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gilthairpins · 1 year

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Book 1 Chapter 15: A Layer of Autumn Rain, A Layer of Coolness

These past few days I have been asking myself why. Why can’t I live and die with him? This is the 48th year of Kangxi. If it cannot be avoided, he will die in the 4th year of Yongzheng’s rein. If I decided to be with him, we could be together for another 16 years.

Doesn’t true love normally go hand in hand with life and death? Liang Shanbo, Zhu Yangtai, Romeo and Juliet? Why did I shed tears, touched by their stories, but hesitated here? Do I love him, or not? Do I love him but not enough? Or do I just want to save him as much as I can because of the accumulated feeling and compassion towards him from over the years?

But I’ve never thought about sharing life and death. Or is it both? I can’t read my own heart and I cannot tell my own feelings.

Beijing in October is one layer of autumn rain and one layer of coolness.

I love the Forbidden City at this time. The palace is shrouded in misty rain, cool and blunt. It added a bit of tenderness and charm, even though I knew everything would remain the same after the drizzle. And now it was just an illusion, but this rare tenderness and charm still makes me often linger in it under an umbrella. The weather is like life. Good fortune and misfortune are unpredictable. Just now it is misty and drizzling when suddenly it rained heavily. The small bamboo umbrella was no longer enough to cover the sky and rain. The hem of my green skirt became soaked. I was busy holding the umbrella and hurried to a pavilion to avoid the rain.

There are other people sheltering from the rain in the pavilion. When I saw who it was I began to regret it. If I had known it was them, I would have rather be drenched in the rain than stand here. But now, I cannot allow myself to retreat.

I didn’t bother to close my umbrella. I placed it on the ground and bowed in greeting. “Eighth Fujin is auspicious. Tenth Fujin is auspicious.” Mingyu turned away, ignoring me. Minghui smiled slightly “Get up.” I stood feeling conflicted in my heart. I wanted to retreat quickly.

“If Fujin doesn’t need anything, this maid will retreat first.”

She didn’t speak, but just stared at me. Since she didn’t speak, I didn’t dare move. Just as she was seeing all of the hairs all over her body, the sound of ‘dongdong’ running came up the side of the corridor.

“Erniang!” Called a child’s voice. [mother/mommy]

I turned my head slightly and saw a young boy of four or five years old, ignoring the maid who chased after him. He threw himself into the arms of Minghui. The eyebrows and eyes are very similar to Eighth, this should be Hongwang. My heart tightened and I lowered my head. I didn’t want to look anymore.

Minghui put her arms around him and said with a smile, “You can’t run like this next time. If you fall, your father would feel sorry for you again. Last time you took advantage of the girls watching you and knocked into a lamp, all because you were feeling playful. You got a few drops of oil on the back of your hand. It wasn’t serious but your father punished all the servants in the house severely that they couldn’t get off the ground for three months.”

I squared down and listened to her words quietly. I hadn’t expected such a scene to be staged so soon. No matter how many times I imagined it in advance, I still felt wronged and embarrassed. I am quiet and alone, why would I mess with them? If this occurred every day how would I live my life?

Hongwang obviously wasn’t listening to his mother. He leaned over in Minghui’s arms and yelled after looking at me. “She looks like my aunt!” [2nd wives and so forth are referred to as aunt by main wife’s children]

“They are sisters. Of course they would resemble each other.” Mingyu said.

Hongwang broke free of Minghui when he heard that and rushed over to kick and scold me. “You are all bad people who make my mother very angry!”

He kicked my knee. I tried to cover myself but he looked so like Eighth. The level of pain increased. Minghui reprimanded him. “What are you doing Hongwang! You haven’t come back yet!”

Mingyu looked at me with a smile. Hongwang continued to ignore Minghui.

“If you bully Erniang, I will bully you!” He looked at me as though he would kick again.

You? This included my sister? What did they do to my sister? The anger in my heart suddenly jumped up.

Since forbearance can’t resolve conflict then why bother? I stood immediately and moved away a few steps from Hongwang.

“It seems Fujin has nothing important to do. This servant will be leaving now.”

Minghui obviously didn’t expect that I would dare stand up without her permission let alone standing up and looking at her while speaking. I was in a daze.

Mingyu laughed dryly. “Sister, I told you a long time ago that she is a savage with no rules. In front of you, her older sister would behave according to the rules, but she is a court lady. So lawless!”

I glanced at her and turned to leave. Minghui called, “Stop! Who said you could leave?”

I looked over at her and said with a three point smile on my face, “The so called state owned state law. The palace is the palace. No matter how humble my status is, I am a member of the Qianqing Palace. If Fujin wishes to punish me, she can tell Li Wenda directly. Li Wenda will follow the rules to deal with disrespectful slaves. Could it be that Fujin actually wants to have a private life here? Blame yourself for beating your slaves.”

Both Minghui and Mingyu were stunned, unable to advance or retreat. Minghui looked at me with hatred in her eyes. I raised my chin and stared back at her, not giving in an inch. The three of us were frozen. Suddenly Minghui and Mingyu stood their expressions changing. They made a greeting for those just behind me.

“Fourth prince is auspicious.”

Hongwang also gave a crisp greeting.

I turned quickly to see Fourth coming in from a side corridor, escorted by two eunuchs. One was holding an umbrella, but the side of his clothes were splashed. It seemed they also came here to escape the sudden and heavy rain. I quickly bowed in greeting.

“Get up.” He said lightly. He glanced over all of our faces.

“Do you have any order for me your highness? If not, I will retire.” I said respectfully.

He watched the pouring rain from outside the corridor a while before saying in a low voice, “Go.”

I watched the heavy rain, just about to leave. Suddenly I remembered my umbrella and hurried back to retrieve it. They all watched me return and I only bowed in greeting to Fourth.

“This servant forgot her umbrella.” I held up the umbrella thinking about the thoughtful expression on Fourth’s face. I was about to go down the steps when I stopped and looked sideways at Minghui.

“Why do you keep using those people who are sincere towards you to bully a person who recites scriptures all day long, and won’t fight back with you?”

She continued to glare with absolute hatred at me, but said with a smile, “Is it interesting to hide behind your back and pretend to be a virtuous man?” After speaking she turned around and walked into the wind and rain without any haste. Feeling all eyes on me, I straightened up and walked away gracefully as if I was walking in an April day.

Walking in the wind, even if you lose, you still have to look pretty. I meandered with my feet stepping on the rainwater soaked ground. The water streaming endlessly and I was the only one left, walking alone in the vast world. The crackling of the rain on the umbrella was endless and endlessly tapping on the ground, knocking on my heart. Soon most of my body was soaked.

How could one small umbrella cover God’s tears? After returning to my house, I soaked in hot water a long time to try to get rid of an oncoming cold. But my nose was still stuffy. Fortunately, I have always taken care of my body and have been in good health, so there was no other discomfort.

I leaned against my couch, wrapped in a quilt, and stared out the window in a daze. The rain had already stopped and the leaves from the osmanthus tree had become thinner. The raindrops dripped intermittently like tears for the others who have left them already.

Someone wandered into my courtyard while I wasn’t paying attention. He saw me in the window and approached. Quickly he shook his head in disapproval and quickly bowed in greeting. “Miss Ruoxi is auspicious!”

Only then did I focus my gaze on him. It was Xiao Shunzi, who had delivered the necklace on the first day of the year. “Get up.” I looked away

Seeing me laying motionless on my couch, he ducked his head. “I brought you something.”

“Take it back. I don’t lack for anything.” I said softly, staring at the sweet scented osmanthus tree.

He looked at me embarrassed, seeing that I was ignoring him. He took out a snuff bottle and placed it on the table by the window and bowed his head. “The young lady speaks with a bit of a sniffle, take some snuff. Sneeze a few times and you will feel refreshed.” He strode off in big strides before I could speak.

It was growing dark and I shivered shrinking into my quilt. My body didn’t want to move. Yutan returned and saw my window was open and rushed in. “My sister was caught in the rain this morning! Why are the windows wide open?” She closed them.

“Too lazy to get up and close them.” I said.

She lit the lamp and casually picked up the snuff bottle and walked around the couch. “It’s such an exquisite thing. The puppies are so vivid. It’s really cute. I heard your voice but you do sound stuffy. You have snuff, so smell it already.”

I shook my head as she pulled the top off. Pulling a pin from her hair, she dipped it into the bottle and extracted some snuff and rubbed it on my fingertips. I sniffed my fingers. The peppery and sour smell rushed to my head and I couldn’t help but sneeze several times in quick succession.

All of a sudden I felt quite refreshed. “This works pretty well!” I said with a smile.

Taking a closer look at the snuff pot, I saw two layers of glaze. The inside was painted with three puppies, fighting each other. Their expressions were lifelike and funny. Interesting.

As I looked at the bottle, I suddenly recalled what had happened this morning with Minghui and Mingyu. I looked closer, the painting taking on a new meaning. The two yellow furred dogs were bullying the white furred dog together. The white dog appeared relaxed and at ease where the yellow dogs looked anxious and annoyed.

I couldn’t help but laugh. That man actually dared compare us with dogs! I don’t know if they had made fun of us, “dog bites dog hair”. I really didn’t know where he had found such a suitable thing. Usually he looked cold and unsmiling! Who knew he was so humorous? Thinking about this had been more interesting and unknowingly, this swept away the unhappiness that had been pent up in my heart all afternoon.

Because of my duty in front of the emperor, a causal cough may bring disaster. Though it is not major, to be cautious, I still asked Li Dequan for leave and had Yutan take over my shift. After pondering it for a long time in my heart, I approached Fang He.

“I have been resting these past few days and there are some things I have to ask Eighth face to face.”

I lay on a bamboo chair, the courtyard door slightly open. A book was on my face. I was basking in the sunshine, eyes closed. There were a few knocks on the door and I removed the book.

“Please enter.”

Eighth entered, pushing the door open, causing it to creak. Closing the door he looked over at me. He glanced over at the warmer and tea set beside me. “It’s good to enjoy.”

“There are so many things to enjoy, if you’re really envious.” I stood up.

He stared at the curling green smoke and was silent for a long while. “Is there any big body? [unclear] How come you don’t know to cherish yourself? Going out for a walk while it’s raining!”

I shook my head. “I invited you here today because I wanted to ask something. According to Hongwang, he seems to seek out my sister and cause trouble for her. Is this true?”

“When did Hongwang say this?” He frowned thinking it over.

“It doesn’t matter when he said it. What matters is what he said.”

“It’s a child’s joke, you’re taking this seriously?” He looked helplessly at me and shook his head.

I stared at him. “Children’s words are the most true.”

“Hongwang occasionally will go to make trouble for Ruolan, but she laughs and assures me that children love to play around and don’t care. You’re asking some serious questions. Why?”

“Hongwang is your child and it is your business to spoil him. But if someone bullies others through a child and you turn a blind eye to this, it’s really too much.” I said lightly.

“How do you know what I do not tell you? How about you? How many things do you know about my household that you could convict me?” He questioned.

With anger in my heart I sneered and said, “I don’t care about about the affairs of your house at all. I just hope you are thinking about my sister who is considered to have missed her life because of you. And protect her well. As for wether or not Hongwang is just child’s nonsense, you’d better figure that out for yourself.”

He flicked his sleeves in annoyance and turned to walk away. He turned back when he got to the door. “What is wrong with us? Wasn’t our relationship good out on the prairie? Why can’t you be like that now? It’s rare that we see each other, why must you quarrel with me?”

I stood silently with my head down, feeling sadness in my heart. There was only you and me on the grasslands no throne, without your wife, without your son. Now there are so many people between us. How could it be the same?

He sighed softly and stretched hand to pull me into his arms. “I’ll ask Hongwang. You just stop being so angry because of child’s words.”

I leaned on his shoulder and didn’t answer.

“If you are so worried about Ruolan, wouldn’t it be better to marry me as soon as possible? Then you could see her every day. With you by her side, who would dare bully the elder sister of ‘Thirteenth younger sister’? Aren’t you afraid of being slapped?” He had asked after a while.

I sighed silently in my heart. Sisters serving the same husband together is a romantic story in their eyes, but it is a thorn in my heart.

He waited quietly and seeing no reaction he asked, “Have you not thought about it yet? I’m so confused by you now. I have no idea what you are thinking at all. I don’t believe you are a coward like people who are waiting for death. Why are you hesitating?”

He raised my head and stared into my eyes and asked slowly, “Are you that unconfident in me? Or do you have other reasons?”

“It’s been a long while since you have been here. It’s time to go back. Give me a little more time will you? Let me think again.” I forced a smile and asked.

He looked at me silently for a while and then sighed. “Ruoxi, I am not Xiang Yu. I will never let you become Concubine Yu.” He turned and left after speaking.

Kangxi had been in great spirits these past few days. On an especially warm and sunny day, he had ordered a table set up in the imperial garden and had fruit and tea served. All of the imperial siblings were out giving the appearance of being happy.

When Kangxi got up and left to change with Li Dequan, the atmosphere shifted. The laughter turned cold, although there was chatter going on to cover up the momentary coldness.

I stood just outside of it all, starting at the golden leaves on the ground. I was wondering when the next chance would come up to be alone with Thirteenth. Minmin had asked that I help her test Thirteenth’s heart, but I had yet to encounter a suitable moment to speak to him. Also, there were some of my own worries that had delayed this as well. I was thinking about this secretly when I suddenly heard several of the brothers laughing. I looked up and saw a curly haired, snow white puppy tugging on Fourth’s robe. It was wagging its tail and flopping around having fun. Fourth looked down at it, not paying any attention. All of the brothers were amused by its appearance.

I pursed my lips and looked at the puppy, laughing. A young girl of thirteen or fourteen ran over in a hurry and suddenly turned pale seeing all the brothers there and the puppy tugging on Fourth’s robes. She fell to her knees and kowtowed.

This should be the palace maid dedicated to taking care of this puppy for her master. She had accidentally let the dog run away by itself and it showed up here.

I took a few steps forward and asked her in a low voice, “Why are you so careless?”

With tears in her eyes, she still held her kowtow.

My heart softened. This child had just entered this cage alone and I wanted to pretend to show this to everyone. Now I had no choice but to do so. I turned to bow to Fourth with an apologetic smile.

“Maid, go and bring the dog away now.” I wanted to step forward and hug the dog.

Fourth lifted his head and looked at me. His face was indifferent, but there was a trace of happiness in his eyes.

I knew why he had a smile in his eyes and a smile in his heart. He had compared me to this little thing so he couldn’t help but glance at the dog and smile.

He smiled again and took another look at me and then back to the dog who wagged its tail. He bent down to pick the dog up and handed it to me.

We both looked at the dog as I took it and pursed our lips into another smile. With the smile still on my face, I turned to hand the puppy back to the maid, who was still kneeling on the ground with her head bowed. She accepted the puppy with a grateful face. I didn’t have the heart to talk about her, but this palace isn’t always so lucky.

Fourth has always liked dogs so he didn’t mind. But if the puppy had bumped into a master that didn’t like dogs next time- it’s not the dog who would be unlucky, but the maid. So I looked at her seriously.

“Today is your luck. If you don’t have a long memory, the next time you will probably lose to a dozen boards. Don’t say you can’t help being beaten even if you can’t bear it.” I whispered to her.

She bit her lip and kowtowed, hugging the dog to herself. “Your servant will remember, there won’t be a next time.” She said with tears in her eyes.

She kowtowed again and got up and left in a hurry.

When I turned back with a smile in my eyes, I caught the gaze of Eighth. His gaze was dark and difficult to distinguish between emotions and anger. The two of us missed each other and I felt my heart tighten. My smile dissipated immediately. Fourteenth watched me with piercing eyes and a half smile. I didn’t dare take a closer look. I walked back to my original position and kept my head down. My mind was foggy and I couldn’t think. What had just happened now while I wasn’t paying attention? Why was there coldness in their eyes?

After Kangxi came back he said he was a bit tired and said the brothers could do whatever they liked. So the elder brothers walked around casually for a while. Li Dequan waited on Kangxi and retreated to Qianqing Palace first. Afterwards I ordered the maids and eunuchs to pack up and I returned to Qianqing Palace.

Before I could exit the imperial garden, I heard hurried footsteps behind me. I paused and turned to glance behind when I was yanked behind a tree. I was slightly startled, but when I saw it was Fourteenth it turned to helplessness. I glanced down at his hand holding my arm.

“Li Wenda is still waiting for my return.”

Fourteenth let go and clenched his hand into a fist. “What is the matter with you and Mynah?”

I remained silent and didn’t answer.

Fourteenth waited a while but saw I wasn’t going to answer. He asked again, “I asked him why he hasn’t asked Royal Father to marry you. But he didn’t answer, he said to ask you, but you are silent. What has happened? Is there something I don’t know?” He was quiet a moment before asking in a tight voice, “You and Fourth were smiling today. Is it another?”

“What happened?”

“You have several fujins, Fourteenth, how much do you know of the affairs between men and women?” I asked helplessly.

“You don’t have to worry about the matter between me and Eighth. As for me and Fourth, are we not allowed to laugh? Aren’t Fourth and I not allowed to laugh about the dog?” I wanted to push him away as I finished speaking, but he didn’t move. I signaled to him to make way.

He stared at me coldly for a long moment before moving aside. “Don’t let Mynah down, or…” Coldness flickered in his eyes.

I was so scared. I rolled my eyes and walked away. I paused after a few steps. Turning back I asked, “Is Tenth in trouble?”

“That’s the excuse for Royal Father. He didn’t come today because of Mingyu. She claimed to not feel well. He is in perfect health.” Fourteenth answered lightly.

I let out a soft “oh” my heart moved slightly. I thought about it and wanted to ask again, but Fourteenth had an angry expression and I swallowed my words. Instead I blessed him and turned and left.

It wasn’t until I was back in my room and laying on my bed that night that I suddenly remembered I hadn’t looked for Thirteenth.

Until winter came, I didn’t respond to Eighth. One day while I was on break, Concubine Liang had a servant call me. He said the flowers I had drawn previously looked good and she wanted me to draw again. I had a guess in my heart and went to Concubine Liang’s palace. Sure enough my sister was already there, but the room wasn’t as warm and comfortable like last time. I didn’t dare lift my head in embarrassment. I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles.

My sister was as usual. “My lord has already told me.” She said softly and took my hand.

It’s not that I haven’t imagined a similar situation, but my sister said such things with a calm tone. At the time I still felt ashamed. My body was stiff and my jaw clenched and sat with my head buried. My sister stretched out her hand to raise my head. But I avoided her hand. She laughed.

“Good sister, are you angry with me or yourself?”

I felt sour.

I reached out to her and threw myself into her arms.

She pulled me into a hug. “If you are angry with yourself, you do not need to be. In fact, the last time I saw you, I had the heart to persuade you that it would be good for you to be with the master. He has a gentle temper and treats his wives and concubines very well. Besides, we sisters would be able to see each other often and be companions.”

“Sister, do you really mind?” I asked sullenly.

She patted me on the back twice and said angrily, “What do you mind? Which brother is not surrounded by three wives and four concubines? Don’t say I don’t care about these things. I care. You are my sister, how can I not care about it. What do you mean?”

I sat silent for a while, but finally couldn’t hold back and asked in a low voice, “If, if… it was that person, do you not mind if he wants another woman?” I quickly raised my head. “I’m talking nonsense, please ignore me!”

My sister didn’t look at me but answered with a sad look on her face. “I don’t know. But as long as it was what he likes and makes him happy, I would be willing. And I believe even if there were others he would still take care of me, love me and treat me well.

She sat silent for a while. Softly, “Emiang [mother] passed away, not long after you were born. So I don’t have any memory.” Although I was very young back then, I had some memories. Father also had a third concubine but I have always treated Emiang well. I still remember you sleeping next to her while I played in the bed. Father sitting on the edge of the bed while I drew eyebrows for her while she was bed ridden.

