#so she told me ''pain over it if it bothers you that much? jfc''

[sevicia]

I woke up and immediately felt like ranting hello my beauties 🥂

I've been in and out of sleep today & at some point I woke up because my sister was telling me to check Whatsapp so I could go and try to fix up our grandma's TV. so I checked thinking my mom like, asked Me specifically, but her text was directed at both of us and I was so confused I fucked up and asked my sister why she wouldn't go and her immediate response was "because I don't want to", and I was so tired I accidentally fell back asleep and just now got back from helping her fix the TV where my only role was to hold it up from one side and while I was like, trying to grab it for her she repeated "from the bottom. from the BOTTOM." which I was trying to do but couldn't cause of her hand and it turned out all right eventually but I still don't know how I should've gone about holding it to get it right ?

I also clear and set the table for lunch everyday even though it's her chore and she tells me to do it because she's the one who cooks, but it just means All she does chore-wise is cook and maybe do her part of the dishes while I clean the table, clean the counters, hang up the laundry, put away the clean dishes and maybe do my part of the dishes.

plus when we're having lunch and I get distracted in the middle of eating by looking at my phone or smth she just tells me "EAT ALREADY" and I get why she does it so I can't really complain but it does make me feel bad for some reason. when I don't finish all my food she tells me I'm way too picky and when I don't wanna try new foods, or re-try ones I KNOW I don't like (which she loves to try and force me to try again for some reason???) she calls me childish and stupid.

so it's like, in General I end up doing the stuff she doesn't want to do except for when my mom's home and she intervenes because it turns out I AM five years old after all.

and I know I'm fucking stupid for saying yes to basically everything she asks me to do but I'm just so terrified of her being mad at me at any capacity or her hating me again and being really mean to me again because it was horrible to be insulted and made fun of every single day inside my own house and now I am still being insulted just way less often (and now she just calls me stupid, not other things) and she still makes fun of me a lot but is like way less intense about it so if you look at just those two things it's like I'm getting the lite version of my childhood BUT another reason I don't want her to hate me is just because of how awful it always felt to have my sister hate me as a kid. and now she doesn't hate me anymore and she tells me she loves me and worries about me and regrets treating me like that when we were kids and it's just. genuinely terrifying to think about her taking it all back and leaving me alone again even though I have friends now, I would still be alone because she's the one I've spent my whole life with, she's the one I share a room with and she's the one I talk the most with. she's the one person in my life who is even CLOSE to understanding me and I love her so much and losing that just because I couldn't suck it up is so so scary.

so I'm perpetually doing things for her just begging please don't hate me please don't hate me please don't hate me while she still calls me stupid and makes fun of me for getting things wrong and it makes me so so angry because it's so pathetic it's so pathetic for me to be like this it makes me want to bash my own head in with a rock

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 36 - thoughts.

Hello everyone!

Back at it again with chapter 36’s notes! Of course, if you want to avoid spoilers I recommend reading the chapter (found right over here) first. Also, I skipped chapter 35’s notes because I didn’t think there was much to say… or if there was, it would be too short for me to make a post. However, if there’s something you’d like for me to expand on that chapter I’ll gladly oblige! My ask box is always open ❤️

As always, major spoilers underneath the cut, as well as no proofreading, or very minimal. All candid you know lol.

Now, without further ado, here are the notes!

This chapter was meant to clarify or deepen the motivations behind some of the characters :> uncover the continuous mystery surrounding Minako’s and Tomoko’s absence, their relationship with their family, and one thing I’ve been wanting to explore about jujutsu (which I’m not done with hehe) however, I did face some difficulties, mainly because of the timeline and if the stories were tragic enough HAHAHA.

But anyways, let’s start with the hardships.

The timeline, a.k.a how old were Y/N and Naoya when their respective mothers died. Now, I don’t like setting down dates because I feel like once you take that commitment, there’s no going back 😂. And there’s too many things I want to explore to reduce them into dates, so I tend to leave them open-ended.

However, with Y/N I did have some guidelines. It was important for me to keep Minako’s death occurring after ’98, and all because I said she was very supporting of Ren when Ginger Spice left the Spice Girls 😭 not them influencing my fic once again 😂 that, and because I didn't envision her being present in the high school era of their kids.

Taking all of this into consideration, her death would've to occur inbetween 99-01. The latest would make Y/N roughly 10 years old, Hinata 12, Ren 14. Very young to lose a mother, indeed.

As for Naoya, I just needed him to be old enough to remember Tomoko, but not that old for Mariya and the gang to remember her. Out of the two, she would have to be the most mysterious one, considering nobody wants to talk about, (I wouldn't be surprised if the members of the estate didn't know when she was last seen) one could even say she’s more of a legend at this point, impossible to prove or disprove.

I think the one that knows/remembers most of her had to be Junko, considering how she was trained to be Ogi’s wife or whatever bullshit by her. Naobito can’t be bothered to remember his own wife, not even after the 6 kids she gave him, although he is the kind of person to compare “his ex” with his partners, saying how she was prettier or some other bs, or even look for said partners who kind of resemble her. At least her memories live on with him like that jfc what am I even saying.

Anywayssssss

I think that out of the two, Tomoko’s story was the most tragic. In the way that she was essentially doomed from the very moment Naobito set eyes on her. I don’t think she ever imagined the things she would have to go through. Maybe the kid part she had an idea, but the rest? Nah, no amount of indoctrination could ever prepare her for that.

The more depth I give her, the more realize how truly alone she is, like it physically pained me to have to write how Tomoko could only trust her children (and not even all of them); she probably couldn’t even rely on Junko for anything. Now that it’s been brought up, Tomoko probably asked Junko’s favorite flowers to be planted as a way to show sorority, reach out to her, but it flew past her. I don’t doubt she desperately tried to reach out to her family too, only to be told to “suck it up” and that this is the best thing to happen in their life, so she better not ruin it.

Once again, the Zen’in dynamic is heavily inspired by the Todoroki fam lol Tomoko must be Rei around the time she burnt Shoto. I’m glad to say that it didn’t go to those extremes but had Naoya not said anything… who knows what might’ve happened. Even as disgusting as he’d become, I’m glad his child-self didn’t get attacked like that.

Another point I wanted to explore about her was her dynamic with the rest of her kids. If I had to put like a list of her most to least liked kids, Naoaki would be the first, from there Naofumi, Naohiko, Naosuke, Naohito, and finally, Naoya.

Naoaki is mainly because he was her first child, back then when she was still… “ok”, and even with the environment she had to raise him, she still cared for him and was very involved in his upbringing, as much as she could anyways.

Because he was the oldest one, the most “mature one” thanks to his crude childhood, Tomoko felt she could confide in him, but that relationship didn’t flourish until he was replaced by Naoya.

I swear, Tomoko must’ve been the kind of mother that unintentionally pitted her children against each other and spoke badly of their father to them by saying things (mainly to Naoaki) like “I don’t know what your father is thinking about, you’re clearly much better than Naoya” and “You were never as impolite as him” and so on and so forth. She might’ve also been blunt about how Naobito doesn’t seem to like them, but that “didn't matter” because she does. (OK Tomoko, not sure they wanted to hear the first part but aight)

She tried being a good mother, she really did. But her environment, alongside the critical pregnancies she had finally took a toll on her mental health, and it led her to take it out on Naoya—I believe the best way to describe what she was feeling was postpartum depression, but considering how grave it was and the problems she had with her previous pregnancies, it was more likely postpartum psychosis.

The Zen’in strike me as the kind of family that doesn’t believe in mental health—less if it comes from women, I shouldn’t be surprised they thought Tomoko as simply “emotional” instead of having an actual condition that needed treatment. Oh no, the Zen’in shooting themselves on the foot once again? Who could've seen this coming?!

Naoya unfortunately became the outlet of Tomoko’s suffering, which started as soon as she gave birth to him and held him—she looked at that poor baby and something inside her snapped. Something like “you’re the child these bastards were looking for, you’re the reason why I had to suffer so much.”

Also, I don’t know if anyone remembers one post a long time ago, where I said I was watching the movie Hereditary and was like “Huh, inspiring.”

I meant this scene. Except that Tomoko (or at least that’s what I understood from the mom’s “disdain” for the kid—of course, that was just one issue of the many they had lol) didn’t feel sorry for Naoya and the life he was going to be put through, but rather all that she had to endure to conceive him. Can’t blame her, it was tough… I just wished none of them had to become her victims too.

That, and essentially Azula from Avatar, that one scene where she’s like “my own mother thought I was a monster” goddamn if that isn’t painful—it made you feel bad for her, even with her craziness, she just wanted a mother 😭 unnghhhh not me trying to redeem Naoya!!!! (more like make him… human)

Her absence was definitely the major point as to why Naoya turned out to be the way he did. With her gone, the last “happy” (let’s put it that way) thing inside the Zen’in was completely eradicated. Even if Naoya didn’t get to interact much with her, just by seeing her by afar he probably would’ve been like, wait…. What is… that—get a reference on how not to be an absolute, indisputable piece of shit.

He would’ve still turned to be a jackass, but maybe not that bad? Idk, people can have two parents and still turn batshit crazy.

Now, this also served to justify his womanizing ways lol. I don’t know why the fandom decided that was to be one of his traits (which I don’t mind I guess), considering he’s insufferable, but after watching one of my favorite youtuber’s expand on someone who behaved a similar way, I was like DAMN is that Naoya.

People tend to seek attention through various ways, and for Naoya that would be in countless women. It’s peak mommy issues, I know, but in his defense… don’t we all have parent issues 😭? Anyways, Naoya tried to search for that one person that would cherish/love him unconditionally, someone that made him truly special, saw for who he was and not for what he had… (can you believe I based that “you’re my favorite child because you’re the most talented one” line FROM A GODDAM DOUJINSHI? I won’t go into details, but it’s a certain obnoxious, irritating heir from a prestigious clan and his renegade cousin HAHAHAHAHH)

I mean, I get it, but what was Naoya expecting to find by flaunting his wealth in order to meet people? Not to say that everyone is like that but come on lol. And he wasn’t even selective about them either? He would just go with the one he considered attractive/convincing enough and hoped for the best, I guess? He became pickier further down the road (aw, Naoya eventually learned to be choosy lol) stopping only, of course, when he eventually met his beloved Y/N :> Just another tease for their first meeting (I feel like I’m hyping this too much, I hope it ain’t disappointing when it finally appears on the story)

Well, even if he cares for Y/N, he still takes a lot from Naobito. He’s lucky Y/N is essentially trapped with him because she would’ve left the moment she could—she’s not like Tomoko, she still has someone to support her so… the clock is ticking Naoya.

Now onto the other BS family, the L/N.

This is the part I liked the most, because it’s more inclined to the whole “expanding how jujutsu can be used” kind of thing.

I already knew that Minako was going to… die like that and was looking forward to expanding on it when it finally came to it. (I just know that Ren, Hinata, and Y/N would hate this one vine with a burning passion—Gojo is the one to show it to them and they will beat his ass) doubling down when the whole culling games arc thingy happened on the manga, I was like DAMN so that’s what Kenjaku was doing? What was going to happen with Tsumiki? oohoHOHOHO, although I don’t think both things could relate considering the timeline and the requirements to mark them… or who knows? I don’t remember if it was specified when Kenjaku started marking people, or if Tsumiki and the rest of the victims were the first ones. (there’s allot of things that don’t make sense to me 😭 and I haven’t kept up with the manga tbh)

Well, it didn’t stop me from going on with my plan, and thus I began to torture Y/N and her family.

The reason why Minako got cursed… was easy: because some sorcerers were jealous/desperate to get to her. After seeing how strong her kids were, they thought “well maybe we can kidnap her and use her” but after that proved to be a failure, they decided “if we can’t have her, no one can.”

It’s really sick to know that, but with a crazy-ass community as the one the jujutsu world has… I really couldn’t think of anything else. I mean, the Kamo’s…

Anyways, I always wondered what it meant to be haunted in this universe. Once again, I don’t remember if it was ever mentioned/shown (outside of haunting places) so I had to exploit that to my advantage.

I know curses are seen by sorcerers, but I like to think that those powerful enough, maybe having a set goal/victim/target manage to become invisible to everyone but them—either by sheer determination or something lol. No, but really, that must depend on the level/power/talent of the sorcerer that begins the haunting as well as the curse, and if they’re really powerful they might be able to zero-in on their victim completely untraceable, God help if the person isn’t a sorcerer. Like, no one will be able to feel a curse is nearby.

Because it takes great skill (to pass undetected), only a handful can perform the ritual it takes to haunt someone, making it a dangerous practice. I’d like to believe it was eventually forbidden at one point, thus destroying all records showing how to do so.

And because I want to, there are levels of haunts too hehehe, here are the ones I can think of right now:

Those to harass. Self-explanatory, they’re just there to bother, and depending on the intention, they might hurt too.

Those to influence. Do someone else’s bidding, an additional voice for your conscience. The victim might think it’s them thinking such thoughts and enact them on their own within time. They’re fully conscious of what’s happening, might question if they truly want to do that, but they go through with it anyways.

Those to control. Take full control of their body and conscience. It’s the harsher one of the three to do (as well as difficult to trace), because its success greatly depends on the will of the victim. If the victim is strong-willed the haunt might take some time to work, if at all, and depending on the curse, it might find ways to debilitate them to ease their entrance. Once controlled, the victim will not remember anything that happened until after, rarely are they conscious during the act.

Minako was affected by the last one—however, it didn’t go as successfully as the perpetrator wanted because I like to imagine that since the OG rituals were wiped out, the only thing that managed to survive (if anything) were pieces here and there of information, leaving the rest to the imagination haha.

It’s why Minako was still able to fight it off a bit, and remember some things. But yeah, someone was intending to take control of her—and she was fighting that person (as shown by those allegedly senseless conversations) to stay away from her, but in the end she succumbed.

Omg I just thought… what if Minako, upon noticing the curse user’s intentions, decided to sabotage her body??????????????? Stop eating so they wouldn’t control her? Omg………………………………………………………………………………………………

But of course, the notes are here to give closure on some things, so… even with Minakos’ strong will, the curse managed to inflict enough damage on her, the result of those actions being the marks on across her body, setting her up to be controlled.

I gotta say, even though the L/N are absolute, always-wrong, pieces of poop, they did the right thing by “killing” Minako during this stage, because the next thing would’ve been the curse controlling her.

The rumor of them being the ones responsible of her death is nasty. But not so crazy, considering the elders really did not like Minako for something that wasn’t even her responsibility, but try convincing these “old-style” bastards out of it…

Writing this made me think of a question idk if anyone wondered lol considering these rituals were “banned” it would make sense someone would try to report them to HQ right? or if it’s something new, never-seen before… right?

Well, Eiichi tried, but without solid evidence, it could easily just be a rumor—and a waste of time/money to pursue. He was very angry with that, believe me, and scolded the elders for wasting an opportunity to prevent another family from suffering the same.

However, if they had been responsible of that… they obviously wouldn’t rat out the person that helped them.

Omg…. What if in the au where Toji takes Naoaki’s role or so, he was taking jobs on the side, shady ones, and he was actually involved in Minako’s death (to not say he was the one responsible)?????????????????????????????????????????????????? that might be the point where she starts to look at Naoya under a different light lol.

But yeah, going back to the actual story, gee, what an entanglement, truly. F the jujutsu community.

The following point is the deepening of the relationship of the main branch, a.k.a Eiichi, Minako, and all them kids.

I always envisioned all of the kids being super close to Minako, and not because they disliked Eiichi (he was a good dad—just… awkward lol. Uncool, and just how Posh Spice would say... yeah, poor Eiichi 😂. He’s definitely an avid practitioner of dad-jokes) but because his duties often kept them apart; he tried his best to be present, but it’s hard sometimes.

They all loved them kids tho, but because of particular reasons I will disclose later, that being now, Y/N was the favorite one. After Hinata and Ren filled the L/N clan’s expectations, it essentially allowed Y/N to have allot of free time with her parents, so they were able to dote on her more frequently.

It just made me wonder how much Y/N had to train in order to keep up with them (specially Hinata) since she wasn’t a priority when it came to her jujutsu education—I’m sure they all did what they could so she wouldn’t be left behind, but more likely than not she did lots of self-learning.

I really liked the opportunity this chapter gave me to deepen Ren’s, Hinata’s, and Eiichi’s motivations. I swear to God their subconscious took Y/N’s abducting as “yet again, another sorcerer (clan) trying to hurt our family”

Of course this was enough for them to snap, but they all reacted differently.

Because Eiichi felt completely alone without Minako, it was easier for him to be manipulated by the Zen’in (allegedly AHAHAH) and because they were so aggressive about it, he genuinely thought Y/N would be much better with them than him continuing to resist, so there’s that—but if it’s worth anything, he’s deeply regretful for having succumbed and there’s not a day where he doesn’t believe Minako is cursing him from heaven. Of course, those thoughts come more to him while he’s drunk, another consequence of having lost her. He was an occasional drinker, mostly social, but his grief certainly took him to that point.

Ren was probably the most aware one when his mom got sick, and thus, the one that probably felt the most responsible. Going on and on about how he was supposed to be a sorcerer, just a few years away from entering jujutsu high, and yet didn’t figure out his mother was being haunted/cursed. The guilt inside him was so big, he had to get out of the house as quickly as possible—one of the many reasons why he decided to study in Kyoto at first, only coming back later when he grew disappointed by the environment there (which just made him remember of the elders of his clan he hates so much) and missed his family, so he eventually returned. It was kind of a “well, if I’m going to be angry all the time, I’d rather be angry with my family around.”

Hinata also felt very, very guilty for what happened to Minako, mainly because of her cursed technique. She went through a phase of constantly demeaning herself, calling herself “inept” or “stupid” because her technique is supposed to protect the user/target from those kinds of attacks—this led her to become far more… involved/creative with her technique, trying to exploit her limits as much as she could to prevent something like this ever escaping her attention.

Y/N felt the most isolated, because she heavily relied on being with someone, (thanks to the elders being nasty with her ugh) you know? Someone to support her. The rest tend to deal with their own things by themselves, and while they still supported each other, it wasn’t the same. I guess that’s the reason why she was so excited to attend jujutsu high, only to be left virtually alone when the whole crisis thing happened and no new students were enrolling, worsening when Naoya decided to further isolate her from the rest of the world when marrying her. Her getting heavily attached to Naoaki, Mariya and the gang, Mai and Maki, shouldn’t be a surprise at this point. Specially Naoaki nnnhhhhggghhhhhh.

I know there were different expectations for this chapter, mainly because we’ve been desperately hoping for the moment Naoya and Y/N will finally talk lol. And I gotta say I might’ve disappointed some by how she essentially ran away… but I promise it will be worth it in the end lol Y/N running out on him like that is good I believe, cause she’s shocked that Naoya is actually capable of feeling anything else, but you know, pure evil.

These two chapters were mostly intended to show the human side of Naoya, Y/N’s reaction to it and just how similar their backgrounds were when it came to their mother's.... but with outcomes so different.

To give him emotions (and show how he handles them—terribly. I mean, he got sick!! HAHAH it’s like that one episode in atla where Zuko is good for the first time in his life and gets sick) and maybe deepen their relationship. It helps that Y/N is very empathetic to those around her… but it’ll be up to her and how he decides to act during this time if something happens between the two.

I gotta say, if I play my cards right, I think we’re like 3 chapters away from that one chapter I’VE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE FOR FOREVER I SWEAR ALL THIS SLOW BURN WILL BE WORTH IT. :> But until then…

Thank you so much for coming for a new update!!!! I know I’ve been taking quite the hiatus here and there, but it does not mean I don’t find importance in this fic, and the support you’ve given me 🥺❤️ Thank you so much for being patient with me! Can’t wait to show what’s coming next!!

As always, these are just important parts I remember as highly influential for the chapter, but if there's something you'd like to know more about don't hesitate to let me know!! I'll do my best to respond ❤️

Now, take care, have a wonderful week, and hope to see all of you soon!!

[fuck-customers]

Fuck managers! I scheduled a surgery for mid june in mid april, plenty of time in advance. Also not for anything serious, but definitely something thats been bugging me for almost the entire year so far and has already caused me to miss work, so my supervisors at least vaguely know about it. Also something that will definitely take at least a week or two of recovery so I had to take some time off for it. Our time off request system is online and tells us what days are blackout days and can’t be requested off. Usually that’s reserved for holidays. The days I scheduled said nothing and didn’t seem to be blacked out which was why I picked those time in the first place. You can see where this is going

Fast forward about a week, I’m at work and one of my supervisors asks me to look at the schedule real quick, and she goes “so I denied the vacation days you took in June for father’s day weekend and the blackout days around it, but the rest are good to go :)” Now my managers are actually pretty understanding, and again I had completely forgotten that I had scheduled it over fathers day which was definitely on me, but again there was nothing indicating it on the request system either so I figured they would be fine! I work in a bakery so holidays do tend to be busy but...not fathers day. Most people get their dads steak and shit like that, not fruity colorful cakes (although they definitely should). I’ve worked there for nearly 5 years and fathers day has NEVER been especially notable in terms of sales.

So assuming my boss would be cool and help me work something out if I told her, I was like “oh, I actually scheduled surgery for that time.” Again, usually they’re cool and understanding and actually work around you very well.

Well not today! She was kinda just like “yeah?” and stared at me blankly. So kind of taken aback I was like “uh...I’ll see when I can...reschedule it for I guess?” To which she was like “sounds good!”

Now I had picked the days I did specifically because I’m going on a work trip in mid may and won’t be back until the 31st. Fathers day is the 20th of June and I scheduled surgery for the 11th. So I asked her “I won’t be back from the work trip until May 31st and the only other available surgery date was June 4th...instead of my current date y’all think you would be okay with me just...being gone for a whole month? Or back for a couple days between the 31st and 4th just to leave again?” And keep in mind, literally EVERY time I’ve taken time off in the last year, they’ve asked me to either just not do it or have texted or called me trying to beg me to come in. Every. Time. I know this won’t be any different, and I don’t wanna toot my own horn but I do good work and they STRUGGLE when I’m not there which is exactly why I asked this. But of course she was just like “no yeah that’s fine, hell, just take the whole month off!”

It kind of just ended there but the more I thought about it the more pissed I got. Like the schedule is already out until mid may and I’m not ?? prepared for surgery like right now even if that was an option. Then the work trip, and then doing the surgery on the 4th might not even be enough recovery time before the fathers day blackout starts! I’m not gonna be in pain and risk my recovery for that shit! Not to mention doing it after is out of the question since 4th of July follows so soon after and that’s DEFINITELY a much busier holiday for us. I don’t want to keep waiting to fix this problem and the date I picked really is the best option without pushing it out until almost AUGUST when it’s been bothering me since JANUARY. And I do feel bad for scheduling it over a holiday but again I got no indication that it was blacked out! It’s hard enough already to schedule anything longer than 2 weeks without accidentally doing it over a holiday, at least this holiday isn’t all that busy!

Not to mention the fact that that kind of behavior is on brand for her. She acts super nice and like I said is actually really cool and understanding and is totally cool with working with you with this kind of stuff...unless she’s in a bad mood. She’s very much the type to take shit out on us and sometimes she’s super weird and stubborn and vindictive and it’s just dependent on her mood and how shitty she feels like being to you that day. And since she’s a supervisor she just gets away with it. Earlier that day even my bf had texted me like “hey, (supervisor) is in a bad mood jsyk” and when I come in what does she do? Use her authority to be weird to her employees! She’s always been like that and I have stories on stories about her, this just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyways this story does actually have a happy ending! I continued my day and had just resolved to having to reschedule surgery and figured I would exact revenge by leaving for my trip and just staying away as long as I possibly could, when my team lead comes RUNNING up to me and goes “oh my god, do NOT reschedule your surgery jfc” and I was like “oh but I can if y’all really need me to?” (I’m too nice) to which she goes “NO!! That’s crazy!!! Thank you for even CONSIDERING doing something like that but no absolutely not. You’re not fucking around at home doing nothing for 2 weeks it’s SURGERY.” And ended the conversation by walking away so that was that lol. I’m very glad one of them actually has some sense.

Oh, and other supervisor came up and did this thing she likes to do when she’s wrong where she doesn’t apologize but DOES find a way to just brush off her wrongdoing. This time she comes up to me later in the day and was like “haha yeah I told (team lead) that you told me the time off request that I denied was actually for surgery and she stopped what she was doing, shook her head, and IMMEDIATELY came up to talk to you lol” like yeah no shit dude?? Oh the team lead was disappointed that you’re being a bitch and had to clean up your mess?? And is also actually reasonable and didn’t expect me to literally cancel getting my body cut open to come work a stupid holiday that’s not even busy? Real shocker lmfao

TLDR boss tried to make me reschedule a much needed surgery bc I scheduled it on blackout days that no one told me were blackout, other boss comes thru and is like “wtf thats fucking crazy please don’t do that jfc”

[disownedbytiime]

Thought I complain a lot here I try not to be as negative and word everything as a minor inconvenience, but rn I’m really at my limit

I only wanted to stop the pain,. It’s a fûcking debilitating pain that has haunted me since I was 11. Thanks to becoming allergic to several medicines, I cannot take the pain killers that lowered the pain a bit (never completely got rid of it), and now because I wanted to relieve myself of that pain, I cannot stop bleeding. It’s been two months and a half, and though the pain diminished it’s still there! So why am I even doing all of this? It’s just worse.

And I feel so unheard too. I know it’s my own issue and nobody should care, but jfc. I’m mad at my doctor for making me feel guilty about this and for diminishing my pain. I’m mad at my mother bc she thinks it’s better to bleed for two months than trying medicine that she believes unsafe. And for not believing that the pain I feel is real and for thinking that I should just get over it bc if I try other methods (stoping periods completely or removing uterus) it would be worse. Because she can’t be empathetic and just doesn’t believe me.

And I’m so tired of feeling like this. It’s so fûcking hard to do anything. I used to be strong you know? Carry trays with several 12in plates with one arm. Now I can’t even open my water bottle anymore. And I feel my heart going awry all the time when it never did in the past. And I hate being dizzy and nauseous all day. And it’s just too much and I’m so tired.

And maybe I’m really exaggerating and maybe I’m just a drama Queen like I’ve been told, but I can’t do this anymore. I just want to cry to someone who won’t diminish my problems, but I’m too proud to open to anyone for real about this, and I also don’t wanna bother people bc overall it’s not even that bad.

But I can’t do this.

[jyndor]

not more rogue one meta (with novel citations jfc cait)

I want to clarify this post I made because I don’t think I was clear with why I used the novel passage I chose. anyway the reason I find this moment so heartbreaking

is not because I think cassian is wrong for wanting to follow his orders, or for having mixed feelings about galen erso, or for obviously deceiving the daughter of the man he thinks he is about to assassinate. but because despite everything, he has been a steadying influence for jyn, someone who she has come to trust.

she doesn’t want to go with cassian and bodhi because she doesn’t trust that cassian is going to betray her; in fact it never even occurs to her that he might kill galen. even when he is literally configuring his sniper rifle in front of her.

she has her back to him, someone she absolutely does not trust in the beginning of the movie. in the novel she actually thinks she can trust draven more since “he [is] an ass, but that [makes] him predictable.” whereas cassian is “the intelligence operative, the spy, the casual liar” and so she thinks he “could be trouble” (pg 44). but cassian proves himself to her - he protects her from that partisan’s grenade, risking his mission, and whisks her off of jedha, risking his life (and his mission but she doesn’t know that).

and it isn’t like she doesn’t know that cassian is conflicted about galen. in the novel on page 129 (I am going to die with this book in my hands i stg) she notices that “the tension” in his face disappears underneath “his spy’s face, his innocently cerebral face” and “[knows] exactly what it [means].” then she says the line from the film (”you’re wrong about my father”) and adds, “you think he’s still working for the empire.” and she’s not entirely right because cassian does believe her (and bodhi) despite himself, which is why he doesn’t end up killing galen* in the end.

she doesn’t seem to like the idea that she isn’t going with them, but she’s not suspicious of cassian’s intentions. she trusts him. and that is what breaks my heart, and why jyn lashes out so cruelly to him despite cassian never actually pulling the trigger, despite him disobeying his orders.

so I used this passage from the novel -

cassian, who had betrayed her.

when had she figured it out? during the race from the landing platform? when the first x-wings had streaked across the sky?

it didn’t matter. over the years she’d developed a sense for betrayal. she’d mostly grown numb to it, accepted it as the price of living free among killers and thieves.

why had she expected more from the rebellion?

- because I was inspired to gif it because of that little pat she gives him, the way she trusts him to have her back because he’s sort of earned that trust. the reason she expects more from the rebels is because she knows they are better than petty “killers and thieves” even if she wants to pretend otherwise. and in particular she thinks cassian is better than that, despite knowing that he is a spy and that she shouldn’t trust him.

and I’ve talked about the reason why I find their argument so compelling and heartbreaking before but: they are both right and wrong (although cassian is more right than she is, he’s just ignorant about the reasons why jyn “left” saw). jyn is wrong to call cassian out the way she does. it isn’t his fault that galen is dead, he very clearly had not followed the order he’d disagreed with, and even if he did follow draven’s order he would still be better than a stormtrooper because he is a rebel (a freedom fighter), and she knows that. she’s just trying to hurt him (like when she tells saw that she isn’t bothered about the imperial flag flying - it’s pretty obvious even without the book that she’s just lashing out at another father who left her behind). it’s not okay, but we have all said hurtful things when we’re hurting. 

and in my opinion, it isn’t just galen’s death that has her so hurt. it’s that she is a person with serious trust issues thanks to all of the people who have abandoned her and betrayed her (some of that is covered in rebel rising) and feels like she has been betrayed by someone else who she trusted despite her misgivings.

when we are in pain we aren’t the most reliable sources - pain can cloud our judgment. it can make us ugly and cruel and vindictive, and rogue one didn’t try to soften its lead characters. it kept them real and honest, and I love that. as @mockingjaypin​ wrote (I hope she doesn’t mind me using her post) yesterday:

Jyn being unapproachable, bitter, and flawed is the WHOLE point if you only like her when you whittle those parts away to make her a bland Strong Female LeadTM you have a fundamental misunderstanding of who she is

I just wanted to write a bit about this because I don’t think cassian actually betrayed her (that would be a hell of a reading coming from someone who loves cassian more than any other rogue one character, including jyn).

*as much as the shipper in me likes the idea of cassian seeing jyn’s eyes when he looks at galen and not being able to shoot him because it would be like shooting her (and alexander freed does a bit of buildup on this, having cassian think about how if he kills galen he will basically be “destroying jyn” on page 153) but I have always felt like that moment is too important to cassian’s arc to let it be about his feelings for jyn. don’t get me wrong, of course that played a role, but cassian believes that galen erso could do more good alive and with the rebellion, he believes that galen told bodhi he could make amends for working for the empire. does that mean he would be wrong to assassinate galen? well, that’s not something I feel comfortable answering because it would be similar to assassinating robert oppenheimer, a man who undoubtedly created one of the worst weapons in history and, despite hating nuclear weapons, is in some way responsible for the us nuking japan.... anyway that’s a whole other thing.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

with you [4/6]

Summary: Clementine pops the question.

Preview:

Louis chuckles to himself, causing her to quirk a curious brow.

“What?”

“We’re engaged.”

Clementine laughs with him now. “We are.”

“That’s crazy!”

“Is it?”

“Uhm, yeah. You’re my fiancée.”

“Soon to be your wife.”

“Holy shit.”

His smile is so wide it’s almost painful.

All night, the evening replayed in his head. Her fingers gliding along the piano keys, the golden glow reflected in her gaze, the heaviness of her voice when she admitted to wanting him- really wanting him - and shock of metal pressing into his skin as she slid the ring on.

His mind mulled about the fact that almost everyone seemed to know about it. Except him, of course. How little things started to make sense; Aasim’s weird behavior and the whole deer plot in general, Mitch throwing his shoe to keep him out of the basement, Willy bursting into their bedroom looking for Clementine, Ruby’s over-friendliness towards him, AJ’s eagerness to occupy most of his time…

His smile falters, just a bit.

His mind wanders to Violet.

Warnings: Ruby says “hootenanny.” Aasim hits his head. Mitch doesn’t know how to deal with gross feelings. Violet’s angsty again. Clementine and Louis each have some worries of their own. This is anything but short and sweet jfc

Author’s Note: [insert “it’s too long had to split it again” speech here] Yeah I’m not even gonna bother at this point just know that it’s five parts now [maybe] and I’m still a big liar. I’ve just got too much to say about these kids so... yeah. Anyway, on a lighter note, THANK YOU to everyone who’s read and left comments/likes! I’m sorry that it took so long! It seriously means so much to me and I hope you enjoy this part. 

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI |  Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad | Read on FF.net

---

The early morning isn't gray, but a soothing lavender and brilliant amber. The colors merge into neon pink and peach, a hue that would be blinding if not for the pulled curtains. The sweetness of dew ridden grass wafts in through the cracked window, cooling the room's temperature.

Louis inhales deeply. Though he's one to usually sleep in, he does have a fancy for the smell of mornings during the spring's transition to summer. It's a floral freshness you can't find any other time of year.

He watches Clementine slip her jacket on with such a fondness he can't begin to describe. He twists the ring around his finger over and over again as a reminder that last night really happened. All of it. From the silly and exasperating deer hunt to seeing the music room engulfed in a golden glow to the feeling of Clementine's finger tracing his palm.

"Louis, will you marry me?"

She sits with him now, scooting close enough for their legs to press and tangle together. Her eyes flutter shut as she relaxes against him, face buried in the crook of his neck and arms wrapped around his waist.

They barely slept last night.

They both could hear AJ tossing and turning over in his bed, sighing heavily several times during the night.

Clementine wasn't any better. With her body curled up against his back, she found that no matter how long she kept her eyes shut, sleep wouldn't take her.

It didn't help that every once in a while, a quiet, involuntary giggle would escape Louis. He tried to play it off like he was coughing, but she knew better.

Eventually, frustrated with his own restlessness, AJ hopped out of bed. Fully aware that he wasn't the only one awake, he claimed he would go on patrol and check on watch. Neither of them argued because, with the young boy gone, Louis could roll over and press a kiss to Clementine's lips without any judgment or awkwardness.

"We should get up," she sighs uncommittedly and without any movement.

"Should."

"Lots to do today."

"Lots."

"Ruby's probably waiting for us, too."

"Probably."

Neither of them attempts to get out of bed.

A particularly harsh gust of wind hits the window just right, blowing the curtains up and letting that morning luminosity seep in over the floor.

The cool air tingles his skin, so he pulls her closer. They would consider closing the window, but it's a pain in the ass to get open again due to the boards nailed over half of it. Besides, most days it's way too warm to keep fresh air out. They'll secure it when winter rears its ugly head again.

Louis lifts his hand up before him, admiring the ring adorning it. He uses his thumb to twist it until the carved initials appear.

So, he didn't just imagine that, either.

"This doesn't feel real," Louis mumbles.

"It is."

Clementine holds up her hand, too. Together, their rings are a perfect match. She places her fingers over his, bringing their hands down to intertwine over his chest as she rests her chin on his shoulder, peering up at him.

"You slept okay, right?"

"You assume I could sleep?"

"I mean, no bad dreams?"

"No," he answers lightly, relieved. "Course, you have to sleep long enough to actually dream. I just couldn't turn my brain off, I guess."

He tilts his head back, expression soft and thoughtful, but with a hint of something else. Like he's bothered.

