#so my ma told me I��d have hurt the shoes feelings to apologize and then to put them back lol

[spencessmile]

Let Me In

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Reader 

Summary - Spencer takes you to visit his mother but it doesn’t go as planned.  

Warnings - Angst & Fluff 

Word Count -  2,510 words

All imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and post it without my consent. 

Feedback and comments are always welcome. Happy reading! 

Requests are open!

**  

Even though you've been to Las Vegas for a couple of cases, but after profiling and catching unsubs you want nothing more than to go home so you never got the chance to spend any time exploring the city. 

You and Spencer landed in Las Vegas on Friday. Spencer dragged you around between Saturday and Sunday showing you some places here and there and all of his favorite places. 

It was Monday morning and you found yourself putting on too many layers of clothes. You looked out the window and noticed the trees blowing, indicating that it was windy. Even though it was almost March the forecast was between 36 to 40 degrees. You were used to cold weather but after being in warm weather and suddenly finding yourself in a colder environment, it completely messed with your body. 

"One steaming cup of coffee for my love," Spencer put the cup down, wrapping his hands around your waist. 

"Spence," You groaned. "Why is it so cold?" Spencer snuggled his neck into your shoulder. 

"We live in Virginia," He chuckled. 

You looked at him through the mirror. "Yeah, so?" 

"Virginia is way colder than Vegas." 

"Were in Nevada, this is the desert," You say. "It's not supposed to be this cold."

"Baby, the desert is known for the temperatures dropping below freezing." 

"Yeah whatever you say genius," You mumbled. "I'm still cold by the way," Spencer moved to his closet and pulled out a long royal blue scarf. He wrapped it nicely around your neck, pulling your hair out watching it loosely fall into your shoulders. 

"How about now?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. 

"Ohhh," You said, snuggling your chin in the incredibly soft scarf. "Much better." 

"Good," He said, kissing your cheek. "Have your coffee and then we'll get going, alright?" You nodded. 

You and Spencer have been dating for three years and Spencer told you about the condition of his mother. A couple of months into dating you introduced Spencer to your parents but you never pushed to meet his mother knowing the situation. You know that Spencer would take you to meet her whenever he felt the time was right. 

**

Your head was in Spencer's lap, as you both were watching a random movie on TV.

"Can I ask you something?" Spencer suddenly asked, you turned your face towards his. 

"Fire away." 

Spencer played with your hair, lingering with his thoughts. You reached up for his face. "What's wrong?" 

"Would you want to meet my mother?" You were taken back by his sudden question and Spencer took notice, immediately.  

It was at times like this that being an FBI profiler, sucked. You and Spencer read each other super quickly. You both promised each other that when you started dating that you would never profile each other but it's easier said than done. 

"Why did you ma-" 

"No," You sat up quickly and stopped him before he could continue. "I'm just taken back because you asked so suddenly." 

"Are you not ready to meet her?" He asked. 

"It's not that." 

"When what?" 

"Spence," You held his hands. "Just because you met my parents, I don't want you to feel that you have to introduce me to your mom. I want you to introduce me whenever you feel ready. I don't care if that takes seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, or decades. I want to meet her when you feel comfortable. I will never push you." 

Spencer pulled you in for a hug, "I love you."

"I love you too," You pulled back. 

"Can I tell you something?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'm comfortable with you meeting my mom." 

"Then I'd love to meet the woman who raised you." 

**

You and Spencer got to the facility where his mom was, but before opening the door Spencer pulled at your hand, halting your steps towards. 

"What's wrong?" You asked, the wind blowing your hair. 

"Before we go inside I need to know if you're okay with this?" 

"I'm fine." 

"I never know what type of day she is having but I always hope for the best Y/N," Spencer says. "I just don't want her to terrify you or say something that might offend you because she can sometimes do that." 

"That's not her talking," You spoke. "That's the medications she's on." 

"I know," Spencer nodded. "I just hope she's having a good day." 

"Well if she is having a bad day, I'm sure it'll turn around once she sees this beautiful face," You said, squishing Spencer's face and he lightly laughed. "Come on, I want to meet the lovely woman you raised such a dorky, intelligent, and handsome man whom I love so much." 

You reached up on your tiptoes and gave him a kiss, and you felt him relax. Spencer took a deep breath lacing his hand with yours. 

Spencer stepped into the facility first and you followed. There was a woman standing at the door and she greeted Spencer with a wide smile. You flashed the woman your ID and she nodded. 

"Spencer I should warn you about your mother's condition before you go in to see her," She said holding her clipboard. 

"Dr. D's/N, I already know the condition of my mother." You could feel Spencer tense up beside you. 

"There have been rece-" 

"If I have any further concerns I will speak to you," Spencer led you down the hall and stopped in front of the beige-colored door. Spencer carefully stepped into the room and you followed. Sitting on a chair near the bed was a woman, who was flipping through, what looked like a scrapbook. She had short blonde hair and was wearing a flannel pajama with a hoodie. 

"Hi mom," Spencer said softly, not wanting to startle his mom. She immediately closed the book and moved her chair further back. 

"Spencer?" She questioned. "What are you doing here?" 

"I came to see you," He said walking up to her. She flashed him a small smile and hugged Spencer. They stayed hugging each other for a few moments and you couldn't help but stare. Spencer's mom noticed you were staring and pulled back. 

"Spencer, who on earth is that? Why is she staring?" She pointed to you. 

"Mom," Spencer motioned for you to come closer. "This is Y/N, my girlfriend," You took a step forward. 

"No!" She said looking away from you. "Don't come any closer." 

"Hey, hey," Spencer said, putting his hands on his mom's shoulders. "It's okay, she's not going to hurt you. She's with me." 

You didn't move an inch from your spot. "Ms. Reid, it-" 

"Do not say my name from that disgusting mouth of yours!" She yelled at you. "Spencer get her out of here!" 

"Mom what are you doing?" Spencer said looking at his mom with concern, helping her sit down. "She's harmless," Spencer looked back at you. "Y/N, come here," You just continued to look at Spencer's mom. 

"NO!" She yelled, starting to panic. "She was here all last night! She was watching me through the door! I saw her, Spencer!" 

"Mom sh-" 

"She tried to kill me last night, she stood by the door all last night!" Spencer's mom threw a flower vase at you, but your quick reflexes were faster as you moved out of the way, watching it shatter into pieces beside you. 

"Mom, what are you doing?!" Spencer asked as she continued to throw things at you. 

"Spence, it's okay," You finally said. "I'll go, I'll just wait outside. It's okay." 

"Y/N, no wait," As Spencer tried to grab your hand Spencer's mom grabbed him by the arm. 

"Do not follow that wicked evil woman! She's pure evil. She tried to kill me last night Spencer!” 

"Mom Y/N didn't try to kill you last night. She was wit-" He tried to explain. 

