#so obviously there's just the good and bad in life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like we chillin

[dan-crimes]

In reference to my last post, not to be a DOWNER or anything but the way my brain works is it focuses on bad memories like here and there I'll look back and be like Yeah there were some fun times I had but just KNOW you wouldn't ever wanna go back to THAT because of This and That and That and THIS which I have no issue with cuz it would be impossible for me to go back to that anyway lmao

It works both ways tho my bad memories also get attacked by positive ones we find a balance <3

[lovecanbesostrange]

ouattober2023 Day 5: Fav Relationship

RED SNOW

It doesn't say romantic relationship, so my absolute fav that will creep into everything else (even very specific Red romances with other ladies I daydream about) is Snow White & Red, Mary Margaret & Ruby, who weren't allowed enough scenes together post-curse.

Snow White wandered the wilderness alone and ended up in a chicken coop, seeking shelter from the cold and oh yeah, also there was this growling scary sounding beast around (funny thing about that...). And in the morning Red stumbles in, trying to get eggs. What would you do finding a thief? Be at least a bit little suspicious? Especially when the thief gives you an obviously fake name? At least question of that thief might have done something bad and was hiding for a nefarious reason? Yeah, not Red though. One look and she takes the girl in. Name? Pffff, just something to call someone. (Which makes a lot of sense, since she doesn't reveal her own name, it's just "everyone calls me Red".) Yes, okay, Snow is so far away from her bandit badassery, Red can assess the threat level and she knows she could take her... that's for sure some thoughts running through her head.

And from then it's settled, these two are friends now. Finding some dead, maimed corpses and subsequently going on a wolf hunt sure helps the bonding experience. The true kicker is when one of them turns out to be the wolf and the other is just: "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Well, we suspected the person isn't violent and I won't abandon her now." See, this is a good example of do-as-you-preach. Snow was adamant that Red could help Peter, that he was truly good at heart, not a bloodthirsty monster, that the change was temporary and he deserved help, not to be thrown to a mob. Except "he wasn't the wolf" (Snow's voice gives me chills everytime). And now Snow will do everything for Red.

Snow has her mind set on living in a nice cabin in the woods and it's good she met Red. At least she teaches her how to properly track. When Quinn finds them though and Red gets to meet Anita - everything could have changed right there. Snow was ready to let Red go and in this scenario Red would have had a family member back, gotten control over the wolf and be welcomed in a whole pack let's ignore how irritating it is that they all vanish in an instant. Snow would have had to start with zero again. But then it's the Evil Queen soldiers following and finding her that sets in motion the chain of events that ends with Quinn's and Anita's death. Oops. And this is when Red chooses herself, her own path and that path is next to Snow. So close to getting a home, but instead she saves Snow's life, because Snow is already the family she needed. A found family, forged in tragedy. Wonderful.

And after that the dynamic sorta switches. Because - after becoming bandit!Snow and living in her cabin, befriending seven men etc - Snow is the one to find love. Something they talked about the first day they met, when Red had Peter and Snow believed there would never be time for romance. But oh, Red sees the love and she is Team Snowing through-and-through. Emma's little Back to the Future stunt changed things up, but most things still happened, that includes Red teaming up with Charming for a bit for sure. And despite the weird oversight that Red can't be seen at the Snowing wedding, she totally fights for them.

Here is my obligatory sidenote. I like canon just fine. I melt into a puddle the moment Red calls Snow her family at the end of Child of the Moon. Female friendship to the max and all that. But, please, come on, Red's crush on Snow could be seen from space! [insert moon joke here] While I mostly ignore the existence of Red's Untold Tale and the comic Shadow of the Queen, it should be pointed out that in the latter Snow did ride wolf!Red. Dorothy wasn't the first to get to experience that. With the CGI in mind it's best we didn't get to see that, but just think for a minute about the fun Snow had with her now in control bestie in her furry form. (And remember that the episode Heartless is a thing, in which Snow pre-bandit-outfit meets a hunter specializing in werewolves, sure, sure.) Anyway, this friendship goes deep and there was one-sided love.

If you accept my premise here, it's extra fun to look at two tiny Red Snow exchanges. 1. The welcome back party in The Cricket Game. Ruby: "I wasn't worried a bit." MM: "I can tell." 2. Ruby's sorta non-coming out in Ruby Slippers when Snow says she could give Dorothy TLK. "Ruby, you're my best friend. I know you And I see how worried you are. You can tell me." Yes, this is pure fan wank on my part, I am aware, but isn't it beautiful? Even though they haven't seen each other Snow considers Ruby her best friend and she can still read her and her own past next to Red, she knows what her love looks like. Friends to almost lovers is a thing (oh, I have a dozen very romantic scenarios in my head for them, ask around).

oh look who made that gif, I wonder who that is They went together through thick and thin and I don't understand how the writers couldn't find a way to keep Ruby around (the super speed was a mistake). I believe Red was supposed to be Emma's favorite Aunt, please, her non-fairy godmother. Snow at an angry moment should have threatened somebody with letting the wolf loose the way Regina did with the Blind Witch in Ruby Slippers, for the lols and my viewing pleasure. But despite all the mistakes, when Ruby did come back in S5 we get two great Red Snow scenes. In The Bear King and Ruby Slippers, both set in the diner hallway and it's marvelous. Especially that added goodbye scene to explain Ruby's absence, while mirroring their moment in the wolf den. Snow letting go, respecting that Red might find her happiness elsewhere.

Oh, to think about "not as much as I'll miss you". That does sting, because we see Snow get her Prince Charming, her kingdom, her family, then survive the curse, befriend her nemesis even and Ruby is... gone. Living for who knows how long as a wolf in a witch hut. The only thing so wrong about them finally meeting again in the Underworld is that Snow doesn't even recognize those paw prints! Writers! WHY?? You let me down, there is a whole scene about those big ass tracks. (Can't blame Emma for not recognizing Ruby in wolf-form.)

Anyway, Your Honour, I LOVE THEM! I will always look out for the female lead having a close girl bestie, okay? This show needed more unrelated friendships. (Also secret kisses during cold nights, ssshhhh, they needed to stay warm.) They needed each other:

[apatheticintrovert]

A rant for the void.

I'm definitely too apathetic because whoever wins, does it actually matter?? We never actually have any control when it comes to our government. No president cares about us even though they're "elected" to serve us, the people. No matter what happens, the world will keep on spinning. Palestinians will continue to be bombed. The world will continue to be unjust and unfair.

In Texas ted cruz has already won to stay senator until 2031. Everything feels hopeless all the time. Norhing about this election feels any difference from the last 2, except that I can't find it in me to care. I've been saying this but the only good politician is a dead one and no matter who our president is, our country is (and has been, since its conception really) an active participant in genocide, war, voter interference in other countries, etc. Etc.) We are more informed and aware of the propaganda than ever and our government still gets away with whatever it wants with little to no repercussions.

There are still so many people that can't be bothered to care about the state of the world they live in and that's by design, we are largely struggling to make it to each new day in this capitalist hellscape we live in, in the middle of a recession, with education, resources, literal human rights being not only on the chopping block every election cycle but actively being taken away.

Which I get it... I know why Kopmala is "better" but I'm so sick of the "lesser of two evils" being our only options every fucking election. (I voted 3rd party and socialist for the first time ever this year because I didn't have another "lesser of two very obviously bad and genocidal evils" left in me) Even Obama who was so well liked and praised had record breaking levels of deportation, and there was the drone strikes...

Every election cycles feels like a slap in the face. We need a fucking revolution, that's genuinely our only hope imo. And Americans will never organize well enough to execute it. Too many people are satisfied with the status quo and not bothered by things like the ongoing genocide in Palestine and Congo and Sudan because it's not directly impacting them (to their knowledge) A large amount of the average Americans will not be bothered to care until it's too late and policy is actually directly impacting them. Idk. I'm just word vomiting at this point and it's just to vent for my own benefit.

It's weird to me how little I truly care tonight, especially compared to other people in my life and others I see online. Looking back at memories of innocent little 19 year old me voting in my first presidential election in 2016, I was so confident the country wouldn't vote for that man (who is arguably worse now and looking like he might win again) I was so much more uninformed about Hillary and politics and the us government.... I was up all night anxious and watching live coverage and checking my phone constantly. Now 8 years later, it's just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ everything is awful and it will stay that way no matter who wins. We saw that well enough during this biden presidency. Not to mention how many people only vote during the presidential election cycle. As if all the others that impact is locally don't matter when they are oftentimes the most important and impactful, setting up city mayors, us representatives, etc.

Even with so many people out here organizing and doing the work all the time, outside of just election season, being community driven and helping out community with volunteer work and mutual aid ... It still feels so cyclical and unending.

And even though I didn't vote for her I do still understand why kopmala would be a better winner than the fascist cheeto (I live in Texas which is always solidly red anyways it's not like it made a difference other than I had the privilege to vote with my conscious and hopefully do whatever small part possible to push and uplift 3rd party candidates)... It's still just so frustrating that in this "democracy" we are saddled with the illusion of choice with our "two party system" (two sides of the same coin).

"heavy sigh*

All this to say.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ a bunch of nothing really. Just voicing my apathy and discouragement to the VOID.

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.tumblr.com/eisforeidolon/728491554945269760/it-really-does-seem-that-getting-too-deep-into

Okay but this was totally my ask. Lol.

You expressed the issue so well. The only thing I’d like to point out is that this reactor is watching for the first time, not rewatching the series, so they don’t know how it ends yet.

Anyway, your points about symbolism and how they could have multiple meanings are great. And the fact that extreme shippers only find significance in the things that support their ship or head canon, or only interpret things in a way that will end where they want the story to go, is so frustrating.

Recent example: Sam and Dean are talking about Eileen. And Dean is encouraging Sam to go for a relationship with her, if not a family which they both suggest they don’t want during the convo, and Dean says, “She gets us. She gets the life.”

In response to this convo I see shippers saying things like, Dean is encouraging Sam to have a family (which he just said he didn’t want), to move on without him. This shows Dean is letting go of Sam (so he can move on with Castiel, naturally 🙄). I’m sorry, but what in the history of the show tells us that Dean would want Sam to move on without him (if Dean is still alive)? In this conversation they both literally rule out having a (traditional) family. And Dean says, “she understands us.” Us, being the unit that is Sam and Dean because they are a package deal. Then, Dean adds that she understands “the life.” Someone could interpret that Dean just means that she understands hunters, but then why say she understands “us” first. Dean, who calls a break “we time” does not want Sam away from him, rather he thinks Sam could add her in to they dynamic because she is a hunter (gets the life) and already sees what Sam and Dean are like (us). This in no way translates to Dean letting Sam go, so he can run off with Cas (who he sees as a less vital than Sam brother and who he’s currently mad at, btw).

