#so now i've got individual chapter files

[auburnlaughter]

Glad you found a workaround. Thanks for the request!

WIP Wednesday The White Tayra (original story)

Sorting flight crystals was one of the few things in the engine room the Olivia couldn't do, though she'd overseen the work often enough. Anyone who worked in a sky-ship engine room had to be able to see flight crystal flaws, but Olivia's eyes weren't as keen as most who got jobs as crystal technicians. While she could see major flaws well enough to tell if any crystals in the engines had been pushed too far and needed replacing, she didn't have the eye for detail needed to detect smaller flaws, the kind that could be so devastating when coupled with the bumps and jolts of the cargo hold where the unused crystals were stored.

@auburnlaughter tumblr hates me, so this is me requesting Worse than the Kachi for WIP Wednesday please!

[luvvixu]

the end

synopsis: the end of your relationship was inevitable. that's why both of you and gojo satoru individually prepare yourselves against the pain and separation of an upcoming divorce. and when that thing came, you suddenly found yourselves trapped inside the circle of your marriage where denial is present, and acceptance is absent. let us all see how the marriage walk through the end.

tags: divorce!au, ex-husband!gojo, angst, hurt/no comfort, mentioned of death, mentioned of trauma, read at your own risk

a/n: here's an almost 8k words of oneshot about gojo marriage again. i've mentioned this before but im taking a very small break and will be back on june 5 with an update regarding to the chapter of mind over matter ff. be sure to check out the announcement!

it was a peaceful morning on your balcony with satoru gojo, your husband for almost two years. you are reading your newly purchased book with your glasses on to help you see the letters.

you take a second peek at your husband who was already gazing at you from the beginning. his gaze was painted with a mixture of sadness and adoration towards you. looks like he had something to say, and you're right, he did have something to say when he mumbles your name.

oh god, you knew where this conversation would be. keeping your eyes bore on him, you fully turned your attention to him and waited for him to speak what's on his heart and mind.

"i think we should file a divorce."

his voice was monotonous and yet you knew it really wasn't, his face also did the same since you also didn't hold one either. your expression still remained calm like he was not asking for a divorce as you closed your book and then put it back on the coffee table.

meanwhile, satoru couldn't read you at this moment because you were quiet, too quiet for his liking. were you so shocked that you couldn't react to his sudden cut of ties? or was it just you already expected this the moment when you woke up?

probably, the most accurate reason and answer was the second one. satoru watches you lean on the seat with your hands clasp on your lap. he also never fails to see the neutral glaze in your eyes.

"if you are wondering why i didn't hold any emotion as you speak, that's because i already reacted a year ago." a sigh escalated from your lips as you removed your glasses also and put it on the table.

"you expected that this day would come?" he said in silence while secretly fiddling with the calluses on his hand—a hidden and canonical habit of satoru whenever he feels anxious and worried.

before this day would come, the two of you got married when both of you were twenty. a young, dumb, and somehow not stupid but definitely reckless who took a big tramp of change among themselves.

satoru was the one who asked you to get married after almost four years of being inside an on and off relationship. that was very fast and very reckless at that time—but of course you agreed because you are a fool to get yourself blinded by your love towards him.

so, the two of you got married and with only some people whom you both held close dearly attended the said wedding. it was simple and civil, but to you, it was your everything. the wedding and this marriage mean so much to you.

your marriage went pretty well in your first few months of being married. both of you got yourself a house with a nice garden that you absolutely adore, you also got yourselves a work almost instantly too. satoru got more missions since he was now a graduate, while you work in your own cafe and occasionally take jujutsu stuff.

things were really fine with heaven as the witness. until one night during your almost first anniversary, you caught him going home around three to four o'clock in the morning with a smell of alcohol and woman's perfume that's definitely not yours. he's really drunk, which was weird because he hates alcohol. you wondered what's the occasion or any celebration that should be celebrated and whatnots, but you can't think of any. so that leads you to silently crying.

you did not confront him about your first suspicion of cheating, you want him to admit it himself, but that doesn't mean you're going to tolerate that piece of shit because for god's sake! there's a fucking hickey on his neck that night, you knew it wasn't yours since you've barely had an intercourse due to both of your busy schedules.

you remember asking him about his whereabouts that night like you weren't aware, but his answer just disappoints you, he told you that he had an emergency mission and needed him in action asap at kyoto around 11pm and it took him some time to finish it. as mentioned before, his answer disappoints you, because your assumption has been partially proven.

satoru was clearly lying about his whereabouts that night but still the cheating allegations were not clear. maybe the seemingly foreign hickeys on his neck was already evidence but you're probably still in denial, so you didn't instantly conclude that he was really cheating with you.

but you still couldn't shake off his illicit affairs. why? because satoru was lying about the emergency mission on kyoto. he wasn't there, you knew that because you were the one who took the mission, not him. satoru actually rejected the mission because he's busy with other matters so you took it yourself without even telling him.

all of these things that are happening leads you back to that day when he proposed to you. it was so sudden that it made you a little bit skeptical. but when you asked him why he suddenly asked you to get married? easy, you didn't know.

however, you had your hypothesis that after geto disappeared and went on his rebellious phase, you let gojo use you to relieve his grief. that is why when you realize that this marriage is meant to not last long, you secretly cry to yourself during your first year anniversary as a married couple.

meanwhile, satoru knew to himself that he couldn't stand a long-term relationship. though he also started to feel bad for making things go very quickly with you, his love towards you is pure and genuine. in fact, he would do anything just to keep you safe and happy. but he wasn't able to do that when you're the opposite of him.

he is selfish and you are selfless.

no matter how hard he tried to change or even make things up for you, he just couldn't do it. there's this invisible dark string that pulls him inside the void of darkness. and he couldn't afford to bring you down with him. the thing that geto did really left a scar, a permanent scar to his chest that creates an inescapable hole that keeps on growing bigger and sucking his life in the process.

while you, you fully commit yourself to him. that's why everything would be pointless for satoru to let himself get hurt just to protect you. because you would literally throw yourself in the fire when he's burning.

it was like the two of you are a magnet with the same pole. you can't attract each other no matter how hard you try to let them collide.

back to reality, your head was faced downward. your husband sought for your eyes by calling your name meticulously, but you refused. an internal laugh at your pathetic figure rang through your mind, you are laughing at yourself for believing that you are already prepared for this moment, turns out, you're not—you’ll never be.

satoru mumbles your name again. and all of the sudden, you just let out a nod, followed by a small sigh. you let yourself look at him again despite the unnoticed tears in your eyes.

"okay, but let's spend this whole day as husband and wife for the last time. let's do the things we usually do during our free time." you said, and satoru agrees with you almost instantly. he thinks this is the least thing he could do for you before setting each other free.

everything went normal for the rest of the day. satoru takes you out for lunch, visits your favorite cafe for desserts, and even goes to the park where he asked you out to be his wife.

and right now, the two of you are in the cemetery, specifically in haibara's graveyard. the sun was proceeding to its dusk, making the place a bit solemn because of its ambience.

"do you think he'll be mad at my decision?" your soon-to-be ex-husband asked you with his small tired voice. haibara was your bestest friend of all and he actually talked to gojo when he's still alive about his relationship with you. he would like gojo to take care of you and treat you more than you deserve in your entire life.

"i don't think so. haibara only wants the best for us. he's a man of freedom, after all. and yet, how ironic because he, himself, has no freedom during his time in the jujutsu." you answered him as you watched the candle burn itself.

satoru looked at you. "how about you, y/n? are you mad at my decision?" he asked you a bit hesitant.

you just smiled at him and said, "i will answer that later, satoru." satoru nodded at your answer, he understood that you had a lot to say to him later.

after some time, you two decided to go home to your shared apartment. the journey back was fun and relaxing, it was filled with smiles and laughter that will soon vanish as the dawn is coming.

6:00 PM

both of you arrived at home. you helped satoru hang his coat on the raker like you usually do whenever he comes home during winter. this small act is something that would be definitely missed by him dearly, since you will not be around to do it.

"thanks for agreeing to go out with me." you said to him with a smile that almost reached your eyes. the only thing that stops you from giving your bestest smile was the divorce, but you subside because this is your last day as a married couple. you have to enjoy it to the extent.

"that was the least thing i could do for you before…nevermind." he said. satoru was not cheerful enough to make you smile whenever your eyes met. you also noticed that he was downhearted since you visited haibara's graveyard.

though as you were heading in your shared apartment, he was smiling and laughing. guess you didn't overlook him at all and you failed to notice his hidden pain.

you watched him lay down on the couch. "you looked bothered. was it because i didn't answer your question earlier?" you said quietly.

satoru didn't say anything, and according to his vocabulary, silence means yes. you sigh to yourself and take a seat on the same couch where your husband was lying in.

your hand reached out for his face, cupping it as satoru looked at you with his hooded eyelids. those magical six blue eyes are staring at you with known emotion, pain and agony.

"you didn't ask me why i suddenly wanted to get divorce���" he mumbles, nestling his head in your palm.

"you agreed without questioning me. i don't even see you cry about this. why y/n? are you hurting yourself by keeping your emotions inside you?" he continued. the pain in his voice breaks your heart into bits of pieces. satoru looked so vulnerable, his true emotions are showing exclusively for you.

you let out a small but bitter chuckle. "crying is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together, toru." his eyes widened at your answer. a droplet of tears slide down on your palm. satoru was crying, and you let him weep because you knew he's pent up.

"and i'm not mad at you. i also didn't ask you any questions because i know you know what you are doing and i respect your decision." you added.

"although, i admit. i want to bawl my eyes out. i want to scream because my heart is aching for believing that i was prepared for this moment." your breathings started to become shaky also just by watching satoru weep under your touch.

you refused to cry. at least not now.

"but i don't want to ruin this day by crying. i want both of us to savor this moment with smiles and laughter. so that when we part our ways, we wouldn't have any regrets to hold."

"so, satoru…let's continue to spend the rest of our night happily, hmm?" you let yourself smile for him to be motivated to stop from crying. however, he did the opposite. satoru cried even harder.

your hand is being cradled by him. you could feel his tears on your palm followed by his little hiccups. this scene alone in front of was usually enough to make you cry even harder than him. it was utterly heartbroken to see your man cry like this.

"hush, my…" love, that's the word you would like to say but forbids you to do so. satoru also noticed it too and he absolutely hates the feeling of it.

"l-love. call me love. c-call me like you used to call me before. first name basis is not part of the things we usually do during our free time together." he mimicked your words earlier. though it may sound like a joke, it isn't. satoru has been dead serious since the beginning of the day.

"my love…"

"y-yes, my sweetheart?" he responded.

your lips quiver from the overflowing emotions in your chest, but you still refuse to let yourself cry even when you're all by yourself. god, you are hopeless and devastated.

but dear me, it felt so good to hear him call you with endearing words. oh how you wish this kind of moment would last forever. maybe in another life, it would be. only if fate would be kind enough to give satoru to you again, maybe it will and it would be.