She and I were silent. It seems as though Ruoxi’s mother had passed away early. But she was still happy for a woman, but what about her two daughters?

My sister was still silent and she looked at me and asked, “What are you thinking? Which man doesn’t have three wives and four concubines? As long as he loves you and pampers you, it’s fine. Where did he come from?” How inexplicably minded! “And having more wives is a good omen!”

I forced a smile and shook my head suddenly thinking of Minghui and asked solemnly, “Did Minghui ever deceive you or hurt you?”

My sister smiled and said, “I recite my scriptures by myself, when did she bully me?”

I stared into her face. “Don’t coax me. I know Hongwang bullies you.”

She laughed. “Children always have fits and starts. Let him go and make trouble. Why worry about it?”

I looked at her. You don’t mind it because you don’t care at all. You don’t care.

Seeing my dazed expression my sister asked softly, “You are not too young. If you choose the right time let me go and beg Royal Father. Getting married early is the real thing.”

Later, my sister tried to persuade me again, but I didn’t listen at all. When I walked out of Concubine Liang’s palace, my head was still heavy.

That night I tossed and turned until midnight, unable to fall asleep. Eighth had sent my sister. It seems I must give an answer.

The scene in the heavy rain kept replaying in front of my eyes. Do I want to be jealous with Minghui in the future?

I can’t do it! I can’t face my sister frankly and I can’t give up my dignity. Dealing with several women and turn around and still have a romantic relationship with him.

He has his own ambitions and cannot give up the throne. He is a father who loves his son. He already has four women by his side, one of them my sister. None of these things can be changed by me. If I marry him, I can only be destined to be unhappy. If I am not happy, how can happiness exist between us?

I can’t just laugh it off like my sister. Eighth rarely visits my sister’s courtyard, so conflicts cannot be avoided. If I really entered the door, one can imagine the conflicts, big and small, will follow. If something like what happened last time occurs, I definitely won’t be able to bear the tone. But at that time I still had Qing Palace because of my identity. Eighth Fujin cannot do anything to me. But if I enter the house I am a young man and she is an old man. The first thing I will have to do when I enter the house is to kowtow to her and offer tea. From then on, only she can sit and talk and I have to stand and listen.

In a conflict, Eighth can stand on my side, but with more and more conflicts, won’t he become impatient? No. When I understand why other people can live happily, I always hold back. He is anxious about things in court, with a bad head he will come home to deal with another war in the home. What’s more, I can only rely on his little love. Minghui has the backing of a whole family. And he wants to rely on her to win the throne. Can Eighth really stand by my side?

My grievances, his incomprehension, can there really be happiness in the long run? The limited relationship between us two may be consumed by such trivial things. If I marry him regardless of life and death, what I would want would be the short term happiness between us. But I can’t see the slightest happiness after marrying him. All I see is the feelings gradually disappear and fade in real life.

If his head were to be severed tomorrow, I would jump on it without hesitation. The moment is burning is eternal, but with thousands of days ahead, I am afraid that the sparks in our two hearts will be extinguished. In the end they will be ashes. There was no burning love between Anna Karenina and Vronsky, but one when encountering reality, when a man’s love is exhausted, Vronsky can return to the upper class by turning around. Anna had no choice but to commit suicide by lying on the rails. My god, so rational! So sober! How can she analyze her feelings like this? I think because you are already Ruoxi, so you are still Zhang Xiao.

I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. The laughter continued, but gradually turned into a low whimper.

The first snow this winter fell for two consecutive days before it cleared up in the morning. For some reason, I feel that this year is extremely cold. I wear layers of clothes, but I still don’t feel warm. Facing Eighth, I felt the chill from my heart to my fingertips.

Trembling, I wrapped my cloak tighter around myself. I tried to open my mouth several times but fell silent again. He kept looking at the sideways pine branches that were weighted down because of snow, a calm look on his face. I bit my lip, knowing that there was no further delay. Now that I have made my decision, I shouldn’t delay others.

“For the last time, will you agree to my request?” I looked at his profile and asked sadly. He stared at me quietly, a hint of sadness in his eyes, and there seemed to be a faint hatred. I didn’t dare look at him anymore and lowered my head, closing my eyes. “Tell me the answer. I want you to tell me yourself. Answer yes or no.”

“Ruoxi, why? Why do you force me? Why do I have to choose between the things that can coexist?”

“I just asked you, agree or not?”

“………..”

“No promise?”

“………..”

I smiled bitterly. I tried my best to hold you, but you have your own choices and persistence. I thought about it and stared into his sad eyes mixed with hatred. “You must be careful of Fourth.”

The hatred in his eyes dissipated and he looked at me in bewilderment. I thought about it and then said, “There is also Wu Sidao, along Kedo, Nian Gengyao, Tien Jingwen, Li Wei. You have to be more careful.”

I know so many of Yongzheng’s cronies, but I’m not sure if I’m correct. I just hope those tv series were not making up randomly. I lowered my head and took a deep breath.

“From now on, you and I will have nothing to do with each other!”

I ran away after I finished speaking. Behind me I heard him wail, “Ruoxi!”

I froze. He said, “I am a person who is greedy for life and death and I am not worth saving.”

I ran wildly after finishing speaking. From now on, you and I are strangers! Why can’t you promise me? Why do you have to fight for the throne? If I can’t save your life, what’s the point of me marrying you? What’s the point? I knew you wouldn’t agree, but I deceived myself into asking again.

I staggered all the way. My feet went limp and I fell to the ground. This time there was no one around to reach out and support me. My face was buried in the snow and my body was cold, my heart even colder. I wanted to get up but my feet suddenly hurt and I lay in the snow again. I didn’t care to take a look at the injury, but felt the pain in my heart. I just lay in the snow, my face pressed into the snow, motionless. I was just thinking of him, wearing black martin lined cloak and a wide black bamboo hat, walking slowly by my side with snowflakes in the sky. The curtain is like yesterday, but today is so close.

“Who is there? Why are you lying in the snow?” Hearing Thirteenth I felt sad, however, my body didn’t move.

Thirteenth reached out to support me, horror on his face. He brushed the snow off my face and head. “Ruoxi, what’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?” He checked me over.

Fourth was standing next to him just as surprised. I ignored their surprise and whispered to Thirteenth, “Send me back.”

Thirteenth quickly asked, “Can you go?”

I shook my head. My feet hurt when I tried to stand on them. I must not be able to walk anymore.

He thought for a while and looked back to Fourth and leaned down. “I’ll carry you back.”

I didn’t have time to think about it and nodded and supported myself. I just wanted to lay on my back. But Fourth took a big step and stretched out his hand to support me.

“Go and call someone. Ask them to bring a rattan drawer to bring her back. How can there be any reason for a royal to carry a maid? It will only attract unnecessary trouble. Even if you are injured, you are not in a hurry.”

Thirteenth straightened quickly when he heard this and said, “I am in a hurry, so I didn’t think carefully.” He left in a hurry.

I stood on one foot, by the strength of Fourth’s support. My mind was numb, as if I had been thinking a lot, and it seems that I haven’t thought of anything.

It turned out my heart was unbearable no matter how rational I was. Analysis does not relieve the pain of the heart.

Fourth has been standing besides me quietly. Just as I was grieving and aching, I heard him say, “If you really want to abuse yourself, you’d better close the door.”

“You don’t have to do this in front of others since you may be disturbed and obstructed by others. And you won’t be able to enjoy yourself if you have to make a confession.”

My numbed mind slowly thawed. It took me a while to understand the meaning of his words. Just now I was still ashamed, but now I suddenly became angry and wanted to shake off his hand, but his arm didn’t move at all and his hand was still on my arm.

I stared at him and he looked at me unmoved.

“Do you want to sit in the snow?” He asked quietly. He moved his arm, letting me go.

I still couldn’t use my legs. One leg was a little stiff again and there was no support. My body shook a bit and I fell to the snow. I couldn’t believe it and looked at him angrily. No one has ever treated me like this!

He looked down at me calmly. I was out of breath and grabbed a handful of snow from the ground and threw it at him. He turned slightly and avoided it. I quickly made another snow ball and threw it at him. He dodged again. He looked at me mockingly while I sat in a panic on the ground.

“I can lie still in the snow, but now I’ll let you sit for a while. What can’t you bear?” I stared at him hatefully.

With a sneer on his lips, he said, “Look at you now. Do you still expect other people to pity you?

I held the snow in my hand, but I knew it would be useless to throw it. I hate him so much, but I have nothing to do with him.

“Why are you sitting in the snow?” Thirteenth asked in confusion as he walked over quickly to help me stand. He looked suspiciously over at Fourth.

Fourth was calmly directing the two eunuchs who came with Thirteenth. The eunuch helped me to sit on the rattan drawer. Thirteenth told them to send me back and to have an imperial doctor come check on me.

I snuck a peek at Fourth. He was watching Thirteenth and the eunuchs with an indifferent expression and didn’t glance back at me. The eunuchs passed them with the rattan drawer. Taking advantage of this I threw the snowball hard at Fourth’s robe hem. In fact I wanted to hit him. On the face, there really is no bear heart and leopard’s courage. But even so, the anger in my heart dissipated.

Thirteenth let out a cry behind me and started laughing. I couldn’t help but turn my head slightly to take a peek. He was looking at the snow on the hem of Fourth’s robes and laughed. Confused he quickly turned his head.

As the anger faded away, I felt the pain in my feet. But the pain in my heart hurt even more. I have nothing to do with it again…

I thought about this sentence again and again when I was on the grassland, but there was always some hope left. I didn’t think that the world would be like this. I thought I would give up my stubbornness and endure the sisters serving one husband. Embarrassed, trying to please him in different ways that may be able to win his heart. But in the end, he will not stay for me.

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nobleconsort · 6 years

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huan will always relate to people who’ve lost their children, or who’s children are not close to them either by force or by literal distance

#out of the palace { ooc }#harem rumors { headcanon }#moreso mothers than fathers #but she does have a special soft spot for father's like her own who love their children regardless #so people who are not yongzheng

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palaceoftears · 2 years

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Zhen Huan + Kosem Sultan × Quote

Despite the visibly difference between the Ottoman & Chinese harems in how in the first the concubines were slaves taken from their families and in the second the concubines were girls called for an election, the reason for Anastasia and Zhen Huan to be picked have the same origin: idealization, Ahmet found peace in a potrait and Yongzheng only found happiness with his wife, and when the same girl from the potrait & a girl with a very similar face to the late empress were separated from their families to reluctlantly serve them, they kept depriving them of their own identities to treat them as those fantasies, peaceful and perfect versions of them they had built in their minds, and those young girls went from being themselves to become the purely good and obedient persons they needed to be to feel loved by those men, to find security and be cherished, manipulated enough to think everything they did was truly for the good of the people, blind to the monstrous egos that were ruinning everyone that disobeyed them, so deeply brainwashed untill reality hitted them, with Zhen Huan it's clearly the trap of the late empress' clothes, together with her family's poor situation and the care she was getting only for her pregnancy that makes her realize why is she truly so favoured, the lie she's been living in, while to Kosem the unlearning comes from an slow yet violent process after Ahmet's death, when she has to fight for her family after Ahmet didn't leave the laws to do it, when she has to realize the fantasy of pureness he had showed her, the idealization of her role in the throne, is no more than a lie that kept her unprepared for the changes and wars to come. In both cases, they gain awareness of the system and use their skills for more than helping their monarchs, they form their own separated goals and outlive them for many time, the way they chose to end with this idealization it's very different, for Zhen Huan it's a planned & very direct revenge, while Kosem's revenge it's a little bit more symbolic: after all, the person who was kept in only a potrait & an idealization everyone made of him was Ahmet, yet the complex and strong ruler who carried the weight of the empire for the rest of her life was no one else more than her.

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audreydoeskaren · 3 years

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Why do you think so many dramas are obsessed with the Qianlong era?

Very very good question, thank you for asking. This turned into sort of a rant but I’ve been wanting to say these things for a long time. I don't know how well known this trope is outside China but there is the idea of 康雍乾盛世, or the "Golden Age of Kangxi-Yongzheng-Qianlong" in Chinese history discourse, which glorifies the second half of the 17th and the whole of the 18th century as this super powerful and amazing time period within the Qing. Emperor Qianlong himself has somewhat of a cult of personality and is a popular figure in historical fiction, especially the bogus and disreputable kind involving romances (野史). His status as the monarch made it easy to write dramas set in the court, which is a perfect fit for the 清宫剧 or Qing court/harem drama genre popularized in the late 1940s. Actually, thinking about it Marvelous Women is one of the only famous Qianlong era dramas that are set outside of court, that's commendable (but then its inaccuracy makes it a lamentable missed opportunity). Actually maybe there are more out there but the inaccurate costuming makes it very difficult to address them as Qianlong era. In the 2000s and early 2010s there were multiple Qing court dramas set in the 17th and 18th centuries, so they have developed into a familiar television cliche and even a cinematic universe of sorts. It’s kind of similar to how a lot of European period dramas are obsessed with Marie Antoinette? Once you make a couple dramas about the same person/group it just keeps going.

On the contrary, the 19th century is known as the "century of humiliation" in China because of Western imperialism, and the Qing court in the 19th century has always been depicted as barbaric and backward in the colonial, Orientalist narratives touted by both actual Western imperialists and Chinese nationalists who internalized their views, so most people don't feel comfortable romanticizing the 19th century court. Personally I am not burdened with this whole shame baggage because I think the Qing was not at fault for being colonized at all, it was the colonizers’ fault, if anything. We do not victim blame in this house. Also, there is plenty of photographic evidence for 19th century China, so in a way it doesn't feel distant enough to sustain a fantasy. Most dramas set in the 19th century court are so called 正剧 or "serious dramas" about political intrigues and grand nationalist undertakings, which are supposed to be more realistic (though I feel like they’re only considered serious because they have a male target audience...)

Sorry got a bit carried away here. Going back to the popularity of the Qianlong era, "Golden Age of Kangxi-Yongzheng-Qianlong" is a concept that irritates me to no end. The assignment of golden ages arbitrarily creates some periods that become overrepresented and some underappreciated, and marginalizes transitional periods where potentially important changes take place. Oftentimes when I see people’s reactions to beautiful artifacts or art from conventionally “weak” time periods, how they act all surprised and say something like “wow I did not expect such nice things to come from this time period” I can’t help but roll my eyes. Life will always be difficult for some people and enjoyable for others regardless of time period, in order to write a story the perspective has to be cherrypicked anyway, so why bother shying away from conventionally “weak” or “unstable” periods. This is not to mention how the criteria for choosing a golden age often reinforce structures of power and bigotry; “golden ages” in Chinese history were usually times when the military was strong and society was conservative, when China was invading other countries left and right and subjugating other peoples. It’s so uncomfortably male centered and overly nationalistic, and plain immature...

And as we can see in the miserable level of accuracy in dramas set in the Qianlong era (or any other popular era to be honest), this obsession is nothing more than 叶公好龙, an obsession with the idea of something and not its content. Most producers don't actually give two hot fucks about real fashion in the Qianlong era, just ways in which they can use it as a backdrop for a fantasy. Despite the wealth of dramas and other media set in the Qianlong era, I have never seen a single Han women’s costume that is actually based on real sources from the Qianlong era (though I have seen some in Song of Youth, which is... set in the Ming Dynasty).

The second half of the 18th century is a non era in Chinese fashion history, a void with next to zero recognition and a public ready to either deny its complete existence or appropriate it as the late Ming. Personal anecdote: I was once visiting the Museum of Applied Arts in Vienna with a friend and there was this wallpaper from the Qianlong era with human figures in realistic fashion on display. This friend was quite interested in historical fashion so I pointed out to her that those clothes were Qianlong era (it also said that in the description of the artwork), and she straight out fucking refused to believe that and insisted they were from the “very early Qing”. This is not at all her personal opinion but a very widespread mindset in Chinese history discourse. I guess this goes back to the misconception of “late Ming fashion continuing into the early Qing” and all Qing fashion that do not look like stereotypical 19th century clothing getting mislabelled as Ming instead. It is incredibly frustrating. This is what I mean when I say 18th century erasure. It is so normalized in the Chinese period costuming industry that it doesn’t even sound weird or wrong to a lot of people, even though it should.

I know many readers of my blog are interested in Western historical fashion as well, so to illustrate how absolutely bonkers 18th century erasure is let me make up some examples. Imagine, there is this new drama set in Georgian Britain, and they use exclusively costumes like this:

Source

Or like this:

Source

Or even like this!!!

Source

(A lot of Manchu fashion featured in period dramas are legit from the 1940s)

And then you show someone an 18th century fashion plate you found

Source

and they say, “oh this looks kind of Tudor, it must be 17th century! In the 18th century people actually wore what is shown in the drama, which is very accurate.” Wouldn’t you want to metaphorically yeet yourself out of the window?? How is this widespread and acceptable??

#qing dynasty #qianlong era #orientalism can eat shit #18th century #18th century erasure #yes this is a new tag now

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nobrashfestivity · 3 years

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GAO QIPEI (1660-1734) Figures Each leaf inscribed and/or signed, with a total of seventeen seals of the artist Colophon by Ye Gongchuo (1881-1968), signed with one seal, dated yichou year (1925) Titleslip by Ye Gongchuo with one seal Handwritten note by Chen Rentao (1906-1968) Album of ten leaves, ink and colour on paper Each leaf measures 26 x 32 cm. (10 1/4 x 12 5/8 in.)

interesting notes found in chinese and translated by google, and they may be wrong but they are amazing:

Gao Qipei was born in the 17th year of Shunzhi in Qing Dynasty (1660) and died in the 12th year of Yongzheng (1734). He made one (1672-1734) at the age of 75. The word Wei Zhi, also called Wei San, was called Qieyuan, or Shuqi Taoist, and was also called Nancun, from Tieling (now in Liaoning). Gong Poetry. When he was young, he studied traditional painting. Landscapes and figures were influenced by Wu Wei. After his middle age, he began to paint with his fingers. His paintings of flowers, trees, birds and beasts, fish, dragons and figures are all simple and vivid. Interesting.

He is also the author of "Qieyuan Poems". According to "Tieling County Chronicles", he was a descendant of a famous eunuch, and was the fifth son of Gao Tianjue, Qingqi captain of Qingqi inlaid with a white banner in the Qing Han army. Gao Qipei studied painting at the age of eight. He traveled to Guangdong with his uncle Gao Chengjue. At that time, there was Wu Wei in the official office of Guangdong, who was able to paint with fingers, and Gao Qipei was deeply influenced by him. He lost his father at the age of seventeen and was raised by his uncle Gao Chengjue. He did not apply for the imperial examination. Zu Yin served as Yaozhou Mu in the 33rd year of Kangxi (1694) and was transferred to Yu Bulang the following year. Forty years in Kangxi (1701), he was governed by the prefects of Suzhou, and two years later, he moved inward as a member of the Ministry of Engineering, Wailang. In the forty-five year of Kangxi (1706), he was sent out to visit Wenchu Road in Zhejiang Province. Later, he was lost to the salt department because of a debt to the salt department while he was serving as a young transport agent. In the fifty-fourth year of Kangxi (1715), Gao Qipei stepped into his official career and served as the Sichuan branch patrol on the South Shuining Road in Sichuan for six years. He was promoted to the governor of Sichuan and served in Chengdu in the fifty-ninth year of Kangxi (1720). . In the first year of the Yongzheng period (1723), he moved to Guanglu, the minister, and was promoted to the right minister of the penalty department in September. In the second year, the red flag was promoted to the capital of the Han army, and still led the rank of the right servant of the criminal ministry. In July of the fifth year of the Yongzheng period (1727), he was dismissed from office due to a mistake in his appointment as the Secretary-in-Chief of the Criminal Department. Although he lived in another country for a long time and wandered around the ocean, he did not forget his hometown. His paintings often included: "Tieling Gao Qipei Finger Painting", "Tieling Gao Qilang", "Tieling Ancient Madness", so people had "Gao Tieling" for him. "The name.

