty wiring. The light completely fizzed out without warning “Just my luck” she snarled grabbing a flashlight. When she turned it on she noticed something at the foot of her bed. No, someone. She brought the light up and saw the bloody stain on the figures shirt then finally to its face. It was a child. A dead one. The child spoke softly “Hello Leech wont you come play with us!” her face slowly began to decay. Leech sat back and continued to watch the show. The ghost girl floated up and landed so she was standing on Leech’s stomach. It crouched down so it was in her face.

“Come play with us!!” It roared.

“Spooky, Like the decay it’s a nice touch.”

The ghost frowned and then opened its jaws showing millions of teeth. Its tongue snaked out holding a small silver crucifix. Leech hissed at it in anger and the charm melted, sliver splashing onto her chest causing smoke to rise from her skin. She screamed in pain and the ghost realizing it messed up began frantically trying to wipe it off her. Leech’s skin began to burn and suddenly her tank top had caught fire from the heat. The ghost became the clown, who tore the burning fabric off of his mate stomping out the flames with his large boots. Penny noticing her skin was lighting on fire now, scooped her up and ran to the bathroom tossing her in the shower and turning it on.

She was soaked her favorite sleeping shirt was ruined and there was awkward burns on her boobs. Pennywise was in DEEP trouble.

“Penny…… why the FUCK did you use an actual silver crucifix to try to scare me?!”

“I-I..um did it work?”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK DO I LOOK SCARED TO YOU?”

“Maybe the fire did alit-”

“SHUT UP. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT UP TO HER WITH YOU TONIGHT! get me a FUCKING towel and get the FUCK out” she screamed she had never gotten this mad at him before.

“You cant kick me out I own this house.”

“OUT”

The clown vanished quickly reappearing on the couch down stairs. Where he placed his giant gloved hands over his face. She’ll be back she always calls for him to come back. Any minute now….

————

A few hours had passed and Penny was messing with Freddy and Leech’s video game trying to scare kids up way too late through their screens. She hadn't called for him back.

“Someone’s been banished to the cooouuucchh!” Chucky sang from the doorway.

“I swear if you say any more words doll…”

“Heard the screaming awhile ago what did you do? It has to be good to get kicked out of the bedroom”

The clown sighed. “I tried to scare her and I accidentally set her on fire.”

“Holy shit!” Chucky cackled “thats amazing! I cant believe you fucked up that bad Jingles!”

“Wonderful.” Penny grumbled

“Don’t sweat it clown, she’ll be begging for you back in no time. You just have to be real nice for a few days, which I know is hard for you…”

“Whats the use, my mate hates me and I'm not scary anymore.” the clown moped his head sinking low.

“Pfft yeah Kruger told me she had a freaky run in with Meyers. Whats the matter losing your edge?”

“I’m not talking about this.”

“Cheer up Jingles like I said she’ll be begging for you back eventually. Bring her some gifts or somethin. Fancy chocolate chicks like that.”

“She cant eat chocolate she’s a vampire.”

“Uuuhh one of those silver charm bracelets? I stole Tiff one last week when I was in trouble for leaving that stiff on the new rug.”

“Just found out silver lights her on- wait….that was you?”

“I cleaned it up!”

“Barely.” the clown crossed his arms and rolled over on the couch.

“Look that girls crazy about you, she’ll be hollering your name again soon Jingles. I'm telling ya makeup sex is the best!”

Penny rubbed his temples. He was not in the mood to talk about this.

“Did you at least say you were sorry?”

“No. When have I ever had to say that. I don't grovel at her feet and beg like a dog.”

“HAHAHAHA oh man your funeral buddy.”

Pennywise rolled onto his back and dramatically sunk into a crack in the couch. The last thing he heard was the doll shouting some useless romantic advice about dishes before he was back in his nest in the sewer.

————

It had been a full morning with no Pennywise breathing down Leech’s neck. Usually he’d play his own little games with her. Trying to distract her while she poured her breakfast in her favorite mug, leaving dirty suggestive things on her morning crosswords. His favorite game was trying to convince her not to go to work. He was very persuasive. This morning though the clown was completely absent, it was almost nice actually to finally have some space. Leech was able to go through her whole morning routine with no interruptions. It was going to be such a relaxing day. The vampire was thankful she had taken the day shift it was always slower and easier she was able to mingle with the customers more and pick better tasting victims for later. She’d forgive Penny tomorrow. Leech was going to enjoy her day off from him.

Today two young men walked into the bar they looked rugged and well built the type that would spend a lot of time outdoors. Chop-Top elbowed the newest waitress when he caught Leech staring at the lean body of one of the guys, the cannibal whispered something to the new girl and laughed. Penny would be pissed if he saw her right now and Leech smiled at the thought spinning a glass a bit just to show off. Oh he would be seething mad, but he deserves it after the way he'd been acting. The men left her a nice tip and the one she’d been eyeing gave her a grin as he left. He'd make a nice snack later. Chop-Top leaned against the bar “You're going to be in so much trouble” he laughed knowing how jealous his coworkers lover tended to get.

“I'm allowed to look, besides he deserves a kick in the ass. Penny’s been a huge jerk lately.”

Chop-Top scratched the metal plate under his 60s era wig as Leatherface came out of the kitchen “Hey big guy it’s a slow day mind if I take off early? We got plenty of burgers stored up from that last big weekend” Leech asked. Leatherface nodded and patted the vampires head Leech grinned “Thanks boss!” the giant leaned down and placed a hand on her shoulder looking at where the two men sat in concern “Don't worry Bubba, Pen and I are solid I'm just messing with him for setting me on fire last night”

“What happened unfortunate juggling accident?” Leatherface’s eccentric brother twirled on a bar stool with laughter and the pretty new girl came over to the bar. She was one of the local werewolves and the only one Leech tolerated…..Tolerated is a strong word it was more she was contractually obligated to not start any more fights. “You got set on fire?”

“Yes Sandy I got set on fire. You didn't notice the burns on my cleavage?” Leech rolled her eyes. this bitch talks too much.

“What cleavage?” Chop-Top joked and Leech pushed him off the stool hard.

“My new boyfriend would never do that to me! He’s such a great guy!! Don't know why you put up with that kind of behavior that clown has”

“Gee Sandy! Maybe its because I actually love him and don't plan on dumping him in two weeks. You ever try that? I know its hard for you dogs to not hump the leg of everything you see” Leech muttered after turning away from the werewolf.

“What was that?” Sandy asked.

Leatherface and Chop-Top both began pointing frantically at the employee rules behind the bar. There was a new one scribbled in red marker at the bottom saying “NO MORE BLOOD-FEUDS” the vampire groaned.

“I mean um he’s an acquired taste. You get used to it.”

“I’ll say, must be so obnoxious with all that circus shit all the time. What a fucking weirdo…Oh and those bells and that shakey high pitched voice ugh”

“I. Like. The. Circus. Shit.” the nosferatu spat her fake smile beginning to crack. No one puts Penny down but her.

“it'd drive me crazy to date a guy who wore more make up than me.”

“HIS MAKEUP IS PERFECT AND HIS VOICE IS LIKE HONEY! Shut your whore mouth! I love my clown!!” the vampire roared claws scraping into the bar.

Leatherface practically threw the rule board at Leech. “She started it!”

“Your shifts over Leech, go home and no fighting” Chop-Top pushed the vampire out the door.

“FINE!” she got on her bike and rode off.

————-

It didn't help that everything reminded her of him. Leech wanted to head straight into the nearest storm drain after that incident and forgive him just so she could feel those long arms wrap around her. She was still mad at him though, and like a child he wouldn't learn his lesson unless she stuck to her guns and gave him the silent treatment. What made it hard was the clown’s presence seemed to be EVERYWHERE today. He was probably doing this on purpose so she’d forgive him faster.”That little shit.” Leech thought to herself when she saw a missing poster with her face on it. She pulled it off the wall and read it

Missing: you

24 years old

Last seen yelling at a sweet innocent clown

description: big ears, sharp teeth and bald. Cutest vampire you'll ever see!

