#so maybe I should just go with the flow without overthinking

[meliohy]

GUESS WHO IS GETTING A FULL ARM TATTOO?

[crossvise]

Summary; reader and Phil have a fight and says some hurtful things but they make up in the end.

Warnings; some swearing and some hurtful words

angst ( with a good ending )

Recovery was hard and painful both physically and mentally, it was challenging and sometimes, you were just upset at the whole world that it had to be you. Phil was barely back in the WWE and got badly injured on the first big event he participated.

That night, you were there backstage, watching the men’s Royal Rumble, you saw that DDT and how Phil was different after taking it. You could’ve sworn something was wrong- the way he kept reaching for his elbow, you were honestly more worried about this than the outcome of the match.

When he came back after losing against Cody, your fears were confirmed as his elbow was wrapped in ice. At that time, you didn’t even know how bad it truly was, yet your heart broke for him- he didn’t deserve to go through that. He was finally back and his moment was taken away from him.

Before you even had the confirmation that Phil’s injury was a torn tricep, you promised him you’d be there for him for each step of recovery- no matter if it would be a short or long one. Sadly, what was suspected ended up being right, your boyfriend would require surgery for his torn tricep and would be out for months.

It had been a couple of weeks since the Royal Rumble and Phil’s injury, it hadn’t been easy but you had been there for your boyfriend- you tried your best to make his life easier wether it was bringing a few more cushions on the sofa so his arm could lay comfortably or do chores that weren’t easy with one arm.

However, the last few days were getting harder, mostly for Phil but you were the one who had to suffer through his bad mood. You knew he probably didn’t even realize he was being an ass, so you just let it flow, you didn’t want to cause an argument as you never had a big one with your boyfriend and you wanted it to remain that way.

Today, Phil had been in a particularly bad mood- everything seemed to annoy him, even your mere presence. You didn’t say much and just let him be for the time being. When you came back from work, Phil wasn’t back from rehab for his elbow- which was unusual. It became a routine for you to get back home and be greeted by your boyfriend, then you’d go on a walk with Larry.

It wasn’t without your heart feeling heavy that you went on a walk with Larry. Phil adopted him years ago, way before you, but from the start of your relationship, Larry became so important to you, in a way, he was like your son. You tried not to overthink during your walk but it was hard- you were wondering if you had done something wrong? Perhaps, it was worse than that and Phil didn’t love you anymore.

Larry and you made it back home at the same time as Phil but you didn’t address him a single word until you were sitting on the couch- you were too upset with him to start a conversation.

Phil probably realized something was wrong as you didn’t initiate a conversation or even ask him how rehab had been today, “ how was work? ”

“ Fine. How was rehab? ”

“ Fine too.”

You nodded, not having much to say but a part of you was also being petty and chose to give him as much energy as he gave you. Phil sighed, “ are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“ There’s nothing going on.”

“ I’m not stupid, y/n. You usually ask me right away how rehab was, you always talk to me but not today?”

You shrugged, hesitating a few seconds, wondering if you should bring up his behavior for the past few days- it couldn’t keep going like this, “ I don’t know, you’ve be an ass to me for the past few days and I don’t get why. I don’t get it, I’ve been doing my best to make sure you’re not in pain or doing something that could hurt you more.”

“ Didn’t you consider that maybe I don’t need you to do all that? I’m not helpless, I’ve been through plenty of injuries and surgeries. It’s sweet that you want to help me but honestly? You’ve been suffocating.”

Those words stung like hell, you didn’t really expect to hear that in all honesty, all you wanted was to make it easier for him, “ and you couldn’t just tell me I was doing too much instead of being an asshole?”

“ Oh come on! I was not an asshole, I’ve just been annoyed with you.”

“ Okay, I won’t do anything for you anymore.”

Phil rolled his eyes dramatically, accompanied by a loud sigh, “ that’s not what I said, don’t dramatize it. I just want to breathe, to be left alone and not have someone babying me as if I’m not a grown ass man.”

“ This someone happens to be your girlfriend Phil, and I was not babying you. I’m sorry if it seemed that way, I just wanted to help.”

“ Well, if I had known you’d be like this when we got together, I would’ve thought twice before asking you out.”

If you had been shot at that same moment, you were sure it would’ve hurt less than Phil’s words, from the look on his face, he also realized what he said but it was too late to take it back. You choked up on your words as only a “ oh ” came out. Maybe you had been right when you wondered if he didn’t love you anymore, it sure seemed the case at this moment.

Tears in your eyes, you got up and rushed to your shared bedroom- you didn’t think much but if there was something you knew, it was that you didn’t want to see Phil’s face anymore today. You grabbed an empty sport bag and shoved a couple of clothes in it, you’d come back to get more if needed later.

Once you were done, you headed to your car but not before giving Larry a kiss on the top of his head. Phil rushed after you as soon as he saw you leaving with a bag, “ baby, please wait! ”

“ Fuck you, Phil.”

With that, you drove away from the place you called home- you hadn’t really planned where you’d go for the night, you just drove for a while to cool off and ended finding a hotel to spend the time. You had friends you could’ve crashed at for the night but you didn’t want to burden them with the fight you just had with Phil.

It was only later in the night when you were laying in the hotel’s bed that you finally dared to look at your phone- Phil had tried to call you countless of times and texted you a couple of times asking you to come back, that he was sorry and begging you to, at least, tell him you were somewhere safe.

Which you did, you replied with a simple and short “ I’m safe, sleeping at a hotel.” as soon as you hit the send button, you shut your phone off for the night and tried your best to fall asleep. It wasn’t an easy task, the fight you had with your boyfriend replying in your head for a majority of the night until exhaustion took over and allowed you a few hours of sleep.

The next morning, you found it hard to get up from bed, not only you had only gotten a couple hours of sleep but they also had been terrible- this bed wasn’t as comfortable as the one from home and honestly, sleeping without Phil next to you was hard. When you looked up at your phone, mostly to call in sick for work, you had a few more texts from your boyfriend.

Some were more apologies, other were begging you to come home or to give him the address so he could come to you to talk. Did you want to see and talk to Phil again after yesterday? You weren’t sure but you needed clarity- you wanted to know if he still loved you at least or if you were over.

The latter thought broke your heart a bit more than it already was, you didn’t really imagine your future without Phil in it- that’s why you ended up texting him the address of the hotel you were staying at for now.

Only an hour later, Phil was knocking on the door of the hotel room you were staying in- you had taken a shower and ate a little in the meantime but let’s be honest, you looked like a mess. You took a deep breath before you slowly opened the door and let Phil in with a barely audible “ hi. ”

Your boyfriend came with a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers, “ these are for you, sweetheart. ”

“ Thank you, they’re beautiful. ”

“ Not as beautiful as you.”

You dramatically rolled your eyes at this, these one liners wouldn’t be enough to have you forgive him, “ yeah, I look miserable today but thank you still. ”

“ You look beautiful even when you look tired. ”

“ So… you wanted to talk?”

Phil stayed silent for a second, as if he was carefully choosing how to words what he wanted to say, “ I’ve fucked up, I know it and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve said. I didn’t mean it, these past few days, I’ve grown really frustrated but not with you. With myself. I’m frustrated to have to stay back and miss many events, I thought this year was finally my year- that I’d get to main event Wrestlemania and keeping it all for me wasn’t the right move because I ended up lashing out on you when you just wanted to help.”

“ You should’ve talked to me, Phil. I don’t mind giving you space, I just needed to know that.”

“ I know and again, I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re suffocating, I like that you care so much for me, sometimes it’s a bit too much but that’s on me for not telling you to stop.”

You nodded, you were glad that Phil was finally opening up to you, that’s all you needed from the get-go. Yet, there was still a thought lingering on your mind and you needed clarification on it, “ do you still love me?”

“ What? Sweetheart, of course I love you! You’re the love of my life, you are so important to me. I’m sorry for being such an asshole that you thought I didn’t love you anymore.”

Pain could be read in Phil’s eyes and his words managed to reassure you, a small smile tugging you your lips, you said, “ this was the worst night in my life, I don’t think I can sleep without you anymore.”

Phil laughed at this and gently pulled you into a hug, you had missed him so much.

[negans-lucille-tblr]

My Worthless Love || Part Three

Summary: At first, Dean can’t believe his luck that he gets to date a porn star, but soon the cracks start to show, and Dean gets to see a totally different side to the industry that bursts his bubble and leaves him torn. 

Rating: 18+

Part Tags: Fluff, seduction, smut, slightly domme!Reader, slightly sub!Dean, second base, blowjob, p in v, mentions of porn, mentions of sex work, slight angst

Part WC: 2874

My Worthless Love Masterlist || Read this fic in full when you subscribe!

Dean’s POV

Dean lost feeling in his arm about half an hour into the movie, but he hasn’t said anything, enjoying the feeling of Y/N snuggled into his side far too much to make her move. Though, he can’t help but feel a little relieved when he sees the credits start to roll, meaning it’s finally over and she might move and give him his dead limb back. But after a few moments, he realises she’s not going anywhere, and looks down at her to see her eyes are closed, and she’s fallen asleep. He’s careful to shift his weight under her, removing his feet from the coffee table and sitting up a little straighter, scooping his free hand under her head to stop it from falling as he finally moves his trapped arm and attempts to lay her head down on a couch cushion instead, readjusting the blanket to cover her shoulders and arms. 

Standing up to his feet, Dean swings his arm around to encourage the blood flow to return, and reaches down for the TV remote to turn the movie off. He stares down at her for a moment, considering if he should attempt to move her to her bed without disturbing her once all the feeling has returned to his arm, or whether he should just leave her on the couch. Her couch is fairly big and comfortable, and it’s hardly cold, so the soft blanket draped over her frame will be enough to keep her warm throughout the night. He’d been careful in the three weeks since finding out about her work that he didn’t overstep any boundaries, determined to prove to her that he really is different. Dean just can’t quite work out if putting her to bed is a line he can cross or not. 

Maybe he’s overthinking it, but he decides it’s safer he doesn’t do it, just in case it is a boundary she’s not ready for him to break through yet, and takes a deep breath, clearing away the empty bowl that had popcorn in it not long ago, and gathering the empty beer bottles to clear away into the kitchen. When he returns, Y/N is still asleep, and so he decides he’s going to head home, leaving a text on her cell to explain his absence for when she wakes up in the morning. Not that he’s stayed the night yet, anyway. 

He reaches for his jacket and heads towards the door, trying to open it as quietly as he can so as not to disturb her, but the bolt on her door is pretty sturdy, and it clunks loudly when he tries to open it. He doesn’t look back, just keeps going, finally getting her door open and hoping he’s not woken her, when he hears her voice. 

“Sneaking out on me?” she accuses, and as Dean turns around he sees a soft smirk on her lips. 

“I didn’t want to wake you, and it’s pretty late, figured I’d outstayed my welcome,” he explains sheepishly. 

“You could never outstay your welcome,” she reassures him, sitting up and hugging the blanket to her body. 

Dean figures that now she’s awake, he can at least say goodbye the way they’ve grown accustomed to, and steps back into the apartment and closes her door, heading over to her to lean down and kiss her lips softly. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart, go back to sleep,” he tells her quietly, but before he can straighten up, Y/N reaches out and clutches the front of his shirt. 

“Wait, I’ve got something for you,” she tells him with a slight smirk, biting down on her bottom lip before throwing the blanket off of her body and getting up. “Wait there, okay?” she commands playfully. Dean holds his hands up in defense to indicate that he’ll do as he’s told, and perches himself on the arm of the couch as he waits. 

“Why don’t you give it to me tomorrow, you clearly need rest,” he calls through to her as she disappears into her bedroom. 

“No! I want to give it to you tonight, I planned it out!” He hears her call back. 

Dean’s not really sure what to expect, they’ve not exchanged gifts before, if this is even a gift at all, but he waits patiently, honouring the fact that whatever she’s about to give him, she wants to do right now. All he was going to do was go home and begin his binge of page four of her movie catalogue, anyway. He’s got to stop himself from going crazy somehow, and just seeing her has been enough for now. Sure, he’s counting down the days until he can do more than just see her, but he meant it when he said he wanted to take it at her pace, and he plans to stick by that. He’s not about to be one of those assholes that pressures her into something she’s not ready for. 

Dean’s snapped out of his thoughts when Y/N re-emerges from her bedroom, now dressed in a robe. He realises her hands are empty, though, and begins to grow a little confused. That is, until Y/N reaches for the tie on her robe, and starts to slowly tug it loose, and as the silk material begins to fall open, it reveals matching black lace underneath. Dean’s mouth automatically falls open at the sight. Thanks to her job and his new found obsession with supporting her work, Dean’s seen it all already, but never in person, and fuck, it’s so much better through his own eyes than a camera lens. 

“I was hoping you’d stay the night,” Y/N explains, playing with her robe, beginning to drape it over her shoulders and down her arms. “Unless you’d rather get home,” she adds, the slight smirk on her face giving away just how ludicrous she knows that idea is already. 

“Fuck,” Dean chokes out. “I mean… are you sure?” he manages to think to ask just in time. 

“I think I’ve made you wait long enough,” she nods, before smiling. “I trust you, Dean.” 

“I am so glad you do right now,” Dean admits, unable to take his eyes off of her. 

She giggles, dropping the robe completely to the floor. “So are you coming?” she prompts, nodding her head towards the open door of her bedroom, and Dean can’t get to his feet and clamber after her quick enough. 

Finally. 

That’s all that’s racing through Dean’s mind as he places wet, messy kisses along Y/N’s collarbone, feeling her hand push under the elastic waistband of his boxers, her fingers wrapping around his throbbing cock. He moans almost involuntarily, his one hand exploring every dip and curve of her body, the other digging into the pillow beside her head, holding his weight off of her. His wandering hand settles between her legs, his fingers pushing the soft lace out of his way so he can toy with her wet, warm pussy. 