In Gao Qipei's later years, the reputation of finger painting spread far to North Korea, but he still painted "cannibalism to suck blood and frequent candlesticks during the day." In the eighth year of Yongzheng (1730), Yingzhao Yuanmingyuan Ruyi Museum was painting for 3 years, and he created fine silk meticulous paintings such as "The Map of the Yangtze River". Gao Bing's "Finger Painting Theory" records that Gao Qipei was once a portrait of Lu Shuntu, the Shangshu of the Ministry of War, and he drew a standing statue, which is in line with the real person. After the painting was completed, Lu Shuntu said ecstatically : "It's so skillful”

#gao qipei #chinese art #chinese painting

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farmerlan · 4 years

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A guide to commonly used honorifics in 魔道祖师/The Untamed

OK - so, I’ve actually seen some confusion floating around on specific honorifics commonly used in 魔道祖师 and I figured I will put a post up to address some of this - especially the situations when they get used. Hopefully it’ll be helpful for fic writers or whoever else out there that’s getting turned around by the various translations.

As with most of Chinese vernacular, there’s a TON of similar, but different situations in which it may be permissible to use certain titles/honorifics, so bear in mind this is not an exhaustive guide. Also, I don’t have a PhD in Chinese honorifics or anything, I’m just a Chinese person that watches/reads a fair amount of historical dramas. So if I missed anything/if there was anything that was kind of unclear in the novel or drama, feel free to let me know!

公子 / gongzi/ master

Let’s start with the hardest so I can get this out of the way. You will see this translated in a variety of different ways - master, young master, sir...and they are all correct! Congratulations, you’ve hit the jackpot - depending on the situation, gongzi can be a whole hodgepodge of things.

Master: The most commonly used version in MDZS. This is a separate meaning of master from some of the honorifics discussed below - it is specifically used to address either:

Your literal master if you are a servant in the household

A somebody from a distinguished household in a polite way

General honorific: Gongzi can also be used between strangers/acquaintances as a respectful term. Gongzi is, in some ways, an indicator of respect of the other person’s status. So oftentimes you’ll find two young masters from different sects referring to each other as gongzi politely, but you wouldn’t find two beggars on the street calling each other that. and it’s usually used to address someone younger or a similar age as you. If you‘re talking to someone who is clearly your senior, use 前辈 or 先生.

Because it has the connotation of youth and aristocracy associated with it, oftentimes innkeepers/sellers may use gongzi to address male customers (particularly youthful men) because it’s a bit more flattering. Kind of like how the modern day shopkeeper calls you ‘美女’ (beauty) or even ‘亲爱的’（my dear - IDK when this started becoming a thing but if you do any online shopping on Taobao you know what I’m talking about) in China. They don’t actually think you’re beautiful/feel affection for you, it’s just a way of addressing the customer to make you feel good about yourself HA. It’s nice to be called gongzi even if you’re not actually a noble.

There’s variants of this - 小公子/ xiaogongzi is typically young master, although I think some translations just directly use the young master for gongzi. It can also mean the younger master if there is an older sibling in question here (e.g. Wen Chao was referred to as 温小公子 as he was the younger son), although you can also use 二公子（second master), as many do when referring to Lan Wangji. It sounds a little less juvenile.

This term is used for guys - I would say the female equivalent could be 千金/ qianjin or 小姐 /xiaojie.

宗主 / zongzhu/ sect leader

This can only refer to the sect leader - it is a title, and it is passed down. There is typically only one sect leader at any one time, and his eldest male heir will be the successive leader of the sect. I’m going to take this chance to clear up some misconceptions:

Unless Lan Xichen bears no male heirs before his death, Lan Wangji will not succeed him. Lan Sizhui, given that he is not a Lan by birth, will likely never be the Lan sect leader. Yes yes, we all know he’s the adoptive son, but adoptive means literally nothing in the progenical world of Chinese history. Plus, he’s not even the adoptive son of Lan Xichen, so he is a long, long way down from ever being sect leader unless he forms his own, which he would likely never because that’s kind of like betraying your family.

On that same topic, Nie Huaisang succeeded Nie Mingjue because Nie Mingjue died without an heir and Nie Huaisang was the closest blood relative.

For the Jin sect, the succession would have been Jin Guangshan -> Jin Zixuan -> Jin Ling. (y’all I wrote here that it was Jin Zixun first in line but I totally blanked that he was actually a cousin and NOT the son of JGS so ignore that LOL) Since Jin Zixuan died, it became Jin Guangyao - Jin Ling is next in line as he is of the next generation and too young at that time to rule. Honestly, if Jin Ling was older at the time of Jin Zixuan’s death and if this was a Chinese historical palace drama, there would probably be some serious internal political intrigue going on as Jin Guangyao’s claim over the seat would arguably be weaker than Jin Ling’s since he is illegitimate.

For the Jiang sect, Jiang Cheng is the heir even though Jiang Yanli is older because he is male. The question of who will inherit his seat (a very valid question given his luck with dating, although I am sure someone somewhere will eventually warm the prickly cockles of his heart) remains open. IMO there is a less than zero chance that Jin Ling succeeds him unless Jiang Cheng specifically demands for it, but he likely wouldn’t because he is all about decorum and also it would put Jin Ling in an incredibly difficult situation, which is the last thing he would want for his nephew. If he doesn’t end up producing heirs, the seat will likely go to whomever he names as successor, even if non-blood related - maybe the current head disciple.

With that said, although there were generally established rules for succession, actual Chinese history (like all of history) often played out very differently (e.g. Emperor Kangxi stripped crown prince Yinreng of his right to succeed and appointed Yinzhen (Yongzheng), who was the fourth surviving prince, as his successor) so really, even if you were to base sect succession off imperial succession traditions, you could still make the argument that anything goes as long as you have the right people in your corner. HA.

老祖/ laozu/ grandmaster/forefather

I mean, I think grandmaster is probably a fair translation of laozu, which, to be honest, is a harder honorific to translate. It’s definitely influenced by Taoism and not very common at all, but it’s likely derived from Hongjun Laozu (鸿钧老祖), who was a deity and teacher. It does NOT only stand for a senior teacher/master however, because 祖 itself has ancestral connotations, so I think I would personally translate this as forefather. IMO, it’s really only fair to use this on Wei Wuxian and/or originators of a certain branch of study in the MDZS universe - I would consider laozu as the term of respect afforded to people who were pioneers in their fields/sects.

In that sense, Lan Qiren is NOT the grandmaster of the Lan sect. He is an elder - a very respected elder that was basically interim sect leader, but in terms of official title, technically, Lan Xichen could pull rank on him, but he likely wouldn’t unless pressed to because he is also Lan Xichen’s elder.

前辈 / qianbei/ senior/elder

This is kind of an in-between term to politely refer to someone who is your senior, but with whom you really have no formal affiliation with. Unlike 先生, it’s also unisex. A related term is 长辈 /zhangbei, but that is used for people whom you have familial/closer ties with - like an uncle, or someone within your own sect.

师父/师尊/ shifu/shizun / master

Your teacher/master, but not in the servant-master context. Someone who mentors you for years - in the xianxia/wuxia culture, this is a pretty special term because most disciples will only ever belong to one sect and will only ever have one master, and everyone else is a qianbei. The disciple has to ‘拜师’ (to formally request this relationship) and the master also has to ‘收徒’ (to formally accept disciples). So a lot of people went to Yiling in an attempt to 拜师, but Wei Wuxian never did 收徒.

In the wuxia/xianxia context, shifu is technically unisex even though 父 in itself is a male-centric term, although female masters might be more commonly referred to by the gender-neutral shizun instead.

Now that I think about it, shifu doesn’t actually appear in MDZS. Lan Wangji calls Lan Qiren 叔父 /shufu, which is completely different. It means uncle (father’s younger brother, to be exact lol), since that is their relationship.

老头/ laotou/ old man

Wei Wuxian uses this to address Lan Qiren behind his back. It literally just means old man, haha. It’s informal but not a term you would use to refer to someone who is close to you/whom you like, but not exactly a term that is insulting or derogatory, although in Lan Qiren’s case, it is irreverent because it is ill-fitting for the relationship that Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren have. Meant to be used on men, usually for women it would be 老婆婆/ laopopo (NOT THE SAME as 老婆/ laopo, which means wife. Welcome to the weird wonderful world of the Chinese language!)

师弟/哥/兄/姐/妹/ shi di/ge/xiong/jie/mei/ younger brother/ older brother/ another variant of older brother/ older sister/ younger sister

NOT TO BE USED FOR YOUR ACTUAL FAMILY. This is in the context of the sect only. Your fellow disciples, but with varying levels of seniority. Familial honorifics are a whole different thing.

In the context of the sect, who you call your shidi/ge etc. is usually NOT based on age - it is based on someone’s seniority within the sect. If you have been in the sect/under your master’s tutelage for longer, you are the senior, even if you are younger in age.

With that, I think the novel states that both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are similar in age, so it is actually incredibly hard to determine if the author deliberately went against this convention and Wei Wuxian calls Jiang Cheng shidi because he is genuinely younger than Wei Wuxian, or if it is simply because Wei Wuxian is the head disciple of the sect (and therefore, technically, everyone is his shidi). I actually think it might be the former because he refers to Jiang Yanli as shijie, although now that I think about it, it might be the latter...as a reflection of the level of admiration Wei Wuxian has for Jiang Yanli WOAH.

(Fun fact: there’s a scene in the novel in Yi city where Wei Wuxian was silently weirded out that Xiao Xingchen referred to him as ‘qianbei’ - because Xiao Xingchen is his mother’s shidi, which makes him Wei Wuxian’s senior, but then he quickly realizes it’s because he’s talking to Xue Yang and not Xiao Xingchen.)

先生 /xiansheng/ mister/sir/teacher

In present day, this is literally the most vanilla term you can use to politely address a guy. Can be a stranger, or an acquaintance you want to politely address. Usually older than you, although if you’re both similar in age and you’re not really familiar with each other, you might still use it just to err on the side of caution. In xianxia/ancient China, this is usually used more like ‘teacher/sir’ to address an elder. It’s more scholastic in its implication and less generic than qianbei.

In the Lan sect, by crowd definition, 先生 refers to Lan Qiren unless otherwise stated, which makes sense and shows the amount of respect he is afforded in the sect.

夫人 / furen/ wife/madam

A term of respect for typically older women, or can also be used to refer to one’s wife.

Lastly, let me just add that this is just something that’s meant to be helpful for people as they work through the series - at the end of the day, it’s all fictional/xianxia itself as a genre is fantasy so if you need to subvert any one of the generally held succession traditions or whatnot in order to make your fic work, go!!! Do it!!!

#xianxia #honorifics #chinese #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #the untamed #cql #魔道祖师 #lan wangji #wei wuxian #guides #meta

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drwcn · 4 years

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Hi! I hope you are doing okay with all the discourse going around. Im white and raised in a very white society so i will never have a say in it, but i was wondering, is there any way i can educate myself more in asian/chinese culture? Im aware i consume content thru western lens and because of that i dont really get all the nuances of the shows, but i would like to have at least some backround. Im guessing just watching the shows doesnt give enough of that, can you maybe reccommend some blogs or books to check out? (If you dont thats totally fine and im sorry if i said anything offensive)

Hey friend! Not offensive at all, no worries. Honestly, I’m not too sure. I think just keeping an open mind about things is a really good start. I’m not really sure which blogs to recommend but if I could recommend some dramas? Since it’s probably easier to watch a show then read a book?

《The Story of Minglan》 is a good one to sort of parse out the intricacy of historical Chinese society in the Song Dynasty, keeping in mind that different dynasties have different practices, so even amongst different time periods there were differences. 《The Story of Yanxi Palace》 is another good one for Qing Dynasty (circa 1740s) if you wanna get into imperial harem stuff. (Or you can watch 《甄嬛传》 or 《如懿传》 for harem stuff. I just think The Story of Yanxi Palace is the most palatable, most aesthetic, and most fun out of the three. The other two are kinda tragic?) There are other dramas but I feel they’re not as... accessible?

Chinese historical dramas come in 3 flavours: serious dramas, idol dramas, and those that ride the fence. What I mean by idol drama is...everyone in it is young and hot and the writing is eh and the acting is eh. More often then not there’s a lot of modern elements to it. The Untamed is so popular because it’s idol drama done really well. (xianxia and wuxia genre used to be more quality when I was a kid, but now they’re kind of ehhhh.) I would say Minglan and Yanxi are both successful because they ride the fence.

On the other hand, serious historical drama has A LOT of politics and can be quite dry especially if you’re watching it through half-assed subtitles. The actors typically are more seasoned, older. People jokingly say that idol drama is what mom watches and serious drama is what dad watches, and honestly given my parents’ tv habits...it’s pretty accurate 😂.

Some really well known ones from the past 20 years are:

The 《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 series 1-4. I would only recommend part 1-2, 3-4 are not as great. This one has quite a bit of humour but it might fly over your head a bit because of the language barrier. The story surrounds a well known government official and scholar named Ji Xiaolan 纪晓岚, his frenemy and colleague the (EXTREMELY corrupt) prime minister He Shen, and the Emperor Qianlong. For better or worse these three are depicted as both liege and subjects as well as friends. Trying to see Ji Xiaolan and He Shen one up each other while Qianlong tries to balance his court and rule the country is quite interesting. I won’t pretend this is an easy series to follow, but it’s actually quite fun.

《汉武大帝》 - is about Hanwu Emperor of the Han Dynasty circa 150 BC? He’s one of the most famous emperors of distant history. It’s basically about the course of his life and the many people that featured in it.

《大明王朝》- my memories of this one is very vague, but it is about the Ming Dynasty (the dynasty before the Qing Dynasty c. 1500,1600.)

《The Advisors Alliance 军事联盟》- 2017 two-part television series based on the life of Sima Yi, a government official and military general who lived in the late Eastern Han dynasty and Three Kingdoms period of China. circa 150 AD.

As a side note, a lot of serious dramas for a while now have been focused on the Qing Dynasty, just because it’s the last imperial dynasty before Imperial China fell into decline, WWI and WWII ravaged the country and communism happened. Even a lot of idol drama are about the Qing Dynasty (I feel like I should do a post about this, just to string things together haha).

So for the Qing Dynasty, because they are Manchurian, their last name is Aisin Gioro or in Chinese Aixin Jueluo 爱新觉罗. Their earlier emperors are much more well known than their later ones and have been the focus of MANY dramas. (You’ll notice their names in the beginning spell very different than the Chinese names you’re used to, but once they take over China, the emperors’ names start to become more and more mainland Chinese and less and less Manchurian.)

Nu’er Hachi 努尔哈赤/ Nurhaci - The granddaddy of Qing Dynasty, but was never officially Emperor of China during his life time.

Huang Taiji 皇太极 - Nurhaci’s oldest son. He led the campaign against the Ming Dynasty but died before the campaign was over

Fulin 福林, Emperor Shunzhi 顺治 - Huang Taiji’s 9th son. He is the real first Emperor of the Qing Dynasty. His uncle Duo’Ergun 多尔衮/ Dorgon was his regent as well as his commander-in-chief. Dorgon was the one who won the war against the Ming Dynasty and instated his nephew as the Emperor. Fulin was 6 years old when this happened, and now you may wonder why the fuck is that? It’s because Fulin’s mother, Huang Taijii’s widowed concubine Consort Zhuang (name: pu’erji-jite bumubutai (pinyin) 博爾濟吉特布木布泰/ Bumbutai Borjigit, Da-Yu’er 大玉儿) remarried her brother-in-law Dorgon. Whether Bumbutai and Dorgon were actually in love is....contestable. Certainly one of my favourite serious dramas that depict this part of history is《大青风云》.

Xuanye 玄燁, Emperor Kangxi 康熙 - Fulin’s third son. Very famous. Very long reign. Serious drama associated 《康熙微服私访记》，《康熙王朝》

Yinzhen 胤禛, Emperor Yongzheng 雍正 - Xuanye's 4th son. His reign was highly contested because some ppl believed he forged the succession document. It’s probably not true. He was an efficient emperor but very austere, very severe. Not well liked. The best serious drama about him is probably 《雍正王朝》and the aforementioned《甄嬛传》. The former is 100% politics and a fictional re-telling of historical events whereas the latter is 100% harem drama and 100% made up. 《步步惊心》is an idol drama about a girl who transmigrated back to this time and fell in love with Yinzhen. Lol.

Hongli 弘历, Emperor Qianlong 乾隆 - Yinzhen’s 4th son. I think he’s the longest living/reigning emperor of Chinese history. SOOOOO many dramas were made about him or set in his reign. Of the serious drama category: 《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 that I mentioned earlier is really good. There are others but I won’t name them here. 《如懿传》 is a serious drama about his harem, but really terrible? I really didn’t like it (just my personal view). Incidentally it was released around the same time as《The Story of Yanxi Palace 延禧攻略》which is also about his harem and MUCH better in my opinion, because the actor for Hongli in Yanxi is much better skills-wise. 《还珠格格》was the OG idol drama about Hongli’s children. I gave a brief synopsis about it here. It was made in the 90s but damn...so nostalgic.

There’s many more emperors after him, but they’re not as important.

Okay yeah, so I’m not sure if any of this is really helpful, but definitely watching serious drama gives you much better context and understanding of Chinese culture than idol drama. I mean when the drama has flying and magic...the historical relevance sort of falls to the side. 🤣

ADDENDUM: I made a typo earlier. Fulin is Huang Taiji’s 9th son, not Nurhaci’s son. Also Abahai is Huang Taijii’s mother’s name (wikipedia lied to me on this one XD).

#culture #Anonymous #corie replies #recs

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your-disobedient-servant · 3 years

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Never published, likely because it would have been too dangerous, Avis à tous les Orientaux is estimated to have been written in the 1760s and found among Voltaire's papers after his death. I decided to translate because I find it really interesting as an anti-missionary, arguably anti-colonialist (in the religious sense, anyway, but this is Voltaire) tract. Also, because it's surprisingly less bad than the title makes you fear.

Advice to all Orientals by Voltaire

All the nations of Asia and Africa should be warned of the danger that has been threatening them for a long time. There is, in the depths of Europe and especially in the city of Rome, a sect that calls themselves Catholic Christians: this sect sends spies to the whole universe, sometimes by merchant vessels, sometimes by armed vessels in war. It has subjugated a part of the vast American continent, which is the fourth part of the world. Itself confessing to have massacred ten times twelve hundred thousand inhabitants to prevent the revolts against its despotic power and against its religion. About one hundred and thirty revolutions of the sun have passed since this sect, so-called Catholic Christianity, having found the way to establish itself in Japan, or Nipon, wanted to exterminate all the other sects, and caused one of the fiercest civil wars* to have ever laid waste to a kingdom.

The spies called Jesuits, which the priest prince of Rome sent to China, were already starting to cause trouble in that vast empire, when the emperor Yongzheng of happy memory, returned all these dangerous guests to Macao, and preserved, by their banishment, the peace in his empire.°

These same Jesuits subjugated, in America, a country four hundred and sixty miles in circumference; it is said they have civilised the inhabitants: these people, in fact, are civil to the point of being slaves of the catholic bonzes and fakirs known as the Jesuits.

This same catholics made more than one attempt to subjugate the kingdom of Abyssinia.「

The name of catholic signifies universal; this name is enough for them to persuade idiots that the whole universe must believe in their dogmas and submit themselves to their power; these dogmas are the height of madness, and they say that this is precisely what suits mankind. Not only do they herald three gods that only make up one, but they say that one of those three was hanged. They pretend to resurrect him every day with words; they put him in a piece of bread; they eat him, and expel him with other excrement. It is this doctrine that they want all men to submit to; and when they are the strongest, they kill in torments all who dare to oppose their cause for this excess of madness.

