#so maybe hoid? but that seems too easy

[square-hatches-are-squary]

last dying words are a regular thing? and they were collected in the part one epigraphs for some reason? mostly all during the same twoish years?

I’m gonna point fingers and say this is a shard thing

but I need to go look back and see if there was a pattern in the words in the epigraphs that I maybe didn’t pick up on before, because I know sanderson likes his epigraphs

[gal-palanaeum]

Thinking, Overthinking, and a Pile of Letters by bridgeboy

Rated General, 6000 words, Khriss/Design and Cord/Rysn A philosophical treatise on the nature of love, masquerading as a fanfiction about two dorky scholars meeting for the first time. Design has questions, Khriss has answers... maybe. Beware spoilers across the cosmere!

Despite having her own office, Khriss preferred doing her research in the university's enormous library. Proximity to massive amount of information played into it, of course, but the bigger reason was that it was easier to get away from people and actually focus on her research. Her office was known to everyone at the university—why, it was known to practically everyone in Silverlight itself—and as a result, she had frequent visitors. The library, meanwhile, may as well have been a maze. It was easy to find a quiet corner far from distractions, and Khriss made a point to never hole up in the same study nook twice in a row; that helped make it much harder for people to find her on purpose. Of course, she'd still see other people as they wandered by, but they were just other users of the library; they never actually disrupted her.

Usually, at least.

Khriss looked up in surprise when she heard the scrape of someone pulling out the chair across from her. She'd been poring over maps of Western Roshar, and she'd been so absorbed in her thoughts she hadn't heard the newcomer approach.

They appeared to be a human woman, although Khriss knew that didn't necessarily mean much. Her long white hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and a tight, dark green dress showed off her frankly stunning curves. She seemed to be looking over the piles of assorted notes that were spread across the table.

"What are you working on?" the stranger asked.

Khriss ignored the question. "Who are you?" She was happy to talk about her work, but she wouldn't tell just anybody about it.

"My name is Design," the stranger said cheerily. She picked up one of the maps and started scanning it over.

Khriss wrinkled her brow, searching her memory for how she knew that name… Hoid's spren. Of course. She relaxed; Hoid was a pain in the ass, but he could be trusted—well, he could be trusted with knowledge of Khriss's current project, at least.

"I'm Khriss," she said. "I'm currently trying to get to the bottom of how a simple merchant on Roshar got a hold of one of the Dawnshards."

"Oh, Hoid told me about you. The famous scholar!" Design grinned. "Have you tried lifting up all your notes and checking underneath? Or… wait… that was a figure of speech, wasn't it?"

Khriss raised an eyebrow, then nodded slowly. She'd never actually met a Cryptic in person, but she'd read about their tendency to take things far too literally. "So Hoid is in town, then? What's he working on?"

"I'm honestly not sure!" Design let the map drop back to the table, eyeing a stack of letters. "Something about Aons, probably. Or Awakening. Something with an A. He said he didn't need my help but now I'm bored. Can I look through those?" She pointed at the letters.

"Uh, sure." With her concentration broken and distraction-free environment disrupted, there wasn't really any point in trying to get much work done at this point. Khriss decided she'd indulge a few questions from Design, then send the spren on her way.

Meanwhile, Design helped her self to the letters and began reading through them. Khriss couldn't help but notice how quickly she moved from one letter to the next—much faster than the average human could read. Fascinating. Would Design be interested in letting herself be timed?

Barely a moment passed before Design looked up. "The note on top is right, I don't see anything in here about Dawnshards." She wrinkled her nose and frowned. "Why are the letters written in two different languages? Also, does my facial expression look sufficiently confused? I still have a hard time getting confusion right. It doesn't come up much."

"You look kind of confused but mostly annoyed."

"Damnation, I'll have to practice that some more. Anyways, the languages? It would be more logical for them both to pick one to have their conversation in."

Khriss nodded. "It's because they were in love," she explained. "From what I can tell, they were practicing each other's native tongues."

Design quirked an eyebrow. "What does learning a new language have to do with love? They seem to like each other from all the 'I miss you' stuff but what does language factor in?"

Khriss sat back in her chair. How was she supposed to explain this? "Doing nice things for someone is a way to show you love them, through your actions instead of your words. Learning someone's native language so that they can understand you better is a really big action, and a really kind thing to do for another person."

Design hummed thoughtfully. "Would solving a complex math problem for someone show that you loved them?"

"Um. I guess so? If the person on the receiving end was really struggling and needed help."

"Does that mean all teachers are in love with their students?"

"No, definitely not."

"Why?"

"You don't have to be in love with someone to care about them."

"What's the difference between loving and caring?"

Khriss opened her mouth to reply, then stopped. There was a difference, of course, but Design's questions had her all turned around. "I… I need to think about that. It's hard to explain."

"Okay!" Design said, surprisingly chipper given that her question hadn't actually been answered. She put down the stack of letters and stood. "Thanks for the chat!"

And then she walked away, leaving Khriss sitting alone in stunned silence.

Keep reading

[hoid-library]

Beauty is Cheap

Length: 1433 words. ~5 minutes reading time.

I know what men really want, and let me tell you, beauty isn’t it. Beauty is an extra, a condiment; it’s not the main meal. Sex is. It’s all about sex, and how well you can please cocks, which opens all sorts of possibilities for girls who are insecure about their looks.

Consider this. What good is a girl with a smoking hot body — a true 11 out of 10 — if she won’t suck cock? Those bitches exist, you know.

Men don’t want women who can please their eyes. Men want women who can please their cocks. A 7 who sucks cock is better than an 11 who doesn’t. And a 3 who makes sex easy and can make him cum so hard he sees stars — he’ll fucking fall in love with that girl. He’ll cheat on hotter girls just to be with her.