Y/N moans and arches her back further into him, her grip on his length tightening a little, and Dean smirks against her skin at the response he’s been able to elicit from her. He’s fairly confident from his hours of what he’ll now call research that he knows what is going to make her make all those noises that have filled his bedroom the last few weeks. He’s imagined himself in place of whatever guy that has been lucky enough to accompany her. Now he just needs to put it into action. 

Dean slips a finger inside her, feeling her clench around him wrapping him in warm, soft velvet, and then he steadies himself on his knees between her legs, using his free hand to softly wrap his fingers around her throat. 

“Such a naughty little girl,” he growls, making her laugh breathlessly. 

But Dean’s surprised to feel her hand slipping out of his boxers, and he pulls away to see if he’s done something wrong. But Y/N is still smirking, and she places both her hands flat on his chest as she sits up. 

“Why don’t you lay down?” she suggests, though there’s something in her voice that makes it seem like maybe it’s more of a demand. 

Dean’s not complaining one bit, in fact his cock throbs in response as he eagerly moves to lay flat on his back like she’d told him to, looking up at her with his chest heaving. 

“That’s better,” she purrs, biting down on her bottom lip as a darkness washes into her eyes and she climbs further down the bed. She hooks her fingers into his boxers and begins to tug them, pulling them off of his legs completely and throwing them to the floor, his cock springing free and bouncing up to lay on his stomach, completely hard and begging for attention. 

He whimpers as he looks down his body at her, feeling completely at her mercy. This is so different to how she is in her movies, but Dean’s fairly sure that this is better. Especially when she slowly climbs back onto the bed, crawling up his body, mischief in her eyes, and Dean can’t wait to find out why. 

“Just relax,” she whispers, her hot breath ghosting over the shell of his ear. “Let me take care of you, baby.” 

Dean groans low in his throat, pushing his head back, deeper into the pillow beneath him as Y/N’s mouth leaves his ear and begins to travel south. Barely there kisses are placed over his chest and down his torso, and then he feels her wrapping her hand around his erection once more. The soft, sponginess of the inside of her lips encases his tip and Dean moans, his hand automatically reaching for the back of her head, but her own hand reaches out to grab his wrist, pushing it away and pinning it to the mattress at his side, before she begins to take him deeper into her mouth, swirling her tongue softly and beginning to suck a little harder. 

He clenches his hands into fists at his side, not knowing what else to do with them, and Y/N chuckles around his length when he assumes she notices, withdrawing and sitting up, Dean’s cock slapping against his stomach now completely spit sodden and even more desperate than it had been before. He almost whines when he sees her crawling backwards and climbing off the bed, but he cuts it short when he sees it’s only for her to remove the black lace underwear that she’d surprised him with. Now completely naked, she gets back on the bed, not taking her eyes off of his as she climbs a little higher up his body. 

Dean thinks his heart might beat out of his chest, and his lungs might explode – and his cock too for that matter. This is not how he ever envisaged it would go, but it’s so much more than he ever realised he needed. He watches as Y/N slowly straddles his waist, keeping her hips raised to begin with, and he hesitantly lifts his hand, wondering if he’s allowed to touch her yet. She doesn’t stop him this time, and so his hand reaches for her waist first, squeezing softly, before reaching up further, ghosting over her breast before settling on cupping the side of her face. Y/N leans into the touch and smiles gently before biting her bottom lip and resting her hands on his chest. 

“Are you ready?” she asks, like she needs to. 

Dean doesn’t even dignify the question with a response, and Y/N clearly wasn’t looking for one, anyway, because she reaches between them and guides him towards her core, beginning to lower her hips so he slides inside. She settles and doesn’t move for a moment, her nails softly digging into the soft muscle on his pecks, and then she wiggles her hips slightly and gasps for breath, before leaning down and kissing him breathlessly, and Dean can’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around her tight to keep her close.

“You’re quiet,” Y/N’s voice breaks the silence, and she slowly lifts her head from Dean’s chest to look at him. “What’re you thinking about?” 

Dean licks his lips, wondering if he should even voice his thoughts out loud. He doesn’t want to spoil their moment, not after something that incredible, but he also doesn’t want to lie to her, or make her think he’s closing off. 

“That was different to how I imagined it,” he finally admits, hoping he’s worded it right. 

Y/N cocks an eyebrow as a smirk begins to grace her lips and then she scoffs. “You’ve been watching my movies, haven’t you?” she accuses. 

Dean’s impressed she can read so far between the lines, but he instantly feels bad about the fact. “I’m sorry, look I won’t watch any more if you don’t want me to,” he reassures her immediately. 

She giggles slightly and shakes her head. “It’s fine, Dean. I did make you wait a long time, and I guess you were curious.” Dean doesn’t reply, a little ashamed by the fact still, but Y/N pushes through. “So how many have you seen?” 

“Urm, a few,” he attempts to lie, but immediately regrets his decision. He should just be honest with her, it’s for the best. “Okay, three pages of them.” 

“Jesus, Dean,” Y/N gasps and then laughs in disbelief. “That’s a little more than curious.” 

“What can I say? I got carried away, I guess.” 

Y/N scoffs again, shaking her head, “I’m surprised you wanted to watch that many. Didn’t you get jealous?” she pries. 

“Oh fuck yeah, I hate every single guy you’ve filmed with,” he admits unashamedly, making her laugh some more. 

“I kinda do too,” she whispers, like it’s a secret. 

Dean laughs this time, but then it dies a little when he considers what she’s actually telling him and why she might feel that way. He doesn’t like the thought of her having sex with men she doesn’t even like, even if that is good news for him and his jealousy. 

“Why do you do it?” he wonders, hoping he’s not crossed some kind of line. 

Y/N shrugs and climbs off the bed, reaching for another robe draped over the couch in the corner of her room. “It’s good money, and I’m good at it,” she explains. 

He doesn’t want to push further than that right now, especially not when he had promised her he’d never ask her to change for him, and any direction this conversation might go in could seem like he’s trying to talk her into quitting. They’ve barely been a real couple long enough for him to be entitled to any kind of opinion on the entire thing. 

“How did you get into it?” he asks next, lifting his head and tucking his arm underneath it. 

“I… needed money so I started dancing at a club, and there’s always scouts there, one approached me, I took the offer, here I am,” she briefly concludes. 

Dean can sense that she doesn’t really want to talk about it anymore, so he decides to stop playing twenty questions. He’s not really brought up her job much since the first time they talked about it, and while after sex seemed like a good time to start asking these things – especially when she brought it up in the first place – Dean’s now realising that him suddenly showing a big interest in her work after having sex with her might play on her insecurities about men using her. 

“Listen, Dean,” Y/N sighs, beginning to play with her fingers in front of her, and Dean worries that maybe she’s read too much into his curiosity and this isn’t about to go well. She approaches the bed and climbs back on, sitting alongside him as she continues to focus on her fingers. “I’m not that girl in those movies. I purposefully made her nothing like me so I could deal with it all easier,” she explains. 

Deal with it all? Deal with what? Dean wants to ask, but he’s done enough prying for today. 

“If that’s what you’re looking for then you’re wasting your time here.” 

“What?” Dean chokes out, suddenly realising her insecurities are about something very different. She thinks she’s not enough for him? “No, no sweetheart,” he sits up, rushing to reassure her. He reaches out and grabs her arm softly. “Hey, listen to me,” he encourages, waiting for her to lift her face as she looks him in the eye. “Tonight was better than I thought it could be. I prefer you… the real you.” 

A small frown flits over Y/N’s features for a second. “Really?” 

“Yeah, definitely,” he scoffs. “If I’m honest, at the start, I was just trying to give you what I thought you wanted,” he adds with a blush. 

Y/N laughs softly, shaking her head. “I just want you Dean, exactly as you are,” she confirms.

“Good, because I want you too,” he smiles, before kissing her softly.

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[movingmusically]

Caught Feeling - Chapter 9

Synopsis:

A dinner with Natalie leads to an impromptu visit to Hank’s bar. As the night unfolds, Y/N is confronted by Natalie’s concern over Hank’s drinking, sparking doubts she hadn’t anticipated. Despite the fun and intimacy of the evening, Y/N can’t quite shake the questions lingering in the back of her mind.

Word count: 4,676

Masterlist

It had been a month since the last time all of us managed to get together for one of our girls dinners. Life had a way of pulling us all in different directions—work, relationships, everything else that kept our schedules jam-packed. But somehow, we made it work. Tonight, though, it was just me and Natalie. The others couldn’t make it, and honestly, I didn’t mind. It gave me a chance to catch up with her one-on-one, something we hadn’t done in a while.

As I walked to the restaurant, I found myself reflecting on how much had changed in that month. Hank and I had been seeing each other regularly, but it wasn’t just about the dates anymore—it was the little things. The way he’d text me out of the blue just to ask how my day was going. The way we’d spend quiet evenings together, talking about everything and nothing, or sometimes just enjoying the silence. It all felt so… easy.

I wasn’t the type to jump into relationships, but with Hank, it never felt like jumping—it felt like I was finally finding my footing. There was something steady about the way we were together, like we’d found a rhythm without even trying. And as much as I tried not to overthink it, I couldn’t help but wonder how we’d managed to get here so quickly. It wasn’t overwhelming or scary, though. Just… right.

The restaurant came into view, and I spotted Natalie waiting by the door. Her dark hair gleamed under the streetlights, and as soon as she saw me, she waved, her familiar grin already in place.

“Hey, you,” I called as I approached.

“Hey yourself,” Natalie replied, pulling me into a quick hug. “I’m starving.”

Inside, we found a cosy corner table. It was a little quieter than usual tonight, which suited me just fine. Natalie and I hadn’t had a proper catch-up in ages, and I was looking forward to a laid-back evening.

We settled in, ordered drinks, and caught up on the usual—how work had been going for her, all the madness happening at the clinic for me, family. It was easy, like it always was with Natalie. She was one of those people who never seemed to need anything from you, but she was always there when you needed her. Solid, funny, and just the right amount of sarcastic.

As the conversation flowed, Natalie leaned back, taking a sip of her wine and eyeing me with a raised brow. “So, how’s it going with Mr. Bartender?” she asked, a glint of curiosity in her green eyes as she sipped her wine.

I felt that familiar warmth in my chest, the kind that had become a constant over the past few weeks. “It’s going really well,” I admitted, unable to keep the smile from creeping onto my face. “It’s just… easy, you know? We’re spending a lot of time together, and it doesn’t feel forced. We just… fit.”

Natalie’s dark eyes lit up with curiosity. “So, no red flags yet? No skeletons in the closet?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Not yet, no. He’s kind, thoughtful… and okay, yes, he’s really hot. But it’s more than that. We just get along so well, and it doesn’t feel like we’re trying too hard.”

Natalie raised her wine glass, smirking over the rim. “Sounds too good to be true.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, though my smile didn’t falter. “But I’m not overthinking it. It feels good, and I’m just… going with it.”

Natalie’s lips curled into a teasing smile. “I don’t know if I should be happy for you or jealous. You’re practically glowing, you know that?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Shut up.”

“Seriously though, he sounds amazing. And you look… really happy,” she said, her tone softening just a little. “I know we give you a hard time, but you deserve someone who makes you feel like this.”

Her words hit me in a way I hadn’t expected, and I felt my chest tighten with gratitude. Natalie wasn’t one for heavy emotions, so when she said something heartfelt, it always carried weight.

“Thanks,” I murmured, glancing down at my glass of wine. “He’s really… he’s been really good to me. Better than I thought possible, if I’m being honest.”

“So,” Natalie said, leaning forward, her tone shifting back to playful. “When do I get to meet this mystery man? You can’t keep him hidden forever.”

I chuckled, swirling the last of my drink. “Soon, I promise. It’s just—”

Natalie wasn’t having it. “How about now? Let’s go see him at work.”

Her suggestion caught me off guard, and I looked up, surprised. “Now?”

“Yeah! Why not?” she grinned. “I’ve heard so much about him. Plus, I want to see this ‘easy-going, thoughtful’ guy in action. Come on, let’s go check him out.”

I hesitated for a second, but I couldn’t deny the little spark of excitement in my chest. “I mean… I guess we could.”

“What do you mean, you guess?” Natalie teased, already pulling out her phone. “Let’s go. Call him and let him know we’re coming. I’m dying to see this guy.”

With a small laugh, I pulled my phone out of my bag and scrolled through to Hank’s number. My heart did a little flip as I tapped his name, the phone ringing in my ear. After a couple of rings, he picked up, his voice instantly familiar and warm.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey,” I said, my smile growing. “So, Natalie and I just finished dinner and were thinking about stopping by the bar. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Hank replied, his voice lighting up. “I’d love to meet her. I’ll be here all night.”

“Great,” I said, feeling that little flutter in my chest. “We’ll see you soon, then.”

“Can’t wait,” he said, and I could practically hear the smile in his voice before we hung up.

I looked over at Natalie, who was watching me with a raised brow and a knowing grin. “He sounded happy.”

“He’s always like that,” I said, slipping my phone back into my bag. “Just… warm.”

Natalie waggled her eyebrows. “Well, I can’t wait to see for myself. Let’s go.”

I laughed, shaking my head at her antics, but I couldn’t deny the little buzz of excitement I felt as we headed out of the restaurant and towards the bar. Seeing Hank while he was working, introducing him to Natalie—it all felt like the next step in whatever this thing was that we were building. And despite my nerves, I was ready for it.

