#so not only asian slur so it's fine?

[anonvkirkped]

Exposing @/Kirkped.

hello everyone, i will stay anon for this callout but you may know who i am, or know my story. I dont wish to cause anything but i just want people within the fandom to know what this person has done.

TW / CW for: grooming, arguing, suicide and suicide baiting, racism, slurs, splitting.

for background info, kirkped goes by multiple within this callout, timmy and xochi. Kirkped has mental illnesses which cause them to lash out and i understand that, yet over time this was just abuse, they claimed they were trying and attempting to get better, but often lied and only got worse. Continuing to blame mental illness when i feel it is no excuse, being mentally ill does not give a right to abuse.

i have attempted to blur out all names. And give proof.

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starting off with something important: The racism, timmy is kirkped and has been confirmed by kirkped themselves. They lied about being black when in reality being asian. Went on for around a while. Said the N word multiple times.

—————-

Next up just general abuse:

These screenshots are from when i posted a video of me and them playing roblox, friend saw it and brought it up. Friends talked about how they were abusive and i wont stop going back, yet xochi told me to tell them it was due to their mental illness.

kirkped getting upset im busy on my birthday party, i get they need the attention but i told them before i would be busy that day.

One of xochis friends, i had blocked xochi and they told them to contact me. I didnt want to talk anymore yet they wouldnt take no for an answer.

Suicide baiting, they did this 24/7. They copied and pasted this and sent it to a bunch of people. Made me lose my mind.

Them getting upset just recently after we sadly spoke again after months, i didnt want to talk anymore due to being triggered and they exploded on me.

—-

This is just insane.

and also

Them ignoring my triggers

———

this is the first callout ive ever made, xochi has caused great pain to me and others, their relationship has caused me to dissociate, have panic attacks so bad i shut down, and get triggered and cry every time i enter the basement: where they suicide baited and made me cry and scream over call while i his from my family, it was a painful night.

i have needed professional help to recover, im still shaken up. Im still so extremely traumatized to the point of abusing drugs to force myself to forget the past. This is only a chuck of everything but im not sure what else to add. Im scared, i dont understand why they keep coming back, they keep pretending theyre fine when they need help, i dont want to cancel them. I just want them to realize they hurt others and many wish them to stay away from the internet.

please understand. Its 3 am and im very scared. I am traumatized over kirkped. I wish no one else has to go through the same, please block. I am not the only one either, i just havent gotten other views yet.

-anon.

[embodyingchaos]

Hi! Since you are writing for Finn could you please write about the gaga episode including the reader and they help him with his red outfit or the rocky horror episode? Thank you!

❥ hi sweetheart! MY FIRST GLEE REQUEST AAAAA im so excited, i hope you like this! (so sorry this is so late!)

theatricality rewritten pairing: finn hudson x gn!reader genre: platonic, fluff, sorta angst(?) warnings: finn being sortaaa homophobic, mention of the f slur, finn being a jerk, this is like so bad im so sorry word count: 1.9k

the halls of mckinley were filled with students roaming around, conversing with one another while someone was just trying to put their books back into their locker. y/n swore as the books inside their locker fell out and plopped onto the floor, “how the hell does this even happen, i put them sideways for god’s sake.” they whispered to themselves, bending down to grab them before rearranging their positions. as they were putting their books back in, finn hudson had approached them.

“hey, y/n.” they looked up, “oh, hey finn. what’s up?” y/n asked as they closed their locker, “so many things are up. so many damn things.” he exasperatedly said, leaning his back on the wall. 

finn and y/n had been friends ever since pre-school, they used to be best friends but some things change. they both reconnected when they joined the glee club around the same time. “what is it now? rachel? quinn? puck?” “kurt.” y/n whistled lowly, “that’s a new one.” they started to walk down the hallway to head to the glee club. “what about him?” “well, my mom made us move in with him and his dad, and now- now, i’ve got to share a room with him! like the dude’s fine and all, sure, but i need my privacy and he kinda makes me feel, i don’t know, uncomfortable?” finn rambled, stuffing his hands into his pockets as his flannel brushed to the side.

y/n only chuckled, “why on earth does he make you uncomfortable?” their question makes finn fidget a bit, “he just… i’m so sure he likes me. it’s obvious. sharing a room with him is like sharing a room with a girl that likes me.” y/n gave him a weird look, “okay, i’ll pretend you didn’t just compare kurt to a girl and that you think he likes you-” “i’m not thinking it! he does!” they sighed, “right. look, if it bothers you that much, sleep in the living room. it isn’t that complicated, finn.” finn huffed and nodded as they entered the choir room.

he sat beside tina, who was looking a little off today and that’s when it clicked. “you aren’t wearing your usual goth look, t. what happened?” y/n asked her as they sat beside finn, “figgins thinks she’s a vampire and said if she wore goth any time soon, she’d get suspended.” mercedes explained, “what.” y/n deadpanned, in disbelief that their principal actually believes vampires are real.

“it’s so weird.” “this so isn’t you.” artie and finn commented, “i feel like an asian branch davidian.” tina expressed woefully, will frowned at her state. “tina, are there any other looks you can try?” mr. schuester’s question started a plenty of suggestions. “biker chick?” “cowgirl?” “hood rat.” “computer programmer!” “cross-country skier.” “catholic schoolgirl?” “a happy-meal, no onions… or a chicken.” everyone looked at brittany with concern before tina had enough of their ideas.

“look, i appreciate it, guys, but it just isn’t me. i know who i am, and i’m not allowed to show it. it’s like communism.” she begrudgingly comments before rachel stomped into the room, fervent as always.

“guys, we have a serious problem. you know, i’ve been doing some deep background on vocal adrenaline-” “isn’t that against the rules?” artie asked her, “no, not at all- or, probably. whatever!” schue shook his head at her answer, but rachel didn’t really seem to care. “anyway, what i figured out, i rooted through the dumpsters behind the carmel auditorium and i found 18 empty boxes of christmas lights.” tina’s eyes widened, “oh, no.” “which led me to joelle fabrics. i asked them about red chantilly lace and they were sold out!” rachel exclaimed and now the girls and kurt looked entirely worried. “oh, sweet jesus.” “oh, my.” mercedes and him commented, a few of the guys looked confused.

mr. schuester looked at rachel, “what?” “they’re doing gaga.” kurt explained while mercedes and rachel expressed how screwed they were. “we should have guessed it. they’re going full out theatricality. they know it’s the easiest way to beat us. damn them!” y/n took a deep breath in, they were definitely screwed.

“what’s up with this gaga dude? he just dresses weird, right? like bowie?” puck’s question made rachel scoff, “lady gaga is a woman! she’s only the biggest pop act to come along in decades! she’s boundary-pushing! the most theatrical performer of our generation, and she changes her looks faster than britt changes sexual partners.” “that’s true.” she agreed as kurt went on a rant about how amazing lady gaga is.

“it makes sense that vocal adrenaline would pay homage. it’s a brilliant move. she’s a perfect fit for them.” artie muttered, “now, hold on a second.” schue spoke up, “we might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. we can help tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals.” tina smiled as y/n held her hand encouragingly.