"Noooooooooo!!!" She yelled. Before you could even leave the room, nurses came rushing it. You decided to give them space and walked out of the facility. You walked outside until you saw a bench. 

You sat down waiting for Spencer. The wind had picked up a bit so you put your hands in your pocket and leaned your head towards your knees, looking down at your shoes. It stayed like that for a while until you heard the facility doors open. 

"Y/N?" You heard someone call out for you, you stood up and saw Spencer standing on the steps. "Y/N?" He called out to you again. 

"Spence!" You waved your hand until he caught your attention. As soon as he noticed you he ran to you as fast as his feet allowed him. He pulled you in for a hug immediately. 

"Are you okay?" You ask, rubbing his back and he pulled back.

"I should be asking you that." 

"I'm fine," You answer. 

You knew Spencer had a lot on his mind, you guided him towards the bench and sat down. Neither of you said anything. You could tell Spencer was building his walls. When he built walls he pushed everyone out, that included; you. 

Over the years you were the person Spencer would talk to everything about, you were his person. He shared almost everything with you. You once pushed Spencer to tell you about his family since you knew nothing about them and Spencer refused but you kept pushing and pushing, little did you know that while you pushed Spencer he had silently built up a wall from ever talking about his family. 

When Morgan and JJ told you about Spencer's mother, you immediately apologized for pushing. Ever since then you never brought it up. 

"Spence, you built up these walls when it comes to your mother and family. I will never understand how you feel," It was true, you would never know how he feels on a daily basis about his family but you always try to be there for him. "I know it's difficult for you to talk about it with people but you can't block me out. You have to let me in." 

Spencer laid his head on your shoulder, not saying anything but letting you know he heard you. 

"I'm so sorry," Spencer finally spoke up. 

"No," You said. "Don't you dare apologize to me." 

"I didn't know she was having a bad day or that she would say those things to you. If I had known I would have never brought you here to meet her." 

"Spence there is no way you could have known that she was having a bad day." 

"She's been confused when she meets new people but she's never thrown flower vases at them. I don't why she started to act that way. And the things she said to you," Spencer stopped to look at you. 

"I didn't take any offense to her words Spencer," You say, quietly. "We've had unsubs say shitter things to us and we're still here." You laughed. 

"I just didn't want her hurting you." 

"She didn't." You knew that no more how much you assured Spencer he'd still feel bad. "Babe you can't control whether she has good or bad days."

You could tell Spencer was drowning in his thoughts. 

"We can always try again," You said, his head still on your shoulder. 

"You might not have a next time," Spencer slowly said. You moved and Spencer lifted his head, looking down at his hands. 

"What do you mean?" Your heart started racing at his words. 

"The doctors said that her condition is getting worse. She's been more paranoid and acting out, as they say. They want to put her in another clinical trial but I know that she won't agree. She'll shut me out as soon as I even mention it. I had to pull her out of her last one," Spencer says. "I want to help her but I just don't know how Y/N," You moved and saw Spencer crying. 

You pulled him in for another hug, "I know you're not going to believe me when I say this but you are doing things for her. You write a letter and call her every day, you try to fly out whenever we're not on a case. You've been doing these things for so long that you probably didn't even realize that these are the ways you’re helping her." 

"Sometimes I wish I could take her home so that she wouldn't forget me," Spencer lets a few more tears fall. "I don-don't want her to forget me. I woul-wouldn't know what to do with myself," He sniffled. 

"Love," You wipe his tears and he kisses your hand. "She won't forget you. She may forget everything and anything else but please believe me when I say she is never going to forget you. You’re her son, a mother just doesn’t forget her children.” Your own words stabbed at your heart because there was so much history behind them but your story was for another day.  

Spencer nods, wiping his eyes. “How was she doing after I left?" 

"They gave her a sedative to calm her down," He replied. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"For being so understanding. I don't know what I'd do without you." 

"I don't know either," You say, shivering. "Would you happen to know any coffee shops around here? Your girlfriend is in need of a good cup of coffee and maybe one raspberry muffin." 

Spencer helped you up and wrapped the scarf around your neck tighter, "I might just know the best place," Spencer and you walked hand in hand as he guided you to his favorite coffee shop. He looked over at you and smirked. "Just one muffin?" He asked and you shook your head. 

"Okay okay, you got me, two maybe three," You replied as he laughed. 

"You know after we grab our coffee and you're still feeling cold I could think of another way to warm you up," Spencer whispered in your ear. 

You playfully hit his shoulder. "Spencer Reid!" He threw his head back in a laugh. 

You reached the coffee shop, found a table, ordered your coffees which came after a couple of minutes along with your raspberry muffin and Spencer's buttery croissant. 

"Can you promise me something?" You asked, grabbing his free hand. 

"Yeah.”  

"I know it'll be difficult for you but when things start to get tough I'm going to need you to let me in, promise?" He put his hand on yours and with the most adorable face he said; 

"I promise when things get difficult I will let you in."

** 

My walls are built up of stones but I swear for you I will tear them down - Unknown

[lyranova]

A Fractured Diamond

Episode 2: A New Team

Hi guys~! So here’s the second chapter of Diamond! I’ve been working on this for weeks and I have to admit I got really mad at myself over this because everything I have planned is for later chapters. Also, I really suck at naming spells so I apologize they’re not very good. But anyway I hope you guys enjoy this ☺️!

Word Count: 2,554

Warnings: Violence (but its not really graphic)

Neva was pissed to say the least, this was the last thing she wanted. She did not want to be sitting with three other strangers in the dining hall trying to get to know more about one another. She couldn’t believe the Captain ordered her to do this, to be in a small squad of her own. Why couldn’t he just let her be for a change? Why did he always have to stick his nose in her business? Neva watched as Mimosa’s mouth moved but wasn’t listening to a word she was saying, she wasn’t interested in any of it if she were being honest. The royal appeared to be sweet and kind, but Neva wondered if that’s how the girl actually was or if it’s what she wanted to project to others.

Klaus meanwhile was how she usually saw him; as a suck up to someone of a higher status than him, and dismissive of the ones that were of lower status. Yuno, on the other hand, was very intriguing. He was sitting silently like her, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else than where he currently was much like her. Neva looked him up and down for a moment; when he was standing he appeared to be tall, he was lean, had jet black hair, and gold eyes. Yep this kid was going to end up being very popular with the ladies. Until they found out he was a commoner that is. Neva was pulled out of her observations when she heard her name.

“ What about you Neva? What’s your magical affinity?” Mimosa asked with slight curiosity, Neva crossed her arms and slightly shrugged her shoulder.

“ Diamond magic.” She answered simply, knowing the reaction she’d get. Mimosa’s eyes grew to the size of cylinders and she let out a small gasp while Yuno’s eyes only widened slightly but otherwise didn’t have much of a reaction.

“ D-Diamond magic? Does that mean you’re..?” Mimosa trailed off, seeming to be slightly weary of the answer she would receive.