We left the restaurant and made our way to Paul’s, Natalie chatting animatedly beside me about her week, the conversation flowing effortlessly. My mind kept flickering between her words and the upcoming introduction. I’d never brought a friend to see Hank before. It felt like a moment of significance—an intersection of two parts of my life that had yet to fully overlap.

The bar came into view, its soft glow spilling out onto the street. Natalie nudged me as we neared the door, a grin plastered across her face. “You ready for this?”

I laughed, though I could feel my stomach fluttering. “I guess we’ll see.”

Inside, the bar was bustling, but not so packed that it felt overwhelming. The low hum of conversation filled the room, and I spotted Hank behind the bar, his tall frame moving easily as he served drinks. He was wearing that same confident expression I’d come to love, his blonde hair slightly tousled, like he’d just run his fingers through it.

“There he is,” I murmured, nodding in Hank’s direction. Natalie followed my gaze, her eyes lighting up in appreciation.

“Holy shit, Y/N. You didn’t mention he was that gorgeous,” she said, her voice low, though there was a teasing edge to it.

I blushed. “You don’t need to tell me that.”

She grinned. “I mean, come on. That smile? He’s like something out of a movie.”

As if sensing our gaze, Hank’s eyes found mine from across the room, his face breaking into a warm smile. He raised a hand in greeting, then signalled for us to come over. My heart skipped a beat, and I nudged Natalie playfully. “Come on, let’s go meet him.”

We weaved through the crowd until we reached the bar, Hank already leaning forward with that easy, confident posture. “Hey,” he greeted me, his voice carrying that familiar warmth. “Glad you came.”

“Hey,” I said, smiling up at him. “This is Natalie.”

Hank’s gaze shifted to Natalie, his smile never faltering. “Nice to meet you,” he said, extending a hand.

Natalie took it, her expression playful but clearly impressed. “You too. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she teased, shooting me a sideways glance.

“Oh yeah?” Hank’s eyebrows lifted in amusement. “All good, I hope?”

Natalie winked. “Mostly.”

I rolled my eyes, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks, but Hank just chuckled, his attention flicking back to me. “You want a drink? It’s on the house, of course.”

“That’s why we came,” Natalie chimed in before I could answer, grinning. “Drinks and to check you out in action.”

Hank laughed, grabbing a couple of glasses and expertly mixing our drinks. Natalie leaned closer to me as he worked, whispering, “Okay, now I see why you’re glowing. He’s a total catch.”

I couldn’t help but smile, watching as Hank slid our drinks across the bar with a smoothness that made it look effortless. “For you, ladies.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking my drink and feeling that familiar warmth spread through me. Hank always had this way of making everything feel easy, even in moments like this.

“So,” Natalie started, taking a sip of her drink and turning her attention back to Hank. “Y/N tells me you’re pretty great. But I need to know—is she right, or is she just being nice?”

Hank chuckled, leaning against the bar with that lopsided grin. “I guess that depends on who you ask.”

Natalie smirked, clearly enjoying herself. “Well, you’ve passed the first test. You’re as charming as she said.”

Hank’s usual easy smile flickered for a split second, just the slightest pause before he replied, “Good to know,” his voice smooth, but a beat too late. His gaze flicked away momentarily, as if trying to find something else to focus on. But then his eyes landed back on mine, and the familiar grin was back in place like nothing had happened.

“You sticking around for a while?” he asked, his tone lighter, but I didn’t miss the subtle shift.

I nodded, feeling that little spark of excitement again. “Yeah, we thought we’d hang out for a bit, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it is,” Hank replied, his smile widening. “I’ll come check on you between orders.”

As he moved off to tend to a group at the other end of the bar, Natalie nudged me again, her grin impossible to miss. “Okay, seriously, he’s even better in person. I totally get it now.”

I laughed, sipping my drink. “He’s something, isn’t he?”

Natalie nodded, her eyes tracking Hank as he worked. “Yeah, and you guys seem to click. Like, really click. It’s nice to see.”

I smiled, feeling a sense of pride and contentment settle in my chest. “Thanks. It feels like it’s going really well.”

We found a couple of seats at the bar, tucked away at one end where it was a bit quieter, but still close enough to the action. It gave us some privacy while keeping us right in the middle of things.

The place was buzzing, but not overwhelmingly so, the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses creating a comfortable backdrop. Hank moved easily behind the bar, tossing drinks together with an effortless kind of grace. Every now and then, he’d glance our way, and when our eyes met, that familiar, easy smile of his would tug at the corners of his mouth.

“I can’t believe you’re not here all the time,” Natalie teased, nudging me with her elbow. “If I had a guy like that making me drinks, I’d probably be living in this bar.”

I laughed, taking a sip of my drink. “Trust me, it’s tempting.”

Hank came over again, this time leaning against the bar a little closer, his grin just as playful as before. “You ladies doing okay? Need another round?”

“We’re good for now,” I said, smiling up at him. “But don’t let us keep you from your work.”

Hank winked. “Work’s more fun with you two around.”

Natalie raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by his charm. “Well, aren’t you smooth? No wonder Y/N’s head over heels.”

There it was again—that small flicker of hesitation in Hank’s smile, almost imperceptible. He covered it quickly with a laugh, but I saw the way his hand clenched the bar just a little tighter. “I just call it like I see it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, rolling my eyes, though the warmth in my chest didn’t go unnoticed.

We exchanged a quick look, that familiar spark of something passing between us, before Hank straightened up, grabbing a beer from under the counter. He cracked it open with one hand, taking a quick sip before setting it down behind the bar.

Natalie’s eyes tracked the bottle, her brow furrowing just slightly, but she said nothing.

As the night went on, Hank stopped by a few more times, each time with that same easy smile, teasing both of us with playful banter. Natalie kept up her end, shooting back comments that had me laughing, and Hank would respond with that quick wit of his, never missing a beat.

But as the drinks kept flowing for the customers, I noticed Hank grabbing another beer here and there. At first, it was subtle—a quick sip in between mixing drinks, his movements so smooth you wouldn’t catch it if you weren’t paying attention. But then Natalie leaned over, lowering her voice just enough for me to hear.

“Is he drinking while he’s working?” she asked, her tone light, but there was a hint of something more beneath it—something uncertain.

I glanced at Hank, who had just taken another swig from his beer before setting it back down behind the bar, out of sight from most of the customers.

“I… don’t know,” I murmured, suddenly feeling a flicker of discomfort. “Maybe it’s just one beer?”

Natalie’s eyes narrowed slightly, but she shrugged it off, forcing a smile. “I guess. I mean, it’s not like he’s getting drunk or anything.”

“No, of course not,” I agreed quickly, though I couldn’t shake the small knot forming in my stomach. Hank didn’t seem drunk—far from it. He was still sharp, still himself. But something about Natalie’s observation stuck with me.

She gave me a small, reassuring smile, her hand resting on my arm. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Just wanted to check in with you.”

“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile in return. “It’s probably nothing.”

Still, as Hank returned to the bar, flashing us both that same charming grin, I couldn’t help but feel like there was a subtle shift in the air—a question I hadn’t thought to ask, one that was now lingering in the back of my mind. I pushed the thought away, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening, but Natalie’s words stayed with me, hanging in the space between us like a quiet reminder that things weren’t always as simple as they seemed.

The bar had quieted down a little, the earlier buzz settling into a comfortable hum. Hank found a few moments here and there to stop by, leaning against the bar with that effortless ease I’d come to expect. He slid into our conversation naturally, throwing in a few quips that had Natalie laughing along with him. Everything felt easy, fun, like it always did when Hank was around.

But then, Natalie glanced down at the beer Hank had been nursing on and off throughout the night. Her laughter faded slightly as she raised an eyebrow. “So, do you get to drink on the job, or…?”

Hank followed her gaze to his drink, his smile never faltering. “Perks of the job, I guess,” he said with a wink. “Just a few beers to take the edge off when it’s a slow night.”

Natalie chuckled, though I caught the brief flicker of something in her eyes—something questioning. “Seems like a pretty laid-back gig.”

Hank shrugged, taking another sip and leaning in a little closer, his voice dropping into a playful tone. “Laid-back when I want it to be, crazy when I don’t. Keeps things interesting.”

I laughed lightly, trying to keep the mood light, but Natalie wasn’t quite done. “You don’t think that might be, you know, a bit too much sometimes?”

Hank’s grin never wavered, but there was something tight in his eyes, a flicker of something uncertain, maybe even defensive. “Trust me, I’ve got it under control. Besides, one or two beers never hurt anyone.”

Natalie nodded slowly, her eyes flicking over to me for a split second before she took another sip of her drink. “Sure, just curious.”

There was an unspoken tension in the air now, subtle but undeniable. I glanced between them, feeling the small knot of unease forming in my stomach. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it—it wasn’t a big deal, right? Hank seemed fine, totally in control, and Natalie was probably just being protective. Still, her question lingered in the back of my mind.

As the night continued and the bar buzzed with its usual energy, I noticed Hank’s glances becoming a little less playful and a little more introspective, especially during those quiet moments when he thought I wasn’t watching. It was subtle—he’d serve a drink, smile at a customer, then his gaze would flick over to me and Natalie, and for just a second, I saw something… heavier behind his eyes. But every time I tried to catch his gaze, he’d flash that easy smile and the moment would disappear.

At one point, as he brought over another round of drinks, Natalie leaned over and joked, “You’re going to have to step up your game, Y/N. This guy is setting the bar pretty high.”

Hank’s smile faltered for just a moment before he quickly recovered. “I wouldn’t go that far,” he said, his tone light but not as confident as before.

I laughed it off, but the quick shift in his expression stuck with me. I knew Hank wasn’t one for showing vulnerability, but something about the way he brushed off Natalie’s compliment made me wonder if there was more going on beneath the surface than I’d realised.

Trying to shift the focus back to something lighter, I smiled at Hank. “So, what’s the craziest thing that’s happened while you’ve been working?”

Hank immediately grinned, leaning a little closer, and I could see that familiar mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Oh, I don’t even have to dig too far back for that one. Remember Lisa’s birthday?”

I groaned, laughing as the memory rushed back. “Oh no, don’t remind me.”

Natalie’s interest piqued. “Wait, what happened?”

Hank jumped in before I could even start to explain. “Well, it started as your usual birthday celebration—everyone having a good time, you know? But by the time the shots started coming in hot, it turned into a full-on circus. Drinks spilled everywhere, and someone decided that dancing on the bar was a good idea.”

Natalie’s eyes lit up as she laughed. “Oh God, that sounds familiar! This one,” she nodded towards me, “used to be just as bad in college. If there was a party, you could count on Y/N to be right in the middle of it. We were a dangerous combination.”

“Oh really?” Hank raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying this revelation. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the party type.”

Natalie snorted. “Oh, she had her moments. Theme parties were our thing, weren’t they?”

I nodded, unable to hold back a smile. “Oh God, remember Aisling’s birthdays? The cowgirl theme? And her ‘sexy army’ party?”

Hank raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Sexy army?”

Natalie laughed, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Yeah, Y/N was in a full-on cowgirl get-up one year—boots, hat, the whole thing—and another year, we did the whole camouflage thing with tiny shorts. We looked ridiculous, but we thought we were killing it.”

I covered my face, laughing despite myself. “We spent more time on the floor than anywhere else, though. We never knew when to stop.”

Natalie nodded in agreement, raising her glass in a mock toast. “We always ended up half-dressed, too drunk to stand, thinking we could handle just ‘one more shot.’ We were a disaster.”

Hank was practically doubled over at this point. “You two were trouble, huh?”

“Total trouble,” Natalie said proudly. “But we survived. Even if it meant we spent half of our college years hungover.”

I shook my head, but I couldn’t stop smiling. “Well, we had fun, didn’t we?”

“The best kind of fun,” Natalie said, her grin softening slightly as she took a sip of her drink. “We were always there for each other too, no matter what kind of nonsense we got into.”

Hank, still chuckling, looked between us with a newfound appreciation. “I’m starting to understand why you two are so close.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Natalie said, giving me a fond look. “Y/N’s one of the good ones, even if she tried to convince everyone otherwise with her rebellious phase.”

I shrugged, pretending to look modest. “It’s because I’m so shy, I needed some Dutch courage to help me out, I’ve mellowed out since then. I think.”

Hank shot me a teasing glance. “I don’t know… You’ve still got a bit of that wild side.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, unable to hide my smile. “I’m very well-behaved these days, thank you very much.”

Natalie laughed, lifting her glass in a mock toast. “To good times, bad influences, and surviving college. And hey, Hank, maybe one day you’ll get to see just how rebellious Y/N can be.”

Hank grinned, leaning in a little closer. “I’m looking forward to it.”

The playful banter between us lingered, filling the air with laughter and lightness. Even though Natalie’s earlier concerns still floated at the back of my mind, the atmosphere had shifted back to something fun, something easy, the way it always seemed to feel when I was with Hank.

The evening passed quickly after that, the conversation flowing between the three of us with an easy rhythm. Hank kept the jokes coming, and Natalie even seemed to relax a bit, though I couldn’t quite tell if she had fully let go of her earlier concern. By the time she checked her watch and announced she needed to head home, the bar was starting to wind down, and a comfortable quiet had settled over the room.

“I should get going,” Natalie said, pushing her chair back and grabbing her bag. “Early start tomorrow.”

I nodded, standing up to walk her out. “I’ll make sure you get a cab.”

Hank gave her a quick smile. “It was nice meeting you, Natalie. Hope to see you around again.”

“You too, Hank,” she replied, flashing him a smile before turning to me. “Ready?”

We stepped outside into the cool night air, and I noticed the way Natalie’s shoulders relaxed once we were away from the noise of the bar. She glanced up and down the street, spotting an approaching cab before turning to face me.