“this week, your assignment: gaga.” a round of whispers filled the room as the girls and kurt began to plot, rachel announced the ideas were coming to her, needing a pen and paper before mr. schuester pointed at his office. the boys, however, didn’t look too happy about it. y/n was pretty neutral on the topic. 

after the glee meeting, both finn and y/n walked side-by-side in the hallway as they headed to class. they turned to finn, “you look excited about gaga.” they commented sarcastically but finn didn’t catch that. “what? i’m not-” “i know. i was being sarcastic, you big doof.” y/n smiled, “come on, it isn’t so bad. lady gaga’s got some catchy hits, like just dance.” finn tilted his head, “of course, you don’t know that song. why did i even mention it?” they muttered to themselves, looking around the hallway with a bored expression.

finn let out an annoyed grunt, “why are we always doing the things the girls wanna do?” he wondered out loud, y/n pressed their lips into a firm line. “well, if that’s how you feel, then why don’t you express it to mr. schue? i’m sure he’ll understand your point of view. sometimes.” the tall boy nodded, slowly smiling. “maybe i will.” he simply said before turning back around to head to mr. schuester’s office. “aaand there he goes.” y/n quietly commented, continuing their journey to history class.

gaga week had gone extremely well, other than karofsky and azimio picking on tina and kurt, and rachel finding out that vocal adrenaline’s coach was her mom. finn had also convinced mr. schue to allow the boys to do a song by the band kiss instead of lady gaga.

y/n was getting text spams and long rants every five minutes from finn about how much of a hassle it was to live with kurt, it was honestly starting to get on their nerves. they didn’t care about it much until they got a text from the quarterback saying he had called kurt a slur when he was blinded by rage. 

finn drove to their house and was immediately met with an upset face. “i cannot believe you called him that!” they yelled as finn fell onto their bed with his hands on his face, “i know, dude. i feel really bad about it, too.” he groaned in frustration, mad at himself for being such a jerk.

“i wanna make it up to him, but i just don’t know how.” finn muttered, staring up at their bedroom’s ceiling. y/n fiddled with their oversized t-shirt before their eyes lingered on a specific costume that was hung on their closet door; their gaga costume. y/n smirked, “i have an idea.” they slyly turned towards their best friend who raised his head up with a questionable look on his face.

with that, they spent the entire night fashioning up a theatricality costume for the boy as a way to show his support for kurt and that he was different from the other guys on the football team who would judge and scrutinise everything the glee club did.

the next day, since it was the end of the week, everyone had decided to go to school in their costumes. y/n didn’t mind but it was a bit uncomfortable to get to and from class in white latex tights.

“woah! guys, why are you all in your theatricality costumes?” mr. schue asked as he walked into the choir room, “it’s the end of the week. we were kind of hoping to learn what the lesson of the assignment was.” artie told him, “well, um, you guys have had some great numbers this week but i’m not sure that i know either.” he confessed and the rest of the club chuckled with him before a voice spoke up.

“i do.” tina walked into the room in her usual goth attire, “goth tina! you’re back!” y/n exclaimed, beaming at her. the girl smiled at their enthusiasm, “i refuse to dress like somebody i’m not to be somebody i’m not, and i learned it’s good to be a little theatrical.” she said before taking a bow as everyone applauded. “there she is! she’s back!” mr. schue encouragingly announced, patting her on the back.

artie looked around amidst all the cheering, realising that two people were missing. “wait, where’s kurt? and where’s finn?” his question made everyone look around, before the revelation hit y/n. “guys, we need to go find them. now.” the entire club ventured out together through the hallways to find the two guys, which they did.

“oh my god.” “what is finn wearing?” santana stated and quinn asked, in shock. “he wanted to make up for something he did to kurt so i helped him with his gaga costume.” y/n explained, “problem was that we could only use this old shower curtain i found in my attic.” they added, snickering at the sight of their friend wearing a red, rubber-looking dress. they walked towards them as they noticed karofsky and azimio were once again bullying them. “‘cause i’m pretty sure we can take the both of you.” “yeah, but can you take all of us?” puck quipped as they backed finn up.

“okay. okay, i get it. i took biology. you know what, karofsky? we done disturbed the freak hive! the worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.” azimio mocked, “next time, we’ll bring some friends, too.” karofsky threatened before the two jocks walked away from the group.

rachel took off her shades, “i’m tired of everyone calling us freaks.” she complained, “well, look at us. we are freaks.” mercedes joked as everyone laughed along. finn smiled at this, “but we’re all freaks together, and we shouldn’t have to hide it.” he told them before sudden clapping attracted their attention. 

“nice job, finn. think you just figured out what the lesson was, kinda makes me wish i’d planned it.” mr. schue joked, “but mercedes is right, you do all look incredibly insane.” y/n smiled and turned to finn, high-fiving one another. “told you my plan would work.” they whispered to him as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, yeah. you’re always right, i get it.” y/n only punched him lightly on his shoulder as they all began to walk back to the choir room.

[olderthannetfic]

The slur topic is a bit weird tbh, not because people are annoyed about certain terms sounding like or being alike, but because it forgets that certain slurs are particular to a specific place, and not everyone is going to know or even care to research because it has no relevance to them, or is even something that pertains to their social experience. Expecting everyone to adhere to specific rule of not using what is a "slur" in one place probably won't work, because of how different the understanding of language and personal social politics are. If a term has absolutely zero relevance where you live, and it's already tied to a different meaning a/b/o as a term for omegaverse, how should they ever connect the dots, or care to find out that someone from a different culture also uses that words as a slur? Why is a completely unrelated person suddenly guilty of the insults and slurs perpetuated by people of a different culture? And even just the awareness of it or the mind of it. Will people who ask this also respect not using slurs and terms of insults from other cultures? Or is this a thing only expected of people when it comes to anglospheric racially/sexuality/indentity charged insults and slurs? How many people think "colored" is an insult or a slur? In South Africa it's a description for, I quote "multiracial ethnic communities". The other name for the makrut lime, "kefir/kafir/kaffir/cafri" is considered a racial slur against black people in South Africa, yet it's still readily and openly used in recipes, videos, food guides. It also originated in Islam and was used against non-believers. Oriental has a big negative history in the West, and is considered a negative term, and degrading. Yet you can easily find a lot of Asian stores that use that specific term or tag to refer to items produced and sold in the global market. I think a big one is also for other Spanish speakers that the word "negro" for the color black is constantly being pointed at as a slur by people not speaking Spanish, but as a Spanish speaker myself it's literally just a color. Crayola could sing a song about the misunderstandings about their multi lingual labelling of their crayons. I remember a person from the West having a giant tantrum about an online stores url, "BiginJap" ranting about the fact that the "Jap" part, even though the store using it Big in Japan, is a literal japanese store, from Japan, selling Japanese products. Gypsie is considered a slur across a lot of Europe, if not most of it, I still see people argue that because "it's fine here in the US" they don't have to care about it and can just use it, even if they're not part of that group. Who's in the right here? The Roma and Sinti people or Europe? Or the people using the term in the US? I am not saying you can't criticize the use of these words, but I'm saying that to in a way or some form to consider the intent when they're used. To assume the worst, especially when the person does not share your culture, language, or awareness of your culture shows a degree of ignorance and personal cultural-centrism that just won't work on a global scale. You can say "this is a slur where I am" but whatever that means to anyone not part of your culture, is up to them by the end of the day, especially when it's meaning can wary so much.

--

No, in general, nobody expects anyone to care about anything to do with Australia. That's partly why people are irritated about this one: the difference between what everyone is expected to know about the US vs. Australia.

[autistic-fuckwad]

Pinned Post. Last edited August 9th.

uhh alright better pinned. hi, i'm autistic-fuckwad. you can also call me colton, but i prefer my username more.

i like sharks, cats, sushi, and being spitefully positive. yes, i know i used to be a cunt named M3G4L4D0N. I'm actively trying to not be cunt anymore. hate mail about that will cost you 200 bucks specifically. I was a teenager, still am, teenagers are assholes because learning how to handle big emotions without being a dick is a skill. I'm getting better about it. Genuine, good faith questions are fine, accusatory or asks asking me to "atone" are screenshotted and deleted for my own sake unless i feel like fucking with it. Death threats are just deleted.

Flight Rising sideblog is @roundhorn-melprin , I follow from here. Direct your FR drama to this blog if you want to.

Didn't you make fun of an ESL person?

Short answer: I was a massive asshole to a most likely homophobic Christian who defended "straight pride", but not to someone specifically for having English as a second language. I made fun of them for calling us children, but not knowing the proper you're. Yes, this was a disgusting, asshole move and yes I'm ashamed of it.

