#so maybe i'll succeed tomorrow????? maybe???

[nighthire-a]

my tummy hurts but i'm being brave

[yandere-sins]

If traumatizing the yans is your thing, let me present: a darling who lovebombs and ghost + an insecure/paranoid yandere! It'll work on yans like Azul, Idia, Malleus, and Scara since man's probably scared of darling leaving on the inside.

I'll pick the first two because they fit it so well, thank you for requesting! ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Azul

♡ Azul is used to being, well, used. He profits from it more than anyone else, and honestly, it never bothered him before, even when a deal fell through. If the deal was important, he made it so it would succeed. That's why it was even more taunting for him when the deal he wanted to make with you kept being delayed. Why? It wasn't his fault; that much was very clear. You showed early on that you had every intention to seal the deal—become his personal attendant on call whenever he wanted in exchange for all the riches and things you wanted in life. Azul would have made you a star if that had been your goal, rich and famous and adored by everyone—while he was still pulling the strings in the background, making you share his bed at night without any exceptions.

♡ But there's no way he could stay mad at you for long. Sure, you never sign the contract that would make you all his, even though you coax him into expensive dinners and dates constantly that he pays out of his own pocket for you. However, with you feeding him dessert, giggling at his jokes, and complimenting his prowess and intelligence, Azul can't help but boast and blush at everything you say, looking more love-struck than ever when you hug his arm on the way home, telling him how great he is and how much you appreciate all he does for you. He is a great provider, but he loves hearing it from your mouth. You make him feel so good when you feed into his obsession; tell him he's the only one for you. That you can only rely on him and that you want no one else. Azul even promises to provide anything you want as you two stand in front of your home, brushing his thumb over your lips as he waits for you to give him the pleasure of kissing you, almost sealing the deal. He promises to give you all you desire when you come to sign the contract tomorrow—he could even come and pick you up for the appointment! But as he leans forward, you just grin, quickly kissing his cheek before leaving him high and dry in your doorway, offering him a wink as you close the door.

♡ And after that, you never show up. Even the twins are avoiding Azul's office, trying not to get too close to him as he is absolutely fuming, lashing out, and tearing apart anything in his way. It was all fun and games until you kept repeating stunts like that, and Azul's patience is wearing really thin. He plans to take the contract with him next time, place it in front of you the moment the overly expensive bill comes, and tell you how you'll have to pay this time unless you sign the damn contract. He even fantasizes about guiding your hand to sign the document before finally getting his piece of cake right then and there, out in public if he must. You've been putting off your responsibility in this relationship, and he's over it. But damn... he sure as hell wasn't ready for the waterworks to start once he puts you on the spot. And how can he do that to you? You are the loveliest creature he's ever met, and you tell him you love him so much and don't understand what you did wrong. Maybe he can be patient one more time.

♡ You've been playing with the devil for so long that you might not even notice as the weights shift. When Azul starts standing you up for dates, when, suddenly, he's too busy. He's always on his phone when you two are together, not as interested in all your compliments anymore. It makes you antsy. What if he's slipping from your grasp? Once the usual things don't work anymore, what else can you do? You should have known that, in the end, Azul always gets what he wants. Even if you keep trying to get out of this deal, he'll be the one with the last laugh! And when he keeps feeding you the same treatment you gave him, you are slowly falling into his trap. Azul will remind you that he really is so generous, right? He loves you after all that happened between you two, you know that, right? Wouldn't you like to enjoy all you have when you're with him unconditionally? Azul will give you the world because he loves you. He won't kick you to the curb; he'll always be there. It's so easy! You just need to sign here.

Idia

♡ Poor Idia. People kept telling him you were too good for him and that someone like you would never fall for someone like him. But even so... how could he not gaze upon you lovingly, wishing you'd come to his room with him to play games and cuddle all day long, his arms around you while you two slept and a smile on both your faces when you fed each other snacks. Imagine the surprise when you finally acknowledged him—talked with him even! You were so interested in his games and wanted to try them, sitting in his room like he kept dreaming about. But this time, it was real, and your knees were brushing, and everything was so perfect. You two really like each other, and you encourage him to go out with you just as much as you spend time in his safe space, giving him the opportunity to love you.

♡ His heart was always meant to break, but did you have to be so harsh? He simply didn't feel like going out with you that day. Idia doesn't really like your friends, and they don't like him. You keep saying you wished you could stay in with him, but your friends demanded to go out that night. It would be such a shame if you had to go alone, right? Also, why does he always have to pay? You know it is hard to say "no" when you make him seem like the most significant, most generous person in your life in front of everyone, kissing him and boasting about how amazing your boyfriend is. Because yes, he is your boyfriend. The word never loses its intended effect. You make him believe that every boyfriend has a duty to his partner to fulfill their wishes, and Idia follows it religiously. Until one day, he decides that enough is enough and that it is time for you two to do stuff he wants to do.

♡ It's hard to say what is worse: the arguing or the cold shoulder. You usually text him good morning and good night, so it hit him hard when you didn't let anything be heard for days. He caved after only one full day of this, apologizing and promising to make up for it, and immediately, he got the satisfaction of hearing from you again. You knew how to play him like a fiddle, and it worked!... but you underestimated Idia's obsession with you. And you believed him when he told you he had something special planned. You need to wear a blindfold, but you will not be disappointed. Maybe he's proposing, maybe he's gifting you a new car. Maybe there's a house waiting for you to live and decorate. Gosh, the possibilities!

♡ Don't be shocked when you remove the blindfold and find yourself locked in a cell. Look, Idia put up a gaming system and a huge shelf of the newest games to enjoy! Here, you can argue and scream as much as you want—no one will hear you. It's an underground prison, after all. Did you forget that this was his family business? You're such a jokester! As if he'd let you out just because you ask him nicely. Now you are his, and his alone. No one will find you here, and Idia gets to watch over you all day long! These cameras are the newest model, you know. Pretty fancy, eh? Idia does it because he loves you! You are so pretty, even with the despair on your face. He can't wait to spend the rest of his life with you, playing games and ditching responsibilities towards your friends. You only need each other, so just wait for him to come back. There's some more paperwork to declare you exceptionally dangerous, so there won't be anyone stupid enough to come close to what is his.

[gorejo]

▸ I'LL MEET YOU FOREVER IN THIS MEMORY. - GOJO SATORU. forbes30!gojo

synopsis: he'll argue it's fate — a divine moment — that he's always in your proximity, and you call it bullshit. he says his class was in the same building, panting with a sweat pebbling on his forehead, yet you've seen him run across campus just couple minutes prior as he awkwardly stood in front of you. he's a man on a mission, determined to succeed. to have you finally fall for him.

content: wc: 6.6 k (sigh), fluff, light cursing, uses of she/her to align with the original au but the fic can be read without it. reader lovingly calls him stupid for one part and is shorter than him because the man is canonically tall af. petnames (babe, sweetheart, angel). slight nsfw towards the end, Gojo calls himself daddy in one scene just for jokes. college forbes30!gojo !!

There was nothing but the sound of chalk hitting the board, the frustrated sighs of students trying to keep up, and the monotonous tone of Takashi sensei talking that filled the lecture hall. 

Students hastily typed on their electronics, while others chose to go old-fashioned with simple pen and paper. 

But for Gojo Satoru, none of that mattered, really.  

11:47.

Impatiently shaking his legs, his body just barely fitting in the cramped seat, uncaring if the attendant in front of him sent multiple glares for his crude manner of bumping his knees against the back — why the hell were these spaces always so damn cramped? 

Satoru released another long sigh as he clicked open his phone to check the time, again.

Infuriatingly, it was still fucking 11:47.

It'll take me about six minutes to get to the quad, and another five to make it to the east building...

“Dammit,” Satoru cursed, his supposed whisper radiating a bit too loudly throughout the silent hall as he slumped further into his seat groaning as his impatience imbued his mind with thoughts. 

One more minute and it’ll be just enough time to make it over —

"Satoru-kun,” releasing an annoyed sigh, “would you mind sharing with the class what could’ve gotten you so possibly worked up today?” his professor questioned without even turning his back to look at who just so rudely interrupted his class — again. 

What excuse should I make today? Maybe I can leave now and act as if —

“Satoru-kun?” The professor's voice laced with irritation as he put the chalk down, the click of the powder hitting the rail echoed throughout the auditorium — no one dared to speak a word — not especially when the semester was so close to ending. 

“Can you answer this question because you seem to be awfully more interested in something else rather than studying for your exam tomorrow?”

maybe I can ask her to study for finals? Oh, that’s good… I can show how studious and dependable I am, and then maybe she’ll fall for me. Goddamn call me a genius! But wait — fuck, I can’t use that because — 

“Satoru, uh… sensei's coming,” Gojo felt a nudge on his side, his colleague nervously squirming in his seat, whispering to get his attention but yet it went unacknowledged — far over Satoru’s head — surely, the man currently had other priorities than to be rotting in business calculus. 

Business calculus… the bane of his existence, his utter torture of attending every session, a complete fifty minutes wasted three times a week just for him to sit there and ponder about something else — most of the time, it was him getting antsy to get to you.

It was much to everyone’s surprise that he even went to all his lectures — the one student no one ever expects to have perfect attendance for a class he gives two shits about — well, he does give a shit because it’s all for his plan. 

…. 

“So tell me why you’re trying to take this class?” His best friend glanced over Satoru’s shoulder. 

“Don’t bother me, I can’t multi-task,” Gojo murmured, ignoring his raven hair friend as he lightly bit his lips, furiously typing up his course number into the system, his back hunched as he anxiously stared at his loading computer screen, “never thought getting a class would be so stressful," Satoru groaned.

“Why are you so stressed, it’s unlike you,” Geto’s voice was serene, “and what other dumb shit are you up to?” he chuckled while taking a sip of his coffee. 

“It’s not dumb,” Satoru shot back.

“You tested out of calculus, Satoru.”

“So what?” he grumbled — just a couple seconds more…

Geto didn’t quite understand why Gojo had to go to such lengths, completely acting out of his character as he pitifully waited for his screen to load.

He’d never seen his friend so riled up about something so simple. The last time Satoru got like this was a couple of years back when a small pastry shop he searched online closed an hour before they got there. His defeat and whines were understandable since the trip took three hours by train.

But this… yea, Suguru couldn’t quite put a finger on it… well not until a very minor dialogue he had with a certain someone, such small talk that even he forgot that it occurred a semester prior.

“Are you by chance doing this because —”

Cutting him off, “fuck…” was all Suguru heard as his best friend rested his forehead on his arm, body slumping from the adrenal fatigue.

In bold, a message read: 

Congrats! You have successfully registered for all your classes

Perhaps, it wouldn't hurt to learn a bit more about limits and infinities, Satoru thought before taking a nap in the library.

….

Or I can ask if she can help me study. because she’s good at that, right? she’s always at the library, always ignoring my texts because of her goddamn exams…

Gojo pondered, crossing his arms with his index and thumb rubbing against his chin, his cheeks squeezed while furrowing his brows. 

but fuck, that means I won’t be able to talk to her because last time — I mean, it’s been a month since then, maybe it’ll be different now, I figure we got closer. she's smiling a bit more and we’ve gone on a couple of dates… I suppose — 

… 

“Psst,” Gojo harshly whispered from across the table, “psst!” 

Glaring at him over your laptop, eyes sparkling and round, face needy for attention, “what do you want?” You spat out.

“Just wondering,” Gojo chirped, his ears perked in your direction with his elbows resting on the table, body leaning towards your direction, “Have you fallen for me yet?”

“No, you’re not my type.” you retorted emotionless.

“What’s your type then?” Gojo countered, unfazed, smiling as he challenged your words. 

“Someone, not Gojo Satoru.”

“Well, aren’t you spicy?” He stretched out his legs while leaning back on his chair, boyishly smiling with his arms thrown behind his neck, the lean physique of his body outlined in this position — he looked hot, no doubt about that, and… he knew that. 

“but i’m just going to tell you now,” cocking his head to the side, licking his soft lips that shined a pretty pink, confidently proclaiming, 

“there will come a day when your words will bite you in the ass.”

“Did your parents ever teach you about having some class  —“ 

“Can you guys lower it down, or move someplace else?” a student hushed, stating through gritted teeth as he witnessed the tortuous and unforgivable sight of you both, love, bantering in the library of all places. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, apologetically smiling at them before facing forward to meet your stalker — you swore he was stalking you because there was no way he and you could have this many “random” encounters, that would work out so perfectly with him just magically appearing wherever you go — it's bullshit you thought, especially when his acting skills weren’t necessarily that great… 

“Hey babe,” Gojo cheekily whispered,

“I’m not your babe,” you hissed back.

“Ooo, so you like the sweet pet names huh? Noted,” he nodded, the curve of his lips turned upward, humming a tune while he typed something on his phone.  

you couldn’t tell what annoyed you more, his devilishly handsome smile, or the fact that your heart was beating in unrhythmic patterns the more you talked with him.

A facade maybe, but you’ve come to undeniably enjoy his rambunctious company despite him getting on your nerves. 

“Then, sweetheart, do you wanna —“ 

“No.” you numbly stated while typing away at your report.

“But I didn’t even get to —“

“Still, no.” 

“Fine…” for a moment Satoru slumped into his chair, before quickly asking again, “how about —”

“No.”

