#so really this is all second's fault /j
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muttsona · 7 months ago
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i always want you when im finally fine. how youd be over me looking in my eyes when i come. someone to watch me die.
#journal#i can be sooo notmal right mow. i can sooo not relapse righr nmow#i hate yoy and i hope you die snd you are lowkey making my life hell 👍#but somehow i got stuck in the crazy ex category#literally need to die so bad.lol lol lol lol lol lol#there is nooo way im livinf to see the end of high school and imjust like. its kinda way shocking that i even made it this far#like jfc it was bad from the start.the second i gotto this city#he made me a worse cersion of myself and he kinda just gets to chill with the fact thatbhe Broke Me#he was. not good to me thiugh ?#pretty sure he liked anither guy 👍#but uts so stuoid because yiu were just some random 16 year old. how did i let you mess me up so badly#it all felt Fully misleading because it all started without me knowiny what inwas gettingmyself into#at least i won the “i love yoy more” game. thats for sure#fucking hate that i flinch at the sound of uour name and i cant listen to that aong#that i stuoidly labelled as: our song#i shouldve know that Nothing js permanenr with you#i shouldve known that all ikl ever be is a : remmever him?#j was one wildsummer. i hope it ws worth the next three winters of hurt youve boigjt me#a d i know you balme everyrhinf on your shitty parents. but i had shitty parents too#maybe its ny fault for loving you like a dog. but maybe uts also your fault for mot tellung me to stop#i really diubt ill ever know anyone luke you again and for that i an so gratefuk#thanks for being a warning sign at the very least#Spotify#💭
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brown-bi-beautiful · 14 days ago
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BABY BOY
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College au
Pairing: nerd! Jungkook x fuckgirl! reader
MINORS DNI
Genre: strangers to lovers? smut, fluff, a little angst
Words: 21.4k
Summary : You are bored with all of the boys on your campus and now you want the new toy except...the new toy doesn't want you
Warnings: Jungkook hates reader at the beginning 😭😭😭, Jungkook is an asshole to her, reader and her friends are low-key mean girls, reader and her friends objectify Jungkook a lot (red flag right there), reader is kind of the s word, casual slutshaming, angst (but it's like very tolerable), SMUT [MASTURBATION (Male, ORAL REC. (Both male and female), Fingering, JUNGKOOK'S DICK NEEDS A WARNING BY ITSELF (spoiler alert: ITS BIG AND OC's OBSESSED), Protected sex (be responsible kids)], FLUFFFFFF.
A/n: OMG.... It has been a while. Honestly work was so hard this past year and on top of everything i went through a very bad break up due to which I wasn't really in the mood of writing anymore ( Also why I kinda half assed it a little, Im very sorry). But now that we are back again I really hope you enjoy it guys. It was initially going to be 30 k words but due to the above mentioned things I could only reach 21 k but I still hope I won't disappoint you guys. Anyways, happy reading.
*******
'Why did you agree to this?' you asked yourself once again as you stared at the boy sitting opposite you, nervously stumbling over his words. You looked at him with a bored expression.
Let’s make one thing clear: you have a policy of not dating. The only reason you agreed to this date was simple—who would turn down free food, right? Plus, the boy was somewhat easy on the eyes. However, after listening to him struggle to tell a story for the last half-hour, you were instantly reminded why you avoid dates altogether: they can be incredibly boring.
'Oh God, fucking and dumping is so much easier than enduring this.' You don’t even understand how they get the impression that you're looking for anything more than just sex. From the start, you’ve always been clear about your intentions—letting them know that you're only interested in a physical relationship with no strings attached. At first, they all agree, but eventually, they start pushing for more, asking for just one date, as if that would change your mind.
"Could you at least pretend to look interested?" he snaps suddenly, his irritation showing at your impolite demeanor.
"Well, I'm not."
"Then why did you say yes to this?"
"Because you were practically begging me to, and I was just feeling a bit hungry, dude," you retorted, leaning back in the chair and crossing your arms. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, it’s not you, okay? I just don’t do dates... What was your name again?"
"How could you not remember my name? We had sex this morning!" He looked hurt, but it's not your fault, you were drunk last night when you met him at the frat party.
"And did you hear me say your name once?" you asked with a raised eyebrow .
"You're a bitch." He exclaimed, getting up to rush out of the cafe.
"At least pay for the pancakes!" you called after him but he ignored you and ran away. 'What a little bitch.' You sighed throwing some bills on the table and got up to leave as well.
Let’s make one more thing clear: you loved sex. It was ironic, really, considering you were a virgin when you first started college. But after getting your heart broken by your boyfriend during the second semester, you realized the only good thing that came out of relationships with men was sex.
You have sworn off dating but that didn't mean you were going to give up on having sex too. If guys could do it without any judgment, you saw no reason why you couldn't as well. As a result, you gained a reputation as the infamous "fuckgirl" of your college.
*******
"So? I heard your recent boy toy has been telling everyone that you suck at giving head." Jimin, your best friend of 3 years said. Jimin was the only guy you have stayed friends with after having sex. Sex with Jimin was good, so good that you guys became fuck buddies for a few months in fourth sem. However you had to stop having sex when he started seeing a girl regularly and then you didn't go back even after they broke up, You both decided that you liked your dynamic better as best friends.
"As if I would let that dick anywhere near my mouth." You roll your eyes, taking a seat next to him at the far end of the classroom. It was frustrating to see guys act like this after facing rejection. "Honestly, who cares? Everyone knows that's not true." you remarked, dismissing the behavior with a hint of exasperation.
"I don't know, you were kinda awful."
"Hey, I take offence. I was the best sex you've ever had and you're a lucky bastard to even get a taste of this." You said pointing at your own body.
"I'm kidding. He's probably just salty that he wasn't the one to change you for the better and be your awakening."
After several minutes of silence, with only the voice of Mr. Aitken filling the air, you returned to the previous subject. "I don't get it, I mean what part of 'I only want to have sex' is so hard to understand?"
"I don't know, bro. You should do what I do, leave before they wake up and block them from every social media platform."
"Oh what a great person."
"Says the one that has fucked almost half the college?"
You gasped at his sudden dig and slapped his arm. "You're a bigger slut than I am, bitch. Anyways, I'm done with college boys."
"Really?"
"Yeah, they're so immature. I just want someone who would understand the depth of casual sex."
"You sure you're not only saying that because you've now slept with all the boys in our campus?"
"Shut up. My body count is still very modest. And I'm serious, I'm not sleeping with anymore college boys."
"As if on cue, Mr. Aitken's lecture was interrupted by the creaking sound of the large lecture hall door swinging open. In walked a boy with fluffy hair and clothes that seemed too big for him, drawing everyone's attention."
"I'm so sorry for interrupting you. Is this Ancient Mesopotamia with Mr. Fergus Aitken?" the boy asked in a voice so low that, if it hadn't been so silent in the class, you wouldn't have been able to hear it.
"Yes, it is. Now hurry up and take your seat; you're wasting my time," the old man grumbled, prompting the boy to rush and nervously find a place to sit. You observed him with curiosity as he settled into the only available seat, which happened to be in the third row, directly in front of you.
From the little you could see of his face, you certainly liked what you saw. He seemed younger than you, or maybe it was his clothing style and demeanor that gave off that impression. There was an aura of innocence and cuteness about him that caught your attention. If it weren't for the classroom setting, you would have already approached him.
While you had no reservations sleeping with any attractive man, Jimin always insisted that you have a type. He believed you had a soft spot for spoiling cute and innocent boys. Boys who seemed inexperienced in the field, boys you could teach, boys who looked like they've never seen pussy in their life, boys like him.
Your best friend seemed to have caught on to the expression on your face, and with a knowing smirk, he nudged you playfully.
"I thought you said you were done with college boys."
"That was before I knew someone this cute goes here. Who the hell is he?" you asked, genuinely curious about the boy who had just walked in.
"Why do you think I know everyone in this college?"
"Because you're a gossip girl."
"You don't complain when I give you the gossips."
"I'm sorry, is my lecture interrupting your conversation, Mr. Park, Ms. __?" a thickly accented voice interjected, breaking your conversation with Jimin. You glanced up and noticed that all eyes, including those of the new boy, were on you. This time, you got a full view of his face, and you were taken aback by his beauty. His big doe eyes gazed back at you, his lips set in a natural pout, and his fluffy hair, partially restrained by a black bandana, almost concealed his stunning features. To call him merely pretty would be disrespectful; he was absolutely gorgeous.
"No, sir. I was actually just clearing her doubt about King Shu-Sin." Jimin said and you nodded along.
"Well, that's unfortunate, given that topic ended last week and we're on Assyrian civilization." You fought the chuckle that almost escaped you as Jimin's face reddened in embarrassment.
"You see, I know that, but-"
"If you want to talk, just get out of my class." Mr. Aitken's stern words snapped you back to reality as he resumed his lecture. Despite the urge to leave, you knew you couldn't afford to miss any more classes, given that your attendance was already lagging behind. Moreover, there was the intrigue of the new boy who had captured your interest recently. So, you stayed put, trying to focus on the lecture, though your mind kept drifting back to the presence of the boy in front of you.
After what felt like an eternity, but was only an excruciating 40 minutes, the lecture finally came to an end. Without waiting for Jimin, you promptly stood up from your seat, excited that you finally had the opportunity to approach the boy. Your eyes scanned the room for your new object of interest. Among the sea of students, his fluffy head was not too difficult to spot as he made his way toward the exit. However, navigating through the crowd of more than 200 students, all eager to leave Mr. Aitken's apparently popular class, proved to be quite challenging and frustrating.
"Shit!" You exclaimed when you finally got out of the class but couldn't get a sight of him. 'How is he so fast?'
"You know you should start paying me for this." Came the voice of your friend from beside you as he held out your bag which you had left behind in a rush.
"Bet you've said that before."
********
"Guess who has a new crush!" Jimin exclaimed the moment both of you stepped into the café where you and your friends usually hung out. And by hung out, you meant practically lived.
"Shut up, it's not a crush," you defended yourself, settling down on the couch and playfully nudging your friend with your butt to make some space for yourself.
"Sure. It's not a crush." Jimin mocked.
"Wait, I wanna know. Who is it?" Riley exclaimed excitedly, leaving her boyfriend Hobi's lap to move closer to you, eager to hear all the details.
"It's not a crush or anything. Jimin loves to overreact. It's just this guy I noticed in class today. It was his first time with Mr. Aitken; otherwise, I think I would have noticed him before. He's just really cute, that's all."
"Wait cute as in 'charming-flirty cute' or cute as in 'you could spread him on a toast and eat' cute." Jennie chipped in on your conversation.
"Knowing her, I bet it's the latter." Said Hoseok.
"I'm not answering that." You said as the waitress, Robin, came with your usual coffee order and you thanked her with a smile.
Amidst the conversation, you couldn't help but notice that Jay, one of your friends, had been unusually quiet the whole time. Before you could ask him what happened, he got up to leave.
"I'm gonna go smoke some weed. You wanna come?" Jay asked you, and you declined with a shake of your head. As soon as he was out of earshot, your other friends burst into laughter, amused by the situation.
"Oh he wishes you'd cum."
"Guys please. He'll get over it." You defended the guy even though you were quite sure he wouldn't get over it soon.
"He better, it's getting pathetic." Said Riley.
Jay had been harboring a crush on you for over a year now. He had asked you out twice in the past month, but you turned him down, saying you don't fuck with friends.
As you engaged in another conversation, you heard the bell on the front door ring, but you didn't pay much attention to it initially—at least not until Jimin burst out with wide eyes.
"That's him, that's him. That's her new crush!" All of you turned around to see the boy standing at the café entrance, looking around with his wide doe eyes as if he were looking for someone.
You were never one to get enchanted by someone very easily. It hadn't happened even once since you got to college—at least, not until this boy. There was something about him that captivated you effortlessly.
It definitely wasn't love at first sight, though. Your experiences had taught you that you were somewhat incapable of feeling love in the traditional sense. You just couldn't. But would you admit that you were attracted to him? Yes, you were undeniably and very much attracted to him.
"Oh he's a cutie."
"Him?" You turned around at Jennie's words as she shook her head.
"You know him?" You asked.
"No I don't know him. I know of him." You felt like you've hit a jackpot. Not you'd know at least something about him when you approach him. "You can't fuck him. You know Namjoon's friend Jeon Wonwoo?"
"If by 'know' you mean 'slept with'? Then yes."
"That's Jeon Jungkook, his brother."
"No way. What?"
"Yeah, and Wonwoo hates you so much. I'm pretty sure his brother hasn't heard good things about you."
"But maybe he doesn't know her," Jimin said "Maybe Wonwoo hasn't told him about her. I mean who likes to brag about getting dumped?"
"Yeah, I'm with Jennie here," Riley said and you raised an eyebrow, "Not because he's Wonwoo's brother or something but because, look at him. He looks like you'd break him."
"No, I won't. Why do you guys always act like I'm some man-eating witch?" you retorted, feeling defensive and exasperated at your friends' judgmental reactions.
"Babe, you know that's not what she means. You know guys like him can never handle a woman who's comfortable in her sexuality." Riley nodded along at Jennie's words.
"You never know. For all we know he could be like...a freak in the sheets."
"Really? Him?" You followed Hosoek's gaze to see the boy in question sitting on a barstool and sipping on pink Boba tea. His lips made a small pout around the head of the straw.
"He's cuuute." Riley cooed.
"And you have a boyfriend." Hobi reminded her and she pecked his lips in assurance.
"You know what? Go for it," said Jennie with a smile. "Fuck Wonwoo, in fact I'll ask Namjoon some details about him." You squealed and kissed Jennie on the cheek with a big smacking sound.
******
It seemed like you were experiencing the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, because lately, Jungkook had been popping up everywhere—in your classes, at the café, and anywhere you hung out on campus. It had been over a week since you first noticed him, but you were yet to approach him. It wasn't that you were nervous or anything, no, far from it; you were just looking for a good opportunity to pounce.
He always rushed out of classes as if he had to attend to surgery or something, or he was always with his two guy friends, who looked like they'd have a seizure if they came in contact with a woman. It's not that you were nervous about asking him out in front of his friends; you just weren't sure if he wanted to be asked out in front of them.
Through Jennie (read: Namjoon), you managed to gather some information about Jungkook. He was a third-year student, majoring in chemistry, and 22 years old—he was a year younger than you and all your friends.
Right now you were fooling around with one of the boys in class at another one of your hookup spots. It was just meant to be a quick exchange of weed when Dongmin suggested you should make out since you were already in the sacred spot and you were like why not.
You and Dongmin have been hooking up for quite some time now. While you don't usually sleep with a man twice, Dongmin was quite good at what he does.
You don't realize when his hand slipped into your panties but you certainly weren't complaining.
As you were in the middle of your intense make-out sesh, a loud thud disturbed your encounter, leaving you irritated and eager to shoo away whoever had intruded. When you turned around to address the interruption, your voice caught in your throat and all the irritation left your body when you found yourself face to face with the familiar pair of wide, doe eyes.
It was none other than Jeon Jungkook, the same boy you've been trying to get alone with for the past week but had no luck. The same boy you've been lusting over just saw you with another man, his hand down your panties.
"I'm- I'm sorry... I got lost- I'll just... Leave." Jungkook hurriedly picked up his books from the ground and rushed to get out of there.
Before you knew it, you were pushing away the guy in front of you and without any explanation to him you rushed after Jungkook.
"Hey, wait," you called after him and he froze on the spot. When you finally approached him, you gave him a sweet smile.
"I-I-said I'm sorry."
"Oh no, it's ok. You just said you're lost?" Jungkook looked at you in confusion. Did you actually just leave your make out session to ask him that?
"Umm... yeah, I recently started having classes in this sector, and I was... looking for Abnormal Psych with Mr. Hastings."
"I know where that class is, come I'll walk you."
"It's not necessary," Jungkook said, looking at the ground to avoid making eye contact.
"I insist. By the way I'm," you offered him your hand which he looked at hesitantly for a few seconds but didn't shake. You were a little hurt but didn't show it in your face "And you are?"
"Jeon Jungkook." His voice was lower than expected.
"Cute name. Come on Jeon Jungkook, I'll take you to your psych class." You offered once again and started walking without waiting for his answer.
Jungkook had half a mind to escape from the situation and hide. For all he knew, you could be luring him somewhere for your friends to bully him. Here's the thing: Jungkook couldn’t be bothered enough to indulge in college drama, but he also wasn’t living under a rock to not know who you were. To say that you were infamous around the whole campus would be an understatement.
He had heard many things about you and your little group of friends—from his brother, his friends, and even strangers—and none of it was good. If so many people had the same negative opinion about you, he couldn't help but believe that there might be some truth to it.
Jungkook could never comprehend why people still engaged with you if you were such an awful person with such an unpleasant personality. Why did they give you all the attention you so clearly wanted? Why not just ignore you and go on their merry way?
When he first saw you, though, he understood why. You were drop-dead gorgeous, and you carried yourself like you knew it. With just a look at you, he could tell that you were a bad influence, and he promised himself never to associate with you or any of your friends. He believed that being drawn into your circle would only lead to trouble.
"I think I've seen you somewhere." Jungkook thought, of course you don't remember him even after crossing paths several times. He doesn't think of himself as a memorable face anyway. "Wait, do we have any classes together?"
"A couple."
"Oh, right! You're in Mr. Aitken's Mesopotamian history class, aren't you?" Jungkook simply nodded in response. You took the opportunity to prolong the conversation, purposely opting for the longer route to the psychology building.
"Yes." He mumbled, not saying a single word more than he needs to answer you.
"Hey by the way I have psych too, but its with Mrs. Fields." You said, happy to find another common ground with him. "Is psych your major?"
"No. It's Chemistry."
You attempted to lighten the atmosphere with a playful comment, saying, "You definitely look like someone who'd take chemistry." But instead of taking it lightly, Jungkook seemed a bit offended by your remark.
"What does that mean?"
"You know, you look smart," you complimented, unaware that he was misinterpreting everything. All Jungkook heard was the possible hidden meaning behind your words. You were definitely calling him a nerd. And even if you were right, you had no right to say that.
You had no idea what to make of Jungkook's expression. It was the first time you'd miserably failed at flirting with a guy. Usually, by this point in the conversation, they'd be eating out of your hand, but Jungkook looked unaffected by your charms. He was looking anywhere but at you, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
"Are you always this quiet?" You asked.
"I only talk to my friends." His answer was short and simple.
You finally reached in front of Mr. Hastings class and you suddenly felt a pang in your heart that your time was up with him.
"Here, it's your class."
Seeing the lecture hall door labeled 'GC24' and noticing the same numbers on the slip, Jungkook felt a sense of relief wash over him. He silently thanked his luck, relieved that you hadn't taken him somewhere with ill intentions to bully him, as he had initially thought.
"Thanks," Jungkook mumbled as he reached for the door handle, preparing to enter the lecture hall. Before he could step inside, your hand on his arm halted him. Your touch surprised him, and he turned to look at you with curiosity, unsure of what you might say or do next.
"Do you want to get coffee sometime?" You asked, looking up at him with a smile.
Jungkook panicked at your question. You wanted to have coffee with him? You wanted to have coffee with him? But why? Probably so that your little posse of friends can make fun of him.
"No thanks." Jungkook's rejection caught you off guard, and it was an unfamiliar feeling to be on the receiving end of such a response. Doubts crept into your mind as you wondered if he had misunderstood you or if there had been some miscommunication between you two.
"No, I'm asking you out on a date."
"I- I know," He said, "I don't want to."
Feeling beyond shock the only thing that left your mouth was "Why?"
"I don't date girls like you." And with that he quickly went inside the lecture room leaving a very shocked you outside.
*******
"Maybe he's gay," Jimin suggests passing you the rolled joint and you took it gladly. "And by 'girls like you' he meant girls in general."
"No, no, I'm pretty sure he meant girls like me. I'm sure, that idiot brother of his has said something about me." You said passing back the joint. "And now he thinks I'm a slut or something."
"I mean, where's the lie?" You could tell that Jay was pretty high right now, he only settles to throw mean comments at you when he's high. It was his own way of releasing his frustration and you never mind him.
"Shut up, Jay, before I kick you in the teeth." Jimin threatened him in your defense and you don't doubt that he would actually do it if needed.
"Babe, you have never cared what people think about you, why start now?" Jennie said as she lied down on the grass.
"I don't know, I still don't care what other people think but-"
"You know what? He was completely out of line to say that to you." Riley said and you shook your head.
"I guess if roles were reversed I wouldn't go out with me either. I don't really have the reputation of Mother Teresa on this campus."
"So what you gonna do now?"
"I say move on and fuck our TA Mark, he's like, crazy hot."
"I think I know what I'm gonna do."
*******
"The only reason I agreed to take psych was because we were taking it together. Now you want to switch to that old cranky man?" Jimin complained as you sat in the office to fill the forms to change classes.
"You are welcome to not join me."
"If you think that I can endure a lecture without you, then you're wrong."
"I know." You giggled kissing his cheek.
"Hmm 'reason', I wonder what I should write," Jimin mocked as he stared at the form and then you, "'My crazy best friend is obsessing over a nerd who clearly doesn't give two fucks about her'."
"Your crazy best friend wouldn't mind telling your hookups that you once had gonorrhea."
"I told you that in confidence." As the two of you continued to bicker you heard someone clear their throat and instantly looked up to see a woman in her late 40s, you've seen countless times but don't recall the name of.
"If you are done with the forms, you can give them to me,"
"Just a moment," you said with a smile as you proceeded to fill out the rest of the form. She shook her head as she looked you up and down, probably appalled by your scantily covered body in a lilac bralette that exposed the better part of your chest and midriff, and a white skirt so short that if you bent over, your ass could be seen. She took a few seconds to judge you and eventually returned to her desk.
"Did you sleep with her?" You asked in a hushed tone.
"What?! No, she's like... ancient."
Once you submitted the forms to Mrs.—shit, you forgot her name again—you made your way to the history building. It was almost time for Mr. Aitken's class. Although you typically wouldn't attend any class two days in a row, your newfound motivation had recently changed your mindset.
"Can we skip it today? Let's just go, smoke some weed, I got really good stuff from Taehyung."
"No, we are very behind on attendance."
"What are you talking about, we can still skip three more classes."
"No, Jimin."
"Is this about Jungkook again?" He sighed after reading your expression. "What is up with you? You've never put this much effort into fucking a guy."
"I know. He's just, interesting. And I want to put effort."
Upon entering the crowded lecture hall, almost every seat was occupied, and only a few vacant spots remained. While Jimin searched for a place to sit, your attention was captured by one person only—Jeon Jungkook—who was currently engrossed in scribbling something in his notebook. He was wearing glasses today, and it made him even more adorable than usual. All you wanted to do was drag him away from the class and kiss him.
As you heard your name being called, you turned to find a group of boys gathered around an empty seat, all of them gesturing toward it, signaling that the seat was available for you.
"Sit here, the view's perfect from here." You rolled your eyes and ignored them, walking up to the only boy you're interested in right now.
"In your dreams, Jared." You heard one of the boys say.
When you reached your destination, the entire class fell into silence, their eyes wide and curious as they watched you stand in front of Jungkook in the front row. But it seemed that Jeon Jungkook was completely absorbed in whatever he was scribbling in his notebook, paying no attention to you or the situation.
"Hey," when Jungkook lift his head to see who was talking to him his eyes widened. He was definitely not expecting to have a encounter with you two days in a row.
When you had asked Jungkook out (and he had said no), he believed that you did it merely as a joke, intending to mock him in front of your friends. What else would make someone like you ask someone like him out? You surely don't have any shortage of people falling at your feet, so that had to be the only reason why you asked him out, right?
When Jungkook rejected you, he was sure that would be the last of your encounters. He planned to make sure he never crossed your path again, which is why he deliberately sat in the front row today, knowing you and your friend always occupied the seats at the back.
Since yesterday, Jungkook couldn’t get you out of his mind. He despised you; he despised people like you—people who seemed to believe they had the authority to toy with others simply because of their popularity. On top of that, the negative things he had heard about you from his brother only added to the bad image you already had. According to everyone, you were the meanest girl in the whole college, and he just wished he could put you in your place.
He hated the way you smiled at him right now, so innocent, as if you weren’t the person people said you were. He believed your smile was fake, a mere façade to conceal your true intentions. Your ego must have been wounded by getting rejected by him of all people, and now you probably wanted revenge or something.
Undeterred by Jungkook's lack of response to your greeting, you pressed on and asked, "Is this seat taken?" You pointed to the seat beside him, even though it was clearly occupied by another girl, who looked alarmed by your question.
"Is it, sweetie?" Your next question wasn't to him but the girl, who just looked panicked and taken aback that you're even talking to her.
"N-No… You can sit here, __." The girl stammered nervously, quickly giving up her seat for you.
'Who do you think you are?' Jungkook wanted to snap at you very badly but looking at all your fans around the hall who were already glaring daggers at him, he stops himself.
"Thanks," you smiled sweetly at the girl and proceeded to sit in the seat. "Scooch," you told Jungkook, and he did so without saying anything. You then patted the seat on your other side, prompting your friend to come forward and take that seat, though not without rolling his eyes first.
As soon as you sat beside him, he caught a whiff of your scent. It was a very fruity smell, a mix of grapefruit and fresh oranges. You smelled rich, and it suited your personality very well.
Jungkook thanked the whole universe when Mr. Aitken finally walked in and started his lecture. Now he’d just have to get through this one hour somehow, by ignoring your presence. Jungkook thought you wouldn’t try to mess with him during the class, but boy, was he wrong.
"So? What happened yesterday? Why'd you run away?" You leaned closer to him and asked in a hushed tone. He tried to ignore you and moved closer to the boy next to him.
"Are you ignoring me, Jungkook?"
"Please, let me focus on the lecture." He says before noting down something in his notebook.
"Oh, look at you. You take notes, such a good boy." You giggled, and if it had been anyone else, Jungkook would admit that sound was incredibly cute. But on you, it was nothing but annoying. Once again, you were mocking him for being a nerd. "So? Did you have time to think about it? You wanna go out for coffee?" You asked, batting your eyelashes at him, but it seemed to have no effect on him.
"No. Now please let me study."
"You have pretty hands," you remarked, tracing circles on the back of his palm. But Jungkook chose to ignore your comment once again. "If you don't want to get coffee, we can go to the movies or something, or do whatever you like."
"What do you want from me?" He asked, clearly annoyed by your behavior.
"I want to get to know you." Your words made him snap his head to look at you. The way you smiled at him seemed genuine, like you actually meant what you just said. Once again, Jungkook couldn't help but notice your beauty. Your lips were a shade of pink, glossy, and looked very plump. Your eyes were big and innocent, as if you hadn't broken all of those hearts. Before he could silently compliment more of your features, he suddenly remembered what Wonwoo had said to him.