Long answer: The only reason everyone thinks they are ESL is due to a claim from a flight rising anon drama/hate website, called Anon Re Rising, that "pearl packaged horse shit" sounded East Asian. In reality, this quote comes from Angel Dust in hazbin hotel, where his accent makes "poorly" sound like "pearl". This is the only claim that says they could be ESL, as otherwise they spoke in perfect English and even used AAVE liberally.

I was an asshole to them only after they began insulting the LGBT+ community for not "accepting other views" which in this case, was that straight people deserve support too despite not being persecuted. They actively said we were intolerant and that they hated the LGBT+ community because we refused to listen to others and due to the infighting, and said they refused to be part of it due to this. They had used the slur ( this is a regional slur from the UK, as I've been told. I originally was told this was not a slur, I only parrot what lesbians tell me because I am not a lesbian. ) "les" to be shorthand for lesbian, and I told them not to use it as they are bisexual and cannot reclaim it in that context. This enraged them and they went on a tangent on how they shouldn't be corrected and that is when the insults started. I agree that I should not have insulted them back, and I regret it deeply. I have already received many, many death threats about this situation due to an AITA post I was accused of making. I did not make it, and I do not know who did. I don't care to find out, either. I just want to move on from this shameful situation.

my art is tagged as my art and my ocs are tagged with their names if you wanna hear more abt them

my commissions are open, if you're interested send an ask and we can talk about it

portfolio here

blog is full of my own art, memes, and hopeposting if i feel like it. please keep discourse away, and hate mail will cost you $100 dollars so i can pay for my phone bill. Terfs, radfems, exclusionist of any kind fuck off. Also racists and nazis go jump off a cliff.

wanna give this disabled funnyman some hope, or want me to get my cats some snacks?

$M3G4LAD0N

[disacurveball]

Hello. Thank you for enabling this discussion. My apologies for this long message. I would like to address the person saying they love asakiku and afraid of being ‘judged’ for having a ‘different characterization of Kiku’. I would request that they place themselves in our shoes for a moment. Asakiku is a ship with many Asian fans. It is unpleasant for me to open fanfictions looking to enjoy a story, only to see white writers fetishizing Kiku with inappropriate racial stereotypes. Or to see other people praising such works. So there is no confusion, I am discussing historical hetalia fanfictions, not other genres where it is fine to have characters be very cute and ditzy in a romantic comedy.

A pattern I noticed is that some white asakiku fanfiction authors seem to dislike the possibility of Kiku having relationships with other Asian nations. It reflects a rather possessive orientalist desire to separate Japan from Asia. It is a white foreigner’s biased understanding of Meiji, Taisho and Showa Japan. What I am referring to is this tendency to characterize Kiku as an admiring Anglophile completely besotted with Arthur or NyoEngland. To such extent that he gives them a 'pass' for their imperialism against nations he has centuries or thousand year old relationships with like China or India. He experiences no personal conflict over the British colonization of Asia. One example is a fanfiction I read of Kiku and NyoEngland, where the white writer said Kiku had a ‘curdled love’ for China, but miraculously bore England no grudge at all for her imperialism or the Opium Wars, yet he dislikes Portugal for incidents centuries ago. In this fanfiction, Kiku repeatedly blushes, behaves bashfully and gratefully thanks NyoEngland when extraterritoriality ends and appears to be immediately taken with her beauty and femininity.

This is a racist fantasy that erases the agency of Japanese people and obscures British imperialism, not reality: people angrily fought for the end of the extraterritorial treaties because of the racist treatment of Japanese lives as worthless. British extraterritorial courts had ruled that British ship crews who had refused to rescue Japanese and other Asian passengers who drowned in multiple accidents up till the 1890s were not guilty of negligence and did not have to pay compensation. Can you see how erasing this perspective and making Kiku have an instant crush on the white nation responsible for all this mistreatment is racist?

It is a white fantasy because the acceptance of Westernization was the goal of avoiding being colonized or subjugated as India or China were. Even during the alliance, there was always a significant group of politicians and ordinary people who sympathized with Asian nationalists in other nations including India who were anti-British. I do not wish to excuse Japan’s imperialism over China, Korea, Taiwan and other Asian countries. I must emphasize Japan truly has to accept responsibility for that. But I am saying that in Kiku’s personal relationship to Arthur or NyoEngland, he absolutely would not be able to completely ignore all this racial inequality as distant 'politics' separate from his personal life in the 1900s. When a white author insists he can do that to justify such a rosy alliance, this is inserting a white perspective of race privilege over a Japanese/Asian man’s experience. Is this possible when whole nations were racialized? Even the most poor and vulnerable Japanese immigrant in the British colonies was seen as a Yellow Peril menace or ‘Asian horde’, alongside the Chinese. We see this awareness manifest in Japan's interest in the Race Equality Proposal for the League of Nations, existing alongside its contradictory imperial rule of Taiwan and Korea.

I am open to nations having a baseline of respect for each other more than humans do. I am not saying we must write nations hurling slurs at each other to be 'accurate'. But it is too much to completely erase Asian racial politics from the historical Asakiku relationship when the entire alliance is rooted in imperialism, when our ancestors could never avoid being 'raced' as 'not white' because the West wouldn't permit it. To not even permit Kiku to express discomfort or disagree with or challenge Arthur or NyoEngland meaningfully or express frustration, and instead illustrate him as a shy, bashful love interest who seems blind to and unaffected by British entitlement to Asia, betrays a racist need for an Asian character to be submissive and politically harmless to white privilege in order to be ‘shippable’.

This is not saying people cannot ship Asakiku as I myself enjoy exploring this ship. But many other ships with white characters like FR/UK or Rus/Ame accept rivalries, mutual suspicion and tensions as adding interesting depth to the pairing. Why can historical Asakiku not be the same? Refusing to allow that when this period of Japanese history strongly justifies that, is a double standard stemming from racism and fetishization of East Asians as being desirable only when we are submissive and praising whiteness.

Hello anon, thank you for taking the time to leave such a thought-out message. I have nothing to add other than thank you for sharing your perspective, and it’s very important for everyone to hear! Hoping everyone takes the time to read!

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Oh you poor dumb bastards

So after seeing the Nijisanji drama that recently happened, which mind you is a NEW new one, I get to use it as a springboard for another topic because there's been the problem of Google Gemini erasing white people from history almost fully as well. But here is a supercut from my new fav moron Uki.

Now, based on this supercut some people might be like, "He's just joking" OK so racist jokes are ok then? I doubt you'd say that if it were a white person making jokes like this about Asian or Black people.

We need to get to a point where we can get SPECIFICALLY leftists to say if it's all ok or none of it is. PICK one.

If we are going by my standards, I believe it should all be ok. Because I'm pro first amendment. But then also when it's "Some of it is ok but not the rest of it" I finally get into a point where I'm like, "Ok.....so you are actually PRO discrimination just so long as it's against 'The Correct People™' but you think just YOU get to decide who".

Congrats you are on the road to admitting you are just as bigoted as the people you claim to be against. The only difference is they can often times admit it. You on the other hand are so "Holier art thou" that you can't even begin to admit you ARE just as bigoted. Mind you, that's fine. You do you. If you want to be a racist asshole, stop making excuses and just BE a racist asshole. If you are a self hating white person, just hate yourself and admit you are racist against people that look like you.

Frankly you'll feel a lot more free if you do.

But I know why you don't. Because you are a piece of shit. Oh I'm not done. I'm just calling you out for what you are. See I know what it is that you all do. You give into the hate, the bigotry, the racism, the sexism, the heterophobia, the biphobia, and then at the end of the day you seek out a reason to justify it and claim that, "It's actually not real hate because X reason".

