#so many walls of text but it's how i think so shrug emoji etc

[prairiedust]

The Folklore of Supernatural

Part two of a series I started with this post.

I’m reposting this as the second installment of my midseason hiatus “The Folklore of Supernatural” series, even though it was originally written as kind of a long cracky way of looking at the “sleeping beauty trilogy” of episodes in season 14 (The Scar, Mint Condition, and Nightmare Logic.) The original question I was tagged into was “Is Dean actually dreaming?” and I can not find the original post about this, so I won’t tag anyone in particular (you know who you are and I love you because this was fun to write.) I posted it once in the dead of night with no tags, but I’m republishing it as part of my larger take on folklore as a theme in season 14 of Supernatural. Bear in mind that this was written before Optimism, when it became clear that these were not part of an extended dream-sequence, BUT ALSO before The Spear when it was revealed that Michael could repossess Dean. (I’m going to talk a little bit about timing and writing meta, further on.)

I want to say a couple of things before the cut, too. This is a big old Sleeping Beauty post. I know there’s a lot of SB ideas out there in the metasphere but I’ve deliberately avoided them because I wanted to get my thoughts out here and I am Very Slow. Feel free to tag me into other posts, send me asks, whatever, because I think it’s fun to talk about. However, just because this is a “sleeping beauty” meta does not mean I want to go all the way to the end of that metaphor in this series. This particular post is general audience meta. I can’t tell anyone who might read this that no, you aren’t allowed to see a DeanCas parallel in a meta which relies heavily on a romantic fairy tale and one that was a destiel fandom in-joke after Cas died, at that. I will say, though, that I see it, so if you want to duck out now because I’m a lowkey shipper feel free. Also, I can’t endorse predictions based on meta, either, even my own, even when I think there is a big neon “Texan Star” sign saying “destiel goes here;” there is absolutely nothing stopping anyone involved in the show from making a hard left when the signs said we were going right. So rather than seeing this as a defense of DeanCas subtext, let’s call it an experiment in close reading. If nothing else, it will be fun. (Bear in mind that I am a massive dork so my definition of fun involves Charles Dickens.)

Aaand... here we go.

Is Dean asleep, and have the last three episodes (The Scar, Mint Condition, and Nightmare Logic) been a dream? How can we possibly “answer” that question at this point in the show?

We’re trying to speculate about a text that is a constantly moving target. If, for instance, you start to read the novel Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, and you know from a blurb on the back of the book that she was an anthropologist who collected African-American and Caribbean folklore, and you get to the place where the protagonist Janie’s second [redacted] ends, but there are a lot of pages left ahead of you, and you think, wow if this happens a third time, I have a theory that the third [redacted, go read this book] would be special based on what I know about folklore and the “rule of three,” well by the end of the book you will know whether or not you were right. Janie either finds a third [redacted], or she doesn’t, and it’s either special, or it’s not.

Supernatural has not ended, so there is no way of saying “Oh, the main theme we are supposed to take away from this show is ____.” I mean, we can put big money on “family” but still. With a television show, it’s hard to even say, “The over-arching themes in this season are____” until the season finale, because it is a text that is being written, filmed, and published serially. The fluid nature of subtext in serial literature was something I studied under a Brit Lit professor– she said, when we set out to read David Copperfield, that sometimes themes in Dickens concluded early or evolved late, or didn’t pan out, because Dickens changed his mind or was pressured by readers to maintain a character that he hadn’t planned to keep around (I think that character was Micawber but I can not find a shred of evidence anywhere, even in my notes from my Brit Lit class, because she kind of mentioned it in passing and I didn’t like Dickens very much when I was younger, so obviously I didn’t learn it well.) And even when you get to the end of a Dickens serial, you still might not get closure– he totally rewrote the conclusion of Great Expectations because his friends wanted angst with a happy(ish) ending.

But this particular “sleeping” symbolism that has been pointed out is really, really structurally sound and can be very well supported. What it means is (shrug emoji)

Going back to the first post in this series, the support for this reading comes from an understanding of folk tales. I’ll be primarily using European Sleeping Beauty stories, as that is what is most accessible to an American/Western audience. And, it was deliberately alluded to in the text of the show. But first let’s talk about formula tales in more depth because that is what sets this theme up in the very first episode of season 14.