Smiling as he rests his elbows on the table, leaning forward as he pushes down your laptop, his long, pretty fingers lightly tapping the case, “Do you hate Gojo Satoru?” His words slyly spewed out of his lips, anticipating your shy face when he catches you slipping for saying ‘no’ without much thought.

“Yes.” 

“Boo,” Satoru pouted while retreating to his side, slumping his back to rest his cheeks on his textbook as he closed his eyes.

With your screen down it was easier to take notice of his features. Not that you were blatantly indifferent about his looks — everyone knew Gojo Satoru was handsome — but you rarely got to see him for who he was underneath all the layers of superficial worth people praised him for. 

There was a lot on his shoulders from the brief mentions about his family and childhood that you could sense. It was easy to tell that behind all the crazy and loud was a little boy hiding his loneliness and pain under a mask and careless demeanor. 

You noticed his lips were mildly protruding out, his brows slightly furrowed and his white hair gently frayed down on his forehead with his lashes long and occasionally fluttering. His skin was unblemished and his jaw was sharp yet his face still held the youth of his age.

He’ll soon prepare to work for his family business, learning about the intricacies of the business and possibly becoming one of those cutthroat bosses you’ve seen in the dramas. 

He’ll probably grow a bit more — he’s been working out a lot Gojo would say, proven by the multiple thirst traps he’ll post. His arms were getting a lot more defined, and his abs… oh, you didn’t mean to take a peak. But guess you did have a front-row seat to his almost topless torso when he mindlessly pulled up his shirt while he took off his sweatshirt.

can't say you disliked the view.

You remember feeling warm that day — stomach fluttering with something, while your back felt gently embraced with his scent and clothing. 

“You checking me out?” Gojo muttered without taking a glance at you, pulling you back into reality.

“N-no!” you quickly looked away, opening up your laptop as you grimaced at the harsh stares you got from those around you for the noise, “j-just wondering if you were going to study or not?” you murmured, hiding your face behind your laptop and your cheeks starting to feel hot.

“For someone so smart you ask dumb questions,” Gojo chuckled as he stretched out his legs, his feet purposefully tapping against yours, “what does it look like I’m doing, sweetheart?” he quietly mumbled before his voice started to fade out, “you know,” silently yawning as his body curled inward — all 6’3’’ of him on the small desk that barely housed his long legs — the tapping of his foot now softly, soothingly, rubbing against yours, “you gotta work smarter, not hard…er…”

You weren’t sure if the man before you was a complete idiot or a genius. but for unknown reasons, this guy surprisingly scores the top grade in his classes when his only method of “studying” is sleeping with his head on top of his textbook — surely, the world isn’t fair.

Despite the little snore you heard in front of you, with the light grunts he made from the uncomfortable position, you couldn’t help but fondly look at the guy in front of you. 

Smiling — yea, you’ve been doing that a lot these days.

You decided — maybe, opening up wouldn’t be so bad… 

For you, you remembered it was the first time you felt odd in the stomach. A bit like butterflies as you watched him doze off to sleep, trying your absolute best to restrain your hands from moving a piece of hair that covered his face as he slightly drooled while you studied. You’ve been catching yourself stalling time to meet him where he supposedly just ran into you — he was nice and the epitome of warmth, and you liked that in your dull world. 

But for Satoru, it was another failed attempt to get closer to you. 

He remembered waking up in an empty library — alone. he swore he rested his head for no more than thirty minutes, but how the hell was the time three hours past that? 

Stretching as he released a low groan, his gaze foggy as he squinted his eyes to look for you, only to frown when he realized you were nowhere to be seen.

“dammit” Satoru grumbled while quickly packing his bags, “I wanted to buy dinner —” 

A neon post it leafed its way down to the table, planting face down as Gojo slowly blinked in confusion while touching his forehead.

Picking up the piece of paper, it read:

Hey loser, you were mumbling about some food while you slept, so I got you dinner and placed it next to your backpack. go home and eat ( :

p.s. also, stop bothering me, weirdo.

p.p.s. you know you drool while sleeping?

Dumbfoundedly wiping his lips with the back of his hand, Gojo wasn’t sure if he was blushing from embarrassment or the fact that you were the first girl to buy him dinner — well, it wasn’t in the typical romantic sense… but who the fuck cares, it’s the fact that you bought him dinner; therefore, a step a closer to his goal. So he wins.

Carefully folding the note and placing it into the safeguard of his wallet, Gojo quickly strapped on his bag as he gently held onto his dinner, cradling it like a prized possession, mentally noting what to use for his excuse tomorrow while he made his way down the stairs to the exit.

The air felt oddly cold for the summer. the slight breeze brushed against his face, the ends of his hair tickling his cheeks as he breathed in the damp air.

Everything felt good — right almost despite his lost chances of getting dinner with you. Perhaps he can save that for another day. 

“Just you wait,” beaming up at the moon lighting up the campus, his blue eyes sparkling as Gojo declared, “you will be mine.”

…

“ — Satoru-kun,” his professor called out. His impatience ran thin as he tapped his foot against the floor, “if you don’t answer, I will fail you —” 

“Sensei, the limit just simply doesn’t exist — it’s limitless.” Satoru nonchalantly responded, cooly peaking at his watch now — maybe the time would read faster with that — but the second hand still stayed the same, seconds excruciatingly feeling long. 

“No matter how difficult you propose this function, if the derivative doesn’t exist, nor will its limit.” Gojo continued to calmly iterated his reasoning.

“But doesn’t this point here,” pointing at the board, the chalk panging against the surface, “exist?” his professor challenged, “it’s a point on the graph.”

“Well, no matter how far you stretch this graph within the axes, going as far as trying to touch the asymptotes, it will never. because the limit will always be limitless since the function at those points won’t exist. So, no, that point isn’t on the graph.”

“And what about here?,” pointing to the chalkboard,“what is your answer, Satoru-kun?”

“Assuming you only have one x to one y, then the answer is simple. By definition, the limit will exist if the points on both sides of that graph approach the same point. To find that point, well that depends on the graph given. And looking at this graph, no. there are two points that are open.”

It should be about damn time. 

Gojo felt his blood rushing through his body, heart anxiously pumping with each heavy thud drumming to his ears, the only sound audible that his brain could decipher instead of the pointless questions his professor was asking — why was he making it so goddamn difficult. 

His urgency spiked up as adrenaline pumped through his body, anxiously shaking his leg, Gojo clicked his phone open again, his large hand covering the device as he peeped down. 

11:48 — shit.

“Well, what about when —”

“Shit, I'm late,” Gojo cursed, frantically packing up his bag and zipping it up.

“Excuse me?” His professor frowned, obviously taken aback by his student’s daring use of profanity in his lecture.

But paying no mind, Gojo quickly stood up and paved his way out, harshly whispering past with a light smile as he hugged onto his bag,  “Psst, sorry, going through!” doing his best to swiftly move through the cramped isles while his giant, uncaring if his lanky build caused a nuisance in the middle of the lecture, unbothered if his professor was done talking to him or not, 

“Satoru-kun?” His professor was flabbergasted at his student’s rude ignorance.

“excuse me, sorry!” Satoru cheekily exclaimed while finally making his way out.

“I haven’t dismissed —”

“Sensei sorry!” Gojo exclaimed while opening the lecture door, ready to sprint out, “I promise, I’ll pass your exam tomorrow!” he blurted, voice fading off into the distance and Gojo now nowhere to be seen.

“... at least don’t sit in the middle if you’re always going to barge out like that,” his professor murmured to himself, massaging the bridge of his nose as he sighed. 

Yet the only response he got was silence, the awkward creaking of the door closing, and the clock striking the end of his lecture. 

“Fuck,” he panted while brushing his fingers through his hair, a little damp from his sweat, his chest huffing from the sprint across campus as he looked at his watch, brows furrowed as his eyes searched everywhere for a glimpse of you. 

“Not there,” he mumbled, gazing to his side, “no, not here,” frustratingly turning around as he scanned the area just in case you slipped out the back door, his eyes loosely looking past a couple of figures, “damn it, not here too.”

“What’s not here?” he heard a soft voice from behind him. 

“Just looking for someone,” without processing, Satoru blurted out, “uhm… sorry just talking to myself —” Gojo mumbled as he slowly turned around, impatient that someone was taking away his precious time to find you.

Call him a dreamer but he was still hopeful that you possibly didn’t just leave — I mean how could you, when he made it a point to always see you after class, you couldn’t be that clueless.  

“You’re late,” you stated, trying to stifle your laugh, his busy eyes quickly changed to ones of nervousness as he registered who was exactly in front of him. His clear, azul eyes were imbued in sheer panic as his expression dwindled to eventual ease as a droplet of sweat ran down from his temple.

“Oh god, uhm,” scratching his head as he awkwardly looked off to the side, whispering under his breath, “I- I ended class a little late, but great to see you again,” he tried composing himself while smiling — the one that made his lips twitch from nervousness.

“I see,” you hummed, “you seem out of breath, Gojo,” you teased, remembering just how frantic he looked minutes prior while running over. 

You ended class a bit earlier, wondering if he’d be waiting outside like he normally did, pacing back and forth to make it seem like he simply ran into you — how utterly stupid was he?

But it was you that would giggle, feeling the type of happiness that made your heart full and cheeks hurting — guess you were the stupid one for falling for such an act. 

So you decided to wait today, standing off in the corner to witness how he would stage his act — you just didn’t expect him to be in such a panic rush trying to get here.

“Yea, y-you know those stairs, it gets me all the time,” Gojo stiffly laughed as he fisted his hand behind his back, trying to steady his breath and nose from embarrassingly flaring.

“Satoru,” giggling as you peeped up, noticing just how much taller he was compared to you while his hands nervously twitched and cheeks rosy despite his firm stance that his class was only but a few steps away from yours, you couldn’t help but smile at his innocence, “there are no stairs in this building.”

“Satoru, huh… that’s a change… sounds so nice rolling off your tongue,” he pondered while staring at your lips. It was cute and just perfect as you said every letter, every syllable of his name —

“Earth to Gojo Sa-to-ru,” waving your hands, tip-toeing to get his attention.

“Ah, right…. Sorry,” he mumbled, shyly looking away only to take a quick glance at you looking up at him. 

“So…” cocking your head to the side, eyes doe-like while looking up through your lashes, “ what’s the plan for today? You softly chirped.

“uhm,” eyes widen, shocked at your response, “what?” his voice was unexpectedly sharp.

“I asked what are we doing today….” Rolling on your heels, “I-isn’t that why you’re here?” you nervously asked.

“Just like that?” Gojo glanced at you, eyes full of suspicion. 

“What do you mean?” you questioned, lips starting to form a pout as you awaited his answer.

“Sorry,” he sighed, stretching his legs out to match his height with yours, “didn’t mean to sound harsh,” he apologetically whispered while gazing into your eyes.

“It’s just that you always reject me…  I - I mean,” holding his hands up, shaking in defense to not offend you, “don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it,” furrowing his brows as he shook his head, “no, no, let’s retract back. I’m thrilled that you’re asking me. It's just that…” his voice slowly fading as if embarrassment finally caught up to his head.

“It's just what?” you softly mumbled. 

“Well,” sighing, “I had all these excuses planned out just in case you said no,” he confessed as he pulled his phone from his pocket, “It’s all in my notes app.”

“Notes app huh?” your lips twitched from trying to contain your laugh.

“So what was the excuse for today? or… ” you teased, gently hitting your elbow against his arm, “should I say no, so your efforts don’t go to waste?”

“Thought we could go for coffee after I uncoincidentally bumped into you after your class,” Satoru shrugged.

“Coffee sounds nice,” you hummed, “you’re buying?”

“Here gimme,” he softly encouraged, quickly taking your bag and swinging it over his shoulder, “I mean, I do owe you one for bumping into you that one day.”

“Ah, so you do admit, that was your fault,” you jokingly glared, “the headache you put me through because of your stupid five hundred dollar shirt,” you grumbled.

“Well technically it was a bit more,” he grinned, “but not really, I believe in fate,” he winked, “it was a divine moment.”

“You’re ridiculous,” rolling your eyes, “but I need to study.” 

“I have an excuse for that too.”

“And what could that be?”

“I got an exam tomorrow, so you can watch me be handsomely studious,” Satoru smiled.

“For what class?” stunned to hear Gojo Satoru and studying be spoken in a sentence together. 

“Business calc,” he frowned.

“Oh my god! Who’s your professor?” you beamed. 

“The one and only Takashi sensei,” Satoru chuckled, softly patting your head as he couldn’t resist your cute enthusiasm.

“What?” your voice suspicious, yet you had no resolve to remove it — it felt nice, his hands were big… you realized. 

“Nothing,” biting his lip to contain his laugh,” it’s just… that’s the most you’ve shown interest in me.” 

“Whatever…” you huffed to flush out the embarassment, “I have him next semester —” 

“I know,” he softly responded, his words going unnoticed.

“— and I’m worried because math isn’t really my forte,” you honestly confessed.

“That’s why you have me!” he stood with his chest tall, his thumb pointing at himself, “I’ll be your dependable, hot tutor that you fall in love with.”

“You’re ridiculous…”

Winking, “I don’t charge pretty girls like you —”

“So you’re telling me, you tutored other girls by being their hot and dependable tutor?” you raised a brow, standing to one side as you crossed your arms.

“What? N-no, that’s not it!” 

“mhm, yea… playboy,” shaking your head,” so why are you taking business calculus? Thought you tested out of it, no?”

