#so of course my first thought upon gazing at my many potential screenshots was 'what about the one thats just his whole face'

[hballegro]

"A lot of very touching songs came outta that war..."

s2e5 "Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde"

previous piece

next piece

another piece for the pile. this one took ~25 hours, ish? i regretted it as soon as i picked it lol. still CSP, still gouache brush [my beloved] and various blenders. when i got to the rain poncho i had to bribe myself with sweets to do all the texturing, it was hell on earth and that alone took 6ish hours. i am most proud of the right [his left] eye lol i think i nailed that sucker

if anyone has recommendations for the next one, speak now; i am very bored over summer break waiting for college to begin and this damn show is swallowing up my life, so might as well lol

and like last time, heres some WIP snapshots [with numbers this time] to show what order they came in

put off that ear for 12 years and then nailed it first try, c'est la vie

[thetwoplayergays]

During quarantine, my dad and I have been taking long drives and visiting some of the nearby forest-y places, how do the RFA and MC spend their time together?

Speaking of, I hope everyone out there is having a safe quarantine, including you anon (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥ I hope this satisfies what you had in mind! I had to write it twice cause I deleted the first draft...

RFA during quarantine

Yoosung 

His first instinct when he thinks about being stuck inside for the next few months isn’t how he’ll be spending it with you...

No, instead his first instinct is to turn on the computer

LOLOL ALL DAY EVERY DAY BABYYYY

Of course, with the increase in players and traffic to the site, the game appeared to be getting a lot more maintanance than it usually would, which annoyed the blonde boy.

“I’m meant to be doing a raid today MC! What am I doing to do now....”

“...Well for one you could do something with me?”

“Oh yeah!”

After finally tearing him away from his computer, the two of you decide to be productive during this time and learn a couple new skills!

First week: Cooking.

Of course, it would be easier to learn about such a thing if the supplies in the shops weren’t extremely limited, causing you both to have to make up substitutes as you went along.

You almost burnt the kitchen down twice in one week

You gave up with cooking after that

It wasn’t entirely a bad thing, you even got Yoosung to invest some of his time into your favourite games, which to your pleasant surprise he seemed to genuingly enjoy!

A few weeks in, he found an old guitar from high school in storage.

Worst. Discovery. Ever.

“Yoosung no...”

“YOOSUNG YES”

The next few days were filled with the sound of out-of-tune plucked strings overlapping the various youtube videos Yoosung was ‘learning’ from.

“Hey MC, I think I can finally play Hey There Delilah!”

“That’s wonderful honey...”

Zen

This man was SO EXCITED to spend lockdown with you and immediately started to plan all the wonderful things you two were going to do together.

The beast certainly had a few ideas as well

It was domestic bliss for you two

You couldn’t get your hands off of eachother for even a minute

You did everything together - eating, sleeping, showering etc.

The RFA commented on how suffocating it was, but neither of you seemed to mind.

It only solidified the knowledge that you two were destined to spend the rest of your life together.

A few times, Zen had caught himself almost calling you his wife, causing him to immediately hide his face away from you in fear of you commenting on his sudden blush.

There was a downside however. 

Zen’s routine was in shambles

Products were sold out left right and centre, food shopping was even worse, it was driving him crazy.

You found yourself having to remind him that a break in his rountine wasn’t going to be the end of the world and that you loved him regardless, even if he got a pimple or two.

Don’t even go there MC

You found yourselves cooking together more often too, showing Zen how to prepare more meals that were normally out of his diet range.

Of course, it wasn’t like he could resist your cooking anyway.

Whenever you two got a little too stir crazy, he would take you on motorbike rides through the city, more often than not resulting in you two at the top of a mountain stargazing.

It turned into a weekly tradition, one which you both promised to keep up even after quarantine.

Jaehee

You would think that the lockdown would give Jaehee the break she so desperately needed, right?

You would be wrong.

With the cafe closed, this girl threw herself into her work just for something to do

Much to your dismay.

It took a lot of persuading for her to get up from the computer and spend time with you during the initial first few weeks, but it was definitely worth it.

This girl was also extremely prepared to the lockdown before it was even announced.

Sanitiser? Got it, she had spare incase the cafe ran out

Masks? No problem. She had many still in storage from the days she would force herself into work even whilst sick

Again, much to your dismay

You suggested that instead of doing mindless work on her computer that she could help you with a different project you had in mind.

“A project? Whatever could we do in a time like this?”

Redesigning the cafe!

It was something the two of you had talked about many times before quarantine, but had never gotten round to going through with it.