8:00 PM

satoru was all alone. his eyes were puffy from crying and stuff. he was such a mess. and if anyone would see, they would probably think that he's a zombie because of how low energy he was.

it took him almost an hour to stop crying. and you declared that this is the first and would be the last time that you would see him cry very hard.

right now, he was currently packing his things as he was about to move out tonight while playing betty by taylor swift. somehow, his mood got even more affected by this song, for every lyric hits him hard and he doesn't know why.

"♪ you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says ♪" the radio sang. a shaky sigh came out from his mouth, he felt like crying again.

“♪ most times, but this time, it was true ♪”

"let me help you pack your things." you suddenly barge inside your onced shared bedroom after cleaning up for tonight. you are also in your sleep wear when satoru looks at you.

“♪ the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you ♪”

you didn't fail to notice that he is listening to one of your favorite artist's songs. a flashback hits you, it was the moment where you persuade him to listen to it with you. now, he has grown invested in their songs.

he mumbles a small okay as he watches you sit down beside him and redo the messy clothes he just stuffed inside his luggage. most of his clothes were luxurious like polo shirts, slacks pants, coats, and his favorite, blindfolds.

your eyes soften when you come across a small pouch that contains hair ties and bobby pins you onced bought for him as a prank. you still remembered the moment he let you tie his messy white locks with colorful pins and he looked so incredibly pretty with it. you couldn't help but to feel yourself getting emotional again.

don't cry. don't cry. don't cry.

meanwhile, satoru remained very quiet, for he was staring at the photo in his hand. it was your wedding photo where the both of you are wearing traditional japanese attire. he couldn't help but stare at your smiling face for too long. you looked so beautiful.

the wedding was very simple, but satoru describes it as one of his happiest days, and he is not lying to himself whenever he would say that. because he onced dreamed of getting married to you, and it came true. he also had the same state as you, both on the verge of crying.

"i wonder…would you get remarried someday?" he asked out of the sudden. you shifted your gaze to him and found him staring at your wedding photo. instantly, your eyes went soft.

"i am not sure." you replied silently as you closed his luggage and proceeded to the other one.

your hands momentarily stop working as you stare at them and watch it shake. "but if i do, it would probably take me a decade or so to find another husband to love." you said. but truth to be told, you had no motivation left to find another husband.

"you're twenty-two right now. so like…you'll be thirty plus by then when that happens," he calculated. "how about you? would you consider getting remarried also?" you asked him the same question.

he thinks for a moment before nodding slightly. "probably yes." your heart let out a wince but you tried your best to hide it. those words unintentionally hurt you and cut you deeper than a knife.

"w-well, i just wished good luck for both of us in the future." the crack in your voice didn't go unnoticed by satoru. he was about to reach you but then eventually dropped it. "me too…" was all he could say.

"anyway, do you mind if i ask…where are you staying after this?" you trailed off.

"i'll stay with higuruma for a day before moving out to my new apartment. speaking of that man, i told him to be here around midnight. so we still have four hours to be together." he answered

"...yeah."

10:00 PM

the two of you are sitting on the same seat just like this morning in the balcony. you are wearing your favorite cardigan as satoru was in his coat to fight the cold weather of the night.

all of his things were already packed and ready to leave. soon, you'll be alone and this house will not be lively as usual because his presence will be missed.

both of you refuse to say a word, yet. because you two are scared to have another breakdown that made this marriage even harder to break. especially satoru, he was aware that deep inside him he was not ready to let you go. he was just lying to himself because he is aware that he can heal if he gives himself some time.

"y/n, can i hold you here in my arms?" satoru swallowed all of the bitterness he felt for leaving you just to hold you again, for one last time. you slowly stood up from your and came towards in front of him.

your soon-to-be ex-husband gazes upon you. however, you refuse to meet those warm eyes that you loved the most. satoru slowly pulls you into his lap and cradles you like his greatest treasure, which you definitely is.

when your face hits his shoulder, you couldn't help but to hide your face deeper into his neck. "the place i'm going to stay afterwards is far from here. are you sure you will be okay?" he whispers in your ears.

"yeah, i'll be fine." you nodded solemnly. "i also planned to stop from my work for a while." you added.

"why?" satoru raises his eyebrow. he thought you loved your job as a barista. you enjoyed making coffee and wherever there's extra pastries left in the cafe, you would take it home for him to try it.

"don't worry, i had a lot of fortune that could last for a century. and besides, you even said i had a midas touch, so surviving won't be too hard for me." when your parents died, they left all of their fortune to you. so that makes you an instant millionaire and nobody knows that beside your husband.

satoru gently pushes you to meet his eyes. "i think this moment is perfect to give all of my secrets away. i don't need any perfect lies to hide from you anymore." he tucked the loose hair on the back of your ear, admiring your beautiful frame under the pale moonlight.

he gulped nervously, and for some reason, you're becoming very anxious about what he's going to tell. all you had to do was to wait for him to speak his thoughts out.

"the reason why i want to divorce is to have a new life and forget about the past. that includes you, y/n." though he only started, millions of knives already stabbed your poor heart. your eyes stared at him, a bit widely.

satoru couldn't bear to look at your pained expression, but he forced himself to look at you. so that you would feel his sincerity. "before suguru disappeared, he once told me to choose another path of life. he told me to run away from the jujutsu, run away from my life." he said, almost whispering.

"although, i want you to come with me. but…"

"i somehow got myself involved with the jujutsu too?" you continued it for him. satoru falls silent, so that means yes, it is true.

satoru cups your face. "i'm sorry, y/n. i really, really love you. but this is not the right path for us. you'll get more hurt if you continue to get tangled with me. so, after a lot of thinking and consideration…"

"i became selfish once again. i chose myself over you, y/n."

for the nth time, the walls you have been building around your emotional state are starting to shake once more. you could feel the hot tears building in your eyes.

you will not cry. you will not cry. you will not cry.

"i-i understand…although, you don't have to apologize for choosing what is the best for you. i'm actually glad that you're finally doing it." you plant your palms over his hands on your cheeks, closing your eyes to swallow up those annoying tears.

"i'm such a bad husband, aren't i?" satoru chuckles weakly. what has he done to deserve you like this? your understandment is something that he greatly admires in you. your heart is pure like an angel from above.

an angel like you can't fly down hell with him.

but god, you're making yourself willing to go down with him without any hesitation and that is just completely wrong.

and for the past years, satoru would make a mistake and you are there to correct him patiently. he would always tell himself to make something and make everything up for you. but who would have thought a divorce is the best thing to do?

"to be honest, not at all. remember what i told you before we got married? you are the fire and i'm the—"

"gasoline?"

"no silly, that's a song." your laugh brightens up the atmosphere. satoru smiled at your happy demure, he likes seeing you this joyful.

"you are the fire and i'm the fireman. a fireman would not function completely when there is no fire. meaning, why would i, a fireman, be here if there's no you, a fire." you raised your fingers to help you visualize your point.

"does that make sense to you?"

satoru shook his head. "no."

you snapped your finger. "exactly! you think i'm bad at explaining things, while i think of myself as great at explaining things. that's the same as you thinking you're a bad husband, while i think of you as a great husband."

"..."

"i made you speechless, meaning you agree and i'm great at philosophy!" you boosted yourself by imagining a crowd was giving you a round of applause.

your husband wonders for a moment before cackling a laugh. "that still didn't make sense to me but it brought a lot of comfort to me. thank you, y/n."

"come on! just admit you love my philosophical nonsense." you pouted, hitting his shoulder playfully.

satoru laughed once again, pulling you by waist as he buried his face in your hair. "of course i do. i love everything about you." and he would still do, always and forever.

"i'm going to miss this." you mumbled as you relaxed on his touch. satoru also agrees, kissing your head all over again.

"and i'm going to miss you too, a lot." he said sincerely. the two of you held the longest stare on this day. you just let yourselves drown with each other's enticing orbs.

satoru was the first one to break the record by sighing and rubbing his eyes. the truth is, he couldn't bear to look at you any longer because he could see how broken you looked through your eyes just because of him. instead, he hides his face once more on your neck.

“i'm really, really, really sorry, y/n. i'm so sorry for using you. i’m so sorry for cheating on you. i’m so sorry for hurting you. i'm so sorry for not choosing you again. i'm so sorry for being selfish. i'm so sorry for everything." there it is, again. his hot tears are back and now drenching your shoulder.

"i used you as a getaway from my sins and from the grief that day, y/n. you should've said no when i asked you to marry me, but why did you do the opposite?" his voice became slightly thicker, he's definitely frustrated.

"i did it for love, satoru." you answered without hesitation.

satoru momentarily stopped crying as his breath hitch. "yes, i'm already aware of your true intentions that day. but i still chose to marry you because i love you. i know it sounds so dumb but it's true." you continued.

you could feel his arms around your body tighten, scared of letting you go from nothing. it was like he was begging the gods, if there was one seeing the both of them right now, to let him be delusional and not take you away from him.

"let me ask you this time, do you regret marrying me?" you whispered.

your husband looked at you with unshed tears. "i don't. but i regret that this is the end of us."

why is it always the time where someone would tell their true feelings when everything is falling apart? so if this divorce wouldn't happen, does that mean his word would be forever kept inside him?

"i've always wanted to tell you that i was actually glad that you became my wife. i thought you would be my endgame. instead, you became the reason why i am still here and breathing."

the void of regret is slowly pulling him inside. but you are there to make sure that he would survive the gravitational pull. you just loved him so you will help to let you go.

"i love you, my sweetheart, my y/n, m-my wife..."

12:00 AM

it was quiet, really, really quiet. higuruma was looking at the two of you all over again. his eyes showed sympathy for both of you and he was sad because this is the end for you and satoru.

right now, both of you are staring blankly at the divorce paper on the table. no one was making a first move by signing it.

you let out a sigh, a heavy feeling was buried deep in your heart. your whole body feels so numb and you still haven't cried for today. everything feels so wrong, yet at the same time it feels right. you don't know what to do anymore.

as you recall your conversation with him, you just wished it didn't end and would continue forever. because you know you'll never get tired of hearing his voice, his laugh, and his philosophical nonsense too.

not to mention, you've also dreamed of building a family with him. a mini satoru and mini y/n sounds nice, doesn't it? as your eyes wandered across this apartment, you can depict your children with him running around. god, if you were dreaming, please don't wake up.

"higuruma, can you please just wait for me in the car…? i-i would like to have a final conversation with my wife." satoru suddenly spoke and nanami left without hesitation.

"so this is it?"

"yeah, t-this is the end." satoru chuckles breathlessly. there was like a big chuck on his throat that made him feel suffocating. truth to be told, he doesn't want this to be the end. but again, he has to.