“ Don’t worry I was born and raised in the Clover Kingdom. Otherwise I’m sure I would’ve been arrested by now.” Neva assured her with a small wave of her hand as the young girl seemed to release a breath she was holding. It wasn’t the first nor would it be the last time people asked her that question. Mimosa had then turned her attention to Yuno.

“ What about you Yuno? What’s your affinity?” Yuno turned to look at the royal.

“ Uh, wind magic.” Neva blinked at his answer ‘wind magic? Any mage that I’ve encountered with that power wasn’t very special? So what is it about him that has everyone so impressed?’ She thought curiously, she had to admit, it was going to be a very interesting first mission tomorrow.

———-

The next morning the four Golden Dawn members went out on their first mission together. It was to clear out a small group of bandits, nothing too complicated. Neva at first couldn’t understand why the Captain had sent them out on such a small mission like this, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. He wanted them to get used to working together. Neva wasn’t sure how well they’d work together since all their magics weren’t really compatible with one another; her’s was diamond, Yuno’s was wind, Mimosa was plant, and Klaus was steel. So how in the world would they be able to work with each other? Neva huffed. ‘The Captains probably thought of that as well.’ She shook her head, before hearing Mimosa call out to them from the steel carriage she and Klaus were in.

“ We’re almost there. It should be right in that clearing!” Neva and Yuno nodded, both having chosen to use their brooms instead of riding with Klaus and Mimosa.

They slowly eased down before landing a few feet away from the campsite and quickly hiding behind a few bushes. They watched as the men seemed to be standing around the fire, talking and eating, the perfect time to strike.

“ So what’s the plan?” Mimosa whispered as she turned toward the others, Neva smirked. ‘I can handle this easily!’ She thought as she went to stand up but suddenly she felt a rush of air fly past her and when she looked over she noticed Yuno was gone.

“ Where’d he go?” Klaus asked in a hurried whisper before Mimosa pointed toward the bandits camp and all three of their eyes widened at the sight.

Yuno was currently standing in the middle of the campsite, a vortex of wind swirling around him. He was currently trying to fight all the bandits at once! Neva gritted her teeth and quickly ran out from behind the bushes, with Klaus and Mimosa following.

“ Diamond creation magic: Diamond Shower!” She shouted as she pulled out her grimoire. Shards of diamonds began to rain from the sky and were aimed precisely at the bandits, although she wasn’t aiming to hurt them, she at least wanted to knock them out or immobilize them. She smirked as she was able to pin one to a tree and another to the ground, she quickly turned as she felt warmth near her side.

“ Flame magic: Dragon’s breath!” She heard a flame mage shout, luckily she was able to feel the warmth before she even heard him shout, she quickly dodged the spiral of flame and when she turned toward him she quickly made a hammer out of diamond.

“ Diamond magic: Diamond Hammer!” She quickly swung the mallet before the flame mage could even blink, hitting him square in the stomach, she heard him make an ‘oof’ sound before he went flying into a tree and was knocked out cold. Neva looked around and noticed the others had taken care of the rest of the bandits, Klaus had chained a few to a tree, and Yuno had either knocked them out cold or immobilized them with his wind magic. Mimosa stood by with a big smile on her face.

“ Good work team!” She cheered as she clapped her hands together, Klaus let out a sigh as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

“ It would’ve been better if one of us hadn’t rushed in without discussing a plan first.” He said as he glared slightly at Yuno, who only stared back.

“ It would’ve taken too long. They were right there and it was the perfect time to strike, they were distracted, had their guards down, there wasn’t a better opportunity.” Yuno told him bluntly, causing Klaus to glare further as Neva and Mimosa watched them.

“ M-Maybe so! But we still should have discussed it as a team!” Klaus argued as Yuno began to walk away. “ Don’t walk away from me! We’re not done here!” He shouted after him and Yuno just continued walking.

“ Oh I like him.” Neva said with a smirk as she followed Yuno, Mimosa shrugged at Klaus and also walked away.

“ Are you all going to at least help me with the bandits?!”

————-

After loading the bandits up, the small team carried them back to the capital and dropped them off at the prison before heading back to their headquarters. As they were flying back Neva couldn’t stop herself from watching Yuno; she had honestly thought the rumors about him were just that, rumors. She had no idea they would actually be true, but even she could feel how strong his mana was back in the woods, how powerful he was. It was like he was blessed by it or something, and in all honesty, it made Neva a little jealous. But the more she thought about it, the more she got a wicked little thought in her head.

‘I wonder,’ She smirked at the thought. ‘If I could convince him to help me become Captain.’ Yuno must’ve noticed her eyes on him because he turned to look at her. She jumped slightly and quickly turned away, missing the suspicious look in his eyes.

After the four of them had made it back to the Golden Dawn headquarters they began walking toward the dining hall for dinner when Neva cleared her throat.

“ Hey Yuno, do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something.” Neva asked, Yuno blinked in confusion.

“ Uh, sure? I guess.” He said before Mimosa and Klaus continued walking toward the hall, saying they’d save the two of them a seat. “ What’s up?” He asked after they had gone inside. Neva sat on the short courtyard wall and looked at him.

“ I just wanted to say that I underestimated you. When I first heard the rumors about you, I’ll admit I was skeptical, especially when you said you had wind magic.” Neva started as she crossed one leg over the other. “ But I was pleasantly surprised, so I apologize for my earlier doubts.” He shrugged.

“ It’s fine. You’re not the first person to underestimate me.” He told her as he placed one hand on his hip before turning to look at her. “ Although, I doubt that's the only reason you called me out here.” Neva almost laughed at how perceptive he was, ‘No wonder my father always told me to never judge a commoner. Sometimes, they’re smarter than they want you to think.’.

“ You’re right, there is something else I wanted to ask you,” she started before looking down at her shoes. “ What’s your goal?” She asked, he looked slightly taken aback by her question but he quickly recovered.

“ To become the Wizard King.” Yuno told her, she could hear the slightest amount of passion in his voice. She looked back up at him with a small smirk on her face.

“ I can help you reach that goal, but I have one condition.” Neva told him, and instantly he frowned at her. “ You see, I have a goal myself; to become Captain of the Golden Dawn someday and I believe we can help each other.” His eyes narrowed skeptically.

“ I can try and get us the more serious missions, the ones that will help us rise up the ranks and if I’m being 100% honest, you’ll rise up the ranks faster than I will. So all I ask is that when you rise up to the rank of Captain, because you will eventually, that you make me your Vice Captain and when you become the wizard king, that you make me the Captain of the Golden Dawn.” She proposed, and instantly his face went blank. Neva hated it when she couldn’t read people's faces, it made her nervous.

“ Sounds like you need me more than I need you.” He told her after a minute and it shocked her so much she nearly fell off the wall. ‘My proposal was excellent! Wasn’t it?’ She thought in disbelief, she quickly pulled herself back up the wall and glared.

“ T-That’s not it-.” She started but he cut her off.