You both took it upon yourself to fill your day with physical and mental labour, pushing around furniture, painting the walls, coming up with new bakes and sales to draw the customers in etc.

It was hard, but it was so worth it.

During the evenings, you two would bundle up together on your sofa and pick a set of movies to watch before bed.

One of you always fell asleep before the end- not that either of you would mind.

Jumin

Out of all of the RFA, he was definitely the closest to breaking the social distancing rule

The idea of not seeing you- touching you- for an unknown amount of time was driving him crazy.

Mr We-shouldn’t-move-in-together-until-marriage was certainly about to rip that view right out of his head just for the chance to kiss you again.

He distracted himself by constantly checking up on you.

“Do you need food? I can have one of the guards stop by a local shop to grab- what do you mean everything is sold out? Can’t they just order more?”

“Jumin no-”

You had to teach him about video calling so he would stop asking for selfies every ten minutes, disputing his claim about how he ‘was already missing your beauty’. 

It went about as well as you might imagine it would...

“Press the little video icon to turn on your camera- no the other one. It looks like a small- NO JUMIN THAT’S THE MUTE BUTTON.”

When you did eventually get it working, he was more than thrilled to be able to talk to you face to face again. He even looked up how to take screenshots on his computer so he could save them.

“You know MC, this platform has a lot of potential uses...”

Down boy its only been a week.

At first you thought just video calling him was enough to satisfy his need to see you, hoping he would stop complaining about ‘missing your touch’.

That was until Driver Kim showed up at your door.

“Mr Han has asked that you pack your bags ma’am. It seems he is rather fond of the idea that you spend this quarantine with him instead.”

Of course he does.

You are thankful though, you missed him more than you were willing to admit. 

Saeyoung

This boy spends his life indoors anyway, he barely registered the lockdown announcement when it finally came.

But when you brought up the idea of spending quarantine with him instead of in your own apartment, that’s when his interest finally peaked.

He picked you up in one of his babies, grinning from ear to ear as he helped you with your small bag of things. 

“Operation 707 and 606′s lockdown extravanganza - COMMENCE!”

To no one’s surprise, he had hacked into the shopping network the moment he knew basic supplies would become sparse and ordered everything you both would need to come straight to his doorstep.

Which in his eyes meant a dozen boxes of Dr Pepper and Honey Buddha Chips. 

“Saeyoung.....”

He would often complain to you about being an ‘essential worker’ because he was still hacking even in the lockdown, but you quickly shot him down.

“MC! You’re so mean! I’m doing this for you! Reward me!!”

The only reward he got was a pillow to the face

When he wasn’t working, the two of you spent your time playing games and watching movies mostly, with the occasional prank call to Yoosung sprung in if you were extra bored.

As much as he joked around about it, Seven was genuinely thankful that you chose to spend such a delicate time with him instead of alone, and made sure to remind you of it at least once a week.

Sometimes he’d go out of his way to cook you your favourite meal, sometimes he’d run a special bubble bath and light some scented candles for a relaxing night, sometimes there were other things too-

But he was genuinely happy to spend every day with you like this, it reminded him of how lucky he was to have you in his life.

Jihyun

Jihyun was concerned at first about the lockdown and his career as a photographer.

Where was he going to go now? Where would he find his inspiration?

His questions were thankfully answered when you walked through the door.

The two of you started a small project amongst yourselves to try and spread some positivity in the community involving V’s photographs.

You’d find inspiration around the house you shared and create these elaborate photoshoots between the two of you that you would share online, encouraging those at home to do the same.

It actually became rather popular, so the two of you continued it.

Your personal favourite entries were the photographs from Jumin as he tried to capture Elizabeth in all her glory but failed miserably.

It was the effort that counted though

When you weren’t taking photos, Jihyun was constantly entertaining you with various activities and puzzles, leading to your weekly board game tradition which was one that you very much enjoyed.

Living in the countryside, you were lucky enough to be able to spend your exercise out in the wilderness with your boyfriend, mindlessly cloud gazing and discussing what the future could possibly have in store for the both of you.

You made sure to spend this time making Jihyun feel as loved as possible too, showering him with little gestures of gratitude for his efforts in keeping you sane during this scary time, which only made him fall in love with you more.

Saeran

Stuck.... inside...?

For months???

OH HELL NO-

Saeran was not about that lockdown life, and immediately went into a grump only you were able to drag him out of.

“Saeran it won’t be so bad! I’m sure it’ll go by in a flash!”

“....You’ll stay with me for it?”

“Of course.”