Michael met with three different beings in the season opener Stranger in a Strange Land and asked each of them “What do you want?” This is in no uncertain terms a formula tale found in folklore all over the world, and you know about the rule of three even if you’ve never actually acknowledged it. In Goldilocks and the Three Bears, for instance, Goldilocks tries two bowls of porridge before finding one to her liking. She tries two chairs before settling on Baby Bear’s chair. She tries two beds before falling asleep in the one that was “just right.” There were three challenges, two of which failed and one that satisfied her. Goldilocks is an original work (and please read the Wikipedia article, it is fascinating how many revisions this story has gone through, and in fact “Goldilocks” wasn’t even the original main character) but it was based on a folk formula and has entered American oral tradition. Similarly, in the German folk tale The Three Little Pigs, the first pig’s house is destroyed because it was made of straw, the second house failed because it was made of sticks, but the third house was made of brick and withstood the huffing and puffing of the wolf. So the pattern in the rule of three is often two challenges that fail or are flawed and one that finally succeeds or satisfies the necessary conditions. For short, I’m going to call this grouping 2/1. In the Michael story, 2/1 is human, who fails, then angel, who fails, then monster, who Mikey likes. In addition, there is a primer to the rule of three in that first scene, just to make absolutely certain that the audience notices it-- Michael has Jamel guess his identity three times.

This 2/1 formula could be just something Dabb did because he wanted to do it. It’s ancient, and Michael is an ancient being. But. Can it also mean that “folktales” is a theme on the show now?

As the saying goes, “Once is an occurrence, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.” Folklore continues into the season in many different ways.

In Gods and Monsters, the scene where Dean shakes loose and punches the mirror probably lit up everyone who saw it with “mirror mirror on the wall” vibes, from the story of Snow White. The enchanted mirror is such a common “trope” in folklore that it has an index number that folklorists and others use to refer to it in their scholarship– it’s Aarne-Thompson index number D1163. So, another solid subtextual reference to folk tales. There is so much more in that episode about storytelling and retelling and  the concept of sequels, but that’s for another discussion.

We get to The Scar and Jack mentions Sleeping Beauty and no lie I ascended for a full minute. “Sleeping Beauty” is Aarne-Thompson-Uther Classification of Folk Tales number 410 because this is another story that is found freaking everywhere. (I have to make an aside about the use of the term “folk tale” just because it is in my nature not to leave things like this ambiguous– it isn’t completely certain that the Sleeping Beauty we know of Brothers Grimm and Disney fame is 100% for shore an oral tale, or at least isn’t a tale that got a little finessed when it was first written down. See, a guy in pre-Renaissance Naples named Giambattista Basile included a version of it in a collection of child’s tales hundreds of years ago (it’s horrifying btw, cw for non-con at the very least if you go looking for it) then Charles Perrault (of Puss in Boots fame) got hold of it and rewrote it in French, and folklorists are pretty certain that the story of “Briar Rose in the Forest” that the Grimm brothers collected was the Perrault story that had made its way back into oral tradition in Germany. And, like, it’s not a huge reach to say that the history of the Sleeping Beauty story that is explicitly mentioned in the show’s dialogue by Jack is more subtext about how stories are transmitted, how they are told, what happens when they get loose in the wild, etc. That’s how allusions work, and that’s coming up in my third post.)

So, three times means green light to consider “folk tales” an official thing this season, at least for a while. And the cherry on top is that Sleeping Beauty was the third story referenced. It’s neat.

But NOW. On to THE question the OP posed:

Have the last three episodes been Dean’s dream?

I’m going to pass up surface mentions of dream states and solely focus on the actual “sleepers” in these episodes in order to get at the allusion’s architecture.

In Nightmare Logic, the sleeping beauty OP has identified is Sasha’s father, who is locked in a dream-state by a djinn. In Mint Condition, the sleeping beauty is Stuart, who is in a mysterious coma-like sleep after an attack by a possessed chain-saw. In The Scar, Lora is in a sleep-adjacent death-state after being hexed by a witch. (I saw that her name on the iTunes subtitles is “Lora” which is a variation of Laura but spelled this way evokes “of lore” and that was pretty neat. Another tiny detail that bolsters the theme.)

Is Lora really a sleeping beauty, though, and why is that important?