“ Yes it is. You said it yourself; I will eventually rise up the ranks, all the way to Captain in your opinion, so why would I need your help if you believe I’ll do it even without it?” Yuno questioned, Neva looked down at the ground. He had a good point. She basically gave him every reason not to agree to her deal, ‘Wow, I really suck at this.’ She thought with a small huff before hearing Yuno sigh.

“ Do you know why you suck at trying to manipulate people?” He asked her. “ It’s because you’re not a manipulative person, I’ve only known you for a few hours but even I can see that. You don’t need my help, or anyone’s for that matter, to make it to Captain.” He added with a small shrug, Neva’s face turned a slight shade of pink as she looked up at him.

“ Heh. It’s funny, I’m sure at least a majority of this squad would disagree with you on all those points.” She muttered and she saw him roll his eyes.

“ Then let them, what does it matter what they think?” He asked her. “ Come on, let’s go get dinner.” He added as he began walking toward the dining hall door, Neva stood up and followed after him before suddenly remembering.

“ You go ahead and eat, I have to go report to the Captain.” She told him before walking past him, Yuno nodded at her before opening the dining hall door and walking inside.

————

Neva made her way to Vangeance’s office, a small smile on her face. Even though she completely failed at trying to get Yuno to help her, it felt really good having someone to talk to, someone other than the Captain anyway. She came upon his door and began to knock but she stopped herself; it sounded like he had company. She couldn’t make out the other voice as it was a hushed whisper, but she knew it wasn’t her Captain’s voice. She placed her ear against the door to see if she could hear any bits of the conversation, but they were just being too quiet. It sounded urgent if the tones of their voices signaled anything. Neva heard his boots approach the door and she quickly pulled away and held her hand up, as though she were just about to knock on his door. When Vangeance pulled it open to see Neva on the other side he was very surprised.

“ Neva, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. I take it the mission went well?” He asked her, his voice calmer than what she had heard a moment ago. Neva couldn’t stop the frown from appearing on her face as she tried to look around him to see inside his office.

“ Uh, yeah it went fine. Is there someone in your office?” She asked turning to look at him, a small smile appeared on his face as he tilted his head.

“ No why? Is something wrong?” He asked her his voice, sounding a little confused, she blushed slightly and scratched the back of her head nervously.

“ N-No nothing wrong, I just thought…” Neva trailed off nervously, Vangeance chuckled a bit before patting the top of her head.

“ Its ok, you’re probably just tired. Go get some dinner and then try to get some rest. You’ve earned it today.” He said as began to walk away. “ Oh by the way, I’ll be gone for a while, I was called away on urgent business. So if you need anything, you’ll have to try and get a hold of Langris. Goodnight Neva.” He added as he continued walking away. She turned to look into his office and her eyes widened.

It was completely empty. It had only been him inside the office, Neva quickly turned to look at her Captains retreating form. She had never known him to be the type to talk to himself and it would be even more odd if he used a different voice when doing so. Neva’s face immediately became concerned.

Something was wrong with her Captain.

————

I’m sorry it’s not very good 😔. I’m thinking about skipping ahead a little bit or maybe trying to talk to some of my mutual writers because I’m really stuck on what I should write next since I’m trying really hard not to directly copy canon events. But anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this I apologize if you didn’t and I will try better next time. Have a good day everyone 💞~!

[hold-me-sickfics]

Alright y’all, I’m proud to introduce you to some of my new OCs! There are more coming, but these are the first😊💖💜 I want to thank @thatoneemokpop-02 and @bt20-whump for proofreading and inspiration. You two are awesome 💜💖💙 so... here goes 😊

TW: food, strip club mention, alcohol, emeto, tiny heartbreak, lots of fluffy cuteness (I think that’s all but if you see any I missed please let me know and I will fix them!)

“Parker, what is the point of coming to the library if you are not going to study?” Cody only looked up from his laptop for a moment before refocusing on his screen.

“I’m trying to help my poor, clueless friend find a date to the smart people formal.” Parker was spinning his fidget spinner at speeds unheard of by mankind.

Cody rolled his eyes, stealing just one more glance to his left.

Parker noticed.

“Dude, why will you not just go talk to her?” Parker could definitely have been heard from across the room.

“Talk to who? I wasn’t looking at anyone.” Cody blushed, his cheeks involuntarily rising in a smile to meet the rims of his glasses.

“Sure. So you were totally not just checking Brooklyn out. Of course not, so you won’t mind if I just go on over there and-”

“Wait! Wait.”

Parker smirked.

“Maybe I was. It’s not important.”

“Are you kidding? Look when you meet the chick that makes you… well… I won’t say it for your sake but if Maverick was here I would. Anyways, that means you gotta shoot your shot. It’s like basketball.”

“Parker I hate sports. We’ve been over this.”

“All because one frisbee hit your glasses yeah yeah…” Parker looked over at Brooklyn. She looked like Cody’s type. He had to get Cody to at least attempt it.

“What if you ask for her snap?”

“I’m not doing that.” Cody shut his laptop. “And another thing. It looks sleazy to just walk up to a girl and ask for her snap okay? You really should try a new method.”

Parker had his idea.

“Oh… you know what? You’re right. What should I do instead?”

“I don’t know, maybe… talk to her? Like at least get on some sort of “friend” level before you ask. It just looks better.”

“Uh huh…” Parker was getting ready to help Cody in a slightly less than orthodox way. “So to talk to her, you’d need a reason right?”

Cody looked over at her, hoping she wouldn’t catch him.

“Yeah… some sort of reason I guess.”

“Okay, don’t kill me.”

Parker got up, and started to walk over to Brooklyn’s table. She was there alone, seemingly very involved in her studies.

“Pardon me ma’am. My name’s Parker, and I was wondering if you like pineapple on pizza?”

Brooklyn blushed.

“I don’t exactly think it’s my thing… although pepperoni is pretty good.” She smiled.

“Awesome. So now that I’ve been established as the crazy person you have in common, Cody?” Parker called back to his previous seat. Cody had his face hidden in a book. He peeked out, throwing the book aside and doing his best to act “chill” as Parker had called it.

“Hi Brooklyn, I apologize for this… i don’t really know what to call him actually. I’m Cody. The-” he partially glared at Parker “more sane one.”

“It’s nice to meet you Cody, and Parker.” She bit her lip, and Cody felt his entire body go stiff. Parker could tell he had to save the day once again.

“So, you’re a hot girl. Have a date to the smart people dinner thing yet?”

“You mean the Academic Formal?”

“Yeah, love the bigger words. They really suit ya.”

“Let me just- one second.” Cody practically pulled Parker over to the side.

“You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m good at it, thank you.” Parker winked, and then went back to Brooklyn.

“Here’s the thing, my main man Cody here doesn’t have a date yet, and I thought you two would make a really cute couple so here’s his snap.”

