#so much bad stuff happened over the past 24 hours I'm just looking forward to an anvil falling on my head and killing me randomly

[procyo9]

i poke my head out of the gutter for one freakin second and fate shovels shit in my face!!!!!!!!!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to spend a night out with a guy?

I'm twenty, study in university and still live with my parents. I've been planning to move out since I was eighteen, but they told me to keep living at home and not get a job so I could focus on studying while they take care of me financially. This arrangement has worked mostly well in the past years save for a few small conflicts, but it's escalated in the past 3-4 months.

The issue is my time schedule. I have a very active social life, am active in the local art scene, do political work and a lot of extracurricular stuff for university (I'm a straight A student, I might add!). Because of this, and because I'm a natural night owl, I usually come home late several days a week (between 10pm and 2am) and stay out all day for most of the week. This means I can't do a lot of chores, and usually there's a lot of housework because my mum has a bit of a cleaning anxiety and wants to make sure everything is spotless 24/7.

Enter this guy, I'll call him Tim. I met him at a festival last summer and we became long distance friends. Tim has visited me for a day several times before, but this weekend he offered to come over for two days and we agreed to spend the night stargazing together without sleeping. I loved the idea and immediately said yes. It was gonna be just us, a couple energy drinks, and some bench in the city center, and I was really looking forward to it.

The thing is, my mum does not like Tim. Like, at all. She thinks he seems very sleazy and generally distrusts him because he feels "too nice" for her. Mind you, he's just a somewhat shady looking guy who is generally pretty anxious he might make a bad impression, so he overperforms the whole "respectable member of society" act a bit around new people. I've introduced him to my friend group and even the more sceptical people absolutely love him and think he's a very sweet, helpful person. In basically every stressful situation I've ever seen him in he's been deescalating, protective and helpful, and he has on several occasions been my first source of comfort when things went to hell.

Today I told my mum in an offhanded comment that I won't come home between Sunday and Monday and the situation escalated completely. She was crying, accusing me of ruining her month, saying I didn't care about this family, it got ugly. The main point she had was that I was staying out all night with someone who's a total stranger to her and she doesn't trust him at all. In the end we compromised that Tim and I would spend the night awake, but not in the city, at home.

I feel really humiliated by this whole situation and honestly, kind of betrayed, because I was promised stuff like this wouldn't happen, and it just hits in a much safer situation than ones I've been in before (I used to get blackout drunk and sleep at parties a lot.). I'm a legal adult, have been for years now and it's so disappointing that my parents still treat me like a child sometimes and are so judgy towards my friends too. At the same time, I'm wondering whether I've acted wrong too by not telling her about this earlier and not taking her concerns that seriously. I forget sometimes that I talk to Tim every day for hours, but my parents only briefly ran into him once, so of course their view of him is skewed.

PS: I should add that when I told him about this, he immediately apologized, asked if I needed anything or wanted to change the plan and decided to dig out the least offensive outfit he could find so he'd make a good impression on my parents. So he's definitely trying his best.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 19 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 1.8 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Keep You Warm

Smiling at Liam's little giggles, you keep hiding your face behind a pillow before pulling it away. The silly play has Liam laughing for minutes now, lying on his belly, holding his head up. You and Keanu are on your bed, with the baby in between the two of you.

“Where's the baby?” You ask, pillow covering your face. “There he is!” Pushing it away, you let him see your face again, and another giggle warms your heart. Liam is always happier when you and Keanu are together.

He turns his head away, to Keanu, before laying his head down. “He's tired.”

“God, I am tired.” Whining a little, you turn to lay on your back, looking at the ceiling. “I didn't get any sleep tonight.”

“Why?”

“Thinking a lot.” You decide to tell him, and you're sure it's quite obvious what you've been thinking about.

“You need to rest, beautiful.” Reaching out his hand, Keanu touches your cheek, and you don't push him away anymore. Or flinch. Or feel uncomfortable. You're slowly growing closer again, and it's happening through the last few weeks.