Natalie shot me a sympathetic look. “I wasn’t trying to be a downer about the beers,” she said gently. “But… just keep an eye on that, okay?”

I nodded, feeling the weight of her words settle into my chest. “I will. I promise.”

Natalie gave me a quick, reassuring squeeze on the arm as the cab pulled up to the curb. “I’m sure it’s fine. He seems like a great guy, really. Just… you know, look out for yourself too.”

“I will,” I repeated, managing a small smile. “Thanks for tonight.”

“Anytime,” she grinned, pulling me into a quick hug. “And text me when you get home, alright?”

“Will do,” I said, stepping back as she climbed into the cab.

I watched as the car pulled away, disappearing down the street. For a moment, I lingered outside, breathing in the crisp air and letting Natalie’s words sink in. She wasn’t wrong—Hank did drink while he worked, and maybe it wasn’t ideal, but he seemed fine. It didn’t seem like a problem, at least not right now. But the fact that she had noticed, that it had been enough for her to mention it… it gnawed at me.

And then there was something else too, something I couldn’t quite shake—those fleeting moments of hesitation in Hank’s smile tonight. It wasn’t like him to falter, not even for a second. But I’d seen it—the way his expression had shifted ever so slightly when Natalie called him a “total catch,” the way he seemed to brush off compliments like he wasn’t sure he deserved them. It was subtle, but it was there.

Shaking off the unease, I turned and headed back into the bar. The warmth of the place wrapped around me as soon as I walked in, the familiar hum of music and chatter bringing me back to the present. Hank was leaning against the bar, talking to one of his colleagues, but his eyes lit up when he saw me coming back. He smiled, that same easy smile, but now I couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on beneath the surface. Was it as easy for him as he made it seem? Or was he feeling the same quiet questions that had started to stir in me?

“All good?” he asked as I approached.

“Yeah, she got a cab,” I replied, sliding into the barstool closest to him. I gave him a teasing smile. “She thinks you’re charming, by the way.”

Hank chuckled, resting his arms on the bar and leaning toward me. “Is that so? I’m glad I passed the friend test.”

“You did,” I said, laughing softly. “She’s protective, though. You’ll have to keep impressing her.”

He grinned, leaning in closer. “I’ll make it my mission.”

We shared a quiet smile, the kind that felt easy and familiar, the connection between us palpable even in the midst of the noise around us. For a moment, I forgot about Natalie’s concerns. I forgot about everything except the way Hank’s gaze seemed to soften when he looked at me, the way his presence had become something I looked forward to at the end of the day.

“She wasn’t too tough on me, was she?” he asked, his tone light but laced with a hint of curiosity.

I shook my head, brushing it off. “Nah, just… you know, asking the usual questions. She’s just looking out for me.”

He nodded, understanding. “I get it. Friends are supposed to do that.”

I hesitated for a second, still feeling the weight of Natalie’s words pressing at the edges of my thoughts. But I didn’t want to turn the conversation into something heavy, not tonight. Instead, I leaned forward slightly, giving him a teasing smile. “I think you did pretty well. She liked you.”

“That’s good to know,” Hank replied, his eyes twinkling. “Because I was definitely trying to impress her.”

I laughed softly, leaning against the bar. For now, the moment felt right, and I wasn’t going to let anything ruin it. Whatever concerns lingered in the back of my mind could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, I just wanted to enjoy the way Hank made me feel—like everything was easy, like things were falling into place without me even trying.

Masterlist

[liminalpebble]

Lock and Key: Part 1 of 2 (A Professor Pine Story)

Part 2 link

AN: Part 1of 2, older/ instructor/Jonathan Pine x student/agent/femme reader

CW: Minors DNI. Smut in the next part, my loves.

“Again,” said Pine, glaring down at you through the dark frame of his glasses.

You slammed down the lock and picks in frustration, then rubbed at your temples where a headache was creeping in. Your hands reeked of metal and WD40. You'd been at this, stuck in his office, all afternoon.

“It took 10 minutes, Pine! That's not half bad.”

“Professor Pine...and it's not half good either. Ten minutes is too long in field work.”

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, as he simply stared you down.

Silences never felt awkward for him, never seemed to make him the least bit uncomfortable. He had a way of observing so closely and quietly that it was absolutely preternatural.

“Do you ever blink?”

That actually did make him laugh, a tiny puff of a thing under his breath, the slightest flex of a smile on his unbearably handsome face. He fidgeted with his glasses; one of his few tells. It communicated, without a word, that the stoic Jonathan Pine was deeply concerned.

The addition of lenses to his face was a recent, not to mention reluctant, one. He told himself that was the cause of his frustration, his unease; just that annoying little touch of plastic against his skin, a tiny chafe reminding him that he was older now. He told himself that's all it was, that it had nothing to do with you. He wasn't fooling himself.

Pine didn't think you'd notice, but you did.

You noticed a good deal more than he thought.

He moved toward the stopwatch again, then neatly and precisely placed the utensils back in front of you. His deft, practiced, fingers reset the lock in no time. He raise an eyebrow, his finger hovering over the button, silently asking if you're ready yet again.

You sighed and stretched your neck and back, rolling out a few sharp creaks and pops. You wiggled your fingers and took a deep breath. He tried not to notice the curve of your throat and collarbones as you moved, the way your deep breaths raised and lowered your soft chest in a mesmerizing rhythm.

“Can I at least talk to you this time? It might make it easier to get out of my head...find some kind of flow. I'm overthinking and I'm panicking...maybe...I don't know.”

He grimaced. Ideally, this should be silent. It would have to be on an assignment and he worried about that; about you.

That's why you were here, after all. Pine demanded your attendance in office hours because he was concerned for you...more than he ought to be, more than he had any right to be as your instructor. It had grown into much more than a professional interest.

It weighed on his conscience. In this line of work, he knew better than anyone how fatal attachments could be. You were a firecracker and he watched you in splendid wonder, even though you could burn him to the ground. His feelings for you were his deepest secret, and he kept it guarded like Fort Knox.

Jonathan combed a hand through his curls. They were growing quickly, getting unruly and it irked him. Pine wasn't used to wearing the styles and trappings of another man's life yet; he was a spy...the spy that took down Richard Roper, and now he was a man behind a desk, lecturing to future agents. It felt strange to be replaced in the field. He missed the adrenaline, the pumping blood, the danger...all things he was now beginning to associate with you.

Finally, after the deafening silence of his ruminations, he put his hands on his hips and huffed out a, “sure, okay. But just this once.”

He pushed the button and the clicking began; the regular, measured ticks of the watch versus the more firm and frenzied clicks of metal against metal as you finessed the pins.

“Gently!” he advised placing a hand on your shoulder. The sound of his crisp baritone and his proximity were doing nothing to help your focus. “I'm going to start calling you Attila the Hun!”

“What?”

“You work in a frenzy, you know? You're whip-smart but you're...reckless.”

click....click click

“Hrmm. Well, Director Burr seems to remember a time when you could be reckless too.”

He frowned and stopped his pacing. “She told you that?”

Click. Click. Tick tick tick.

“Hrrmm...not in so many words. I read between the lines. Do you like this new life? Are you less...reckless...*click* these days?”

Pine crossed his arm and resumed his slow journey to nowhere.“We're not here to talk about me, we're here to make you a competent field agent.”

You shrugged. “Well, that's going swimmingly, isn't it? *click click* I don't see why you're so obsessed with this analog stuff. I can bring a Fortune 500 company to its knees with a few keystrokes and you think this is something that I'll need to do?”

“Hacking can't help you if you're beaten and locked in a cellar.”

“Come on, that doesn't happen anymore.”

A needle-sharp, blue-eyed glare met yours.

“Does it? Did it happen to you?”

Tick. Tick. Tick.

“Time” he declared, ending the conversation, to his great relief and your frustration.

You gave a cocky little twitch of your head, meeting his appraisal with a smirk. You gestured to the lock.

“There. Open in five. Acceptable?”

He sat down next to you and brought it closer to his face.

“You've stripped it completely though. You might as well have used a bolt cutter.”

“So?”

“So, it's best not to leave evidence.”

“No one would notice that!,” you argued indignantly.

“I did.”

“You're....you're...an evolutionary anomaly.”

He chuckled, really chuckled this time, and it startled you. “What? I beg your pardon?”

“You're...different, Jonathan. You're too...everything...”

Your mentor sat, scooting closer. You could smell his aftershave. You could see that his pullover was not, in fact, black, but a subtle navy blue...fine and soft. Fine and soft as that vulnerable skin peaking out at the collar, the milky, pale, dip between his throat and his chest.

God, you wanted to touch him, wanted to run you tongue along that valley and devour him, feel his deep groans through the skin and sinew of his long neck as you'd kiss it...suck on it.

Your throat went dry and you cleared it to speak quietly, more uncertain than he'd ever heard you.

“You...you're perfect. You can't understand what it's like to struggle like this.”

“I assure you, I am very far from perfect...If you only knew.” He shook his head sadly, recalling some scar of a memory you couldn't discern.

You turned to face him, mere inches from each other.

“If I only knew what, Professor Pine?”

His Adam's apple bobbed with a swallow and he forced his breathing to slow. “That I am very...very...far from perfect. I'm only human. I make mistakes.”

Those lovely ocean eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips.

“And I think I may be about to make another one.”

@smolvenger and @muddyorbs and @gruftiela this is for you! I don't know who else might give a fuck, but feel free to share if you like it! Thank you for reading! Part 2 (the last one) coming soon. I promise not to leave you hanging too long.

[heartrpmusings]

MAGGIE LINDEMANN - HEADSPLIT lyric starters

RIP MY HEART OUT

"i ripped my heart out to give you life."

"you're the blood that flows through my veins."

"i'll be the shield that takes all your pain."

"i've been searching for a lifetime."

"every part of you is all mine."

"it's a foreign feeling - my wounds are healing."

"no one can shine as bright as you do, baby."

DIE FOR

"i'd hold my breath so you can breathe."

"reach out for my hand and follow me."

"find who you'd die for - that's who you live for."

"hold on to me now - 'til we're six feet in the ground."

"if you leave - would you find your way back?"

"without you - all the lights fade to black."

"guess that's why they say love is pain."

"you are the future - the vision i see."

"hold on to me now."

DEPRECATING

"how can you sleep in the dark when you're killing someone that is harmless?"

"believe in the bullshit you're lost in."

"how could you lie when you promised?"

"now karma's a bitch."

"if you love me, will you let me go?"

"if you loved me, you would let it show."

YOU HOLD MY LOVE

"you guard my heart from breaking."

"i've seen the truth beneath the lies."

"a part of me was left to die."

"trust has been my weakness."

"my soul has been too generous."

"for you, i'll always risk it."

"the love i feel for you's alarming."

"next to you is where i'm staying."

"nobody makes me feel like you do."

ONE LAST TIME

"the reaper's knocking - say your goodbyes."

"i'm losin' track of who i once was."

"think i'm scared i'll never love me."

"i try to hold on, but i'm losing grip."

"i'm going back to where i came from."

"i know it's easy to forget me."

24

"i can't catch the dreams i'm chasing."

"maybe i'm a little unstable."

"can i turn back the clock - just to make it stop?"

"i should be celebrating."

"add a year, blow out your candles."

"why am i tolerating?"

"what if i don't have a purpose?"

"this is what makes me feel worthless."

HOSTAGE

"hold me close - i overthink."

"hold me close - when my voice gets shaky."

"be patient with me."

"you bring me to safety."

"silence my thoughts."

"start to believe what i've been told."

"you keep me warm - my mind was cold."

"when you're next to me and i take your hand the fears let me go."

"when my mind feels lost and you shelter me - it sets me free."

"i'm in my head and it drives me crazy."

TAKING OVER ME

"anxiety is killing me."

"why can't i just let it be?"

"just another fuckin' day i'm drowning in these sins."

"hello, paranoia, acting like my best friend."

"i hear voices in my head - i bet they'll never end."

[shockmastervoidstate]

Manifested my vacation – "You are in Barbados"

In August, I decided to go on vacation in September.

However, I had a certain budget and I underestimated how sought after September vacations are.

It's because the weather is perfect. Slightly cooler than August, but still hot enough to enjoy the beach.

Finding a place to stay wasn't easy. A lot of hotels and vacation homes asked for very high prices.

But I wanted these things:

- a private home

- a balcony with beach view

I couldn't find what I wanted within my budget, and I almost compromised. I thought if my stay was a little bit shorter or I get a home without balcony or beach view, I could make it.

Then I remembered Neville and Abdullah.

I remembered the legendary story of the door slam.

When Neville wanted to go to Barbados, but didn't know how, and Abdullah just slammed the door in Neville's face when he asked what he should do.

Abdullah just said: "You are already in Barbados"

So Neville pretended to be in Barbados, and the rest is history.

I got inspired and pretended to be already standing on the balcony.

I remember when I visited my mom in hospital (don't worry, she's fine now) and I went to the balcony.

The view was crappy. You could just see a parking area, some old, ugly buildings and a few nurses smoking cigarettes in front of the entrance. It smelled like disinfectant and cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes and you could hear cars accelerating and honking occasionally.

That didn't stop me from using my imagination.

I imagined I was standing on the balcony of a vacation home, looking at the waves, smelling the beach, feeling a nice breeze on my skin.

I relaxed, as if I was happy to be where I wanted to be. I even said to my dad and my sister jokingly, look at the beautiful beach! Don't you smell the sea?

My dad and sis just laughed and said I have a very vivid imagination.

Indeed, and I got what I wanted.

I just started trusting myself and I kept looking for homes and kept sending messages to landlords with interesting homes.

Finally, I found a very nice apartment. I'm in it right now as I'm typing this.

It was close. I almost ran out of time or compromised, then I remembered Neville and acted as if my desire was already there.