These extravagant tyrants boast of being descended from an ancient people called Hebrew, Jew, or Israelite. They ferociously persecute these Jews of which they call themselves their children: they sacrifice them to their three gods, and above all to the one they turn into a piece of bread; and during these sacrifices of human flesh, they chant the hymns composed once by these selfsame Jews that they burn. If they treat all the foreign nations with such barbarity, they mutually exert the same fury against all the little sects their religion is divided into. There is not a single province in Europe that the Christian religion has not filled with carnage. This barbarian slaughters its own children with the same hand that brought desolation to the ends of the world.

It is therefore necessary to pass these excesses to all the languages, and to denounce them to all nations.

Notes:

* Not true, they seem to have arrived during a civil war. They did participate in slave trade, ransacked temples, and tried to convert people by force though. [x]

° The situation with Jesuits in China seems a little more complicated. [x][x]

「 Modern day Ethiopia. The Jesuits did cause chaos and were expelled in 1633. [x]

#is this my first serious translation?#i was due for one anyway #Voltaire #my translation #long post

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shangyangjunzhu · 3 years

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nian shilan v. imperial noble consort dunsu

i know most of us gongdou watchers had an initial fantasy that legend of zhen huan was the absolute truth when we first watched the show but it seems like a lot of people still have a hard time understanding that legend of zhen huan is a work of fiction, so i’d like to give my two cents on this issue.

with all due respect, legend of zhen huan is historical fiction and not a documentary. not only does legend of zhen huan not necessarily abide by many historical happenings and timelines, it also takes a fair amount of liberty with the characters in the show. the only consorts who have historical counterparts are zhen huan, qi fei, nian shilan and the empress herself. yes, the series is heavily inspired by history but for anyone who has not watched the series, you ought to watch the show for zhen huan and the amazing story not to be informed about the yongzheng era.

now coming to the main point of the conversation, nian shilan i.e the character based off of imperial noble consort dunsu of the nian clan is not what the historical evidence of her says to be. it is a loose interpretation somewhat based off of folklore (there are a lot of references even in modern day writing as to how favored she was) and the novel it is adapted from. the novel, according to my understanding, is not set in the qing dynasty (i only read like a chapter or two and that too was mtl-ed for the most part and the manhua also refers to a fictional han dynasty) and my guess is that they decided to adopt the novel into the drama by setting it in the yongzheng era because somehow it fit their needs.

the historical imperial noble consort dunsu did give birth to four children: a daughter and three sons, one of which lived to be around 7-8 years old and was said to be a favorite son of the yongzheng emperor. she passed away due to an illness a month or two before nian gengyao was demoted and punished. from what i have read about her (bearing in mind it may not be reliable) was that she was a cautious woman with a soft temperament.

i know i have said this a lot already, but the nian shilan in the series is not meant to be a faithful recreation of imperial noble consort dunsu. i was actually talking to @mydaylight about this recently and we both pointed out how legend of zhen huan does not take itself seriously with regards to historical facts (which yanxi gong and legend of ruyi both fall victim to) and it’s job as a story is to display the complexity of human nature and relationships between human beings. therefore it makes perfect sense that the makers wished to make her a tragic figure with a complicated character; why would she be a part of the main cast if her purpose was to do nothing but sleep with the emperor and give birth to kids? (i mean all the consorts do that but none of them are limited to that and making sure that nian shilan strictly abided to her historical counterpart would take away the very essence of her as a character)

my advice for y’all: have fun watching these series. if you’re intrigued do your reading and research, but don’t take away the fun of watching guzhuang dramas by expecting everything to be historically accurate.

#legend of zhen huan #zhen huan zhuan #empresses in the palace

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guzhuangheaven · 3 years

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Ok so it always confused the hell out of me why in Huan Zhu Ge Ge, Yong Qi calls Fu Heng “Six Uncle Fu” 傅六叔. This didn’t make sense, firstly, because Yong Qi is calling him paternal uncle (shu 叔) when technically, if you can count Fu Heng as Yong Qi’s uncle, it would be maternal uncle (jiu 舅), via Empress Xiao Xian, who by convention is Yong Qi’s mother.

And then, recently, I looked up information on Fu Heng, and it turns out he is the ninth (and youngest) son of his father. Which just makes the title Sixth Uncle Fu even more confusing. At first, I sort of chalked it up to Qiong Yao just being historically accurate because let’s be real this would not rank in the list of most glaring artistic liberties taken with history in Huan Zhu Ge Ge.

I mean, this assumption isn’t helped by the fact that The Story of Yanxi Palace has Fu Heng being like the third? son, and having a younger brother, when in reality Fu Heng was the youngest child in his family.

(Then again, Yanxi Palace also made it so that Fu Kang An is Fu Heng’s only “son” and the other three don’t even exist. I’m sure in Yanxi Palace, Yong Zhang isn’t supposed to be Consort Chun’s son either. Or just plain doesn’t exist. He Jing doesn’t exist in Yanxi Palace either.)

Anyway, either Fu Heng is ninth or third, neither of which is sixth, which is just made me go ????

So, it turns out, Fu Heng’s father died young, and he was raised mostly by his sister Lady Fucha aka Empress Xiao Xian. Fu Heng was 5 when his sister married the future Qian Long. Apparently, one day, Lady Fucha brought Fu Heng into the palace to meet the then empress (Empress Xiao Jing Xian?), and the empress liked Fu Heng so much that she would often invite him into the palace and grew very close to him. For that reason, people in the palace began calling him “Sixth Master” 六爷/liu ye, as if he were another child of the empress. Emperor Yong Zheng apparently didn’t object to this either, so the name stuck.

(I guess at the time, Yongzheng only had five sons and his sixth son Hongyan had not yet been born? The numbering for Yongzheng’s sons were all over the place anyway.)

So I guess that is a mystery I’ve been wondering about for 20 years solved.

(The funny thing is, in Huan Zhu Ge Ge, Fu Er Kang and Fu Er Tai also call Fu Heng Sixth Uncle Fu, which I guess is meant to emphasise their closeness with Yong Qi. But the fact that Er Kang calls Fu Heng Sixth Uncle Fu is just so ironic as I’m like 99% sure Qiong Yao modelled Fu Er Kang the character after Fu Kang An the historical figure, minus the whole “Fu Kang An might have been Qian Long’s biological son” urban legend. There might be a bit of Fu Long An thrown in as well since Fu Er Kang ends up marrying Zi Wei, Qian Long’s daughter as Fu Long An marries the fourth princess He Jia.) -h

#cdrama #huan zhu ge ge #the story of yanxi palace #story of yanxi palace #fuheng #qing dynasty #uh...#reference #?#history #honorifics #court life

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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years

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A Zhang Of Redness ~ Yin Zhen x Reader

Warning: The first part has some angst to fluff, yet, if you’re brave enough to read the “Sad Ending”, then I warn you, I cried at least 6 times reading it, and 5 times at night, thinking about how to write it properly, all while listening to sad flute and zither ancient Chinese songs. I may need help.

Also, I forgot to explain, in case people don’t know:

Meimei - Term for younger sister. Jiejie - Term for older sister. Niangniang - Term for someone above in title, like an Empress or a Noble Consort. Changzai - First-Class Female Attendant, called ‘Present’, and was the 2nd lowest title in the harem. Daying - Second-Class Female Attendant, called ‘Promise’, lowest title in the harem. Hua Fei - It can vary as a title, but it refers to an Imperial Noble Consort. A Zhang of Redness - One of the 5 punishments from Qing Dynasty : Beating someone over the back, butt or the back of their legs with a some sort of bamboo or wooden bat/cane/rod until the tendons/muscles/bones were crushed, there was lots of blood, and the person either died or became paralysed from waist down.

Also, I got inspiration from watching the Chinese Period Drama ‘Empresses in the Palace/Legend of Zhen Huan’ that focuses on the Harem during the reign of Emperor Yongzheng, aka Yin Zhen, the 4th Prince, and Duke Guo is the 17th Prince, his brother, very young, and very close to him

“Now, Y/N, you and your sisters are of age, so you must go serve the Emperor. It will bring our family the greatest honour should you be selected as a concubine for the Emperor and bring a Prince into this world.” the father put his hands on Y/N’s shoulders, making her look at him with a blank expression, masking her disdain and disgust with excellence. “We are honoured to serve and serve our family and His Majesty, the Emperor.” she bowed gracefully, speaking with an adult maturity that many would envy. “Very well. Take care of your sisters. The Palace is a cruel place, but you, above all, must prevail and bring your sisters up with you.” were the last words her father spoke before sending off his three daughters into the carriage, ready to go with the ‘reaping’, as the eldest would call it.

Unlike her younger siblings, she prayed not to be accepted, since it would be the worst thing that could happen to her and she’d rather die than have to live in eternal imprisonment, having an old man touch her body and impregnate her, despite him being the Emperor himself.

When the three of them arrived at the Palace, and she saw the swarm of girls dressed the same, with the same accessories and hairstyles, she almost felt like puking, although she couldn’t blame them, since that’s how this lame fashion dictates.

She was the only one standing out, much like a sore thumb, completely different, both in appearance and clothing, which made her anxious and nervous, knowing very well how she will be the target of bullying, and in turn, deflect it to her unfortunate sisters as well.

Y/N was the only woman with vibrant red hair and green eyes like the evergreen forest, for her father is an Imperial merchant, and her mother was a foreigner, the most beautiful being alive, that could even compare to the Gods, and yet, the very same Gods she worshipped were cruel to her, as when she gave birth to the twins, she perished, leaving her husband heartbroken and alone to take care of his three daughters.

She didn’t wear any headpiece, nor had any intricate hairstyles, preferring to keep the upper part of her hair in a beautiful rose bun, while the lower part was let loose to cascade past her shoulders, down to her waist, like a fire waterfall. She didn’t use heavy make up, only choosing to highlight her eyes and bring out the shrewdness and brilliance in them. She didn’t wear any jewellery, save for some beautiful pink flowers carefully placed in her hair. She didn’t wear heels, for she was taller than most petite girls, and didn’t want to stand out more than she already did, and of course, she didn’t need them to highlight her grace and dignity. And, most of all, she didn’t wear the traditional clothes that every girl did, instead, worse a long, flowy dress, green, with flowers of a darker, more vibrant green - A dress that suit her like she was the embodiment of Spring, and her slender silhouette was shown off beautifully - Because, after all, this was the dress her mother sew specifically for her in the period while she was pregnant.

When the time finally came for her to present herself in front of the Emperor and the Empress Dowager, the six women walked in a straight line, in front of the Imperials...Only to see a little surprise.

Seven of his sons were there to attend, for one of them were to one day become Emperor, and they must know how things must be done.

“You...You are Y/N, I see. When your father mentioned you were beautiful, just like your mother, I couldn’t believe there could be someone even greater than Diaochan or Yang Guifei.” the Emperor chuckled, looking down at her. “Your Majesty, pardon my rudeness, yet truly, you must jest. My face does not put flowers to shame, nor does it embarrass Mother Moon herself. Likewise, I would say I that...That there are other women in history that would fit me better, should you truly wish to compare me.” she could feel the intrigued, burning gazes of everyone, and it took everything she had not to visibly gulp or show any kind of emotion. “Raise, child, and look at me. Who would you think I should compare you to?” the Emperor so gracefully talked, with the same dignity that any Imperial must have, yet now, it seemed to be warmer. “Tan Yunxian.” she spoke bluntly, her green eyes not wavering as she held eye contact with the Emperor. “Tan Yunxian...You are a bold one to speak like that. You are a sharp woman, intelligence is obviously sparkling in your eyes, you know what you want from life, and you choose to be branded a witch by practicing the medical arts that only men do and risk death, instead of aiming for a peaceful and resourceful life as a wealthy concubine and bring honour to your father. Why is that?” he asked once again, which made her bow, but not look away from him. “Most people tell the gender of a rabbit by its movement: The male runs quickly, while the female often keeps her eyes shut. But when the two rabbits run side by side, Can you really discern whether I am a he or a she? That is my reply to your question, and I would beg you to forgive my rudeness by speaking so directly, but this was never the life that fit me. The only arts that suit me are the exact ones - Healing, Calculus, Atrology, Physics, Alchemy...My sisters are much better at the arts of the heart, but I prefer to make a difference on this world. Too many women preferred to let themselves die because of scrutiny - A woman should rather starve to death than lose her chastity - they said, yet, for me, life is a sacred gift and should be treasured above all. There are no female physicians in the palace, Your Majesty, and males cannot fully comprehend the pains of a woman, nor can they properly treat one. With your grace, should you choose not to kill me, I would very much like to serve the Emperor with the way fate dictated my strengths.” she spoke without any hint of fear in her heart, already waiting for her death penalty to be told, and yet, the Emperor chuckled and looked to his right, sharing a look with one of his sons, the one dressed in vibrant gold, the one whose eyes resembled his the most. “My son, I see you are interested in this one as well. Tell me, what would you do, should you meet someone as peculiar as this one?” the Emperor asked, letting him have the final say in it. “She quotes the Ballad of Mulan so boldly, as if she herself is Mulan. Do you remember, Father, that in some stories, when Mulan was forced to join the Harem, she chose to commit suicide? I see this one none the wiser. With the proper training, she could prove to save more lives than most of those useless physicians could, I would say. She has enough fire and ambition...But What if she wavers in front of dangers?” the 4th Prince asked, almost rhetorically, only for his older brother, the 3rd Prince, to chime in. “Let’s see, then.” he shrugged, motioning for an eunuch to step forward. “Should you be able to keep looking into my eyes for the whole trial, your position as a physician will be locked.” the 4th Prince mused, his dark eyes peering into her jade like ones, and it seemed almost as if they were in a trance, and nothing around them existed anymore.

The little eunuch threw water at her feet, yet she nonchalantly stepped over it with no second thought. They made loud noises behind her, or close to her ear, yet her only interest was the beautiful dark shade of the Prince’s eyes. The test continued on, until the Prince walked forward and drew his sword, putting the tip under her chin, raising it. The silence created tension for everyone, causing her sisters to gasp and hold tightly onto each other from fear, while some labourers were confused and panicked at the sight before them, while the two only got deeper and deeper enchanted by the other. It wasn’t until one of the Gugu matrons stepped forwards with a cat held in her arms and threw it at the ground violently that the girl slapped the blade away and let herself fall to her knees to catch the poor feline, then rose back again, gently petting and calming the animal, while throwing a harsh glare at the elder woman, before turning back again to the Prince.

“You lost the trial.” he said, yet mischief was glittering in his beautiful eyes. “Life over all. ALL life over all.” she pointed out, stepping closer to the Prince, and as soon as she knew she was completely hidden by his much larger form, she smirked at him, challengingly, which made him scoff in amusement right back at her. “You lost the trial, but won the position with your virtuous, unwavering heart. Father, with your approval, I will be responsible of her, and she will be my personal physician, and the physician of all the women in the palace. Her thinking is mature, righteous and ahead of her times.” the Prince bowed in front of his father, vouching for the girl next to him, who could only look in shock at the Imperial Son who seemed to trust her so. “I dare not deserve such baseless praise. Wait until I have achieved anything of significance.” she bowed next to the Prince, letting the cat go back to its owner. “Very well, I approve of your request. From now on, Lady Y/N shall be promoted to Lady Shuyu, the Wise and Virtuous Lady, she will be taught by the imperial physicians and will report directly to you, 4th Prince. Likewise, she will be staying at the Palace closest to the Imperial Library, yet, I believe I should change its name, since it needs renovation. Do you have any preferences?” the Emperor asked, as the girl was bashfully looking at the ground, not believing that her dreams were finally becoming reality. “Father, if I may, I would suggest - Palace of the Blue Lotus - for it is the symbol of victory, intelligence, wisdom and knowledge, something that My Lady seems to be the embodiment of. I heard it once being called - The Perfection of Wisdom - and I believe it fits her very well. Look at her, with her outfit and hair, she almost looks like a Lotus flower herself, wouldn’t you say?” the 3rd Prince commented, making the Emperor nod in approval. “Very well, I agree with you, 3rd Prince. Then, Lady Y/N, until your Palace is completely renovated, you will be staying at 4th Prince’s Palace and have him look after you.” the Emperor’s order made her eyes widen and cheeks redden from embarrassment, yet she gracefully bowed in thanks for the Emperor. “Your Majesty is benevolent and kind above all, I thank you for giving me a chance.” she spoke in a much softer voice. “Look at this one, she can be anything she wants. A Hua Mulan, a Diaochan...Yet, above all, I believe she could even be the next Wu Zetian, wouldn’t you say, my Son?” the Empress Dowager spoke with a gentle smile, which made the girl gasp and bow to the ground, flustered. “Your Highness, I am undeserving of such praise! I am but a mere woman who wishes the best for her peers, but I will never be able to get close to Wu Zetian’s greatness!” she spoke rapidly, not daring raise her face to them, only to receive chuckles and laughs from the audience. “She may not be the next Wu Zetian, but she may as well be the first Y/N L/N.” the 4th Prince teased the girl as he offered his hand to help her to her feet, before pinching her reddening cheek. “Indeed, indeed! But what should I make of your sisters? You say they are talented in arts, correct? Then, I will accept them, and wait for the time they can heal my soul with their magic and grace.” the Emperor’s eyes held amusement, as all three sisters bowed in unison. “Your Majesty is great and kind above all.”

And so, for the first time in their life, the sisters were separated from each other. While the twins enjoyed a palace to themselves and another high ranked concubine, Y/N was comfortably staying in 4th Prince’s Palace, having just one trusty maid, for more would be a hindrance, and dressing in whatever comfortable clothes she wished to wear, sown by her and her maid.

She wasn’t a fan of sewing, but she practiced it regularly because she believed having dexterous fingers meant you would be a great physician, so she continued her work, using the softest cotton bolts brought from Western countries, and she made a beautiful light pink nightgown along with a pair of shorts and embroidered small purple flowers, and since then, her sleep has been the best she’s ever had... Although the silks from her bed must have added to the comfort as well.

As thanks for the Prince, the girl decided to sew a blue pyjama from the cotton, Western bolts for the Prince with whom she was residing, and used Chinese threads of gold and violet to embroider dragons on it, wanting to make a little play on the Western symbols of royalty.

Days passed way too quickly in the Palace, as the 4th Prince was excellent company and would humour her often with a cup of tea and a lost game of chess since truly, he wasn’t the best at it yet, but the quick exchanges of wit were worth the time spent there.

When she wasn’t by his side, she would go to the swing in the Garden of Peaches all by herself and swing herself high, almost as if she was trying to reach the sky, and when returning, she would let herself lean down, to watch the clouds, all while laughing in complete freedom, just like the tale of the Crane Wife.

Every time she would stop swinging, she would take out her jade flute and, unbeknownst to her, the Prince would hide just to hear her play with such skill and emotion that it truly moved him, and he had to admit, the saddest song she played, Autumn Moon over Han Palace, the one that truly depicts the cruelty with which the young and innocent souls of young women get crushed in the palace, only to be rewarded with misfortunes and sorrow, and he knew then that there was no way he would let anyone harm her.

The Emperor made him look after her, and so, he will.