If found please return to the nearest sewer opening or sad lonely clown. :o(

Leech rolled her eyes at the sad faced balloon crudely drawn in the corner. “You think you can win me over by being cute you need to try harder Penny” fuck he's making this difficult for her.

She folded the paper and put it in her bag. Leech tried her best to avoid every red balloon tied to almost all the street signs she came across. Somehow she ended up in the park and the vampire decided to sit in the shadiest area she could find to avoid dealing with her clown problem at home. Leech felt the familiar cramp of hunger begin to build, tearing at her insides till she could no longer ignore it. She decided to look around the crowd for someone who wouldn't be missed.

Her sensitive hearing picked up the sound of a couple local bullies shoving a kid against a tree off in the woods. This will work. The nosferatu crept into some bushes and waited for the boys to stop their tormenting. As she waited the smell of cotton candy and blood drifted into her nose. Oh great. She looked over and Pennywise was crouched in hunting mode diagonal from her. Of course he was here, that poor boy being pushed into the tree was terrified. “I’ll just take my food and go don't even talk to him…he’s probably after the kid anyway not the teens.” she thought to herself. The vampire moved closer and a twig snapped under her knee. “SHIT” she whispered then quickly covered her mouth, the poor nosferatu was still making all kinds of rookie mistakes. The teens let go of the boy who ran out of the woods and she saw the mess of orange hair snap in her direction. “Fantastic now were both mad at each other.” she rolled her eyes.

“W-whos there?” one of the boys asked. Leech sighed and shot a claw out from her bush to drag him back into it with horrifying speed while he screamed. The other boy jumped back shrieking and fell against the tree he had pinned his own victim to only a few moments before. Sickening crunching sounds could be heard from the bush the boy’s friend had just disappeared into. The surviving bully picked up a sharp branch in an attempt to save his friend and using it like a spear he stabbed into the bush Leech was feasting in. Something caught it before it made contact with her and the vampire froze turning to see Pennywise towering over the other boy. “Its rude to disturb a girl while she's enjoying her meal.” he snarled Leech had fallen back against her snack and stared up at him both in shock and relief to see Penny decided to help her out. The clown looked over at her and gave her a cocky smirk. If he thinks he's out of the dog house for saving my ass he's so wrong. Leech stood up and sarcastically smiled back at him. “What the fuck! What the fuck is that!” the bully screamed. The boys eyes were wide with tears of sheer terror from seeing his friends blood covering the vampire’s chin and the now six foot circus demon towering over him.

“Time to float kiddo” Pennywise lunged forward and delivered a perfect killing blow, dropping the body with a thud on the dirt. He turned to his vampire and gave a cocky grin. “SoooOOO….whats a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“Cute. You use that line on all the flesh eating women you meet?” Leech rolled her eyes.

“Just the pretty ones like yourself my dear….. you going to finish that?” he pointed at the body next to her.

“I’m not giving you my meal and I'm still not talking to you” Leech crossed her arms and turned her head away from Pennywise trying not to get stuck in his golden stare.

“You’re talking to me right now though!” the clown strolled over to her and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze with a single gloved finger.

“Yeah well…. only cause you saved my ass….so thanks…asshole.” Leech glared at him. Penny sensed her beginning to break.

“My my little firecracker, is that any way to treat your rescuer? I think I deserve more thanks than that” he pulled her closer to him so she could feel his hot breath on her cold lips.

“You’re not getting any. You’ve been a dick lately” Leech looked away from him trying her best to hide the creeping blush on her hollow cheeks

“Then why aren't you trying to get away?” he was inches away from her now. Shit

“I hate you” Leech snarled and closed her eyes “Mmmmm I hate you more” his soft lips pressed against hers. Stupid clown. The vampire ran a claw through his hair pulling him into her to deepen the kiss Pennywise purred with victory. Leech unceremoniously pushed him off her with a huff facing away from him to hide the fact she was about to start grinning like a school girl. Pennywise snickered.

“You know, you're lucky I didn't punish you for chasing off my initial meal with your stupid mistakes.”

“Not everyone can be as perfect as you, I'm still learning. Give me a break.”

“Aww you're right I am perfect!” he smirked at his on lame joke.

“You're a narcissist is what you are.” Leech grumbled.

“I thought you weren't talking to me.”

“You’re right I'm not…I’m… you just….fuck….you’re so fucking frustrating you know that?” pennywise snarled and pinned her against the tree.

“Likewise bloodsucker. You have no idea how much you torment me.”

“At least I don't light you on fire when my ego’s bruised”

“At least I have an ego. Pitiful little thing, if you spent half the time you spend moping around on practice you wouldn't need me to save you from these situations.”

“I don’t need you to come save me I can take care of myself” Leech snarled back.

“That boy nearly impaled you. If I hadn't shown up you'd be one step away from losing that pretty head of yours. You're lucky I like you so much.”

Leech shoved him back “Yeah but you didn’t do it for me did you! I know you too well. You did it because you thought I’d stop being mad at you.” she took a bold step forward. Too bold. “Selfish prick… you know perfectly well I would have been fine. Stop trying to scare me with that you “would have died” bullshit I'm not in the mood.”

The clown slammed her into a tree with a growl fully pissed off now.

“Stupid girl. Do I need to show you how much I care again?” Pennywise roared his claws splintering into the tree behind her. “Go ahead” she grinned  “but you still wont be man enough to ever say you're sorry to my face.” What a brat. She was completely right of course, but still her attitude was definitely in need of adjusting. He hated when she was right.

The clown placed a knee between her legs and grabbed her neck bringing her close to him again. Leech whimpered a bit when he licked her neck and chin with greed. He groped her body possessively touching her in any way that he wanted to and the vampire glared at him trying everything she could to hide the flush of ichor under the skin of her cheeks. He was being an ass but she loved it when he got worked up like this. Stupid clown. When he kissed her again Leech moaned into his mouth pulling his waist so his hips pressed against hers. Penny had the hem of her pants in his claws prepared to rip them off until he sniffed the air and paused more humans.

“Hello? Miss you ok?” a mans voice rang out in the woods. He couldn't see the clown or the bodies Penny had hidden them, but he left Leech. Lets see how she does without him there to save her now.

Leech's eyes widened oh shit it's the guy from the bar. Shit, shit, shit!!! Penny glanced over at her and sneered “Friend of your’s darling?”

“Hey! Its you! What’s a pretty little bartender doing way out here in these woods?”

Pennywise bared his fangs in jealousy. Oh she did know him. “Yeah what are you doing out here Leech” he turned to her with an evil grin

“Oh um nothing really”

“Just fucking my lover in the woods.” Pennywise mocked her. Leech wanted to die at this point.

“JUST GOING ON A HIKE” she yelled over the clown.

“You uh seem a bit roughed up you ok?” walked over to touch her arm and she pulled back.

“Fine! I'm fine! Tripped on a rock silly me! I must have weak knees!”

“Yeah clowns seem to make them shake like a leaf” Pennywise smirked enjoying his little test.

“Want me to take a look at it?” the man asked,

“I’ll..I’ll be ok” thats a lie, she was far from ok right now especially since Penny was now running a gloved hand down the small of her back and attempting to stuff said hand down the back of her pants.

“Well in that case forgive me if I'm being too forward but my friend and I are here for a couple days while we prep for a backpacking trip. I’d love to get your number so we could hang out sometime.”

This poor boy just signed his own death certificate. He was nice too, if Leech wasn't involved with Penny she might have even said yes. He’ll make a nice meal though, she didn't get to finish her’s after all. Pennywise walked behind the man and bared his fangs snapping his jaws near his head to show Leech what he planned on doing with him after she was gone. She gave the clown a look that said Not today Pennywise. “I’m actually already seeing someone-“ she paused an evil thought entering her mind and the vampire grinned at the clown wickedly “sorta… we’re having a big fight right now really.” Penny’s playful expression dropped. She wouldn't dare.