No. It is real hate. It's just that you need to pretend that your reasoning for the hate is ok. What's more, you want the same ability to be just as hateful as EVERYONE else, without being called out for it. Because THEN you'd be robbed of your ability to do the same. And you'd be straight roasted off of the internet for being a moron hypocrite. Which I mean you are regardless, but far more people would be willing to call you out for it. Sadly though, leftists need an excuse that gives them a "Good reason" to be bigots. While not having to themselves, be called bigots.

Although I'm starting to look forward to what's going to come next honestly. Not because I'm going to enjoy it. But because it's going to be interesting being proved right.

Proved right about what you may ask? Well for starters the fact that a large portion of the left, unabashedly want actual violent racism in the streets. Because it would play into the Savior/Victim complexes. The White Saviors could come out swinging and say, "SEE we just KNEW this country was racist", and the people with victim complexes could say, "SEE we just knew that white people have always hated us and held us down". They are quite literally creating the people they claim to be so afraid of. It's quite the show if I do say so myself.

Now......is this something I actually want? Absolutely not. We really didn't have a very large racism issue in the US for a while. From 1980 until about 2012. Is that to say no one during those years was racist? ABSOLUTLY NOT. Racism is a human problem and it will never fully be gone. Having said that, the more we FOCUS on race, the more we actually create racism generally. Used to, people would just throw slurs around, and while yeah it wasn't great, those slurs were having their meanings stripped. Eventually it got to a point where if you said most slurs people would just shit talk you and not take it seriously. Were there people that did? Most certainly.

Though it was not a huge issue. We judged people based on character, and actions. We did not assume, "Skin color = certain history". Because it's IGNORANT as hell to see a persons skin color and assume the type of life they have lived. If you, a ignorant liberal, walk into a room and start saying, "OMG I'M SO SORRY FOR MY WHITE PRIVILEGE YOU MUST BE SO POOR AND UNEDUCATED", you ARE the racist. Period, end of story. A lot of Jewish people appear to be white and they have suffered atrocities one after another it feels like. Slavs have also suffered greatly. As have the Poles. And so have the Irish.

Frankly speaking, suffering is a human thing. Everyone has suffered throughout history. However, in the US, we have manufactured this idea that the only people EVER at all who have ever suffered are ONLY people that are not light skinned. Not only is this characterization false, it leads to stuff like, "The Oppression Olympics". IE: People fighting for who's "People" have collectively suffered more throughout history. Except there is no "Right answer" because there IS NO right answer. All that idea does is seek to turn people into perpetual victims. Of course it does. And why would it not. People are so obsessed with being the center of attention at ALL TIMES and throwing pity parties, they can't NOT talk about how much of a "Victim" they are.

There is a broader problem though with all of this. This causes racial tension to be much much worse over time in general. Because it's people going, "HEY HEY HEY I'M THE MOST OPPRESSED! LOOK AT ME NOT THAT (insert non white minority here) X b*tch who doesn't know what real oppression looks like."

I'm sorry but most of you in the West today have ZERO clue what real oppression looks like. I'm sure that the people from North Korea and Hong Kong know much more so what actual oppression looks like than you ever will in your life. What's more, most of you think the word "Trauma" is a catch all for any inconvenience you go through or any hardship at all. No, trauma is waking up from sleeping on your couch as a young child (6) to see a grown ass man trying to shove HIS DICK in your mouth. THAT is traumatizing. Most of you will never understand actual trauma. Nor will every person on earth experience it.

To try to wrap up though. Stop creating more hate. Yes you CAN be Heterophobic. You CAN be Biphobic. You CAN be racist against white people. YOU CAN be sexist against men. Stop pretending that your hate is in ANY WAY different when it's not. Sane people see through your bullsh*t. You are just as racist, sexist, and bigoted as everyone you claim to be against. You just can't swallow the fact you want the ability to be all those things. Stop making excuses. Either own up to it or gtfo. Admit that you want to be a bigot. Admit that you want to be an asshole. Admit that you want to create more hate to satiate your hero complex. Stop screwing around and making everyone's lives worse for it.

As to the Niji guy. I don't care at the fact he shit on white people as much as he did. I care that he's allowed to be as racist as he want's with ZERO punishment. While if he had been white talking about LITERALLY any other groups, he's be locked in a box and dropped into the ocean. The bullsh*t double standard needs to stop. For all of this.

[katiemcgrath]

I actually think I may just... I think I may just scream. Racism and erasure of South Asians in this country is so fucking normalised that a popular YouTuber can say a racial slur like it's nothing and you'll have South Asians defending it with their lives saying "nah, it's not a slur. No actual POC are offended. It's okay.".

No, it's not fucking okay. It's not. It is a racial slur. Your parents and grandparents were called p#ki on the streets as they were beaten, chased, and vilified. People would write it on the doors of their house. It has never been short for Pakistani. It has also never been only exclusive to Pakistanis. It was a slur against any brown person from South Asia. It is a racial slur.

We are the only ethnic group that just casually laughs off racism. We let people be racist to us. We're cool with it. Yeah, erase us from the narrative. It's fine...

Not every bloody slur has to be "reclaimed". Also, just so we are clear - it was a slur against SOUTH ASIANS, not exclusively Pakistanis. It is NOT short for Pakistani, it is a racial SLUR.

Can we just... Stop being so fucking brain dead.

Edit: if you are Pakistani and you and your friends/family refer to yourselves with that term as short for Pakistani - fine. Whatever. You do you. But you MUST distinguish it between that and the literal racial SLUR against South Asians.

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

Beyond Hope chapter 2

here it is or read it down below

Daniel thinks about it and thinks about it.  

While he does, his condition worsens.  It’s only a few weeks, but it’s a rapid decline.  He tries to hide the difficulty chewing and swallowing.  It’s fine; he doesn’t need to put much food in him anyway.  He’s having issues using the bathroom.  He’s lucky to piss twice a day, in the morning when he wakes up and at night before he goes to bed.  

He starts acting out his dreams while asleep.  One night, he makes it out of his room and falls down the stairs.  The impact wakes him, the pain searing through his entire body.  He’s tangled in a pile of limbs at the bottom of the stairs, left arm twisted at an odd angle and his shoulder blade feels like there’s glass under the skin.  His right ankle throbs and when he tries to push himself up, he can’t.  

He’s an old man who has fallen and can’t get up.  Daniel tries, again and again, but his stiff muscles refuse to allow him to rise.  After what feels like hours, hot tears spill from his eyes.  

Daniel does the only thing he can think of, and mentally calls out to Lestat.  Armand used to be able to hear him call out like this from nearly anywhere.  But then, he and Armand had the blood connecting them.  

Lestat arrives within the hour.  When he sees Daniel he rushes to him and helps him to stand.  Daniel can’t support his weight on his right ankle and nearly buckles.  Lestat sweeps him up in his arms like some princess and carries him to sit down on the couch.  He talks to him, but Daniel isn’t really listening to what he’s saying.  The pain is too much.  

Lestat calls an ambulance for him and sits with him to wait for it to arrive.  He asks what happened, more gently than Daniel knew Lestat was capable of being.  Daniel finds it’s difficult to speak, his speech slurring.  It’s happened on occasion, here and there, but it’s gotten worse now.  He sounds drunk.  So he explains it mentally, trusting Lestat to read his thoughts.  

The ambulance arrives a little less than twenty minutes later.  Lestat berates them for taking so long and insists on riding with Daniel to the hospital.  Daniel closes his eyes and when he opens them, he’s in a hospital bed with a IV in his arm.  Lestat is standing near the foot of the bed with an Asian woman in her mid-forties in a white coat.  He’s explaining how he’s been taking care of his poor sick uncle, and found him tonight when he returned from an evening out.  

He’s taken for X-rays, and poked and prodded, and questioned.  In the end, he has a dislocated shoulder, a broken wrist and a sprained ankle.  The doctors seem more worried he hasn’t been eating like he should.  And that he hasn’t taken a shit in a week.  Dr. Park wants to keep him overnight for observation, though Daniel objects.

