#so that neither Zoro nor Kuina can read it)

[subbyp]

writing is an Experience because inevitably I’m gonna need some information that there’s really no way to search online for and it probably isn’t at the library either

on a related note, does anyone know how one would write a grocery list in Cajun French?

[deedee-writes]

BIG NEWS! Interviewing the Straw Hat Pirates - Zoro I

Prologue for this

The day was hot. As hot as every single one of the other nine days, Zoro had been tied to that post. His arms were stiff from being in the same position too long, and the rope burn was sure to be a bitch by the time he was freed. And he would be released; he just had to wait a little longer.

 His stomach grumbled, the riceballs he'd eaten not thirty minutes before doing a better job on reminding him of his hunger rather than appeasing it, however momentarily. A part of him was glad for his bandana, despite how suffocating it felt like. Otherwise, the sunburn would've been a bigger problem. As it was, any part of his skin not covered by either cloth or rope was already peeling.

 The wind was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it was the only source of coolness Zoro has, but on the other, it was sea breeze made up of salt and brisker, straddling the line with pain. It had left him coated in a layer of salt that itched and stung. It blew away flecks of dead skin whenever it went by. 

 He thought of the little girl he'd saved. Why did he feel inclined to risk his life, his dream, for a complete stranger? Zoro didn't think of himself as a moral, ethical man. He was called a devil if the word was to be believed, the fearsome Pirate Hunter. It was an epithet he took no pride or accomplishment in.

 What was it to him to be the best bounty hunter in East Blue? He was aiming for a goal much harder to achieve. Not every man openly said he wanted to fight Dracule Mihawk. In fact, from what Zoro has gathered, people went out of their way to avoid him, but for Kuina, for his dream, Zoro would stare into the death god's eyes, and he would not falter.

 A presence distracted him, and Zoro opened his eyes. Three sword handles greeted him. The green-haired swordsman followed the hand, holding the swords to the grinning face of one Monkey D. Luffy… His swords (Impossible). 

 "I didn't know which sword was yours, so I brought all three." The kid in the red vest said.

 "They're all mine. I use three swords." Zoro had answered mechanically; he'd explained their number uncountable times. He refused to acknowledge that he was slightly impressed at the kid keeping his end of the bargain. Though maybe bargain wasn't the word; after all, Zoro had yet to agree to anything. Scratch that, Zoro wouldn't agree to anything with this kid pirate.  

 "You'll take them, right?" He asked, but his eyes betrayed he wasn't really asking, they held a glint Zoro would eventually learn to recognize as an immediate warning for trouble. "If I give you these, you'll owe me.  Becoming a pirate? Or being killed by the marines? Which one is it?"

 For a moment, Zoro was speechless. The knucklehead he had discarded as naïve was making the pirate name proud and extorting him to join his crew. A part of him couldn't believe it, but it only took a flash of Kuina's face to know his answer. For someone with a promise like him, dying just wasn't an option. 

 "You're the son of the devil." He answered, smirk showing unexpected amusement at the whole situation. Zoro knew he was dismissing the extortion with too much ease, but he wasn't apprehensive about following this man. "But I'd rather be a pirate than die here."

 The smile that greeted him was full toothed and honest, but also positively feral.

 Moments later he'd be freed and would hold 11 marines at bay with his three swords (oh, how he had missed them the past days), and tell his new captain with all the conviction he possessed:

 "I promised to be a pirate, but that doesn't change that I will always chase after my own ambitions!"

 "Ambitions?" Luffy questioned. Paying more attention to his words that the fact that a single shiver could cost him his neck. The pink-haired kid behind him wasn't capable of his calmness, though, and Zoro didn't miss the way his eyes were jumping from every blade pointed at Zoro.

 "To become the greatest swordsman in the world," and dammit, despite how sure he was he'd do it, Zoro always felt slightly silly when speaking about his dream aloud. It was an ingrained reaction from having been laughed at one too many times. He convinced himself that his worry was more about having to travel civilly with someone who had laughed at his goal than anything else.  