Cody felt dizzy. Had Parker really just done that? This was the last time he was ever disclosing feelings to him. Actually, come to think of it, this is not the first time he’s said that.

Parker laid on his classic *Dean Winchester* smile, and then came back over to Cody.

“I’m literally planning your demise as we speak.”

------ time skip to 5:00 pm, in Parker’s dorm room------

“Ah I did good today. I found love for the little guy. I’m proud of myself and that means-”

“Do not touch the ice cream Parker I swear I will hurt you.”

Parker jumped.

“Maverick you aren’t supposed to be home yet!”

“And you aren’t supposed to touch my ice cream. So, even.” Maverick took the container away from Parker.

“Now, you wanna explain to me why Cody is trying to recruit me to kill you?”

“Not really.”

“Should I have him explain it?”

“Probably not… how about you just eat your ice cream hm? That would end well for all of us.”

Maverick rolled his eyes. He knew Parker must have really done something bad this time.

*buzz* *buzz*

Parker’s phone went off.

5:23 pm Cody: “ Why did you have to butt in?”

5:24 pm Parker: “ Because you couldn’t do it yourself.”

5:26 pm Cody: “Yeah and if you hadn’t done it, I could still be admiring her from afar and just getting silently and unrightfully irritated when she found another date.”

5:34 pm Parker: “Andddddd where’s the fun in that?”

5:37 pm Cody: “THE FACT THAT IT IS SAFE YOU NIMROD!”

5:43 pm Parker: “It’s still funny that you won’t cuss.”

5:45 pm Cody: “She just snapped me! What do I do? Parker I am scared.” “Parker?” “Parker!”

6:00 pm Parker: “Sorry, Maverick let me have ice cream and I forgot to text back.”

6:02 pm Cody: “ *facepalm* you are no help.”

6:15 pm Parker: “Well, what did it say?”

6:17 pm Cody: “I’m scared to look.”

6:18 pm Parker: “Dude, I’ll tell you what it says. Ready?” “ Hi”

6:20 pm Cody: “SHE WROTE BACK “HI” WHAT DO I SAY???????”

6:21 pm Parker: “You’re sure they invited you to the smart people thing right? Like it wasn’t a mix up?”

6:22 pm Cody: “Parker yes they invited me. I’m so dang smart that I have no idea how to… “my people skills are rusty.””

6:24 pm Parker: “Dude if you don’t stop with the references I am going to send you to a psych ward.”

6:25 pm Cody: “Noted. Okay, I am going to respond.”

6:30 pm Parker: “Good now text me when you have an actual conversation rolling aight?”

Parker put his phone in his pocket and went back to his ice cream cone. At 7:00, he got another text.

7:00 pm Cody: “She… um… she told me she’s going with someone else.”

Now Parker felt bad. The poor kid got rejected, and unlike himself, who bounces back and just moves on, he knew Cody had a tendency to get attached. Ah well, no use crying over spilled milk.

7:01 pm Parker: “Who?”

7:03 pm Cody: “It doesn’t matter. I’m glad she found someone she wants to go with. Well, I’m gonna go on to sleep so I can study some more tomorrow. Night Park.”

7:04 pm Parker: “Sorry dude. Night Cody.”

Now he felt really really bad. He thought for a bit, and then, an idea hit him.

7:23 pm Parker: “I am on my way. Do not do anything stupid like buying more books. You cannot keep any more in your room. There is officially no more space.”

Parker was going to do the one thing he knew cured heartbreak. They were both 21…

When Parker got there, he found Cody halfway through a bag of popcorn watching a romcom.

“Dude… I get that you’re sad but this is just straight tragic.”

Cody sniffled, holding the blanket up to his nose.

“Shush this is all I have now.”

“Nope, not gonna happen. Come on.” Parker picked Cody up and placed him on his feet.

“Why can you not let me cry in peace?”

“Because it’s not how I roll. Now, we’re getting you dressed, and then we’re going to a strip club.”

“But.. but I don’t-”

“Trust me, you’ll get the hang of it.”

Parker had considered inviting Maverick, but he was kinda the rule-stickler type. His grandparents had raised him to be pretty straight-laced.

---- time skip to driving to the club-----

“I really think this is a bad idea.” Cody looked down at his navy button-up and his black pants and dress shoes.

“You’ll be fine. Look, I’ve done this hundreds of times.”

“Hundreds??”

“Eh, okay maybe tens, but same thing.”

They pulled into the parking lot, and the one thing that went through Cody’s mind is that this was not going to end well.

----- time skip to 3:28 am-----

“Wowwww she was-s right in ma face! Did you see?”

“Yes I saw.” Cody pulled his friend up from the floor of the club.

“Ohh no! Iss time to go ba-back now?”

“It is. Maverick is probably worried about you.”

“Pshhhhhhhh nahhhhh… m’ fin”

“You’re fine?”

“Yeash I’m fineeeeee”

“And here I was thinking I was a lightweight. Alright, out we go.”

“BYE BRITTNEEEEEEEEEE!” Parker’s head lolled to the side as he let Cody handle most of his body weight.

They stumbled to the car, somehow making it in a decent amount of time. Cody opened the passenger side door, and helped Parker slide in.

“Thank you *burp* you’re my bestesetest of frans. I luv you mann.”

Even Cody had to laugh.

“I love you too. Now, in the car. We’re putting your seatbelt on.”

“NO! NO I WON’T BE TAKEN AGAIN! I CAN’T GO BACK *hiccup*”

“Tell it to the judge bub.”

Parker heard the seatbelt click into place and immediately started bawling.

“I *hiccup* am s-so sorry-yee. I did not mean to *hiccup* tell the *hiccup* panda to go *hiccup* f-”

“Okay that’s enough bud. Sleep. We’re headed home.”

“I c-can’t f-feel my eyeballs *hiccup*”

“You aren’t supposed to feel them. They’re just there.”

“BUT HOW DO I KNOW THEY ARE NOT STOLEN????”

Cody took a deep breath and looked down at the clock in the dashboard. They’d be home in ten minutes, maybe less if Parker didn’t stop blubbering. He’d already called Maverick, who had assured Cody he would take care of their drunk friend, but Cody had decided maybe it would be nice to take care of Parker instead of being on his own tonight. Despite everything that happened that night, he still wanted some company.

“Oh jolly good young fellow wherefore art the d- oh! Look at the grass! It’s so green!”

“It’s brown bub. It’s winter.” Cody smiled, pulling into the parking place that he’d been assigned.

Cody smiled, pulling into the parking place that he’d been assigned.

“Welp… I’m bout to turn it *hiccup* green…”

Cody looked over to see Parker’s cheeks puffed out and his chest rolling forward in a heave.

“Hang on! Hang on-” He jumped out of the car and opened the door on Parker’s side. It was just in time. Pure alcohol mixed with some sort of greenish jello shot coated the ground. It splattered onto Cody’s pants, but he didn’t care.