Quietly, almost apprehensive, she brings herself to ask, "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No." He shakes his head, tightening his grip on her. "Of course not, Clem. I just can't believe this is happening. What brought this on? Like I said, I didn't think this was something you would've wanted."

Clementine pulls back from him to meet his gaze, saying, "Back at the train station, seeing you try and explain marriage to AJ and the way you looked," she grins, soft and pretty, "I couldn't get it out of my head and I just... knew that I wanted to marry you, end of the world or not."

"Wow," he breathes out. "Are you sure?"

She playfully pinches his nose. "Thought we talked about this."

"Yeah, but I want to one-hundred percent sure!"

"Then, yes, Louis. I am one-hundred percent certain that I want to marry you."

"Even though my nose is big and I have funny-looking ears?"

"All ears are funny-looking."

"Maybe so," Louis laughs. "But, still."

Clementine presses a light kiss to his cheek, resting her forehead against his. "What do I need to tell you to get you to believe me? Since my romantic proposal wasn't enough."

"Oh, it was plenty," he tells her with a beaming grin. "Never thought I'd ever get married, much less proposed to. Especially like that. I mean," he shrugs a little, "didn't think I'd make it this far in general, to be honest."

Her smile fades.

"I know," he says before she can speak. "I know. On a happier note, my bride-to-be, you're right. We have lots to do today."

He gives her cheek a quick peck and slides out of bed. He nearly blinds himself when drawing the curtains open, but boy does it snap any drowsiness out of him. He rubs his eyes, blobs of colors staining his vision as he moves around the room to gather up his things. Clementine remains on the bed, watching him with a reflective look.

She can see his mood is light now, still full of elation as evident by the grin stuck pulling at his lips.

Of course he could hardly sleep last night, he thinks.

How do you sleep when the girl of your dreams proposes to you?

Hell, not only proposes but plans an entire evening consisting of a well thought out candlelit dinner and sweet, classical music. And, on top of that, manages to acquire a set of matching bands to propose with?

Clementine did that for him.

Him.

Even now, he's not entirely sure this isn't just some intense hallucination, but god, he hopes it's not.

Louis chuckles to himself, causing her to quirk a curious brow.

"What?"

"We're engaged."

Clementine laughs with him now. "We are."

"That's crazy!"

"Is it?"

"Uhm, yeah. You're my fiancée."

"Soon to be your wife."

"Holy shit."

His smile is so wide it's almost painful.

All night, the evening replayed in his head. Her fingers gliding along the piano keys, the golden glow reflected in her gaze, the heaviness of her voice when she admitted to wanting him- really wanting him - and shock of metal pressing into his skin as she slid the ring on.

His mind mulled about the fact that almost everyone seemed to know about it. Except him, of course. How little things started to make sense; Aasim's weird behavior and the whole deer plot in general, Mitch throwing his shoe to keep him out of the basement, Willy bursting into their bedroom looking for Clementine, Ruby's over-friendliness towards him, AJ's eagerness to occupy most of his time...

His smile falters, just a bit.

His mind wanders to Violet.

Clementine's talk with her made sense now.

He'd tried to push aside those less enjoyable thoughts over the night, the ones of Violet, the overly dark ones lurking in the back of his mind. Those ones, in particular, he forced away into the deepest parts of his mind. Those thoughts were ones that could break him, so he did his best to focus on the rush of love he felt for the woman pressed against him.

Now morning is here and it's time to face the reality that came with it. While he isn't ready to face his biggest fears just yet, he does let those thoughts of Violet race through his mind, which caused his small grin to quickly pull into a frown.

As he watches Clementine place her worn out hat upon her head, he knows that it's time to get serious.

"Clem?"

She turns to him, brow raised.

"Does Violet know?" he asks.

She glances away. "No, she doesn't."

"You didn't tell her? During your talk, I mean."

"I was going to," Clementine says slowly. "While we were still planning things, we weren't sure if we should or how we should tell her. I thought maybe if I told her it'd be the best chance I had at fixing things."

She steps closer now, arms still folded over her chest and expression pained.

"After we argued and she told me how she really felt," she shakes her head, "I just couldn't. I knew I had upset her enough and I don't know how she would've taken it."

Louis nods, understanding. "And, you're sure Tenn hasn't told her?"

"No, he promised he'd keep it to himself for now."

He pulls her close, holding her comfortably against him. "Well, don't worry. I'll talk to her today."

"Are you sure?"

"She has to know, Clem. She can't not be a part of this. Maybe she'll take it better if it's coming from me."

Clementine hesitates before mumbling, "What if she doesn't want to be a part of it at all?"

That's not something he wants to think about. It's that thought that he's tried avoiding all night.

If he's going to get married, end of the world or not, he wants Violet there.

Ideally, and totally unrealistically, Louis imagined her singing at their wedding.

He imagined him and Clementine dancing together, close and intimate, with him holding her hand to his chest and gripping her waist firmly. He imagined Violet's lovely voice filling the music room with whatever sappy love song he'd picked out for her. And when she finished, she'd smile at both of them and sing again.

That's where those thoughts ended because there's no point in making himself feel so sad over something he knows would never happen in the first place. While optimistic, Louis can see things through a realist sight. Daydreams and fantasies have their place, and right now isn't the time for it.

Right now, he needs to focus on talking with Violet. Clementine wasn't able to tell her, and that's okay, but she needs to know. He needs her to know that he wants her there. Even if she only popped in to grab a drink and wave at him, that would be enough.

Whether or not she'd listen is another story. Louis knows he can't force her to come. Hell, he doesn't want to force her to do anything. In the end, it's Violet's choice. All he can do is be as open with her as possible and tell her how he feels.

"In the very least, she deserves to know," he says. "And, maybe it's time me and her sort out some things of our own. There's..." he sighs, "there's some stuff that needs to be said, I think. Things we've been ignoring." He smiles at her, warm and comforting. "Leave it to me, Clem."

Clementine studies his face for a moment, worry furrowing her brow. "Just... be careful, okay? I don't want this to be like the last time you guys talked about something involving me."

"It won't be, I promise. I'll take care of everything. Besides, you've got other things to worry about."

"Do I?"

"You've got a wedding to plan, right?"

She smirks. "I guess I do. Although, I think Ruby's already planned most of it."

He chuckles. "Well, in that case, we shouldn't keep her waiting."

---

The full brightness of the day has taken over now, even if most of the sunlight is buried beneath the fluffy white clouds. It's much warmer than the past few days, too, giving the full effect of spring.

The first one they see is Willy.

Outside the open basement doors, he's down on his knees digging through a plastic tub and pulling what looks like Halloween decorations out. Rosie's beside him, curiously poking her nose around a long orange and black streamer.

Mitch's voice echoes from down the basement steps, but neither of them can make out the words.

"What!?" Willy calls out, tossing aside a smashed up paper pumpkin.

More undistinguishable yelling is followed by a loud thump.

"I don't know! Maybe in the back!"

Omar's gathering and sorting through wood, prepping it for a fire. Clementine can see his cooking equipment is stacked neatly on his table, freshly cleaned. He waves at them, whistling Rosie over to keep him company.

James' up on watch with AJ, from what Clementine can see. The young boy has his binoculars up to his face, searching outside the walls for any danger while James peers off in the opposite direction.

Ruby's nowhere in sight.

"She's probably already tearing apart the music room," says Louis with concern. "Don't see Tenn or Aasim, either."

"Clem! Louis!" Willy calls out to them, waving them over using a plastic skeleton arm. "Come look!"

Louis chuckles as they approach the boy, saying, "Didn't think our theme would be jack-o-lanterns, but I must admit, the approach is charming." He grabs a broken plastic pumpkin basket, one that would've been used for trick-or-treating.

Clementine bends down to admire the various decorations. "Wow," she says, "can't believe you guys kept all this stuff."

"The school used to go all out on holidays," Louis explains. "I mean, all out. Not a single corner wasn't covered for Halloween or Christmas or whatever. Even the dumb ones got decorated for. Said it'd make us cheerier if we were surrounded by it."

"Makes sense, I guess," Clementine nods.

Ericson's a pretty big school, and if they really did deck out the entire place, then that required a lot of decorations. It opens up a lot of potential for the decor of the wedding, she thinks.

Picking up a torn cardboard cutout of a glittery pumpkin, she finds her heart swelling fondly.

It reminds her of when she was little, before the outbreak. Her mom had bought her the most beautiful fairy costume to wear trick-or-treating. The skirt and wings had so much glitter on them that whenever she moved a puff of sparkles seemed to flow around her. It took her weeks to get all that glitter out of her hair, and even longer for her mom to get it out of the carpet.

While it does bring happier memories to mind, she's not sure how she feels about a Halloween themed wedding. Especially in the spring.

Willy pulls out a terrifyingly cheerful vampire mask and slips it on, cackling and wiggling his fingers at her. "Blood! Blood!"

She waves him away, laughing. "Okay, okay, please tell me you aren't using this stuff for the music room."

"Nah," Willy shakes his head, yanking the mask off. His messy hair sticks up in all directions, static from the plastic mask. "Just thought it was cool. Haven't touched this shit in years." The young boy's face lights up when he finds a crusty tube of fake blood. "Mitch's still looking for the real decorations. He's got this really cool idea! I dunno how it's gonna work, but if it does, it's gonna be awesome."

"Nothing explosive, right?" Clementine asks.

"No," Willy frowns, "Ruby already told us we couldn't make you guys fireworks."

"That's probably for the best."

"No fireworks, huh? But think of the crowd they could attract," Louis jokes.

"Yeah, a crowd of walkers."

"Hey, if James' friends want to come, I'm not opposed. Add 'em to the guest list, I say."

Clementine lightly smacks Louis' leg with the cardboard pumpkin, sticking glitter to his jeans and making him chuckle with amusement.

"Shit!" A sharp hiss comes from down the stairs of the basement, catching their attention. Two large plastic totes with a cardboard box stacked on top come into view carried by a struggling, panting Mitch. Louis is there quick, pulling off the box and handing it to Willy before taking the top tote.

"Dude, careful!" Louis says, grunting at the unexpected weight of the tote. "You'll fall and break your neck."

Mitch, his flushed face now in sight, huffs out, "Thanks."

They drop the totes and box to the ground with hard thuds. Mitch wipes his sweaty palms against his jeans and takes a breather, plopping down on the ground.

"They were buried in the back," he says. "Shit's a mess down there now, but I found 'em."

Willy pulls out what looks like thick batteries and small solar panels, as well as some black tape and a bundle of wires. "Think these'll work?" he asks. "We've never tried using them for something like this."

"We'll hafta try out a few different ways of hookin' them up." Mitch catches his breath, saying, "If they don't do the trick then we'll have to go to plan B."

Louis kneels down to examine the equipment for himself.

"And, what exactly is plan A?" he asks.

A wide grin spreads across Mitch's face. He tears off the plastic lid to one of the totes and pulls out an armful of tangled string lights. He shows them off with such a proud confidence that you'd think he'd struck gold.

"Ruby's not budging on having your wedding in the evening and wants to use all those candles again, but I got an idea. Get enough of these and they'll light up the place just as good. They'll also look better and we won't have to deal with that nasty ass smell those candles give off when you burn 'em too long. Just need you to pick out which ones you want."

Clementine eyes the string lights, dumbfounded. She and Louis share a look and she finds him just as perplexed.

"Pick out...?"

He begins to carefully pull apart and separate the lights. "We've got red ones and green ones and multi-colored ones, or there are some white ones, a few orange, but I think those ones are broken. These ones flash, I think. Found some with hearts, but it's only one set. And they're ugly. Anyway," he puts them back in the box, turning to the couple, "which ones?"

"Uh, Mitch?" Louis cocks his head to the side. "I-I don't know how to break this to you, but... those lights need to be plugged in and we haven't had electricity for years now."

"Yeah, dumbass, I know," Mitch scoffs. "Don't mean I can't get them to light."

"By...?"

Willy holds up the batteries and small solar panels. "These!"

"We're not one-hundred percent sure this'll work or if we'll have enough, but if not," Mitch shrugs before opening the second tote, pulling out a handful of clear boxes containing battery powered lights. They're smaller and much more delicate than the others. "We got these. They'll take up some smaller batteries, but we got a lot of rechargeables so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Except they won't be enough to light up the whole place."

While Clementine finds it odd that Mitch is more willing to waste batteries than candles in this situation, she can't help but share his excitement. The thought of string lights illuminating the music room is quite compelling, even if she has no idea how the boys plan to pull this off.

"Smell or not, wouldn't it be easier to just use the candles?" Louis asks. "It sounds like this'll be a lot of work for something that might not even turn on."

"Your rings were a lot of work, too, and they turned out better than the piece of shit Clem wanted to give you."

"Hey, that ring was perfectly fine until you broke it," Clementine argues.

"And yet, you prefer the ones I made, don't'cha?"

"I never said I didn't." Clementine pulls out more lights to study, these ones green. "You really think you can get these to work?"

"Do you doubt me?"

"No."

"Then, hell yeah, I can," he smirks. "S'not like you're gettin' married tomorrow, so I should have plenty of time to figure this shit out."

"Ah, jack-o-lanterns," James' soft voice comes from behind. His smile is delighted as his eyes widen in awe at the various decorations.

"Hey, James, look!" Willy shoves the vampire mask back on, though crooked this time. "Mwahahaha, I've come to suck your blood!"

James' shoulders shake as he gives a heartful laugh. "You're quite terrifying," he compliments, charmed by the sense of nostalgia the decorations bring. "I haven't seen anything like this in a long time."

"Halloween used to be a pretty big deal here," says Mitch. "Used to get dressed up and trick-or-treat at all the different rooms, but they'd always give us the shitty candy."

"Is that why you preferred the 'trick' part of it?" asks Louis. "Weren't you the one who set off cherry bombs in the toilets?"

"Yeah, but only because Mr. Henderson gave me a handful of Almond Joys."

"Poor, poor Mr. Henderson," Louis sighs. When Clementine gives him a questioning look, he says, "He was the janitor. But, wait, the story gets worse when you find out the toilet still had a bunch of shit in it."

Willy bursts out laughing, holding his sides.

"It was fucking everywhere," snickers Mitch.

"Mitch!" Clementine scolds, crinkling her nose at the horrific idea. "That's disgusting!"

"Well, who the fuck likes Almond Joys? You don't hand that out on Halloween!"

"I wasn't ever a fan of those, either," James says. "I always liked Reese's."

"Yes!" Mitch points at him. "Reese's were the shit!"

"Kitkat's, too."

"Hell yeah! M&M's?"

"All except the peanut ones," James grins.

"Fuck peanut M&M's, man," Mitch happily agrees. He holds his fist out to James, prompting him into a fist bump which James excitedly does.

"Yeah, I was always more of a Skittles man, myself," Louis adds.

"Really?" Clementine asks.

"Oh yeah, I could scarf down bags and bags of Skittles until I made myself sick," Louis grins. "And I did. A lot. What about you?"

"At Halloween? I used to love candy corn."

"Seriously?" Mitch exclaims.

"Oh, darling, no."

"Ew."

"What?" Clementine laughs. "My mom used to make cupcakes every year and decorate with them. They were good!"

"Uh, no, candy corn's worse than Almond Joys!" argues Mitch. "Sorry, Clem, don't think we can be friends anymore."

"Likewise," says Louis.

"Hey!" She picks up the paper pumpkin again and smack's Louis' knee with it again. "Don't judge me!"

"I'm judging you super hard," Louis shakes his head, twisting his face into one of dramatic, exaggerated sorrow as he places his hand over his chest. "My darling Clementine, a lover of candy corn."

"It's not that bad."

"It's pretty bad," James agrees.

"Nasty," Willy nods.

"You were deprived as a child," Louis laments. "My poor Clementine."

"Oh, jeez," she rolls her eyes. "You guys are being ridiculous, you know that?"

"Hey!" A voice calls from the school. They turn to see Aasim coming towards them. "There you are. Ruby's waiting for you guys in the music room."

"Hey, Aasim. We were just looking for her," Clementine says. "Thought maybe she'd pop out here first before getting started."

"Oh, she's been in there all morning moving shit around. Had me and Willy take the couch out," Mitch scoffs. "She was barkin' at me to help her fix something before I snuck out."

"Yeah, the table," says Aasim. "I'm helping her with it. I just need something to tighten the legs. Got anything in the basement?"

"Yeah, check my toolbox," Mitch nods. "Should be by the stairs."

"Great." Aasim wanders towards the basement, uninterested in the various Halloween items thrown about.

"Well," says Clementine turning to Louis, "we've kept her waiting long enough. We better go."

"Before that," Mitch motions to the tote, "which ones?"

Oh, right, the lights.

"Well, obviously," Louis spots a string of green, four-leaf clover lights, no doubt used to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. "These ones, of course."

Clementine rolls her eyes, smirking. "Yeah, probably not."

She likes the idea of the white lights instead of the colored ones. She's still not sure how Ruby's planning on decorating and white lights go with everything.

"These," she says firmly. "They're the same color as the smaller ones, right? We'd probably get more use out of them."

"That's what I was thinking, too," Mitch grins. "We'll practice and test things out on the others. Tell Ruby not to bother with candles."

James peers over her shoulder curiously. "Lights?"

"Mitch here's gonna make them work with no electricity," Louis shrugs. "Like a goddamn wizard."

"Oh," James smiles. "Perhaps I could help? I don't have much to contribute to this wedding and I'd hate to just be a bystander."

Clementine grins. It's sweet that James is so eager to help, and it's good to see him involving himself more with the others.

"That is, if it's okay with you?" James adds, looking for Mitch's approval.

"Uh?" Mitch blinks up at James, obviously thrown off by his offer.

"Hell yeah!" Willy exclaims. "You can help! We're gonna hook 'em up to these batteries and string 'em all over the room!"

James, happy to be included, moves to kneel beside Mitch and pulls out the lights to study them closer. Mitch eyes him, mouth twisted into an unsure frown, but upon seeing Willy's excitement, he shrugs.

"Sure." Then, he nods over at Clementine. "Go see Ruby. We'll take care of things out here."

Clementine offers them one last smile before she and Louis wander away.

"Think he'll actually get them to light?" Louis asks.

"I think if anyone could, it'd be Mitch. And, if he can't, we still have plenty of candles."

"Right," Louis nods. He gazes up at the sky, brows furrowed in thought. Then, a charming smile spreads across his face. He pulls open the door, standing aside and motioning towards the entrance. "Shall we?"

---

When they walk into the music room, they're greeted with the unusual sight of what looks to be an aisle leading from the doorway and towards the center of the room.

On the left side, there are three rows of mismatching chairs.

On the right, there are the same three rows but instead of chairs, there are piles of pillows. Ruby's at the other end, peering back and forth between the two in contemplation.

On the far left of the room, Aasim's fixing the legs of a long table, no doubt the one that'll be holding their meal. He's quietly grumbling to himself, something about none of the wrenches working or being the proper size.

"Ah! Clem, Lou!" Ruby beams at the couple, rushing down the aisle towards them. "Good, yer here!"

"Wow, Ruby, you've already transformed the place."

"More like emptied it," Louis says, looking around the room. "Heard you took the couch out but damn."

Now that he mentions it, Clementine does notice that it feels particularly empty. The couch is gone, as well as the modified table they used last night. The walls are bare now, too. Even the portrait of the old headmaster's gone.

"Yeah, me and Aasim moved it all out," says Ruby. "Gotta make room fer the aisle! Which, now that yer here, ya can help me decide."

She takes a few steps back now, pointing to both sides.

"Which one ya like better? Chairs or pillows?" she asks. "I've been goin' back and forth on it for ages now. Chairs would maybe look nicer and it'll be easier ta stand, but pillows are comfy and cozy and easier ta kick outta the way." She turns to study the chair side some more. "Then again, chairs would be more traditional since we ain't got benches."

"There's nothing traditional about this wedding," calls Aasim from under the table.

"True," Ruby considers.

"Uh?" Louis glances at Clementine. "We're deciding on seating arrangements, right?"

Ruby motions to the aisle they're standing in. "Yep. Ya see, when Clem walks, she'll come down this path ta meet ya over there," she points over where the aisle stops, "and the rest'a us will be seated on either side," she explains. "Whattya think? Should we sit in chairs or on pillows? Which do ya prefer?"

The couple takes in their options before turning to each other.

"Whatever you want will work for me," Louis shrugs.

Clementine shakes her head. "It's your wedding, too. You're allowed to have a say."

"Isn't the bride supposed to make all the choices for her special day? I thought all I had to do is stand up there and look pretty."

Clementine laughs. "Well, sure, that's part of it," she teases, "but this isn't just my wedding. You should get as much choice in it as I do."

That's... not what he expected.

Not that he was expecting Clementine to turn into Bridezilla or anything, either. He just always assumed that the bride has the final say in everything since the wedding is supposed to be "her day."

But, glancing between his two choices, he can't deny any blatant favoritism towards one, and if he really does get a say...

"Not gonna lie, I like the pillows."

"I'm shocked."

"What?" he chuckles. "Ruby's right. They're cozy! They're also mine, by the way, just collecting dust in my old room. Might as well put them to good use."

"Yeah, had Willy grab the rest of 'em this mornin'," Ruby says. "Hope ya don't mind."

"Nah," Louis waves a dismissive hand. "Just, y'know, make sure they get put back in our room when everything's said and done."

"Uh, no, not all of them," Clementine objects. "We don't have space for all of these. You're pushing it already with the ones you have."

"Ah, my darling, I think you're missing the bigger picture here. Imagine the pillow fort we could create with all of these. It'd be magnificent, the coziest castle in all the lands. It'd put all those who tried to match its majesticness to shame."

Clementine rolls her eyes so hard it almost hurts. "Too bad there's no room for such a fort."

"We might have some extra space if you didn't pick up every animal skull you found."

"Hey, that's different," she laughs. "Those look cool!"

"Uh-huh."

Clementine bites her lip to suppress a smile, turning back to Ruby. "Pillows it is."

"Got it! Aasim?"

Aasim, still under the table, jerks up too fast and smacks his head against the corner. "Ah, shit!" he hisses.

"Shoot, you okay?" Ruby asks, worried by how harsh that thump sounded.

"Yeah, yeah," Aasim waves it off while rubbing the tender spot on his head.

"Sounded like that hurt."

"Nope, not at all," Aasim lies. "What do you need?"

"Can ya help me move some of these ta the side? Figure we keep some in case anyone wants ta take a break after the dancin' starts."

"Dancing!" Louis says with a bright grin. "Hear that, Aasim? We'll finally get to see those sweet moves you've been hiding from us."

"Dude, piss off."

"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss," Ruby chuckles. "I already picked out a bunch'a swing and slow songs fer it. And, yes," she pointedly looks at Aasim with a smirk, "we're all dancin', at least a little."

"I don't dance," Aasim says flatly.

Ruby jerks her thumb towards Clementine. "Well, ya gotta at least dance with the bride. It's good luck."

Aasim looks at Clementine, an awkward panic rising in his features. "Uh-"

"And the groom," Louis adds with a wink. "The good luck's only valid when you dance with the bride and the groom."

Aasim's shoulders droop as his expression becomes exasperated. "Oh my god..." he grumbles.

At that, Louis laughs. More thoughts, ways to tease poor Aasim, enter his mind but he decides to keep quiet for now. Don't want to provoke the guy too much, especially in front of Ruby.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed, Aasim," Ruby smiles at him. "I'm sure yer a great dancer. Oh, also," she turns back to Louis, "I pulled some slower, prettier ones out fer ya ta look at. We need somethin' to play while Clem's walkin'."

"I'll give 'em a look," he says. "Sounds like this'll be quite the hoedown."

"Oh, this's gonna be better than any other hootenanny we've had before," Ruby's excitement carries in her voice as she begins to move the chairs. "And, now that yer both here, we can get down to the nitty-gritty."

"Nitty-gritty?" Clementine asks, amused.

"Right," Ruby grins. "Like I said, yer gonna walk down this way and over here," she moves to the other side of the room, close to the fireplace, "is where we're gonna have one'a those big arches fer ya ta stand under."

"An arbor," Aasim adds.

"Right, that. Mitch said he'd figure somethin' out."

"He sure has his hands full, doesn't he?" Clementine says. With him trying to fix a bunch of lights that may not even work, as well as his other daily duties, she wonders where he's going to find the time build an arbor.

"Does it ta himself," Ruby rolls her eyes. "Did he tell ya his big idea?"

"Oh yeah. He's pretty excited about it," Clementine grins. "James is helping, too."

"Well, maybe he'll keep that boy outta trouble," Ruby frowns. "Anyway..."

Ruby told them all about her plans, from how they'll decorate the serving table down to where they'll hang the banner Tenn and AJ's making.

All the while, Louis went through different records in search of the perfect one. When he finds it, he glances over at Clementine, who's deciding how many candles they'll need if the lights fall through, and smiles. He tucks it away where she won't see it, making a mental note to tell Ruby about it when the day comes.

It's decided that AJ will be the one to give Clementine away, while Aasim will be the one to marry them.

"Really?" Clementine turns to the other boy, brows raised in surprise.

"Sure," Ruby grins. "He's the best choice, don't'cha think?"

At that, Aasim glances away, scratching the back of his head with mild nervousness. He shrugs, saying, "Yeah, I can marry you guys. It's not like it'd be that hard."

"'Pastor Aasim' does have a nice ring to it," Louis mumbles more to himself than to them, still over messing with the records.

"I think the term is 'marriage officiant,'" Aasim says. "At least, according to 'Save the Date!' weekly."

"Been doing your research?"

"Not research," he replies defensively, "I mean, it was with the other magazines. We were looking at it for ideas."

After going over all the fine details of the wedding, neither of them expected Ruby to kick them out.

"Decided that we want it ta be a big surprise," Ruby explains. "So, neither of ya are allowed in here 'til yer wedding day, that's the rule."

"Uh, I have a very strong objection to that!" Louis complains. "You're telling me that I don't get to play piano until after I'm married?"

"Yep, and don't you think 'bout sneakin' in here," she warns, pointing a stern finger up at him. "I ain't afraid ta drag you out by yer ear."

"But this could take weeks! Weeks!" Louis turns to Clementine with pleading eyes. "Tell her she's crazy!"

Clementine rolls her eyes. "I actually think some time away from the piano could do you some good. It's not going to take weeks to plan, right?"

"Wouldn't say so, but it'll take time ta put it all together."

She turns to him, shrugging a shoulder with a smile. "I like the idea of it being a surprise."

Louis frowns, hands planted on his hips in a way that reminds her of AJ when she doesn't give him what he wants. Now she knows where he learned it.

"Thought I got a say in this?"

"You do, but I have a feeling Ruby's not gonna budge on this one."

"Not even a little," Ruby agrees. "Ya two will live stayin' outta here fer a while. When it's all prepared, ya'll be the first ta know. Trust me, it'll be worth it. We won't disappoint ya."

Louis' shoulders slump, defeated with a hand pressed against his chest. "Sweet, sweet Ruby, you've broken my heart."

"Oh, Lou, don't you fret. I'll make sure ta keep yer piano nice and safe while yer gone."

"You'll find something else to occupy your time," Clementine tells him, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Think'a this as a good thing, Lou," Ruby says. "It'll give ya extra time ta work on yer vows."

"My what?"

"Yer vows! Y'know, ta tell each other how ya feel durin' the ceremony!"

"Like," Louis glances at Clementine, "in front of everyone?"

"I didn't know that was a thing," says Clementine a little surprised.

"Well, not all weddings have an exchange of vows," Aasim shrugs. "But, Ruby thinks it's a good idea."

"It is a good idea! It don't gotta be nothin' dramatic. Yer just makin' a promise ta each other. And no helpin'! They gotta be yer own words."

With that, Ruby shoos them out of the music room. Louis takes one last look inside, over at the piano and the initials adorning the wood, before Ruby slams the door shut behind them.

They move down the hallway together with Louis still partially sulking over the fact that he's been exiled from the music room, his home away from home.

He knows he shouldn't complain. Ruby's just trying to make things perfect for them, and bless her heart for that, but kicking him out of his safe space? What's he supposed to do now after a long day of survival?

"Shit," Louis sighs.

"It's not that bad. We'll just have to tune the piano after we're married."

"Great."

"Don't pout."

"I'm not."

"Uh-huh."

"Vows, though?" he asks. "You mean I have to actually put how I feel about you into words and say it in front of everyone?"

While this certainly wasn't something she expected when she first started planning to ask Louis to marry her, the idea of exchanging vows did make her heart flutter. She knows that even now, two years into their relationship, Louis still has his doubts. Perhaps she could use her vows to cement and bring peace to his mind about the way she feels about him.

"I'm actually excited. Aren't you?"

At that, he softens. "I'm fucking ecstatic. About marrying you, that is. Not the being kicked out part, and the vows thing I'm still a little iffy about."

She stops walking, turning to face him with a kind, loving grin. "Good, I'm glad to hear it. And, don't worry, I know you.  You'll write something great."

He grins, still a little uncertain. She seemed to always have so much faith in him. He just didn't want to let her down.

"I'm going to check up on AJ. See if he wants to go hunting. You wanna come? It'll take your mind off it."

He almost says yes, but then another pressing matter fills his brain, reminding him what's more important at the moment.

"Nah, you go on ahead," Louis says. "I think I'm gonna go see Violet now."

"Oh," Clementine's shift away, as if thinking. "Okay. Just... don't get your hopes up, alright?"

"Clem..."

"I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I know. I'll be okay, promise. To be honest, I'm looking forward to it," he admits. "I haven't hung out with her in a while." He smiles down at her. "You be safe out there. Both of you."

"Always."

With a final kiss goodbye, they separate.

---

Louis' hesitant to knock.

He knows he shouldn't be. He knows that Tenn'll answer the door and let him in. It's just what happens after he's in the room that's bringing the delay upon his hand.

He'd gone back to grab a few things, including the thick blanket folded over his other arm. He just hopes he can sell this idea to her well enough to cheer her up.

He can hear someone moving around, the wooden floor wincing and the hum of a voice.

Louis' arm starts to ache from having it raised, ready to knock without actually following through. He hears a softer voice now, definitely Violet's, and it tugs a small smile on his lips.

He's eager to speak with her, see her face. Even though it's only been a few days since they really talked, it feels longer. Especially since he had planned on checking in with her yesterday before all the excitement went down.

Thank god for Tenn.

He takes a deep breath, counting to three, and knocks.

After a brief moment, the door unlocks and Tenn peeks out at him. Upon seeing it's Louis, he opens the door further with a polite grin, glancing back at where it's assumed Violet is.

"Hey, Tenn!"

"Good-morning, Louis," the young boy greets. He glances back again, then pulls the door open all the way.

Violet's sitting on the bed with her back against the wall, legs crossed, and her water bottle resting in her lap. Louis can't help but lightly chuckle at her bedhead and the imprint lines still running along her cheek from the pillow. Seems that she's just woken up.

"Nice to see you, sunshine," Louis beams.

She rolls her eyes, yawning. She avoids looking directly at him, taking an interest in her cuticles instead.

He makes sure the door is shut and locked before he proceeds. Tenn moves over to his desk, not wanting to get in the way of the conversation. Louis can see he's practicing his bottles, though unhappily.

Louis confidently approaches the bed and sets the blanket over the bed frame, standing before her with hands gripping the opening flaps of his jacket and a brow quirked playfully.

"Vi, put on your best climbing boots, you and I are going on an adventure."

She blinks up at him slowly, blankly.

"Now, now," Louis holds his hands up, "I know you're excited, but please, let me finish."

He exaggerates clearing his throat.

"I don't know if you've looked outside today, but it's damn beautiful. Not only is it warm and breezy, but the clouds are big and fluffy. It's a depiction of a perfect day. I say we go enjoy it the best we can by climbing up to that place you like and breathing in some of that fresh air."

She glances away, mouth twisted in contemplation.

Louis takes a careful step towards the bed, deeming it safe to sit on the edge. That catches her attention. When she meets his eye, he gives her a genuine smile.

"It's been a while since we hung out, just the two of us, don't you think?" Then, with a smirk, he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a wrinkly, noisy bag. "And I brought pretzels, so, I mean..."

The corner of her mouth twitches up into an involuntary grin before she bites her cheek to hide it. Violet lightly shakes her head, murmuring, "I don't know." She flicks the mouthpiece of her water bottle up and down absently. "I'm not feeling too good today."

"Hmm," Louis fully faces her now, bringing his leg to rest on the mattress as he leans against the frame. "That fresh air might make you feel better."

Tenn's chair scrapes against the floor as he stands to gather up his drawing board. "It really is nice out," he says. "I'm gonna go out there and draw, okay?"

Louis grins, nudging Violet's knee and pointing at the young boy. "Have you seen how much he's improved? You should see the one he did of my handsome mug."

Tenn glances away timidly. "Um..."

This time, Violet smiles. She really smiles. "Yeah," she says, "you're getting better every day."

"Th-thank you."

Not wanting to feel awkward or butt into their conversation, Tenn leaves.

Now that they're alone, Louis takes a deep breath and allows his tone to become more serious.

"Haven't seen you for a while."

She shrugs, staring back down at her hands.

"I've been worried about you," he says. "I'm not gonna force you to hang out with me or anything, but I really do think going outside could be good for you."

"I-" she sighs. "You don't have to play nice. I know why you're really here."

"To challenge you to that wall climb? Because I'm totally going to beat you this time. Unless you cheat, of course."

She shoots him an unamused look.

Louis shifts closer to her on the bed. "Alright, you got me." He sets the bag of pretzels down and digs in his pocket again, pulling out his famous deck of cards. "I'm really going to challenge you to a very serious game of Go-Fish! Winner gets the last pretzel."

She rolls her eyes. "Dumbass."

"Maybe," he pockets the cards, "but, I haven't heard a 'no' yet, so there's a good sign." He picks up the bag of pretzels again, closing them up tightly and shoving them back into his jacket.

Violet takes a sip of her water, pointedly looking the other way.

"We don't have to go outside, and we don't have to talk about what happened. That's totally up to you, and if you really don't want to hang out with me, then all you have to say is 'no.' I'll get out of your hair. Promise."

He's patient as he watches her eyes fall shut.

Louis completely understands her hesitation, especially since she can see through him. At least, she thinks she can. He won't bring up the chat from the night before, but he's going to tell her the truth about him and Clementine, and he still doesn't know how she'll react.

Maybe she'd congratulate him in her own 'Violet' way, or maybe she'd snap at him for bringing Clementine up in the first place. Maybe she'd do nothing, just crawl back into her shell and refuse to ever talk to him again. Maybe she'd throw him over the balcony.

The possibilities are endless.

"It's really that nice out?"

"Best we've had in a while."

Violet scoots off the bed, handing him her water bottle as she gathers up her boots and slips them on.

"I'm totally gonna kick your ass on that wall climb."

Louis smirks. "Oh-ho! Cocky, much? Careful, Rabbit," he stands, teasingly shaking her water bottle, "sleep on this tortoise and he just might pass you."

"Hmm, we'll see."

She's still tentative about leaving, as evident by how long she sits on Tenn's bed after putting her vest on. But, Louis gives her his best encouraging smile, and that seems to put her at ease.

Shit, he's relieved that she's actually agreeing to come with him.

It's true, he does want to spend time with her, impending wedding confession or not. It really has been a long time since it was just the two of them.

With his nightmares and always being with Clementine, and Violet being so reclusive, it's hard sometimes. He knows he needs to make more effort, set aside more time to be with her. The guilt always begins to seep in whenever he goes more than a week without truly speaking to her.