“I know but now...” Pushing yourself up, you sigh. “Laura wants to go shopping so I must accompany her.” Despite having no trouble looking after Liam 24/7, Keanu is still working less than usual, always from home, making sure you have time for yourself. “Will you be alright with Liam?”

“Sure. Go and buy something nice for you.”

“I don't need anything, Ke.” Getting off the bed, you blow Liam a kiss when he turns to look at you. “I'm still using your credit card so I'll only buy stuff I need.” Your job is still secure, thanks to your very awkward relationship with Keanu Reeves, but your doctors still haven't allowed you to go back. The headaches still happen, and some migraines have you basically knocked down in bed all day, in the dark, hoping it'll pass soon. So for now, Keanu is paying for everything you need.

“I'm telling you to buy something. See it as a gift.”

You can't help but smile as you make your way to the bathroom. “I won't spend your money for no reason.”

“And that's why I enjoy going to the mall with you.” He complains, and you can feel the eye roll. You know what he means. Keanu always manages to convince you to buy anything he sees you admiring for too long.

“I'll buy ice cream, maybe. Or a burger. God, it's been so long since I ate fast food.” The diet is still being followed, but today you'll drop it for a few hours.

“Don't go too crazy.” He warns as you peek your head into the bedroom, toothbrush in hand. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle. Keanu won't let you do anything the doctors say would be bad. He's still quite overprotective, and you find it very cute... But there's no way you'll let him know that.

Half an hour later you're off, kissing Liam's cheek and waving at Keanu as you get inside the cab. Hanging out with Laura, when she's shopping specifically, takes hours. So you not only get the ice cream and the burger, but you also have dinner at a restaurant at the mall.

You get back home too late, after ten, so you shower and feed Liam before rocking him to sleep. He's already sleeping in his bedroom and the only bad part is that you have to walk all the way there when he wakes up during the night. But other than that, he's adapting pretty well. After making sure he's on deep sleep, you leave him, carrying the baby monitor with you downstairs where you watch some TV. Laura said something that had you thinking.

She and Keanu have developed a friendship thanks to you, and whenever he doesn't know what to do when you're involved, he calls Laura. And she said he called her someday last week, asking if he was moving too slow or too fast with you. You don't think it's fast at all, he pretty much fell into the same thing he did when you first got here. Allowing you to set the pace, never pushing it, always putting you first.

You find it sweet that he calls her for help, since Laura knows you very well, from before and after the accident. She always tells you though, when he calls and tries her best to put you both on the right path. The one that leads to what you had before. Being together, only this time it would be real.

Taking a deep breath, you can't take the cold anymore, so you turn the TV off and head upstairs, tiptoeing. Rubbing both your arms, you shiver as you walk through the hell. A sudden clicking noise startles you, and your eyes immediately move to Keanu's bedroom, finding him by the door. “Hey.”

“Is everything alright?” Always worried.

“Yes. I was watching TV.” Shyly, you make your way over him, standing before the man. You'll never get used to how tall he is, and you can never ignore how much you like being so smaller compared to him. “But it's really cold.” You manage to say, nervously giggling because you shouldn't think these things. Not anymore. And not until whatever this is, gets a name. “Look.” In a quick motion, meaning to annoy him a little, you sneak both your hands under his shirt, touching his abdomen. Keanu flinches a little, a low chuckle leaving his lips.

But then you realize what you just did, how you have your hands against his body. Blushing and looking down, you clear your throat. “Sorry.” You whisper, starting to take your hands off Keanu when he grabs both your wrists, forcing you to stop.

“Wait until your hands are warm.” His voice is so low you have to pay attention to bring sense to his words.

You really shouldn't... But you can feel the heat irradiating from his skin, and you're so damn close it feels like you're a magnet, being pulled towards him.

And so you move, stepping forward, hands sliding from his abdomen all the way to his back, your fingertips taking in the sensation of touching his skin again. Then you're hugging him, head on his chest as his strong arms hold you close, tightly against his body as if he's scared you could run away at any moment.

You should, but you won't. Being this close to Keanu is inebriating, like an addiction, and you've been self-restraining for far too long. You need his touch, his body. Him.