What I’m saying, girls, is that what really matters in a woman is what’s inside… their holes. Cocks are what matter, cocks and how well you can please them. I can confidently tell you that if a woman is sufficiently submissive, she’ll hook me even if she’s ugly, fat, covered in scars, and a single mother.

That’s not a hypothesis — I have two girls like that in my roster right now, and they both please my Dom side in a way that few subs have managed before. One of them even gets off on being called all the adjectives listed above, which is nice. They both did what every slut should dedicate their lives to doing — they mastered the art of pleasing cock and debasing themselves for male pleasure.

For men, that’s what matters the most in a girl — the sexual pleasure they provide. The reason why most men won’t tell you that is that most of them have never really had a woman dedicate herself fully to pleasing them. Men are used to having to lie, steal, and beg to get OK sex which they think is great because they know nothing else.

Not all men are Alphas like me — sex is scarce for many of them. If you are one of the rare souls who can actually ask to be fucked, you can easily become a guy’s favorite slut. And if you master the art of getting men hard and getting them off in epic fashion, men will damn well fall in love with you, even if they are lowkey embarrassed to post photos with you on Facebook.

And isn’t that a great goal to aim for? Make it your goal to become so sexually pleasing that the men around you would rather be embarrassed than stop fucking you. Attain hotness that runs beneath your skin. Get men to cheat on girls much hotter than you just because when you make them cum they fucking see stars; get them to ditch their friends and the nightclub so they can stay home pumping you full of cum.

You may see hot girls walking around and feel jealous of them. Life for them is so easy! All they need is a little cleavage and men are all over them. And fair enough. Attraction is step 1 in any sexual encounter, and hot girls are natural cock magnets. But what about steps 2 through 10 of that process? What about what happens in bed? Do you think those hotties will spend hours practicing to deep throat cock, learning how to contract their Kegel muscles, and studying all the best ways to edge a man with their tongues?

No. They’ll date cute losers with money and complain to their friends that all the men they meet blow their loads in 3 minutes. They’ll be assaulted by hot men so much they’ll get an inflated sense of self, which will make it very hard for them to enjoy the pleasures of being truly submissive to men. Then they’ll meet that one asshole who makes them feel like a real woman and fall madly in love with them. That’s the life story of 8 out of 10 hot women, especially in their teens and their 20s.

Of course, not all girls follow that standard. Life isn’t a video game; there is no fairness, no game balance. Some lucky whores really do have everything in life — they are incredibly beautiful and have incredible sex with an incredible Alpha who fulfills then completely. Girls like that do exist. But assuming that every hot girl lives that way is like assuming every guy driving a nice car is Jeff Bezos. People who have it that great are rare, and they all worked for it.

But back to you, my insecure reader. There is a path to female sexual success without traditional beauty. Work on your moves, get more social and start making it easy for men to date you — walk up to cute guys and give them a piece of paper with your phone number if you have to. What’s stopping you? How much courage does that really require?

Here are the four steps for success.

First, you get guys on dates — figure out the best way to do that, the phone number idea isn’t bad. Just write “I’m shy, but please text me later :)” with your phone number underneath. Do it to dozens of guys every week to stack the odds in your favor.

Second, while on dates, either get the guy to bed or let them take you to bed.

Third, in bed, blow their fucking mind and work your hardest to be the best little slut he ever had. Ask if you can call him “Sir”, get on your knees without him asking, be proactive. The more men you get to bed the better you’ll be at fucking them.

Fourth, after that first fuck, get to know him. By then you’ll have so much value in his eyes that all the great guys will be all over you.

You’ll have a lot of horrible sexual experiences, but you’ll have a lot of unforgettable ones too. And with experience, you’ll get better at filtering the creeps during the first date. 

Follow this process and, if you can get one cock a month, you will have 12 cocks a year. About half of them will want to fuck you more than once, and once you kick out the bastards, it should still leave you with two good fuck buddies at the end of a year. That’s great cock just one phone call away, year-round for as long as they are single — and maybe even past that. What else do you need to be sexually happy?

In the long term, this systematic hunt for cock will get guys wanting to be your forever partner — begging you to date and even marry them. Guys who will be blown away by your skill and experience that — should you choose one of them — they won’t believe how lucky they are that they get to live with you and have you please their cocks every day. Tell me that idea doesn’t make you smile.

Get a system. That’s the key. Hot girls just bumble around hoping some player will take them to bed, they don’t put in the work; they don’t put in the hours. Get a system like this going and start dedicating six hours a week just to getting sex partners. Within a year you’ll be texting a lot more guys than any popular girl, and you’ll be so confident you won’t even recognize yourself anymore. You won’t have to lose a pound — although dressing cute might be a good idea.

There is no success without work. Not in this life. You know the smoking hot Instagram stars who seem to just get paid to shake their ass around? Watch closely. They have entire marketing companies around them, they make strategic collaborations with other stars, they have an upload schedule and a shoot schedule and a gym schedule to keep their money-maker in order. And they live their lives watching over their shoulder for anything that could damage their reputation. Just being cute gets you likes on Facebook and a bunch of dick pics — making money off beauty takes work. Getting great cock takes work.

Stop bemoaning your beauty and get to work. There are cocks out there that need pleasing, are you going to let all those loads go to waste?

Here’s some further reading on how to pick-up men IRL.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/157588-7-tips-for-picking-up-guys-irl.

— Original essay by King Hoid. April 25, 2020.

