#so many primitive and happy memories with her even if my life wasn't happy and pretty fucking chaotic

[mer-se]

people can be so randomly cute sometimes

[lettherebemonsters]

That wasn't what he meant! Not even close. Adam's growl became a snarl as he was shattering the table more from how hard he was clenching the sides of it with his strength alone.

" That's not what I was talking about! But go ahead, take credit for the human race when you fucked off and ran to a fucking traitor instead of me. The only thing you're fucking getting is the demon shit falling down to your level. Since you want to be a mom to failures so much..."

No, what was tearing him apart of the inside was something that was far closer to him that modern humanity. Humanity that betrayed him and sided with Lilith only to piss and bitch and moan about how it wasn't fair and how they were owed heaven even after committing the worse atrocities imaginable.

" Why the fuck should I try telling you my history if you keep thinking this is about how your fucking sinners are so fucking good at everything. You want to know what happened?"

Adam snapped his fingers, a huge sphere emerging. In it, an image of a land that had no signs of civilization outside of a tiny home made of sticks and stones.

Outside, were two boys playing, both of them looking.....so much like Adam. He was showing her a memory.......the memory of when his family had died.

The two boys were playing as an adult mad wearing primitive clothes emerged from the house. It was Adam, but......he looked different. He was very thing, and so tired. There was weight in his eyes that echoed the weight of too many lifetimes piled onto him at once, but none of the hatred he had now. Instead, despite how hard life was....he was happy.

" Cain, Abel! You've gotta get ready! The angels want to see your projects!"

His boys giggled but groaned.

" But Daaaaaad! We were having fun!"

" Yeah Dad! I was totally kicking Abel's butt!"

" Nu-uh!"

" Ah-uh!"

A woman emerged from the house to stand with Adam. She was gorgeous, looking a lot like Lilith but different. H" er features darker, her smile strained but pleasant. Instead of the heaviness Adam had, her eyes held regret and pain but that she crushed down for her family.

" Do as your father says you two! You know Sera and the others are always so happy to see what you two come up with! Maybe they'll let you fly again like last time!"

That got them excited! They always loved the gifts the angels brought them! And they eagerly went to get their stuff to show to the angels. Abel a new lamb he was raising, and Cain some awesome new veggies that had sprouted. They couldn't wait to show it to the angels!

It was such a sweet memory.....but the look in Adam's masked eyes said it all. There was nothing sweet about what was going to happen next.....

@primordialhazbin

While Adam had a hot temper, he usually wasn't like this around Lilith. He enjoyed mocking her but he was never angry about it. It had always been a game to him. But this....he was ANGRY. And it was like someone had purposely pissed him off.....and he was aiming his rage all at Lilith.

His mask glitched as he snarled at her.

" AS IF YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU STUPID BITCH!"

He was visibly distressed, his whole body shaking. Feathers poofed out, making him look much, much bigger. It was like every bad emotion he crushed was erupting out of him. He wished it was the fucking Extermination RIGHT NOW so he could just fucking massacre some worthless demon PUNKS!

" It's every fucking, year. Every FUCKING year! I see the decorations, the fucking signs! Best Dad Ever! Oh he's just soooooo perfect!

I see it in Heaven, I see it down here!"

He sank his talons into the table, the marble cracking from the sheer force he put into it. His rage turning into something worse....grief. But no, fuck no. He wasn't going to cry in front of the whore he held responsible for all this. He aimed a talon at Lilith, pointing it right at her.

" I blame you and your fucker of a husband for all this."

He thought Lilith was lying. Because he heard her laughing, heard Lucifer laughing as he held Abel in his arms. All that blood.....he didn't think humans could bleed so much. How the angels came and grabbed Cain....Cain screaming for him as Adam tried to pull his son away.....only to get hit backwards, thrown like trash as he could only watch as his son Cain was dragged into the darkness.

Screaming for him, for Eve.....as Eve wailed and wailed. Eve, who spent hundreds of years blaming him. Eve, who let evil devour her until she was just a putrid mess.

That night......he lost his family. And any hope in ever seeing the good in humanity died with them.

" I blame you for what happened to my kids."

[legomydoggos]

This will likely just be rambling but I wanted to do a text post on Jyn's behavior over the week while we were camping for my sake (bad memory lately) and I also strive to be someone who shares all sides of my life with dogs not just the highlights.

This was Jyn's second camping trip with me and I already saw big improvements!

First we spent two nights in a state forest with friends (3 people, 6 dogs total). Because of the primitive and secluded site, the dogs were able to be off leash most of the time. I only used the tie-out for Jyn as a time out for the few times she started to stray too far or when I was napping and couldn't monitor her.

She initiated play with the other dogs at least once a day and it was glorious to watch!