"thank you for giving me a total of the best six years of my life, toru. i mean it, thank you." you counted the first four years of your relationship and the two years of your marriage. playing with your hands to mend the shakiness, it was a constant reminder that only a few minutes left before the surname satoru would be stripped of your name.

"thank you too, y/n. i also had so much fun and love these past six years. thank you for all of the things you have done for me." he said silently.

all this time, you are the only one looking at him because his eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. "good luck on your new path. i wish you the best." you intentionally called his attention.

"you're really staying here in this apartment…alone?" satoru asked you.

you let yourself smile slightly as you shifted into a more comfortable position. "yeah… just in case you feel homesick, this would be a reminder that you still have a home…only if you want to." the air in this room is very thick and it's suffocating you.

"t-thank you, y/n, really." he expressed his gratitude once again.

a nagging feeling tells you that satoru was about to go back on his decision at any minute. and you too would probably go back to your decisions you had set for both of you. it would be more devastating for you if satoru didn't achieve his plans for himself in the near future.

"let's not make higuruma wait."

satoru falls silent. now he was stuck in a madness of a dilemma. in short, he was starting to rethink his decision to the point that he didn't notice he was staining the divorce paper with tears. his hands began to shake violently along with his cries becoming louder any minute.

satoru finally lost his cool as he wailed loudly in front of you. the sound of his sobs made you clench your lip as your chest tightened once more.

you on the other hand, you're trying your best not to slip any tears down from your cheeks. you successfully stopped them from falling this morning, you couldn't afford to cry not because there's only a few minutes left before you would let yourself fall into a pit of sadness.

sensing that neither of you would make a move, you are aware that satoru couldn't bring himself to do it even though he had to. so, you gently steal the paper away from him.

divorce agreement…it read. oh how you despise those two words.

"satoru, i mentioned to you a while ago that the reason why i want to spend this last day as a married couple is because i want us to leave without holding any regrets." you started with your pen touching the paper. satoru's eyes widened, he wanted to stop you from doing it but nothing was coming out from his mouth.

"i can see it in your eyes, you're doubting your decisions." you continued as you wrote your name. in satoru's horror, only your signature is needed and everything would be over for him.

however, you stopped writing. you tapped the table to gather his attention to you. there he saw you smiling dearly at him.

"did you have fun spending time with me this whole day?" satoru knows your intention. you are encouraging him to do what he was supposed to do even if it means leaving you.

"yes…yes i do, i enjoyed being with you." he stuttered. the tears were still streaming down his face and he was using his sleeve to wipe it. you reached for the tissue and gave it to satoru as you watched him wiped his eyes and blow his nose.

"that's good to hear. i also had fun being with you. not only for this day, but the whole time i was with you, i enjoyed it." you grabbed his hands to soothe it by massaging those long and calloused fingers. satoru watches you and eventually becomes slightly calm by your actions.

you inched your lips into his fingers and kissed it delicately just like he used to do with you before. everything went blur to him and only the sound of your sweet nothing was audible into his messy world.

"i know you'll be doing great with or without me. so satoru, put more faith in yourself. this is another big step for us, and i want you to be ready just like i am." you swiftly slide the divorce paper in front of him. but this time, it has your signature on it.

satoru felt like he was being showered by the cold water as he stared at the paper with pure horror evident on his face. you finally did it, so there is no turning back now.

"h-how—when…! when did you sign it?" his voice cracked due to his frazzled emotions firing him repeatedly. satoru reaches the highest point of heartbreak he ever experienced in his life.

"when i gave you the tissue." you whispered weakly. to your dismay tears are only a slip away from your eyes a thousand times today.

"i don't want to sign it. i don't want to! i don't want to leave you anymore y/n!" he yelled. you accepted his lash out with open arms, but you can't do anything anymore. you finally signed the divorce settlement, and this paper wouldn't go if there's no signature of satoru.

you suddenly pull him into a passionate yet heartbroken kiss to shut him up. satoru eventually responds to your kiss, becoming more emotional than ever. while you are busy keeping him in company, you sneakily put the pen in his hand.

satoru felt an object in his palm, he knew you're telepathically telling him to sign the paper but he still refuses to acknowledge it, at least not yet. as he continues to devour your lips, his eyes are still producing salt tears that add more emotions in the atmosphere.

"i could see a bright future ahead of you, satoru." you muttered between the kisses.

"mhmp—you should grab it, please." you continued to deepen the kiss to lure him. but he voluntarily stepped away just to make a counter argument for that.

"but i could lose you if i do that." he whispers solemnly.

"we've already lost each other when we realized that everything was going too fast for both of us." you chuckled bitterly at your statement. "that it why it is time to face the consequences, by setting us free." you added.

"do…do you really want to do this?" he hiccups.

"this is what fate wants us to do." your voice is soothing as hell. it held no grudges nor resentment, just pure calm and adoration towards him.

but satoru still didn't bug and he still doesn't want to sign the papers.

your gaze never leaves him as satoru buries his face on his palm, weeping so quietly that you could almost hear a pin drop. it was getting so hard to watch so you looked away and slowly walked away.

"i am going out for a bit." you mumbled quietly, not waiting for him to reply or look as you walked away with your whole body shaking.

outside, there you saw higuruma leaning on his car exterior. "hey…" you greeted weakly. higuruma looked at you with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

"hey…how did it go?" higuruma asked, his gaze falling on the papers in your hands.

"emotional." you joked.

"so, that's the end now?"

"...yep, that's the end now."

silence engulfed both of you, just your almost steady breathings and his observing orbs burning through your skin.

"never thought satoru could cry harder than he did when geto-san…you know." higuruma said, sighing as he tucks his hands on his pockets.

you nodded. "i know. satoru lost suguru literally, while he only lost me through relationship. he'd become more vulnerable around me, and that scares the hell out of me."

"i, his weakness, has become more exposed to his enemies. i know sooner or later, they would swoon to get me just to make him fall on his knees. we don't want that to happen, i don't want to be a bait nor a cause of his downfall. temporarily or permanently, satoru must not fall, no, not anymore." you continued.

"y/n-san, i hope you would also realize that failures, downfalls, mistakes, and damages are unavoidable, gojo-kun is no exception to all of that." higuruma argues.

"satoru is going to live a good life and have a future that he deserves, so who am i to halt it?” you ignored what he said because you know he was right.

“this is a big step for both of you. i just wished that everything would go well for the two of you.” higuruma smiled at you.

“we will, eventually.” you return the smile and then excuse yourself to go back inside, just to see satoru still crying nonstop.

approaching his figure, you wrapped your arms around his body to console the man. “don't go back to me now, satoru. if you cannot bring yourself to let go, then i will help you.” you whispered into his hair.

satoru pulled away just to look at you with his teary eyes. “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m really sorry.” he keeps on apologizing to you, while you just smile at him and wipe the tears in his eyes.

“it's alright, satoru. i already forgave you a long time ago.” you said.

“i can't sign it. i don't want to sign that anymore.” he confessed. a small form made its way to your temple” “but this is for both of us. don't you want to have a brand new start? how can we thrive when we both have shackles on our feet?”

“i-i thought everything was easy. i thought i could l-let you go that easily. but i was wrong. it's so hard to let go of us, y/n. and as much as i would like to do what i meant to do, it's just so hard to see us disappear from our now individual lives.” satoru buries his face on your stomach. your hands immediately made its way towards his hair as tears are threatening you once again.

“it's hard to let you go too, satoru. but it would be harder to see you suffer more when you're here with me.” it was getting late and satoru was still amidst the crisis, but you are determined to get him out of there.

“look at me, toru.” you cupped his cheeks and made him look at you. “you’ve still got a whole world to see. so don't you ever get worried about me because i’ll be more happy to see you free without any worries.

“go live a life that you weren't able to do when we were still kids. do what you always wanted to do.”

“and just so you know, i will always love you and you will always have a special place in my home.” you put his hand to your left chest where your heart lies. “here, satoru. you'll always be here.”

satoru pulled you into the tightest hug since it was literally the last and you wouldn't mind. reciprocating the hug, you finally smiled whole-heartedly and it even reached your eyes.

“whatever happens, i love you, y/n. i love you more than anything. i have loved you since the first time i saw you. and i will always love you even if this would be the last time i would see you.” throughout the six years that you two had been together, from boyfriend-girfriend relationship until to marriage—this was the very first time he declared his love to you with so much intensity.

your eyes nearly gave up on how long you've been trying to hold your tears. but you still swore that night that you'll never shed a tear unless satoru is out of the scene because you knew how much effect your crying causes him.

to hide your emotions, you pull him closer and share the last and passionate kiss as two persons who share the same surname are binded by the law. both of you could feel the emotions begin to overflow as things become more sensitive.

you were the first one to pull away as satoru was still crying. cradling his cheeks, you connected your foreheads together and said again, “let's not make higuruma wait any further.”

satoru knew it was time, time for him to finally sign the divorce paper that he's been planning for a month now.

he expected this one too just like you, so it shouldn't hurt, but why is his heart still aching? with a final stroke of his signature, satoru felt so empty. his soul feels like missing and something was taken away from him.

both have done it—a trial away and the marriage will no longer be valid. there would be no mr. and mrs. gojo now because both will live differently.

grabbing the paper with your shaky hands, you turn around at satoru and give him the final hug with a final kiss. “good luck on your new life, satoru. i’ll always cheer for you and support you until the end.”

“thank you so much, y/n. i really mean it.”

and with that, you and satoru shared the same sad smile you could utter at that moment. sure, this night will end bittersweet, but tomorrow is a brand new start.

you watched satoru walk solemnly towards the car. he looked like a ghost wandering around the vicinity without any will to search for the true paradise for him to rest. it really broke your heart that this is the end for both of you.

and with now fully signatured divorce paper on his hands, satoru felt that each step he took, he felt like fainting on the spot because of how devastating he felt.

but you cannot undo everything now. satoru had officially become your sweet memory and a stranger on the street at the same time. just as he was about to go inside the car, you called out for his name one last time.

your ex-husband looked at you with tired, red, and puffy eyes. you let yourself give the bestest smile you could offer at this moment. a smile entitled one last smile before saying a goodbye.

"if we found each other in another world, let me be your wife again!"

satoru's eyes glisten with tears once more. nevertheless, he also offers you the bestest smile he could manage. he is now letting his broken heart go out of your grasp. forcing himself to swallow and accept that in this lifetime, you are no longer his.

but if the two of you would be reborn or somewhere in the multiverse, he would pray that the two of you got the life you onced failed to build, and that was something he would wish for forever.

"of course! and i will choose you this time. we would make a family that we once dreamt of, and i will give you the honor to name our children." satoru yelled back, making your smile widen.

you could finally rest knowing that there would be a lifetime waiting for both of you somewhere in the future. and this time, you are not being delusional because you know it'll be going to happen and you'll make it happen.

"emi!"

"what?" satoru halted his steps to focus his attention on you.