"She is the meanest girl in this college, Guk. You don't want to associate with the likes of her. She and her friends bully people to have fun."
"I don't want to do anything."
"Why?"
"I just don't."
For a second, you looked truly hurt by Jungkook, and he realized he didn’t like that look on your face for some reason.
"If you don't want to go on a date, we can just hang out here on campus," you suggested again. This time, instead of saying anything, Jungkook just sat there silently.
You didn’t look away, though. Your eyes were fixed on him with that pretty little smile on your face, and Jungkook started feeling self-conscious under your gaze.
Do you look at everyone like this? Like you're looking at him right now? Like you're scrutinizing every minute detail of his face?
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're very pretty?" Jungkook's whole body heated up as he heard your compliment, unable to control the blush that spread across his face. "Are your glasses prescribed?"
The remainder of the class passed with Jungkook doing his best to avoid your presence, while you continued shamelessly staring at him from the front row. He wondered why the professor hadn't called you out on your behavior yet. Maybe this whole college was biased toward popular kids.
As soon as the hour was up and the bell rang, Jungkook was the first to swiftly get up, eager to make his escape. The intensity of your gaze was becoming overwhelming, and he felt as though he might burst into flames if he stayed any longer. Your presence was growing more intense with every passing second.
When you saw Jungkook hastily gather his belongings and rush out of the hall without even sparing another glance at you, you grabbed your bag, which you hadn’t even bothered to open yet, and ran after him, ignoring the calls of your name behind you from Jimin. This time, thankfully, you didn’t lose him in the crowd.
When you caught up to him, Jungkook was a little surprised to see you, not expecting you to follow him even after class.
"Wha-what are you doing?"
"We're hanging out."
"I never said yes to that."
"You never said no either." You said following him. "Why are you so scared of me, Jungkook?" You sound honestly curious about the question.
"I'm-I'm not scared."
"Then do you talk to everyone like that?" Ignoring your comment, Jungkook continued walking in a familiar direction.
"Where are we going?"
"Central Library." Jungkook doesn't know why he keeps answering you, it's like the words fall out before he can stop himself.
"Why? We just had a class," you whined a little. "Let's go to that gazebo behind the literature department." Jungkook doesn't have to know that it was a popular spot for people to make out. But it seemed that your suggestion fell on deaf ears, as you found yourself following Jungkook into the library without getting any response from him.
"I want to study for the next class."
As Jungkook walked alongside you, he couldn't help but notice all the attention the two of you were receiving on your way to the library. It made him wonder if you were equally affected by the curious stares, or if you had grown so accustomed to such attention that it didn’t faze you anymore.
Not wanting to be in the spotlight any longer, Jungkook led himself—and involuntarily, you—to seats in a less conspicuous area, hidden from the prying eyes of most people. Luckily, the seats there were unoccupied, with only two girls sitting at the table across from you, seemingly oblivious to your presence.
"Do you spend all of your free time in the library?" You questioned as you settled on the seat beside him, a little too close for his liking. Your body was halfway turned toward him, and his eyes couldn't help it travel a little further south from your face. Jungkook thought that you had to know what you were doing; there was no way it was unintentional. 
Deciding to ignore your presence altogether, Jungkook took out his earphones and plugged them in his mobile, resuming the playlist he was listening to the night before. And apparently you took it as an invitation to take one of the earplugs and put it in your own ear. 
When you started humming to the music and singing somewhat broken lyrics to 'wasted years' along with Bruce Dickinson, it left Jungkook quiet stunned.
"You-you listen to heavy metal?" Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow and you once again give him that smile of yours that seemed very dangerous.
"Sometimes, mostly Iron Maiden. Why? Can't I?"
"No-no, it's just, you- you don't seem like someone who'd... listen to heavy metal."
"Yeah? Then what do I seem like?" Your question caught him off guard and his eyes travelled to your lips. Still sitting too close to him, Jungkook could almost feel the warmth emitting from your body and it left him feeling a little strange, he couldn't decide if the feeling was the good or the bad kind.
You on the other hand almost did a victory dance in your head when you noticed his eyes lingering on your lips a little longer. You didn't make any further moves, knowing he might get uncomfortable and that's the last thing you want.
"I don't kn-know."
You heard the quiet sigh he let out in relief when your phone started buzzing in your hand, alerting you of text messages. Silently cussing at whoever it was, you turned on your phone to see the SMS.
Dooly 🐣 : Where the fuck did you go you rat?
Dooly 🐣 : You always do this bitch. And I always wait for you after class 🤡 🤡
You : I'm so sorry Chimmy. I'm with Jungkook.
Dooly 🐣 : You're with Jungkook 🥵?
You : Lol no. I wish tho 🤤🤤
You : we're just hangin in the Library 🙃.
Dooly 🐣: did your phone autocorrect sucking dick for 'hangin in the library' ? 🥴
You : stawppp bitch. We ain't doing anything. Just hangin.
Dooly : You ditched me to just hang in the library? Not cool 🙅🏻. Hope he never gives you dick.
You : Don't say that 🥹. I'm sorry.
Dooly 🐣: Whatever, dude. I'm smoking the good weed all by myself 😏😏
You : Don't say that 🥺🥺.... I'll make it up to you. Do you want a nude?
You didn't get a reply after that, so you reverted your attention to Jungkook who was already engrossed in his laptop. A smile automatically found its way to your lips when you saw how his brows furrow in concentration and his lips were already making a small pout.
You decided not to disturb him and settled for admiring him silently.
*******
'Baby, you want more?' Your voice was nothing but a sweet melody as you whispered in Jungkook's ear. Your hips are moving in a circular motion. Your cunt bare and wet as it rubbed against his cock.
All he could do in response was moan a loud 'yes' . Jungkook felt like he was in heaven. Your tits were bare and glistening with sweat as they bounced in his face. He could just reach out and suckle on them but he couldn't for some reason.
'Come on, baby boy. Touch me.' You demanded. Your voice was lower and you were moaning. 'Touch me, Jungkook. I'm all yours.' The way you said his name made him want to cum all over you. Paint you all white.
'I can't.' Jungkook said in frustration. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach out to grab those beautiful mounds of flesh. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, please you.
'It's ok, baby boy. I can do all the work.' The second your wet pussy sank down on his hard as rock-penis was the second Jungkook lost it all. He moaned out your name like chants. Your hands tugged on his hair as you jumped up and down on his cock. Your head rolled back, revealing your beautiful neck which he just wanted to take a bite out of.
'I'm cumming, that's it, baby boy. You're about to make me cum.'
Jungkook immediately jolted awake. He was panting and his breath was irregular. What the hell did he just see in his dream?
He threw the covers off of him when he realized he was sweating excessively. His whole body was on fire and his mind couldn't comprehend the dream. He took a moment to realize that he just dreamt of you riding him. Not only were you riding him but he was making you cum as well.
Was it because you were the only thing that he had thought about the whole evening? It wasn't his fault that all he could think about was you. You were the one following him around the whole day in that little outfit that did nothing to cover your body.
Jungkook's cock was achingly hard. It was throbbing. When he looked down he could see it practically poking its way out of his sweatpants.
He has never felt this turned on before, not even when he watches his favorite genre of porn. Not even when Vivian Sue, his first girlfriend touched him down there for the first time when he was 16. But just a dream of you had him practically heaving.
He laid still for a few seconds, waiting for the boner to go down because there was no way he was going to give in to you so easily, he can't let you affect him like that. He has to fight his boner.
'Let's think of something disgusting.' Jungkook thinks to himself, 'Mingyu's feet. Yugyeom's sweaty hands. Dead dogs. Uncooked chicken. Your tits, your tits, your tits.'
Jungkook let out a groan in frustration. Fuck why was it so hard.
"Fuck it." Jungkook mumbles under his breath before taking out his throbbing cock from the restraint of his sweatpants. A soft involuntary moan left his mouth when his hands came into contact with the angry tip of his cock. He sighed in relief.
His hands slowly started rubbing his cock up and down. Thumb spreading the precum to make it easier for his fist to slide of the member.
He should think about something else, you're a person and it's unfair to masturbate to you. Specially when he has no sexual relationship with you. It was just wrong but he couldn't think of something else.
The image of your tits bouncing was still fresh in his head. The way your plump lips spread wide open to moan out his name, calling him 'baby boy'. The way you arched your back in pleasure as you rode him, your shiny pussy lips gliding up and down his cock. The images were all too clear in his head and once again you were all he could think of.
Your name left his mouth as moans and he thanked god his flat-mate was not home tonight to hear him through the thin walls. He was moaning your name pretty loudly and there was no way Caleb wouldn't hear it if he was home.
Soon enough Jungkook was pumping his cock in a rapid speed. All to the thoughts of you doing vile things in his head. He couldn't help but think if you would actually feel as good as you did in his dreams. If your pussy was actually so tight that it would suck his cock in.
When Jungkook finally came down from his high he could see white, literally and figuratively. He felt lightheaded. He had never cum so much, so fast. His seeds were all over his sheets and some on his own stomach.
He felt guilty. Disgusted in himself. Jungkook can't believe he did that to you. Specially when he promised himself and his brother that he would never let himself get attracted to you.
He hoped to god not to run in to you the next day, because there was no way he could face you now after what he just did.
*******
"How dare you not tell us, Guk?" It was Mingyu's voice behind Jungkook that stopped him from walking any further into the campus.
He turned around and looked at his best friends in confusion. They didn't look angry or upset, they just looked shocked.
He racked his brain while they walked up to him but couldn't find a reason as to why they would react like this.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"You were ASKED OUT by THE __ ___. Are you KIDDING ME?" Yugyeom partially yelled on his face and before Jungkook could answer they bombarded him with a series of questions.
"Did you fuck her? Is it true? Does she really have nipple piercings?"
"How many times did she let you hit?"
"Does she really suck at giving head?"
As Jungkook's friends questioned him, he felt an inner discomfort building up. He didn't appreciate their probing and, surprisingly moreover, he realized he didn't like the way they were talking about you. A strange urge welled up inside him, compelling him to defend you behind your back. For the first time, he felt the strong feeling of hate towards his own friends because of the way they were speaking of you.
Even though none of it was new to Jungkook, he had heard people talking about you like that before, even worse, but it never mattered to him. He never raised an eyebrow when people called you names, said crude things about you. He never called them out when they said things as if you were not a person but an object that everyone wanted to play with. But now, hearing these things made him angry at his own friends.
"Don't talk about her like that." Jungkook simply said.
"Woah... Bro you're whipped already, is her pussy that good?"
"I said don't talk about her like that. And we never did anything, I said no when she asked me out." There was a sudden pregnancy pause as both of his best friends looked at him in confusion.
"What?" Mingyu asked as if Jungkook was speaking some foreign language.
"I said I turned her down."
"I'm sorry, did you hit your head when you were a kid?" Yugyeom scoffed unbelievingly.
"What do you mean you turned her down? When she asks you out you don't say no, you bend on your knees and you ask her when and where."
"I don't have time for this, I have class." Jungkook resumed towards his path after rolling his eyes at his friends, ignoring their comments about how he has to be lying and if he really did say no to you then he's an idiot.
Jungkook doesn't understand the strange feelings swirling within him. Up until recently he was so sure that he absolutely hated you, hated everything you stand for, specially your nasty personality. Yet, the strong feeling of wanting to protect and defend you now confuses him. Why does he want to scream at his friends right now? Why does the mention of your name makes him feel jittery?
For the second time that morning Jungkook was interrupted on his way by somebody calling his name.
"Jungkook!" The voice called again but this time it was closer. He turned in just in time to see you run towards him in yet another one of your tiny outfits. Your clothes today covered more surface than the previous day, at least your denim skirt was a little longer and your breast weren't about to spill out of your little pink top with tiny strawberry prints.
"Hi." As you stood in front of him, his heart thumped against his chest. His dream from last night was still very vivid in his head. The images of you had engraved themselves in his brain and his whole body heated up with embarrassment and guilt when he remembers how he was so far gone into the lust that he shamelessly masturbated to you.
There were two similar to go cups in either of your hands, one filled with green and other with pink. Jungkook wonders what you were doing at this part of the campus when your classes were all the way over to the other side. Did you come all the way over here only to meet him? You wouldn't would you?
"Here, I got you strawberry Boba tea." You handed him the cup as you sipped on your own matcha.
"How do you-"
"I saw you order this in the café, the other day."
"What are you doing here? You don't have any classes here." He said a little shyly. The blush on his face was very evident although you might not know the reason behind it and he would like to keep it that way.
"Yeah, my classes start after 12. I thought I'll just hangout with you." You replied batting your eyelashes at him. "Won't you introduce me to your friends, Jungkook?" At your question Jungkook remembers that he was not alone right now and turned to look at the said friends, only to find them shamelessly staring at you with their mouth practically hung open as if they were meeting a celebrity or something. They both looked a little starstruck by you right now. You go to the same college as they do, what's the big deal?
"We know you." The tallest one out of the three said instantly and you raised your eyebrows at him. Jungkook wanted to scoff at their reactions.
Now you're aware that you're pretty famous (or infamous) around your college but you thought it was mostly in your department or the departments surrounding yours. You never knew you were also known all to the other side of the campus. Or perhaps Jungkook has talked about you with his friends? The thought alone made you want to giggle like a stupid teenager.
"You do?" You asked with a confused smile.
"Yeah we follow you on Instagram, I'm Yugyeom by the way."
"I'm Mingyu, we're Jungkook's friends."
"Oh, Hi. Nice to meet you guys." You said in that sweet voice of yours that Jungkook finds really obnoxious.
"Jungkook has class right now, if you want, you can hangout with us?" Mingyu suggested with a shy smile and before you could answer you felt a tug in your hand.
"It's fine guys, she has to get back to her department." With that Jungkook was dragging you out of there and you waved goodbye to his friends.
"What happened?" You asked with a little smirk as the boy gently dragged you along. You wonder if there was a chance that Jungkook was suddenly jealous of you talking to his friends.
In Jungkook's head he was doing you a favour. There was no way in hell he was going to let you alone with his friends after he just heard the way they talked about you. He was aware that you were very much capable of protecting or defending yourself. But just the thought of you spending time with his friends and them taking it as a signal sends chills down his spine.
"Jungkook, stop." He did as he was told and released your hand. "What happened? Why do you look mad?"
There's no need for you to know the actual reason behind why he's mad.
"Why did you come here?"
"I thought we could hang out."
"You don't have to. And you certainly don't have to bring me this." He said holding up the cup of pink bubble tea.
"Why?"
"Because I don't want anything to do with you."
"Are we seriously back to square one? I thought we bonded yesterday."
"I don't know what- what made you think that."
"I promise I won't bother you. Please, if I annoy you, you can tell me and I'll go away." Jungkook sighed at your proposal but didn't say anything and started walking towards his class. You happily took that as a hint to follow him.
*******
"Oh look, it's the girl who has given up all her dignity for a boy."
"Shut up, Jimin." you said as you sat down at the your usual spot, in the café beside your best friend.
"No, you don't get to be mad at me. I am mad at you. You've been ditching me all week."
"I'm sorry." Jimin rolled his eyes at your apology, mostly because it didn't seem sincere.
Thankfully the café this time of the day always seem pretty empty because crowd was the last thing you needed right now, it was only occupied by your group and some other people.
Even half of your group was missing, only Jimin and Hobi were there when you came in.
"You're still chasing that Jungkook guy?" Hosoek asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes." It was you best friend who had decided to answer on behalf of you.
"Wow, I've never seen you this desperate for dick."
"It's not just about that, Ok?" You snapped. "I mean, I don't even care if I don't get to have sex with him. I just... I don't know what it is, I guess I like him or something."
Both your friends look astound at your revelation. In fact you yourself was kind of amazed at what you said, never realizing it before the words left your mouth.
The last time you had romantic feelings for someone, he broke your heart and moved away from the city. Saying that he never intended to continue this relationship after graduating. That's why you dreaded having any sort of romantic relationship after that. The heartbreak was just too much and so not worth it.
You promised yourself that you'll only stick to sexual relationships from now on, no strings attached, that's until Jungkook came along. At first you thought it was just because he said no to you and you took it as a challenge. But that was not it. He made you feel different, he made you want to spend time with him even if you don't get any orgasms out of it.
That day when you spent time with him in the library you realized you liked looking at Jungkook's face. It gives you joy, no conversations need to take place and you would still enjoy his company.
Jimin was instantly by your side, forgetting the fact that he was supposedly mad at you. "Oh my god, you actually like him. That's the face you made when you told me about Yoongi."
"Really?"
"Wait, I thought we weren't suppose to talk about him."
"You can talk about him, Hobi. I've moved on," You assured your other friend before getting back to the previous topic. "And I guess I do, I just spent an hour with him in his chemistry lecture and I actually didn't mind because I got to be with him."
"Oh my god this is huge."
"No, its not that huge."
"It is kinda huge." You rolled your eyes before steeling Hoseok's muffin.
"Anyway, are you still mad at me?"
"NO. I thought you were ditching for dick, I didn't know you were in love with him." Jimin said with a smile.
"Shut up, I'm not in love."
The next five minutes went by you trying to convince your best friends that you're not in love and them teasing you about it.
"Hey guys, what are you talking about?"
"Joon." you instantly stood up to greet your friend with a tight hug. "Where's Jennie?"
"In class, we're supposed to meet here." he replied sitting in the empty chair beside the couch.
"We were talking about her new crush." said Hoseok making you glare at him.
"Oh right, Jennie told me about Jungkook."
"Of course she did, when has she ever been able to shut her mouth."
"In her defense, she kept her mouth shut for three whole days after she found out."
You met Namjoon through Yoongi, they were both in the swim team and as the girlfriend of the captain you became a part of their friend group by default. Namjoon was the sweetest jock you have ever seen. Even after you and Yoongi broke up Namjoon stayed friends with you, and you heard through his friends that he even scolded Yoongi for you. One day when you saw Namjoon drooling over one of your best friends you introduced them both and one year later they're still dating.
"Are you guys going to Rick Miller party this weekend?"
"I don't know. They never has the good boo-" Jimin started but a light bulb went off in your head.
"Yes we are." You replied.
"We are?" Jimin asked you'
"Yes, now Namjoon," you started turning to face your friend with glinting eyes. "I heard you're still friends with Won-woo."
"Oh no, I don't like where you're going with this." Namjoon shook his head.
"Just hear me out."
"OK fine. Yes we're still friends."
"Then you could convince him to bring Jungkook to the party?"
"I don't know, __, I don't think I should meddle, and if he finds-"
"Joonie, please?" You gave him the puppy eyes that works on almost everyone, key word- almost. "Don't forget I introduced you to your pretty girlfriend."
"Are you gonna hang that over my head forever?"
"Pretty much."
"What are you gonna do anyway? And I don't know if you can tell but Kook's not really the party type of guy."
"I don't know, I haven't figured that yet. But if he sees me outside of college then maybe he'll actually talk to me." It seemed that your words didn't convince any of your friends. "Look just please try, I'll owe you one."
"Fine. But I can't promise anything."
*******
Jungkook's eyes goes back and forth from the mobile in his hand and to the thick white liquidy substance all over his sheets.
The picture displayed on his phone was one of your recent pictures you've uploaded on Instagram. It was a picture of you laying on a beach towel, sunbathing, it was nothing scandalous, just a simple picture of you in a bathing suit.
He closes his eyes out of shame. This was the third day in a row that Jungkook had masturbated to you and he has never felt so ashamed of himself, he felt like he was objectifying you and it was very wrong.
He quickly takes a Kleenex from the nightstand and wipes himself clean. It wasn't like he hadn't tried other things, he had. He tried watching porn, hentai, anything that would keep him going but unfortunately it was only you that made him hard anymore.
Jungkook then carefully tucks his still sensitive cock back in his sweatpants and laid back down in his bed. It was 10:00 on a Saturday morning and he was just so glad that at least he wouldn't have to face you for two days. He was going to spend these two days doing anything that would get his mind off you.
Your picture was still open on the screen of his phone and it compelled him to scroll further. It seemed that you were pretty popular on Instagram, and you didn't even post anything other than photos of yourself and sometimes your friends.
His thumb stopped scrolling when it came across a particular selfie. You were making a cute face at the camera and you were clearly sitting on a guy's lap whose face could not be seen. His face was hidden in the crook of your neck, only silver hair visible. Jungkook's eyes narrowed in on the picture, taking notice of every single detail. Was it somebody you dated in the past? Or was it just one of your friends? You do seem awfully close to your friends.
He felt a weird pang in his chest looking at the picture. It wasn't an old picture at least it was uploaded recently, only 6 days ago to be exact. And if you were already seeing someone why would you approach him and ask him out on a date?
Overwhelmed by his sudden feelings, Jungkook shut his phone and threw it against his mattress. C'mon JK, you need to stop thinking about her.
To pull him out of his thoughts filled with you, the doorbell of his apartment rang twice. Jungkook waited on his bed thinking his roommate could open the door, it's not like he himself gets any visitors anyway.
The doorbell rang again and he stood up from his bed, a little annoyed because he was planning to spend a few more hours in bed.
"Hyung?" The sight of Wonwoo behind the door surprised Jungkook a little. His brother has visited his apartment only twice, once when he was looking for an apartment and once when he helped him move in, that's it. So seeing him on his doorstep all of a sudden surprised him.
"Hey, Guk. What's up?" Jungkook opens the door wide enough to welcome him in and shuts the door behind them. There was not much age difference between the two Jeons, Wonwoo was only a little more than a year older than Jungkook. But Wonwoo always treated Jungkook like a kid, and not in a good way. At first it was endearing when Jungkook was actually a kid, but now it was just annoying.
"What are you doing here, Hyung?"
"Yah, can't I visit my brother? Eomma called this morning, she said you're not picking up her calls," Oh right, there was a reason Jungkook wasn't picking up his mother's calls and he wasn't proud of it. "I was around here so I thought I'd see what you're up to."
"Yeah, I was going to call her back. I was doing... something." At the suspicious raised eyebrow given to him by his brother he came up with an better excuse. "Working out. I was working out." Wonwoo doesn't need to know that he just spent an entire morning dreaming of you and touching himself.
"Working out huh? I see you've already built some muscles, little Kookie." There it was again, the condescending tone and the 'little Kookie' like he was some damn kid learning how to ride a bike.
"Is there something else you want, Hyung?" Jungkook asked politely. Yes Jungkook hated him time to time but it was still his older brother and he respected him.
"Nah, now that I know you're not dead, I can go back."
"Ok. I'll call Eomma and let her know you stopped by."
As Wonwoo was in front of the door ready to leave he stopped in his tracks and turned around.
"Hey, Gguk,"
"Yeah?"
"There's a party tonight at one of my teammates place, umm do you wanna go with me and the boys?" Jungkook was almost shocked at his question. He was always under the impression that his brother was somewhat embarrassed of his nerd younger brother, and now he wants him to come to a party with him and 'the boys'?
"What?" He asked as if the question wasn't clear to him.
"Namjoon suggested that you could do some socializing. And this party is just perfect, everyone goes every semester, even students from your department. And it's also not THAT wild."
"I don't know, Hyung. I'm not really a party person."
"I know. That's what I said. But he's right, a little socializing never hurts anyone. And if it's too much for you, you can always come back."
"I'll think about it."
"Ok, bro. Let me know whenever you change your mind."
*******
You can't recall the last instance you felt this thrilled about a college party. Yes they were fun and you got to get high and drunk with your friends and then you'd find a hot guy and sleep with him, but it was all becoming monotonous now. The same shit all the time. But this time it was different, there was a possibility that Jungkook could be there and that made you...excited?
You also can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't get high right away.
"So what did Wonwoo say? Will he bring Jungkook?" You asked Namjoon who was sitting across from you on a chair with his girlfriends on his lap.
"Babe, its not even 11 yet, give 'em some time." Jimin said offering you the joint which you refused with a shake of your head.
You were currently sitting on Jimin's lap because you don't trust any furniture in these frat houses. God knows who has been there and done what. It has become a regular occurrence now. Whenever you went to these parties your only seat was your friend's lap, because these dresses ain't cheap.
"Wait, did you dress up all pretty for him?" asked Jennie, sipping that fruit punch that was spiked so many times with different alcohols that you were sure it was poisonous now. Instead of going for the 'hot girl' look tonight you decided to wear something that would make you look 'beautiful'.
The anticipation of Jungkook's arrival tonight was gradually diminishing. Positioned where you were, you had a clear view of the front door, yet there was no sign of Jungkook or his brother. Just as you were about to turn to Jimin to express your disappointment once more, a familiar tuft of fluffy hair caught your attention.
Your face instantly lit up at the sight of the boy. And of course Jungkook looked as cute as always if not more. You notice how he was wearing a black dress shirt and gray pants instead of his usual oversized tees and trousers.
"Should I go over right now or should I wait?" You asked your friends and they turned to look at the boy.
"I say wait at least 20 minutes. You don't wanna look desperate."
"Hobi, I've been following the guy for days. I don't think one can look any more desperate than that."
"True."
"I should go ask him for a drink."
"I'm pretty sure there's no bubble tea here." Jimin commented making the rest of the circle laugh.
"Ha ha, very funny. Suck a dick."
Jungkook looked very out of the place when you walked up to him. He didn't notice you until you were right in front of him.
"Hi, I didn't know you'd be here."
On the other hand, Jungkook wasn't particularly surprised to find you here. In fact, while getting ready, he had imagined the possibility of encountering you at least twenty times, playing out scenarios in his head about how he would react and what he would say. His gaze subtly traced over your figure, clad in a white glittery dress with a sweetheart neckline.
"You look handsome," you complimented him, noting the slight flush that colored his cheeks. It was the first time you had really taken notice of his muscular arms. Those t-shirts he typically wore to college certainly didn't do justice to his physique at all.
'You-You look pretty, as well."
"You think so?" you asked, giggling. You've always been aware that you're quite attractive; confidence has always been your strong suit. However, hearing the words coming from Jungkook—the boy who had never even acknowledged you—gave you a whole new sense of conviction.
"Yes."
"Thanks. Are you here with someone?"
"Umm, yes, my- my brother was suppose to meet me here."
"Maybe I can wait with you until you find him?"
"No, its ok. You should get back to your friends."
"No, please. Let me?" Jungkook couldn't quite pinpoint the reason—whether it was the fact that you were meeting outside of college, the way you looked, or the guilt that Jungkook couldn't shake off—but when you asked with that look on your face, he couldn't say no. "Okay, Kook, let's go get you some drinks," you said, taking the lead.
As you held his hand and pulled him further inside the house, it sent shivers throughout his body. Jungkook still couldn't believe that someone like you would actually take the time to entertain him, especially right now when you could just be with your friends and enjoy your time.