I'm just enjoying life and thinking about what I want to manifest next.

Perhaps I'm overthinking. Maybe I should just go with the flow and turn any desire that comes to me to reality.

Maybe I want to live here permanently? Maybe I want a new car or something else. So many choices.

-shockmaster

[akuaya-eng]

(Main story) Chapter 4 - Episode 7

- OMENS OF CALAMITY -

Kai

We need to hurry to the Forbidden Room…! Mere should be there.

Tis

… But how much of what we heard earlier is true?

Kai

What do you mean?

Tis

I mean, Rosé always says weird things. Isn't this just a joke or him exaggerating?

Kai

I don't know… but it didn't sound like a joke this time.

Tuner

(thinking) Claude and the others were talking about it too, so it must be true… though it's probably best if I don't say that as the Tuner.

Kai

In any case, we have to report to Mere. He'll make the right judgment.

Tis

True, there's no point in us overthinking it.

Kai

………

Tis

Hey, Kai? What's wrong, are you tired?

Kai

No. I'm just a little concerned… if Rosé were to cause a calamity, that means the Belladonna family is behind it. If that's the case… I wonder if brother Rath is involved too?

Tis

Ah… what do you think? Maybe. I don't know. But I'm also curious about that weird scene we saw with Espada and Oscar earlier.

Kai

What was that? It looked like Oscar was killing a human…

Tis

But he doesn't seem like the type to do that. Despite appearances, he's quite serious.

Tuner

Do you talk to Oscar a lot?

Tis

Not a lot, but sometimes. I often meet him when I slack off and go to the human world to hang out. Oscar knows a lot about fun places and shops. He said he slacks off from work too.

Kai

So, you're slacking buddies? It doesn't seem like what a serious person would do.

Tis

But hey! Even though I slack off at work, I'm not a bad guy.

Kai

… I get what Tis is trying to say. I don't think Oscar is a bad person either, just rough around the edges. But, if you say that, the same goes for Espada…

Tis

Come to think of it, we didn't see what Espada was doing clearly in the water mirror earlier.

Kai

Yeah. It's not unusual for a devil to kill a human, but I don't think he's the type to take lives unnecessarily.

Tis

Why?

Kai

Because he found the plushie I dropped in the river earlier.

Tuner

In the river…?

Tis

Oh, is that the story where Kai was caught fishing in the river, Kai?

Kai

No. It was my plushie that got caught. Tis, you never listen properly. Anyway, I think Espada and Oscar must have had a reason…

Tuner

I think so too… I want to believe that. (vision goes blank) …!? What's this…? An image is flowing from the Drop of Wisdom--

----------

Mere

… To think that curses are overflowing even in here. Are these curses born from an angel...? There's no choice, I'll have to purify them with my own hands--

----------

Tuner

(thinking) Mere is purifying inside the Forbidden Room…

Tis

… Tuner? What's wrong, it looks like you're in a daze.

Kai

Yeah, you weren't here with us. What happened?

Tuner

It's just--

Spirit of Wisdom

Don't talk about it. You already know without me saying it, don't you?

Tuner

…!

Spirit of Wisdom

That's right, you must keep quiet. Revealing someone's secret is a taboo for the Tuner. Now, deflect the conversation. Here, I'll give you back your words.

Kai

Tuner?

Tuner

… It's nothing. Let's hurry to Mere.

Tis

…? Strange.

----------

Mere

There are too many curses… I can't believe such strong emotions were born from the angels.

Cursed angels

Oh, oh… Lord… why…

Mere

… Good grief. Without the power of purification, I wouldn't have been able to get into this place. What on earth is hidden here…

[cookie-run-kingdom-story]

Secret of the Slashed Painting: Epilogue

Walnut Cookie: Is everyone here? Good. Listen up, everyone! Walnut Cookie: This case has been cracked wide open! Walnut Cookie: This is what happened!

Gumball Cookie: Heard there was gonna be a fun exhibition at this museum… But NOPE! This place is BOOORING! Gumball Cookie: Where’s the color? The vibrancy? The REAL art?! I’ll show’em what a real masterpiece looks like! Herb Cookie: Gumball Cookie, be careful! Please don’t hurt the plants… Gumball Cookie: PSH! Don’t worry! My canvas… is the museum itself! BWAHAHA! Herb Cookie: That’s good to hear, have fun! I’m going to go and look at the unique collection of plants over there.

Gumball Cookie: *Cracks knuckles* NOW THEN! Time for me to show this boring museum what a real masterpiece is! Gumball Cookie: But this wall is bigger than I thought. I’m gonna need more paint! Hmmm… AH-HA! A warehouse! Maybe I’ll find some in there! Gumball Cookie: Huh? What’s all this? There’s nothing but gardening tools in here! Mustard Cookie: Gumball Cookie? What’re you doing in here? Gumball Cookie: ACK!? Oh! Wait… Mustard Cookie? I should be asking you that same question. I thought you hated museums like this! Mustard Cookie: Grams asked me to do something. And this is a good shortcut. Mustard Cookie: You hate boring places like this museum. Why are YOU here, huh? Gumball Cookie: Hmm… OK! I’ll tell ya, since you’re probably one of the very few who can even begin to fathom my artistic vision! Gumball Cookie: This place is so dull, so average, so plain! I’m gracing it with my own art: a flash of color, new life breathed into it with my gumballs! Mustard Cookie: You know what… You’re right. If all the “art” is in the building, then there’s no way every Cookie can enjoy them to the fullest. Mustard Cookie: I’m going to join you. I think this museum can use some thought-provoking graffiti! Gumball Cookie: Ya really are a true artist, aren’t ya, Mustard Cookie! True art is born from freedom! Gumball Cookie: Yeah, it- Hey, what’s that big clothing thing over there? Is something under it? Gumball Cookie: Is that a painting? Why’s it here of all places? Mustard Cookie: Is this that fancy painting that Cheesecake Cookie’s been talking about so much? ???: Didn’t know you two would recognize my butter painting technique. Mustard Cookie: Butter Pretzel Cookie? This is yours, isn’t it? What’s it doing in this warehouse? Gumball Cookie: Paintings don’t usually belong in warehouses? Butter Pretzel Cookie: How perceptive. This painting is the centerpiece of the Hors d’Oeuvre Museum’s exhibition. Gumball Cookie: So… why’s it here? Butter Pretzel Cookie: Because it’s unfinished! There are parts that need some touching up. A masterpiece isn’t created in a single day! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Do you know how long I’ve toiled and struggled on this painting? Gumball Cookie: Ya know what you need to do? Go with the flow! Do what you* heart tells ya! Don’t overthink it, just do it!

*actual text

Butter Pretzel Cookie: *TSK* That’s easier said than done! My technique isn’t as whimsical as spraying graffiti and blowing up paint! Gumball Cookie: WHAT?! My vision of art isn’t some- Mustard Cookie: Wait… Butter Pretzel Cookie. Were you ever happy while painting this thing? Butter Pretzel Cookie: …! Mustard Cookie: It’s like you can only talk about how hard it was… Mustard Cookie: Art is about expressing thoughts and feelings. Even if it’s not a masterpiece, you should still feel happy and proud of what you created? Butter Pretzel Cookie: That’s extremely naive… I must paint something extraordinary, every time! I have to, there’s no other way! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Unveiling an unfinished painting like… this wreck in front of me… This isn’t art! ARGH! Gumball Cookie: Hey, whoa there, easy! You’re really gonna ruin your work like that?! Butter Pretzel Cookie: It’s all over anyway… This exhibition, this painting, fruitless. All of it. Gumball Cookie: You can still paint without having to hold an exhibition you know. If you worked that hard on it, why’d you make a mess of it just now?

Butter Pretzel Cookie: *Sigh* I was an obscure nobody, painting with butter on the streets… An artist who rationed meals just to buy the best butter… Butter Pretzel Cookie: I remember being happy when I* my own technique for using butter. But even then, no one cared about me or my paintings.

*actual text

Butter Pretzel Cookie: But when Cheesecake Cookie bought my painting… For the very first time, I thought that I was finally recognized! Butter Pretzel Cookie: This unveiling at the museum is about proving to the world that my reputation isn’t some random fluke!

Butter Pretzel Cookie: But everyone here… They were all so excited, anticipating a grand masterpiece. I tried very hard but I just couldn’t paint anything better. Butter Pretzel Cookie: I’m a sham. I thought they’d be disappointed. Then an idea dawned on me. No one will be disappointed if they can’t see my painting. Gumball Cookie: Pressure! Anticipation! Heavy stuff to deal with…! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Huh? You mean that you… Understand my predicament? Gumball Cookie: Well, yeah! Creating something from nothing is an emotional journey, understood by all artists! Butter Pretzel Cookie: So there are like… Moments when you feel like this too? Mustard Cookie: Don’t put us in the same boat! But, yeah… I spend hours and hours thinking about what to do next. Gumball Cookie: My style of art is very different from yours, no doubt about it. But let’s face it… We all want to create art some way, right? Butter Pretzel Cookie: …You’re right. I-I’ve forgotten my roots. That satisfying rush of completing my first butter painting! Butter Pretzel Cookie: But tomorrow’s the unveiling ceremony… What point is there in painting something for my own happiness right now? Gumball Cookie: Snap out of it! You’re an artist! You’re not always painting for a single exhibition! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Yes, however… I’m not confident enough to continue down the path of being a painter… Mustard Cookie: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Inspiration isn’t something you can just squeeze out of a tube. Gumball Cookie: Hey, I’ve got an idea! Hear me out. What if we create something together? Gumball Cookie: New things, new ideas, new experiences! That’s what helps with inspiration, ain’t it? Ya might have fun with my vision of REAL ART! Mustard Cookie: Here, I’ll lend you a can of my spray paint. Push down on the button here and voila! Gumball Cookie: I don’t lend my cannon to just anyone, buuut… You’re an artist in your own right! SO here! I think you’ve got what it takes to handle it! Butter Pretzel Cookie: So many colors! It’s so dynamic! I’ve never used this many colors and shades before! Butter Pretzel Cookie: I never thought that I would enjoy such, such… FREEDOM! Gumball Cookie: Yeah, yeah, yeah! It’s liberating, ain’t it? Now create something to your heart’s content! Butter Pretzel Cookie: This feeling… This emotion… Yes, I remember. Gumball Cookie: That was fun! So much fun! Mustard Cookie: Hey, Butter Pretzel Cookie? What should we do with this painting? Butter Pretzel Cookie: It’s just… EURGH! I feel so frustrated just looking at it. I want to tear it apart… Mustard Cookie: Welp, that’s definitely a way to deal with it. Need a hand? Gumball Cookie: That might be just what the doctor orders! Forget about this and start with a clean slate. You might come up with a new idea too! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Thank you… Well then, shall we?

Butter Pretzel Cookie: Well… I guess that’s that. Tearing that painting apart was so… liberating! But what do I do now? Butter Pretzel Cookie: I still can’t think of something new to paint. And I need to finish it before sunrise… ???: Well, well, well! There were rumors of a grand masterpiece getting ready for display, but alas, am I too late to the party? ♪ Butter Pretzel Cookie: You?! You’re that famous thief, Roguefort Cookie! Are you here to steal my painting? Roguefort Cookie: That’s an upsetting way to greet someone, no? I am but a simple visitor tonight. I consider this museum a trove of jewels worth admiring. Butter Pretzel Cookie: What…? Oh, never mind. Anyway, nothing for you steal here.* As you can see, it’s ruined beyond all measure.

*actual text

Roguefort Cookie: I am in no rush! ♪ After all, beautiful works of art require time and patience. Roguefort Cookie: I look forward to our next meeting! ♪ Butter Pretzel Cookie: A bit bold for a burglar… Butter Pretzel Cookie: Oh! OH! I’ll tell everyone the painting was stolen! That way, I won’t have to show it to anyone.

Walnut Cookie: These were the turn of events on that fateful night! Walnut Cookie: There’s nothing that logic and deduction can’t solve! Almond Cookie: Hmm… Curator Emmental Cheese: Butter Pretzel Cookie… You fabricated this crime…? Butter Pretzel Cookie: Curator Emmental Cheese… Everyone… I am deeply sorry. Butter Pretzel Cookie: I-I-I didn’t think my actions would cause such a giant commotion… I should have just been honest and told you everything from the start. Butter Pretzel Cookie: I understand if the museum wants to cancel the exhibition and ban me from holding one ever again… Curator Emmental Cheese: The pressure of creation! The struggle against obscurity! Your initiative to step into the world of art And… and…! Curator Emmental Cheese: All those emotions, curdled together to mold a breathtaking masterpiece! What a wondrous tale! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Eh? You aren’t angry? Birthday Cake Cookie: I will admit, it was initially shocking. However, you had your reasons! I wholeheartedly understand. Birthday Cake Cookie: I know what it’s like to be unsatisfied with your work… The stress and pressure of it all, wanting it to be perfect. Birthday Cake Cookie: But I learned, the thing about parties is that they aren’t perfect on their own. It’s the Cookies who enjoy it that makes it perfect! Whipped Cream Cookie: Whenever you’re struggling with something, you can talk to us. We’re here for you! We can think over it together. Carol Cookie: We’re all the same in the world of creativity. I look forward to what you will show the world in the future! Chili Pepper Cookie: Paint something small next time. It’ll be easier to carry around! Almond Cookie: Chili Pepper Cookie. Are you openly admitting your intention to steal a painting in the future? Chili Pepper Cookie: Eep! I- erm… Did I say that out loud? Herb Cookie: Butter Pretzel Cookie! Come visit my garden one day. Talking to the plants might help you relax! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Thank you, everyone. Oh, and er… I won’t take it personally if you’ve decided to stop sponsoring me. Cheesecake Cookie: What do you mean? Hehe, this sort of thing won’t stop me from sponsoring you! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Cheesecake Cookie…! Cheesecake Cookie: When times are tough, it’s important to take a step back and relax! Besides, I don’t want my friend and sponsored artist to be stressed! Cheesecake Cookie: And planning new parties are* always an option!