Eyes closed, you stand on your toes, moving so your face is close to his. When his lips brush on yours, it feels like fireworks start exploding on your stomach, and you know you won't be able to step back now. And when he softly starts pulling you inside, you have no choice but to follow him.

But when he moves away a little, to close the door, you snap, falling back to reality. “I can't, Ke... I can't.” You mutter, holding his arm as he comes to stand before you again. “I thought we were married back then, and we're not so... I just can't until...” Until what? Would Keanu make it real? A real marriage, give you his surname. So you'd be truly his, and he'd be yours?

“We don't have to.” He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. “Just stay here. Let me keep you warm.”

His voice has power over you, so you nod, letting him guide you to the bed, where you climb on after putting the baby monitor on the nightstand. But your eyes are searching for his lips in the dark, longing to at least look at them, as the memories of the many kisses come back, from the first, next to his new bike, to the very last, in Liam's birth.

“Ke...” You whisper, pleading.

“What?” He remains seated, as you sit on your legs, the darkness hiding your heated cheeks.

“Kiss me.” You beg, feeling some tears filling your eyes. You love Keanu, and it hurts to keep this distance. “Like before. Just... Just kiss me as if none of this mess ever happened. As if we belong to each other.”

Keanu doesn't wait for you to say anything else, he just moves, big hands delicately pulling your legs until they're laying over his. Then, his lips come crashing down on yours, and by the fast pace, the need and heat, you can tell he was suffering too, longing for this moment.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you part your lips a little more, allowing him to deepen the kiss. You forgot how amazing he tastes, and you know now that you won't be able to go through long periods without kissing him. It's like a matter of life and death. Like a bare necessity.

When you pull away to breathe, Keanu lies down and you do the same, facing each other. His arms don't let you go, keeping you as close as possible. “We do belong to each other.” He says, softly rubbing the small of your back. “At least I do, (Y/N), you have my whole heart, it's yours.”

“I love you, Ke. You know I do and everything I want is to leave the past behind. I forgive you.” Grabbing a fist full of the soft fabric of his shirt, you feel some tears rolling down. “I forgive you.”

“Be my wife, (Y/N).” He bursts out, and it makes you look into his eyes. “I love you, (Y/N). I want what we had to be real.”

“Yes.” You mutter, more tears rolling down. “I want to be your wife, Ke.” Kissing him again, you only stop when Liam's soft cries reach your ears.

“Someone's hungry,” Keanu says, already getting off the bed. “I'll bring him here.”

“Alright.” Moving into a seated position, you smile to yourself.

This isn't how you thought the night would end, but it's far better than anything you could've imagined.

It doesn't take long until Keanu is back, giving you Liam as you pull down your shirt and bra. You can't help but smile at how respectfully Keanu averts his eyes. Liam quickly starts sucking, eyes shutting close. “Ke, I... I will tell Liam about Daniel, but... You know you're his father, right?” You decide to say it because it's true. Daniel couldn't be here, and Keanu has been taking care of both you and Liam since the beginning. And you know he'll keep doing so. “I want you to be his father. I know he's not yours, but–”

“I love him as if he's my own.” He cuts you off, moving closer and caressing Liam's cheek. “And I'll take care of both of you, for the rest of my life.”

Smiling, you pull him close, kissing him once again.

For the first time since this mess began, you feel at ease. Truly happy. And Laura was right. It's far better to let things go and chose what makes your heart happy. And you're glad you had it in you to finally step and make this decision.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303 @june-harris

[mameleh-life]

Holding On with All Your Might:

Messes, Mistakes, Motherhood

That woman in the photo kissing me? That was my nurse the hospital was low staff -Tuli was born July fourth and she was my only nurse and she was very tired and stressed and eventhough I was in so much freaking pain [anesthesiologists were not available for epidural] I gave her a huge hug when she came in the room I was so happy to see someone to help me finally I had been feeling contractions for hours and I think at first she was taken aback by my hug but we became so close over the next 24 hours because we went through alot of stuff together and at the end we were like old friends kindness matters and I do feel that I got through my delivery in huge part to the fact that I felt she was there and she was incredibly kind. Kindness makes miracles happen.