“Well… a man has his reasons,” he cheekily stated.

“And how does that help me to study?” raising one brow as you questioned his logic, “ I thought your method of studying was sleeping on your textbook.”

“Okay wow, I was not prepared for that. You’re making it difficult for me again, but you know what?” pulling his sleeves up as he stood tall in front of you, “I’m prepared for your rejections. And in answer to that, then we can study together.”

“But you talk too much, and snore when you fall asleep.”

“Not true,” Satoru murmured, “Suguru said I was generally a peaceful and quiet sleeper.”

“Explain generally,” you eyed him suspiciously, “and I didn’t know you both were like that,” giggling, your heart slowly expanding in adoration the more you talked with him, “... sleeping together and such.”

“We just had one too many nights where we would pass out a little drunk after a party,” scratching the back of his head, “and m-my body runs a little hot… so…”

“So…?”

“So, Shoko may or may not have some photos of us,” Gojo’s face started to contort in disgust, “cuddling…”

“But aside from that,” he tried defending himself, “I’m very great to sleep with!” 

“Sure…” you gave him a teasing glance, “I’ll ask Geto the next time I see him about that.”

“Hey…” suddenly stepping closer to you, his voice serious yet soft. He was careful to not overstep any boundaries you might have placed, slowly reaching down to grasp hold of your fingers, 

“just give me a chance yea? I’ll be good, I- I won’t snore, I won't drool, and I’ll only talk when I need to, hmm?” he reassured

You can almost feel the sore desperation in his voice as you feel the feathery grazes of his fingers against yours; his breath held as he anxiously awaited your answer.

“Okay,” you softly mumbled.

“Great,” releasing his breath, “you won’t regret it, I promise,” Gojo whispered while smiling.

“Hey Satoru,” you lightly called out, his name perfectly rolling off your tongue — so delicate, so pretty.

“Mhm,” he invited you to continue.

“Did you run here?” You questioned, playing with your foot as you rolled a rock on your shoe, “you’re normally not so out of breath.”

“Pssh, no,” he awkwardly laughed, “I told you my class is in this building as well —“

“Stupid, come here,” you murmured, pulling him slightly down, taking a piece of your sleeve as you tiptoed to reach his face. Gently dabbing the small droplets of sweat under his soft white bangs, “next time don’t run. And finish your class, Sensei’s going to hate you,” you softly told him.

“I- I told you,” blushing because your face was way too close — dangerous even — examining your features, ‘pretty’ he thought as he watched you concentrate on him,

“I just happened to have class —“

“I’ll be waiting next time, so take your time coming,” you smiled, looking into his eyes before quickly flattening your feet, “it’s quite far to come here from across campus, no?”

Satoru just gives in, like the hundred different times where he willingly lost to you, “Not as hard as scoring a date with you,” he smiled while spreading his feet out to make it easier for you to continue.

“It’s not a date,” you mumbled, your cheeks feeling hot as his soft eyes gazed at you, his two hands lightly placed on your hips to draw you closer.

“It is so definitely a date,” Satoru professed, “and I can just tell,” his voice feathery and light, “that we’ll have many more.”

10 years later —

The light scratching on his pen against the document loomed in his office. Ijichi, his most trusted secretary anxiously waited for his boss to finish signing his papers, watching guard just in case he didn’t go running off before finishing all his duties — again.

“You don’t need to stand there hovering,” Gojo nonchalantly stated, his wrist gently peeking through his cuffs, his watch shining with every stroke of his name.

“Well, these reports are important that you have them signed by today,” Ijichi nervously answered.

“Do you have it ready?” Gojo responded without removing his gaze from the file he was reading just before signing.

“I-I do, the flower shop did say it was difficult to find the specific color, but they made it work. I’ll bring it over when you’re done… and reservations have been made, sir.”

“Perfect, because…” his voice calm and emotionless, his hair once perfectly set in the morning, now just a little frazzled from his busy day, his tie now loose from his stress, “this should be the last one I do,” Satoru smiled while giving his secretary the folder. 

“Sir, uhm you still have —”

“I’ll do them tomorrow,” Gojo stood up, reaching over to grab his coat, quickly throwing it over his broad shoulder.

“B-but!” Ijichi was frantic, his eyes shaking at the visible stack of papers Satoru had yet to sign — and oh, god, he didn’t even get to read over the file for tomorrow’s presentation.

“Satoru-sachou, the Chairman will be there for tomorrow—“

“And the flowers are beautiful, she’ll love them, thank you,” Gojo warmly smiled while taking a whiff of its scent, walking past the frazzled man to a mirror to quickly freshen up his white hair and clothes, reapply your favorite cologne and spray some mint into his mouth.

“Satoru-sach —”

“Relax, when have I ever worried you?”

'always,' Ijichi thought.

Nonchalant and unbothered as he fixed his tie, “It’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, and you’ll be fine,” Satoru stated as he took one look at the mirror, his sharp cerulean eyes looking at his secretary, “go take the night off, you look exhausted.” 

You! You are the source of my stress and mental breakdowns! Ijichi wanted to scream.

While making his way to the door, Satoru quickly noted, “I’ll be here in the morning with all of it finished,” he stated before leaving his office.

At a loss for words, helpless in front of his careless boss, Ijichi just stood frozen, mind racing at all the changes and accommodations, the phone calls and e-mails he’d have to make to fit into Gojo’s schedule because he knew for sure… Gojo Satoru will not be here bright and early in the morning to finish his work — especially when it is date night.

“I should just quit,” falling to his knees, defeated by his boss’s carelessness to simply skadoodle off on a date when he was one impacted by the brunt repercussions of his actions, “surely he wants to kill me with all this— ” 

Disrupting his internal monologue, “Ah, I almost forgot,” Ijichi’s mortal enemy spoke while opening the door and holding onto the knob, “I booked a small vacation for you and your wife for this weekend, it should be in my drawer,” the man simply blinked in response, “and don’t call me until I text you, I got important business for tonight,” Gojo warned before his voice quickly changed to that of pity, “yea… you definitely need that break,” he stated as he shook his head and closed the door again.  

Registering what just occurred, Ijichi grunted as he lifted himself up, brushing his knees as he walked towards Satoru’s desk, lightly skipping as the scales of his exhaustion flaked off from the caring act of his boss, “Well, guess I gotta start sending those emails now…” Ijichi hummed.

…

“Traffic doesn’t seem too bad,” Gojo muttered while looking at his phone’s navigation, his steps pacing as the clicks of his heels echoed through the halls of the empty parking garage.

Sliding his hand behind the handle, the car automatically turned on as he opened the door. Lowly grunting as he entered his Bentley, his eyes quickly scanned his back seat from the rearview mirror, his mind recalling a moment a couple of days prior that left you rather speechless in his arms — hot and sticky as he reconfirmed once again his love for you in a rather lustfully carnal matter.

He could do that with you — boyfriend privileges.

It’s not like he picked out this specific car, testing out the back specifically for its… spacious seating and tinted window. Totally didn’t bring this car to work today because he wanted to test those specifications out again… but only if you were up for it. 

And stepping on the gas pedal, Gojo drove out, the light screeches of his car heard from inside. 

“Daddy’s coming, sweetheart,” Gojo chuckled while firmly placing a grip on his wheel, his vacant arm resting on the side. 

Though a decade has gone by, Satoru still feels the same giddiness that he did when he was eighteen. He’s gotten taller, bulkier in his frame, and styled his clothes better from the god-awful sweats he always wore — though you still seem to always complain if he wasn’t wearing his specific gray ones, he doesn’t blame you. It makes his dick look nice.  

He kisses you a lot better than the sloppy ones he gave you in his teen years. He gets to wake up with you — face cutely bloated, tummy peaking through his loose shirt, legs entangled with his as he takes in your beauty. He likes that, all of it. 

He reads and understands your quirks before you even tell him. And strangely so, when you have a headache, well god be damned, he had one too. 

He’s become more influential and held power to his name, leading a multi-billion company, but in the privacy of his home, he was still silly, honest, and vulnerable. Contrary to the changes throughout the years, Satoru was still the same — a lovesick man.

Despite your harsh decision to break up with him from a simple misunderstanding, Gojo never held it against you. He’s grown to understand and works to amend the loss — together. It was his time to grow, his time to expand his horizons and his time to explore his options. But guess fate was really on his side because he walked back to where it all started with a fresh start — finding you two years ago at a college reunion. 

Life was good for Satoru — better when you came back into his world. Mornings weren’t so tough and nights didn’t feel so lonely. His mundane days of meeting and mediocre dates were of the past. Now, even the simplest days felt refreshing.

Looking out as he drove through the highway, a couple minutes from your workplace, he watched the city’s skyline sparkle in the dark. He recalled the days when he looked out the night sky, thinking if you were happy, wishing he could just understand why you decided to leave him — only for him to make some regrettable choices of relying on alcohol and texting quick fucks, slipping into weakness during the quietest of times.

It’s often when everything was quiet that felt the loudest — the most difficult to bear for him.

But now, when he sees the night sky he can’t help but feel warm with a slight tingling resonating from his core because even if it's quiet, he isn’t alone — you’ve nestled into a portion of his heart that he could never forsake, nor did he want to. 

She’ll like that, Gojo thought while looking up, making a mental note to mention it to you later.

He felt his heart beating fast as he imagined what face you would make when you would see him today — happy, relieved, excited? Or did you happen to have a bad day, the exhaustion dripping from your slumped shoulders simply needing a hug with light kisses as he expressed his love?

And parking his car, carefully grabbing the bouquet as he took another whiff — he doesn’t remember flowers smelling so beautifully fragrant when you weren’t in his life, but strangely now… it does. 

“Yellow tulips are my favorite,” you mentioned once while Satoru dropped you off at your dorm. 

“Why,” he asked. Repeating ‘yellow tulips’ in his head multiple times just so he can type it into his notes app later when he was alone.

“Just cause… they’re beautiful and they symbolize hope and happiness,” you softly said, “I like to think there’s something out there I can be hopeful for… and maybe find the answer to finding true happiness, if that even exists, ” you shyly confessed with a gentle laugh.

And grabbing hold of your hand, gently bringing it up to his lips for a soft kiss, specific to a finger on your left hand, Satoru marked a promise, “I’ll buy you all the yellow tulips in the world, till you find that answer.” 

Obviously, no flower could come abysmally close to your natural scent when he held you tightly in his arms, naked bodies touching as he breathed into your skin. 

And he hoped the time he spent with you was a step closer to finding your true happiness because, to him, you meant the world.

“She’ll be out in a few, so...” he murmured while taking a look at his watch, briefly scanning the entrance to find a good spot to wait. 

“There should be perfect,” he whispered to himself as he made his way to the corner — a place difficult to see through from the dangling tree leaves and vines.

Satoru couldn’t help but pleasingly reminiscence the times when he would run from his lecture to pick you up. Who can blame him, he was a man on a mission to find his princess — just so happens that she broke his heart eight years ago — but who the fuck cares about setbacks, things were good now.

He feels his heart beating, the familiar thumping in his chest as he waits for you. The usual sweating of his palms as he checked his phone for the time again, mentally groaning as time seemed to be infinitely fixed. Good thing there was no sensei asking him useless questions as he nervously waited.

“I’ll see you next week, have a great weekend Tanaka-san.” 

Gojo could realize that voice anywhere.

There you were, waving goodbye to a fellow male coworker that he had never liked — the lovely Tanaka-san, you always had so many great things to say about. He should just have you transferred to his company, you’ll thrive, and even have a chance to expand your talents … but you’ll give him an earful if he does.

But that’ll be a conversation for another day when he’s more willing to put up a friendly fight with you.

Because right now, he had a mission  — one he’s been striving for since eighteen.

“Ah, fancy I see you here,” Satoru voiced out, coming out from the dark with a hand behind his back, “must’ve been fate that we meet,” he stated with a wink.

Rolling your eyes with a chuckle, turning around to see your boyfriend walking over, “did you run here? Or…” you hummed while looking over to find his Bentley parked on the right, “are you gonna tell me you work here too?”

“Neither,” he shrugged while walking, “just came here to ask a pretty girl out on a date, that’s all,” his voice soft yet enticing as he now stood so closely in front of you. 

“Oh, I’m sorry but I’m actually waiting for my boyfriend,” you looked around, your knees feeling weak when you caught his confident smirk, the sweet scent of his cologne hypnotizing your senses, “have you seen him? He’s really handsome, you know?” you played on.

“You do?” Satoru warmly stated as he gave you the bouquet he was hiding behind his back, his fingers gently resting on your hips as he pulled you in, your dainty heels standing in between his larger dress shoes while he pressed a warm kiss to your cheek, “Bet your handsome boyfriend doesn’t have flowers for you like this, no?”

“He gets them for me all the time,” you took a whiff of the rose and caught sight of the yellow incarnation of hope, “and always picks me up from work even though it drives his secretary insane.”

“Pssh, what a bad boyfriend,” he whispered with his gaze traveling to your lips, “you should totally dump him for me,” he pitched while cupping your face, lips teasing to touch, the slight minty breeze of his breath warming your cheeks, as he slowly closed the impending gap between you two, 

“what do you say, sweetheart? Give me a chance and I’ll treat you to more than just coffee for our date tonight.”

note: hope you all enjoyed! it was rather difficult to pull out this piece because I was heartbroken from the last jjk chapter... but all is well now because gojo is healthy and well in the forbes30! universe. this was a headcanon that spiraled into a 6k fic... and hopefully i'll be able to expand on the other hc's i have for him, without breaking the word count rip

[happilykrispypirate]

hello! I was wondering if you could write a Mattheo x sweet! Slytherin reader where the other Slytherins are picking on her because they don't believe she's a Slytherin. And maybe Mattheo saves her and tells her that he likes her.

