#so sick of having to watch people be like oh yay i got gender affirming surgery ive got the will to live back ☺️
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#im really losing any ability to pretend to be happy for people when they say they got their top surgery date or got testosterone or whatever#if i even had that in the first place#still waiting for my FIRST appointment thank you nhs you clowns#like this acquaintance of mine got their date and i called him a bastard#so sick of having to watch people be like oh yay i got gender affirming surgery ive got the will to live back ☺️#cant relate some of us are scraping by with cigarettes and hard alcohol#ive never gotten any vicarious joy from drawing characters with top surgery scars or whatever either it just makes me feel shitty#theres nothing holy or special about your scars theyre just a symbol of a stupid fucking broken medical system that doesnt#respect our bodies#it should be easy and free and it SHOULDNT be a big deal but it is because we cant fucking have nice things#am i expecting anyone to be happy for me whenever it happens? fuck no im going to be annoying about it#if this sounds nasty this is what being on a nhs waiting list does to you and i dont really feel like apologising for it#delete later#lalalalala sour grapes lalala laaaaa
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