I was so worried during my pregnancy with Tuli I had placenta previa, deathly low iron levels and a whole lotta scary stuff happening in my life. A recurring thought in my head was why? Why did I have to go through this weirdness what did I ever do? And I made mistakes and I went to a dark place that I wish I never went and I live with many regrets. In a time like this, when the world feels so bleak and everything seems so dark how can we hold on to our joy with all our might? When we overcame alot of dark stuff and finally feel after years ourselves again how can we hold on to happiness especially amidst so much pain felt by everyone in the world it's such a nuanced concept because it doesnt even feel right in some ways to be able to stay joyful during a time like this but I know for my babies I need to because they need happiness, brightness and beautiful things in their lives and my life is for them.

So in order to break it down into real simple parts its something like this:

We can regret the past but we cant change the past, we can regret mistakes we made but we cant take them back we can try to make life the way it was but ultimately its gonna have cracks in it [those cracks could be beautiful like stained glass if we piece them together in a gorgeous pattern, but they are still cracks and so life will be different]

We need to draw strength from what we did overcome and not focus on how we messed up but focus rather on what we can do in the future with what we learned can we share our story with other single mamas so they wont feel so alone? Can we try and be kinder from this day forward? Can we become more accepting, more open-minded more full of love towards everyone we meet and not blame anyone but ourselves for the mistakes we made. If we can do these things single mamas I'm telling you we start feeling very mighty but mighty where it counts, in the soul. When you've been to the places I've been you realize it's the soul that matters the most and a soul could be broken and fixed up to be even more beautiful and full of depth than it was before it broke in fact a book of poetry I started to read bu Pierre Jeanty given to me by one of my best friends is teaching me this, to realize broken can be beautiful and not all those who have scars are damaged single mamas are in fact sometimes even more able to help the world because they possess a might that comes from a place of wanting to nurture even when they themselves arent nurtured.

Never give up even when everything seems bleak and hopeless Hashem really listens to tefilos he really does. It doesnt matter what language you daven in as long as it comes from the heart Hashem listens. Hashem knows what's in a soul and if you believe then you know it's all min hashamayim and I really believe that . I have more emunah now as a "broken" person than I ever did as a happy, carefree [willingly carefree cause i chose to ignore all the bad stuff not smart🙈] mama I have so much emunah that I know everything is for a reason and we cant change anything in this world without begging Hashem to listen to us.

Lastly, be a kind person. Just do it be kind, be patient be loving. Yeah we get angry and were all on edge and look I have to work on my colorful language use #momlife is hard sometimes you need to lock yourself in the bedroom and just say a not nice word really loud because it feels cathartic but im trying not to I'm trying to say fudge cookie instead I'll see how long that lasts but yeah its important to be kind to everyone we meet especially now.

[justinsdaysinthedark]

Post #8 - So long, friend

Sunday August 4th: Today marks 3 weeks I've been in hospital and day 5 of my 16 day chemotherapy treatment. Before I left to head in here on the 14th of July, I joked with Courtney's dad, John that I'd beat his record for time in hospital (3 consecutive weeks) not thinking it would actually happen. Alas, when I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll own that title; one I'd definitely prefer not to have! Here I was thinking I'd be in here for a few days. I suppose in retrospect my breakdown in the middle of Coles 21 days ago was for good reason!

As mentioned earlier, I had my fifth day of chemotherapy today and everything has gone smoother than I thought. I had an incredibly difficult two days on Thursday and Friday (days two and three) with nausea, headaches, incredibly tired and just generally not feeling myself. A lot of this I put down to a couple of bad nights sleep and the chemo finally hitting my body and doing its thing. Saturday and today (days four and five) have fortunately been the total opposite, which is great for me! I've had more energy, less nauseas and just generally felt myself (as well as I can, I suppose!)