"i want our first born daughter to be named emi." you've actually dreamed of having a child with him, in that dream, her name is emi. it was like a sign to you, so when you woke up, you immediately searched its meaning and found out that emi means blessed.

you are blessed.

both of you definitely feel blessed to have each other.

that being said, you have kept that name for a while now. sooner, you wished that name would be used with satoru's surname entangled to it.

because in this life, it was unfortunate not to use the name emi. you only want to use that name with him and only him. for you lived with him, loved him, and dreamed with him.

but patience is a virtue. you are willing to wait for that dream, for him. time is not a problem to you because you'd be fully patient just for him.

"have a safe journey, gojo satoru. i will be waiting for you in our next lives." you gently bow your head to send your wish for his safety.

with that, satoru enters the car without looking at you anymore. he was afraid that if he looked at you, he might find himself running back into your loving arms again.

"we'll be going now, y/n." higuruma rolled the window and waved a farewell to you.

you just nod at him while you watch the car slowly disappear from your eyesight. sad but true, you will be waking up all alone from now on 'till your thirties.

no more satoru to wake you up with cuddles. no more satoru who would make corny jokes randomly. no more satoru to who would always remind you that you have a husband. just no more satoru gojo—

drip…

a tear, followed by another, and another until it just flows uncontrollably. you are finally a crying-mess. you're letting yourself cry and let your emotions out by a shout of pain escaping out from your lips.

it was all over.

satoru chooses his life over you, and you choose satoru over your life. with your knees planted on the pavement, your hand travels towards your mouth to cover your loud painful sobs.

all of the tears that you had been keeping since this morning, finally had their freedom to flow at your cheeks along with anguish scream that came out of your broken heart.

you finally lost this time.

[a special chapter will be posted soon, so stay tuned and just comment if you want to be added on the taglist for this one — ©luvvixu2024]

[sunvmars]

tart | s.r. [3]

pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader

↞ previous | next ↠

word count: 2.4k

warnings: very, very brief smut mention !

summary: steve confesses, bucky offers his help

a/n: another short but fast moving chapter for now, the next few will be much longer and explain/fill any plot holes or missing pieces :) I hardly proof read this so be warned

Bucky's eyebrow cocks up in confusion as he recalls the mission, "Yeah, what about it?"

Steve takes another deep breath, preparing himself to release the secret he's been keeping, "I found something during that mission."

Bucky narrows his eyes, his curiosity piqued as he leans forward. "Okay, spill it."

Steve leans forward too and rests his elbows on his knees. He knew that saying something was a risk, but keeping it a secret under the new circumstances was riskier. Steve's gaze fixates on the floor as he speaks.

"During that mission, when I was extracting the files we needed, I stumbled upon some classified files. They had information about a hidden experiment conducted years ago called 'Genesis,'" he explains.

Bucky leans forward, his curiosity getting the best of him, "What's that got to do with all of this?"

"It's got everything to do with it," Steve replies, "Genesis was made to create super soldiers and people with enhanced mental abilities like telekinesis, telepathy, everything in between. Their ultimate goal was to fuse DNA from both groups to create a new 'breed' of enhanced individuals."

"Steve, are you saying y/n is connected to this?"

"More than just connected, Buck," Steve admits. "Her father was one of their strongest super soldiers and her mother was an agent. Her mother was also the only successful recipient of the mental ability serum they curated. From what I read, her parents had a secret relationship. They disappeared when her mother became pregnant; likely to save her from whatever fate Hydra had for her."

A sigh leaves Steve's lips before he continues, "Essentially, y/n is the only living evidence that they existed- that this experiment existed."

Steve feels nothing short of horrible and shitty for keeping this from you. He wishes he hadn't done it, but now it was too late to take it back. All he could do now was fix it. And he will fix it.

Bucky's eyes widen as he starts to connect the pieces together. "Let me make sure I'm getting this right here... You're saying she's the only child of a super-soldier and a Hydra agent with mind blowing abilities, both of whom nobody has any knowledge of? And now she's carrying a baby who's a cesspool of these abilities?"

"Yes, but that's not all of it. I hired people to do some digging after that mission. Turns out that the man who conducted those experiments, the one who created her father, he's been searching for her parents ever since. I've had people looking for him, but he's been evading police for years too, changing locations frequently."

Bucky leans back and rubs a hand over his face. "And you think he's aware of her existence?"

"At first, I don't think he did. She had hardly any social media presence, she was homeschooled, her birthname had no relation to her parents. But now I know he knows she's alive. I got a pretty straightforward letter from him two days ago, and I'm not even sure how he found out she was with me. Figured that means he also knows that we've been following him."

"How do you know it was him? What did it say?"

"I know it was him because all it said was, 'I know who she is.'"

"Well, that's definitely straightforward," Bucky huffs, his heart feeling heavy with worry, "Is that why you told her you didn't want the baby?"

"I...I want her and that baby more than anything, but I can't put them in danger. He'll come for me first to get to her. He's probably been trying to find her for years. I'm afraid he's going to start taking more drastic measures if we don't find him soon."

Bucky tries to take in all the information thrown at him, but only finds himself able to focus on the part about you being in danger. "What does he know about her?"

"I don't know, and that's what scares me. I thought that if I got her away from me then he wouldn't have suspected she was ever here, but I guess I was wrong," Steve admits, guilt laced in his tone, "He wants her, Buck, and now he's gonna want our baby too."

"We'll figure something out, Steve. Don't worry." Bucky raises his eyebrows, still confused at what Steve's plan was. "How does her being alone protect her? What if he's already figured out where she is?"

"I wouldn't call it alone, she's just not with me. She's safe at the tower and I've been pulling strings to protect her."

"What kind of strings, Steve? Please don't tell me you've done something stupid."

"Haven't had to yet, just small stuff."

"Like?" Bucky urges, not taking the vague response.

"I stopped assigning her to missions. When I had to throw off suspicion, I made sure she would be with you or Tony. I've got people I trust watching over her when she leaves home alone too."

"That's a little creepy, Steve." Bucky chuckles briefly, shaking his head.

"I was doing everything possible to keep her from leaving a trace that he can pick up on. That's why she's not here and I'm in her chair, drinking this disgusting cocktail in this empty, lonely apartment."

The two of them sit in silence temporarily before Steve speaks again. "I even took down all our pictures and got rid of any trace of her in case he ever suspected me, just couldn't find it in myself to take those two pictures down," he says as he points at the only two remaining frames on the wall.

Bucky's eyes follow where he points and he finds himself smiling at the pictures. Steve smiles too, but because it's all he's got left of you at the moment even though everything in the house had you intertwined with it. Regret fills the holes in his heart and his eyes linger on the pictures for a little too long.

The photo taken at the beach with all three of you? You were in his favorite bikini and, unbeknownst to anyone else, he later fucked you in it in the kitchen while everyone else was outside swimming. Your first date photo? Well, that one's self explanatory. It was sentimental and he wasn't sure he'd ever take that one down, even if you decided you hated him forever.

"But I guess it was all this pain for nothing, huh?" Steve says, smiling weakly.

"You did what you could, just wish you would've came to me. You know I'm here for you and her."

Steve doesn't find it in himself to respond. Bucky was right, he shouldn't of tried to handle this by himself. Guilt pools in his stomach threatening to make him nauseous.

"Were you ever gonna tell her? She should know, Steve, this is her past we're talking about here. If she knows then she'll be prepared for whatever comes our way."

Steve taps his foot, his nerves slowly overwhelming him. "That's the woman I know and love, Bucky, and I know she'll go digging for answers. I can't let her get hurt, especially not now," he says.

Bucky knows there's some truth to this because he knows you almost as well as Steve does- you're relentless when something's important to you. However, he also knows that you deserve the truth- that's part of the whole reason he came to talk to Steve in the first place.

"You need to tell her," Bucky responds, his tone almost demanding. "I've been watching her hurt for the last few months over something that isn't even her fault."

"I know, and I'm gonna tell her..."

"It sounds like there's a 'but' coming after that, and I really don't wanna hear-"

"But I'm going to find him first."

For a moment he thinks to himself 'he can't be serious, can he?' Then he looks at his friend who has determination written all over his face. He sees a glimpse of that scrawny, nervous kid Steve used to be for a second, and that's what worries him; that's how he knows he won't stop until he finds this guy.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe. I'll take down all of Hydra if I have to, I'm not letting them get close to her."

"You don't even know where this guy is, Steve. As your best friend, I can't let you take a chance on getting hurt when you do find him. No matter how shitty you've been, she still loves you a lot. She needs you, and so will that baby."

"Buck, this is something I have to do-"

"Then I'll do it for you," Bucky interrupts, the words leaving his mouth before he gets the chance to second guess them. "Give me what you have on him and I'll handle it."

Steve is dumbfounded. He's got the same 'he can't be serious' look that Bucky had mere seconds ago.

"Absolutely not. With your history with them, that's not a risk I can let you take."

Bucky smiles sympathetically. "But I don't have a family like you will. Don't get me wrong, you and y/n are my family, but you've got a baby on the way, punk. I've got nothing to lose here, it's not up for debate."

Steve frowns at this. He looks torn, his emotions at war within him. On one hand, he wants to protect you and his baby at all costs. On the other hand, he can't bear to lose his best friend again.

"Bucky, you're like a brother to me; I don't think I can put you in harm's way and ask you to do this," Steve says, his voice filled with desperation, "But I can't risk y/n and the baby's safety either."

Bucky's expression softens as he places a reassuring hand on Steve's shoulder. "You're gonna be a father soon, Rogers. You need to be there for them. Just let me handle this, they can't get to me anymore. I've got more ties to Hydra than anyone, I can probably pull some strings of my own."

Steve sighs upon realizing that Bucky's decision is unshakable. "You promise me you'll be careful. You'll keep me updated on everything and if anything seems off, I want you to retreat immediately."

He laughs before saying, "You're gonna be a damn good dad, you know?"

Steve narrows his eyes at him. "I'm serious, Buck."

"Alright, alright. I promise, and I'll keep you updated, okay?" Bucky agrees, throwing his hands up in the air to show his compliance.

Steve then reaches for his phone and begins to compile all the information he's gathered about Zepher Hawthorne. He anonymously sends the files to Bucky who immediately starts to study them closely. Bucky glances up to give Steve a reassuring smile.

"I'll be as careful as they come, Steve. Don't worry about me."

With their roles now clearly defined, they continue to discuss their plan in detail. They agree on secure communication channels, establish a backup line for communication, and set up a timeline for Bucky's investigation into Hawthorne. It's a risky endeavor, and they know that, but they're both determined to protect you and the unborn child.

As Bucky prepares to leave, Steve can't help but feel a renewed sense of hope that he'd lost when you told him about the baby. He knows he has a difficult conversation ahead with you, but he's also more motivated than ever to show you his dedication to protecting your little family.

Right as Bucky's about to leave, he turns around to look at Steve. "I'll put it some vacation days and let you know once I have a lead; in the meantime, go talk to her. If you don't wanna tell her the full story until I find him, then you at least need to tell her that you want her and the baby. Sound good?"