Of course, she doesn't always make it easy.

He gives her space, even if he knows she needs someone.

What else can he do?

Their walk outside is peaceful. He carries the blanket, as well as her water bottle. By the time they reach the wall they need to climb, he's trying to stuff the bottle into his coat and keep the blanket secure on his shoulder.

"Y'know, I'm starting to think you only win because you weigh me down with all this stuff," he complains.

"Think of it as your shell," she smirks. "Ready?"

"Nope."

She's already climbing up, leaving him to still try and find his footing on one of the wooden planks.

"Hey, hey!" he says. "I didn't hear a 'ready, set, go!'"

"Ready, set, go!"

"Disqualified!" he exclaims, pulling himself up the wall while keeping the blanket from falling off his shoulder. "Rabbit, you're disqualified! I win by default!"

"You wish."

By the time he reaches the final ledge, adrenaline's coursing through his veins from the climb and height of where they are. Not that's he's afraid of heights, per se. It's more like he's completely aware of what would become of him if he were to slip off the edge and that's certainly not a happy thought.

Violet offers him her hand to help pull him up. When he's safely resting on his knees away from the ledge, he playfully glares at her.

"Cheater."

"Sore loser."

They find a spot lacking debris, smooth enough for Louis to lay the blanket flat. He plops down with a huff, ready to lighten the load of his heavy pockets. She sits close beside him, inhaling deeply and taking her water bottle from him. She sips the lukewarm water, looking up at the cloudy sky.

The breeze is nice, fresh. It ruffles her hair and cools her skin.

Louis can see by the serenity laying upon her features that she's already feeling better. It causes a smile to break free on his lips.

He offers her the bag of pretzels, saying, "What'd I tell you? Beautiful day."

"Eh, it's always nice up here."

"Maybe, but it's even better when the weather's like this. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly gonna picnic up here in the middle of winter."

Louis lays back, stretching out across the hard surface and tucking his arm behind his head. He should've brought some pillows, but he can only imagine the disaster that would've been him trying to balance them while climbing the wall. The tortoise surely would've gone splat.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Violet lay down beside him. They both stare up at the white, fluffy clouds as they pass over.

"Ah, see how nice this?" he asks. "So calm and peaceful and quiet."

"Not if you keep talking."

"If I don't talk, I'll fall asleep. That's how relaxing it is."

Violet doesn't reply, but Louis can tell she's smiling. He pops a pretzel in his mouth, racking his brain for something to say.

He can't just come out with it now since they just got here. Well, okay, he could but it's not the best idea. He wants to enjoy her company before they got into the deeper stuff that could potentially end with him being thrown over the railing.

"Okay," he starts, "would you rather... be half fish or half bird?"

"So, a mermaid or a harpy?"

"Yep."

Violet mulls it over before firmly answering, "Harpy."

"Really?"

"I could go anywhere I want, travel the world without having to worry about walkers."

"What if there are walker harpies?" Louis asks.

"Even if there are, they wouldn't be a threat. They'd be flying into trees and buildings with how stupid they are. I'd be faster and smarter, and much more terrifying."

Louis laughs at that, imagining Violet flying around kicking walkers in the head and smacking them with her meat cleaver, screeching like some kind of rooster. Harpies don't make rooster calls, he's pretty sure, but it's funny to imagine regardless.

"And where would you go?"

"Everywhere. Nowhere. Depends on the day." Violet smirks. "Okay, would you rather only get to eat one serving of possum stew once a month, and that's the only food you ever get, or only eat cantaloupe every day for the rest of your life?"

"Aw, c'mon," Louis complains, frowning over at her. "Really? Guess I'm gonna starve."

"Just plug your nose and swallow."

"I think you underestimate how awful and lingering the taste of cantaloupe is. No matter what you eat or drink after, you'll be tasting it for the rest of the day." Louis scrunches his nose, shaking his head. "I'd rather eat walker guts."

"Oh yeah, because that taste would fade away."

They laugh, really laugh together.

"Okay, okay," he giggles. "Would you rather have a head the weight of a bowling ball or the size one of those big, bouncy workout balls?"

"Easy. Workout ball," Violet answers. "Here's a fun one. Would you rather be stuck in the middle of a crazy snow storm naked, or stuck in a blazing hot desert with ten layers of clothing on?"

"Shit," says Louis. "Can I at least wear shoes in the snowstorm?"

"Nope, you're as naked as the day you were born. And no, you can't take anything off in the desert."

Well, that seems highly unrealistic.

"Why not? What's stopping me?"

"You're dehydrated and can't move."

"And why am I naked in the middle of a snowstorm?"

"Wolves stole your clothes."

"Wolves? What- they took my boots, too?"

"All of your stuff."

"Those bastards," Louis lours. "Fuck, I dunno. Neither of those are exactly appealing ways to go."

"They're not supposed to be. That's the point of the game."

"Which would you choose?"

"The desert. When I die of heatstroke, at least I'll have my dignity and won't be found black and blue and naked. Then again, you might die faster if you freeze to death."

Well, this game took a turn to the morbid, as it usually does. He shouldn't be surprised. It is Violet he's talking to, after all.

"Damn." Louis focuses his gaze on one of the clouds, its shape reminding him of a whale, thick and huge with a long tail spreading out.

"So?"

"The snowstorm," he decides. "Maybe the wolves will eat me and I won't have to worry about my dignity."

"Always the optimist," Violet sighs, reaching to grab a handful of pretzels.

A long time passes as the two of them point up and laugh as the disfigured clouds take shape of various things. Every once in a while, they come up with another 'would you rather' question, each more disturbing and hilarious than the last.

Eventually, they let the silence take over and enjoy the light whistling of the wind and rustling of leaves.

As Louis studies the sky, he can't help but feel his nerves tingling under his skin and his heart became heavy with anticipation. He thinks back to Clementine's worried eyes before they parted ways and how her lips felt pressed against the sensitive skin of his cheek.

Fuck, he could keep stalling the inevitable all day and all night sitting beside Violet and pretending nothing else existed, just them and the sky.

But, he can't, and he doesn't want to.

Subtly glancing over at the girl beside him, a strange wave of guilt floods through him.

He has to tell her.

Every time he thinks it, imagines it, his confidence wavers.

Violet points up that the sky, her voice snapping him out of his thoughts.

"That cloud looks like a dick."

He turns to stare at her with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It does. Look."

"You don't know what a dick looks like!" He pauses, a little disturbed. "Do you?"

"How could I not? They're carved all over the place."

"Ah, touché." He squints. "Yeah, okay, I can kind of see it."

He goes quiet again, but his mind continues to race.

Should he just say it?

Hey, Vi, guess what? I'm getting married! Cool, huh? Be my best lady?

Violet seems to notice his sudden silence, looking over at him every so often. He's sure he appears unsettled by something. Most of the time, when she bothered to really pay attention to him, she could read him easily.

And now, she knows something's wrong.

She sighs, almost annoyed, pushing herself up to rest back on her elbows, looking over him.

"What?"

"What?" he echoes stupidly.

Her irritation only grows, but something in her eyes tells him that it stems from some sort of knowing.

"You look upset," she says. "What'cha thinking about?"

When he doesn't say anything, she chuckles dryly, bitterly.

He can feel it. The air has changed and there's no more real laughter.

It's finally time.

"Lemme guess... you don't really want to hang out with me. You're just trying to think of a way to ask about the other night."

"No, that's not true," he replies quickly. "I already told you we didn't have to talk about it."

"So, she already told you everything." Violet lays back again, shaking her head with a clearly pissed off expression. "Fucking- ugh."

"She didn't, actually," Louis tells her softly. "She just said that she came to you to try and fix things and you two talked. That's it."

He cranes his neck to fully look at her, looking over the profile of her face, angry yet somber, lips pressed into a tight line.

"Fix things," she scoffs. "She tell you she brought Mitch with her? Like I'm some sort of psycho that'll cut her in half if she doesn't have any protection."

"That's not-," Louis sighs. "He was worried that things might get out of hand and wanted to be there just in case."

"You really think I'd fucking attack her?"

"Of course not, but... you did before, and you know how Mitch is."

Violet shoots up, bringing her knees in and wrapping her arms around them. Louis follows, trying to meet her eye but she refuses, her glare focused out through the trees.

"I don't want to fight. That's not why I brought you up here."

"Then why are we really here, Lou?"

Despite the disgruntled eyes, her tone isn't angry. It's tired, dreading what his answer might be.

"Because something crazy happened yesterday."

"Crazy?"

"Yeah, unbelievably crazy. I-" Louis bites his lip.

Fuck it.

Beating around the bush is never the right way to go about these things.

"Spit it out."

With one final look at her, he slowly raises his arm up and over her line of sight, spreading his fingers and allowing his ring to be seen. He watches for a reaction, finding her brows knitted with confusion.

Finally, Louis says, "I'm getting married."

The words hang in the air.

Hell, he's not positive he actually spoke them given her lack of response.

He brings his hand back to rest against his chest, feeling his anxious heart pounding against his palm.

He swallows, finding his mouth and throat suddenly dry. "Clementine proposed last night," he says quietly. "I said yes, of course."

She's processing everything he's saying, and with every passing second, her eyes become wider with realization.

"I know. Like I said, it's crazy," Louis says. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. We're having a wedding. In the music room, of course, where else? Heh, uh..."

She's unmoving, still unresponsive to his attempted light tone.

"Ruby's there now, decorating and tearing the place apart," he tries. "She's banished us from going in there. Can you believe that? I'm not allowed to flex my piano skills until after the wedding. I still don't know if I'm gonna be able to handle that, you know."

Nothing.

"And, apparently, Mitch is magic now because he thinks he can get some of those old Christmas lights to work without electricity, so we'll see how that goes. Hopefully, he doesn't end up electrocuting himself, or James. Or Willy, or all three of 'em."

Louis watches her fingernails dig into her sleeve.

His heart sinks as a small, disheartening sigh escapes his lips. He searches within himself, trying to find the right words to get something out of her.

"I don't know when it's gonna be, but when the day comes..." he takes a deep breath, "...I'd really like it if you were there."

She tenses, breathing deeply through her nose.

"Everyone'll be there, and it wouldn't be perfect without you, Vi. You know that, right? You don't have to stay long. Omar said he's gonna make a big feast. Of what, I don't know but even if you just came to grab something to eat, that'd be enough. I just... I need you there with us. All of us."

Nothing.

"Vi, say something," he pleads. "Please talk to me."

"What the fuck, Lou?"

He flinches at the harsh pain cracking her voice.

"I-"

"That's why you brought me up here? You butter me up with 'Oh, Vi, I miss you, let's hang out' and pretzels and stupid questions and then you tell me that?"

"Should I have just kept it to myself? Let you find out from Tenn or Ruby or whoever?"

"You could've just told me back in the dorms," she glares over at him. "You didn't have to drag me all the way up here for some 'big reveal.'"

"I just wanted to spend some time with you before I-"

"Shut up," she snaps, her hand flying out in a gesture of silence. "Just, shut up. I should've fucking known. First Clementine, now you." She scoffs.

"I don't understand why you're so pissed! You're one of my best friends. Even if you don't like Clementine, I thought you'd at least be a little happy for me."

"Happy for you? Are you fucking serious? You really don't get it?"

"Of course I don't! You need to explain it to me or else we'll be stuck in this shitty loop!"

Violet finally looks at him, right in the eye.

"How can you love her?"

"What-?"

"After everything she put us through? After AJ killed Marlon?"

"Clementine saved us, Vi. She saved you. Without her, we'd all either be dead, or worse. And Marlon, I- shit, why does that even matter to you? You hated Marlon, and-and I get why AJ did what he did and I don't hate either of them for it."

"You did, though, remember? When you kicked them out?"

"That was a mistake, one of the worst ones I've ever made. I-I was still in shock over what happened, and scared, and-"

"Doesn't change what you did," she says coldly. "Just like how it doesn't change what she did." Then, she shrugs. "Maybe you were right. We should've kicked them out permanently."

"Don't," he snaps, his voice coming out surprisingly harsh. "Don't say that. Who knows what would've happened to us, or to them, if you hadn't shot Lilly!"

"You wouldn't have been shot."

"So? It saved them!"

"Oh, that's right," she scoffs, her voice becoming bitter, "I forgot. If we didn't save them or let her back in, you two wouldn't have been able to suck face instead of preparing for our doom. How could I forget?"

"Violet, that's- How can you say all this stuff? You defended her!"

"Yeah, and look where it got me!" exclaims Violet as she slaps the bag of pretzels between then, sending it flying near the edge of the balcony. "Abandoned, beat upside the head and thrown into a cage! Maybe I should've been an asshole. Maybe then she would've saved me."

"I-"

He can't look at her now. He stares down at his fists curled in his lap, trying to control his heavy, aching heart.

"You have no idea what they threatened to do to us on that ship, Louis. And if you did, if she let them take you, then I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to defend her, much less love her."

"God, Vi, I-" he chokes out. "It's not her fault. It was those sick fucks who did that. Not her. Say we did leave her, never brought her and AJ back in. We wouldn't have been ready for their attack- they would've taken and threatened and tortured or even killed all of us. We'd all be brainwashed soldiers... just like," he swallows thickly. "...just like Minnie."

Violet's fuming, hands shaking violently at his words.

"Blaming all of it on Clem... it's not- it's not going to fix anything. It's made you miserable, and it kills me seeing you like this."

Louis scoots closer to her now, throwing caution to the wind as he reaches and grabs her hand, holding tight even when she tries to jerk away.

"I wish I could heal it, take it all away, I really do! Fuck, I-I wish Clementine had saved you instead! Maybe if she had, things would be better. Shit, you're a better fighter, better strategist, better everything! You sure as hell wouldn't have panicked like I did! We would've taken down the delta together and we'd all still be friends, but- fuck!"

He shrugs his shoulders helplessly, weakly.

"She should've picked you."

Her grip on his hands tighten.

"The entire time you guys were gone, I just... I tried to be better, I tried to be strong and help the best I could to bring you all back, I-" his voice cracks.

Violet remains silent.

"I don't want to fight anymore."

He lets go of her hand.

Violet holds her wrist as the quiet falls over them again for the first time in minutes.

"I love you, Violet," he whispers, "and whether or not you feel the same, we're family. We're all we have left. You don't have to hide from us- any of us. We miss you."

She stands up, pausing before passing him.

"Violet, please..."

"I've had enough fresh air."

He watches her leave, biting his lip to stop his chin from quivering. When it's just him, completely alone with nothing but the sunshine and clouds, Louis lays back on the blanket. He forces himself to breathe, to calm down, to swallow the lump choking in his throat.

He lays there a long time, hours, just thinking to himself.

When the sky turns a pretty orange, he finally rolls up the blanket and climbs back down.

Clementine and AJ are sitting and talking at one of the tables when he comes out.

She spots him, quickly standing with such a devastatingly hopeful look that Louis about loses it.

All he can do is shake his head.

---

For the past week, in between the usual have-to's of surviving, they've been preparing for the wedding.

Ruby has transformed the music room with the help Tenn and AJ, who both drew and cut out white and gold hearts to tape all over the walls, as well as other various decorations.

Aasim has taken his role of the 'marriage officiant' rather seriously. When he wasn't helping Ruby, he was jotting down everything he planned to say during the ceremony.

Omar spent his extra time helping the kids out with their decorations, as well as preparing a centerpiece for the serving table and thinking up ideas for the main course.

Mitch, James, and Willy spent the entire week together figuring out how to hook up the lights, and miraculously, they managed to get them to work. That one had left Ruby stunned, but elated.

Of course, Clementine and Louis weren't too involved, as per Ruby's request to keep pretty much everything a surprise. The most the two of them contributed were answers to what colors they wanted for this and what should they do with that.

As a result, they got stuck doing a lot more of the hunting and scavaging, but with that came more time together, just the two of them. As much as they both love AJ and enjoy his company, as well as the company of the others, it's nice to venture out from the walls of the school and be alone.

When it's just them out in the woods, hunting or fishing -when Louis allows it- or just resting against some of the protruding boulders laying around, it's different.

They really did work well together, in more ways than one. With Clementine in charge of the bow and Louis on walker look-out and trap duty, they got plenty done in a short amount of time.

Well, plenty done in between their conversations, flirtations, and stolen kisses, of course.

And, when they weren't together or hanging out with the others, they were writing their vows.

Well, Clementine was.

Louis mostly just stared at an empty piece of paper before growing frustrated and putting it off some more.

As for Violet...

She's taken to sleeping in Tenn's room every night, but, surprisingly, she'd began spending most of the days sitting outside. She'd place herself at one of the unoccupied tables and silently write in her little journal, the one Aasim had given her. Whenever someone came out, whether that be Omar coming out to cook, or Mitch and James with their tote of lights, or even Clementine and Louis preparing to go on a hunt, she always watched them. Not noticeably, and not with vexation.

Louis and Clementine had overheard Ruby asking her if she wanted to help decorate the walls. Violet had declined, but not sourly.

Louis wanted to go over there himself, but Clementine stopped him.

He hates it, but they both agreed it's best to give her space until after the wedding and after the excitement dies down. He couldn't keep throwing himself down on his hands and knees begging Violet to be apart of this.

Shit, he's just happy to see her outside so much.

Then, the evening finally comes where Ruby's swinging their bedroom door open, bursting with excitement as she enters with the big news.

"How do ya feel about tomorrow?"

Tomorrow.

After waiting all week, it almost doesn't feel real.

Ruby continues to tell them that nearly everything's ready, with the exception of some lights from Mitch and the banner AJ and Tenn are working on.

After that, she confiscates their rings.

"Yer gonna need 'em off so ya can slip 'em back on when ya say 'I do,'" she explains before Louis can begin to protest.

Louis looks down at his hand with a small frown, as does Clementine. They'd be lying if they said they hadn't grown attached to wearing them over the past week, hadn't grown used to admiring them in the quieter moments.

The boys really did do a wonderful job on making them damn near perfect, and to have to take them off now? Well, it's understandable, and perhaps it'd feel more special if did so now.

Clementine's the first to slip hers off and put it in Ruby's palm, followed by Louis who now stares at his naked hand.

"This should go without saying but please don't lose them," Louis sighs.

"Oh, Lou, don't you worry about that. 'Sides, Mitch would have my hide if I did."

Then, Ruby turns to Clementine with a glint of eagerness in her eyes, who meets this gaze with a questioning one.

"Now, as ya know, it's bad luck ta see the bride before the weddin,' so Clem and I are gonna have a little girls night." Ruby then turns to Louis, who wears a look at dread at what's coming next. "And, Lou, I already talked ta Aasim, yer bunkin' with him tonight."

"But-"

"No buts! Clem's gotta try on clothes and that's even worse bad luck ta see her in her weddin' outfit the night before!"

"But-but-"

"And ya need ta work on yer vows anyway. I know ya don't got 'em done."

"But-"

"I'll come back in a while with the clothes and we can have some fun."

"But-"

"Louis."

Ruby's tone shuts him up.

---

Violet's head pounds lightly, the beginnings of a headache starting to creep up. She forces herself to chug the rest of her water bottle, grimacing at the stale taste clinging to her tongue.

Resting comfortably in Tenn's bed with her back against the wall, she rests her chin on her knees as she watches the younger boy work on the floor.

It's a long banner made from some sort of canvas cloth that he'd found in the old art room. The school used to decorate them for sporting events. 'GO TEAM!' and all that. Of course, Tenn isn't working on this for some stupid game.

From what she gathered, James had sketched on the banner for him, since they want it to look "fancy," and with paint - 'Antique Gold', if she remembers correctly - Tenn traced the cursive script carefully, desperately attempting to make it as neat as possible.

Louis & Clementine

Underneath that is a pair of gold-painted rings looped around each other, also drawn by James. Tenn had added little accents of swirls and flowers near the corners and edges, all done in white, black and gold paint.

When he first walked in, he appeared guilty, which Violet didn't like at all. He explained that it's too windy outside for him to work on the banner there, and he wanted to finish before the wedding tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Shit.

Then, he asked if that was okay, and she told him, "It's your room. You can do whatever you want."

That didn't stop him from occasionally glancing up at her, checking to make sure she didn't look mad.

She knows he doesn't want to upset her, doesn't want her to think he's shoving the wedding and its banner in her face.

But, the truth is, she doesn't feel upset.

To say it's confusing is putting it mildly.

As fucked as it is... she actually feels left out.

That's a feeling and a thought that had really fucked with her head. It's not like she had asked to help and then they turned her away.

No, several times this week Ruby has asked if she wanted to help and she turned her down every single time.

Ever since she and Clementine talked, things have been fucked.

"I don't want to fight with or avoid you anymore. I- ...I really miss you, Vi."

Violet was happy to spend the rest of her days in the shadows of the school, hiding away from almost everyone. Well, shit, okay she wasn't happy but she accepted it.

It was easier that way.

Then, Clementine just had to come and try to patch things up, reopen the flood gates and make Violet remember why she had liked her so damn much in the beginning.

"I'll never let anyone take you again. We're family."

It's fucked, and she hates it.

Then, there's Louis who had come to her with good intentions, brought her to her favorite place and made her laugh like no one else could.

Louis, who had opened himself up to her again, like he always does. Louis, who had grabbed her hand and poured everything out to her, all with complete honesty, raw emotion.

Louis, the only one besides Tenn to continuously stay by her side after the delta.

Louis, who's getting married tomorrow.

And she couldn't just congratulate him and move on.

That's what a real friend would've done. Someone who isn't fucked up, selfish, or so stuck in her own mind that she can't help but hide behind her wall. A real friend would've found a way to climb up and over and hug her friend, especially after everything he's done for her, despite all the pain.

But, no...

Violet just... had to be Violet.

And she wishes she could be anything but.

"I love you, Violet, and whether or not you feel the same, we're family. We're all we have left. You don't have to hide from us- any of us. We miss you."

Why did she have to get so goddamn angry? Why did she have to throw around the same arguments, despite knowing deep inside her that they're bullshit?

Why did she have to nearly bring Louis to tears - fuck - because she couldn't control everything that had built itself up inside of her over the years?

No, it's not all Clementine's fault.

No, they wouldn't have been better off leaving her and AJ in the woods.

No... that wasn't the Minerva she fell in love with.

That Minerva died a long time ago.

But, none of those things take away the pain, the absolute terror of what happened.

None of those things make it any easier to forgive.

...As much as she wants to, to forgive Clementine, the trepidation prevents herself from doing so.

"Ruby and Clem are having a sleepover," Tenn says suddenly, breaking Violet of her thoughts. He sticks his brush in the can and rubbing the paint off his hand. "Ruby said you could go, too, if you want."

And with those words, Violet finds herself enervated.

"She said they're picking out what Clem's gonna wear. It might be fun."

Fun...

"Is AJ coming over here?"

"Y-yeah..." Tenn sullenly looks down at the floor. "You don't have to leave i-if you don't want."

"No, it's okay," Violet reassures him. "Really."

She could sleep in her room tonight. She's bothered the young boy long enough with her overstay.

Just as she's about to leave, Tenn stands, approaching her with his fingers pressed together anxiously.

"Are... are you going tomorrow?"

Something sharp, something painful twists in her gut.

After all the hurtful things she said to Louis... said to Clementine, was she even allowed to attend?

...Did she want to?

"Everyone'll be there, and it wouldn't be perfect without you, Vi. You know that, right?"

"...I don't know."

"I-I'll go with you," Tenn says hopefully. "We can sit together and everything. It really looks nice in there and-and James helped me draw a portrait of them. It's hanging over the fireplace."

She doesn't answer him.

What could she possibly say?

---

Louis' sullen face worries her.

Clementine knows he's not happy about having to spend to the night completely apart. Honestly, she's not thrilled about it either.

This'll be the first time in two years that they won't be sleeping in the same room together. Shit, even when they got into petty fights they still slept in the same bed.

The one comforting thing about this is that neither of them will be alone. She'll be with Ruby and he'll have Aasim. And, when the night's over and the sun rises, it'll be their wedding day. That's enough to make it all worth it, she thinks.

Louis lets out a long, groan mixed sigh. He's sat at the edge of their bed hugging one of his pillows to his chest with a pout on his lips.

She sits beside him, her arm sneaking around his shoulders to comfort him.

"You're gonna be okay," she smiles.

"I dunno," Louis frowns, tone taking a sarcastic turn. "Cuddling with Aasim sure won't be the same as cuddling with you."

That gets a laugh out of her.

"Didn't realize you two were planning that," she teases.

"We're not, but hey, things happen. Might mistake him for you again."

"Again?"

"The morning he came to wake me up to hunt Bambi, I was still half asleep and thought he was you," Louis shrugs. "We held hands."

She laughs harder now, which kills his pout, just a bit. He shakes his head and chuckles with her.

"Aasim failed to mention that part."

"I don't think he liked it very much."

There's banging on the door. Ruby pushes it open with her hip, hands full with a box of clothes.

"Alright, Lou, yer officially kicked out."

A deep, heavy sigh escapes him as he stands from the bed. "Fine, fine. I'm going."

He tosses his bag over his shoulder and tucks both pillows under his arm. He heads out with Clementine close behind. They stop just after the doorway to share a final, tight hug.

"Sleep tight," he murmurs.

Clementine pulls back and rests her palm against the warmth of his cheek. "You, too. Try not to give Aasim too many gray hairs, okay?"

"No promises," he chuckles. He presses a light kiss against her forehead. "Try not to get too crazy."

"You know I can't promise that," she smirks against his chest. "Ruby's quite the party animal."

"Ruby can hear ya!"

"Don't keep her up too late!" Louis peeks back into the room. "Don't know if you've heard, but she's got a big day tomorrow."

"Oh, I know it!"

Louis lets out another deep sigh, forcing a smile down at his bride to be. She leans up on her toes to give him a final kiss, lingering close even when they break away.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely."

---

"Watch your step. These stairs are pretty steep."

Mitch turns to make sure James has a hold of the railing before heading down into the darkness of the basement. He flicks on his flashlight, bathing the room in a soft light.

With the wedding being tomorrow and still having to fix up the rest of the lights, Mitch admitted to himself that he wouldn't be able to finish it by himself. James was happy to volunteer since it's Willy's turn for lookout tonight.

Mitch didn't mind seem to mind his company, and for that, James is grateful.

"Alright, so I got these left," he says, pulling out four pristine boxes of white string lights, setting them on the workbench. He pulls up another stool, adjusting it to be taller for the other boy. "Here."

"Thank you." James gets comfortable, squinting through the darkness and silently wondering how Mitch plans to work with the lack of light. Then, as if answering his thought, Mitch hands him the flashlight and pulls out a pack of matches.

"Shit, where- ah-ha," Mitch lifts an oil lamp. With a flick of his wrist, the match is lit, then the lamp. He places it between them, close to the wall. Rubbing his hands together, he says, "'Kay, just need'ja to hold the light where I need it and we'll have these done in no time."

"Okay."

He gets straight to it, pulling up the first box.

Mitch is fascinating to watch work, James decides.

Prior to this week, he'd only spoken to with him briefly in the times he stayed, but nothing more. He wasn't one for extended conversation until something was happening, something that he felt strongly about. Something he could get angry about, or get his hands dirty with. Otherwise, Mitch mostly kept to himself, always tinkering with something and grumbling to himself.

"Shine it a little closer," Mitch mumbles. "Riiiight... there- okay."

James had noticed a lot of things throughout the week.

Like how hyper-focused he can get while working on his various projects, and how he never half-asses anything. He gets frustrated, curses worse than any sailor on the seven seas when something fails, but that only seems to motivate him to do it right the next time.

Which is the case with the lights.

The first ones they tested, the "ugly" heart lights, didn't work. They'd been cramped up in that box so long that the wires had become faulty, making them mostly useless.

Mitch cursed, then grabbed another set of lights and tried again, and again, and again until they finally lit.

Then his profanities were ones made out of joy.

The best part, James decided, was watching his and Willy's eyes light up brighter than the lights themselves, the two high-fiving and fist bumping. Then, Mitch ruffled the boy's hair and sent him off to get the other batteries they had charging in the sun.

It intrigues him, knowing he and Willy are so close.

Willy doesn't keep anything to himself, even when he should, and that seems to be the polar opposite of Mitch, who never shares anything truly personal. The deepest thing he's learned about Mitch in the two years he's known him is his passionate hate for Almond Joys.

James supposes that the two share a deeper bond than one could see on the surface, given how long they've known and survived this world together.

What's still a mystery for him is Mitch's fondness for Clementine.

From what he's been told, after the tragedy of AJ taking another boy's life, the two were anything but friendly.

However, upon her return and the agreement that their lives and safety were the highest priority, they pushed their differences aside to work together and their friendship somehow sprouted and grew out of forgiveness, trust, and understanding.

It's nothing romantic, of course. That's easy enough to see. If it were, James rationalizes, then undoubtedly Mitch wouldn't be so passionate about preparing for this wedding; spending days perfecting their wedding rings, dusting and setting up the music room for Clementine's proposal, helping AJ and Tenn build the wedding arbor, modifying old holiday lights to work after they've lived without electricity for years.

Perhaps he finds it humanizing for someone like Mitch, or rather the person he initially thought him to be, to form such a connection to Willy and Clementine.

Then again, James has only known him a short while, and in that short time, he decides that he does like Mitch, oddly enough. Despite most of their conflicting views on things such as the walkers, he finds him enjoyable to be around, interesting to watch.

"Shit," Mitch jerks his chin towards James' arm. "Tape."

James tears off a chunk of the sticky black tape while trying to balance the flashlight. Mitch takes it, going back to work.

Soon enough, the pretty glow of the lights surrounds them.

"Fuck yeah!" Mitch smirks.

Hm.

Mitch has a dimple on his right cheek. The shadows of the basement accentuate it.

"One down," he flips them off, "three to go."

He carefully coils the lights up, sticking them atop their battery and pushing them aside. As he tears open another box, he says, "To think, Ruby still wants to use those nasty ass candles."

"Candles do have a romantic appeal."

"Gross."

James raises a curious brow at him. "You say that a lot," he says, attempting to study his expression.

"Say what?"

"Gross. You call a lot of things gross."

"Probably because they are," Mitch shrugs. "The candles, the wedding, it's all gross."

"Why?"

"Huh?" Mitch finishes untangling the lights, holding up the plugin.

"Why are they gross?" he repeats.

"Well," Mitch starts, "first off, Clem and Louis are pretty gag-inducing with their 'oh Darling!' and 'oh, Lou-Lou!'"

He's never once heard the name "Lou-Lou" come from Clementine, but for some reason, it's an amusing image that makes him grin.

"They're always kissing in front of us, too," Mitch wrinkles his nose. "I don't know if they think we don't see it but we do, and it's gross. And I still think this whole wedding thing is unnecessary."

"Really?" That's a surprise. "Then why are you so eager to help?"

The question seems to catch him off guard. "I-I'm not eager, I just- If they're so hellbent on having a wedding, stupid or not, might as well make the most of it. Besides, gives me something to do. More light."

James brings the flashlight closer.

After a beat of silence, Mitch mumbles, "Everyone's pretty pumped about it, too. Little more."

James scoots closer, giving him more light.

"There- ...uh, and, I dunno. Clem's excited, so..."

"She is," James nods. "You're happy for her?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Your support is important to her."

"...Whatever."

Another thing James has come to notice: Mitch doesn't like to let off like he cares. Which is curious, indeed.

He also realizes that they're actually holding a conversation rather than just sharing a few words here and there, which is exciting. So, he decides to try pushing, just a bit.

"I think it's wonderful," he says quietly. "It brings hope. Proves that love can still exist."

Mitch scoffs. "Don't need a wedding to prove that."

"Maybe not, but if that's how they want to express it, why not let them?"

"Not saying they can't," Mitch frowns. "Just saying it don't mean much these days. Really, what changes? Now they get to call each other husband and wife? You can do that without the big wedding."

"You seem very opposed to this for someone who's been helping out so much."

"Well, that- I just- uh." His hands hesitate as if forgetting what they're working on. He pulls back, brows knitted and mouth frowning. "I'm not opposed."

Something strange occurs in his mind, something he's almost afraid to ask. James bites his tongue, figuring the question may make Mitch defensive or hostile.

"Lemme put it this way," Mitch finally says. "Just 'cause it's not something I'd ever do, don't mean that I'm not gonna help them out any way I can, okay? I mean, if anyone's gonna survive all this bullshit and get their 'happy ending,' or whatever, it'd be them, even if it's a huge fucking risk. So, give it to 'em, y'know? That answer your question?"

In a way, it does, but...

"Risk?"

"Either one of them could die at any time, same for any of us."

"Yes."

"And doing this, falling in love and getting married'll only make it hurt worse."

"You'd never get married?"

"No."

"Not even if you fell in love?"

"Pfft," he scoffs.

"What?"

Now, Mitch almost looks amused. "And who exactly am I gonna fall in love with?" he almost asks sarcastically, rhetorically, but James decides to take it as a serious question, pondering on an answer.

"I don't know. Perhaps Ruby?"

Like that, all amusement is gone when Mitch scrunches up his nose and shoots James a distasteful look. "Ruby? Are you fucking serious?"

James is a little offended at his tone."Why not? She's very sweet."

"And bossy, nosy, loud, and she's always throwing stuff at me, or threatening to hit me with wooden spoons. And she has a hissy-fit whenever I try to go to the greenhouse."

"She's also got a big heart, and she's very pretty."

Mitch says nothing to that.

"Don't you think?"

"Dude, I dunno. I don't look at her like that."

Well, he supposes that's fair. While he can't say he approves of Mitch's choice of words regarding the girl, he's understanding that the feelings just aren't there.

"I don't want that shit, anyway."

"Excuse me?" James frowns deeply.

"No- fuck, I'm not talking about Ruby. I mean that gross love shit in general."

"Oh."

Well, that's somewhat of a relief.

Mitch goes back to work on the lights, flipping the switch to the battery. The glow is back as they turn on. Without any enthusiastic words, he turns them off and grabs the next box.

As he's pulling the lights out, he mumbles, "I just don't think it's worth it. Not for me, anyway."

"What?"

"Love like that."

James' curiosity is piqued. "How so?"

Mitch doesn't answer right away, and James gets the feeling that he's debating on whether or not he really wants to. But, as he's detangling the lights, he says, "You weren't here when we first lost the twins."

James holds the light up again, listening.

Mitch sighs. "Y'know, Minnie? The one who was on the delta? She tried to fuck us over?"

"Clementine told me about her, yes."

"Back before- like, years before Clementine and AJ got here, she and Violet had a thing."

Then, strangely, as he's saying the words, he watches James as if looking for something. A change in his expression, a reaction of some sort. Of what kind, he's not sure.

"I mean, they got together. As a couple. Girlfriends."

"Right, that's what Clem said. Then, Minerva and Sophie got kidnapped."

"...Right. Yeah, uh, so," Mitch puts the lights down. "Um, they were really into each other. And, after Marlon told us the twins died, Violet shut down."

"She was heartbroken."

"Fuck, more than that. She was fucking destroyed. Not even Louis could cheer her up for the longest time. It got better after a while, but she never did herself any favors. Everything was always, 'Minnie used to do this,' or 'Minnie would've liked that,' or whatever else. It was..." Mitch shakes his head. "...fucking pathetic."

"That's-" James finds a swell of agitation forming in his gut. "That's terrible to say."

"But, it's true," Mitch argues. "She's worse now, too. I didn't think that was possible, but yeah, ever since the delta Violet's just been nothing but a real bi-"

"Mitch," James warns.