"You're okay with alcohol, right?" you asked, turning to face Jungkook as you both stood in front of a large table filled with all kinds of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. With so many people surrounding the table, the gap between your back and his chest was practically nonexistent.
"Yeah, but. Nothing too strong."
"The fruit punch is out of question then." Jungkook looked at the big glass jar that looked too pink to be consumable. "I'm gonna make you a __ special."
"A __ special? What's that?"
"A few months ago I accidently made this cocktail and it tastes amazing. You're gonna love it." You said already looking for the ingredients.
"What's in it?"
"Mostly Pineapple juice and tequila, but there's my secret ingredient, that I've never told anyone." You said, pouring the pineapple juice in the red cup. "Its actually red-bull, but promise me you'll never tell anyone." You handed him your invention proudly and he couldn't help but smile at the evident excitement on your face.
"Ok." He said, sniffing the liquid before taking a sip.
"How is it?" Horrible, it was horrible, Jungkook has never tasted anything this bad in his entire life. But that smile on your face, Jungkook could never let down that smile on your face.
"Its good."
"Right?" You said, making a drink for yourself, well, just pouring neat vodka in a cup.
"Do you go to college parties regularly?"
"Well, the first two years I did. But then it became boring, so we only attend sometimes, when we have nothing else to do."
"This is actually my first time." he admitted and it made you smile that he was finally talking to you without stuttering.
"Yeah? What made you come to this one."
"My hyun- my brother said it would be good for me to socialize a little."
"I hope you're not regretting your decision so far."
"I'm- I'm not."
Silence enveloped both of you for the next few seconds, neither knowing what to say next. You had been so focused all this time on getting Jungkook to talk to you that you hadn't considered what you would talk about if you actually had a conversation. You and Jungkook had almost nothing in common.
Jungkook, on the other hand, remained skeptical about the whole situation. Ok, there might be a slight chance that you weren't orchestrating all of this to make fun of him with your friends and that you genuinely wanted to get to know him. But did that mean that everything he had ever heard about you was a lie? Or were you just putting up a front?
"Its really noisy in here, would you like to go to the backyard or something?" you asked in hopes of getting some alone time with the boy in front of you.
"Umm, I'm not sure, my brother would be looking for me." The entire world knows by now that Jungkook's brother will not give two damns if he got lost in this party but he's already done enough socializing for one day.
"Oh come on, Jungkook. I promise I won't try anything funny." the younger boy almost chuckled at the look on your face.
"Okay, I guess it won't hurt anyone." you did a little victory dance in your head before holding his hand in your unoccupied one and dragging him out of the now crowded house.
*******
"No way, you watch Anime?" after a few minutes of awkwardly walking around in the garden Jungkook and you finally fell into a conversation, although his sentences still don't consist of many words you counted this as a win.
"Yes, why is it so hard for you to believe that I watch anime and listen to heavy metal?"
"I don't know...y-you just don't seem like the type."
Jungkook had constructed a specific image of you in his mind based on all the things he had heard from his brother, friends, and people in general. So far, none of the things you had revealed about yourself fit into that image at all.
From everything Jungkook had heard, you didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy heavy metal or comic books, or engage in anything even remotely described as nerdy or boring. You were supposed to be this big mean girl who burned everything that came into contact with her; you weren't supposed to be approachable or relatable.
"What type do I seem like then?" You asked with genuine curiosity in your eyes, you were not offended that he dared to assume shit about you, you just wanted to see yourself from his eyes.
"Someone who would... laugh at my face if I tell her how much I love comic books."
"What? Why would I do that?" you asked with a laugh that made your eyes go small and cheeks fluffier. Jungkook swear he has not heard a prettier laughter. "You know what, if you get to-" Before you could complete your sentence you were cut off by the loud noise of your drunk 'Friend'.
"Oh, there she is," Jay stumbled on his way to you. When he reached you two you saw Jungkook visibly cringe at how much he stank of alcohol and weed.
"What do you want, Jay?" It wasn't really new for him to get crazy drunk at parties and approach you, but what really annoyed you was him interrupting the moment between you and Jungkook.
"Oh you are with the nerd." His eyes went to Jungkook who was looking at him with his doe eyes. "So did you finally have him? Are you bored yet?"
"What the fuck are you talking about, Jay? Leave us alone."
"Us? There is an 'us'?" he asking pointing his finger at you and Jungkook.
"Its none of your business."
"You? You seriously think you can change this slut? You fucking nerd, she's just gonna use you and throw you away like a tissue, you are nothing, literally nothing." He was now talking to Jungkook and standing too close to him for his comfort. You eyes were widening at his words.
"Jay what the fuck is wrong with you, get the fuck away from him." You had successfully pulled him enough away from Jungkook to get yourself in the middle. "I swear to god, you are going to regret this tomorrow so walk away."
"Or what? Your lap dog will come after me? Tell me do you let Jimin fuck you for all the service he does?" You were now absolutely disgusted with his words.
You looked back at Jungkook and saw him backing away, his eyes were on the ground, his face mimic the disgusted look on yours, you just don't know if it was for you or Jay.
"Jungkook, please don't listen to him, he's drunk and-"
"I-I'm, I'm just, I'm gonna head back. I'll see—" Without completing his sentence, Jungkook rushed back inside the house, presumably to leave through the front door.
"You FUCKING IDIOT, I swear to god if you ever come near me I'll fuck you up, I hate you. Do you not understand that I do not want you. Can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?" after ranting you quickly rushed after Jungkook not noticing the other man looking at you as if you just ruined his night and not the other way around.
"Jungkook stop," you called out guiding yourself through the sweaty bodies dancing and grinding and what not. "Please, just listen to me."
Taking advantage of his long legs and large steps, Jungkook was almost out of the front door and out of your sight. Just as you were about to cross the threshold, somebody threw a whole glass of fruit punch all over you.
"Oh my god, I'm sooo sorry-" You looked as the girl in front of you and if you were not in such a hurry you would bring another glass just to pour it down her head.
"It's okay." When you were out on the front yard, Jungkook was no where to be seen. You sighed in frustration, Jungkook was finally opening up to you and that rat just had to ruin-
"What happened to your dress?" Came a soft voice.
"You didn't leave yet." You smiled in relief.
"I was about to, I just- thought I should check on you first. He seemed pretty drunk."
"Look Jungkook, whatever he said, I'm very sorry about it. He shouldn't said that about you-"
"And what about you?"
"Huh?"
"He said worse things about you."
"Well... I'm pretty sure you have heard that before about me."
"I did. A lot."
"Look what he said to you was way out of line and I'm just so mad at him-"
"And why are you not mad at him for what he said about you?" His question confused you a lot.
"Because I'm used to it."
"Why?"
"I-I don't know. Jungkook, I know you are mad at what he said, but I swear to god, its not like that with you, I'm not-"
"I am, I am mad at what he said but not about me, I am mad at what he said about you and I am more mad that you let him."
"It's nothing, I don't really care."
"You should," he said calmly, "you should care, if you're really not what people say then you should stand up for yourself." with that he turned around to walk away from the house.
"Wait," he turned around. "Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."
******
Jungkook's room was cute, just like him—warm and cozy. Surprisingly, it was cleaner than what you expected a guy's room to be, except for a few pieces of clothes thrown over his gaming chair.
"Here, you can change into this?" Jungkook said handing you a big black t-shirt of his and his boxer briefs.
It was safe to say that Jungkook was completely freaking out right now. He had never had a girl at his place, and now he not only had 'any' girl but you roaming around in his room with your delicate feet in that tiny pink-stained white dress of yours.
"Can I use the shower?" you asked and he pointed to the brown door behind you.
As soon as you were behind the door he let out a loud breath that he was holding in ever since you started following him to his place.
When he was going out tonight he was only supposed to stay for 10-15 minutes and comeback to finish his paused video game. He had no intention whatsoever to bring a girl back let alone you out of all people.
Its not that Jungkook hates the idea of you in his shower, naked. Its that even the idea of it makes him all hot and bothered.
Jungkook looks back to the time 20 minutes ago, he could have booked you a cab for your own place but when you looked all innocent and helpless he couldn't help but utter those four words.
"Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."
"I live near by."
And that is how you ended up naked in his bathroom. Just a wooden door away.
Looking around his room, he quickly made sure there was no embarrassing thing left on any surface. With his shaking hands, he tidied up his room a little, stuffing everything in his closet— it was now future Jungkook's problem. However, Jungkook's immediate concern was the very visible tent in his gray pants.
Dammit, when did he get a hard on? Was it the thought of you naked in his bathroom, or was it your clearly very wet dress, or was it when you asked him if you could shower, or was it when he first saw you in this evening.
Maybe if he changed into some loose sweatpants, it wouldn't be very noticeable, so he did. Without taking a shower or cleaning himself of tonight's chaos, he quickly changed into his black sweatpants and a t-shirt similar to the one he gave you.
You couldn't believe you were inside Jungkook's shower, you personally thought that showers were a little too intimate, you have never showered at any of your hookup's place. In fact the last time you used a man's shower was when you were with Yoongi.
Now here you were in Jungkook's bathroom, looking at one of the most private parts of his life. The kind of shower gel he uses, the color of his toothbrush everything was too intimate and left you feeling giddy in your stomach. Not to mention you were wearing his clothes.
His t-shirt was too loose on you, your shoulders were tiny compared to his broad once, t-shirt was almost falling below your mid thigh whereas his hips were so petite that his boxers were a little tight on you.
You took a palm full of cold water and threw it on your face in hopes that your cheeks would cool down a little. Once you opened the door and went outside you saw Jungkook in different clothes sitting on his bed with two bowls in his hands.
When the boy looked up at you, you could see his cheeks visibly flush red. If only you could read his mind you would know how much in awe he was right now.
Jungkook had always known that you were pretty, it was no secret from the whole world, people simped after you for a reason. But right now, in his clothes, with your face bare of any makeup you were absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous.
"I- ummm... I heat up some pasta from lunch... hope you don't mind leftovers." His voice was once again too small. Like he lost all the confidence you saw back there in the party.
"No, Thank you so much. I was hungry." You said taking a seat beside him and taking the bowl from his hand. You let out a tiny moan after taking the first bite. "This is delicious, did you make this." He only nod his head in answer.
The next few minutes were spent as you two ate in silence, enjoying the meal he cooked. Your mind went back to what he said to you at the party.
"Jungkook?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you really think that I should care about what people say about me?"
"Not people. I just think that you let your friends take you for granted. A lot. If they really are your friends they wouldn't talk shit about you like that."
This is the biggest sentence you heard Jungkook saying till now, that too without stuttering. You smiled at him and he got shy again. the tip of his ears along with the apple of his cheeks started flushing.
"What?"
"Nothing, just. Ever since Yoongi and I broke up, i kind of took on that whole 'it girl' role. And I don't really care about what people say or call me and maybe that's why none my friends care either, but... it feels nice to have someone get mad on your behalf."
When Jungkook looked at your eyes and the little smile on your face he could finally see you, not the girl people describe and not the girl his brother seemed to hate so much, he could see you, he couldn't understand if you were the same person who supposedly hurt so many people and broke so many hearts.
You noticed how his eyes traveled to your lips and then back to your eyes.
"I am... You can sleep here, I-I'll just take the couch in the hall."
"Its okay, i guess... we can share a bed."
You suggestion almost made him hiccup. He is almost 23 years old and he has never shared a bed with another woman, well beside his mom and cousins obviously.
"Umm, no its okay...I can just take the couch." Truth was that Jungkook wasn't sure if he will be able to breath properly if he slept beside you.
"Come on Jungkook, I won't bite." You said while putting your hand on his shoulder, as soon as you hand touched him he jumped up from the bed as if you shocked him.
"Goodnight, if you need anything just wake me up...or whatever." With that he picked up a pillow and left the room.
*******
The next day, when Jungkook walked into his Psychology class, you were already sitting there, waving your hand at him and patting the empty seat beside you. Of course, Jimin was on your other side, looking more uninterested than ever.
Jungkook wasn't aware that you were in the same class; he had never noticed you before. He began searching for another seat to avoid being distracted by you throughout the class. However, he couldn't find any available seats that weren't at the back.
"Hi Jungkook." You said once he finally settled down beside you but received no reply from the boy and it made you frown, was he seriously going to pretend that nothing happened last night, like those few minutes of bonding were nothing.
"I recently transferred classes." You informed him about the tiny detail. "You have to help me with whatever that's been going on." you said as he silently put down his stuff beside you. He sat down without doing much to acknowledge your existence but you looked around and saw there were many vacant seats in the hall and he chose to sit beside you, so he's not completely ignoring you or anything.
"I don't understand a single thing this man is saying." you exclaimed quietly but loud enough.
"Yes, and thanks to you we are stuck here." Jimin rolled his eyes beside you.
"Can you please help me catch up after lecture?" You looked at Jungkook.
"Since when do you care about academics?" Jungkook asked while writing down whatever the old man was saying.
"Since now. Pretty please?" The boy looked at you as you batted your eyelashes and sighed.
"Fine. I don't have any other class after this, I can help you study."
You almost exclaimed loudly but then recalled how rude and unfiltered Mr. Hastings was so you sat quietly for the rest of the lecture.
Once the lecture finally ended and you saw Jungkook preparing to get out of the class, you quickly got up to follow him. "I'll see you guys at the cafe ok?" you told your best friend and without waiting for a reply ran after Jungkook.
"Where are we going?"
"To the library."
"I thought you don't have any classes after this. Neither do I. Why can't we just leave?" You whined, feeling slightly irritated by his unexpected behavior. It's not like his behavior was new—he'd been like this from the beginning. But after last night, you really thought something had shifted. You didn't just imagine everything, did you? This morning he even made you a breakfast sandwich and arranged an Uber for you.
"I like studying in the library." Of course he does!
"Let's just go to your place." You said while trying and failing to drag him with you. 'Wow, he sure is pretty strong' "Come on, Jungkook. Pleaseeeee! I hate that library, Its so silent and cold."
Jungkook bit his lips while contemplating your offer. 'God you are so irresistible' Last night Jungkook almost forgot about all the promises he made to his brother. His beliefs towards you were slowly changing, he knew you were not the monster everyone made you to be, quite the opposite actually. Still, he believed hanging with you was like walking on burning coals, he was ought to get burned.
Jungkook didn't say anything. He just let you happily drag him out of this dreadful campus. He thinks he has spent the whole night alone with you at his place without letting himself lose control, he's pretty sure he can do a few more hours.
*******
Somehow this afternoon Jungkook was much less nervous than last night. Thank god he decided to clean the whole place right after you left. You were sitting on his bed with your pretty legs under your butt as your wide eyes looked up at him.
"Do you want anything to drink?"
"Just water." He nodded and left to grab a bottle from his kitchen.
'Calm down Jungkook, you are just gonna help her study and then she's gonna leave'. Wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatshirt Jungkook reentered his room only to find you out of the cardigan that was covering you, leaving you only in a beige camisole and a pair of white shorts.
"I hope you don't mind. Your room's kinda warm"
"Its okay. Water." He handed you the bottle with almost shaky hand.
"Thanks."
"We should start, if you wanna cover all the topics before Mr. Hastings gives off assignments. He's pretty brutal while checking the papers."
For the next half and hour or so Jungkook has gone through 5 pages of his notes with you, or maybe 3; you weren't really counting. You would be lying if you said that you understood everything that came out of his pretty mouth, Psychology was not really one of the hardest subjects that you chose but he was just too pretty for you to focus on any thing besides him.
"You are not focusing." Jungkook said blatantly as you sat in front of him on his bed, giving him heart eyes while he just poured his heart to you about the schools of psychology.
"I totally am, I just listened to everything you said, and I totally agree."
"Really? Then which school emphasizes the role of unconscious conflicts, early childhood experiences, and defense mechanisms in the development of psychological disorders?"
"Ummm...the middle school?"
"NO the psychodynamic school." this was the first time you were seeing Jungkook speaking so loudly and passionately about something, and honestly it was a turn on. "Did you listen to anything I just said?"
"Sorry, I promise I'll focus from now on."
"Do, you want to take a break?" You were surprised that Jungkook was the first one who suggested to take a break and not you.
"Yeah sure, What should we do?" You asked suggestively knowing very well that Jungkook will not even think about the million things that you want to do to him right now but a girl can always hope right?
"Umm, I have video games, if you wanna play? Or we can watch anime." both the options were way different from what you were hinting so you took the matters in your own hand.
"Or..." You scooched closer to the boy, "We could make out." All the oxygen from Jungkook's body left him right there. His whole face was suddenly red and hot and he had no idea if you were just joking or if you were serious.
"Y-you want to do that?"
"You don't?" Of course he did, that is all he had thought about ever since you started talking to him.
"Wh-why me?" His question made you laugh lightly.
"Jungkook. Is it not painfully obvious that I am attracted to you?" As a matter of fact you have never tried hiding that you have a crush on him, not from him, not from anybody. So you were not sure why he was so surprised by your confession.
"But why me?" It broke you heart that he was not aware of how painfully gorgeous he was.
"Because-" You moved closer and removed his iPad from his hands , practically sitting on his lap. "I think you are the most gorgeous and sweetest person I've ever met in my entire life." You slowly reached for his face with your right hand removing his glasses, testing the waters. You would never do anything that would make him even slightly uncomfortable. "And you have beautiful eyes. Is this Ok?" Jungkook's voice was caught in his throat, all he could offer you was a nod which made you giggle.
"Do you want me to continue?" The conscious side of his brain was saying no, reasoning with him, what would he tell his brother? But his body was possessed, possessed by lust and the touch of your soft hands. His hands were suddenly involuntarily reaching out for you, he was craving to touch you, hold you and finally kiss you.
"Yes, please."
"As you wish, baby boy." Your lips finally met his soft ones and he felt like he has reached euphoria. He had completely lost control over his body. His hand grabbed you by the waist as hard as he could without hurting you and pulled you onto his laps.
His heart was beating so loudly that he was scared he would go into a cardiac arrest. The first few strokes of his lips were a little awkward, considering it was not a daily occurrence for him like you but after a few soft kisses his lips found the perfect rhythm with yours.
You smiled into the kiss as he slowly gained confidence and started kissing you more fiercely. His kisses were so soft and smooth that it felt like you have been kissing him daily. Soon you felt him opening his mouth a little wider so you took the opportunity and slipped in your tongue, he tasted like strawberries and mint, reminding you of his sweet taste in beverages.
"Wow!" you exclaimed as soon as he pulled away for some air. "You are a great kisser."
"T-thank you, so are you."
"Aww don't get shy now." you said pointing at the pink hue rising up his neck and to his cheeks. "So? you want to continue or you want to go back to studying?" You asked half seriously, hoping to god he wouldn't choose the second option.
"I think you've studied enough for today."
You let out a tiny giggle before crashing your lips again on his. You took his hand and dragged it up your chest, granting him permission to touch you. his hand stayed there for a second before giving your breast a tiny squeeze, pulling out a moan from you.
It wasn't much later that you started grinding your hips against his, feeling his very prominent boner through his pants. After a few circular motion of your hips, he was a moaning mess in your hands.
His shaky hands started pulling at your top with urgency, wanting to feel more of your exposed skin. You helped him take off your top and he sat still for a moment, looking at your breast like a little kid looking at a carnival.
"You wanna touch them?" You asked, guiding his hand to the hook of your bra and he nodded very eagerly. After the little piece of cloth came off his lips didn't waste a single second before coming in contact with your nipple, sucking on it as if it had the cure of all diseases. His tongue did a fantastic job making you whimper and moan on his lap.
"Oh my god, baby, you are so good at this." you cried holding the back of his head and guiding his mouth to all the right places.
Your lips wanted to taste him again so you did and this time he was the most confident. You had no idea how his kisses improved so much in a matter of few minutes, but you were not complaining. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth and his lips sucked in yours like a candy.
It was your turn now to pull at his t-shirt until it was thrown away in another corner of his room and there was no barrier between both of your upper bodies.
You sat there for a few seconds, admiring the view. He really was gorgeous, he was lean but very muscular, you knew he was hiding something delicious under all those baggy clothes.
Your fingertips ran along the smooth honey like skin until they reached the hem of his sweatpants. You looked up at his face asking for permission. He looked a little nervous.
"I want to suck your cock, Jungkook. I promise it will feel nice." He contemplated your offer for a few seconds before finally nodding his head yes and you gave him another kiss out of joy.
You didn't waste too much time before pulling his sweatpants and briefs down his thighs. His cock spring up at your touch making you almost drool. You have had sex with a lot of men A LOT, but you swear that you have never seen a prettier dick. Or maybe it looked so pretty because of the man it was attached to.
You leaned down and left tiny kisses along his thighs making his cock angrier and darker. It was so thick that you couldn't wrap your whole hand around it. You could already imagine how good it would feel inside you.
As soon as you gave a kitten lick on the tip, Jungkook let out a loud groan.
"Ple-please."
"Please what baby?"
"Please __, do something. It feels so nice."
You let out another giggle at his desperation and decided not to torture him any further. His one hand supported him up from the bed as the other one grabbed your head and pushed it further down, making you swallow his cock until it reached the back of your throat.
His precum tasted like butter, smooth and salty. You looked up at the boy while bobbing your head up and down, his eyes were closed and mouth was hung open as he moaned your name again and again like a mantra.
Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, what you couldn't fit in your mouth as your tongue constantly licked the head. His orgasm came without any warning, hitting your chest and face and your quickly wrapped your mouth around the tip in order to not waste any more of it. It would be such a shame to waste the cum from such a pretty cock.
You swallowed all his load and giggle when you looked at his expression. He looked like he was about to ask you to marry him.
"I'm sorry, i should have warned you." He said and you followed his eyes to the droplets of cum sitting prettily between both your breasts.
"Its ok, I like surprises." You said taking his t-shirt that he handed you to wipe his cum.
His eyes couldn't seem to look away from you. You've always been beautiful, but at this moment, you looked otherworldly. With your tousled hair and nearly bare face, he had never encountered anyone more stunning. When he kissed you this time, he was entirely confident; it was brief yet filled with intense passion.
"Teach me?" You looked at him confusingly.
"I want to do something for you, please you, make you--... I want to make you cum, teach me how to." You smiled at his request.
"Maybe some other time. You look tired right now, lets take a nap."
Some other time. You said 'some other time', does that mean it was not a one time deal with him.
He nodded at your suggestion and pulled up his sweatpants and briefs. Just as you were about to get up from his bed to give him his privacy his hand pulled you to his chest and wrapped around you tightly.
"Sleep with me?" He pleaded with a soft voice and you obliged happily.
As you slipped into slumber Jungkook couldn't help but wonder, was this post orgasm bliss that he was experiencing or did something just shift inside him? He suddenly felt anger towards his brother, towards everyone who has ever spoken ill about you.
It seemed impossible that someone so mean could be so sweet to him alone. He wanted to protect you, even though he knew he wasn’t strong enough. Still, he would do everything he could to ensure that no one ever harmed you.
******
When you woke up from your nap it was pretty dark outside Jungkook's window, you don't know how many hours you slept but it was one hell of a sleep.
Jungkook was still sound asleep, his head on your chest and arms wrapped around your waist. You smiled to your self once you heard him snore. 'wow even he snores so prettily'.
You wanted to pee so bad but you were unable to even move under him. You laid there for a few more minutes not wanting to wake him up but the urge to take a leak just became unbearable.
"Jungkook..." You shook him slightly, "Baby, I need to use the restroom."
"Why?" He asked in his sleepy voice making you laugh.
"Why? Why do people use the toilet, silly?"
"Just do it on the bed."
"EW, Jungkook no."
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He laughed before getting up and you ran to the bathroom as soon as you were free.
'Did Jungkook just make a joke.' You thought as you sat down on the toilet. It was the first time you were watching this side of Jungkook, he was always either too nervous to talk to you or too irritated. You were happy though, that he could finally be himself around you.
After you cleaned yourself and walked back inside the room Jungkook was already dressed in fresh clothes and you missed his bare chest.
"Here," he handed you a grey t-shirt. "It is clean." You were surprised as he pulled you closer to him and pecked your lips. Neither of you spoke about your departure from his place and acted like it was daily occurrence for you to spend so much time at his flat.
"So? Should we continue with our lesson?" he asked pulling you down on his lap.
"Do we have to?"
"I mean, if you want to pass his class then yes."
"Or we can think about it later and do something fun."
"How about, we study for an hour and then you could choose any game that you want to play, I have 278 games that you can choose from."
"Oh my god, 278?" You asked with wide eyes and he nodded his head. "Wow you are a nerd."
"Guilty."
You agreed with his deal and he also promised to treat you with food after the study session.
You have to admit that studying was fun with Jungkook. His concepts were so clear that he made them sound very easy to you and by the end of the hour you were proud that you finally learned something today.
"Wow that was very easy, I have no idea how that man makes all of this sound so fucking boring. You know what you should be a lecturer."
"You think so?"
"Actually no, that is a very bad idea. Nobody will listen to a single thing that you say"
"Why?"
"They will be too busy looking at that pretty face." You said in all seriousness and he started blushing again.
"Okay so you wanna play FIFA?"
*******
"Wow you are smiling, A LOT." Jimin said and gave you a side eye as you happily sipped on your matcha tea.
"I'm always smiling."
"You are, but today it looks like your face got stuck with a hanger inside."
"That's because I am happy?"
"Why? What did you smoke?"
"Nothing, can't I be happy sober."
"You can, but you are only this happy when you smoke good weed."
"Let's go its time for class." You said getting up from the couch and pulling Jimin up with you.
"Seriously what happened to you? You want to go to class again?"
"If you don't come, I'll go by myself." Your threat seemed to work on him as he rolled his eyes and started following.
"What did this Jungkook guy do to you? Did he make you join some geeks cult? Blink twice for yes." Jimin joked as both of you made your way to Mr. Aitken's hall.
"Why is it so hard to believe that I want to study and attend my classes?"
"Yeah right, you also want to bake a pie and become a housewife."
When you enter hall SF22 your eyes immediately started looking for Jungkook and they lit up as soon as they spotted him. He seemed to have noticed you as he patted at the empty seat beside him with a shy smile.
"Let's go, Chimmy."
"You want to sit in the front?"
"Yeah why not."
"Maybe its time for me to switch best friends."
"As anyone else would tolerate you beside me. Hi, Jungkook." You said as you sat down beside him at glared at Jimin when he didn't greet him.
"Hey man." Jungkook immediately nodded at him and return his greeting.
Jungkook wondered if anyone in this hall could figure out that you spent the entire night at his place and made out with him till the dawn. What if they found out though? Would they mock him? Would they say more awful things about you? He hated being the center of attention, especially if it was for negative reasons, but he would still prefer people to talk shit about him rather than you.
Jungkook also wonders if you had the same feeling of despair as he did when you left this morning. He questioned whether everything that was happening effected you the way it did him.