“4th Prince, now that I shall not be living in your Palace anymore, I should thank you for your hospitability and kindness for the time I bothered you and invaded your privacy. Please accept my humble gifts for you, as a thank you for all the goodness you’ve showed me.” she personally handed him the boxes of gifts, since it was too personal to let her maid handle this matter. “I thank you for the gifts, yet you need not thank me for something so trivial. Congratulations in moving in your own Palace, little Lotus, but don’t forget that this has been your home too, and you are always welcomed here. I have also sent you gifts at your new residence, I wish you will use them with a smile on your face.” the prince spoke, putting the boxes on the table and petting her hair gently. “Without all the snark and witty comments, I almost don’t recognise you, Yin Zhen. Could you perhaps be ill?” she scoffed in amusement, making the man flick her forehead. “Going by how red your cheeks are, I’d say you’re the one who caught a fever.” he spoke with an obvious undertone. “How rude of you, Prince! Don’t you know it’s unfair to tease a lady?” she pointed out with a flustered scowl on her face. “Sister, weren’t you the one who once that that if a man teases a woman, he must be in love with her?” a soft, yet playful voice came from behind Y/N, which made her yelp in surprise and turn around in shock. “You’re horrible sisters, you know that, don’t you? I only said that so you’d feel good about your little, young selves, when the general’s son came over to visit father!” she sighed, looking away. “He doesn’t matter anymore! Now, look at you, the most favoured woman in the Palace by the Emperor, the Empress, the Dowager AND the Princes! We couldn’t compete with that, even now that we both served the Emperor and we were barely given the title of “Changzai”, and that’s mostly thanks to your influence and the fact that you helped the Lady of Morality give birth to the Princess.” Liyan spoke out, tugging on one of the arms of the elder sister. “It’s a bit weird if you think about it. Y/N Jiejie is over here, falling for the Emperor’s son, while we are pillow mates with the Emperor. He’s older than father!” Xiyan spoke so shamelessly, tugging on the other arm, that it made the poor elder sister blush deeply, and putting her hands on the back of their heads, she hit their heads together. “Liyan Meimei and Xiyan Meimei should learn how to be less vulgar and have some shame! Now, if you would excuse me, I must go do a regular check up on the Noble Consort’s pregnancy, I have no time for your foolish nonsense. I bid you all farewell.” she gave a sarcastic bow to the three before rushing out of that place. “I haven’t seen Jiejie so flustered before. Remember when that young poet came over and started playing the zither and singing for her, and she still turned him down?” Xiyan giggled, intertwining her fingers with her twin. “Yes, I remember! And it was the famous JiKang, the best zither player in the country! It’s a pity, really, I remember Jiejie saying how much she’d have liked to be free and travel the world, but she has to honour her duty to her family, otherwise she will be a disgrace and get killed.” Liyan sighed, looking away. “If your sister heard you gossiping like that about her, she’d get very upset at you. Now run along, you two.” Yin Zhen commented with a hint of playfulness, ushering the two sisters to scatter.

Days and nights went by fast, and Y/N was quickly climbing the ranks of a physician due to her hard working and witty disposition, and yet, when winter came and snow started falling hard, and the Consort was now 5 months pregnant, and need to have her regular check up. As Y/N gave her the medicine to drink, the consort started screaming in pain and collapsed on the bed, her nether regions bleeding. She was having a miscarriage. With the help of a few maids and physicians, she managed to stop the bleeding and keep her stable, but she knew very well it would be hell once everyone finds out about the loss of the Imperial offspring...

And the consort was a truly vengeful one.

“How could you...?! How could you?! You insolent wretch, you made me lose my child!” the consort was livid, thrown things at the girl who was trying to calm her down. “Hua Fei Niangniang, what have you been eating and drinking recently? Perhaps there may have been something put in your food or tea? Or perhaps the fragrances or incenses?” she tried to ask, but it was to no avail. The consort was so upset that the Emperor himself, along with the Empress, the Dowager, the Harem and the Princes had to come and console her. “Emperor! Emperor! This stupid bitch is jealous that you favour me and made sure I have a miscarriage! It happened just as I drank the medicine from her!” the consort threw herself in the Emperor’s arms, sobbing loudly. “Medicine takes at least half a day to act, and you barely took a sip from it. I’m asking again, has your food and drink intake been properly taken care of?” Y/N asked once again, in a gentle voice, hoping to have an answer...But none came, only screeches. “You vile devil! You came here to have all women of the Harem miscarry! You want favour all to yourself! That’s why you walk around the Princes like a fox, drawing them in! You’re a lust demon! Get the guards and take her! Make her punishment be fitting to her hair! A Zhang of Redness!” she shrieked, making all the women gasp in shock. “Your Highness, I have nothing to do with Niangniang’s miscarriage. You can have any physician look over the tea I prepared and all the prescriptions I gave her, and none of them hold any abortifacient plants. I rest my case, and I will investigate the causes of the miscarriage, and should it have been my mistake, I will accept such a punishment. If not, then I beg for Your Majesty’s mercy.” Y/N bowed deeply to the ground in front of the Emperor, who seemed to nod in understanding. “Very well. I won’t offer you much time, but until then, you have all resources at hand. Everyone is dismissed.” and thus, they all left...Except for the 4th Prince who crouched and helped the girl up, his expression unreadable. “You truly know how to get yourself in trouble, don’t you?” he spoke with obvious concern. “Though I withdraw my sword to cut the water, it still runs. I toast to dispel worry, and create more worry…The water still flows, though we cut it with our swords, And sorrow returns, though we drown it with wine…” she muttered, looking ahead of her, in the void of emptiness that became her heart. “You once said you were not talented in arts, yet here you are, quoting Li Bai. You will always be a surprise, won’t you?” Yin Zhen cast her a half smile, which she returned. “It only fits. Now go. The Emperor will have my head should I let a man rummage through a woman’s belongings.” she sighed, turning around to investigate the place, while hearing the taunts of the consort...Until she found a cup that oddly smelled like green papaya, and a mortar and pestle that still had some cinnamon and pomegranate seeds powder in it. Afraid that the consort would realise she found the incriminatory objects, she took out a bag and threw it on the table, feigning that she putting all her medical belongings back in the bag, only to have the cup and mortar taken as well, and with a bow, she hurried to her Palace to study them.

She didn’t know much about such plants since they weren’t exactly used in medicine, and yet, she had to study them, while hiding the bag with incriminatory objects very well.

It was a cold, yet beautiful snowy night, and Y/N felt so crushed by fear from the recent events, that without realising, stepped outside, her feet dragging her to Yin Zhen’s Palace, and she had no idea until his Eunuch spoke to her, welcoming her inside and scolding her for not wearing something warmer, before having the maids prepare tea and telling the Prince about her arrival.

Silence took over them as they played chess and drinking tea, yet her mind was somewhere else completely, making her lose for the first time...But he wasn’t surprised in the least.

“What did you find out?” he asked bluntly. “Do you hate me, Yin Zhen?” she asked, using one of her silver ring claws to stir the tea in her cup. “Why would you ask something like that...? Do you suspect me of framing you, or what?” he asked, shock obvious in his voice, until he realised the tears that were falling down her face. “Then...Why...? I...I thought you...Of all people...Wouldn’t...” Y/N was unable of cursive, coherent words as she raised her finger to eye level, showing that the silver claw became back. “I did NOT poison your tea! Shu Pei Gong, who prepared this tea? I want them brought here and held responsible right now!” the rage the Prince felt was immense, but he knew now to let feelings overtake his ration. “What did I do to deserve such hatred...? I’m not part of the harem, I never hurt anyone, I’ve always been respectful and helped everyone, I never wished for promotions, titles, ranks or favours...So why...Why...?! Why is this happening to me?!” she cried out, her heart suffering greatly, enough so that before he could say anything, she ran out again, taking a shortcut through the Plum garden, where she let herself fall to the ground, the freezing cold unbothering to her, as she felt as cold as ice from the constant heartache she suffered.

She hated the colour red, it was everywhere, yet people didn’t understand why she’d despise such a beautiful colour. It was the colour of her hair, the colour of Maple leaves, the colour of Plum blossoms, and of course, the colour of blood.

Blood, for that’s all she was seeing - Laying there, on the pure white snow, crystals falling from the sky, covering her in a soft blanket, the shade of her skin, contrasting her hair, her flowers and...The blood from her injury.

But as the dark abyss of death started taking over her senses, she saw two little jades that appeared and disappeared just like shy will’o’wisp spirit orbs.

What was in her head, running away like that, in the dead of such a freezing night, and why the Plum Garden that is like a crimson maze that could have served as her resting place.

Who would have known she would be so sensitive, Yin Zhen thought, and yet, he is her confidante, and she thought he poisoned her, which would be a shock for everyone, especially after everything going on in her life.

She looked so petite in his large bed, in his own pyjamas, as her own clothes were soaked from the snow and she’s already shivering, the last thing he’d want is for her to get deadly ill.

“Your Majesty, a blow to the back of her head with a blunt object cause her collapse and fainting, but the coldness worsened her health. She will need to rest and take medicine regularly. And...As much as possible, she must not stress, mentally, emotionally or physically.” the physician bowed to the Prince as he sat on the edge of the bed, gingerly brushing away the hair from her face. “Easier said than done when you’re dealing with such a stubborn hard-head...You may go now. I will look after her.” the Prince dismissed the physician who kowtow-ed and left the place that got quiet...So quiet...Save for her unconscious shivering. “What will I do with you, Y/N? How can I save you when you run away from me?” he muttered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “You should have left me there.” a soft whisper was her, as the girl opened her glistering eyes. “Don’t speak such nonsense.” he scolded her, yet his eyes were gentle. “What is death if not a blessing in disguise? For unfortunate people like me, only followed by misfortune...What is there to live for? Instead of investigating her case, I should have let her punish me. It would have been less painful than my discovery.” her voice was devoid of any life, yet the tears that delicately made their ways down her cheeks were enough proof of sorrow and heart break. “What are you talking about, Y/N? What did you discover?” he asked, his attention not wavering from her. “Wu Zetian? Diaochan? Hua Mulan? Tan Yunxian? Yang Guifei? What the hell was in my head? The only thing I could share with them is a broken heart. Why did I even dare to think that I, as a woman, would have any chance to achieve happiness and freedom? I can’t even try to be Lin Siniang, for I have no martial arts, and I can’t go and die in battle for someone. I’m completely and utterly useless.” the girl sighed, turning her back to the Prince, letting her hair drape over her face to avoid being seen. “Y/N, I am your confidante, tell me what happened. When you feel like you can’t trust anyone, not even your family, or the world, I will be here to listen and be honest with you, no matter what. I promise.” he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace, stroking her hair to calm her down, yet in only generated in her sobbing. “When I was struck and fell, I feigned being dead. I kept my eyes half-open, and I didn’t blink. I stopped breathing and looked up at the sky. And despite my blurring vision, I saw a pair of green orbs. And then, I heard a giggle, and a word. Just one word. You know what it was? They said - Finally - and then left. Do you understand what I mean, Yin Zhen?” she asked, letting go of him and looking him straight in the eyes. “You don’t mean...?” his eyes widened with surprise, not having expected something like that. “When I investigated the consort’s room, I found a cup that smelled of papaya and a mortar with cinnamon and pomegranate seeds. When she wasn’t looking, I stole them and went home to read more about these. My sisters visited me that night and we discussed about those items...And it was then that I found out that those plants cause natural, spontaneous abortions. They said they were worried about me...And then...They snitched on me to the consort. My maid warned me there were suspicious people lurking around so I secretly left my Palace and came to yours after taking the longest and darkest route. Somehow, they managed to make me paranoid enough by poisoning my tea in your own house...And I got scared and ran away. I was going to seek refuge at the Dowager, until the consort’s eunuch found me and yanked me over the head. That’s when I saw my sister’s eyes...The very same eyes that I hold...And most likely, they stole the items from my Palace and disposed of them...So what is there to live for, anyway?” she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, weeping silently. “You have me and I will help you out. I won’t let anyone punish you, I promise you that.” he cupped her face, making her look at him with her sad, doe-like eyes. “Even if I escape punishment, who can mend my shattered heart? My father never supported my passions, so I did everything in secret...And my own sisters plotted and went against me, for some reason that I’m completely unaware of, considering I always took care of them, sent them any riches I had and got them out of trouble...And there’s no way I will ever escape the hell from the harem wrath, even if I’m not part of it. I am lost with no place to call home and nobody to love me. I should just go end myself with some wine, out in the Plum Garden. It would be a very fitting end with no pain. Very beautiful...Maybe some music would have made it perfect - “ she kept talking in self-deprecation, not realising how it upset the man in front of her, until he stopped her by kissing her with enough fire to begin the melting process over the frozen pieces of her heart, “Stop speaking like that, you are upsetting me. How can I marry you and spend the rest of my life with you by my side, if you let the world get to you and kill you?” he was scolding her in a gentle manner, his hand on top of her head, putting his forehead to hers. “How can I not, when my own sisters, that I raised and took care of since mother died, plotted my death and were happy to see me fall? My own family, Yin Zhen! How can I bare with that?!” her voice was full of emotions of all kinds, desperate to have someone to cling on. “Those who wish ill on you are not your family, even though you are bound by blood. You have me, Y/N. I vow to you, I would never leave you alone. I will always be there for you, no matter what, and I will never let anyone hurt you again.” the man said, making the girl sigh and shake her head. “What are you trying to say, Yin Zhen? There’s only so long until you’ll become the Emperor. Even if you want to, you won’t have the time to even remember I exist. And you will be busy with all your concubines every night. Don’t vow what cannot happen, or you will anger the Gods. Be realistic. You know how I am. I refuse to bare children, I refuse to deal with the harem. I will get jealous, and in the end, you will end up hurting me more than my own family did.” she hung her head, wiping away the stray tears. “When I become Emperor, I will be able to do anything I want to. It’s true, I will need heirs, but that’s what the harem is about, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hold you in my arms every night. You will be Empress, and you will help me with matters of the Palace. If the Consort can deal with the harem now, she can do so when I reign as well. Not to mention, the current Empress favours you, she will be kind with you once she becomes Dowager.” he explained reassuringly, which made her look up at him slowly. “Do you vow you always love me the most and have me and only me as your priority? And you will listen to me when I talk. And we will still hang out at midnight in the Cherry Garden, we will still go swimming, or swinging in the Peach Garden, we will still play the Zither and Flute together and you will still compliment me over the littlest things, no matter what?” Y/N spoke a bit more harshly, to get her point across, which only made the man chuckle. “I vow that I will still be your Confidante, and you will be mine, and things between us won’t change even when I become Emperor. Who else could sew me such comfortable pyjamas and then wear them much better than I do?” he pinched her cheek before kissing her forehead tenderly. “That’s because I have style. Now...Tell me, what should I do?” and her reply came in the form of a scoff of amusement as the Prince pulled her to his chest, making her sit on his lap. “Sometimes I wish you were more ruthless, little fox. But it’s fine, I will be ruthless enough for the both of us. Just trust me, and tomorrow, we’ll go together and prove your innocence once and for all.” he declared in a voice fit for an Emperor, before putting one hand on the back of her neck, while the other was on her waist, and pulling her flush against his chest, he kissed her, gently at first, to make sure she wouldn’t shatter in front of him like a precious china doll, only to gradually become more and more passionate.

And once again, just like when they first met, they locked tender gazes and got lost in their own paradise - You are mine and you can only be mine - He’d think, just for a split second, as he continued kissing and touching her skin, softer than any cloud.

The next day marked the beginning of his vow, as she woke up with his arms draped around her small form and him stroking her hair gently, before they got dressed properly and went to her palace, the Blue Lotus, only to find her maid freaking out and checking her for any injuries.

When they explained to her what happened, Shi Lian grinned and ran to fetch a bag that she buried in a secret place under the snow, revealing the incriminatory objects that she risked so much for. The maid then pointed out that some eunuchs came over and tried to search the place, with the help of one of her sisters, only to find nothing and return fearfully to the noble consort, their mission failed.

Wait until they see she isn’t dead, really.

And so, Yin Zhen baited the sisters into going to the consort’s house, and told the Emperor to wait outside of the door and listen, only interfering if and when he sees fit.