"Fuck," he closes his eyes, "Yeah, I know. But it doesn't change the fact that she should just get over it. Minnie died a long time ago. That bitch on the boat? That wasn't her."

"You weren't there-"

"I didn't need to be," Mitch scowls. "I know all about it. Violet betrayed us because she couldn't get over the dead girl she fell in love with. And it's not Clementine's fault, none of it is, so she shouldn't still be so pissed. Whatever those assholes did to them couldn't have been that bad. They all came back in one piece."

James is glaring now, he's sure.

Mitch notices.

"Do you truly believe that nothing happened to them?"

"They're alive, aren't they?"

"And you think losing someone you love is that easy to get over? You've never had those feelings for anyone, have you?"

Something strange dances in Mitch's eyes, his glare wavering ever so slightly. He jerks himself to face forward, breaking the eye contact they held.

"...No."

"I see," James nods. "Explains why you don't understand. What it's like to lose someone you're romantically involved with, I mean."

"What's there to understand?" Mitch forces out stiffly. "It's like losing anyone close to you. It sucks for a while and then you get over it. Life goes on."

They're silent, tense.

This certainly wasn't where James wanted to steer the conversation, and now he's not entirely sure how he feels about the boy beside him. For someone who did indeed have genuine kindness in him, he spoke so heartlessly, so ignorantly.

"Do you think Clementine and Louis are doomed to that sort of fate?"

"Like I said, if anyone's gonna survive, it's them. But, yeah, eventually one of them will die, it'll hurt, and then they'll either shut down or move on"

Another period of uncomfortable silence fills the air between them. James shifts the flashlight to his other hand after his arm's cramped up from holding it too tightly.

"I'm never gonna be like that," Mitch finally says. "I'm not gonna let myself be like Violet. I'm not taking the risk."

"You think you can help that?"

"Yeah," he says firmly. "I'm not... built that way."

Even through his agitation, he finds that to be an odd thing to say.

He thinks back on Mitch's words, his attitude towards the topic of their conversation. James finds his heart slow, but hard and heavy. Something builds up inside of him when he turns to peer through the darkness at Mitch's sullen face. He finds that he wants to make Mitch understand, see this conversation in a new light.

He makes a decision and reaches into his pocket.

"Can I show you something?"

Mitch doesn't physically react, but his eyes dart towards him, his expression unreadable.

Still, even without an answer, James pulls out the photo still stuck in the plastic holder. He places it on the table between them, watching Mitch as he does.

Mitch blinks down at the photo before turning to face him again, waiting for an explanation.

"This is me," James says, pointing at the younger, smiling version of himself before sliding his finger over, "and this is Charlie."

Mitch follows, listening.

"He-" Already, James has to correct himself before even speaking the words, "-was my boyfriend."

Immediately, Mitch freezes, eyes growing wide and lips parting in a silent gasp. His fists, still wrapped around the lights, tighten.

A little thrown off by such a visible reaction, he continues, nonetheless.

"We survived together, just the two of us, for a long time. Eventually, we joined the Whisperers in order to stay alive and... everything got worse from there. He wasn't the Charlie I fell in love with anymore, but I kept holding on to him, telling myself that it's okay because I've changed, too. Those people... us- we..."

James swallows thickly, his eyes falling shut.

"...I left, and I don't know what became of him. He could still be alive out there, or he could be dead. I don't know. But, losing him, the real him, was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced and it wasn't some that I could just 'get over.' It's an easy thing to say, but what it comes down to it, it's not something that'll ever go away. I'll never 'get over' Charlie, just like how Violet will never 'get over' Minerva. So, what you're saying is foolish, sprouted from ignorance."

Mitch is silent, unmoving, still staring at the photo.

"Talking like that will only do more damage than good-"

"You- you need to leave."

The words are harsh but bitten back, like they're trying to hide something true, something dark.

"What-?"

"I'll finish by myself." Mitch snatches the flashlight away from him. "Just... fucking go."

A sharp blade of ice seemingly swipes through him, leaving him staggered. An ache, all too familiar, tightens his heart and drops to his gut at the coldness of Mitch's tone, his eagerness to get rid of him.

And that rejection, one he's no stranger to, cuts deep, tender and painful.

Silently, pitifully, James takes his photo and pockets in, gaze falling to the floor. The stool scrapes against the uneven floor, breaking the silence with an eery wince. Mitch doesn't look at him, he doesn't say anything, he just continues to stare forward without any acknowledgment, as if he and James hadn't just shared the personal conversation that they did.

As he's treading up the stairs, James takes note of what else he noticed about Mitch.

He undoubtedly knew how to be cruel.

---

Aasim's room is much different than Louis remembers.

It's freshly picked up with books stacked neatly along the shelves of a short bookcase. His desk is clean with a can of dull pencils and pens resting upon it. There's an astronomy poster hanging above his bed, one Louis remembers being in the old science lab. The other bed, Louis' bed for the night, is where Aasim seems to keep all his spare clothes folded, as well as some of the larger books that won't fit on his shelf.

Aasim's quick to move everything off the bed for him, tucking things in drawers and his closet.

Louis tosses his pillows onto the mattress and plops down with a huff.

"Dude, I still have to write my vows."

"Always waiting 'til the last minute," Aasim mumbles. "Here." He pulls out the chair of his desk and begins filing through one of the drawers. "Where-ah." He sets a notebook down on the desk before moving to his bed. "You can work on it there."

"Thanks, man."

Tossing the pillows aside, Louis sits down, lights the candle placed in the corner, and tries to find a sharp enough pencil to write with. He plucks a blue one with little cartoon cats on it out of the can. He can't believe he's about to write his wedding vows for the woman he loves with this, but it's a little better than the one that says 'SAY NO TO DRUGS! SAY NO TO DRUGS!'

A little.

"You nervous?" Aasim asks while kicking off his boots.

"Like I'm gonna vomit," Louis answers honestly.

He chuckles a little at that. "You're not gonna vomit."

"What if I'm standing up there, giving my amazingly romantic vows and I just throw up and then that makes her throw up? Then, you'll definitely throw up because you have a weak stomach and then Ruby'll be so pissed that she throws up and then there's just puke everywhere-"

"Dude," Aasim grabs a pillow to smack him with, "Stop. You're only digging yourself deeper into that nightmare hole. Climb out."

"I'm just saying."

"You won't throw up. You're just nervous."

"Oh, is that what this feeling is? And here I thought I caught a stomach bug."

Aasim rolls his eyes. "It's okay to be to have pre-wedding jitters. Before you know it, tomorrow'll be here and you and Clem will be married and dancing."

"And you'll be dancing with Ruby?"

"No."

"Right! Sorry, I meant James-"

"Louis," Aasim warns. "I already told you, I never had a thing for James. Drop it."

"Yeah, yeah," Louis waves his hand. "I know. I promised Clem I wouldn't tease you so much tonight. I'll drop it for now." Then, he points at the bed. "You don't have to wait up for me. I'll probably just say here all night trying to figure out what to say."

"Say what you feel."

"Oh, just like that, huh?"

"Seriously. It doesn't have to be long or poetic. Keep it short and sweet."

"Short and sweet," mumbles Louis. "Yeah, okay."

Aasim doesn't say anything else. Instead, he grabs a book off his shelf and lays down in his bed to read.

Louis briefly wonders if that's what he does every night, but doesn't bother asking. He has more important things to think about.

The blank page is intimidating, so Louis jots down his thoughts as they come to him. He crosses out ones that he doesn't like and makes little notes and adds onto the ones he does.

Eventually, he hears Aasim yawn and shut the book. He grumbles a "good-night" before turning over with a sigh.

His weariness catches up with him hours into the night as he tries and tries again to write his vows. He doesn't know how many pages he goes through re-wording and rewriting it, but with every sentence, he finds his eyes dropping and his limbs becoming heavier.

Soon, after nearly finishing what he had to say, his cheek rests against the notebook as sleep takes him.

---

She can hear Ruby's delighted giggles, muffled by the door. The wood creaks, wincing beneath her as she shifts her weight from foot to foot.

Violet can't distinguish what they're actually saying. How could she? All she can hear is the pulsating beat of her heart thumping in her ears, heavy but accelerating the longer she stares at the door.

No matter what she does, no matter how much she tightens her fists, Violet's hands won't stop shaking. The tremors run up her arms and down her legs, nearly buckling her knees, but she refuses to collapse. They would certainly hear and find her pathetically curled up into a ball at their feet.

Violet squeezes her eyes shut, forcing herself to breathe in deep through her nose.

Raising her fist up only sends more trembles down her arm, weakening her down to the bone. Her palms ache from the sharp nails bitten into the tender flesh, leaving a sore redness and imprints ready to split.

Get over yourself.

Just knock on the fucking door.

More giggling.

Clementine's voice.

So pleased, so light.

Her chin quivers, so she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. She doesn't know what's louder; her short, gasping breaths, or the pounding of her searing heart.

Louis asks her for one thing. One fucking thing.

And she can't.

She can't do it.

Her arm falls weakly back to her side, defeated and piteous.

What did she expect, really?

To knock on the door and be invited in with welcome arms? To sit down with Clementine and Ruby and fawn over what Clementine would wear to her wedding? To talk about how much she fucking loved Louis and how she can't wait to start a new chapter of their lives together? To pretend that everything's okay between them and they're best friends again? That the forgiveness is mutual?

And Clementine would ask her to be her maid-of-honor and to hold her bouquet for her as she and Louis swear their vows to each other and kiss and live their happily ever after in this shithole of a world?

...She can't do it.

She just can't.

---

Clementine hadn't ever changed her clothes so many times in one night. None of the dresses Ruby had gathered up fit her, all way too small. They had better luck trying on blouses ranging from ones with lots of ruffles to plain t-shirts that wore long on her.

"Whatta 'bout this one?"

Ruby holds up a baby blue one with short sleeves and lace at the bottom. When Clementine pulls it on, it fits well.

"Oh, that's sweet," Ruby admires. "It'd count fer yer somethin' blue, too."

They add it to the 'yes' pile.

Over their time together, a total of four shirts end up in that pile. She decides that she'll make her final decision tomorrow since it's getting late.

They end up closing the window when the night breeze comes in particularly cold, saying their goodnights with Clementine alone in her bed and Ruby on the top bunk opposite of her.

Absently, her hand reaches out beside her. The bed feels much bigger than it usually does. She has so much room to spread herself out comfortably but still ends up on her usual side.

She can't help it. She misses him and his warmth beside her.

On any other normal night, after spending the day apart, one of them would creep into the room and get in bed and they'd be together again, ready to cuddle and sleep. Now, it feels like she's taken that for granted.

Perhaps this is good, she thinks. Like the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

How she could grow fonder of Louis, she didn't know.

She lays there a long time, her mind buzzing with the excitement of what's to come, as well as thinking what the future may hold, good and bad. Though, she tries not to dwell on the bad. Most of her life had been spent dwelling on threats and concerns.

Now, she gets to experience something like this, like it wasn't the end of the world.

So, she pushes all those dark thoughts, the ones of death, of Violet's hatred, of Louis' guilt, AJ's traumas, all out of her mind and images herself seeing Louis waiting for her in the music room... ready to take her hand.

Clementine's eyes fall shut, this time, remaining that way. She tries to calm her nerves, allowing her own exhaustion to wash over her, relax her body. She tries to think of nothing, tries counting sheep.

Eventually, sleep takes her.

---

The trees all look the same, flashing by one after the other in a blur of desaturated greys and browns. The grass is tall, much more overgrown than it usually is. If Clementine were to stretch her leg out it surely would tickle her ankles and feet. Leaves of various hues swirl around in the air as if dancing together.

The constant hum of the train's wheels running on the track is soothing. It vibrates through her body as she rests against the frame opening. Her legs swing relaxed as her fingers absently drum on her knee.

Clementine closes her eyes and breathes in the scent of wood and sun-dried grass. She doesn't fight the tranquil smile tugging at her lips. Strips of sunlight leak through the cracks between the trees, warming her cheeks as they pass.

"Something big is happening, isn't it?"

Her smile grows.

Lee sits down beside her, shifting to get comfortable.

"Been a long time," he says. "I was starting to think you forgot about me."

Clementine peeks an eye open to peer at him. "You?" She shakes her head. "Never."

He quirks a brow with a matching grin. Clementine scoots away from the frame and closer to the man beside her. He wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders as the two watch the nature fly by.

She can't contain the glee growing inside of her as she looks up at him.

"You're never going to believe it, Lee."

Lee chuckles. He admires the abundance of trees and falling leaves. He reaches out and snatches a large, yellow one. He pinches and twirls it's stem between his fingers as he asks, "It's a good thing?"

"A very good thing."

"Don't hear very many good things these days," he says. He catches another fallen leaf, sticking it with the yellow one. "Don't see very many smiles like that, either."

Clementine lightly touches her cheek, sore from the straining grin. Her skin is warm, flustered.

Lee catches more leaves, sticking and rearranging them together. "So, what's made you so happy, Sweet Pea?"

"I'm getting married."

Lee's brows raise in shock. "Married?" he asks. "Little young for that, aren't you?"

"In this world?" she smirks. "I don't think I'm too young for a lot of things."

Lee scoffs. "Oh, yes you are."

Clementine laughs, a sweet melody that warms the air. She leans closer into him as a red leaf gets stuck against her leg. She plucks it up and admires its vivid color.

"Married..." Lee mumbles to himself. "Wow. How did you get so grown up?"

"I didn't really have a choice." She lets the leaf go. It flies out and disappears with the rest.

"No, you didn't..." Lee nods to himself. "It's Louis, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"He's a good kid."

"He's..." Clementine laughs. "He's amazing, Lee. You'd really like him."

He nods, thoughtfully. "Well," he says, "I can't hate anybody who can make you smile like that. And AJ likes him?"

"AJ loves him."

"Good," Lee grins. "That's good to hear. The two of them are quite a pair, I assume?"

"You have no idea."

Lee chuckles. "And, everyone else?"

"They've worked so hard on the music room," she tells him. "Ruby, Tenn, and AJ have been decorating all week, and Mitch made our rings. He made them, him and Willy! Out of quarters! And Aasim, he's going to marry us, and Omar's going to cook and-" Clementine stops.

Something strange curls in her gut. A tingle runs along her neck.

"What's wrong?" Lee asks.

"I..." she closes her eyes and rests her head against his shoulder, "I just... I am happy, Lee. So happy and excited, but," she weakly shakes her head, "what if something happens?"

"Like what?"

"This kind of happiness, it-it doesn't last in our world anymore. It's never lasted for me, at least." The air becomes cooler, raising goosebumps along her skin. "Sometimes, I think that life at the school, with Louis and AJ and everyone else, is just too good to be true. We're happy now, but what if that changes? What if something happens and we lose more people? What if... what if something bad happens between Louis and me?"

"What if, what if..." Lee gives her a comforting smile. "You'll drive yourself crazy if all you think about are the 'what ifs'. You can't predict everything that's coming, just like how you can't go back and prevent the past."

"I know. It's just," she murmurs, "I can't help but think about Louis looking at me one day and thinking about all the terrible things I've done and... realizing that he can't love someone like me."

Lee's silent.

Then, he hands her a leaf, a green one.

"You really believe that?"

She doesn't answer.

"Tell me something, Clementine," he says. "Louis has done bad things, hasn't he? Both before and after the world ended?"

"Yes."

"Do you hate him for those things?"

"No," she shakes her head. "It's different. His bad things don't compare to mine. I've hurt so many people, Lee. Good people. Just so that I could survive, or to protect AJ, protect both of us."

"Does Louis know of these things?"

"Not all of them."

Lee goes quiet again. He closes his eyes and lowers his head.

"Do you remember when I told you about what I did? Why I was in the police car the day we first met?"

"Yes."

"Did you hate me? After you found out?"

"Of course not."

Lee smiles, just a bit. "I did a lot of bad things, too, Sweet Pea. We've all done bad things; you, me, AJ, Louis... it's this world that makes us do things we never would've done before."

She reaches out and grabs his hand. "It scares me," her voice is barely above a murmur, "I don't want him to look at me like-" she swallows thickly, "-like Violet does."

"Violet's different," he says. "She's still in a lot of pain, just like Louis. Like you. We all handle it differently, whether it's keeping it bottled up, covering it with a smile and a laugh, or hiding away from everyone. But, just because you see their pain doesn't mean you understand it. How many nights have you had to hold Louis because of his nightmares? And, how often do you wonder why? Why does it still haunt him?"

"He didn't mean to kill that lady," she says. "But, he was also justified. She would've killed him if he didn't react."

"He doesn't see it that way, though, does he? It's something that you may never come to understand, Clementine. Just like how you may never fully understand why Violet feels the way she does. Or, why AJ gets spooked so easily when someone comes up behind him. But, that doesn't mean you give up on them." Lee hands her another leaf, this one red. "You still stay by their side, even when everything goes to hell. That's what family does."

Family...

"I don't know what I would do without them," she says. "I wish I could make it better. Take all that pain away."

"Can't tell you how many times I thought the same thing," Lee grins. "It's a tough world, but you're tougher and smarter. You'll always have AJ there by your side. And maybe one day Violet will open herself up again and you two can rebuild that trust. It'll be a rough and slow process, but maybe you'll even be friends again. As for Louis?" Lee chuckles, shaking his head. "That boy isn't going anywhere."

Clementine looks up at him.

"How can you be so sure?" she asks.

Lee turns his focus to the collection of leaves in his hand.

"Relationships aren't easy," he says slowly. "They never were, even before."

"I know."

"Both of you have a lot to carry. There'll always be that unknown territory between you. Whether you choose to explore it or leave it alone is up to you. You'll have bad days, and so will he. There'll be times where you two fight for little to no reason, times where you could just strangle him. A time may come where you're in trouble again, where you might get hurt or separated, lose someone else."

The green and red bleed out of her leaves, leaving them yellow. He plucks them from her fingers and adds to his collection.

"But, everything Mitch said before?" Lee squeezes her hand. "It's all true. After all you two have been through? There isn't a doubt in my mind that you will overcome anything this world throws at you."

Her eyes burn.

"That boy loves and trusts you, Clementine, and he's not going to leave you. It's okay to believe that."

The forest blurs.

"Thank you, Lee," she whispers.

Lee leans forward and waves his free hand like he's signaling someone. As the train whistles and comes to a stop, he grabs her shoulder to steady her. The forest is still before them and the grass is at its longest.

He hops down and offers her his hand.

"It's time, Sweet Pea."

She gives him a questioning look that he answers with a smile.

He helps her down. She's unsteady on her feet. The humming of the train still rattles through her body, buzzing in her ears. When she turns to Lee, lips parted and a question laying on her tongue, she's startled to find his usual blue shirt has been replaced.

He chuckles again with a shrug. "I used to clean up nice, you know."

His black suit is clean, untouched, untainted. His tie is perfectly straight and he's cleanly shaven. The multicolored leaves previously in his grasp are gone, replaced with a bouquet of yellow roses tied together by a white ribbon. His dark eyes soften when they lay upon her.

"Oh, just look at you..." he whispers.

Clementine cocks her head to the side, giving him a questioning look. He extends the bouquet to her, and when she grasps it, her gaze falls down to her sleeve.

White lace.

She glances down and gasps.

The dress is pure white. Beautiful lace and glittering details line her torso and fade down the silky material. Her hat is gone, allowing her curls to hang loosely over her shoulders. She runs her fingertips cautiously over the lustrous dress in disbelief. The silk glistens when the speckles of sunlight shine through the trees and hit her.

She meets Lee's warm, proud gaze. He offers her his arm.

"Ready?"

With a shaky breath, she grabs a hold of him.

They leave the train to walk through the forest at a comfortable pace. The leaves continue to fall around them. However, they've all turned that lovely shade of yellow.

"Lee?"

"Hm?"

Her grip on his arm tightens. "I wish you were really here."

He places his hand over hers.

"You're not supposed to cry those kinds of tears on your wedding day."

She doesn't even realize that she's crying until he says so. She wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand, careful not to poke herself with the roses or their stems.

"Oh, Clementine," Lee sighs. "I know it's hard, but look around you. You've found a place to call home, a family. I always wanted that for you, hoped you'd find it even after I left. Now, you finally have."

"But, you're still gone."

"I'm still gone," Lee nods. "And you're still alive."

The trees are starting to spread out more, making the path clearer. The grass has gone from long and dry to short, thick and dark green. The air's sweetly floral. Still, the leaves fall.

"You're alive, Clementine," he says again.

There's chatter, whispers. A hum of several voices, all cheerful, some laughing. The closer they walk, the louder they become.

And, behind all those voices, is the playing of a piano.

Her song.

Clementine.

Her heart beats hard, slow. Somehow, her throat's gone dry.

Lee gazes about, admiring the beauty surrounding them.

Soon, there's a gate ahead of them, stuck between two enormous trees. Thorny vines weave through the bars where more yellow roses sprout.

They stop just before it.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

She peeks through the openings of the gate.

Rows and row of white benches line the grass leading up to a set of white stairs. At the top is a stage with an arbor covered in dark green leaves and vibrant yellow roses. Off to the right is a grand piano that, oddly enough, has no one playing it, yet the keys play her song. On the left are several tables, all with white tablecloths and candles and roses as centerpieces. There's a long table filled with various desserts and a five-tier cake.

The benches are full of people, all talking with one another, all dressed in various hues of yellow.

When Lee pushes the gate open and they step through, the chatter immediately stops.

The piano goes quiet.

It's silent.

All together, they stand and turn.

Every single smiling face, she recognizes.

Her breath catches in her throat, and her eyes dart across the overwhelming rows of people rapidly. Her grip on the bouquet and Lee's arm tighten.

"Lee?" she gasps out.

"It's your special day," he grins. "Did you really think they'd miss it?"

The sun shines brightly through the trees now, lighting up the area, breathing life into it. The warmth pools in her belly and spreads through her veins. All eyes, all full of admiration and tenderness, are on her.

Lee steps forward, and by instinct, so does she. Her song begins to play again, faint, like a soft whisper. Down the aisle, they tread slowly. Her eyes dart from face to face, overwhelmed.

So many of them, all smiling at her; those from her previous groups, friends from before the world ended, mere acquaintances made during survival.

Luke and Nick stand side by side whispering to each other before Jane shushes them, motioning towards Clementine. She almost trips upon seeing them. All together, they proudly watch her walk past.

Sarah's practically jumping with glee, happily waving at Clementine and trying to catch her attention. Carlos places his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to keep his daughter still.

A lump forms in her throat.

She gasps at Christa and the baby in her arms. Omid beams, mouthing, 'Good luck!'

Duck waves at her with a smile far too big for his face. Katjaa wipes at her eyes with a tissue, sniffling. And Kenny, he reaches out to briefly touch her shoulder with a fond grin and a tender nod at her, then at Lee. His touch leaves a warmth that spreads down her arm. Her eyes become wet seeing the three of them holding each other again.

The Garcia's all take up one row with Javier standing the closest. He winks at her with a smirk, giving her a thumbs up. Clementine rolls her eyes at him playfully. Kate nudges Gabe and he shyly meets her gaze with a smile. David offers a solemn nod, but even he can't fight the tiny grin pulling at his lips.

She slows her walk to almost a stop when she sees Rebecca and Alvin. They both reach out to her and grasp her arm. 'Thank you,' they mouth. 'Thank you.' Clementine shakes her head, biting her lip to prevent her chin from quivering. Rebecca reaches around her and puts their foreheads together. 'Thank you.'

They let go, and Clementine continues down the aisle.

Lee chuckles again. He pats the hand on his arm and smiles at her. "It's crazy, isn't it?"

"That's-" She gives a heart filled laugh, sniffling and blinking back tears. "That's one way to put it." She looks up towards the sky where all the leaves still flutter and dance, swaying with the music. Her eyes fall upon the altar, and a wave of emotion rolls over her.

They're all there, lining up on either side of the steps.

Marlon, Mitch, Aasim, Omar, Tenn, James and Willy on the right.

Ruby, Brody, Sophie, Minerva, and Violet on the left.

All waiting for her to reach the stairs, all dressed in their respective matching suits and dresses.

She's ready to move forward, but Lee stops her. She turns to him, but he motions to her left.

And it's like all the air is knocked from her lungs and her heart's swelled fully in her chest.

Her mother and father stare back at her with tears in their eyes.

Lee lets her go.

Clementine rushes to them, throwing her arms over her mother's shoulders and holding on for dear life. She can't do anything but sob. Her father wraps himself around both of them. There's so much warmth surrounding her and it's hard to breathe. The rush of emotions is so overwhelming she thought they might cause her to implode, cease to exist.

When they pull away, her father's thumb wipes away her tears. And she laughs. She laughs and she cries. They say nothing, they only gaze upon her with love in their eyes. Her mother kisses both of her cheeks and holds her hands firmly, kissing them as well.

Words bubble in Clementine's throat, but refuse to come out. There's so much to say, so much she wants to tell them. But, they shake their heads and move back to their seats.

'It's time...'

Her mother and father turn their attention to Lee as he offers her his arm again. The gratitude, the affection they have for him is clear. Lee humbly gives a knowing nod.

She keeps her eyes locked with them, looking back even as they move forward. She can feel herself trembling, as if she may crumble if it weren't for Lee's hold keeping her together.

Violet steps down from her place on the stairs and catches Clementine's attention. She takes the bouquet from her, then she pulls her into a loving hug. Clementine melts into her, holding her back tightly. "Vi..."

They part with a smile, and Violet goes back to stand with Minerva, where they pull the ribbon off and pass around the roses, making sure everyone has one in their hands.

There's a giggle from the top of the stairs.

They turn to see AJ. He's dressed in his own suit with a yellow rose adorning it. He gleefully strides down the stairs in a hurry, jumping off the third to final step. He leaps at Clementine, holding her in a firm embrace.

AJ admires the glittering details of her dress before leaning over to wave at his mother and father. Clementine looks back, seeing both Rebecca and Alvin waving and tearfully laughing.

Lee lets go of Clementine to kneel down and fix AJ's twisted bowtie, earning another giggle from the young boy. Lee pinches his nose.

"Hey!" AJ laughs. He retaliates by pinching Lee back. That gets him a chuckle.

Clementine's lips curl into a warm smile as she watches the two laugh and hug one another.

There's something at the top of her peripheral sight. A small movement, just enough to catch her attention.

Louis stands at the top with a bright smile and when their eyes meet, everything stops; the leaves, the faraway murmuring, the piano. Nothing but a small, shuddering gasp escaping her lips.

His suit matches AJ's; black with a pale yellow tie and adorned with a rose. He ascends down the stairs one step at a time, never breaking their connected gaze, never losing his smile. The way he looks at her with so much love, like he can't get enough of her, takes away any lingering breath she has.

She steps forward to meet him as he moves off the final step. He reaches for her, and when their fingers curl together, it's like the sun lighting up within her.

Louis only breaks his loving gaze away to look at Lee as he approaches, his smile becoming a little nervous.

Lee eyes him, then he holds out his hand. Louis accepts it with great enthusiasm, giving him a firm handshake. But, Lee doesn't let go. Instead, he pulls him in for a tight hug, which Louis eagerly returns.

Lee, his expression calmed and content, turns back to Clementine.

"Good-bye, Sweet Pea."

Then, they're hugging again. She buries her face into his chest and does her best to contain the sobs forming threatening to spill over. "Good-bye, Lee..." she whispers.

She pulls away when AJ tugs on her dress.

She watches as Lee walks away, as he takes a seat next to her parents and gives her an encouraging smile.

"It's time."

When she turns back to Louis, he laces their fingers together once more while AJ grabs her other hand.

And together, they ascend up the stairs, hand in hand.

When they reach the top, AJ wanders away.

Now, Louis holds both her hands in his, and as she stares up at him, she can't help but lightly shake her head in disbelief.

"Louis..." she murmurs.

"Clementine." He pulls her closer until they're only breaths away. She can feel the warmth radiating off his entire being, soaking into her.

AJ approaches them again carrying a yellow silk pillow, and on it is the rings. Silver, freshly polished, and baring their initials.

C + L

Louis takes one and slips it onto her finger, and she does the same for him.

He cups her blushing cheeks.

"I do."

She feels her eyes fluttering shut.

"I do."

He kisses her.

And the world ceases to exist.

---

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x18 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

@purpleskiesandcherrypies and @dean-winchesters-baconwon’t be joining us for this one.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

+MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

Giulia: Ugh I’m already tired

Zee: Hold on. The torture just began

Giulia: I don t wanna see cas treated like that by dean. I can t

Zee: Mary!?

Giulia: Pah

D&S: Yo Mom? Jack?

Giulia: I already hate this. Searching for mum in the bunker. Awful.

D: They probably just stopped for a bite on the way back. You know how Mom get

me: 

Zee: Can I live there tho?

D: here's to another miraculous Sam Winchester’ survival. Got to say, man, if Jack hadn't have healed you...

D: You know, lately, it feels like we'd be up the creek without that kid.

me: 

S: Yep

D: I mean, first, he takes care of Michael and then...Nick.

-uh hu of course the cell is there

D: looks like they left in a hurry.

Giulia: Yeah Sam was gonna be dead and satan was coming back so....

Zee: Oh crap. There’s def something wrong

Oh my poor baby bean Jack

Giulia: it starting. Great AMAZING. Just what I needed at 8 am

Zee: Of course babe

Giulia: CAAAAAAS

C: Nick was trying to raise Lucifer?

Zee: Epic eye roll

Giulia: my epic roll

Castiel is like : my god what a drama queen, my family is a disgrace.

C: [jack and Mary] They’re together?

D: yeah

C: .....A-Alone?

D: Y-Yeah. W-Why do you  Yes, Cass, they were together, alone.

C: *sweats*

Giulia: Alone.  Oh bother

Zee: Silence

Giulia: Great. GREAT

Castiel in short : Jack killed Felix because he thought it was the merciful thing to do.

Zee: The snake

C: I don’t think Jack’s well, Dean.

-well good fucking morning fucking Vietnam

Zee: Sam’s eye squint 

Dean hangs up on Cass

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Zee: Focus babe

Giulia: no I’m already hating Dean, and I know what’s coming and I HATE IT.

Also...can I have Jack’s airline number

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA LOOK AT CASS SPELLED C-A-S-S . SUCK IT BITCHES.

I’m vibrating , I wanna hug Jack so much and tell him everything is gonna be alright, my baby...I’m so sorry no ONE IN THIS FUCKING SHOW FUCKING TALKS TO EACH OTHER.

A wilde Nick appears. 

Giulia: Fuck him

Zee: Careful with what comes out of your mouth

Red fucking eyes

Giulia: The fuck

J: that’s not possible, you’re-

N: Dead? Yeah alright you got me.I’m not Nick, I’m not Lucifer-

giulia: oh thank god

N: I’m you

Zee: What?

Giulia: That’s way worse thanks

Zee: Oh come the fuck on

Zee: Dying?

Giulia: STOP THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Zee: Actual pain

N: Buddy, you killed Mary Winchester. You cannot come back from that, and you know it.

Giulia: oh. And fuck Nick too

Zee: In my chest

Giulia: Fuck lucifer too

N: All right? You've been flapping your wings all around, trying to run away from what you did.

Zee: You won’t. You can’t

Giulia: U really can t

Zee: Tell Sam and Dean that

N: I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like family isn't everything to them.

Giulia: Can’t he just bring her back the fuck. That’s what happened alright. Mary got turned in ash again.

- AND also....like...it really was an accident, and ok maybe they would have a fucking hard time to accept that and maybe be mad , rightly so...but....y’all need to speak to each other. But then again....there would be no supernatural without family not speaking to each other.

I love how Sam says that Cass will be there too and he looks at Dean like....your bf is gonna be there you better be nice.

S: And -- And Jack -- I mean... he must have thought he was helping, you know, being kind.

Giulia: Thanks Sam

Zee: Dean is kinda fed up

Giulia: I’m not team Dean this time. Well he can stuff it i don t give a shit

Zee: Come on. Just wait.

Giulia: U ...snooped around didn’t ya?

Zee: No no. I’m also hoping he’s not an asshole I have faith

Giulia: That’s not your brain talking. Dean is an asshole, he’s my asshole, but he’s an asshole and that’s my heart talking, I don t even care.

Giulia: We ve been knew

Zee: Bold of you to assume I have one

Also...I’m kinda worried that Dean was already thinking about the box at this point.

D: We don't know that he doesn't have a soul!

I mean from this sentence alone....he thinks that he could have done that with or without his soul.

Zee: BBQ nick

Giulia: GREAT, DEAN....TOUCH THE ASH, AMAZING.

Zee: More than bbq Mary

Giulia: you mean “SMOKED MARY”

too soon?

Giulia: aw bb

Giulia: oh wow gotta love that empty fucking stare on Castiel. that looks so good. amazing . 10/10

Zee: Yeah. Cas is ok

Giulia: AW

C: I could heal you. If you'll let me.

M: I’m okay

Zee: Let him bitch

C:Are you still afraid of me?

*gasps*

M: Maybe a little

*GASPS*

Giulia: why, what’s your problem with instant healing?

Zee: The sad smile tho

Giulia: Listen-

Giulia: I’m hurting MY BABY, HOW IN THE HELL COULD YOU BE AFRAID OF THAT BUMBLEBEE OF AN ANGEL * sobs*

C: I know you know this, Mary, but, um.. Sam and Dean -- they're -- they're glad to have you back. Whatever you still have to deal with and however long it takes, you should know they're happy.

Giulia: MY

Giulia: BABY

Giulia: I CAN T

Giulia: YEAH THAT S RIGHT. THEY WERE NEVER ALONE

Zee: Can she not?!

Giulia: SOBS. MY CHEST HURTS

Castiel really doesn’t want to look the Winchesters in the eyes explaining things.I mean an angel of the freaking Lord, sorry tell me again that he doesn’t care about them.

Giulia: Sam give him a kick

D: I mean, we don't know what Nick did. He probably deserved it.

He certainly did.

[enters Cass]

Dean :

BOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: I don t wanna watch. I don t wanna WATCH

Zee: Don’t you dare leave me

S: There's a, um, blast site behind the house It looks angelic, just...bigger.

Dean: 

To me it’s like they already know, at least Dean. I can see his brain working. And Cas might be looking at him right now ( he also might not don’t get your panties twisted there)

Dean : Who cares what Jack said?

welp there it is

D: We don't know what happened!

Giulia: i can t. I don t wanna hate dean

Giulia: But I’m gonna

Zee: Fuck

I CAN’T LOOK AT CAS

Giulia: FUCK U. I DID.

S: Dean-

D: No, he knew. He knew something was wrong with the kid. He knew it, and he didn't tell us! He didn't even tell us!

Giulia: i can t LOOK AT MY BABY . What the FUCK was that face Misha.

Giulia: No

Giulia: Nsbsoabdjfondbdv

THE FUCK WAS THAT STARE DEAN?

C: I was scared. I believed in Jack for so long, I... I believed that he was -- he was good.

Giulia: OMG

Giulia: CAS

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: Oh ffs.

C: I -- I knew that he would be good for the world. And he was good for us. My faith in him, it -- it never wavered, and then I-I saw what he did. It wasn't malice. It wasn't evil. It was like Jack saw a problem, and in his mind, he just solved it with that snake.

D: The snake?!

C: What he did wasn't bad. It was the absence of good. And I saw that in him.

Dean is all over the place right now

C: But we were a family, and I didn't want to lose that, so I thought I could... fix it on my own. Felt like it was my responsibility. So I left. And I didn't tell you.

