#so many things go thru mt brain that when i want to relax i cant . i just sit there stunned and paralyzed and hating myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solardistress · 8 months

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me when i did literally nothing i wanted to do even though j had hours upon hours of time to do so but didnt because my body didnt want me to get up from the chair no matter how many times i yelled for me to do so to the point i started ceying because i kept wasting time

#. frowns .#upsetting . im so . idk man idk anymore #im just good at doing assignments but even then im struggling #if im not good at this im not good at anything . im not good at anything . i dont even know what i want to do after this .#what i want to do in life . im too scared to talk to people i want to .#i dont have rhe best looks . i dont even know who i am anymore #im just ‘that smart girl’ who you get answers from because he folds easily #whenever i try to do something non academic i cant help but feel extremely guilty for not studying or something #and its so . idk . stressing .#not only am i worrying for my academics but then my social life #theres nothing there . at all . i daydream about connections with people i know i could never possibly talk to #what we could be if i . yk . wasnt so . me i guess #i think about my friends and how lonely i am even though i have them all the time #how im just a tool for people im not close to because . im that smart person at your table #im not funny . not attractive . im just smart . thats it . thats all i am #god my chest feels . really heavy because i cant talk about what i actually do want to here because certain people are going to see it and #idk . i dont want them to .#so many things go thru mt brain that when i want to relax i cant . i just sit there stunned and paralyzed and hating myself #because for some reason in my brain whatever i do is never enough #. i really have to get this fixed . i cant deal with the tight and heavy feeling in chest all the time #vent

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