Remember our rule of three pattern that we were given in the premiere– 2/1. Two people in this group will be more similar to each other than to the third. Both Stuart and Sasha’s father are alive, while Lora is technically all the way dead when she is in the sleep-like state. Superficially, Stuart and Sasha’s father are men, whereas Lora is a woman. Just throwing that out there. If I were writing this post for a grade, that right there is called “padding for word count.” But it is also a valid point, so we’re going to use it. Neither Stuart nor Sasha’s father are shown to resume consciousness by the end of their episodes– Stuart not at all, and Mr. Rawlings only stirs fitfully. Lora is revived when Jack breaks the spell. On the other hand, Stuart is never in continued danger in Mint Condition after his “touch and go” operation (he’s presumably safe inside the salt circle) and is expected to recover naturally, whereas both Mr. R and Lora will die/stay dead if the threat against them isn’t neutralized. Mr. Rawlings is similar to Lora because they are both under “medical care”– Mr.R is ostensibly in hospice and Lora is in the Bunker’s sick bay, and to top things off Stuart is the only one who was treated by an actual doctor: Mr. R‘s nurse was a djinn and Cas is not a doctor he just played one on TV.

The thing about close readings is that anything you can argue is probably valid, but one thesis might be better supported than another. I’m really really tired and there might be more differences and similarities that I am missing. But when you’re gathering the evidence to support a theory about a text, you can end up going a bridge too far and you’ll find yourself staring into the void, completely unable to make any progress, so at some point you just have to stake out your foundations and start digging. (Yeah, I mixed metaphors, I mixed three of them, it’s awesome, get off me.)

So. There is more evidence that Stuart and Mr. R are more similar to each other than either one is to Lora. If we apply the 2/1 template, Lora is the character who satisfies the parameter of being “odd man out.” That still might not make her a sleeping beauty for the purposes of answering the “Is this Dean’s dream” question, and here’s why.

(This is the speculation part. I love this stuff, but again I offer the caveat that using subtext to make plot predictions in Supernatural is like trying to write on a cloud with smoke. Anyway.)

If she’s the sleeping beauty, the subtextual message is that Dean might actually be dead (or might have to die to satisfy the condition that Michael is destroyed.) That possibility was brought up in both 14x01 and 14x02, before Dean came back. And eugh no one wants that. It also means that we had to have read these three episodes backwards to find the character that fits the template, because if Lora is a sleeping beauty, and if she is “the” sleeping beauty for subtextual purposes, she actually came first in the series, and you have to run the episodes backwards to get to the 1. That is subverting the trope. However, if you get the thing you want the first time why go on to the other two challenges? There is a lot in this season about calling back to earlier parts of the narrative to contextualize the present– for instance, in Gods and Monsters, Michael says to the werewolf, “You think you were picking me up in that bar?” or something to that effect and then revealed that he was, in fact, the one stalking her. In Mint Condition, we are introduced to the Janitor Victim as a Dean mirror, but we do not know for certain yet that Hatchet Man is a post-Azazel John Winchester mirror, so that scene is given greater meaning by information that is revealed later in the episode. Structurally speaking, it would be fair to say that the information we have now, that Lora the dead girl is “the” sleeping beauty, based on having seen the other two candidates, means a dead Dean reveal has been primed by the subtext. And like, no thank you?

The other possibility is that Lora, since she was dead and not unconscious, is not “the” sleeping beauty. The third “sleeping beauty” (IF there is one) would show up in 14x06 Optimism. (That title is really stressing me out.) Why would that be Dean and not some other random character? Because if we exclude Laura, the pattern resets from 1/2 to 2/1 beginning with Stuart. Stuart is a Castiel mirror, though, which is not quite right. Mr. R is a John mirror (although that episode is a lot murkier and I’ve said before if someone wants to say he’s a Dean mirror because of the djinn connection I’d agree, in which case BLAM we already have a winner.) [editor’s note, I only left Jack out because we already knew he was dying and thought this subtext was priming a twist, more at ten, this aside has been brought to you by the letters LOL.]

But then, where have the last three episodes come from? If he is dreaming, it could be one reason why the djinn couldn’t wring a nightmare out of him, and that the moment before he killed the monster with a bookend was his subconscious trying to signal to him that something is wrong…

I have said a couple of times that subtext isn’t always predictive. Some authors will have multiple subtexts or will use subtext to straight-up fool you (*waves to thriller writers.*) But the exception proves the rule here– we as readers/viewers rely on subtext to prepare us for what might be coming next. Subtext helps provide that slow build to climax that makes, say, Neville Longbottom’s absolutely stunning house cup win in The Sorcerer’s Stone such a stand-up-and-cheer moment, or that makes Harry Potter’s realization that it is his patronus, not his father’s, that saves his past self in the Prisoner of Azkaban so satisfying. Lack of subtext is the reason there is so much grumping over Mary/Bobby. I mean, they what? Had a walk in the woods together? She called him “old man” once, is that even a term of endearment??? [full disclosure I never liked those two together until after Nightmare Logic.]