“There ya go. You’re doing great.” He awkwardly rubbed Parker’s back as the boy gagged again, turning to face the grass below once more.

“M’ overdid *gag* it…” Parker started to cry from the exertion.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about that now. Cody’s gotcha.”

Another bout of liquid spattered on the ground, some of it dripping down Parker’s chin. Cody had some napkins put away in the glove compartment, so he reached in and grabbed a couple.

“I *hiccup* unhghh…”

“You done Park?”

“Yeah…”

As if his body were trying to prove that it would not be controlled, he heaved up another round of clear, bubbly liquid.

“M’ done now.”

“Okay, up we go.” Cody wiped Parker’s mouth before slowly helping him up. His friend looked so pitiful, his hair so tousled and sweaty, his skin so pale… he hated to see him feeling so bad, but he had done it to himself.

“Alright, now… we’re going upstairs to my dorm room. If you need to puke, here’s a bag. Tell me to stop walking if we need to.”

Cody knew that was too much information, but it was worth a shot.

By some miracle, they made it to Cody’s room. Cody scanned his entry card, and then helped Parker onto the bed.

He sat next to him, rubbing his arm. Parker was curled up in a tiny half-asleep ball.

*buzz-buzz*

4:35 am Maverick: “Hey, you guys okay? How much did he drink?”

4:37 am Cody: “More than he should have… hey listen um… I was wondering… do you happen to know who’s going to the dinner with Brooklyn? She told me she was going with someone but didn’t say who.”

4:46 am Maverick: “You’re gonna flip out if I tell you.”

As much as that text intrigued him, Parker had partially woken up and had just puked all over himself and the bed.

Cody put his phone on the bedside table and then held Parker up so he wouldn’t choke if he puked again. Which, he did.

“Hnnngh… I feel like s***.”

“I know. You look like crap too.”

“Hhuuurrrrrrrkkk!” A thick, sludgy liquid came up.. It was sort of white and yellow… oh wait. Yeah, Cody would never look at french fries the same after tonight.

“That’s it. Get it up. I’ll fix the bed later.” Cody knew he couldn’t move him yet, so it was just best to get everything out.

After a few more empty, dry retches, Parker was finally done for the moment. Cody made the decision to take him to the bathroom and let him sit next to the toilet while he got some of his extra clothes to put on him.

He heard loud retching, almost obnoxious, from the bathroom. He just took a breath and went on looking for the clothes, knowing that more than likely Parker wouldn’t be done for a while, and probably didn’t register that he was there anyways.

“C-Cody?” A weak whimper filled the silence. Cody was shocked, but immediately grabbed a pair of boxers (which admittedly he felt weird about), pajama pants and a t-shirt, and then went to the bathroom.

He found Cody in a puddle of puke, tears streaming down his face.

“Don feel *hiccup* good…”

Cody felt his heart break.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t feel good. I promise it’ll be over soon.” He had to lie. The poor thing in this confused, overly dazed state couldn’t take the truth that he’d more than likely be puking for the next two days after how much he drank.

Cody got down next to Parker, putting a hand on Parker’s back. His shirt was damp with sweat and vomit. Cody rubbed up and down on his side, watching as Parker curled himself around the toilet.

“You’re gonna be okay Park.”

“S-sorry…” For a moment, Parker almost sounded sober…

“It’s alright, I can clean it up. You’re good.”

“No… the *hiccup* chick…”

Cody had been trying to forget about that.

“It’s not a big deal, really.”

“If I didn’t feel *hiccup* like I was gonna *hiccup* throw my guts up *hiccup* I’d have tried harder…” Parker turned his head back toward the water and puked up a thick stream of alcohol and whatever other fried foods he’d gotten into.

Cody felt bad. He knew Parker had tried, but he felt worse that Parker was sitting here puking and still thinking about that. He was sick. He didn’t need to be worried about that.

“Let’s um… talk about it when you’re sober hm?” Cody smiled sheepishly.

Parker nodded, his mouth opening slightly before gagging again.

“I’m gonna go get the bed ready. Can you stay here for a bit?”

“Mhmmm…” Parker spit a stringy line of saliva into the toilet.

Cody went out, and took the bedspread and pillowcases off. He tried to get as much of the puke off as he could, but hopefully the washing machine could do most of the work. He didn’t have another comforter, so he had to find his best throw blanket and go with that.

He finished making the bed, and then went back to the bathroom.

“Park?”

The boy was asleep on the toilet seat. Cody could feel his heartstrings being pulled one by one. He wet a washcloth and then sat down next to Parker, leaning him back slowly onto his shoulder. Cody then softly wiped his face, noting how sick he looked. Usually Parker was all crazy plans and bold ideas and loud things. It was far different to see him this way. So quiet, weak, and… helpless really.

He continued to clean Parker up, and then got him into fresh clothes. Then he helped him to the bed, and laid him down. This time, he’d put a bucket next to him. Not that it would really make much difference since Parker was probably too drunk to notice it. He pulled the blanket up to Parker’s shoulders, and then went back to the bathroom, cleaning up the rest of the mess.

When he finished, he went back to the couch and fell asleep. He knew he’d need the rest for Parker’s hangover the next morning. Thank goodness today was a Friday so they wouldn’t have school tomorrow.

(Part 2 coming soon!)

[singingrass-archive]

Remember that time I had to put to writing some of Job’s memorable life events in the second-person for a thread? Well, after having initially posted those, I ended up scrapping one of the memories and posting another and I figured that was worthwhile enough to make a new post for. So. Below the cut are four memorable events of Job’s life as he experienced them. Enjoy --- and when I say enjoy, what I really mean is, good luck with the heartbreak.

You’re crying as your mother drags you out of the room. Behind you, your father is holding a pillow over your brother’s face. Well, he’s holding a pillow over what used to be your brother. He died the other day. After what you’ve done to him, no one is really sure what he is anymore. He scared you, that empty stare in his eyes, drool collecting at the bottom of his mouth and dripping over his lip and onto his chest — but Pa’s taking care of it. It gone be alright, he whispers to the thing lying on the bed repeatedly in a fractured voice. You don’t hear it struggle.       Your mother doesn’t say anything. Her grip on your arm is crushing your bones and you’re begging her to stop, or you try, though you can barely speak through the tears. “Ma, pl-plea— please — I’m sorry, I didn-n’t m-mean to — I thought — I th-thought I could-d fix it — I’m sorry, Ma! I’m s-so sor-ry! Please!”       She pays you no mind. Your sisters and brother (the living one — the one you didn’t turn into a monster) watch you from the common room, but say nothing. They are too small to find the words. They are as clueless as you are.       Ma drags you out the front door. It’s January and snowing so heavily you can’t even see the Rockies; the warmest items of clothing on your skinny little body are your sweater and house shoes. You stumble through the snow, begging your mother to let you go. You don’t tell her she’s hurting you, though. You deserve it after what you’ve done to Gene.       She drags you out the front gate and onto the side of the road — then, finally, she lets go of your arm. Apologizing still, you step closer, reach out to her — but she slaps you so hard it knocks the tears out of your eyes.       “You…” her voice is shaking too, just like Pa’s — but not with grief but, rather, with rage. “You’re evil. You’re an evil child.” You stand there, mute and dumbstruck, your face burning and that slap still ringing in your ears. “Go away. You ruined him. Wh— whatever you are, you ain’t my son! You don’t belong here! Get the fuck away from here and don’t ever come back!”

