#so navigating that is gonna be an added layer of complexity (esp bc I call them Books but they don’t go by that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

notjanine · 1 year ago

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i’m taking them to my friend’s wedding tomorrow, so it’s time for my autistic ass to lead socially 😳

i’ll stop talking about this mf eventually but like okay. i hate being taken care of. 99% of the time, i HATE being taken care of. but i am also not naturally skilled at social stuff, like i’ve learned and i can do it and i’m good at it now, but—iiiii hate to admit it—but i’ve always wanted to be with someone who can like. take the driver’s seat, socially. and Bookstore just knows exactly how to shine the spotlight on me in a group setting. sometimes i get so overwhelmed taking everything in that i forget to talk even when i have relevant things to add! but they know just when to say Oh al said/did/made me watch/read/listen to xyz, and then give me the space to elaborate. or they’ll be more subtle and say like [Nearby person who likes something i like], have you seen/do you know about [specific thing they know i love] and it’s. gosh it’s really nice. also they are very big and warm. gosh

#i took them to one small party with my friends a couple months ago and i probably didn’t do as good a job as i should have #but there should be more people at this that they’ll have big stuff in common with #but also… this is the friend who set me up w tech guy so he might be there #he never responded when i ended things w him (in a polite and friendly way!)#and apparently he never said anything about me/us to our mutual friend during or after when we were seeing each other #so idk if he’s gonna be butthurt. he was really pushing my boundaries and trying to make that something it wasn’t so idk #but oh well! there’ll be 100+ other people there so!#and it’ll be fun these friends getting married are v fun #and the whole thing is gonna be outside in a beautiful spot with lots of wildflowers #i went to help set up today and found a giant stick bug 💚#but oh #also it’s gonna be awkward bc Books doesn’t go by Books irl they use their real name but unfortunately #their name is the same as this good friend’s absolutely evil ex husband.#so they cannot use their name at this event bc ppl will be like WHO is here?! 🔪🔪🔪#so navigating that is gonna be an added layer of complexity (esp bc I call them Books but they don’t go by that #AND our mutual v good friend who does call them by their actual name will be there too)#i’m fine it’ll be fine i’m over thinking things right whatever #oh also speaking of leading socially i introduced them to my mom (via video chat) a couple weeks ago so. it’s real real

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