And scene!

That up there is where I stopped, and now it’s clear that the person who all this was pointing at was Jack, who fell into a dramatic swoon at the end of Optimism. There were two “sleeping beauties” in that episode, too in the 2/1 pattern of the folktales we’ve discussed– the zombie, who is in sort of a dream state, and Charlie, who is knocked out by fly guy. (Again, fully dead is a red herring and doesn’t count. That’s some positive subtext.) That was basically a lot of words to be able to summarize that, yes, sleeping beauty and dreamstates is a thing so far, but where it was going was hard to predict.

There is something really important that can be taken out of this close reading, though, that is carrying throughout the season.

Jack was the character who actually said the words “Sleeping Beauty.” Jack sort of volunteered himself as tribute. Another theme this season that was made explicit by Subtext Primer aka Mint Condition is that the words characters are saying are more important than they ever have been.

AND ONE MORE THING! The above was written before Unhuman Nature and Byzantium and The Spear! Dean has been put back to bed by Michael! But but Castiel stepped into the Sleeping Beauty deal! Where are we going! There’s no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going…

Anyway in the next installment of this really long meta that will probably never end I want to explore what the history of the Amero-European Sleeping Beauty brings to bear on this season.

[anonil88]

Needs a title

Chapter 1

Rated M, because it is a college story.

~so a heads up i am new to writing fan fiction, but not stories, also new to writing on an ipad so excuse my errors atm. This was an idea that was sparked by wayhaught but, i never intended on turning it into a fan fic of sorts. But here we are, there may be some terms you have to look up but, i can explain one thing. Sorority’s and fraternity’s in American universities have a big, like an older sibling, and littles that choose or are chosen to a big. Just a slight explanation, also this doesn’t have a title yet so suggestions are welcome. ~

Sitting at the desk of the security office she lost herself in her thoughts as the phone rang. Nicole was one of the officers on duty in the security office at Woodbridge Heights University. All of the other officers on duty were out doing rounds, unlocking doos, or something else. It was just her and student officer Owen Lonnie milling around the office waiting to har if anyone needed assistance or until their shifts were over.

The phone rang out breaking them both from the thoughts milling around in both of their heads. Lonnie picked up the line, “Campus security, Student officer Lonnie what can i help you with. Uh huh . Okay, i will dispatch an officer over to help with the lock. He hung up the phone and Nicole was already shrugging her jacket on. Lonnie filled her in on the situation, a locked shed on the football field containing some necessary equipment. She hopped into the dark green golf cart and made her way over to the football stadium. Her thoughts went to how grateful she was to have this job. She graduated with her bachelors and after four years of being a part of the Mountie security family they offered her a job. She figured while she was continuing her academy pursuits. Pulling into the storage area near the field she saw the group of athletes yanking on the padlock attached to the shed she skirted to a stop.

“Finally someone showed up,” stated a tattooed beef cake that she recognized as the recruited sophomore playing both lacrosse and football. He and his gaggle of friends some geared up and some barely chuckled at his remark. Nicole tried her best not to show the annoyance she felt on her face as she dug in her pocket for keys.

“Hi , Champ I’m sure coach Ricard would love to hear how you lost the storage keys....again.” she tried to keep her tone stoic as she opened the shed and heard the non-hardy players snickered and snided her into the shed. Moving out of the way she stepped back and looked back over at champ who was waiting for the others to pull out the pads for the sleds. Nicole decided she might as well make conversation with the kid, “So are you excited for the season.”

Champ sighed and looked over, “yea, but the pressure uh does it get any better?”

Nicole thought about the pressure to bring back another championship her senior year with the women’s basketball team. She also thought about the fact that Hardy and the team were coming off of last years shiny championship win,” no it does not”, she relented. Champ had grabbed the last of the gear and nodded toward Nicole as she pulled the shed shut. Following the team she made her way to the stands checking the time on her watch. While pulling off her jacket her eyes glazed over the field when she heard a loud yelp and a clamor of groans off to the side of her.

***

The cheer squad took advantage of the good weather and the fact that the football team’s practice was going to be more than slightly delayed due to a coach and equipment gone awol. The captain of the squad, Waverly Earp opted to her squad to practice some of their sideline routine including a less than clean torch stand and even worse arabesque. It never helped that a few of these flyers had no real interest in pre-stretching nor listening knowing they would have a chance to “inspect” the new players setting out gear. She knew that the only way to get some of their attention was to op in line with all of them, leaving he co captain Chrissy to watch from the side. With a count and a lunge waverly was lifted in the air one leg pointed.