So, yes, I’m doing some interpreting here myself, but mine aligns with what the show has showed us about these characters for 14 years, whereas hellers see Dean giving Sam his blessing to have a relationship (not a normal brother thing, btw), and think this means Dean is ready to move on from Sam and stop hunting. So much extra meaning is piled on that was not actually stated, and that is not supported by past actions.

It’s insane to me.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but it’s just so good to see people who still have logic and can apply that when interpreting a show, text, moment or symbol.

And, it’s not the fact that they ship destiel that bugs me, but the fact that they spend do much time trying to prove it, and losing their minds over the most innocuous interactions, that they can’t see the forest for the trees. Then they get mad when they don’t get what they head-canoned.

It was a great ask! I didn't directly reblog because I felt like I was going on a bit too much of a long-ass tangent. I will totally be waiting for that update about how the watching reactor (and yeah, totally my bad on saying rewatch when obviously if they don't know the ending it's a first watch, whoops). Because if it makes you a bad person to want to bask in their well-earned completely unreasonable disappointment, whelp, I'm one, too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But yeah, I'm with you, I don't care if people ship things I don't like. I don't even really care when people come up with what I think is bad meta - though I do like to pick it apart on occasion or read someone else's thorough dismantling. No, the thing that really completely baffles me is how those extreme shippers' mindset leaps from "this is a thing I would really like to happen" to "this thing must be meant to happen (because I want it)". To the point where they seem to become genuinely blind to anything that doesn't support the conclusion they have decided literally everything must lead to. (Except in the even worse cases where they aren't blind but angrily venomous instead.)

Like your example above about Dean, Sam, and Eileen - never mind every single tangled up bit of Dean and Sam's relationship in the show to that point and beyond, never mind his actual words continuing to talk about them as an us. Dean is totally telling Sam to leave him for Eileen so he can go be with Cas, that's the only thing it could mean. Another is that scene where Dean's in the confessional booth in season ten. Never mind the pretext where he's trying to draw a spirit's attention making the earnestness of the entire thing questionable, never mind how he thinks he's under a death sentence with the MoC, never mind Dean and Castiel's actual canon relationship, never mind how entirely shitty and restricted his entire life has been - those shippers can't think of a single possible thing Dean Winchester might feel like he's missed out other than boning Castiel. Just ... imagine watching the Winchesters' lives and actually thinking that's literally the only thing it could be. There are a million more random moments like that where they build a clue out of very very pointedly ignoring everything but what they want a scene to mean. Then they try to insist because they have so many, all those interpretations are valid and it must be intended! But the consistent element isn't a storyline, it's their own refusal to consider that any other possibility exists over and over and over again.

Genre, themes, actual explicit narrative, alternate interpretations, creator statements - if it isn't in service of the ship? It either magically doesn't matter, will change SOON, or is some kind of enemy action that should be righteously fought against. As if because they've invested their time and energy into sort of following the story, its creators now owe it to them to do what they want. I legitimately don't get it at all. The massive blind spots or the massive entitlement.

[sonneillonv]

Okay, so re: S07Ep10 I have opinions obviously.

First off.

The ENTIRE Kim situation could have been defused if Eddie and/or Kim were just better liars. I know, I KNOW, that's not necessarily a good thing, but I'm very Silverquill so bear with me here, like... this complete and utter implosion did NOT have to happen. All that had to happen was for Kim to say, "Oh, no, Christopher honey.... I'm your auntie."

Like, that's literally it. She's not eddie's weird doppleganger girlfriend, she's Shannon's sister who reached out to Shannon's widowed husband for support. They weren't hugging for romantic reasons, they were hugging for "We both lost someone we loved and it sucks" reasons. Yeah, it looked bad when they walked in, but actually the reason Kim showed up is that she has been having awful problems coping with the suddenness of Shannon's death so in her grief she reached out to the only person who was actually there and who may have loved Shannon as much as she did. Turns out Eddie's not over it either. They had some catharsis together, but in a family way, not in a cheating way.

It explains what she's doing there. It explains why she looks like Shannon. It explains why Eddie hugging her doesn't necessarily have to end his relationship with Marisol. Chris doesn't have to be mad that his dad apparently sought out a mom-doppelganger because bro sometimes siblings just look alike. As for why Chris didn't know Kim before, or why his mom never said she had a sister, maybe Kim is an older sister. Maybe their mom had Kim too early in life and gave her up for adoption. Maybe mom confessed this secret to Shannon during the time Shannon left Eddie and Chris to 'take care of her' and Shannon just didn't have the time to bring it up because their reunion was so short. Maybe Shannon and Kim connected during that time and Kim isn't JUST dealing with losing a sister - she's dealing with losing a sister she only just found.

Come to think of it, that really would have been a much better plot in the first place. -_-;;

The writers could even still have the drama of Marisol and Chris walking in on them hugging! Misunderstandings are cliche' but they can be fun, why not. Then everything is explained and Chris can have complicated feelings about getting to know a new auntie who looks so heartbreakingly much like his mom. Eddie doesn't have to be re-traumatized by Kim's role-playing (I've said before I don't think she went into that with bad intentions but HOLY SHIT) and Chris doesn't have to be shipped off to Texas. Or maybe he just wants to spend the SUMMER with his grandparents so he has some time to adjust to this bomb that was just dropped into his life. Like, that would be understandable, needing some space. Hell, Kim and Marisol could even become friends. I mean, I know nobody seems to want any of the women in Eddie's life to be friends, but I personally think it's a good thing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lesbiankendall]

i dont think you're like an evangelical for stating the obvious at all. its more like. its evangelical when people who talk about abolishing punitive justice get all fucked up and bent out of shape over feeling compassion for evil fictional characters and double down on wanting to punish them extra hard. it feels good to see even fake rich people suffer but i also dont think it would heal us all forever instantly if we lined up all the billionaires and shot them. theyve done too much hurt for that to fix. some people are very obviously uncomfortable with their capacity to understand "bad" people. i don't think thats you or have beef with you or whatever. that's just. thoughts. im sorry

i mean i get what you mean but this is not what's happening here at all. i'm just sharing my opinion on my blog i'm not punishing anyone lmao. you can talk about how kendall has never done anything wrong in his life ever or whatever on your tumblr/twitter/whatever and i can talk about how that interpretation is extremely boring to me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

like i literally wouldnt even care about him that much if he wasnt such a piece of shit. that's what's interesting to me! he's complicit in so much shit and yet he still thinks he can be a good person! that's such an interesting dichotomy and reducing him to always being the victim makes everything so bland and boring. i want to sink my teeth into everything that makes him thick and not talk about Wobified Male Character Template #454521

[rjalker]

The movie is clearly trying to show that racial (or in this case, speciesial? special?) profiling is wrong and that it has serious negative consequences not just for individuals but for society at large. However, as Devin Faraci points out in his review, the portrayal of minorities as "predators" seems to undermine the entire message of the movie. It implies that this minority is inherently dangerous; to quote Faraci:

"Predators eat prey. This is their relationship, and we in the audience understand it as such. Yes, the bunny should be pulling her kids away from the tiger. The tiger is demonstrably, historically dangerous. He has evolved to be dangerous to her."

Archived link.

Yeah this is where Martha Wells, a cis white woman, fails every time she tries to portray oppressed people in her writing. The Raksura are literally apex predators who literally evolve shapeshifting abilities so they could sneak into other species' cities, gain their trust, and then eat them all. They are so absurdly overpowered the protagonists, who are Raksura, have literally never lost a fight on screen, even against the other Actual Evil Race of Shapeshifters Who Eat People that are supposedly super scary and dangerous. No, despite all the characters constantly telling us these other ones are super scary and terrifying and dangerous, Martha Wells just can't bring herself to let the protagonist lose a single fight against them.

Or anyone else for that matter. The Raksura are physically superior to their natural prey - - other people - - in every way. They're faster. They have natural weapons in the form of teeth, claws, wings, and pure physical strength. You can't outrun them, you can't hide from them, there's no defence against them for 99.99% of the people in this world.

But the Raksura, we are old, are oppressed by everyone else, because everyone else is rightfully wary of them and thinks they're going to eat them. You know, the way they literally evolved to do?

And then in her newest series The Murderbot Diaries, the androids (she decided to call them constructs to confuse everyone for no reason) are enslaved, and obviously this is a bad thing....but not even the fucking protagonist, who is one of these enslaved androids, thinks the other androids should be freed because they're all so inherently dangerous and violent and scary and used as weapons by Capitalism to oppress people.

These androids have guns built into their arms and the ability to kill as many people as they want and the protagonist, Murderbot is constantly spying on literally everyone around it by hacking into security cameras and trailing people with drones and there's literally nothing anyone would be able to do to get it to stop doing this. If it wanted to it could, very easily, within less than a minute send a space station crashing out of orbit and into a planet if it felt like it. And there would be nothing anyone could do to stop it.

But then we're still supposed to think that it's not fair for humans who have been directly and traumatically oppressed by these androids to be afraid of them and to think they're dangerous. The protagonist itself literally doesn't even think other androids should be freed because it thinks they'd all go on a rampage and start killing everyone.

Martha Wells has not written about a single oppressed people in any of her stories where the oppressed people were not literally posing a real life threatening danger to the people doing the oppressing.

Because Martha Wells does not understand how oppression works, or why it exists. Just the same way as she doesn't understand that gender is a social construct, or how it works.

If your oppressed people are oppressed "for a good reason" and it's not just literally propaganda to justify oppressing them, then you're just racist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Real oppressed people are not oppressed because they're super powered robots who can kill hundreds of people in a few minutes, or because they're literal shapeshifting apex predators who evolved to kill and eat people, or because they're fucking antivaxxers who've literally wiped several cities off the post-apocalyptic map by refusing to get vaccinated.

Stop fucking writing about fantasy oppression if you don't actually know how real oppression works in the first place.

[maybeturtlesweallare]

Yeah I’m also not the most articulate person so, taking the easy way out, I’ll just be non-specific while I add my two cents.

I agree that the post doesn’t cover everything and that it can’t/doesn’t have to. I still get the overall criticism it’s bringing up. People will always misinterpret things, or take them wrong, or just out of context, even if it was much more of a comprehensive explanation. Additionally, if it was so much more of a lengthy explanation then it would have lost a lot of potential impact on people. Nonetheless, criticism of the criticism is warranted lol.

Obviously there is no “one size fits all” rule for these types of situations, especially with the wording of things. In this case it’s a bit ironic with how the post itself is addressing how these sorts of words can be twisted. Balance the intentional, the unintentional, subtext, everyone’s different ever-evolving definitions/perspectives on things, etc. and you end up with a bit of a verbal/textual minefield.