Although the sweet smile that you gave him was reassuring enough he couldn't help but think if you would become bored of him sooner or later.
You on the other hand could practically see the wheels in his head turning around and he once again looked shy and nervous. What happened to the Jungkook you saw last night? the Jungkook that was confident enough to ask you to teach him how to make you cum.
"You okay?" You asked and before he nodded with another smile. You took his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.
The lecture went by neither of you saying anything, But you made sure to rub his thigh every now and then.
Once the lecture was over he didn't leave like he usually did but instead waited for you to get up first, you took him by surprise when you held out your hand for him. Jimin looked at you with a questioning look, he wouldn't say that you were not a PDA person but he has never seen you hold hands with some beside him and maybe Yoongi when you guys were together.
"I'll meet you at the cafe, Jiminie." You told your best friend giving him a side hug which he gladly returned and left with your hands in Jungkook's. He was happy for you, yes a little jealous that he had to now share his time with you with some other guy but if you were happy he wanted nothing more than that.
"Where are we going?" You asked swinging your joined hands back and forth.
"The library."
You complained a bit, but you happily went along with him. It didn’t matter where he went; you’d probably follow him even to the dumpster. You couldn’t quite explain this overwhelming desire to spend all your time with him—it had never happened to you before, not even with Yoongi. You usually needed your personal space, but with Jungkook, it felt different; he was your personal space.
The library was much quieter than usual for a Friday morning. Only a few people lingered among the shelves and chairs, and they seemed indifferent to both of you, allowing Jungkook to exhale in relief.
He was about to sit on his usual spot but you dragged him farther inside the liberary.
"I know a spot," you said, noticing the questioning look on his face as you led him to the library's unexplored section. The books were coated in dust, suggesting that no one had been here in ages—perhaps because Celtic mythology was considered a forgotten topic. Jungkook had never seen this part of the library before, and you only came here to make out in peace.
"What is this section."
"Celtic Mythology and that is paleontology, nobody comes here. Ever."
"Why?"
"I don't know, probably because nobody reads them anymore."
"That's sad. These books must have been lonely for years," he said, his voice tinged with sadness as he traced his fingers along the spine of a book. He looked as pure as the first rays of morning sunlight. It was endearing how much he cared, even for the forgotten books.
"Why are we here?" he asked, his innocence making you want to tuck him away in your pocket and shield him from the world.
"I wanted to kiss you." You were blunt like always, taking his breath away from his lungs.
"You do?"
"Umhmm, don't you?"
"I do. Very much."
"Then what's stopping you? Kiss me."
"What if- what if someone walks in?"
"Nobody comes here, trust me. I'm pretty sure half of these people don't even know the existence of this section," You said pulling him closer to you. "So... You can do whatever you like, baby. Nobody would know." Your words were enough reassurance for him. He cupped your face with both of his hands and pulled you in for a sweet and short kiss.
"Can I... can I touch you here?" He questions, fingers hovering over your covered pussy and you nodded in excitement.
His hands were shaky as they slid under your skirt and caressed your wetness through your panties. His touch was so soft yet it sent a lightning inside your body making you shiver and almost lose your balance. If it wasn't for his other hand holding your waist you would have fell down.
You held his hand and guided it inside your panty. You became so wet in just a few seconds. Jungkook was eager so he did what he craved for, dipped two fingers in your arousal and pulled them out to suck on them. The site almost made you come right there.
You tasted delicious to him, just like how he imagined all those times he did the unholy while thinking of you. It was the perfect mixture of salty and sweet
You grabbed his neck and pulled him in an eager kiss. Lips clashing away at each other like it was a battle. His hand went back inside your underwear and wasted no time before pushing in two fingers. His thumb played your clit like a guitar.
You whimpered against his lips as his other hand went inside your crop top and squeezed you like a lemon. The more he tasted your cherry lip gloss the more he craved for it.
"Jung-... baby, I'm gonna cum." You warned him and he rubbed you even even faster. His two fingers buried so deep inside you that he could stroke your walls.
As you came down from your high your fingers started to immediately work on the buttons of his jeans.
Your mouth was watering at the thought of his cock. You wanted a taste again.
"__, somebody's gonna walk in." He said as you quickly pushed him against the bookshelf and pulled down his zipper.
"Shh... if you don't make any nose, nobody would know." You murmured against his lips that were now shining with your pink lip gloss. You slowly started pumping his cock that was now hard and hot against your hand. "Do you want me to make you cum?" He hesitantly nodded and you happily sunk down on your knees to take him in your mouth.
When your warm wet lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, Jungkook realized how hard it was going to be to stay silent.
*******
Spending the night in Jungkook's room has almost became a daily occurrence to you. It has been exactly three weeks since you first gave him the best orgasm of his life.
It was now like a daily schedule that you would go to his place after college and hang out with him, sometimes it would end in you on your knees, showing him the gates of heaven and sometimes it would end innocently with the two of you cuddling and talking about anything and everything.
You have not taken the next step yet, it wasn't that he never asked you to, you just wanted him to be completely sure before doing that.
There was one more thing, you were scared. Scared to take the next step with him. What if after you have sex with him you become bored. You know you like him too much but still, you were scared to break his heart. He was too innocent for that, you can never live with yourself if you ever made him sad.
Right now you were sitting on his bed with a gaming console in your hand whining at the fact that Jungkook would let you win.
It wasn't that you were bad at playing video games, it was that Jungkook was too good, you watched at the boy with a pout as he defeated your team for the third time in a row.
"Oh my god, what are you not good at?"
"I'm going easy on you."
"Such a show off." You said, playfully rolling your eyes.
"Let's play a game that you are good at."
"Ummm... Lets play Tekken."
"Ok." He obliged before putting on the game that you demanded. "What does winner gets?" He asked and you raised your eyebrow.
"Whatever they want."
"Whatever?"
"Whatever."
"I was gonna let you win but not anymore."
"Nooo, don't be mean, go easy on me."
"You ready?" He asked and you nodded, eyes squinting at focus as you looked at the TV screen. Jungkook felt a strange kind of serenity when he looked at you. Nobody ever has been so quick to tear down his walls. You not only tore down his wall but also made a home inside.
Nobody knows you, not really. They wouldn't say those things if they did. You were sweet, kind, beautiful inside out. You were mot even a single thing that people described you to be. Quite the opposite.
"Oh my god you lost!" You exclaimed all of a sudden pulling him out of the train of his thoughts. "Oh my god, I can't believe I won, I Won."
You got up from the bed and started jumping around, if an outsider looked they would think you won a lottery and not just a video game.
"Wait, did you let me win?" You stopped jumping and stood in front of him with a not-so-threatening pout.
"What? No. I would never, you are just so good at it."
"Of course, I am." You mockingly brushed of your shoulders and Jungkook decided right there that he was in love with you. Maybe it was too soon, maybe you wouldn't reciprocate it but he was utterly and madly in love with you. And he doesn't care if you don't love him back, he would love enough for the both of you.
"Ok now what do I get?" He would honestly give you both his kidneys if you asked but you didn't. "I want you to give me piggy back ride tomorrow between all my classes." Your choice of demand made him laugh.
"That's it?"
"Yeah."
"Huh, i thought you would ask for my PlayStation."
"Oh my god, I could have right? I want to change my wish."
"No, no take backs."
*******
Jungkook's roommate left town for a while so you decided to take advantage of it and make dinner for the two of you. Jungkook helped you with chopping all the veggies.
"Are you sure this is how it supposed to look."
"Are you calling my shrimps ugly?"
The poor little animals have become a little black inside the frying pan but you were sure they would taste good.
"No, not ugly, they just don't look..."
"What? Edible? Fine, I'm gonna eat it all by myself, don't come begging for a piece if it tastes heavenly." You were so confident in your creation that it reminded him of that night when you made him that 'special cocktail' that tasted like piss but he didn't have the heart to tell you that.
You don't remember the last time you hung out with someone this long that too without any alcohol or weed, and yet it was the most fun you had in a while. Jungkook made you feel emotions you thought you had lost touch with. Even with Yoongi, you had never experienced this kind of pure bliss. He made you feel whole, like you didn’t need drugs or sex to fill any emptiness. With Jungkook, there’s no pressure to uphold a certain image or look flawless. You can simply be yourself, and it’s enough to make you feel truly happy.
As you served the forbidden looking dish on both of the plates he pulled out his phone to snap a picture. You couldn't help but smile, striking a playful pose for the camera. The photos turned out great—you looked flawless. The shrimp, however, was undeniably inedible. But of course, he’d never admit that.
You spat out the content of your mouth into the dustbin.
"Oh my god. EW. Stop eating it. Its so salty i feel like i gulped acid."
"I think it tastes fine." Jungkook said chewing the burnt fish.
"Spit it out."
In the end, you decided to order pizza, and despite your insistence, Jungkook insisted on paying for it. You both settled on his bed, enjoying the pizza while watching a new anime he had introduced you to.
Despite the screen in front of you flashing with gore and violence, you’d never felt as at peace as you did in that moment. With your stomach full and your head resting on his warm, bare chest, his fingers gently weaving through your hair, everything felt perfectly calm.
"Jungkook?" You asked, your voice laced with curiosity.
"Hmm?"
"Why were you so scared of me before?" Your question made him pause, now that he think of it he doesn't seem to know the answer. Sure he still remembers all those horrible things he heard and regrettably believed about you but he doesn't know why he used to be so scared of this sweetest girl he has ever met that he couldn't even form a sentence without stuttering. You have never personally been mean to Jungkook nor has he ever seen you do anything remotely as horrible as people say.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"You were so pretty, and so far out of my league that maybe I thought it was a sin to just be in the same vicinity as you." His answer made you burst out laughing.
"What? Do you still believe that?"
"Do I believe that you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen? Yes."
"No do you still believe that I am out of your league and it is a sin to be with me?"
"Yes, if anyone in college finds out I'm cuddling with the __ __ they would sacrifice me."
"Stop joking, I'm serious. You can't think that I am out of your league or something."
"You are though."
"I am NOT."
"You could literally have any guy that you point your finger at."
"And here I am, laying in your bed, begging to suck your cock every other night." Your words made him twitch inside his boxers. "You are gorgeous, smart, funny and you make me feel so good, you can't possibly think that I am out of your league."
"You know, I used to... I used to think that you were asking me out to make fun of me." His confession made you laugh again.
"What? Really?"
"I mean... there was you and then there was me. I never thought I was your type. And I never really heard good things about you either"
"My god, people really think I'm the devil don't they?"
"Who cares what they think?"
"Hmm... What else did you hear about me?"
"Nothing that matters, what matters is who you really are. And you are the kindest and sweetest person ever and you give really good head." You burst out laughing again.
"Oh my god, you heard that as well?"
"Everyone did."
"Wow, I'm glad that we put that out of question."
The anime playing on the screen was long forgotten. The boy laying in your arms was far more interesting. You stared into each other's eyes for how long you don't really know, you know you can stare into them so much more longer.
*******
Making out with Jungkook felt like an habit now. You were currently laying under him in nothing but your underwear while the anime still plays in the background on mute.
No matter how many times you kiss him you can never not be surprised by how sweet his lips taste, just like him. His hands, gentle yet strong, groped every inch of your body like he was holding onto his life.
Jungkook pulled away from your lips, looking down at your body and a sudden fire burst through him. You were so beautiful that he couldn't get over the fact that you were under him. He must have done some really great work in his past life and he was now getting rewarded for it.
"What happed baby boy?" You ask pulling him out of his train of thougts.
"I want to please you."
"You are pleasing me."
"No... like you do it for me. I want to... I want to use my mouth." You smirked, it was always so cute when he stuttered.
"I don't understand, be more clear baby." You certainly do understand but it was so much fun teasing him.
"God, I want to eat you out, __. Can I?" Your words got lost in your throat so you nodded your head in affirmation.
Jungkook started kissing a very slow trail down your body make you almost die from anticipation. When his mouth finally came in contact with your bundle of nerves, your whole body started shivering.
"Oh god baby, that's right." His hand took yours and put it in his hair as if telling you to guide him. "Use your tongue." And like ever so obedient, he did.
His tongue was warm and even though it was his first time it felt very skillful. His tongue, licked up your juices in big and wide strokes. Pouty lips sucking in your clit every now and then.
"Now put a finger inside, baby." he followed your instruction almost immediately. Long thick finger sinking in your heat while his tongue licked you.
His other free hand went up to grab at your breast, squeezing and kneading the flesh and occasionally twisting your nipples.
With a last few rhythmic strokes of his tongue and finger you were cumming.
"I'm cumming, baby boy." Your words sounded like reward to his ears. His tongue out and mouth was open, ready to drink in everything that you were about to offer.
You have never squirted in your life and this boy who looks like, he has never even seen a pussy in his life just made you squirt in like 5 minutes. You wonder what more talents were he hiding.
"Come here, baby. I want you inside me." You said pulling him by his arms, closer to you. He was already so hard that your word made him feel like he was going to pop a vessel on his dick.
You changed your position and now he was under you while you pulled out a condom from your purse and rolled it on his cock without wasting another minute.
This scene in front of Jungkook was a little too familiar, he has dreamt of this exact moment only every other night ever since you started talking to him.
Your hands guiding his to your chest and you slowly sunk down on him, your warm pussy fitted his cock like a glove. Like they were made for each other. A loud whine left Jungkook's lips as soon as you settled on his dick.
"I've dreamt of this so many times." His arousal has turned off all his filters, his confession made you smirk.
"You did? SO naughty. And you dare to act like you are the most innocent guy on this planet."
"It was because of you, you make me think all those lewd things."
"Oh yeah? Did you touch yourself after waking up?" You asked as you slowly started jumping up and down in a perfect rhythm and his words got caught in his throat. "tell me, baby. Did you?"
"Yesss... Aghh fuckkk.. Everytime."
"Mhmm. God you feel so good. Was your hand as good as my pussy?"
"No, Noth-- Ahh.. Nothing compares to this. Your pussy is so good." He cried out in pleasure as both of your rode close to your orgasms.
"Tell me, baby. What else did you dream about?"
"I- I dreamt... About you riding my face."
"You would like that wouldn't you?"
"Please... I love your pussy so much."
"Rub my clit, Jungkook." Jungkook did as told and started rubbing your clit with his thumb.
"I'm about to cum." He cried out.
"Me too baby, just hold for a few seconds."
After a few more seconds of riding his heavenly dick you both were finally coming down from your high. Lips finding each others as soon as you were done. Your bodies seemed to have calmed down as you gave each other slow and deep kisses.
"Wow, that... That was the best sex I've ever had. And I'm not just saying it, Jungkook." Jungkook's face turned pink at the compliment. Honestly he never thought he would last this long if he ever had the chance to have sex with you. "Did you like it as well?" He was shy again all of a sudden.
"Yes. I would... I would like to do it again."
"Me too, baby me too, but lets get some sleep right now."
After you you both cleaned up and jumped into his bed, you realized how tired you became. Your eyes closed as soon as your head rested on his chest.
Once your breath turned even and you fell asleep, or Jungkook thought you fell asleep he pressed his lips against your forehead and gave you a kiss. A kiss that was a lot more meaningful then any kiss on the lips.
"I love you." He whispered, thinking you were fast asleep but you heard it. You heard as his breath became even as well and he fell deep into sleep.
For once you don't feel like you have to leave. You don't feel like you are out of place and you don't feel like you are incapable of love.
For once you don't want to get up in the morning and sneak out before he's awake, instead you want to stay over, you want to have breakfast with him. You want to sit on his counter as he cooks and you want to hear him say he loves you again.
Maybe you wouldn't say it back right now if he said it when you were awake but you like to believe that one day, very soon, you will also whisper it to him as he falls asleep.
*******
Tags : @hrtsj1m
@honeeybunneey
@bbtsficrecs
@taetaecatboy
@radhottubfart
@pinkjm
@hajimaoppaa
@dontcallmeelle
@notsooperfect
@kookies-n-spice
@somehowukook
@btsffreader92
@vidrk
@joonwater
@kamyhberry
@azaood
@cynicalbitch666
@kyglover
@honeeybunneey
@trustfratedtae
@gaebestie
@ttanniett
@azaood
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alchemistc · 9 days ago
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Tommy has a bad date and goes to visit Abby at her loft, only shocker, Abby left months ago and The Himbo is staring at him from the other side of the door.
He tips his chin. Raises an eyebrow. Scans down, back up, just in time to meet the kids eyes.
"U - uh hi?"
He gets it immediately. What would have drawn Abby in despite the age difference, despite the knowledge that all her friends and family were gonna give her shit, despite -
Well. He's fucking adorable, for a start. Bright bright blues eyes that look like maybe they're always a little wet, the foundation for a really great muscle base, even though he clearly hasn't figured out how to balance cardio and weight lifting, pink full lips, an adorably puppy-dog slash to his face, legs for fucking days. God. Yeah okay. Tommy'd been younger than Abby too but not this young.
"Is Abby home?"
Something strange crosses his face. Confusion, upset, maybe some genuine pain. He shakes his head, opens his mouth. Snaps it shut. Tommy's had a shitty night and honestly for a second he thinks making the look on this kids face go away for a few minutes would fix him.
"Patricia?" Tommy asks, because maybe at least Pat will be lucid enough to sit and with him and mope to the tune of whatever's on Hallmark.
The kid swallows, brows knitting together. "She uh. She passed. A - a few months ago now."
Tommy has to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself from being rude as hell. Sure, things with Abby hadn't ended great but Christ he'd loved Patricia. She could have at least sent him a fucking pigeon. Smoke signals. Something. It's not this kids fault though.
"And Abby ...?"
This kid doesn't know him from Adam. He'd have every right to kick Tommy off the welcome mat and shut the door. Something sad and vulnerable crosses his face. "Are you Tommy?"
Tommy's brow jumps. His posture shifts. "Cross my heart I'm not here to steal her back from you." He doesn't know what Abby's told people. He'd promised he wouldn't do what he'd done to her to another person and left it at that. They'd been together for years and Tommy honestly doesn't know if she'd go the bitter route and tell everyone, or if she'd be ashamed and hide it.
The kid laughs, watches Tommy's fingers make an x over his left pec. The face falls after a moment. "I - uh - I actually don't think she's coming back," he says, choked up just a bit, rising inflection on the end of his sentence. The wet eyes look a little watery now. "S -she went to find herself after her mom died and I don't think - I don't think I'm gonna be a part of whatever she finds."
Yeah. Fixing him will definitely make Tommy forget how terrible his date with Frank had been.
"Can I buy you a drink, kid?"
He blinks. Swallows. Does a piss poor job of hiding the way he's feeling, and Tommy wishes he remembered how to be so open. "Evan. Buck. I - Evan Buckley."
Tommy nods. Grins. "Kind of a mouthful. You mind if I just call you Evan?"
Something passes across his face. He takes a step back. "Uh - if you're serious, I would - that'd be - I just have to grab my wallet?"
Tommy shrugs. He'd offered to pay, but it's entirely possible he still gets carded at bars. "I've got time."
Evan opens the door wider. Gestures him in. Tommy passes the threshold and takes in the space. It looks fucking exactly the same. Evan hasn't made a mark on this place at all.
Tommy's got no room to resent Abby, but if he did...
Evan reappears in record time. He's changed his shirt.
Tommy is absolutely not going to read into that.
"You like craft beer, Evan?"
Evan pulls a face, and Tommy laughs, letting himself be ushered right back out the door. His keyring, Tommy notices, only has a house key and a car key.
Tommy slaps him on the back. "Fine, I won't subject you to my refined palette. I know a place that has a PB&J special."
Evan's stride is fucking ridiculous, as he keeps an easy pace with Tommy down the hall. He turns his face, his body, fully into the space Tommy occupies. Tommy's just waiting for him to trip over his own goddamn legs. "W-what uh - what's a PB&J?"
He already looks brighter than he had five minutes ago.
If Tommy were a shittier person, he'd spend the night trying to to get straight into his pants.
"Pabst and a shot of Jameson?"
He blinks. "Oh. Hey, that's clever. Sorry, when I bartended all the drinks were either in Spanish or some hokey touristy lingo. I mean I memorized like a thousand drinks but no one ever ordered them."
He's honest to god pouting as he says it. Tommy wants to bite that bottom lip.
He babbles all the way down the elevator, across the parking garage to Tommy's truck. Doesn't even pretend to make a fuss about driving separately. Tommy's a virtual fucking stranger and Evan just hops right in the passenger side and asks him about his license plate.
"No shit? I'm at the 118!" Evan says, and Tommy forces himself not to make the joke about stranger danger he'd been planning. That's an awful coincidence, unless it's not. Maybe a few drinks in he'll feel a little less tight lipped about the Abby of it all. Maybe this kid will do just as good a job of patching Tommy's night as Tommy plans to patch his.
He barely stops to breathe the short drive to the bar, and Tommy can already tell he's in way over his fucking head.
After he drops him off, tucks him into bed if he needs it, he's pretty sure he's gonna have some choice words for Abby.
Until then, he's gonna spend the next few hours doing everything he possibly can to keep the sad look off his face.
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cinnanmonn · 8 months ago
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𝐹𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝐷𝑟𝑦
Pt. 2 Yan! Farmer x GN Perv Reader
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Tw: breeding kink, cunnilingus, more lactating, praise, masturbation
Part 1
The days after the intimacy you shared were uneventful. He completely avoided you and reasoned out so he wouldn't be near you.
Well that truly hurt, when you thought he really enjoyed it....
But he did, he really did. He felt so good he couldn't help but jack himself off at the thought of you touching him like that again.
You've made him lose his cool. It's your fault. Now he lies in his bed every night, thinking about what you'd do to him, what you did to him. Fuck, it felt so good.
He could go nuts any second. He would often give a glance at you every once in a while. While you were eating, lazing around, doing work, sleeping, showering.
He couldn't help but stare. But you didn't notice that, of course he wouldn't let you notice how much of a pervert he is, silly.
But it was your fault anyways. He's not even sure how he could be so infatuated to the point he'd do such peverted things. You just... Made him feel different. Special. Good.
He really tried to ignore his desires, until the chance came where he could feel such a intense feeling again.
Your grandparents decided to go on a little date, since you were there to help take care of the farm. They were so excited, they planned it out so fast and left immediately once they were prepared.
Well, you promised your grandparents you would help, but Isagani's been insisting on doing it all. When they thought you were really productive and fast with work, when really Isagani was just taking extra jobs for you.
For what reason to be honest? You've only known each other for like, two weeks.
Now you were gonna spend a whole week together. Home. Alone. (Ref/j)
He really wanted you to touch him, not even sure why. When did he become such a lustful weirdo? He wasn't sure.
But at some point, he tried to instigate a moment when something like what happened two weeks ago.
He's tired of avoiding it. No turning back now!
He tries to wear more tight clothing, maybe you like his body? He'll leave you lingering touches. On your shoulders, hands, feet, waist, cheeks and a sneaky "accidental" touch of your ass.
You realized it, every single detail.
How cute.
"Isagani. You wanna fuck, don't you? "
You ask, looking at him as his face goes red as a tomato. You finally noticed! Finally!!!
"W-what...?! No!! T-thats weird... "
His feelings didn't cooperate with his words. But you knew he wanted it, just by the hard stick on his pants.
Wow.
Big tits, big ass and even a big dick? What does this man not have. To be really honest, what are you even thinking?
It's so fucking cringe. But still, he's just too cute. Ever just wanna do something weird that cringes you out but you'll do it anyway? Well that's what you're about to do something like that.
You approach him, noticing how he's all sweaty and red. The closer you got the louder his heartbeat hammered.
We're you gonna do it? Please do it.
You start by sitting on his lap, before giving him a passionate kiss. He quickly closes his arms on you, wanting you to stay close more than anything.
You quickly start unbuttoning his shirt exposing his red little buds. You don't think twice to pinch, twist and lick. You want him to lactate again.
And he does. Slowly, white liquid leaks from his buds as he couldn't help but moan from the friction.
"It's uncomfortable here.... " he states, as he starts to squirm. "Alright, let's go to the bedroom. " . This sentence made him even more nervous, who knew all the lewd things your gonna do to him? And how good would it feel...
As soon as you reach the bed, you uncloth him, exposing his big hard shaft, and moist cunt.
(he doesn't have a cunt btw it's js his shithole)
(´ω`。)
You spread his legs, starting to lick on his bottom. This earned desperate gasps and pants from him. He's already gripping the sheets, when you barely even started.
You insert you mouth inside him, he moans as he pushes his own walls closer to your mouth, you let your saliva coat his walls. Once you pull away you insert a finger in him.
"Feels weird.... Ahh... " he mumbles, as the feeling starts to overwhelm him. You decided to be gentle, or else he might bleed. Assuming it's his first time. (?)
'.. more...!!.. Please.... " he cries out, you decided to insert another finger, you start to thrust faster and faster, he starts to moan and mewl, biting on his own hand to silent himself.
He could feel something coming out.
"Ahh.... Nghh... S-some... " he couldn't even form words, because of the fact that you inserted another one, you continue to thrust faster in him, it's so good.
You cheekiky kept praising him, earning whines as he squirms at how you treat him in bed.
"Good... Your taking so well.... " you continue to say, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Making him thrust his hips unto the air.
He could feel so many liquids inside of him. Did you come inside him or is it just his own? Ahh, what he'd do to bare your child.
Despite it being impossible, he'd love the idea of you penetrating and filling him up with kids, no matter your gender.
He couldn't even think anything when he came.
I love you.
611 notes · View notes
whalesforhands · 8 months ago
Text
what’s yours is mine (1/?)
masterlist next
pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru
You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.
What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse, rating may change with every update.)
“Ito Saya, reporting in for your daily broadcast. In a noteworthy shift, Omegas are increasingly finding more employment opportunities in positions of power. With a positive trend towards reduced oppression of—“
You’re averse to this sort of thing. A folly, something you can barely care about as your eyes squint at big words floating around the screen, a pretty lady holding papers and looking all serious and… Boring. TV shows are supposed to be fun, supposed to be playing that anime you had been waiting all week to see, supposed to be… Interesting so that you can feel less alone.
You definitely don’t want some silly lady on the screen talking about— Those things that you can barely understand. Why do they always talk so much? A picture could probably end their entire long spiels in seconds.
Your nose scrunches, your fingers cupping your chin like those TV characters did when they were thinking really hard. So why don’t they just use pictures? They’re more colourful and tell you stuff faster, won’t they? It’s not your fault that the TV station people are always so inefficient.
(It’s the television’s fault isn’t it? Definitely, right? Mama always did tell you it was a little old.)
Or maybe it’s because you don’t know a lot of things.
You’re 4, staring up at the glowing screen of your all too old television, sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor in this wide, wide room that was a little too empty for your liking. Your nose picks up on the scent of coffee, ears barely picking up on a clink of porcelain against a cheap wooden coaster. Mama circles things in newspapers, the gliding of her red marker against the sheet attracting your attention to the focused look in her eyes, the furrow of her brows, the way she just held that pen so elegantly…
(Your Mama is so much prettier than the lady on the TV.)