 Not for the first time and certainly not for the last, Zoro was surprised by his captain's reaction. His grin widened even more (how was that even possible?), and his eyes didn't waver when he said:

 "Well, seeing as I am to be the King of Pirates, I can't expect anything less from my first mate, now, can I?"

 And something between the two boys that couldn't quite be called men clicked.

____________

 The observatory is quite comfortable for an interview, well lit, and home to a well-organized desk. They've just started, but Thelma's already fascinated. 

"He extorted you?!" The other man shrugs.

"I could've said no, I guess, but what for? I only cared about reaching my goal, Luffy was offering a way to do that." She hums at the use of the past tense in care and writes it down to ask a little later. 

"I see, I have more questions about this instance, but I want to clarify some rumors before those." Thelma had been unsure about interviewing the Pirate Hunter first. After the Straw Hats infamous captain, the highest bounty in the Straw Hat's crew is held by Roronoa Zoro, a man whose origins can be traced back -curiously enough- to being a bounty hunter in the East Blue. Less comically, even on that side of the law, he'd been known as a demon.

"Hn." He acknowledges, seemingly saving up words to keep telling her stories. So far, the man had proven unflappable, neither friendly nor belligerent, and surprisingly mild-mannered. He was blunt and honest, or at least, he appeared so to Thelma -who'd joined the ranks of journalist specifically for an uncanny ability to read people well. 

"When you reemerged at Sabaondy, a galleon belonging to the Fox Fire pirates was sliced in half. Witnesses describe the wreckage as a perfect diagonal cut, impossible to be the result of the coating failing. Many claim you were at the scene. Did you have a personal grudge against these pirates? Does your crew?"

The green-haired man looks absolutely confused, and then he seems to remember, eyes widening in an "aha!" moment. Without the frown, expression open, he's quite a looker, Thelma notes. 

"Ah, that time..."

______________

 Zoro awoke as he always did, lazily but never slowly. It was practical, having his mind on full alert, but knowing nothing around him was dangerous or threatening. (At least on this occasion.) Observation Haki definitely had certain perks to it that the swordsman took no trouble in exploiting. 

Distantly, the swordsman noted he was far more rested than he should be, the fishermen had said to wait a couple minutes at most, Zoro felt like he had been asleep for more than half an hour. A quick glimpse into his surroundings proved that he had made a mistake. 

 The deep blue of the bottom of the sea surrounded him, and Zoro assimilated the situation in microseconds. The pirate crew under him was happily celebrating on deck. Had they not sensed him or seen him? Were all pirates so oblivious these days? Zoro's mind drifted to his captain and decided that that was a question better left unanswered. 

 Many a solution crossed his mind, but Zoro went with the one he liked and knew best, pulling out one of his swords and bring it into position. Zoro slashed the sea right open. The ship rose alarmingly fast, the screams of the crew were annoying, but Zoro waited patiently. 

In the minute that it took the ship to resurface he was drenched. 

The sun and the docks greeted their arrival. Zoro clearly saw what mustn't have the small fisherman's ship. It was harder to see it between the crowds of people that his actions had attracted.

"Look! That ship is split in half!" 

"Did the coating malfunctioned?"

"It's cut perfectly! It almost seemed as if it was… sliced with a sword."

Zoro looked around again.

"I got on the wrong ship." He stated to himself, but his words attracted the attention of some crewmembers who, finally, spotted him. He put away his sword just as they called out to him. 

"Someone is standing!"

"Bastard! How dare you ruin our dreams to reach the New World?!" One of them screamed.

"What did we ever do to you?"

"It's a quirk of fate," Zoro said. Thinking back to the many things he'd seen since a gangly teen freed him from injustice and took him out to sea. "You should blame fate for placing a plague onto your ship."

"But it was you…!" Zoro never got to listen whatever else the man had said. He spotted Wiggly Eyebrows on the docks, and with a jump returned to land.

_______________

She’s not sure what to say.

“You...” She repeats. “You fell asleep on the wrong ship?”

“Yeah,” he says, “it happens.”

Thelma wants to shake him by the shoulders, hard. 

NO IT DOESN’T!