[neuxue]

Oathbringer thoughts

I was hoping to be able to liveblog Oathbringer, but it turns out I was too optimistic by half. Well, by about 5/28 anyway, given that I have two and a half WoT books left. I thought about just waiting to read Oathbringer (if there’s anything liveblogging WoT has taught me it’s patience) but I’m going to the Sanderson signing tomorrow so I was running out of time. Anyway, here are some thoughts upon finishing, for the 2 or 3 of you who are interested. I was reading probably a little too fast, so probably missed everything and will at some point need to reread, but here you go.

LOTS OF SPOILERS BELOW. ALL THE SPOILERS. HERE THERE BE SPOILERS. 

In no particular order (but there are 10: a nicely Vorin number to go with my coincidentally Vorin username)

1. Talenel. Taln. Talenelat’Elin. Stonesinew, Herald of War, Bearer of all Agonies. 

That guy.

Taln was a Problem for me literally from the moment he was introduced in the Prelude (offscreen! He didn’t even show up on-page! Why am I like this?!) with the line “Taln had a tendency to choose seemingly hopeless fights and win them. He also had a tendency to die in the process”. A doomed last stand in the form of a character. Why would you do this to me. 

So I’m sure you can guess that Chapter 38 (‘Broken People’ what a chapter title) thoroughly broke me. I mean, it wasn’t even anything we didn’t already know, really. But... “The nine realised that one of them had never broken.” And “The Bearer of Agonies. The one abandoned in Damnation. Left to withstand the tortures alone.” And the fact that it took four and a half millennia for him to break.

I’ve long had a fascination with the idea of ‘everyone has a breaking point’ (when I was 11 I tried to write a novel based entirely on the concept of someone who does not - or cannot - break; the ‘cannot’ turned out to be a rather interesting thing to explore, but the story overall was terrible because, amongst other reasons, I was 11) and with the idea of breaking characters, and what it would take to break certain characters, and what the result would be. 

As I mentioned, I also have a thing for doomed last stands, so basically Talenel was created to be my breaking point, it would seem. (“Herald Talenelat during several of his many, many last stands...” just @ me next time)

And then. And then 

“Four thousand years?” She held his hand tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” [...] “Four thousand years?” Taln asked again. “Ash...” “We couldn’t continue--I...we thought...” “Ash.” He took her hand again. “What a wonderful thing.” Wonderful? “We left you, Taln.” “What a gift you gave them! Time to recover, for once, between Desolations. Time to progress. They never had a chance before. But this time...yes, maybe they do.”

And then...lucidity abandons him, because he is broken, and it’s been four thousand years. But in that one moment, in the moment when he is briefly himself, it’s as if he isn’t broken at all. The fact that this still exists within him, even if the rest of the time he’s found a refuge in madness or forgetting or in the recitation he gives over and over, the advice he needs to give to humanity, the duty he has to them. It’s like name, rank, serial number. It’s very probably the thing he held on to throughout those four and a half thousand years, the thing he could not allow himself to let go of or forget, even as he broke. And the thought that the one point he fixed on, the thing he held fast to even as he broke, was his duty to humankind, is...a lot.

2. Speaking of Taln, let’s talk a little bit about Kaladin

There are plenty of things I could say about Kaladin, but I mostly just want to throw a few quotes out there For Your Interest. Because...I don’t know if there’s anything to this but here.

Quotes about Taln:

“The one who wasn’t meant to have joined them in the first place, the one who was not a king, scholar, or general” 

Um.

“One of them had never broken.”

Quotes about or by Kaladin Stormblessed (surgeon’s son, neither king nor scholar nor general):

“That granite will, that warrior’s poise.” 

(As an aside, how do granite and obsidian exist on a planet with no tectonics? How???)

“Ten spears go to battle” [Kaladin] whispered, “and nine shatter. Did that war forge the one that remained? No, Amaram. All the war did was identify the spear that would not break.”

One unbroken, of ten. 

Eight months. Eight months as a slave, eight months of slop and beatings. It might as well have been an eternity. --from Way of Kings

An eternity of torture? Also Taln’s Scar is high in the sky during Kaladin’s time as a slave. Maybe meaningless. 

Why were they going through all of this? What was the point? Why were they running so much? They had to protect their bridge, the precious weight, the cargo. They had to hold up the sky and run, they had to... --Kaladin’s thoughts, WoK

Take that just a little out of immediate context and that last part especially sure sounds like someone tasked with endless agony for the sake of the world

Yet the sheer glory of what he did seemed at odds with the desolation he caused --Kaladin’s thoughts, WoK

Somewhat less relevant to the thing I’m sort of vaguely postulating but still an interesting choice of words, and the Desolations happen when the Heralds break and return, so.

“His body dead, but not his will” --Hoid, WoR, telling the ‘Fleet’ story

Taln dies a lot. It’s sort of his thing. But his will takes four millennia to break.

“Then I hope I end up in Damnation.” --Kaladin, WoR

I’m just saying.

Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s leftover from one of the things I got hilariously wrong when first reading WoK - obviously Kaladin was gaining the powers of a Radiant but I really, really wanted him to somehow be Taln. (Amusingly, I read Way of Kings before I started Wheel of Time, otherwise it would be easy to see where this notion came from). Maybe it’s Maybelline. Regardless, it’s an interesting set of possible parallels.

3. Wow, he just up and told us what caused the Recreance in book three. 

And it felt like the perfect time for it. It’s the sort of thing you’d normally expect an author to sit on for more or less the entire series. I was tentatively prepared to wait for at least the first five books before getting this much stated outright on-page. 