You like it when she’s focused like that, so serious-looking! This must be the pinnacle of a hard worker. Brains… And beety? Or whatever you heard some other old man on the TV used to cheer about.
So you decide you don’t wanna watch anymore, Getting up onto your small feet and barely catching yourself before you topple over, toddling over to your Mama with socks padding against the wooden floors.
You’re soon taking decisive peeks at your all too focused mother, watching over her shoulder in silence to let her focus. There should be a reason why she’s so serious, right?
Maybe it’s something fun? Something exciting? That’s why she’s so focused on it— right?
“J…Ob list…ings open…” Your eyes are narrowed, licking over your lips to wet them as you take another deep breath in. “Mini—um, ex-peer-i-sense?”
You can see the red marker coming to a halt, her sweet chuckle perhaps to humor you, to acknowledge your attempt. Patting your head when she turns her head around, and a smile upon her face as she smooths over the fabric of her skirt, as you feel yourself being lifted and plopped gently into the warm confines of her lap.
“That was a nice try, sweetie.” Her eyes meet yours when you take the decisive move to lean back, a ruffle of your hair and your quiet giggle as the short relief of her attention leaves you, though not without sating your curiosity. “Mama’s looking for a job.”
You know what that is. It’s for adults to make money, disappear for hours in a day and only come back super, super late at night.
(You think your father had one. Or… Did he really?)
And it means they spend all that time in a place nowhere close to their home or cute, adorable, obedient daughters either.
“Does that mean you can’t stay home with me anymore, Mama?” You’re still leaning back into her chest, staring up at her chin from your position as you bring yourself impossibly closer to her, the calm smell of vanilla and honey in your nostrils making you all warm and fuzzy, calm and happy.
(You always liked it when she smelled like this.)
“Maybe, sweetie.” She pulls away briefly to tap the end of the marker against your nose. “But Mama will be able to buy you more delicious food,” She pauses to smile so sweetly down at you, a pinch to your cheek. “And finally get you some toys.”
Toys. You realize that you don’t have any toys. At least— You couldn’t bring any of your toys with you when your mother had so urgently scooped you up into her arms in the dead of the night, a luggage rolling behind her as your nose picks up on an urgent, intruding scent of sour milk and rotting flowers, your senses spiked with uncertainty and fear as you soundlessly drink in the last sight of your old home for those few seconds before the darkness ate it all away.
You remember boarding 1 train, 2 trains, 3 trains… You lost count after that. Only simply remembering getting pulled along, Mama’s soft whispering and cooing promises that this is for the best, that your Papa won’t be able to follow you here, that you’ll be happier than ever. You remember her scent, less rigid, less frightened but still steeped in misplaced excitement. Like a fragrant scent of calm that beckoned you to follow and imitate.
You remember living in small apartments, tiny, squeezy and virtually no space. You remember how sickly, horridly sweet Mama’s scent was, caked in perfume when she rushes out every night for her job at the local izakaya. Her uniform always a little messed up in her haste before she leaves your dinner usually already in your hands as you slurp on ramen or eat another scoop of curry rice.
She would pat your head as you offer her a bite, giving you a smile before she tells you to be good, several locks clicking into place when she closes the door behind her.
It wasn’t much, wasn’t the most fun you’ve ever had in your life, but it was comfortable. You were happy with that simple life with her. But one day, you heard jangling at the front door, you hear hurried, panicked movements, smell sour fear despite the thick odour of perfume as your Mama hurriedly slams the door shut behind her, cold sweat on her as she hugs you close, buries her face into your hair.
You don’t like it when she’s like this.
You remember a man with a scent so different from your father come knocking at your door for weeks on end, gradually changing from slow knocks to furious banging on the metal with a rough pleads begging that he won’t hurt your mother, that she was beautiful, the she was—
That’s how you ended up here now. It’s been at least a year since then. And only about a month since you moved in.
(You think. You’re not really good at telling time yet.)
“Mama, I don’t need toys.” It’s not like you don’t want them, you just don’t need them. A lesson taught to you by more pretty ladies on the TV screen, you’ve also stopped by many a toy store only to see too many zeroes on price tags, and it’s been steeled in your mind that you just don’t need them. Not when you have Mama to play together with now that she’s smiling so much more.
So you’re adamant on not wanting any.
“Is that so, darling?” You feel a mindless pinch to your cheek as she circles another paragraph of words. “Then how are you going to keep yourself from getting bored when I’m not around?”
Now that has you in a slight dilemma, your hands freezing in place from where they had been twirling with her hair. You blink once, and again when you quietly see her marker tap against the paper, as if awaiting your thoughts as your eyes start to dart all over the room.
(She makes really good points. Too good. As expected of your Mama.)
The television? No. Mama would tell you too much is bad for your eyes. The pillows you both use for your futons? No. You’ll probably dirty it and make more work for her. Your eyes silently trail over to the window, sun shining through the panes and onto the floor as a glowing thought arises.
“I can just play outside.”
——
Be careful what you wish for, as they say.
An amused chuckle from Mama as she pushes you towards the door, nimble fingers excitedly doing up the straps of your old sandals and arming you with a couple of handmade cookies, a pat on your head and parting words of;
“Don’t wander anywhere past the playground, don’t follow anyone strange, be back by sunset and make some friends.”
Maybe you shouldn’t have said that you’ll go play outside.
“Honey, I know it’s only been so long since we’ve moved here.” She’s clears her throat, a cloth being gently rubbed against your face to help get rid of any stray rice grains. “But,” She sucks in a breath, a rise and fall of her chest as you blink at her.
“Have you…” She has to take another breath in. Does she have breathing problems—
“Made any friends yet?”
Oh.
The answer is no. Your go-to counter being, ‘I don’t go outside, so how can I make any?’ as if it was the most obvious thing in the world as you give her a smile.
(This isn’t something you’re meant to be proud of.)
And all she’ll give you is winced smile, ruffling your hair and saying that there was no rush. That you’ll get your chance. That you’re the sweetest kid there was. That she has faith in you and wants you to work hard!
But it’s not like it’s as easy as your capable mother makes it sound, and not like you wanted to be out here, anyway. You think the sun is too hot, that there aren’t enough clouds, that the wind isn’t picking up enough, the cicadas are too loud, that you need water—
And that you need to stop complaining so much.
You’re kicking at the path, a long stick in your hands poking at the ground beneath you, cookies pinched between your fingers as you wander and wonder. You can make friends. Surely, you can. That’s what the the cookies are for, right?
Other kids your age should love cookies. You sure do, and you’re Mama’s number 1 fan when it comes to her baking.
(Or her… Anything, really.)
So… You know her inside out, you swear you do. You love her, she loves you, she makes good food and she wants you to make friends, come back with no cookies and a new bond forged.
(Anyone would do, right?)
But you don’t see any kids, the playground you just arrived at deserted and empty. It looks sleek, almost as if it were brand new. Dark wood and galvanized steel, it was so… Clean. So untouched. Yet nobody was here? Your shoulders slump forwards in mild disappointment, yet your heart thrills at the thought of being able to have the whole place to yourself. Alone.
Well, choosers can’t be beggars… Or was it the other way around? Either way, it’s not like Mama would know if you ate them both yourself.
——
So you find yourself sat down comfortably within the top of the little hut housing the slide, your feet splayed out in front of you as you prepare to take a bite. You feel the straps of your sandals relax against your feet, a slight breeze picking up despite the shade you had hidden under. Perfect. This was perfect—
“Are those cookies?”
You can feel your shoulders jump in shock, fear pulling at your heartstrings and a startle nearly making you drop your precious dessert. So much for a peaceful time. You have to physically lurch yourself back before any harm was done to your food. Just who do they think they are? To just come up to you and—
A flurry of white snow and icicles of frost. But you’re pretty sure the summer heat is still beating down, the cicadas are still singing, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Yet the one before you defies all of that. He had an aura about him, a commanding curiosity. And he does definitely—
“Look weird.”
His eyes widen for just that fraction of a second, before he furrows his brows, the long sleeves of the firefly kimono swaying when he crosses his arms in rebuttal.
“You’re weirder.”
You blink maybe twice. Once in surprise, and the other to really blink back into reality. He must’ve heard your thoughts.
“I didn’t. Ya just said it out loud, weirdo.”
Oh. You have to say your sorries, then. Mama didn’t raise you to be rude.
“This is my playground.” Your eyes catch a glimmer of the wara zori his feet donned. They were too neat, too well put together. “Nobody else is allowed in.” His tone sounds so proper, his pronunciation so abnormally clear, especially for someone who looks your age.
“Oh.” You didn’t know that. Though to be fair, you don’t know a lot of things. “Sorry. I didn’t know playgrounds can be owned…”
“That’s only for poor people.” You hear the tap of his shoes against pressure treated wood. “If more people were like me, they’d have their own playgrounds too.”
“Oh. Sorry then.” You really are. You just thought playgrounds were a place for every kid… 
“S’that all you can say?” You can see the shine of iridescent blue, making use of his standing height to belittle and threaten your sitting position. He makes himself look big, makes the glimmer in his eye turn into one of malice and impatience. It twists his features, turns them into something rugged and rough and uncomfortable.
And you think it’s such a waste of the cute face he has.
“Sorry.” To his Mama who gave him such a nice looking profile, and to him, you guess. You don’t really know if you should be apologizing, don’t really know if what you’re doing is right.
(But apologising has always worked. It felt right to you.)
And you think he’s satisfied now.
He harrumphs, unfolding his hands. “Some old lady put me on a sweets ban.” He settles down next to you, pushing you aside to make space for himself as he plops down, and you notice the shifting of the pretty blue fabric he donned matching perfectly with the crystal blue of his eyes. You notice the print quality being one so clear and vivid, despite the simple design. That’s a really nice kimono. “So I can’t eat anymore for the rest of the month.”
(He really is cute.)
“But since you’re trespassing on my playground,” He holds a dainty, porcelain hand out, a small twitch of his fingers that itch for your compliance. “I’m charging you cookies for it.” He’s smiling now. A proud, smug grin with the upturn of his eyes into crescents.
”It’s okay for me to eat ‘em cause it’s tax.”
He’s kind of irritating, but… Anyone would do, right?
You swallow the lump you weren’t aware of in your throat, the sweat that you didn’t know that was starting to form on your hand. You think you have an idea. A good one, at that.
“Okay,” You produce the other packaging. “But you have to promise to be my friend.”
Now it’s his turn to blink at you in utter confusion.
“Are you—“ His eyebrows furrow deeper than before, his smile dissipating into this confused frown. His eyes scrutinize and watch you closely, as if he was scouring your every breath, your every movement to uncover something that just wasn’t there.
“Being serious?”
Why… Wouldn’t you be? The way you just blink back at him, waiting on him to continue only to be met with glaring silence… Is there something on your face? Is there a bug you didn’t see crawling in your hair?
Or maybe he just wants the cookie.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Your hand is warm as they grip his wrist, gently dropping the wrinkled plastic onto his hand with a tilt of your head and eyes that flick up to meet his. It’s innocent, genuine, even. Frightfully so. The way you smile with nothing else, the way your intent was shown upon your very sleeve.
Nothing. He garners absolutely nothing from you. Your hands feel too warm, the chocolate chips within the cookie already look like they were melting, sweat is starting to stick your hair to your skin— And he thinks it doesn’t get anymore real than this.
“Okay.”
Oh, good. He agreed. You have a friend now, and it makes your heart squeeze with just that bit of excitement, of joy. It felt like you were swinging too high off the ground, felt like you were going to be swept off your feet.
It felt good. Maybe you should make more friends.
“Do the thing with me.” His pinky is held out, pushed into your face. “Ya gotta promise me something too. That’s how promises work.”
Is that how it works? You didn’t know that either.
“Yeah.” It isn’t. “That’s how it works here, you dunno that cause you’re new.”
Well… Okay then. “What’s the promise?”
You see his lips curl up, his eyes sparkling with something unknown as you begin to stick your own pinky out. “You’re already my friend, right?”
You nod.
“Good.” There’s a smugness to his face now. “So you can’t be friends with other kids from this neighbourhood. That’s betrayal to me.”
You catch a whiff of something spicy, hot. As if it were burning you to the very edges of your body— Before it disappears completely, as if it were never there. He makes sense, to you at least, and it sounds… Fair enough, you guess.
Your pinky wraps tight around his, in spite of how foreboding and suffocating his hold feels. Your nose picks up on the scent of fabric cleaner, the scent of summer weighing heavy on your nose in this moment. You see blue and white, see oranges and pink light starting to envelop his hand from where the sun had begun to set, making his hand glow as your promise becomes sealed in this very moment forward.
“Hey,” His eyes still don’t leave the way your fingers were intertwined with each other. “Which house do you live in?”
(“I’m forgiven for coming in here without permission, right?” Your hands are stained with sticky chocolate that you’re trying to dab off with your dry handkerchief, bits of crumbs littering your lips.
“Ya can come here whenever you want now.” He wipes the remnants of soft biscuit and gooey chocolate off with a dismissive sleeve.
“That’s such a waste of a pretty kimono…”)
——
Even when your pinkies have lost their binding to each other, you still find his hand holding onto yours, adamant on them being intertwined as he huffs in annoyance at your stare.
“I’m only leadin’ ya back cause I wanna see your house.”
You give him that owlish stare again. The blank one that looks like you don’t have a thought passing through your head at all. “Okay,” You smile again.
“What’s your name, by the way?”
It’s a dismissive question, one that had only just occurred to you. You’re far more interested in watching the way the sun casted your shadows together on the concrete pavement, how your silhouettes gave you a sense of weird unity. Having a friend feels really nice, you think.
You take a glance at him when he takes too long to reply, catching an icy cold gaze that contrasted the warmth of your hands conjoined.
“You first.” Well, if he insists, you guess. It’s just your name.
“(last name) (name).” You’re pretty sure you got the pronunciation right.
“Gojo… Satoru.” You can hear him hold his breath as his name leaves his lips, his voice ever steady and confident, though with a tinge of hesitance. As if he expects something, as if he wants it to be over and done with.
It never comes. Only a confused tilt of your head as you keep staring at him like he was the crazy one in this situation.
And you can see his face change into one of disbelief, one that barely tilts over the edge of what you can only describe as ‘shocked relief’. Maybe he is as weird as he looks. Does he have some sort of weird complex? You can swear you’ve heard about it on TV before. Or maybe he just has really bad comedic timing? You can at least compliment him.
“You’re funny, Satoru-san.” Because he’s genuinely making you smile now.
“I didn’t give you permission to call me by my name.”
“Oh.” You thought friends were allowed to be on first name basis immediately. Were you wrong about friendships afterall? You stare at the ground for a little longer than needed as punishment for yourself, “Sorry, Gojo-s—“
“I didn’t give you permission to call me by my last name either.” His hand squeezes yours ever tighter in small retaliation, his face turned away from yours to hide the way he was starting to grow red with rapid embarrassment.
(You can still see the tips of his ears burning red.)
Now you’re just confused. A scratch of your head as you try to think a little bit harder.
“…do I just call you friend, then?” And you can hear him stifle a snort.
“You’re really weird.” He squeezes your palm again. “Lose the honourifics, weirdo.”
(“So, Gojo…?” You test the waters again. You see his eyes stare off to the side in thought for just that one moment before they flick back to meet your gaze.
“Satoru.”)
“My house is that one,” Your small fingers point towards the horizon, a quaint, unassuming home coming into sight. “You have to walk 3 houses down from the playground.”
You stop before the front. Trying to loosen your grip only to feel his hand tighten significantly around yours.
“Satoru.” You call his name when he’s seemingly lost in thought, his eyes staring blankly at your humble home. It almost looked as if he hasn’t seen one before. “It’s getting late.”
“Oh.” Is he copying you now?
“Don’t you need to go back home? Your Mama would be mad if you’re late, wouldn’t she?” You probe a little more in efforts to snap him out of his trance, poking at his squishy face to get his attention.
But to no avail.
He doesn’t say anything, his head only turning to the side to stare you straight in the eye as you await. You see how pinks and blues are practically reflecting off of those crystalline optics, the sky reflected in them as they shine with a certain warmth.
“Can I come by tomorrow?”
——
A small knock at your front door early into the morning, when the sun had barely risen and the skies were still painted in shades of night blue.
To be specific, it was 6:00 AM. Your Mama was startled as she sipped coffee in the kitchen, you hear her shuffling downstairs, hear the clatter of the very few kitchenware you had as you begin to stir from your sleep, your brain flaring into overdrive as you try to sniff out the air— Trying to capture whiffs of that rancid scent that you hate so much—
Nothing. Nothing but the growing smell of rotting flowers that sends jitters down your spine. It worries you, sends you into a panic as you practically trip over yourself to run downstairs, disregarding any of the instructions of hiding away in the closet like your Mama had taught you beforehand. You have to check— Have to see if she’s okay—
The door is already open.
“Is (name) home?” He’s the first to talk, eyes flicking back and forth between the slightly open door and the dim light from within your home and your sleepy mother.
Mama only blinks down at him, her phone on speed-dial to the police releasing its tense grip as her shoulders visibly slump forward. Her scent calming from the initial flare up as she opens the door just that little more to allow her full view of Gojo Satoru standing before your home accompanied solely by a pretty lady dressed in a simple kimono.
“Yes… She is—“
“Good morning, (last name)-sama.” A low bow that takes your mother by surprise. “Our young master has scheduled a playdate with your daughter for today.”
“I— Um, heard, yes. But I certainly didn’t expect it to be this early—“ Your Mama shifts in place a little uncomfortably, taking note of how the sun had yet to rise, how the street lamps were still alight.
“We apologize for the disturbance.” The servant girl swoops down into another polite bow, head low and hands holding out a neatly wrapped gift before her. “These are snacks to show our gratitude for hosting this event. Young Master Gojo was looking forward to this arrangement, and had made preparations to come as early as possible.”
What an… Interesting child.
“As I am not allowed to accompany him inside due to his request, please also take this number with you, (last name)-sama. Do not hesitate to call us if anything arises. I will arrive to pick him up when he wishes to go.”
“Ah, um… Thank you…” The box feels heavy in your Mama’s hands as you tug on her pajamas from behind, peeking out slightly once you hear the door close.
“Gojo-kun… Was it?” She has to blink a few times to really get a good look at the snowy-haired boy.
“How did you say your friend looked again?” She’s picking up a dumpling with her chopsticks, gently laying the food onto your plate as you continue to chew in humming delight.
Your training chopsticks are clacking against each other as you smile up at her, all toothy grin and happy glow.
“He’s really cute.”
She figures it checks out, the doll-like, porcelain features of his face, the shiny blue eyes and his silky looking hair. He doesn’t say anything, furrowed brows and curiosity in his eyes as he scrutinizes her too, the air starting to still just that little bit when he nods at her in greeting.
As if he was acknowledging her… And as if he didn’t know how else to react.
“It’s nice to meet you.” She leans down to shake his hand, noticing the softness of his skin, the grip of his hand. “And thank you for the gift.”
You pop out from hiding behind your Mama’s legs, blinking at how his clothing had switched from the pretty kimono yesterday— To a simple shirt and shorts.
“Satoru.” You smile only slightly, your voice dimmed with the raspiness of just waking up, waving your hand in greeting. “You’re not wearing your pretty clothes anymore.”
Mama watches, watches how his gaze had been fixated on you the moment you appeared, how he’s waiting—
“I’ll leave you both to it, then.” A ruffle of your hair as you let out a quiet giggle. “Make sure to wash up and brush your teeth.”
“Okay.”
And when she’s out of sight, her footsteps disappearing down the hallway— He starts to speak more.
“Your house is tiny.” Small. Inferior. Almost unlivable. He swears he’s seen servant quarters bigger than this as he kicks his sneakers off by the genkan, dusting himself of imaginary dust as he climbs up the step, his hand somehow finding yours with almost scary accuracy.
Is it? You always felt that it was too big. Always having too much space that you didn’t know what to do with.
“I think it’s nice.” You can feel yourself squeezing his palm with gentle self-assurance, leading him up the stairs and into the bedroom where your futon still laid upon the ground messily.
He sees darkness, hears the soft pads of your socks against tatami mats. Smells the faintest scent of honey within this room.
He stares. Silently, quietly. At the hadakake of your futon, at the thinner blanket that your Mama had taken out to deal with the sweltering heat of summer, at the overall state of the room.
“Are you poor?” You blink at him when he lays down next to you on his side, the softness of the bedding making your body feel heavy and sleepy, feeling a bit too lazy to want to keep the comfy sheets away.
“No.” Your whisper is quiet, soft. As if you were slowly fading away into sleep. “I have enough.” And he knows you’re telling the truth when you just give him a sleepy smile, a yawn escaping your lips as you cuddle against your pillow, eyes losing focus and turning the sight of your friend into a bleary blue and white.
”So I’m happy with just this.”
And he thinks you’ve really gone crazy.
“Good morning, Satoru…” Because you’re pretty sure you have yet to say it, as weird as it is when you’re in the midst of falling asleep.
“…morning.”
He’s fun to be around.
——
A couple weeks have passed, the same days of Satoru coming around to knock at your door too early in the morning, your sleep-deprived Mama getting the door and letting him in—
Only to end with both you and him sleeping in on your futon until early afternoon, when you both awaken only to play… Whatever, really. The playground, drawing at home, building pillow forts…
Mama tells you she doesn’t mind if he wants to come over, doesn’t mind if Satoru wants to play with you so often when she’s off to work. She tells you what really matters is what you want, that its up to you if you want him to come over this often, that it’s your choice to play with him.
(Mama described him once as ‘clingy’. You don’t know what that means, but you think it’s good. You have a friend. Your only friend.)
So you told him to only come once every 2 days, that you think too much interaction may ruin your alone time with Mama… Only to be met with a pout and eyes that teetered almost on watery even as you pat his head and apologise.
He still listened to you, though. Despite the glare to the side and the very evident pout on his face everytime he realises he doesn’t get to see you the next day—
Though, as of recently, Satoru had been the last thing on your mind. Your eyes taking interest in and stuck onto the house next door instead. It’s always been empty, more barren than your own. But it’s gotten ‘renovated’ as your Mama said, the walls losing their dull shade and obtaining a new shine, the boarded windows replaced with shiny, clear glass.
It looked really nice.
“Stop staring at the ugly house and look at me insteaddddddd!” Ever selfish, ever vying and whining for you to give him your undivided attention.
“(nameeeeeeeeeeee).”
“It’s not ugly, though.” You think it looks quaint, looks prettier than your own. “It looks pretty.” You’re curious what kind of people are gonna live there. Are they gonna be an old couple like how Satoru always claims? Maybe it’ll be a nice middle aged lady who likes to share her pickled vegetable dishes?
You just hope they’re nice.
“How much do you think it costs to rent-uh-vate?” Your stare is still pointed at the house next door, your window directly facing one of their rooms as you stare with curious intensity.
He narrows his eyes at the view of the empty rooms, the windows that still lacked curtains and the blank white of their freshly painted walls.
“Not much, I’m pretty sure.”
Probably not much in his terms, anyway.
“Mama said she thinks they’re gonna move in today.”
“Really? Then let’s watch ‘em later then.” He lets out a huff as he rolls around your floor, watching you settle down cross-legged next to him as he makes a grab for you. “I don’t wanna play at the playground t’day.”
“Oh. Okay then, let’s play the cards you brought then—“ Your words die on your lips, body reeling back to the window at the telltale beep of a horn, the loud rumbling of a truck starting to pull into the street just mere meters away from you.
And that has the both of you clambering up to the window, his hand holding yours to ensure you don’t fall as you both squeeze to stand on the same stool, hands pressed up against the glass as your cheeks squish against each other in hopes of getting a view of what these people will look like.
“If it’s not an old couple, can we play on the swing today?”
“Y’er on.”
Your eyes watch the dark blue Toyota pull in close behind, your heart starting to race in palpitating beats that make you think you’re gonna be sick.
“Looks cheap.” Satoru’s still as snarky as ever.
The passenger door swings open, mesmerizing you with the sight of someone new, someone unfamiliar; a stranger that you’ve never seen before. Your gaze is stuck, unable to leave the features that capture your mind first—
Black hair and purple eyes.
masterlist next
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teenytinyjimin · 8 months ago
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i miss you, i’m sorry (j. jungkook)
nothing happened in the way i wanted
every corner of this house is haunted
and i know you said that we’re not talking
but i miss you, i’m sorry.
summary: the first time seeing each other after the breakup is always the hardest. but seeing each other when you're still in love? an absolute nightmare
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2k
tags: angst, smoker!jk, brokenhearted!jk, equally as brokenhearted!reader, why did they even break up in the first place?, featuring reader’s bestfriend!jimin, also jimin is sexually ambiguous let's keep it that way please
warnings: none, alcohol/nic use but nothing too intense, kinda sad but it's a happy ending i promise
author’s note: idk why i keep making my fic names and stuff inspired by songs, i guess it just helps me beat writers block.
also i wrote this in second person, lmk if you guys prefer that over third. i personally find third person fics easier to write, but i'm sure second person is easier to read for some of you. enjoy my angels!
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
Bars weren't really your thing.
If you were going to be honest, they were miles better than nightclubs, but still not your thing. It was something about the air that just rubbed you the wrong way. Perhaps it was all the creepy old men that turned you off of them, or just the fact that there's not much to do besides sit, drink, sit some more, maybe play some pool and... sit.
Jimin, on the other hand, loved bars. He loved being able to sit there, look pretty, and watch as absolutely anyone and everyone flocked over to him to start a conversation. It admittedly fueled his ego, and he loved the feeling of being the center of attention. However, he didn't love being at bars alone. Being so drop-dead gorgeous meant that about twenty times the amount of creeps bothered him than the average bar patron. Many of them figured that a pretty boy like him was sitting there waiting to be swooped up by a sugar daddy. Let's get one thing straight – that wasn't him. He had plenty of money. He just wanted to have a little conversation, give a little kiss here and there maybe, and dip at the end of the night with his bar companion by his side.
Unfortunately for you, that bar companion was usually you. It was certainly a compliment for Jimin to want to bring you along with him instead of any of his other gazillions of friends and other social connections, but it was quite exhausting for you to be in a bar pretty much every day of every weekend. He liked the attention, but you didn't. If it were an empty room with nothing but you and a bottle of rum, you'd have a blast. But what bar in Itaewon was going to be like that?
Alas, here you were, sat at the end of a bar with your friend sitting next to you. Something about the light in the building made him look extra beautiful tonight, his skin shimmering like the most precious of diamonds and his eyes deep and full of allure. At the moment he was making small talk with a lady on the other side of him, one who was definitely at least twenty years his senior but didn't look a day past thirty. Sighing, you drop your head down to look at your drink, a half-full martini glass that held a rather disappointing cosmopolitan (you weren't a vodka fan anyway, it wasn't the bartender's fault).