Mattheo's Girl

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x Sweet!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, minor bullying, and my shitty writing.

A/n: Sorry for the really long wait. School year started three weeks ago and things have been hectic. I'll try to update and write as much as I can but if I don't update in a long time please don't think I'm ignoring your requests! I'll get to them as soon as I can.

-

Y/n, was the sweetest girl in Hogwarts. Many found it hard to believe she was in Slytherin.

She'd never say no to anyone, she'd always offer to help, and there wasn't a single mean bone in her body.

She was walking to class, a little hop in her step as always, when she was that a few of her fellow Slytherins were making fun of Neville. Poor Neville, she thought.

They tripped him causing all of his books to scatter on the floor while they walked away laughing.

Y/n immediately went over and helped him pick his books up.

"Sorry about them," She sighed as she helped him pick his books up.

"I'm used to it," He said which made the girl's heart ache for the boy.

"You shouldn't be. Boys like them are the reason Slytherin have such a bad name," Y/n said as they both stood up. She handed him his books.

"Atleast Slytherin has you to show that not all Slytherins are evil," Neville said smiling at her kindly.

She returned it with a bright and kind smile before saying goodbye to Neville before he walked off.

The Slytherin boys that tripped Neville didn't go far and watched the whole exchange. Giving her nasty and disgusted looks.

When Neville left they walked up to her, "You shouldn't help a pathetic excuse of a wizard like him."

Y/n turned around and faced the towering boys, "You really shouldn't bully people, it's not nice," She replied.

The boys laughed, "You're also a fucking pathetic excuse of a witch. You don't belong in Slytherin."

"I'm sorry that you think that," Y/n said, "I have to get to class. Good day to you."

She turned on her heels and walked as fast as she could, completely ignoring the calls from the boys.

Mattheo glared at the boys who were making rude remarks about Y/n as she walked away. His jaw clenched, how could anyone ever want to heart an angel like her?

-

In the common room, Mattheo and the rest of the boys in his friend group sat comfortably on the sofas. Pansy and Y/n were at the table.

Pansy was struggling in Astronomy so Y/n offered to help her.

"This stuff doesn't make sense," Pansy said sighing as she placed her head in her hands, "I'm fucking over it."

"No need to swear," Y/n said, "You just have to simplify it for yourself. Try to remember the constellations with riddles that you make up for yourself. Example, my very easy method just speeds up nothing, My is Mercury, Very is Venus, Easy is Earth and then you should know the rest."

Pansy nodded and went quiet for a moment, thinking. "Oh! I got one. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Major is Big so Great Bear and Minor is small so Little Bear."

Y/n smiled brightly, "That's one of the easiest ones but yes! You got it."

"Thank you, N/n. I don't know what I'd do without you," Pansy smiled as she leaned over and hugged Y/n.

"You're welcome, Pans. We can continue tomorrow night. I think we both need a rest," Y/n said. They packed Pansy's stuff and Pansy went to sit with the boys while Y/n took the books over to the bookshelves that were in the common room.

The boys from earlier came up behind her, "Studying hard to make up for you being a pathetic Slytherin?" One said.

"You can't cancel out the fact that you're pathetic by getting good grades you know," The other one said.

"Trying to get good grades is not an excuse to 'make up' or as you boys say to 'cancel out' anything. I'm simply determined to succeed in life. If you boys are struggling with anything. I could always tutor you," She said and they burst out laughing.

Their laughter caught his eye. His eyes immediately darkened and his demeanor changed.

"Oh I don't like that look," Enzo said as he saw the look on Mattheo's face.

Enzo turned and saw Y/n with the boys, "Oh, I see."

"They've been bothering her. Calling her names behind her back and telling her she's pathetic when she helped Neville the other day," Pansy said, "She told me about it and said it doesn't bother her, but I can hear her cry at night."

"This has to stop," Theo said.

"It will," Mattheo said as he stood up and walked over to them.

"You don't deserve to be in Slytherin you good for nothing little bi-" The one started before he was grabbed by the collar and slammed against the wall.

"You say one more thing to her, or come near her ever again, I will fuck you up," Mattheo spat in his face.

"Mattheo, stop," Y/n said trying to pull him off. Tears were threatening to fall. Things were getting too overwhelming.

"Oh yeah? Is that it?" The boy mocked, "You're not gonna kill me? Not a daddy's boy after all."

Mattheo's fist came flying into the boy's jaw. Soon enough the other boy's joined in, resulting in Theo, Enzo, Blaise and Draco to join in.

The tears ran down Y/n's cheeks as she fled the scene. Pansy trying to follow her but she lost her.

-

Y/n walked back to the common room later that night. She spent her time in the Room of Requirement, crying and trying to calm herself down.

It worked, but one tiny thing might set her off. Like the fact that Mattheo has been waiting for her the whole night long in the common room.

She bit her tongue, trying not to cry, "Where have you been?" Mattheo asked as soon as he saw her. He stood up and walked over to her, "Are you alright?"

Y/n looked at him and saw the bruises on his face along with the spots of blood.

"I'm fine, come on, let's go clean you up," She said as she pulled him to the nearest bathroom which is the bathroom in her and Pansy's shared dorm.

She made him sit on the edge of the bath as she took out a rag and put it under the running tap.

"Why did you run away?" Mattheo asked as she was cleaning his face.

"Everything got too much to handle," She replied, "You didn't have to do that. I can handle them."

"I can't," Mattheo said.

Y/n halted her movements and looked at him. He looked up and made eye contact, "What do you mean?"

"I can't handle them hurting you. I can't handle you crying yourself to sleep at night over them hurting you," He said.

She sighed, "Pansy?" Mattheo nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"I didn't want to bother you," She said.

"You never bother me," He replied as he stood up. He looked down at her, their faces mere inches apart.

Mattheo leaned down and Y/n stood on her toes just before their lips met. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he placed his hands on her hips.

They pulled apart after a few moments, lips still brushing against each other.

"I will never let anyone hurt you again. As long as you're mine, even after you're not, which by the way will never happen, no one will ever hurt you," He said.

She smiled sweetly up at him, "Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?"

Mattheo smiled, "Yes, it is," He said.

"Well, then I accept," She said.

Mattheo's smile only widened before he placed his lips on hers again.

He'll keep his promise.

No one, will hurt her ever again.

[httpswritings]

@alexiaps94 has liked your profile — Alexia Putellas x Reader

Word count: around 648

Warnings: none

Summary: You and Alexia match on an exclusive dating app.

“@alexiaps94 has liked your profile”

That was first notification you saw when you first checked your phone in the morning, still half asleep.

Some days ago, you signed up on Like.ly, an app similar to Tinder but extremely exclusive. The app was directed to wealthy people and reputed celebrities. You had to e-mail the company and wait if they accepted you on the company. If you were, you had to go through an interview where they'll ask you all types of questions, as the company itself would look for some potential matches to get you started. They did not succeed to your liking. They matched you with all sort of celebrities, but nobody properly caught your eye. 

You weren't a football fan, but you knew who Alexia was because of the expectation she woke up when she won her second Ballon D'Or and when Spain won the World Cup, as the press talked non-stop about the different problems with the federation, especially about the incident during the final. 

You clicked on her profile. Her profile pic was a picture with her dog, Nala. She had more pictures uploaded; you could see her with her family, her friends, her team and by herself. You scrolled down to the “About Me” paragraph.

“Hi! My name is Alexia. I like playing football, spending time with my family and learning new things. 😃”

“Cute”, you thought. You hesitated about what your next move should be. You liked her profile but decided to not write her yet. 

“Hi. I saw your profile some days ago and you seem lovely. I'd love to hear from you”. You hated the way you wrote that text. “Y/N, you want to get to know her as a friend, maybe as something more, this is not a business meeting”, you said to yourself. Your text was fine, you were only overreacting. If you knew they way Alexia reacted to your text, you'd feel more than accomplished with yourself.

“Hi, Y/N. Thank you! You seem really lovely too. I'm seeing that you have four cats! Wow, that's some good company. I think a get along better with dogs because I've been around them my whole life, but the cat life sounds fun too. 😸”

You chuckled as you read her message. “She's indeed very lovely”, you thought. 

“Yeah, so damn crazy, but it's quite fun😸😹” You had never used those emojis. Weird. Adorable but weird.

As you kept talking during the week with Alexia, you got to know her better. She told you about the passing of her dog, Nala, and how bad that affected her. You told each other about your life: family, friends, place of work. She even taught you a little bit of football, and you were so entertained you couldn't quite believe it, as you never showed any interested in football except for some random matches of the men's world cup. You started to educate yourself in women's football.

“Can I call you?”, was the message you received from her on a Saturday night. You had spent the whole day rotting on your sofa and talking to Alexia until your eyes started to feel really heavy. As she called you, and you responded, you started to breath uncontrollably rapid but at the same time, you felt so comfortable listening to her. Alexia's voice was soft, and her laugh sounded so delicate, you felt butterflies in your stomach every time you made her laugh.

“It was nice talking to you, Ale, but we both need some rest, especially you. You have training tomorrow.”

“... I liked hearing you calling me Ale”

“I like hearing you, Ale.”

“God, are you always this flirty?”

“Not in person. I'll have to be a little bit tougher when I'll have you in front of me.”

“No, don't be. I'm pretty sure I'd love the timid version of you. I can't wait to see it.”

[kar1nsworldx]

Nerdy bloke ♡

pairing: ArthurTV x f!reader

Instagram!AU

SUMMARY: hard launching/soft launching(?) yours and Arthurs relationship - y/n used for reader as i thought it was stupid to just call her 'username' :)

requested: nope </3 but requests r opened for other youtubers (sidemen, chrismd, willne, calfreezy, etc.) as well for wolverine & deadpool PLEASE SEND REQUESTS

ˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 🧸ྀི

ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩

arthurtv

liked by y/n l/n, georgeclarkeey and 52,632 others

arthurtv: 🏂

tagged: @y/n l/n @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey @chrismd @wroetoshaw

.

COMMENTS;

user007: arthur is the kind of guy to tag himself in his own post

y/n l/n: yeah it's bc hes a weirdo

y/n l/n: arthur i hate you, kys

arthurtv: :(

us3r: LMAOOOOOO

wroetoshaw: outrages

userly: love to see this group together <3

user777: THE SECOND PIC OF Y/N FALLING???????

usermybeloved: the third pic of Y/N is so cute wtf?????

Tap to load more...

.

y/n l/n

liked by miniminter, chrismd10 and 42,632 others

y/n l/n: almost died 2day because of these fuckers 🤦‍♀️

tagged: @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey @chrismd @wroetoshaw

.

COMMENTS;

georgeclarkeey: we were so close to killing her lads, im sure we'll succeed next time

y/n l/n: fucking hate you clarke

chrismd10: did you really have to post the fifth picture???

y/n l/n: yes ofc xx

arthurtv: that first picture is really pretty, I wonder who photographed it?

y/n l/n: ah yes, my apologies mr.television, heres your photo creds for one single fucking picture 🤲 xx

arthurtv: ty darling

userxo: DARLING????

userumy: UMMMM EXCUSE ME 👀👀👀

wroetoshaw: you did not almost die calm down

y/n l/n: WTF DO YOU MEAN I DIDNT ALMOST DIE???? YOU AND ARTHUR ALMOST DROPPED ME IN THE 3RD PICTURE MATE

usermybeloved: HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

arthurtv: sorry doll x

y/n l/n: buy me hot chocolate and i'll forgive you

arthurtv: yes ma'am

xeuserxe: DOLL??? MA'AM????? SIR WHAT

user111: LMAOOOO SHE HAS HIM WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER SJFBNCNF

freyanightingale: looking stunning girly xxx

y/n l/n: FREYA MY WIFE ILY!!!!!!

freyanightingale: ❣️❣️❣️

xeuserxe: whos that w you on the fourth photo??

y/n l/n: 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

xeuserxe: hmm...

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savinggracepod

liked by userly, y/n l/n and 15,672 others

savinggracepod: Can you guees who's on tomorrow's pod? 👀😘

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y/n l/n: can't wait to see!!

savinggracepod: cheeky x

userly: MISS @y/n l/n COME HERE

xeuserxe: AHHH cant wait!! Xxx

user007: ❣️❣️❣️

user777: this is going to be good!