I’m so glad Sanderson gave it to us now, instead. For one thing, it felt oddly refreshing to have such a big question answered so early. Playing the long game with reveals can work, obviously, but it’s fun to mix things up a bit. It also plays into some of what I ended up talking about in the ‘Dalinar’ section of this list regarding plot twists and the execution thereof. The Recreance is a good example, because it was revealed in full at the point in the story when it could have the impact it needed to have. In-story, it was both the probable and logical time for the secret to come out - it would have started to strain suspension of disbelief if that many characters had some knowledge of it, and none of them ever put it together on-page either in their own thoughts or for the other characters. For the reader, it brings everything together at a point when it’s all very relevant, and at a point when there’s enough information to figure it out if you’re careful and lucky, but not so much that it loses all surprise value whatsoever (For the record, I was close about a lot of it, but there were some pieces I missed and/or put in the wrong place. It did, however, satisfy the one thing I was really hoping it would). 

Narratively and thematically, it makes sense alongside the other questions that are being asked or otherwise addressed - the issue of colonisation and ownership and agency, the question of war and protection and the justifications for either or both, the contrast of unity and division, and of course the question of oaths and honour and betrayal.  

Answering this question now also makes the whole story suddenly feel so much bigger, because when something set up to be this much of a central question is almost just handed to you, it serves to put it into perspective. It makes the rest of the story, and next set of questions we’re starting to ask, and the questions we don’t even yet know to ask, seem so much larger, and the story so much vaster. 

4. OH THANK THE LISTENING GODS THE LOVE TRIANGLE SPUTTERED AND DIED BEFORE IT COULD EAT EVERYTHING 

I breathed an actual literal sigh of relief. I hate love triangles so much, mostly because I usually struggle to maintain ‘bored indifference’ rather than outright irritation at romance subplots in general, so love triangles are almost always intolerable because not only do they double the romance but they turn it into a point of conflict and miscommunication and angst and I cannot fucking stand it. If I had a dragon for every unnecessary love triangle I’ve had to read, I’d have been able to take over the world a long time ago. Or have the world’s most epic bonfire. 

Anyway. Through WoR (and I guess WoK but to a lesser extent) I was torn between trusting Sanderson to avoid or subvert that particular cliche and...not trusting him to do that. There are a lot of things I do trust him with as a storyteller (especially one who has clearly evolved in his writing, storytelling, and awareness) but I wasn’t sure if I could trust him on this. He earned quite a bit of trust from me for how he ended up writing this, actually.

The exact moment I breathed that sigh of relief? It was the conversation Shallan and Kaladin had about her particular coping mechanism. Specifically: 

“No. No, Shallan! I wish I could do the same. [...] How nice would it be, if I could simply shove it all away? Storms.” [...] “This way, I’ll never face it,” Shallan said. “It’s better than being unable to function.” “That’s what I tell myself.”

Because this was the moment when it became exceedingly, abundantly, absolutely clear that Sanderson was doing this on purpose. I had hoped he was, because this was something that felt off about Kaladin and Shallan during their chasms conversation in WoR as well (the ‘she smiled anyway’ thing), but then there was the possibility that it was...accidental. Now, though, I have significantly more faith in Sanderson, because this is a really...I can’t think of the word but I’m glad he did this the way he did.

And I am SO INCREDIBLY GLAD THE LOVE TRIANGLE DIED. And the way in which it died. And the fact that everyone involved respected its death. And that it didn’t stop the characters involved from communicating with and trusting one another. And also that said death included the line “Shallan. he can literally fly.”

(Adolin Kholin is not straight. Just tossing that out there).

(Shallan consistently using the word ‘passion’ when thinking about or describing Kaladin is interesting, though, in light of certain other reveals. Not sure if there’s actually anything to that, but it’s just a thing that stood out).

5. Dalinar

So the identity of Odium’s Champion was one of the things I saw coming as soon as the champion idea was mentioned in this book. (It was brought up in previous books and this was one of my theories but I definitely wasn’t certain, and I was also Distracted by what I wanted to have happen, which is not something that would ever actually happen. I’ll write the fic at some point). 

Anyway, it was predictable...but that didn’t matter, because it was beautifully executed. “You cannot have my pain” is a cool line out of context, but in context it was magnificent. 

I like the way Sanderson does plot twists, because unlike with some authors, it doesn’t feel as if his sole intent is to be able to say ‘ha ha, tricked you, aren’t I so clever’. His goal, it seems, is to tell a satisfying story. Rather than withholding all of the information relevant to the ‘twist’ to make it actually impossible to guess (which doesn’t make you a master of the plot twist so much as it makes you an asshole), he includes the necessary and sufficient foreshadowing to allow the ‘twist’ to make sense and not feel like it came out of nowhere. 

This means, of course, that some readers are going to guess it in advance. That’s just how it works. If you put the information out there, some people are going to put it together correctly and completely. Some people are going to put some of it together, and have a sense of where things are heading. Some people are going to be absolutely sure of where it’s heading...and then be completely wrong. Some people are going to have absolutely no clue. The truly impressive plot twist, I find, is the one that can satisfy people in all of those categories. YMMV of course, but having been in each of these positions at least once while reading Sanderson’s books, I feel like he manages this impressively well. It’s fun if it’s at least a little bit of a surprise, but even when it’s not, it’s satisfying because it’s written as part of the story - as a point of emotional or narrative impact, or a turning point for the characters - well enough that it still has the desired effect. Mostly because ‘gotcha’ isn’t the (only) desired effect.

I digress somewhat.

So before we move on, I’d also like to point out that Dalinar Kholin and Lews Therin Telamon clearly need to form a support group for men who murdered their wives in a fit of madness and fucked with the psyche, memory, and identity of their future selves.

6. “The apocalypse is coming; we don’t have time for bullshit gender roles”

Adolin being absolutely here for Shallan-with-Shardblade. Kaladin going ‘yeah okay’ to women joining the Windrunners. Dalinar learning to read. Jasnah as queen because honestly was there ever actually another choice? 