“Oh thats a shame you're more than welcome to talk about it, I'm Brad by the way”

“Lee-Lucy! I’m Lucy”

“You're mine is what you are.” Penny walked over to her and ran his fingers roughy along his mark on her neck. Leech swatted him away.

“So tell me dear Lucy, why would this guy of your’s ever want to make you upset? If you were my girl I would treat you like a princess”

Leech shot Penny another look that said “See? A princess!” Pennywise glared at her more.

“Well, it started as a practical joke gone wrong. Now its more about how he's being a selfish  asshole”

“Well you're very cute a girl like you shouldn't have to put up with that”

“You think I'm attractive?” Leech laughed in surprise. Pennywise was fuming. “Huh I rarely ever hear that these days.” Leech looked directly into the clowns eyes.

“Absolutely, I have a thing for girls like yourself.” he chuckled and took a step closer to her. Wrong move buddy.

“Well um thanks…..don't think you'd like the real me though”

“What are you getting at Leech” Penny snarled.

Brad took her hand and Leech saw the clown twitch. “Nonsense. That guy of your’s doesn't know how lucky he is to have you.” this poor sweet boy is a walking corpse at this point. Brad leaned in while stared at Leech’s lips as if asking to kiss her.

“Dont even think about it” Pennywise’s eyes were blood red.

“Well thank you for the kind words” Leech turned away. Maybe she took this too far. She saw Penny struggling to hold his clown form together his face beginning to split. The human grabbed her chin to turn her face back to him and she glared. Ok buddy you've overstayed your welcome.  Leech looked over to Penny and winked the clown narrowed his eyes. Suddenly Brad began to kiss her and the vampire snarled with rage, she bit clear through his lip sucking in the sweet blood. Brad screamed and staggered back. Leech laughed removing her wig to free her large bat like ears, she let her front fangs extend and brought her long red tongue out to lick up the blood on her chin. Pennywise hid the small half smile that threatened to break through his scowl. He did love to watch her work after all. Brad screamed in terror and disgust “Whats the matter baby? Thought you said I was beautiful.” she laughed as Pennywise made him self visible behind her the clown was still twitching a bit. “Hiya Brad!”

“What the fuck is that! What the fuck are you?”

“This is that boyfriend I was talking about dear. He’s not very happy about what you did. Neither am I.”

“That thing? You're dating that thing?”

Pennywise grunted.

“He's a clown not a thing Brad, and yes I love him… even when he's being a jerk” she elbowed Penny hard and he elbowed her back with a huff.

“You're still not letting that go are you?” the clown side eyed her.

“No Penny I’m not, you can either swallow your pride and apologize or let me eat this guy and leave”

“Wait eat me?!”

Pennywise growled at his vampire “Don't interrupt Brad. And I have nothing to be sorry for, you're the one letting some filthy human touch you.”

“For the record I didn't want the kiss that was our friend taking it a bit too far. But you deserve it anyway after the way you’ve been acting. Biting me, lighting me on fire, all because I said someone else scared me one time? You have some serious jealousy issues.”

“Wow I’ll say”

“Shut up Brad!” Leech hissed “You could at least start with an apology Pen, but instead you just act like what you did was perfectly justified. PLUS at least the human can give me a compliment every now and then you selfish prick!”

Penny turned to growl at her more but the frantic shuffling of fleeing feet drew his attention away. He snarled at the direction of the running human and turned to Leech “I’ll be back for you.”

“Go ahead I'm still not going to talk to you until you say you're sorry though!” The nosferatu yelled.

The clown glared and vanished. When she was finally alone Leech let out a roar in frustration. Fucking egotistical inter-dimensional clown. She cried by herself for a bit the weather becoming dark and stormy as a result. The vampire left her tears in the dirt and started to head home unaware of her clown watching her silently from the shadows. He hated seeing her upset and he knew was the one who caused it. He held up Brads detached head “Ok maybe you're both right I’ve been a bit of a “jerk” lately.” he made the head nod in agreement. “Shall I try getting her back then, my way?” the head nodded no. “You would say that Brad….you stole your taste and look where that got you hmm? I'm not giving in to her little apology game.” he turned the head to look at him “Yes I know I miss her terribly. Is that what you want to hear? You're dead I don't have to listen to you” Penny tossed the head behind him and ended his macabre one sided puppet show. The clown sunk into the shadows to plan.

--------------------------------------------

I headcannon Penny talking to his victims when he’s bored. Just having weird one sided convos with corpses. Also fun fact one of the horror movies that messed me up when I was a youth was Halloween. It didn't fuck me up as bad as Nightmare on Elm ST did but it fucked me up pretty good. Ironically Nightmare became one of my all time favorites but Halloween never really caught on for me. Just not a big fan of the silent killers beyond Leatherface I guess. Next chapter is gonna get FUN.

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 1 - “It's not my fault our team chose the same song as the other team” - Cas

Let the games begin..............................

we out here. i'm on the cute yellow tribe. the only person on my tribe rn is Nicole and I already like her. i hope there's an idol hidden under joe del campo's cowboy hat

* A couple seconds later*

FKDSAHKDJFS LMAOOOO MY GIRLFRIEND ASHLEY ON THE OTHER TRIBE AND SHE LOOKIN LIKE A KARDASHIAN IN HER VID

Very excited for this to start! Tribe seems nice so far get a good vibe from eve and Ashley for sure. Just gotta feel everyone out a lil more and see how this first challenge goes

OKAY sooo I'll keep this first one brief. My tribe is pretty cool. I love Jared, I'm a little bit worried though because 1) he knows I'm a snake and will be scared of me and 2) he'll prob be able to know I'm friends with Ashley, but otherwise, he's my number 1 on this tribe and my favorite person in the cast other than ash. Like I'm so blessed to be with him and I don't think he'd turn on me yet since we'll be loyal. This Nicole girl seeemd cool in her vid then never messaged me back. Dylan seems nice but I think he might have been in bermuda or somethin LOL i've def played with him before and have no clue from what.... Sammy is cool, know him from before. And then uhhh that weird kid who had a three second vid, I hope he's out first. Ashley is on the red tribe I think? I LOVE HER she's literally my best ORG friend and she hasn't played in forever. Hope we get to a swap or merge without her doing something dumb first akhfdj. Patrick seems familiar I know he's old school and won HOS so that's cool. Eve seems cool never played with her but is that the same eve that does the challenge minis bc if so she knows im gonna pop off. Keaton good. Isaac good lol although I'm scared he'll come after me bc one time in his confessionals for a game we were in (i think indonesia?) eh talked about how big of a threat I was oops. maybe ashley will get him out for me LOL. and that austin guy seems cute, second game only awww. Black tribe has chloe YAYAYAY love her and excited to play with her. I think I'm on okay terms with Nick again, at least I really hope so lol bc bbclue was a mess but we kind of made up in ihos.... Vi/Cas I don't rlly know. payton seems like rhone but with a little more hair and less elderly wisdom. aidan's vid was weird but glad he got to the point I'm looking forward to this :) but I hope my tribe gets more active soon.