*actual text

Butter Pretzel Cookie: Thank you, all of you… I… I’ve come up with an idea for my next painting just now! Strawberry Cookie: Oh wow…! Really? Curator Emmental Cheese: The Hors d’Oeuvre Museum keenly awaits your next desire to hold an exhibition! Our doors will always be open for you! Butter Pretzel Cookie: I promise to keep at it before this exhibition is over! I hope everyone will come see it once it’s done! Butter Pretzel Cookie: Walnut Cookie. Almond Cookie. Will you come too? Walnut Cookie: Absolutely! In the meantime, I’ll read some books about art!

Almond Cookie: Congratulations, Walnut Cookie. Case closed, and a job well done. Walnut Cookie: I’m glad I was able to help! And… I’ll keep trying to be a better detective. A detective who will never give up! Almond Cookie: You are already a great one. Thank you for cooperating with the investigation, Detective Walnut Cookie. Walnut Cookie: And thank you for believing in me, Detective Almond Cookie!

Birthday Cake Cookie: Lemon Cookie? How goes the prep for the concert? Lemon Cookie: Not bad. We’re on schedule. Birthday Cake Cookie: Excellent! This will indeed be the perfect party! Mint Choco Cookie: I heard that Butter Pretzel Cookie’s latest painting is quite something. Whipped Cream Cookie: I just know I will be inspired to dance the moment I lay eyes on it! Almond Cookie: Butter Pretzel Cookie’s face looks so… real. Very… realistic. *Sigh* I will never fully understand art. Walnut Cookie: Me too… I read a book about art before coming but… Truffle Cookie: You cannot learn everything about art from books, my dear.

Truffle Cookie: That face, that smile. Doesn’t the word “comfort” come to mind? Truffle Cookie: It’s simple really. What do you feel when looking at it? Almond Cookie: Hmm… The smile really does reflect a sense of comfort and relaxation. Walnut Cookie: And, even though this is the first time seeing it, it’s somehow very familiar! Walnut Cookie: Oh! Hello, Butter Pretzel Cookie! Excellent work on the new painting. Almond Cookie: A very intriguing piece of art. It’s very realistic, almost as if it’s ready to jump out of the canvas. Butter Pretzel Cookie: You’re both here! Thank you! Ever since then, I’ve learned how to work at my own pace, quite comfortably too! Butter Pretzel Cookie: And I’ll admit, out of all my recent paintings, this is my* probably my favorite!

*actual text

Walnut Cookie: Hey! That smile! It’s just like the one in the painting! Cheesecake Cookie: I truly adore your paintings, Butter Pretzel Cookie! Are you already considering your next- Huuh? Cheesecake Cookie: There’s something on the floor here… An envelope? An invitation? Walnut Cookie: That insignia?! Walnut Cookie: It’s Roguefort Cookie’s calling card! Let me take a closer look! Walnut Cookie: “A true marvel! Calculating logic has paved the way for imaginative inspiration on a grand jewel of art.” Walnut Cookie: “Hearken to me, dear Cookies. Upon starlight’s glow I will make my appearance to embrace the latest jewel to grace our eyes.” Almond Cookie: This is Detective Almond Cookie requesting back-up at the Hors d’Ouevre* Museum! Roguefort Cookie will attempt a theft tonight!

*actual text

Walnut Cookie: Roguefort Cookie…! I’ll get you this time! Walnut Cookie: We’re on the case, Butter Pretzel Cookie! Butter Pretzel Cookie: My painting is in your good hands, detectives!

[dadonbabysworld]

Skz Drabble — Alone (MinChan)

Author’s Note: this is a self insert but also a very specific one. Lots of it is my personal story from losing a parent. It’s hard sometimes; I’m here for anyone who needs it. Love you guys 🫶🏾

Wordcount: 1,617 (maybe I got carried away 😭)

Warnings: mentions of polyamory/ polyamorous relationships, descriptions of depression, loss of a loved one, a full bladder, suggestive at the end.

It was one in the afternoon. Nothing special about today; it was simply a Sunday. The birds chirped, the sun shined, and the wind blowed as cars came pass. Simple.

Yet, you lay in bed. Bound to bed by the leaps and bounds that is the world. You feel your heart getting heavier. You were triggered by the music playing in someone’s car as they drove pass. Your mom loved that song.

Now the tears won’t stop flowing. Your mind won’t stop going. Running and running trying to dodge all your problems. You fall back onto the bed covering your face as if that stopped the sobs that escaped you.

Sobs. For someone who only wanted you to not cry as their last wish. The pain of missing them and the guilt of not following their wishes keeps you wanting to do nothing but remain under the safety of your hands. So you do. You lay in bed with your eyes covered for a while.

Overthinking for a while. Would my mother be proud of me? Even on your best day, you aren’t the same person with your mother. Less motivated… less confident. Would she hate the person I’ve become? You lost the spark. Sometimes you debate on what you keeping going for. Is she even watching? Does it truly matter? You won’t get anything from her. Nobody else cares.

You eventually lay on your side staring at the window. Just clear, beautiful skies in view. The perfect juxtaposition to the mood inside your apartment right now. Dark, sadness looms over you. It’s been years. At this point, you should be fine right? Wrong.

Everyone applauds you for keeping it together. ‘Y/n is so strong’ ‘without my mom I don’t think I would make it y/n is an inspiration’. Unbeknownst to them, you are falling apart alone. You never let anyone know, never let anyone in. They all have too many things going on in their lives.

You had been in bed for way longer than expected at this point. It has been hours of overthinking and crying: a repeated cycle. You felt dehydrated, like your bladder was gonna explode, and exhausted. Yet, you remained in bed. In fetal position, you felt the safest from the world.

You were soon asleep. That’s why you didn’t notice Chan and Minho enter. Chan used his spare key. You hadn’t answered any of their messages or calls for a few days now. This was not normal; this is the longest slump you’ve been in since before you met them.

Normally, you can pull it together after a day. Possibly a few hours even. Three days you have spent at home now. You were convinced you would lose some of your skin complexion.

It was a mess in your house besides the living room. You kept the living room clean to keep appearances from neighbors. The kitchen had a stack of plates in the sink and the garbage was full. The bathroom had lots of tissues from crying on the sink and filling the garbage can. Also, some make up removal wipes because you tried to do your makeup at one point.

When they reach your room, they are prepared for the worst. Nerves eating at them and it showed on their faces.

“What if she’s not alive?” Minho whispers to Chan.

Chan shakes his head. “We’ll deal with it the best we know how..” He opens the door and is relieved you’re just sleeping. The light snores from your body alerted them immediately. Minho lets out a breath he was holding and holds his chest.

Your room: the most dirty of it all. Tissues, energy drink cans, water bottles, lots of plates and bowls, clothes on the ground, hair ties and jewelry just spewed about. The only jewelry missing is the necklace you always wear still on your neck.

“Maybe we should help clean? She doesn’t seem.. okay” Minho suggests. Chan simply nods. He is worried about you, and the condition of you and your place are concerning. Your house is normally rather clean, and you would be up doing some kind of studying or chores. Midday sleeping? Not the typical.

Chan takes on the bathroom cleaning the skin and shower first. While, Minho decides to focus on your kitchen. He starts with the dishes and counters. Chan was going to clean your bathroom mirror, but he saw the affirmations you wrote on it. ‘Tomorrow will be better’ in red lipstick. You weren’t doing okay… his suspicions were right.

Minho decided since the dishwasher was going and the counters were clean maybe he could clean the fridge and stove. The stove required little scrubbing. In the fridge, he found minimal things. Some soup, drinks, eggs, and fruit. The soup he recognized as something you mentioned you loved a lot as a child. Did you make it to feel comfortable? Did it work?

After they both cleaned the floors, they decided to clean your room. They were the most nervous about this because they could wake you. Minho gathered the garbage in a bag since he had taken all the dishes out earlier to put in the dishwasher. He could easily take the garbage out as well. It was part of the kitchen. Chan decided to do your laundry. He took the time to read every clothing label to sort and wash them correctly. They couldn’t clean the floor without waking you, so they decided to wait on that part.

You woke up to the sound of Chan and Minho talking somewhere. You didn’t even connect the dots yet. You groaned as you woke up. You didn’t go use the bathroom before sleeping now you felt the worst stomach pain ever.

Minho was alerted immediately and came to the room.

“Y/n-ah are you okay?” He questions, getting a little close to the bed.

“Can you help me to the bathroom, please?” You beg him. He immediately lifts you out the cover to which you moan in pain. “I’m sorry..” he mumbles. You shake your head. “This is all my fault. Let’s make this quick.” He hustles and helps you to the bathroom. Chan is also watching as you almost immediately go when your on the toilet.

He sighed. “I told you about holding in your piss!” You shrink a little. “I know I’m sorry Channie..” He was going to lecture you, but he hopes the pain is a lesson enough. You go to wash your hands afterwards still in pain. The pain takes a while to subside; it was actual torture and discomfort.

Chan carries you to the living room and sits you on the couch. Here you are between Chan and Minho as they both look at you. You have been exposed. It was a hard to even say anything. The men who you had been seeing were upset with you.

“I can- I can explain.” You stutter out as loud as possible. They nod in an agreement. “Go on.” Minho beckons.

“I.. I’ve had a hard few days. As you both know, I am without both my parents. My mother being the closest to me. I have just been reminded of her so much, and it hurts. Listening to the songs she likes, smelling the perfumes she wore, seeing people who look like her, and the worst of all is when I watch someone die in a movie or show. I can’t do it. My heart is too weak.” Chan rubs your back gently as he holds one of your hands. Minho wipes the tears you didn’t feel fall as he holds your thigh.

“Y/n.. we’re your boyfriends. Why not tell us? We were in the dark about you, your physical and mental state, and that is scary for us.” Chan softly spoke.

“I am prideful.. I can’t be weak even to the people closest to me. You guys always give me so much credit. Meanwhile it is so fucking hard! I take so long in the shower because I can cry in there without you guys seeing me. I just don’t want to worry you guys either. You’re super busy and going through things on your own tha-“ Minho cuts you off. He normally doesn’t interrupt, so you’re immediately confused but attentive.

“In a relationship, we are supposed to be there for each other 100% of the time. If the person needs something, you should be able to balance them. It is three of us. Please don’t feel like you have to be alone in anything. We love you. We care for you. We will always want to hear your concerns and troubles. Don’t do this again.. please.” You could see the concern and sadness on their faces. They actually want that from you. They care about you.

“I’m sorry to worry you. I will try to put my pride aside when it comes to you guys. It will take some getting use to. I know I messed up, but I love you guys too. I don’t want to lose you.” You cuddle closer to Minho and pull Chan in too. They cuddle you smiling softly.

“Our hard-headed girl” Chan pats your head and laughs. “Literally. Also, our messy girl. You’re welcome for cleaning.” Minho rolls his eyes as he says that. “Thank youuu. Sleepover?” You ask excitedly. “Sure let’s get the bed ready.” Chan says as he gets up, stretching his arms and back.

Minho taps you for you to get up and stands up. “Don’t worry we’ll be gentle tonight. You have done enough crying already. As long as you feel satisfied, we can do whatever.” He says, winking and grabbing the towels out the dryer.

Taglist — @kflixnet @l-luvr @lino-jagiyaa 🐶 @moonmukamiamajiki 🤍 @kpflyn

If you like this post, consider reading my other works listed here. I, also, accept requests here. Thank you!

[odysseywritings]

The Better Sister

@flashfictionfridayofficial

My older sister came over for the first time since Dad's funeral. We talked about important things over the phone but we stopped being close by the time she moved to the city with a lucrative career lined up for her. It was strange seeing her outside of a holiday, and when I asked her why she visited, she said it was something to do while her boyfriend visited his own family. She helped me pick up branches scattered in the yard after a nasty storm.

"So," Cheryl said in between the cleaning, "have you kept up with painting?"

"A bit," I replied with little energy. "Not many people here really want what I make. And it's hard to get anyone on the Internet unless I'm a great marketer."

She nodded and added, "You know, Dana, if you're looking for extra money, you could go into programming like me."

"I tried, but it's too complicated, even with beginner courses. I just wish there was more stuff here where I could... I don't know, feel successful and happy."

"Honestly, that probably won't happen if you stay here. If you want my opinion, Dana, you should put more faith in yourself. Otherwise, you'll be stuck here feeling miserable."

I don't know why I was so mad at her for that. It wasn't wrong, but how she said it, like it was so obvious. Maybe things were just easier when she was the smarter and prettier one and didn't get why I might've struggled more. I just wish she helped me more before she left. I grit my teeth and put on my best face.

"Maybe. I do try, though. I recently got a raise at my job despite the headache it's giving me, haha."

"That's good to show some ambition. Glad to see you coming out of your shell. Looks like we're done anyway so let's get back inside."

"Okay, but it's not looking good. Mom got worse with the hoarding after Dad passed away."

"God. Is she home now?"

"No, out shopping. Kinda glad because we can just relax."

We walked on a clear path surrounded by mountains of CDs, books, movies, tools, food cans, magazines, newspapers, and other items that merged into towering mounds of junk. I cleared up some room on the couch as we channel surfed. Mom's cat Robert Scritchum jumped up to greet Cheryl with needy affection as she made voices and messed with his fur. I'd feel more like that if we got him while the house and our mental states were in better condition.