“Nonsense, Daniel.  If the good doctor says you are to stay, you’ll stay.”

Daniel glares at Lestat.  Lestat glares right back.  

Dr. Park glances between the two of them and says “I’ll give you two a moment of privacy.”

As soon as she’s gone, Lestat is by Daniel’s side.  Daniel’s lower arm is in a cast and his ankle is in a brace, and his damn shoulder is still sore from where they reset it.  Lestat eyes his injuries, then looks him in the face.   “Your condition is worsening.  You need to decide.”

He’s silent for a beat, then says “I don’t want to watch you die.”

“I don’t wanna die,” Daniel says.  

“Then you accept my offer?”

Daniel hesitates; thinks of Armand just for a moment.  He’d be furious if someone else turned Daniel into a vampire.  But then, he had never loved him enough to offer him the dark gift.  Lestat barely likes him and offers it.  

Lestat isn’t the best vampire mentor; he’s learned that from Louis.  But before he met Lestat, he thought him nothing but a monster.  Now he knows there’s a softer side.  It doesn’t justify the things he did or make them okay, but it makes him easier to forgive.  Besides, people change.  He’s hardly the same man he was fifty years ago.  And the thing about immortality is you have forever to get it right, to keep trying to be better.  

Daniel nods.  “Yeah, I accept.”

Lestat grins.  “I knew you would see reason, mon ami.” He surprises Daniel by giving him a loud smack of a kiss on the forehead.  “Once you are out of this hospital, we will make preparations.  You must get your affairs in order.  Take the time to say your goodbyes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel says.  He doubts his daughters will even speak to him.  

Lestat rises to his feet.  “I’ll go gather your things for tomorrow.  You’ll need fresh clothes to wear home.  Rest now, Daniel.”

Daniel falls asleep not long after Lestat leaves.  

It’s afternoon before he can leave the next day.  The doctors want to put him in a care facility.  It takes forever to convince them that Daniel can be released to his own care.  They only relent then when he tells them his nephew has been staying with him to care for him.  He has to call a car service to get a ride home.  Once there, he settles on the couch and spends the day watching trash television.  

All he can think is that soon, he’ll be a vampire.  He doesn’t know whether to be anxious or excited.  

That night, Lestat is later than normal.  Usually he shows up not long after sunset and generally leaves when Daniel decides to go to bed.  Daniel assumes he’s feeding, seeing as he likely interrupted him the night before.  When Lestat does arrive, he knocks on the door, something he never does.  

“Come in,” Daniel calls, not wanting to get up and open the door.  It’s hard to hobble around on the crutches the hospital gave him.  

There’s a moment where Daniel thinks Lestat must have forgotten where Daniel hies the spare key, then he hears the door open.  Lestat comes into the living room and his smile is more of a grimace.  “I don’t want you to be angry, but-”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, just gestures behind him as Armand rounds the corner.  

Daniel’s heart skips.  It’s been over a year since he last saw Armand.  He had given him the amulet before he left, and had told Daniel he would wait for him.  Daniel’s chest feels tight looking at him.  He feels frozen in place, unsure of what to say or do.

“Hello, Daniel,” Armand says and just hearing his voice sends a thrill down Daniel’s spine.  

Daniel looks to Lestat.  “What’s he doing here?”

“Ah, you’re angry.  I told you not to be,” Lestat says, as if that makes any kind of sense at all.  

“Lestat!”

It’s Armand who speaks.  “Lestat contacted me yesterday and told me what happened.  I came right away.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

Armand glances toward Lestat.  They hold eye contact for a moment, then Lestat nods and leaves the room.  Daniel watches him go with mounting anxiety and irritation.  He thought Lestat was his friend, and he pulls shit like this?

“Lestat told me what he plans to do,” Armand says, arms folded over his chest.

God, he looks good.  His hair is slicked back and he’s wearing that dark eyeliner that makes his eyes stand out.  His silk shirt is white, as are his pants.  Daniel always did like him in white.  

“And what, you’re here to stop me?” Daniel scoffs.  “Fuck off.”

Armand sighs and comes to stand in front of him.  “No, Daniel.  I’m here to offer you what you always wanted.”

“Huh?”

Armand looks away, then moves to the edge of the couch.  There’s no room to sit–Daniel has to prop up his ankle–so he perches on the armrest.  He’s doing that little self-soothing motion with his thumb.  Daniel realizes that Armand is nervous to be here.  Armand is so rarely nervous.  

“Lestat knows that you’re mine; that if anyone should make you like us, it should be me.”

Daniel doesn’t know what to say to that.  A hysterical sort of laugh bubbles up from his throat.  “What?  Someone else is going to give it to me, so now you want to?  Thought I wasn’t good enough for immortality.”

Armand closes his eyes and takes a breath.  “It was never about that, Daniel.  You have always been enough.”

Daniel’s heart aches and he has to blink back tears.  “It never felt like it.”

Armand isn’t looking at him, eyes focused somewhere over his shoulder.  “That’s my fault; I…apologize if I made you feel lacking.”

Daniel shakes his head.  “You didn’t love me enough to turn me then; what’s changed?  Or did you just call dibs?”

“What’s changed?”  Armand repeats softly.  “I suppose I have.”

Daniel waits for him to go on.  Armand  meets his eyes and Daniel can see they are swelling with tears.  Daniel hates to see Armand cry.  “Don’t cry; it’s not fair.”

“You say I didn’t love you enough to turn you; I say I loved too much to do so,” Armand says, eyes boring into him.  There’s a desperate edge to his voice, like he needs Daniel to understand something. 

It’s a sentiment he’s shared before, but Daniel never believed him.  How could he?  Except now, he can see it’s true.  It’s irrational and frustrating, but it’s true.  And Daniel thinks he can understand it now, after talking to Louis and Lestat and hearing their stories.  These vampires treat what they are like a curse.

“So why now?  Because you don’t want to share your toys with Lestat?”

“It would be a lie to say that has nothing to do with it.  His decision has forced my hand,” Armand says.  He rises and moves to kneel next to Daniel and grasps his hand.  “And why?  Because I’m a coward.  And I love you too much to let you go.”

It’s a cold triumph, after all these years.  “And why does it have to be you?  Why not Lestat?”

Armand’s free hand curls into a fist and his eyes flash.  “Because you are mine, Daniel.”

“Not anymore, boss.”

After a long minute, Armand nods.  “Perhaps not.  Nevertheless, I am yours.”

His cool hand reaches up to cup Daniel’s face.  “I would have you be mine.  My fledgling.  The only one I would break my vow for.”

Daniel feels warmth spread through him.  “Would you offer, if not for Lestat?”

Armand’s mouth curves into a sad smile.  “I told you, I’m a coward.  I could not watch you die.”

“Then what have you been waiting for?”  His own tears well and spill over.

Armand’s thumb strokes over his cheek, collecting his tears.  “Oh, Daniel.  I’ve been waiting for you to return to me.”

Stupid, that it should make him want to cry.  But Daniel is weak; and Armand feels inevitable.  Knowing that Armand would have given it to him is nearly enough to have him forgive him of all his past sins.  Still, he has to know.  “And if I didn’t?  Would you have just let me die?”

“I don’t know; I’ve been avoiding the thought.”

Daniel gets that; he’s been trying to avoid it too.  “So what now?”

“Now you may choose your maker,” Armand says.  “Lestat or I, the choice is yours.”

His hand is still pressed against Daniel’s face and Daniel realizes how cool it is.  Almost icy.  Armand must have come straight here when he heard the news without stopping to feed. He’ll be like that soon, like Armand, like Lestat.  One of them will be his maker.  

“You’ll really do it?” Daniel says.

“Say the word, my love,” Armand says and presses their foreheads together.  “I’ll do it.  We’ll be in hell together after all.”