I know some of you are wondering what it's like to get chemotherapy...and that's a valid question. Let me preface my answer by reminding everybody that it affects different individuals in different ways. How I react to this chemotherapy plan won't be how anybody else does. I guarantee that! Essentially, it's just like having a fluid drip with a few warning labels on the packet. Some I've felt average during them or a few hours afterwards whereas others I haven't exactly noticed a difference. It's important to keep in mind that chemotherapy isn't the drug itself, it's a word used to cover a wide range of drugs which when used a certain way should assist with treatment of cancer. Much like the word 'car' doesn't distinguish what sort of car one owns - there's a big difference between a '92 Camry and a '19 Jag!

The next two days are 'rest days' for me, which I'm absolutely ecstatic about! Two days without chemo will be a great chance for my body to relax and recover from five days of being pumped with various chemicals.

Day 10 is when things pick up again volume wise and from them until the finish, I'll basically be on a drip 24/7 and constantly have to be monitored - totally different to these first five days.

How have I been going mentally? It's up and down like the hillsides in Tasmania! For the most part, I'm great and remaining as positive as one can be in such circumstances. My support network has been so incredible in coming into see me, calling and checking up on me. I may not have had to use them as much as I thought I would, but it's so reassuring to know so many people are there for me when I do need them. My eye has shown some seriously significant improvements since Friday, which is helping to confirm the fact that maybe this stuff is doing something. This morning I woke up and regained the ability overnight to look up and down with my left eye and I'm just waiting for the morning I wake up and my eyesight is back to normal with both eyes! I'm also just about back to normal with my ability to chew which has opened up the food options for me.

On the other side, I have the daily thought of 'why me? Why does this have to happen to me right now?' Unfortunately, this thought is only human nature and one I have to allow to enter and flow by. Nobody is 100% positive and by allowing this thought to come and go, it strangely makes the situation easier to accept. I'm at a stage where I'm really starting to miss the simple things in life. Little things like sleeping in a completely dark room with no noise, having a shower with a consistent temperature and being able to make up my own food decisions on a daily basis. There's so many other things however it's these three things I'm most looking forward to when I go home!

Last Friday morning was pretty tough for me as well. Adam, my roommate opposite me (not to be confused with Dr. Adam) got the all clear to go home. We'd spent roughly fifteen days together and had developed quite a bond and friendship. Adam had lymphoma, similar to me and was a couple of days ahead of me with his chemo treatment. To have somebody there to talk to, bounce ideas off and ask questions on what to expect is exactly what I needed over the most difficult times I had in here. It made early morning blood tests during breakfast and late nights after both of our families left that whole lot easier. Not having that somebody here anymore has made the past few days a little harder but nothing I won't get through. I know he'll read this to kill time at home so I hope you don't mind me writing this, Adam!

Adam actually sent me a photo a few days after he left with him and his son both smiling and that gave me strength and hope that I'd eventually get out of here and be in the same position! I honestly can't wait for that day! In all seriousness, a big thank you needs to go to this man for keeping me sane in the time we spent together. Whilst a brief fifteen days, we're in this journey together and we will both get through it.

I honestly don't have much planned for the week ahead so I can't guarantee when my next blog post will be. I'm expecting the results of a test that was sent off last Monday sometime this week. This should definitively tell me what type of lymphoma I have. My fingers and toes are crossed it's not Burkitt's as this will change my treatment program for the remaining cycles. I'm not holding my breath these will come through early in the week - I'm more banking on answers before Friday. I'm really looking forward to resting over the next two days before we get into the serious back-half of my 16 day treatment.

That's it from me tonight. I'm off to watch Day four of The Ashes and no doubt will be asleep before midnight! Enjoy your week and cherish moments spent with friends and family. You don't know when they'll be your last.