"Works for me," Steve chuckles lightly before giving Bucky a tight hug. "See you around?"

"I always come back," Bucky jokes as the door shuts behind him.

With that, Bucky leaves to prepare. Steve, however, takes a deep breath and picks up his keys. He knows it's time to open up to you about everything that's been hidden for far too long. He stands in the empty apartment motionless for a moment, the weight of the impending conversation heavy on him. It's not that he doesn't want you to know, but he doesn't want you to worry. After taking a deep breath he leaves the apartment and locks the door behind him.

As he heads towards the apartment elevator, his mind races with thoughts of how to approach you. He knows this won't be easy, and he's prepared to take all your anger and confusion because he knows he deserves it. Yet he's also determined to help you understand that at first he did everything he did to keep you safe; now he's doing what he has to in order to keep his family safe.

You're in the Avengers Tower sleeping comfortably your warm bed. You're peacefully unaware of the bombshell revelation that has just been dropped, but it won't stay that way for much longer. As Steve walks through the hallways he finally reaches your room.

He hesitates briefly before knocking gently on the door. It's quiet in your room so he waits for a moment, but then...nothing. His worry grows and horrible thoughts swarm in his brain. He knocks again, a bit more urgently this time.

On the other side of the door, you slowly begin to stir. The knocking finally registers in your drowsy mind, and you groggily call out, "Who is it?"

"It's Steve," he answers, his voice riddled with worry.

His voice has you awake instantly, but your heart races at the seriousness in his tone. You slide out of bed and hurriedly make your way to the door. Your fingers fumble with the lock at first but you find it within seconds. The door opens to reveal Steve standing there, his expression tense.

"Steve?" you ask, worry etching into your features as you take in the look on his face, "Why are you here? Are you okay?"

He steps into your room and turns on the dim light before closing the door behind him. He sighs deeply, rubbing his hands together.

"We need to talk," he insists. "There's something I should've told you a long time ago."

taglist!

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think I managed to add everyone, but if I forgot your tag, or you want to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :)

[inkedroplets]

Hi! I saw your answer about the sequel of rich girl and you wrote that ‘you have another long(long) fic in the works that I'm focused on now’ is it the Lena in the MCU one? I’ll die of happiness if that one is really happening lmao

You are in luck anon because it is exactly that. The first chapter is shaping up to be on the shorter side so I'll probably be done with it much sooner than I originally expected. I think I've posted this snippet before a bit less polished but with how badly I tag things and Tumblr being Tumblr I'll just paste it again because I am thrilled that someone is actually interested in something so out there.

“You wouldn’t happen to be an enhanced individual, would you, Miss Luthor?” Coulson asked

“I’m sorry?” Lena said, the first real hint of discernable irritation shining through her overly calm facade. “Where exactly are you looking, Agent Coulson?” She crossed her arms over her chest, the thin line that was her mouth somehow narrowing even further. There was a flicker of understanding and then horror that passed over Coulson’s face before his expression reverted back to that of a friendly but put-upon bureaucrat who would like nothing more than to punch out for the day. “At your file, Miss Luthor.” He held up a manila folder that he had obscured by his clipboard. “Or rather, what would be your file.” He tossed the empty folder down on the table. “The  problem is that my team was unable to find anything on you and not for lack of trying. I'd like to impress upon you how rare that is. You are one of only two people who we have been unable to find anything on.”

“Does SHIELD not know how to use Google?” Lena glanced down at the empty folder wondering how anyone searching for the name ‘Luthor’  could come back with nothing to show for it. “Funnily enough we tried that too after we exhausted all other avenues. There is no record of you anywhere. Not a single hit on any of the databases my team scoured and before you try and impugn my team’s tech savviness again, our hacker was incredibly thorough. It's the first time I've seen her so perplexed,” he said. Instead of sounding annoyed or even angry, he sounded impressed. 

“So you think I'm lying,” Lena said, feeling that much was obvious. She was being interrogated, after all. Which was why it surprised her so much when Coulson shook his head.  “No, Miss Luthor, on the contrary, I believe you are who you say you are. As I said, my team was very thorough. Even if you had supplied us with a false identity they should have been able to find something. A parking ticket, a graduation photo, employment records. If you ever got a free scoop at Baskin Robbins on your birthday we’d know about it.”

“That would sound a lot more impressive if the file wasn’t empty.”

[grapenehifics]

Making of Monday: Can't Stop the Suns Part 1

(I am thinking SO positively rn that I am calling this part 1, like I will remember to actually write more. YMMV; we'll see how I do.)

I'm hard at work on the concluding chapters of Pick Up the Pieces right now, and working on Pick Up the Pieces means I also need to do a fair bit of rereading An Uncivil War, so it's very much on the forefront of my brain, and also I have yet to participate in a single MoM, so: here's some backstory on An Uncivil War.

Okay I actually need to back up even farther than that, all the way to Solsbury Hill and February 2020. I started Solsbury Hill - it wasn't called that, then; it didn't have a name, just 'weird doc file/outline I'll probably never finish because I don't have a track record of finishing creative writing projects, ever' - and then the very next month I started working from home AND season 7 of Clone Wars premiered.

To get ready for season 7 - and because I was home a lot more during the day, now, and didn't have to commute to work - we decided to do a rewatch of Clone Wars season 1 through 6. And you know how we joke about plot bunnies, and why they're called that? That the hardest idea is your first one and once you have that the ideas just keep multiplying? So, I'm sitting on an outline for what would become Solsbury Hill, and we're watching Clone Wars, and we get to season 5, and the episode with Ahsoka's trial, and I think to myself, huh. That's weird. Why is Obi-Wan acting like that? Why is he not sticking up for our Padawan? If he had, I bet things would have turned out differently. Ahsoka might not have left the Order. Anakin might not have turned to the Dark Side. Clone Wars is full of all these little things that individually might not be enough to push Anakin over the edge, but they start stacking up, collectively...

From there, it was a pretty easy leap to, 'what if Obi-Wan left the Order instead of Ahsoka', and that created this whole domino effect because Anakin would obviously leave with him, right, and Ahsoka was getting kicked out anyway, and now I've got this scenario with three Jedi on the run in the middle of a war.

And that was fascinating to me. Once I started thinking about it I couldn't stop. But I was also getting really into Solsbury Hill, at that point, so this new story needed to take a backseat. I dumped a bunch of notes into a Word doc and went back to my AU.

It turns out, though - and this was the first time I'd learned this about myself - that I liked having both an AU and a canon project going at the same time. Solsbury Hill and An Uncivil War both used such different parts of my brain and required a different skillset and researching vastly different things, and if I got bogged down in one it was nice to be able to switch to the other one and hack away at that one for a while. So I ended up, from early 2020 until August 2022 when I posted the first chapter of Solsbury Hill on AO3, working on both projects nearly simultaneously, although obviously Solsbury Hill (despite being three times longer) got to the finish line first.

For a long time - almost three years - An Uncivil War was just called, An Uncivil War. And it had this expansive outline that I just kept cracking away at, and whenever I came across something cool in another piece of Star Wars media or another show premiered or I read another book I'd think 'Ooh, that's neat! That's going in the fic!' and I'd add it to my to-do list. And at some point I looked at my word count and realized I was pushing 100k and not anywhere close to the end of the story I wanted to tell.

So, I started thinking about sequels, and series. I had (still have) this outline, fortunately, and there was one pretty obvious stopping point at what was then the mid-point of the plot. (I say, 'then' because it has since, of course, expanded. It turns out I'm very bad at guessing word counts.) So I took half my outline, dumped into a brand-new doc, called that one Pick Up the Pieces, and wrote the 'ending' of An Uncivil War, as much as possible, as if it were the ending, just in case I for some reason never got around to writing Pick Up the Pieces.

Because it was important to me that An Uncivil War be able to stand on its own. It's got a beginning, a middle, and an end, and the end calls back to the beginning, and the main threat to the characters is resolved, and they talk about what they're going to do next but even if that was the only story you had, it should still be a satisfying conclusion (or, at least, I hope it is).

But it isn't the entirety of the story I wanted to tell. Because they originally were one big story, I actually had maybe half of Pick Up the Pieces already written by the time I started posting An Uncivil War, so while the first part took me three years to write, the second has technically only taken me a year, but I was definitely not starting from scratch.

I also - and this should shock absolutely no one - was once again wildly off in my word count estimate. Pick Up the Pieces is, right now, already as long as An Uncivil War (120k), and I've still got three chapters left to go...plus a bunch more things in my outline I haven't gotten to yet.

So, in true Star Wars tradition, I'm now plotting a part three! Pick Up the Pieces, like An Uncivil War before it, has a logical ending point, so it will wrap up there, but the plot will move merrily along to the next thing on my to-do list, which is in fact the same to-do list I've had since March 2020. (It's a good thing I love this story so much or I would have quit long ago.) Part Three, at the moment, is tentatively titled Sometimes Fate Steps In, and I'm really, really sorry to have to admit that that's where all the smut is going to be. (I know. It's Solsbury Hill all over again.)

(I do love it, though. I feel like I should...apologize, to my fics, somehow, for having a favorite? I do have a favorite, though. It's this series. I love it so damn much. This is the one thing I write where, if you told me right now that I would never get a single comment or kudos on it, I would still write it anyway, because I just get so much enjoyment out of researching and writing it and re-reading it.)

(Which is not to say you shouldn't comment on it. Please, please do! You will absolutely make my day, week, month, year! But I love it enough to do it anyway.)

[lamaison]

Well, I've spent about four days with Zenless Zone Zero (and truly other than my Genshin and HSR dailies it's all I've played in those four days). I'm at the beginning of Chapter 2 in the story, where they soft lock you behind Inter-Knot level 30. I've also played a small about of the Hollow Zero and Shiryu Defense modes.

So time for some non-spoilery thoughts!

In terms of combat, it's very fun! I was worried it would be too frenetic for me, but it does a good job of prompting you. The perfect assist is so satisfying. I appreciate the option to select casual or challenge difficulty. I'm on casual difficulty and I'm starting to get to more difficult content, but the regular story missions are honestly hard to fail on casual.

I know a lot of people have problems with the monitor portions, but I enjoy them. There have been some fun puzzles with these and I love a good puzzle. I had a few problems where it wasn't responsive but that was my only frustration and that might just be my internet connection.

The activity loop is enjoyable too. You can definitely see the inspiration from Persona with the day being divided into sections and actually feeling like time is passing. And there's a good balance between activities that cost energy and those that don't. It's not open world but very similar to Persona there are small areas of the city you can travel to (I do wish these spaces were a little bit larger however, it seems kind of silly to have three fast travel points within the very small construction site area)

THIS is the comedy Hoyo game - they tried to sell HSR as the comedy and it's funny, but this is over the top. I have laughed out loud at multiple points. The animation in the cut scenes works for it too; it has a bouncy quality that fits the tone. They must have their own animation team because the quality of the cut scenes is so different from Genshin/HSR.