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y/n l/n

liked by savinggracepod, userly and 21,652 others

y/n l/n: was my pleasure to be on the @savinggracepod!!! loved talking about crushes 🤭, social media and so much more! GO CHECK OUT THE PODCAST RNN!!!! new yt video coming out in 2 days xx

tagged: @savinggracepod

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COMMENTS;

savinggracepod: was a pleasure to have you!! xx

y/n l/n: 💌💌💌

usermybeloved: cant wait for the new vid! :)

arthurtv: your new vid is bomb, can confirm

y/n l/n: :)

xouserxo: what editing program do you use?

y/n l/n: final cut pro x :)

xouserxo: tysm!!!

user007: i'm intrested in who this crush is...

y/n l/n: 🤭🤭🤭

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y/n l/n

liked by arthurtv, zerkaa and 68,752 others

y/n l/n: @sabrinacarpenter i love you please marry me 💍 also photo creds to mr. television @arthurtv for the 5th pic x

tagged: @sabrinacarpenter @arthurtv @arthurnfhill @chrismd10 @georgeclarkeey

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COMMENTS;

arthurtv: can we get married if sabrina says no 💍?

y/n l/n: ya ofc xx

arthurtv: yay x

userly: OH?????

user777: WHAT

usermybeloved: DO YQLL SEE THIS!?!??!?!????

chrismd10: @arthurtv I better be your best man

georgeclarkeey: your obbsession with her is concerning

y/n l/n: "please please please" shut the fuck upppppp!!!! Xxx

georgeclarkey: rude :/

user007: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

us3r: y/n is an icon

behzingagram: you ditched a sidemen shooting for a concert.. great

y/n l/n: okay so maybe I wasnt sick... whoops! 🤷‍♀️ xxx I'll be there next week ♡

behzingagram: you better be you bitch

y/n l/n: oh shut up you fat prick

usermybeloved: LOVE THEM SJFNNCNCC

user111: 💀💀💀

arthurtv: thank you for the photo creds doll

y/n l/n: yea yea ur welcome xx

arthurtv: :)

us3r: 'DOLL' ?????????????

ooouserooo: ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?????

useredup: "mr. television" just say yall r togetger atp

y/n l/n: nuh uh

useredup: FUCK YOU MEAN NUH UH?????

chrismd10: you were so wasted after this lol

y/n l/n: literally was not idk what ur talking about 🙄

chrismd10: arthur literally had to carry you bridal style because you were falling every 2 minutes

y/n l/n: I just wanted to be carried stfu

arthurtv: next time just ask doll, you dont have to almost brake your neck for me to carry you

y/n l/n: ay bet 💪🤭

user505: NAH WHAT

userly: THIS IS INSANE???????????!????????

user007: EXCUSE ME???? SHE WAS CARRIED BRIDAL STYLE BY ARTHUR???? "DOLL"????? "I WANTED TO BE CARRIED"????????? I AM GOING INSANE WHAT THE FUCK???? THE EMONJI COMBO TOO????? AAAAAAAH

taliamar: looking good x

y/n l/n: says you! xxx

faithlouisak: fit

y/n l/n: ❣️❣️❣️

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y/n l/n

liked by arthurtv, stephen_tries and 72,637 others

y/n l/n: date night was a blast w this nerdy bloke <3

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COMMENTS;

arthurtv: did you enjoy yourself doll?

y/n l/n: oh most certantly mr. television

userly: EXCUSE ME WHAT

useredup: WHAT IS HAPPENING

user007: ARTHUR X Y/N DATING CONFIRMED??????????!??????????

user111: LITERALLY GOING INSANE AND FERAL IF THIS ISNT FUCKING ARTHUR AND Y/N TOGETHER IN THOSE PHOTOS I AM GOING TO MURDER SOMEBODY AND THEN MYSELF TOO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

y/n l/n: please don't murder somebody! or yourself! and if youre going feral pls check that you dont have rabbies!! xxx much love (:

user111: NOW IM GOING CRAZY BECAUSE YOU REPLIED TO HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ksi: the flowers are pathetically cute

arthurtv: shut up

us3r: OH???????

usermybeloved: SCREAAAAMING

user505: ARTHUR THOSE FLOWERS BETTER BE FROM YOU

geenelly: cuties ♡♡♡

y/n l/n: says you! xx

bambinobecky: happines is a good luck on you girly! xxx

y/n l/n: stfu ur to kind 🫂🫂

chrismd10: about damn time

y/n l/n: oh shut up you inbred twat

taliamar: hope you guys enjoyed the resturant!

y/n l/n: YESSS we did!! double date soon? 👀🤭

taliamar: yess x

freyanightingale: the little bows are so cute 🎀

y/n l/n: RIGHT?????? ♡♡♡

user505: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP DYING

georgeclarkeey: disgusting (said with love)

y/n l/n: literally die (said with love)

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y/n l/n & arthurtv

liked by vikkstagram, tobjizzle and 120,321 others

y/n l/n: IT IS FINALLY TIME!!!!!! NOT ONLY TO ANNOUNCE ARTHURS AND MINES RELATIONSHIP BUT TO ALSO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR!!!!!!! Arthur, Arthur, Arthur, where to start? Well first of all I'd like to wish you a happy 28th birthday my love! I geniuenly hope you enjoyed it, that you liked all of the gifts and that you enjoyed your birthday with the people you love and who love you too! There are not enough words in the english language to describe how wonderful you are, and how much I love you. You're the kindest, most smartest and funniest person I know, with the goofiest smile and silliyest ideas too. The way you care for others and how you always try to include people and help everyone around you makes my love you even more. Arthur you're the Deadpool to my Wolverine, the Sun to my Moon, the fucking love of my life. I love you to fucking death Arthur. Thank you for everything you've given me, and once more I wish you a very very happy birthday my love.

tagged: @arthurtv

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COMMENTS;

arthurtv: Y/n youre making me cry and the guys are laughing this is not funny :( also i love you too ❤

y/n l/n: ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

tobjizzle: happy birthday man! 🫂 so happy for you guys 😇

ksi: happy bday 💪💪💪also congrats too

vikkstagram: 🌟🫂

stephen_tries: hes crying a river y/n

freyanightingale: AHHHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET!!!

wroetoshaw: atp that mans drink will become pure water with how much tears are falling into it

behzingagram: sap

y/n l/n: shut the fuck up

taliamar: 🫂🫂🫂

miniminter: happy for you guys, and happy birthday arthur!

bambinobecky: SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS AAA!!!! Happy birthday!

faithlouisak: 🫂🫂

geenelly: HDHCJCJCJC SO HAPPY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR

arthurnfhill: y/n my shirt is soaking wet make the man stop crying

callux: did not expect to see arthur cry 😭

calfreezy: best couple in 2024??? 👀👀

y/n l/n: YESSIR

theburntchip: y/n get that man some tissues pls

user111: MOM AND DAD ARE FINALLY TOGETHER AAAAAAAA

user505: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP DYING THIS IS REAL THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL

user777: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR OHMYGOD

us3r: FIANALLY!!!!!!

useredup: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!! HAPPY BDAY ARTHUR!!!!

usermybeloved: FUCK YEAAAAAH!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🗣🗣🗣

xeuserxe: HELL YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH BABY

xouserxo: ❣️❣️🫂🫂

user007: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR!!! 🎉🎉🎉

user707: FUCK YEWAAAH!!!! ALSO THE COMMENTS SAYING THAT ARTHUR IS CRYING????? HDNDJCJJC I LIVE YALL HAPPY BDAY ARTHUR!!!!!

us3r: JDNFJCJC LOVE ALL THE SHIRTLESS PICS 😭😭😭😭

userly: DIDOWJCJDHCHHC THE FIRST PIC IS SO FUNNY TO ME JDNDJCJ HAPPY BDAY AND CONGRATS!!!!

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y/n l/n added to their story!

⤷ arthurtv liked y/n l/n's story! ♡

⤷ arthurtv: love you 2 (:

.

[nonotnolan]

The Ends Justify The Means

As always, this February story is dedicated to my valentine, @mergeman

"Okay, but did we have to add him to the Hivemind?" Jordan said, looking at his unconscious boss with a look of resigned disappointment. "If I end up with an old man's vocabulary because of him, I'm gonna be so upset. This body looks too good to sound like a geezer." He tossed his shirt to the ground and gave me a flex. "See what I mean?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Some humans stress-tested my 40% Free Will rule, and Jordan was definitely one of them. "One, bringing him into the Collective is the only way to bend his authority to our will. Two, the symbiote doesn't change our speech, it just enhances our knowledge. And three, the eventual goal is to overtake most of humanity anyway. We were gonna have to add Shaun sooner or later."

Jordan nodded, though I doubted he was paying any attention me. He was one of the part-time workers I had converted within the past two hours, and so his symbiote half was still checking out his new body. I can't blame it, I suppose.

I wasn't sure this plan was even going to work, so I was glad we managed to succeed. Capturing the part-time college students who worked here had been easy-- a bit of flirting from a tempting body, a kiss to introduce the symbiote, rinse and repeat. Shaun had been much more difficult. We had to resort to ambushing him in the bathroom where there we no cameras. Jordan's strength held him in place while I pried open his jaw to insert the new symbiote. It was far from elegant-- Shaun was stronger than he looked-- but at least it worked.

Shaun finally opened his eyes, and looked at me with a wry grin. "Alright, sir. I know we have a lot to talk about, but let's retreat somewhere else, shall we? It's cramped in here, and I think Jordan is a few moments away from whipping his dick out."

"You're not wrong," I said, shaking my head. "We should probably leave him to it. If nothing else, it will be nice to talk things over someplace a bit... less pungent. I assume you know what is going to be expected of you?"

"I do," Shaun says, crossing his arms. "Although I was hoping to talk to you about that one. I scheduled Darren to work Valentine's Day because I haven't had that day off for the past three years. This body's wife is threatening to make life miserable if I still have to work the holiday despite my recent promotion. I have a proposal for you."

I smiled at the audacity of this symbiote. Clearly its host body had a lot of confidence.

"Darren will still get the day off, of course," Shaun said. "But instead of working the day myself, I'll just tell Jenn that she's going to have to handle the shift solo. We don't need two store managers tomorrow night-- no one goes furniture shopping on Valentine's."

----------------------------------------------

"You'll never guess what happened today!" Darren said, greeting me when I arrived home. He and I had been dating for a few weeks now, ever since I was granted control over this host body. Unlike the symbiotes who were mostly extensions of my mind and my personality, I had full control and full autonomy over my decisions. Coming out of the closet was one of the first changes I made to this host's former life.

"Your store is actually closing for a holiday?" I guessed, walking up to him and hugging him from behind. I held him close, feeling the heat of his body against my borrowed chest. Humans were very big on physical contact, and it was a ritual I was more than happy to join.

Darren chuckled as he turned around for a quick kiss. "Okay, so it wasn't a miracle. But it was still pretty crazy! Shaun texted me, and approved my vacation time for tomorrow. Can you believe that? I've never known him to change his mind like that before."

I just smiled at him. "Maybe your District Manager yelled at him about it? You did submit that request a few months ago." As much as I hated feeding white lies and omitted facts to my boyfriend, I couldn't justify telling him my full truth this early in the relationship. Anyway, the only way I'd be filling him with a symbiote would be if we broke up and he posed a risk to my secret. I wanted a relationship with an equal, not a masturbatory fling with a clone of myself. Anyway, what was the phrase? The ends justify the means.

"Well, maybe." He paused a few minutes to consider this possibility before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just glad you kept those dinner reservations! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's date!" He smiled, and I could feel my heart melting. I would do anything in my power to make him happy.

[moth-basement]

𝗹𝗶𝗹' 𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝘂𝗱𝗲 🧽

An ask meme with a bunch of lines from my favorite Spongebob episodes. This isn't meant to be too serious, I just really love spongebob and haven't seen an ask meme for it.

"I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo."

"Wumbology! the study of wumbo!"

"AND THEN THERE'S A GIANT FIST!!"

"Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets."

"He was number one!"

"Well, it may be stupid, but it's also dumb."

"I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charms. Indoors! Indoors! Indoors!"

"Oh boy! Holographic meatloaf! My favorite!"

"And what's better than serving up smiles!?"

"Being dead, or anything else."

"See, no one says 'cool' anymore. That's such an old-person thing. Now we say 'coral', as in 'That nose job is so coral.'"

"Long, tan, *licks teeth* Handsome"

"Are they laughing at us? No, they are laughing next to us."

"Excuse me sir I hope my horrible ugliness doesn't distract you from the movie."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud!"

"Oh these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory.... a bomb factory."

"the boy made you a sweater of his own tears, and you kill him."

"goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy!"

"I order the food, you cook the food, the customer eats the food. We do that for forty years, and then we die."

"you're good, you're good, you're good, aaaaand stop."

"Don't worry captain we'll buff those scratches out."

"All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original."

"We're not cavemen! We have technology" *smashes the computer*

"Hey pal, you just blow in from stupid town?"

"You used me....for LAND DEVELOPMENT! That wasnt very nice!"

“This isn’t your average every day darkness. This is....ADVANCED darkness”

“Assertive, not insertive, ya twit!”

*sticks finger in pocket* "beep beep"

"He's just standing there..... MENACINGLY!"

"don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"

"What is today but yesterday's tomorrow?"

“I will dismantle this oppressive establishment BOARD BY BOARD!”

"Well maybe we would sound better if some people didn't play with BIG MEATY CLAWS"

"Oh good luck out there. I hope the audience brings lots of ibuprofen."

"You won't catch me when I shift into maximum overdrive!!"

"It's not just a boulder! It's a rock!"

"shut your mouth you mediocre clarinet player."

 “You don’t pay me. We don’t even exist! We’re just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.”

"I only know fine dining and breathing."

"oh you mean like a weenie? MaY I TaKe YoUr hAt Sir?"

"the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."

"Can I be excused for the rest of my life?"

"You mean you've never heard the story of the... hash-slinging slasher?"

"The sash wringing... the trash thinging... mash flinging... the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the..."