She heard the quiet groan under her as some of the girls not being a base looked up at her and rolled their eyes. She thought about how hard she tried to get everyone on the squad to like her but there was one thing always disconnecting her and a few of the others. She wondered if it was the fact that she was in a rivaling sorority than the other or that they were envious of the many ups she had going for her at Woodbridge. Little did they or mostly anyone besides the admission committee knew of her circumstances at home. Her reluctance to tell anyone about the reason why she and her sister, Wy, had left their hometown or why she loved this campus the way she did was a loaded answer. It was part guilt, part fear or rejection, and maybe a bit of a wall. They didn’t know her history so she was free to create a new future or at least try to.

The sun slightly blinded her vision as she brought her leg down yet remaining in the air. Yelling down to the girls below she informed them of the proper procedures to the stunt she just performed. Chrissy and the cheer coach backing up her words in the distance. She tried her best to listen in on what the coach was stating to her and the rest of the squad, but her eyes noticed a flick of red hair making its way across the silver and black stands and then the faint outline of a tanned muscular bicep . So focused on the person that was drawing her attention in the stands she mindlessly signaled for dismount. The base crew were already bowing at her weight and the distraction of Waverly led to a crumpled mess of girls and a few bruises to Waverly’s arm. Some how in the all she had the fore thought to cover her head when coming down but , she was still a bit dazed as people were being pulled off of her and then her off of another girls body. The person holding her upright covered the sun that was blazing down on her. Regardless of this shadow she saw a bright light and her eyes followed despite the blurriness. Her ears registered a warm voice and then finally murmurs. The stars were wearing off and she felt less disoriented coming to the sight of her coach looking at the other girls and Chrissy staring at her along with a tall concerned red head. Waverly snapped out of whatever fog the fall had caused and stared straight at Chrissy. “I am fine but, can someone actually go to morning work out,” she yelled the last bit of her statement towards the girls next to her warranting a scoff or two. She knew she had some fault yet, needed to deflect a bit.

Chrissy laughed and roped her hand around Waverly’s shoulder,” stop before they mutiny on both of us.” The woman who was very obviously a security officer spoke into the walkie on her shoulder and smiled in both of the girls reaction. Waverly caught her eyes lingering a bit too long over the face of the officer and managed to laugh off th statement Chrissy had made. Chrissy chimed in noticing a slight change in the way Waverly’s eyes were grazing Nicole. “Okay then i think I’m going to take waverly to sit down then Nic....i mean Officer Haught,” Chrissy laughed off pulling Waverly by the arm.

***

Nicole rolled her eyes playfully and tapped Chrissy’s in the shoulder as the girl turned pulling her cute brunette friend with her. Nicole beamed at her little, “It’s fine Bunny i am still Nicole or Hops, outside of yaknow when other security is around.” She started walking back to the golf cart once she had checked that none of the other girls needed to be taken to the health center on campus. On the way back to the cart she waved at one of her friends who was now the defensive coach for the football team, who had now taken to the field practicing drill lines etc. Dolls stopped her before she completely walked passed him. “Officer hops saving the day one shed at a time or should i say one girl,” he chuckled lowly.

“Ha ha, now maybe if someone made sure that they arrived on time instead of taking some extra time with a certain bar tender, i could have stayed inside getting cabin fever,” she jeered toward the man who was the epitome of tall dark and handsome.

Dolls grimaced and shrugged, “what can i say i have a thing for a spitfire named Aphrodite. Which by the way i think that was her sister you helped out there.” Nicole rose her eyebrow prying for some more information. “The one that was in the air with the brown hair. I think that is her at least because, she is the head cheerleader from what Wynonna...” He groaned as the name of his secret fling slipped his lips and the smile on Nicole’s faced widened. “I am going to go back to work please do not mention this to Eliza or anyone else for that matter,” Xavier shook his head as he turned around dismissing any come back Nicole was sending his way.

All Nicole could do was pat her friend on the back and walk back to the forest green cart.