Daniel thinks of the long months of loneliness, of wanting and missing Armand.  He never planned to act on it.  But now Armand is here.  Armand is here and giving him what he always wanted.  Armand still loves him.  And despite it all, he still loves Armand.  He doesn’t know how to stop.  

“Would it really be hell, if we’re together?”

Armand draws back and kisses his forehead, both his cheeks and finally his mouth.  It feels like coming home.   Daniel clutches him to him with a hand buried in his hair.  Armand pulls back, but only enough to speak.  “Then you’d have me do it?”

“Yeah, yes,” Daniel says.  “I want to live forever with you.”

Forever with Armand.  There’s still a lot of things they have to work out, fights that have to be fought, conversations that need to be had.  They’ll have to learn how to be around each other again, how to make these new versions of themselves fit together.  

Luckily, they’ll have all the time in the world.

[kitten--thoughts]

My Inuit Heritage

CW: Slur mention, mentions of sexual assault

I knew that I mentioned before that I didn't want to talk about my personal life on here, but I thought this was worth talking about.

I believe that I'm Inuit. The Europeans in my life could categorize me as a dark-skin European, and that's fine. That's why even now I subconsciously live in the 2000's, because Europeans wanted to have tan skin because they saw it as aesthetically appealing. I don't know everyone's personal story as to why they wanted their pale skin to be darker.

Anyways, when I was younger, my father put on Ice Age. I was honestly more fixated on the humans' storyline than the silly wacky animals to entertain the stupid people, but it was always cleverly balanced and I appreciated it.

I feel like I'm more of my father's child than my mother's child. I always had a meat-focused diet: fish, meat. I became inspired to try to become a vegan by learning about diets in asian countries like Japan. Chinese food was a constant in my life as well. I also liked to be comfortable and cozy so I'm obsessed with the clothes i see some inuits wear in Google images. I like Icelandic patterns. My father also liked to wear sweaters. I had a fixation of hot chocolate because our house was always cold but my father felt most comfortable with the temperature, he always drank tea.

I don't mean to trigger anyone, but in my elementary school, there was a traditional Halloween costume parade around the block where every student would wear their costume proudly and all the parents would take pictures to remember their child with their friends representing or being whatever they'd like.

I got a light pink eskimo costume. I immediately felt comfortable and secure wearing it. The material was very soft and comfortable. I felt like everything was right and it clicked in my soul like a key. Even the boys called me cute for the costume. My entire life I wanted to be Japanese or Chinese, but remembering how I felt in that soft costume made me realize that there is a reality for me that's even better than maybe those two existences: being a proud Inuit.

I saw a article somewhere that tried to say that the word "eskimo" is considered a slur towards Inuit people. i believed it immediately because I was a bit younger than I am now. I was shocked because I heard the term "eskimo kisses" and my mother used to do them to me when I was younger. That was my favorite way of showing affection. My partner told me to not worry about it but I still internalized that belief, because I only identified as black at that time (mainly due to my appearance and the culture that surrounded me during those days) and I was disassociated from my awareness of me being a indigenous myself until my father told me.

He told me that he was Native American along with other things. When I met actual Native Americans, it was really hard to find or have any slight of connection, we both felt uncomfortable and distant, and even scared of each other.

I found myself having a gravity towards European things ever since I was a little girl. So that's probably why I lean towards the Nurture in the Nature vs. Nurture argument. I can write a whole paper on this sometime..

My art therapist was wearing a pattern that reminded me of Native American patterns. I inquired about it and she actually told me it was a Eastern European pattern. Another click. I can't really consider myself biracial because my skin tone is not exactly the palest and I represent three races. I always thought things would only resonate with you if there is something inside of you that is compatible with it, because there's tons of other cultures and aspects of it I have never and probably never will be in touch or witness. So yeah. I represent a lot of different cultures, but I'd hate for someone to make me feel insecure about it. I worked hard to feel secure and grounded about myself, and I am proud.

Maybe the bottom line is this. Black people who do not feel comfortable in the black community and find theirselves genuinely gravitating to White/European things should try identifying as Inuit. I felt immediately understood when I shared to my friends that I was a american Inuit. Everything made sense to me now. I don't want to disturb anyone who lives in the artic.

I feel like the term African-American was written to help people who came from African countries and were born there to have a identity and see it as a nationality. I was born in America and so were my two parents. None of us came from Africa, and this is my first generation family. I have been mistreated horribly ever since I even slightly considered interacting with individuals in said black community. My dad has forced me to fit in with these individuals and I almost died several times, both spiritually and physically. I was sexually assaulted several times, and other awful things I don't want to remember. I always felt safer in different communities even if my family considers my plight for comfort and safety as silly. So I'm trying to spread awareness of the inuit community.

Thank you for reading. I hope one day you too will find yourself

Written by kitten

4 21 24

[tea-and-secrets]

I’m really uncomfortable with the family I’m pet sitting for right now. If they ask me to again I’m going to say no. They have three pets: a dog and two cats. Their pets are fine, but it’s their family that bothers me. They’re really hardcore hippies, which I guess is whatever, I’m not bothered by that, but they’re very… I guess insensitive is the word?

The mother of the family (all of whom are white) wears her hair in locs, and they have statues of two different Asian religious figures in their house for the… aesthetic, I guess. Worst of all, though?

Their dog’s name is literally a racial slur. They didn’t name her that with malicious intentions, but it’s so fucking tone deaf.

Their two cats have totally non offensive names- one is named after Dr. Seuss and one after the color of her fur- but my problem with them is that they’re “outdoor cats.” They have a window with a hole in the screen where the cats go in and out whenever they feel like it. I not only think outdoor cats are a stupid idea, but there are at least five families in this neighborhood who have outdoor cats, and I have witnessed people almost run over at least one cat from all of those families while driving at night. On top of that, there are raccoons, foxes, stray cats, and other animals that get aggressive and can hurt the cats, and tons of rabbits, squirrels, mice, rats, etc. that get hunted to hell by these cats. I’ve seen enough dead small animals and nearly dead cats to be completely turned off to this idea.

I don’t want to be responsible for either of these little guys getting killed on the road because they said it was ok for them to go outside. While I’m here, I’m keeping the windows shut. I’ve got fans running in the house when I’m there so it doesn’t get too hot and am keeping them entertained to make up for what they’re probably lacking in outside time.

This probably sounds awful, and like I think I’m totally superior to this family, but I’m just completely uncomfortable with the way they treat their pets, and while I’m here I don’t want to do that. I am completely uncomfortable with this family as a whole.

.

[real-godzekiel]

🥛Do nothing. Nothing works!🥛

Name: Godzekiel(Zeke)/Coconot Pronouns: Ey/Em and Prn/Prns. (Use any except they/them if you can't handle my crazy booger pronouns.)

Thanks for visiting my page! May Ezekiel be with you.