“4th Prince, what ever could be the reason for summoning us like that?” the consort asked with a feign-innocent smirk o her face. “I believe it’s high time to finish investigating a crime, correct, consort? The mystery behind your miscarriage?” Yin Zhen’s eyes were sharp, yet victorious. “Ahh, yes, but wasn’t it confirmed to be that woman physician’s negligence?” she preferred to fake admiring her hand jewellery, instead of looking at the prince. “That is quite the narrative you painted, isn’t it? Painted with her blood, and the blood of my father’s offspring. Clearly, there is no shameful level of low-ness that you wouldn’t stoop to, just to gain my father’s attention and favour, isn’t it? Even going as far as to frame the only physician who would properly be able to heal you and the women of the Palace. She fought hard to convince my Imperial Father, the Emperor, to allow her to be a medicine practitioner, with you in her mind, not her own well-being. You must truly be cruel and desperate to want to get the Emperor’s favour that badly, again. You must know you’re getting old and ugly, and you won’t be my Father’s favourite anymore...And his favourites will be the newer concubines...Like Y/N’s sisters, who have unique, green eyes, unlike all the other women here.” the Prince hit the nail spot on, making the consort look at him with fear and indignation. “U-Uhm, Prince, I know you favoured Y/N Jiejie, but why are you dragging us into this?” Liyan asked cautiously. “Because the consort came to you with an alliance - If you get rid of Y/N, you won’t bully the sisters for being young and favoured. However, the sisters were jealous of Y/N of having favour from everyone without having to conform to the norms every woman has to, for she is not a concubine, therefore, she had nothing to fight for except your lives. To think that her own sisters that she took care of would plot her own demise without a single speck of regret. You caught her when she was most vulnerable, alone, in the Plum Garden, then had some eunuch strike her over the head with a wooden bat. Truly horrific to think family would behave like this.” the Prince played the detective part, explaining the story he heard from the girl herself. “What gives you the right to accuse us of such treacheries?! We would never hurt Jiejie!” Xiyan growled at the man, only for a surprise to happen, as the woman in cause entered the scene dramatically. “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N asked in a low voice, earning gasps of shock from the 3 other women. “J-Jiejie! You’re alright! You’re alive!” Xiyan’s lips quivered, as her eyes were darting between her sister and the consort. “Why wouldn’t I be alive, Xiyan Meimei? Was something supposed to happen that would guarantee my imminent death?” Y/N tilted her head slightly to the side, staring deep into her sister’s eyes, searching for the truth. “N-No, of course not! Why ever would you claim something so cruel?” Xiyan chuckled nervously, walking a few feet backwards. “All my life I thought myself the family disappointment since I never was the perfect woman that father wanted me to be, to bring honour to the family...But I know for sure that I never raised a liar or a traitor. You are a disappointment. To think you’d partner up with the consort to kill me, and then, when I talked to you about the evidence I found in her palace, you’d try to kill me and steal the objects. My maid is my family more than you ever were.” Y/N shook her head in disappointment, taking out the bag, which made the three women widen their eyes in horror, knowing very well what was going to happen. “Look at them, they are already pissing themselves with fear. They know what is in them.” Yin Zhen scoffed at them. “This is the consort’s cup, from which she drank Green Papaya juice...And this is a mortar in which cinnamon and pomegranate seeds were crushed into a powder. All of these are known to naturally induce abortions, so it’s no wonder she had a miscarriage when I gave her the medicine. You wanted the attention and to kill me, so what better way to do so than to frame me, punish me yourself, and have the Emperor hate me and potentially kill me? A Zhang of Redness, you said. How cruel of you, Consort.” Y/N taunted her once again, showing the evidence, putting them on the table. “You’re insane! This is a conspiracy! You have 4th Prince’s and you got him to conspire against me! You’re the worst!” the Consort shrieked at the girl, almost getting physically aggressive, until the Emperor himself stepped in the room. “That’s enough! How shameless can you be? I understand being jealous of the women of the harem, but of someone who is here only to save your lives? Impertinent!” the Emperor’s booming voice resounded throughout the room, drowning out the consort’s whinings for a little while. “Y/N, you have been the wronged one here, I will let their punishment be of your choosing, no matter how harsh. I will take my leave now, I cannot stand to look at these wretches anymore.” and so, he left the place, letting the consort grovel on the ground, helplessly, shrieking in the worst high-pitched voice. “All’s well when it ends well, I’d say.” Y/N muttered, looking at her two little sisters. “What do you two have to say in your defense?” “We are sorry, Y/N Jiejie, we were wrong! Please, forgive us!” the twins jumped on her, hugging her tightly, stunning the poor girl. “How cruel. You know she’s soft hearted so you try to play her again. You are shameless leeches.” Yin Zhen spoke out, seeing the conflict in his lover’s eyes...Only for her to gasp suddenly and widen her eyes in shock. “Finally...Huh? You’re truly the worst...Yin Zhen told me to be more ruthless...Perhaps I should begin now.” with a pained expression on her face, she pushed the sisters away from her, revealing the bleeding stab wound from her abdomen. “How many more times are you going to try to kill me? As many times needed until you finally succeed...But you think a tiny blade like this will do the trick? If poison, a bat to the head and the freezing cold didn’t kill me, this is nothing more than a mosquito’s bite for me.” Y/N looked at Liyan with disgust as she snatches away the dagger by the blade, throwing it away. “Y/N...!” Yin Zhen looked in horror at the wound that kept bleeding and bleeding, staining the green material of her beautiful dress. “This all began when you wanted to punish me with A Zhang of Redness. My hair is red. The Plum blossoms are red. My spilled blood was red as well. Now, it’s your turn. All three of you, I punish you with a Zhang of Redness, and should you live, I will take away all your titles and riches. Hopefully, you will see what I felt when I realised that death would be a blessing, rather than living. Enjoy your lives as paralysed traitors, you three.” despite the single tear straying down her face, Y/N’s eyes were cold and merciless, at least just for then, as hearing her little sisters scream, sob and plea for her to have mercy on them and forgive them was something that unavoidably crushed her, but there was nothing she could do about it anymore. “Every day with you is like watching a dramatic tragedy at the opera.” the prince sighed, picking her up carefully and bringing her to his palace, so the physicians would tend to her wound. “Isn’t my life a tragedy enough as it is, without you having to remind me?” she scoffed, turning away from him. “It won’t be anymore, my dear. I promise you.” and with that, Yin Zhen embraced Y/N once again, taking away all her sorrows, at least for the night, and many more other nights.

~~~ I also have a Sad Ending, read at your own risk. If I were you, I wouldn’t read it, but we all know how some need angst to live ~~~

But years passed faster than the blink of an eye, and as the norm asked for, problems still surrounded everyone in the Palace, since it wouldn’t be the Imperial Court otherwise.

It was needless to say was still mourning not having her sisters around anymore, as one of them died, while the other remained paralysed in the Cold Palace, and as soon as her father came by to sell his Western products and found out the fate of his children, he blamed Y/N for being heartless and bringing dishonor to their family by being the complete opposite of what a woman should be.

And so...They weren’t so young anymore, but double the age from when they met, and Yin Zhen now became Emperor Yongzheng, and Y/N was his Empress, just as promised.

At first, he was loyal to his vow - No matter who he’d be forced to visit for the night, he’d still return to her and hold her in his arms until the light of morning creeped through the windows, waking them up, but time is a feeble enemy, and words are easily forgotten.

Daily, became Weekly, just like Weekly, became Monthly.

He would barely come by to visit, let alone spend the night with her, and meals together were as scarce as trustworthy people in the palace.

Every day, she was forced to wake up and get ready to welcome all the concubines who had to pay their respects to her, only to be mocked for not being the Emperor’s favourite anymore.

It wasn’t like she couldn’t complain too much to the Dowager, as she already tried to remind her Son multiple times not to forget and neglect his own Empress, his own wife and beloved for so many ages, and yet, it only worked for a little time, and so, realising how she was being problematic to everyone by complaining about her loneliness, only to get shut down and reminded that that is the fate of any woman...

A woman, more alone now than ever before.

She would often go out to the special places she shared with Yin Zhen, often lost in thought, as memories kept flooding her mind and damaging her heart, only to realise that no matter how much she’d try to keep herself busy, her mind would still fly over to him.

She would try to practice the flute and zither from dusk till dawn, and even to the latest hours in the night, only for him not to even remember she could play, and asking the younger, pretties concubines to play, at all banquets held.

She would practice all kinds of intricate dances, wearing the flowiest of dresses that looked like the river, only to hear that she should settle for clothing fit for her age, and see him dancing with other women in the light of the moon.

She would sew random brocades and threads in whatever piece of garment she could think of, only to then throw it in the fire in frustration, knowing he hasn’t worn anything she’s made for him lately.

She would practice calligraphy until the candles were almost burnt and her eyes were burning from the sleep depravation and straining, only to rip the books apart, noticing the tears, smudges and shakiness on the pages.

For a while, she refused to leave her palace completely, only to realise her thoughts were much darker when alone, so she would walk through the secluded gardens and weep on the now deserted swing from the Peach Garden.

No matter how much she tried, her poor maid, Shi Lian, could never make her happy again, for the only one who can mend a broken heart is the one who threw it to the ground in the first place, but he was too busy with others, and Shi Lian was so angry at the Emperor, pitying the poor woman, especially since she, herself, was married and with children.

But she was happy, and Y/N was at least happy for her good fortune. At least she, her only friend, deserves to be happy.

On one winter day, the Emperor held a banquet, declaring that a famous Zither player would entertain them, and as customs said, the Empress must, too, attend, but big was her shock when she recognised that beautiful and otherwise stoic man with silver hair, whose emotions coloured the worlds while playing the instrument, and she couldn’t help but cry when she heard ‘Autumn Moon over the Han Palace’ and ‘Plum-Blossoms in Three Movements’ , songs which reminded her of her younger self, and the time he started courting her, before she chose duty over happiness and entered the Palace.

What a foolish decision. Instead of living for herself, she always lived for others, which only caused her sorrow and misfortune. Maybe she deserves it, and this is her karma for being such an idiot.

After the banquet was ready, she went to talk to the musician alone, who clearly recognised her as soon as he first laid his eyes upon her still beautiful face.

“Not even time can destroy such beauty. My heart is happy seeing you again, Y/N. And I see you became the Empress.” JiKang spoke, his voice warmer now than with anyone else. “Time is cruel, for it destroys words and promises. I am an Empress over nothing but the ashes of my own heart and the disrespect I receive from everyone. You, however, seem to be thriving as usual. I can only guess how many places you’ve visited thus far, and how much you’ve learned over the years. I truly envy you.” she spoke with sorrow and helplessness. “Women are forced to choose duty over themselves. If you, however, wish to defy all laws, my offer still stands.” he spoke, taking her hands in his, rubbing them comfortingly. “If I could turn back time, I would give up everything, just to be with you. To be free. To have someone who wouldn’t lie to me for decades and then forget I exist. I only wished to learn, love, and be happy...But I suppose I was too greedy to even dare wish for good fortune on myself. Which is why, I cannot leave without first talking to the Emperor. If I leave without another word, he would hunt me down, and kill you, above all else, and that is not something that I would ever wish for. I will tell him to fake my death and get another Empress. If he accepts, I will come with you. If not...Then...” she trailed on, sighing, without having the strength to utter those dreaded words. “Then, I will return to you another time and play songs, to mend your heart.” the Zither player promised, only for a brief silence to take over, as her green eyes, once full of life, like the evergreen forest, were as dead as the ashes of a pine tree. “...There will be no next time.” her sentence was coded, but him, as an emotional person, was the one who understood her the best. “Then I shall create a score and play the ‘Requiem for God’s Caged Bird’ and ‘The Lovely Fox Spirit and The Wavering Dragon’ in your honour, wherever I go.” was his last promise to her, as he watched her small form become no more in front of his very eyes.

And it was true, he never saw her, for the discussion between the Emperor and the Empress went as bad as it could get, even going as far as to strike her face, which reminded her of yet another promise that he broke. It should be all of them, by now, she thought, as she looked at him with an exhausted expression.

“You promised me so many things, and in the end, you broke all of them. Thank you, my darling Yin Zhen, for reminding me that I’ve been nothing more than your caged song bird that you forgot and threw in another room, in cold and darkness, to slowly starve and die in agony. The least you could have done was to fake my death and let me be happy, for the few years that I had left on this world. But, of course, nobody from your collection can escape, can they? Next time, I would suggest Zhen Huan, she is a lovely girl, and you love her the most, and in turn, she truly loves you. Just...Make sure not to treat her the same way you did with me...Goodbye, my beloved Yin Zhen. I truly loved you...And I still do.” she spoke...And then she left, not giving him the chance to say another word.

But that all happened during day light, as the next night, the true banquet would take place, to celebrate New Year’s Day, and JiKang would play once again. And she wasn’t there, just as he’d expected. And he played more beautifully, more emotionally, than he ever did in his entire life, showing how much he cherished her, and how angry and frustrated he is with the Emperor took her away from him, mistreated her, constantly lying and breaking her heart.

“Shi Lian, my dear, why are you still here? You should be with your family, not with some old, pitiful woman like myself.” Y/N spoke from her writing table as she finished a note, putting her seal over it, and folding it so its contents won’t be seen. “Your Majesty, don’t be silly! I am your maid, I will always be here for you!” she chuckled brightly, which made the Empress give her a sad smile, her heart hurting as if impaled, once again. “Well...I won’t be going to the Banquet tonight, that much is clear. I can hear the beautiful music from over here. Here, take this. Give it to the Emperor’s Head eunuch as fast as possible, and tell him to give it to the Emperor when he wakes up in the morning, otherwise, nobody is allowed to read it, okay?” she said, wiping a few tears. “Yes, Your Majesty, I will hurry there right now!” the maid said, but before she left, the Empress rose to her feet, pulling her into an embrace. “Thank you, Shi Lian. You have been my only friend all this time. Thank you for everything. Now, please, after you’re done with this task, go stay with your family. I will have an early night...I am extremely tired.” she stroked her hair, almost in a motherly way, which confused the maid, but nonetheless, smiled at her master. “No, Master, thank you for being the amazing woman that you are. It’s an honour being by your side!” she bowed slightly, before rushing to the door. “Sweet dreams, Y/N Niangniang!” Shi Lian grinned cheerfully before taking off to the palace. “...I’m sure I will.” Y/N sighed, taking a bag and going to the Plum Garden, wearing nothing but her pyjamas.

She sat down on the soft grass, ignoring the cold that was paralysing her senses, and she took out the bottle of red wine, pouring herself a cup, before letting it spill on the ground. Then, she took a sachet, pouring its powdery contents into the bottle, and started rapidly gulping it down, letting the burning sensation in her throat be the only warm part in her body. When the bottle was finally empty, she put it back in the bag, taking out a beautifully engraved vertical jade flute, that Yin Zhen gifted her after winning the competition where he played the zither, against the Princess of Western Liang, and so, she let all her emotions flow and be scattered all over China, through the wind, propelled by the sound of the instrument, all while the snowflakes were beautifully dancing around her, creating different accessories embellished with ice, that would set down on her, making her look like a Snow Empress.

If it weren’t for the tragic truth, she would look almost ethereal - With her white face, and white nightgown, the white decor, the green eyes and flute...The red hair, the red wine, the red plum blossoms...And the red blood.

She played and wept until she couldn’t feel her fingers anymore, not her frozen lips, as the flute fell from her hands and she let herself sit back on the bed of snow, looking up at the sky, just as she did, over 20 years ago.

Her death was tragically beautiful, just as she said back then.

“I should just go end myself with some wine, out in the Plum Garden. It would be a very fitting end with no pain. Very beautiful...Maybe some music would have made it perfect.” that’s what she said, long ago, and remembering her own words, she let darkness take over her, greeting it with a smile on her face - A smile, after decades of weeping.

A true smile.

The next morning, the Emperor woke up, with the beautiful Zhen Huan by his side, and his Head Eunuch waiting for him for any command.

“Your Majesty, the Empress’ maid came by yesterday, saying that Her Majesty instructed her that you should be reading this now, in the morning, as you’ve waken up. She said she doesn’t know what it contains, as Her Majesty was secretive, but she said Her Majesty was behaving a bit...Odd.” the Eunuch explained the situation, as the Emperor, nodded with a grunt of approval, taking and unfolding the scroll that was neatly written in her beautiful calligraphy.

My Darling Yin Zhen,

To think that this is what time had in store for us...It’s almost pitiful to think that we would grow apart like this, considering how close we used to be at the beginning, when you were still a Prince, and we didn’t have any real worries on our shoulders.

Now, here we are, the same way we promised we would never become - Enstranged.

I missed you so much, every day and every night - I would always look at you, and see you, yet you never spared a glance my way anymore.

Saying that I used to be jealous is an understatement, I warned you of that before I even accepted to be with you, yet I never imagined that this would become beyond that, and that I would die of a broken heart, for my missing beloved.

Every day, I would count the promises and vows you made for me, and every day, I would cross them, one by one, and crush a flower in my hands, for every broken one, until there was nothing left.

You promised you would love me, and only me, but as soon as the Palace became flooded with gorgeous concubines, all yours to take, your heart forgot me, and it split all its love to all the women that you shared your bed with, and so, I crushed a Lotus flower.

Your promised you would always hold me in your arms at night, no matter of the woman you’d have to do your Imperial Duty with, and yet, it didn’t take long for you to remember that my bed was made for the both of us, and so, I crushed a Cherry blossom.

You promised you will always tease me, flick my forehead and pinch my cheeks, then kiss them, only for you to cast cold eyes at me whenever I spoke or did something silly, letting the Consort or Dowager deal with me, while you would play and to the same things you used to do with me, with other women, and so, I crushed a Plum blossom.

You used to compliment me on all my small achievements, no matter how silly or insignificant they were, but now, you gave away all the clothes I sew you, all the snacks, cakes and tea I would make you, and all the accessories I would spend days and night to make, and so, I crushed a Begonia flower.

You used to point out how my eyes were sparkling with life and joy whenever I was around you, and how all colours looked amazing on me, you said I was the Empress of Flowers, and yet, ever since you became Emperor, only dark eyes sparkle with happiness around you, and you said I should wear clothes for my age and stop fooling around, and so, I crushed a Peony.

You used to always accompany me whenever I played music, we even beat the Princess of Western Liang together, I with the flute, that you later gifted me, and you with the zither, and after that, you even gifted me that amazing Liang hair ornament...Only for you to forget that I can play musical instruments too, and only let the younger girls perform for you, and so, I crushed a Chrysanthemum.

You used to kiss me with so much love and passion, warming up and mending by broken, frozen heart, as you promised nothing in this life would ever hurt me again, and I would never be alone, and yet, you are the one who completely crushed me, forgetting about me, as if I was some ugly, ragged old doll, thrown away and forgotten by time and life, and so, I crushed a Camellia.

You used to be my confidante, my best and only friend, we trusted each other with all our secrets and gossips, and only each other, and yet, you completely stopped talking to me, making other confidantes now, and here I am, having no one but my maid to talk with, as my last living sister hates me eternally, and rightfully so, and so, I crushed a Narcissus.

You used to take me out at midnight and dance under the veil of stars, under the healing, guarding, loving light of Mother Moon, and we would confess our undying love for each other, and yet, nothing is eternal, and your love for me extinguished like the fire from a candle, and reignited on many other candles, and so, I crushed an Azalea.

But most importantly...

You promised that, no matter what, our hearts will always belong to each other, and nobody else - I kept my end of the promise, but you broke it as soon as you took the throne, and I watched you run further and further away from me, while I was wilting away, exhausted, starving, alone...And so...I crushed a thorny Rose...And let the blood spill on the pure snow...The same pure snow that was my life and innocence which you tainted with your negligence and lies.

The least you could have done was to let me live, at least for now, but it is as you once said - ‘Don’t look at other men, don’t leave me. You are mine, and you can only be mine’ - such an innocent phrase, that only applied to you, not to me, as I had to share you with countless women, yet you didn’t even let me tug on the last string of hope that coincidentally found itself in front of me.

It was a mirage, just like the happiness you promised me, and no matter how much I tried to run, the image became further and further distant, until my legs gave up, and I began crawling...And crawling...Until it disappeared completely, and I lay grieving on the deserted snow, warmer than your own ice-cold heart.

I should have chosen happiness over duty - I should have eloped with JiKang back then, before I chose to honour everyone and come into the Palace, but that was my biggest mistake, and my greatest downfall - I met you, and as soon as I looked into your eyes, I was trapped.

I was truly nothing more than your caged songbird, and once you got tired of my song, you threw away the key, and my cage in some forgotten chamber, scary, away from any form of life, darker and colder than anything, even Hell.