"And then the walls will ooze green slime!? Oh wait they always do that."

"You know, if I were to die right now in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend well, that would just be okay."

“C’mon you lazy Mary, start rubbing me with that chocolate!”

"East? I thought you said weast?"

“We’ve been smeckledorfed!”

"Whatever doesn't kill you, usually succeeds in the second attempt."

[lonelychicago]

tagged by the lovelies @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @wikiangela @underwater-ninja-13 @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @loveyouanyway @exhuastedpigeon 💗

this is from buck is an idiot fic im writing rn <33 i wanted to finish it today and post but its not looking good so im probably gonna post tomorrow.

Just then, before a full protest can fall from Buck's lips, ‘Cowboy Take Me Away’ by The Chicks starts blasting through the ambulance, filling the space with the cheesy tune.

Buck's cheeks flush and he sits up a little straighter, stifling an embarrassing whimper as he reaches his hand out and makes a grabbing gesture with his fingers.

“That's, uh— my phone. Can you hand it over?”

“We need to take you to a hospital. And clean your wound. And—”

“Just give me my damn phone, man.” Buck most definitely does not whine.

Pain is still washing over him in waves and his abdomen feels like it's burning from inside out— although the intensity of it is slowly, oh so slowly, fading away as the seconds pass. Or maybe the blood loss is making Buck too dizzy and weak to notice. Whatever.

When Adams reluctantly passes the phone over, Buck takes a deep breath before answering, only hissing a little when the slight movement makes the gash in his abdomen sting with a sharp pinch.

His thumb shakes and it takes him a couple of tries before he finally answers the call, just as its about to send Eddie to voicemail.

“Hey, man. What's up?”

Buck tries to make his voice sound calmed and unbothered, casual— and he thinks he mostly succeeds if the paramedics' annoyed and unamused stares are anything to go by.

“Hey, Buck. Are you busy right now?” Eddie's voice sounds strained and has an edge to it, that immediately has Buck frowning with worry and concern.

“Uh,” Buck looks down at his exposed abdomen where blood is still, even if slow and thin, gushing out of his wound. The skin around it looking red and… not good at all. “Nah, man. I'm not doing anything, why? Is Chris okay?”

“He's fine. We're fine.” Eddie sighs and Buck can picture the man pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration so well that it's like he's right in front of Eddie, watching him instead of just on the phone with him. “He's just really testing my patience today. Turns out there's a bake sale at his school tomorrow for a trip? And he has to take fifty cupcakes.”

“Ah,” Buck nodes. ignoring Miller and Adam's raised eyebrows. “Say no more. I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“You're panting. Are you sure you're not busy?”

“I went for a run, but it's okay. I'm done with it anyway.”

“Oh,” Buck can't be sure, but Eddie sounds… disappointed? But then he's talking again, and Buck pushes that little moment to the back of his mind. “Can you swing by the grocery store too? We need ingredients.”

Buck looks down at his wound one more time and sighs. “Sure. I can totally do that.”

“Thanks, man. See you in a bit?”

“Yeah, see you soon.”

tagging @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @buddierights @hoodie-buck @tizniz @wildlife4life @bigfootsmom @rogerzsteven @father-salmon @giddyupbuck @devirnis @sunshinediaz @the-likesofus @spaceprincessem @disasterbuckdiaz @heartshapedvows @athenagranted @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @evanbegins @gayedmundodiaz @excuseme-greentea @messyhairdiaz @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else who wants to do it <3333

[delulu-baddie]

Remember, I love you.

Angel Reese x Reader

(FLUFF)

Summary: You start to feel down about your girlfriend leaving to play in the WNBA, but she reminds you of her love for you.

A/N: This is my first story and it was a request, I could use some more ideas so send them in if you have any :)

Words can’t even describe how proud of Angel you were, however a part of you was dreading the near future. She had just finished playing her final game in her collegiate career due to fouling out, and while it wasn't the outcome she wanted, there's no denying that she put her all out there tonight. These past two weeks have been stressful and busy, now that it's all over you just wanted to go back to your apartment in Baton Rouge and relax with your girlfriend.

While she hadn’t announced it to the public yet, you know that she plans to declare for the draft in the next few days, and you weren't too sure how you felt about it. Of course you're happy for her and want her to succeed in life, but the selfish part of you wants her to be there until you finish school next year as well. The whole idea of her moving somewhere else in the country where you couldn't see her everyday made you kind of depressed and it's been showing these past few days in your attitude.

You waited a few minutes after the game had ended to go and meet your girlfriend in the locker room to give her and her teammates some time to reconcile after the turnout of tonight's game and do their media interviews. In the meantime you make your way down to the court to go and congratulate some of your friends on the Hawkeye team. You make eye contact with your good friends Kate and Jada immediately running up to them and giving them hugs as it's been a while since the last time you had seen them. “You guys did so well tonight, congratulations!” you told them with a smile. “Thank you, but your girlfriend and her teammates surely didn’t go easy on us tonight.” Kate responded with a light chuckle. This was definitely a bittersweet moment but at the end of the day you had a lot of love for all of these girls so the outcome was bound to be disappointing in some way. 

Jada could sense that something was off and quickly asked you what was wrong. “I think tonight just made me realize that my relationship with Angel is about to have a drastic change and I'm not sure how to feel about it” you replied slowly starting to tear up. “Hey it's okay sweetie” Jada said pulling you into another hug “Have you guys talked about what your plans are when she gets drafted?” she continued. Sure Angel has not formally addressed the fact of her drafting, but it was pretty much guaranteed so you didn't question Jadas assumption of that. You reply with a quick ‘no’, gaining a response from Kate that maybe now is a good time to bring it up giving you a sad smile. “Thank you Kate, but i really don't want to bring down your moods, go celebrate with the rest of your team, i'll catch up with you guys later!” you said giving them a quick hug before saying goodbye and heading to comfort your girlfriend.

You walk into the locker room and you're met with an obviously upset Angel and instantly go to comfort her. “Hey baby” you say, wrapping your arms around her and kissing her forehead, instantly cheering her up. She had always had a soft spot for you and no matter how upset she was, just being next was all she needed to gain a sense of happiness again. “Are you ready to head back to the hotel, we have a long day of traveling tomorrow, so you should get some rest” you told her, causing her to stand up and start grabbing her stuff to head out. She still hadn’t said anything yet but you didn’t want to push her so you just let it be and headed out walking hand in hand with her. 

Once you guys arrived back at the hotel and got settled down you decided to try and talk to her again hoping to get some sort of response. “I'm so proud of you babe, I know it hurts to end everything like this, but look on the bright side you have so much more to look forward to” you said smiling at her. “I know, I’ve just been under so much pressure this past season to defend our title from last year, and we’ve been working so hard I just wanted to end this season with a bang.” she started “I mean i'm proud of how far we got and everything, but winning last year brought so much hate towards not only me but my whole team and I just wanted to prove all of those haters wrong and regain my happiness.” she said, quickly noticing your instant mood change after she finished. “What's wrong?” she asked instantly. You started tearing up again before responding “nothing, it just hurts me to see you hurting so much, to see everything that you've gone through this past year, and just knowing that I won't be able to be there all the time to comfort you when your hurting after you leave to wherever you end up getting drafted” you responded. You hadn't planned on bringing up the conversation this early, but with the draft being in two weeks you figured it would be better to get the conversation going before it was too late. She grabs your face and gives you a quick kiss, “ Y/N, there's nothing for you for you to worry about, I know that wherever we are whether that be together or apart you will always be rooting for me and you are always a call away, sure it's not ideal but you're my number one and i'm yours”  she smiled at you giving you another kiss that was more passionate than the first before urging you to lay down to cuddle and go to bed. 

She wraps her arms around you and you slowly begin to fall asleep, she kisses you one last time on your head and quietly whispers “remember, I love you” pulling you closer and falling asleep. 

[dark-side-blog3]

Ignore that this Home Alone inspired poly adeuce fic is a month late. Or choose to read it for 2024 Christmas, up to you.

I had a lot of fun writing this! Put it into a word counter just for fun, and I'm surprised to see that my first real WIP I finished in 2024 is 3k long! It was just so fun to imagine a twist one of my favourite Christmas movies, and I got so caught up in the fun of it I didn't make my deadline ^^; It was originally meant to be a short little crackfic, but it was just too fun! There are some cracky, campy elements, but that's just in the spirit of the movie I based it off!

Anyways: MDNI, warnings for standard yandere things, and creepy crawlies.

++++++++++++++++++++++

"Shouldn't we be pouring salt on the pathway?"

"Nah," you smile, splashing another bucket of water on the front steps. "This is so we can have a nice slip-and-slide for tobogganing tomorrow, Grim! Same reason I'm filling up a little ice rink in the back-- I wanna do some skating. I can't wait for it to freeze over and teach you how!"

Grims' head shakes fervently as he beams; "Just you wait! I'll show you the grace and speed of a master figure skater! I'm gonna be teaching YOU how to skate by the time we're done!"

"Well if you wanna do that, you're gonna need to be well rested. Can you grab us some cookies for before-bed snacks?" you encourage, the monster agreeing and scampering off inside the dorm house to pilfer the cupboard.

You continue pouring water on the steps and trudge around the house's perimeter to check on the steps leading outside to make sure they're freezing over like you intended. You have several other home security measures to check over...

Most of the staff, and students for that matter, went home for the holidays. Family to see, vacations to take... A life to live outside of the school and other people in it. Should anything happen, Crowley was unfortunately unavailable (what else is new, the old bastard), nor was Vargas, Trein, or Crewl. Normally they'd be spattered throughout the holiday to watch over the students. But there are other teachers on the premises, and hardly any students who can't return home for whatever reason, and they let it slip by... One night during the whole winter break when none of your trusted faculty members nor any of your more powerful friends like Malleus or Idia could help if you got into trouble.

And maybe, maybe your brain has been rotted by movies and defending yourself from overblotted students.

But it's better safe than sorry.

With everything seemingly in order, and the sun setting quickly behind the treeline of school woods, you rush over to the front gate to hang a large sign:

NO SOLICITORS

Hopefully, this will deter anyone planning to intrude on you tonight.

You trudge your way back to the front door, carefully avoiding the steps. You spend the next few hours snacking with Grim while watching movies together, playing card games, and chattering about what ifs and would you rather... Before too long, it's time for bed, and Grim is out like a light, thanks to several pounds of turkey stuffing, potatoes, and cookies you still had after the holiday party days ago.

The party was fun... It did leave you with more leftovers you knew what to do with, which is always great. You got to wish Rook Joyeuses Fête, decorate cookies with Jack and Jade (the merman being much better at decorating, likely due to working in the lounge), and say goodbye to everyone dear to you before they left for their own plans... But it also had Ace and Deuce.

Which, on the one hand, they're harmless. You know they are. They're just jerks sometimes.

They should be focusing on their studies, and you had to devote your time to keeping Ramshakle clean, and Grim on task to graduate... The little monster became somewhat of a family member. Surrogate son or little brother you're not entirely sure, but you want him to succeed.

And even if the pair of heartslabyul boys were gifted students that excelled at every course with time to spare, Grim wasn't-- Grim needed your help to study, to get to class, to handle some of his projects for him when his paws would cause accidents in the potion lab. Grim needs your help to get through college, and it keeps you way too busy for a relationship with either guy.

And even though they soured the mood of the party right after you told them as such, it's the truth, and that's what it is. You're not going to jeopardize Grim's future just to date college students.

They acted like jerks for the rest of the winter break.

When everyone was opening presents, they bitched at everyone for the gifts they exchanged, teased relentlessly, knocked over decor, and told each classmate going through the magic mirror over the week to 'take their time coming back, if at all'. Poor Idia had an anxiety attack when they started teasing him; it took you half an hour to calm him down enough to stop puking and stick to just dry heaving. Grim scampered off after Idia fainted a second time... It took another hour after that to help him through the magic mirror, with his robot escorts. You would have walked through with him, but he insisted holding your hand as he left would be enough, only dragging you somewhat through the portal.

It was rubbing you the wrong way how they were picking fights with everyone, and snubbing Grim anytime they saw you and the monster around campus.

Suddenly, the front gates screech open, drawing you out of your thoughts. You peek out the sliver of the window from behind the thick curtain in the bedroom to see two figures shuffle through the snow.

It can't be them. Even if you were just thinking of them, that would be too... Convenient. Like some movie logic. Thinking of people doesn't summon them.

Whoever it is will be getting a nasty surprise in three, two, one--

A muffled thud and string of curses can be heard from the other side of the glass. You sneak your way down the stairs so you can at least see who's at the door.

"Son of a--! Grim!" Deuce shouts. So much for not summoning them.

"Open the door, little buddy! We know that you're in there and that you're all alone... Your precious prefect is spending the last night of the winter break with someone else, right?" Ace yells, quickly being joined by a snickering and rapping at the door.

A shadow presses itself against the window, trying to peer through sheer curtains. You duck behind one of the striped couches on the outside of the room, close to the walls. Through the reflection of the glass cabinet, you can see the figure stay and linger at the window, tapping against the glass with a small can.

"Come on Grim. We've got tuna for ya if you just open the door and have a chat..." Deuce says, cupping his hands around his mouth as he yells through the glass.

His shadow straightens up, before pounding back on the glass, rattling the old pane against the tight frame, the narrow strips of wood being tight enough together that neither of them could just force their way through the window; Even if they shattered all the glass.