The two of you slowly get into a comfortable rhythm with eachother, with the you both making sure to give each other space if the other felt suffocated or emotionally drained at any point.

You find yourselves searching around the house for anything you could possibly use to entertain yourselves, eventually stumbling upon a pile of old jigsaw puzzles you had forgotten about.

And thus a tradition was born

Both you and Saeran discovered your love of jigsaws during the quarantine, finding them to be both mentally stimulating and emotionally relaxing at the same time.

Plus, the satisfaction of finishing one you had been working on for the last few hours was extremely satisfying to say the least and quickly became one of your favourite activities to do with Saeran.

You ended up asking Seven if he could do you a favour halfway through the lockdown when your boyfriend had had a particularly hard day, and low and behold, a whole box of ice cream appeared at your doorstep a week later.

“...MC how did this get here?”

“Must have been a miracle darling. Now, how about a movie night, hm?”

[mugen-monogatari]

Kabukimonogatari - Mayoi Mishap; Time Travel Done Right

Let’s talk about time travel. From superhero movies to crime thrillers, across all forms of media, anime to live action, everyone wants to give their take on time travel. From the critically acclaimed shows, such as Doctor Who, to more unique takes on the format in shows like Re:Zero, it has begun to feel like an overused Deus Ex Machina (In my opinion Kiddos, don’t shred me please). Which is fine- Some people really like that, some shows and movies play really well off the idea of being able to alter past events, which is understandably something people really really love.

However- Not me. So imagine my surprise when Monogatari threw their two-cents in, providing another take on the plot device. Except this- This was different, this was time travel that didn’t take itself too seriously, yet used this to deliver a serious plot with heartfelt emotions. Something that hadn’t really come across to me in other form of media, having watched plenty of movies and shows that contrive themselves with all these serious rules they shove down your throat, before painfully breaking each of their own rules. Monogatari is the sort of show you expect dumb stuff from, silly shenanigans, so when the established rules are broken, you’re not left gazing at the screen pondering everything saying; “But- Wait…. What?”

That’s why Kabuki ended up blowing me away with two of the most powerful scenes in the series. Scenes only possible with the time travel element. The following is a discussion based around Mayoi Hachikuji and her role in Kabukimonogatari. From this point onward, I’ll be discussing spoilers for everything up to episode 39 of the entire Monogatari series (Episode 4 of Bakemonogatari season 2/Episode 9 of Monogatari Second Season). So if you haven’t watched the arc- I recommend turning back now. 

Little side note kiddos, this is all my opinion, I don’t think this is fact, it’s just how I interpret the series and my thoughts on it. I hope maybe my personal insights can give you guys something to think about yourselves.

Just so we’re clear, the images used are just screenshots from the anime, with the exception of this one above, I’ve only edited them, they’re not my original art work. If you like the edits though, feel free to use them.

One of the main plots of this arc, arguably the main plot, is saving Mayoi Hachikuji. A brief recap since many of you probably haven’t watched in a while; Shinobu and Koyomi accidently travel to the past 11 years to the time of Mayoi’s death. Koyomi realises he has an opportunity to save Mayoi, choosing to do so, allowing her to return to her mother. However, upon returning to the future, we discover, Shinobu, who never returned to Koyomi in this reality, ended up going insane and bringing an end to the world.

Towards the end of the arc, we find (much to our relief) that Hachikuji ends up being one of the survivors of the apocalypse. A pretty touching moment, when Koyomi finally lays eyes on the girl that he had saved in her past- A bittersweet moment considering he allowed her to live, at the expense of bringing an end to her world. For those of you who have read it, this is pretty similar to the egg and birdcage analogy from Tokyo Ghoul- Which I’ll touch on later. 

The first thing I noticed about all of this- is the parallels. Mayoi Hachikuji is a constant in Monogatari. Even during the arcs where she doesn’t appear or play a major role, she still exists in this world, as a spirit, as an undead. She is persistent in her existence. This is shown at the end of the arc, where Koyomi finally confronts her about her death, and asks if she would have been happy alive, to which she responds she is indifferent towards it, dying was an unhappy thing, but it is what it is. To Mayoi, she’s happy with existence, with being able to experience things, be it alive or dead, that’s why she remarks that she was happy to have a chance to meet Koyomi, even if dying was an unhappy thing.

This ‘existence at all costs’ mentality is then reflected into the adult Mayoi, who lives, even if the world around her goes to the dogs. She survives so long, because to her, it’s not about how you use your time, just the matter that you have time. A world in an apocalypse is a bleak one, and yet she survives. While the world as a ghost is a lonely one. You are permanent, forced to continue existing, even when those around her are no more. See the parallel? One chooses to live in an awful world, while the other is forced to in a pretty okay by most standards world. 