So I’ll just say to be careful about taking this post as law, and rather carefully try to understand the specific language and situation as that it’s referring to. Try to recognize it not only in others, but also yourself.

Life is hard because the line of who’s “right” and who’s “wrong” is often blurry. Sometimes we might set boundaries for ourselves that are too restrictive and thus hinder our growth until we are pushed out of them. On the other hand we can be too loose and end up letting ourselves get hurt by others. Figuring out when it’s okay to be pushed vs when it’s okay to push back is a constant battle.

Also, regardless of where they’re placed, our boundaries tend to change how those around us act. So, like I think some of the above reblog is addressing, I don’t know if saying they’re not intended to change how other people behave is totally right? I get the point behind saying that a boundary is your refusal to interact with a person who does something, rather than your boundary being a restriction placed on that person themselves. But based on the situation, like maybe with a certain power dynamic, a refusal to interact could be more manipulative. Ooooooor it’s actually still fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. And outside of close person to person interactions, there’s the strangers and the public too right? Like “Freedom” and “lack of censorship” vs “politeness” and “common decency” in communities. Ugh. Yeah it’s just complicated.

We have boundaries and preferences based off of how we feel and, as with everything, it’s good to question them. Like… What might make this a boundary instead of a preference and vice versa? What “cost” is there to enforcing these? What experiences and/or feelings are these things rooted in? Which feelings might be considered “valid” and which feelings should I work on? How does my “set” of boundaries and preferences look when compared to others? How does my “set” interact with the ones that those around me have developed? What type of relationship should I have with someone based on these interactions? (example: you might like travelling with someone who you wouldn’t want to house sit for you) Idk. Just some questions like that I think could be good for developing our relationship with the world around us.

Lastly, I’d like to say: prepare to forgive yourself and others!!! (Yes there are situations with extenuating circumstances where it can be worse to forgive someone, this is just a general suggestion) There will be bad days, accidents, areas where personal growth needs to be done, and so on. We all screw up at some point. Just a bit more kindness during these times would do a lot to make the world a nicer place.

Alright I’ll shut up now, this is a bit off the cuff so sorry if I haven’t said things properly, and feel free to add to my ramblings lol

[claratyler]

man i am so dizzy

perhaps this relentless producitivity i'm striving for in the face of my father leaving is Not actually realistic or helpful ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To be clear im 23 like this isnt a child of divorce situation, and im not angry at him, in fact this separation could just be temporary, we really dont know. But i feel so bad for my mom and she's been crying every day, and obviously ive been here for her as best as i can but oh god 🫠🫠

and i swear JUST when i was feeling good again, going out to gay clubs, having a steady-albeit not a lot of money at all but still- source of income, regaining trust in my best friend after treacherous event on his part, flourishing as a composer like i had never before in my entire life, even my teacher was like "whats up with you lately??? You've been doing so well in these lessons" and me clownishly being like "well..things are...good rn :)" 🤡

things really do only get better for them to just get worse

[reilliane]

Vigil au where mc drink some kind of potion that turns them into little kid and kazuha need to take care of 10 yo mc for 48 hours.

OH MY GOODNESS, ANON THIS IS SPLENDID, SHUCKS- LET'S START, HASTEN! TO THIS ADORABLE THING! o(*≧▽≦)ツ┏━┓

To make it even adorable, we regress MC's mental age, too—so she really reverted back to being a child!

Now, a sad truth is that MC didn't get to actually experience the full joy of being a child for the reason that back then, she was all about being studious.

When she got turned into a ten-year-old, of course she still has memories of, well, her little brother obviously—but then imagine her surprise lol.

Ah her brother's taller than her- ah, he'S TALLER THAN HER- THE PANIC- THE FEAR-

Kazuha's just as panicked as she is lmao, but after ensuring that nothing bad will come out of the transformation (aside from revoked little sibling luxuries), he's a little lost on what to do.

He never really had any experience with taking care of someone younger... in fact, it's always him who's getting doted on! But this is MC! His sister! Older- yoUNGER?? (ﾟДﾟ;)

That's to say, well, ten-year-old MC is actually- already a smart, dignified MC. She for sure won't act like 'children her age' since her mentality at such an age was all about 'preparing for the future'.

I want to imagine that perhaps this happened when they were traveling, the clan's already gone, it's just the two of them. So, MC naturally is also at a loss.

Aside from studying and taking care of her brother, she doesn't exactly know what comprises the life of a child on the cusp of adolescence..

Learning this, Kazuha's guilty. He has never thought of his sister being technically robbed of a normal childhood.

It's sad :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) ::

He was able to experience the joys of one without having to worry about the pressure of being a firstborn. A daughter, no less.

When he was the child, his mind hadn't once thought of the stress on his sibling. How could he? He was a child, but now as a full-fledged adult, wise and experienced, he feels so bad.

The first thing he does is to get to the nearest city, let's say Mondstadt and there's an ongoing festival, because Mondstadt is nice- it's jolly- (✿◡‿◡)

It's a little awkward that he continues to address the much younger MC as 'nee-san', but can he help it? It's practically habit by now lmao

MC's so embarrassed, by the way (/▽＼) Now, she's the one holding on to her younger brother's sleeve. Goodness gracious, someone take her away already (°°)～

No matter how smart and dignified she may be, however, ten-year-olds are ten-year-olds, still.

That means that If Kazuha sees even the glint of interest and want towards something in MC's eyes, if it's a pretty doll or even an exotic looking dress?

You dear bet he's going to pull his wallet out. No hesitance whatsoever (︶︹︺)

Tugs on his sleeve? (⊙ˍ⊙)

"Kazu, what are you doing?"

SHUCKING PUPPY EYES THAT HAVE HIM CRUMPLING TO THE FLOOR? (⊙o⊙)

"A-are you planning to buy- wait-!"

NO, THEY AIN'T WORKING, NEE-SAN. I'M BUYING YOU STUFF AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME - Kazuha (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

It's the most he can do to help rekindle MC's lost childhood okay :<

His wallet's crying but does he care? Of course not- alright, maybe he will when MC turns back to normal and gives him a gentle scolding, but no time like the present!

Oh, oh, and imagine MC trying to cook but she's too short to reach the kitchen counter 〒▽〒

Kazuha's so attacked like- "UGH MY HEART"- yes he takes over cooking duties, which isn't a bad thing, he's a good cook.

In all honesty, taking care of MC? It's... nice. He wonders if this is how it feels like, being an older sibling.

He for sure knows that it's not. Compared to him, who was an absolute sweet menace, MC is so composed and placid.

But the bottom line is that he gets to take care of nEE-SAN. He sees it as a gift in some kind of way, and it will definitely stick around even when MC turns back to normal.

Bonus:

MC's still so embarrassed with the assortment of dolls/trinkets Kazuha bought her when the potion wore off. But she cherishes them! :DDD

PS. IM GONNA SHUCKING DRAW THIS SOMETIME BUT I'M GONNA MAKE MC YOUNGER BECAUSE- BECAUSE JUST WAIT DEARIES-

[sleptwithinthesun]

are you still take tgm requests? I’d love to see hangman w/ allergies 🥺❤️

holy fuck, this got so very out of hand. i honestly wasn't planning on writing anything over 1.5K and well. the plot grabbed me by the neck and held me hostage for a good three hours and here we are; i offer 4.1K words written in a single day that i didn't proofread at all. enjoy!!

(also i. do not celebrate the holidays at all so forgive me for any possible inaccuracies. i have no idea how any of this works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

In Jake's defense, he didn't know he was allergic.

His family was never all that into the holidays. It never seemed like a big deal to him, or his brothers, or his parents; every year, when Christmas rolled around, they'd get a couple of small gifts and a handful of ten dollar bills, and that was it. No tree, no lights, nothing. Jake didn't mind, because that's just how it was.

But then he'd hear other kids in school excitedly talking about finding their tree over the weekend, or stringing up lights around the house, or snooping through presents, and something twinged in his chest. The wanting, when he realized what it was, felt awful. He had plenty. There was no need for him to ask for more.

And yet, he still wanted. The feeling never went away.

It starts like this:

His phone rings two days before his leave begins, and the caller I.D. reveals it as none other than Maverick. So, of course, Jake picks up, says, "Seresin," and waits for tragedy.

Instead, Maverick invites him—along with the rest of the Daggers, apparently—back to North Island to spend their leaves with him, which just so happen to be over the week of Christmas and coincidentally line up with Maverick's declaration of his retirement, which is at least four months overdue.

(Afterwards, Bradley calls him, lets out a shaky sigh before he asks, "Is it bad that I'm relieved? About his retirement?"

"Naw," Jake says, willfully ignoring the tugging in his chest when he realizes it was him that Bradley chose to reach out to. "Mav has a special talent for getting himself in trouble. I can't imagine that's easy for you to watch every time."

"Yeah, it fucking sucks," Bradley says with a wet laugh. They both pretend not to notice as he sniffles, chokes back his tears on the other end of the receiver.

They've grown... closer, ever since the mission. The thing that Jake has realized about saving a person's life is that afterwards, there's no going back to how things were. Bradley is entirely unavoidable, and he watches from the eye of the storm as their relationship begins to settle around them. It doesn't feel right to label it something as simple as friendship, but Jake really doesn't have a better word for what they are to each other.)

Obviously, he accepts Maverick's invitation without question. Texas is miserable in the winter, and he's even less eager to go back home with the predicted weather for the next week. He's seen how bad his state's drivers are normally; putting them on the road with no more than an inch of snow is a nightmare he's really not eager to deal with.

He accepts Maverick's invitation without question, of course. Texas is miserable in the winter, and he's even less eager to go back with the arctic snap making its way across the United States. He's seen how bad Texas drivers are normally; putting a bunch of them on the road with no more than an inch of snow will be an absolute nightmare that he does not want to deal with.

"Are you sure?" Maverick still asks, only a minute into their conversation and already trying to argue his way out of any company because he's Maverick and clearly doesn't think he's deserving of the Daggers. "I don't want to take away from your time with your family."

"Pops, do not tell me you're relinquishing your invitation already," Jake says, poking him right in the nerve, and Maverick splutters indignantly.

"What, no! Of course not, Jake, I just—"

"—don't want to be alone," Jake finishes for him. "Don't worry, Bradley'll be there no matter what, and the more company you have, the better. Can't let you handle too much by yourself, especially not in your old age."

You don't know what to do now that Ice is gone, remains unspoken.

Maverick sighs, and the sound is a hurricane in his ears. "Sure, kiddo. Whatever you say."