This is another one that’s just so refreshing to see, especially because it’s clearly something that’s being deliberately examined and played with, but is also integrated into the story. It doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb the author didn’t know what to do with, but it also plays a very real role in the story. It’s not just there so the author can point to the one sword-wielding woman in a cast of thousands of dudes and say ‘but I gave you a Strong Female Character’. 

This ties into something I really appreciate about Sanderson, which is his demonstrated ability and willingness to learn and grow when it comes to issues of representation - not just in terms of including it, but in how he includes it. 

7. Venli

I don’t have a lot to say about her except that I was genuinely surprised by this one. So well done on that, Sanderson.

Also, given his propensity for writing brothers in love with the same woman, I’m almost surprised we didn’t get some sort of reveal about Venli and Eshonai loving the same person.

8. Cosmere convergence

There was a lot more than I expected at this point in the...series? Continuity? Mass of interconnected stories that have evolved into a semi-eldritch being? I enjoyed it and had no problems with this, but I’d be curious to know what someone who’s only read Stormlight thought - does it still work? Do they just play as intriguing and mysterious characters alongside all the other intriguing and mysterious characters, or has it reached a tipping point where you actually need to have read some of the other books?

Also Cosmere-related...Hoid. He’s sure getting more and more screen time, isn’t he? I’m Interested. I have Thoughts. I need to think about them more but I definitely have some Thoughts on who and what he is. Regardless, any character who can say “if I have to watch this world crumble and burn to get what I need, I will do so. With tears, yes, but I would let it happen” is going to Interest me. Not to mention the sheer number of times he tells various characters not to trust him. And then there’s “you turned your back on divinity.” Which is...um. Yeah I’m fine this is fine.

9. Odium

Has to be number 9, because of reasons. Odium was great. Nice subversion of imagery there, and to great effect. 

10. Ideals and Oaths

I mostly find it amusing how a book called Oathbringer is the first to plainly exhibit failed Ideals. Elhokar. Kaladin. (My best guess at the Windrunners’ Fourth Ideal would be something along the lines of “I will protect those I can, and forgive myself for those I cannot” but I’ll have to reread and see if that holds up). The broken Oathpact (there’s a part of me that really wants the gem-encrusted probably-a-fabrial-of-some-sort pillar to be the Oathpact; its manifestation or sealing or what-have-you. Not sure that holds up though). It’s a fun little irony.

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 50-54

Apologies to anyone actually reading these for the wait! I wasn’t able to make any headway over the holiday, and then I was finishing up and posting Whitespine Caged, so this last week didn’t see any progress either!

But, here you go, the next chunk. And if by chance there are people reading these, is there anything you’d like to see me doing differently in these liveblogs?

Chapter Fifty – Shash Thirty-Seven

'Obrodai'? Where and what is Obrodai. Is that the place in the sea, whichever sea that may be?

'new avatar' wh a t

'she has been instilled with an intense and overpowering dislike of you' how the hell did you piss these people off that badly, Hoid

WHOOO FLYING WITH KALADIN. But Dalinar is. not thrilled. Understandable, considering the circumstances of his previous 'flight'. But it seems he's not the greatest fan of heights, either. Heh.

“Men are not of the waves.” Tell that to the Thaylens and Reshi. I guarantee you'll get a rude gesture.

Huh. I wonder what purpose the 'domes' that the warcamps previously were served. Shelter? Granaries? Were they used by the humans or the Parshendi?

Everyone has Crazy Hair but what do you bet that Kaladin's is somehow still perfect and luxurious. Syl must protect it somehow.

Oh thank the Heralds you're at least still thinking about the logistics of feeding Urithiru while still keeping in mind the limited supply of gemhearts and possible extinction of the chasmfiends.

Well, at least there's one person who's got some Air in them. Dalinar, not so much.

Looks like it took Aharietiam alone, and Fen finally accepts. That one is a doozy. But at least Dalinar finally has one of the other rulers willing to listen! I thought it'd be Gawx, since he has Lift with him, but nope, I was wrong.

Lost in your own warcamp, Dalinar, come on! At least you'll make it easy for Kadash to find you.

[hums] So your Calling was… leading your armies? I can't remember if this was discussed in TWoK or if that was just a mention of your devotary. Either way, it's what you're good at, certainly.

“What else were important lighteyed families going to do with unmotivated children?” Well heaven forbid they actually find what they enjoy doing later in their lives.

Yes yes you need to find Taln, he's the only Herald that you more or less know is a Herald at this point. You're still not going to convince the ardents anytime soon, though

Yeaaaah. They're all wondering if the de facto leader of Alethkar has really gone crazy and denounced the roots of Vorinism or not. It's a bit of a big deal, Dalinar.

Awww, Kadash, you waited as long as you could so you could argue Dalinar's side! Even though you don't believe him! That's loyalty, right there.

[winces] For all Roshar's fairly decent medical knowledge, your planet doesn't have the greatest mental health approaches, Dalinar. That's probably intentional too.

Huh. 'Not ready' for Tension yet – does that mean Stormfather wants you to say another Ideal, or just practice more? As usual, he's maddeningly unspecific in that regard.

A poison dart, though it wasn't to be used on Taln. But you wouldn't know that it was Amaram who cut him out of the cell, or that it was his life the attempt was made on.

Where is Amaram keeping Taln?

Yesssss, KALADIN FLYING TO THAYLENAH SOON. I'm all for both more Kaladin and more Queen Fen.

Chapter Fifty-One – Full Circle

“overcome the tests we have created” yes go let's do it BRING IT, WHOEVER YOU ARE

Considering that the last human they trusted got them pulling this sledge (through sheer association and nothing else), it's entirely understandable that they're standoffish to Moash. Not quite what he's thinking they're thinking, but still.