But it’s fine.

In the end, if it wasn’t true for you, it was true for me, and on my last seconds alive, as I lay on the blanket of snow, just as I told you back then, listening to my own Requiem being played at the Banquet, I count the falling snowflakes, and with each of them, I would think of a beautiful moment that we shared together, and my heart, despite being shattered, smiled, after ages of forgetting how to.

I am happy, at least now, as I lay dying, knowing that I will finally see my beloved Yin Zhen again, as you took him away from me - You, Emperor Yongzheng, destroyed the love between me, Y/N, a simple physician, and Yin Zhen, the 4th Prince, who truly loved me with all of his heart, and I, in turn, loved him with every fiber of my very being.

I blame you, Emperor Yongzheng, for taking my beloved away from me, and taking my youth and heart and locking them in a cell, but at least now, I know that I can be happy, with him, my beautiful, sweet, lovely Yin Zhen, my husband, best friend and confidante.

The only person who was ever by my side all this time has been my maid, Shi Lian - And as a thank you, I want to promote her to Lady Yongqing, and all my riches go to her - I wish you only the best, and I hope, my dear Shi Lian, that you will be happy for me as well.

In the end, I was never Wu Zetian, or Hua Mulan, nor Diaochan or Yang Gufei - I was just Y/N, a pitiful Physician, a pitiful Empress, and, above all, a sad woman, trapped in a hopeless world of sorrow.

Goodbye.

Y/N, the Female Imperial Physician.

Reading that, the Emperor didn’t realise that tears were escaping from his eyes, as he rushed out of the room, making his way to the Plum Garden, only to find the woman he loved with all his being dead, covered by snow, her skin paler than ice itself, and a red stain where her head was - Wine, replicating the incident many years ago. Next to her, lay the flute he gifted her long ago, and he realised that she was playing her sorrows until the very end. He discovered the wine bottle and poison sachet in the bag, the very bag that she used to steal the incriminatory objects from the consort long ago, and on the snow, he saw a phrase written, one so ironic, yet painful beyond belief.

“A Zhang of Redness”

In the end, she was right - It all began and ended with A Zhang of Redness.

He was, once again, Yin Zhen, the man hopelessly in love, and hopelessly crushed, as he held her in his arms and wept, the salty droplets of water falling down her face in rivers, and in that moment, he couldn’t help but have flashbacks from his youth, all of them, with her by his side.

He truly was the worst, being capable of neglecting the one person he held in higher esteem than Buddha himself, and yet, he let this happen.

How could he let this happen? Why did he do something like this? Did the title of Emperor really get to his head like that? Did he truly forget who he was all this time? Was he, maybe, the one trapped in a false world, away from any exits or escapes?

He didn’t know, and yet, one thing was sure - Y/N was dead, and there was no bringing her back.

At her funeral, he invited JiKang to play, and the Emperor could feel the musician’s own heart throbbing in sorrow, as he looked at her with empty eyes, and yet, the pity and anger he felt was obvious from the way he played.

As night came, and they all lit lanterns to float into the skies, and put candles on lotus flowers, to light up her way to a better, more beautiful world, the two men remained alone, only sadness linking them.

“What were the songs that you played?” the Emperor asked in a low voice. “Songs that I promised I would play in her honour, the last time we talked. I knew what she was going to do, and yet, knowing that she killed herself when I played for her - And more - that she, herself, played, makes my heart ache even more. ‘Requiem for God’s Caged Bird’ and ‘The Lovely Fox Spirit and The Wavering Dragon’ were the name of the songs.” the musician replied with a certain harsh coldness that resembled a blizzard. “I see...Very fitting indeed.” he grunted in approval hearing his statement. “You are the cruelest man alive. Instead of taking care of her, you let her die. You didn’t even give her a second chance of living. You were desperate to possess everything and everyone. To have everything under your control. So much that you don’t even notice, nor care, that the most beautiful flower wilted in your very own hands. You should be ashamed of yourself, to even call yourself an Emperor. You never deserved her, that much, is clear to me.” JiKang glared at the Emperor, not caring for any kind of repercussion. “You are correct. I never deserved her. I loved her more than anything in this world, and yet, I destroyed everything for her, and now, she is no more. She shares the same fate as all the Four Beauties of China - A most tragic end, for all of them. And the worst is that she needed to die in order for me to wake up, and now, I can’t even make it up to her. Honouring her after death means nothing, if I didn’t while she was alive. It changes nothing.” the Emperor sighed deeply, looking at the stars, the ones she loved so much, and would count together from the top of the flowery hill. “That star right there - It used to be our star. Whenever we’d go to the hill together, we’d search for it. It was our guardian star. It was the brightest, and most beautiful. And now, it seems to be be even brighter...Just like that tale of the Rabbit Moon Goddess.” “...At least bother remembering her after death, if you couldn’t do it while she was alive.” the musician left the Emperor to his own thoughts. “I am sorry, my darling Y/N. I love you. Forever. Endlessly. Only you.” the Emperor muttered, staring at the star, allowing himself to mourn properly now, away from anyone’s eyes.

The Palace of Blue Lotus became her shrine, filled with flowers and beautifully written poems, and guarding it, a statue of her, and a statue of a nine tailed fox, a Huli jing, were standing there, letting offerings of flower crowns, jewelleries, jades and trinkets be placed around and all over them, to honour her kind, beautiful heart, as it should have happened while she was alive.

As promised, the Emperor promoted Shi Lian, but to the title of Lady Shuyu, just like Y/N once was, and offered her a huge allowance, almost the size of an Empress, hoping that it would make Y/N happy beyond life...Yet seeing the maid grieving, her face pink and puffy, no longer cheerful, hurt him beyond belief, as he was reminded of the sins he committed.

And so, once again, he had to pink new concubines for his unfortunate Harem, along with his new Empress, Zhen Huan, just as Y/N said...And there she was, a beautiful young woman, full of life and hope, obviously not wanting to become a slave to him, so he interrogated him, just as he did with Y/N, long ago. This time, his brother, Duke Guo, a free soul seeking his soulmate, was by his side.

The Emperor ordered for a zither to be brought forth for the woman to play, and as soon as she did, his brother joined in, accompanying her in perfect sync, and just as it happened to him long ago, their eyes were trapping each other in a beautiful enchantment of love and bashfulness.

Please, Gods, let them be what I and Y/N couldn’t be, Yin Zhen begged in his heart, watching those two shyly exchanging looks.

“I know you never wanted to serve me as a concubine. You very much resemble my wife, the late Empress Y/N. If you were to join the harem, your heart will be destroyed. That is why...If you would want to, I will allow you to marry any man you fall in love with, even if it is my own brother, Duke Guo. He always preached about wanting to find the his soulmate, and you two look at each other the same way I and Y/N would, long ago. Don’t waste this love on stupid things, like I did. Cherish it, and keep your promises to each other. You never know when life snatches away your happiness, leaving only emptiness and sorrow behind.” Yin Zhen looked at them, his heart conflicted, feeling both happiness and sadness, as the man and woman in front of him appeared to be just another version of himself and Y/N.

He couldn’t see the girl, nor his brother.

He could only see a beautiful red haired woman with green eyes, flowers in her long, cascading hair, and her gorgeous green gown, looking like a Fox Spirit, or a Lotus...And a man, gazing at her lovingly, wearing vibrant gold, his expression soft, despite the deep, dark eyes, that now held love, warmth and tenderness in them.

It wasn’t some random girl and some random boy.

It was Y/N and Yin Zhen.

And then he wept once again for their lost love.

#legend of the phoenix #legend of the phoenix imagine #legend of the phoenix x reader #yin zhen #yin zhen x reader #yin zhen imagine #yin zhi #emperor kangxi #emperor yongzeng #empress #noble consort #a zhang of redness #angst #legend of the phoenix yin zhen #legend of the phoenix yin zhen x reader #legend of the phoenix yin zhen imagine

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gilthairpins · 2 years

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Book 1 Chapter 10: Hu Bugui, Why?

After returning to Beijing, there were many eyes and mutterings, dark and turbulent. There were many ministers who approached Kangxi, with sincerity or not, to ask him to take back his order. When Kangxi read Zheshou, he always kept silent and no one could understand his thoughts.

Although I cannot tell what he is thinking, I know in the end he will reestablish the crown prince in the end. So I watch those devastated ministers with a sense of superiority. It could be said of the people serving Kangxi (minus myself and Li Dequan) they are more or less at a loss. They didn’t know who was allied with which elder brother or whom they may have offended or befriended.

I am confident because I know the outcome, but I do quite admire Li Dequan, that thousand year old fox. The world has long since been clear. Occasionally we would exchange glances and I thought he seemed to appreciate me very much. After all, I have another universe.

People panic, it’s already November.

One day, while I am counting and recording tea leaves in the side hall. Wangxi came in and motioned, “Sister, Third is here.”

Still holding the tea, I approch Third’s table to put the tea on it. When I exited I heard Third say, “I have something important to report to Royal Father regarding Second.”

I suddenly understood why he came. He was going to report all of Second’s inappropriate behaviors.

Fourteenth used Lama Bahangelong’s magic to control Yinfeng. Why do I always find out at the end of the day? After everything is said and done even I really didn’t know.

Back in Tongling Hall, even though I am waiting for the crown prince to be restored, I couldn’t help but worry about Eighth and the rest of the brothers. I hadn’t seen them since we had returned from beyond the Wall, and I don’t know what they have been doing since returning. After considering, I could only sigh because no matter what their danger doesn’t appear until after Fourth ascends the throne.

Once Third had left, Kangxi immediately sent someone to Yinfeng’s residence to search and found the treasure of Yansheng. Kangxi was furious and immediately had Yinfeng imprisoned within the high walls of the manor and strictly guarded. But he didn’t deal with the prince, only imprisoning him in the upper courtyard. Memorial after memorial came, requesting the restoration of the crown prince’s status.

These past few days, I couldn’t help but think of Yinti [Fourteenth]. I had read about this period of history and I had my doubts. Is this really what he did? He would really use such ridiculous means to seek the throne? And all in all, I still had no answer.

It’s absurd to attribute the crown prince’s actions to the elder brother’s curse, in my opinion. In fact, since the failed rebellion of Suo’etu, Yinfeng has been out of sorts, and his strange behavior was not too difficult to understand. But this is how it happened, and Kangxi, on the surface, seemed to believe it.

As for his belief, it’s another emotional compromise. On one hand- exonerate Yinfeng, on the other- punish elder brother [unclear who] for the misdeeds he had done to the crown prince. Or if the ancients really believed in these things, I do not know. I just thought from now until his death in the 12th year of Yongzheng’s reign, he would be imprisoned for 26 years! The first person to be imprisoned appeared, then the crown prince, and then Thirteenth, then Eighth, Ninth, and Tenth, and finally Fourteenth…

I shouted to myself to stop. I couldn’t think about it anymore. I can’t think about it anymore.

One day after reading memorials, Kangxi was pondering for a long time and said to Li Dequan, “Let Li Guangdi see you.”

This is not the first time I have met this important minister of the Kangxi Dynasty, Kang Xiong, the hero who pacified Taiwan. Kangxi has met him alone before, but why now, at this delicate time, did he seek him out? However, I’m not serving at the temple now, so I have no chance to find out.

While drinking tea after dinner with Yutan, we were still thinking about why Kangxi had summoned Li Guangdi. Yutan was on duty today in the hall and I could have asked her. However, because it is concerning the emperor and his courtiers it is forbidden to discuss their private conversations. I don’t want to make things difficult for Yutan. The other reason, although I am curious, I don’t want to learn too much. So I figure it out on my own. While pondering secretly, Yutan walked and looked out of the door. She then went around the room opening windows and raising the curtains suddenly bringing the scenery into view. I sat quietly, drinking tea and watching her move.

After settling everything, she sat back down besides me, sipping her tea casually. She lowered her head and said, “Today the emperor and Master Li discussed the establishment of a crown prince.” I nodded to her, indicating to continue.

“Master Li elected Eighth.”

My hand shook as she finished, splashing tea on me. I quickly put the cup down and grabbed a cloth to clean up. Yutan took the cloth from me and cleaned up my mess. I tried to relax and chat with her casually. What pattern looks best on a handkerchief, what pattern looks vulgar, who in the palace draws the best designs, who embroiders the best…

In the evening after we retired, I couldn’t sleep at all. I felt my heart being tugged the whole time. When I got up early the next day, I saw my face was pale. I couldn’t help but smearing some rouge on my face.

I had been standing in the hall, on duty, in a daze. Li Dequan had stared at me a few times before I could pull myself together.

Kangxi had been sitting in silence, mediating since the morning. The tea I bring in is always hot. I change and replace it periodically, this doesn’t change. Only Li Dequan and I are serving in the hall, and I saw him standing expressionless just behind the emperor.

A little eunuch from the outer hall came in and said, “Second Master has arrived and waiting waiting outside the hall.

“Show him in.” The emperor said lightly.

When Yinfeng came in, he immediately faced Kangxi silently. The crown prince had obviously lost a lot of weight after more than two months imprisonment. He was very pale and his expression was stiff and restless.

After a while, Kangxi got up and said, “Come with me.” He walked into the Nuan Pavilion with Yinfeng quickly following after. Li Dequan motioned for me to close the door. He whispered to me, “I’ll find a way to persuade his majesty to eat something later.” And he entered the inner room.

I stood quietly outside. I looked over at the dragon chair that Kangxi had just been sitting in, my thoughts spinning. Is it worth it? Maybe it was worth it. Didn’t I work hard to be promoted to manager? Various titles, examinations, interpersonal relationships, etc… all exhausted my brain. Although there is a difference, doesn’t it all just come down to profit? It’s just that the benefit in front of me is so huge. It’s possible to pay a huge price, so maybe I shouldn’t question them. How many people would be lured by fame and fortune? Then again, if you jump out, what do you do with your spare time? We can’t all be monks or hermits. If everyone becomes a monk or hermit, and no one becomes a layman then who will support them?

My thoughts raced wildly when I suddenly heard Yinfeng’s crying. I tried to listened carefully, but the voice inside was deep and I couldn’t hear clearly. So I didn’t pay attention to it. I figured that Kangxi had softened his heart again and now it’s just time.

After a long time, the crown prince came out. I quickly opened the door for him and bowed to send him off. Someone outside took him back to his manor, still imprisoned. I quickly ordered Yutan, who was guarding outside, to prepare hot tea and snacks with careful instructions.

I walked into the back room with the tea and snacks and found Kangxi standing by a window. I glanced at Li Dequan who nodded to me and I placed them on a small table on a couch.

I bowed and approached Kangxi. “Your majesty, today’s incense were specially made from lotus pistils from the lotus that you had admired over the summer, ground into powder. Try it.”

Kangxi didn’t speak, but approached the table. Li Dequan quickly tested the snacks before placing the dish in front of him.

Kangxi at one and sipped his tea. He asked, “What is added to the tea that makes it taste both sweet and bitter?”

I quickly knelt down, but Li Dequan had answered before I could. “Ruoxi made fragrant tea for the emperor and this servant asked why she used the leaves she chose. She replied that the emperor was coughing occasionally and felt a bit warm. Because this was a minor ailment, the emperor doesn’t pay attention to this. It’s better to make tea with processed ginkgo leaves. It’s simple and effective. This slave asked an imperial doctor who looked into this and said it was okay. So we brewed it together.” Kangxi glanced at me and nodded, continuing to eat.

Although Kangxi had summoned Yinfeng alone, there were no further movements. Yinfeng was still imprisoned, and the civil and military officials were still in fear. It was really hard to figure out what Kangxi was thinking. The struggle amongst the various factions has picked up and become more intense. Some tried to protect the crown prince, while others counted his misdeeds. They were disturbing with their black and red faces, calling on the service bureau.

The attitudes of the brothers were also very different. After returning from beyond the Great Wall, Thirteenth’s visits decreased sharply. I basically hadn’t seen him much. Fourth simply said he was sick and stayed behind closed doors. Eighth never showed up to Qianqing Palace. Ninth and Fourteenth could occasionally see each other but they always come and go in a hurry. There were too many people and not a chance to speak.

Kangxi has been watching all this coldly, without saying a word. Sometimes he would chat with me during his breaks about tea. Where there is good water, what kind of tea has the most artistic name, and who wrote the most appropriate poem about tea. He looked relaxed and Li Dequan and I waited leisurely. Nothing seems to have happened.

I admired Kangxi while I watched all of this quietly. Although he was suffering in his heart, he showed no sign on his face. And he was able to see everyone’s reactions without making a fuss.

In this way the eyes wander to New Year’s Eve. The deposed prince Yinfeng was still imprisoned and elder brother [unclear which one] was imprisoned without any proposal. Everyone in court was thinking of the undecided crown prince position. So this New Year’s banquet was festive, only on the surface. There were many unconcealed ups and downs in the dark.

I don’t want to see this whitewashed joy, but I happen to be on duty in the palace. So when Yutan offered to switch shifts, I refused, telling her to rest and have fun.

Quietly guarding the candles and incense in the hall, ushered in the 48th year of Kangxi.

In the early morning as the sky was getting bright, I sat at quietly at the table and stared out the window. It was the first day of the new year. Yutan passed by the window and saw me in a daze and asked, “Sister was on duty all night, won’t you go to bed now?” I came back to my senses and said with a smile, “Going to bed now.” I closed the window. Yutan smiled and walked out of the courtyard.

I was still sitting at the table feeling the sunlight getting stronger and the light getting brighter in the hall. But my heart became heavier. I lay on the table and thought, why? Why hasn’t he come yet? Did he forget this year? Or was there something else that’s delayed? Or won’t there be in the future?

From morning to noon, until the little eunuch came to deliver lunch, still no one came. I didn’t even bother to look at it, I had no appetite. I put aside the meal box, walked to the bed and lay down with my shoes still on. I didn’t even move the quilt. I had always thought my heart was prepared. That I would calmly accept that he would let go at any time, that he may fade away from my life at any moment. After all, how much patience could a man have for a woman? But it turned out just when I thought things came to an end I couldn’t stay calm. It turned out that I would be lost, sad, and painful.

Just as my heart was becoming numb, there was a knock on the door. I quickly rushed over the few steps, but was taken aback. Standing in front was a little eunuch whom I didn’t know. He looked at me with suspicion and greeted me and then smiled apologetically. “Slave Xiao Shunzi, I don’t normally walk around Qianqing Palace so sister looked strange.”

I watched him silently. He turned around looking before taking out a small red silk package from a pocket and handed it to me. Although the package puzzled me, I reached out to take it. Once he saw me take it, a huge smile lit up his face and he ran off quickly.

I quickly closed the door and opened the packet once I had calmed down. It contained a necklace. Examining it closely, there were several thin strands of silver entwined and intertwined- as if washed with water, undulating and flowing. The pendant on the chain seemed to be a carefully carved flower, a crystal clear suet magnolia.

The shrunken real flower has a pure and distant fragrance when being touched to the nose.

A sudden shock flashed through me as I realized it wasn’t from ‘him’ [pretty sure she means Eighth], but from ‘he’! The white magnolia felt cool to my hand reminding me of that person’s lips. There was a sudden cold rushing from my hand to the bottom of my heart. I quickly tossed the necklace with a clatter to the table where it landed on the silk it came from.

The bright red of the silk was a background to the silver river of the chain, and the bright white magnolia floated along those waves. I stared blankly at it, only hearing the sounds of my breaths in my ears. My face and hands had gone numb, but my heart was hot. I suddenly jumped up from my seat and gathered this things and stuffed them to the bottom of a box.

There were three letters also at the bottom of the box, and I couldn’t help but run my fingers over them. After a long moment of silence, I couldn’t hold back anymore and took them out. I placed them on the table, staring at them silently. The contents had long been memorized and the ink-colored handwriting deeply imprinted in my mind. With the long nights of loneliness and depression in the palace during the day, I had spent countless nights chanting them to myself.

An ugly smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “There will be no more in the future.” I took one of the letters from the bottom, took a deep breath, and opened the letter.

The cicada of the east gate is recommended by Ru, His room is near and his people are far away, In the chestnut of the east gate there is a family of Jun, Don’t you think? If you don’t, you will

This was received in the early morning of the first day of the 44th year of Kangxi’s reign.

Going out of the east gate, there are women like clouds, Although it is like a cloud, I think about it, Weaving clothes and towels, chat with me, Out of this period, there are women like tea, Although it is like tea, I think about it, Onyx clothes Ru recommended chat and entertainment

I was engrossed in reading these letters when there was a knock at the door. I quickly gathered up the letters.

Looking around, I asked who it was and hid the letters under my quilt. A voice from outside replied, “Miss, slaves will be together.” I felt like I had knocked a bottle of five flavors over in my heart. Sadness, joy, bitterness, and shock were all mixed together and warred within me.

Fang He waited a while, but seeing no movement, knocked again calling to me. “Miss?” I shook myself awake and hurried to the door and looked at Fang He. I couldn’t hold back, “Why has this year come so late?”

He apologized in a low voice. “Eighth master specifically said you were on duty last night and didn’t want us to come and disturb your rest early in the morning.”

I had all sorts of emotions stirred up and I couldn’t laugh, I couldn’t spit out the stick in my chest. I was frozen in my spot. Fang He glanced around before handing me a letter, smiled and backed away.