Sam understands

C: If I could go back and just -- just talk to him right then and there, I would.But I can't, Dean. I failed you. And I failed Jack. And I failed --

D: No, no. Don't even say it. Don't even say her name.

S: Dean [putting himself between them]

Giulia: THE STARE

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK

Ok ok, to me it looks like Dean’s already regretting what he said but at the same time he’s so angry and panicked and he’s just all over the place, they just got back from Sam risking his like yet again and then this...

[Rowena Calling...]

Giulia: THE STARE AGAIN

I DON’T WANNA WATCH THE REEEEEEST

ugh...okay ....here we go.

S: And Mom?

D: Say it!

R: I don't know what happened or where she is...but I can tell you with certainty... Mary Winchester

is no longer on this Earth.

 montage of broken hearts :

Zee: Jfc

Giulia: Saw that coming

Giulia: Great

Giulia: Ready for dean

Giulia: Melt down in 3….2…..1

Zee: I flinched

Giulia: There it is

They are all so broken. That chair is us tho.

D: What do we always do when we lose one of our own?

Zee: We fight

C: How? We don't even know where your mother is.

D:Then go to heaven and find her!

Giulia: Oh look….Cas has misty eyes

Dean’s lingering stare to Castiel like : you better fucking find her , I mean it.

and of course Castiel would do anything for the Winchester.

Giulia: I can t, CAS LOOKING AT SAM LIKE THAT SEEMS SO LOST AND GUILTY AND I HATE IT

[montage of their dead eyes]

Giulia: WELL I HATED IT

Zee: Well hello there

DON’T TOUCH ROWENA JACK DAMN IT.

Giulia: #scared

Giulia: He’s so scared

Zee: To bring Mary back

Giulia: Can’t he think her back again ?

Zee: He’s just a scared kid

Giulia: Come on. This is stupid

Zee: Maybe he doesn’t have that much power?

J: I killed Mary. I-It was an accident. I-I didn't mean to. I just -- I just wanted her to be quiet. I just wanted her gone, but only for a second. And I just.. I thought it. It all happened so fast. I need to undo it. You need to help me undo it.

Giulia: That room looks like bobby’s

Giulia: The soul is gone, the power isn’t

Giulia: Damn

Zee: Oh

Giulia: Of course

Zee: Oh Cas

Giulia: It’s so cold in Canada lol. I wanna go there

Zee: Of course you do

Giulia: Oh not Naomi

Giulia: These flashbacks tho

Giulia: Cute. Imma play with knife today

J: When we get Dean back, he's gonna kill me for this.

Giulia: Yes he is

Zee: Nice

Giulia: BEARD

Zee: Sam’s mourning beard

Giulia: God I love beards. Men just looks better with it

Zee: Parental guilt

Giulia: Well good fucking morning

M: You always feel like you're failing, but then you look at them, and somehow, they're amazing. And somehow, they're literally... ...the bravest...kindest......most heroic men on the planet.

Zee: Yes yes they do

Giulia: Looks like a struggle

Giulia: Great. Can’t wait for that

Zee: I don’t think she got the chance to be a mother tbh

D: Cass. Cass should have told us. As soon as he saw Jack go all Dahmer on his stupid freakin' snake, he should have told us.

S: Dean, it wasn't just Cass. It wasn't. We knew Jack was dangerous. We always knew.Long before he killed Michael. You more than anyone.I mean, from the very beginning, you knew.But, you know, we fell for him 'cause he had a good heart and a good soul.Then he didn't. And that's on me, too, by the way.I mean, I'm the one who made the call to bring him back.He didn't ask for that. I decided for him. And you warned me.No, you didn't know, okay? We didn't know

Giulia: AH. Thank you Sam

Zee: The voice of reason…..And there Sam with the guilt

D: We didn't know. 

S: Exactly. But -- He had become our family. You know, after Maggie and the other Hunters died... I just left. Just... dumped Jack on Cass and left. I knew. I mean, I knew something... was gonna... I just didn't know it'd be this.

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Is everybody on the verge of tears on this ep?

D: I did it, too. When I talked to Donatello about Jack, he said he was good as far as he could tell. But then he talked about how powerful Jack was and that he could never really be sure. And it was a warning.I just couldn't see it.

Giulia: YEAH YA DID

Giulia: YES THEY ARE. Finally mirroring us

Zee: About time

Giulia: Great if Dean doesn’t fucking apologize to Cas I swear

Zee: Not again

Giulia: Ew I mean. Love ya Mark But.  Stop it. Anyway

Giulia: Fucking jack is going in that box 99,99%

Zee: +0.01

Giulia: Jack is us

Giulia: Lucy is spn feelings

N: You want gratitude for bringing Mommy back? Why? So you can call this dump home again?

Zee: Poor child

N: And you know what, Jack? It's not gonna work. You know it's not gonna work.

Giulia: GREAT

C: I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere, not until I have a word with you.

Zee: Well good luck with that

Giulia: ugh naomi

Giulia: Misha’s hair are goooooood

Giulia: … Wasn’t she dead? Also LOVE HER

Dumah: She is at peace. You know, she died painlessly. Instantly. Completely.

She's in Heaven, a special Heaven.

Mary Winchester is complete.

You and the Winchesters may not be.

But she is.

Zee: Can I mention I love her voice?

Giulia: No i love her voice too

Can I mention that Cas face is fucking killing me, he’s so distraught 

Zee: Jack is losing it

Giulia: Damn it jack

Zee: He’s so desperate to fix it

Giulia: Wow

Giulia: Can I do that in real life too?

Zee: Thank you Rowena

Giulia: Ok but honestly

Zee: Is all that ash Mary ?

Giulia: I would be fucking terrified to tell the Winchester I killed their mother by mistake tho. I would first tell Sam, then hide behind him as I tell Dean.

Zee: Oh oh

Giulia: So I get Jack a bit. Oh oh He fucked with baby too

Jack with a fucking broken face : It didn't work.

Zee: He’s done everything wrong so far

Giulia: I’m scared and feel for him

Giulia: GREAT DON T WANNA WATCH THIS

Zee: Can the music stop?

Zee: Oh HELL NO

Giulia: OH NO AAAAND IM CRYING

Giulia: GREAT

Giulia: GREEEEAT

Giulia: WHAT A GREAT FUCKING MORNING

Giulia: WHAT A GREAT FUCKING DAY

Giulia: i should stop watching spn in the morning It ruins my whole day

Giulia: SHUT UP STOP

N: There's no going back. You realize that now. Cass, Sam, Dean.. They're never gonna trust you again.

nick...nick shut the fuck up

N: You can never trust them.

Giulia: NO T THE PICS

Zee: Oh noooo

D: So, what? Are you just gonna take her word for it?

C: NO. I saw your mother's Heaven, and she is happy. She's with John, and there's no sorrow. There's no guilt. Just joy.

Sam is me

Zee: And Cas

Giulia: i hate that Sam doesn’t really have a pic with mom tho

S: So, what are we supposed to do now?

D: What we always do.

Zee: Oh shit

Giulia: HATE THIIIIIS I DON’T WANNA SEE IT

Giulia: Ok so Bye Mary I guess. We can t have nice things on spn

Giulia: OH

Zee: Fucking hell

Giulia: THAT HURT ME. OH FUCK

Zee: Damn

Giulia: YEP

Giulia: I THINK ITs bye bye mary

                   [after episode]

Giulia: Hate the promo

Giulia: Fuck the angels And not in the fun way

Zee: I hated it. Too many feels

Giulia: Spn really did trained me to feels

Zee: My coffee is cold and salty

Giulia: Like...Is this thing happening in my life that important that I must suffer like this?

Nah that scene in spn was way worse, I got this

Zee: I guess u r right

Zee: But I have this sick idea that the writers snoop around on social media, read what would tick us and then write that exact thing

Giulia: Well I saw Samantha tribute to Mary on twitter so I guess yeah, Mary is gone

Giulia: Psh of course they do

Giulia: That’s why we write

Zee: Sick bastards

Giulia: So maybe we get lucky and they pick up our ideas

Giulia: No no I love it

Giulia: The thing is

Giulia: They keep changing writers and stuff and that I hate

Giulia: Because ya know....continuity

Giulia: And sometime they make characters behave in a way that it’s too alien , and you can tell

Zee: With each passing ep they make it worse. I don’t even wanna see how this season ends

Giulia: The actors can tell too and they can’t do much about that tho

Zee: Let alone the next

Giulia: With cas , the impala and a graveyard. We know that

Zee: In what context tho

Giulia: WE. ARE. SO. GONNA. HATE. THAT.  * maniac laughter*

Giulia: Idk but those words together are cursed

Zee: U ain’t wrong

Giulia: I wanted to see her heaven tho. They should have done that when JDM came back. Like Just a little snippets please. Ugh

Zee: Do you deliberately seek pain woman? Scratch that. I know you do

Giulia: How is that pain? I would have been happy seeing them happy But I guess we saw that. Whatevs

Zee: Well, she ded. And not with her children But again She never really knew her children

Giulia: A goodbye would have been nice tho

Giulia: Her children are grown ass men. She fine She s in heaven , with the love of her life. I mean. Would love to have that too

Zee: First of all we have established that neither of us is going to heaven

Giulia: Also dying painless and being in heaven?

Zee: Second, u would have to be dead

Giulia: I mean...in spn universe? That’s like goals

Zee: Custom made death

Giulia: I embrace it. Imma party with the angels

Zee: Yes. I think u will

Giulia: Unless I murder someone before I kick it. The bar is set so low ok

Zee: Maybe Jensen at Jib. If they don’t fix him and Cas

Giulia: Well J has no say in that. The fucking writers man.Imma kill them

Zee: Better

Giulia: Kill one , goes to hell, why not kill more since I’m there

[20 min later]

Giulia: So …..I coped with these feelings by doing online shopping

.

.

.

.

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat    @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel  @dustythewind

[spaceforathing]

staying in someplace temporary, going to be moving on to somewhere more permanent hopefully soon (and not back in the fking car :( )

spent like 6-8 hrs yesterday v*miting and sh*tting on the shower floor, like my body was just, falling tf apart. actually insane. rinsing the surface and having to lie down there in between — no choice, going back to bed not an option — just disgusting. at some points i almost passed out. whole body starting to get pins and needles, couldn’t even keep down water and gingerale w/o v*miting.

went to the ER finally. they helped me w some things in a bag but, told me my bloods came back as normal, no infection or problem w my electrolytes. yeah right. so despite going there to receive some, didn’t. she asked her usual dr and he said that they don’t bother looking closer at these things a lot of the time in an ER, short staffed and burnt out, not caring about individual care as much, which i definitely felt. whatever, they gave me something for nausea and pain, so, i’ll live.

not sure whether it was gastritis or a stomach flu or food poisoning or more than one of the above. (i KNOW i ate some off vegetables but it was one of my favorites so i ignored it, stupidly. :/ but there’s also something going around apparently)

just………….this comes after putting together more and more that i almost certainly have a GI illness, including that my respiratory problems probably all stem from that — gallbladder can present as “feeling like you have a tourniquet wrapped around your lungs”, and apparently, stomach stuff runs in my family. so i was on a wild goose chase this whole time. i’ve been taking generic prilosec to try to work on it but need a real appt with a real stomach dr to deal w this. i probably also have something called bile reflux, which is like acid reflux and has its symptoms (to the point where they’re hard to distinguish) but more focused on the bile duct. which fits with the weird yellow/greenish stuff i regularly hack up when brushing, weird tastes in my throat etc.

so, easy to imagine, having a problem with the stomach and fucking BILE duct, it was much harder for me than someone else to just…get to the point of STOPPING V*MITING. my body kept doing this horrible thing with the valve at the back of the throat where i was burping with every breath, it felt like a swamp in there. all the bile in my stomach in a trash can eventually.

just. i’m so fucking sick of dealing with these symptoms. but more than that, i’m angry that i had to be the one to put two and two together about what i might have, rather than being helped sooner, and went on a wild goose chase to lung doctors for so long. jfc.

i just want dealing with this to be over, and i want to have whatever fucking surgeries they will throw at me to fix it (some people do get cured by some methods! it’s possible!), i want it to be over for good and not a lifelong thing, and i’m excited to move the fuck on and stop having to deal with all this.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 308

I’m an Eeyore, blah, blah, blah, whatever, sorry. Ramblings under the cut but seriously maybe just keep scrolling. Why am I even here.

Oh cool. More voiceovers. They’re bugging me way more this season than they used to and I’m not sure why. Maybe because they’re not used as much so when they show up again it’s more jarring?

Young Ian being proud of his skills as a criminal is adorable. Young Ian being proud that Fergus thinks he’s a good criminal is adorable. Young Ian in general is adorable. I’m basically just hanging on to how much I like Young Ian because I’d like to be positive about something.

Ok, I’m sorry, I want to like Jenny. But jfc. Calling Claire a stray? I get that she has complicated feelings about the situation or whatever but can people please stop treating Claire like she’s a piece of crap who no one wants around? It’s getting old. And annoying af.

Also, can Claire please stand up for herself? Like Claire. You suffered enough and were shit on for so long. You don’t need to put up with this crap anymore. You didn’t fucking kill a guy in cold blood. A guy tried to fucking rape you, you defended yourself, he fell, and you tried and failed to save him. That’s a far cry from the fucking murder they’re making it out to be. And it took all of one fucking sentence to explain.

Although good on Jenny for seconding how Claire called out Jamie last week for how he was with Young Ian. Because wtf, Jamie.

Oh hey, Jamie remembers how he learned that beating people isn’t the best form of “punishment.” The smallest of gold stars for you, JAMMF.

Ok I don’t get why they didn’t just have Janet be Kitty. Like we’ve been introduced to Young Jamie, Maggie, Kitty and Ian. Why bother even introducing another rando Murray kid?

Also, did the Murray kids start having babies at like 16? Because the smols running around are pretty old considering Maggie and Young Jamie are like in their early 20s.

Also if Claire and Jamie lived at Lallybroch for a year that the show basically skipped over in season two, Young Jamie would probs definitely remember Claire. But cool that the show needs literally everyone to make Claire feel unwelcome. *eye roll*

Not sure how I feel about Jenny acting like she was entitled to Jamie sharing his grief. Like that’s his call? You’re not entitled to anything? I get wanting to help your brother and stuff, but idk. She seems to be making it about her and what she needed and I’m not here for that?

“I barely wanted to breathe, let alone speak of it.” Cool, Jamie, then maybe start acting like you actually want Claire around? Because last week you were a douchenozzle of epic proportions to her.

Good on Jenny for knowing Jamie’s full of shit when he tells her the BS about where Claire went. The story like isn’t really believable.

Yes, Claire. Tell Jenny the truth. Dooo it.

But fuck Jamie for thinking Jenny wouldn’t be able to accept the truth about Claire. Literally everything in this episode makes it seem like she’d believe them. And it’d work so well if they’d just tell her. If they tell her next week, fine, but I’ll still be mildly annoyed because like why drag it out unnecessarily?

Also, they bring up Murtagh and Jamie forgets to tell Claire he’s alive? Because if she knows and they had that conversation off-screen I’ma be pissed.

The shots of Jamie climbing up to the tower thing are so overly dramatic I can’t even. Like when his hands come up over the wall thing but then he just like casually steps over it. Like wat? What am I watching.

Also the jewels in that box look like the plastic stuff I had in my dress up box when I was a kid.

Caitriona Balfe’s face during the whole greylag thing kills me. Basically Caitriona Balfe’s face during this whole episode kills me. *throws awards at Caitriona Balfe’s face*

Glad they didn’t have the kiddos interrupt sex because Joan is basically a fetus, but the “daddy” thing is still so weird. Especially from Marsali. An 18 year old who calls her stepdad “daddy” is fucking weird. Especially if that stepdad only lived with them for a couple months.

Good to see Laoghaire is still just as fucking terrible as ever. *eye roll* Seriously. After ep. 208, I was like cautiously optimistic that maybe Laoghaire would have some character growth. Like yeah, she’s still fucking insane, but to have her just barge in with the same old over the top “my whole purpose in life is hating Claire because I’m unhealthily obsessed with Jamie” nonsense is annoying af.

Claire’s reaction during this terrible nonsense, though... *throws more awards at Caitriona Balfe’s face*

Ok Joan’s adorable and Da!Jamie is lovely, but like, did we really need to spend this much time on this scene? I get it, Jamie loves the girls. Jamie really loves being a dad. But I’m just getting really annoyed that literally anything and everything keeps taking precedence over Claire, and fixing the relationship between her and Jamie.

“Well there are other redheaded men in Scotland, Claire.” Jfc, dude. Read the fucking room. Does this really look like the right time for sass? He’s been so hot and cold toward her it’s like fucking whiplash since she came back and now that his other marriage is out there he like can’t stop for a minute and fucking be serious with her? Fucking asshole.

“You’re the one that told me to be kind to the lass!” Go fuck yourself, Jamie. Do not throw this back on Claire. Claire asking Jamie to thank Laoghaire could be part of how Jamie rationalizes it being ok to marry her to himself, but to throw it on Claire like somehow that’s the equivalent of her giving her blessing is not a good look. Fucking own your damn choices, Fraser.

“I’m a coward. I couldn’t tell you, but I’ll totally twist your words so I can feel good about myself for marrying someone I know tried to kill you.” Yes. Jamie. You’re a fucking coward. Own that cowardice. Sit in that fucking cowardice. Don’t fucking say you’re a coward and then immediately try to throw the blame for the situation back on Claire. Own your fucking mess, dude. You fucked up. You need to work to fix that. Jfc.

Yaaas Claire, call him on his bullshit about leaving him. Call him on ALL THE BULLSHIT. Seriously her face though. *throws awards*

Ok don’t you mansplain your manpain at Claire, bro. She had 20 fucking years of manpain being mansplained at her and my girl deserves fucking better.

Really wish Claire would throw more back at Jamie. She still hasn’t gotten across to him just how hard things were for her. It really does seem like Jamie thinks he won the pain and suffering contest. (It’s not a contest, but it’s getting super old that he seems to think she just went back to this cushy life and sure, was sad, but because he was in prison and a cave and stuff he somehow has the moral high ground now.)

Claire spent 20 years not being able to speak. She spent 20 years just enduring a terrible situation and not being allowed to feel or grieve or be herself. Jamie needs to fucking hear that. Because how dare he think that she doesn’t know what it’s like to live without a heart. How fucking dare he. Fucking drag him, Claire. He needs to hear it and you need to say it. But of course we don’t get that. Because have you seen this season? Why would they start treating Claire well now. It’s only 8 episodes into a 13 episode season. Ugh.

I know Jamie’s like insecure and jealous and whatever but at some point who gives a fuck about Jamie’s manpain. Claire needs to say her piece and she still hasn’t been able to and I’m really annoyed about it apparently.

Also I really wish they cut them starting to rage bang and instead just had them yell more. Because they’re definitely not done yelling. Yes. They use sex to communicate, but rage banging isn’t going to make things better. Especially rage banging that isn’t welcome on Claire’s side at first. They haven’t done enough actual communicating yet. And by they, I mean Claire. Let Claire fucking speak, show.

Like oh hey, Jamie says he loves her, but like I’m distracted by Claire not wanting him to touch her and him still touching her? And you haven’t been acting like you love her, Jamie, so this line feels like the same lip-service as you saying you were a coward and then immediately punting blame?

Ok fuck Jenny very much for her little rant at Claire. Yes, it’s fucked up that Claire dropped off the face of the earth. And I get she had to see Jamie go through a ton of shit. But to just automatically be this much of a dick to Claire? Jfc. I’m so over everyone being a fucking dick to Claire. Claire needs a fucking spa weekend or some shit.

But ffs, why can’t they just tell Jenny and Ian the fucking truth. (If it happens next week I’m just going to be annoyed. They’ve set it up like 23985230589 different ways this week to do it. Just fucking do it.)

“I’m still the same person you fell in love with.” But you’re really fucking not, Jamie. That’s the whole fucking point. Ughhh, wtf.

Ok but where the fuck did Laoghaire get this gun? Like who gave her a pistol? (Yes, I know, it’s from the book. It’s still fucking stupid.) There has to have been a way to do the Laoghaire stuff in this episode that isn’t like dialed up to 11 on the crazy meter. Because this is just absurd.

Also wtf is with Claire’s like body check thing? Like push her away or something if you have to but like full on hockey checking her or whatever is dumb af?

Oh hey, Young Ian is being a cinnamon roll again about Claire’s surgical tools. Just going to enjoy that for a minute. Keep being adorable, Young Ian.

“You’re the only one who calls me [Auntie].” “Uncle Jamie’s lucky you’re here.” PROTECT YOUNG IAN AT ALL COSTS. GET HIM A WOLF PUP TO ASSIST WITH THIS.

Ok but wouldn’t Claire feel that Jamie has a fever when she’s checking his bandages? No? Ok, whatever. Moving on.

Jamie’s face when Claire’s giving him the cup makes me want to smack him a little. Like, dude, do you not know how much shit you’re in? Like his little smile and heart eyes or whatever he’s doing there makes it seem like he’s not taking the situation as seriously as he should be.

Making Jamie agreeing to marry Laoghaire be all about the kids is the only way it could possibly work even a little, I guess? Because yeah, Jamie wants to be a dad. A lot. But still, two minutes with rando children at a party is really not enough to then say you’ll spend the rest of your life with the crazy bitch you know tried to kill your wife in an effort to get you to love her. Also, there are approximately 29358238923598 smols running around Lallybroch and I’m guessing a fair number of other widows out there who aren’t fucking insane. Whatever. Jamie’s reasons for wanting to get married are all legit. But I’m still side-eyeing the choice of woman given what he knows about her. (Yes, it’s in the book. Yes, I still get to side-eye it. Yes, he’s still a fucking coward for not telling Claire sooner.)

“To care for Willie...or Brianna.” Cool that Bree’s still the afterthought. Cool cool cool.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of someone being afraid of my touch.” I still wish they would have found a way for the marriage to fail that didn’t involve Laoghaire being a victim of abuse, but given what Jamie went through at Wentworth, that’s a legit reason for him to leave. But like, if the whole thing was about the kids and him being a dad, wouldn’t he fucking move somewhere closer than fucking Edinburgh? I guess the kids don’t actually matter that much? This whole thing is a fucking hot mess.

OK BUT THIS CONVERSATION ON THE STAIRS WITH JENNY WHEN SHE’S TALKING ABOUT NOT KNOWING WHERE CLAIRE CAME FROM AND HOW SHE SAVED THEM WITH THE POTATOES IS THE PERFECT FUCKING TIME TO TELL JENNY THE FUCKING TRUTH AND GAH, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO IT. THIS IS APPARENTLY THE HILL I’M WILLING TO DIE ON.

Ned Gowan gets the award for having the correct reaction to seeing Claire again. Gold star for you, Ned Gowan. Ned Gowan, Young Ian and Fergus should start a club for people who aren’t dicks to Claire.

I’m here for Jamie not wanting Laoghaire transported because of the girls. I’d side-eye him like whoa if he wanted to go that route. But jfc, they can’t use that as leverage to lower the alimony? Like sure, send them some money so you don’t leave the kids hanging, but not the insane amount she was apparently asking for?

“I’m just not sure if we belong together anymore.” I hate that they end the episode like this, with no actual resolution between them. Like I’d like to think that Claire would never believe what she says, but jfc, she’s been treated basically like how Frank had treated her by pretty much everyone except Fergus and Young Ian since she got back. To the point where she’s fucking romanticizing the 20 years she spent just going through the motions and being basically emotionally abused by a vindictive husband. The fact that it doesn’t seem out of character for her to say she thinks it was a mistake kills me because jfc, sorry, but she deserves better than she’s gotten.

“I had a life.” Yeah, one where you were constantly told that you weren’t enough and that you were a horrible person.

“I didn’t hate Boston.” Girl. Listen to yourself. That’s how you phrase it when you’re trying to convince yourself it’s true. Not how you say it when you actually believe it’s true. (I know, she didn’t hate everything 100% of the time, but she’s still just trying to convince herself that what she had was better than it actually was because now that she’s back, she’s just getting more of the same BS thrown at her.)

“I had a career.” Yeah. You did. And you deserve to be around people who respect that and see how important it was to you.

“A home.” You really want to keep those rose colored glasses on about that, Claire? Seriously, I needed her to like lash out at Jamie about what it was really like for her because I still don’t think he fully gets it. Whatever. Le sigh.

“Friends.” Girl you had one friend. Which I guess is more than you have back here... #TeamJoe

Noticeably missing from Claire’s list? Fucking Bree. Wtf?

Can I just give Claire a hug? Because jfc, if someone has ever needed a hug in the history of hugs, it’s Claire.

“It wasn’t so bad, really, was it?” Yes. Yes it was, Claire. And fuck the show for dragging this out for yet another episode. Everything is still somehow Claire’s fault and Claire’s still just like flailing around, trying to be fucking seen and heard for once.

“When has it ever been easy.” Jamie, ffs, don’t brush off her pain like that. Can you just listen for fucking once to what she’s telling you. But nope. He gets like one romantic line per episode and apparently that makes everything cool? Blergh.

Oh hey, a random book line followed immediately by them getting interrupted so lol who cares about that failed emotional beat. I’m sensing a pattern, show. And it’s not one I’m enjoying. At all.

Also there’s no way that fucking ship pulled up its sails or whatever the actual term is that quickly and then dropped them again in the span of like two minutes.

So now we’re off to start the shipnanigans but still no fucking resolution between Jamie and Claire. Because why would you spend part of this episode with them actually working through their shit and coming to a new normal while they’re home at Lallybroch when you can save it for when they’re on a fucking ship in the middle of high seas adventure nonsense? Because lol #angst. Whatever. This is fine. Le sigh.

This show is fucking exhausting.

[xxomalley]

( self para. her. 001 )

who: katzu, UNCLE IROH, her, brandy. mentions of: dayax, bonnie, and blaze. what: her tries to mess with katzu and fails; her messes with brandy a second time (and it sorta works). when: current time ??? it’s tuesday night herE SO. where: katzu’s dorm (AND THE SPIRIT WORLD!!) and then outside the building of?? katzu’s dorm??

+ notes/recap at the end.

“I believe there’s an evil spirit in Auradon, Grandfather.”

“You are certain they are evil?”

“Yes.”

Iroh frowned, making a low hum sound as he stroked his beard. Though they were technically a great-uncle and great-nephew to each other, when Katzu was a baby, he had called Iroh his ‘grandfather’ and the old man couldn’t refuse. Even now, in death and the afterlife, he was still Grandfather. 

Iroh took one look at his great-nephew, so much like his father in many ways, then back at the tea brewing above the fire between them. Several small spirits huddled around the fire they had made for their tea and Katzu waved them off gently.

“And have you made contact with the spirit?” Iroh asked.

“Yes,” Katzu nodded, taking the pot off the fire and pouring carefully into their cups. “She’s tried to speak with me, I believe she’s still trying to speak with me now.” Her didn’t know yet that Katzu really couldn’t hear her, no matter how much she whispered and yelled.

“She cannot have come from the Spirit World we are familiar with,” Iroh mused. “It seems that this New Realm, the one my nephew and the Avatar have found, is presenting more difficulties than they anticipated. Have you spoken to them about it?”

Katzu shook his head, perhaps a bit too quickly. “No. They don’t need to know about this. I’m safe. And so is Dayax.”

At that, Iroh smiled, but there was a tinge of sadness to it. “I have no doubt that you and your friend are safe, Grandson, but what of the others in this new realm? Who do not have the luxury of seeking refuge in a Spirit World, taking tea with their grandfather?”

Katzu bristled, the cup of tea held apart from his lips as he thought. He breathed in the hot air, then sighed. “What am I meant to do?”

“I am sure the New Realm has their own way of taking care of things,” Iroh admitted, speaking slowly and carefully. “But a little assistance could go a long way.”

“You want me to teach people how to meditate?” asked Katzu, incredulous.

“Oh, meditation isn’t for everyone, that’s pushing things a bit too far,” Iroh chuckled, “but never leave them alone, Grandson. If this spirit brings forth your greatest worries, as you say, then I can only hope those most fragile in the New Realm have someone to take care of them. And if they do not…”

Katzu’s shoulders dropped. He sipped the tea, if only to prolong having to give an answer. Iroh seemed to notice this, and he tilted his head, trying to catch his attention.

“I’m not saying to help everyone. But one person can make a difference.”

“…I’ve never seen myself as being that person.”

“Then you are blind. I’ve seen that in you from the day you were born,” Iroh said with a soft smile. “You don’t have to push yourself. When the time comes, you’ll feel it. Like your churning stomach after a big meal.”

At that, a laugh broke through Katzu’s lips, and he covered his mouth with his hand.

Iroh joined him with a chuckle that erupted into his own laugh. “There we go! Smile more, Grandson, you’re too young to be frowning so much. You see your father now? So many wrinkles at his age. I look younger than him.”

Katzu laughed again. Iroh thought to come back to their previous topic, to venture to ask what the spirit had tried to tell Katzu, what she had tried to whisper in his ear, but now that his grandson was smiling again, Iroh couldn’t bear it. He only wished that the spirit had retired for the night, and wouldn’t bother anyone else.

~*~*~*~*~     BACK IN AURADON     ~*~*~*~*~

Her was at Katzu’s dorm. After almost half an hour of just yelling at him while he had his eyes closed, sitting upright with his legs crossed over, his hands gently resting over his knees, she thought enough was enough. But even now, as she slapped his face lightly, Her saw that he wouldn’t be waking any time soon. Somehow, the young man had found a way to shut her out.

“How disappointing,” she huffed, before heading back to the window and floating down to the ground three stories below. “Thank goodness it’s early,” she hummed to herself, watching as people walked the darkening campus grounds, flitting in and out of buildings.

Her could spot people she knew, the people she’d especially chosen. They looked good, she thought, happy or at least pleasantly tired, walking back to their homes after a long day. That had to change. Spotting James Frank, with his tiny purple friend floating about, Her grinned. She rubbed her hands together, floating through the air like a mermaid, until a green blur snatched her out of the air and pressed her against a wall. A strong hand had grabbed the collar of her jacket, keeping her back, and Her’s eyebrows shot up as Brandy Utonium glared at her.

“Brandy,” Her smiled. “What a fine girl.”

“Shut up,” she snapped. “You said you were going to leave.”

“Hmm, now when did I say that?”

“Right after I told you I’d fly you into the sun if you didn’t.”

“Oh, you were serious?”

Brandy frowned.“I told you to leave me and my family alone.”

“Our family, you mean? To be honest, I haven’t bothered any of them in a while. Blaze is too uptight, you see, and you were far too violent, though I do miss having chit-chats with dear Bonnie. Also, why is it that you can have a ‘chat’ but not a ‘chit’ --?”

“You said you were going to leave.”

“I said –” Her’s voice lost its echo, and her eyes flickered a bright red, “I would leave you alone. If you didn’t threaten me again.” The echo came back to her voice, and her eyes dulled to its usual brown colour. Brandy blinked, her eyebrow twitching, but Her wasn’t done yet: “But here we are, back in square one, and now I’m thinking you just missed our little chits. 

...honestly, why can’t Bonnie ever be the one to confront to me like this, she’s the more reasonable of you three. This is just bad-cop, bad-cop and you don’t get anywhere. Even Blaze would have a bit more decorum; we’d have some good, intelligent conversation. Brandy, you’re a fine girl, but no matter how many scholastic championships you win, you bring nothing to the table but a fist and a short temper.  You’re exactly like your mother. What is it Blaze said? She cleared her throat, imitating his voice: “Just a cheap knock-off of the original.”

At that, Brandy stepped back. It was the use of her couin’s voice that jarred her. 

She let go of Her, and Her slid down the wall to the ground, huffing as she adjusted her dress and jacket. Brandy’s brows were at an eternal furrow at this point, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“Blaze would never say that.”

“Oh, he did.” Just not about you, she failed to add. But she could already see Brandy thinking, piecing together something said so strategically that her mind immediately made a link that didn’t exist. Once the seed of doubt had been placed, it could only grow. Her wanted to smile, but she didn’t want to ruin the illusion.

“He wouldn’t.”

“I’m just telling you what I heard. I thought you said he thinks he’s smarter than you?”

Brandy snorted. “It’s a joke.”

“He said you weren’t talented.”

“It was a joke.”

“There’s always some grain of truth to these things –”

“You don’t know how my family is. What – what we’re like to each other. You just got here a couple of weeks ago and now you think you can just mess with my mind –”

Her just shrugged. “I just echo, darling.” She saw Brandy’s hands curl into fists, the confusion clear on her face, battling the nagging thought in her mind. “Maybe it was a joke when he said it to me. Of course, it’s soooo hard to tell with him. As you know.” She made to walk away, but Brandy grabbed her arm.

“No, you’re not going anywhere.”

Her just sighed, carefully prying off Brandy’s fingers with her own. “I think we both know you have better things to think about than how I spend my Tuesday night. And, besides. I’m tired.”

In spite of herself, Brandy let Her go.

Her didn’t even look back as she walked ahead, turning to look at where James Frank was heading, pausing for a few seconds, before deciding otherwise. She could bother him another night. 

But she did throw her voice back to Brandy one more time, echoing those words once more, as if the wind had said them:

Cheap knock-off.

In a flash of green light, Brandy was gone.

NOTES/RECAP:

katzu can speak with his grandfather iroh by meditating into the spirit world

katzu can IGNORE Her by going into the spirit world

iroh told katzu to consider helping others try to block out Her

Her and brandy spoke once before, in which brandy was threatening a world of pain and her’s like “ok jfc i’ll leave”

brandy’s main anxieties = being a ‘cheap knock-off’ of her parents, not being as good as her cousins (mainly blaze at this point)

blaze had called Her a ‘cheap knock-off’ at one point, and Her used that as a way of getting to brandy

[princess-cordelias-writingblog]

Clever (Remus x Reader)

A/N: I’m gonna do all the requests, I’m just taking my time cause I don’t want THIS WEEKEND TO END PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO BACK TO SCHOOL I'M NOT READY TO BE A SENIOR to make lots of mistakes and cause you to cringe but sorry if I fucked up, I’ll fix it later (if I notice jfc)<3 

Warnings: Blood

Words: 1, 360 holy shit this is long I’m proud??

Prompt: #33 “Oh my gosh is that blood?”

It was one of those nights when you just couldn’t get to sleep, and it was driving you crazy. You had tried everything, but this insomnia was hard to beat.

You moved uncomfortably on your bed, trying to feel better when suddenly you moved too fast and fell, waking up the person beside you.

“Who was it?” she sounded annoyed, you couldn’t blame her really, it was the middle of the night.

“It’s me” you grumbled “I’m sorry Lily, didn’t mean to wake you up”

“Y/n, What are you doing?” Lily whispered.

“I fell off the bed” you admitted slightly embarrassed “I can’t sleep”

“And you decided to knock yourself out?” She chuckled “That’s never the answer, sweetie”

“Haha” you rolled your eyes, she couldn’t see you but you didn’t care “Be careful, you’re starting to sound a lot like James”

“Shut up” she mumbled “just go to the common room and wrap yourself in a blanket, eventually you’ll feel sleepy”

Having no other option, you decided to follow her advice and stood up, grabbing your wand, and a pair of slippers, slowly opening your bedroom door you walked carefully down stairs, having difficulties to find each step in the dark and silently sitting on one of the closest seats to the chimney.

You disappeared under a bunch of blankets and a few minutes later you started to feel sleepy.

You were so tired that didn’t notice when the portrait opened, letting a young, scrawny boy with brown hair and saddened expression in, new cuts adorning his hands, arms and face.