***

Pulling back into the parking lot of the security offices and jogging into through the door she checked the clock on the wall noticing that the student officers had rotated shifts. She had 20 minutes left on her shift and took the time to sit at her desk and begin filing out a short report on the shed situation. With the report handed in as well as, her keys she started to pack her bag and set her keys a fingers length away on her desk ready to joy what time she had left of the day to herself. Pulling out her phone to pass the remaining minutes she checked the group chat between her sorority siblings and her. Scrolling up a bit she noticed Chrissy recounting her actions to the rest of the chat and the responses of rabbit emojis and jokes about her saving the day including the name of a certain face that Nicole’s mind kept angering to. She texted the group wow you guys must have nothing new to talk about like recruitment week. The responses flooded and soon enough her nickname in the chat was now officer hops and her shift was over. Saying her goodbyes to the officers in the building and striding over to her car she contemplated sending a text that dolls had inspired. Her finger lingered over the send button before tapping it and sending it to the group chat, pulling out of the parking lot soon after.

[remedial-wit]

Yaaay! thank you so much to @jessthebooklover  for tagging me! i feel honoured and loved so thank much fren :D

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: milk from my cereal 2. Phone call: my mum 3. Text message: the Group Chat 4. Song you listened to: probably a taylor swift song several days ago idk 5. Time you cried: several weeks ago

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yes (but they ain’t dead. theyre just gone) 10. Been depressed:  yupppppppp 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Yellow, gold, silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: not really 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: oh yeah, definitely 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nope unless you count parents 19. Met someone who changed you: nae 20. Found out who your friends are: yep 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no (i don’t have fb so *shrug emoji*)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all/zero -- see above 23. Do you have any pets: no but i used to have two guinea pigs

24. Do you want to change your name: nahh

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went ice skating, had dinner at a restaurant, sleepover, watched trashy rom coms, ate food, cah, etc. all that good stuff

26. What time did you wake up: Today? 12:45 approx. usually? if it’s a school day then 7:40, if it’s the weekends then 11:00 ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: catching up on agents of shield

28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving home for uni.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: last night before bed.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I can’t decide between m anxiety or depression so can i pls have superpowers. but a cool one. like flying or shapeshifting.

31. What are you listening right now: nada 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yes. yes i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ignorance

34. Most visited Website: Ao3 duhhhhhhhhhhhh

LOST QUESTIONS.

35. Mole/s: yep 36. Mark/s: i don’t think so??? 37. Childhood dream: many things, a patissier, a mermaid, an actress, a paramedic, a surgeon, an artist 

38. Hair Colour: black 39. Long or short hair:  long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yep ;)

41. What do you like about yourself: my hair and i can be helpful when asked, 42. Piercings: ear lobes 43. Blood type: idk tbh. 

44. Nickname: Beth beth, bumble, methany 

45. Relationship status: on my own... pretending she’s beside meeeeeeeee! ya im single. 46. Zodiac: Aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Agents of shield, supergirl, fairy tail, agent carter, daredevil 49. Tattoos: no, but I want one 50. Right or left hand: right but i was born a leftie but my mum trained me to be right handed. it’s weird. 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: not yet but blue pls 53. Sport: highland dancing, cricket, eating 55. Vacation: Everywhere but mostly Japan and New York. 56. Pair of trainers: nike? idk what this is asking me tbh

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating Currently: nothing but i just ate curly fries 58. Drinking currently: nothing

59. I’m about to: read fanfics. this will always be my answer

61. Waiting for: death 62. Want to: die but also live idk it’s confusing. 63. Get married: no thnks m8 64. Career: Something sciencey or artistic

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: It doesn’t matter but as i am short i say short. 68. Older or younger: same age as me i guess 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both. both is good. but everyone has nice stomach and arms

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: both pls. anything. im desparate.  73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both i’d like to think

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope, never been drunk enough 75. Drank hard liquor: nope. i’ve ha rose and cider and a teaspoon of brandy and thats it. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope

77. Turned someone down: nope :C 78. Sex in the first date: never had a date so no 79. Broken someone’s heart: Nah

80. Had your heart broken: Not romantically 81. Been arrested: Not yet ;>

82. Cried when someone died: YES. everytime.

83. Fallen for a friend: ... yes... shh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: not really. like i believe i exist(because i thonk therefore i am)but on a deeper level no. 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: no. that doesn’t really exist... like it ain’t love honey, just attraction 87. Santa Clause: i actually dk. lol 88. Kiss in the first date: Yes sure depending on how much i like them 89. Angels: Yes

OTHER:

90. Current best friends’ names: My sister: felicity, and also Anna, milli, rowan, florence, charlotte, rae 91. Eyecolor: dark brown, almost black 92. Favorite movie: Cap 2: the winter soldier, but also the perks of being a wall flower..