🥥ADDITIONAL INFO🦠

I am an East Asian Canadian from Shanghai China so I have many Chinese internet friends. I will speak Mandarin and reclaim sinophobic slurs. i speak crazy 😼

I identify as fictional characters. . Sorry! "is it kinning is this a mental illness are you this are you that what are you uh why are you like this uhm why just why " sorry gusy im just ezekiel . im kind of just em. sorry . i know i started from a weird funny kinning ask blog thing. i do, at the core, SERIOUSLY see myself as an ezekiel. this is a thing and i do not know how to explain/label it and i don't want to 😼

I am 14!!!! I AM 14 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!! 😼

I like many media that some may consider "problematic". I do not support romanticization of serious topics or bigotry in fiction. I am critical of everything I enjoy and will encourage others to do the same. 😼

If there’s anything that I've posted or did that you find upsetting feel free to tell me! I genuinely don’t want to irritate anyone and I try to respect all points of view. I like to always change for the better and fix problems around me. I will also answer any kind of question asked to me in my inbox./gen!!!! /gen!!!!!!!!! 😼

i draw/reblog gore and horror. it's a side interest i had since childhood and i tag them. i think it's good, but it's also bad. but mostly good. actually all bad. anyways Happy Tree Friends all the way 😼

Current interests are BRBA/BCS/LOTR/DHMIS/TUDOMP look at these acronyms and tell me you understand 😼

EVERYTHING I POST IS OKAY TO REBLOG!!! EVERYTHING I POST IS OKAY TO COMMENT!!! Do what you want with me, 关我屁事!!! The only things I beg you not to do is discrimination to minorities and real harm to real people. (you can harm me though im not real) 😼 😼

🐀TAGS🐟

#teedee ken confassion: Tag for the ask shit that started my blog. I love you Mod Staci! 😼

#godzekiel: All about me and me and me and me and me and Godzekiel. Might be kind of a random ramble tag to some. The contents are very vague and may contain triggering content and unreality since I say literally anything in this tag. Feel free to ask if you want a post tagged!!!!!! (Almost nothing in #godzekiel will ever absolutely represent any of my beliefs and stances. Please digest the things I say yourself and try not to jump into conclusions. I’m incredibly open to criticism, you can basically say anything that’s focused about me and I’ll be fine with it.) 😼

#no jokes no satire no irony: Posts where I find it important to clarify I'm completely genuine and saying what I believe and feel. Not always serious or important, but necessary nonetheless.

#askee: Your typical ask tag! 😼

#the pen is greater than the sword: Art-made-by-me tag. It's actually "mightier" but I'm too tired to change it. 😼

#moosic h: Music-made-by-me tag. Beep boop besoop. 😼 😼

[kodiescove]

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

Four Stars

Trigger warnings: Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Racism, Queerphobia, Queerphobic Slurs, Sexual Assualt, Sex Work, Suicidal Ideation, Negative Self Talk, Misgendering, Running from War, R-slur, Racial Slurs

Diversity: Trans Woman Author, Trans Woman MC, Sapphic MC, Characters of Color(Asian main characters), Nonbinary character

Keywords: Heavy, Queer Struggles, Music, Run-away, Abuse, PTSD

Oh, Light from Uncommon Stars, how different you are than i expected you to be from the TJ Klune endorsement on the front….

Let’s get one thing out of the way, this book has heavy themes if you couldn’t tell from the trigger warning list. Though this book contains mature and triggering content, I never felt like it was handled poorly. This book has as much grace and tact as Satomi Shizuka herself, and it is something I appreciate about the writing.

What I did not appreciate, however, was how confusing the first 50 or so pages were. I, personally, had a hard time with the beginning and the way that the author chose to introduce the main cast. Before the story finally settled in, I found myself frustrated in trying to figure out who exactly was the main cast, and who to pay attention to. I do not peg this as bad writing, but simply writing that is not exactly compatible with my brain. If you have a hard time with the who’s who and keeping track of multiple characters, don’t worry it gets better.

So what is there to say about this book?

Oh man did I find myself in Katrina. Though we are not the same gender, we have dealt with similar struggles. I wholly relate to running away from abuse only to be swept up by a mentor so accepting of my/Katrina’s identity and so full of interest into the talents I/she has. Though the reasoning may be a little less than pure, the transitional period was sincere and relatable. I liked how the author didn’t just give Katrina a 180 in character and security, that she recognized that an abuse victim needs time to adjust and find their new normal once freed from their abuser. I feel so many people are inclined to write an abuse survivor as this totally okay 100% better version of themselves ready to take on the world, where that simply is not the case in a majority of survivor stories.

The characters were all unique, especially for such a large cast. All but one character was enjoyable for me to read about. Unfortunately, there is a character with very poor mental health that made me hold my breath and feel… uncomfortable? I was very uneasy when reading about them. BUT! I believe that was the point of the character. I don’t think you could write a mentally ill character without some discomfort. And to this characters credit, they were not stereotyped into a bad person, a villian, like they very easily could have. I was actually waiting for that to happen whenever they were the focus of the story. Beyond that character, everyone else was fine, even the demon. Each character interaction felt realistic and sincere. Though that means that some minor characters were not so pleasant. This IS a book about a transgender girl, after all. And though I would love to live in a world where prejudice doesn’t exist, it does, and writing that into a story about a transgender teen is just realism. Though, it was handled with tact and care.

I loved the way the author describes things. Though it may seem flowery to some, I found myself entranced in the writing. I especially loved the way she wrote about Katrina’s first violin performance, and how said performance affected her afterwards. Her descriptions were heartfelt, in my opinion. From describing how a food can taste like home, to what it feels like to carry trauma around with you. Despite the confusing beginning, the writing was absolutely lovely, and I enjoyed it more than I’ve enjoyed a good portion of the books I’ve read this year. Her writing has really captivated me, and I think I will pick up more of her books in the future.

[what-if-nct]

hiiii is it ok if i ask for some advice? im sorry im gonna sound rambly but uhhh i'm 14 and starting high school next year (which i alrdy dont feel too good abt haha) and my (overbearing asian) parents are going to send me to this private lutheran hs instead of the public one i was supposed to go to bc its more upper class and smart (?). tbh i was genuinely surprised that i liked the school, academic-wise, and i rlly liked that i had the space in my schedule to take more fine arts classes (i dont have any in my hs) but like the first thing the principal said to me was that i "needed to learn to be a good christian". a whole hour each week is dedicated to jesus and i just know my atheist ass is going to be uncomfortable asf. first, one of my best friends has a thing for jesus (he says jesus is too hot to be straight 😭) and i cant tell if hes joking anymore, and second, i dont have a problem with people who are religious, but i do when they are flat out hateful and harrassing people from communities they "dont agree with", and i just know the people preaching at this school are the latter.

also rn i am the *only* poc in my entire school, and i noticed there were a lot more asian students and students of color, so hopefully there'll be less kids pulling at their eyes or calling me slurs :D

anyways i not a fan of the fact that "homosexual behavior on or off campus" warranted for expulsion, since i am a *very* queer and bisexual individual. at my current school, i dont really need to hide my gayness bc no one cares, and my teachers are accepting (my homeroom teachers a lesbian lol <33). i dont think i can handle having to hide such a big part of my identity at home *and* at school :( too add to that i really suck at making friends, so being somewhere without people i'm comfortable with, my anxiety gets really bad, and i just shut down completely.

my hs is p rundown (like most public highschools are) and the classes are average at best, so idk man, im torn :( i dont know if i should suck it up and go to lutheran school bc their good academics, or ✨be myself✨ and go to p shitty school :/

i dont know what to do (or if i can even do anything) abt it i just dont feel too good about this :( you've mentioned you went to a christian school, so do you have any advice? even if you dont, thank you so so much for listening to me rant for a moment there <33 i really treasure you and your blog, atp you feel like the big sister i've never had. i love youuuu <333

That is such a sticky situation. Cause maybe you can try to persuade your parents especially since they'll be paying for the private school on top of college tuition in the future, it can be a huge selling point. I know that's how I won in the decision of beauty school over college it's cheaper. And christian and catholic schools are heavily based in religion like it's a huge part of it so if you don't believe in it it can be absolutely mind numbing. I actually didn't go to Christian school, actually wasn't forced to go to church as a child, I was like 11 and for some reason told grandma Christianity is responsible for all the bad things that happened in the world. Which is wild that I even was able to come to that conclusion as a child she just brushed me off. But I did go to church summer camp to be with my friends which my friend and I got scolded for holding hands but she was just leading me through the crowd of people. So that's still unfortunately a huge part of christian beliefs

the thing that really caught me off guard is the homosexual activity off campus can lead to expulsion. On campus like sucks but is expected of a christian school sadly. But off campus in your day to day life is like your actions off campus shouldn't be judged by the school. Like I can't wrap my mind around that. I think since you have a whole summer maybe look for more schools you can attend I remember doing this in middle school because my home high school was an F school so you could choose any high school within a certain range. You'd be really surprised with how many schools are around you I'm assuming you're in the us but I'm sure everywhere has a ton of schools. And look for a school that holds some of what your parents want and also your own values and needs for your education. And maybe your parents seeing you take initiative might be an extra point.