Further details on the agriculture! Excellent. Giant storm-breaks make sense if you're going to try and keep a land of cultivated food safe from the highstorms and have it be big enough to help feed an entire city.

At least two kinds of Fused then, and for some reason their Investiture isn't running out. How and why.

Impressed? Oh ho, the voidspen/ancient Parshendi in the Fused don't recognise this kind of ingenuity and technology from humans of the past, do they? Four and a half thousand years has given humanity time to advance  - that's one advantage that's going to help them dearly in this Desolation.

HEH. They haven't seen anyone even dare to resist the Fused yet, save Kaladin fleeing, and that's an entirely different matter. Killing one? They probably haven't even considered the possibility.

Yeaaaah, the situation in Kholinar is fucked

'the Fallen Tower'. Is that foreshadowing. That'd better not be foreshadowing, Brando.

….I can't blame him for laughing his ass off. How ironic.

Oh, switching POVs in the middle of a chapter, and to Shallan? Huh. I wonder how important that transition is.

Ooo, at least we're getting more info on Ishnah. I like her so far. Ambitious! Brave! Intelligent! Shallan needs someone to step on her toes a bit.

Oh, interesting. Illusions powered by the stormlight in spheres that she can then leave behind! Anywhere! She can make an illusion of herself in her rooms if she needs an alibi for 'Shallan', or create a stable diversion. ….well, and the maps too. Yeah. Nice.

I can't help but snigger when I read 'my royal person.' Elhokar, really. Really. Dude.

Mmm, going straight to Elhokar to get out from under Jasnah's eye. She does have a point, it'll be better if you have someone who can disguise the more… noticeable personages among you, and doubly so someone who's more used to sneaking around than all of you. Even better if she can lightweave herself or Kaladin into looking like a Parshman and getting even a few precious seconds of advance on the Oathgate if it's guarded.

All the effort spent to get away from Jasnah, when you spent so much trying to get close to her in the first place…

[hums]

Chapter Fifty-Two – After His Father

MORE FLASHBACKS YESGOOD

is the title referencing Adolin or Renarin though – or are we going to get to know anything about Dalinar's parents for once?

…..have you been away from your wife and kid for four years straight, Dalinar. Maybe short visits back, sure, but. Damn.

You're about to pass out on your feet, though. Trying to do the work of the entire army by yourself?

“This is now my audience tent. Take what is absolutely essential and leave me.” [SNORTS] I WAS RIGHT

Two thousand losses to two hundred. You were doing an army's worth of fighting, Dalinar, and your soldiers certainly weren't slacking either. Fuck. Well, at least you're finally learning to go to and even run briefings and take on strategy rather than just charging in headlong. You're actually learning to lead.

Aaaaaaand you're still addicted to the Thrill.

EVI EVI EVI HIIIIIIII

You're yelling at her Dalinar? I know you've had a long day but that is uncalled for and you even frightened her. Back the fuck up.

It's like you don't even want to see your family. Ordering Evi around? And she cringes? And you've never even seen Renarin? Where is any sign of that tenderness you felt for Evi, the exultation on seeing your child? There's no sign of it in this man you are right now.

….I actually rather like Renarin's name, no matter Dalinar's groaning. It's a part of all of them – mother, father, brother – to carry with him, and the meaning suits him well. Unique unto himself, our fierce, brave Renarin.

You didn't even respond to a spanreed call to name your son. Goddamn, Dalinar.

At least Evi apparently has Navani and Ialai supporting her – and hopefully her brother as well, though we still know next to nothing about Toh. Dalinar's certainly not being anything but a shit husband.

She still wants to be around you even though you're a complete ass, Dalinar; be grateful.

Compassionate and merciful. It's good that she's the one with the most influence on Adolin during these early years.

SPEAKING OF WHOM. MY HEART JUST GREW THREE SIZES.

No fear of heights for this Kholin, it seems.

[wibbles over the thought of bitty little Adolin assembling his 'armor' (yes! let that creativity shine!)] but oh man, I'm torn over him going up and saluting Dalinar as a greeting – one, that's adorable, but also he's only four and a half and thinks that that's the best way to greet his father. That's… terribly painful.

And he's afraid of you too.

Fuck.

!!!! BITTY RENARIN. Who's contentedly playing by himself, not walking as much as expected, and very quiet. At least it seems like your mother and brother are doing right by you, because I'm not sure this version of Dalinar would right now. He can't even call up emotion.

Little four-year-old-Adolin already is determined to win a Blade and refuses his father's offer to do it for him. Why am I not surprised.

(these glyphs on the endpage are gorgeous)

Chapter Fifty-Three – Such A Twisted Cut

New letter? New letter! But written from who to whom? (Though by this point we can probably assume that Hoid's the party receiving the letter.)

Jasnah chapter~ All this interest in this specific king in history due to the shortness of his reign - did he accomplish something great (or terrible) or die under mysterious circumstances? (Possibly Skybreaker circumstances….?)

….this guy had family issues. And was apparently psychotic. He cooked the meat for his feast over the funeral pyre of his executed family members? Dude.

Karma got him in the end. Though I wonder, with the way Jasnah's focusing on this story, if the Unmade might have something to do with him...

You have to give Renarin time to gather that courage and decide though, Jasnah. Let him take his life at his own pace.

Wait, is Jasnah not in on the plan to fix that very problem by making Dalinar a Highking? You think they'd've mentioned that to her at the very least once she got to Urithiru.

Time for a spanreed teleconference! And I immediately love Jochi. An old baker who writes under a lady's penname as a philosopher and isn't afraid to make pastry talk to lighten the atmosphere? B l e s s

Nale! And Axies! We'd better see both of you in this book, and hopefully soon.

Of course you misplaced Lift. You never had a hold on her in the first place.