"I'm thirty-four," he points out, and Maverick only laughs before hanging up all too soon.

And that's how he finds himself on a plane heading to North Island, far more unsettled than he's ever been in the cockpit of his own jet. Similar to many other Naval aviators, he hates flying like a civilian, even though he knows the commercial pilots are more than capable. Jake just prefers to have control. To be in charge. It's part of what makes him such a terrible leader; if he doesn't know exactly what's going on at every moment, he'll fall to pieces.

(Nevertheless, he persists, as if he's not threatening to do just that already.)

-

Maverick, for some reason, has absolutely lost his mind.

Jake's pretty sure there isn't an inch of the house that doesn't have some sort of decoration, and to be honest, it's making him a bit dizzy just to try and navigate it all. He's only the third to arrive, after Bradley, who doesn't exactly count, considering that Mav's practically his father, and Natasha, who greets him with a warning that doesn't do nearly enough to prepare him for the absolute chaos of Maverick's house.

"How the hell...?" He starts, stops, tries again. "How did he—?"

"Don't ask," Natasha advises, urging him with a hand to toe of his shoes at the doorway before waving him inside. "Bradley's making hot chocolate. Take advantage of his kindness while he's offering."

(It's Carole's recipe.)

Glancing around the house once again, Jake absently scrubs at the side of his nose, and laughs when he notices there's even mistletoe in the doorway to the living room. "Holy shit, Mav really didn't leave anything out, does he?"

"I did not!" the man himself calls, walking into the room and casually dropping a kiss onto Bradley's forehead as the younger aviator leans into him for a moment, continuing to stir the pot on the stove. "I tried to take into account your different holidays, so there's a tree in the corner of the living room and a menorah on the console by the window for Bob and Reuben." He smiles at Jake, and it's so eager he can't help but smile back. How an adult man manages to look just like a puppy, he doesn't know, but it's clearly a skill well-practiced.

"Hey, Mav," he greets. "Thanks for inviting me."

He waves it off with little more than a shrug and nonchalant flap of his hand. "Thanks for coming down, kid."

"Don't worry, this is so much better than going home this year would've been," Jake assures. "It's supposed to snow, and believe me when I say Texans do not know how to handle their snow."

"I'm surprised you managed to get all of us," Natasha chimes in, accepting her mug from Bradley and passing another one to Maverick. The third makes its way to Jake, notably lacking in cinnamon like Natasha's, and he glances up at Bradley in confusion as Maverick continues his conversation with Natasha.

It takes Bradley a moment to notice Jake's stare, but eventually, he catches on. "What?" he asks, cocking his head slightly to the side the way he always did back in flight school.

"Was I supposed to get cinnamon, or...?"

He brightens. "Oh! Yeah, I wasn't sure if you wanted it or not. Or if you were allergic, because that happened with one of Mav's flight buddies from Top Gun back in eighty-nine, and it was not pretty. Mom was really upset about it, too."

"Huh," Jake says, blinking. "That's... not what I expected."

"I remember that!" Maverick calls, no longer in the kitchen and instead standing in front of the tree in the living room with Natasha. "Wood freaked the fuck out the entire time, and Wolf had the nerve to laugh at him, as if his life wasn't in danger." He shakes his head to himself, muttering something they're too far away to hear. Natasha, standing next to him, muffles a snort behind her hand.

Jake widens his eyes for just a moment at the snippet of an anecdote, but Bradley's already approaching with the cinnamon in hand and tapping it out over Jake's mug. "That alright?" he asks.

"It's perfect," Jake says, curling a hand around it, leaching the warmth from the ceramic. "Thank you."

Bradley nods and smiles at him. "Don't tell Payback and Fanboy when they get here," he says conspiratorially. "They'll be here in an hour, so make sure you're done before them." He winks at Jake, and he can swear that his heart stops for a moment as he stares right into the other aviator's eyes, the two of them frozen around each other.

The moment's ruined when Jake ducks into his elbow with a sneeze, his body jerking with the sudden force of it. "hDT'TZSHH!" His mug, still clutched in one hand, skates over the counter for a second and hot chocolate splashes over the edges.

"Oh, shit!" Bradley exclaims, immediately whirling around and ripping paper towel off the roll. "Did you burn yourself?"

"Don't think so," Jake murmurs. "Sorry."

Similar to Maverick earlier, Bradley waves it off. "Don't worry about it. It's just a bit of hot chocolate, and besides, I can always make more."

He smiles again, and Jake feels himself relax unconsciously, accepting the paper towel from him. "If you say so."

-

Jake wakes up the next morning feeling like shit.

Really, he should have expected this. He'd started feeling off around dinner last night, after Mickey and Reuben arrived, three hours later than they'd originally planned for, grinning and citing traffic as they placed a jug of homemade eggnog in the fridge. It hadn't been much at first, just a couple of coughs and the occasional sneeze, but congestion is pressing against his sinuses when he wakes up and the tickle in his throat is a full-blown itch. A handful of barking coughs do nothing to dislodge it, and a glance at the clock tells him it's still only seven in the morning. The rest of the Daggers are more than likely sleeping in, taking full advantage of their time off.

He sighs, sliding out of bed and not even attempting to breathe through his nose. Maybe Maverick'll have tea, and even if he doesn't, Jake could probably pester Bradley into making more hot chocolate when the younger aviator wakes up.

Jake passes by Mickey and Reuben's shared room on silent feet, smiling slightly as he hears Reuben snoring through the walls, evidently dead to the world and a content, half-asleep sigh from Mickey. He doesn't know them as well as he does Bradley and Natasha, not yet, but they seem sweet, which isn't usually a word he'd use to describe Naval aviators. Still, it fits them, far better than stubborn or intimidating or arrogant would.

Maverick and Bob are both awake when he steps into the kitchen, and the former glances up from his phone at Jake's entrance while the latter puts a kettle on the stove before glancing over to him. "Morning," Maverick says, his hair still sleep-mussed and far more casual than Jake's ever seen him. "You sleep alright?"

"Fine," Jake says, but it comes out as little more than a breath of air. He clears his throat, and tries again, but it doesn't go much better.

Maverick frowns, already standing from his chair and walking toward Jake. "Woah, kid, are you getting sick?"

"I don't think so?" he rasps, pausing to cough into his shoulder. "Honestly, Mav, I feel fine. Throat's a bit sore and I'm congested, but it's not like I've got the flu, or anything."

"A bit?" Bob questions, taking out a second mug from a cabinet without another word.

Maverick's still got a hand to Jake's forehead, and he can't even blame him for being skeptical. Their kind really doesn't have the best track record with admitting to injury, but Jake's being completely honest. He's not sick, he just feels terrible, for some arbitrary reason he can't quite pin down.

"There should be honey in the tea drawer, Bob," Maverick says, and the WSO spins on his heel to pull out the bottle. "Huh."

"What?" Jake asks.

"You're right, no fever. And nothing other than the sore throat and congestion?" he asks, clearly in full dad mode. Jake supposes that Bradley's childhood has given him more than enough practice.

He shakes his head. "Not really, no. And Bob, when'd you get here?"

"Last night," he says, scrutinizing Maverick's collection of tea. "Around eleven, I think? The snow delayed my flight. How do you feel about chamomile?"

Jake shrugs, sitting down next to Maverick. "I don't know. Not really a tea person, so just give me whatever."

"Alright," Bob says, grabbing a packet and tearing it open before dropping the bag into the mug. They're silent, only interrupted by a coughing jag from Jake that lasts half a minute too long and leaves him winded as Maverick rubs his back, wincing sympathetically.

"Easy, kid, just breathe," he says quietly, and Bob passes him a mug, honey drizzled into the bottom and not quite fully mixed in. "Are you sure you're not sick?"

"I don't feel sick, but..." He trails off, puts a finger up, and sneezes harshly into his elbow. "hh'DTZZH'uh!"

"Bless you," Maverick says, frowning again. "I'm going to see if I have DayQuil, or something; the snow's too bad for us to get anywhere today. Hopefully, that'll head off the worst of this before tomorrow."

"We can hope," Jake says, still not quite convinced he's actually sick. Maybe it's because he hasn't been sick in more than six years, or because Christmas is tomorrow, or because he really, really doesn't want to be sick. Either way, it really doesn't make a difference in the long run, does it?

-

"Okay, that's definitely not normal," Bradley says, pointing an accusatory finger straight at Jake, effectively drawing everyone's collective attention straight to him.

"What?" he asks, utterly clueless.

"Mav," Bradley calls, ignoring Jake and the others entirely. "His eyes are starting to swell, I think he's allergic to something."

He catches Maverick's mumbled, "Do not let this turn into another Leo Wolfe situation," as he walks into the living room to stare at Jake, then says, "Oh my God, this is another fucking Leo Wolfe situation!" and throws his hands up before rushing off.

Natasha, of course, laughs at him. Their whole group is seated in the living room, playing Uno to absolutely disastrous results. Bob's cursed more than Jake thought him capable of in only three rounds, and he's honestly not eager to continue with the game if this is how it's going to go. "You're killing him," she teases.

Less than ten seconds later, Maverick's chucking a pack of Zyrtec at him from the doorway and Mickey's joining Natasha in her laughter. "Take two," he demands, leaving no room for argument.

Well, at least the whole thing makes sense now.

"You know what this means, right?" Natasha asks. "We have to figure out what it is that you're actually allergic to."

"Is that really necessary?" Jake asks, popping two of the tablets out from the blister pack and throwing them back without any water, which proves to be a mistake as he almost immediately gags on them. Reuben is nice enough to shoot up from his spot on the floor and fill up a glass of water in the sink while Natasha rolls her eyes and Bradley thumps him on the back, grinning.

"Absolutely," he proclaims, without a hint of sympathy. "Don't worry, Jake, we'll make it fast. After all, we only have thirty minutes before the medication kicks in."

Jake groans into his hands, then whines, his voice slightly muffled, "Mav, they're being mean to me."

"Oh, are they?" Maverick asks, moving around Payback as he returns with a glass of water. "Bradley, are you guys being mean to Jake?"

"No!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Hey, you haven't fallen to the floor gasping and choking, so clearly it's not that bad. I think we should get to bully you a little bit," Bradley says, and do their reactions to this whole situation really go back to Mav's friend from eighty-nine? If that's the kind of baseline Maverick has for an allergic reaction, Jake's probably going to wind up getting an EpiPen stabbed in his thigh if he breathes wrong, now.

"That's fair, actually," Maverick concedes. "Have away at him."

"Mav!"

He grins. "You're on your own, kid."

Natasha cheers in victory and starts scrutinizing the room, Bradley at her side, for anything that might be triggering Jake's reaction. Bob and Mickey, thankfully, stay on the ground and just stare at the elder two aviators while Reuben raises an eyebrow at Jake, as if to say, you're really going to let them do this?