If your parents are deadset on it. I think try to make the best out of it as much as you can usually there's a group of people in the same boat you're in where their parents forced them to be there. Trust me no matter where you go you will always be drawn to those like you every single time. But if you do get the choice of going to the original public school firstly screw every single racist little bitch who does that to you that is horrid I am so sorry you have to endure that. People suck. But you can also learn extra independently I always did that cause I was a bit ahead of my class. But I really think researching more schools in your area would help you find the perfect school for you. I personally was in love with Waldorf schools they're more creative led schools and freer, I wanted to go to one so badly. So figure out the exact kind of education you want like a magnet school, charter school it doesn't hurt to see how receptive your parents will be to it.

I really hope this helped at all and I hope it works out well for you. And Awwww it's so sweet you see me as a big sister, I gladly be your big sister, love you too🌸🌸🌸

[tianshiisdead]

nah ur totally valid. i hope they grow and change tho, bc i dont want to live in a world where ppl like this exist 🙃

yeahhh tbh I agree :')) hope we can move forward somehow fkjdhlg (sorry to go off on you anon but I ended up typing a rant so feel free to stop here haha it's only tangentially related!)

I think I'm just frustrated because of all the attention towards growing and changing and such, like I get it and agree that people should grow and change and be given the space to do so, but a lot of times when people talk about it I feel like it's almost treated as more important than the hurt that they cause? Like, I'm just petty and hateful tbh but I don't have anything but hatred and resentment for people who spout racist or hateful things, I almost don't want them to be happy or get better, I'm the one that's hurt by them so why are they the focus? I hate how irl unless someone actively shouts a slur or physically threatens me with violence, I always have to shut up, I always have to keep the peace, if someone irl is subtly condescending or racist to me it's either on me to teach them and make them either hate me or tiptoe around me, or not tell them anything or push back at all and then later feel guilty about it. I'm just so frustrated with everything, I'm always pulling myself back and smiling and brushing things off irl as long as they're not openly malicious, but actually I hate it! I don't forgive it! I'm tired of taking the burden onto myself. I'm tired of the fact that pretty much every roommate I've had in these few years of uni is white and in some ways pretty openly ignorant, I hate how they try and, like, get my approval on asianness or something by pointedly making insensitive comments but get either angry or overly sad when I speak up and then I have to either back down or comfort them and LIVE with their condescending comments, I'm tired of being talked down to and pointed out and having to sit there and pretend everything is okay. Back when I was a sheltered little kid who only hung out with the Easian and Desi kids at school I only understood racism in mockery and violence because I almost never interacted with that many white people outside of teachers and, like, librarians, but then I came out into the world where I had to talk to coworkers and roommates and classmates for extended periods of time and it's horrible and I hate it, it's worse than just calling me slurs or making jokes about me being a sex worker imo. Growing and changing, in general, is fine but I'm tired of people pretending EVERYONE cares SOOO much about racism and the TRUE victim that needs to be addressed is the former/subtle racist who's getting 'attacked' the moment someone points it out, and not the people hurt by it. I hate how anything less than a slur has to be reacted to gently, after dealing with it day after week after month after year, and all of it building on top of the pre-existing internalized racism and open racism I've dealt with, I don't have any energy or patience and i just HATE them, I hate them so deeply and I hate all of them and I don't want them to get better and be praised for it like they're the main character and I'm just a symbol of what they used to be like.

[pathofreason]

"literally words" so whites and asians and so on should be allowed to say the n slur whenever they want because it's just a word, verbally abusing/bullying/whatever children is normal and good because nobody is physically being assaulted, etc... LMAO kys. Oh and I can and should actually be able to tell people to kill themselves because this isn't rude it's just words. Anyways moving on to the insanely cringe shit if you're a grown ass 30yo woman calling sex/porn/etc "spice" "because of censorship/so your post won't be taken down/etc" BULLSHIT when words such as intercourse, fling (although it's not always a word to describe sex it can be used that way), fornication, coupling (I don't see it as often but still), mating (cringe as hell... but at least it's a proper word and description in this context), affair, lovemaking (cringefest.... Whatever once again a good description), screwing (if TikTok tries to nerf you or something at least you can act dumb and say its about screws or something idfk), etc.... None of these words are uncommon (well maybe coupling isn't used as often at least from what I see) or hard to understand. Yall bitches act like children going to see their favourite princess at Disneyland. Well I suppose you are except that yours are being raped by animals and conditioned to enjoy it. But it's words so it's fine it doesn't impact real world children who are getting their hands on these "books" freely in any way shape or form because they're just words. Anyways I could go on but I don't feel like it I hope all yall porn addicts get shot or at least come to some sort of epiphany where you discover the existence of real literature and the beauty of it instead of being braindead as hell porn addicts who think that "our son's balls are so big" or rape/conditioning/etc are the only good things literature can offer you and other such

[skztuary]

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 23일 9월 2023년

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ now playing: 승전가 (victory song) performance video by stray kids

i don't know where to start. earlier, i was thinking about what i wanted to say but now i feel i don't know,, empty? like, there's nothing to say. god, the world just pisses me off. its not in a "god i'm so depressed" way anymore its just, disappointment? all of you just make me tired, annoyed. sometimes i wish i still had that childlike thought of "why cant everyone just get along?" i don't even know why i had that thought as a kid because my life back then wasn't even that good.

last week, i went out with my younger cousins and my grandparents. i wanted to scream, cry, break down, etc. i hate what they've become. i remember when i would see them more often, when they were 8 and 4. i was young too, but i was older than them both and i looked after them. i stopped seeing them so much. the thing about them is that they're white. my dad's side of the family (which is the side they're on) is korean. fully. my grandparents were both born in korea but moved to london (my nan) and australia (my grandpa) at a young age. then, they moved back to korea when they had my dad in ulsan but moved back to the uk before having my aunt.

my aunt is really young, so are my parents & grandparents, but to put it in perspective she was 17 when she had her first kid and 21(?) when she had her second. their baby daddy wasn't the best (or so i've heard from multiple people, i've gotten to the age where i can start to hear family drama lol) but she no longer has the kids even though she was a much better parent. i'm not too sure what happened to those kids, the dad didn't take them, i think they live in korea with another family member now?

but she adopted two kids, my nan said she "always liked kids a bit too much" when i was looking at baby photos and there was one of me and her. there was one of me and her under a cherry blossom tree, she was holding me while in her school uniform. but the point of this ramble is both of the adopted kids are white. she has two other biological kids. they're mixed. third korean, third english and third bengali. i wouldn't bring this up unless it was important.

uh yeah but i hated every second of seeing them again. they pulled their eyes back, called me slurs, said shit i don't even wanna repeat not only about asians but africans too. all i'm saying is they made some comments about their brothers being more tan than them.

my grandparents didn't even say anything. my grandfather even encouraged them by making asian jokes. i'm fine with asian people making asian jokes, hell i've probably said some when i was younger. but it's not ever okay to teach white kids that it's okay to do that. my mum said it's because he's from a more white exclusive area of australia and not from an area with more diversity like us. but he's asian? he's a grown man he needs to deal with own internalised racism.

my nan tried to subtly excuse it (whether she realised it more not) by saying he's autistic so he doesn't understand, i am autistic and i understand why i shouldn't do that‽ he just started high school so teach him‽‽‽

i'm fucking sick of it lol but whatever. i don't even remember what i was talking about originally but i guess this is why my blog is here, to let it all out.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ╱|、 ok lolol byeeeeee ♡ (˚ˎ 。7 |、˜〵 じしˍ,)ノ