---------------------

He’s sitting beside you in that same diner you always meet in. Well, ‘meet’ might not quite be the right word — it isn’t exactly up to you, it isn’t like you want to meet him — but you’re always sitting in that same diner when he finds you in your dreams. Outside, it’s pitch black — you can’t even see the sidewalk. Maybe there isn’t a sidewalk. Maybe the diner exists in a void. It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s a dream — but that doesn’t make you any less terrified.       He’s in his early thirties. Blond hair, blue eyes; white collar and black cloth. His smile is so incredibly disarming. You thought he were your friend at first — but boy, do you know better now. You’re sixteen; it’s been three years since you moved in with your Great Aunt Patience. Somehow, he knows this. Perhaps he’s been watching your dreams. You dream about Gene and your parents quite often.       You are sitting beside one another at the counter. He’s smiling at you. You’re petrified, and you are too young and thick not to let it show. “No,” you tell him, barely knowing your own voice, it is so tinged in fear.       “Oh, you dumb boy,” he tells you, his smile growing ever-wider, “yes.”       The large window behind your backs crashes in a shock of shattered glass. On instinct, you hunch forward, your arms wrapping over your head.       Then, you wake up in bed. Your heart beats wildly, your breath labored, your frame (even scrawnier with the added, impossible height) covered in goosebumps and cold sweat. Thank the Lord, you’re safe.       You hear something go bump in the night       “… Patty?” You call out to your aunt. There comes no answer, just the barely-there sound of rustling cloth. You swallow, push your hair, damp with sweat, out of your face, and slip your feet out from under the covers and off the mattress. The old floorboards creak and cry under your weight. Then, they cry some more just beside your bedroom door. You can feel yourself shrink, shoulders hunched forward and arms around your middle, as you carefully step towards the door. You call out, louder this time, “aunt Patience?”      Oh, you dumb boy. Yes.      The voice seems to come from nowhere at all and everywhere at once — there is enough moonlight filtering through the open window for you to know there is absolutely no one in the room other than yourself. You don’t even have the time to turn around before you feel something hot and sharp cut into your back, right between your shoulder-blades. The pain is blinding. You fall to the floor in a miserable thud. You think you can hear someone screaming. Maybe it’s you.       Patty is a thick-set woman and you can hear her clumsy, heavy steps as they near your room. “Job?”       A new jolt of pain shoots through your body when he cuts you again with his claws. Your screams sound like those of a dying animal. It occurs to you that you should run — crawl if you have to — but you’re too paralyzed with pain and fear to move. You hear the door open with urgency. You know Patty turned the lights on because they shine red through your squeezed-shut eyelids.       … and just like that, it’s over. Boucher is no longer in the room — somehow, you know this. You do not need to make sure, just like he always knows to find you in your dreams.

---------------------

“— you did what?”       “Yit’s for your own good. You haff to trust me —”       You can’t help but make a dismissive little huff at that. It really isn’t like you to be so bitter and petty - but in this very moment, you feel so utterly betrayed that you can’t help yourself. You’re quite sure you’ve never felt this way before. “For my own good? You calling fuckin’ funny farm on me is for my own good?”       “Job. You were sitting here telling me how you talk to god. How there is some man you haven’t ever met chasing you. How you can take life from things —”       “— and give them to others.”       Nadja pauses and looks at you with those big honey eyes of hers with a look that tells you, ex-fucking-actly, you maniac. You knew just how fucking loony you sounded when you told her — but you figured she loves you enough to believe you or, if not that, then to accept it’s what you think to be real, in the least. You didn’t expect her to call the white fucking coats on you. What the fuck. You’ve been living together for six months — fuck, you told this girl you were going to marry her — and the two of you are just eighteen. Your heart is in your pants. You feel sick. You’re not sure whether you’ve ever felt anger in your life before this. Is this what anger feels like?       “You haff to understand this from my eyes.” She tells you with her thick Ukrainian accent that always makes you laugh because it makes you think of Eugene Hutz in Everything Is Illuminated with his hilarious broken English. She knew this would be a mistake — you can tell by that look in her eyes, a mixture of regret and pity and, possibly, fear. She’s afraid of you. Of course she is, you’re fucking mad as far as she’s concerned. “You know yit’s not normal, right? Job, you know that. You haff to.“       “Yeah — I fuckin’ know, alright?” You snap at her. She takes half a step away from you. You’re hardly a threat, you reckon — but this is the first time she’s ever heard the soft-spoken, kindhearted boy she fell in love with raise his voice. “I know it sounds crazy, alright? So what? Crazy things ain’t never happened to anyone before? Jesus fuckin’ Christ on his fuckin’ throne.”       “Compose yourself.” She means calm down, but you don’t correct her. You know her well enough by now to know she gets her words mixed up sometimes. “What you tink is happening — the voices you’re hearing —”       You feel like you’ve been punched in the throat. “I ain’t hearin’ voices, Nadja.”       “— they will help you. You are not well, Job. This yisn’t normal. Greystone Park — they will know what to do.”       “Oh my Lord.” You stand there, holding your face in your hand for a long moment and try to find your calm. It’s not her fault. Of course she thinks you’re mad, none of this has ever made any sense, not even to you. She really believes she’s helping you. It’s only out of love.       But you can’t stay here — you can’t let them take you to the loony bin. You will be unable to move there, unable to run whenever you need to, and he will find you, and he will kill you. You know that for a fact.       So you turn your back to her and walk away, into the bedroom. You find you old knapsack at the bottom of the closet and begin stuffing it with your clothes.       “Job? Job, what are you doing?” She calls out to you, but hesitates a moment before following. “You can’t just leaf like this!”