She did better about not resource guarding me: we practiced with me petting her and another dog and then with her in my lap while another dog came to say hi to me. Both were triggers in the past and I'd say we had a 80% success rate. She did however start to RG the car, which I didn't prevent due to not expecting it! I had the trash back there so one dog went to check it out when I was elsewhere and Jyn rushed them. (Her go to move for this is a lightning fast muzzle punch.) I made the mistake of not fully helping her feel secure when she was eating a couple times near or in the car and another dog approached so I need to be more proactive next time. She got to practice sharing her car with another dog again. On the way to the hike she muzzled punched Boe a few times so had to go on timeout in the front seat. After the hike I tethered her and she was tired so she only tried once and listened to me when I told her to go to her bed.

Hiking wise she was fabulous! Recall wonderful, decent leave it, checking in constantly, LLWing offered a good amount as well as on cue, posing for pics, worked on "wait" cue since we hadn't in a while. I have no complaints! It's also really nice to see her enjoying the water.

One trail we did was fairly busy and did show that I need to work on Jyn's tendency to fall out of LLW when she wants to smell people after they pass but once I have the energy, that will be easy to work on at home since we live in the city.

The third day, we were on our way to camp solo at a state park but my car had a brake issue that needed to be looked at so Jyn accompanied me to a mechanic and we waited for a little over 2 hours for them to replace parts. She was able to meet all the men that worked there which was great exposure for her. She was timid but happy to sniff them and allowed minimal pets. I like that she gives herself space if she needs it and doesn't get nippy/defensive anymore.

We went to the park for a walk, shower for me, and then set up camp. Jyn was getting a bit fussy, I had her in the car when I showered and then she passed out in the dirt when I napped in my hammock. She was very alert when it got dark, more so than she had been when we were with our group. And to be fair, I was as well. The campground was mostly empty of campers but during the early evening several people walked around. Jyn did try to boof at one pair so I played some LAT with her that was highly successful.

No matter where we camped, if Jyn heard something that woke her, she would get up and stare out of the nearest tent window or door, completely quiet. I sometimes talked to her softly and she would get back into my sleeping bag.

We both slept hard that third night as it poured rain and was very peaceful. Jyn sat in the car as I packed up camp the next morning. I opened the door on her side to get her harness on before we left and noticed she was shivering. When I reached around her to buckle the harness, she curled her lip in warning. I was puzzled and tried to continue so she tried to bite me. (It was very reminiscent of her first night with us when we tried to dry her off with a towel and she smashed herself into the corner of the couch and snapped if we approached.) I had taken off her coat earlier thinking it was warming up so I grabbed it to put it back on her, but again lip curl and snapping when I reached around her back. So I ended up wrapping her in a blanket. I did correct her once (with a hand clap and something verbal) when she almost connected with my hand. I left her alone and finished the rest of what I had to do and when I got back to the car she was herself again. Of course I went though as many scenarios as to what could have gotten her into that flight or fight mode. I was very concerned that she was in pain. But I think my best conclusion is that she was likely tired physically and mentally and had reached her limit. I regret not listening to her signals better. She had no other instances of this for the remainder of the trip.

Near the end of our hike on that same day, Jyn started to chew on her left hind foot and was mouthy when I tried to inspect. This is fairly normal for her, we are still working on body handling and outside in a strange place wasn't ideal. She then started kicking the ground with it. I thought perhaps she had gotten stung by insect or plant so she got benedryl then and also the next morning. She let me get a better look when she was calm and in the car and I didn't find anything suspect.

When Jyn was off leash at any campsite, she was full terrier. Like those Family Circus cartoons with the dotted lines showing where the kids go around the house and yard. Busy! Here, there, everywhere. But when she was on the tie-out, she had to keep me in sight always and would cry even if left with company. This is something that I noticed during her first camping trip and was mostly able to simply avoid this time around. I discovered that using the car to crate her if I did have to go somewhere without her was acceptable to her so I think with that, we can start to work on getting the rest of it better.

The fourth night we stayed with one friend at a busy campground. Jyn liked to watch the people go by. She only boofed and growled at one person, campground host. I think because he was going into the other campsites to deliver things instead of just walking on the road. I didn't have any treats handy at the time so I tried to soothe Jyn. She didn't stop but also did not escalate.

I love how well Jyn has taken to all of this! And she's only been with me for 8 months! Doing trips like this with her has really strengthened our bond, too.

(Rogue enjoyed a staycation with my fiancé and visits from dog walkers. I can't wait until it's cool enough again for him to want to be outside more.)

Photo of Jyn next to some fresh bear poop outside of our campsite! (The bear had walked around in the middle of the night and found someone's bin of food they hadn't put away, Jyn and I didn't see it but had listened to it happening.)