OkAY: so. I’m tagging @deafeningtimetravelgalaxy @yeahbutdoctorwhat @hellopurpletiger @sealands @lenacorp @mellowbutdramatic @jemmasimmouns @xcandyslice @unstrayght @with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli

enjoy?

[limbsbo]

Tag meme thingy

I was tagged by @gay-cacti lets gooo

-most recent-

• Drink: water • Phone call: my dad • Text: dad, again • Song listened to: Partition by Beyoncé • Time you cried: if we’re being completely honest, today

-have you ever-

• Dated someone twice: nope • Been cheated on: nuh uh • Kissed someone and regretted it: no sir • Lost someone special: yep • Been depressed: yeah • Been drunk and thrown up: ive been sober my whole life

-in the last year, have you-

• Made a new friend: i made a fuck-ton of new friends this past year • Fallen out of love: ive never been in love romantically, but platonically yes • Laughed until you cried: omg yeaah • Met someone who changed you: probably • Found out who your true friends are: @gay-cacti, my friend michael, a few others • Found out someone was talking about you: these two girls were talkin shit abt me wearing a green robe instead of a white one at a promotion ceremony and basically just being transphobic assholes. I dont give a shit tho lmaooo they can be ignorant all they fuckin want i have enough problems as is Kissed anyone on your FB list: nope

-extras-

• How many ppl on your FB list do you know irl?: all of em • Do you have any pets?: i used to have two cats but they both had to be put down, Indigo was super sick when i was like 3, dont remember her much, and Tigger was super old & was in a lot of pain so we put him down when i was 8. I had two beta fish named Beauty and Beast (lived up to their names lmao) and they live to be about 6 months old, which sucked bc i remember taking rlly good care of them??? Mayb my lil bros did smthn i have no clue • Do you want to change your name?: nah jamie suits me • What did you do for your birthday?: i dont remember holy fuck! Wowie you woulda thought id remember the big one-five but [insert that shrug emoji here] i think i hung out with @gay-cacti????? Julia help me out here • What time did you wake up today?: i got out of bed at 6:40am i hate highschool scheduling • What were you doing last midnight?: catchin some killer zzz’s • Name something you cant wait for: getting my grubby mitts on a copy of the walking dead season 3 for xbox one im a SLUT for this series please put me out of my misery • Last time you saw you mom: a lil over an hr ago while i was doing laundry • What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: i wish i was happier • Have you ever spoken to a person named Tom: nah but the name tom is weird and i associate that name with voldemort so. No Thnks • Whats getting on your nerves right now?: my parents • Bloodtype: O neg if youre fatally wounded hmu • Nicknames: my fam calls me JJ, J, sibling, sweetheart/honey/etc., my friends call me jamjam, my name in spanish (pronounced hai-me), and one of my friends calls me jim on occasion, that was mostly in middle school tho (also in middle school i was called pajamas bc i always wore/wear sweatpants) • Relationship status: solo sniper • Pronouns: they/them. If you refer to me with she/her i will find you and i will cover your living room with dildos. Every surface of every object in your living room will be smothered with silicone rods of phallic resemblance. Also a 55gal drum of lube will be used to coat them • Long or short hair: short, used to be long af • Height: tall enough to knock your teeth out, short enough to duck and run sucessfully • Do you have a crush?: nah • What do you like abt yourself?: im very funny and pretty • Rigt handed or left handed?: right • First surgery: never had surgery for anythin • First best friend: this girl named Abby in kindergarten, she moved away in second grade. We got along very well, her mom helped us make broomsticks from branches and hay, they were rad as shit • First sport you joined: technically ballet, but if we’re talkin olympics then tennis. I took lessons for about 3 years but then stopped for some reason • First vacation: the first one i can remember is disney world in florida back in kindergarten, that was p lit

-right now-

• Eating: burger, brat, tater tots • Drinking: nothing, last thing i drank was oj i think • Im about to: do my hw • Listening to: nothing really, just the sounds of the dryer and my fam talking downstairs • Kids: Maybe ill adopt a teenager when ive got my life sorted out (30s maybe??? Only future me knows) • Get married: if i dont get married id at least like to live with someone i trust and care about, be our relationship romantic or platonic • Career: im hoping to get into a good art school but i doubt ill be able to afford what i want, i want to be an animator or a character designer. Voice acting sounds cool too