Okay so- Howdy! This is your cowboy speaking. I am going to go over my general strategy for the game and what I have done so far. I want to play a very physically/socially-centered meathead kind of game- a James Clement if you will. I want to try and win every challenge that I participate in and if we lose, I want to have 1 alliance with the strongest players that I will be 100% unwaveringly loyal to. Pretty basic stuff. So my alliance is with Owen and Sammy, which oddly enough- the last 2 Big Brother games I played, they were the people who got me out, respectively. Owen/Dana/Quill in BOTS and Sammy in Legacy3. So it's a risky group but this is the strategy that I outlined for myself so I'm gonna stick to it. They will be my F3 and I will literally ride with them until the wheels fall off. Until the hooves fall off, in western speak. I have no clue if they will be loyal to the end or try to target me on some point, but I have to try to keep them from eating the apple, because I'm not going to flip as my one-dimensional gameplan will not allow that! I confirmed with both of them that this is a trio they are good with, and the Pika-Dudes were born. I think it would be pretty rewarding for me if I could actually get them to stick together and make it to the end. But they could have other alliances on this tribe and vote me out this round for all I know, but so far my perspective is that they seem loyal Lastly, I suggested that we do the song "Before He Cheats" for the challenge, and that's the first time a tribe has ever taken my suggestion for the song, so I'm happy with that. I'll check back in if we lose the comp :)

okay so first confessional...honestly I am super excited to play with some of the people in this game. But I am just gonna talk about the challenge right now, umm so it's a music video which means.....hosts hate me...because I am always the one having to edit:,( okay so everyone got their videos to me finally except Nicole sent one vertically after I clearly said "@all plz film horizontally" so I just said bippity boppity bye. She seems sweet though and I don't want her to go anywhere soon. Anyways, Jared approached me with the idea of an alliance with me, him, and Owen which I'm totally fine with but I don't think I want to work with Jared like long game because idk if I can trust him to be like loyal to me. He is one of my fav people I just know it's a game. However I think if we go to tribal I probably would vote either Nicole or Xander. Not much confess right now except I am on a tribe with casper and his friends bc everyone forgot how to talk. alright that's it for nowwww.

#FuckMichael

What the fuck is Terlingua on someone better pray for my dude Aidan

VL: Oops

Omg yay!!!! We are safe for first tribal which I love. I'm starting to form pretty good bonds with issac,eve,and ashley so hopefully I can get it to where we all link up together for some kind of alliance.

Well so far it seems that Aidan, Chloe, Nick and I are in same mind set of voting off Payton. We shall see if it actually goes through. It’s really sad Bc the judges are all biased so now we have to vote someone out. Editing isn’t easy at all DX. I’m so sorry Payton if you’re do get voted out. You should move to the us to survive a bit longer ;-;

So my back’s been killing me all day. I thought it was from sleeping funny but clearly its from carrying this damn tribe.

This weekend was so flipping busy. I'm trying to get caught up at work before vacation and Matthew is here. I don't feel like I've gotten to bond with my tribe much. I'm glad to see Dylan A. We've not really gotten to play together much because he always gets voted out early in games we play but I don't think he will come for me and he's a bigger target than I. I like my tribe a lot. Jared is really funny and Sammy kicked butt in the challenge. I've talked to Owen a tad. I'm glad we didn't lose because I deserved to go home. I didn't get back from Erica's bday thing until 4 and then it wouldn't let me use the song I bought some it is copyrighted so I only had 30 sec then I couldn't get it to film horizontal. I'm a big ol mess. Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaw! 😂

Whew okay so I don't know anyone on my tribe (kinda) which is good but also a bit scary since its just 6 of us. Overall, I feel like everyone's a bit quiet and not too talkative. That being said, they might be talking a bunch in PMs. Right now, I am trying to stay under the radar and just be friendly with everyone. I really like Austin, Eve and Patrick right now. Keaton and Isaac are nice too but I dont really talk to them as much. If we would have lost this first immunity challenge I would have definitely wanted to vote for one of them. No official alliances yet but its still early so I think its okay. THANK FUCKING GOD WE WON. Okay well, we got 2nd but thats a win in my eyes. I just really hope I make it to jury and I will be happy so not being first boot is GREAT. Im trying to get this damn idol but I cant catch a fucking break and my ass keeps getting zapped... I dont think anyone has gotten the idol yet so I hope i get lucky and somehow get to it first. Here is how I see everyone as of right now: Austin: Probably my fave right now and hoping I can get into a f2 with him. He's funny and sweet and I feel like we get along and its pretty easy to talk to him. Eve: Eve is iconic! Want to work with her but I feel like she is really social so she might be a threat later on. Pat: Same as Eve, even though I just met him, I actually have known about him before since he is friends with some of my friends. I know he does good in games so he is someone I would like to see leave a bit sooner since I think he will be hard to get rid of later. But hes amazing and his video for the music video was ICONIC. I can see him and I becoming friends for sure. Keaton: Not much to say, I do know keaton from playing a game with him in the past but he was voted out first I think and then I hosted him in HOS but i wasnt super active in that one :) Anyway, I feel like we dont have much to talk about so I need to make more of an effort with him. I really wouldnt care to see him go tbh but who knows, this can definitely change if we start talking more. Isaac: omg okay so night one I go into everyones PMs to say hi and i notice that I already had messages with him which I found super weird because I didnt know who he was but I guess we kind of got into it like 3 years ago??? I told him I didnt remember this but i do. He was basically an asshole to me for no fucking reason. But this was 3 years ago so i really dont care so I hope he doesnt try to target me over it. He seems nice I guess but I havnt really talked to him much. In his defense he has been sick apparently but if we would have gone into this first TC I would have wanted to see him voted out first for sure.

Confessional 1: So right off the bat I talk a lot to everyone but Payton but my main issue is he’s probably not going so I’m gonna need to vote out someone I genuinely like right away. I think I’m decently connected and unless these guys are pulling off the best blindside ever I think I might possibly be semi safe??? Who knows though there’s a lot left of game to play this round so let’s let’s see who the votes will land on. I’m kinda trying to indirectly get my way but it’s like just not working out lol.

Its been a fun couple of days, im talking to my tribe and just feeling them out. Im very happy I don't have a history with any of them so I can just relax and start a clean state. Im a big fan of Jared and Sammy, but honestly nicole can go. She annoys me more than Jess's love of alcohol. I'm hoping to just chill and slide my way to merge where from there actually make moves and make my way to final 5 where we all know im gonna be voted out.

Idk what the fuck is going on lmao. I think I’m getting voted out because I haven’t talked to anyone but I’m trying to push the vote in cas instead but it might be too late because I just started talking to everyone cause I’ve been working too much.

https://youtu.be/bMY6mumIAQ0

Am I disappointed with my tribe? No. Am I disappointed with the outcome? Yes. I'm not a fan of these subjective challenges because the criteria literally changes everytime and all the judges (who are usually unqualified, uneducated and underemployed) seem to like to harp in on the most random shit like- I can't. And the fact that I, someone who never edited a fucking video before, had to do that shit just shows how useless my tribe is overall. Either useless or lazy but either way... I'm predicting a Matsing performance from this tribe. Why the fuck did I get placed here? So far people are fine but I don't /love/ anyone. Maybe I could put in more effort but like Chloe/Nick/Vi all seem fine and fun but like nobody I'm too connected with yet. I'm sure it'll come. Chloe and I seem to have the most similar personality but something tells me she's like connected idk. I don't see her going far with me. I see Nick/Vi being loyal though. Payton and Cas are like fine I guess but afaik they're the ones on the chopping block because of minimal socialization. I will be voting for Cas but honestly I don't care who goes home as long as it isn't me. I just want a tribe that isn't awful.

I like my tribe ok I guess. They’re all a girl or a gay except Keaton so that’s a plus. Despite my lack of participation in the first challenge due to my meningitis I’ve been assured that I should be safe on this tribe and I’ve been offered an alliance so we’ll see where that goes. I’m looking forward to beat sent home by Jared’s homophobic ass though. It’ll be fun

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-confess-1/s-HFs1s https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-2/s-nVSd2 https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-3/s-65KCP https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-4/s-kLYio https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-6/s-r6uNi

So like, love my tribe so far, I think Issac, myself Ashley and Austin are going to become a possible / close alliance, I also LOVE LOVE LOVE pat! What a fucking legend. Rly wanna try to work w him!! Idk dont wanna lose bc that means someone has to go :(

Dont sue me I'm dumb Okay this tribe is an interesting bunch, Ashley is great but scary, eve knows wtf is up, Pat and I are playing a game together rn, Issac... And Austin knows about me! Luckily we are safe but I think I can traverse this group without TOO much issue.