Jake shrugs. You really think I could stop them?

Fair point, Reuben concedes with a nod, then stands up to join them.

Traitor.

"Try this," Bradley says, dropping down on the couch next to him. There's a pinecone in his hand, and Jake furrows his brows.

"Where the fuck did you get this?"

"They have them outside some of the stores," Natasha explains. "They're, like, spiced pinecones or something."

Mickey finally speaks up, starting at Bradley and Natasha with abject concern painted on his features. "Guys, this seems like a bad idea."

"What do you mean, this is brilliant," Bradley says, and shoves the pinecone up to Jake's face. Jake bats it away a second later, but not before getting a strong whiff of the scent on it. It's strangely cinnamon-y, and if he focuses, he's pretty sure he can pick out nutmeg, or something like that. Regardless, it doesn't do anything.

"Try the cleaner," Natasha suggests.

"I'm not your fucking guinea pig!" Jake protests, or, at least, attempts to protest. If any of them thought Maverick was stubborn, he's got nothing on Bradley. Jake idly wonders if that's something Bradley learned from him, or if that's just how Maverick's kids are, even if Bradley's not his biologically.

(He fails to realize that in accepting this invitation, the rest of the Daggers have effectively become Maverick's kids as well.)

Natasha shoots him a dangerous smile. "Of course not," she says sweetly. "Just our friend, and you're about to learn that might be even worse."

-

"Maybe try the candle?"

The suggestion comes from Bob, who's completely given up on trying to stop the rest of them from torturing Jake. The only one still holding out is Mickey, and even then, he's mostly just ignoring them now, opting instead to help Maverick with the dinner preparation. He's been oscillating between the living room and the kitchen for the past handful of minutes, just to check up on them and to make sure Jake isn't actively dying, if only for Maverick's sake.

"It's not even lit, how the hell could it be doing anything to me?" Jake tries to fight back, but by this point, nearly twenty minutes into the Daggers searching the room and shoving random things in his face, he knows any argument on his part will be completely futile. Sighing, he leans in and sniffs the candle when Natasha holds it out to him.

It only takes a second before he wrenches to the side with a sneeze, but he can tell that the candle isn't what's causing the reaction. "TZZSH! Nope, that's not it."

"Bless you," Reuben says, petting his back sympathetically. It's telling of his exhaustion that he's actually letting the elder aviator, instead of putting up a tough front as he normally does. With three of them actively seeking out his suffering, no matter how well-intentioned they think it is, it's hard to hide how awful he feels.

"That's it, though," Natasha says as Jake sniffles tiredly. "There's nothing else that could be it."

"Should we go through them again?"

"Don't you fucking dare," Jake warns, thought it probably doesn't come off as much of a threat, what with his red and itchy his eyes are. They started tearing up about halfway through the whole ordeal, even though they're yet to identify exactly what's setting him off. The medication doesn't seem to be dong much, either, considering that he doesn't feel any better than he did this morning.

To his left, Mickey rips part of the tree from its branch, then holds it out to Natasha, who raises an eyebrow at him. "You know it's usually the other type of pine that people are allergic to, right?" she asks.

Mickey nods, still offering it to her. "Yeah, but there's nothing else that it could be. It's worth a shot."

"Alright," Natasha says, and holds the section in front of Jake's face, the same as she did with everything else. There's barely a second between the moment it's put in front of him and when he twists away to sneeze into his elbow.

"HD'TZSHH! TDSH'UU!"

"It's the fucking tree!" Bradley yells, right as Mickey whoops in victory for having been the one to figure it out. "Jake, move to the kitchen."

He doesn't waste a second in obliging, grabbing the box of tissues on his way out. Maverick's head whips around the second he enters, and his face tenses with concern. "Christ, Seresin, what happened?"

"I told you to stop them," Jake says, turning away to sneeze again. "DT'ZZSHu!"

"Bless you," Maverick says.

"HD'ZSHH!"

"And again." He scrutinizes Jake more closely for a moment, and then asks, "No hives, right? Or anything else?"

"Nothing," Jake confirms. "Just fucking itchy."

Maverick sighs. "At least you're not dying on my floor."

"Seriously, what the hell happened with your friend that one time?" he starts to ask, but he's interrupted by a resounding crash from the living room that causes him, Maverick, and Mickey, the latter of whom is peeling an apple over the compost bin, all to jump.

"We're fine!" Natasha yells.

"What did you do?" Mickey calls back, peeler still in hand as he walks into the loving room. "Oh my fucking God."

Reuben's under the tree, holding it inches above the ground while Bradley and Natasha do their best to wrestle it back to a standing position and Bob takes pictures of the three of them, giggling slightly to himself.

"What are you doing?" Maverick asks, utterly confused.

"Okay, well, you see," Bradley hedges, just as Reuben shoves the tree upwards and back to standing. He ends up with a faceful of needles, and yelps appropriately as Bob takes another picture.

"We were trying to move the tree," Natasha explains. "Jake's allergic to it, so we wanted to move it farther away from the couches so that he can still hang out in the living room with the rest of us."

Maverick only sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Why the hell didn't you ask me to do it?"

"Because you're short!" Bradley says. "And Nat's as tall as you are!"

"That doesn't mean I can't help!"

"We already have a Natasha," Bradley explains patiently, sounds like he's said this to Maverick a thousand times before. "We don't need another height-equivalent. You'd just get in the way."

Maverick splutters at that, and Bradley smirks like he's won, turning back to help Natasha and Reuben continue scooting the tree across the floor and farther away from the couches so that Jake can come back and sit with them when his allergies calm down.

It causes his chest to ache, but in a good way. Jake's not really used to people going out of their way to include him, especially not when they go so far as to move an entire goddamn Christmas tree just so that they can all still gather in the living room with him. It's so stupidly sweet of them, and he finds himself tearing up a little bit at the gesture. It goes unnoticed by everyone but Mickey, who pats him gently on the back as Maverick stands next to Natasha, presumably comparing their heights to prove a point.

"Merry Christmas, Jake," Mickey says, shooting him a small smile. The arguing from the living room is loud enough for the both of them to hear the entire thing, and it's oddly endearing to watch Bradley defend himself against Maverick's short-person anger while the rest of them—Reuben, especially—flaunt their six-foot-and-change heights over him. It should be annoying, but Jake's heart just twinges again and he feels a smile of his own cross his face.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

[quarterhearts]

i had to wait til i could get to my computer to properly respond but here's my thing: i'm constantly disappointed with the way ganondorf and the gerudo are handled in LoZ and I think it's just bad fucking lazy storytelling at best

am I surprised? honestly, no. as good as some of the storylines are I really doubt nintendo is concerned with much other than making fun little games that make them shitloads of money and it's always been the case that a lot of interpretation is left up to the players and that's fine. usually I enjoy having that leeway and I love making shit up on my own so that's all cool.

but it is pretty shitty, i think, to create a villain who comes from a specific in-game race who are VERY obviously based on real world cultures that are already not treated well by media in general (like I could get into the bullshit of making them a race of 99.9% women who instantly defer to their one male member as soon as he's born but I don't think I'm the right person for that tbh) and throw us crumbs of motivation for him that tend to be based on things like anger about the colonization and mistreatment of his people, and then still go with "oh he's an incarnation of pure evil, he's killing people, don't worry you're playing for the good guys 100%" and that's the extent of it, you've already gotten all the humanity you're going to get to see of this guy

really all i'm asking for here (aside from please i am begging you nintendo think about the implications of some of those decisions) is just a little more. i would LOVE to play a game like botw/totk, where you can find pages of backstory sometimes for NPCs you'll never even see in-game, that lets you maybe find some diaries or books, or SOMETHING with accounts from people who knew ganondorf in person. dude was raised by the gerudo, he had a childhood and presumably a family and a life, and even if it sticks with the "he was always evil" shit at least that's SOMETHING.

and if he wasn't always evil and we get to see humanity in him, does that mean that it's suddenly fine that he's evil now, that he's canonically trying to murder/harm two children in most games, that he wants to destroy everything that's considered good in the world and hurt people for whatever reason it is we're given? no, absolutely not. but back to the storytelling bit, this is a series about cycles and good and evil and sometimes it's about the feelings of frustration and futility that come with being trapped in endless cycles of life and killing and dying, and with knowing that no matter who you are and what you do the only thing you can really count on is this one inevitability. as someone who's played these games my entire life and is now an adult who is obsessed with story and character analysis, i want so badly to see it from the other side and to not HAVE to fill in those massive gaps myself.

i think most good stories give you room to question the characters who are considered heroes and to see the flaws in their motivations and plans, and i just feel like that aspect is there sometimes in LoZ but it's usually really half assed and disappointing. if i have to choose i'd much rather pass on "these characters are inherently good no matter what and the other guy deserves any terrible thing that befalls him at the hands of the heroes" and take "nobody here deserves this but there is nothing but inevitability left for them"

idk just my opinion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay but like. ganondorf was a little right. i mean i don’t think he was the right person to do it necessarily, but it wasn’t wrong of him to point out that the zonai kinda just… lowkey colonized hyrule? i know it’s framed like they “enlightened” the land with all their tech and magic and stuff, and rauru did marry a hylian and start the kingdom with her, but… idk. i see why g-dorf was pissed. there’s a conversation to be had about that aspect of the story.

unfortunately i think he is ultimately meant in every narrative to be a bloodthirsty hatefilled villain whose goal is to kill our beloved protagonist… but still…

[missusplum]

I'm worried abt the showrunner's comment that no relationships are safe in the TCL finale. I kind of hated Thony's betrayal of Arman altho you made some good points. It sounds like Thony goes rogue next ep. I really hope she doesn't betray Arman again - I think that would signal the end of their relationship which would be very frustrating to say the least. Any guesses? Tx.

Lol yeah it sure is a hell of a tease eh. I mean your guess is as good as mine re: which relationships she’s talking about so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have more thoughts on Thony this week under the cut:

I honestly think her ‘betraying’ Arman has been a bit overblown, at least only judging by what went down this week. Was it harsh to question Arman? Sure maybe? But I dunno she wasn’t exactly wrong, the drugs were already on the way via Kamdar, vs. all the variables and unknowns that would come up if he died and they had to find their own way to get to the drugs. Like imo it was less about not trusting Arman vs. going with the sure thing for the sake of Luca. I hated seeing them fight but both had points tbh.