---------------------

It’s July. You’re in upstate New York. Wine Country. It’s gorgeous up here; so nice that on occasions like this, when the weather certainly allows for it, you’d rather sleep outside even when you can afford a motel room. You’re somewhere near the Finger Lakes and everything is green; this local park in some tiny little town in the middle of fucking nowhere is one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. This is where you find God. Not specifically, not now, He doesn’t talk to you when you’re awake — but this is where you find His glory. In a windblown wheat field or on the ridge of a mountain — or here, in this park, in all of His creation.       There’s a little pond in the middle of the park; you go there in search of a bench to sleep on. It’s dusk; the skies are painted brilliant oranges and pinks. It’s your favorite time of day. Well, sunrise is, but this is close enough. It’s so beautiful out here you think you might cry, but you don’t. Pa used to say you were too soft. Ma used to say you were a sensitive boy. You haven’t changed; not in the softness department and not in the boyhood one, even if you are twenty four years old.       You step towards the little pond. Daffodils line its bank, their yellow mouths turned to the east, where the sun will rise tomorrow. You fold your knees before you and duck down to pick one when you notice something lying on the gravel. It’s a little bird, a Great Tit with its soft yellow belly, lying face-down in the shallows, wings spread unevenly, unmoving. It’s dead.       Poor, delicate little thing. You sink both palms of your hands into the water, even though the bird is so small you just need the one, and pick it up. It lies lifeless in your hands.       You think on it. What harm can it do — to help? It’s just this tiny little creature. Surely, it cannot cause too great a ripple. But the park is so beautiful, you do not want to ruin it, you do not want to suck the life out of God’s glory.       … what harm can it do to you? After all, it’s only little.       You take your one palm and place it over the bird, still cradling it in the other. You push it out of you — just a little surge of life. You can feel it now, pulling its wings close to its body and rolling around in the palm of your hand so that it’s standing. It’s near weightless. Its feet tickle your calloused skin.       Slowly, you stand up. You do not notice you’re feeling slightly off-balance. Your eyes gape in wonder and awe when you slowly peel your top palm off the little creature in your hand. It shakes water off of its feathers and you smile. It doesn’t look at you as it springs off your palm and flies away, towards the trees on the other side of the bank. You turn your head up to look at it, mouth hanging slightly agape.       You realize, then, you feel awfully sick. You turn around, bend down, and throw up.

[camelliasion]

all of them u bish

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?- yes there is2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?- sadly... yes3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”- pancake 4: what’s something you really want right now?- to be stress free and stuff5: are you afraid of falling in love?- yes6: do you like the beach?- yes7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?- if a couch folds out as a bed... does that count?8: what’s the background on your cell?- pics of me and my friends9: name the last four beds you were sat on?- mine, my sister's, the hotel room from after prom, and I think my mom's 10: do you like your phone?- fuck no it's the crustiest shit 11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?- NOT EVEN NEAR CLOSE12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?- I think my friend Jordan it was for sending homework 13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?- poodle!14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?- idk scoliosis and tendonitis is a pain in the ass and they don't go away but imma say emotional15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?- art museum16: are you tired?- tired of being livid 17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?- since I was born.18: are they a relative?- it's my twin. 19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?- what ex? But I have an ex fwb and I've considered going back but w the help of friends I've been doing a gr8 job avoiding him......???????? I think?20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?- he talked to me last night. apologized to me.21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?- nah22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?- absolutely23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?- I'm in bed bruh I take my bracelets off the f. Normally 5. 24: is there a certain quote you live by?- "Yo-Yo Ma died from scoliosis" - my dumb ass twin25: what’s on your mind?- why does my ex fwb constantly lead me on after telling me that I'm not good for his unstable emotions he has around females? why was he so jealous the night after prom? why did he lie about wanting to see me, and does this consistently? 26: do you have any tattoos?- I wish 27: what is your favorite color?- pastel purple 28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?- hopefully soon? 29: who are you texting?- Lucas Gabrielle 30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?- again, if the couch folds out as a bed... then yes?31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?- when do you not?32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?- Cullen, Myles, and Luke my main hawmies and the only people I can trust33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?- oh I KNOW..34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?- yes which was a strange time 35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?- it would be so much easier to get over him then... 36: were you single on valentines day?- forever will be!!!1!37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?- yes38: what do your friends call you?- my fwb calls me Q, Cullen calls me queef, Myles calls me koo, Nathan calls me "kuuuuu", and Luke calls me k-hue39: has anyone upset you in the last week?- YES MY SNAKE FRIENDS AND MY EX FWB40: have you ever cried over a text?- yes it was so stupid 41: where’s your last bruise located?- my knee42: what is it from?- dance 43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?- prom night 44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?- raw bean bundt cake45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?- my. nude. stilettos.46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?- depends on the outfit 47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?- noooo, but I should since my hair is dryer than California before elnino 48: do you make supper for your family?- nop49: does your bedroom have a door?- yes50: top 3 web-pages?- Twitter YouTube and Spotify even tho the fuckING ADS51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?- not that I'm aware of ..52: does anything on your body hurt?- my tendonitis, my scoliosis, my dance soreness from stretching, and my heart53: are goodbyes hard for you?- very54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?- it took me some time to think... literally beer55: how is your hair?- AWFUL. IT'S BLACK ROOTS AND PROGRESSES TO ORANGE AND THEN YELLOW AND THEN STREAKS OF PLATINUM BLONDE WHITE AND GRAY THEN PURPLE ON MY BANGS... SOMEHOW PLUS IT'S SO DRY AND FRIED IT'S WORSE THAN BURNT BACON56: what do you usually do first in the morning?- cri57: do you think two people can last forever?- yes58: think back to january 2007, were you single?- yes I've never had a bf tf59: green or purple grapes?- is there a difference?60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?- I don't give hugs. I receive them. 61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?- oh yeah I hate home 62: when will be the next time you text someone?- when they text me63: where will you be 5 hours from now?- who even knows 64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.- sitting in my music theory class suffering65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?- I've liked the same person for over a year 66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?- yes! Lucas Gabrielle!!! And ngl ex fwb too....67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?- YES ACTUALLY I HUGGED CULLEN BC BESS FRAN68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?- ofc... ex fwb... :D69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?- you mean all the auditions I've failed?  you mean every single audition I've ever done?70: how many windows are open on your computer?- normally 371: how many fingers do you have?- the72: what is your ringtone?- Pokemon trainer defeat theme but played by marimba 73: how old will you be in 5 months?- 1874: where is your mum right now?- in her room sleeping 75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?- because he doesn't love me and he's a "commitmentphobe"76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?- yes but it was a joke 77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?- two years ago was my sophomore year??? so no. :)78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?- as in 7th grade?????? uhhhh this kid name Michael who does crack now.79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?- Michael?80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?- no :(81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?- that's since January, so 2-4 I'm guessing????82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?- nop83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?- I'm not allowed.84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?- probably Cullen 85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?- yes 86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?- Luke was there watching Suicide Squad for the 6th time87: who was your last received call from?- my twin88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?- depends on my mood I guess 89: what is something you wish you had more of?- money and time90: have you ever trusted someone too much?- @ mitch91: do you sleep with your window open?- nop92: do you get along with girls?- HAHAHAHAHAH NO93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?- I'm keeping shit tons of secrets even my best friends don't know 94: does sex mean love?- NO BUT IT LEADS TO IT95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?- yes and no. yah see he's one horny mother fucker and I get him, but he's also an awful person...96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?- no97: did you sleep alone this week?- I always sleep alone 98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?- Lucas Gabrielle!!!!99: do you believe in love at first sight?- nop100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?- Cullen or Myles one of them