[jerrysmithsexy12-blog]

Jerry :( I'm sad, something really depressing happened earlier and I need your help cheering me up.

ok please enjoy this. :)

JERRY X READER FANFIC

——

Your name is (Your First Name) Bungalow Bill… and your the sexiest mother fucker on this street. every day your just so sexy that you have to cover all your mirrors. your orbs is (your eyecolor) and your strands are (your haircolor)

One day youre just taking a swim in the lake downtown. Just swimming all around in there with your pecs and swimming down and grabbing trouts in your bare hands. You hear a little something and you look around. You don’t see anything but then you keep looking… And. You see… someone drownding…

your legs go fast and your arms to fast and you swim to them. you pick their body up out of the water noting how buff it is… and ripped. Your blushing cause well you just think thats so handsome. you pull the man out of the water and hold him above. He coughs up water and blood and he looks at you with those big sexy marbles (eyes)

His wet brown lock curls and strands are on his head. “Hi thank you” he says handsomely, his voice like a speedrun of darksouls 2. “I’m Jerry… Jerry smith. thank you for rescuing me my prince…”

Your just so embarassed and you swuirm around. “Ahhh!!!! X_X 0mg Lol… anything for you bigboy… Glad i could help baby boy.” your so sweaty and your shoes are so small on your feet. You take off your shirt cause its so hot and reveal a tattoo of vegeta.

Jerry sees this and his eyes go blind of love. “Omg… I know you… Are you by any chance BungyChungyBill62 on ao3?!” he screams. “Yes” Uou say firmly back. “Oh my god i love your vegeta fanfics so much he is just so smexy am i right?!” he says. You smile proudly. “I agree.”

Papa J stands up and brushes off his shirt. “Well i should probably get going soon i have to go back home and cook dinner for my children” he holds up a fish that he caught in the water. “Those babys are gonna love this. Just kidding they hate all my meals and I’m alone”

You both chuckle and laugh at that funny joke!

You part ways and go back to your apartment where you sigh dreamily. Jerrey….. Oh he was so epic. but now that you have tasted perfection, what does life matter? you sit on your couch and play super monkey ball until you pass out at 6 am.

—–

The Next Morning

you wake up and take out your laptop and look at it. you have 3 new private messages. one is a continuation of your teen titans go roleplay thread. one is from your boss telling you that youre fired. and one… is from Jerry

“Hi (your name). Do you want to come camping with me this weekend, we have 6 pairs of hiking boots and there is only 5 of us in my family. I need to repay you for saving my life. Please respond. Love Jerry”

you fcking type “Yes” into the keyboard so good and you hit send. You are so excited you go to Walmart and you buy fishing line and bug spray and a whole canoe and you go home and knit yourself a sweater and it says “I LOVE JERRY” on it and you wear it.

-/——-

the next day

you hear honcking of a car outside and you go out there and see Jerry waving from his car. you take your suitcase and you go out there so fast and you see him. “Hi (name)? my family is so happy to see you are coming” he says. “guys this is the man who saved my life. ”

They are all playig magikarp jump and they dont say hi or look at you

“Haha well you know how it is” he says sexily. Everything about him is so tender and strong. “Hop in the trunk sorry we have no other room” he says and he gets out of the car and helps you into the trunk. You lay down in there and he kisses your forehead and closes it down and you just play your 3ds in there for a few hours

On the way there they stop and you get out cause you are all going in to get food on the way from McDonald’s. you step out and stretch and Jerry and you all go in.

You decide to talk to his family. “hi are you jerrys wife?” you say to Beth.“ unfortunately LOL” she says. Your so mad and angry. Beth goes to the counter. “uhhh can i get a. Fucking large Coke and 3 tomattos and a cookie and a salad and crotons and just a little Oreo mcflurry yes that will be all” she says. When she isnt looking you take her Coke and you put 10 salt packets into it.

Next you talk to morty he is just sitting at a table tying his shoes. “Hi morty jerrys son? I’ve heard so much about you” you say. Jerry didn’t tell you anything about him but also I forgot you have mind reading powers and you just know. morty looks up at you and he says “yeah” and he takes off his shoelaces and throws them in the garbage and takes off his shoes and throws them in the garbage cause he does not know how to tie them.

now youre talkig to summer. she is skyping with her boyfriend. “And so then they all shoot the ancient minister and his cape catches on fire and its fucking rob!!!!!Oh hold on one second. Hi what do you want” she says. “Oh hi summer just…… well just saying hi cause we are camping together. Are you having fun” “no” she says. “Ok well… maybe i have something for you…” you reach into your suitcase and just pull out a book. it says WARRIORS volume 1. you hand it to her. “try reading this bitch.” “Ok maybe i will bitch!!!!”

You walk up to their grabdpa Rick. “Hi Rick.” you say. “Dontever talk to me again” he says and he takes a real gun out of his pocket and shoots you

You wake up in the trunk of the car and walk back into McDonald’s. They are all eating their nuggets. “Ok there you are you died for a little bit there” they say. Jerry takes your hand. (your name) please come in the play place with me" he says. “Ok” you say and you both go in the McDonald’s play place and you have a fun time on the slide playing tag

When you are done you go back in the trunk and go to the campsite. When you get there you get out and breathe in the fresh air and 4 mosquitos. “Ahh… The fresh air” you say… “Boy do I love camping” you say and you take your suitcase and open it up and just chug one of those bottles of bug spray.

Jerry comes up to you. He has a headband that says JERRY RULES on it and he is wearing a shirt with Dwayne the rock Johnson smiling and giving a thumbs up. he is wearing very short shorts and sandles with socks and fingerless gloves and eyeshadow and blue lipstick. He winks at you. “Are you ready to have some fun” he says. You do a little dance. “Oppa gangnam style yes i am Jerry!” You are wearing skinny jeans, your I love Jerry sweater, a wolf hat because your fursona is a wolf, high heels, and a ripped vest with fake plastic crystals on the back.

You and jerry help set up the tent whole beth and summer just drink mountain dew and no one knows where rick and morty are. when you have finished setting up the tent there are 2 wasp nests in there and you are very scared. “Kyaaa…” you squeal and hide behind Jerry. “oh no need to fear (YOUR NAME HERE) they dont call me Jerry for a reason” he said. he Walks in there and just rips off the wasp nests in his bare hands and eats them and you see him grow slightly larger as he does. He turns to you and winks. You fall over and faint

When you wake up you are in the tent. it’s pretty dark out. you go outside and morty is on fire and everyone is roasting marshmallows on him. “oh hi (name) you sure sleep a lot and die a lot!” says Jerry and they all kek and laugh together. You blush in embarrassment. Jerry walks over to you handsomely. “Hi motherfucker do you want to take a walk and play pokemon go” he asks. You pull your phone out of your (your area of choice) “Yes” you say. both of you hold hands and start walking down the dark streets.

You can see illuminated from the fires that people are having. And also Jerry is giving off a faint glow. “Wow Jerry… you’re so beautiul tonight” you say bash fully. He smiles. “Yeah I know” he whispers. “Want to go somewhere cool?” he asks. “Yes” you say and dab.

Jerry and you go deep into the woods. “Jerry I csnt see anything” you say. “Oh one moment.” He grunts hard and focuses. Hundreds of fireflies come flying over to him and land on him and he is glowing now. You are amazed and crying. “Jerry I have to say something…” you say. “I’m in love with you!”