I really like that no matter which sibling you chose to play as, both Wise and Belle are present and active in the story. They also have individual rooms above the video shop!

I like the story so far - it's got enough to hook me for the moment. I'm excited that it looks like we might be able to get outside the city in the story that's available now. I'm just not far enough to tell for sure. Also lore players rejoice, they gave us a reason to play the roguelike mode! You're able to pick up lore clues like audio files within these levels so at least for me now I have an actual motivation to play that.

I ADORE the city and NPC design. Hoyo has really struggled with interesting NPC design, reusing the same bodies with different outfits. Here the NPCs have many different bodies and outfits and it adds so much life to the city. You can also run into current and possible future playable characters in the overworld.

Finally, props to ZZZ to be the Hoyo game brave enough to go full furry and not just humans with animal ears/tails. I love the bears that work at the construction company.

Overall, I've enjoyed my time with it so far and I'm going to continue playing.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Yes!! YES!!! >:3 >:3

I CAN MAKE RUDIMENTARY EPUBS NOW!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!

[lollipencil]

In The Pale Moonlight Part 7

Honestly, I'm struggling to write a traditional chapter for this AU. Then I remembered the introductions I did a while ago. So, @harleyification, let's see if I can recapture the magic?

Enjoy and be gentle ---

(Martha Kent (Marc))

When Clark called home asking for a pie that "a young teen might enjoy", Martha wasn't too sure what to think. "I'm helping a friend with his new kids," was all he'd say over the phone, but with that tone that hinted at something related to Work. So, Martha shrugged and got baking.

It was pretty late when Clark appeared in his suit, as did a little tag-along. "Hello dear," she warmly greeted her son before turning to her guest, " and what's your name, sweetheart?" "Moon Knight," The teenager in mummy bandages blinked glowing eyes in mild surprise. "Batman asked me to help teach him and his brother how to fly," Clark explained, "There is another, but he can't fly at all, so..."

"Oh, and where is he?" "Want back home," Moon Knight muttered, "Went first." "I'm going to drop him back tonight, but figured a little pick-me up before would be best," Clark smiled like the sun. "Of cource," Martha nodded and silently planned to send the rest of the pie home with him, "Come on in, I've tried something new this time: Toffee Apple pie sound good?"

Those glowing eyes perked up slightly. Near-silent footsteps followed her inside as Martha wondered if they still had some custard left.

--- (Martian Manhunter (Steven (and the others)))

J'onn might have missed the meeting where they were introduced to the whole League, but he knew Batman's new sons. Or, at least, one of them.

It would seem that something in the universe had conspired so that everytime he visited, only Mr Knight was visiting. Not that he really objected. The young lad was a sponge for knowledge, and was happy and eager to hear about Mars in its prime. It warmed his heart to be able to share his planet's history with another.

So, when Batman called him into a private meeting with Mr Knight, J'onn had no clue as to why. "Hello J'onn," Batman stated calmly, genuinely, "Mr Knight wants to share something personal with you." "Oh?" J'onn had not expected this. "Yes, I already know what. But before that, I want your word that it does not leave this room." And there was the batgrowl they all know and love. "Of cource. I will maintain the secrecy of whatever is revealed here and now."

Batman nodded and turned to Mr Knight. He hesitated, before his mask shrinked into its domino form. "I want to tell you, I've not told anyone before. Everyone else who knows found out and- I trust you," he stammered past his nerves, "And it's best that you know. Two birds one stone, innit?" "Ok," J'onn calmly nodded even as he filed the proverb for future reference.

Mr Knight swallowed. For a few moments, J'onn waited. Then he felt the invitation. He looked up at Batman who nodded, and made his way inside his mind.

And finally met Mr Knight's brothers. J'onn had never felt a mind like their's, multiple yet natural. His face smiled while a mental handshake was extended to the boys.

Keeping this secret would be no problem.

--- (Khonshu (All of them))

It had been an whim. Khonshu had been about to approach a very promising individual about becoming his avatar, when he felt it. A call. Had it been anything else, he would have ignored it, but someone was calling him.

So, Khonshu left Arthur Harrow, and appeared somewhere he was not expecting.

A child's bedroom. Hand-drawn pictures splattered in blood, the source of which lay trembling close by. For a moment, Khonshu was stunned. It was far from the first dying child he'd seen in his long existance, but how had this child managed to summon him?

The child's hand twitched on a slightly crumpled drawing, a artistically pleasing depiction of himself, albeit in cheap felt-tip pen. Looking closer, he could see them all: Marc Spector who still fought even in his despair, Jake Lockley who was trying to take the pain from him, and Steven Grant, asleep and blissfully unaware of his approaching fate.

Khonshu made up his mind. "Little ones," he greeted, "Do you wish to live?" "What-?" Marc weakly answered, using every last bit of strength to look at Khonshu. "You have undergone great suffering. But I am here. If you wish it, I will shield you from harm, and in return, you can help others like you, others who live in fear of harm. So, I ask you, will you protect the travelers of the night?" "...yes." "Then rise my Moon Knight, and come back from the brink."

As flesh healed, the relief of life carried Marc and Jake to sleep. Staring down at his new avatar (or was it avatars?), Khonshu knew what he must do. After all, they had called to him as travellers first.

[penwieldingdreamer]

Brewing Storm - Questions

I'm so sorry...I've been swamped with work (and it doesn't look like it gets better any time soon) but here's the next installment of Brewing Storm. Let me know what you think. Thank you for leaving likes and reblogging.

If you want to be tagged in future chapters follow the link . (Link is updated so you guys should be able to us it now, sorry it wasn’t working properly)

Have fun and happy reading ❤️

Betas: @fortheloveoffanfic @ladyelissarose @missathlete31

Warnings: 18+ in future chapters, MDNI, canon violence, mentions of injuries, fighting, drug trafficking

Reader is non-descriptive, only Candy is frequently used as nickname

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Part 3 - Questions

You walked through the bustling NCIS office in San Diego, your expression a mix of determination and concern. A thick file containing the details of the incident at the football game in hand, you were ready to question Lieutenant Jake Seresin about the events that had unfolded. Stepping into the room he was held for questioning, you immediately felt the tense atmosphere, the chatter of the other agents fading away with the door closing.

The aviator was seated at the table in the middle, dark circles underneath his eyes and his face a mask of apprehension and determination. You approached him, seeing the weight of the situation etched in the lines of his forehead.

“Lieutenant Seresin,” you began in a firm yet empathetic tone, taking a seat across from him, opening the folder in front of him. You scanned the evidence pictures, locking eyes with him ready to dig deeper into the night that had forever altered  your lives. “My name’s Y/N Gibbs, I’m an agent with the NCIS. I appreciate your cooperation. I need to ask you some questions about you being on the scene tonight.”

Jake sighed, feeling the tiredness seep into his bones. "I told the other agent already and I'll tell you again: I did nothing wrong. That boy was in danger and I was helping him."

"Chief Petty Officer Andrew Cain sustained a gunshot wound to his left shoulder. He got lucky, a few more inches to the right and he would have been in the morgue instead of a hospital bed. Question is what we're you doing there and where the hell is the gun?"

Jake took a deep breath, his memories flashing vividly in his mind. "I was going to find you. Wanted to get the date we talked about, but I heard these guys. They were threatening Chief Petty Officer Cain - as I now know.”

You leaned forward, your eyes intent on Jake's face. "And then what happened?"

"I walked up to them, I don’t know why but I had to help him," Jake continued, his voice filled with a mix of adrenaline and trepidation. "They told me to leave and one pointed his gun at my head. I swear I nearly shit my pants - if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it instantly. All I know is he turned so swiftly and shot at Andrew, I wasn’t fast enough."

You nodded, your pen poised above a notepad. "So, you are telling me you didn’t have a gun on you?"

Jake's eyes flickered with regret, as if replaying that moment in his mind. "Yes, Agent Gibbs. Though I wished I had. I should have protected the kid."

Scribbling down his response, you then pressed further. "Can you recall any specific details about the individuals involved? Any distinct features or what you overheard?"

Jake furrowed his brow, his mind racing through the fragmented memories. "It’s all fuzzy. I know they were out for a job, one said their boss wanted the job done. The guy with the gun had a tattoo on his neck, looked like those Yakooza ones but I can’t be sure. The other one was stocky, short with a scar on his temple."

You nodded, making notes as she absorbed the information. "Were you able to see anything else, a ring, special feature?"

"I'm not sure," Jake replied, frustration tinting his voice. "I was more focused on the gun pointed at me."

Silence hung between you momentarily, the weight of the investigation pressing upon your shoulders. You could sense Jake's unease and his desire to assist in any way possible.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," you said, your voice soft and laced with appreciation. "Your cooperation is crucial to getting those guys. We will do everything in our power to keep you safe and bring those men to justice."

Jake's gaze met yours, a mix of gratitude and determination shining in his eyes. "Thank you," he paused, not sure if calling you Darling on record was going to go over well. "uh, Agent Gibbs. I know you’ll bring them down."

You offered a reassuring smile, making his insides flutter like they did the night before. "We might have more questions in the future, so we might call on you again."

Jake nodded, anxiety slowly melting away. He couldn't imagine how it might have sounded to Mav and Cyclone if he was arrested for trying to murder the son of an Admiral.

Closing the folder with all your notes, you rose from your seat, gesturing to the pilot to follow you. You were just at the beginning of your investigation and had a feeling it was going to be a long one. “I’ll show you out, Lieutenant.” 

Grabbing the jacket he had haphazardly thrown over the back of his chair, Jake followed you out of the room, entering the bustling bullpen of the San Diego NCIS office. "Just sign the papers before you leave and I'll be"

"Candy!" Ellie’s voice drifted over the hustling agents and you could hear her feet stomping along the carpet floor. "It's so good to see you."

With a grunt you planted your feet into the ground as the blonde agent pulled you into a tight hug. "What are you doing here?" You ground out, lightly patting her shoulder as you spotted Gibbs and Torres in a heated staring match with a man you remembered coming by your entrance at the game.

"SECNAV wanted us on the case with the kid of an Admiral involved." Your uncle ground out. You sighed - in all the years you had been in the same space as Gibbs you never understood how he always heard or saw what was going on, even ways away from where you were. Must be his really special talent as a sniper. 

"Great, well, I, uh, already got Lieutenant Seresin's statement. He was involved, trying to help CPO Caine." You glanced to your left, Jake still standing there awkwardly while Gibbs and the other man came closer. Ellie raised her eyebrows at you, a smirk making its way on her lips.

He's hot. She signed to you, something you had picked up after first meeting her right after leaving the FBI. Shaking your head you waved your hand at the blonde, making her giggle loudly behind her hand.