And as for Thony keeping Kamdar alive, well I mean I see it less of a betrayal as much as a clear crossroads of motivations. Thony was extremely clear with everyone that she couldn’t have Kamdar die, and also mind you she spent basically all day trying to reach out to Arman who ignored her. And per her scene with Nadia, she was really just asking them to *wait* — wait until the drugs were secured for Luca. When they kept blowing her off, she was pretty much left in a desperate situation. And also let’s not forget that before Kamdar collapsed, Thony was at Fastlane to beg for Arman’s life. She never betrayed them by giving up their plot to kill him, she was just trying to find another way. Which by the way has always been what she’s tried to do, it’s just in this episode it didn’t work out as nicely as it has in the past.

The only real bad thing she did to Arman was siccing an emotional Miller on him and she didn’t even know the extent of what she was doing. She had no idea they found Arman’s print on the gun, she had no idea the danger she was putting him in. She’s certainly guilty of being myopic but not intentionally putting him in harm’s way.

I do want to bring up that the more I sit on it, the more annoyed I get at Nadia gaslighting Thony about equating keeping Kamdar alive to killing Arman. Obviously I understand it’s out of concern for Arman but like what is she supposed to do with that lol. It literally puts Thony in an impossible situation. And notice how it’s not Arman who says this to her because he knows who Thony would choose. This is why I don’t think their relationship will be that strained coming out of ep 10. Ultimately Thony choosing Luca over Arman, over anyone, should be the least surprising thing. As much as we all would love to see Armony, people ought to remember the reason Thony got into the mob business in the first place. She would sacrifice anyone and anything for Luca, even herself.

To be clear, like I said in a previous post, I didn’t agree with Thony’s choices this episode, but at least I can see what drove her to make those decisions. I also think it was very deliberate writing how almost every character pushed back on Thony this episode; I think the writing made it clear that she’s trying to control everything and failing. It’s really her hubris; thinking that she can outsmart everyone and can control how everything goes down (which btw definitely plays into her past as a surgeon). But reality isn’t like an OR and people are wildcards and she cannot possibly see all the angles and things won’t always work out exactly how she wants. I think that’s the main takeaway from ep 10 and going into the final two hours of the season. As far as the episode synopsis for the finale, with everything leading up to it (JD’s voice of reason, a certain character in an orange jumpsuit in the promo, the looming danger of Sin Cara), my initial thought is Thony’s plan is less about throwing other people utb as it is about herself. But yeah who knows lol.

One last thing I’ll say is… I’m like 90% sure that if a character does die in the finale, it won’t be anyone without a penis lmao 🙊 I don’t have any insider knowledge, I just can’t see this show offing any of the women. But I mean yeah if you’re a man in TCL or a boy I would watch your fictional backs 😬

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Content note for discussions of eternal damnation, and all sorts of other shit that will trigger a lot of folks with religious trauma.

Before I get started I might as well explain where I’m coming from - unlike a lot of She-Ra fans, and a lot of queer people, I don’t have much religious trauma, or any, maybe (okay there were a number of years I was convinced I was going to hell, but that happens to everyone, right?). I was raised a liberal Christian by liberal Christian parents in the Episcopal Church, where most of my memories are overwhelmingly positive. Fuck, growing up in the 90’s, Chuch was probably the only place outside my home I didn’t have homophobia spewed at me. Because it was the 90’s and it was a fucking hellscape of bigotry where 5 year olds knew enough to taunt each other with homophobic slurs and the adults didn’t know enough to realize how fucked up that was. Anyway. This is my experience, but it is an atypical one, and I know it. Quite frankly I know that my experience of Christianity has very little at all to do with what most people experienced, or what people generally mean when they talk about Christianity as a cultural force in America today. So if you were raised Christian and you don’t recognize your theology here, congrats, neither do I, but these ideas and cultural forces are huge and powerful and dominant. And it’s this dominant Christian narrative that I’m referring to in this post. As well as, you know, a children’s cartoon about lesbian rainbow princesses. So here it goes. This is going to get batshit.

"All events whatsoever are governed by the secret counsel of God." - John Calvin

“We’re all just a bunch of wooly guys” - Noelle Stevenson

This is a post triggered by a single scene, and a single line. It’s one of the most fucked-up scenes in She-Ra, toward the end of Save the Cat. Catra, turned into a puppet by Prime, struggles with her chip, desperately trying to gain control of herself, so lost and scared and vulnerable that she flings aside her own death wish and her pride and tearfully begs Adora to rescue her. Adora reaches out , about to grab her, and then Prime takes control back, pronounces ‘disappointing’ and activates the kill switch that pitches Catra off the platform and to her death (and seriously, she dies here, guys - also Adora breaks both her legs in the fall). But before he does, he dismisses Catra with one of his most chilling lines. “Some creatures are meant only for destruction.”

And that’s when everyone watching probably had their heart broken a little bit, but some of the viewers raised in or around Christianity watching the same scene probably whispered ‘holy shit’ to themselves. Because Prime’s line - which works as a chilling and callous dismissal of Catra - is also an allusion to a passage from the Bible. In fact, it’s from one of the most fucked up passages in a book with more than its share of fucked up passages. It’s from Romans 9:22, and I’m going to quote several previous verses to give the context of the passage (if not the entire Epistle, which is more about who needs to abide by Jewish dietary restrictions but was used to construct a systematic theology in the centuries afterwards because people decided it was Eternal Truth).

19 Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?

20 Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?

21 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?

22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:

The context of the allusion supports the context in the show. Prime is dismissing Catra - serial betrayer, liar, failed conqueror, former bloody-handed warlord - as worthless, as having always been worthless and fit only to be destroyed. He is speaking from a divine and authoritative perspective (because he really does think he’s God, more of this in my TL/DR Horde Prime thing). Prime is echoing not only his own haughty dismissal of Catra, and Shadow Weaver’s view of her, but also perhaps the viewer’s harshest assessment of her, and her own worst fears about herself. Catra was bad from the start, doomed to destroy and to be destroyed. A malformed pot, cracked in firing, destined to be shattered against a wall and have her shards classified by some future archaeologist 2,000 years later. And all that’s bad enough.

But the full historical and theological context of this passage shows the real depth of Noelle Stevenson’s passion and thought and care when writing this show. Noelle was raised in Evangelical or Fundamentalist Christianity. To my knowledge, he has never specified what sect or denomination, but in interviews and her memoir Noelle has shown a particular concern for questions that this passage raises, and a particular loathing for the strains of Protestant theology that take this passage and run with it - that is to say, Calvinism. So while I’m not sure if Noelle was raised as a conservative, Calvinist Presbyterian, his preoccupation with these questions mean that it’s time to talk about Calvinism.

It would be unfair, perhaps, to say that Calvinism is a systematic theology built entirely upon the Epistles of Romans and Galatians, but only -just- (and here my Catholic readers in particular will chuckle to themselves and lovingly stroke their favorite passage of the Epistle of James). The core of Calvinist Doctrine is often expressed by the very Dutch acronym TULIP:

Total Depravity - people are wholly evil, and incapable of good action or even willing good thoughts or deeds

Unconditional Election - God chooses some people to save because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, not because they did anything to deserve, trigger or accept it

Limited Atonement - Jesus died only to save the people God chose to save, not the rest of us bastards

Irresistible Grace - God chooses some people to be saved - if you didn’t want to be saved, too bad, God said so.

Perseverance of the Saints - People often forget this one and assume it’s ‘predestination’ but it’s actually this - basically, once saved by God, always saved, and if it looks like someone falls out of grace, they were never saved to begin with. Well that’s all sealed up tight I guess.

Reading through these, predestination isn’t a single doctrine in Calvinism but the entire theological underpinnings of it together with humanity’s utter powerlessness before sin. Basically God has all agency, humanity has none. Calvinism (and a lot of early modern Protestantism) is obsessed with questions of how God saves people (grace alone, AKA Sola Fides) and who God saves (the people god elects and only the people God elects, and fuck everyone else).

It’s apparent that Noelle was really taken by these questions, and repelled by the answers he heard. He’s alluded to having a tattoo refuting the Gospel passage about Sheep and Goats being sorted at the end times, affirming instead that ‘we’re all just a bunch of wooly guys’ (you can see this goat tattoo in some of his self-portraits in comics, etc). He’s also mentioned that rejecting and subverting destiny is a huge part of everything he writes as a particular rejection of the idea that some individual people are 'chosen' by God or that God has a plan for any of us. You can see that -so clearly- in Adora’s arc, where Adora embraces and then rejects destiny time and again and finally learns to live life for herself.

But for Catra, we’re much more concerned about the most negative aspect of this - the idea that some people are vessels meant for destruction. And that’s something else that Noelle is preoccupied with. In her memoir in the section about leaving the church and becoming a humanistic atheist, there is a drawing of a pot and the question ‘Am I a vessel prepared for destruction?’ Obviously this was on Noelle’s mind (And this is before he came out to himself as queer!).

To look at how this question plays out in Catra’s entire arc, let’s first talk about how ideas of damnation and salvation actually play out in society. And for that I’m going to plug one of my favorite books, Gin Lun’s Damned Nation: Hell in America from the Revolution to Reconstruction (if you can tell by now, I am a fucking blast at parties). Lun tells the long and very interesting story about, how ideas of hell and who went there changed during the Early American Republic. One of the interesting developments that she talks about is how while at first people who were repelled by Calvinism started moving toward a doctrine of universal salvation (no on goes to hell, at least not forever*), eventually they decided that hell was fine as long as only the right kind of people went there. Mostly The Other - non-Christian foreigners, Catholics, Atheists, people who were sinners in ways that were not just bad but weird and violated Victorian ideas of respectability. Really, Hell became a way of othering people, and arguably that’s how it survives today, especially as a way to other queer people (but expanding this is slated for my Montero rant). Now while a lot of people were consciously rejecting Calvinist predestination, they were still drawing the distinction between the Elect (good, saved, worthwhile) and the everyone else (bad, damned, worthless). I would argue that secularized ideas of this survive to this day even among non-Christian spaces in our society - we like to draw lines between those who Elect, and those who aren’t.

And that’s what brings us back to Catra. Because Catra’s entire arc is a refutation of the idea that some people are worthless and irredeemable, either by nature, nurture or their own actions. Catra’s actions strain the conventions of who is sympathetic in a Kid’s cartoon - I’ve half joked that she’s Walter White as a cat girl, and it’s only half a joke. She’s cruel, self-deluded, she spends 4 seasons refusing to take responsibility for anything she does and until Season 5 she just about always chooses the thing that does the most damage to herself and others. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, the show goes out of its way to demonstrate that Catra is morally culpable in every step of her descent into evil (except maybe her break with reality just before she pulls the lever). The way that Catra personally betrays everyone around her, the way she strips herself of all of her better qualities and most of what makes her human, hell even her costume changes would signal in any other show that she’s irredeemable.