Jerry gasps and puts a hand up to his face and he swallows some fireflies accidentally. “Oh (your name)! I’m in love with you too!”

you both lean in… but then suddenly… a green portal opens behind you. some ricks come out and one of them pushes Jerry off a cliff and he dies. “Ahhhhhhh my beautiful Jerry!!! you… you mother fuckers will pay…” you say and flex hard. You start transforming into your beast form. Your hands get long and your ears get wolf ears. Your teeth become sharp and your eyes are glowing red and you are shacking. But before you can do anything a tranquilizer dart is shot into your back and you can’t see and you fall asleep.

————

You wake up in a brightly colored room well its white. It’s space jail and you are in it and to your right is a big buff space man and he looks so mean and weird. “where am i…?” you moan and you look around. Then a tv comes down and a Rick is on the tv.

“Ok so we thought you were gonna be Beth lol” he says. “we didnt excepet jerry to be kissing some stranger in the woods but i guess thats just fucken jerry bitch!!!!! Anyways we cant let you go now cause we found a rare mineral in your body. in 2 days we will harvest it and you will die sorry.” and he hangs up

You collapse to the floor and start crying and bawling. Why does this happen to you? “Jerry…” you cry out. “I want your hot and sweet tender loins to come and hold me…”

“Oh really?” a voice says. You recognise that voice… Its Jerry. But he is not here! Then the alien to the left of you takes off its mask and it is Jerry. “Hi motherfucker” he says.

“OH JERRY!!!!!” you scream and run into his arms. “oh Jerry I thought you were DEAD!!!” you whisper loudly. and kiss his little eyelashes. “Oh I was. but I respawned then.” he says. “and now I’m gonna get you out of here bich!!!!”

He raises a hand above him and starts screaming. The entire prison you are locked in is turned into minecraft blocks. he absorbs them all and quickly crafts a spaceship for you to fly in. You both get in. “Hey you can’t do that what are you doing!!!!” Some ricks scream… But your flying just so much. And you go.

—–////–

You arrive back at the campground in the morning. you both step out. “Jerry what the fuck” says everyone at once. you are so glad to be back on earth.

Then Jerry collapsed onto the ground. “J… Jerry…? what’s wrong…?” you ask and get on your knees to feel his forehead. He is getting sick.

“I can’t survive this long without… Nutrients…” he whimpers. “I need the earth and wood and grass to survive im running out of time” he says his eyes fading away.

You grab some dirt and wood chips and put them in his mouth. he eats them. “yum… thank you…” he says softly. “But. I’m afraid it’s too late…”

His body goes limp.

“Ah Jerry…! No!!!!!!!!!” you scream and you put your lips to jerrys and Kiss him. He starts to glow and you are kissing and he rises up and he is glowing and he suddenly had a Beaitiful white suit on and he is alive.

“Oh (your name) you brought me back…! To life…!” he says and he hugs you. “thank you the power of LOVE saved me” he says crying. Your also crying. “Oh Jerry I love you so much you are so ripped and handsome and muscular and stronf and desirable and underrated and underappreciated…” you both embrace and kiss.

“Honey” says jery to Beth. “I think… I need to see someone else.”

“ok” says Beth. “we have been divorced for 3 years Jerry.”

“haha lol!” you all have a good laugh and slap your knees and you and Jerry are glowing and kissing and you both combine and melt into each other and fuse into one big buff man.

——- EPILOGUE ——–

You now enjoy your life as a fusion perfectly happy and married and you go around giving warrior cat books to people to get them hooked on warriors.

summer also is a cat now cause she loves them so much she asked Rick to turn her into one.

Beth is single and she is loving her life she is strong and goes on dates and she brings horses to life.

Morty hasnt worn shoes in 7 years. That’s ok though he is working on it.

Rick is exactly the same but he wears eyeliner now.

—– THE END ——

[saxonspud]

Reckless Hearts - Chapter 3

This is now in the process of being uploaded to Archive of our own

hope you enjoy - here is the link

Chapter 3

Hosea, guided you, in the first instance to the stew pot. Where you both grabbed a bowl, and sat down at the table.  

"Now what brings you into our little fold?" he asked.

You took a mouth full of stew. It wasn't half bad.  

"I was counting cards in Blackwater, at the Poker table, then I lifted a guys watch." You pulled the watch out your pocket, and showed it to Hosea, rather proudly.

He chuckled. "I see you have good taste, Kara. I always say, there's no point in stealing something, you wouldn't want to keep for yourself. If you don't want it, then why would anyone else!"

You laughed, but only for a moment. Then you sighed, and carried on eating.

Hosea frowned,"you don't look particularly happy to be here,"

You shrugged, "It was either here, or you're illustrious leader, was gonna let them know, I was counting cards, and pickpocketing. I've never been caught before, so I thought this was the lesser of the two evils. I think I may have been wrong."

Hosea shrugged, "He's also my friend. He has his faults, I know. But he's not that bad. He must have figured, that you were on a downward slope. He...we, don't just ask anyone to join us."

You frowned, "I'm sorry, if I upset you, Hosea. I always like to speak my mind, even if it does get me into trouble."

Hosea leaned closer, "no need to apologise, my dear. Tell me, do you get into trouble very often."

You smirked, "frequently!"

Hosea laughed, "Then you'll fit in well."

Hosea looked around the camp, and started pointing people out.

"Those two, over there. That's John and Abigail. They have a little boy. John came to us, when he was about twelve."

You raised your eyebrows, "Twelve!" you exclaimed.

Hosea nodded, "Arthur was only fifteen. Like I said, only people who we think need help."

You glanced over to the tree line, where Javier was standing.

"What about the Mexican man, Javier." you asked, "and the man standing next to him?"

Hosea smiled, "Javier was on the run, from some high ranking Mexican official. Bill, he'd just left the army, and wasn't doing so well."

You nodded, and finished eating. It appeared that everyone was somehow, in need of something, when Dutch picked them up.

"So what about you, what's your story Kara?"

You shrugged, "nothing really. I never knew my father. My mother had a string of men, who just thought I was an annoyance. I left as soon as I could. Fell in with a gambler. He treated me good, and taught me all I know."

Hosea nodded, "not an unusual story, what happened to the gambler?"

You closed your eyes, and sighed. You still missed him. "He died," you stated, you voice cracking slightly.

Hosea touched your arm, "I'm sorry. Some losses are harder than others."

You looked at his face, he had a far away look in his eye.

You both sat in silence, for a few moments, until you were joined at the table, by a couple of young men. Slightly older than you.

You looked up, as did Hosea, who smiled.

"Now Kara, these two fine young men are Lenny and Sean. Lenny is a very clever young man, he reads a lot. Sean on the other hand, is an idiot."

Lenny chuckled. Sean, gave him a friendly punch, "Now thats a little unfair, Mr Matthews." he retorted. You noted his heavy Irish accent.  

Hosea smiled, "Perhaps." he looked at you, "I'll leave you three youngsters, to get acquainted, I'm and old man, and need my sleep."

You watched as Hosea left. You liked him, a lot more than Dutch, or Arthur.

Sean walked across to a wagon and came back with some bottles of beer.

"Here ya go, Miss." He grinned, as he passed you a bottle, and then he passed one to Lenny.

"Just call me Kara,"you grinned, "so what do you do for fun around here?" You asked.

Lenny smirked. "I can teach you how to play five finger fillet."

Sean scowled, "I ain't playing that, he's a demon and always wins. But Javier, might play his guitar soon, then we can all have a song."

You chuckled. "Well I've never played that game before, perhaps you can teach me. Maybe not tonight though, I have to go out with Arthur in the morning."

"You poor thing, having to spend the day with that miserable bastard," Sean scoffed.

Lenny smiled, he seemed a little on the shy side.

"Arthur's ok, when you get to know him," Lenny added.

You weren't entirely sure, you wanted to get to know him.

As you finished your beer, you saw Mr Pearson, coming towards the table.

"Kara, you're tent is ready. Its just next to Arthur's and Dutch's."

You smiled, "Thank you. I think I should go to bed."