"Good, we'll keep coming back for more questions. And for you as well, Captain Mitchell. Don't think we won't be asking your team or you as well."

There was an obvious tension in the air between those two and you scoreboard yourself you'd get to the bottom of this.

"Wouldn't have thought otherwise, Gunny. Still the same old grumpy Marine."

"Still the same old cocky flyboy."

There was definitely some history there and judging by the curious faces copying your own you knew that Torres, Ellie and Jake wanted to know what was going on as well.

Tagging:

@none-of-your-bullshit @fortheloveoffanfic @ladyelissarose @missathlete31 @chipendenspook1997 @mayhemmanaged @aviatorobsessed @genius2050 @chickensarentcheap @harrypotteranna23-blog

[once-upon-a-time-the-end]

last reblog:

This is honestly a huge rant of mine to basically anyone that knows me. There are very few shows these days that I feel inclined to watch in part because everything is so damn short, often to its own detriment. Remember Wednesday??? I honestly can't even remember what happened in that series. They crammed so much into such few episodes that nothing got the development and breathing room that it deserved. Meanwhile, I re-watch episodes of Buffy and am like 'oh I love this episode!' 'this is the episode when [thing] happens!'

American television really got the 20+ season down in the best way and then we decided to throw it all away for some godforsaken reason (probably bc wall street, greedy investors, no one wanting to pay writers, and fucking tech companies but goddamn). And then they think 'well gee everyone just want to rewatch episodes of the office so that must mean that we should just reboot all the old stuff that people loved'. Totally missing the point that actually good storytelling goes a long way toward something becoming as rewatchable and valuable as Friends, X-Files, Star Trek, etc are now. No, people just want Nostalgia amiright??????

I mean, literally, do you know that studios these days use algorithm bullshit to determine whether a project gets the funding? They want some Name person usually to be attached (someone famous enough) that the Algorithm has determined is 'bankable'. That's why you get useless sales tactics like 'from the executive producers of [film you liked]!!' That's not a real metric for whether something is actually good. Same shit with the whole Reboot garbage. The people who have the money and are making decisions literally do not do it based on quality of the project or quality of storytelling; these people have absolutely no ability to judge that (deliberately illiterate fucks they are). The American film/TV industry is literally being jerked around by who's basically a better used car salesman and algorithms. It's a miracle that there's anything at all that is actually good these days.

Now don't get me wrong, I do like limited, short series. But typically the best ones are LIMITED, as in, not trying to be multi-season series. Good examples are series like Haunting of Hill House and Midnight Mass. They tell a short story but make it richer and fuller than a film. Like a real structured multi-chapter novel but as television.

My personal opinion is that anything shorter than 16 episodes should be a limited series. Multi-season series should have a standard of 20+ episodes. I would say some exceptions; I always thought Breaking Bad did half-seasons really well, but it's also not a show that I, personally, would rewatch (though my dad does). A lot of the ones that I love re-watching have more individualized episodes that make up a longer story arc. We did that structure so well. That's why you can be excited to re-watch individual episodes of older shows, because each one had, more or less, contained plots even if they connected to the overarching story.

Both of these types should coexist!!! I would actually love to see more limited series!!! I've said it before, but we should totally import the south korean 16 episode limited series format—they really have an excellent formula for limited series. But can we also bring back the 20+ episode season shows???? I'm starving out here in the desert!!!

[themarydragon]

What I'm Working On:

Slightly better title than "Fic Scheduling" but still clunky. I'll workshop it some more.

Currently posting ME fic. "One and Done" will be done this week. "Red Letter Days" will take us into the new year. It's sequel, "Sabbatical" and it's companion "Off the Record" are ready to go right behind it; both are finished but aren't yet drafted to AO3 so I'm not entirely sure the chapter or word counts. It's a lot, though.

Currently playing ME3 so I can finish part 3 of The Chakwas Fic. I know how it goes down, I'm just a stickler for trying to stay reasonably close to canon, so I've got a lot of datamining to do, so I'm writing as I play and playing as I write.

Original Worlds: I wrote a short Original Fiction story just to vent a sadness, and I'm seriously deliberating putting it up somewhere. The OF I was previously working on has been rattling around for half a year now and I think I know how to get past the place I was stuck. Intentionally NOT doing that, though.

Side projects: starting to dabble harder in visual novels and then being hit hard with the OC stick and writing up How My OC Did It and contemplating posting. I've got (finished) stories for three of them now - Blooming Panic, Our Life, and Andromeda Six. Not at all sure I want to post them. If you read this and have an opinion, please let me know, I'm genuinely torn.

Somebody please talk me out of re-writing Howl's Moving Castle from Howl's perspective. I recently read it and decided I wanted his POV and somebody needs to talk me down.

Zelda: I'm at the excerpt-writing stage, where individual scenes scream at me until I write them, and then they go into an unwieldy text file that I read and re-read to get motivation and inspiration and eventually they get copy-pasted out of there into the body of the actual work. Which, if you're keeping track, there will be three of. I've got the Zelda POV well underway, several scenes from the Link POV keeping me up at night, and a full outline for How to Fix "Born a Storm" It is happening, and I am hoping will be what my muse fixates on this winter.

And, as a treat: the Zelda POV will be "Still So It Flows."

"A river is time in water; as it came, still so it flows, yet never is the same." (Leonardo Da Vinci)

The Link POV will be "Restless Waters"

"Do not turn me into restless waters if you cannot promise to be my stream." (Sanober Khan)

Honorable mention:

"Rivers know this; there is no hurry. We shall get there someday." (A.A. Milne)

[nixknacks0-0]

Omg actually very excited about this WIP game that @ltwharfy tagged me in

Anyways the rules go that in a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I've not been active on here the past week or two and have no idea who has done this or not, so if you see this and you haven't been tagged yet, consider yourself tagged! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Funny enough I don't have a specific wip folder, but rather I break things down by fandom/universe so I'll be doing my best to compile everything under Bob's burgers/not Bob's burgers. That's really where my focus is right now lol

I'm also very much a believer in valuing having story ideas even if they go nowhere, so more than a few of these are just that, but please ask anyways! I'm excited to tell people about the things I'm working on

I've also got 'master docs' for my longer stories, which I use to draft plots and create a continuous first draft, so I'll leave those out for stuff that has individual chapters in the works

I also have different naming criteria for plots/second drafts/final drafts so this is going to be really fun to decipher (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Bob' Burgers:

Chlouise meetcute

couldnt-be-feta

GAC Pack - L&R Prequel

JJ/Tine - Jealousy

L&R Epilogue: The Beach

L&R LastCh: Everything's Brie Alright

Louise Internship

Satisfied AU

Throuple

Tina Randomness

Tina/Zeke - L&R Prequel

TM Ch6:

Other:

Comic > Untitled document

Dive (bar) > Premise

DND > Castellan Knighthood

DND > Castellan Laments

DND > Castellan Origins

DND > Story concept

GO Role Reversal

Librarian Quest

Strong Unreliable Narrator

S&D Tier > Burn Down the World

The Pearl RD

Untitled PNF Project

Untitled Teenage Mystery

Witchy Business

[yohangaontdj]

WIP Tag

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.  Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.

@clawbehavior , thanks for tagging me! Took a while cause I'm basically a one-track mind. I work on one fic at a time and can't multi-task cause will lose the feel for the story. So when this tag came along, I had to go through my files to remember what I've done but not finished.

So first off WIPs for The Devil Judge

A Dare and a Twist of Fate.

Been working on this the whole of 2023 and everytime I thought I'm near to finishing, the story kept growing.

It started out purely as wanting to write a smut piece with dom and sub hints and always with Yohan having supernatural powers to do smutty stuff to Gaon. And inspired by this photo that I doctored. Took them from two separate photos and merged them into one.

Here are the originals that I took from.

I was nearing to finishing this fic when I got distracted by others that I want to write And when I came back to it in Nov 2023, I ended up re-writing a major portion, hence the delay.

First Anniversary

I wrote this 2 years ago. And its more my take on why Yohan hadn't taken Gaon with him when he left for Switzerland. And with some conspiracy thrown in cause there would be those who refused to believe Yohan had died in the bombing - the government as well as those who seek revenge upon him, especially the children of those Yohan had killed in the bombing.

The title first anniversary, it was because the story started out on the first anniversary of Soohyun's death. And I used lots of flower meaning and language in the fic cause that was the only way Yohan could communicate with Gaon who was under the scrutiny of the police as well as anyone who wanted to find Yohan through Gaon.

Here's an excerpt.

Underneath the fluorescent lights, the three stalk of flowers looked even prettier with their blue petals and pale yellow centres. But there was no note, no card, no messages of any sort, sending doubt worming through Gaon's heart.

And it was only when the paper wrapping had been removed did Gaon see the tiny word written on each plastic tubes - the ones which the stalk had been individually inserted into so that the water inside could hydrate it.

Anemone, windflowers.

Their symbolism, it had Gaon's heart lurching cause Anemone meant protection from evil and from misfortunes. And the blue ones had the added meaning of complete trust in the receiver of the flowers.

Gaon, to think that he hadn't been forsaken despite what he had done to Yohan as well as Elijah. It had tears spilling, Gaon aching to have Yohan here right now so that he could crush him in his embrace.

The two would be reunited in the end and was 90% written before I got distracted again.

Red and Black.

Another incomplete fic I hadn't touch for more than a year. It's loosely based on Red Riding Hood. And inspired by these two pics.

I sort of got embarrassed with the latest chapter I've written and also the sudden loss of comments which had me doubting whether I've written the story right. So I didn't continue and although I still have an idea how it will end, I've lost some of the details as I hadn't touched it for so long.

Gahan AU - Dating Show

This fic is also an old one, and its based on the idea that Gaon, despite his degree in law, he had decided to give up being a judge so that he can become a 'train chaser'. Those fans of railway trains who will travel around to take photos of them.

And he worked part-time at a cafe with Jinjoo as his boss. And one day, the TV station had made a huge delivery order from the cafe. Hence, Gaon having to deliver them and being unwittingly dragged into becoming a participant for a new dating show. Cause one of the male participants hadn't shown up, and they were short of one.

Here's an excerpt.

Gaon had never in his life had three women fighting to undress him. Face growing darker by the minute as he fought to keep his demin jacket on. And head jerking away from the pony-tailed woman who kept pushing his fringe up, tsking at how it was hiding the beauty of his face.

And just when Gaon thought he had to punch one of them in order to get away. Someone else had waded in, joining in the fray.

A man, much much older than him, sliding his palms down his chest and goosebumps prickling Gaon's skin. Then gripping his shoulders and smiling a smile that had Gaon shrinking from the threat that was simmering within.

"You either come along with me or get very naked right now."

That older man was of course Yohan, producer of the new dating show. And who had Gaon re-made - from a nerd to quite an attractive catch. But Gaon wasn't someone who would obey meekly. Plotting to ruin his chances of staying on the show by acting all crude and rough and callous.