It’s tempting to see this as Noelle’s version of being edgy - pushing the boundaries of what a sympathetic character is, throwing out antiheroics in favor of just making the villain a protagonist. Noelle isn’t quite Alex ‘I am in the business of traumatizing children’ Hirsch, who seems to have viewed his job as pushing the bounds of what you could show on the Disney Channel (I saw Gravity Falls as an adult and a bunch of that shit lives rent free in my nightmares forever), but Noelle has his own dark side, mostly thematically. The show’s willingness to deal with abuse, and messed up religious themes, and volatile, passionate, not particularly healthy relationships feels pretty daring. I’m not joking when I gleefully recommend this show to friends as ‘a couple from a Mountain Goats Song fights for four seasons in a cartoon intended for 9 year olds’. Noelle is in his own way pushing the boundaries of what a kids show can do. If you read Noelle’s other works like Nimona, you see an argument for Noelle being at least a bit edgy. Nimona is also angry, gleefully destructive, violent and spiteful - not unlike Catra. Given that it was a 2010s webcomic and not a kids show, Nimona is a good deal worse than Catra in some ways - Catra doesn’t kill people on screen, while Nimona laughs about it (that was just like, a webcomic thing - one of the fan favorite characters in my personal favorite, Narbonic, was a fucking sociopath, and the heroes were all amoral mad scientists, except for the superintelligent gerbil**). But unlike Nimona, whose fate is left open ended, Catra is redeemed.

And that is weird. We’ve had redemption arcs, but generally not of characters with -so- much vile stuff in their history. Going back to the comparison between her and Azula, many other shows, like Avatar, would have made Catra a semi-sympathetic villain who has a sob-story in their origin but who is beyond redemption, and in so doing would articulate a kind of psychologized Calvinism where some people are too traumatized to ever be fully and truly human. I’d argue this is the problem with Azula as a character - she’s a fun villain, but she doesn’t have moral agency, and the ultimate message of her arc - that she’s a broken person destined only to hurt people - is actually pretty fucked up. And that’s the origin story of so many serial killers and psycopaths that populate so many TV shows and movies. Beyond ‘hurt people hurt people’ they have nothing to teach us except perhaps that trauma makes you a monster and that the only possible response to people doing bad things is to cut them out of your life and out of our society (and that’s why we have prisons, right?)

And so Catra’s redemption and the depths from which she claws herself back goes back to Noelle’s desire to prove that no person is a vessel ‘fitted for destruction.’ Catra goes about as far down the path of evil as we’ve ever seen a protagonist in a kids show go, and she still has the capacity for good. Importantly, she is not subject to total depravity - she is capable of a good act, if only one at first. Catra is the one who begins her own redemption (unlike in Calvinism, where grace is unearned and even unwelcomed) - because she wants something better than what she has, even if its too late, because she realizes that she never wanted any of this anyway, because she wants to do one good thing once in her life even if it kills her.

The very extremity of Catra’s descent into villainy serves to underline the point that Noelle is trying to make - that no one can be written off completely, that everyone is capable of change, and that no human being is garbage, no matter how twisted they’ve become. Meanwhile her ability to set her own redemption in motion is a powerful statement of human agency, and healing, and a refutation of Calvinism’s idea that we are powerless before sin or pop cultural tropes about us being powerful before the traumas of our upbringing. Catra’s arc, then, is a kind of anti-Calvinist theological statement - about the nature of people and the nature of goodness.

Now, there is a darker side to this that Noelle has only hinted at, but which is suggested by other characters on the show. Because while Catra’s redemption shows that people are capable of change, even when they’ve done horrible things, been fucked up and fucked themselves up, it also illustrates the things people do to themselves that make change hard. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, two of the most sinister parts of her descent into villainy are her self-dehumanization (crushing her own compassion and desire to do good) and her rewriting of her own history in her speech and memory to make her own actions seem justified (which we see with her insistence that Adora left her, eliding Adora’s offers to have Catra join her, or her even more clearly false insistence that Entrapta had betrayed them). In Catra, these processes keep her going down the path of evil, and allow her to nearly destroy herself and everyone else. But we can see the same processes at work in two much darker figures - Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime. These are both rants for another day, but the completeness of Shadow Weaver’s narcissistic self-justification and cultivated callousness and the even more complete narcissism of Prime’s god complex cut both characters off from everyone around them. Perhaps, in a theoretical sense, they are still redeemable, but for narrative purposes they might as well be damned.

This willingness to show a case where someone -isn’t- redeemed actually serves to make Catra’s redemption more believable, especially since Noelle and the writers draw the distinction between how Catra and SW/Prime can relate to reality and other people, not how broken they are by their trauma (unlike Zuko and Azula, who are differentiated by How Fucked Uolp They Are). Redemption is there, it’s an option, we can always do what is right, but someone people will choose not to, in part because doing the right thing involves opening ourselves to the world and others, and thus being vulnerable. Noelle mentions this offhandedly in an interview after Season 1 with the She-Ra Progressive of Power podcast - “I sometimes think that shades of grey, sympathetic villains are part of the escapist fantasy of shows like this.” Because in the real world, some people are just bastards, a point that was particularly clear in 2017. Prime and Shadow Weaver admit this reality, while Catra makes a philosophical point that even the bastards can change their ways (at least in theory).

*An idea first proposed in the second century by Origen, who’s a trip and a fucking half by himself, and an idea that becomes the Catholic doctrine of purgatory, which protestants vehemently denied!

**Speaking of favorite Noelle tropes

[outside-cry]

📖 The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System, Volumes 2, 3, & 4; 🖋 Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Vol. 2 finished 10/25/22, Vol. 3 finished 11/9/22, Vol. 4 finished 12/1/22

📔: Putting the rest of the series in one post because I honestly don’t remember what happens in which book, and really, I don’t need to make three separate posts for this truly insane series ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu are the definition of you two really deserve each other (derogatory). I don’t even know how to give a good summary for this series msjbdhsjdn 

Sad skillful little orphan boy Luo Binghe who is on the trajectory to be hot boy stallion novel protagonist with like 18 wives and a bad temper, gets teacher-addled when Shen Qingqiu does all he can to not be the scum villain of the novel so he doesn’t die horribly. So then, obviously, Luo Binghe grows up not to be the hunky husband of a harem, but a hunky So Very Gay boy in love with Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu is oblivious to all of these proceedings. 

We have demon worlds opening, hot lesbian girl demons, lotssssss of clothes ripping, Luo Binghe torturing nations for the chance at pinning down Shen Qingqiu in a water prison. 

The sex scenes in the third and fourth book did take 10-12 year off of my life. The first time they fuck, without spoiling anything I will just tell you it is bat shit off the walls ….. in the last book there is boofing of magic sex wine and that’s NOT the most insane sex scene, if that tells you anything. 

Thank you MXTX you are so terrifying to my brain. Also grateful to all the girlies writing fanfic for bingqiu that is just as off the walls as this canon. I will definitely miss this series but probably good for my mental health that I’ve finished it lol

[kurowrites]

Aviophobia

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

---

It wasn’t like Wei Ying particularly hated air travel, not at all. After all, it was still the most practical way to travel long distances, and the distance between China and Europe was definitely long. The problem was that though he had just sat down in his seat, he was already horrifically bored. The airplane hadn’t even finished boarding yet, and there were around ten hours of flight still in front of him, and he couldn’t wait to arrive at his destination already.

He wasn’t looking forward to the flight, not least because he didn’t actually want to leave. After a year of not seeing her, Wei Ying had finally been able to take some time off and visit his sister, who had been living abroad with her stupid, loaded husband. He’d spent two weeks with Jiang Yanli and his little nephew, and it had been so good to see them again. A-Ling had grown so much! But now, a lot of work was waiting for him back at home, and he really needed to return, not sure when they would be able to meet the next time. That, he definitely wasn’t happy about.

Wei Ying distractedly fidgeted around in his seat, trying to keep in mind that it was no use to take out his laptop now, because the flight attendants would ask him to pack it up again for take-off in a few minutes. He had taken a book with him, anticipating this situation, but right now, the book seemed so unappealing he couldn’t even be bothered to unpack it from his backpack.

Come on, he mentally urged the passengers who were still moving along the aisles in search of their seat like a group of very slow snails, move faster, so we can leave.

Despite his best efforts, the other passengers did not speed up their pace, and so Wei Ying was cursed to sit there and wait until everyone was seated. He tried not to notice the usual offenders that managed to get in everyone’s way and blocked everything with their luggage, and tried to relax (rather unsuccessfully).

As he was idly watching the passengers pass him by, he caught a flash of white that caught his attention. Just when he was sure that his eyes were playing a trick on him, a man in a pristine white suit separated from the crowd and sat down right next to him. He pushed his briefcase under the front seat, fastened his seat belt, nodded to Wei Ying once, and then directed his glance straight forward, turning into a beautiful marble statue.

Wei Ying tried not to stare at his new neighbour too conspicuously, but he couldn’t really help it. The man seemed to be horribly out of place here in economy class, with a tailor-made white suit that very obviously was of high quality and therefore very expensive. His face equally set him apart from the other passengers, with a noble look and a bone structure that looked more suited to the cover of a fashion magazine. Wei Ying, in a simple hoody, soft jacket, and old jeans that were selected specifically for comfort purposes (after all, he would have to vegetate in them for ten hours), wondered how this unicorn had gotten lost among the common folk.

His seatmate was incredibly handsome, obviously wealthy, and… extremely stiff.

When the flight attendant finally announced that boarding had been completed, and that they were waiting for permission to proceed to the runway, the man next to him put his hands on both armrests, and for a second, Wei Ying was ready to be offended that this man hogged all the armrests for himself without consideration for the other passengers.

Then he noticed the man’s knuckles going white, his hands holding on to the armrests as if…

Wei Ying looked at the man’s face again. He was still staring straight ahead, his handsome face expressionless, his breath deep and controlled.

His eyes were fixed at some indeterminate point in the distance, and their focus did not waver at all.  

And they weren’t even moving yet.

Oh dear, Wei Ying thought to himself. Someone is not a fan of flying, huh.

He knew that a lot of people probably wouldn’t appreciate his meddling, but then again, he couldn’t sit there and do nothing while his neighbour was counting breaths or whatever the fuck he was doing to calm himself down. He wasn’t going to sit next to this man for the next several hours and pretend that he didn’t notice that this person was very obviously panicking.

So he reached out, and carefully put his own hand over the one currently clutching at their shared armrest.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said, as quietly as he could. “You’re not alone, and you’re going to be fine.”

The man sucked in a shocked breath the moment Wei Ying touched him.

