#so maybe ive just incorporated these thought patterns into my psyche as a way to explain and “justify” the things i think and do
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apparently I'm literally a textbook schizoid lol
#shit i was venting about earlier today was nearly verbatim in the research i was reading#wild#maybe i just read too much#so maybe ive just incorporated these thought patterns into my psyche as a way to explain and “justify” the things i think and do#.... pretty sure it doesnt matter either way because its fucked me over and the beliefs are dug in deep#i just wonder if i like. induced it in myself by reading about it so much while i was developing#like. i first read about it when i was 12-13ish?#and my research has only gotten deeper over the years#it still doesnt matter but it would be so stupid if im like this because i researched too hard and my brain latched on#i mean. ofc the trauma is the reason it developed at all but thats true of most disorders i have
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