Sean winked, "You must be honoured, the rest of us, have tents right over the other side."

You rolled your eyes, "more likely Sean, they want to keep an eye on me."

You stood up, and walked over to the tent. Both Arthur's and Dutch's tents were closed, which you were glad of.

You looked inside the tent, it looked more comfortable than you were used to. A small cot, a table and a chest at the bottom. Your spare clothes were still in your saddle bags. You decided to leave them there, just in case you decided to make a hasty retreat.

You closed the flap, at least you would have some privacy. You undid you gun-belt, and laid it on the table, laying your hat along side it. Slipping your boots off, you laid on the cot, staring at the ceiling of the tent.

You sighed, and closed your eyes. Sleep came sooner than you thought it would.

You woke, just as the sun was rising. You quickly got up, buckled your gun-belt, and slid into your boots. Sweeping your hair to one side, you jammed on your hat.

Opening the tent flap, you saw that both Arthur and Dutch's tents were still closed.

The only person up, appeared to be Abigail, who Hosea had pointed out, last night. You walked over. As you got closer, you could smell the coffee. You guessed that was one benefit. There were a pile of tin mugs, laying next to the fire, so you grabbed one and filled it with the black brew.

"Morning," you greeted the woman.

Abigail smiled, "Good mornin'. I don't think we were properly introduced. I'm Abigail, you must be Kara?"

You nodded. "Are you always the first up?" You asked.

"Not much choice when your a mother," she snorted.

"That's what my mama always used to say," you agreed. "My daddy left, before I was born," you added.

Abigail sighed, "John's next to useless, but at least he's here I suppose."

You looked across the camp, to see Arthur emerging from his tent.

"I better go," you huffed, as you threw the dregs from the cup, into the fire. You headed to your horse, and waited for Arthur.

Arthur headed towards where you were standing. He scratched his stubble, "you ready then?" He mumbled.

You nodded, as you unhitched your horse, and mounted up.

Arthur said very little, as he mounted his horse, and headed down the track.

You just followed, silently.  

He looked back, every so often, to make sure you will still following.

Once you reached the main road, you pushed your horse on a little so you were riding next to him.

"We're robbin' a wagon. we'll wait for it just up here." he grunted

You nodded. This was gonna be a laugh a minute. It was as much as he could do to say good morning.

As you pulled off the road, Arthur looked over at you, "Ever robbed a wagon, or a stage?" he grunted.

"No," you replied.

"Just do as I say, you'll be fine. You better cover your face." He mumbled.

You put a bandana across your face, you'd never done this before, and your heart started to race.

It didn't take long, before a wagon came along. It was filled with chests. There was only the driver.

The wagon, wasn't going very fast. Arthur called out to the driver, "you better stop friend, your being robbed."

The driver, a look of panic on his face, cracked the reins, and pushed the horses into a gallop. The wagon, lurched forward, and started to pickup speed.

Arthur's horse galloped along side. He jumped from his horse onto the front of the wagon. He grabbed the driver, and threw him out the side. Arthur yelled back at you, "deal with the driver."

He slowly pulled the horses to a stop.

You drew your gun, and pointed it at the driver.

"Please miss, don't shoot me, I have a family. I wont tell a soul." The man begged.

Arthur, jumped down off the wagon, and looked at you.

"Well don't just sit there, shoot him."

You stared at Arthur, aghast. "He's unarmed, he says he wont tell anyone. For Christ sakes, he's got a family."

Even though his face was covered, you could see Arthur scowl at you. He drew his gun, and shot the driver, in the head.

You stared at him, and pulled the bandana from your face. "What the fuck did you do that for, he wasn't gonna do anything!"

Arthur pulled the bandana, from his face. "If I tell you to shoot him, you shoot him."

You shook your head, "That's it, I knew this was a mistake. Fuck you, fuck Dutch, and fuck your gang. I ain't having anything to do with this, I'm outta here."

You turned your horse, away from Arthur.

You heard a click, the sound of a hammer, being pulled back.

"You move one more step, and I'll put a bullet in ya," Arthur growled.

You froze. The look on Arthur's face, told you he was deathly serious.

He walked towards you. "Get off the horse, nice n' easy." he snarled.

You slowly dismounted. Keeping your hands raised. You knew that Arthur would have no qualms about shooting you.

He held the gun to your temple, "I told Dutch you were gonna be trouble, seems like I was right."

"Well if you're gonna shoot me, just hurry up and get on with it," you hissed.

Arthur sneered, "I ain't gonna shoot you, I'll let Dutch decide what he wants to do. Now get on your knees."

You dropped to your knees. Arthur walked behind you, and grabbed you by the wrists. He quickly tied your wrists together, behind your back.

You felt him lift you up, as he slung you over his shoulder. He walked the short distance to the wagon, and chucked you in the back.

"Don't even think about moving," he snarled.

He tied both horses to the back of the wagon, then turned it around, and headed back towards camp.

It did cross your mind for a second, to jump off. But you knew you wouldn't get far. So you figured you better wait and see.

Maybe Dutch would finish the job from last night, and strangle you to death, or put a bullet in your head. Either way, you didn't think you'd see tomorrow morning.

When you got back to camp, Arthur hauled you out the back of the wagon, and with his gun in your back, marched you across camp.

No one attempted to intervene, until you reached Dutch's Tent.

Dutch looked at Arthur, pointing a gun in your back, and he noted that your hands were tied. He frowned.

"What's going on, son?" he asked, looking Arthur.

Arthur sneered, "I told you she was trouble."

Dutch looked at you, then back at Arthur. " You better bring her inside."

Arthur, gave you another shove, and pushed you inside the tent. Closing the flap behind him.

Dutch sat down on the cot.

"Exactly what happened, Arthur?" he asked. You were quite surprised, how calm he was, compared to the previous night.

"I jumped on the wagon, chucked the driver on the floor, told her to deal with him. She wouldn't shoot him, so I did. Then she threatened to leave." he snarled.

Dutch looked at you for the first time. "Is that what happened?" he asked.

You sighed, and nodded. You couldn't see the point in trying to explain, that you refused to be a cold blooded killer. As this was obviously what this gang was.

Dutch looked at Arthur. "Leave us," he commanded.

Arthur holstered his pistol, and nodded. He headed out the tent, closing the flap behind him.

Dutch stood up, and walked towards you.

"Turn around," he commanded.

You did as he said, you could feel your heart thumping in your chest. This was it. He was gonna kill you.

As you stood there, you heard a knife being pulled from a scabbard. You closed your eyes, waiting for the inevitable. You were surprised, when the knife, cut through the ropes that were binding your wrists.

You felt Dutch put his hands on your shoulders, and turn you around, so that you were facing him. He pointed to the chair, "Sit down, Kara."

You sat down, and looked at him. He was completely calm. You wondered what the hell was going on. He opened a little cabinet, by the side of the cot, and pulled out two glasses and a bottle of brandy.

After pouring two measures, he handed you a glass, and took one for himself, before sitting back down.

It wasn't until you took the glass from him, you realised how badly your hand was shaking. You quickly gulped down the brandy. You wondered if he had noticed, before he poured the brandy. He certainly seemed to notice a lot of things.

"Now, why don't you tell me what happened?" He asked, quietly.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. You looked down at the floor. "The driver, was unarmed. He begged me to spare him, he had a family." You looked up, and stared at Dutch. "Arthur shot him. So I told him I wanted no part of this, or people that do this sort of thing. I already told you I never kill for fun. That man didn't need to die, he was innocent, and no threat." you blurted.

Dutch sighed. Leaning forward, he grabbed your hands, and turned them over. "You should go and see Susan, see if she's got something for those rope burns."

You snatched your hands back. "I won't stay, not if you expect me to kill in cold blood."

Dutch smiled, "I would never ask you to do that." He hesitated, "I'll have a word with Arthur. It seems like that wasn't entirely necessary."