I closed the door with the letter in my hands and sat down. I didn’t move for a long time. Finally I opened the envelope slowly. It was still the first class lily scented paper with tint lowercase script that contained strength in its gentleness.

Declining, declining! Hu Bugui? For the sake of the humble gentleman, Hu was almost exposed! Declining, declining! Hu Bugui? This humble gentleman’s bow, Hu is in the mud!

I couldn’t help but clutch my chest. There was as sharp pain like a knife touching my heart. I lay on the table, my mind turbulent waves- a thousand thoughts surging in my chest but no where to go. I asked myself repeatedly in my mind, “Hu Bugui? Why? Hu Bugui? Why….?

Several plum blossoms were in full bloom not long after the Spring Festival. Standing under the trees with you eyes closed, the floating fragrance becomes more intense. I couldn’t help but think ‘When is Kangxi going to restore the crown prince?’ It had been more than two months. I tried to recall but I couldn’t remember the specific date. I only remembered it was at the beginning of this year. Even now I am impatient, and those who do not know at all are even more distressed.

The days are like years. As I was thinking to myself, Tenth’s voice sounded right next to my ear. “You’re in a daze again.”

I smiled and opened my eyes and turned to see not only Tenth, but Ninth, Fourteenth and Eighth. Eighth who has not been seen since the return from beyond the Great Wall, was standing behind them. I quickly bowed down expressing my respects and got up with my head bowed, no longer having the courage to lift my head.

Ninth glanced around and saw that no one was around. He stared at me and said, “Today I have something to ask you.”

I looked at him in bewilderment. He rarely spoke to me and I had no idea what he was going to ask. “Please ask, Ninth.” I said respectfully. The others startled, but Eighth frown immediately watching Ninth. Tenth stared at Ninth blankly, and Fourteenth stared at me with clear eyes.

“What did Royal Father say to Second brother while they were alone?”

I then realized what the matter was. “Oh” Li Dequan and I were the only ones serving in the room at that time. No matter who they had placed next to Kangxi they would not have known the whole conversation, unless they could pry Li Dequan’s mouth open, which would have had the same difficulty as trying to pick the moon.

I was about to tell them I was guarding outside and wouldn’t have been able to hear anything clearly, but Eighth said, “Ruoxi go back first.”

Fourteenth interrupted before I could respond, “Ask her? What’s the point? As long as she and Li Dequan know that this matter falls on her, no one else can answer.”

Eighth looked at Fourteenth and said, “The people who serve in the courts cannot pass along private information between emperor and courtiers. Have you ever thought about what would happen if secret conversations were found out?”

Fourteenth checked for a moment, glance at me, and turned his attention to the plum blossoms not speaking again. Tenth quickly said, “Then, Ruoxi, you should go do what you need to do!”

Ninth snorted coldly, “We are the only ones here, who would know? We wouldn’t tell. But she won’t say.”

Eighth stared coldly at Ninth, so I quickly cut in. “Although this servant was indeed on duty at the time, I was outside, guarding. The emperor and Second master were inside and this servant couldn’t hear clearly.”

Ninth sneered as soon as he hear me. “Eighth brother, take a good look! This is the person you worked so hard on, and I am Yang Yangxun…”

Eighth cut him off before he finished, “Ninth!” He slowly glanced around at his brothers before resting his gaze on Ninth. “No one is allowed to ask her anything about Royal Father.”

Ninth stared at him with a gloomy expression. Eighth stared back at Ninth, indifferent. Fourteenth stared at me coldly. Tenth shifted his gaze between Eighth and Ninth his mouth opening and closing with no sound.

In the end, Ninth returned his gaze to me, sneer still in place. He flung his sleeves and turned to leave. Fourteenth immediately followed. Tenth stared for a long moment and scratched his head and left as well.

Eighth smiled slightly as he glanced at me, and turned and walked away slowly. I stood frozen to the spot. They really didn’t believe that I didn’t hear anything that day! Watching Eighth fade into the distance, his posture even said he didn’t believe me!

Holding back tears, I turned to walk back, but stopped after a few steps. My heart was sore. The pain had caused me to pause my steps as I recalled his smile, sun warm and his rare laughter. After several long moments I heaved a sigh. That’s it! What have I done for him all these years? Turning around, I ran after them.

When they heard my steps they turned. Ninth kept his cold smile and continued his return. But Eighth, Fourteenth, and Tenth had stopped. I tried to catch my breath. As I opened my mouth to speak, Eighth cut me off. “I don’t want to hear you. Go back.”

I shook my head. “I just wanted to tell you, even if I wanted to help, I really didn’t hear anything.”

They all shared looks of doubts. I looked at Tenth and gave him a sideways smile. “You follow Ninth first and go back.”

He asked anxiously, “Why do you want to dismiss me?” He glanced over to Eighth who said gently, “Go back first.”

Tenth glared at me resentfully. I quickly tugged his sleeve and said gently, “It’s for your own good anyway.” He was unmoved and I tried to smile and tug his sleeve again. “Please don’t be angry. Okay? Okay?”

He was at a loss of what to do and tugged his sleeve from my hand roughly. “You don’t behave like a young miss at all!” And turned to leave.

I couldn’t help but shake my head and smile. He really wasn’t angry anymore. I turned my attention to Eighth and Fourteenth. Eighth’s face had already shifted from indifference to a smile and he nodded. But Fourteenth watched me and glanced back at Eighth and sighed heavily.

I glanced around a moment before saying softly, “The emperor loves the prince very much.” I smiled and asked, “Do you like the cowhide painting I brought for my sister from beyond the Great Wall? And the bead ornaments I got for Qiaohui and Dongyun, did they like them?”

Eighth smiled. “I liked them very much.”

“I know on New Year’s sister had entered the palace for the banquet, but I was on duty and we couldn’t see each other. We didn’t get a chance to speak and I hope that Eighth will bring my words to her.”

Eighth smiled and nodded as I bowed for his blessing. “This servant will retreat first.”

“Go.” He dismissed me gently. I turned and walked back.

These past few days I have felt uneasy, worried about what I had said. I wondered if it would slow down their attempts for position or would they use that to take measures against the crown prince. To reduce the affection the emperor had for him. There really was no answer to this. But I had my doubts. Was my sentence correct or not? Will things backfire? I was thinking these things as I walked back when I heard Thirteenth calling from behind me.

Fourth and Thirteenth who hadn’t seen each other in a very long time, ran into each other unexpectedly. Since I had last spoken to Thirteenth many thing have happened, and I hadn’t had the opportunity to face Fourth either. Standing in front of him, I felt strange. I couldn’t help but recall his cool lips against my cheek from that night on the grasslands. I was a bit embarrassed. After greeting them, I wanted to leave.

Thirteenth smiled and stopped me. “I haven’t seen you in so long, why are you behaving so strangely? You want to leave so fast.”

“But there are still many things to be done.” I said quickly.

Thirteenth shook his head still smiling, “Then you should go.”

“I have something to ask you.” Fourth asked before I could take a step.

I froze. Thirteenth chuckled at my discomfort and coughed. “Well… well. I still have something to do, so I will leave first.” He dodge my hand that reached for him. He shot me a smile and quickly walked away.

How will I explain this? How could I explain it to where he believed me? And how do I explain it so he won’t get angry? My heart was worried. My emotions were all over the place.

But he asked indifferently, “The day Royal Father spoke with Second, what did you say?”

Immediately my anxiety and thousand thoughts quieted. I just couldn’t tell what was going on in my heart for a while. My mind should be peaceful, instead I had a sense of loss. I couldn’t help but laugh at myself for being too pretentious.

After I calmed down, I replied indifferently, “At that time, this servant was guarding outside the room. The emperor and the prince were inside. This servant does not know what was said.”

He glanced around quickly and took two steps forward. I tried to retreat, but he followed me, step for step. I found myself clinging to a tree trunk with no further options for retreat. I could only stand close to him now and feel his breath.

“Were you with me that night?” He asked softly. I quickly shook my head. It’s fine if you don’t annoy me, but I dare not annoy you. I had caused him to misunderstand and I didn’t yet have heart.

His eyes searched mine. “I seem to have misunderstood what you meant at the time. I nodded quickly. It’s good to understand! He continued to stare and I smiled. Immediately I felt chills race along my body. Sure enough he continued, “But I don’t regret kissing you.” My heart beat wildly and I had to suppress the tension trying to figure out how to respond.

He pulled my collar and glanced down. His cold fingers brushing my skin, causing my body to riot. However, he acted naturally as if he and I should just take this moment for granted. I was so angry that my anger went straight to my head and I didn’t care that he would become Yongzheng in the future. I removed his hand forcefully. He didn’t care and followed my movements and stepped back, withdrawing his hand

“Why didn’t you wear it?” He asked flatly.

I immediately realized he was taking about the necklace and responded stiffly, “The next time Fourth master enters the palace, this servant will return it to him.”

He stared at me with his cold and mocking face. Once my temper flares, I don’t care about the consequences. I stared straight at him.

A smile appeared on his face suddenly, “Since it was accepted, there is no reason to return it.”

I wanted to explain I hadn’t know it was from him, that was a misunderstanding. But how could I explain this? Could I really tell him I thought it was a gift from Eighth? I shut my mouth again feeling extremely annoyed.

He saw my hesitation and said, “Although some things were initiated by you, it is up to you to end it.”

I just felt there was no where for me to vent my grievances and that I had to swallow my anger. So I glared at him. His smile twitched and disappeared as he said, “One day you will wear it willingly.”

Although his tone was calm, there was a force that absolutely no one could reverse. I was startled suddenly thinking, how can there be any reason to win if I fight him so hard? I need to think of other ways. I have been reading books for nothing for so many years, how come I didn’t understand the principles of using softness to overcome rigidity and four two thousand weight? As I thought about it my face gradually relaxed. He was quiet for a moment and the asked, “Although you couldn’t hear specifics, you couldn’t hear anything, right?”

I quickly withdrew my thoughts and looked at him. “No.” I said flatly.

He didn’t speak, just stood there, leisurely, staring at me with his hands behind his back. Any anxiety I had came flooding back.

I thought quickly. Li Dequan put me on duty that day. Didn’t he think I would have been asked about that day? The answer was obvious, he had definitely considered this and had left me outside on purpose. That way it wouldn’t matter. Second Li Dequan was a temptation to me at that time. If I was a little brother, I would have tried my best to listen in on this very important conversation between the emperor and the prince. But I had been stationed outside that day and hadn’t moved, thinking about other things. If I had deliberately tried to probe he would have noticed, that old fox, and then there would have been no possibility of me leaking news. I couldn’t help but feel afraid. If my curiosity had gotten the better of me, I’m afraid…

Now wasn’t the time to analyze Li Dequan. I focused on passing Fourth’s test of me. He had obviously made up his mind to learn a thing or two from me. If I say no, it’s not, no- he’s Fourth, future Yongzheng. Do I really want to quarrel with him on this matter? Wouldn’t my previous caution be in vain?

I turned the thoughts over in my head several times, finally looking up with a smile at Fourth. “At that time I could only hear Second’s faint crying from outside.” I then bowed to take my leave.

“Did you tell your brother in law the same thing?” He asked flatly.

I stiffened and then rose with a fresh smile. “Exactly.”

He stared at me, no warmth in his eyes. I kept my fresh smile on my face, kindness in my eyes. After a moment he dismissed me, “You can go.” I saluted and turned and walked out slowly.

When I entered the gate, Yutan saw me and asked, “Why is sister so happy today?” I was taken aback for a moment before realizing I had been smiling since I had come back. My expression collapsed as I came back to my senses. Yutan was startled, she didn’t know what she had said that had turned my mood upside down. I just nodded to her and went back into the house without thinking about it.

I just hoped Kangxi would reinstate the crown prince soon. I couldn’t take being asked repeatedly what had happened. Even Fourth who had held his breath couldn’t stay still, so one could image how the civil and military servants were handling this.

On one hand, they blamed elder brother [unclear which brother] for casting a spell to cause this perversion, on the other hand, Kangxi still kept Second imprisoned. The truth is, everyone is confused and directionless.

One afternoon, a few days later, I was flipping through pages of a book, when Wangxi came in very excited. He bowed quickly waiting for me. I put down my book. “If you have anything to say, please tell me.”

He ducked his head to collect his thoughts before looking at me, “His majesty went to court today. He was furious!”

I was startled. Certainly his majesty’s anger was important matter, but why come running to me? “For what?” I asked calmly.

He hesitated but glanced at me quickly to gauge my reaction. Seeing my clear gaze he continued, “His majesty was asked about the establishment of the crown prince, today at court. Ministers A Ling, E Lun Dai, Kui Xu, Wang Hongxu, and some others including Ninth, Tenth, and Fourteenth all came forward to protest and nominate Eighth as crown prince.”

I jumped up quickly. The emperor has always hated his sons making alliances amongst the ministers in private, lest that lead to partisan disputes that interrupt the court and he would empty it. There is absolutely no exception.

After a long pause I asked, “What did the emperor say?” He hesitated, “His majesty was angry and said…” he trailed off.

“Tell me the truth.”

He continued, “Because elder brother [unclear which brother] said before he was imprisoned that he would like to assist Eighth in the future, his majesty said that Eighth and elder brother had colluded with each other to protect each other and seek the crown prince position. He said Eighth had formed a faction in court and…” He cut off again.

I was so anxious I couldn’t help but shout, “Go on!”

He was shocked. Wangxi had never heard me speak so harshly before. He quickly continued, “Said Eighth is a rouge, has great ambitions and presumptuous, plotting against Yinfeng. Now that everything has been exposed, the prince will be cut off, he will be locked up and turned over to the Political Affairs Officer for trial.” He repeated Kangxi’s order in one breath.

My gaze went dark and my body numb. I sunk back into my chair nothing left in my head. And the phrase, ‘that’s the lock’ repeating in my ears. But I didn’t quite understand what it meant. It took a while to sink in and when it did, I was more heartbroken than ever. Such a handsome and elegant person was to actually be locked up.

Wangxi watched me in my frozen state, unresponsive. Tentatively he called out to me. “Sister? Sister!”

I forced myself to focus and asked weakly, “What happened next?”

“Several brothers pleaded for Eighth. Fourteenth had knelt down to his majesty saying ‘Eighth has no such intentions. The ministers awaiting death push for this.’” He imitated Fourteenth’s tone.

I nodded, signaling for him to continue.

“But his majesty hates Eighth and his ministers for colluding in private to seize the crown prince position, and was very angry at the time. Fourteenth refuted his majesty’s words and finally said he would not hesitate to die to protect Eighth. Knowing his will and in his anger, his majesty pulled a guard’s saber to kill Fourteenth.” I let out a small scream and Wangxi paused in fear.

It took a moment for me to calm down- nothing had happened. Fourteenth will survive, as he was still alive when Qianlong was enthroned. Glancing back at Wangxi, I said, “Go ahead.”

Wangxi continued, “At that time, Fifth rushed forward and hugged his majesty’s legs to persuade him to stop. The others were kowtowing and begging. And his majesty eased his anger a little.”

I sighed when he paused and said, “This is the end. Can there be anything worse? Speak up, stop hesitating.”

He quickly replied, “His majesty slapped Ninth once, and orders Fourteenth to be beaten forty stokes.”

I suddenly remembered Tenth and asked quickly, “Where was Tenth in all of this?” Fourteenth and others had all knelt to plead to Eighth, but only Fourteenth had disputed the emperor. Tenth had only knelt and kowtowed. So he had nothing to do. “His majesty reprimanded him and was dismissed to his manor to self reflect.”

I sat in silence for a while, unable to think. My head felt as heavy as a boulder. My heart felt like it was being pierced by a thousand needles, painful at first and then numb.

Wangxi waited next to me before sayin, “My master…”

It could only be Li Dequan’s intentions having Wangxi come here to tell me these things. “Does Li Wenda have any orders?”

“My master wants sister to have a good rest today. You will be on duty tomorrow. To miss this business.”

“Is that all?”

“That was all.”

After a long moment and then said seriously, “Go back and tell Li Wenda that Ruoxi will not thank him.”

Wangxi turned to leave but paused, “Good sister, although your older sister is the side Fujin of Eighth, you needn’t worry. His majesty values you and will no treat you poorly because of this.”

“Thank you.” I said gratefully. He then turned and left.

Sitting quietly, my heart was still racing, with no place to rest. I had to repeat to myself that it was okay, it’s just forty strikes. Eighth is fine, he is just locked up for the time being. But even thinking these things couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

I had to remind myself, I knew the end results just not the steps that got us there. As a result I have to go through so much pain. What else lies ahead? How much more do I not know? How many more things will happen before the crown prince can be reinstated? I have always been an ostrich, unwilling to think about what will happen more than ten years down the line. But it turns out there is pain in front of me.

I stood up several times, wanting to run out of the hall, wanting to run to him. But when I got to the door, I knew I could not see him. I was the one who couldn’t even exit the palace gates.

I can’t do anything, I can’t even think about it. I feel restless and sad. So I sit in my chair again.

Because my heart was immersed in darkness, I didn’t realize it was getting late. I didn’t feel anything. When Yutan came into the room, she thought there was no one there and turned on the lights. She found me sitting quietly in my chair, dazed.

“Have you had your meal, sister?” She stepped forward.

I shook myself from my thoughts. “Not yet, have you?”

“I haven’t yet either. Let’s go together later.” She replied. I nodded in agreement.

Yutan watched me until she couldn’t hold back. “My sister has always served the emperor wholeheartedly and treats everyone with kindness and generosity. The emperor values you very much and would not burden her with these things. Besides, they are his sons so they can stand to be punished in a moment of anger. When the emperor’s anger subsides in a few days it will be fine.”

I took her hand and shook it gently, not speaking. Although I had spent the last three years serving in the palace, my time and efforts were not in vain. Li Dequan had always been nice to me, and after today’s events, extremely caring. He was always hinting indirectly of Kangxi’s attitude towards me as a way to comfort me. And Wangxi and Yutan have always treated me well, although the words did not speak to my heart, they are warm nonetheless.

When I went on duty the next day I could feel the court ladies and eunuchs secretly staring at me. Some couldn’t hide their joy, some were full of inquiry, some were waiting for opportunities, some were slightly sympathetic, and some had calm faces but sharp eyes. All they saw was my calm expression and decent response with a slight smile to my face. More importantly, Li Dequan treated me as normal and all gazes eventually turned away.

I thought sarcastically to myself. It turns out, although my former style had something to do with my own hard work, but I couldn’t shake my previous relationship with Eighth. And now in court, even the crown prince cannot compare to Eighth.

On the bright side, Fourth and Thirteenth support the crown prince and are on his side, but Eighth has Ninth, Tenth, and Fourteenth on his side. Fifth has remained neutral, and not expressed his position. But he is Ninth’s brother and they share a mother and their relationship is good. As for Yinfeng, there are many ministers who are dissatisfied with the prince and many who support Eighth. I could not see any of yesterday’s anger on Kangxi’s face. And he was reviewing memorials and other official documents as usual. His expression was gentle if fatigued. I don’t have any special expression, but I do whatever I can, because fear of falling out of favor with Kangxi is so mentally draining.

Li Dequan saw I behaved as usual, neither humble nor overbearing.

“This is a rare person who really understands. At your age you can neither be flattered nor humiliated.” He said with appreciation.

I had nothing to say so I just replied, “Thank you for taking care of me.” What he didn’t realize was that I had put a lot of thought into Kangxi. It was all for other purposes, so why worry?

In the past few days, Ninth and Tenth had been quietly reflecting on their mistakes behind closed doors. And Fourteenth, who had difficulties moving, was recuperating in his manor. But I hadn’t seen the other elder brothers. I wanted to ask someone to inquire, but there was no one to ask. And with all eyes on me, I dare not act recklessly. If I made a mistake, the consequences of that would be unpredictable.

I had to suffer in silence, no expression to my face. Due to lack of appetite and heavy worry, I lost weight. At night I would be in a daze, wondering how my sister was doing. There was a sudden knock on the door, but it took me a long while to react. By the time I had slowly opened the door there was no one there. But there was a letter lying on the ground.

My heart skipped a couple beats as I quickly picked up the letter. I leaned against the door, took a deep breath and opened the letter. It was written by Fourteenth.

Be safe, don’t hang up.

Four flamboyant and Phoenix flavored characters filled the sheet, dripping ink through to the back of the paper. I pressed the letter tightly to my chest. Drawing on his strength from those words. I closed my eyes and tears slid down. My heart which hadn’t been realized for a few days, stabilized.

In the afternoon of the second day, I was arraigning tea sets in the side hall when Wangxi came in and slapped me saying solemnly “Today, his majesty has restored Second as crown prince. All the ministers congratulated his highness, he is very proud and prosperous.”

“This is really such a happy event.” I said lightly.

“The emperor was in a good mood to restore the crown prince. And he announced that the day after the crown prince is registered, he will proclaim Third, Fourth, and Fifth as princes. And Seventh, Ninth, Tenth, Elder brother, Twelfth, Thirteenth, and Fourteenth are Beizi. Eighth’s Bei’le canonization will be restored.

Finally the rain is over. The sky is clear! I let out a breath and smile sincerely. The stone that had been weighing down on my heart was removed. But on one hand, I felt I was also a son. Kangxi is really extraordinary.

For all his eccentricities, I cannot help but feel unworthy for the other brothers. However, such things happen, even in ordinary peoples homes. Let alone the emperor who had more than 40 children. Second was the only one personally raised by him after all. Can you just let go? More importantly, Eighth’s excessive influence on the court has aroused Kangxi’s taboo. So would he rather chose a prince he had personally raised, a power he could absolutely control.

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