We ended up watching a bad b-movie about an alien failing to kill a bird with a laser gun to keep things breezy. The mindless movie just made me overthink about the future. Would things be alright if I moved out and left Mom alone? Should I stay and try to tough out my issues?

I just wasn't cut out for this dilemma with my mental and physical issues. Every view into the window hurt my heart no matter what I chose. Cheryl would've handled this better. She was always the smarter one. The flow of overwhelming thoughts burrowed into my brain with an absentminded "It should've been you who stayed."

I looked back at the TV and then at Cheryl. She heard me say that aloud.

"You want me to stay here?"

My face burned and my gut sank. That wasn't supposed to spill out and now she'd think I was guilt tripping her.

"I didn't mean it, it just came out!"

Cheryl's face was hard to read and fixed on me. Her shoulders relaxed and put her hand on mine to calm my nerves. My heart rate slowed and I could breathe and think easier.

"I just had a bunch of thoughts and one of them accidentally came out. It's like... You were the responsible, rational sister. Thinking about the future of the house and Mom and your career. You would've handled that way better than me. I'm trying, it's just..."

Tears rolled without realizing it, and her hand held mine tighter, and she looked at me with gentle eyes.

"Hey, Dana, look. I appreciate what you're saying, but it's not that simple. I just can't come back to this life. Not with how I've been living now. And you shouldn't have to burden yourself with this. I don't know the right answer for you, but you've got a lot of resilience to put up with a lot of this and still be you. No matter what, Mom and I will support whatever you choose. Just please don't stress too much about it."

I sniffled and leaned over to hug her, trying to not get my runny nose on her shirt. I don't know how much of that solved anything but it was nice to just say it and to hear her without judgement. Whatever tension there was went away as we continued watching the cheesy movie and could laugh more freely. For the first time in years, we felt like sisters again.

[bobbiworks]

Beyond the Bell Chimes | Part 30

RIIZE Fanfiction: Wonbin, Seunghan, Eunseok, Sohee, Shotaro, Sungchan, Anton, Original Characters Genre: Teen romance, high school romance, fluff, angst, friendship

As autumn swiftly faded, winter took its place, casting a cold spell over everything. The world transformed into a canvas of snowy whites and dark hues, with bustling streets adorned by stalls offering steaming hot soup and snacks to thaw frozen souls.

Jiwoo strolled to the bus stop flanked by the two boys. Despite their confessions, everything felt unchanged. Unspoken competition lingered between them, leaving Jiwoo yearning for the effortless camaraderie of the past. Overthinking crept in — would they remain friends?

"Guys," Jiwoo interjected, halting their steps. They turned to her, awaiting her words. "We're almost done with the school year. Do you think we'll stay the same next year, and the next, and so on?" Anxiety gripped her as she pondered their future together.

The boys exchanged glances, offering sincere smiles. "We're friends no matter what, Jiwoo," Wonbin reassured, prompting a teary-eyed response. "What's wrong? Did I mess up?" he panicked.

"It's just that I don't want us to drift apart because of our feelings. You guys are my best friends, and I can't imagine high school without you," Jiwoo admitted, tears flowing freely. The boys chuckled, patting her shoulder.

"You're not responsible for our feelings, Jiwoo," Seunghan assured. "Maybe one day, we'll grow out of it, or maybe one day, we'll grow more into it," he added with a wink.

"Wow, you sound like a dating expert," scoffed Wonbin.

"Of course! Found it in a bookstore," Seunghan shot back, earning a playful shove from Wonbin. "You should go now," he said, ushering him to his bus stop.

Seunghan bid Jiwoo farewell, leaving her alone with Wonbin, who gazed at her with the softest expression.

"Finally, I get to be alone with you," Wonbin sighed, almost pouting. Jiwoo chuckled, fixing his hair.

"I don't know why Suyoung's been clinging to you. I can't even stand a chance," he confessed.

"Well, she said she likes me more than you do," Jiwoo quipped as they headed back to their bus stop.

"We've got a long break coming up. Any Christmas plans?" Wonbin inquired.

"I'll spend time with family and help out at Shotaro's restaurant. I need to pay for something," she explained. "Still got more than half to go."

"Can I help you? My mom doesn't spend much time with me on Christmas," Wonbin admitted.

"That must be tough," Jiwoo sympathized, patting his back. "I'll ask Shotaro if he needs more help."

"Okay," Wonbin nodded before hesitating. "Would you like to go on a date with me on Saturday?"

Jiwoo blushed. "Ehh?"

"A date. I'm sure others asked too. We've never really been out," Wonbin said, lips almost pouting.

"But I've never been on a date!" Jiwoo panicked. "Yes, they asked, but I've never gone out… I…" She was interrupted by Wonbin's chuckle, his shy and adorable smile easing her nerves.

.

.

.

The maids trembled in fear as Yuri unleashed her wrath, hurling belongings in a wild rampage. Everything she touched seemed to shatter, a physical manifestation of the chaos within her. Fuming with rage, she cursed Eunseok for the predicament she found herself in, a situation where most schools refused her due to her tarnished records at Segye High School.

"D*mn you, Eunseok!" she bellowed, the force of her anger reverberating through the room. Faced with a one-month ultimatum to secure enrollment or face expulsion from her influential family, Yuri's frustration reached a boiling point. Her family, deeply rooted in legislation, wielded considerable influence, but even they couldn't match the might of Song Eunseok's powerful lineage.

Eunseok, meticulously gathering evidence of Yuri's misdeeds and the brave victims seeking justice, had cornered her. Despite her parents' attempts to wield their authority to shield her from the consequences, Yuri's relentless actions proved too much.

During a shopping spree with college friends, Yuri's financial world crumbled when her credit card was unexpectedly locked by her concerned parents. The series of humiliating declines left her exposed, a stark contrast to the facade of affluence she tried to maintain.

"I'm going to break every one of you!" Yuri's scream echoed with a vengeful determination. In her quest for retaliation, she sought to wound Eunseok where it hurt the most. Despite their brief romantic history, Eunseok had always seemed impervious. Today, Yuri vowed to uncover his vulnerabilities and make him pay for the turmoil she found herself in.

.

.

.

Shotaro diligently wrapped up the reports in the council room when an unexpected duo, Eunseok and Sungchan, walked in. Miyoung warmly greeted them, offering seats as they entered.

"What brings you here?" Shotaro inquired.

Eunseok, surprising everyone with his directness, asked, "Can I have Jiwoo's address? I miss her."

"Uh…" Shotaro blinked, a shared astonishment evident among the group. "Are you joking?"

Eunseok, with his typically stoic expression, responded sincerely, "What do you mean I am joking? I just said I missed Jiwoo, so give me her address… please."

"My answer is no," Shotaro smiled. "You're my friend, but I won't give you her address."

Eunseok sighed, frustration creeping into his expression. "Why?"

"I don't know. Are you a player?" Sungchan chimed in, taking a seat beside Shotaro and Miyoung. "But come to think of it, Eunseok has never dated anyone after breaking up with Yuri."

"Brrr… Just hearing her name gives me chills!" Miyoung exclaimed, her disdain for Yuri evident. "What's the update about her?"

Sungchan explained, "She tried applying to Hanrim High and other schools, but she got rejected. All Eunseok wanted was for her to apologize and pay for her actions."

"That seems too much for a spoiled brat," Shotaro nodded. "Is the police involved?"

"Mr. Do hired a private detective, just in case," Eunseok revealed. "I know Yuri won't stop unless she hurts something I care about."

"Tell me about being in love," Miyoung mumbled. "I told you not to date her, Eunseok! Look what she did!"

Eunseok sighed in agreement with Miyoung's words, acknowledging his mistake. "So, for the third time, can I have at least her phone number or address?"

"I'll have to ask first," Shotaro replied, emphasizing his respect for Jiwoo's privacy. "You'll have to wait."

"Speaking of Jiwoo, did you see how she kicked her ex-best friend?" Sungchan asked, recalling Jiwoo's impressive act of bravery.

"What do you mean?" Eunseok inquired, having missed the incident.

Everyone's attention turned to Shotaro, who chuckled quietly. "Yeah, I'm warning you, Jiwoo can be a little fragile on the outside, but she's scary when angered."

"Why?" Miyoung pressed. "Have you ever made her angry?"

Shotaro shook his head. "No way. I guess constant bullying in her previous school led her to learn Muay Thai and other self-defense."

"M-Muay Thai???" Sungchan and Miyoung exclaimed, their eyes widening in disbelief. Slowly, they turned to Eunseok. "Heol…" they scoffed. "If he really did annoy her, she would have punched him by now," they said in unison.

"I never annoyed her," Eunseok shot back. "Whatever. That means she's a strong girl, and that's what I like about her."

"Pervert," Miyoung spat.

Eunseok snapped but maintained his composure. "Okay? I said it in the most endearing way. If you don't believe that I like her… then it's you."

"But she likes Wonbin, though," Shotaro added, provoking laughter from the other two. Ignoring their banter, Eunseok left the room.

[wittyreader]

Since it’s Jhope’s birthday, just something I’ve been writing for a while

Genre: Angst, Best Friends to Lovers (?)

Warning: Overthinking, Self-doubt, Reader always thinks it’s their fault whenever something happens, Hobi and reader's relationship is completely platonic (as of yet)

A/n: I haven't really decided yet if this should be simply platonic or I'll just make them end up together lol. Opinions are always welcome!

You and Hobi have been friends since the start of University and it had been going really well. You were a bit introverted but always felt comfortable enough to be a little outgoing with him since he never judged you and was always ready to join you in the madness. He shared all of his secrets with you calling you his best friend and even though you were a bit closed off, you considered him yours as well. It was after a few months when Hobi started having feelings for another girl that everything changed. 

As usual you guys were hanging out in the cafeteria during your break when he revealed that he has a crush on a girl who shared common classes with you both. "I've seen her looking at me but I've never gotten the confidence to talk to her." He blushed, keeping his eyes on the ground biting his lips. You felt genuinely happy for him and encouraged him to talk to her to which he promised he will as soon as he can. 

It was a week later that you got a call from him saying that he got her number from a common friend, Jimin who was in the same group as the girl and was more than happy to help him in getting to know her. You did feel a pang of jealousy in your heart knowing that they have been talking for a while without you knowing but buried it deep down congratulating Hoseok on getting her number and teasing him about how she'll be his number one priority now. "Don't worry babe, you're not going to get rid of me that easily" He chuckled, making you wish he'd stick to his promise. 

-------

You weren't sad about the fact that Hoseok has a girlfriend now, but a bit jealous of the fact that Hoseok now roamed most of his time these days with Jimin and his large group who shared the same personality as him and were always laughing at his jokes. You were jealous of the fact that he fit right in the group and hung out with them even when his girlfriend wasn't around. It bothered you a bit that he never introduced you to them, always preferring to just wave at you whenever you walked past them. You guys still talked though, as he preferred to sit next to you in classes you shared and always had stories to tell about how he spent his days and what dates he's been deciding for the upcoming weekend asking you for advice and places where he could take her. It did hurt when he stopped talking to you outside of campus, never calling you just occasionally texting you asking about stuff that's happening in classes when he wasn't present. You were at a state where the only thing you thought was "maybe you were the one who did something wrong. Maybe you didn't support him enough or maybe you stuck to him so much that his girlfriend didn't want him hanging out with you anymore." Though you felt like the last point was irrelevant as she always greeted you in class, carrying on conversations as if you have been friends for a long time and had a genuine smile whenever you would greet her back. It made you not dislike her, even though you felt that it might be fake and that she actually hates you. You knew you were spiralling and that it was unhealthy for you. But you couldn't stop.

-------

It took a while but you finally went to a place where you were accepting that maybe yours and hobi's friendship wasn't meant to be. You used to call him randomly when your overthinking hit you at full speed, wanting to feel validated and that he might still consider you as his friend. Conversations still flowed normal and he would always give you gossip and spill out his secrets as he used to before, but the only thing that changed was you were the one who always initiated the conversation and the secrets which used to come daily (as he always used to call you whenever he needed to tell you something) would come only when you called. He had found his group of friends and it was time that you should too.

It did take you a bit of time, but you managed to make friends with people who you could be comfortable with. (Not as comfortable as you were with him, but it was much better than being a loner). You still sat beside each other, but would only sit when the professor would enter, choosing to come 5 mins before to avoid having conversations with him which would only take you back to a place where thoughts about not being a good enough friend would consume you. He would still whisper during lectures trying to make conversations but you would just nod your head or give vague, one word answers paying attention to the board. You tried not to show that you were upset with him, always giving him a smile at the end before walking out of the class with your friends. 

But one thing was sure, how much you tried, it would still sting your heart knowing that he might not even be affected as much as you were. Little did you know, it was hurting him a lot more than you think.

-------------------

Drop in your opinions here if they should be just friends or more!

[airi-mtsm]

prompt 3 - free write

Summer sun draped down her cheekbones as Hero Penrose, Warrior of Light, savior of several worlds, found herself in the middle of Old Sharlayan unable to muster clear enough thinking required to buy a book.

What kind of book would he like? He’s probably read everything at this stall… Still, I should give him something. Maybe he’d appreciate it. What if he doesn’t? But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Overthinking. Lovely.

What prompted her to buy him a gift, and that of something he’s likely already come into possession of at some point in time? By the Twelve, G’raha Tia was a scholar! An Archon, at that! What in the gods’ name was she doing!?

Okay, okay, think. What hasn’t he likely read before? Nothing about history—that red cat was a historian, so that was off the table from the start.

Doesn’t he usually spend hours at book stalls? He’s probably knowledgeable on everything, with all that time spent. Not that Hero wouldn’t either, mind you—her only entertainment as a teenager were the dusty tomes in her father’s library.

How about…?