No matter what though, she cherishes her time, even when it’s lonely or scary, whether dead or alive, one thing is constant; Hachikuji. And that’s strangely profound to me. This idea of cherishing time is then carried over to the second part of this scene I loved. When Koyomi finally gets to see the fruits of his labor. The girl he saved. His friend, someone he cherishes deeply. But all he can do, tragically, is just walk away.

And that- That just struck me so hard. It was Monogatari saying; “No. Time travel isn’t a ‘get-out-of-jail-free card, it’s not some plot device that fixes everything. You mess with the past and your future, is no longer yours.” This is one of my favorite, absolute best scenes from any time travel series ever. This was tragedy done right. This was Mwah- Spicy stuff.

Koyomi leaves because that’s not his Hachikuji. The girl before him is a Hachikuji, but not the one he knows, that one he ‘loves’, that we as an audience love. By saving Hachikuji, the one from his reality- never came to be. That’s why he leaves. He says nothing really, pretending to not know her, just regretfully gazing upon her, realizing how lonely and scared she must’ve been as a result of his actions.

Koyomi remarks upon returning to his reality, that the Hachikuji we all know and love, is a result of his interactions with her over the course of the series. We have the power to shape those around us, we influence people every day, we change how they act, speak, the way the look at things or feel about something. That is how the personality of our Hachikuji was born. But by saving her, Koyomi in this reality, would have never met her. They would’ve never interacted. Instead, they would live Blissfully unaware lives, maybe meeting in passing, but never having really interacted.

This adult Hachikuji may sound the same, look the same, even act the same, but it’s not the same one from our reality. She doesn’t hold the same experiences and memories, making her a different person. Koyomi realizes this, knowing that there was nothing he could really do, having to just suck it up and move on.

That’s kind of what is really beautiful about this whole arc. He saves a girl, he gives someone a chance at life, but it’s not who he thought it was, it’s not ‘his’ girl, it’s not ‘his’ world. Ultimately what is the cost of one girl’s life, and if that cost is too high, are you just making that life worse for her? These are the sort of questions and ideas the series forces our main character to realize and contemplate.

The idea of worth and exchange moves back to the idea of the egg and the birdcage. If Hachikuji is the bird, the egg is her world, and the birdcage is reality. Within the egg, there is comfort, there safety and bliss. However, for the bird to live, it must break free from the egg, destroy it’s own world, escape from comfort and bliss into the unknown, only to realize- that unknown is limited. It’s not freedom that awaits the bird, it’s both knowledge of what is outside it’s world, but the lie of happiness or freedom. In our case, the Adult Hachikuji broke free from the egg, She destroyed her world, ruined the reality where she dies and returns as a spirit, instead choosing to live a limited life as a human in a world that isn’t much better than the confines of the egg. Adult Hachikuji was given a false freedom by Koyomi. He destroyed her world, almost literally, and forced her into a reality which isn’t that much better than the other choice, the birdcage. There’s this idea of potential, this idea that she could live a life but at the expense of being released into an awful world.

The opposite is true for our Mayoi. Our Maoyi never left the egg, never deviated from her set path, being killed, returning as a spirit. But as a result, she lives a safer and more  comfortable life, having both friends and people to stay with, people that will take care of her, never having to deviate into a harsh reality, at the expense of not having the chance at even slight freedom and life that Adult Mayoi received.

In both cases the metaphor is just that, but both a metaphor and almost literal. The creature in the egg and the one that breaks free are the same creature, but different at the same time due to having different experiences, neither is the correct or wrong one, both just exist. I think to me that’s what Mayoi’s arc is about. Just existing. It’s not about what path you take, it’s not about what option was right or wrong, it’s not about maximizing your time and using it efficiently.

To me, this entire arc was profound. Hachikuji to me embodied the idea that it’s not about how you necessarily use your time, but just the idea that you should appreciate the simple fact that you have time. That’s why I’ll never forget this one scene and how much meaning it had, how much weight it had, about coming to terms with one’s actions and consequences, and realizing that right and wrong don’t matter, as long as you do something with the time you’re given.

And that’s where the first scene ends. However has gone on long enough, so I’ve decided to split this into two separate parts, one for Shinobu’s scene and this. If you enjoyed reading or want to share your opinions, feel free to comment or message me, I always love hearing what other people think. All the support is appreciated, and if you made it this far, well then- Like go outside, why did you spend so much time reading the ramblings of a mad man?