Much love,

Juzz xx

[punkwhodrinkstea-blog]

I'm Back (catching up)

Hey I’m back! So folks it’s been fairly eventful this past 10 days or whatever since I’ve written here. My depression was doing so well for almost  2 weeks where I  only felt it late at night or early in the morning but generally it was at ease. As you may know if you follow this blog, I  have just moved. It’s been one week today since I first slept in my new bed.  Also my new bed is awesome and it’s been the first time sleeping in a bed in almost 3 years. I’ll tell you why in the next paragraph. Anyway I have come to the mind of a leader in my church to make my church’s internet presence better than it is now… mostly cause right now it sucks and is ran by old people who don’t know anything about reaching out to us younger folk. Watch it’s easy just say stuff like: YO, bruh, noice, sup and… Hitler did nothing wrong. Hahaha ok that was a joke, chill. But seriously they need a young team of people to wield the power of social media to make out church not look like a bunch of squares. So I am sitting in a cafe downtown my new city as I wait to meet with this leader guy so we can discuss details. I will likely be interrupted soon so the rest of the blog will probably be written after the meeting.

Anyway so I haven’t slept in a bed for almost 3 years because back in 2014 a new Call of Duty came out and a few coworkers and I were big fans at the time. We decided to go 24 hours straight on the launch day. After 18 hours I fell asleep at my desk and fell onto the floor. At that moment I realised I don’t need a bed to sleep and all that space could be used for  more video game stuff. So I sold my bed and put in another desk and an old TV my dad bought years before and was no longer using. So yeah my room was just a bunch of desks, screens and gaming consoles and a gaming computer but now I have all that plus a bed because my new room is bigger and I got another desk haha… it’s crazy and I will never have to leave my room ever again! (except for food, water and to use the bathroom).

Anyway the move to the new house was amazingly organized and smooth. Though my stressful parents still made a lot of fuss because things weren’t “perfect” but they’re happy now and everything is coming together well. My room is basically finished.  I worked on it alone for about 8 hours a day for 2 days to get it that way. Only a few minor things left but it’s not a problem. I just made sure it was good enough for me to use as a hiding place from my family. Next is the new city, I came from picket fence suburbs to a fairly busy and dense downtown. It’s not big like Toronto, NYC or Chicago or anything but it still has almost everything a person could ask for. grocery store, cafe’s, video game store, restaurants and tons more that I haven’t bothered to look for yet. Also Art is a big theme for this city, there’s lots of art stores and events.

Anyway I’ve continued to learn how to drive a car with manual transmission with my girlfriend’s parents since they’re nicer and their cars’ are more worn in. ummmmm what else has happened? Umm I went to a geek convention in a city near mine. I went with  my girlfriend and we had a blast, we only got to go opening day so there wasn’t tons to do but it was my first convention ever in my life which is surprising since I love geek culture so much. Anyway it was amazing, such cool cosplays and vendors with overpriced but cool fan art along with other accessories, video games and tons more. It’s like a geek shop website in real life, I was so busy looking at all the cool stuff that I almost walked into my girlfriend and other people several times. I’m one of those people who need a “home base” sorta thing when I’m in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable or new environment. So I stuck close to my girlfriend for safety. Next year I will be better prepared with lots of cash and a cosplay as ‘L’ from Death Note.

Anyway my depression is back, it hit me hard when I woke up a couple days ago and I was unable to shake it off. I’m not too bad though, I mean I was able to leave my house and write this in a cafe with other people around, though I am looking  forward to being alone for the night. I will likely be doing much more writing tonight. Also i Just realized that I have about two thirds of  my book to finish in about a month. I’m sad to say that will probably won’t happen which is sad but I’ll shall do my best and at least I’ll be busy. The end of this month is a big deadline for lot’s of my hobbies along with a testimony of my life which I am making as a video. Anyway you get it, I’ve got stuff to do.

Alright so this is no after my meeting with that leader guy from my church and so far… I’m very nervous. My church has so many rules on what we can or can’t do. Also he wants to bring in other volunteers from other branches of the church and ask them to provide content and stuff for us to use. This massively complicates things and makes it hard for us young people to truly have any control and make change. The sad thing is, is that they don’t truly trust me or any other younger person to post fully have control over what is said and what is done on social media which means it has to be watered down, white person churchy and boring.  Trying to make this appeal to people under 25 years old is nearly impossible. But whatever, I’ve got a feeling I’ll be talking about this further on this blog.

So I guess that’s it for today, just bringing any readers up to speed on my life… like anyone cares. Anyway peace out and don’t die… unless you want to then, go for it I guess but I’d advise against it.