!!!! Wait where did you get drawings of the Heralds. Was it while you were in Shadesmar. Jasnah, or were you able to see more than just Jezrien while you were in the vision Dalinar provided?

-wait, what, wedding preparations, wh a t-

Renarin, are you talking to Glys? Are we finally going to meet him soon? And what do you sense in this room…?

Ahhh, so Navani's the one pushing for a ceremony soon, probably for stability for her own family and Alethkar if nothing else

Fuuuuuuucking Amaram. Of course you couldn't stay away from the main crew for too long.

Jasnah, and here I thought you'd just spoken with Shallan not too many chapters ago about threats/insults. (WR E C K HIM JASNAH)

Ooo, you're trying to be a manipulative little motherfucker, you poxed eel. Fuck off.

Her snappy dismissiveness is brightening my entire night. I should make popcorn for this scene.

Amaram grabbing her arm is making me bristle. I can only imagine that she's standing as primly as a queen, glancing down at his hand like it's windblown trash that happened to land on her.

J a s nah, that was brutal. And not what I expected from you, going after his mother like that (not that he doesn't deserve all the insults. Because he does. But maybe she doesn't.)

Holy sheeeeyit

OH SHIT, ROAST HIM

OH YEAH. COME ON. COME ON AMARAM I DARE YOU JUST TRY IT AND YOU'RE ONLY GONNA BE SO MUCH SMOKE ON THE WIND

best show the scholars have seen all week

...I don't think there's going to be any option that keeps Amaram “””safely occupied”””. Just a hunch. Jasnah's probably going to have to use that 'pays-assassins-well-and-discreetly' option.

We are all Shallan in this moment.

(thus begins the lessons on how to properly insult someone down to a quivering puddle)

Shallan, you haven't been getting any reading done – not that yout Veil-work isn't important, but you're not going to be able to keep this facade up forever.

Oooo, and here's the lie/excuse. Mind, it's a good one, but what will Jasnah-

What's Renarin doing.

SECRET BUTTONS SECRET BUTTONS IN THE LIBRARY

And they were hiding encoded gemstones! Ooo, I wonder if it was the Truthwatchers that did it, 'foreseeing' that they'd need some way of ensuring that their information would need to last longer than any books they had at the time? (and maybe hinting as to why Renarin was the one to sense them there) Ingenious setup though.

Chapter Fifty-Four – An Ancient Singer's Name

….is the writer of this pre-chapter letter Sazed/Harmony. It sounds like the cadence of his writing, and that 'before attaining my current station' with obvious reference to the writer being a 'deity' right after…

Another Moash chapter. [sighs] And the first thing he notes is how much better he has it here than in Sadeas' camp, relatively, and then once again convince himself that it wasn't his fault.

It's a stark difference from how the protagonist side of the book is handling things (mostly).

!!!! Another Fused type, this one able to manipulate the shape of its carapace! But is the shifting into whatever they can imagine, or only certain shapes?

Strike Team Kholin had better get to Kholinar and open the Oathgate quickly, otherwise the Fused/Parshmen armies will be able to overrun them through sheer force of numbers, assuming that the city is only sparsely defended at the moment, what with all the armies off in Urithiru.

[snorts] Of course you have a reputation. You don't punch people out and then start siding with the only group of Parshman slaves without the story getting around.

...there's probably more crazy Fused than sane ones, Moash, considering what they are.

Voidlight? Is that what we're calling it now?

Add another count to the Alethi who are not about this 'heights' thing.

Admittedly, the robes of the flying Fused do sound quite lovely and very impressive. Someone knows how to dress their people to make a statement.

The windspren – and all the other spren – are probably all avoiding anything that senses of Odium like the plague.

“Do you know that it is one of our names?” Oooooo. Of course you'd get borrowed words in the language, especially over the time that Listeners/Parshendi and humans have interacted, but Sanderson doesn't name without reason. Handful of spheres says that this is another indication that Moash sides with the Fused/Parshmen in the end.

Okay, so the Fused still call their 'surges' Surges, but we're not entirely certain that they're the same as those the Radiants have. They're definitely powered in a different manner, but they could have further differences that separate the powersets – the ways they can use them and even how they combine, maybe.

OOP, THIS IS THE SPREN-SHENDI OF THE ONE YOU KILLED ON THE PLAINS. If she wanted you dead she'd have killed you already, Moash, so calm ur tits.

“Those who fall will be sung of, but their blood is ours to demand.” Yeah you give zero fucks about the Parshmen and Parshendi of this time. Does the one who was sacrificed to you still scream inside her own head?

It's like Solas and the Yeerks all rolled into one big, steaming pile of Do Not Want.

Aaaaaaand she's telling Moash of their reasons for fighting. Yep, he's as good as Odium-bound.

Oh ho, she gave him his freedom – and I'm betting responsibility to go along with it. ….or not. But she gave him a question, and he's choosing responsibility for himself. Ironic, when he chooses not to accept that of his previous actions.