He walked slowly to the chair that was sited in front of you, a low whine escaping his lips, you woke up at the sound, your heart skipping a beat when you realized who were you seeing.

The boy sat there in silence, looking at something in his hands, he frowned and looked away, his stare weak and tired.

You stayed silent, pretty sure that he hadn't noticed you when he came into the room. Scared to move you watched him in silence, curious to know what he was doing up so late.

Remus Lupin was your favorite classmate (never said that in front of Lily of course) not because he was smart, or good-looking, but because he was kind and supportive, even though you two weren’t friends.

You hardly had any friends, the only reason why you were friends with Lily, was because she refused to leave your side, you didn’t speak much so the girl did all the talking most of the time, you appreciated her efforts to make you feel part of the group but the person who made you feel accepted the most was Remus, and you were helplessly in love with him because of that reason. 

Still, you never seemed to find the nerves to go and talk to him, to be honest, his friends were quite intimidating and though they never made fun of you felt reluctant to form any kind of friendship with those boys. 

Remus was a whole different story, he never forced you to talk, even when he approached you during herbology and asked questions about your life or simply how was your day going, he seemed to be okay with you just nodding or simply answering “Fine, thank you” or “Good”. You didn’t know why, but you fell in love without even noticing, charmed by his sweet personality.

You stared lovingly at his features, trying to memorize the color of his eyes when you suddenly realized what was the thing he was staring at a few seconds ago, getting up from the chair so fast that almost fell backward.

“Oh my gosh is that blood?”

Remus stared at you with wide eyes, his skin paled and his breathing hitched, hiding his hands from you.

“Y/n, how long have you been there?”

“I-I fell asleep” you stuttered, wishing you hadn’t move a few moments ago “What happened to you?”

“Nothing” He muttered, guilt washing over his face.

“I saw your hands, they were all cut and bloody, just like your face!”

You immediately regretted the comment, seeing the hurt on his face, your heart dropping to your stomach “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like when someone mentions your scars...”

“It’s okay,” he said quietly “how do you know that?”

“Uh, Sirius mentioned it once, when Severus made a rude comment about them in class” you replied, looking at anything but his eyes, “He said that he knew how much it bothered you”

“They make me feel like a monster, though I am”

You frowned at the comment, walking closer and sitting on the chair next to him “I think you look nice”

“Thank you, but I know that’s not true, you can be honest I won’t be mad.” He said with a small smile

“I’m not lying!” you exclaimed “But even if I were it doesn’t matter, you are better than most of the boys our age, what counts is on the inside” 

He let out a sad laugh, letting his head to rest on the back of his chair “I wish everyone could be like you, y/n”

“Me?” you asked, blushing “I’m not sure I agree with you”

“Why not?” He looked at you again, this time with more intensity “You don’t judge people by their looks, you are kind to everyone, stay out of troubles, you’re clever and you’re always willing to help”

“I’m shy and never talk and I’m not that clever” you brushed away like it was nothing and quickly changed the subject before he could respond “Could you show me your hands?”

He doubted, his hands sinking further in his pockets “I promise I won’t ask if you’re not ready to explain” you added.

He stayed silent for a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath, slowly revealing his hands to you. Your breathing got stuck in your throat, alarmed by the state of his injuries, you took one of his hands in yours, frowning.

“This looks really painful, you should go to Madam Pomfrey”

“I can’t it’s too late” Remus replied, his face contorted in pain.

“Hmmm...”

You pulled out your wand from your pocket, whispering a few words, Remus watched as his cuts and bruises slowly disappeared, the incessant pain vanishing from his body.

“I learned that a while ago” you commented proudly “My mum taught me last summer while I was helping her in the kitchen, I cut my finger and she used that spell”

“That’s useful” he smiled, a little bit wider than before “See? I told you, you’re very clever”

A blush covered your entire face while your voice struggled to get out of your throat “Thank you, but is not that difficult to learn”

“Teach me then,” He said simply “I could use that spell from time to time”

“A-are you sure?” the offer took you by surprise.

“Yes,” He chuckled “is tomorrow on our free period okay?”

“It’s perfect” you nodded, holding your breath.

“Okay.” He stood up from his seat and offered you his hand to help you stand, you took it without hesitation.

Walking hand in hand you get to your bedroom door, turning around to face him.

“See you tomorrow...” you said, smiling lightly.

“Have a good night, y/n” Remus replied, still holding your hand “thank you for the kind words and healing my hands, that really helped a lot.”

“I’m always willing to help” you shrugged, making him laugh.

“I know, I’m lucky to have you as my friend” You weren’t so sure about this, but you could’ve sworn he blushed after he said that last part.

Once you entered the room quietly and left your wand on the bedside table you heard Lily’s voice from the bed next to yours “did it worked?”

“Yes,” you smiled, “I think I should do it more often.”

“If that makes you happy” Lily sounded sleepy, probably not paying attention to the conversation at all, but it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

“It does” You yawned “The happiest.”

And with that last phrase, you fell asleep.

[some-rfa-imagines]

Can I request scenarios where MC is hit by a car while on date with RFA, V and Saeran? But not like the car kills her, more like she will have something broken or she will be bleeding

ooh stressed-ness from our lovely characters, yay!~ thank you anon for requesting this!! I shall try my best~

The cut is under Yoosung’s, just for length.

edit: ANON IM SO SORRY YOU REQUESTED SCENARIOS BUT I MADE THEM HDCs SORRY SORRY SORRY

-

Yoosung

- it was a cute shopping date

- you both had gone out to buy stuff for your shared apartment and just chill with each other because you were both so busy

- you were walking through the parking lot

- and suddenly pain

- a dumb ass driver swerved the corner too quickly, crashing into you.

- “MC!”

- Yoosung rushed to your side

- he was freaking out - there was so much blood

- he didn’t even think to go off at the guy, but did remember the number plate, just in case.

- the ambulance was called and you were rushed to hospital

- he didn’t stop pacing, even after the rest of the RFA showed up. He didn’t even think about hospital expenses but was majorly glad when Jumin offered to pay

- he was only worried about you - oh god please don’t be dead

- almost pushed the doctor out of the way when they said he could see you.

- rushed to your side and kissed you over and over before apologising for something that wasn’t his fault

- so happy you were alive and only had a broken leg

- when you got home he wouldn’t let you walk around or go grocery shopping because everything is dangerous MC, your crutches could get cau-

- shhhhhhhhh

Zen

- it was late and you two just watched a musical for your date

- you crossed the road, it was empty and quiet so you didn’t bother checking

- big mistake

- a car pulled out of the driveway and onto the road so quickly you didn’t see it coming

- oh god the pain

- Zen, having run ahead of you to pick a rose for you, turned in horror

- blood, so much blood

- he screamed your name, rushing over to hold you and keep you conscious

- some neighbours called the ambulance and he sat with you, holding your hand and whispering things to keep you awake as you went to hospital

- sat with you as you got cleaned up and stitches

- didn’t even argue when Jumin offered to pay because his heart was still beating super fast

- he could have lost you

- misses out on some rehearsals just in case and always has his phone on just in case you call

- his fans find out and oh god there are so many flowers and presents and cards and wow okay babe did you open up a florist in here while i was at rehearsal?

Jaehee

- you two went to go watch Zen’s newest production

- it was now dark as you exited the theatre you didn’t see the small group of shady looking guys until they were following you

- you began to get cat called and things of the like

- jaehee looked ready to kick some ass

- suddenly, you two were surrounded by the jerks

- as you two resisted, one of the shoved you onto the road

- “Jaehe-!”

- bright headlights approached you and hit you just barely as you screamed and ducked out of the way.

- Jaehee’s eyes widened as she grabbed ahold of your attackers, bolted across the road with them in tow and rushed to your side.

- the police and hospital were called, rushing you into the ambulance and away as your attackers were lead into the police van

- zen, who was just leaving the theatre quickly offered her a lift to the hospital and they followed after the ambulance, Jaehee worrying the entire time

- Please don’t be dead, MC, oh please…

- she was so glad when she saw you that you only had your dominant arm in a cast and a couple scratches

- Jumin gave her a long time off to take care of you

- mama jaehee: activated

- bless her

Jumin

- you two were returning from a quiet park date

- you’d managed to convince him that you guys didn’t need bodyguards jfc it’s just a park

- the sun was setting and Mr work work work work work had to take a call so you wandered off for a little.

- you saw the fish-shaped-bread man with his truck just across the road from the park so you skipped back and told Jumin where you were going before running off to go buy the bread

- you didn’t even see the truck approaching you

- but you definitely felt it

- and you screamed

- jumin heard the scream and hung up immediately, calling the ambulance in it’s place, rushing over to you

- he felt sick as he saw the amount of blood that surrounded you

- made sure you were taken to the best hospital and were treated by the best doctors

- he would not stop threatening the hospital staff to make sure they made sure you were alive

- when he saw you laying on the bed, with your leg in a cast, he freaked out again

- but on the inside

- he immediately had the house made safer for you

- when you got home, he made sure everything was in reach for you and you had him on speed dial for when he went back to the office

- until then - Jumin’s schedule = cleared jaehee cries in the distance

- you didn’t even get your fish shaped bread

Saeyoung

- you dorks had run to the local convenience store because Saeyoung said you were running low on Honey Buddha chips lies

- it was late and you decided to drop by the park and play on the swings before going to the store

- saeyoung had the biggest smile on his face

- after playing for a while, you raced each other to the store

- because it was late, you didn’t think there’d be any cars out

- so, as you raced across the road, not thinking to check, the headlights approached you at a sickening speed

- saeyoung’s smile was wiped off his face

- “M-MC? MC? MC!”

- Ambulance was called immediately and he cradled you in his arms until then, mumbling things to you to keep you awake

- “C’mon MC, you’re not going to die okay? Don’t die on me.”

- he held your hand in the ambulance and until you got to the hospital

- p a c i n g. Saeran had to shake him out of it

- when the doctors told him you were okay and just had to get stitches and had a broken wrist and leg, he was s o  r e l i e v e d

- apologies everywhere when he next saw you

- when you were released, he would hardly let you do anything

- it didn’t matter if he was in the middle of an extremely important job, if you needed him, he was 100% there for you

- he was just so relieved you were alive

- vanderwood got kinda pissed

V

- you two were on a photography date to celebrate V getting his surgery

- he had finally decided that he wanted to see you and see everything you did and you were so happy to hear his decision so almost immediately after he came back, you went on a date

- you were just walking around and exploring, buying food and window shopping and he took photos of your expressions and everything

- he was looking at his camera, flicking through the photos

- he didn’t see that he had stepped onto the road

- but you did

- and you saw the car that was approaching

- your eyes widened and you raced after him, pushing him out of the way just as the car made impact

- his own eyes widened and he turned around to see you laying on the road

- there was a lot of blood and a lot of yelling

- “MC! Oh god, MC!”

- he snapped out of his horrified trance and crouched down to you, shaking you to keep you conscious

- “MC, oh, MC, I’m so sorry, oh, I’m so so sorry, I’m sorry…” he repeated his murmuring over and over, wrapping you in his arms and shaking you lightly to keep you awake

- he stayed with you in the ambulance and the whole way through the hospital until the doctors said he needed to wait outside

- he just sat with his head in his hands and stayed that way as the RFA came and until the doctors said you could be seen

- he rushed in and just kept apologising, even after you said it was fine and you were just glad he wasn’t hurt

- when you were released, he was extra careful around you and helped you in any way he could.

- You had helped him when he needed it, now he had to return the favour

Saeran

- you were on a movie date

- you’d chosen the movies because regardless of the amount of people, the movies were generally quiet

- and the cinema in your area had cheap food i know right what

- you were walking out of the cinema after watching a few movies and were on your way home when you saw it

- ice cream

- hell yes

- the truck pulled away as you were crossing the road so you chased after it

- it made saeran smile inwardly because it felt like the childhood he never had and he was glad to be experiencing it with you

- you ducked through some back allies no you didn’t memorise the ice cream trucks pattern shut up author

- he was a faster than you so he finished crossing the road before you’d reached it

- you were about to when a drunk driver swerved and hit you on the pavement

- oh god the pain

- “MC!”

- Saeran rushed across the road again, his eyes filled with anger

- the ice cream truck man had called the police and the ambulance instantly, also running over to make sure the drunk driver wasn’t dead

- even if he wasn’t comfortable with much human contact, he hugged you and squeezed you tightly, trying to keep you awake

- when you both got to the hospital, he got incredibly uncomfortable but stayed with you regardless

- Saeyoung showed up and sat with his brother outside of your room until the doctors came and told them it was okay, you just had a concussion and a broken arm with a whole load of scratches

- ‘you were incredibly lucky’ they said

- he came in with a bouquet of flowers from the gift shop and sat beside you

- he didn’t leave the entire time you were in the hospital and when you guys got home he helped out as best he could

- he was just so glad he hadn’t lost his light in the darkness

-

Yay~! only Saeran’s is a drunk driver bc i only thought of it at the end and didn’t feel like re-writing any of the others.I hope this is okay anon!! thanks for requesting once again~

OKay, bye bye!! *poof*

Mini note: you know, fun fact, I originally was going to make it for Saeran as though the ice cream truck crashed into MC but then I thought the baby has already been through so much I don’t want him to hate his favourite food because it hurt his love. You’re welcome.

[amorremanet]

4, 31, 44

asks for fanfic writers.

Well, I did number 4 over here, and number 31 over here, but!

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

I prefer to write linearly, but it often doesn’t get to work out that way. I also outline things a lot, but not always linearly either, and I do a lot of early draft scenes before I even know where it’s going to fit into things because I have an idea and want to get it down right away quick.

Like, one example of this happening lately was a direct result of me trying to come up with a superhero team name that hasn’t been used already and getting so frustrated that I just went, “Okay, screw it, I’m not looking at this anymore tonight or I’ll just give up and name them The Fighting Mongooses — which isn’t even my joke to use, it’s an old Futurama joke.”

The scene idea that grew out of that is basically my three main mutant weirdos — Seb, Lucy, and Josie — trying to figure out a team name. It is pretty much entirely Lucy’s idea because all three of them are sorta vaguely related to the FBI’s department of mutant affairs, but Seb and Lucy are recently awakened mutants who are sort of on a trial run and not planning to stay with the FBI in an official capacity,

and Josie is stuck filling a few different roles for S.T.R.O.M.A (primarily that of media liaison and de facto team therapist) as a result of how they got recruited in the first place (which involved them accidentally getting on the wrong side of what they were allowed to do with the, “I’m a mutant but I really just want to live my life and not be a bother to anyone, superheroic shit sounds really stressful, let’s not” license, and getting caught, and being handed an offer that basically went, “Hey, come be on our team on a consultancy basis and we’ll make the censures all go away”)

—but none of them really likes working with S.T.R.O.M.A, for several reasons, and Lucy, bless her heart, thinks they should have a team and work together to be heroes.

This is a Thing that some super-powered people do, and teams are registered and licensed like mutants are in general — which isn’t actually sinister so much as tedious, like?

It’s a fair point that, when we’re talking about people who can breathe fire and shoot fricking laser beams out of their eyes and whatnot, then that is not really the same thing as the government trying to make people register on the basis of their race/ethnicity, religion, sexuality, etc. Like, yes, a lot of the rhetoric that can be pulled out in justification of this can be Bad, but we are talking about people who can exhale toxic gases, mind-control people, shoot freaking eye lasers, walk through walls, etc.

That’s all stuff that has legitimate, immediate potential to harm people, and a potential way to compromise — trying to keep everyone safer without infringing unfairly on the rights and civil liberties of mutants — is to treat it like getting a driver’s license. Like, acknowledge that most people didn’t ask for mutant superpowers and it’s not something that they can help (but it’s also a little more complicated than, “you have the mutant X gene so it’s mutant superpowers fun-time, whee”), don’t blame them (especially in the cases where really young kids have freak accidents with powers that no one suspected they had, and especially because there’s a tendency for that to happen in situations with kids who are being bullied or abused)

—but also acknowledge that these powers do have the potential to do a lot of harm, both to the people who have them and to others, and try to do whatever possible to make sure that resources are provided for mutants so that they can learn to control their powers and have the licensing laws in place to make sure that they get said resources. (This is obviously VERY ideal and it doesn’t usually work out so neatly because we’re talking about the U.S. government trying to do things, and there are so many factors — money,  institutionalized isms, public opinion, grassroots campaigns on all sides, fuckery in Congress or the different state and local legislatures, list goes on — that make this go other than as planned on paper. But in an ideal world, this is how it would play out.)

So, in this world, getting a mutant license can be done at the DMV or the local Secretary of State’s office (if you live in some place like Michigan where we’re a bunch of hipster fucks who refuse to just have a DMV), and there are some tests to go through, to prove that you’re not going to lose control of your powers in potentially lethal ways and make sure you know certain legal rules (e.g., “hey, we get it that you did not ask to have mind control powers, but using them to make someone have sex with you? That’s rape. Don’t do that, rape is wrong and you’ll go to prison”).

There are more tests to go through if you want to get the superhero license, but it’s still more comparable to getting a license to drive a motorcycle or a school bus than any of the other metaphors for registration that we’ve seen in different X-Men stories.

Some teams are even Big Deals and have corporate sponsorship and everything. Their members are basically celebrities (at least, the ones who are Big Deals on the level of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Iron Man, Ozymandias, or the old school Minutemen from Watchmen), and whether or not any of them are actually good at being superheroes anymore is a matter of some debate.

But in fairness, the smaller deal heroes affiliated with these teams are usually still doing the work, even if tools like Doctor Delphi pretty much have a few token acts of heroism, show up to NYC Pride every year, shoot commercials, and compulsively document their lives on Instagram, without doing any work that makes a meaningful difference at all.

Also, superhero comics and their related adaptations are still A Thing.

Like, I see where Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons were coming from by replacing the superhero comics with pirate comics — but I could also see people keeping superhero comics around even with irl mutant superheroes. You’d probably also see ex-heroes making memoir-style graphic novels, and not-that-thinly veiled versions of irl heroes showing up in the Batman or Hulk comics.

S.T.R.O.M.A has an entire sub-team whose primary job is going over comics, movies, YA lit, and all the rest to make sure that no one’s using, “lol fiction” to spill information that has a security clearance attached. They have a picture of Stan Lee on a dartboard because the sheer number of times they’ve had to investigate him is ridiculous. Their counterparts at MI6 have three filing cabinets just for JKR.

But Lucy is a really pumped up about this team idea, so she’s trying to get Seb (who is less than entirely jazzed about this concept but refuses to just let Lucy go do the thing on her own) and Josie (who has mixed feelings about the whole thing but is curious enough to come along for the ride) to help her come up with team names. Mostly, this involves the two of them shooting her ideas down as such:

Lucy: *suggests a name*

Seb: Marvel already has one of those.

Josie: Also, there are two real-life teams registered with that name and I think four different individual vigilantes.

Lucy: *suggests a different name*

Seb: DC got there first.

Josie: There aren’t any real world teams with that name, but it has been one of the most popular names independent vigilante names for five years running.

Lucy: *suggests, “The Crusaders”*

Seb: Ehhh, do we really want to invoke the Crusades? I mean, okay, the word sounds cool, but the Crusades were military campaigns of unlawful conquest and Islamophobic genocide. Ffs, did Sister Mary Ignatius stop teaching that in her history classes after I got forced out of St. Andrew’s or what?

Lucy: You actually paid attention in Sister Mary Ignatius’s history classes? Like, enough to remember them?

Seb: You didn’t?

Lucy: I had better things to do than give that old bat more than the bare minimum, Bastian. Like, y’know, extracurricular community college science classes because the science curriculum at St. Andrew’s was bullshit—

Josie: Let’s stay on topic. So, there’s already a fictional group that’s called the Crusaders, plus two real world teams, six indie vigilantes who call themselves. ‘the Crusader,’ and it’s also regularly found in weird compound names. I wish that I could bleach all memories of Captain Dick-Cheese Crusader from my mind, but alas, it doesn’t work that way.

And so on and so forth. Until they finally hit the point of Lucy going, “FINE. If you don’t like any of MY ideas, one of YOU suggest some already. jfc, you’re older than I am, why do I have to tell you both to be more proactive”

So, Seb suggests, “The Apostates” because it is the first word that comes to his mind aaaand…

Josie: While I am pleased to heard Seb suggest something first, there’s already a team registered by that name. They’re a bunch of alumni or former affiliates of Lehrer and Woodham who had various kinds of falling outs with the good Doctors, or had Yael and Elizabeth kick them off one of The Wardens or one of their other teams for some reason. Most of them are actually lovely people, but the one who calls himself Bocca Lupo is the woooooorst.

Seb: …Personal experience?

Josie: His civvies name is Danny Walker. He used to be a fashion photographer before he discovered his powers. He was my freshman year roommate at Pratt. We dated for a while in senior year—

Lucy: And he dumped you so now you’re bitter and being a pain in the ass about Seb’s suggestion because you’re still mad at him?

Josie: Oh, no. I dumped him. He wouldn’t stop acting like eating disorders are a joke after I told him that I have one to try and make him stop being like that to one of our classmates.

And then there was a bunch of backstory-expounding from Josie that tbh, isn’t going to end up in the full draft of this scene, ever, since it really needs to be spaced out more and woven into things a bit more naturally — but the endgame for the moment is still that any team names related to, “apostate” or, “apostasy” are vetoed in full because wow holy shit, Josie’s ex is a douchebag and that he’s one of the major players in the Brooklyn-based Apostates is really Not A Cool Thing

And I have no idea where this is going to fit into the story or when but

It’s a scene that I like and drafted out in my borderline-illegible longhand so I wouldn’t forget the idea

I forget how I wanted to wrap this post up, so

Uh…… *jazz hands*? yaaaaaay?

[percontaion-points]

Let’s Play “Moments: Siren Song” Part 1

The first day of high school on Halloween's eve. Our yet-unnamed MC is filled with eager anxiety over the entire thing as she approaches. She wants to be cool, but is also filled with doubts on if people would like her.

Cecilia. I think that she's the main character. And I must say, I really like this art style.

And Basyl, the friend. Please note how she's a POC. She'll probably leave as soon as the going gets tough, or a boy comes along.

The two of them walk to the school, where they find other kids being dropped off by their parents, talking with their friends, and generally doing stuff kids do before school starts. However, everybody seems to have already formed cliques, and Basyl asks in a very sssssnake-like way how it is that they're even supposed to fit in? Cecilia reassures her that they'll find a way.

They go inside, where they see a couple holding hands. Cecilia notes about how the guy smells like bacon, and thinks that he's wearing it like cologne. FRESHMEN. WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE SAID ABOUT BATHING. JFC WHY. Cecilia stalks after him, clearly intending to uh... eat him I guess? But Bee stops her, and says that we don't eat acne-covered freshmen. Cecilia screams about why she's obsessed with this gross kid, and asks that Bee bites her. She does, which makes her cry out in pain; this causes everybody nearby to turn and stare at them, before quickly running off, as if they'll catch whatever brand of crazy that they have.

Cecilia complains that Bee bit her, but Bee's like “bitch, you fucking told me to!” Bee then goes on to say that Cecilia was in a trance, muttering something about “that sweet, sweet neck!” Cecilia is just disappointed that she almost failed on the first day. Cecilia says that she needs to just introduce herself to others to make friends. Just then, three girls walk by, and Cecilia tries to introduce herself and Bee, but they ignore the new girls, and keep walking.

As the two navigate the halls, they find that people are insanely rude and pushy about everything. Bee asks where their lockers are, and complains that she's getting claustrophobic; she continues to talk like a snake, in case you're wondering. They find them, and Cecilia is disappointed that their lockers are in the middle of the hall. She asks if the other kids are always like this, and Bee agrees that personal space doesn't appear to be overly important to them.

Cecilia watches the kid at the locker next to hers balance so many books inside, she has no idea how he does it. She looks, and sees that his stuff is covered with “occult” type stuff, of sculls and ravens and the like. She asks Bee if there's some sports team called Crosseyed Lazer Sculls, but then Bee starts talking about some weird “sports team names” her dad once took her to...

They go to history class for first period, where Cecilia continues to act like a freaking weirdo when she sees all of her classmates. Bee has to remind her to stop being weird and just go sit down. They do, and watch the students behaving like students when the teacher has yet to show up. Bee watches a girl put on this mango-flavored lip-gloss, and then gets up and uses some weird hypnotism to convince them to let her borrow the lip-gloss. But Cecilia stops Bee from using her powers to convince the girls to let Bee bite them, which makes Bee kind of pissed off. However, the entire class noticed this exchange, and gives the two of them a weird look.

Enter le love interest, Brandon. (Of this I'm certain...)

The guy in front of them turns around to say hello, and asks if they're new. Cecilia agrees, and asks how he knows, to which Bee replies “because he's not a fuckwit and he's never seen us before?” to which Brandon agrees to. He goes on to say that he moves around a lot, so he's used to being the new kid. They introduce themselves, before the teacher comes in. As class gets started, Cecilia doesn't understand why everybody in class was so bored.

Outside once class is done, Brandon gives them a verbal tour of where everything is.

And then this guy, Jonah, comes over to them. He eagerly checks both of the girls out, and Brandon had to tell him to tone it down a bit. Brandon leaves for his next class, but Jonah does not. He introduces himself while giving a smooth pick-up line about the cute new girls. Bee walks behind where Jonah and Cecilia are, and then Cecilia kind of knocks Jonah out of the way before Bee can attack him. Which might have saved him, but as Bee is quick to say that it'll be hard to get rid of him now. But Cecilia isn't worry about that. Cecilia asks him about his day, and he asks about hers in return.

School ends without event.  As the two girls get swept out by the crowds leaving school, they find that it's a lot easier not to bite any of them. Cecilia is glad that the day is over, because she's never been around so many people before... she couldn't get a moment alone, not even in the bathroom. She comments about having survived the first day to Bee, who seems quiet and doesn't comment on this. As they go, they see Brandon, who waves at them. Bee suggests that they should explore the town a little since they haven't seen much of it. Cecilia agrees, and decides that it'll be a good time to ask Bee what's bothering her.

They walk along for a while, which is described as being “pretty empty”, which I find hard to believe after school just let out... Bee then notes that the beach much be near there, which gets both of them excited. They go down to the beach, where Cecilia loses track of time until Bee practically beats her to remind her of how late that it's getting, and that they should go home. Cecilia agrees, but then she jumps into the water, where she randomly starts playing with a dolphin. Bee is upset that Cecilia is obviously ignoring her, and chides her before Cecilia agrees that they should go home.

At their house, they're chided by Pete for being late.

Lyle comes downstairs to ask if they're okay. Bee explains that they wanted to look around the town some. Lyle is relieved, because he was worried that something had happened to them. They go upstairs, and Lyle asks to hear about their first day, and Pete echoes the sentiment of wanting to know. Bee doesn't say much, but Cecilia says that the kids were kind of “like us”, which Lyle is happy to hear about.

The two boys watch the trick-or-treaters below as the girls finish their homework. Pete nitpicks some of the costumes, and the others have to remind him that they're all children. Cecilia asks if it makes him homesick, and reminds him that it's okay to miss home. Pete says that they're going to be there until Christmas eve, so they should focus on that instead. Cecilia says to remember why they came here, and to have a good time until it's time to go home, which just pisses Pete off with how cheerful that she is.

Lyle wants to go outside, and the others debate on if it's a good idea. Cecilia thinks about how it's been 20 years “since the last time”, which was before Cecilia and Bee were born, and when Pete and Lyle were too little to “participate”. Apparently, the veil shifted, which allowed them to come to the town. Cecilia argues that this is their “human walk”, and that they need to be out there. This prompts them to think about how they were all raised learning about how there would be a time when they could pass as humans and go to the other side of the veil without hiding. Because when the veil shifts, then the monsters look like humans. However, they had no idea what they'd end up looking like on the other side.

Pete argues that they don't have costumes, and Cecilia insists that they can buy some. Lyle comments about how ironic that it is, and Cecilia points out that it's a very human thing to do. So they buy discounted Halloween stuff at a store that the girls had passed earlier. Then, they go out among the trick-or-treaters. Lyle wants to get candy, but Pete reminds him that candy is for children. Bee points out that people their own age are getting candy, some of them not even in costume. And they need to learn how to both act and eat like humans. Lyle gets distracted by the thought of eating the humans, which makes Pete think that they should get candy.

So Lyle and the girls go up to a house, where the lady has a creepy red riding hood vibe. I'm pretty sure Lyle is the wolf from that story, which is... weird. The girls have to hold Lyle back from attacking the poor old lady. She gives the three of them some candy, which Lyle almost instantly eats. Except that it's apparently gross to him.  Cecilia is kind of surprised, as she had been warned away from the school lunches, and she's also only a mostly liquid diet, so she hasn't had a chance to taste human food yet. She picks up a chocolate, and reads about how it's marshmallow covered in chocolate. She eats it, and is surprised that she likes it so much. She decides that she's going to fit in okay here.

[inkytsuki]

in celebration for kish’s birthday i’m rereading the annotated version of the original illu so here it is for ya’ll!!

Includes my annotations from the stream and all the mistakes i made when i was twelve. its horrible. you are welcome

tw for furry bashing (i actually love furries i just hate myself)

Prologue (cara literally wrote that monologue from the hangover about being a lone wolf

at the bottom of the page)

The name Illusien has a history. A special name, on Glacitoria. It means Illumination. The name has always been given to a young woman; never a man or boy. The woman would receive her powers on her 16tth birthday; from that moment on, she became the light of Glacitoria.    The name was only given every 110 years. The name was a promise, a promise of life. She would live 100 years (????), then ten more years later, she would be reborn. Each time a different woman, a different power, a brighter light.    Each reincarnation stronger than the last. The ruler of all, lover of all, protector, savior, queen……….

Chapter 1: Illusien

The bright sun shone in her eyes. She winced and squinted as she got up and closed the curtains. Amber slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the room searching from her stuff. Tommorrow (aces thats literally how i spelled it) would be her 16th birthday. She couldn’t stand waiting.    When all Glacitorian’s turn 16, they can have their genes tested, giving them the ability to obtain their powers, and move into the above ground planet with a real sun and sky. The artificial sky and sun we so annoying to Amber.    She slipped downstairs and ran out the front door.    "It’s so dirty down here,“ she thought (kill me). "All you can smell is dirt. I wonder if Alex is awake.” (still kill me) Her brown hair glowed red in the sunlight, her freckles lit up her face and her green eyes, murky green and swamplike, shone in the artificial sun. (this is so homoerotic i was so gay)    She wondered what it would be like above ground. She hoped it would be much more lovely than this. The thought of only having to be underground for 24 more hours was unbearable. She walked on back to the orphanage. Living in an orphange (FUCKING HELL KATIE CORRECTED THIS TO ORPHANGE) was not odd because after your 16th birthday you were sent up.    But, there were in fact squibs (robbed terminology from harry potter), whose (I CANT BELIEVE I USED THE RIGHT FORM OF WHOSE) genes did not match anything but human DNA. So they were not able to go above and were doomed to live underground. Most children did not know their parents.    Being so excited, Amber did not know what time it was. She looked at the clock. It was 9:30 pm. And then she drifted to sleep. (LEGENDARY)

—

Amber woke up. Happy birthday to me, she thought. She stood up and looked around her room. Lauren was still asleep. (who the fuck is lauren) Wearily, she quietly walked out of the room.    She slipped downstairs. Andrea, the squib owner, caretaker, was waiting for her.    "Are you ready Amber,“ she asked.    "Yes and no, and Andrea?”    "Yes Amber,“    "Is Alex comming?”    "Yes, Celia is bringing him,“    And they left.

—

Amber looked at Alex, her twin brother. He had her hair, but not her face nor eyes. He looked nothing like her. (he was ugly)    Knowing soon they would pass into the real Glacitoria, was hard. (not this shit again. ALSO RANDOM COMMA FTW) It was a heavy weight. Soon, they reached a large cave. Andrea and Celia stopped.    "We cannot go any farther,” said Andrea.    "You must complete the journey,“ this time the voice was from Celia. (??????)    Amber hugged Andrea good-bye. Alex walked on. They entered the cave. this cave was dingy and weathered. There was a trickle of water running down through the cave.    Amber and Alex kept on and the water grew stronger.    "I see light!” Amber exclaimed.    They crawled out. It was loud. The rumbling of voices filled the air. (WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE GO. THEY LITERALLY ARE IN THE WOODS ALONE FOR MONTHS OK) They walked towards a door-like arch.    "Name.“ A short man boomed from a window (HOW DOES SHE KNOW HES SHORT)    "Age.”    "Sixteen.“    "Today?”    "Today.“    He told her to step into the arch. She did so. A green light flashed around her. (Daisy??? is that you………??) She saw a tail pop out on her back and felt ears sprout on her head. Her hair turned dark red and she felt a warmth.    A spark. It landed on her finger tips and went inside her. Pop! (pop yep. i used the word pop. sound effects. slay.) A green (surprise) outfit surrounded her. Black gloves popped (ugh) on her hands.    A whisper. More whispers. Then she started to float down, the light drifted away. The whispers ceased.    The dwarf (NOW HES A DWARF APPARENTLY) seemed to be in a daze. But one word stayed on her mind.    Illusien.

Chapter 2: The Newest Light

"I’m afraid I’m gonig to have to tell you,” the dwarf (ah…continuity) said, “you’re goig to start to forget who you are. Then you will become someone new.” (DEMENTIA)    "Sir,“ said the girl (???? transition????) "does this have anything to do with that word, Illusien, I believe it was?”    "I’m afraid it does,“ the (very afraid) dwarf said in reply. "That is now your name. You are the new light for Glacitoria.”    It stuck in her head like chewing gum on a desk. ( i like this analogy katie said it was stupid) “You are the newest light for Glacitoria.” She had heard that name before. Illusien.        She thanked him and left. She hadn’t seen her brother (bother was accurate tbh) cross through. Her fox ears and tail twitched. (it pains me to write that.) She stood up. Maybe her brother was a squib.    The beauty of Glacitoria is more than I would ever imagined, with undisturbed nature, the girl thought, much better than underground.    The fresh air smelled and tasted good to Illusien. She closed her green, cat-like (shes a fox tho) eyes to take a deep breath. She felt herself bump into something. (SPOILER: IT KISH)    She opened her eyes and looked up. The soft hazel eyes that looked back at her calmed her. His dark hair gleamed in the sunlight (moonlight was written over this but im so confused)    Real sun(moon)light, she thought, no artifical stuff.    He looked at her with his soft gaze. (hes actually batshit and a brat haha) It made her want to melt. She couldn’t look away.    "H-hi-um i-urr,“ she stammered. (ATTRACTIVE)    "Hello, my name is Mikish,” he said (awkwardly) cooly. “You can call me Kish.”    "Hi, my name is Am–I mean Illusien (theres a little :) next to illusien),“ Illusien said. (cause…we needed…to…hear…her…name…again…)    "You know, you’re a legend,.” Kish replied, “( I ca nt believe i ha ve to ty pe this) A (ew) beautiful one at that,” he said looking her dead in the eyes.    She blushed. (cause thats what u do when a guy is creeping on you) Wait! Mikish, she thought, the words suddenly creeping into her head; he’s a legend himself!    "You know,“ said she (why), "your a legend too.”    "Really? I wondered why they acted all weird when I went through two years ago!“ he said sarcastically. (ive used all my exclaimation points for the rest of my life and its only page like 6)    She laughed. She couldn’t help it. (ew ew ewewewwe WHY DO I HAVE TO TYPE THIS) He was so (…………………) handsome, he made her (???? what is) want to sing Amazing Grace at the top of her lungs. (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)    "You tell my story (??),” Kish said, “And I’ll tell you yours.” (I love how there is always a break in the dialogue)

—

As Kish told her of her past, she watched him. All of his movents (?) so perfect, so smooth, so natural (i would fuckin hope so). He was a work of art.    She looked into his hazel eyes. They were so beautiful. He must be an angel, she thought. Only an angel could be so beautiful. (evan peters is actually weirdly attractive but lol)    Suddenly (obligatory anime faint) she was feeling super dizzy.    "Are you okay?!“ exclaimed Kish.    "Kish…” (jfc)    She closed her eyes and fainted. (why) (actually theres a reason but i didnt do this for that reason unfortunately)

–

(I do not want to type this part like no why WHY WHY DID I WRITE THIS. I LET PEOPLE READ THIS) It was dark. Illusien could hear the crackling of fire. She rolled over. Kish! Where was Kish? Kish came through the trees, carrying firewood. (another little :) )    "Well, you’re finally awake!“ Kish said.    "What happened?” asked Illusien, rubbing her head.    "You fainted!“ (he said mockingly as he laughed at her. he kept laughing. what a fucking idiot)    Oh no! (please dont make me do this) (this is literally right out of tokyo mew mew a la mode) I (plz) fainted in front of this (no plz) cute guy? (sigh) say it isnt so!