Which Deuce just might, slamming himself into the frame as hard as he could.

"I saw you move in there! Don't ignore us!" He shatters a pane, shoving his hand through to grab at the sheer curtains and tug, ripping them.

You duck back behind the couch, scanning for tools to protect yourself. Shut up. Don't be stupid, just think. Think quick, and smart.

The banging stops for a second. Before becoming far louder-- powerful enough to feel the floor shake. Metal creaks against its hinges, and the lock crashes into the strike plate of the door.

Ignore that, focus. Cleaning supplies. Always nearby, the dorm is filthy. Dish soap and mop bucket.

You dart out from behind the couch to grab the bottle of dish soap, grabbing it and rolling up against the wall just in time as the banging stops, the door knob jiggles and a thin wire pokes itself out from the cracks between the door frame. It makes quick work of the locks on the door, before opening, and Ace proudly struts into the room. The second he does, you pop the cap and squeeze the bottle, squirting bright blue goop into his eyes and smarmy mouth! And you splurt the floor for good measure!

You sprint back to behind the couch he pulls back, sputtering, and wiping it from his eyes in thick globs. You watch through the reflection of the cabinet as Deuce shoves his way past Ace as he splatters fistfuls of goop onto the floor, next to the bottle of leaking dish soap. Ace shoves Deuce for the push, and the resulting shove has both of them slipping on the puddle of dish soap you left in your hurry.

"Ahg-- Ace?! Why are you on the floor?"

A visibly wet smack as dish soap arches off Ace's gloves, slapping damply right into Deuce's face as he grunts from under his classmate: "Get off me, you buffoon! Go find the cat-- Grim, I'm gonna skin you for this, you little creep!"

"Don't make threats until after we have the little rat, runt. If he goes tattling we're screwed--"

"There's no one to tattle to! He's all alone in this big house! Even the ghosts aren't here! If we stick his claws in an electrical socket or force-feed him motor oil, no one would think anything of it! He's just a dumb animal that killed himself without supervision!"

Something glints from under the couch. You grasp at it, finding a spare ornament, and an unused ziptie, threaded through the top. There's got to be something you can use to create a bigger distraction and get you and Grim out of here.

There has to be something in reach-- going back to the bucket in plain sight of them is too risky. Shoving your hand under the couch, your clutch the first thing that your grasp: An aerosol room freshener. Score.

Wrapping the ziptie around the spray trigger, you tighten it and roll it over to the boys, still scrambling about on the floor. You watch from the reflection in the cabinet as Deuce gets a heavy spray right in the eyes, hollering in pain!

"AUGH-- Fucker! You think you're so smart, punk?! Your little bomb just gave away your position!" Deuce shouts, whipping out his magic pen, covering his eyes.

You feel a sense of dread. Primal instinct. You leap out from behind the couch just as he summons a caldron to crash into the couch, narrowly missing you as it smashes the solid oak to splinters. Splinters stick to your socks, embedding in your feet as you scamper off to another room, streams of water and gusts of wind being shot after you.

Just as you turn the corner to climb up the stairs and rush to Grim's room, you hear Ace curse exasperatedly, stumbling his way to the end of the hall to stare at you, still wiping his eyes on his sleeves. Another string of sighed curses leaves his lips as he watches you scramble up the stairs, making accidental eye-contact.

They know their plans are botched now.

Gotta climb faster.

On all fours, you claw up the stairs, just as a tug on your ankle forces your jaw to slam into them. Casting a glance backwards, Ace has gripped your ankle with his sticky gloves, grinning madly as you struggle to tug your ankle away from him, and try to dodge the other one of his hands trying to grasp for your other leg, only to end up sloppily groping your ass before trying again. You try to shake and kick him off, getting a hits to the side of his head, but not as effective as if you had room to wind up. He's gripping so hard it feels like he's going to break something. You scramble, shifting your weight side to side to get him off, prying yourself off the stairs and scratching your nails into the old wood. Your nails cling to the baseboard, prying the edge as much as you can, the wood creaking and snapping off with each desperate tug to pull yourself up.

The baseboard snaps, and you find yourself with a small wooden shiv, thinking to whip around and stab it into Ace's hand, leading him to retract for a second long enough for you to scramble up a step again-- before being slammed back down into the wood as you're grabbed again.

A girthy, irrate red centipede wiggles its way out from the hole in the baseboard, defensive of the now-ruined home.

You snatch it up, close to the head and the snapping mandibles as it wriggled and writhed, as you slowly reached back around to Ace, still clinging to your legs as you tried to shake him off. The teen was so focused on keeping you still as he pulled some ducttape off the roll with his teeth, that he didn't see the massive, snakelike body of the centipede until it was too late; And you stick it right on his face.

He seemed to freeze, giving you enough time to tug your leg again, just as he screamed an ear-piecing shriek!

Ace pawed at his face squirming violently on the stairs, thumping loudly on each step back to the bottom as you sprinted your way upstairs, into Grims room, slamming and locking the door behind you!

"What the hell is wrong--"

"PSYCHO PREFECT IS WHAT! Is it in my hair? Fucking thing was thick as a finger, and they put it right on my face! Is it in my hair?!"

"The prefect is home?! Dude! We're so screwed!"

"So go up there and get them, dipshit! Why are you standing still when they're up there getting a fucking bear trap or something ready?! Are you having an aneurysm or something?! Why are you just staring at me like that?!"

"...Ace... Don't... Move."

"Deuce... What are you talking about? Go get them-"

"Don't. Move."

"Deuce..?"

The telltale crash of a cast iron cauldron smashing through your rotten wood floors makes you nearly shit yourself, glancing back at a sleep-stirring Grim.

"DID I GET IT?"

"YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY SKULL YOU NUTCASE!"

"DID I GET IT?!"

"You fucking moron!"

You snatch Grim up, using the blanket he was sleeping with like a hobo bag to hold him in, and open the window, edging your way carefully onto the roof. If you can just make safely to the other side of Ramshackle, you can try scaling down the ivy. And it will at least give you a head start-- Maybe hiding out in Sams is the best idea. A store owner must have a CCTV, right? And if Ace and Deuce try and kill either of you, then even if something happens to you, they'll get caught...

You wrap the corners of Grims blanket around your shoulders, like a makeshift baby pouch. You can definitely feel him squirming on your back, starting to wake up. You let go of the window, slipping down the rough roof tile. Laying on your stomach, you side-shuffle over, staying as low to the roof as you can to get the most traction. The edge nearly takes you by surprise when your foot doesn't connect with length that's not there. Slowly, you shuffle even closer to the edge, swaying your arm around the edge to find the vines of Ivy.

"I FOUND 'EM, ACE!"

Your head whips around to see Deuce leaning as far as he can out of the window before he scrambles to get onto the roof.

Whipping your head back to focus, you grab a fistful of vines and pull the rest of your body off the roof! You snatch another fistful with your other hand as you fall.

And fall all the way down, watching in horror as the ivy peels itself from the brick walls.

You feel Grim claw his way out of the pouch and onto your face just in time, as you land on your back with a sickening crunch.

"Oh shit," Ace comments, seemingly having been waiting for you at the bottom of the wall. You see Grim flee across the yard out of the corner of your eye, unable to lift your head.

The sound of snow crunching underfoot, and Deuce panting like crazy soon joins Ace in staring at you as you lay helpless on the ground. As soon as he arrives he gets asked: "Are we gonna get Grim?"

"No point, really..." Comes the huffed response; "We were gonna get him to fuck off, and he's fucked right off. Tonight didn't really go to plan anyway."

A boot gently kicks at your side as Ace turns his attention back to you: "Are you paralyzed or something? That was quite the fall."

You open your mouth to speak, but only a cracked whine makes it out. You cringe and try again, but nothing intelligible comes out.

"Holy shit, they're brain-damaged!" Ace grins, laughing as he backs away from you.

You feel Deuce tugging at your legs in the snow, dragging you from your shallow ditch in the snow. He begins tugging you closer to the dorm, before he drops your legs, moving to grab you under your arms and haul you that way, up against a wall. Breaking a window, he shoves you in, head first. The cold floors of Ramshackle are still warmer than the ice and snow.

"Alright. Hey, real quick, can you feel this?" Deuce begins poking you with a wire from an ornament, starting with your legs, and making his way up on both sides. You nod, wincing at some particularly sharp pricks, to which Deuce responds by rubbing the area to dull the pain.

"Can you say where you are right now? Do you know who I am? Who you are?" You nod again, voice stumbling through a pained response.

"Awesome. You're not brain-damaged! You're probably just winded from the fall. Is anything broken? Can you wiggle your fingers and toes? Try twisting side to side. If you can't it means your spine might be broken, and you need a doctor."

You comply, weirded out by the sudden care, but the doctor comment means they will call someone. And that someone will keep you safe, and them away. The pain's already fading, and likely nothing serious, but you could trick them... Deuce particularly seems like a soft touch. You wince as you try to twist, feigning inability.

Deuce makes a worried expression, like he's about to piss himself from fear.

He backs off slightly, giving you a bit more breathing room: "Try crossing your arms and lifting them as far away from your ribs as you can".

You comply again, feigning difficulty,

And duct tape wraps around your wrists instantly. Deuce presses his knee down into your chest to pin you down as he wraps as tightly as he can, while Ace ties your legs from outside.

"This really, really isn't my style. But we've got to get you somewhere that is not here when the teachers come back tomorrow, and we can't have Grim knowing where to find you." Deuce rambles, soaking his glove in a bottle of something, before pressing it to your face. He continues rambling, leaning in closer to whisper: "And I know how this looks! But I promise we won't do anything to you while you sleep. Or when you wake up! I swear! It's all more normal than it seems tonight-- or it can be anyways. And... And if you give me some time, give me a chance, we can even ditch Ace and forget this night ever happened! You just need some time somewhere else..."

The room spins with dark spots as Deuce presses his soaked glove further into your face. He continues rambling at you, while you feel Ace begin dragging you back out the window again. The snow doesn't feel cold this time as you fall into it. It just feels soft.

[archangeldyke-all]

i was wondering if u could do an angsty lil fucker fic when she gets grounded or shes just been doing a bunch of bold things. (living for these lil fucker and sevika moments)

love this. i'll try my best to make it angsty, but i doubt i'll succeed lol i'm a softie for our fictional daughter hahahaah

men and minors dni

little fucker isn't so little anymore.

she's in her sophomore year of high school, just turned sixteen.

she's in the throes of puberty, her hormones and the endless drama of high school making her emotions unpredictable and erratic.

and you feel for her. you really do. you remember being a kid her age, you remember how miserable you were. but she's taking your sympathy too far, and you're determined to reprimand her for it.

the only problem is, your wife is a total wimp.

"sevika." you sigh, rubbing your temples. "she snuck out, stole the car, and hotboxed it with her neighbor friends. on a fucking school night."

"she didn't steal the car, don't be dramatic!" sevika defends. you scoff.

"you have to drive that car to work tomorrow, you know. you're gonna go in smellin' like a music festival!"

sevika snorts and rolls her eyes, and you reach behind you for the pillow you're lounging on before lobbing it at your wife. she grunts.

"it's not funny!"

"it's a little funny babe. they didn't even drive high! they just sat in our own fuckin' driveway smoking weed." sevika giggles. you chuckle, rolling your eyes and huffing.

"it's three in the morning and we both have to be up at six. you're not even a little pissed?" you ask, flicking the beside lamp off and settling into bed. sevika flops on top of you, nuzzling against your tits.

"sure i am. but what're we gonna do? she did what we always tell her to do-- experiment with drugs at home, don't drive intoxicated, make sure her friends get home safe..."

your groan. sevika's right, you know this deep down. your kid doesn't even know how to drive yet, she just had all her friends walk over and they piled in the backseat to pass a joint around. you don't know how she thought she was gonna get away with it, but it was a little comical watching four kids and approximately six cans of febreeze tumble out of the backseat of your car when you caught them.

"just... can we make her clean the toilets or something?" you ask. sevika chuckles.

"sure. should make her deep-clean the fridge too, there's a bunch of old left overs goin' moldy in there." she mumbles. you chuckle, and sevika kisses your cheek.

just as you're about to drift off to sleep, your bedroom door creaks open. you lift your head up, squinting to make out your daughter's silhouette in the darkness.

"baby?" you mumble. she shuffles over toward the bed.

"...are you mad at me?" she whispers. you groan, and on top of you, sevika chuckles. she gives you a kiss on your cheek, and then she flops off of you, making space between the two of you on the bed.

you reach up and grab your daughter by the shoulders, before tugging her on top of you and into bed between you and sevika.

she bursts into laughter as she flops on top of the two of you, then rearranges herself to get comfortable between you guys.

you turn around to hold her in your arms, and on her other side, sevika does the same.

"you're gonna have some extra chores this weekend, but no. 'm not mad." you promise her, kissing her face

sevika speaks next. "you still high?" she asks.

your kid bursts into giggles, and your heart melts at the sound. really, how could you be mad at her when she's such a cute kid?

"go to sleep." you chuckle. "you got school tomorrow."

"aw, shit." your kid curses. you laugh.

"we love you, you little shit." sevika says.

"love you moms." your daughter whispers. you kiss her head, reach across her waist to grab your wife's hand, then close your eyes. "...can you make me blueberry pancakes in the morning? oooh, and bacon? maybe hashbrowns?" your daughter whispers.

you groan, and sevika bursts into laughter.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

[i-cant-sing]

How is ushijima’s frail kitten doing?