Wei Ying was ready to draw back and apologise for his unrequested interference, Maybe he shouldn’t have touched him, maybe he had misread–

The hand under his turned around and grasped his own, holding him fast.

“I apologise,” the stranger replied in a faint tone of voice. “For my unseemly display.”

Wei Ying laughed quietly, relief washing over him.

“It’s alright,” he replied conversationally. “We all have our little burdens to carry. As for me, I am deadly afraid of dogs, and I will jump into your arms when I see one. Not that I have much shame to begin with, but my fear of dogs is definitely bigger than any shame I might have. There will be screaming and a general amount of unnecessary, very ugly drama.”

That, finally, had the stranger remove his gaze from the undetermined point in the distance he had settled on, and he turned towards Wei Ying.

Wow.

Wei Ying had been woefully underprepared for this event. The man was even more handsome, facing him directly, and Wei Ying was sure he had never seen such beautiful eyes.

How, he wondered again, had this man ended up in economy class? He should be flying a private plane, not panicking next to Wei Ying on a commercial flight. He should be someone’s trophy husband.

“Dogs?” the man asked him, as if a fear of dogs wasn’t an entirely normal phobia to have.

“Yes,” Wei Ying replied earnestly. “Have you seen them? So fast, and they make so much noise all the time, and their teeth. Ugh. It’s a completely rational fear to have!”

By now, the plane had moved onto the runway, and was starting the jets up.

The man clutched at Wei Ying’s hand almost painfully as the plane started to vibrate, but surprisingly, he did not look away from Wei Ying, steadily holding Wei Ying’s gaze.

“Well, so is a fear of flying, I guess,” Wei Ying mused as the airplane began to move. “But think about this: it’s far more likely to get mauled by a dog than to get involved in a plane accident. There are dogs everywhere, and you never know when one is going to come around a corner! And some owners really don’t know to handle their dogs. So, you see. My fear is much more rational than yours. Also, I did get mauled by several dogs in the past, you know. It’s not even a theoretical fear for me, I know exactly what those bastards are capable of. Dogs are horrible. Not to mention that it’s too late to do anything about your fear now, anyway. Look. We’ve taken off.”

The man kept clutching his hand and stared at him without replying. Wei Ying didn’t know if he even heard anything Wei Ying had said, what with the noise and the pressure in their ears. But the stranger never looked away, and he never let go of Wei Ying’s hand, so that was good, he thought.

Eventually, when the airplane had gained enough height to level off slightly, and the pressure on the diminished, his handsome neighbour finally let out a deep breath and turned his gaze away.

Wei Ying felt almost disappointed to be relieved of the heavy weight of his gaze.

As he had said, the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

“Ridiculous,” his neighbour murmured, eventually, after a long period of silence.

Wei Ying laughed.

“Hello Ridiculous,” he greeted, shaking their still-connected hands playfully. “My name is Wei Ying.”

The man’s head whipped around, and he sent him a positively offended look.

And then, after a beat of silence, he said,

“Lan Zhan.”

---

It needed some careful prodding and digging, but eventually, Wei Ying found out that Lan Zhan the reason why Lan Zhan was on this plain at all was because he had taken over the business trip as a favour to his older brother, who had been unable to travel.

Wei Ying felt the need to tease him for his self-sacrificing sense of familial piety, but he didn’t quite dare to tease Lan Zhan about it. After all, Lan Zhan had done a good thing, at the cost of his own suffering.

Lan Zhan was already bad enough when it came to flying as it was, but then someone had made a mistake with the booking, and he had been booked to fly economy rather than business class on his return trip. Lan Zhan, already at the airport and very troubled by the notion of having to fly, period, had not had the energy to discuss the mistake in his booking and decided to keep his assigned seat. After all, it hardly made any difference whether he was flying business or economy. He would spend the entire flight terrified, either way.

“Well, it was very lucky you ended up choosing economy,” Wei Ying mused. “Now you have a free emotional support pet for the entire flight.”

He grinned cheekily and wiggled Lan Zhan’s hand, still safely encased in his own.

Lan Zhan frowned at the joke.

“I thank you,” he replied regardless. “It is… much easier with you here. But I do not wish to trouble you with my… unfortunate condition.”

What a polite, honest man!

Wei Ying was delighted.

“It’s no trouble at all! You saved me from hours and hours of boredom, so it’s really not just you that’s profiting from this. Are you going to be fine when I have to go to the bathroom though?”

Lan Zhan frowned again, but nodded once.

“Good, good,” Wei Ying praised. “And if you wait for me very nicely, I’m going to get us some snacks from the kitchen. They never bring out the chocolate, which is a crime, really.”

---

In the end, after Wei Ying wheedled out information about Lan Zhan’s job and life for what felt like hours, Lan Zhan managed to relax enough to doze off for a little bit, and they spent the rest of their flight in a repeating pattern of chatting, dozing off, and then being woken up to be served questionable airplane meals.

When they finally touched down at their destination (Lan Zhan once again clutching Wei Ying’s hand as if it was the only lifeline that he had – and Wei Ying trying not to be too happy about that), they took their carry-on luggage and slowly ambled out of the plane, moving towards the baggage claim with the rest of the passengers.

Lan Zhan, as soon as he was out of the airplane and on solid ground again, straightened up and took on a confident stance.

Wei Ying was a little bit in awe. He looked even more handsome and formidable now, in his still pristine white suit. He was even taller than Wei Ying had first thought, definitely taller than Wei Ying, and Wei Ying mused whether there was anything about this man that wasn’t awe-inspiring.

(Well, there was that small case of aviophobia, but who could blame him for that, really.)

Wei Ying felt his hand twitch, and he sternly told himself that it was silly to wish for them to continue holding hands, now that they were out of the plane.

“Well,” he said awkwardly as he grabbed his luggage off the conveyor belt. He wasn’t quite willing to say his goodbyes yet, but he was equally unable to think of any reason to hold on to Lan Zhan’s company for a little longer. “I had a good time on our flight, Lan Zhan. Well. I guess you don’t really want to hear that. You probably had a horrible time. For your sake, I hope that you won’t come close to any planes for a while.”

“Wei Ying, too,” Lan Zhan replied. “For your sake, I hope that you will not meet any dogs suddenly coming around corners. So that you don’t have to leap into anyone’s arms.”

Wei Ying gaped, and as he stared at Lan Zhan in disbelief, he noticed the smallest uptick of Lan Zhan’s lips.

“Ayoo!” he cried. “Lan Zhan, are you teasing me? Look at you, all confident now that you are back on solid ground! Be a little more grateful to your emotional support pet!”

Lan Zhan nonchalantly picked his (very small, compared to Wei Ying’s big, lumpy one) suitcase up from the conveyor belt, and placed it next to his feet.

“I am grateful,” Lan Zhan said, serious again. “I have a car waiting for me outside. You are welcome to join me. I will drop you off anywhere in the city. As a sign of my gratitude.”

“Mmm,” Wei Ying made a considering noise. He didn’t want to say goodbye yet, not when Lan Zhan made him such a nice offer. But then, he was also really hungry.  

“I would love to get chauffeured around, but to be honest, I was planning on getting some decent coffee and a nice breakfast somewhere first. The food in that plane was horrible and I’m not functional without decent coffee.”

Lan Zhan was quiet for a moment.

“Can you wait for half an hour?”

“Huh?”

But before Wei Ying could ask him to elaborate, Lan Zhan was already herding Wei Ying towards the exit. He somehow managed to argue Wei Ying into accepting the car ride (Lan Zhan didn’t even argue, how that worked, Wei Ying sure didn’t know), and then Lan Zhan drove him to the nicest little shop for the most delicious breakfast that Wei Ying could have possibly wished for.

He was ravenous by the time they arrived, but he definitely wasn’t in a mood to complain as soon as the first delicious whiff of fresh coffee and food met his nose in welcome.

Lan Zhan was very attentive as they sat down to eat, generously plying Wei Ying with coffee, and letting him pick all his favourite foods. Wei Ying also learned that when Lan Zhan wasn’t scared for his life, he was remarkably smart and funny. It was so easy to get comfortable with him that Wei Ying had a hard time believing that they had never met until just one day ago.  

Lan Zhan was fun.

“Lan Zhan, you’re joking,” Wei Ying laughed, playfully swatting at Lan Zhan’s arm. “Your first serious family fight was because of rabbits?”

“They were very cute,” Lan Zhan replied seriously, insistent on the point.

Wei Ying leaned forward eagerly, meeting Lan Zhan’s serious mien with a big grin.

“And then, what happened with them?” Wei Ying asked. “Did your uncle cook them in a pot? Were you forced to eat rabbit stew?”

“The fourth generation now lives in my back garden.”

Wei Ying gasped. “You kept them?”

Lan Zhan showed the barest twitch of his lips. “Of course.”

Wei Ying nearly slid under the table at the sight of Lan Zhan’s proud little smile.

If Lan Zhan was trying to seduce him, then Wei Ying would consider himself sufficiently seduced by now.

Goodness gracious, that smile was criminal!

And he was the proud owner of a hoard of rabbits!

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he sighed, shaking his head. “You are a veritable little rebel. But, speaking from one pet to another, there is no way you can only tell me about your rabbits and not show them to me. That would be very rude.”

And on Wei Ying’s request, Lan Zhan took out his phone and showed Wei Ying his rabbit children. And then, since he had his phone out already, he shared his contact with Wei Ying. And when they had finished their breakfast, Lan Zhan led him back to the car and drove him home to his apartment, as promised.

When Wei Ying opened the door of the parked car, ready to hop out Lan Zhan stopped him.

“Thank you, Wei Ying,” he said, his beautiful, serious eyes gazing at Wei Ying steadily, as he had done in the plane. “For your help.”

Wei Ying laughed, and rubbed his nose.

God, he really liked the way that Lan Zhan looked at him.  

“For what it’s worth,” he replied quickly, “I’m willing to be Lan Zhan’s emotional support pet anytime.”

And then, because he felt like was too presumptuous and said too much, he hopped out of the car, grabbed his luggage, and weaselled away, to the safety of his apartment.

Once the door of the apartment was closed and his luggage thrown into a corner, he took a deep breath. He dug his phone out of his jacket to inform Jiang Yanli of his save arrival. She was probably wondering why he hadn’t sent her a message yet.

When he unlocked the phone, as expected, there was a message from his sister, asking him if he had arrived safely. However, before he could send a reply, his phone pinged with another message. A message not from Jiang Yanli.

[Lan Zhan, 11.46 am] I’ll take you by your word, Wei Ying. I might have to rely on your services again.

Suddenly, Wei Ying was glad that no one could see him here, hiding behind the door of his own apartment, as he blushed as red as a tomato.

This man!