This one has no title cause it lives rent-free in my head.

Inspired by an old K-drama called, Are You Human? And in the drama there was a very human-like robot that had been built, and the female lead falling in love with it.

So I have this image of Yohan being an AI butler, as real as any humans out there. And in a dystobian Korean society, every judge is assigned an AI butler to attend to their needs and see to their mental and physical well-being.

It is purely smut and explicit with Gaon coming home one night pissed and stressed out with the shit he had to deal in court. And Yohan AI butler trying to relieve his stress, using sex as a means to do so based on what Google had told him was the best way to do so.

So these are the WIPs I haven't finish. ☺️

[notwhelmedyet]

an approximately chronological list of things i've fucked up in my current bookbinding project

When merging the individual chapter files into a single pdf I messed up the page numbers and had to go back and redo it

I did that again

I fixed the page numbers but forgot chapter 7 entirely and only caught it halfway through printing. Thankfully fixed it

Realized I fixed all of that without catching an image cutting off part of the text in the colophon. fixed it in the UK edition

Didn't test my inkjet ink for bleed before designing and drawing the entire Eriador map, only to realize that the magenta ink bled horribly. Fixed it by image editing all the red elements to brown.

(there were lots of other map mistakes but we're going to keep Fred Mithrin between us)

Marbling fuckups, which deserves a whole separate category:

Tried marbling outside. As it turns out, wind moves paint when it's floating on top of a pan of water. This makes it difficult to put the paint where you want it.

Alumed the paper, then pressed it in a stack under weights and left it overnight. Turns out the alum deactivates (chemistry something something) if left in an anaerobic environment for a long time and the sheets were ghostly pale

Made the size too thin (there was a wake like I was jet skiing with those combs and the patterns were illegible)

Made the size too thick (so many. fucking bubbles. everywhere)

Air bubbles in all the wrong places RIP

Made my stencil BACKWARDS because I didn't check which arm was injured before marbling

Alumned before applying the stencils (the paper warped everywhere except where the stencil was and then it wasn't flat)

Alumned after applying the stencils (now the paint could bleed under the stencil and it didn't have clean edges)

Used freezer paper for the stencils (this was my ultimate mistake it just doesn't stick enough to prevent bleed. i think. i never fixed this so who knows)

Black paint was haunted. (That's not so much a mistake as an unavoidable reality I didn't realize when planning my marbling)

Back to regular fuckups:

Tested a new endpaper style (hidden linen-joined endpapers) on one of my good marbled sheets rather than on a blank sheet of paper, only to realize the sulphite paper was too weak and would tear. Impossible to remove the linen from the sheet and had to abandon it for one of my sub-par marbled sheets

Glued the cloth hinges for the UK editions on BACKWARDS with PVA. compounded this mistake by trying to carefully remove them with a microspatula rather than living with it. Tore the paper. Attempted to mend it with kozo and warped the paper. Attempted to color it with paste paint to cover it up and tested my color match on plain rather than mended paper, leading it to be obviously the wrong color.

When sewing the US copy of ATWW I pulled the wrong thread while doing a weaver's knot and ripped the first signature out of the book (mended it with kozo tissue)

Trimmed the head of US DR with the pages askew because I forgot to square the book in the press in all 3 dimensions. Trimmed it again to try and correct that, but didn't take enough off so it wasn't flat. Tried to sand it flat and still didn't succeed. Gave up.

Glued and rounded the spine of UK ATWW before trimming the fore edge. Had a panic. Got the trimming setup and done in under half an hour, a new record.

Rounded the spines unevenly (always)

Didn't press UK DR tightly enough while sanding the inside fore edge and some of the pages got hooked in on themselves, necessitating going through with a microspatula and unhooking each page individually, then sanding again.

Over to edge marbling fuckups:

Used too strong of masking tape to tape off the head and tail when dipping the fore edges, which ripped the back side of the endpapers while removing.

Didn't dip US edition fore edges deep enough, leaving blank spaces

Panicked and dipped them a second time, making the pattern muddled

Managed to get bubbles on both the head and tail of the UK editions, because god hates me in particular

Attempted to fix one of the bubbles with paint and accidentally washed off a patch of marbling in the process.

Didn't press the books tight enough (quick release clamps were a mistake

Should have dried off the edges gently with a paper towel before air drying - the water on the edges seeped into the pages, causing both paint bleed and the books to warp out of square

Forgot the paste paper endpages and literally GLUED THE BOOKS SHUT. Had to very carefully pry them open again. 🤦

Aaaand that's as far as I've gotten so far but never fear more mistakes are on the way

[melishade]

After finishing the story and watching the visuals of aot, did it gave more ideas to work on?

Honestly, not really.

So for some context, I was a manga reader for AoT, and I specifically was in order to get more ideas for Attack on Prime. When the manga chapter for Assassin's Bullet came out, and Eren started laughing like a maniac over Sasha's death, I knew how I wanted to end the story, and I knew that the Rumbling was going to be activated. That is what spawned the creation of cm186: one of the first of many documents I had for AOP. (There was another that I had on a flash drive but the flash drive got busted and it costed too much to repair it and it devastates me to this day. Back up your files on different formats writers). cm186 was a lot of the brainstorming and rough drafts of that final battle and the aftermath of that battle.

Now I had an idea for an ending, it was just a matter of filling in the in between. How to get to that point. I continued reading AoT and continued writing for that 4 year gap that Isayama ignored. The Paths chapters dropped; that became some free ass real estate. And then AoT dropped the final chapter, and the final chapter wasn't something that I was particularly happy with. And I've stated in my author's notes of other chapters as to why that was the case.

Before and after the AoT manga ended, I was still writing, brainstorming, outline, analyzing, all that stuff for Attack on Prime. Even as I was writing chapters, I had written concept idea and scenes for future chapters that were either scrapped or changed via dialogue and action. Even now, as I've reached the climax: Guren No Yumiya, I still have to go back to previous chapters and fix certain things because I either don't like the direction I've taken, or the big scenes that happen in certain battles don't feel as impactful, so I have to add stuff.

Aot's anime ending remained mostly the same. I like the fact that they fixed Armin and Eren's conversation, which was one of the major problems that I had with the manga; however, there are still a lot of problems that I have with AoT's ending which would have benefited from an extra few chapters. Such as:

-Ymir's relationship with King Fritz, -Mikasa's role in the story, and the fact that she still holds onto Eren and thinks of him fondly when he killed 80% of all humanity (Also she kissed his decapitated head. That's still pretty gross.) -Also the whole Eren causing his mom's death because it's been shown in the show that abnormal titan can ignore a few individual people if they see a large host of people (i.e. Rod Reiss' titan) -We don't really see the fruits of the Alliance's labor post Rumbling. -Everyone looking at Eren rather fondly. This is kinda fixed in the anime, but it rubs me the wrong way in the manga. -The lack of time we really spend with the warriors and warrior cadets which causes their character development to be a little lackluster. I guess I'm thinking in the context of "I've known them for so little time compared to the main cast of three season"

There's a lot I could talk about, but I'm certain there are others who can explain it far better than I can. But AOP is essentially me addressing what I didn't like with AoT. Aot's anime ending did nothing to change that.

[rockinlibrarian]

For the fanfic ask game: E, M, P, and R. :)

That would be THIS Fanfic Ask Game. Thanks for asking! I love answering! (You, too, non-Assaily Reader, can Ask as well!)

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

I don't know, what fic? I think if I HAVE any sequel ideas, they're in process at least. A lot of my fics take place within the same timeline, like, so they're in series, like The Loudermilk Chronicles; or how I thought I'd write just one Fiktor fic to get it out of my system and ended up adding not just chapters to that one but several sequels because apparently I can't stop. A lot of my fics, on the other hand, are outright prequels-- the sequel to them is the source material itself!-- because one of my favorite ways to conceive of fanfiction is by saying "I wonder how THAT happened?"-- how characters met* or how certain situations at the start of canon came to be.

*I just reread this one recently for the first time in awhile and it's a dang good little slow burn romance-based-on-friendship if I do say so myself.

Actually I'm not sure I actually answered that question. Oh, but here's an example that might fit better in the next answer:

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

I thought of doing a series-- or maybe just a bunch of excerpts-- jumping off of the Viktor Tells the Show to His Therapist fic: if I was feeling REALLY ambitious I'd do the Show in Therapy Form from every individual sibling's POV. But that might be TOO ambitious. I started writing that fic in the first place because I was thinking of a Fiktor-related spin on the therapy fic, and that original idea does still come out and haunt me sometimes.

But I also have a bunch of Works in Not-Progress that EXIST more than a premise, actual files in Scrivener, but are still pretty much on the back burner. Like the story of Cary and Kerry at college, and several crack Legion pieces based on dreams; there are a few DWJ scenes; my Ghosts I Have Been ship; and the rest of poor poor "Tesseract" which I PROMISE has not been abandoned no matter what it looks like. And I've got the Riordanverse study "Child of Hypnos" which is almost done even though I haven't worked on it in awhile, but I've also since read The Sun and the Star in which Hypnos actually appears as a character and is almost nothing like Hypnos in my story, which annoys me, because mine is better, but I don't know if that makes him non-canonical now or what.

I was actually having a "who even cares about my stories" moment in the past couple of days, so getting to talk about upcoming ideas is sort of helping to counteract it?

I'm waiting to hear back from a beta on my Legion meets the Wizard of Oz fic, which will hopefully then be the next thing posted, then after that-- well, I guess deciding what to write after that was giving me the "nobody cares" moment, because I couldn't decide what to work on next. I might do the next chapter of "Captain with Seven Children" actually, although I'm still not QUITE sure how to make a certain plot element happen. But maybe I'll figure that out by working on it, which leads us to the next question:

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

I am most definitely a gardener, but I don't know how Mr. Martin does HIS gardening, but I DO spend a good deal of time in February and March planning out on paper what I'm going to try to put where, and when I need to do each step, and what I need to buy. So the story's growing and unfolding and I prune and shape it, but I also sometimes take a step back to plan a bit, for longer stories/ multichapter things, mostly. But the planning is certainly not architectural.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

I feel like Diana Wynne Jones is possibly my biggest writer influence, if only as like a motivational speaker, in a sense. She reminds me to let my imagination go wild-- just reading her words makes my brain open up, like. I can't begin to imply I can write as WELL as her, but her existence helps me write. It's weird but true. Madeleine L'Engle was an extreme influence on me over the course of my life, but not so much in writing style as in Big Picture stuff-- the weaving of the mundane and the spiritual and the universal and the specific all together. My actual voice doesn't sound very much like her at all. I'm not sure where my particular writerly voice comes from, specifically-- I feel like my tone may have picked up a lot of Rick Riordan, but I also feel like my basic fictional voice got established long before him, too. It's basically a lifetime of middle-grade story intake.

As for fanfic writers, my biggest influence is Versaphile, who got me posting on AO3 in the first place!