Currently fighting Ushijima tooth and nail to not be given a third serving of his food.

"Y/n, stop this childish behavior and eat. I'm not going to let you starve yourself." Ushijima said, as he tried to grab your plate but you dodged him again.

"Starve? You've filled me to the brim! I'm literally going to puke if I eat another grain of rice!" You yelled, pulling your plate over your head but Ushijima grabbed your wrist and pulled it down, along with the plate.

"You'll eat-"

"You can put whatever you want on that plate, Toshi! But I ain't eating anymore!" You stood up, but Ushijima yanked you by your wrist and pulled you to his lap, his ginormous muscly legs trapping yours, while his hand grabbed both of your hands and pinned them to your stomach.

"Stop being an ungrateful brat. There are children in Africa starving-"

"Then feed them. Isn't it counterproductive if I'm eating more food? What's gonna be left for them? If you do the math, statistically-" you were cut off with a spoonful of mashed potatoes stuffed in your mouth. And before you could spit it out, Ushijima glared at you.

"If you don't swallow that, I swear to god I will make you regret it, Y/n." And you knew his threat was real, from experience. He wasn't playing around.

So you chewed. But you won't be happy while you do it. You'll eat it with attitude, and let him know it.

"You can stop flaring your nostrils, it won't affect me. You're gonna lick this entire plate clean and then you'll go to bed early and tomorrow you'll train with me."

"Why do you even need me to eat this much?"

Ushijima furrowed his brows a bit. "So that you can build muscles. And to build muscles, you need to bulk up." He fed you some sashimi with his chopsticks.

"When I build muscle, I'm gonna beat you up. Maybe I'll spank you for a change." You grumbled as you chewed.

"You can sure as hell try, but you won't succeed." Ushijima hummed, and you could see a small smile on his lips forming.

Yeah, we'll see.

[compassionatereminders]

Hi, how are you? I hope you are okay!

I'm glad you promote radical acceptance when it comes to mental disabilities. I have ADHD and it is exhausting to face constant ableism from everyone, including my family and teachers. I only got diagnosed at 22, maybe because it's less diagnosed in women. I failed in all my classes for the last 2 years straight. I love my family but I wish they could understand how hard I am trying to study and keep up with schoolwork. Everyone thinks I am either lazy or stupid. They see my symptoms and treat me as if I'm some loser.

I'm not lazy. Everyday I tell myself to exercise, study, read a book. It's like I'm mentally paralyzed. I can't make myself move a muscle. I wish people could at least understand how badly I want to be productive. And I am in treatment, and taking medication, but I can't take the dosage I need because the side effects get really strong, or maybe I'm not taking the right meds. I don't know.

And there is always the thought that I probably don't have ADHD, and I'm just lazy. It's what my parents told me so many times. And even to get a diagnosis, I had to go to 4 different people. The first three told me I have depression or anxiety and didn't even consider ADHD a possibility. Anytime I told them the meds are not working, they either upped the dosage or changed the meds or told me to just be patient. I think they also thought that I'm not accurate about my struggles.

I wrote all this because I just wanted to get it off my chest, and nobody around me in real life would understand it if I told them. I'm never going to stop trying to create the life of my dreams. I'm going to try being productive again tomorrow. Even though I failed all the times before. I know nobody will acknowledge my effort, but I'll keep trying.

Anyways, wish me luck to succeed in life! Have a good day!

The thing is, I don't think that people are just "lazy" for no good reason. I think that if you find yourself struggling to cope with life, you have your reasons for this which should never just be dismissed as pure laziness. I think we miss the big picture and reflect ableism when we reduce anyone's struggles to a question of mere laziness. And I don't think we should push that narrative on anyone, ourselves included.

[txttletale]

bundletober #11: locum tendons

i really need to stop getting these up so late. god. tomorrow ill have my bundletober done at a regular time i've just had a weird day. anyway locum tendons is a game about devouring your double by elijah raine.

what a silly pun. locum tendons. come the fuck on. no just kidding i love it obviously. it's become a running theme this month and i'll always say it again: you can instantly endear me to your game with a razor-sharp premise. i'm on board from reading this paragraph. let's see if the game can keep me.

you have two stats, as a flesh-devouring doppleganger: your Deception (ability to pretend to not be a the thing from the thing) and Consumption (your ability to make a big mouth like the thing from the thing and eat somebody). this is a bit of a missed opportunity for flavour¹ because i think these stats could have been named something a bit more evocative--'deception' and 'consumption' are just kind of bland and plainly descriptive. aw well. they're inversely proportional--each party member (or, as the game suggests, each two or three) that you eat makes you stronger but also makes the party more suspicious.

other than rolling these two stats (it's a dice pool affair, using caltrop core's d4s) the main mechanic is 'fear', a stat that tracks up every time you fail or partially succeed on a role. if 'fear' gets too high while there's more than one victim left, the game ends--either in fleeing or death. i like that little detail, just because i'm always a fan of non-death outs for characters roleplaying games ever since blades introduced the concept to me.

other than that, there's a couple random tables. disappointingly, one of them is just for stock unlikeable adventurer characters--and maybe this is just because i'm immersed in the fantasy genre and TTRPG stuff and that whole cultural millieu but it really seems like something that anyone could have come up with.

like, i've seen every one of these done a million times. since i'm way too young for the height of drizzt and his ilk i'm honestly more familiar with these subversions than the original stock fantasy adventurers they're meant to be undermining. and familiar is the last thing i want from my random tables--random tables are peak 'game as co-author' for me and i want them to push me to places i wouldn't go myself. it especially hurts locum tendons because it's a one-page RPG, so this table represent a non-insignificant chunk of space used here! i'd have much rather had a table of possible origins for our player character shapeshifting flesh devourer! once more, missed opportunity. the other table, listing locations / setups for contrived one-by-one murderathons, is quite a bit better. i really like the 'at a wedding' suggestion, makes the player characters that much more villainous and creates an opportunity for great drama.

all in all locum tendons is competently put together on the dependable bedrock of caltrop core and has a strong concept, but it just doesn't quite commit enough. it's not immersed enough in the aesthetic that the name promises, it doesn't go full john carpenter, and i think that's ultimately to its detriment. there's a lot there, but it just doesn't fit it all together within the tight constraints that one-page design puts on a game.

locum tendons is available for purchase as a digital download through itch.io ¹teehee

[willow-asin-winnie]

I am of the correct opinion that songs in languages other than English need more love and for that matter, let me introduce you to: My German Batfam Playlist Project!

And who do we start with? Jason! So here, enjoy the playlist and my elaborations, because I have thoughts and will not keep my mouth shut <333

The masterlist <3

Also on ao3.

Neue Probleme ("New Problems") by Crystal F:

Life takes it course, no matter if you're prepared or not. Nothing ever seems normal, you'll always wait for life to finally make sense. Sound familiar?

Notable lyrics: "I think too often that I am nothing and that I can do nothing, far removed from the man I wanted to be"; "If something good happens, it's the others."; "I'm still afraid they'll forget me"

Durch die Nacht ("Through the night") by Pavel Paloma:

This one, actually, is the robin-anthem and therefore, Jason has his part as well, maybe I'll translate the lyrics fully at some point (there's no official lyrics, so mhmm). Anyway, it's a story of someone literally running through the night with someone else, dancing through it, but something changes over the course of time.

Notable lyrics: "Now I'm running through the city alone, I'm running through the night alone"; "Now I need to see where I stand, it's half past three in the night, please don't come back, please let me to you"

Trophäe ("Trophy") by Paula Carolina:

Being betrayed by the one you loved, feeling you're just a trophy to them. The lyrics explain it better than I could, but it's so angry jason coded.

Notable lyrics: "No, no, I don't want to be your trophy, just one out of many"; "No, no, I won't be your trophy, why don't you hang the others on your wall?"; "Your network, it's always your network, will it save you once you're hurt?"; "Will you notice if I'm suddenly gone?"; "And sometime, once you're alone, in an empty room, sitting in front of your daughter, Maybe you'll think of me, how you forgot my birthday."

Hier raus ("Out of here") by Cédric L'amour:

You look towards the one that wronged you full of anger. You need to get out of there, before you do something you'll regret. Doesn't that sound like his anger towards not only Batman, but also Tim?

Notable lyrics: "The people scream your name and I don't understand the hype"; "I need to get out of here, just out, if I don't leave right now I can't promise anything"; "Why is nobody saying anything? Why is nobody appalled? But I have to accept it?"; "I will get my revenge"

Blut / Leben ("Blood / Life") by REPLEKA:

Basically what the song says is: As long as you would come save me, I can die tomorrow. How is that not Jason coded?

Notable lyrics: "You were what kept me alive"; "I can't see anything, it's foggy, just reflections of neon lights in your eyes"; "Your blood flows through my veins"; "I trusted you blind although you couldn't see"

Wand ("Wall") by Ennio:

This song screams desperation. You built your wall and you kinda want people to try and break it, but oh what if they succeed? Who even am I behind it? But life has to go on anyway, somehow.

Notable lyrics: "I built my wall, people look at it. Will someone come close and try to understand?"; "They say do what's right, but when you do it's not right."; "You're not in the mood [to argue and to mingle], decline the call, and down your drink."

Alles nur gelogen ("It's all a lie") by KAFFKIEZ:

I see this song as the transition period between him not wanting to go home and slowly warming up to the family again. It's rocky, it's all different, but what can you do?

Notable lyrics: "It's all a lie, nothing is as it once was"; "I'm never home, I promise too much [...], I'll be home for Christmas, maybe"; "Whatever I say, it's not fair, I can't be fair enough for us both right now"; "I'd say I miss you, but I'm scared what that means, so I just try to move on and forget who we once were"

Elektronisches Mädchen ("E-girl/Electronic girl", but in a very very literally translated sense.) by Punk Christ:

This one, I can't quite explain. It's actually about people desperately trying to be different from the others, but subsequently being just like everyone else.

How is Batman commiting crimes in the name of justice okay, but not him?

Notable lyrics: "You say you're punk, she says your emo, he says you're just an electronic girl"; "Just admit you're actually like everyone else"

Mein Spiegelbild (hasst mich) ("My mirror image (hates me)") by raumfisch, Liser:

Being very painfully aware of your own flaws, but struggling to do anything against them. Also, what even are the chances Jason never broke a mirror after meeting the others again?

Notable lyrics: "Even the cashier at the corner store knows my life is a lie"; "It's not bad to be alone, I'll just drink for two."; "I count the flaws of the reflection, thoughts swirling. The image laughs, because he knows better. I fall for it"; "No, I'm not hurt, I am fine on my own, even if the shards of my mirror tell a different story."

Warte, warte ("wait, wait") by Subway To Sally:

Jason in his revenge era. Just. Look at the lyrics and you'll get it.

Notable lyrics: "In the streets, on the markets, you hear it quiet then loud, there is a monster in the city"; "a few people disappeared, now the people live in fear"; "in the dark, the werewolf is waiting for you. Wait, wait just a little while, wait, just wait for him."; "Everything around us falls apart, and in midst of the flames sneaks the monster into the light, bites down on your throat, drinks your blood and wishes so much that they'll talk of him in even a hundred years"; "All wolves and vampires, all demons, are just this: Humans that hunt humans"

Mein Kopf ist eine Party ("My mind is a party") by Paula Engels:

A party as a metaphor for panic, basically. It fits. Trust me on this. I think the deeper reason I think it fits is because Jason's arcs don't make sense in my head without panic. The anger and fear after being resurrected, everything that happened after, the "replacement" thing.

There is underlying panic, once the rage is not present enough to distract him from it.

Notable lyrics: "My mind is a party, can't breathe. I haven't felt for too long how it feels to feel nothing."; "My mind is a party, don't want to be here. I'm alone and the room closes in. Is the party winning?"; "The room is too small, all their stares on me, suddenly everything is quiet. They smirk is wide, say: 'You can only lose'"; "And I ask myself 'Is this still normal?'"

deine mama mag mich nicht ("your mother doesn't like me") by Yunus:

Okay, so. This is a hypothetical, okay? It's a great song. In theory it's about the parents of your love disapproving of you. But just. Bear with me.

Notable lyrics: "your mother doesn't like me, she's afraid of losing you, although i was always so friendly to them"; "I stand in front of your family like a sacrifice, don't know if I can do it again."; "I feel their death stares on me, but they can forget me breaking up with you."; "If they knew I'll stay, they'd kick me out"; "I hold back, why don't I ignore it? Where does love start and where does it end?"

...Hear me out. Red Hood Jason as the narrator. With past Jason as the lover.

GUT<BESSER<ICH ("GOOD<BETTER<ME") by TJ_beastboy:

Jason high on confidence. What you can do, I can do better. Nothing else to add.

Notable lyrics: "Didn't you already know? It goes: Good, better, me."

CONCLUSION:

More people need to listen to German music and I will supply you with it. If you enjoyed my ramblings and subpar translation skills, make sure you check out the next playlists once I post them.

Also, if you enjoyed the songs, make sure to check out some of the artists other work! Some of them are still very small and it would mean the world to me (and probably them) if more people got to enjoy their music.

Also, here the link again, in case the one above doesn't work: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HvMcE3IEO84vgqvNpr3d9?si=8376107780924f79