-which is better-

• Lips or eyes: eyes. • Hugs or kisses: why not both • Taller or shorter: i wanna be taller, i like being taller than my friends • Older or younger: there are pros and cons to both, but im gonna have to go with younger. Everything is new and exciting and games are everywhere when youre young, as you get older theres still some of that but its discouraged and that sucks ass • Romantic or spontanious: Why Not Both • Sensitive or loud: i, myself, am a confusing mix of the two, so i must direct you to my previous statement; WHY NOT BOTH • Hookup or relationship: relationship • Troublemaker or hesitant: B O T H calculated troublemakers are always so much fun to hang around and they dont go too far most of the time

-have you ever-

• Kissed a stranger: no • Needed glasses/contacts: bitch im blind without my glasses. No joke. I Will run into a wall. Im basically velma • Broke someones heart: i hope not • Turned someone down: yeah • Cried when someone died: Yes • Fallen for a friend: no

-do you believe in-

• Yourself: yeah for the most part • Miracles: eh • Love at first sight: noope its cute but impractical • Heaven: i dont believe in god but i like to think that theres a place after we die that allows us to be whomever we want. You want a dick? Done. Vagina? Here you go pal. Wanna be a teen again? BAM youre 16. A place where you can be yourself and pursue you passion without fear of consequense • Kissing on the first date: it depends on your history with that person

Im not gonna tag anyone to do this but if you wanna do it then be my guest homie

[vegaseatsass]

My Stand-in Ep 4 spoilers

Now for a happy post! My Stand-In doing intimate partner violence and toxicity correctly, and by correctly I mean so so sexily <3 Loving this series a lot and recommending it to all my friends lmao. Certainly did not expect it to escalate to this level. My inner Vegas bitch is purring. Just a few notes I wanted to touch on before I get to read what everyone else is saying!

This is now a Wut hate blog! Wowie! Imagine hearing your mentee friend sweetiepie nong was knocked out and chained up in a basement by his deranged (a-affectionate) ex, and reacting like whew! Thank GOD you didn't stand me up on purpose! Lol ya know, I suspected your abusive partner was maybe abusing you, it feels so good to be vindicated in this :') I knew you were a good egg! Anyyyyyyway, no I CAN'T do a thing for you, I staunchly point blank refuse to do anything to support you now that you're isolated, blacklisted, vulnerable, financially desperate and alone. FIND YOUR OWN MEANS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY BUDDY oh but if you do something risky just know I'll be very mad at you and reject you as my nong and isolate you even harder <3 hope this helps!

Don't get me wrong I love Joe's abusive partner though <3 what a man <3 LOVE that his first line of defense is negging. You? Break up with me? Loser! I'm better than you! Lmao like the reason Joe can't believe Ming loves him even when he does start trying to tell him that he loves him isn't just that their whole relationship started as a proxyfucker situation and a lie. It's because Ming spent their whole relationship telling Joe he didn't love him!! :') :') :') They literally both just want someone to be nice to them for five seconds and Joe is able to be nice for five thousand seconds but Ming can't pull it off for more than a minute at a time before trying to get control of the situation again by being a dick. Until his boyfriend is presumed dead. LOVE THAT FOR HIM <3333333

Ming and Sol pulling each other's hair and like having a full-on cat fight was honestly hilarious, 10/10 no notes every show about trained buff men should have slap fights. for ME

Lastly!! the real reason I wanted to post is just how fascinating I find Joe's swing from "we're in love and we're going to get married" the first time Ming smiles at him into "you're full of shit Ming! Don't lie and tell me you actually care about me, I KNOW I was just a sex doll to you and you always loved Tong only!" Like I said, I think Ming playing it cool their entire relationship did not do him any favors re: convincing Joe at this late and chained-up stage that he was actually cared about lmaooooo but I am also torn between thinking that if Ming HAD been able to convince Joe he loved him in that moment, Joe would have sincerely fucked him with the chains on, and let Ming keep him there indefinitely as his basement boyfriend... and between thinking Joe's all-or-nothing reaction to Ming's affections was self-protective survival instinct, getting him the fuck out of there even if a small part of him not only wanted to believe Ming but did believe Ming in that moment. Like he couldn't LET himself believe Ming BECAUSE he needed to not give into the unhinged toxicity, rather than because he actually doesn't think it's possible for Ming to have started out using him but come to love him. Or maybe it's his broken heart and hurt pride that make it impossible to allow that his honeymoon period with Ming was fake but what came after it was real on Ming's end. Does any of that sense? What do u think?

I know nothing about what happens in the novel and that's making this an incredibly incredibly wild and fun ride but also may mean my interpretations are missing very obvious-to-the-readers context. Alas! But I am truly having a ball.