–

The fire was warm. Kish (sorry i changed POVs. now its in Kish’s pov????) looked up at her. She saw him and he averted his gaze. Her tail twitched as she sat across from him.    She pulled her hair back into (god fucking damn it. why why why why why why) ribboned (no) pigtails. Her bangs and (rolls eyes into the abyss) frames (anime hair sugoii desu) hung down. Her swamplike eyes lit up in the firelight.    His looked gray in the light. It made him look more handsome (so beautiful everyones so beautiful and white). If that was possible. (ew)    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Kish?“ (addressing one another by name so that the deer arent confused)    "You should get some rest. I’ll show you around in the morning. Don’t worry. (oh no  here we go with the white boy bull shit) I’ll always be around to protect you. Always. (haha nope)”    The words hung in her ears. (which ones) She smiled.    "Good night kish.“    "Good night, my light.” (next to it “awwwww how sweet” more like barf)

Chapter 3: Kish

“Good morning! ( :) )”    "Whaa!! (oh my god) Oh, kish!“    "Get up we must get going.”    "Kish (it looks like kush right here) what are you talking about? You sound worried!“    "I’ll tell you when we get there.”    "Okay. I trust you.“ (yoU ARE TOO TRUSTING) –

Her dark red hair bounced as they treaded through the woods. Her orange red ears stood straight up and her eyes on Kish.    The evergreen forest around her sent chills up her spine. She decided to follow behind Kish closer. She heard a stick crack. (ACTION)    "Kish! Get down!”    "What?!“    "Someone’s following us.”    They laid down behind a large log. Kish, she thought, where is he? (hes a fast little fucker apparently) Kish was gone. She heard a crack. Kish shot an arrow at their attacker. (apparently hes ann excellent marksman)    Illusien got up. She looked older now. (is this really the time for this) She didn’t think as she used to. (its been one fucking day) She walked over to Mikish, who was standing over the body. (who he killed with one shot. with a normal bow and arrow)    He picked up an amulet. “This belongs to Xalador (lmfao),” he thought. “This is what I feared!”

–

“Kish are we there yet? ( :) )”    "Almost.“    They stopped at a stream with a great water fall crashing down. (streams dont get great waterfalls…..like…no. just nope). It’s beautiful, thought Illusien, like nothing ive every seen!    "We’re here, Illusien.”    "Now tell me what we’re doing.“ –

"We are in danger. Mostly you. Do you know who Xalador is?”    "No.“ (why the fuck. she doesnt know anything shit head)    "He is a sorcerer (?). His power is greater than mine and has the ability to drain the power from you. That’s what he wants. Your power. He wants to destroy you

once and for all. If you are destroyed in your youth and not before your 100 years are up the light of Glacitoria will be extinguished forever.” (???????? okay whatever)    Illusien looked into his gray eyes. They had looked hazel the night before. His hair wasnt as dark either. It was sandyish. (jfc)    He looked at her with piercing eyes. (as piercing as an awkward 15 year old virgins eyes can be) She knew he was serious.

—

As she sat listening she had an eerie feeling as the words seemed to creep into her head:

“Mikish, the controller of mind (originally his power was water). King of all. Caretaker of Illusien. Always born two years earlier. He would follow Illusien through her journey.

Forever, until his destruction.” (too trusting)

–

They picked berries until the sun started to fade. They found their way back as it was almost sunset. Kish went to find firewood. (after sunset probably hes an idiot)    Illusien (being a fucking furry) started to play with a mouse. She got bored and killed it. (a symptom of both psychopathy and being a furry) She was about to eat it (?>>>????? fuckin furry) when Kish came back.    Kish was going to find some stones to start a fire with. He tried to strike a fire

with stones. (but he fuckin sucks so here we are) Illusien snapped her fingers and the logs burst into flames. (showy littl e cunt)    Kish looked at her. (he does that a lottttT) She smiled, proud of herself. She looked at him. She shivered.    "Good night Kish.“    "Good night Illusien.” Chapter 4: “What do we do?” (slay me already okay. also this chapter is literally 1 page front and back. thats it)

Illusien woke up. Kish wasn’t there. (this is a reoccuring theme)    "Kish?!“ (immediate panic. someone help her)    Kish was sitting on the cliff by the water fall. (okay so i have no idea why this is her immediate thought) "I wonder if I can fly or float or something like Kish,” she thought. (HOW DO WE KNOW HE FLIES??? THIS IS THE FIRST EXAMPLE AND LITERALLY NO ONE SAW HIM DO IT) She concentrated. The she floated up. She opened her eyes and flew foward slowly. She tapped down gently beside Kish. (nice to know she magically learned how to fly and is instantly incredible at it)    "Kish?“    "Yes, Illusien,”    (get ready for it. PREPARE YOUR SELF) “What do we do?” —

(OH GOD. OH GOD YES OH YES LMFAO YES)    "Lord?“    "Yes, Malaki?”    "We’ve located her.“    "Good. (fave fav e fave) Destroy her not. Lead her to me.”    "Lord, what shall we do about the boy?“    ”(THIS IS MY FAVORITE LINE) Bring to me him. I want to see the light leave their eyes.“ (?????????????? im like what cause thats not right but ok) —

Illusien waited for a reply from Kish. It was hard for Kish to say what to do. He did want to go through with it. (with what i m)    Kish thought a moment and then realized it had to be done.    "Illusien, we have to kill Xalador. If he doesn’t die, we surely will and the whole world will be under his control for all eternity. (i m laughing so hard rn)” Kish couldn’t look her in the eyes. He knew it was dangerous. But so was the rest of her life.    One mistake and all of Glacitoria will be gone forever, he thought. Or at least as we know it.    "Okay. But one question. How do we kill him?“ (illusien asking the important questions)

—

(wtf is this and why did i change povs and shit)    All of her past lives, thought Kish,she has defeated her enemies. Throughout all her reincarations she hasn’t failed. But what if this time, she doesn’t suceed??

—

Illusien looked around. Crack. Another crack. Something was out there. A dark shadow. It came closer. Then everything went black. (THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A NARCOLEPTIC EPISODE)

—

Chapter 5: Captivity (?)

Kish woke up. He looked around. Illusien was gone.    "Illusien!”    No answer. He waitied, she didn’t come back. He started on his way. He decided to fly up to see where was. No movement. He couldn’t see anything in the dense forest. He realized he had to track her, (this was good until this point right her) or lose her forever. (F ucKin)

—

Illusien startled. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Kish, she thought. She opened her eyes. She was not by the stream anymore. (THE WRITING IS SO LIGHT RIGHT HERE JFC)    Illusien felt the tears well up in her eyes. (shes a cryer unfortunately)She didn’t know where she was. A figure appeared in front of her. He smelled charred. (HE SMELLED OF BURNING FLESH. WHAT A FUCKING GREAT DESCRIPTION 12 YR OL D ME BYE) And dingy. (nice. a real man) He leaned down and gave her a hand. (like a real anime gentleman) When she stood her green eyes met his equally murky eyes.    His dark hair blew in the wind (fuck) as he looked down at her. (wait i lied this is my favorite line) He didn’t look like a kidnapper.    "Hello.“ He said with a (totally sugoi) bow. (who the fuck does this little shit think he is.) ("I just met you and this is crazy. But i just kidnapped you. so fuck me maybe”)    Illusien though for a moment, then said, “Hello.” though “why did you kidnap me” would have been more appropriate. (narcolepsy man)    His murky eyes glistened (ANIME). Suddenly, she (sighhh) felt weak in the knees. She couldn’t move, she couldnt run, she couldnt (fucking stop making run on sentences?) do anything. (its the GHB in your system, honey. hes a creep.)    He was (no good god why did) even more handsome that Kish. (not rly tbh) He was hypnotising. Finally, he spoke up. (did they just stare at each other for like 2 minutes bc)    "My name is Luke. I have saved you.“

—

"My lord, we have lost her.”    "Well, then Malaki, find HER!“    "Lord Xalador.:    "Yes Jesse”    "Malaki you tell him.“ (pussy)    "Lord, we think she has found the boy.”    "Do NOT (underlined very heavily) let them get away!!“ (they already…ok) —

Illusien sat across from Luke. It was all confusing to her. (you are too trusting. he could be anyone. he could be a serial killer. a rapist. i mean. you faint all the time. you  need to g et away) The journey had not yet begun (what mother fuckin journey are you prattling about) and where was Kish? "I have saved you” From what?    She took a bite of the delicious (why was i such a fuckin weeb) rice cake, it was delicious (SLAY Me). Then she looked at Luke. (she looked at look is what i wrote the first time lmao) He stood. She stood too.    "Luke?“ (she always addressed people by their name like theres someone else there)    "Yes?”    "What have you saved me from?“    (DRUMFUCKInrOLL) "Mikish.”    "Mikish?“    "Yes. You must not believe him. He is a deciever!” (did i just watch spy kids 3)    "Kish?“ Illusien said. "He just doesn’t seem the type.” (what exactly is the type? since….theyre decieving you???)    "Oh but he is. He works for Xalador!“ (zaxbys he works at zaxbys)    "What can you tell me about Xalador ?( :D)”    "He is new to Glacitoria. Very young. In the four months you have been in Glacitoria he have been rising, plotting your downfall.“ (it has literally been like 3 days max. MAX)    "Why was I chosen?”    "You will find out. Illusien, you are the light. You are our queen, and our savior. Now, you should be worried about destroying Xalador.“ (he dont know. cryptic little shi.t)    Illusien looked up. She didn’t remember who she was anymore. (??) She turned to face Luke, who was standing behind her.    "Luke, I don’t know who to trust, anymore.”    "You can trust me.“    "Well. That’s exactly what Kish said.” (SASS)

—

Lord Xalador stood. He was ready to destroy all surrounding him.    "Malaki (i cant wait till i ge t to the glorious mispelling of his name), why is it the simple things I ask of you and Jesse, never get done!“    "Sir, we try our best.”    "Your best is not suitable!“ (wreckd)    "Lord, may we add that–”    "Jesse, fetch me Mikish.“ —

Illusien looked up (she does that a fuckin lot) throught the trees. The tall oak she was under glistened with dew. "You can trust me.” Can I really trust him? she pondered. Is he right about Kish?    Luke walked around the tree to where Illusien was sitting. He looked at her. She caught his gaze and he looked away. (ahh. romance.)    "Illusien?“    "Yes?”    He reached around his neck. He took off his necklace. It had a ruby on the end.    "I want you to have this.“ (white boy gift)    "Your pendant?” (fuckin wait for it)    "No. My promise. ( :) )“

Chapter 6: Lessons

She let her hair down. (god damn it) She brushed through it. (katies annotation on the page: "WHERE IN THE HELL DID SHE GET A BRUSH?”) Luke, it bounced through her head, Luke. (new hotter boy instant crush) She clutched the pendant with one hand. She closed her eyes. (was this it? was this the boy she was going to give her virginity to? was this love? she had his necklace, a part of him, a symbol of his affection. theyd only known each other a day, and he hadnt even asked her to be his girlfriend….but still…the necklace had to mean something….right????)    She looked over at Luke. He was still sleeping. She stood, put out the fire, and went to sleep. Luke opened his eyes (like a fuckin creeper), snapped his fingers and the log burst back into flames. (WHHHHAAAT)

— (HOLY SHIT THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AND I LOVE THIS PART BYE) The sun shone through the trees. Kish was on his way to Xalador’s castle. He was upset with himself. He thought, why did I let her get away? Lord, oh god, the Lord will probably kill me, I wasn’t (best spelling mistake ever) supposeded to let her go.    He shook his head. I didn’t want to bring her in the first place. (!!!!) No use fighting emotions now. He couldn’t believe he let himself fall in love with her. (in 3 days nonetheless. impressive)    He looked up, the castle was just up ahead. He took a deep breath and pushed her out of his head for a moment, and headed inside. (this isnt the part i thought it was)

—

“So who is this Xalador guy any ways? I mean seriously, no one will tell me anything.”    "When the time comes, you will know.“ (this guy is useless. he aint know shit from dirt)    "Why does everyone keep saying that?” (because i was twelve and hadn’t actually come up with anything yet. i literally sat in my prealgebra class and wrote you)    "Because it’s true. You will know the horrible truth when the time comes,“ he paused, "and that is a promise.” (grOSS LITTLE SHIT STOP SAYING THAT)    Illusien looked away. (b-baka!!) She knew he would keep his promise. She clutched her necklace, closed her eyes, and turned to face him.    "What about my brother?“ —

"Mikish, your late.” (a wizard is never late, frodo baggins. nor is he early. he arrives precisely when he means to)    "Yes, my lord, I know, I apologize.“ ("I brought starbucks tho.” “You asshole! I only drink coffee from joe muggs! the cafe inside books a million!! sarah is my favorite barista!1” “OH NO SORRY MY LORD”)    "Where is the girl?“ (he asked, stroking his hairless face. he was a dark lord. why could he not grow facial hair.)    "Lord, you must understand, I, I…I lost her. She was kidnapped in the night.”    "Useless! Everyone of you. Malaki, Jesse, and you, of all people, Mikish I trusted you to bring her to me!“    "My lord! I really,  please I beg of you, one more chance.”    "Fine, Mikish. Get out of my sight.“

—

"Your brother, made it through, that’s true. But I say with a heavy heart, I cannot tell you what has happened to him.”    There was a brief silence between them. She (surprise) looked up at him.    "Teach me. Teach me to control my powers, Luke. I know you have the power of fire just like me. So teach me.“    He hesitated, "Okay Illusien, I promise.” (shuuuuut uppppp) —

(OKAY I LOVE THIS PART LMAO) How could I be so stupid? Kish kicked a tree. I can’t believe I did this. (from this point on katie is writing the scene and im helpingokay sorry. this is us together.) She probobly is sitting with the rebel boy, and he is telling her who i really am. He pulled at his hair in frustration. Lord Xalador expected Kish to bring Illusien to him.    How did Xalador talk me into this? If only I’d known……… (katie wrote: “how much of a slut she is…..” jfc man we were so brutal to this poor narcoleptic furry) Luke looked at Illusien. Her breathing was soft and light. She looked so much beautiful when she slept. (lmfao im dying rn so much beautiful) She was peaceful. The questioning look on her face was gone. (im always so confused by the weird out of context things katie wrote. like wtf was she talking about.)    He could see the damage Kish had done. (da…mag..e…??/) She stirred slightly. He wondered what she dreamt about. Kish had put through her head so many lies. Luke could see she didn’t want to believe him about Kish. (reasonable…since she doesn’t even know you dude.)    Her gentle nature was greater than he had ever seen. (oh not this fucking bullshit again comE ON) Her radiance and beauty were equal to her personality. (nonexistant??? cause really shes kind of like a brick.) (katie wrote: “bullshit! :)”)    Illusien shivered in her sleep. He walked over and covered her with his blanket. She calmed. He wouldn’t need it anyway because he wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. (…..what he gonna do bc,)    Kish would be on his way to find her at anytime and he had to be alert. (right. cause kish is the biggest threat in the whole forest. im laughing too har d omg)

—

Kish wandered through the forest. He couldn’t find her. It’s no use, he thought, the rebel boy has probably taken her out of the woods by now any way. (neg. also THE REBEL BOY WHY DID WE CALL HIM THAT IM GONNA PEE.)    Kish was confused. He wanted to be with her but he wanted her to be safe. (be…with…her……..youve known her like 4 days, kiddo. you just…want…other things ok)    He knew this was impossible, but he couldn’t think clearly anymore.    The other night he had read into her thoughts. He implanted false thoughts and sensed where she was. (sensed where she was?? ok katie PLEASE explain this to me i do not understand your reasoning behind this.) HE COULD DO THAT AGAIN!!! DUH!!!! (i dont think m y commentary is necessary on this lmao) The answer was right there! But did he want to put her in jeporady? (thats how its spelled) (katie loved loved loved the word jeopardy) As soon as they were together again, she would be in trouble. (understatement of the generation. TROUBLE. HA. more like mildly mortal peril)    If he could just decide! Thoughts kept whirling through his head. If he sacrificed her safety for his pleasure (WOW. WOW. WOW. THATS HIGHLY INNAPPROPRIATE WORDING FOR A TWELVE YEAR OLD. WOWZA) he would be a jerk. If he didn’t look for her, he would be killed.    Maybe they just weren’t meant to be………….

—

Illusien stirred. She slowly opened her eyes. It was morning. (WILL LUKE BE THERE.) She looked down and realized that Luke had given her his blanket in the night. The fire had long since gone out.    She wondered where Luke was. She hadn’t seen him since last night. (OH NO)    As hard as the truth is to realize, Illusien said to herself, I’m starting to believe Luke. (under what basis? you’ve hardly spoken to the guy, and the only thing you really know about him is that he’s kinda cute and he smells bad. he told you that the last guy you were with was the bad guy but you didn’t really have any stock yourself that made it fit and you have absolutely no reference that can tell you if thE MAN WHO KIDNAPPED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH) (like sorry that birdman jr told you no flamingos when it came to kish but like you dont really know either of these guys) I mean, if kish was really that worried about me, wouldn’t he come looking for me? (girl)    And waht about when I brought up the subject of Xalador? He spoke hesitantly and always seemed to be hiding something. (did he??) Luke, wouldn’t lie to me, would he? (YOU DONT KNOW THAT.)    Luke, she was starting to fall for him. (YOUVE DECIDED THIS IN LESS THAN 3 PAGES) He was handsome and charming. (not the word i would use) But still, she still was getting over how Kish had built up her trust and was going to turn her over to the “Lord Xalador”. (but still she still)    She sensed Luke in the near distance, heading back. (her furry senses were tingling) Illusien quickly made sure her hair was in place, her ears neat, her tail shiny, and that she had nothing on her face. (picturing her grooming herself was the least attractive thing and im sure luke is not into furries either…however…..birdman jr)    Luke approached her. “Good morning.”    "Good morning, Luke,“ she blushed.    "I assume you’re ready for your lessons today.”    Lessons! Shoot! (shoot. shoot. i said shoot) I had forgotten about those. Of course I’m not ready! But I can’t let him know that!!    (katie wrote most of this scene lmao)“Okay, first, Illusien, you need to stand on that rock.”    "Okay, now what?“    "Incenerate that tree!!!” (god)    "What? OH!“ She snapped her fingers and pointed at the tree.    "It didn’t work, Luke.”    "You have to concentrate Illusien.“    She tried again. She thought only of what she was doing. (thats kind of shitty??/ like you have super powers but theyre INCREDIBLY difficult to use. like if you get mildly distracted they don’t work anymore) She snapped her fingers and the tree bust into blue flames. (i wrote that the flames were blue bc blue/white is REALLY HOT FIRE. but….then katie picked up after this paragraph.)    "Luke, why did it burst into BLUE flames?”    "Because the tree posed no threat to you. Your powers are enhanced when you are angry or scared. I am also holding back your power. (HOW IS HE DOING THAT. THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM) If I didn’t, you would probobly set the whole forest on fire.“ She gave him a questioning look. (ME TOO ILLU. What he’s describing as what he’s doing: holding back your power, sounds an awful lot like xalador’s power. because xalador drains the power from others. If Luke has the ability to siphon off her power, that would most definitely point to an ulterior motive in this plot. so thanks for making shit up katie. congrats on being 12)    "Illusien, your power is so great, so powerful, that you have enough to light Glacitoria. So, you could easily set fire to this forest. Your powers need to be controlled. This is what I’m trying to teach you.” She nodded and hopped off the rock.    "As long as you are with me Luke, I think I’ll be just fine.“ (my face right now. just imagine it. like ew no stop jfc) Illusien stared deep into Luke’s eyes (fidskfvcmdcx vfv) . Luke took her hand. (hand is darkened and underlined like 13 times and im so disappointed in katie rn. i trusted her) (thank god i write the next tiny little section)

—

Kish’s anger was getting worse. There was nothing to hold him back. He hated Xalador, but he knew this is what Xalador wanted, but he felt he must find her. (OOPS. NOT FINGER HER OMFG.) (ALSO THAT SENTENCE MADE NO SENSE) The conseqences were great, but he wanted to be with her more than l fe (thats what it says??) itself, and nothing was about to stop him. (oh gross, me. wtg. thats just. no. save me from myself)

—

Luke (was is scratched out) is incredible! He has taught me to control and use my powers. (literally no he didnt. you stood on a rock and he talked about how you were so stupid that you were going to burn the whole world down. which is actually probably right) But what would I do without him, she throught. (IM PISSING @ THROUGHT)    I’m just taking a quick break, but still. I wonder how he knew where I was the other night. (a little thing called stalking..?) Never mind that. (NEVERMIND THAT???? YES MIND THAT. YES MIND THAT WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING) Oh Luke’s calling me. I wonder what I’ll have to do now. Oh well as long as I’m with him. I know I’m safe. (YOU DONT KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT. I REALLY WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TEACH YOU SELF DEFENSE. AND IDK TEACH YOU ANYTHING ABOUT  ANYTHING OKAY IM A CONCERNED MOMMY)

—

Luke looked at Illusien. (he couldn’t believe she was this niave. It was far too easy to get her alone. Insert creepy thoughts here bc that hair is not the scariest thing about him ok) She seemed ready to start again.    "Okay, Illusien, stand on the rock again.”    Illusien stood upon the rock. (fun fact, this whole thing still takes place in my old back yard in my head bye)    "All right, now concentrate, (NO NO NONONONONOONNOONNOONONNONNNNOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO) (WHY WAS I SUCH A FUCKIKNG IDIOT. THIS IS THE MOST EMBARASSING THIHNG WHY DO I HGAVE TOT TYPE IT) think a feeling, a wonderful feeling, a time or place or thing that makes you feel such a way. Let it fill you. Now fly.“ (JUST KIDDING. LUKE IS ACTUALLY PETER FUCKING PAN GOOD BYE)    She did as he said. She let it fill her. She started to rise. Up higher and higher. She was flying!

—

Kish was still looking for Illusien. He looked up. Illusien, he thought. Now’s my chance!    "Illusien!” —

Illusien opened her eyes, she was falling. The ground was getting closer. (I LITERALLY JUST REALIZED THAT I WROTE THIS EXACT FUCKING SCENE IN VIOLETS THING A YEAR LATER THATS HOW ROMANTIC AND GREAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. BYE) She closed her eyes and braced herself. She felt something catch her and break her fall.    She opened one eye. Luke, had caught her. (unnecessary commas FTW) She blinked.    "Luke,“ her cheeks flushed. (WHY DOES THE TOP OF LITERALLY ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PAGE JUST HAVE "Ichigo” WRITTEN THERE.)    Luke let her down. (she was grateful for that. She would have been much more grateful, however, if Luke would take a god forsaken bath. He smelled so rancid as their bodies pressed against one another. It was off putting.) Illusien stared deep into his eyes. Luke pulled her into a kiss. They were so close she could feel his heart beat. (wow)    It was long and slow. (cool) Illusien finally pulled away at the sound of a rustling in the bushes.

—

Kish stepped out of the bushes. (Sniveling, he tried to look like he hadn’t started to cry, but his eyes were telling all sorts of tales, brimming over with salty liquid. Not tears. They most definitely were not tears. He wasn’t crying.) He had a look of anger on his face. (But it wasn’t anything more than a facade. He was hurt, hurt right down to his core.) Luke stepped out in front of Illusien.    "You stay away from her, Mikish! You’ve done enough damage already!“    (He clenched his jaw, his hatred of Luke allowing him a new strength. His voice came out in a growl, his loathing dripping out the way an angry dog drools, throwing its barks directly at what’s pissing it off.) "Fool. (the best insult in the world) You don’t know who you’re messing with, Rebel. Now step aside, Rebel, she’s mine.”    "No. I won’t. You’re selfish and evil ways won’t prevail. (oh god why did i) Eat fire! (eat. fir re. good by ee. RIP in piss @ me) Luke shot a fireball at Kish. Kish stood. (aflame. He was aflame, burning alive in his own homosexuality) (seriously tho he just stands up like nah u cant burn me bitch )    "I see. But this won’t be the last you see of me. Illusien, I’ll be waiting.“ (thats…it?? wow way to be a man mikish) He took one, longing look at Illusien. She was staring at him with a blank look, her cheeks still flushed from kissing Luke. He shook his head and walked away. He could feel the both of their gazes on him. He just kept on walking. (oh, bae.)

— Chapter 7: Love and HATE

"Luke, ”    "Illusien, we have to be careful now.“    "I know, I just don’t know what to do.” Her tears stained her cheeks. (are they ink bc thats not how that works.) Luke put his arms around her.    "I just worry for your safety, Luke.“ —    (YES MORE ANGRY KISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIT) I should have known! Kish hit his head with his hand. How could I be so stupid? She doesn’t love me; she loves the rebel.    He kicked himself. She’d either be his or die at the hand of Xalador. He would take care of the rebel himself.    Oh, how he hated the rebel. He envied him for stealing her heart before he had a chance. Before…….(oops! wait)… Before……….. (before kish was able to lose his virginity?? is that what we’re getting at bc………….. lol)

—-

Luke could’t believe what had just happened. He and Illusien finally had a moment to themselves, what he had be wanting for such a long time, and he couldn’t enjoy it. (you have literally been alone together this whole time i’m/)    Mikish had ruined everything. They had to move on. Mikish would surely tell Lord Xalador their whereabouts.    He hated to see the tears in Illusiens eyes. The look of terror on her face had startled him.    He would do anything for her, even sacrifice himself. (plz do. right now) Her beautiful face had been twisted with fear and he kept replaying in his mind.    He was (god fucking damn it) truly in love with Illusien. (do they live on a planet where love is just constant and always in your face bc) He had never been this way toward anyone else. Now that Kish had been angered (Aangered. lmfao), he would be attacking Illusien’s thoughts more often. (WHY DID I NOT DEVELOP ON THIS. okay its very important to note JUST HOW OVER POWERED KISH IS. Kish literally has the ability to read peoples mind/change their thoughts/manipulate them/possess peoples minds/detatch his own soul from him body. BU T THATS NEVER COVERED. KISH LITERALLY IS SO FUCKING POWERFUL)    And Luke could not see this happen to her anymore. Illusien gentle touched her fingers to her lips. She couldn’t believe Luke had kissed her. (good fucking god no this is some bull) She rememebered seeing Kish and his anger and jealosly (scratched out and corrected to jeluosly and then jealosy. are either of those correct even ) and the hatred in his eyes.    His words would haunt her forever. She flushed at the thought of Mikish. (what)    Luke was right. Kish is just a deciever. What was I thinking trusting him? He was just thinking of himself. She hated Kish. (wow) There were not many she hated. (IM HOWLING RN LMAO)    She leaned against the tree. Still in shock over what had just happened. (thats not a sentence.) She needed Luke more than she knew. (ew good lord, abraham help little me. some force go back in time and just delete this sentence from existence.)    (top of the page reads: “KATHERINE JANE PARR LUVVS THIS BLUE PEN!!!!”) An eerie feeling crept over her. She stood motionless.    "Luke?“ (OH FUCK WHERE IS HE)    Silence.    "Luke?” (UH Oh)    Silence. She (FUCKING HELL THIS TYPO IM LAUGHING SO HARD) turened around. A dark figure appeared behind her. (i hope its luke)    "(man fuck 12 year old me) How dare you deny me. Illusien, (MAN FUCK 12 YEAR OLD ME) oh yes, you shall now have to choose between me and death!“ (bye im dead)    "Kish?” She backed up. “Luke! Help!” (damn it) (this scene is so)    He darted at her. She flew up. She shot a burst of flames at Kish. Luke appeared below her. He shot a burst as well. (this aint a scene) (its a goddamn cry for help)    "Go back to the shadows Mikish.“ (didnt i already say this shit? it was stupid the first time)    "Not without her, Rebel.” (why did we call him that its not cool)    "She’s not going anywhere.“ (why dont we let the lady decide?)    "Then I’ll kill you.” (WHOOOOAAAAAA. WHOAAA. DUDE CHILL.)    Illusien stepped out in front of Luke. “You will not Kish. (why nottttttt its turkey season) I don’t plan on going anywhere with you anytime soon.” The tears poured down her face as she said this. (bitch y u cryin)    "I’m not going with out you Illusien!“ (normally this would be when he became a weird 3rd wheel companion and they became his parents lmao but)    "I’m not going with you, I plan on staying with Luke.”    "I could make you (ew wwww ui dont wanna type this part) b(ereeewwwww) my (fjkldsadhfldjfkldjfkdjkfjdk) pup (py he sai d puppy) pet if I wanted to.“    "But you won’t. So if you would kindly leave.” (WHOA. FIRE QUEEN ICE COLD SIR)    "This isn’t the end. I will never surrender.“ (im so glad i learned how to write dialogue) And he left.    Illusien dropped to her knees. Luke picked her up in his (sighs forever) strong arms. He carried her back to the campsite. (thank god this sce ne is over)

—

Luke laid Illusien down. He looked at her. (way to be a creep. just stare at her. im sure she doesnt mind) He knew it was hard for her. Her first battle, it must have been rough. I’m starting to worry about her though. (random shift into first person ok)    She’s scared of what will happen next. I can honestly say I don’t blame her. (this next part was written so light that i thought the chapter was over)    He kissed her gently on the lips. She smiled back at him. She dropped her head and fell unconscious. (SLAY ME) (BURY ME IN SATIN) (NARCOLEPTIC FURRY MAN)    He covered up. (a gentleman) They could move in the morning. She needed to sleep. Her first battle would be the worst. (I HIGHLY FUCKING DOUBT THAT. THERE WERE LIKE 3 MOVES MADE???? i mean like yeah the first gym leader is harder to beat but like then you get a solid team going an shit but like the elite four??? ok)

—

Kish stomped off. (surprise) If only he could lure the rebel and Illusien somewhere towards the castle. Or at least get them away from each other. But Illusien wasn’t ready fight yet and Killing the rebel with her alive would cause her to hate him, although she already did. (what is happening)    He sat down. He had to come up with a plan. Just what would he do? (who knows man)

—

"Jesse, has he found them again?”    "Yes my lord. He had told us where they are.“ (how ???HOW YALL BITCHES AINT GOT PHONES????????????????????? TELL MEE. like i just came up with a way literally right now but i was 12 so)    "Good. If Kish has fought them–”    "He has.“ (imagine Xaladors face at being interrupted. imagine the angry egg salad)    "Then she will be weak. She will have to rejuvinate the entire night.” (ooooohhhhhhhhh so tough to do??? like go to sleep shes really good at that)    "Yes sir, that is correct.“    "Malaki, send some troops (this is where the random troll army comes in???) in. I want to capture her while she’s weak.”

—

Illusien opened her eyes. She was feeling better. Luke was sitting by the fire. (INCREDIBLE. HALFWAY THROUGH THE NOVEL WE SEE SOME INCREDIBLE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. LUKE IS THERE WHEN SHE WAKES UP FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.) She stood. She walked over to Luke. She sat next to him. (good sweet bagel bread wtf is this bullshit why )    "Luke we have to do something soon.“ (damn not even a good morning)    "I know. But I don’t want to lose you.” (bitch aint no one said shit about losing no one?? chill)    "Luke, you won’t. And that is MY promise.“ (deep fry me and put chocolate sauce on me because im so fucking done)

—

(this whole next page is scratched out. who knows what it holds but im gonna decipher it) Luke looked at Illusien. she was worried and knew they had to move soon. He looked into her murky green eyes, then looked away. (jfc man. youre so pathetic)    "If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”    "And I’d never blame you, Luke. I love you.“ (BYE FELICIA. IM DONE WITH U)    He pulled her close. she buried her face in his chest. She looked up at him.    "We have to kill him soon.” (NOW WE’RE TALKING. THIS IS WAHT I CARE ABOUT GIRL)    Illusien looked at Luke. (they do that so much) (also looked at look. ive always done that so muc h lmao) She held her breath.    "I know we’ll head there soon. Just not yet. You’re not ready.“    "Luke will I ever be read? Of course I won’t. But I know what I must do and I intend to do it.” She pulled away from Luke.    "At least rest the night you’ll need your strenghth (lmao). Promise me this.“    Her cheeks flushed.  "Fine, but we’ll head tomorrow.”    Luke pulled her into another kiss and her flush disappeared. She didn’t pull away. He broke away and kissed her forehead. “Good night.” Chapter 8: Destiny’s light

(at the the top of this page i wrote: “IM CHECKING OUT AT 11:30!!!!!” and katie wrote underneath it: “YOU GAY CRACK MONKEY” good lord) “Illusien must die now. Jesse, I cannot wait any longer. Malaki’s troups (is that the correct spelling i dont think so) should have found them by now.”    "Yes, my lord, we understand.“    "Hurry, we don’t have all night.” — “Luke I can’t sleep anymore.”    "It’s alright then. Just sleep as much as you can.“ (when the narcoleptic furry cant sleep)    (this whole part is scratched out, but as the rules say, i have to type it) Illusien scooted closer to Luke. (lol no wonder. Katie wrote like this whole page) He looked away.    "Illusien.”    "Yes, Luke?“    "Maybe it’s best if we…..”    "Yes?“    "Nevermind, Illusien. It isn’t right.” (is he askin to fuck bc)    "Okay…..“ She gave him a quesitoning look. He shook his head. (HE WAS)    Illusien took his hand. He brushed it off and got up. ("That’s not helping my boner, Illu.”)    "What is wrong, Luke?“    "Nothing.”    "Don’t say that. I know something is wrong. You don’t brush me away from you for no reason.“ (???? im lost af tbh.)    "Alright, it’s just that I keep thinking that you and me together are bring Mikish here. He seems to be drawn to us.”    "I don’t think so. It’s just his jealousy of you.“ (okay so disregard everything in that blurb because it makes no sense)    "I just can’t help feeling you know if he’s watching our every move.” (??? what does this even mean or say) `    "I know I get the same feeling.“ She looked at him dead in the eyes. (notice she didn’t look him dead in the eyes. she was dead in the eye in this sentence. amazing what one word can change)    "And that’s why I seek your comfort.” (they fuckin yall) —

Why did I tell them where they are? Kish felt like a total idiot. Now she will die. This massacre of my own heart, killing itself and all others in its path. (THERE I AM. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL METAPHOR. I WAS IN THERE SOMEHWERE)    Hot tears streamed down his angry face. He hated her, he loved her. He hated the rebel, the rebel loved her, she loved the rebel back. He hated himself. (man this is good. of course i could write angst)    He looked to the sky. A cloudy night. Ugly, he said to himself, just like the rest of this world, all of the world, (especially Luke. Goddamn that fucker was ugly), except her.