You frowned, "why aren't you angry with me, I didn't do what Arthur told me."

Dutch chuckled. "I don't expect people to always agree with me. In fact I would encourage people to have their own ideas." He stopped laughing, and narrowed his eyes, "If you disagree with me, come and see me. We can always discuss it. What I wont put up with is anyone, disagreeing with me, in front of everyone else. Its disrespectful. Last night you disrespected me, I wont have that. But that's in the past.

You stared at Dutch for a moment. "Respect can't just be demanded, it has to be earned," you stated.

Dutch's eyes locked on yours, and you wondered for a second, if you had pushed your luck, once again.

He stood up, and rested a hand on your shoulder. "Go and get some food, and get those wrists seen to. If you need to discuss anything, just come and find me."

You walked towards the door.

"I hope, we're clear, Kara." He added.

You looked over your shoulder, "Yes, we're clear." You replied, as you walked out the tent.

[izthecannibal]

We’re Not Too Far Gone (Part 3) - Carl Grimes Imagine

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

requests: could you do a multi chapter fic where like the reader is like 14?? and like negan takes her from hilltop to raise her as his own but she doesnt like him so she runs away and she gets captured by like dwight and thats the part where glenn and michonne are also captured aswell and they get to the lineup and thats where negan notices her and ricks group are “ shookt ” and when carl tries to hunt down negan and fails he ends up meeting reader during the tour and they form a great friendship??

and about the “ negans daughter” thing can you make the reader really close w jesus and he gets really upset when negan takes her away?? thanks aha

pairings: carl x reader

a/n: i’ve been reading the spider-man comics and i’m so in love with peter honestly why can’t guys my age be like him... also i’m not super happy with how this came out but you know the next part should be better 

word count: 1,383

tagged users: @deeindarkwonderland @namelesslosers 

“If you think any amount of pain you can inflict on me will make me wish I was dead, you don’t know me one damn bit,” you spat. Your body still shook, but no longer out of fear. You were fuming with rage, and your heart was beating abnormally quickly, making your jaw shudder. 

Negan feigned shock, placing his hand over his heart. “My, oh, my! I knew you were a sassy one, but jeez... You sure know how to mouth off.” Negan’s face reflected one thing, and one thing only: He was pissed. You were alike Negan in the sense that you didn’t back down. 

“I’m just getting started,” you replied, gritting your teeth out of habit. Negan chuckled at the ground, then stood back up. He wandered back towards Rick, glancing down at him like a king talking to a servant from a pedestal. He swung his bat from off his shoulder and aimed it at Rick’s chest. Rick stared blankly past Negan, seemingly distracted and unstable. 

“Give me your shit, or I will kill you.” Negan smiled devilishly, leaning back and laughing a little at the reaction he was receiving from Rick. “Today was career day.” Negan bobbed the bat up and down as he began to walk towards you again, pointing its end at each person he passed along the way. 

“We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. Little Miss (Y/N) over here has seen a lot of what I’ve created first-hand, but I can confirm that she has no idea in the damn world what I’m about to show all of you sorry bastards.” 

You flinched when you heard your name fall from his vulgar lips, hating the way it sounded as it rolled off his tongue. Thankfully, Negan turned away from you, and back to Rick. He repeated his actions, pointing the tip of the bat at him. “You work for me now.” 

Negan firmly planted his large boots in the ground and pointed the head of his bat at each of you individually. “You have shit, you give it to me. That’s your job. Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it--you most certainly will. 

Negan had seemingly forgotten you were there, for he was so focused on getting Rick’s attention and keeping it. “You ruled the roost. You,” Negan paused, sighing through his teeth before continuing, “built something. You thought you were safe.” 

A boy wearing a cowboy hat with a gauze pad covering his eye stared in shock at Rick with his mouth wide open. His eyes followed the bat up to Negan, and then settled on you. His mouth closed as you looked him in the eye. Shivers went up your arms. Whether they were from the freezing cold air or not, you couldn’t tell. 

“I get it,” Negan rambled. Your eyes darted towards the short brown-haired woman, who gagged silently. “But the word is out. You are not safe--Not even close. In fact, you are pegged... More pegged if you don’t do what I want, and what I want is half your shit.” 

You knew it was coming. You had already gone through this at the Hilltop. It was heartbreaking the first time, but it wasn’t nearly as suspenseful. You weren’t there when Negan found out about your community. You had only heard of what happened in the stories that Jesus told you. As far as you were concerned, nothing this extravagant happened to anyone in your group. 

You were at Negan’s mercy like never before. Half your supplies had been taken by him, then you were taken, yourself. You had almost escaped, but he was too good for you. If Negan’s third time was a charm, you were as good as dead. 

“And if that’s too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it’ll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life, now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, someone knocks on your door,” Negan paused once again, pacing slowly towards you. 

“You let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us, and we will knock it down.” Rick blinked as Negan jutted the end of his bat towards his head. “You understand?” Rather than answering, Rick stared blankly past you. His face was almost as pale as the woman next to him, only he showed no expression. It was like he was unaware of how much weighed on his response to such a simple question. 

Negan leaned forward and put his hand to his ear. “What?” he whispered. “No answer?” Negan stood up straight and dragged his fingertips over his chin, through his beard. “You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished. Now, did you?” His indiction of each word grew more and more powerful with each word he said. 

“I don’t wanna kill you people.” Rick’s breathing sped up, and yours followed suit. “Just wanna make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can’t do that if you’re dead. Now, can you?” Negan’s head turned towards you painfully slowly. 

“For you, my dear...” Negan said excitedly. He sauntered in front of you and squatted to your level. “I’m not sure what to do with you, just yet... Anyone got any suggestions?” He turned on his heels to face the group, who were all staring at you questionably. 

You tilted your head down, and a tear fell from your eye onto your leg. You wiped your face quickly, unaware that you had even begun to cry. Your thumb began tapping your thigh--a nervous habit you had developed over the years. 

“Alrighty, then. I guess Lucille shall decide her fate... if none of you are willing to compensate.” Your eyes eyes widened exponentially as Negan raised his bat above his head. You couldn’t make a sound, but the boy who you had glanced at earlier shrieked before Negan could crash the bat on top of your head. 

Negan smirked and halted his motions, allowing Lucille to rest on his shoulder. He spun quickly to face the boy, whose face had been drained of all color, aside from the pink that splotched his cheeks and nose. “Alright! Now, things are starting to get exciting!”

Negan chuckled to himself, then focused on Rick once more. Like he wasn’t completely willing to take your life. Like he didn’t just make your heart thrash momentarily. Your breaths were quick, and you were sobbing at that point. Your eyes trailed up from your shaking hands to the boy who sat across from you. You couldn’t help but stare, for it was your only way of acknowledging his bravery. 

“I’m not growin’ a garden, but you killed my people--A whole damn lot of them. More than I’m comfortable with, and for that... For that, you’re gonna pay.” He darted his head back to you again, and you dropped your head instantly. You gave up. You were at his mercy, and you were willing to do whatever he said you needed to. 

“So. now... I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one ‘a you.” He replaced his grip on Lucille and spun her in his hands. “This... This is Lucille, as (Y/N) is very aware, and she is awesome.” Your shoulders shook when he said your name. 

“All this... All this is just so we can pick out which one ‘a you gets the honor.” Negan paced back and forth, passing over each person in the line. He stopped in front of a man with red-orange hair. To your surprise, he didn’t cower down. He stood up off his heels and raised his chin, almost like he was challenging Negan. 

“Huh,” Negan sighed. He ran his fingertips over his chin once again, shaking his head. “Ugh, I gotta shave this shit.” He left the red haired man and strolled over towards the boy. You shook your head warily, sobbing once more as Negan stepped closer to him. You didn’t know the boy, but he saved you. The least you could do for him is make sure he got out of this alive, to return the favor.