“Oh, if it isn’t Hero! What brings you here?”

“Eep!”

The little Lalafell, the top of her head barely skirting under 3 feet, jumped to a familiar voice to her left and turned just as quickly to a Miqo’te dressed in all—or mostly red and black.

“G’raha! H, h, hi! Hi there!!” she stuttered, stumbling through her words before the Allagan scholar. Gods, why did her train of thought always stop dead whenever he was around? That silly smile of his, and the way he’s so relaxed, and-

Think, Hero, think! Calm down! Think. That’s right, regain your composure.

“Oh, did I surprise you? My apologies.”

“It’s fine! I was just a bit… lost in my reading,” she replied carefully, chuckling nervously. “I was planning to buy a book to read on slower days… but… um, I’m not very good at deciding.”

Nailed it! Excellent improv work there.

“I could provide you my input, if you’d like?” G’raha replied, a shine in his eyes growing apparent. “I haven’t freely looked around a book stall in a while. Perhaps I could-”

“Of course! I-if you’d like!” Hero blurted out without a thought in her head.

Why.

“Wonderful! Now, let’s see what selection we have today…”

Wait, what?

Is this a win for her? Sure looks like it. Her heart fluttered in place being riiight next to the man she had loved for so long.

“If you only look to idle away the time, I would say the history of the star is a fine topic,” the red Miqo’te started. “It’s very easy to get lost in them. On the contrary, if you should seek to learn something—in theory, that is—there’s plenty of other topics that fit your needs, such as medicine, or magicks, or…”

Gods, he was so cute. It took everything in her to ask a simple question.

“I’m… um, w, what would you recommend?” Hero asked, her voice shaky. “Um, I mean, I, we, um…”

Get it together, girl!

“The history of the star, and that of its occurrences and peoples. It’s a personal preference,” he replied. “I read and read but I never tire of them. Long have I desired to go on an adventure to see sights I’ve never before, and stand next to the heroes of eld!”

“Oh! That’s a rather lovely dream!”

“It’s thanks to you it has been fulfilled.”

…Huh.

Hero did not have a thought in her head. Any thoughts currently going through ceased to flow. She did not wish to misinterpret that line of dialogue.

Oh, Raha. Always so straightforward.

“I-I’m glad…?”

Yep. Not a thought.

“I think I’ll take this one after all,” Hero finally breathed out, heart racing as she exchanged a couple gil for a small volume on the Sixth Umbral Calamity. “I, um, well, if you like it, then… um…”

“That I do. And I think you will as well—but, if there’s anything you require of me to explain, I would be more than happy to do so.”

Is this a chance?

“Th-then, we could read it together! Or something!” she exclaimed, surprised at her own volume. “I-I mean, only if you want. I’d never force you to! Um, that is to say, it’d be nice if you…”

“Of course we could!” G’raha agreed, outstretching a gloved hand. “Come. Let’s find ourselves a spot under a tree, and I’ll walk you through everything. Would that be alright?”

“Oh! Of course!”

Taking his hand, the little Lalafell gripped her small book in hand as the two of them trotted down the streets of Old Sharlayan, finally on…

A date? Could you call it that? No, of course not.

But even if it weren’t, being around G’raha Tia made her heart swirl in a beautiful way.

[notjanine]

okay so this party tonight

it's a good friend's birthday and she really wants me to come. she's the one who hooked me up with Bookstore. she's also friends with Messy Guy. both of them will be there.

WHO KNOWS WHAT:

Birthday Friend knows that i am seeing Bookstore and Tech Guy, knows that i had a bad hookup and knows a few details, but does NOT know that it was with Messy Guy. if she knew more about what happened with him, i don't think they would be friends anymore.

Messy Guy knows most of what happened between us (i say most bc this dude has a substance use problem that i now believe is worse than i thought when we were actually messing around, and apparently he doesn't remember everything he did- or he claims not to, anyway), also knows that i am seeing both Bookstore and Tech Guy (just bc my silly little escapades have been a fun topic of conversation among our classmates).

Bookstore knows most of what happened with Messy Guy, but does NOT know that i am also currently seeing Tech Guy. (they said they were cool with the whole nothing-serious-no-exclusivity-or-monogamy-ho-phase thing, but that's different from actually KNOWING there's another person i'm seeing regularly. the other people i've talked to about this (including Birthday Friend) said that it's best not to be so transparent that they know about each other, bc they both okayed what i'm about right now. i don't want them to get in their own heads about it! when i'm with them, i'm with them.)

SO my main concern is that Messy Guy will get fucked up and/or extra messy and mention to Bookstore that i'm also seeing someone else. tbh they might not even mind, but to hear that from someone they already dislike bc of what they've heard from me (which was not my intention! i don't even dislike Messy Guy as much as i should, considering)...

my secondary concerns are that Messy Guy might make a move bc he is VERY impulsive and okay maybe i'm still a little into him (like.... okay he did some stuff he really shouldn't have done, without my consent and before i had a chance to say no, and like none of it was a CRIME, but i probably should have kicked his ass, on at least two separate occasions. however. i cannot tell a lie, i am still attracted to this man. i know i should stay away from him and i have been! but. he Hot.) and i am also worried that like. what if my friend's other friends don't like me :(

my best case scenario... i think Bookstore and Messy Guy should hook up, idk, they're both bi, Messy Guy likes tall guys and Bookstore will absolutely also think Messy Guy is hot, likee.... Bookstore doesn't think this'll happen but i told them You ain't met the man yet, wait and see :)

SO basically i'm wondering if i should tell Bookstore that i'm also seeing someone else before Messy Guy even gets the chance, but that doesn't seem like the right reason, if i should even do that at all. also wondering if i should text Messy Guy to be like Hey is it gonna be weird between us, but i assume he would say It's cool no matter what, and i know i definitely shouldn't text him at all

also wondering what i should wear- the red sweater that's my go-to nice top (Birthday Friend complements me literally every time i wear it, so i could wear it For Her) or my favorite very oversized button down that is. well, it's an oversized button down, but i don't button it all the way (that was my ex's favorite on me and Tech Guy likes it too)

so anyway. anyway. just another day in my year of who the hell am i and what have i gotten myself into. i'm probably overthinking this, i'm just gonna try to go with with the flow and i'll probably leave super early anyway, before chronically late Messy Guy even gets there. and then he and Bookstore could fool around without me!

[shinyaharu98]

I posted 39 times in 2022

That's 39 more posts than 2021!

28 posts created (72%)

11 posts reblogged (28%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@a-casual-kpopfan

@akibaadmirer

@sinswithpleasure

@chunksworld

@asmodeussoularium

I tagged 13 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 6 posts

#kpop smut - 2 posts

#loona male reader - 2 posts

#male reader - 2 posts

#male insert - 2 posts

#loona smut - 2 posts

#vivi smut - 2 posts

#kahei smut - 2 posts

#loonasmut - 2 posts

#shinyafic - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 18 characters

#excellent question

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

It’s finally time. What were your favorite works/fics from the past year?

There are two that I can think of which basically made me started writing on this website.

@a-casual-kpopfan - Time - Hyunjin

That is perhaps one of the most creative and saddest stories I had ever read on this website. Maybe people just taboo of writing their kpop favs having illnesses or God forbid, passing away, but this one crossed the line and it delivered.

@yieldtotemptation - EXPERIMENTS ft. Winter

My God is this a banger. Character development? In a smut? Storylines without awkward cursing? 9k words? This is a must read for all, even if you don't really know Aespa, which I don't.

4 notes - Posted December 16, 2022

#4

thoughts on choevi?

Based on their vlives and interactions, I would say they are great pals and genuinely care about each other. They are so comfortable with each other and their smiles and laughter are absolutely genuine, viewers and fans can see that too.

As for the trilogy, I don't think Choerry would try to disrupt ViVi's personal love life (unlike Yeojin). I try to write stuff that is at least a *bit* plausible to their personalities shown on camera. Like, I can't envision a scene where Choerry tries to snatch ViVi's boyfriend away, it doesn't match her personality, it's too far-fetched.

So yeah, Choerry will remain uninvolved in this current trilogy, but in the future I'm sure they will have their own duo series!

5 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

#3

Masterlist

All links to my works will be available here! This list will be updated regularly so look forward to it!

LOONA

Heejin

Hyunjin

Haseul

Yeojin

Unraveled Secrets - Episode 2 (ft. Yeojin)

Vivi

Unraveled Secrets - Episode 1

Unraveled Secrets - Episode 2 (ft. Yeojin)

Kim Lip

Jinsoul

Choerry

Yves

Chuu

Gowon

Olivia Hye

60 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#2

Unraveled Secrets - Episode 2 (ft. Yeojin)

LOONA ViVi x Male Reader

Word Count: 7469 words

Categories: smut, girl on girl, series

Disclaimer: Here is the second part of the trilogy! This episode happened right after where episode 1 has left off. Also all LOONA members will use stage names in the most part excluding ViVi for familiarity and continuity purposes. Special thanks to @a-casual-kpopfan for proof reading!

They say time is just a perception. If you are doing something you like, it will flow by faster, and vice versa. Waiting is an arduous process, a slow torturing method designed to push your mind and patience to its absolute limits. If things going your way is like a 100 meter dash, then waiting is like a marathon. It’s the pain of going through it.

-7 days till scheduled trip-

“One week.” Kahei murmured.

Your first date in real life. 7 days left. Painful.

Unlike Chuu, who is allegedly booked full until 2054, Kahei had some free time to spare. Usually she would spend her time painting art pieces, hosting V Live from time to time, or just hanging out with other unoccupied members. But now, all she can think of is that day. THAT special first date you two are going to have. Kahei cannot stop herself from overthinking about every single aspect of it. Where should we go? What will we be doing together? And also…what is Yeojin planning anyways? As soon as she thought about that, Yeojin’s words echoed inside Kahei’s brain.

“We’ll have a threesome together unnie! We’ll be fucking all day and all night long! Isn’t it what you asked for?”

Her ears turned red. Her face turned crimson. Her heart was pounding stronger than before. Even her kidneys are pounding, for some reason.

“What is this feeling? Nervousness? It couldn’t be…” Kahei contemplating with herself. “I didn’t even feel like this on my debut stage…what is going on?”

She was completely in her zone, immersed in her own world of thoughts. At this moment, Choerry noticed her unnie was a bit strange today. Kept spacing out, and being oddly quieter than usual. This piqued up Choerry’s interest, so she decided to get to the bottom of this. But to do that, she must rescue Kahei from her own world and bring her back to reality. Choerry asked Kahei if she could join her V Live session, as she needed someone to teach her Cantonese and engage with foreign fans.

See the full post

172 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Unraveled Secrets - Episode 1

LOONA ViVi x Male Reader

Word Count: 1421 words

Categories: smut, masturbation, series

Disclaimer: This is my first planned series, so the first episode is quite short! But I'll be sure to take time and really try to bring the most out of it! Also ViVi is my bias, if that is not apparent enough, she deserve more attention honestly, enjoy!

Kahei is always the quiet one in the bunch. Surrounded by high energy girls every single waking moment is tough for her. If Yerim is like a ball of sunshine, Kahei is definitely like a cool breeze at night.

She is known for being the sweet, collective and dorky mat-nae, who would make you seaweed soup as breakfast, but yells at you to clean the dishes if she ever spot one dirty utensil in the sink. That is the Kahei we all know and love.

But being the only foreigner in the group, there are a lot of unknown secrets before her debut. Everything about her past was supposed to be a secret, tucked away into her own mind palace, and she would do anything to protect her most previous moments in life. But that is all about to change.

After a painful and excruciating annual dinner at BBC, LOONA went back to their infamous loonathedorm and finally catch a break.

Hyunjin is annoying Heejin and begging for her attention, Yeojin is taking selfies with some obscure background she managed to find and Olivia Hye is still picking out cotton from her clothes from that explosion incident. You know, just a normal day in loonathedorm.

Irritated by the noise, Kahei grabbed her phone and locked herself in the toilet to minimize the noise pollution. She took a big breath, and beginning to type on her phone rapidly with her skilled fingers. You would have thought that she texted one of the members to express her frustration pent up the entire day, but you would be wrong.

"Oppa, I'm stressed out again today…"

"Kahei-ya, it's okay to blow some steam out from time to time, 24/7 I'll be there."

"…Cheesy as ever."

And there you are, one of the few male contact in her phone, her secret male-friend that only he knows - Jason. The one true friend that stayed with her all the way from her debut until now.

"You really became a full-fledged Korean now huh? Don't we call each other on a first name basis?"

"Well…oppa is easier to type anyway."

"Anything that suits you, I'm fine with it."

A smile beamed across Kahei's face. She knows you are always the considerate one, and the funny one too. If only distance is not a problem, you two would probably hangout everyday single day!

"I'm still stressed out, can't we just do…the usual?"

"Sheesh, you sure is bold with me huh. Alright, ever ready to be of service."

Kahei opened up their secret meet link and video called you. She put her phone on the cistern so that you can see her entire body. Her pale skin and long black hair pairs perfectly with her thin waist and perky chest. She's not on the big side but still it is prominent enough to stand out. Clearly it's not the first time she has been doing this kind of stuff, being an idol is stressful after all.

"Do what you gotta do, Kahei." You murmured, and she begins to remove her clothing, one at a time. She was wearing a white tee with a denim jumpsuit that just overload her with cuteness. It was exactly the same outfit she wore in her debut single MV.

Just as Kahei is about to remove her jumpsuit, an intrusive thought made you interrupt her with a simple but bold request.

"Kahei, can you tie a twin tail for me please?"

"…Never knew you had that kind of fetish, Jason. Just this once okay?" Kahei begrudgingly tied her hair into twin tails, which makes her even cuter in your eyes.

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269 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

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