—

Illusien sat away from Luke. She closed her eyes. She turned away from him. After their conversation she could bear to look at him. She knew he was trying to protect her but of ocurse she wished they didn’t have to worry about each other’s safety. (healthy relationships normally don’t have that element)    Illusien wiped the tears from her eyes. If Luke hadn’t saved her she would be dead. But of course, now he pushed her away. The tears came again. (GIRL YOU DONT NEED A MAN. MAYBE A HOSPICE NURSE, BUT NOT SPECIFICALLY A MAN)    She heard a nose. (not a noise. a nose) Then a rustling in the bushes. She looked, the movement stopped. (this part is so ?/?) Her hair had grown long. She picked at it. The rustling resumed. (the fuck was that about lulu. why was that a necessary detail @ 12 yr oldme)    Luke stood. Illusien looked at him. (THIS PART IS SO WTF WHY DID I DO THIS BECAUSE IT AINT MAKE A LICK OF SENSE) Then thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands (thats a v big jump in numbers) of Malaki’s troups poured in.

—

“My lord, I have good news.”    "What is it Jesse?“    "Malaki has found them and the ambush is in process as we speak.” (UHM HOW DOES HE KNOW HOMIE)    "Good. Tell Malaki to kill no one. Bring them all to me.“

–

Illusien let out a scream as she was quickly aprehended. It all seemed like it was in slow motion to Luke.    (this is my favorite part) "ILLUSIEN!!!!!”    He fought the troups. He made his way to Illusien. He was in arms reach of her hand. He went for it, but just grazed her fingers.    "I’m sorry,“ he called back. He looked at the face of the one holding her. Maliki himself. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MALIKI) The scar across his face contrasted her beauty. He was pulled away. Tears stained his eyes. (inky ass tears) He was trampled, and that was the last thing he saw, troll feet. — “Illusien.”    She blinked awake.    "Illusien.“    Her dream faded. She was alone. (yet another kink coming guys. i do not disappoint.) The rusty bars gave away her location. Xalador’s dungeon. A gruff voice mumbled behind her. (and to the end of the line we have <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3)    (And here, I blatantly stole shit from Aladdin, a movie that Im not even fond of) She turned. An old man (????/??) sat behind her. He saw the tears on her face. (i wish yall could see my face right now because i am looking so concerned for this b)    "What’s the matter with you?”    "I just want to see them one last time.“ (girl chill dont be laying it all on this brother. YOU AINT KNOW HIM)    "Who?”    "Luke and my brother.“    "Ah the love of your life and the brother you miss dearly.” (yeah, martha stewart we don’t need your commentary)    "Yes.“    "Well, I can’t promise you’ll see this Luke person again, but you will see your brother again.”    Then he seemed to disappear. She was once again alone. (WHERE DID HE GO. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT SIGNIFICANCE DID THAT HOLD)

—

“Lord, she’s in the castle dungeons."        "Good job, Malaki. Now resume your post.” (which is?)    "Yes, sir.“    "Jesse, go check on our other prisoner. He might like to see Mikish,” he said with an evil smile. (THE TRIFECTA)

—

Luke woke to a great darkness. The silence was eerie and there was little light. (theres little light in this story anyway. as in little hope that its ever going to get better.) (I JUST REALIZED WHAT PART THIS IS AND IM GOING TO VOMIT) A red crystal appeared in the distance. It light up the darkness. There seemed to be no ground. He seemed to be floating between life and death. (how does that seem exactly)    A slight humming noise accompanied the crystal. It was growling (i think i meant growing) closer. A sound was comming from the crystal, getting louder as it grew closer. A heartbeat.    It grew closer and closer until it shattered. The beating still growing louder and louder. then he realized it was the beating (blehgggg) of (ew) her broken heart. (????/ she aight actually.)

—

Kish was in pieces. He had been called to see Lord Xalador again. He knew that they had found Illusien and the rebel boy. (scratched out bc i was literally about to PUT IN ANOTHER GUY BECAUSE LULULUKE WASNT WORKING: “He had never even found the chosen boy”) He himself had failed his task. As soon as Xalador released him, Malaki would kill Kish.    Either way, he was dead. Now, he had to make a decision; to run or face his fears.

—

Illusien sat alone. She kept thinking about how she would die and never see Luke or her brother again.    "Amber?“    "That name sounds familiar.”    "Amber is that you?“    "I don’t know you! I don’t know any Ambers!” (poor narcoleptic furry with amnesia)    Then she saw the face, the familiar face, but then it disappeared. she cried. (surprise) The tears came without control. Then she stopped, a glimmer of hope. She felt it come over her. She would see her brother again and she would see Luke. She didn’t know how, but she would.

—

Luke’s dream faded. (look at my amazing dictation that definitely never repeats itself.) His breathing was heavy. (he had a good dream apparently lmao) Sweat rolled down his face. He saw the bars. He had been captured.    What about Illusien? (written in my secret code with katie that we used through middle school is this guys name: jake, its spelled star-of-david, comma, backward k, e with a tilda over it. nice) She couldn’t be dead yet! He remembered his dream. Then he rememebered how he had treated her. (dude shut up. that was like the newlywed version of an argument and im not even sure why you started it)    "Lord, let her be alive!“    Footsteps echoed throughout the dungeons. He sat up straight. The solemn face that looked back at him was none other than (the bae) Jesse.    "You all set?”    "No.“    "Tough luck.”    "Tell me.“    "Tell you what?”    Luke grabbed Jesse by the collar of his shirt. (i guess through the bars)    "You know what I mean Jesse.“    "Oh! The girl. Yes. She’s alive. Not for much longer though.” (sass)    "My brother, you’re making a huge MISTAKE. I can’t believe you w—“ (katie was like "whore amiright” and i was like “would do this???”)    "Jesse, the guest is here.“    Kish walked in. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. Luke walked away to the other side of the cell.    "Now Kish, you realize my brother is here on your account.”    "Yes I do.“    "Well I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” Jesse walked away.    More footsteps sounded, then a door closed.    "Look rebel, I didn’t want to hurt her. But you on the other hand–“    "It’s your fault. She’ll DIE because of you. Your selfish ways have once again left another to die. If she dies, we all die. Me AND you.” Kish looked away.    Kish said nothing more and turned and left. Luke knew he had to save Illusien soon or they would both perish.

—

Illusien startled. The clanking of metal and the jingle of keys.    "The time has come.“

—

Jesse came back. This time he unlocked the door. Then pulled Lukes arms around his back. (that sounds way different than its meant. it sounds like he made luke hug him)    "I’m sorry, Luke, but now is your time.”

—

(sexual tension oooooo) Malaki forcibly pulled Illusien out. (more kink from me. im so fucking sorry im so sorry) He pulled her against him. “My, my, what a beautiful girl in such an ugly dungeon.” (KATIE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE LMAO)    "It’s people like you that put me in this position.“ (SASS FROM LULU) Malaki slapped her across the face. Her cheek grew red. A sly smile ran across his scarred face.    The anger seared inside her. She felt the flames enclose her. Everything came naturally. (NEVER HIT SOMEONE FOR NO REASON DICK HEAD) She sent all her force at him. He was knocked down. He laughed. (he fire proof too??? this some bullshit)    Her grabbed her once again and took her out of the cell. (you aint run or nothing lulu????) Chapter 9: Betrayal

Luke had seen and heard what Malaki had done to Illusien. (goddamn it shut up) Thankfully, she was alive, when she passed by him he was relieved. But, then again, Malaki was so cruel to her. (CRUEL MALIKI)    Luke was drug along behind her. Being so close to her was hard for Luke. (why? can u not control ur bonerz?) He thought back on what he had said. Mikish was the least of their problems now.    He walked on. Being held by Jesse was one of the worst experiences. His own brother was leading him and the most beautiful woman he had ever met (is that really an important detail at this point in the plot????) to their death. (their singular death. they are one)    He stood strong and fought the tears (lmao be a man fight those tears birdman jr)  for he feared her life more than his. (noble tbh)

—

Illusien walked with her head down. How had Malaki absorbed her attack? (tbh i wanna know) She was scared. (A FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT SHE IS ABOUT TO DIE TO SAY SHE IS ONLY SCARED IS A BUNCH OF B-O-L-O-G-N-A: bullSHIT)    She daren’t look at Luke. (bye. kill me) The pain she felt inside was more than she had ever felt. She loved Luke more than anyone or anything. (please get counselling illu im concerned)    She (oh god this is tHE WORST SENTENCE IN THE WHOLE THING) left a trail of tears (like the one native americans were murdered on hell yeah) as she walked. She said nothing. No sound could be heard but the sound of footsteps on the stone ground. The came to an arch. It was golden, studded with precision. The jewels glimmered.    Past and through the arch, sat a shadowy figure sat on a throne. Xalador, Illusien knew right away. This moment she had dreaded for so long was now happening.    She caught Luke’s gaze. She looked at him with longingness. (please)    "I’m sorry, Illusien.“

–

Finally the moment is here, the moment of my triumph. Xalador grinned. He would soon rule all.    He saw (weesnaw) them walk in. He felt another energy as strong as Illusien. Where was it coming from? (where tho)

—

Kish stood next to Lord Xalador. He looked at Illusien but he said nothing. Luke looked upon him hatefully.    Xalador sighed dreamfully.    "Thank you, Mikish, for making all this possible.” He saw Illusien’s gaze shift to Kish and back again.    Kish said nothing and just stood attentively.

—

Illusien directed her eyes in the direction of the shadowed Xalador. Why was he holding back his identity?    The moonlight was shining through the glass in the roof in the center of the room. They stopped under the light.    Illusien looked up, a full moon. Jesse and Malaki walked away to let them stand. Neither Luke or Illusien had enough courage to move at this point.    Suddenly, a familiar voice rang through the room.    "Well, well, well, this is Illusien? What a disgrace. A puny girl, what an opponent. But then again, looks are decieving.“ Illusien let out a laugh.    Xalador stood. He took a few steps. Then stopped.    "Mikish, follow me.” Mikish did so, obviously in fear for his life. Xalador resumed his leisurely walk. Growing closer and closer to Illusien. He finally stopped.    She could see his face. She then knew why he had hidden his identity.    "Hello, sister.“ A cold shimmery wave was sent down her spine.    "Hello, Alex.” The fear inside her was overtaken by her anger. Hot tears streamed down her face. “Tell me why.”

—

“You, that’s why. Ever since our birth you’ve been better at everything. That’s why when you passed through the arch, and you became the most powerful being on Glacitoria something had to be done. (he h8 u)    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned caste, rightfully yours, of course. I sent Mikish after you,” Kish looked down in shame. “And sent men and trolls (TROLLS THO WHY TROLLS) after you. And now you are mine to dispose of.” He had a look of pure glee on his face. (the original shitlord)

—

Luke looked at Illusien. The truth was hard for her to grasp. He had never seen such a look on her face before. Fear had disappeared from her face and anger seared inside of her.    He had been silent for too long. He had been still too long. It was too much to bear.    "So you became a tyrant because your own flesh and blood–who would never do anything to hurt you–is a little better than you?“ (PREACH LUCANTHROS)  (wait i made that joke too early) He walked over to Illusien, "What guts that takes.” Luke grasped Illusien’s arms.    "Who’s the wimp?“ (nice)

—

(in parenthesis katie wrote: something about illusien remembering childhood here? GENIUS!!! nah tbh) Kish watched them. Illusien was soon to be dead and it would devastate him. He saw Xalador move closer. He could feel Illusien’s pulse quicken. Luke stood up to him, why couldn’t he?    He ran in front of Illusien. He blocked her the best he could.    "Kish, get out of the way,” Luke said.    "No,“ said Mikish.    "What are you doing?”    "Saving your life.“

—

Illusien was dumbstruck. There she was ready to die, when the reason she was here, decided to save her life.    "Get out of my way Mikish.”    "No.“ (thats so funny to me "do the dishes” “no” “get out my way” “no”) (“get out me car” “no” “get off me train” “i cant”)    "I will kill you too if I must.“    "Then do it.” Xalador grabbed Mikish at the base of his neck. Mikish struggled. The blue bolts of electricity that shot from Xalador’s hands were blinding. Illusien looked away. She heard a loud thump. She opened her eyes. There Kish was lying on the floor, pale, face down.    Dead. (im crying tbh im sorry im weak)    Suddenly he came after Illusien. Luke jumped in front of her. Xalador knocked him across the room.    "Luke!!“

– (this part is so stupid) There was darkness. It seemed to Luke there was no ground. The silence around him sent chills up and down his spine. A red crystal in the distance slowly crept toward him. The beating of a heart gradually getting louder: The crystal and the heart beat growing closer and closer.    Whispers:     LUCANTHROS. lucanthros LUCANTHROS (THATS WHAT LUKE IS SHORT FOR APPARENTLY GUYS. PLEASE BEAT ME UP) (katie wrote: "this is gay. no”)    Realize your strength, your power. Save her, let destiny take it’s path. Let fate decide this battle’s outcome. Do not leave her alone. Take your place as king. (shes right. its pretty homo and not in a good way)

(okay tbh im laughing because kish is way more powerful than all these fuckers. he should be king without illu bye)

—

Luke stood. Xalador had cornered Illusien. The anger seared from him. (illu you can fly and you have fire powers please do something. do not make this pussy save you) Xalador didn’t look away.    "Xalador, put her down.“    "Who are you to tell me what to do?”    "Lucanthros, and I’m ready to take back what’s mine.“    "Oh, ha, another being of ‘power’,” Xalador snickered. “It’s like having your cake and eating it too.” (plz explain what i meant to me)    Luke sent a bolt of flame at him. (A BOLT OF FLAME???? “zip ur lip like a padlock”) Xalador sent a blue jolt (looking for new words to use obviously. im digging in the trenches trying to create some variety up in this bitch) of electricity at him. This carried on, never touching. Illusien could do nothing she just sat there.( like a fucking pussy ass bitch will you plz get the fuck up and aCTUALLY DO SOMETHING YOURE ONLY THE MOST POWERFUL FUCKING THING ON THIS GODDAMN SHIT PLANET WILL YOU PLEASE FIGHT FOR ONCE) She stood to try and help. (FINALLY DUMB CUNT)    Malaki grabbed her from behind. (im so fucking done with this damsel nonsense. ive had it up to my meatballs.) Let alone watching this horrible fight she was now being held by an ugly moron.    She turned to face him.    "Malaki, put me down.“    "No” (NO PUNCTUATION. JUST NO)    "Okay then.“ She kicked him in the (dick plz say in the dick) knee (dammit) as hard as she could. He dropped to his knees. She punched him hard in the mouth (only really succeeding in nearly breaking her hand and getting her hand cut up by his teeth im sure) then grabbed his knife and stabbed him through the heart. (DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO STAB SOMEONE ILLU. ITS REALLY FUCKING HARD)    She wiped the blood on his shirt and grabbed the knife and pulled it out. Malaki’s breathing turned to gasps for air. Then he became silent.    Illusien turned. She thought back on what she had done. (it literally just happened. you need to) She shook it off. She had to help Luke. (HONEY YOU NEED TO HELP YOURSELF MAMA *demyx voice* RUN RUN AWAY)

—

Luke was dodging Xalador’s attacks the best he could. His strength was depleting. He sent one last blast at Xalador. He gasped for air. Xalador was closing in on him. Closer and closer yet. (kill him alex)    Xalador stopped. His eyes went blank. He fell limp to the floor. Malaki’s knife stuck out of his back. (thats it? literally that is so weak.YOU HAVE FUCKING FIRE POWERS. YOU GUYS COULD HAVE ROASTED HIS ASS LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN) Illusien wept into her hands. Luke ran over to comfort her.    "Why? I killed them, I killed them both.” (you are the worst character i have ever made) Illusien wept harder, “I spent all this time looking for him, and he just wanted to kill me.” (bitch you were not looking very carefully. you were busy wandering in the woods pointing out woodland creatures and trying to find the D where ever you could get it tbh. smh)    "I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you.“ (BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KNEW THAT SHE WOULDNT BELIEVE YOU. AND IF SHE DID SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE FOLLOWED YOU, SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUGHT HIM. SHE WOULD HAVE HIDDEN.) (ITS A FUCKED UP SITUATION LUKE BIRD)    "It’s alright. (IT IS NOT) I just can’t believe I killed him.” Luke put his arms around her. She opened her eyes. Kish!    She broke away from Luke. Kish, he was dead. (THATS ALSO A FUCKED UP SITUATION) She held him close to her. She let him down and sat there. Luke sat next to her. He took her hand.

— (I JUST ABOUT PISSED MY PANTS THIS PART IS WAY TOO FUNNY WHY) Jesse walked back into the room. He realized what he just missed. (like did he go get some popcorn??) There were three bodies on the floor. Only one of them was suppose to be dead. (…that means they were going to kill Kish anyway…thats really)    He grabbed his knife from his hip. He started on his way to Luke. Luke stood and caught his hand. (dude)    "What now, Jesse?“    "Why aren’t you dead?” (“cause we won duh”)    (this part please help me) “Cause I’m smart like that.” (i)    "Oh really? Well I’ll show you smart.“    "Stop Jesse you don’t know what you’re doing.” (that is the most monotone sentence)    "I know pretty damn (KATIE SCRIBBLED DAMN ALL THE WAY OUT) well what I’m doing. Taking care of the problem in my life!“ (jesse. this literally did not work half a second ago. chil l) Jesse dove at Luke, he dodged. (hes fuckin untouchable.) (SPEAKING OF WHICH I LITERALLY NEVER ELABORATED ON WHY MALAKI WAS COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO FIRE)    "Trust me you have no idea what your doing.”    "I know what I’m doing so just give up!“    "No.” (lmao)    "Fine, I’ll kill you both. And don’t argue with me. Since I’m the only one left, you’ll either (??/?) become my slaves (????? dude chill a sec) or die, your choice.“    "As welcoming as that sounds, no thank you. We don’t do evil.” Illusien said with a smirk. (bitch you gotta go.)    "No body asked you bitch.“ (WOW JESSUP I NEED TO WASH UR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP) Jesse pointed at her. (ok what pointing going to do cause you cant do anything unless bitches asleep) Luke shot him an evil look.    "I’ll give you ten seconds to get out of here. As long as you stay in a hole and leave everyone alone, we won’t have a problem. 1, 2, 3…”    Jesse made a sour face. Then turned to leave (????? man you give up way too easy) but Luke grabbed him from behind. (incEST)    "I actually have a better idea.“

Chapter 10: Secret Emotions

(why did i write this chapter is actually the title) (jessup immediately makes me angry lmao) I can see why Luke loves her. You can see all of her emotions plainly. She’s beautiful and sees the good in people even when there is none. (NAME ONE INSTANCE PLEASE JESSUP) She even hesitated to killl Malaki (no she didnt) and Xalador when they only wanted to see her die slowly and painfully.    Of course she loves HIM. (she actually knows him better than you so yeah that acTUALLY MAKES MORE SENSE THAN HER LOVING YOU DUMB ASS) She would never love me. (cause you’ve been a little shit so far) How I envy Luke. And how did I end up here?! Seriously, the dungeon?    I hate Luke. He has everything I never could have. Including her. (you NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL AND RE-EVALUATE)

—

Illusien looked up at Luke. (she had literally been sucking his dick for like an hour. when was he going to finish) (im sorry) (SHE LOOKS AT HIM ALL THE TIME) She wanted to sleep and never wake up. She had killed two men. (wow) One of which had been her own brother. She looked at her hands. They were blood stained.    She didn’t feel like crying anymore. You know, she never even cared that much about Alex. (ARE YOU SURE?)  But still, even so, it was like killing herself inside. (emo narcoleptic furry) Malaki deserved what he got tho. (preach)    Jesse was in the dungeons. She was sort of glad Luke hadn’t killed him. (why) Sure she had killed Malaki and Xalador, but she had watched them and Kish die and she didn’t want to see anyone else.    "So I created an army and moved into this abandoned castle, rightfully yours of course,” she remembered that. Xalador had said that in his monologue. (BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IM PISSING)    "So this castle is mine? Oh, I’m sorry ours?“ (im making a stinky face right now this is so unnecessary i did not sign up for this)    "Yes.  You can kick me out whenever you want…..” (plz stop)    She pushed him, “Shut up!” He laughed. (his laughter echoed through the halls. the dead bodies did not laugh.)    "Like I could ever get rid of you.“ She gave a playful smile.    "Oh and your highness, what do we do with the bodies?” (totally a question you ask in a playful, flirtatious manner.)    "Give them a proper burial, at least Kish anyway,“ she paused. "And don’t call me that!” (this is all katie get ready lmao) (this was written in the dark by the light of my alarm clock after my parents told us to go the fuck to sleep)    "Did you love him?“ (BUT DID YOU DIE?)    "I thought I did, but i could never love somebody who decieved me and lied straight to my face.”1    "He loved you, Illusien. Very much.  I could see it written all over his face everytime he looked at you.“    "I know I saw that too.”    "To be honest with you, I was worried. When I first rescued you, I could see the fear in your eyes when I told you Kish was an imposter. You didn’t want to believe me. (well duh) I saw the look in your eyes when I said his name. The same look as when you look at me now.“ (how quaint) (recycled love)    "It was hard for me but….”    "Let me finish please? (IMMA LET YOU FINISH BUT. KISH WAS THE BEST LOVER BOY OF ALL TIME. JS) The moment I saw you, I knew I loved you. (ew?) At first, I thought you wouldn’t love me back because of Kish. You thought you owed him something when in reality he owed you his life. (OH SO HE DESERVED TO DIE. THATS WHAT YOU JUST SAID. THIS IS SUCH A DICK CONVO) The day when you had flying lessons with me and you fell, he saw your face when I kissed you. Sorry, but your facial expressions give everything away. (get ready for a katie-ism) Your face is a whiteboard of emotions. (the fuck that mean) He realized what was happening and he resorted to anger.“    "I felt guilty because I kissed you in front of his eyes. He was so angry, it scared me.”    "It scared me too. I think the kiss is what drove him to tell Xalador where we were. I could see that he later regretted his decision. He hated me but couldn’t do anything about it. If he killed me, you would be in jeporady. (lmao) If he took you away from me, you would be taken to Lord Xalador. He was torn between you and Xalador. The only reason he served Xalador was so he could live. He only wanted to live, to see you. Kish was a complex person. (???) It was too bad that he misleaded you. But now I’m here to love and protect you (from nothing now lmao) and nothing can stop that.“ He looked at her. Her face was distorted with tears. (NOT A GOOD WORD TO USE WOW) She looked up at Luke.    "That was so sweet, Luke.” (NO IT WASNT)

—

Luke saw the tears in Illusien’s green eyes. He didn’t aim for this. Now was supposed to be a happy time for the both of them. (uh no its not.)    But now, he made Illusien cry. Come on stupid, think! he thought.    "I’m sorry Illusien. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I–I….“ she stopped him.    "Don’t be Luke.” He stopped talking. She seemed to bend reality with her beauty. (NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THIS) They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed forever. (quit)    "May I Illusien?“ (may you what)    "Yes Luke”    And they kissed. (ew) Luke looked at Illusien’s face. All her emotions showed on her face. She was relaxed now. He held on to the back of her head. (THAT SOUNDS REALLY VIOLENT LIKE HES GRIPPING HER BY HER HAIR) She broke off as if she had remembered something.    "What about your brother, Jesse? (“I’m gonna make torture porn with him and sell it online”) Where is he going to go now?“ She looked worried. He wondered why.    "For all I care he can rot in the dungeon.”    "Well we have to go down to him.“    "Why?”    "Just because he is evil, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve any mercy. He is your brother after all.“    "That’s one thing I hate but, love about you, you can see the good in everyone, even my brother.”

—

Jesse was listening. He could hear every word they were saying.    "Well I choose to see good things and not bad,“ she said with a flip of her hair. Luke gave her a sly smile.    "Let’s at least check on him.”    "Fine.“ Jesse sat as if he knew nothing. (how do you do that) The door opened. Footsteps sounded.    "Okay, we’ve checked on him. Let’s go.”    "No, please, Luke, you promised.“    "Fine.”    They walked to him.    "How you doing Jesse?“    "Horrible.”    "So sorry,“ said Luke. "Let’s go please.”    "Stop nagging.“    "Jesse I’m very sorry your down here. But, it’s your ch–” Illusien grabbed Luke without turning around to pull him back. “–ildish actions that caused this.”    "Jesse, I really don’t want to talk to you at this moment,“ Luke let the words escape from his mouth.    "Too bad,” Jesse looked at Illusien, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I really think I can be good now (lmao me tbh) let me out?”    Illusien scooted closer to Luke. “Not on your life, sport.”

—

Luke put a protective arm around Illusien. She smiled up at him.    Oh come on, Jesse thought, do they have to do all this in front me? Are they just torturing me before they kill me? (me too jesse. me too)    "All right Luke, I’m going to look around the castle. You STAY HERE and TALK to your brother.“ Luke opened his mouth to say something.    "Please, Luke?” Illusien motioned to Luke to talk while she was gone. Without another word, she walked out of the room.    Jesse watched her go. (dat ass ma) So beautiful, he thought. Jesse was rammed against the wall. (howd luke get inside the cell) He looked at who rammed him. (cause it could be anyone else only bird man is there) Luke was holding him against the wall.    "Don’t get your hopes up, Jesse. Your heart will get broken faster than you can say 'I’m sorrry.’ (yes with 3 rs) Besides, Illusien is mine. I love her and she loves me. It’s odd. When we were growing up all the other girls liked you. (all the other girls had eyes, luke) But the one girl that actually matters likes me and NOT you.“ He paused a moment. "I wonder why.”    "I don’t care what you say,“ Jesse spat. "I can have anything and anyone I want. (katie really grossly mischaracterizes him) If they don’t cooperate, I’ll MAKE them. I’m far more powerful than Xalador ever was, and you know it.” (thats not true by a long shot sport)    "I know for a fact that if you had half of the brains he had, you would know that you can’t MAKE someone love you.“    "I can if I want to.”    "Well obviously you must NOT have the brains. Perhaps I judged you too fairly.“ (you simple)    "You know that this isn’t a game Luke. You can cheat. And I promise you if you play fair you’ll come in last.” Luke turned to go.    "And Luke, you might want to watch Illusien’s back. Just a fair warning.“ Luke started back toward Jesse but stopped himself. Luke shook his head and walked upstairs.

—

Illusien was worried. She had been heading downstairs when she had heard what Jesse said to Luke.    She quickly ran up the stairs. Luke came up soon afterwards.    "What’s the matter with you?”    "Nothing, its nothing!“    "It’s something. I know something’s wrong.”    "I’m just worried thats all. I’m going up to my room. I’m beat.“    "Your room?”    "Yeah it jas my name on it.“ She walked up stairs and turned the key in the lock. She took out the key and walked into the room.    It was beautiful, light blue walls were decked with tapestries. She saw the bed. She crawled in. She didn’t care what it felt like. She was bushed.

—

Luke turned down the corridor. He saw Illusien’s room. He reached to turn the door knob, but then changed his mind. He walked to the next corridor. Another room sat. He opened the door. He saw Illusien sleeping. (????????????????????????????????)    He closed the door lightly and went down the next corridor and finally found an empty room.    Once he got in, he sat on the bed and lit the candle besides the bed. He buried his head in his hands. What was he going to do about Jesse? What if he carried out his threat?    Illusien must have heard him. She sounded worried. Then again she had a pretty hard day.    He blew out the candle and went to sleep.

—

Illusien sat at Kish’s grave. She was silent. Luke came and sat next to her and put his arm around her.    "Thank you , Kish. You brought her to me, and now she’s safe. You finally got it right.”

[conor-sorbet]

Answer questions 1-100!

o m g, Jason is this you? or Nick? hahahahahaha jfc okayyyyyyy

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? - yes! tons of ‘em, i love my friends. ;p nobody who’d treat me any special though, i think 2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? - hell no, i was forgiving this person for way too long since i was a kid.3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” - of cats obviously, my love for cats, cats as purest creatures on planet earth. CATS.4: What’s something you really want right now? - good breakfast. i’m stick with stale bread and tomatoes.5: Are you afraid of falling in love? - yes. it’s hard for me to trust anybody, and also as soon as i fall for you i get, like, twice as affectionate and clingy bcos i love showing you that i love you and care, and that’s how people run away from me. also i have an intense sex drive which can scare ppl away.6: Do you like the beach? - YES! esp in the evening. but i don’t live nearby any.7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? - yup, actually like, a month ago, with my roommate’s sister. like, not WITH her but we def shared the couch. she’s a gem.8: What’s the background on your cell? - currenty it’s some sunset with “til the birds return for spring cleaning” lyrics underneath9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? - my old one, my roommate’s and i think the one in my roommate’s house... idk, this question is weird10: Do you like your phone? - yeah! it’s like, the best one i could get that was not and iPhone.11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? - meh really. when it comes to short planning then yeah. and with school as well, but as for family, friends, relations and personal bullshit, i’m totally disappointing everybody including myself.12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? - my long-term friend’s, she’s changed her number.13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? - both, pups are good, but I think Rottweiler would suit me better, like, mentally lol14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? - emooooooooooooooootional. depends on how strong the physical pain is, but yeah, you can always get meds for that, but for emotional pain? hella mate, hmu if you find any that aren’t leading to utter self-destruction15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? - art museum. animals in cages make me sad.16: Are you tired? - like, now? a bit. it’s too early for my and i just finished my shift at work and yeah.17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? - 21 years.18: Are they a relative? - It’s my momma.19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? - No, NO, ever. well, maybe if I got in touch with Dee again... but nope, I hurt her too much, I don’t want her to have any throwbacks.20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? - hang on, lemme check my fakebook account. - two days ago!21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? - if I knew 100%? also knowing the future? hell yeah, if they wanted to, too. but that’d be a problem if it was a girl cos gay marriages are still illegal in my shithole country.22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - nope, thanks, i’d have to be as drunk again.23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? - one, which is still a lot cos i rarely wear any24: Is there a certain quote you live by? - that’d be ‘el cielo es azul’ which is a SO to Conor obviously. but yeah, lots of quotes from conor, or john darnielle, or sufjan. toooo many 25: What’s on your mind? - upcomming off festival26: Do you have any tattoos? - no, but i want one sooo bad27: What is your favorite color? - purple, green, gray and black. i guess purple28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? - i don’t know. there’s few people, who, i guess, would want to kiss me like that, so it’ll be long, long, looong29: Who are you texting? - my mutuals now! love ya30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? - yeahhhhh. he’s not a good person though, i’m bored talking about him31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? - ALL THE TIME, MATE, ALL THE TIME. I’m a massive intuitive.32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? - 99% of my friends are of males, so yeah.33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? - nope, i don’t think so.34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? - yes. a drunkard begging me for cigarettes every morning would mention so. but i’d always share a cig with him anyway. so yeah, that was him and... him.35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? - I’d tell that someone to RUN AND SAVE THEIR LIVES. i swear.36: Were you single on Valentines Day? - yeah37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? - nope, don’t want to be38: What do your friends call you? - I’m Gandalf cos supposedly I’m the brain of the group, but I think they do so ironically cos i’m a dumbass most of the time39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? - hell yeah40: Have you ever cried over a text? - too many times41: Where’s your last bruise located? - on my head. it’s not a happy story.42: What is it from? - from my brother punching me. as i’ve said, not happy.43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? - everyday. but 2 days ago the most.44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? - my friend Suzy from uni45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? - nah, i don’t really give a damn about clothes46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? - nope, i wash my hair once more47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? - nope, my hair is like... the only good feature, the only good... part of my body lol48: Do you make supper for your family? - sometimes49: Does your bedroom have a door? - of course50: Top 3 web-pages? - reddit, reddit and reddit. there’s no better web-page. well, pornhub sometimes, too.51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? - YES! I DO!52: Does anything on your body hurt? - my back, i’m sitting in a weird position atm53: Are goodbyes hard for you? - hate to say it, but yes54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? - beer about a week ago55: How is your hair? - red, sweaty and smells like fried chicken bcos of my job56: What do you usually do first in the morning? - i pee.57: Do you think two people can last forever? - yes. my parents for example58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? - I was 11 duuuude, of course59: Green or purple grapes? - purple60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? - my dearest friends next week at the festival and possibly Conor if i don’t chicken out lol61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? - yessss, as always62: When will be the next time you text someone? - possibly soon, one of my mutuals63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? - at home, in the kitchen possibly64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.  - at McDonald’s, working65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? - i don’t remember whom i liked and if there was anyone but i def remember i started to dislike my ex66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? - hmmm, i guess so67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? - nope, but i’d do love to. i’m super affectionate and always in need for hugs and smooches68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? - i was wondering if i get the book i ordered recently today. and i just got the message from post office that i will haha69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - all my life, friend, all my life. esp with people.70: How many windows are open on your computer? - 3 atm71: How many fingers do you have? - the correct number72: What is your ringtone? - some random android ringtone73: How old will you be in 5 months? - stillllll 21.74: Where is your Mum right now? - at her friend’s i think.75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? - oh, the story is long. 1) we were 15, madly in love for the first time 2) she was also a girl, my mom is kinda homophobic, her parents were even worse 3) our parents made us part tbqh 4) my mom e.g. told me that Dee (that girl) didn’t want to see me anymore but I don’t believe that. her parents possibly told her the same about me and yeah. 5) It all happened when my mom found out cos I wasn’t careful enough and yeah. Even though we’re adults now I fear contacting her even on fb, but I sometimes visit her profile, yes76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? - nope77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? - YES!78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? -  still on my first girlfriend, i think.79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? - nope. i mean, there is mike mogis hehehehe but i don’t know him personally80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? - yes.81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? - hmm, idk, like 4-5? i mean, like, plathonically82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? - yeah, my mom i guess83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? - idk, possibly not, they’re not well and i don’t want to bother them84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? - my roommate haha85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? - depends on the kind of drugs. if they were addicted to serious shit i’d try my best to help them get out of that. but no, i wouldn’t abandon them or anything like that86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? -...i don’t think my movie trips are ever that eventful haha87: Who was your last received call from? - my mom88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? - OMG WHAT IS THIS QUESTION. ughhhh no, no, no, no. that’s the amount of money I get working for 3 months I think, I’ll rather do that.89: What is something you wish you had more of? - records and books.90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? - yeah, way too often91: Do you sleep with your window open? - always, i can’t stand he heat92: Do you get along with girls? - depends. i mean, i love girls and all but somehow idk, i have more male friends93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? - yeah94: Does sex mean love? - just sex? nope. when you do it with somebody you love the most then yeah, can be one of the best things ever. but there’s lots of way to show, express and share love, sex can be just one of them. but sex is great generally sooooooo95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? - yes, that is, that person is a creep ugh96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? - yup97: Did you sleep alone this week? - i sleep alone nearly always98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? - yeah, my friends and mutuals99: Do you believe in love at first sight? - somehow, yes100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?  - hooooooonestly, we don’t pinky promise in here, I think it’s an american thing haha

jfc THAT TOOK SOME TIME