You wanted to be home. That was the only place you ever wanted to be these days. At home, cuddling your darling kitty in bed, and sleeping your days away. Maybe a year ago you would have loved being out and about, but now it feels more like a burden than a fun activity. And you know that Jimin doesn't mean any harm in doing what he does, but seeing him talk with so many people over the course of the night and being so happy is almost a bit gut-wrenching for you because you can't be as happy as him.
You began to feel the blood rush to your ears and your face get warm. Something was wrong, you could sense it. Everyone has those gut instincts when something isn't quite right, and this wasn't just an instinct, it was like a neon sign. A neon sign that read DANGER. Perhaps it was just you feeling rather anxious and overwhelmed, but either way you were craving the comfort of your home.
"Hey, 'Minnie, can we-" Just as you turned to Jimin to softly ask him if you could go home or at the very least switch bars, you felt a presence behind you. It wasn't just an I'm here to order a drink presence, but rather an I'm here for you one. Realizing that Jimin wasn't even listening anyway, you froze, waiting to see what would happen. And that's when you heard a familiar voice that you thought you'd never hear again.
"Hey."
You didn't want to turn around. You tried to stay as still as a statuette for as long as possible, however the more you thought about the man behind you the more you felt the urge to turn around and take a bite of the forbidden fruit. Taking a deep breath, you slowly turned until you were face-to-face with your ex, Jungkook.
"Want to talk outside?" Not yet looking at him directly, you hesitantly nodded before quickly looking back to Jimin and then standing up. You left your purse there, figuring that your friend would grab it if he changed locations, and began trailing after the tall tattooed figure that navigated his way toward the door.
As the two of you stepped out into the cool autumn air, you crossed your arms and leaned against the building. Your heart was between your ears at this point, buzzing at what felt like 200 beats a minute. It was stupid for you to have even left Jimin's side, you thought, because now you were alone with your ex of all people and God knows what this boy has up his sleeve.
"You look good," Jungkook said gently as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. "And I know what you're going to say, you're so full of it Kook, but I mean it."
"Since when have you started smoking?" You asked, ignoring his previous two statements and gesturing toward the pack in his hand. He shrugged. "Couple weeks after I last saw you maybe? Not a big deal."
"You know that stuff's bad for you."
"I don't think sitting here third-wheeling with Jimin and his beau of the night is any better."
"You don't know Jimin, don't act like you do," You said, completely taken aback and offended by the words coming out of his mouth. "And I'm having a good time, thank you very much."
"Doesn't seem like it. Weren't you about to ask him if you guys could leave?"
"I was having- What?- Is there a reason you asked to talk to me out here?" You were struggling to form a complete sentence. This man always knew how to leave you speechless, but now it was just irritating. You watched as Jungkook leaned back onto the building with you and shook his head, giving you a toothy grin before lighting the cigarette in his mouth. "Nah. Just figured you'd have more fun out here talking to me and getting a break from it all."
"You know he's waiting for me, right? I should go back inside." You stand back up straight and begin walking back into the bar, however you feel a warm hand wrap gently around your wrist and tug you back. "Hey hey hey," Jungkook called. "He'll survive a few minutes without you. Just chill with me. I'm not asking you for anything, just a second of your time."
You turned to face your ex-lover, your eyes finally meeting his for the first time that night. Even after all this time of being apart, those beautiful doe eyes still yearned for you, and yours for him. With a shaky sigh, you brush his hand away and return to where you were standing. "Exes don't hang out like this, Jungkook."
"Woah, you're pulling out the full government name on me now?" The boy teased, puffing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. "Should I be offended?"
"I'm setting boundaries," You crossed your arms and kicked at the ground beneath you. "Nicknames are for friends or more than friends, which we aren't."
"We aren't strangers either though."
"That doesn't matter. Not friends."
"Alright, fine," Giving up, Jungkook looked down at his hand and flexed it awkwardly. "Just trying to be friendly."
"Friendly?!" You said frantically, finally having enough of his antics. "You don't need to be friendly. We broke up and that's the end of it. Exes aren't friends. They go their separate ways and when they see each other again – if they see each other – they ignore each other. I don't get why you're doing this psychological warfare bullshit on me."
"Exes can be friends," He breathed out in protest. "Can you even tell me why we broke up in the first place?"
You remained silent. The truth was that you didn't know why you broke up either. It had been almost a year since the whole ordeal went down, and you were still confused more than anything else, even more than you were hurt. All you can remember is that you guys went through some bullshit ‘mutual breakup’ that apparently neither of you wanted in the first place. The only reason you even agreed to it is because somewhere within you, you felt like perhaps you weren’t deserving of such a wonderful relationship. And the only reason Jungkook agreed to it is because he thought that it’s what you wanted.
"No, seriously. What went wrong? What did I do? I just want some closure..." His voice became increasingly softer as he kept speaking, which only meant one thing. You stared at the ground intensely, refusing to look up and see his teary eyes.
You felt his hand gently wrap around yours and tug on it as a plea for your attention. Jungkook was your weakness, the only person you'd willingly do anything for, and he really loved to take advantage of that without even realizing he was.
You peered up at him hesitantly, worried that you'd find yourself in tears the second you saw the ones pouring from his eyes. Sure enough, when the eye contact began, you were driving yourself forward into his strong arms and dampening his shirt with your tears.
Jungkook's embrace felt the same as it did the last time you felt it. It was still so warm, so inviting, so loving. Never once did you feel unsafe in his arms and this moment was not an exception. As you sobbed into his shirt you felt his hand move from around your waist to the top of your head, stroking your hair gently.
The two of you stood there for what seemed like hours, simply letting all emotion out while enjoying the company of one another. While Jungkook has been exceptionally transparent in expressing the fact that he's heartbroken about the situation between the two of you, it's safe to say that you feel equally as devastated. This man was once the love of your life and the only one you ever needed, but now everything about him except for his embrace feels foreign. This was someone you once saw yourself building a life with, but now it's shattering to think that he has a life after you.
You pulled away after a while, refusing to make eye contact as you wiped the tears from your eyes. This all felt entirely pointless. It was obvious that nothing went wrong in the relationship yet here you were, no longer in one. You couldn't begin to imagine what Jungkook had been going through since you guys broke up considering the fact that for you, your entire world turned upside down.
"I'm sorry," You managed to choke out before you felt Jungkook's hand gently guide your face up to look at his. You watched him stare at you for a moment, taking in your features, before his lips began to curl into a soft smile. "Mmm. Yeah. You're way too pretty to let slip through my fingers."
Feeling your face turn hot as a blush crept to your cheeks, you let out a soft giggle before you were cut off by a familiar pair of lips meeting yours.
"JUNGKOOK?" You heard a voice call out. The two of you pulled apart, eyes wide. Shit. You forgot about Jimin.
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acowardinmordor · 1 year ago
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You Left Me - You Miss Me - Six
Sup, I finally wrote the next part. Mostly because of someone trying to find it via the fic finder blog, which gave me a big ol spike in anxiety about the lack of update.
Part One .... Part Four - Part Five
---
“Rob, no.”
“Don’t you tell me ‘no,’ Steven Dingus Harrington!”
“You can’t drive to Hawkins and kill the guy.”
“Oh yes I can! I'll take your bat with me!”
“Babe, you still don’t know how to drive, and I have work in the morning so I can’t take you.” 
“I’ll figure it out on the way!”
She wouldn’t. She wasn't going to drive to Hawkins. She would definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent kill Munson if she had the chance and Steve didn’t talk her out of it, but Robin wasn’t going to leave him alone when he’d had a breakdown an hour earlier. She wouldn’t let him sleep alone for the next few days, and she would go to work with him in the morning, and she’d probably skip her Stats class so she could stick by him after work too. 
It took Robin about thirty seconds to realize something had happened. 
That was the gap between her opening the car door, and Steve speaking. All he said was “hey, Robs” and she cut off her ramble about chlorofluorocarbons. The same way he could tell by the sound of her stirring soup, or which color eye shadow she wore, she knew immediately something had happened. 
She touched his arm.
And he had a breakdown in the college parking lot. 
Steve updated the tag on the side of the box and put it back on the shelf. He was,technically, working. Robin was ranting and using a tie-dye shirt as a prop. 
“You don’t need to crash our car trying to go kill a guy I’m not even mad at.”
“Ugh,” she flapped the shirt at him and slouched against the edge of the shelving unit. “Why not? Why are you not mad at him? How? I’m mad at him! He took the kids away from you! They’re annoying little shitheads but you loved them and he jus---”
“Rob,” he interrupted softly. He couldn’t get into that side of it right now. 
“Sorry. Sorry. But you’re not this nice, Stevie. You’re wonderfully bitchy and petty and it’s one of my favorite things about you, and I don’t get this. He sucks! This was super shitty! Why aren’t you mad at him for being an asshole?”
“It’s not his fault.”
“He said it was his fault!”
Eddie blamed himself, and maybe it was his fault, but it didn’t matter. Not in comparison.
“Are you going to inventory anything tonight, or is this just going to be me?”
“No! And why are you working?”
Because if he stopped, if he let himself turn his full attention towards it, he was going to fall apart again, and stupid as it was, checking inventory used up just enough of his focus that he couldn’t drown. Steve flicked through the stack of size smalls, and wrote it down on the list. “Uh, because we’re at work?”
“We both work tomorrow tonight and there is no way that Mary or Nick have ever looked at the stock sheets in their life, they aren’t going to look tomorrow either. No one will know.”
“I’ll know.” He glanced up to make eye contact for a second, and she caved with a groan. 
“If you were anyone but my soulmate, buddy…” She folded the shirt terribly, shoved it into the gap between the cardboard and the other shirts, and finally closed the box. 
Letting the silence settle gave Steve a minute to breathe, and reset himself without the rising tension. She knew that, and waited until, unspoken, she knew he was ready to keep going. 
“Steve.”
“I am mad, Robs. I am. You know that it’s.. At the kids, and at Hopper, and at myself for agreeing to this stupid idea, but I’m not mad at him.” 
“Why does he get special treatment?”
Hearing how that sounded, he tried again, “No, uh. I’m mad at him, but, like, the same way you get mad when the grandma in the crosswalk is going really slow and then drops something and goes back, and you end up stuck waiting again even though you should have made it through the light before. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s not like grandma was doing it specifically to fuck with you. She’s just, you know, shopping or whatever. 
“It wasn’t like there was a friendship there that he betrayed. He did something for his own life and it was sorta sucky, and it sucks for me, but he feels really shitty about it, so I don’t think he meant for them to, you know, vanish.”
Robin thumbed down the stack of Levis, whispering the count as she went. Three more sizes got counted before she responded. 
“You carried him out of there. You saved his life.”
Steve hummed absently. “He wasn’t bleeding that bad. His trash lid kept most of them off. I panicked when I saw blood and picked him up.”
“And that doesn’t make you friends?”
“It’s not like I only saved him because it was him. Not like I stopped and thought about whether I should get the bleeding guy to the hospital. Lifeguard, remember?” 
The other half of the thought, he bit back. He’d had nightmares about Billy after Starcourt. Dreams where he could have saved him, and didn’t. Where he could have saved Max from having to see that, having to recover from that. He saw Eddie bleeding, he saw one of his kids screaming, and there wasn’t a thought in his head. Just the need not to let it happen again. Not again. Not Dustin too. 
He kept his eyes on the inventory form so she didn’t see that part. 
“Still think it should have mattered more. Life saving creates friendships.”
“He was unconscious. I know you don’t know much about how guys act with each other, but generally both dudes are awake when they become friends.”
She snorted at his weak joke, throwing her pencil at him. It wasn’t anywhere near her. 
“New record, champ,  that one wasn’t even close enough for me to pretend to dodge it.”
“Ugh, I hate you.”
“Love you too, Robs.”
He got through a full set of kids dress shirts in peace, counted and listed. Then he pulled down the crate of kid’s dresses, next on the list to check. 
The whole can of worms would tear open when, if, when Eddie showed up with something from the kids. There was no version of that day that wouldn’t end with him falling apart. If he skimmed them, if he burned them, if he read them, if he wrote back, if he refused to take them at all, it didn’t matter. He was going to fall to pieces. 
If they wrote and it was real, if it was petty, if it was anger, if it was grief, if it was gloating he was gone, if it was begging him to come back, if it was proof that it was always fake, always a temporary placeholder until they found someone they actually like. The imminent breakdown was going to be bad no matter what. 
Like those safety videos in school about seat belts. 
Like knowing the car crash was coming, knowing it couldn’t be stopped, and knowing that nothing he did was going to make it any easier to bear. Slow motion, watching a car come -- a beat up old van come towards him. No time to put on a seat belt, no way to brace for it, just accept that it was going to happen and hope you survived.  
Robin cleared her throat to get his attention, and Steve blinked back to himself. 
“Did, uh, did you say something?”
Robin watched him for a minute. He let her this time. It was easier to let her see what he was feeling than try to turn it into words, and he needed her to let it go for now.. 
“I’m going to skip my bio lecture on Friday afternoon.”
“Birdie, you don’t--” 
“You are going to call in sick at the skate rink. We are going to make snickerdoodles and brownies and the cracker bark thing, and order pizza, and we’re going to make ourselves sick eating too much, and we’re going to watch some random movie on mute and make up our own story and dialogue. Got it?”
“Got it,” he smiled.
And it wasn’t going to make it all better. Eating two pounds of butter in a day wasn’t going to make it easier when Eddie showed up, but it was like hitting pause on that video. Car crash was still coming, but he could look away for a while. 
***
Steve clung to the pass shelf from the kitchen as the expected car crash hit him on Monday. John, always eager for the chance to throw someone out of the diner, looked over Steve’s shoulder. It was a nice moment. A nice little thought before he had to face what he’d agreed to. If he asked, John would throw Eddie out. Literally. Nice image, but not the one he got to see.
Instead, he declined the offer, and grabbed the plates. 
“Gimme a minute,” he mumbled to Eddie, heading to the sweet elderly couple celebrating the birth of their second granddaughter with a leisurely breakfast. If he spent an extra minute talking to them, complimenting the polaroid of what seemed to be some kind of mashed potato swaddled in white and pink, it was to get a good tip, not because he was stalling. 
Eddie hadn’t moved when he got back. He was a step back from the counter, stiff, holding a paper grocery bag under one arm, eyes trained on the ugly teal of the stool’s seat.
“Well?” Steve asked bitchily, “Did you bring milk and eggs and bread, honey?”
He put it on the counter, clutching the folded top hard, like he was making sure it stayed shut. 
Like it was full of spiders or something. Mutual sentiment.
Steve grabbed it, tossing it onto the shelf where they kept personal belongings and the leftovers they’d called dibs on. He hadn’t expected Eddie Munson to be up to Franklin at eight am on a Monday. Eddie wasn’t a morning person. Steve thought he’d have a few more hours to brace. Now he had to deal with customers while that bag burned a hole in the back of his head. 
Luckily, Rebecca was serious when she said he could get mean with guests if he wanted to. Today wasn’t a want. It was going to be a necessity. 
Eddie was still standing there. 
“You can tell them I got it, or whatever,” he tried to dismiss him.
Something that looked like the tortured remains of a smile flickered on Eddie’s face. He gave up after a second and nodded too many times. “Thanks. Thank you. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, right?”
It took a minute for Steve to catch up to the question. 
“I haven’t said I’m going to answer them. Or open them. Or keep them.”
Eddie was quiet for a minute, still not looking up, and Steve’s Travel-Size-Robin was vibrating with the need to make him so they could guess what the hell he was thinking. 
“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday mornings?” he repeated. 
“Yeah. Sure, yeah,” Steve gave up. 
Eddie left, and Steve did the entire day’s front of house prep before Susan got in, trying to keep his head away from that damn bag. 
***
Steve didn’t open it. 
He fell asleep in Robin’s bed, grateful he didn’t have other work that evening, and doubly grateful when she made him eat some crackers and drink some water before they passed out for the night. 
If he was waiting for the impact the day before, seeing Eddie again the next day was so unexpected that the crash whooshed past him without an impact. He didn’t sit down, and he looked a little rough, probably from driving to Franklin in the early morning twice in two days. 
“Do you have…?”
“No? No,” Steve boggled at him, “How could I have anything for you to even -- No. Man, no.” 
Eddie nodded. 
Eddie left. 
***
Steve stared at the bag instead of taking a nap before their shift in the stockroom. Didn’t open it, that was way, way beyond him, but he did manage to look directly at it, and it was only a few saltines, but he did successfully eat. 
Robin, angel, light of his life, soulmate and perfect person got in the car after class, handed him a kinda gross protein bar that she stole from an athlete in her class who she didn’t like, and made him eat it. 
She didn’t make him talk about the bag shaped elephant in their apartment, and she spent the entire shift explaining the way Ann Carson’s translations of Greek plays had totally shifted how people read them, making them more accessible, and how the push to do the same with Shakespeare was incredible. 
When he went to crawl into his own bed that night, she grumbled, brought her favorite pillow, and climbed in after him. 
***
Eddie walked in at quarter to seven, right after three four tops seated.
“No.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Eddie looked small, probably because he was speaking at a normal volume, sounding like a normal human, which ran opposite to how Eddie was in Hawkins. He also looked like crap. 
“Why are you here, dude? You hate mornings. You don’t have to leave that early, I work until one.”
Eddie scrunched his face, but didn’t answer that. 
“No?” he asked instead.
Someone at table six shouted ‘waiter!’ 
“I’ll bring your coffee in a damn minute!” Steve yelled back, half turning with the carafe in his hand.
“Steve?”
“Look, I don’t have anything for you. Nothing. You don’t need to waste your time. I haven’t opened it.”
“There’s more than one -- oh,” Eddie scrubbed over his face. “Okay. Yeah. Okay. Do-- Are you going to? Open it.”
Thinking about opening it made him want to run away to Canada. 
Thinking about never knowing made him want to puke. 
Whatever weird face Steve made was something Eddie could translate. He only raised his head for a moment, just long enough to look. But then he covered his face with both hands, taking a deep breath that shuddered on the exhale. 
“See you Monday,” he said as a goodbye.
“Where’s my coffee?” the same guy yelled. Steve didn’t have the energy to deal with customers and whatever the fuck was going on with Eddie’s early morning emotional mess. 
“Wait a second,” he complained to both of them at once. Steve grabbed one of the big mugs, the ones they used for the expensive hot chocolate, filled it with coffee, and set the pour jar of sugar next to it. He looked from Eddie to the cup, pointedly. “Don’t crash. Bring the cup back with you.”
The asshole yelled for him again, and Steve turned on the terrifyingly polite smile that Robin had helped him hone. Then he deployed it on the asshole at table six. 
---------------
We are headed towards Steddie, on a path that will, hopefully, not feel like I brushed off all this to get there. However. Wow, they're hurting right now. You can't have Eddie's pov yet, it would spoil things, but. just. trust me. ow.
Still don't do tag lists. Once I know how many parts it'll be, this will go to Ao3, promise.
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fvnalgirlcomplex · 1 year ago
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PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES
and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)
warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing
masterlist, series masterlist
fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )
summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.
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bought a bunch of makeup,
tryna cover up my face
i started to skip lunch,
stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays
youruser
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liked by lhughes and 56,890 others
youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield
view 182 comments…
colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.
youruser anything for a fan
user19 she’s so cocky omg
yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(
youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!
jackhughes ❤️
liked by youruser
user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo
jackhughes
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liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others
jackhughes birthday girl 🎂
view 367 comments…
_quinnhughes haps
youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔
user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀
user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1
user63 bro could do sm better
trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣
user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹
user7 no..
user329 why are you so miserable
user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup
“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”
“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”
Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.
“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.
“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.
“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.
You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?
‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’
there’s always somethin’ in the mirror
that i think looks wrong
when pretty isn’t pretty enough,
what do you do?
You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.
You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.
But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.
“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.
“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.
It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.
Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.
Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.
“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.
njdwag.updates
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liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others
njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛
view 103 comments…
theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷
user273 jacks like 🥹
user33 is this a safe space?
user649 depends…
user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/
user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??
liked by 208 others
user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that
user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀
user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!
and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you
i could change up my body and change up my face
i could try every lipstick in every shade
but i’d always feel the same
‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways
njdwags
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liked by 1,266 others
njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!
view 103 comments…
user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO
user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty
user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(
liked by njdwags
user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart
user683 ugly ass
user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…
user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀
and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see
it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine
it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed
it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try
It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.
You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.
And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.
It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.
Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.
So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.
And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.
and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy
i chased some dumb ideal my entire life
and none of it matters and none of it ends
you just feel like shit all over again
Was this silly? It feel silly.
This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.
Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.
“We’re home!”
Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.
“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.
“Bathroom!”
You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.
“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.
“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”
“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.
“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”
Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.
“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde, go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”
Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”
You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.
After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”
“Jack!”
“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.
“No blonde.”
Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.
“So… can we get that shower now?”
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sparklingcid3r · 1 month ago
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I promised a rumble rundown, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s go🙏 also here's the yt vid i used lol
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0:14-0:17
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Paul says, “Hello, Darrel. Long time, no see” and then immediately starts checking him out with that upside down smile, ik what u think abt 👁️👁️
0:24-0:27
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“I’ll take you” yeah Paul I’m sure u will 🙄 Darry’s cold af w the staredown tho, it’s unfortunate that Pony and Soda have do a full head turn to look at each other like “IKKK he ain’t j said that”
0:27-0:31
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DALLAS MY GLORIOUS KING ARRIVES,, shirtless??? And the crowd goes mild‼️ Pony also gets popped in the face and down he goes, it was so good that he was here for just a little bit, everyone say bye now bc the next time he shows up in the fight u won’t even know it’s him I’m deadass
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0:48-0:55
Soda is ripping into this guy right, my baby’s a champion!! And then gets up and kinda… walks past Steve getting his ass beat lmao. He even puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself as he goes by😭
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He just misses the mean double gut punch Steve tanks like the unit he is, because Steve GRABS THIS MAN’S PUNCH and RIPS one across his face, it was beautiful. Masterclass in the ring I’m afraid
0:56-0:58
Okay. I need to give yall the play by play for this single two-second sequence because it was genuinely the greatest clip of cinema I’ve ever seen in my life.
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Paul’s got Darry out of frame and he’s confident, dare I say cocky. He’s doing the universal hand signals for “Cmon, hit me bro.”
And I’m gonna say this next part softly. Lean in and listen to me:
When I tell u that Darry clocks Paul in the face, I don’t mean he just clocks Paul in the face. Darry rises like a phoenix from the ashes and swings so hard that everyone around him can feel the aftershocks. Paul has just experienced the equivalent of a steel boxing glove to the dome. Teeth are flying. Paul will have no recollection of this moment for the rest of his life. Take a look at this.
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Alr now we back up because YOU CAN SEEEE THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION. This man starts BAILING. The minute Darry spins back, Paul’s got bug eyes, all “Hold up. Wait a minute. He really ‘bout to clock my shit.” He did not want that smoke NEARLY as much as he thought he did, and ykw? I don’t blame him 🤷‍♀️ 
Letting yall know that I had to go back and slow down the playback speed so that I could bask in the glory that is Darrel Curtis’s behemoth of a punch. Geologists are losing their minds wondering how volcanoes are erupting and mountains are shifting, unaware of what just happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
1:00-1:03
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Dally bitch slapping a dude is a great way to kick off the one-minute mark, and a good kick to the ribs just for funsies ig. U go girl🫶
1:04-1:07
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Hottest Two-Bit has ever looked sorry
1:19-1:21
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Alr Dally is literally picking people up and WWE rocking their shit as he slams them to the ground. That kid was dropped neck first. How did Pony not have to write a sequel.
1:22-1:24
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Just an entire sequence dedicated to Soda mewing even as he gets bitched in the face. It’s alr tho, he got his get back
1:47-1:49
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Istg I’m not tripping, u listen and u can hear Pony screaming for Darry yall I thought this was supposed to be a good time, I’m actually sobbing
1:55-2:01
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STEVE CLUTCHES UP??? DEADASSSS that was the CLEANEST three-shot KO I’ve ever seen, then he body flips the guy behind him??? I WASN’T FAMILIAR W UR GAME, RANDLE 🙏
2:09-2:15
The Socs are kind of getting ready to retreat at this point but rq we gotta check in on the exes, Paul’s getting clowned on again lmfao.
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This man tried to kick Darry, then when Darry’s got his foot and is getting ready to spin him like that pigskin, he’s PULLING on Darry’s HAIR??? Man, just leave 😭 ur cooked. And the last time we see him, he’s CRAWLING AWAY😭😭 at least STAND UP
2:24-2:27
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Pony’s getting washed in a 6v1 it ain’t his fault this time, bless up. Luckily my goat Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. pulls up and literally starts throwing bodies. Absolutely spectacular that I get to live in the same lifetime as this movie.
2:30-2:32
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Darry’s asking, “Ponyboy, you okay?” and some NOBODY tries to grab Darry’s shoulders. Who do u think u are???
3:35-3:45
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Greasers get the W👏
So in conclusion I think we can all agree that if u are locked in an iso with Darry, just offer up ur cheek and get it over w. Ur not getting the dub. Roll down ur sleeves and go home, ur benched.
Sorry this is messy af, I'm just having fun rn LMFAO
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prentissluvr · 3 months ago
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love you again — sam winchester
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cw : gn!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, implied exes to lovers, canon typical injury and blood, hospitals, pet names (honey, sweetheart), 2K words. requested !
summary : you and sam have a past that’s rekindled during the panicked moments where he finds you bleeding out on a hunt.
MOVED BLOGS TO @sammyluvr !! no longer active on this blog! all fics can be found there!
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sam was thinking about you yesterday, again. he’s been wondering how you are, wondering if you’d hate a text from him, wondering if you’d pick up a call. he’s been wondering a whole lot, and it’s mostly about you. some about himself. he wonders how to apologize for growing distant, he wonders if he’d be better for you if you gave him the chance. he wonders if you blame him and hopes that you don’t because he doesn’t blame you. it was his fault for letting things start to fade out first, but for a while it stung that you never tried to bring him back to you.
back then, it was what he needed. someone that would hold his hand tighter were he to loosen his own grip. and he supposes you needed someone who was already sure of things, who wouldn’t pull away in the first place. so, he doesn’t blame you.
sam also wonders about silly little things. like how you might’ve reacted to your favorite west coast family diner shutting down. he was disappointed when he found out, but he was downright sad for you. he wonders about what kind of hunts you're going on and he wonders if you still carry that little old silver blade that desperately needs replacing.
and since he was thinking about you yesterday, that means he thought about you this morning, in the hazy moments between waking and getting up and going. since then it’s been all research and interviews and cracking the case the second day in town. before you cross his mind again, he and dean are in the impala on the way to take out a nest of vampires.
but of all the many times that sam has thought of you since you parted, not once did he envision finding you like this.
sprawled out on the dirty ground in a pool of blood.
certainly, he’s thought about you dying and how completely horrifying that would be. how sad and heartbreaking. all of the things he’d never get to say to you. but he always thought he’d hear through a mutual hunter friend, never that he’d be the one to find you bleeding out.
the moment he realizes the body on the floor is yours, all of the blood drains from his face. he gasps out your name and tuckes his machete away as he drops to your side. your eyes are still open, and your breath comes out with a horrid, shuddering sound.
“hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he assures you, immediately locating the wound on your neck and pressing a steady hand against it to slow the blood. your eyes are already fluttering, and you look like you’ll pass out any moment now. “stay with me, honey,” he says, voice both stern and soft. the sweet pet name slips out on instinct. you’re his honey, even now. maybe especially now.
“suh-sam?” you rasp out, fighting for breath. you can’t even figure out if he’s real. maybe you’re delirious as you bleed out pathetically. you killed all the vamps except the one that got to you. that one fled when car headlights filtered through the drawn blinds of the room, before it could fully sink its fangs into your neck. if it had gotten to your artery, you’d probably be dead already, and that’s the only thing that gives you hope. plus, you realize that the headlights of the car must have been sam, and most likely dean too. that means it must really be him, after all this time.
“it’s me,” sam assures you. “i got you. just keep your eyes open, okay?”
you let out a shuddering breath in response. “th-there’s j-just one more,” you grunt out, “h-he r-ran.”
“shh, shh, it’s okay. dean’s got it,” sam hushes you swiftly, confused for a moment before realizing that you’re talking about the vamps. “don’t worry about talking, alright, honey?” he won’t be able to stop calling you that, not when he could lose you, in a far worse way this time. “just keep those eyes open for me, and you’ll be alright.”
while you almost want to protest, to say something to him, anything, you stop trying to talk. it’s taking far too much effort. you really wish you could comfort him, tell him that you’ll be alright. but in this state, you have to opt for bringing your shaking hand up and wrapping it loosely around his wrist. you give it a small squeeze to show him that you’re there, you’re trying so hard to stay awake just for him.
his heart aches as he feels your weak hold around his wrist and understands its meaning. sometimes he forgets how well he knows you, and right now, it sends a pang of desperation through him.
“i really need you to stay with me,” he says, mantaining that soft and steady tone to keep you grounded. you want to stay with him too, you really do. you want to keep looking at his face, even though it’s blurry and frowning. though, while you do prefer his smile, you’ve always thought that he looks beautiful no matter what. it’s probably cruel of you to find his distressed expression attractive right now, but it’s also true that you’re a little delirious and maybe bleeding out, so you don’t suppose you can be blamed.
it really bothers you that you can’t talk. more than anything, you want to reassure him. you also want to tell him that he’s been sorely missed, that his hair looks very nice like this, and that you really don’t want to die because that means you won’t have the chance to kiss him ever again. maybe you should just say that you’d like the chance to kiss him again. or that you don’t want to die. you’re not really sure.
“dean!” sam yells suddenly, voice gruff and loud and tinged with panic. if you weren’t slipping away, you’d have flinched. things begin to blur then; sam picks you up and practically cradles you in his arms. he’s so soft and he’d be shaky if he could afford to be. but he absolutely can’t, so he’s unwavering instead.
“jesus,” mutters another worried voice, distant, but assumed to be dean’s. you try to focus on the feeling of your head on sam’s shoulder. he’s so solid and broad and that might be the only thing keeping you from just floating away.
everything fades in and out. sam’s big, encompassing hand pressed against your neck. so big that it overflows and his thumb pushes into the flesh of your cheek. your head’s still on his shoulder, but you're in the car now, slumped against familiar leather seats. the sound of the rumbling engine fills your ears and then you’re glad to hear sam again.
“we’re almost to the hospital, sweetheart,” he tells you gently. you grunt out in acknowledgment, soft and quiet. you can’t remember ever hearing his voice like this before. all panicked and sweet and tender. when dean gets hurt, his voice gets all gruff. with you, it’s this never ending gentleness, edged with sharp fear.
in your position, sam or dean probably would’ve made it to the hospital without passing out. but you’re not good with blood loss, even when it could’ve been far worse. you’re scared of dying, as always, but when your eyes flutter closed and your consciousness tilts into darkness, you feel so secure in sam’s arms that you figure you’ll be okay. it’s a strange feeling, and you likely won’t recall it when you wake up.
sam himself is far less calm than you when your head lolls forward.
“hey, hey, hey. honey, please don’t,” he urges, helpless at this point. his plea falls on deaf ears, of course. dean steps on the gas, driving far faster than is safe. it’s late though, and the roads are mostly clear.
sam keeps you close. sam has trouble parting from you at the hospital, but the doctor needs to treat you. everything’s a bit better when he’s told that you’ll be just fine after proper bandaging, rest, and a blood transfusion and iv. everything’s a lot better when he’s back by your side and holding your hand in his.
looking at your face now, cleaned of blood splatter and relaxed in sleep, he’s able to really take in the ways you’ve changed physically. you do look different, but not by too much. he’s mostly just enthralled with how beautiful you are.
there’s also the feeling of the jacket you were wearing, folded nicely across his lap. he’s not really sure why he put it there, instead of leaving it on the bottom of the bed where it was first laid out. but he picked it up, for some reason or another, and felt a lump in the pocket. he knows he probably shouldn’t have looked at your things, but he felt like he had to. sliding his hand into the worn fabric sends a rush through him. once, you held hands in your pocket when it was cold outside. he always runs warm, so you had decided to tuck his hand into your pocket like your own personal hand warmer.
in the pocket, he finds that old silver blade that he thinks about sometimes. it’s even more worn now, and he shakes his head at you softly, affectionately. he bought a new silver knife recently, and if you let him, he’s going to give it to you. then he sits in the chair by your side, placing the jacket in his lap before he takes your hand in his.
the first thing that you feel is a big hand wrapped around yours. and as you draw in a long breath, you know that it’s sam’s. that means that when you get your eyes to open—it’s a little hard right now—you’ll get to see him. another deep breath, and your eyes flutter open.
sam’s grip on your hand tightens a little.
“hey,” he murmurs, eyes scanning your form, looking for discomfort or a way to give you his love. your own gaze settles on his face; his worried brows and small frown and pretty eyes.
“hi,” you whisper, voice hoarse and tired. you squeeze his hand back lightly.
“how you feeling?” he asks softly.
“i’m okay,” you offer, giving him a small smile. you’ve been far worse in the past, you’re just groggy and a little sore. honestly, it’s rare to be this well cared for after getting injured on a hunt, and with sam by your side, it’s sort of nice, even.
sam, of course, considers asking how you really are. but with the way you’re looking at him, all soft and… well, how you used to when things were uncomplicated, he accepts your answer. 
“good. you need anything? water?” he still needs to take care of you somehow.
you can’t help but smile at him again. “water would be nice,” you admit, knowing that it’ll make him feel better to be able to do something for you. that, and your throat really does burn with how dry it is. the gruffness of your voice reflects that. it’s oddly intimate when sam opens the water bottle at your bedside and brings it to your lips, ever careful when he tilts it and lets a bit of water flow into your softly opened lips. it’s intimate enough to make your face all warm with rushing blood.
you still love him. you really do. or maybe you love him again; you can feel that he’s different, and you know that you are, and somehow it feels like his hand fits in yours better tonight… or maybe it just feels more right now.
the time apart was needed, the way it happened still stings a little, and the way that you found each other again was less than ideal. well, sam certainly hates how it happened much more than you do. he had to do all the worrying, all the saving. you got to feel him holding you and hear him calling you honey and see him caring about you so much. so now, you’re just glad for the chance to kiss him again, because it’s that easy to tell that you have it.
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anisespice · 8 months ago
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12:34am — manjiro sano
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Honestly, he should’ve seen it coming.
As soon as they were situated in a secluded area of the quaint, little ramen bar they occasionally visited, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that wouldn’t relent until it revealed itself. The next thing MIKEY knew, right after the server placed steaming food on the table and left the room, a gaggle of low-rate thugs came barreling in, guns drawn and aimed practically in his face with misplaced confidence. He didn’t even flinch, just set his chopsticks back down with a slow exhale through his nose.
“Can I at least eat a little before you try to kill me?” Mikey muttered, disinterested gaze briefly scanning over the opposition, sizing them up. Wack.
“Your last meal’s finna be this bullet, asshole. This what happens when you fuck with the Tokyo Vipers. We don’t care how tough you are, you’re gonna pay for what you did to Boss Nakashima!”
“Who?” Clearly, not the response they were looking for.
A stand-off commenced, his executives quick to pull out their own weapons, choosing a target with full intent to kill. The one guy focused on Mikey remained adamant to land one right between his eyes, resolve unshakable even with two or three guns aimed back at him. He’d give the idiots credit for boldness. Not everyday does the common thug grow the balls to try something with Bonten.
Unfortunately, they chose the wrong night to chase retribution.
“M-Manjiro…what’s happening?”
At the meek sound of your voice, he subtly reached for you under the table. You practically shook like a leaf, doe-eyes wide at the sight of a gun aimed at your lover with hands raised high as if you were also to blame—Definitely not the ‘simple night out’ you anticipated when he invited you to tag along. It was his own fault really, thinking simple was ever an option when it came to his reputation, not even for a night.
“A-Are they gonna kill us?” You cried, scooting closer to lean against his frame for more comfort. It made him relax a smidge, taking it as a good sign. “Please, j-just name your price, whatever the number, and it’s yours! You don’t have to do this-”
“Unless your money can bring back the dead, sweetheart, you can shove it up your ass!”
Mikey felt you jolt. Sparing you a side glance, his thumb caressed your thigh in small, reassuring circles. His poor baby, must be scared out of your mind. The blonde wanted nothing more than to shatter every bone in the bastards who put such an expression on your face.
“Let my girl step out. This doesn’t involve her.”
“The bitch stays. Want ‘er to watch you die.” The assailant hissed, thrusting the gun forward to bump against Mikey’s forehead.
His brow twitched in annoyance, grip around your thigh tightening ever so slightly as his mind filled with various ways to snap the guy’s arm without you bearing witness. The last thing Mikey wanted was you being afraid of him. You were a slice of normalcy in his chaotic life. Call him selfish, but he wanted you to stick around despite the ugly parts of it, hoping to hide it for as long as he could. Evidently, it was short-lived.
He knew he didn’t deserve it. You were too pure for a tainted soul like his, too soft for someone who’d been hardened by life, too—
“Bitch? ”
The whole room came to a halt.
All eyes had flicked over to you, uncertain if that bone-chilling tone came out of such a meek little thing, who not even seconds ago was visibly trembling. Now you were still as stone, delicate features no longer consumed by fear but contempt as you stared down the man with a slight tilt in your head. Even with tears clinging to your lashes, it was very unsettling.
You gave a hollowed chuckle. “Oh, you got me fucked up.”
The assailant blinked. “Wha-?”
“Shut up, let me tell you something,” you abruptly stood, nearly giving the Bonten men heart palpitations, fearing your next sudden move might be your last. Mikey, however, merely watched in stunned silence, hand that comforted you now hovering awkwardly as he blinked up at you. Jabbing a finger into the man’s chest, you hissed, “You can come up in here waving guns all you want, but I’ll be damned if some limped-dick, broke motherfucker calls me out my name.”
He gaped, then fixed his mouth to threaten you. “Sit your ass down before I make you regret ever meeting this scumbag, you little—”
With a quickness, you swing with a crisp thwack! to the side of his head. The room clamored about, even Mikey found himself blinking rapidly at not only your swiftness, but your audacity. With the opposition aiming their guns on you immediately, the executives instantly jetted their attention over to Mikey to gauge his reaction. He remained visual unnerved, save for the slight drop in his jaw.
“SHIT—FUCK,” the man yowled, stumbling back. With his ear ringing, vision blurring with tears, it was a wonder where you kept all that unbridled strength. Was this the same person who feared for their life not even moments ago? When he clumsily regained composure, he looked at you utterly stunned. “D—…Did you just fucking slap me? Have you lost your mind, you crazy—?!”
You raised your hand, making him flinch. “Say it again. I dare you.”
Flabbergasted. Shockandawe. Slightly aroused?
That was the consensus of every gun-wielder in the room, some more than others unable to mask the evident thrill from hearing such vulgar and venomous words drip from such a pretty mouth…Mikey being the first in line. Man’s still gawked with a glint in his eye that could only be described as carnal; since when had his kitten grown claws?
“GYAT.” Ran winced, then gave a snicker. That smack alone bounced off the walls, he just knew that had to smart. “Shake it off, buddy, shake it off.”
Sanzu, with a cackle, exclaimed, “Hit ‘em again!” earning a glare from the aggravated assailant, his gun now pointed at you and no longer on Mikey.
Kakucho grew anxious, the others just as on edge. If they didn’t take action soon, someone was bound to get trigger-happy. The situation was already unpredictable as is, but with your newfound attitude, things were sure to escalate fast. He gruffly voiced, “Boss, what’s our move?…Boss?”
Said blonde paid no kinds of attention.
Head void of any thought aside from your angelic form beneath the soft lighting standing your ground without an ounce of fear, one would think Mikey was in a trance. His bleak stare practically singed right through you, calculative as he watched your pristine facade unravel bit by bit—Such vicious words filled with vinegar and oil, a contrast to your usual peaches and cream, such discourtesy when you’re normally so well-mannered.
How long had you been hiding this side from him?
Mikey thought he had you figured out, from the moment you crossed paths he was certain he’d taint you, the walking cliche of a spoon-fed daddy’s girl who wouldn’t harm a fly, who dated bad boys just to feel something. But now? He wanted nothing more than to unravel you further, leaving you raw and exposed to reveal the devil horns you’d kept hidden behind a false halo.
And frankly, he wouldn’t mind an audience.
“Mikey.” Kakucho urged.
Said blonde hummed in acknowledgment, eyes lazily trailing off you and back at his number three, seemingly distracted. With a wordless exchange, he sighed. Just as things were getting interesting… Mikey reached up and gave the back of your thigh a tender squeeze. You turned to look at him, seething as you rebelled against his silent command. Oh, he’ll enjoy fucking that attitude out of you later.
“Sit down, [_____]. Think you’ve made your point.”
You sneered. “Like hell! My point’s been made when I have this dickhead crawling on his knees, begging for mercy—!”
Before you knew it, you’re grabbed by your thigh and pulled down into his lap. You yelped, arms instinctively shooting out to grab onto something until you landed with a small oof!
As you opened your mouth to protest, your breath hitched and the words catch in your throat at the cool feeling of Mikey’s gun now nudging against your clit through the lace of your underwear. A shutter ran through your body. Thankfully, your little display was enough cover for him to swiftly grab it from his side, playing it off as if he were restraining you.
He leaned in to speak low in your ear. “Cover your ears, baby.”
Goosebumps spread like wildfire across your skin, warmth simmering in the pit of your stomach from both frustration and excitement. Doing as you’re told, you pressed hands into your ears but kept your gaze on the offender in front of you. He was yelling about something, booming voice muffled but no doubt throwing out more threats. His group began to shrink within themselves once the severity of the situation caught up with them, and the odds no longer looked to be in their favor. You almost felt sorry for them; almost.
Before the poor bastard even knew what hit him, the smoking barrel of Mikey’s .45 was the last thing he saw before he hit the cold, hard floor with a hole in the center of his forehead. And just like that, bullets rained from every angle on your side of the room, bodies piling up one after the other until none were left standing. As quick as they came, there they went—Nothing more than stains on what was an originally calm evening.
Your heart pounded in your chest. Mikey could feel it elsewhere.
With his free hand having rested on your inner thigh, thumb dangerously close to where his pistol once was, he could feel a subtle pulse in your clit from the thrilling experience. While his men busied themselves cleaning up the scene, gathering corpses and making disposal arrangements, there was nothing left to distract him from prodding.
“It appears I’ve underestimated you. What other sides have you kept hidden from me, I wonder.” He said, tilting his head.
You whimpered as his thumb pressed against your throbbing little button, biting your lip before replying, “I-I just don’t like.. being talked to that way…”
Mikey hummed, nosing at your jaw. “My sweet girl. She got her feelings hurt, hm?”
It was hard to concentrate with him playing with you beneath the table in front of his subordinates, spreaking low and softly as he littered your sensitive spots with nips and warm kisses. With the little sanity you had left, you nodded. To your horror, you moaned quite loudly when he breached past your underwear to slip two fingers inside of you with ease thanks to your flooding arousal. But, you got over it the second he immediately curled them to hit that spongey area of your walls with a precision that nearly made you see stars.
“Your words, [_____]. You had a lot to say earlier, what happened?”
You gripped his forearm for dear life, jaw dropping as your legs subconsciously spread to give him better access. “Y-Yes!”
He cooed, arm flexing as he pushed his fingers deeper while his thumb stimulated your clit. Your back arched off his front, other hand reaching out to grip the table as you whined shamelessly at the ceiling. Neither of you paid any mind to where you were, or whomever watched, too caught up in the moment. Food had long gone cold and forgotten, bullet fragments scattered at your feet and blood splattered all on the walls. Even with his stomach growling angrily, all he could focus on was devouring you. “‘m sorry, baby. Let me make it all better.”
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© 2024-2025 anisespice ッ all rights reserved.
likes, comments & reblogs much appreciated!
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sanakimohara · 11 months ago
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I am on my knees begging for you to do more Seungmin content, the way you write Chan is so amazing and beautiful but I can’t stop thinking of my main bias Seungmin. Like I saw this pick and my brain turned to mush, all cause of him. Only if you want to tho no pressure. Love your work, keep the good work up 🧡🥰
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“TREAT” K.S.
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Oh?….well since you asked so nicely, I’ll oblige. 🖤
{ MDNI }
WARNINGS: cnc, pet play, master/sir kink, and slight bdsm..
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"I really didn't," your face blooms a deep rose color as Seungmin calmly repeats himself, "Are you sure you want to keep lying to me, pup?.." His gaze, never shifting away from you, sat on your knees in front of him as he lounged against the couch. The differing positions between you solidified where you stood in the relationship.
You at his mercy and him lording over your very existence. A dynamic equally agreed upon some time ago and one you intended to wait to change.
However, at times like this, you wished the strength to stand your ground with Seungmin prevailed over your desire to obey him.
"But I've been perfect all day, sir. I promise I didn't-"Your excuses are cut short as he harshly tugs on the ebony chain in his hand, efficiently pulling it tighter around your neck. A soft gasp tumbles from your lips, melding into a timid whimper as the cold metal digs into your skin and presses down on the collar you have on. Seungmin laughs under his breath as you pant to breathe with your head hanging low to hide the shameful delight clouding your eyes.
He sat up straighter, head lulling to the side as he observed your slumped-over state, "It's so easy to tell when you're lying to me, honey." The chain is pulled tight again, wrapping his fist once to drag your head up and your upper body closer for him to view. Seungmin held your gaze, already seeing them gloss over with desperation as you admitted your faults to him in a hushed tone.
"I…I touched myself once…while you were gone. J-just once," you spill the truth before swallowing thickly and lowering your eyes from his. He scoffed, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he thought about what to do with you, and the anticipation killed you.
Seungmin could be cruel when he wanted to be, and you genuinely hoped he'd find some patience for your nonsense, but the smirk on his face was all it took to realize that wouldn't be the case.
"Lying, touching yourself without my explicit permission, and then questioning a command," he exhaled slowly, staring you down until a subtle whine escaped your chest. "…I wonder if you even deserve a treat, puppy. It's so much better if I retrained you.." his voice lowered, a biting edge to his words as he yanked you toward him, and you yelped as your body settled between his legs. Seungmin drew close to you, face inches from your own as he taunted your lack of control. "Wouldn't it?" He presses an answer out to you, a hushed "Yes sir" dripping off your tongue as he nods in agreement. "Is that all you wanted, baby? To be trained again, touching what's mine causes you to miss your master's cock that bad.."
He resisted the urge to groan as you nodded eagerly, pining for a kiss as he talked down to you. Seungmin brushed his lips over yours, daring you to kiss him but dodging your weak attempts with an unwavering smug expression.
You hated how frustrated he could make you with the simplest teases. The heat flooding your body worsening and pooling in your core each time he stole a chaste kiss you were begging to deepen. Seungmin held out for a while, but soon, those tiny pecks weren't good enough for him, and the allowance of open-mouthed kisses began. You moaned into his mouth as his tongue flicked against yours, gaining immediate ownership of the warm cavern within seconds.
Seungmin placed his free hand on your neck, sliding two fingers under the semi-thick leather collar to tug it gently, his other still holding the chain leash in a tight fist. You understood the wordless command and moved to straddle his lap. He smiled against your lips, hearing the tag on the collar jingle quietly as you moved closer to him. Even in the dim light, no one could miss the engraving of his signature on the heart-shaped metal.
The need for oxygen broke you both apart, your soft pants mirroring the low grunts of pleasure he let out as his hips bucked. The friction of clothed hard-on against your soaked panties had your eyes rolling slightly. The need to think clearly gradually slipped from your consciousness as Seungmin guided your hips to grind on him. With every pass of his covered length, your walls clenched tighter, the damp spot on your panties transferring to stain his pants.
"Fuck.." you hiss excitedly as he pulls the chain around your neck roughly, suffocating you for a split second as he leans closer to kiss across the valley of your breasts. Seungmin leaves exceptionally dark bruises on your skin, biting down hard on the most sensitive spots just to hear you choke on a pained cry before he tenderly kisses the marks he's left. He doesn't go further, wanting to admire the intricate lace of your bralette as long as possible, but he still kisses your hardening nipples over the thin fabric.
You shudder and whine at the feeling, hands shifting in the restraints of his belt that you'd yet to free yourself from, and Seungmin relents his focus on your breasts to mumble in your ear.
"Lay down and spread your legs wide for me," he instructs, and you whine defeatedly, sad that you have to stop getting yourself on just his erection but far past the capability to defy him. "Nm… yessir," your words slur together as your hips halt all movement, and then you shift your weight just right to lay face up on the couch. Seungmin doesn't come to you instantly, enjoying the sigh of you relaxing your body and spreading your legs just as he asked you to.
The cool air hitting your inner thighs and ruined panties was enough to urge a shiver out of your frazzled body. Seungmin smiled, amused with your sensibility, "I should make you cum in these, pup." He slides a hand down the center of your body, his touch eliciting a wave of heat that grows as he snaps the hem of your lace underwear against your skin. Seungmin uses the same hand to cup your mound, pressing the wet fabric to your leaking folds and puffy clit in leisure circles of his palm.
"Mmm, no, please…. I don't wanna ruin them more, sir.." you babble between fluctuating moans, eyes sliding closed as your hips rocked against his hand, and he clicked his tongue at your unnecessary response. "I wasn't asking," his tone is far from gentle, and before you know it, he's claimed his rightful position above you, slapping your cunt as punishment for speaking back to him.
You yelp, instinctively drawing your lower half away from him, but Seungmin reels you back into submission with a particularly aggressive slap on your inner thigh. "Trying to run from me?" he quips, and you shake your head as the sting of his hit seeps into your skin. “N-no, fuck…m’ sorry s-sir…”
A shaky sob racks your chest as he hits you again, harder than before, and it draws immediate tears from your eyes. “N’ sorry….please m’sorry…” you chant the apology over and over, finding it impossible to say anything else as he inflicts fleeting spasms of agony on your body.
There would be no chance of you wearing any revealing clothes. "I don't think you are, angel." Seungmin cooed down at you, giving one last harsh slap to your thigh before pushing your panties to the side and pressing the head of his cock to your folds. Your eyes shot open at the familiar stretch of dick as he forced inside you without warning.
"Oh god!…" you cry out as he sinks into your walls, his grip on your leash faltering as a satisfied groan leaves his lips. He pulls back until only the tip of his cock is nestled in your contracting walls, then swiftly thrusts further into you. Your toes curl as every pulse and ridge of his length brushes against your spot. It feels better than what your fingers attempted to replicate hours ago, and you let him know that with a dazed smile.
Seungmin lets out a soft laugh seeing your cheerful and fucked out expression. "Feels that good, sweetheart?" You nod weakly, closer to cumming as he picks up the pace of his thrusts. He presses your legs up to your chest, folding you in half so his cock touches your cervix. "Ugh..mmph….master harder, please," you beg him, nails digging into your palm as the pressure in your core mounts to new heights.
"Harder?" Seungmin taunts you, moaning loudly as he involuntarily ruts harder into your drooling cunt. You groan quietly, the coil in your tummy threatening to snap at any given moment, "…may I cum, m' so close, sir.."
He hums quietly, pulling out to slide his shaft through your folds and against your puffy clit. “Fuck…no no no…” you whimper in protest, and he silences your cries with a heated kiss. Your climax was ripped to pieces as he edged you, deliberately making you writhe underneath him to benefit his own high.
"Wanna cum.." you pout and huff begrudgingly, and Seungmin shakes his head in disagreement, "Mm, no, I don't think you deserve to." His denial earns a frustrated sob from you, pleasure buzzing beneath your skin as his cock twitched against your slick pussy. He clenches his jaw tight as he cums on your stomach.
The warm liquid spreads over your skin in gradual spurts.
Seungmin's head lowers to the crook of your neck, teeth nipping at your sweet spot as he rode his high out and indirectly sending you over the edge with him.
Seungmin lets your legs fall to wrap around his waist, squeezing your waist as your release flows onto the cushion below. "Messy little pup," he groans, cock twitching to life again as he listens to your dumbfounded moans. "Ready for round two then?" The drawl in his voice brings a blush to your face as you nod eagerly. "Always, sir.."
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Trying a new layout/theme for my posts. I think I like it but idk 🖤
[ BONUS CONTENT + ]
If you look closely it’s like he’s actually petting you hehe 🖤 anyways credit to the creator…
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sammyluvr · 2 months ago
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love you again — sam winchester
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cw :gn!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, implied exes to lovers, canon typical injury and blood, hospitals, pet names (honey, sweetheart), 2K words. requested !
summary : you and sam have a past that’s rekindled during the panicked moments where he finds you bleeding out on a hunt.