[bakechochin]

Book Reviews - Mistborn: The Bands of Mourning

Mistborn: The Bands of Mourning - Brandon Sanderson - For fuck’s sake fine, I’ll get back on the Mistborn train after a good few aeons of neglecting it -> My relationship with this series is similar to a friendship with a guy called Callum who I know through uni, in that both are great fucking fun in short bursts but the shit they try to pull tests the very boundaries of belief; it has however been just shy of a year since I’ve read any Mistborn books, so I figured I could go into this one with a mind clear of the bitterness I once held for the series - As it turns out, going in to this book fresh was a great idea, as all the good stuff that I liked from the previous books shone in this book, which can’t all be down to my own revitalised interest and therefore must in part be attributable to this book’s high quality -> The action in this book is bloody amazing, continuing to bring all I’d expect from the Mistborn series (i.e. high-intensity and fast paced set pieces, occasionally aboard trains, involving novel uses of radical metal magic), and of course the multiple character perspectives allows for lots of cool action stuff to be going on at the same time -> This of course gives the book a brilliant pace, with all the characters always doing something that will move the plot along; I remember in Shadows of Self, it took almost a hundred pages in for it to be revealed that kandra are back (which was a sizeable bloody portion of that book), but in this book it throws you right into the fray of things and the gang are off on their merry quest before you even know what’s happening - Whilst Alloy of Law was too focused on the industry elements, and Shadows of Self was too intensive with the high magic vibes, this book manages to create a far better balance between the two, with both the industry and the magic existing simultaneously without ridiculously overpowering the other, which made for a much better read - This is something that I have yet to praise the Mistborn series for, especially the Wax and Wayne books, but I absolutely love how the different character perspectives in these books allow to really capture the lives of people of both upper and lower classes, thereby really emphasising the life of the city as a whole (this shines particularly well in this book for that matter, being better able to capture the more ‘fun’ side of working class life as opposed to nothing but grim misery) - The characters continue to be pretty alright; Wax and Wayne are as great as ever and can always elicit a few sensible chuckles from me, Marasi continued to teeter precariously between relevant and irrelevant but was generally pleasant enough, and I was honestly quite glad to see Steris get more of a role in this book as I’ve always been oddly fond of her ridiculously comical stoicism - I am very glad that this book has finally made the Set, who previously seemed like just a bunch of boring businessmen, seem like a credible threat to our protagonist group of overpowered geezers, with some interesting advancements and a few rad twists - The ending to this piqued the everliving fuck out of my interest, and so now I’ve no choice but to wait until The Lost Metal comes out in paperback just to figure out what the fuck is going on - This was equally the case in Shadows of Self, but I really fucking love the inclusion of in-world broadsheet pages in this book; they were great for world building and look seriously fucking cool - Readers of the series may know that last book ended with shit hitting the fan, and I was expecting this to have a bigger impact on the beginning of this book than what the book actually provided; I’m not sure if I prefer the book’s commencing in media res, thereby bypassing what would have most likely been a good few pages of Wax moping and not being an especially engaging protagonist, when I was thinking that the catastrophic events that occurred in the previous book could allow for some interesting character study with Wax - At this point in the series I reckon I can say that Sanderson’s lack of forward planning with the Mistborn books is pretty fucking evident -> Both this book and Shadows of Self do pretty much the same exact thing; introduce some new previously unmentioned element right at the beginning (I mean technically Lessie was mentioned in Alloy of Law, but she was alive for all of twenty pages so she may as well not have been), which will obviously be the entire crux of the characters’ motivations for the book’s events (in the case of this book it’s the inclusion of Wax’s sister, who is, by the way, a pretty shitty character) -> I probably ought to cut Sanderson some slack, since he wrote Alloy of Law as a writing exercise for shits and grins and probably wasn’t anticipating to have to squeeze another three books out of what he set up in that one short book, but I’m still gonna complain about it because it is still a recurring issue that vexes me from book to book - Just as I was getting into this adventure to previously unseen lands that the book was setting up, all of a sudden Sanderson decided to dump a shit load of political exposition on my head, which I cannot say I appreciate (and not even the cool fun times politics from The Well of Ascension, but shit about taxation that is easy enough to get my head around but not stuff that I want to be dedicating reading time to when there’s Allomancy fight scenes to be had) -> There’s even talk amongst the characters along the lines of, ‘I’m sorry for not paying more attention to all the politics malarkey before now, it truly is important’, which seems to me like Sanderson subtly slagging me off for wanting to be exempt from this shit - Whilst I do enjoy seeing the wider world of Scadriel in the Mistborn universe, I can’t help feeling that though hype is built up about each new location, all the new cities seem really unimportant when they’re really just all copy-pastes of one another (same grandiose halls, same shifty nobles, same grubby plebs) and really only exist as the same backdrop for action set pieces with ostensibly raised stakes because they’re in a different location now -> I’m not saying that Sanderson should get rid of the journey aspect altogether, but I just think that more of an effort could have been put into differentiating one city to another - In order to keep the whole ‘friendship happy times’ vibe going with the main cast, Sanderson sacrifices the otherworldly allure that the kandra have; they used to be these mysterious unknowable creatures who wear the faces of humans, but now because all the characters need to banter with one another, all the kandra do is make ‘oh-so-funny’ blasé remarks about how morbid they are, which gets old really fucking quick -> Oh yeah, this shit is also applicable to traveller characters from mysterious long-lost kingdoms; Sanderson is just really good at ruining the allure and mystique of enigmatic characters and concepts - Now speaking as a person who writes book reviews that include at least one swear word every sentence, it can be surmised that I am a great advocate of the use of invective, and I take umbrage on this book’s flat-out refusal to incorporate curses and instead pussy-foot around with silly made-up swear words that lack the punchy impact necessary for a swear word to work - I noticed it once in Hero of Ages, but man Sanderson is really unsubtle with his incorporations of characters who are relevant to the entire Cosmere universe that he is creating (namely whoever the fuck Hoid is); my complaint is less that he’s trying to build this big expansive universe, because usually I love that shit, but more that if you’re going to make all these interlinking connections from all the different worlds, than maybe make the inclusion of Hoid actually mean something, instead of just being mentioned? -> Now obviously this matters very very very little on this book as a whole, so I suppose you can count this as just a minor and incredibly petty criticism against Sanderson’s works as a whole; I’m a great fan of petty criticisms - 7.5/10

I have a load of other book reviews on my blog, check that shit out.