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sam was thinking about you yesterday, again. he’s been wondering how you are, wondering if you’d hate a text from him, wondering if you’d pick up a call. he’s been wondering a whole lot, and it’s mostly about you. some about himself. he wonders how to apologize for growing distant, he wonders if he’d be better for you if you gave him the chance. he wonders if you blame him and hopes that you don’t because he doesn’t blame you. it was his fault for letting things start to fade out first, but for a while it stung that you never tried to bring him back to you.
back then, it was what he needed. someone that would hold his hand tighter were he to loosen his own grip. and he supposes you needed someone who was already sure of things, who wouldn’t pull away in the first place. so, he doesn’t blame you.
sam also wonders about silly little things. like how you might’ve reacted to your favorite west coast family diner shutting down. he was disappointed when he found out, but he was downright sad for you. he wonders about what kind of hunts you’re going on and he wonders if you still carry that little old silver blade that desperately needs replacing.
and since he was thinking about you yesterday, that means he thought about you this morning, in the hazy moments between waking and getting up and going. since then it’s been all research and interviews and cracking the case the second day in town. before you cross his mind again, he and dean are in the impala on the way to take out a nest of vampires.
but of all the many times that sam has thought of you since you parted, not once did he envision finding you like this.
sprawled out on the dirty ground in a pool of blood.
certainly, he’s thought about you dying and how completely horrifying that would be. how sad and heartbreaking. all of the things he’d never get to say to you. but he always thought he’d hear through a mutual hunter friend, never that he’d be the one to find you bleeding out.
the moment he realizes the body on the floor is yours, all of the blood drains from his face. he gasps out your name and tuckes his machete away as he drops to your side. your eyes are still open, and your breath comes out with a horrid, shuddering sound.
“hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he assures you, immediately locating the wound on your neck and pressing a steady hand against it to slow the blood. your eyes are already fluttering, and you look like you’ll pass out any moment now. “stay with me, honey,” he says, voice both stern and soft. the sweet pet name slips out on instinct. you’re his honey, even now. maybe especially now.
“suh-sam?” you rasp out, fighting for breath. you can’t even figure out if he’s real. maybe you’re delirious as you bleed out pathetically. you killed all the vamps except the one that got to you. that one fled when car headlights filtered through the drawn blinds of the room, before it could fully sink its fangs into your neck. if it had gotten to your artery, you’d probably be dead already, and that’s the only thing that gives you hope. plus, you realize that the headlights of the car must have been sam, and most likely dean too. that means it must really be him, after all this time.
“it’s me,” sam assures you. “i got you. just keep your eyes open, okay?”
you let out a shuddering breath in response. “th-there’s j-just one more,” you grunt out, “h-he r-ran.”
“shh, shh, it’s okay. dean’s got it,” sam hushes you swiftly, confused for a moment before realizing that you’re talking about the vamps. “don’t worry about talking, alright, honey?” he won’t be able to stop calling you that, not when he could lose you, in a far worse way this time. “just keep those eyes open for me, and you’ll be alright.”
while you almost want to protest, to say something to him, anything, you stop trying to talk. it’s taking far too much effort. you really wish you could comfort him, tell him that you’ll be alright. but in this state, you have to opt for bringing your shaking hand up and wrapping it loosely around his wrist. you give it a small squeeze to show him that you’re there, you’re trying so hard to stay awake just for him.
his heart aches as he feels your weak hold around his wrist and understands its meaning. sometimes he forgets how well he knows you, and right now, it sends a pang of desperation through him.
“i really need you to stay with me,” he says, mantaining that soft and steady tone to keep you grounded. you want to stay with him too, you really do. you want to keep looking at his face, even though it’s blurry and frowning. though, while you do prefer his smile, you’ve always thought that he looks beautiful no matter what. it’s probably cruel of you to find his distressed expression attractive right now, but it’s also true that you’re a little delirious and maybe bleeding out, so you don’t suppose you can be blamed.
it really bothers you that you can’t talk. more than anything, you want to reassure him. you also want to tell him that he’s been sorely missed, that his hair looks very nice like this, and that you really don’t want to die because that means you won’t have the chance to kiss him ever again. maybe you should just say that you’d like the chance to kiss him again. or that you don’t want to die. you’re not really sure.
“dean!” sam yells suddenly, voice gruff and loud and tinged with panic. if you weren’t slipping away, you’d have flinched. things begin to blur then; sam picks you up and practically cradles you in his arms. he’s so soft and he’d be shaky if he could afford to be. but he absolutely can’t, so he’s unwavering instead.
“jesus,” mutters another worried voice, distant, but assumed to be dean’s. you try to focus on the feeling of your head on sam’s shoulder. he’s so solid and broad and that might be the only thing keeping you from just floating away.
everything fades in and out. sam’s big, encompassing hand pressed against your neck. so big that it overflows and his thumb pushes into the flesh of your cheek. your head’s still on his shoulder, but you’re in the car now, slumped against familiar leather seats. the sound of the rumbling engine fills your ears and then you’re glad to hear sam again.
“we’re almost to the hospital, sweetheart,” he tells you gently. you grunt out in acknowledgment, soft and quiet. you can’t remember ever hearing his voice like this before. all panicked and sweet and tender. when dean gets hurt, his voice gets all gruff. with you, it’s this never ending gentleness, edged with sharp fear.
in your position, sam or dean probably would’ve made it to the hospital without passing out. but you’re not good with blood loss, even when it could’ve been far worse. you’re scared of dying, as always, but when your eyes flutter closed and your consciousness tilts into darkness, you feel so secure in sam’s arms that you figure you’ll be okay. it’s a strange feeling, and you likely won’t recall it when you wake up.
sam himself is far less calm than you when your head lolls forward.
“hey, hey, hey. honey, please don’t,” he urges, helpless at this point. his plea falls on deaf ears, of course. dean steps on the gas, driving far faster than is safe. it’s late though, and the roads are mostly clear.
sam keeps you close. sam has trouble parting from you at the hospital, but the doctor needs to treat you. everything’s a bit better when he’s told that you’ll be just fine after proper bandaging, rest, and a blood transfusion and iv. everything’s a lot better when he’s back by your side and holding your hand in his.
looking at your face now, cleaned of blood splatter and relaxed in sleep, he’s able to really take in the ways you’ve changed physically. you do look different, but not by too much. he’s mostly just enthralled with how beautiful you are.
there’s also the feeling of the jacket you were wearing, folded nicely across his lap. he’s not really sure why he put it there, instead of leaving it on the bottom of the bed where it was first laid out. but he picked it up, for some reason or another, and felt a lump in the pocket. he knows he probably shouldn’t have looked at your things, but he felt like he had to. sliding his hand into the worn fabric sends a rush through him. once, you held hands in your pocket when it was cold outside. he always runs warm, so you had decided to tuck his hand into your pocket like your own personal hand warmer.
in the pocket, he finds that old silver blade that he thinks about sometimes. it’s even more worn now, and he shakes his head at you softly, affectionately. he bought a new silver knife recently, and if you let him, he’s going to give it to you. then he sits in the chair by your side, placing the jacket in his lap before he takes your hand in his.
the first thing that you feel is a big hand wrapped around yours. and as you draw in a long breath, you know that it’s sam’s. that means that when you get your eyes to open—it’s a little hard right now—you’ll get to see him. another deep breath, and your eyes flutter open.
sam’s grip on your hand tightens a little.
“hey,” he murmurs, eyes scanning your form, looking for discomfort or a way to give you his love. your own gaze settles on his face; his worried brows and small frown and pretty eyes.
“hi,” you whisper, voice hoarse and tired. you squeeze his hand back lightly.
“how you feeling?” he asks softly.
“i’m okay,” you offer, giving him a small smile. you’ve been far worse in the past, you’re just groggy and a little sore. honestly, it’s rare to be this well cared for after getting injured on a hunt, and with sam by your side, it’s sort of nice, even.
sam, of course, considers asking how you really are. but with the way you’re looking at him, all soft and… well, how you used to when things were uncomplicated, he accepts your answer. 
“good. you need anything? water?” he still needs to take care of you somehow.
you can’t help but smile at him again. “water would be nice,” you admit, knowing that it’ll make him feel better to be able to do something for you. that, and your throat really does burn with how dry it is. the gruffness of your voice reflects that. it’s oddly intimate when sam opens the water bottle at your bedside and brings it to your lips, ever careful when he tilts it and lets a bit of water flow into your softly opened lips. it’s intimate enough to make your face all warm with rushing blood.
you still love him. you really do. or maybe you love him again; you can feel that he’s different, and you know that you are, and somehow it feels like his hand fits in yours better tonight… or maybe it just feels more right now.
the time apart was needed, the way it happened still stings a little, and the way that you found each other again was less than ideal. well, sam certainly hates how it happened much more than you do. he had to do all the worrying, all the saving. you got to feel him holding you and hear him calling you honey and see him caring about you so much. so now, you’re just glad for the chance to kiss him again, because it’s that easy to tell that you have it.
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daintyys · 1 year ago
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somethin' stupid
fem!reader x ex!james potter, 2k words, swearing, angst, smut
second chance romance and make up sex!!! no hate towards lily in this AT ALL! i adore her i j really felt like writing james x reader🩷🩷
3 months ago, James Potter had broken up with you. You appreciated him coming clean, you really did, but it still broke you when the words "I think I'm starting to like Lily Evans" left his mouth. He hadn't cheated, or even flirted, so there was no reason for you to hate him, yet you were furious.
You tried to avoid him in the halls at all costs, even if it meant shoving someone out of your way in order to hide yourself from him. He sometimes said hi to you, and you caught him staring at you in class, but you ignored him. You knew you shouldn't hold anything against him, but still you did. You hated him. James Potter was public enemy number 1.
"Y/N! Quit studying and start getting ready, yeah?" Marlene McKinnon shouted at you. She was getting ready with Mary McDonald, and the two of them stood staring at you with crossed arms. Lily was sitting on her bed silently, not feeling particularly welcome. You hadn't spoken to her since you and James broke up, and you felt awful for ditching her. You would make that up to her tonight.
"Alright, alright, Marls. Give me a second." You shut your potions textbook, using your wand as a bookmark for the page you were reading. You stood, giving Lily a weak smile. You were so incredibly guilty.
Once you were ready, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You thought you looked pretty damn good. You had on a plaid skirt, black cardigan, and a shiny new pair of boots. You applied a layer of red lipstick, and braided your hair as you and your friends left the dormitory.
You walked beside Lily, ready to start your little apology spiel. Things hadn't even ended up working out between her and James, so you should have spoken to her 2 months ago when they decided they weren't right for each other. "Hey, Lily." You mumbled, turning to her. Her head perked up instantly. "Hi Y/N." She replied, a hurt expression on her face. "I've missed you. So much." You whispered, not wanting to get Marlene and Mary involved.
Lily took a moment to respond. When she finally did, she had tears in her eyes. "I missed you too, oh my God. I am so sorry about you and James." She hugged you tightly, and you held her close. "It wasn't your fault, Lily. It's my fault I didn't even try to get an explanation from you." She giggled into your shoulder. "Yeah, that was pretty fucking stupid."
You and Lily were fine now, and that made your night incredible. You stayed by her side all night, laughing and catching up. You and the girls were just leaving Madam Puddifoot's when you heard a loud sound behind you. Turning around, there you saw them: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and, of course, James Potter.
You then noticed a trail of light coming straight for you. "Y/N! Watch out!" James screamed. He was too late.
Bang!
Next thing you knew, you were on the ground, feeling particularly nauseous and cold. You looked around frantically as you saw your friends and the boys run over to you. You almost screamed as James Potter bent down and effortlessly picked you up.
"You won't be able to walk for a little bit, that was a leg-freezing charm." He stammered, a guilty expression on his face. "You're a real goddamn genius, Potter. Were you trying to kill us?" Marlene shouted, just about to knock all 4 of the boys out. "I didn't know it was you guys!" James boomed, holding you slightly closer to him.
You could feel his heart racing as he carried you back up to the castle. He was extremely flustered, his cheeks bright red and breathing heavily. Marlene was still going back and forth with the boys, to your dismay. You weren't surprised by their stupidity, as you had put up with it for almost 5 months when you dated James.
Once inside the castle, you were shivering profusely. "Y/N, I am so bloody sorry." James whispered in your ear, gently rubbing your arm to keep you warm. "I-It's okay, not surprised a-at all." You chattered, avoiding eye contact. He scoffed, grinning down at you. "If you don't mind, I can help you out while this wears off." He almost mouthed to you. You nodded hesitantly, not wanting to admit to yourself you still had feelings for him.
You reassured your friends that you would be just fine before you were carried off to the boy's dorm. Lily gave you a knowing smile as you disappeared up the stairs, and you tried not to laugh.
James laid you gently on his bed. You had missed it there. "Still smells like shit in here." You cringed, pulling his comforter around yourself. "Yea, guess it does." You could tell he was nervous. "What's the real reason you wanted to help me out?" You asked, an annoyed tone in your voice. James sat on the edge of the bed and looked at you briefly before turning away. "I guess I missed you." He muttered, staring down at the floor.
Your heart skipped a beat, and then your throat began to burn. Don't cry, oh fuck, don't cry. And then the tears started to stream down your face. "Oh god, oh no- Y/N, please don't cry." He scooted closer to you, putting an arm around your shoulders, which just made you cry harder. "Shhh, I'm so sorry." James comforted.
"I fucking hate you, James!" You wailed, attempting to shove him away from you. He knew better than anyone that what you needed when you were upset was comfort, so he continued holding you. "I know you do, sweetheart, and I deserve that. I hurt you." You sobbed hard, and then finally gave in. He was trying to make it up to you.
You burrowed your face in his chest, taking in his scent. You missed this. You missed his scent, and you missed how safe you felt with him. "I should have gotten you back earlier, Y/N." James cooed, stroking your hair. "Yeah, you should have." You mumbled into his chest. "It broke my heart not being able to talk to you for so long." James confessed. You calmed down, and looked up at him sadly. "I hate seeing you cry, honey. I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He promised.
"These last 3 months have been hell, James." You admitted, still letting him hold you. "Oh I know, they've been awful for me too. I should have never let you go." He said, wiping a tear from your cheek. "I was confused about my feelings for Lily and didn't know what else to do other than let you down easy." You nodded, you truly did undersand, it was just hard to accept you hadn't been the only girl on his mind. "I know, James. I also shouldn't have ignored you."
"The charm isn't going to wear off for a while, so I would maybe suggest a hot shower..." James sighed, running his hands up and down your freezing legs. "Don't try and get in my pants, James." You scowled at him. His mouth formed a wide grin. "You know that's not what I meant!" You couldn't help but giggle at him. "Yeah, I know, you just want to help me." You said as you slowly pulled off your cardigan.
You heard James' breath hitch, and he looked away from you quickly. "I'll help you to the bathroom, but I don't want to invade your privacy." He whispered, face turning beet-red. "It's nothing you haven't already seen, Jamie." You cooed.
He slowly turned back to you as you were unhooking your bra. You knew how nervous James got when you were alone together, so it felt good to get to tempt him again. His tongue flicked out of his mouth and licked his lips, now staring at you shamelessly.
You both missed this feeling, hardly being able to keep your hands off of each other. "C-Can I?" James faltered, eyeing your tits. You nodded, and without another word his mouth was sloppily kissing one of your breasts. You opened your mouth slightly and shut your eyes. This was it. This had to be the best feeling ever.
He nipped at your boob and sucked your nipple, and you felt him smile as you let out a moan. "Shit- this is really great, James, but my legs..." You trailed off. His mouth disconnected from your breath and he looked up at you with a dazed expression. "Shower then?" He suggested. You nodded, and were instantly picked up.
His hands cupped your ass and he kissed your neck desperately. James needed to be as close to you as possible. You were breathing hard, anticipating what was to come.
Once in the bathroom, you were placed temporarily on the ground while James turned on the shower. You finished undressing yourself, and waited for James to do the same. He looked down at you, a smile forming on his lips. "You're so gorgeous, Y/N." He spluttered, eyeing the bulge in his trousers.
You were one step ahead of him, and sat up straighter to unbutton his pants. He gasped quietly as you pulled his pants down, revealing his hard. "Can I, Jamie?" You said, looking up at him enticingly. He could have finished right then and there. "Yes, fuck, yes please." James whimpered.
You pulled his boxers down and immediately began to fist his cock. He held onto the counter, knuckles turning white. "Dammit, Y/N." He hissed through his teeth. "That good, hm?" You mocked, running your thumb over his tip. James breathed in sharply, and quickly took off his shirt. "Need you." He mumbled as he picked you up again, bringing you into the shower with him.
Your body relaxed as the hot water hit you. Your legs were beginning to have feeling in them, but that wouldn't matter in a few minutes. James kissed you hard, cupping your ass once more. He slipped his tongue into your mouth desperately, and you moaned in approval.
"Merlin, you're so great." He panted as he took himself into his hand. "Why do that when I'm right here, Jamie?" You asked innocently. His cock shuddered as you spoke. "You're right, love." He lined himself up at your entrance, pressing your body against the wall of the shower. "You ready?" James asked, leaning his forehead against yours. "Yes, I am." And with that he was gently pushing into you, coaxing moans from your throat.
"So good, oh shit." He whined, tickling your neck with his hot breath. He began to buck against your hips, slowly and gently. You unravled as he thrusted inside you, and clawed at his back. "Oh God, baby." You squeaked, moans falling out of your mouth.
James fucked you harder, sucking on your neck with skill comparable to a vampire. "Doing so good, love." James breathed as he noticed your legs begin to shake. "Got feeling back in your legs, hm?" He laughed. You found it so attractive how he could still joke like that while fucking you.
James started to get sloppy, his thrusts becoming offbeat and lazy. Your legs began to clench around his hips, and the walls of your pussy tightened around his cock. "Shit- gonna cum-" James pulled out of you, cumming on your stomach. You released as well, letting out a shrill moan.
You leaned your forehead against James' again, and smiled. He looked into your eyes, pupils wide and longing. "You're amazing, Y/N." He whispered, peppering your face with kisses. You giggled, and held his face in your hands. "I really missed you." You proclaimed, rubbing his cheeks with your thumbs. James nodded and set you on your feet lightly. "I'm sure I missed you more."
He cleaned his mess off of you, kissing your stomach as he did so. "Pretty girl," He cooed as he began to wash your hair. "Can we try again? At us?" You spun to face him quickly, a grin across your face. "You think I would let you shag me if I didn't still want to be in a relationship with you?" You said laughing. James went red, embarrassed. "Well, I dunno, you can be confusing." He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you closer to him, hugging you to his body, not wanting to ever let go.
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cameronsprincess · 6 months ago
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BROKEN — J.M
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— summary: JJ comforts you after Rafe hurts you yet again.
— CW: angsty af, reader has a panic attack, soft!jj, hurt to comfort (by jj rafe is no comfort in this), strong language.
— note: i have loved this song since i saw a Cassie Howard edit to it, and yeah.
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You couldn’t remember exactly what had set Rafe off today, you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong, but then again, you never really ever did anything wrong.
Your boyfriend had a short temper, the smallest things could send him into a fit of rage and anger, and you almost always got it taken out on you.
Like every other time Rafe is set off, sending you into a panic attack, you rush out of Tannyhill, hoping in your car and rushing to the chateau. There was only one person who knew how to calm you down, and even though he was going to be furious that Rafe had put you in this position yet again, you knew he’d be there for you.
Within minutes, you’re quickly pulling into the gravel driveway of the chateau. You barely get your car in park before you’re pushing your door open, your knees hitting the unforgiving gravel. A loud scream pierces the air, your hand planted firmly on your chest as you try and calm your erratic breathing.
You knew you shouldn’t have drove here, you were teary eyed and struggling to breathe the entire way, but you had to get to JJ, and calling him wasn’t an option. He would have came to get you, but wouldn’t have left until he got some words in with Rafe first, and you couldn’t let that happen.
“J-J-JJ!” You shout, your hand still planted firmly on your chest.
The sound of the screen door creaking fills your ears, and your tear filled eyes look toward the front porch, barely making out the head of blond messy hair and tanned skin rushing toward you.
“What the fuck? Princess, are you okay?”
JJ’s voice is frantic and laced with worry as he scoops you up into his arms. He slowly carries you inside the chateau, walking straight past your group of friends — whose eyes are all on you — and straight into ‘his’ bedroom. He gently sits you on the bed, kicking the door shut behind him and kneeling in front of you.
You see the scowl on his face, and you already know what he’s thinking.
“I-I- Rafe…” you try and stutter the words out, but your erratic breathing, and tight chest make the words die on your tongue.
“I figured, he’s always makin’ you cry like this, princess. I can’t fuckin’ stand it. Please, please fuckin’ leave him!”
More tears stream down your face, and you lay yourself back on JJ’s mattress, curling your body into a ball and letting the sobs out.
“I’m so sick of him makin’ you feel like this, Y/N/N. You’re broken, and you need to leave him so you can allow yourself to be happy again. Do you understand me?”
Your breathing doesn’t calm, you feel like you’re seconds away from passing out. You don’t know what happened today, something with Ward, and Rafe being called worthless, and somehow it was your fault. He claimed you weren’t there for him enough, claimed you didn’t give a fuck about him and you made him miserable. When you started crying, begging him to let you comfort him, he’d lashed out even more. He was in your face, telling you to ‘grow up and stop fuckin’ crying’. You could usually handle his outbursts pretty well, knowing that it would subside soon, but today was different. When Rafe had harshly gripped your upper arms, shaking you while shouting harsh words and insults at you, you couldn’t take it. You had believed every mean thing he was saying, and you knew you needed to get out of there before things got worse.
When JJ notices you can’t breathe, your panic attack only getting worse, he quickly kicks his shoes off and climbs into the bed with you. He lays behind you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and squeezing tightly, rubbing his thumb against your arm and shushing you softly.
“Shhhh.. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m right here, princess. He isn’t here. He can’t hurt you with his words right now..”
JJ’s tight hold on your body mixed with the soft, gentle calming words he was whispering to you had you finally calming down. You felt your heart rate slow, your breathing calming and the tears slowing. JJ always knew how to calm you down, and he was always there for you. No matter how many times this happened — which was sadly quite often — he was always there to hold you and calm you down.
Once you had fully calmed, JJ spoke. “I know I tell you this every time, and I know you’ll leave when you’re ready, but you can’t keep letting him make you feel this way. You can’t keep letting him have this control over you and your emotions, you hear me?”
You nod your head softly. “I- I know.. It’s just.. I love him, J. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I know he can change, he can be better, he just… He hasn’t had it easy..”
You don’t miss the scoff JJ tried to subtly let out.
“Y/N… You have shown up here, broken and crying to the point of a panic attack ten times in the last two weeks. TWO. Not a month, not two months. TWO WEEKS. He is fuckin’ with your head, baby. He has done this all before, and I know you’re trying to tell yourself he’ll change, but people like Rafe Cameron don’t change. It’s the sad truth, but he won’t ever change. Not for you. Not for anyone.”
Deep down, you know JJ is right. Rafe has issues that he needs to seek professional help for, but he won’t, because getting help equals weakness, and weakness equals Ward coming down on him ten times harder than he already does. But you do love him, and you can’t fathom the thought of losing him. Living life without Rafe would be empty, lonely, heart shattering.
But instead of voicing all of that, you said, “I know you’re right, J. It’s just hard.. I love him, and I want to see him change, but I know you’re right.”
JJ sighs deeply, resting his forehead on your back and running his thumb up the length of your arm. “I know, sweet girl. I just hope you realize how special you are, and how you deserve the world, before it’s too late.”
Your heavy eyes blink slowly, your mind taking in everything JJ was saying. You let his words sink in, the last thing on your mind before your eyes finally closing as sleep claimed you.
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JJ TAGLIST: @drewstarkeyslut @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @rafesthroatbaby @starkeysprincess @rafescurtainbangz @atorturedpoetx @redhead1180 @maybankskiss @lovelysturnioloos @maybankslover @simars3 @antagonize-me-motherfucker
jj maybank masterlist | taglist form
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cazzyf1 · 5 months ago
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An Article about Lella Lombardi - Nobody makes jokes about women drivers around Lella Lombardi
The sleek Lola T-332 racing car crossed the starting line at the river side, Calif, Grand Prix, hurtled ahead of three cars, and swooped back inside with split-second timings.
"You mean that's really a girl?" Muttered three times indianapolis 500 winner A. J. Foyt, looking on in incredulously from the side liners.
For Lella Lombardi, the first woman in 17 years (and the second ever) to compete on high performance Formula One circut - the big leagues of professionals auto racing - the question is all but invetable. What in the world is a nice Italian girl like Lella doing in overalls and a crash helmet, risking her life at speeds close to 200 miles an hour?
"That's what mama keeps asking me," says the tomboyish 31-year-old Lella, "I guess she thinks I should be home with a good husband and a houseful of bambini."
It was obvious from the beginning, to Lella at least, that she was cut from different cloth compared to most girls. Born in the little Piedmontese village of Furgarolo, she was hooked on auto racing before she was out of diapers.
"The first I remember, I am perhaps 4 or 5 years old," she recalls, "I was making little cars from things I found in my mum's sewing box. When I was 8 I decided I shall be a racing driver. I didn't say anything but I made up my mind."
As a teenager Lella raced motorcycles with boys in her village. The boys were scandalized she beat them - their mothers that she was racing at all. Eventually the village priest came to call.
"He explained why I should be like a girl and what a girl must do," she remembers. "So I told him, 'yes father' but all the time I am thinking why am I not allowed to do as I want."
Nothing if not persistent, Lella saw her first race at 18. Five years later she brought a car of her own, secondhand, Formula Monza 500 that she tinkered with and drove in races herself. Last year, nearly after a decade of coming up through the ranks, she was approached by March Racing Ltd, of England which was looking for a driver for its two-man Grand Prix team.
"Formula 2, Formula 3, Formula 5000 - I raced in them all," says Lella, "I win a lot in Italy - six times women's champion. So when March comes to ask me to try out for them, I say to myself, 'Why not?'"
March's decision to hire her was hardly made lightly. A single Grand Prix car costs $100,000 and putting it through a season of racing costs several hundred thousand dollars more.
"Putting a woman into a Grand Prix cockpit means shattering a lot of tradition," acknowledges March team manager, Max Mosley. "Of course, my wild told me, the only reason I was hesitating was because of Lella's sex, no doubt about her skill, in the end, I guess my wife was right."
Now prepping for this Sunday's Monaco Grand Prix, Lella is given little chance of winning a race this season (although she finished a respectable sixth in last week's accident-shorter Spanish Grand Prix) since March is designing its cars. Some drivers perhaps disturbed by Lella's invasion of their male peserve, doubt the chunky, 5"2, Lombardi has the stamina for long-distance racing. But March chief Roy Wardell, was watching her during a gruelling test of the company's racers, disagrees.
"Thrasing a car about it bloody hard work," he says, "most male drivers would have been bitching and complaining but she drove more than 300 miles flat out without a whimper." Her main fault, says Wardell, is a rookie's understandable caution. "Lella is still a bit afraid that if she spins out everyone will say, 'see a woman driver'" he says, "but her confidence is building. Pretty soon she'll be mixing it up with the best of them."
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